#Rasie Talks

[lilrasiesworld]

All I did was rb a few things n leave for 2 weeks n suddenly 6/7 notes r bots...

[spiribia]

they need to do more love triangles like this

[reidmania]

cedar | spencer reid

summary; breaking up on good terms and remaining friends is difficult, especially when you and spencer work together, its even harder when your life is put at risk and spencer is faced the possibility that he might really lose you.

warnings; exes who cannot stay exes, angst, fluff, they flirt w each other, fem reader, mentions of being stabbed, all cm minds things, happy ending, avoidant!reader, self sabotaging reader. BUT THERES SOOO MUCH FLUFF GUYS, they flirt and banter so much, reader is sarcastic and very playful, shes lowkey lorelai gilmore coded a little idk

an; cedar is my song. i love cedar, i love gracie abrams. thank u and goodnight. not proof read bc if i read it i probably wont post it. thank u so very muchly to @gghostwriter for all the advice on this fic and letting me yap about it.

‘Breaking up is funny, I forget you aren't mine, I forget you aren't mine. It's impossible to acclimate, every time we talk, we understate, how I know we both could die, we both could die. But you told me that you felt the same, when I told you how I needed space, but I think it was a lie, it was a lie’

“You know pointing is rude.” You mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest as you leant back in your chair. The room went silent as everyone turned their gaze to look at you. Was the timing of your statement the best? No, did you care? Also no. Hotch was in the middle of going on the details of the case you had traveled out to Louisiana for, he was pointing at the screen and the thought just slipped passed your lips before you could help it.

Spencer turned his gaze to you, eyebrow rasied, “Do you ever think before you speak?” He asked. Your lips parted before shutting again, then you let out an amused huff and shook your head, lips pulling into a half teasing smile.

“If I did that I’d lose my sense of humour— you all would be miserably bored.” You sighed back, the smiling pulling further on your lips as the messy haired brunette sitting opposite you raised his eyebrow further and let out a half hearted— almost sarcastic chuckle in return.

He tilted his head slightly, “Humour? Is that what we are calling it?” He asked. You nodded instantly, a wide, half proud smile taking over your features. He hummed, clearly amused.

“Why is pointing rude?” JJ spoke up, your eyes widened in almost excitement to be able to talk about why the thought had crossed your mind in the first place.

“Well when you point you kill all the fairies.” You replied, matter-of- factually. You knew it was technically silly but it was a sweet childish thought that had been engraved in your mind since you were younger and you heard it from a distant relative, probably as a way to you from stop pointing at someone (because that was rude but explaining that to a five year old would be useless so they settled on something more interesting for an adolescent)

Spencer let out an audible laugh, “You are a child.” He said, almost teasingly.

Your head turned away from JJ’s to meet his eyes, this time you sat up a little straighter, “What does that make you?” You teased back, raising your eyebrow at him.

Seemingly, that made his lips part then close, and he resigned, yet there was still a slightly amused smile on his lips, which he bit his lip to try to hide, as he turned his attention away, making your smile only widen as you settled back in place, slumped against your chair as you turned your attention back to Hotch. who was standing arms crossed, clearly unamused by the interruption.

You however just smiled widely at him, “You may continue now. Without pointing, don’t be a fairy murder.” You huffed out. Hotch stared at you for a moment, no emotion evident over his features before he shook his head, turning his attention back to the case at hand.

Your eyes caught Spencer’s for a moment. In those moments it was increasingly difficult to remember you weren’t together, it was further difficult to remember why you had broken up in the first place. The way you interacted, the looking for one another in a crowded room, the soft touches and the teasing taunts went against every breakup ‘rule’

The breakup wasn’t messy. Not really, Not at all. It wasn’t mean, there was no big argument, no mind changer, no feelings lost, it just.. happened. It started when you had admitted to Spencer you were getting overwhelmed with the fast pace of your relationship, and he agreed he was too. You both agreed to take space, time, to reevaluate on what you both needed at this point in time.

When the conversation finally happened, you told him you thought it would be better to end things now, while everything is good so theres no chance of things going bad. You explained your reasoning by saying you didn’t want to lose your friendship with him if that feeling in your chest never went away, you didn’t want things to be awkward at work.

He had agreed, and it was mutual. You both mutually agreed to end things out of the fear of things ending.

It had been a month since the breakup, there was no awkward phase between you two. There was no tension, bitterness. It instantly fell into the same rhythm that had always been there, playfulness, teasing, lingering glances. The only difference was now he didn’t steal kisses to cut off one of your dramatic rambles, or wrap his arms around your waist at the end of the work day to signal he was ready to go.

You hadn’t decided yet, if the breakup was the right thing to do, if keeping this close knit bond with Spencer stumped any chance of you moving on — not that you planned to right now.

The breakup wasn’t messy, but everything after, everything now and everything in your head was.

“Spencer” You poked at his arm as you approached where he was standing, leaning over a desk reading over something, you weren’t sure what it was, you didn’t really care. He didn’t look at you as he let out a hum of acknowledgment, making you smile. “Spencer” You repeated, poking his arm again, and then again, until he turned his head to look at you.

His raised eyebrow and the way his lips pulled into a tight thin line showed he was unamused, not annoyed. You smiled widely at him, “You’re in my way.” You said, something you could have told him when he was half paying attention, but that took all the fun out of it.

He stared at you blankly for a moment, before crossing his arms over his chest, leaning his body against the desk further, turning towards you. Which only further blocked your path. “Thats unfortunate.” He sighed, you squinted at him slightly.

“Can you move.” You huffed. No longer amused because it was less amusing when he was amused as well. Maybe that was silly but you couldn’t help it.

He raised an eyebrow, pretending to think about it for a moment, before looking back at you. You glared at him, crossing his arms over your chest before he spoke. “Whats the magic word?” He mumbled, tone laced with faux seriousness.

A huff left your lips, as you glared up at him, squinting your eyes slightly, “Chivalry is dead?” You suggested sarcastically.

He grinned, “No. And that’s a sentence. I said magic word”

“You know what? I will just go the other way.” You decided, turning on your heels to walk away. A laugh left his lips as he reached out to grab your wrist, stopping you from getting too far, he dragged you back to stand in front of him.

“Stubborn.” He mumbled, shaking his head as he looked down at you, you returned the gaze, tilting your head slightly as you looked up at him, trying to keep the smile threatening to make way onto your face.

“You just noticed?” You replied in the same tone. Although you knew he had known this for a while, he never failed to mention how stubborn you were throughout your relationship, whether it was playful or in the middle of an argument, he constantly reminded you just how stubborn you were.

He shook his head, not bothering to hide the amusement on his face. “No, No. Trust me you make it very known.” He said, emphasising his words to make it clear that not only he, but everyone was aware of your stubbornness.

You smiled, “Being stubborn isn’t a bad thing, you know.” You mumbled, gently pulling your wrist away from his hold, not because you didn’t enjoy the touch but more-so because you felt an undying urge to cross your arms.

He hummed, looking down at you, “I didn’t say it was.”

You tilted your head, the same entertained look in your eye that mirrored his, “You inferred it.” You said, matter-of-factually, although he didn’t, not really. He actually didn’t give any hint to what he meant by his words, but you were okay with that. It kept things lighthearted, easy.

“You assumed.” He said in the same tone. “I didn’t infer anything, I simply made an observation.” He said, raising his eyebrow as if he was trying to figure out how you were going to find a way to reply — he assumed something witty, dramatic.

“Can you observe from elsewhere.. you’re still in my way”

He let out an amused laugh, “Im still waiting on that magic word” He said, clearly enjoying this and the light hearted banter between the two of you.

You rolled your eyes, in a huff of frustration you ramble, “You are creating a hostile work environment. I feel unsafe. I feel targeted and threatened. How do you feel about yourself, after treating me such a way? You are a horrible evil person. Im going to take this to corporate.” You babbled off into a dramatic tangent which only furthered Spencer’s amusement of the current situation.

“I feel pretty great actually.” He shrugged, you glared at him, staying in place for a moment to see if he would move, he didn’t, instead he continued smirking slightly. You groaned dramatically before turning on your heels and walking away. You could hear his laughter as you walked around the opposite direction to get where you wanted to go in the first place.

“I hate when my job actually requires me to do my job.” You huffed out, shaking your head as you tightened the straps of your vest. It wasn’t true, you loved your job, you loved what you did and that wasn’t a question. It was just the dramatics and the emphasis on how tired you were today, although that didn’t stop killers from killing, or kidnappers from kidnapping.

Unfortunately this case was particularly tough, it had taken an abundance of days to just figure out the victimology and connection because of how random the killings were, then it took another day to figure out the MO, then the profile was completed, then the next day, today, you had finally gotten the location of where the unsub was keeping his victims.

“Yeah, Such a struggle, poor you” Spencer mumbled out as he came up behind you, readjusting the straps on the back of your vest to make sure it was on properly, his voice was laced with tease, you just hummed in acknowledgment.

“Make sure you’re careful, and cautious.” Hotch reminded you. You didn’t think much of it at the time, it was the same reminder as always when catching an unsub, don’t do anything unnecessarily dangerous, don’t split up unless necessary, don’t put yourself in a situation that you cant get yourself out of, the words you had heard probably a million times.

You wished you paid closer attention this time.

You and Spencer walked through the house, it had an ominous feel to it, the air in the house was colder than outside, and it wasn’t a particularly warm day — but it wasn’t the temperature that made the house feel as cold as it did.

Instead it was the guttual sobs you heard from underneath the floorboards that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand, and goosebumps to line your arms. They weren’t sobs of pain, instead just ache, a cry so loud begging for someone to hear. Before that you were about to whisper a stupid joke to Spencer, now you felt as if you couldn’t breath.

“Stay here.” He whispered to you. There was something unfamiliar about the look in his eyes and any wit you could muster up was thrown out the window at the sound of his voice. It was a stupid request, you couldn’t just stay here in the hallway while he wandered around. You had a job to do.

When he turned the corner, gun pointed protectively, his movements were calculated and careful, every step he took he knew what he was doing, You thought you did too. The first step you took was quiet and your gun was pointed, your finger hovering over the trigger.

Spencer moved towards the sound of the sobs, you moved towards the living room, trying to clear the downstairs area of the house. There was a pull in your stomach for a number of seconds, a twist of anxiety you pushed to the side to focus on the matter at hand.

That didn’t last. Ignoring the feeling in your stomach turned into gasping at the feeling. A gasp of pain leaving your parted lips as you stumbled forward, the gun left your hand and hit the ground, the sound of the contact blurring as a ringing swindling sound took over your sense of hearing.

You were stabbed. You could feel the metal, more than you wanted to admit, you could feel the way it pressed into your skin, the coldness of it against the warmth of you. A sob of pain left your lips before you could help it. There was someone holding you, wrapping a tight arm around your chest and a hand over your mouth to silence your cry.

The arms weren’t comforting, in any sort of way. They were too tight, too suffocating for the lack of air you were able to breath in between the hand covering your mouth and the pain in your stomach, you wished adrenaline would kick in but it seemed to dwindle out as your head spun, then the knife was ripped away from your stomach.

That hurt.

More than it did when it first went in.

Then you were released from the mans arms and your body collapsed in pain, eyes squeezing shut as your hands scrambled to press against the open wound now bleeding out. You didn’t know where the unsub was, you didn’t hear footsteps, you didn’t really hear anything. Everything seemed blurry, not your sight so much since your eyes were squeezed shut but you could feel your mind blurring with every second that passed, any first aid training you had learnt flew out the window.

You missed it at first, the sound of the door opening, the sound of back up coming in, Derek, Emily. They were in the house now but not in the living room, not where you were lying on the floor in a helpless pool of your own blood. You wanted to yell out, or sob but every sound got stuck in your throat.

Then you felt a larger hand pressing on top of yours, placing more pressure against the wound than your tired arms had allowed, you made out frantic talking but nothing your half conscious mind could string together coherently. It didn’t matter, you could recognise the roughness of the gentle hand anywhere.

“Spencer” You gasped out, panting.

Had you been holding your breath? You didn’t remember but you knew breathing was getting more and more difficult.

His hand pressed against yours, other hand coming to brush hairs out of your face. “Im here. Can you open your eyes for me?” He almost begged, his voice gentle and reassuring and laced with panic even though he tried his hardest to remain calm for your sake.

You didn’t reply, only letting out strangled gasps for air, eyes remaining shut, squeezed tightly, as if the harder you squeezed them shut, the more your pain decreased. Unfortunately thats not how anatomy works.

“Open your eyes for me angel, look at me.” He now did beg. If you were conscious you would’ve given him a look for the use of the term of endearment in your current broken up state, but you could hardly process anything else he was saying, and you were bleeding out so there was clearly more important things.

You struggled, but after a moment peeled your eyes open to look at him. Vision was blurry and fading in and out even few seconds even when your eyes remained open, you couldn’t make out his features, you couldn’t see the tears he was trying to hold back. God you wished you could see his face.

“Good, thats good. Keep looking at me, Okay? We’re getting you help, you’re gonna be okay” He reassured but it was more of a slight reassurance for himself, trying to convince himself as such. His voice became a ringing in your ears, along with every other sound around you.

“Wh- Where- Is—“ You words came out mumbled, muffled by gasps for air and whimpers of pain. “He.” You finished, trying to keep your eyes open, trying to focus, trying to stay alive.

Spencer spluttered for a moment because he didn’t know— He had no idea. Whether the unsub was right behind him or whether they were being taken into custody by Derek or Emily, whether he was lying dead on the floor somewhere. Spencer didn’t know. He couldn’t. How could he focus on anything else?

“I don’t know” He said.

“Go away” You mumbled, eyes now fluttering closed, even in the state of half consciousness you knew Spencer was still in danger, more danger by keeping his back to his surroundings and his focus on you. That was putting himself in an unnecessarily dangerous situation.

He shook his head. “Im not going anywhere. Keep your eyes open.” He repeated.

“Spencer” You huffed out a breath of air, your eyes remaining closed because you were so tired. “Go. You- You aren’t— You aren’t my boyfriend anymore” You huffed out the words that came across way harsher than what you intended them, “Staying- With.. Me isn’t your.. Responsibilty” Your words came out laboured along with the way your chest rose and fell, the breaths that left your lips.

“Don’t say that. Open your eyes.” He shook his head as his other hand trailed down to your neck, fingers pressing against your pulse point. You couldn’t feel it, every part of you and every inch of his touch felt like a lingering sensation over the numbness of your body, your eyes remained shut.

“If i die” You huffed out, your voice quieter, more rushed as you tried to get more air in, “Please” You started before you let out a gentle sob, not of pain, you weren’t in pain, not anymore. “Please don’t let them use a bad— photo of me.. at..- my funeral”

It was the most you things to say before you stopped replying, before your body tensed slightly. To joke, to be playful at a time like this. Spencer wondered if it was an attempt to calm him down, to relax his mind a little bit, to sooth the ache in his soul with the wit that was unforgettably you.

The cream coloured walls seemed taunting, they were warmly lit, contrasting how cold the space felt, how daunting it was. There was different people scattered around, some crying, and grieving, some reading newspapers, others celebrating. There was really no contrast of emotions quite like a hospital waiting room.

“She just got out of surgery. Shes in the ICU.” Hotch said as he stood in front of the few members of the team that were sitting by waiting. Everyone wanted to stay at the hospital and wait throughout the time of your lengthy surgery, not everybody could.

“Is she okay?” Emily asked, sitting up a little straighter as Hotch spoke, Spencer remained silent in place, every part of his body relying on the ache in his chest to keep his heart beating. He didn’t know if he could form words even if he wanted to, he didn’t know if he could speak without his voice breaking.

Hotch was silent for a moment, which caused Spencer’s head to snap towards him in nothing but pure dread. Hotch realised and shook his head. “Shes— Shes fine. Shes alive. Shes still asleep, they said it could be a few hours before she wakes up. The surgery went fine - She will be okay” Hotch sounded relived as his spoke, an unfamiliar sense of emotion in his voice.

“Can I see her?” Spencer spoke urgently before he had even fully understood what he was saying. If he had thought about it for a moment more, he wouldn’t have bothered asking. He wasn’t oblivious to the inner workings of a hospital. ICU. Family members only.

Hotch seemed to know that Spencer already knew what the answer was, “Reid..” It came out regretful, apologetic, empathetic. Spencer didn’t reply, instead re-slumped back in his seat in defeat.

There was hours. Hours before you were awake. In those hours Spencer was nothing short of a mess. He tried to work, reading over case files, trying to summarise what had happened and then the memory of your blood painting his hands came back and he was left in a state of overwhelming thought.

“You alright, pretty boy?” Derek asked, despite the playfulness of his words, his tone was serious. It wasn’t a secret how much you meant to Spencer, it wasn’t a secret how much he cared about you. Spencer looked up from the hospital seat, the room had grown more absent of life as the hours passed, families came and went, the crying stopped and started again, the celebrations happened and passed. Yet spencer never stopped feeling so lost.

He shook his head, saying he was fine would be a lost cause to the knowingness of his best friend, and his current state. He was so evidently not all right that saying so would be humorous. His cheeks were flushed, hair a mess from the amount of times he had run his hand through it, tugged on the strands stressfully.

“You know what she said to me?” Spencer mumbled out as he pulled his gaze away to look at his fiddling hands, “She was laying on the floor, dying, and she told me to go away because I wasn’t her boyfriend anymore” Spencer huffed out the memory.

Derek sighed, taking a seat next to the mess of his best friend. “I don’t think she meant it like that. The situation was still dangerous and you were putting yourself at risk.” Derek said. Spencer wanted to cry.

“I know— I know. She said ‘it’s not your responsibility to stay with me anymore’ — I don’t— I can’t—” Spencer couldn’t articulate the emotions swamping his mind. Everything was overwhelming, every time he closed his eyes he saw you on the floor in a puddle of deep red blood, anytime his fingers remained still for too long it was like he could still feel your pulse running flat against them.

“Breathe.” Derek reminded as Spencer got himself worked up.

“I lost her— I lost her.” Spencer shook his head as the words came out, his hands pulling to his face to rub over his eyes, maybe as to hide the way they’d begun to water, maybe to feel anything besides the heat of his cheeks.

Derek sat up a little straighter to rub Spencer’s shoulder, “Shes okay. They said she will be fine. They just want to look over her for a while. She was in a tough surgery, I don’t know much about hospitals but I’m pretty sure being in the ICU means shes getting all the care she needs to recover better, and faster.” Derek tried to comfort.

“Its- No- I already lost her Derek. I was an idiot and I didn’t say anything — I didn’t say anything because I was scared of losing her and i lost her anyways.” He rambled, an overwhelming force of regret lingering in every word he gasped out.

“Your breakup? I thought that was mutual?” Derek furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Spencer wanted to laugh, because technically it was. Technically they had both agreed, technically this is what he wanted as well.

He just wanted you.

“She wanted space— I thought.. I thought everything would be okay. Then she suggested we break up while things are still good enough for us to end on good terms and be friends. I just — I didn’t want to lose her; I wanted her to be happy and in my life so I didn’t say anything.. I- I settled for being friends because it meant — I thought it meant i still had her” Spencer was a mess and it was evident in the stammer of his words in the midst of his ramble.

“You don’t think you do?” Derek asked, Spencer shook his head as he brought his hand down to rub gently over his chin and bottom lip, a shaky breath leaving his lip’s. “I think you do.. I mean everyone does. You two still act like you’re together.” Derek said, furrowing his eyebrows.

Spencer sighed, “Thats just— Thats how it was before we started dating. Sometimes it feel’s like we are still together.” Spencer mumbled, Derek opened his mouth to speak, but Spencer cut him off. “Shes going to wake up, alone. Her family is in a different state and I’m not allowed to see her? I- This is bullshit.”

“Just say you’re her husband” Emily said, catching both of the boys off guard, they hadn’t heard her approaching. Spencer lifted his gaze from the ground to look at her, eyebrows furrowed. Any other time, if it was for any other person he would probably go over how that went against so many rules, but he couldn’t find himself caring.

Not when it came to you.

He broke protocol. He wondered how many times that had happened today as he sat beside you, his hand on of yours, thumb gently running over your knuckles as you laid still unconscious on the bed. He paid attention to the beeping of the machine, the rhythm of your heartbeat, making sure it stayed consistent like his life depended on it — like your life depended on it.

You mumbled something, causing his gaze to break away from the screen to your face, watching it twist slightly. Your eyes remaining closed, then your hand twisted to interlink your fingers with his. You were evidently in pain.

“Hey- Hey don’t move too much. Do you want me to get your nurse? They can give you some different meds” Spencer ushered gently, leaning closer to the bed as you stirred awake. He wasn’t sure if your lengthy amount of time spent unconscious was purely because of the antiseptic leaving your system or also the need for sleep but he was glad you were awake.

“No” You rasped out. Whatever medicine they had been pumping you with since you got out of surgery did its job. You weren’t necessarily in pain, just uncomfortable. Even with your eyes closed you could feel the brightness of the white hospital lights. You knew where you were.

Spencer squeezed your hand gently, making you now very aware that he was holding your hand. “What the fuck happened?” You huffed out, voice groggy and full of confusion. You knew where you were, you knew it was something that happened on the case, you knew you were stabbed, but everything after the knife made contact with your abdomen was a blur in your memory.

“You were stabbed.” He stated. You opened your eyes to glare at him, “Yeah- Spencer, no shit.” You shook your head, he smiled. “I just— Is everyone else okay?” You asked.

He nodded. Derek and Emily had saved all the victims and the unsub was in custody, he explained that to you softly, mapping out every detail so you could make it out enough in your mind to satisfy your need to know what was going on.

“Next time can you tell him to do better? This bed sucks” You referenced to the unsub stabbing you, and leaving you alive and uncomfortable. It was a joke. You tried to move without causing yourself any pain over the uncomfortable thin mattress of the hospital bed. Spencer smiled and let out a breathy half hearted laugh.

“I’ll be sure to let him know” He returned your playful tone but it was heavier, quieter. It was filled with something more, something unsaid. His eyes dropped from your to back to your hands that were twined together, rubbing his thumb gently over the webbing of your own.

You tilted your head slightly, “What’s wrong?” You asked, it didn’t take a genius to read Spencer. You had memories the is and out’s of his head, or you thought you did. You knew enough.

“I thought I lost you.” He said, shaking his head slightly. His voice was so quiet and filled with guilt. “We broke up and.. because of what? Because we didn’t want to lose each other— I almost lost you.” His words held so much gravity it felt like it had all been taken from your surroundings and you were floating on everything left unsaid and unfinished.

“But you didn’t. Im alive.” You smiled playfully. He said your name, serious, showing he wasn’t playing around about this, that it went further than just this situation. You sighed, and shook your head. There were only so many jokes you could make to downplay the weight of the space between you.

“Okay. We broke up.” You mumbled, looking at him. “Because things were weird and it was too much and if things kept going then if we ended later it wouldn’t be on good terms and then we wouldn’t be able to be friends and thats horrible for everyone” You said, recapping your mutual decision to break up.

“Why do you do that?” He asked, squinting his eyes as he looked up at you.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Do what?” There was a number of things he could pull you up on, your avoidance, your jokes, your way of downplaying everything and anything.

“Plan the end of things when they have hardly started. You were planning a breakup for a relationship that was doing perfectly fine. You needed space, I gave you space, then you decided you wanted to break up? Why?” He huffed out.

You furrowed your eyebrows further at his words, but he was right. Of course he was right. “You said you felt the same.” You mumbled, maybe if he had called you on your bullshit a month ago things would be different and you would’ve worked things out, you two would be together and maybe everything would be different. You also knew it wasn’t his responsibility to try and understand emotions you couldn’t comprehend or communicate to him.

“I didn’t want space, I didn’t want to break up — but I didn’t want to lose you all together.” He admitted. You suddenly felt the wind knock out of your chest. You wondered if the way your heart beat increased showed on the monitor, which seemed all too revealing.

“You didn’t say that.” You muttered.

He sat up a little straighter, not letting go of your hand, his fingers stayed tangled with your own. “Would it have changed anything if i did?” His voice was quiet, as if a question that didn’t need an answer.

“It was going.. too fast” You huffed. The relationship did go fast, but maybe it was because the two of you spent way too many years in this flirty banter phase before either of you actually made a move; maybe because you were both already so comfortable with one another.

“We could have slowed it down.” He said, rebutting.

“And if that didn’t work? If it was all just too much? Then we argue and we end on bad terms and then not only is it awkward for everyone at work but then we can’t even be friends” You repeated your point, the fear engraved in your mind.

“What if it did work?” He shut you up with his point, before he continued. “What if it did work and then everything was fine. What if you told me when things are getting too much or overwhelming you and we work together to fix those issues so we don’t end at all.”

“That’s optimistic.” You mumbled sarcastically. Everything he was saying made sense, everything he was saying was ideally how a relationship would go, but it wasn’t as simple as that for you. You couldn’t help the way your mind thought the worst.

Spencer huffed shaking his head, “You’re stubborn.” He said. And he never let you forget it.

“Im realistic.” You resorted, but you weren’t: You hyper fixated on everything that could go wrong and got yourself out of those situations before giving anything a chance to work out itself.

“You’re an idiot. And I love you.” Spencer exhaled. It wasn’t a crazy love confession because you knew this. He made it known everyday. Even everyday you were broken up. He didn’t need to hide it. “Can you give us a chance? A proper chance without planning our breakup before theres any actual reason for it, please.” He mumbled, half playfully and half so serious.

You considered his words. Honestly your last thought before falling unconscious was the fear that you would die without Spencer knowing how much you loved him, how much regret you lived with for the state you had got yourself into with him, the fear you had of not having him in some way, none of these thoughts you could voice aloud when dying.

“Okay.” You settled.

“Okay?” He asked, repeating it back as if he didn’t believe you. You nodded, repeating it again. He breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Okay good, because everyone on this floor thinks I’m your husband and it would’ve been really awkward if you just rejected me.”

[runnning-outof-time]

Congrats on 350 followers, Madelyn @jomarch-wannabe ! I hope you like this little, fluffy story that I thought up almost immediately after reading the prompt I picked - it’s italicized in the story! I couldn’t help but add little touches of Jane Eyre into the moodboard as well. I hope I didn’t go too sappy on this one - Enjoy! 💕

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Thinkin’ ‘Bout Forever

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: none…just a bunch of sappiness and maybe a bit of Tommy being ooc

Summary: (Y/N) asks Tommy a question that’s been burning in her brain for the longest time. She gets a rather surprising response.

“Do you think we’ll be in love forever?”

“What?” Tommy asked upon hearing (Y/N) speak out of nowhere. She spoke so suddenly that he wasn’t able to properly catch what she was saying. He turned away from the mirror, where he was adjusting the cufflinks of his shirt, and fixed his gaze on (Y/N), who was standing by the windows of their shared bedroom.

“You and I…do you think we’ll be in love forever?” she repeated herself, looking over at him once she was finished speaking.

Tommy let out a breath of a laugh, looking away from her the second she met his gaze. He glanced down at the floor, setting his hands on his hips as he cleared his throat. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to answer that, love,” he told her, looking in her direction again.

“A simple yes or no would suffice,” she answered nonchalantly, tipping her chin up slightly as a smile played on her lips.

Tommy looked away again, licking his lips as he ran a hand down the back of his head. He then refound her gaze, holding it for a few moments before he began walking in her direction without a word. A glint of surprise shined in (Y/N)’s eyes as she watched him move, wondering what he’d do next.

He reached out and took hold of her waist, making her giggle as he pulled her in closer to his frame. She glanced down and grabbed onto the sides of the unbuttoned waistcoat he was wearing, wondering how he’d react if she went about buttoning it up. She didn’t have much time to wonder though, because in seconds, he reached up and gently took hold of her chin, tipping it upwards so that their eyes could meet again.

“Since when’ve you been thinkin’ ‘bout forever, eh?” he asked her, his one eyebrow rasied.

(Y/N) pursed her lips together as she tried her best not to let her feelings show through her features. Inside she was heating up quickly, unable to keep her cool under his close, intense gaze. There was something present in his eyes, something unreadable, but not entirely foreign. No, she’d seen it before…he always seemed to have that look when his eyes were fixed on her.

“Hmm?” he asked her when she didn’t respond.

“I just…I think about it sometimes,” she answered this time around, hoping that she didn’t sound like some kid who was sheepishly admitting that they’d did something wrong. Because this wasn’t something she’d done wrong.

“Yeah?” his single word response came out like a question. He’d always answer this way when he caught on to the fact that she wasn’t sharing all of her thoughts…like she wasn’t now.

“Yeah,” she responded, nodding as best should could with her chin trapped between his fingers, “don’t you ever think about forever?” she turned the question back on him, eyes shining again.

“Love, forever’s a long time…” he told her, watching to see how she’d react to the first part of his sentence. Her expression didn’t show anything, but he could feel her posture slump slightly in his hold. He searched her eyes for a moment before continuing, “but I can’t say that I haven’t thought about spending it with you.”

“Tommy,” she couldn’t help but breathe out when she heard the second half of his statement. He was usually a man of few words when it came to sappy or romantic situations, choosing instead to let his actions do the talking. But now that she’d heard him say this she was sure that she’d feel the desire to coax these sort of declarations out of him daily.

“You asked the question,” he reminded her, his thumb brushing against her chin, “I was just answerin’ it for you.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t supposed to make me want to go weak at the knees with your answer,” she defended herself, glancing down at his waistcoat as she fiddled with the buttons of it.

“What were you expecting?” he decided to ask, dropping his hand back to where his other sat on the swell of her hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into the fabric of her dress as he awaited her response.

“I…I don’t know, but I can’t quite say that I was expecting that,” she sheepishly answered, definitely sounding like a child who’d done something wrong…although she still hadn’t done something wrong.

“Were you expecting some half-assed response? Eh?” he questioned, the slight pressure he placed on her hips making her look up at him again, “were you expecting me to dodge the question entirely?”

“Honestly…?” she trailed off with a question, her eyebrow raised as she held the pause for a few moments, trying to push back the grin that was threatening to surface as she noticed his look of anticipation. “Yes, I was expecting that,” she then told him, her smile breaking through as she saw the look of surprise that formed on his face.

“Well, love,” he started, trying to hold his composure as he let out a breath of a laugh, “I’ll say that it’s hard not to think of forever when I’ve got someone like you.” He expected her to laugh at his sappy statement. He expected her to want to break away and go and tell every and anybody that she could that Tommy Shelby’s cold front had been cracked, but she didn’t.

“I know what you mean,” she said instead, a soft smile forming on her face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “and that’s because I’ve got you.”

Tommy chuckled softly before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. She gasped against his lips, surprised by the sudden kiss, but she didn’t dare pull away. Letting go of the now properly fastened waistcoat, she brought her hands up to his cheeks, holding him close as the kiss deepened.

“I don’t know why you buttoned that,” he mumbled against her lips, referring to the waistcoat she’d finally abandoned.

“I know how to unbutton it just as well,” she told him, kissing him through a grin as his hold on her tightened. She couldn’t help but lean back against the window’s ledge, allowing him to slot his leg between hers as she propped herself up slightly.

“Forever, eh?” he asked, pulling back just enough to match his eyes to hers. He saw them brighten, and that alone was enough to bring a smile to his features.

“Forever,” she agreed, tugging on his jaw so that their lips could meet again.

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MASTERLIST

[tinydefector]

Omg I just thought about this !!!!

Ok ok so Megatron's and his Human partner sparkling, what if Tarn found out that the ex leader he look up soo much receive the news that Megatron have a little sparkling???? Would Tarn kidnapped the baby sparkling so he could raised a better and new leader than the father??? ( Although i don't think megatron and his partner would not let that happened, i specially imagem that human would be more angry and protective of baby sparkling)

What makes it even funnier is imagine that Tarn gets there expecting a little tank bitlet, but instead, he's met with a snarling human with a very small little human child. At first he's in disbelief because this... this was Megatron's sparkling. Everyone talked about this tiny little squishy bean in the older human's arms. It makes him honestly want to laugh because of how far Megatron has fallen. But it doesn't last long until he's tackled by a very angry papa who snarls and nearly ripes Tarns face off. "Get away for my Bitlet!"

But it's also got me thinking, what if Megatron and his partner had both a human child and sparkling?. The human child being older about 15 and from before Megatron and his lover ended up together but he adores them. And then the very young Sparkling who's maybe 5 years old now. It's an adorable little family. Tarn finds out about Megatron's kids and successful kidnaps the Sparkling, but little does he know their older siblings are there too. And next thing he knows, he's getting swears he never would expect from either thrown at him. "My Par going to kill you," the human will state while holding their sibling. "Oh, I'm expecting Megatron to come looking for you both," Tarn states, not to that interested in what the human is saying. "It's not Papa. You have to worry about you'll be begging him to save you from Par"

But I can also see Tarn kidnapping both and then somehow returning them within an orn because they are hellspawn little mosnters. The fighting between the sparkling and child does his audials in to the point that he has to disconnect them, the constant questions. But at the end of it, he's willingly handing them back. Megatron just stands there smuggly watching, and Tarn trudges over with the two kids still arguing with each other before dumping them in Megatron's arms before turning and leaving without a work. He wants his sanctuary back. The Peaceful Tyranny to be that again, peaceful.

But also I find it highly amusing Tarn sitting there trying to feed a human baby or a sparkling and truly not knowing what to do. Having them throwing energon or baby food back up onto him. And he just stares off into the voided distance questioning why he thought this was a good idea, he has no idea who to rasie a sparkling let alone a human child.

_______

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[an-entity-i-think]

Jungle Boys and their Knowledge About Sex

Well I'm just gonna say it.

Ace and Luffy BOTH didn't know what sex was until Makino or the Bandits gave them the Birds and the Bees talk.

NEITHER of them know anything about sex besides that b&b talk until they start their respective adventures.

🚫 Um actually ace learned it from the losers he beat up at high town/people at gray terminal

INVALID - he was younger than 10 during all of those instances and was too focused on Roger nonsense. Even if he learned something it would have been raunchy and inaccurate and said in passing cause he was flighty. After Sabo they would have barely went to high town and definitely nothing in gray terminal was left

🚫 um actually Ace understood everything perfectly and never has any misunderstandings from growing up in the jungle while Luffy is Baby and didn't listen to any of it

INVALID - Makino would absolutely make sure both know sex exists. She would struggle maybe but it WOULD happen. Ace being a sex prodigy while not having a single object of his affection until 17/+ does not equal understanding of everything I fear. And Luffy is an idiot but Makino would totally say it's relevant to his adventure to make him listen to at least the basics.

🚫 Um actually they don't bother trying to explain sex to Luffy cause he's clearly asexual/Luffy doesn't understand sex because he's asexual.

INVALID: You're acephobic. Like straight up your acephobic and infantilizing him. He knows what sex is. Stop. He may not want it depending on your hc but acting like he wouldn't know anything at all while Ace knows everything is fucked up. They both were raised in the jungle. In the event that Ace DID understand more, to keep Luffy safe, Ace would definitely tell Luffy to make sure he could protect himself. Sex Trafficking and Sexual Assault exist.

🙏👀🙏👀🙏👀🙏👀🙏👀🙏

✅️ Ace learns what sex is and becomes a whore when he was Spade captain.

VALID: curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back wdyw from me

✅️ Ace blusters and acts like he knows a lot about sex but is either too nervous/guarded/oblivious to have had any after the b&b talk.

VALID: He's hot but also a loser

✅️ Ace tells Makino that the bandits gave them the sex talk and tells the bandits that Makino gave them the sex talk to get out of it. Now neither Luffy or Ace know anything about how sex works.

VALID: Could be true and also hysterical. Ace not knowing anything about sex on the whitebeard crew at age 19? More likely than you'd think.

✅️ The bandits give them the sex talk for real and due to a strange amount of euphanisms and vague terminology Luffy and Ace THINK they know what sex is but are very wrong and/or weird about it.

VALID: Could be true and also hysterical.

✅️ They both avoid the sex talk and all they know about sex is what they see in the jungle.

VALID: Majorly concerning. Good lord that's concerning.

✅️ Ace got out of the sex talk by lying/avoidance but Luffy got the sex talk.

VALID: Objectively the funniest thing ever if 17 year old Luffy is more knowledgeable about sex than 17 year old Ace. I bet Ace would try to explain sex when they met up in Alabasta and Luffys like ? I know? And Ace dies a bit on the inside cause it was just him.

Tldr; LUFFY KNOWS WHAT SEX IS. STOP BABYING HIM AND IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HIM CLUELESS YOU NEED TO MAKE ACE JUST AS CLUELESS CAUSE THEY BOTH WERE RASIED IN THE JUNGLE.

[isawas-here]

Colonels Favorite

(Ps. Sorry if the German is bad!! (I’m doing my best TvT) Sike there’s no smut that’s in the next part SORRYY!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were a new recruit that just dropped in at the base and you dedicated yourself to training hard and long hours to keep your status up. Along the way you managed to make friends with a so called team “141” and “Kortac”; they were pretty intimidating nonetheless but quite kind and reserved. One of the members who was well reserved and really shy was named “König” meaning King. While you were training with one of them member’s from 141,you caught him leaning against the wall watching you it creeped you out a little bit but you didn’t mind. Your sparring partner Gaz was throwing punches left and right,trying to knock you off your balance but you defended yourself each time knocking him down; your foot pressing his chest as he fell to the ground. “Want to give up Garrick?” You laughed a little bit sweat beading your forehead and strands of hair in your face. “Nope we still have time we aren’t over yet” he smirked kicking his leg up from behind yours and sweeping you from under him; now towering over you. “See I’m not giving up”. You searched the room seeing König once again not once leaving the spot with his eyes locked on yours but his body language was different, he looked tense. You averted your eyes as you layed down in defeat breaking hard as you trained just 2 seconds ago. You stood up and walked over to your bag crabbing hot water bottle chugging half the bottle. You didn’t really know König that well,but what you did know if he spent time with Horangi another member from KorTac. You didn’t mind making friends but were y’all gonna stay like that forever..? You walked over to him holding out your hand, “Hi I’m Y/N” the hooded man looked down at you. Jesus was he THIS tall, you felt miniature to him. He slowly rasied his hand to shake yours, “Ah yes! Ich heisse König” he sounded nervous. “Pleasure to meet you! Where are you from, I heard your accent so…” you chuckled. “I’m from Austria and you are from America no?” “Yes,yes I am!”. You looked at him before asking “Not it be rude but why were you staring me down earlier?” He looked down before laughing nervously. “Es tut mid leid I didn’t mean to come of weird…Your physique and moves are very impressive!” you became flustered saying a “thank you”. You both looked at each other for a second before one of y’all spoke up. After some time together you and the colonel spent time together talking about the battles, things to do on y’all’s free time, history and each other. What you didn’t know is the small lingering of a crush you felt for him, you had hoped he reciprocated the same way. You were going to confess to him today. You asked on if the soldiers where you could find König and they told you the directions. So here you were standing at his door almost sweating and super nervous,becuase what if he rejected you and you don’t take rejection that well. It eats you up inside. You knocked on the door and waited for a few minutes before you heard shuffling and the lock of the door turning. The door opened showing the 6’8 man who towered over you. You gulped at the sight of him. “Oh hey y/n what brings you here?” he looked at you with a expression you couldn’t quite understand because of his tactical hood. “Oh I had something I wanted to tell you, may I come in?” You could see his eyes widen. “Oh ja come on in!” He moved out of the way and you came through the door way you saw a tiny table so you sat down him on the opposite side. You cleaned your throat before talking you didn’t wanna scare him. “So König we’ve know each other for a while now and..” he was looking at you so still looking at you every movement just like in the gym when you were training that day. You got more nervous but continued anyways. “And it’s okay you don’t I’ll just live but I like you.. not in a friend way sorta of a romantic way..” you got that off your chest feeling cleared from it. You looked down at your shoes before looking him again, his eyes still remained on yours. “Uh König say something..” you chuckled nervously. “I like you too”

HELP I GOTTA RIGHT PART 2 KMS

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Jewish Song of the Day #42: Hana Mash Hu Al Yamin

Comments:

This song is a really important one, because this piece speaks about the singers' family history as Israeli Yemenite Jews:

"The songs on this album are inspired by our great grandma," Tair, the eldest sister, says. "She was traveling from Yemen to Israel as a single mom and ["Hana Mash Hu Al Yaman"] talks about her arrival in Israel. They put all the Yemenite Jews back then in transition camps or a tent camp. ... We talk about all the mixed emotions she felt."

With Bayti Fi Rasi being sung from the point of view of the sisters' great grandmother, Rachel, in 1949, Tair explains that this music upholds her legacy.

"She was a feminist before she even knew what a feminist is," Tair says. "She was so strong. Her journey was so courageous and she didn't have any help from anyone. But thanks to her, we are a generation born in Israel and our future and our present are better. We have a better life."

(per NPR)

While I would encourage you to check out the entire album, this one is perhaps the most pointed and forward.

I will likely post other favorites from them later on.

[lilrasiesworld]

Mmmmmmmm very sleeby but my hw awawawwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa T^T

[missmonsters2]

Heya, i was wondering if i could ask a question about Under the light/you found me?

I'm assuming after under the light yn started her physio again and got better since it seemed she didn't have a limp. But I was wondering if it left any permanent scars? As I was wondering after their first time having sex after the break, wanda might have asked about it while they were in bed? Or when yn was undressed at some point had her back to wanda, she noticed the scars and delicately touched them?

I'd like to think she def had yns body memorised so seeing all the new marks made her want to etch them into her mind. But she also felt guilty, not being there in her time of need (even tho yn didn't want her to see anyway).

So yeah I was just curious whether wanda talked or focused her touch of them after she made love to yn?

Under the Light || You Found Me

Hiii!! This is a mix between explaning and partially written behind the scenes!!

Yes, Reader finished her weekly physio in california and keeps up with her regular stretches and exercises to prevent her legs from getting bad. She still goes to physio monthly.

As for scars, there are definitely some on her legs. Particularly, there's one that starts mid-calf and goes up her thigh to her hip. It's completely healed over but the the scar healed as whatever lighter skin-tonned raised bump.

Reader typically never feels self-conscious about it, but the way Wanda gazes upon her skin, her fingers tracing over the scar can make Reader feel slightly uncomfortable in an insecure way.

"I love you. You're beautiful. You're mine and I'm yours." Is all Wanda ever says when she notices you're uncomfortable.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

They've talked about it a few times late at night when the world is sleeping but they're just basking in each other's presence in bed. The sheets rest just below their shoulders.

"I don't know," you say quietly. "I don't hate the scars, per se. I don't love them either. They're a reminder that I survived." The implied words that your best friend didn't hung in the silence.

Wanda nods because she feels the same way. "I understand. I feel the same way. Not because I think they're gruesome or anything. I love them because they are a reminder you survived and I'm so, so thankful. But they're also a reminder that I was a bad girlfriend—that I was a coward and neglected to notice."

You brush a stray strand of hair behind Wanda's ear.

"I think the way you look and touch them every day has more than made up for it."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

There are times when you are in a mood, one that can't quite be explained.

It's your own fault really. Sometimes you neglect your daily streches and miss your monthly physio appointments.

Your legs hurt and you're cranky, and you just don't want Wanda to know.

"Why do you insist on hiding it from me?" Wanda scowls at you.

"Why are you always in my business?" you scowl at her back.

Wanda doesn't engage further, knowing that it'll only lead down to a horrid fight with you that ends up with the two of you feeling guilty.

"Lay down on the couch," Wanda jerks her head towards the couch and walks off to grab some icy-hot lotion.

"It's fin—"

"JUST LAY DOWN!" Wanda yells from the kitchen and you purse your lips before doing as she says.

"Just lay down," you mockingly whisper to yourself as you lay on your stomach.

Wanda comes with the lotion and hovers of you. She debates taking off your shorts but decides to leave it be since they're short enough.

Once Wanda's hands start working in slow motions, massaging your calf and slowly making her way up, and the lotion slowly warming up your muslces, you relax.

It's only about 10 minutes into the massage that you turn your head and watch Wanda's focused face but her eyes filled with concern and love that guilt wracks you.

"Sorry," you mumble. "Thank you."

Wanda eyes merely moves to look at you while she continues working. She looks back at your legs, her eyes trailing the long rasied scar. "I love you. You're beautiful. You're mine and I'm yours."

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Okay, so this is something I started and I'm not sure I'll ever finish it. It's basically like a Snow White au.

Just thought I should share it here.

Sera sat at her desk in her office alone, the lights turned out. She didn't want anyone to see what she was holding in case they just happened to stumble inside. Especially Emily, sweet girl as she was, she didn't understand how to take risks for a nessacary good.

She knew that she should put it away, no one else knew where the halo was. Lute had brought it to her nearly a year ago to the day. The news of Adams death was surprsing, but not unwelcoming. He was getting to be too much to handle.

Sera figured with him out of the way, there was no one left that knew about her devine plans of getting rid of every sinner and hellborn in that unholy pit in the ground.

Instead of exterminators going toe to toe with demons, they would use long distance weapons to shoot them with holy light, making them disintegrate. No more angels would die at the hands of hell spawn and heaven could be rid of most of Hell for good. Adam had been one of the few behind her plan supporting it. Others who knew, and didn't want to be apart of it were delt with promptly.

Sera stood up and went over to her bookshelf and pulled on the only red book there. The case moved to reveal a hidden room. She walked inside, door closing behind her. With each step, a light came on show casing the items on the wall.

Halos and wings of angels that either went against her or tried to rise to over throw her, name plates above the halos.

It was recently brought to her attention that Adam had respawned in Hell as a sinner. He was staying at Lucifers daughters hotel. Seras grip on the halo threatened to snap it in half. This could ruin everything, if Adam decided to give Lucifer a heads up on what she was planning to do, the backlash would be too grand. She reached the end of the very long room, the only thing on the wall in front of her were hooks and a name plate.

Adam, it read.

Sera hung up the halo under his name and looked the remaining empty hooks.

She needed to figure out a way to get rid of Adam once and for all. Not only to secure her plans, but to fill the space for where his wings will go.

Lucifer stood in a completely white room, Adam stood a couple feet away from him. He held no expression on his face. "Adam, what's going on?"

"Will you be able to wake me up?"

"Huh? What are you talking about, you are awake."

"Promise me, you'll wake me when the time comes Luci." Adam pleaded, this was too weird.

"Adam I don't understand."

"Don't let me go to sleep." Adam produced an apple, it was red but was dripping in golden liquid. Adam rasied it to his mouth.

"Adam wait-''

The sound of the apple crunch rang out, the golden liquid glistened from Adams lips as he chewed slowly. "Won't you wake me?" Adams eyes rolled in the back of his head, he fell to the ground. The apple slipped from his hand not that far away.

Lucifer couldn't move as he watched in horror, like some invisible force kept him away. "Adam!"

"You can't save him Lucifer." Came a womans voice.

Lucifer gasped as he was startled awake. Looking around he noticed he was in his room. A dream, it was only a dream. Or a nightmare.

He looked to the sound of soft snoring coming from beside him and sighed in relief. Adam was sleeping peacefully, face relaxed and hair mused from sleep.

What the fuck was up with that dream? This was the third time he had it come to him and he was just as confused now as he was the first time.

The only thing that Lucifer could think of was maybe it was left over guilt from Eden. For having Adam bite the apple and get punished for it.

You'd think after ten thousand years it would stop bothering him.

Groaning, he flopped back in the bed and watched the sinner beside him sleep. He didn't think he'd ever date anyone again after Lilith left, especially Adam. After he respawned as a sinner in Hell they struck a deal for Adam to have his protection.

That had been nearly a year ago and some how they ended up in a relationship that started out are stress relief to one with more feelings.

Lucifer knew how he was feeling about Adam, he loved him. He hasn't told him that yet, not wanting to scare the guy off in case it was too much. Adam was very emotionally constipated and it had taken a lot to get anything out of him.

Lucifer sighed, he reached out a tucked a stray strand of hair behind the sinners ear. Maybe some day soon he could tell him, but how soon was too soon?

Adam sat as he watched Lucifer create a new duck, no detail spared. He'd find it endearing if he wasn't so fucking board.

He let his mind wander, starring at nothing in particular. Adam thought about heaven, his old home and life. For the most part, he wasn't really missing the pearly gates much these days. He no longer had to listen to Sera and her bullshit at every meeting.

His last meeting her came to mind and he could barely remember what it was she said she was going to do. Something about a weapon, maybe? Adam couldn't fucking recall. It was over a year ago he didn't give a shit.

What he did remember was that it spelled big trouble for Hell if she ever got that thing up and running. Adam knew he should probably tell Lucifer about it, but in the beginning he didn't care.

Now though, too much time has passed and nothing has happened that Adam didn't think it was worth bringing up.

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

do you. have headcanons on bill’s whole god-henry thing.

Okay okay okay

The whole idea comes from that one line in the Silver Eyes (you know the one) but I do really really like how it interesects with Henry's role in the plot and themes

Henry does make life, and William is deeply in awe and jealous of this ability.

Up until the 70s it was just a regular type of envy/repect- if particularly pronounced. Bill does a lot of the coding for the animatronics and he chose coding because it's the area Henry is weakest in and he wanted to feel better than him. But obviously Henry physically creates the structure of the robots- Bill thinks this is really impressive.

Then the Springlock accident happens around 77'. I've talked about this extensively before but, basically, Henry had to pry the suit off of Bill and Bill got really weird about it- particuarly he felt like one of Henry's machines.

So Bill makes this subconcious connection between his own being and the animatronics Henry creates and he filters this through his rasied-Catholic-brain and comes to the conclusion that Henry is literal actual God from the Bible.

Now Bill's relationship with religion is complicated as a baseline and you mix in his waring feelings about Henry and it gets weirder.

God is real and I love him but he does not love me back.

This makes the worship/resentment ping-ponging he does more extreme. This also worsens over time as he spends more time away from Henry. He turns into a memory in Bill's brain and gets boiled down to these extremes as the memory distorts.

When he sees him again in 2023 in Faz-Frights these muddled, violent feelings manifest in wanting to kill him- as they do for Bill.

Henry guarding him in the afterlife doesn't really resolve this issue at all it kinda makes it worse- Henry finally being the one to actually kill him didn't help either.

So yeah he spends literally all eternity still being really fucking weird about his buisness partner.

[moonbyulsstuff]

feel free to ignore this if you are not comfortable with this. May i ask Gun, Jihan & Hudson x female reader received sexual messages from an unknown number (like asking for their breast and butt measurements or asking nude photos) and she scared so she asked her boyfriend for help, how world they react ? Have a nice day/good night.

How They Would React When You Received A Sexual Text From An Unknown Number.

Female Reader.

Requested.

Masterlist.

Request Rules.

Hudson Ahn:

[Name] eyes widened at the text, [Name] felt incredibly disgusting at the text that she had received.

A unknown had sent [Name] a message, asking for a nude photo. And they were basically threatening her, like threatening to coming her house, and doing unspeakable things to her if her don't comply.

[Name] was basically shaking at this point, they felt like throwing up.

Hudson walked into their bed room and saw [Name] shaking while looking at their phone, he wondered on what was going on and walked towards her.

"Is something wrong [Name]?"

He called out when his eyes widened when he saw the frightened look on her face. "What happened? Is something wrong?" Hudson asked holding her shoulders.

"Hudson..." His heart ached when he saw [Name] teary eyes, he caress her face. "What is it? Did something happened? You can tell me." [Name] burst out cry8ing while handing him her phone.

Hudson looked at it before taking the phone and looking at the contents.

He swore he saw red as he saw more and more texts were being to his, HIS GIRLFRIEND, he tighten his grip on the phone before calming himself down and looking down at his terrified, crying girlfriend.

"Shh, it's going to be alright. this guy won't bother you, I'll handle it dear."

Hudson comforted her throughout until she eventually fell asleep, he pulled the covers on her and looked back at the phone.

Well, he already thought of a plan to teach this guy a lesson.

-

"Hehehe, I can't believe it."

The guy said while looking at the photo he received from the number he got, he licked his lips, as he was now in the alleyway, since the girl had asked him to meet her.

She had sent him a picture of her body, not showing her face at all but he doesn't mind. "I'm so lucky today!" He cackled as he then heard someone calling out to him.

He looked to where the voice was and saw a beautiful woman, standing by. "Are you...?" She asked while showing "her" phone and text messages, he nodded vigorously.

"It's him."

She looked to the side, confusing him but it turned to fear once he saw three intimidating guys come out.

"So... this is the guy?"

Jackie asked walking closer to the guy who was shaking. "So this is the despicable bastard..." Channing said while cracking his knuckles.

"Well, then I'll be going. You better pay me double."

The woman said as Hudson nodded and handed her [Name] home and walking away, the guy was shivering in his shoes. He didn't know what was going on.

"U-Ummm... did I do something wro- AGH!"

Channing gripped his mouth. "Oi oi, don't act like you did something wrong, you fucking bastard." Channing tightened his grip as the guy felt like he's going to gte killed.

"Let me talk to him."

"Alright."

Hudson had the guy backed up in the corner while Jackie and Channing were guarding the area, the guy gulped. "If I ever did something wrong, I'll pay you, I swe- ACCCHHH!!" The guy yelled out in pain.

"Oi, nothing you pay will ever bring my girlfriend comfort after what you did."

The guys eyes widened. "O-OH! That was your girlfriend, I didn't know, I swear!" He pleaded. "Oh, that was not my girlfriend, the owner of this phone number, IS MY GIRLFRIEND. How fucking dare you asked her for this..." Hudson said, as he was seeing red after remembering [Name] scared face.

"You are dead."

"AAAGHHHHH!"

Jihan Kwak:

"EEEWWWWW!!"

Jihan flinched when he heard the yell coming from the living room, he went back inside the house and saw his girlfriend looking at her phone with disgust, he rasied an eyebrow and walked towards her.

"What's wrong babe?" Jihan asked sitting down next to her and wrapped his arm around her, she looked at him mortified and then showed her phone to him.

JIhan eyes widened as he stood up. "What the fuck?!" He yelled out as [Name] crossed her arms and sighed. "I know right?" Jihan was basically tightening his grip on her phone.

"What the fuck is this?! Only I can have pictures of your boobs!"

"Okay, shut the fuck up and I know that. But what type of person asked someone for a boob pic?"

"Probably someone who had never luck with girls."

The two laughed as Jihan looked back at the text messages as a smirk went across his face and then looked at [Name].

"Hey, I have a plan."

-

So, the past few days. Jihan and [Name] had been texting the mysterious guy. [Name] had "teasing" the mysterious guy, not wanting to send a him... ehem, pic and will only send it after they met.

And one day, when the guy finally had enough. He asked to meet up which [Name] agrees and Jihan was ready to beat up the guy for asking his girlfriend boob photos.

Jihan opened the door and saw [Name] dressing up, he felt jealous bubbling inside of him. Seeing his precious girlfriend dressing up for some guys that he was going to beat up later, it frustrated him.

[Name] saw him frowning from the mirror, she chuckled and sat up and walked towards JIhan and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Aww, are you jealous Ji-han?" She teased as Jihan pouted and looked to the side.

"Of course, I would be."

"Don't worry, you will get a reward later."

-

Jihan watches from the wall as [Name] approached the guy, he tighten his fist and gritted his teeth as he watched the excited look on his face when he saw his girlfriend.

Then he saw the signal, and swooped in. He punch the guy in the face, causing him to fall down on the ground.

"Oi, oi. You bastard." Jihan picked him by the collar. "Did you actually think that you would get girls by this way? You sicko." He glared at him making him squeak.

He punched him in the face as he fell down back on the ground, the guy looked up and saw [Name] on top of him. She was glaring hard at him.

"Did you actually think I would enjoy this? There's no way in life that a girl would be with you, you pathetic low-life bitch."

She stood up and kicked him in the stomach and continued doing so, Jihan licked his lips after seeing how hot his girlfriend looks right now.

After [Name] felt like she was satisfied, and walked away from the guy.

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll show the text messages that you had sent me. you freak."

Gun Park:

[Name] mindlessly looked at the message that she had received about a minute ago, she sighed and stood up and went to the bed room.

Gun was sitting down on the bed while looking at the files that he had received, [Name] crawled towards him catching Gun attention. He looked up. "[Name], what is it?" He asked as [Name] showed him the contents.

He scanned through the text messages, he sighed and pulled his girlfriend closer to him and kissed her forehead. "Don't worry, I'll deal with him." [Name] nodded and snuggled against his body.

-

Grunts were heard throughout the warehouse, Gun watched in amusement, it was easy to find out the guys location thanks to Kouji after paying him a hefty amount of money.

Gun signal them to stop and they did so, Gun walked closer to the guy on the floor and kneeled down.

"I think number xxx-xxx-x98 sounds familiar right?"

The guys wondered on but he felt a dreaded feeling inside of him. "That's my girlfriend you, and how dare you send her a text, wanting a nude photo?" Gun said with glare as he gripped the guy hair.

"I'll make sure you never do that again."

-

"Gun?"

He looked up as he saw [Name] standing by the hallway, he walked up to her and hugged her tight.

"Why'd you arrive home so late?"

"Sorry, I got caught at something."

[Name] hummed and leaned against his touch. "Did you took care of it?" She asked as Gun hummed and nodded. "Of course, that guy won't bother you anymore." [Name] smiled and kissed him.

"Thank you."

[youremyheaven]

Hello :) I was reading about Venusians and I kind of feel represented by this energy, maybe not strongly but I do. I don't have any Venus nakshatra in my primary placements, and my question is: if both of my ascendant nakshatra and rasi lords are in venusian nakshatras. Does it have an effect? could it be considered "dominant" or significant in some way? because I never get examples of this. In the community, they always talk about their Big 3, and in research, they give Big 3 examples, and they almost never consider those things as significant, which makes me feel like a wannabe Venusian 😬

Okay first of all , I think we need to ask ourselves why we cling to the idea of "dominance" so much. I've never thought of myself as anything dominant because I feel the effects of my whole chart in different areas/in different ways because that's how it's supposed to be?? (as each planet represents a different area of life?). I think this concept had its origins with Claire's astro beauty research where she associated the planet/nak that had the most physical influence on a person is their "dominant" placement but I think this way of thinking is inherently flawed because as interesting as I find Claire's astro beauty research to be, I don't actually think it holds ground because every person's appearance is a sum of many influences? Anybody can nitpick some common recurring features (esp when the women depicted are mostly just white women) and say xyz nak has caused it. Traditionally different body parts and features are associated with different planets and the astrology of appearance is very much real but it's not a hyper specific science the way Claire makes it seem. It's more like "mercury rules the forehead so many mercurials tend to have bigger foreheads" etc

Anywayyyys, you don't have to be anything "dominant" to relate to some nak or planet's impact. In fact if someone feels one placement more acutely than others, it's probably because of the astrological transits they're experiencing or because they're very spiritually underevolved. I do think a point arrives in one's spiritual journey where you feel completely detached from your chart or equally proximate/distant from every placement. It is the working of the ego that makes one over identify with one placement or another as a way to classify our experiences/personalities. By transcending the ego, we'll stop caring.

I think the whole chart affects an individual not just their big 3 and I take atmakaraka/amatyakaraka/lagna lord/1h & 2h placements/conjunction/debilitated/exalted planets etc into consideration as well.

Also check your d9 chart

You can relate to Venusian energies for so many different reasons (maybe check your dasha? see if you're experiencing Venus mahadasha or antardasha??)

I don't think it's healthy to obsess over dominance and I also don't think it's healthy to want to be any planet/nak?? That's literally the ego at play. Everybody wants to be Venusian but tbh Venus is as full of pros & cons as any other planet, it's not in any way shape or form "better". You can relate to something without labelling yourself as a Venusian? If I had Saturn ak and I related to that placement a lot, I wouldn't start calling myself a Saturnian. At the end of the day, it's all energies and let's not make this an American personality test type fixation

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

I get that there are reasons people may have funded Cinderella's Castle and not Tinlightenment/why Cinderella's Castle got funded quicker than Tinlightenment, but I do not think you guys saying that understand JUST HOW BIG of a difference this was.

Cinderella's Castle fund goal was $250K, Tinlightenment fund goal was $200K and they raised $220K in total.

Tinlightenment raised their goal amount just before the final day of the kickstarter campaign, their campaign lasted a month. Cinderella's Castle got funded in a little less than 30 hours.

CINDERELLA'S CASTLE RASIED MORE MONEY IN 30 HOURS THAN TINLIGHTENMENT DID AN ENTIRE FUCKING MONTH. I can not understate how insane that is!

I have noticed in the past couple years people seem to only care about Hatchetfield, and it's okay to love Hatchetfield, I absolutely love Hatchetfield, it is my favorite of all StarCanWrecked productions, I became a fan because of Hatchetfield. But I remember during the first year of covid that there was so much love for EVERYTHING starkid, tcb and shipwrecked. But then after that first year it seems people only care for Hatchetfield.

Now I'm really so excited that so many people are excited for Cinderella's Castle, that's great!! I'm glad we are giving love to more stuff. But why are we only giving all our love to Cinderella's Castle? Why couldn't we give more love to the other productions going on? Hardly anyone talks about vhs christmas carols. Nobody talks about how the grunch cribbed Christmas. "but those are holiday things" ok sure but still hardly anyone was talking about grunch when it was actually coming out. Hardly anyone has been talk the case of the Greater Gatsby as that's been coming out and fear bc of its break even less people will talk about when it returns. In the tin can bros fandom it feels like I never see love anything except spies are forever really. The entire pulp musicals fandom seems to be just like 5 people.

I am begging fans who have seen more than just Hatchetfield to give love to more than just Hatchetfield. Please. You have seen how amazing all of this stuff we get to watch is. Go give it some love. Make some posts about it. I have some old fans/fans who have seen more than just Hatchetfield complain about fans who have just seen Hatchetfield and if you really think that then WHERE is your love for other stuff? You don't even have to make art or fanfic, you can just reblog stuff!

I am begging fans that have only seen Hatchetfield to at least TRY to watch something outside of it, you might like a lot of stuff, you just have to start with trying to find something that sounds appealing to you. You like spooky towns? Go check out wayward guide, solve it squad and headless. You just like musicals? Well starkid and tcb have many. Maybe you like short films. Maybe you like a certain franchise starkid has parodied. It is ok if you end up just liking Hatchetfield but I do think you should give other things its a try.

I know I'm probably coming off as rude and I'm sorry. And you don't have to go a show love for or watch anything outside of Hatchetfield if you don't want to. I just wish that people would. And I am frustrated that no one seems to care about 90% of the amazing stuff that has been made.

~~~

[madychi]

List of Random ROTTMNT headcanons/ rando ideas

Raph and Donnie duo! Pt.1 Because I love these two in Rottmnt and they need mire moments I-

Raph has dubbed their little duo “Jam Bros”. His thought process? Red and Purple, Cherry and Grape. Jam. Jam Bros! At first Donnie was against it, but it grew on him over time.

With Mikey wanting to be considered a big boy now, Raph has turned to calling Donnie his baby brother. Donnie would sooner die than admit he loves it.

Raph knows Donnie is very touch repulsed, and likes to be the one initiating and sort of physical contact, so he’ll orbit around Donnie and let him come to him.

Donnie, as a young turtle tot, felt safest around Raph (Raph rasied them as tots for the most part because Splinter was depresso you can pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands-) and always clung to him more than the others.

Once as turtle tots food ran out in the lair, and Splinter refused to go out for more because he had food stored away for himself. A few days in and Leo had had enough, sneaking off with Mikey to get food from the surface, leaving Raph and Donnie alone. Raph spent that time comforting a hungry delirious Donnie who was insisting Raph and the others just eat him. They did not eat him. They ate a totally not stolen pizza.

After stressful all nighters Donnie likes to sneak into Raph’s room and pancake on his bed under his stuffed animals. The calming Raph smell knocks him out. Raph knows when he enters his room and sees Donnie pancaked on his bed, the bed is no longer his. He will have to sleep on the floor. He legally can’t disturb the pancake. But occasionally he will set up his basking lamp over the bed for Don. Raph usually gets extra hugs afterwards.

Raph was once perusing the interwebs and found an alligator snapping turtle live feeding video. Out of curiosity he watched it. All was good until the owner of the turtle dropped a baby spiny softshell turtle in the tank to be eaten. Raph avoided Donnie for a week after witnessing that, until Donnie cornered him for answers. Raph broke down sobbing and saying he didn’t want to eat him. Don was confused until Raph showed him the video. Donnie rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of the situation and told Raph to open his mouth. When he did Donnie put his neck right in there, terrifying Raph. But after a few minutes he got what Don was doing. If there was really a chance he���d eat him, then he would’ve done it right then and there. It was reassuring, and a bit unnerving.

Raph once woke up to find Donnie had pancaked on top of him. He managed to text his brothers and let them know he legally couldn’t move and sent pics.

Donnie modelled his first ever battle shell after Raph’s shell. He still has it stored away somewhere.

Donnie once woke up to find Raph cuddling him. Don was no fool, he knew his fate. He messaged his brothers to let them know his tragic fate and then went right back to sleep.

Hm idea for A Raph and Donnie centric episode! (Or fanfic in my case ;3)! The duo wake up and find that they’ve been captured by the Purple Dragons and placed in a sort of Escape room type building, separated but given a communicator to talk to each other. The goal? Escape. The catch? Raph has special cuffs on that weigh him down so much he can’t punch his way to freedom. Meanwhile Donnie has a shock collar on that activates the second he tried to think his way out. So the two must work together, Raph having to rely on his brain to save the two of them while Donnie has to rely on his physical advantages.

I see a lot of angst about Donnie’s first soft shell ouchie being Raph’s fault or indirectly Raph’s fault. But like lets be real. Splinter definitely gave Raphael a long serious talk about how delicate Donnie was. Raph treated him like he was more breakable then glass. To the point where it was overbearing and Donnie was constantly smothered with protection. One day Don had enough and climbed up the onto the highest surface, the fridge, and explained to Raph that he needed to tone down on the overprotectiveness or he wouldn’t come down. Raph agreed, and Don climbed on down only to loose his grip and fall right onto his shell. Raph took back his agreement and babied Donnie until he was ten.

Pt. 2: Here