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shiloh-the-pokemon · 3 months

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Off-Screen Post

Shiloh, a Jolteon, entered the streets of Cascarrafa. They had been walking for about an hour now. They would have rather avoided a town, but they did not see another way forward. To their left were mountains, and an uphill climb seemed less than fun. To the right was the Paldean crater, and Shiloh was not sure they could get out if they went in. Going around was not an option either; on one side of the town was a desert with an active sandstorm, and the other side featured another upward climb.

Shiloh made it their goal to pass through as quickly and quietly as possible. Being a Jolteon was a blessing and a curse, it meant they could move fast, but they also stood out in a crowd of water types.

They kept to back alleys, and ducked into public parks where people had their Pokemon out already. They made it pretty far without more than a few stray glances, that is until they walked next to a pond.

"Ha! I gotcha!"

Shiloh was hit by a splash of water. Not an attack, but they ended up soaked nonetheless. They shook themself off, and looked for the culprit. Hidden in the water was a strange blue Wooper, giggling to itself.

Wait, weren't Wooper brown?

Shiloh stared at the giggling Pokemon for a bit. The Wooper laughed and swam forward a bit, "You ain't a water type are ya? You're, um, yellow! So maybe I shouldnta soaked ya.... Sorry stranger!"

Shiloh chuckled under their breath, "no biggie."

The Wooper lept out of the water and stood next to Shiloh, "You wanna be friends? I have, um, well I have 31 friends! But only 6 are not water types, cause most of the not water types don't like my sneak attack."

Shiloh laughed again, "yeah, ill be lucky number seven."

The Wooper leaped into the air, "Yes!" They skipped around Shiloh and sung, "I got a new friend, with my sneak attack!"

He paused, "Oh wait! We gotta give each other our names too. My name's Manchester but that's long so I call myself Blue cause I'm blue and Woopers ain't blue so no other Wooper can use that name!"

Blue stopped to catch his breath, before returning to his giant smile and cheery voice, "Now its your turn!"

Shiloh laid down in the grass. They really didn't like using their name, there were too many complicated feelings there. "uhhh i dont- i dont know."

Blue sat down next to them, "That's okay it took me forever to come up with Blue!" He dramatically fell onto his back, "Oooh I'm really good at names can I pick one for you? I promise it won't be super long and I'll think really good about it."

Shiloh remembered what their mom called the most important lesson in raising them. "If you wanted to talk, good. I could keep you busy for hours just nodding along to whatever you wanted to tell me."

Shiloh looked at their friend, who was looking at them expectantly. "sure. whatcha got?"

Blue looked up at the sky, "Hmmm, maybe the clouds have the answers? Clouds come in all kinds of shapes. Like that one, y'see that one?"

Blue didn't exactly have hands to point with. Shiloh nodded, "you mean the white one?"

"Yeah, that cloud! It looks like a, uh, it looks like a Squawking Billy! You've seen one, right?"

Shiloh nodded, "yeah, ive seen em."

"Yeah it looks like that! But, um, that's not a good name. Ooh, maybe that cloud! It looks like a.... A rock! Like a big rock! But you're not a rock type, I think, I don't think there's yellow rock types. Are you a rock type?"

Shiloh shook their head, "nope."

Shiloh didn't know why they stayed. They could have walked off at any point and continued on their journey. But it wasn't like they had a destination in mind. And Blue made for good company. It reminded Shiloh of themself when they were younger. When they had energy, they had it in bulk. They questioned everything, Shiloh remembered how their mom used to joke that their first word was "why". Shiloh was a strange kid. But....

Was that even them?

Did they have a childhood, really?

These were borrowed memories. Maybe their childhood, their real childhood, was in a glass tube, unable to form memories and-

"Whatcha think?"

Shiloh snapped out of their spiraling thoughts, "huh?"

Blue sat up, "Didya fall asleep on me? I didn't mean to make you sleepy!"

"no, sorry, i just- long day. er, long week." They stopped for a second, before realizing Blue would probably interrogate them on the contents of their week, "you- did you find a good cloud?"

Blue fell on their back again with a wide grin, "Yeah! Well, no. I didn't find a good cloud, I found the best cloud ever! See it? Its the tiny one up there!"

Shiloh, much to their surprise, thought they knew which cloud Blue was talking about. Though, they could have been completely off. "oh, uh, yeah. its pretty."

"Yeah! And you know what it looks like?"

Shiloh stared at that tiny cloud. It was drifting away fast. As it drifted, its shape changed. It was probably two clouds, one behind the other and both moving. The two clouds together would give the illusion of an ever-changing shape.

They squinted, trying to make out a shape before it changed, "uhhh maybe a-"

Shiloh was interrupted before they could finish, "A cloud! Whadya think? I think your name should be Cloud!"

"oh, uh.... sure, okay."

Blue abruptly stood up, "Alright! Now I got 32 whole friends and one of them is Cloud! I think we should do something fun to celebrate! 32 is a really cool number!"

Shiloh nodded, "sure. whatcha thinking?"

"Um, uh.... Oh! I got a surprise! Come on, follow me, Cloud!"

#pkmn irl #pokeblogging #pokemon irl #cheers arc

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thisisanude · 5 months

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i feel crazy i feel absolutely insane the timing is just so weird too like i don’t understand what’s happening ive never felt this weird and unsure of what to do in my relationship WELL i have in other ways but never this one this one is the weirdest TBH. like on one hand i love him and every time i see him i feel genuine love and happiness and like i want to build a future with him and i love hanging out with him and he makes me feel better. but on the other hand. we have had issues before he would get petty over things i really didn’t appreciate and part of me is like it’s my fault too cuz i can be bitchy like sometimes i talk before i think. but idk i feel like that’s the worst of me like he would get so upset at moments when he really shouldn’t have been or when a partner should be supportive. and the petty things. like the first time like 2 years ago when i said to him at a bar i look so good everyone here wants to fuck me and he was very upset and took that real not well but didn’t tell me about it till months later and that’s why he would get so petty. and this was the same instance when i found out that he was being petty to me bc also months ago i made a joke to his friend about his bong being dirty. and i don’t even remember how they fight went bc honestly it was awful i tried to push it away so bad sooooo bad and that fight was like a year and a half ago. i remember being truly hurt for the first time, like instead of trying to solve something he was being petty. it was so upsetting and i feel like that made me see him differently bc i will never feel like i got full closure. like i was saying sorry for doing those things too much and he wasn’t saying sorry for being petty enough. i do get angry tho and i don’t give in when im really mad. and then ! that was like the worst our relationship was bc i had already not been happy with him prob bc of his pettiness and distance from me in the before months so that fight was like damn i could see myself without you. but then things started to improve he was cleaning his act up and in a few more months i felt really happy in our relationship again. it’s like wow i can’t believe i ever felt upset or wanted to leave i want to be with you forever so bad this is my person this is my soulmate. and then next july which was almost a year later we had a big fight THE DAY I WASS MOVING OJT….. which if you know me my room and apartment is a very very very lot of work to move out from. and the last year he wasn’t in town so he didn’t help me but this year he was helping me. and last year i helped him move out after he left town and did a lot of work also but that don’t matter cuz it’s not like transactional but just saying im not only expecting help from him i help him as well. but i don’t even fucking remember what that was about either! crazy how bad my memory holds fights and bad memories like that altho i’m sure i was prob smoking a lot around this time which doesn’t help. i just remember being extremely angry with him and for the first time in a while thinking oh i don’t think i should be with him forever. and i honestly didn’t feel like i was fully recovered i feel like i was just like let’s fix this asap bc i needed to keep MOVING OUT and i didn’t want to be immensely stressed and upset. but i don’t even remember what the fuck he was upset about but i do remember him telling me i shouldn’t have told my BEST FRIEND about him potentially moving back home the next year and us maybe being long distance. and i was like wtf is wrong with you for being mad at going to my best friend like that’s an emotional upset thing for me and i also don’t wanna make you feel guilty for leaving by talking about it in a sad way. and he was like now she told her boyfriend (who is his dealer) and now everyone knows my business when i don’t want anyone to. like bitch what the fuck why do you care so much shut the fuck up holy shit and he was like why is it a big deal it’s not a big deal and i was like how can you say that. he’s like that’s like the same thing as you going to ur home country for

#mine #dc #love

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in-ky · 3 years

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Hi! I’d love a story about Negan being a serial killer who only kills “bad people” (like in Dexter) and maybe he saves the reader from her ex who’s about to kill her and Negan can save her and takes her in because she’s a mess but she’s actually a killer herself (who kills rapists etc/ only the bad ones) and Negan and the reader start fighting and then get caught up in steamy hot sex 🥵 thank you!

Savior - Negan Killer AU

Warnings: Warnings: GORE + violence, smut, domestic abuse, swearing, dirty talk ig? idk how to tag this lol

A/N: hey! i struggled over this one for a while lol. ive only seen like. 3? episodes of dexter so. i really hope this meets your expectations! also forgive any mistakes its late, im tired, and i wanna get this up lol. also, is negan batman? maybe. 3.7k words

"Will, stop you're hurting me!" I hissed, grabbing at his wrist. He tugged me out of the bustling restaurant and into the dark street.

"I don't really give a shit," He snarled, throwing me into a secluded alleyway a few buildings down from the restaurant. Will had taken me out to a business dinner with his boss in hopes of showing me off and making a good impression. But things didn't quite go according to plan. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!" He pushed me against the brick wall of the closed department store.

"What was I supposed to do?" I sneered, trying to wiggle away from him "He kept commenting on my body, saying how he wished he could take me home at the end of the night and do all kinds of 'unspeakable things to me'."

"You were just supposed to shut up and take it!" Will said, voice filled with rage "But no, you and your untamable fucking complex just couldn't handle a compliment. You threw your drink in his face! You're lucky he didn't fire me right then and there. You made me look like some pussy who can't control his whore."

"You're an asshole." I shouted, tears welling at the edges of my eyes. Will's face contorted further into a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" He seethed, clasping his hand tightly around my throat and constricting his fingers around my airway.

"I said you're an asshole who cares more about his dead-end career than his fucking girlfriend." I croaked. I hated him. I hated him so much. My vision clouded with the combination of disgust, loathing, and lack of oxygen, so I hit him where I knew it hurt. "There's a reason you needed me for arm candy tonight. It's 'cause you're a boring, piece-of-shit, lowlife who has no skill whatsoever. How does it feel knowing you need me to make something of yourself?" With that, he threw me to the ground by my throat. He wasted no time and pinned me to the cold concrete. His knees dug into my shoulders and his hand flew to his back pocket, whipping out the switchblade he carried as a precaution against mugging. My eyes widened as they caught a glint of the moonlight off the sharp knife. He brought the blade up to my throat and slapped me over the cheek harshly with his free hand.

"You better take back those words, bitch," He hissed, pressing the blade into the soft skin of my jugular "or they might just be your last." A dribble of blood ran down my neck with the pressure. Realization flashed through my mind. I could die right then. That could have been my last moment. Was I scared? No. Why wasn't I scared? Maybe it had to do with the shadowy figure that was slowly approaching us from the ally entrance.

There was plenty of time for me to warn Will that someone was coming. But I didn't. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched as the shadow figure pulled Will from my body with ease and tossed him to the side. Everything was kind of a blur. I was still oxygen starved and filled with a whirl-wind of emotion. I heard Will cry out in surprise and indignance. The shadow figure said nothing. It saw the switchblade with a steady line of my blood. It kicked Will in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Then it lifted up a baseball bat over its head and cracked it down over Will's skull. He continued to beat Will until he stopped squirming. The shadow figure paused and swung the bat over his shoulder. I had regained my breath and pushed myself to my elbows. The shadow noticed me moving and took a few heavy steps in my direction. I squirmed away slightly, instincts telling me to get away from the thing that had just pulverized my boyfriend. The shadow entered a stream of moonlight. It was a man. He had peppered hair and a blood-speckled face. He had dark brown eyes and a small smile perched on his lips.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He said. His voice was deep. I was partially surprised. He wasn't a bulky man. He was tall and had a broad frame, but his limbs were long and his body was lithe. He wore a leather jacket and his boots were slick with what I could only assume were Will's brains. I didn't want to look at his bat.

"W-Why did you do that?" I whispered. It was all I could muster.

"He was going to kill you." The man sounded confused, like I was supposed to know who he was and why he saved me.

"You don't know that." My voice was quiet. My eyes were glued to a spot behind the man, unblinking. He let out a throaty chuckle and dropped to a squat, leveling with me.

"Doll, he had a knife pressed to your throat," His words were gentle "Looked like he was gonna fuckin' kill you." He hesitantly reached out two fingers in the direction of my face. I didn't move. He was wearing leather gloves. The ridged fabric ran along my injuries. "Seems like he did some damage before I could step in. Damn. Sorry about that. Listen, I live a few streets down. If you want, I can get you cleaned up."

"Okay," I said softly. I let him help me up to my feet. He guided me along with one arm while holding his bat with the other. As we walked out of the alley I couldn't help but look down at Will, or what remained of him at least. His forehead was split in half, a pool of chunky blood bubbling on the ground. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to swallow the bile that had risen in my throat. And yet, I didn't feel sad. I didn't mourn him. Maybe it was shock, maybe it wasn't. "Thank you?" I murmured, though it was more of a question. The man and I stepped out onto the street and I was grateful there was no one around to see us leaving the scene of a very heinous-looking crime.

"No problem, doll," The man hummed, setting a brisk pace down the sidewalk. "The name's Negan, by the way." Cool. Negan: my Savior.

~~~

"So you're like Batman?" I asked Negan as he dabbed the blood away from my neck. He gave a short chuckle and tore away the sticky part of the band-aid.

"I guess you can say that," he mused, splaying the bandage over the cut the knife had left "but I specifically go for people that I know have hurt others. The baddies, if you will."

"Is that legal?" I tilted my head, crossing my ankles as they dangled over the bathroom counter. My palms were flat on the surface of Negan's marble sink top, fiddling with the wrappers of the medical supplies he had used to clean and bandage my small cuts and bruises.

"I haven't been caught," Negan shrugged "besides, it's less work for the police. They don't have to do any interrogation bullshit or anything. I usually catch people in the act, like tonight. Then I do my thing."

"Do you kill everyone?"

"Only the bad people," He reminded, tossing away a bloody tissue "only people who have hurt others. But, yes, usually the offender ends up on the business end of Lucille over there." He pointed out the door into the living room, where the still-bloody bat rested against a chair. I furrowed my brow.

"Well, doesn't that make you a bad guy?" I pressed. He tapped my knee and I dropped down to the tile floor, tucking my hair behind my ear and gathering some of the scraps.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you still kill people, right? Even if they're bad? So doesn't that still make you a killer?" Negan was quiet for a minute. "Let's put it this way," I continued "What would you do if you came across someone who was like you; someone who hurt the bad people. Would you still kill them. They're hurting people." Negan took a deep breath and let it out with a contemplative sigh, itching his bearded chin.

"I'm not sure," He mused "I've never really thought about it before. See, I don't consider myself a bad person per say. Yea, what I'm doing might be considered fucked up. But I'm doing it for the right reason. I'm protecting people by attacking their attackers. In the end, someone's saved." He brushed off his hands and led me out of the bathroom, flicking the light off. "Would you rather me not have saved you tonight?"

"No," I said immediately "thank you. Really, thank you. You saved my life. Will is...was...always a dick, but I never thought he'd actually hurt me. I guess that proves people can have a whole bunch of layers." Negan nodded and moved to the kitchen. He raised a bottle of whiskey as an offering. I shook my head but he poured himself a glass.

"I was just doing my job," Negan grinned sympathetically "I'm sorry your boyfriend was an asshole who tried to murder you." I shrugged, amusement in my eyes.

"Eh, it happens to everyone." I smiled as he let out another laugh. I felt as if I shouldn't be laughing, but at the same time, everyone has their own responses to almost getting stabbed to death in an alley. So I let myself have this moment. Besides, Negan was a good guy to be around. He made me feel safe, comfortable, secure. Everything I needed right now. "So, Negan, what do you do? Surely vigilante-ing can't pay well, and this apartment is really nice."

"I'm a retired baseball player," Negan said, sipping his whiskey and settling into one of the armchairs in the living room "Hence the bat."

"Were you any good?" I asked. He let out a loud scoff.

"Was I any good?" He mocked "Sweetheart, I have a whole damn trophy room. I was fucking amazing. I just got old."

"So you're rich with no real job, you kill bad guys, and you have a massive ego," I listed "You really are like Batman, aren't you?"

~~~

Negan let me stay on his couch that night. It was leather, like everything else that man seemed to own, but it was comfortable. I woke up to the smell of bacon filling the air. I groaned and rubbed my fists against my eyes, clearing them of sleep. I stretched my arms above my head in a yawn and rolled off the couch, stumbling into the kitchen. Negan was hunched over the bubbling pan, dodging pellets of grease as they shot up at him.

"Smells good!" I purred, closing my eyes and taking a deep inhale.

"Good," He grumbled "You better fucking enjoy it because I've gotten burned at least three times." I laughed and walked up to him examining the small red patches that dotted his arms.

"You didn't have to make me breakfast you know."

"Yea, but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable," He sighed, turning off the stove and scooping the cooked bacon onto a paper towel. "Besides, I was craving some bacon when I woke up. I haven't had someone to share a meal with in a while."

"Well, if you want, you can come by my house for dinner." I offered, crunching down on a piece of bacon "I've been meaning to whip out the family alfredo recipe for a while, maybe a hot date would give me that incentive." I gave him a playful wink and he chuckled.

"Sure thing, doll," He hummed, putting the pan in the sink "I love me some fucking spaghetti. I'll see you around seven?"

"Sounds good."

~~~

I ran down the sidewalk, chest heaving. There was enough darkness to cover me, but I still kept my head down to prevent recognition. I held my hands close to my stomach, praying that the blood on my fingers wouldn't drip on the pavement and leave a trail. I had been on my way home from the store when I heard some commotion coming from an alley. My first instinct was to run, but then I heard the girl crying for help. Negan came to mind, what he did, how he helped people. I couldn't turn away. I marched down the alley and saw a greasy man pinning a woman to the wall of a building. Flashbacks of the night before hit me like a train. I looked on top of the alley dumpster and saw a crowbar perched on one of the lids. I grabbed it and stormed up to the man, whacking him upside the head with the weapon. I kicked him to the side and brought the crowbar over my head before swinging it down. It connected with his face in a sickening 'thwack.' I thought of Will. I thought of what might of happened if Negan had never stopped him. I thought of all the times that bastard had gotten drunk and told me I was nothing. I let the rage bubble up and fuel my beating. By the time I was pulled back into the moment, my muscles were screaming, the woman was gone, and the man's face was unrecognizable. I tossed the crowbar into the dumpster and ran back home.

Dried blood is extremely hard to wash off. It sticks to your skin in flakes, creating a pattern of red veins crawling over your hands. Fuck. I scrubbed as hard as I could under the rushing water of the sink, pumping more and more soap into my hand. It was under my fingernails. It was stuck in my palm prints. Shit, did I leave fingerprints at the scene? Would they be coming for me? With a hiss, I rubbed even harder at my skin, small flecks of blood turning the sink water red.

Suddenly, my door opened.

"I'm ready for my s'getties!" Negan boomed with a wide smile. My head whipped around, looking at him with wide eyes. His grin faded and he crossed the room in record time, grabbing my wrists and turning the sink off. "Is this fucking blood?" He snarled, bringing my hands up to my face. I clenched my jaw and dropped my eyes to my feet. "Jesus, who's is it? Answer me!"

"I-I heard someone screaming on the way home," I said quietly, eyes still downcast "I thought I would help..." His jaw went slack and he let go of my hands, running his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus fuck, you can't just go around killing people!"

"Why not?" I snapped, eyes meeting his "You do it all the time? What's the difference? Why can't I help people?"

"Because it...Because you just can't!" Negan growled, shaking his head.

"Why are you so special?" I hissed back, drying my hands off on a towel before tossing it at him "It's not like you can get a permit for fucking murder. Why do you do it, anyways? Is it some perverted thing? Do you get off on saving people from attackers?"

"Watch yourself." Negan warned, eyes darkening.

"Pfft, or what?" I laughed, tossing my head back "What are you gonna do, kill me? I'm not afraid of you, Negan." As soon as the words left my mouth, he charged me. His hand flew to my throat, squeezing my airway lightly. His hips pressed me against the counter. I let out a small gasp when he shoved his face next to mine.

"Oh, but doll, you really fucking should be." He spat, curling his lip "I could snap your neck right here, right now." He gave a small squeeze to emphasize his words. I let out a strangled moan. We both froze. "Are you turned on right now?" He muttered, furrowing his brow. I licked my lips and squirmed in his grip, pressing my thighs together slightly in an effort to alleviate the warm pressure growing in my belly.

"No," I lied, voice weak. A sinister grin curled over the bottom half of his face and he licked his tongue over his teeth.

"And I'm the perv, huh?" He sucked on my earlobe and peppered kisses down my jawline "Sweetheart, tell me, do you want me to fuck that pretty little pussy of yours? Do you want me to make you cum harder than you ever have?" I whimpered at his dirty mouth. "Use your words, doll, or I'll leave right fucking now."

"Y-Yes!" I breathed as Negan's lips sucked on the sweet spot right beneath my ear.

"Yes, what, princess?"

"Yes, I want you to fuck me, please!" I groaned, clawing at his shirt. He let out a short chuckle, muttering something about how needy I was, but I didn't care. Right now, the only thought running through my head was that I needed Negan. I needed all of him. And damn me if I wasn't going to get it.

We clawed at each other's clothes like rabid animals. Once we were completely bare, Negan moved his kisses down my body. His large, calloused hands kneaded my breasts, twisting my nipples between his thumbs. My arms flew around his neck and I dragged my fingernails up his back. He shivered against my touch and slid his hands further down my body. They settled firmly on my hips as he captured my lips in a fervent kiss.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he grunted, pulling back for air. I looked at him. His tawny eyes were now black, pupils far beyond dilated with lust. Both of our lips were swollen and red from the intensity of our kisses. Negan's chest inflated and deflated quickly as his eyes roamed over my body. "You're so damn perfect." I smiled sheepishly and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, looking up at him through lidded eyes.

"You're not so bad yourself," I reached out my hand and used my pointer finger to draw a line from his collar bone down the center of his chest and through his navel, finally ending right over his pulsing cock. He sucked in a breath as my fingers closed around him. My thumb swept over the hot tip, gathering precum on the pad of my finger and rubbing it around.

"Shit," He hissed as I slowly pumped him "I'm not gonna fucking last if you keep doing that." He gently pried my hand away and took a step closer to me. I could feel his hardened length resting against the inside of my thigh. The thought of him being so close made a burst of heat rush down between my thighs. Negan took a long finger and ran it through my folds, collecting my wetness. I moaned as he teasingly dipped the first knuckle into me. He pulled back and let out a low whistle. "Damn, girl," he chuckled, raising his finger to my face "You're fucking dripping. Who's that for?" His slick-coated fingers glistened in the light of my apartment. I let out a deep groan as he slid them between his lips and sucked.

"You, Negan!" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist "It's all for you." A wolfish grin spread over his features as he tugged me off him and pulled me down off the counter. He spun me around and pressed gently between my shoulder blades until my chest was flat against the cold surface.

"Then if you don't mind," Negan cooed, lining himself up with my entrance "I'm going to take what belongs to me." With that, he slowly pushed into me. I gasped at the stretch, balling my hands into fists as he continued to split me open.

"Fucking shit," he groaned once he bottomed out "you're tight as hell. I bet you've never had a dick as big as mine." He pulled out slightly and I let out a moan at the growing emptiness inside. The moan soon turned to a yelp when he brought down his hand against my ass. The smack was loud and he rubbed the red spot tenderly. "Have you?"

"N-No!" I gasped when he thrusted into me for the first time "Never. Fuck, you feel so good." Negan's thrusts sped up, his hips snapping against my ass in an obscene rhythm. Grunts and moans of pleasure slipped from both of our lips as he plowed unapologetically into me. I could feel every inch of him. He was hitting every spot, dragging against my walls in a sinfully perfect way.

"You're doing so good," He purred, kissing and biting my shoulder "So good for me. You're so perfect." I tossed my head back and he grabbed my chin, tilting my face towards him so he could give me another bruising kiss. I could only keep up for so long, though, and the white bliss of pleasure he was giving me soon became overwhelming. My jaw went slack and my head dropped against the cool tile of the counter in an attempt to ground myself in the moment. "I want you to cum, doll, cum around me. Wanna feel those walls squeeze me." His thrusts were starting to become sloppy and I could tell he was getting to his end. One of his fingers danced down my spine and found its way to my clit. He circled it with just enough pressure to get me to the edge that I was so willing to jump off. "Now." Negan growled. I obeyed, feeling the band in my lower abdomen snapping violently. We reached our releases simultaneously. My walls clenched around him, milking him of every drop. I screwed my eyes shut and screamed his name, holding in a large breath as the world around me spun. Negan eventually pulled himself out and collapsed on top of me. We both were breathing heavily, sweaty bodies entangled as well as we could over a counter. I swallowed, my throat dry from panting through my orgasm. When my eyes fluttered open, I could see Negan's thumb tracing circles over the love bites that were starting to darken on my shoulders.

"Are you going to kill me?" I rasped, running a hand through my wild hair "I guess I'm a bad person now." Negan chuckled, still out of breath.

"I think I'll make an exception," He mused, pressing a sweet kiss to the shell of my ear "I don't think I'm ready to let you go just yet."

#negan x reader #negan x y/n #negan smut #negan x you #negan smith #au!negan #the walking dead #twd smut #twd negan

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crazyspookies · 2 years

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ZRS9Part1

Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well...look who’s here

it’s me!

and also

Him

Alright so there’s a lot of stuff ive been thinking about S9, some of it good some of it bad, but i told @siriusmistake (wink ;)) that i had some strong feelings about Van Ark’s presence in the plot so this post is sponsored by them and consists on me flailing about stuff lol Also this is long oops here we go

1. Van Ark is alive Reveal

If you’ve been around long enough, you’ll know i’ve always suspected this so just to get it out of the way: i knew it

Many of us did to be fair. Now let me tell you a story “fenn im not here for a history lesson” Well aren’t you.

2. A History of Belief

This is the part where i talk about all the clues and theories about Vana Ark bein alive, you can skip it if you wanna lol. Back in...S5 there was not one but TWO occasions where i thought there would be a “van ark is alive” reveal. Once, in M3 (yes i looked it up) when we infiltrate Abel the first time and there is a moment we talk to Lobatse where we go into one hut and it’s full of cryogenic freezers and i thought “that’s it, here he is”. Same happened when we infiltrated abel as a spy and Sigrid took us to see the cryofreezers.

Why did i think that? My reasoning was that 1) Unless we see someone’s body we can’t really be sure they’re not dead (hello paula, hello sarah, hello simon, hello p-, you get the gist). 2) Sure, we hit him with a rocket launcher; but then again we did too on our first day and we’re fine.

Mostly. I theorized that maybe we damaged him enough to warrant him a few years out of the game. We got told that New Canton took care of the body but, at the time, Sigrid hadn’t showed her true colors yet so it would have been easy for her to just move things around to get it for herself and put him in cryo. Then S7 gave me a red herring by making me think, for the space of a single afternoon, that there was a possibility that Sage was Van Ark. I was real on the fence with this one because i saw the flaws in my theory but also. Didn’t regeneration change Peter’s face just enough not to look immediately recognizable? Was Sage Van Ark faking a nice attitude? Seemed a bit too crazy, but also someone compared van ark, dr.tomorrow and sage together.

Still, it felt too crazy. Right? ...RIght??? And to quote myself “I don’t trust van ark to know how to even fake how to be useful and kind to society and create ways to make a better community and be sensitive to other’s emotions for as long as Sage has been doing it. He can’t be that good an actor. the part where he might be alive and got a new face is not that crazy though.” So true past me, so true. Still, we did get something juicy in S7M25-26 that gave us a clue to Van Ark being alive, besides other things. We go with Maxine to a facility where Sigrid had created some nanotech capable of nullifying the regeneration abilities, in case she needed them to take care of Van Ark. True love right there fellas. HOWEVER, the nanites were in “regeneration mode”. Hmmm well isn’t that interesting. Obviously it gives us a clue that all the above could be true. That Sigrid got Van ark’s body and tried to speed up his regeneration. Now in retrospect it has more connotations still. More on that later.

Also in S8 sam goes ahead and drops one big “well we never did see his body” so

3. He’s Alive! So what.

Amelia: quite a shoker huh! Every one of us who has been expecting him to show his ugly ass at any moment: this bitch again huh So, he’s alive. Not that much of a surprise, considering. Still, the reveal comes around and i can’t help but think that the thing i care about most is how they’re going to pull this off. Van ark being alive by itself is of not much consequence to me anymore as plot device. Bringing a big baddie back - and this is the very first Big Baddie himself- it’s a risky thing to do. Is it the right thing to do? Maybe, if done properly. Or in a way i like lol. And honestly s2s hasn’t given me a lot of confidence when it comes to handling old and sensitive character related topics in S9P1 (looking at you, sam’s-being-opened-up-without-consent-and-injected-with-another-being thing and no one batting an eye about it. Especially not Five who def has no traumatic experiences related to medical torture and being injected people in their head, no sir). So yeah, it’s a risk, and it’s an old baddie anyway, we’ve killed him once already, we know his whole shebang already, he’s old news.

Indeed, Leslie, THE DRAMA. His reappearance is important to me, for the most part, because it’s bound to unbury some very angsty, dramatic little feelings on any Abel character that’s had to deal with him before. Especially Peter. Five too but that’s headcanon territory.

I mean it’s almost fine when we were in the UK. Terrible, sure, but feels...distant enough? We suspected this might happen, we just have to go there, kill him again, deal with whatever has to be dealt with and come back. Easy peasy yeah? Five’s used to this. There’s a little knot in their stomach and kind of a guilty giddiness to get moving already. They think it might have been born out of necessity, because if you dread whatever might happen every time you go out on an (dangerous, possibly deadly, possibly traumatic) “adventure” you’re bound to end up dead. And Van Ark just feels so far away now. The closer we get to scorpion base - and to Van Ark- the tighter the knot in their stomach gets. The closer we get to him the realer it feels, the easier it is to feel old rage bubble to the surface. They look at the others and have to wonder what they feel. In the silence of the desert night they feel their fingers twitch and the scenarios where they meet him more and more real. In the silence of the desert night, the distant gidiness becomes an ugly kind of excitement, mixed with dread and anger when they think how killing him again might feel and their fingers twitch. For good this time. And, if they get to Van Ark quick enough, they can stop Peter from doing something stupid. They look at Peter, and worry. Peter who’s been wrecked by guilt for for years, Peter who’s been suicidal for years, Peter who only now, very recently, has started to want to get better, to make small steps towards doing so. Peter who has a fucking burn cube sewed on his chest. Peter who’s already died twice because of all this shit. It could help Peter move on, Five knows that. For him to see how much he’s changed, how far his come, to look at the old fucker in the face and tell him to go fuck himself. However they’d rather not risk it. They’ rather not end up in a situation where Peter feels he has no choice. He’s been doing well lately, no need for Van Ark to fuck it all that up. They look at Janine and wonder if she’s thought the same, or if she just refuses to even think it at all while dealing with her grief over Tom to even consider the scenario of losing someone else she cares about. (Might have gotten excited here didn’t expect that lol Also i did a little post about five changing classes in dnd to a Paladin while making this post and ooohhh because i went to read about paladins and about how they’re all about protecting the innocent and delivering justice, and yes that is a generally very Five thing but also found this little gem “[...] Or are you an embittered loner sworn to take vengeance on those who have done great evil, sent as an angel of death by the gods or driven by your need for revenge?“ and isn’t this DELICIOUS. Especially after all that nonsense i just wrote up there) (Also like that moment we learn that Peter has a burn cube sewed up, i swear to GOD s2s you better fucking not.).

4. Ernie

Ok So. first time we see Van Ark he’s behind a door, unconcious and hooked ona machine and Bakari tells us he’s not in charge of anything, he’s one of the experiments. Obviously the first thing that crosses my mind is both:

and

Janine said no :( She did say we had to get to the uk first and then come back deal with him but how would be even do that. Two birds one stone is what i’m saying. But then we actually meet the guy and oh boy.

5. M15-16

1) “ERNEST VAN ARK: Hello there. Hello! So thrilled to meet you. Do shake my hand. I’m Ernest, by name and by nature. [chuckles] Sorry, my little joke. Ernie Van Ark at your service… is nobody going to shake?”

By now i was real worried because...i really don’t think i’d enjoy a redemtion arc for this character. Amnesia? Not unless he goes right back to being a villain afterwards. This guy chose all the bad things he did with 0 guilt, it would rightly piss me off to see anyone forgive him just becasue “oh he’s helping now”. Not after everything that happened. It’s still a very funny scenario though dsfsdf just the abel crew infiltrating this base, scared shitless because this old nemesis is going to recognize us and welp no he doesn’t??? and he’s looking young?? and hes kinda nice???

2) “JANINE DE LUCA: You look… young.”

i wonder what that’s about. I think that this is a mix bewteen him being actually younger and also like. We’re all 8 years older. My Five was 26, now they’re 34 it’s been a long-ass time. Guillemete says he’s middle aged so he could be somthing like 45-55? I’ve always guessed him to be early 60′s in S2 so it should be a big enough difference for us to be like “WOAH he looks REALLY YOUNG” so im going to say Earnie looks to be in his early/mid 40′s.

3) “ERNEST VAN ARK: [...] when they caught wind of his immortality… well, I’m told he had a mishap with a rocket launcher.”

4) ERNEST VAN ARK: “A few scrapings from him ended up on the black market, a little pink and gray matter.Red Scorpion Base purchased them, knew they’d be useful. The cells were inert. The base kickstarted the regeneration process, got them to sort of regrow into me. Took some work, but here I am, all his intellect, none of his memories. It’s my regeneration they want to study, of course.”

Ok so this is a lot of info in one place and also puts thoughts in my head about future etc. After a year since this i’ve had time to come down from feeling kinda pissed but let me tell you, by this point both me and my Five were immenseley frustrated. For many reasons. The main one being the “i don’t know if s2s can pull this off seeing how things have gone”. The “he’s not the original and i can’t confront him the way i pictured” is frustrating but i think it can be interesting precisely because it challenges the characters expectations and introduces a different kind of tension.

From a character standpoint my Five¡s about to lose it. They’ve been on edge the whole way here and i’ts been getting worse. The recent situation with sam has left them wondering if they can feel safe around their own friends, if they should cut away from Abel, at least for a while if not longer, when all this is over. And then this guy. This guy who looks and sounds like Van ark but isn’t him in theory but has the potential to be anyway and how DARE HE NOT REMEMBER WHAT HE’S DONE.

And that’s the most fun about this situation for me if we are to keep in close contact with Ernie. All those frustrated feelings no one can properly take out on him because he’s not the original van ark so he technically hasn’t done all those terrible things but god his stupid face is right there and is bringing all of it out anyway.

And besides, he could be faking it. Ernie sounds suspiciouly like the person Van Ark was faking to be when we met him the first time (i don’t think this is the case though tbh) and I imagine Five remembers his warning right before they blew him up. ”PROFESSOR VAN ARK: [static] Runner Five, I do hope you can hear me. I’m broadcasting on a wide band of frequencies just to say – I know your face, I know your name. I do not forget, and I do not forgive. I will come and find you. When you least expect it, I am going to destroy you.”

And even if he wasn’t faking there’s other matters too. This is one of those big “people can change/nature vrs nurture/ etc kind of deals right? Sure this isn’t the original van ark, but he has been formed from the same brain. A man that chose eugenics as his core belief and did genocide, torture and murder about it. The potential for him to choose it again is always there and it makes me nervous to have him around, and leaving him at Red Scorpion Base also makes me nervous because even as an experiment, he’s dangerous. His regenerative abilities are dangerous in the wrong hands. Probably the panagea is one of the things that have been made thanks to it but you know how this kinda things goes: taking the thing and using it to make weapons and super soldiers and the like, as the Guillemete comments here:

“GUILLEMETTE FELIS: [...] Genetic material from Ernie was used to treat a life-threatening injury Henderson suffered some months ago. The results were… dramatic. Your quarry is no ordinary soldier. His endurance is enormous, but his personality, unstable. You will know what I refer to. I believe your own Sven “Psycho” Mountback was treated with a similar but less advanced treatment in Poland several years ago, leading to his current… psychological situation.”

So not the current treatments are unstable, makes you think how can Bakari be so sure the panagea works at all. Also wtf are they doing in Poland.

5) “ERNEST VAN ARK: No no, nothing like that. I always wanted to visit England. I don’t suppose you met a politician named Sigrid? I’m told we were in love. It sounds terribly romantic.”

WHY WOULD THIS BE RELEVANT SDFSDFD Earnest says that Red Scorpion Base (or their top dog i guess) got a hold of the flesh and kickstarted the regeneration process (and i have some STUFF Ive been thinking about when it comes to that), so it sounds like he’s spent whatever concious life he’s had in Red Scorpion Base mostly under supervision, probably. Make sure the investment doesn’t run away. How do you feel about that Ernie. I feel like this guy is mostly “the research here is v important and complicated and i am part of it all so im not really going to think about the fact that i am a piece of property because why would I bother” I justc an’t believe we’re not going to see more of him you know? S2S can’t just present us with this guy and then be like “ok thats all you’re going to see of him ever”, wouldn’t make sense. Also what is this research? We just get that one sentence and i’m already like hmmmm that’s weird and suspicious”.

I imagine that once he became fully concious he must have had questions about himself but it doesn’t sound like he was given too many details. “A misshap with a rocket launcher” doesn’t really tell us whether he knows he was murdered or not, but “im told we were in love it sounds terribly romantic :)” we can tell he doesn’t know Sigrid’s dead and also that whoever told him that either didn’t know the details of their relationship, or did and just didn’t tell him because why would they tbh. SOunds like he was told somethign among the lines of "You were a v smart scientist who lived in the far-away land of the uk, working towards a big cure to save humanity (that's how you got your regeneration powers!) and you and the prime minister were in love :o) And then there was an accident/some terrible spies shot you with a rocket launcher "

Also SDFSDF bless Peter for being like “im gonna kill him” right away when we come across Ernie in the greenhouse like YES THATS WHAT I WAS SAYING!! Peter your brain is huge and so very wrinkly I knew you’d be with me on that one.

I also understand Ernie calling for help, it’s the smart thing to do and i just Love the idea that from his point of view we’re obviously the bad guys. I mean he’s been told we’re spies, to hide away, and now we’re talking about killing him right in front of him sdfsdfs

I just want so badly to bully him. I want to be forced to take him with us and i want his presence to make everyone high strung and uncomfortable and terribly snipy and the whole time he has no idea why everyone hates his guts so badly. Does he even know that the zombie apocalypse was partly his fault? I bet not. I want to tell him we killed him and also his terrible fascist wife. I just think it’d be neat.

6. THEORIES

OKAY so like when i was making up theories about what could happen with Van Ark i remembered something about S7M25-26. Upon reading the transcripts i realized a couple things.

At the time, we had a wriggling hand we cut from a zombie that had bitten Peter and gotten his regeneration abilities. Veronica guided us to a water treatment plant where Sigrid kept a nanotech machine capable of nullifying Van Ark’s regeneration in case she needed to neutralize him at some point, so we set off there to see if it worked on the P-Hand and maybe even be able to use that technology to help Peter lose his so that he felt more like a person, less like a monster who can put everyone he loves i danger. Feelings that are still relevant seeing as we haven’t tried a treatment on him yet (most of the research was destroyed but i think Sage had some stuff too??, i need to check a bunch of stuff to know what happened with this whole thing exacly). And also Ernie, who is also a danger. It will be interesting to see what’s his opinion on his regeneration.

In any case, when we get there we have a terrible misshap and the hand starts growing fast as hell instead of dying.

“ VERONICA MCSHELL: It appears Sigrid’s treatments stimulated growth.”

Well. Isn¡t THAT interesting. Peviously I thought was that Van Ark's body in general might not have been extensiveley damaged, and that Sigrid had gotten it and worked to save his life. In Red Scorpion Base we are told that "A few scrapings from him ended up on the black market, a little pink and gray matter" so i thought that maybe he had been blown into pieces. But now i’m thinking that there is a couple possibilities. Veronica at some point says that sigrid threw failed experiments to an automated furnace. Makes you think.

Clones. Maybe there wasn’t enough of Van Ark’s original body to regenerate, so Sigrid started experimenting with unknown degrees of success and burnt off the failures in the furnace.

We don’t know how many failures there might have been or how many successes. I can’t imgine she’d make more that one if she succeded, but there’s no way to tell. It could be that she herself sold the kickstarted flesh to Red Scorpion Boss although I don’t really see Sigrid doing that with Van Ark though but then again, who knows lol. There’s also the possibility that someone else found the research/got a hold of the pieces of Van Ark she hadn’t used and has been selling them around, after all how did that flesh end up in the black market? It0s just flesh from a dead man, no reason for it to be there unless you know exacly what it is so whoever put it in the market knew exacly what they were selling. If there’s enough bits of van ark to go around, maybe that’s what’s going on in Poland? Who do i see taking bits of van ark, kickstarting their regeneration and selling either the flesh or even clones to the highest bidder? Could be anyone. Could be Valmont, seeing as he has plenty of contacts, could be someone new. I don’t think he’s the top dog at Red Skull base necessarily but i don’t discard it. Whoever it is they obviously recognize us and know what we’re all about and they know to be weary of us. Either our reputation in the uk has reached other countries or this is someone who has been to the uk/we’ve dealt with one-on-one.

Guess we’ll see what happens.

#zombies run #zrs9 spoilers #theorizing babaeyyy #long post #fennel's zr recaps

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abandoned-ax · 3 years

Text

I’m on the team - pt 3

Pt 1 pt 2 pt 4

Summery: the first day of training camp!!

Tw!!! scratching (self harm scratching), panic attack

It’s strange, over the week the team has been super busy, practicing and studying. I helped Tsuki with Hinata and Kageyama trying to make sure they pass there exams, Iv gotten pretty close with the two, there both really fun, and watching them both struggle with classes and Tsuki scolding them is super funny. Sadly the two didn’t pass their exams and are both super upset. I remember when we were getting our test scores back i rushed to their classroom with Yams hoping to see them both super excited only to see Hinata come out pouting, and Kageyama with this super dejected look like he was super disappointed in himself for his grades. They were assured tho that they would be able to get to the training camp just a bit late!

We’re headed to the training camp, me Tsuki and yams are all sitting together, me and Tsuki on one side and yams on the seat across the isle. I’m starting to get nervous, not knowing how other teams are going to react to me being there! They don’t even know who I am, or my situation!

“Tsuki!! What if their angry! Maybe I shouldn’t have come- or-or maybe I shouldn’t have even joined, we don’t know how people are going to react!”

“It’s going to be ok (Y/N) im sure their all nice.” Yams said with this super supportive smile

“Yeah and if anyone bothers you I’ll take care of them.” Tsuki says knocking shoulders with me giving me a small smile.

“Yeah (Y/N) don’t worry! You’ve got all of us, we won’t let anything happen!” Suga says turning around, seemingly having heard me freaking out.

I sigh starting to scratch my hands a nervous habit of mine. After a minute or two Tsuki notices grabbing my hand giving me a disapproving look. He reaches down into the backpack he brought on the bus looking for something, pulling out a stress ball and hands it to me.

The rest of the bus ride me Tsuki and Yams ended up falling asleep, I guess I tired myself out with all of my stressing.

We got to Tokyo faster then I thought, the bus ride felt way to quick! But I guess that happens when you sleep, it’s like time travel.

Getting off the bus we were greeted by some guy with crazy strange rooster hair, I quickly moved to hide behind Tsuki still scared about meeting the other guys. Daichi went over to talk to rooster head while the rest of us got our bags off the bus Tanaka and Noya pushing me and Tsuki and Yams to “walk faster” and “get more excited”.

I overhear The guy Daichi is talking to saying “ your missing a few aren’t you? Wait who’s the new kid” I move closer to Tsuki hoping his tallness will hide me, “why does the new kid look so scared of me.” all I can think about is what if they’re transphobic, what if they don’t want me here, what’s going to happen when they find out. “I’ll tell you about him in a bit.” Daichi responds giving me a concerned look. Tsuki makes a comment about annoying volleyball guys while nudging me to try and get my attention, he and Yams start bickering a little bit and Noya and Tanaka are practically bouncing off the walls and it keeps me distracted.

We were pointed towards the room we’d be staying in putting our bags down and changing. I started getting more nervous, Iv never met these people before and they don’t know my situation. What if I walk on the court and someone yells at me, what if people start asking questions, what if one of them gets super angry and starts yelling at me, what if the team decides they actually side with them! What if-

“(Y/N)” it’s Tsuki and Suga, the two are standing in front of me, Suga is holding my hands and Tsuki has a hand on my back.

“Come on let’s sit down yeah,” the two move me to go sit on a windowsill I look over their shoulders and see all the guys looking at me, I don’t know why I feel so small now, I know them all, I know their not judging me, but I still feel like the piercing stare I’m getting from them is too much. I see Asahi start moving and coming to stand next to Suga on the opposite side from Tsuki.

“Hey (Y/N) I need you to breath for me ok,” he gives me a really concerned look I hadn’t even realized I was hyperventilating, taking one of my hands from Suga and putting it on his chest taking big deep breaths so that I can feel it. “In and out, in and out.” The two words being repeated like a mantra.

Once I’m breathing slightly better Tsuki starts asking questions

“are you lightheaded?”

“Kinda”

“did you eat this morning”

“no”

“why?”

“Didn’t have time.”

“Can someone go grab a granola bar or something?” I see some movement and I think it was Noya who left to go grab something for me to eat. “Are you nervous about training camp?”

“Yes” I say quietly hoping that only he can hear

“Is it because you haven’t played a real game yet.”

I shake my head, I haven’t even thought about that fact that I’m going to be playing a real game for the first time, the only people Iv played against is the team.

“Is it because your afraid people are going to be mean about your gender?”

“I- yes,”

I see everyone look around, I guess they hadn’t thought this was really that big of a deal, but for me, this isn’t something that happens normally, while they all had the door to this space opened to them, I had to hike up a mountain to just get to the door, and I’m just scared that once I get into the space that they all see as a right, is a privilege that most people like me don’t have, it isn’t a space I’m normally supposed to be in, and once you realize my situation everyone knows it.

Suga pulls on my hands making me face him. “ it’s gunna be ok (Y/N), if anyone says anything we’ll deal with it. You’ve got the team! We’re going to make sure your ok.” Suga says with a reassuring smile.

Noya quickly gets back in the room with a granola bar and a water bottle sliding in front of me to hand them both to me. “Thanks Noya” it’s a couple more minutes that I sit there catching my breath before I give everyone a nod letting them know I’m ok, everyone starts to disperse to Finnish getting ready.

Tsuki went over to his bag giving me an extra shirt he had, just like when I first stopped wearing my binder while playing. It’s a reassuring gesture. I get changed and everyone starts leaving before Tsuki grabs my hand, holding me back for a second.

“Your gunna be ok. I promise. And if you get scared or anything just let me or Suga or Daichi know and we’ll get you off the court ok?”

“Thanks Tsuki.”

Tsuki speeds up a little bit to get to yams and Daichi slows down a bit to get back to me.

“Hey I wanted to let you know before we get in there, there might be a cupule people who know your situation, mainly Kuroo the captain of Nekoma, he’s the guy from when we first show up. And I think Kenma their setter might. Him and Kuroo are close and he’s friends with hinata, and we’ll you know hinata. Other then that I’m not sure, they might have told some others but still I can’t tell you what the rest know.”

“Thanks Daichi, um did Kuroo seem chill about it when you told him?”

“Yeah, yeah definitely, I mean he was for sure surprised but, he ended up just saying ‘oh! That’s cool’ so I don’t think you have anything to worry about there.”

“Thanks Daichi.”

“Of course kid.”

We finally all get into the gym moving to get warmed up before our first game!

—————————————————————

Let’s just say we haven’t been winning much, Coach put me into Hinatas spot so Iv been playing a lot. Honestly Iv been so stressed about my gender that I didn’t have time to stress about the fact that Iv never been in a game before. Iv gotten a few good spikes in and have been blocking a bit, but I’m by no means super good! We’ve been doing lots of flying laps.

After one of our practice games with nekoma everyone was taking a break to drink some water when some guy with bleached long hair came over to me.

“Hey.” He said kind of quietly, he seemed pretty awkward like he doesn’t do this often.

“Hey?”

“Um I just wanna let you know- i mean I’m friends with hinata and he’s told me about your situation.”

“Ah I see”

“I just wanted to let you know I’m chill with it, all of us on Nekoma are, so you’ve got nothing to worry about with us.”

“Thanks. It’s uh really reassuring to hear that. I’m (Y/N)”

“Kenma.”

“It’s nice to meet you Kenma”

“So uh how long have you been playing, it’s just we did a practice game with you guys not to long again and you weren’t there.”

“Oh yeah umm I just started playing only a few weeks ago.”

“Wow really. Your pretty good for someone who’s never played before.”

“Ha thanks, but I really have my team to thank, they got me playing and have been pretty good teachers”

“I hope one of those teachers hasn’t been Hinata I’m pretty sure most of what he says to explain volleyball is sound-effects.”

“I know right! It’s like he doesn’t know words sometimes.”

“Yeah it’s really strange but you get used to it.”

“Haha I guess eventually I’ll learn to speak his strange language!”

“Yeah!” Kind of out of nowhere the guy from this morning Kuroo I think his name was wrapped an arm around Kenmas shoulders.

“Well well what do we have here! Is Kenma actually talking to someone!”

“Shut up Kuroo”

“Hi I’m Kuroo, (Y/N) right?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s me.”

“Well it’s nice to meet the newest player.” He sends me a wink, “come on Kenma our games about to start, it was nice to meet you (Y/N)!” The two walk off headed back to the court.

It’s a little bit later in the day that Hinata and Kageyama show up! Hinata taking my spot in the game, and honestly I’m grateful, this day has been exhausting.

An: hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all liked this part!! I’m so excited to keel writing!! I take requests so if you have any please just message me!!!

#hinata shouyou #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x trans reader #haikyuu x me #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x you #tsukishima fluff #tobio kagayama #kagayama x reader #sugawara x reader #kenma x reader #kuroo x y/n #asahi x you

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mde1011 · 3 years

Text

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

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klaus-is-the-real-number-1 · 4 years

Text

I Wanna Be Adored 2 (Number 5x reader)

A/N: wowe a part 2 of my i wanna be adored fic this is also an old draft that ive finished after s1, give the first one a read x

Request: hh.. that five imagine was so soft and sweet to read, great job <3 would you ever consider doing a part two? maybe the rest of the hargreeves meeting five's s/o? feel free to skip this one. but for real, it's such a good text <33

Words: 1529

“I’m just not drinking as much coffee anymore.” He said matter-o-factly. “I used to not be able to sleep very well so I’d just drink a lot of coffee to keep myself awake but I guess I just don’t have to anymore. I’ve been sleeping really well recently when I’ve been with you.” You smile as you feel him gently press a kiss to the side of your head. You smile contently, beginning to close your eyes, his heartbeat sounding like sweet music to your ears.

“Five, do you have a girl in your room?” A distance voice was heard echoing through the academy.

“Shit.” He mumbled into your hair, you knew it was going to be a long day in the Academy.

Five looked around frantically, trying to decide what to do. He pulled you up from his bed, mischievous glint in his eyes as he moved quickly to the window, you shake your head, trying to let him know you weren’t going to jump out the window. Giving you a wink, he pulled you towards his closet just before Fives bedroom door swung open.

“Shit. They’re not in here Diego!” Five let out a quite breathy laugh, locking his eyes with yours. It was only in this moment that you realised your closeness, it’s not like you have never been as close to Five as you were in that moment but the small space in the closest emphasised it. Five could feel the sudden change in mood as well, slowly moving his hands around your waist.

In that moment you forgot about Fives two older brothers peering out the open window, you forgot about your exams, you forgot about everything except Five. The collision of your lips felt like a thousand lighting bolts between the both of you. You were both so horrifically in love with each other but neither of you could get the words out.

Klaus and Diego had came to the conclusion that Five and y/n had either climbed out the window or teleported away, that was until they heard a loud thump come from the direction of the closet. They both slowly crept forward before swinging the closet door open expecting to find their ‘younger’ brother. Klaus and Diego were met with nothing but a few toppled over books with no answer on where Five or his ‘friend’ were.

You collapsed back onto your bed in a flash of blue, giggling like school children giddy from a sugar rush. In the closet you’d both gotten too into the moment, Five pushing you against the side of the closet wall resulting in a bang.

“I would really like to meet your family, you know.” You say softly to him, settling into a state of calm. “So at least they know who you’re with rather than stress them out when they don’t know where you are.” His hair was silky to your touch.

“I know,” He let out an almost overdramatic sigh. “They’re strange, I don’t want to scare you off. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me.” You smile at his words but you were concerned, you knew all about Fives time in the apocalypse or at least as much as he would tell you, he would sometimes let something slip about the crippling loneliness or his time in the commission.

“I’ve been able to deal with your strange ass for the past year, I think I can cope.” You slightly shove him as you speak, admiring the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. “Maybe if you warn them in advance, then they won’t “scare me off’ and they’ll be slightly normal?”

He seemed to think about it, for just a split second the only thing whizzing around his fast mind was the thought of you meeting his family. Every possible situation that could occur whizzed through his head, every bad situation with every one of his siblings.

“Okay.”

A shiver ran down your body as you stood at the doors of the large mansion, waiting for the right time to knock at the door, or even just to convince yourself to do it. Every time you had been to the academy no one else was home, except for Pogo and Grace of course but they never asked too many questions, or Five just blips you into his room, you’d never knocked before.

But you knew you had to do this, for Five, so his family doesn’t worry as much. You’d even put on your best pair of jeans and best t-shirt, just to hope to make the right impression to his six sibling. So despite all of the atoms in your body screaming with anxiety not to knock on the door, you banged the knocker, you couldn’t even get a third knock in before the door swung open to reveal a nervous looking Five. His face lit up when he saw you, his eyes drifting up and down your figure.

“You look nice.” He said as he held his hand out for you to take, gently pulling you into the academy.

“I do try sometimes, you know.” You squeeze his hand as you stepped inside, hearing the chatter of his siblings from the other room. Letting go of his hand, you gently lift your bag from across you. Without missing a beat Five gently took it from your hand and hung it up.

“It’ll be fine.” Five whispered in your ear as you walked into the room, reassuringly placing his hand on the small of your back. Your face instantly got red as you got closer to his siblings, all of their eyes falling on you, some giving you kind smiles while some didn’t show any emotion at all.

“Hi,” You spoke softly to the crowd, giving a soft smile. “I’m Y/n.”

“She’s my girlfriend.” Five added, moving his hand from your back to around your waist, giving it a gentle squeeze. A series of raised eyebrows erupted around the room as they all glance at each other. The room fell silent until someone finally spoke up.

“It’s really nice to meet you, I’m Allison.”

“Klaus.”

“Luther.”

“Vanya.”

“Ben also says hello.” Klaus spoke again.

“Diego.”

“Come sit down.” Allison said warmly, moving over so there was enough room for you and Five to sit down. You gladly sat down with Five squeezing next to you, his hand still resting around your waist.

“So,” Klaus said as he crossed his legs and rested his head on his hands. “How did you both meet?”

“I work at Griddy’s in between school, Five came in a lot and we just ended up talking, this was nearly a year ago now I think.” You say nervously, you gripped both of your hands together to stop them from shaking.

The mood relaxed as you all made general chit chat, asking about your ambitions and your interests, how you’re doing at school and even a little bit about your relationship with Five. Diego however, had not muttered a single word, he just kept intently staring at you, maybe trying to read you and judge your character, or maybe he was still mad about when he last saw you.

A cold breeze drifted through the room, causing you to shiver and your bare arms get goosebumps. Five ran his hand down your arm, feeling how cold you were. “Want me to get you a hoodie?” He spoke quietly to you, you shook your head no to his question, not wanting to be a bother. “I’ll get you one, you’re freezing y/n, I’ll be back in a minute” The last part was spoke mainly to the room as he stood up and started walking to the stairs only to be gone in a flash of blue.

“Diego, I’m sorry!” You spoke quickly. “I’m sorry about how Five acted with you when you saw me last, I was the one who wanted to meet you all.” You were almost tumbling over your words as they spilled out of you. “I just thought you should know who Five is with when he’s not here, I’m super responsable and always make sure he’s safe.” When you finish your face was flushed, the anxiety crept up on you as you spoke, being unable to read Diegos face.

“I appreciate that, thank you,” He said genuinely. “We just worry about him sometimes, ya know.” You nodded to his words before Five appeared before you, he was now wearing a jacket over his own hoodie and holding one out to you which you gratefully took.

“We’re going to head off,” Five said to the room, waiting for you to pull his hoodie on before pulling you up by your hand. “I’ll be back later.”

“It was nice meeting you all!” You say, you received a series of ‘you too’s and ‘come back any times’s. You walked with Five to the door before wrapping you bag back around you and leaving the academy. Fives hand was instantly in yours as soon as you were walking down the steps and out into the street, swinging it as you both walked.

“I think that went rather well.”

#number 5 #number five #number five imagine #number five x reader #number five fluff #number 5 x reader #number 5 imagine #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #five hargreeves imagine #tua five #The Umbrella Academy

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so-cool-day6 · 4 years

Text

ok here this suggestive n kinda smutty kevin thing

i'm absolutely no real writer so i apologize in advance lol

i wanna put some warnings to b safe, again ive never done this but i wanna do my best hshhsshshh

- slight degradation

- implied rlly rough sex

- mention of hair pulling

- color system

also i proofread this a million times but knowing me there's probably a million mistakes still, sorry

Never did I expect that "Jade" wasn't Jade at all.

Never did I expect that "Jade" was Kevin Moon undercover on deobi stan twitter.

Never did I expect that Kevin Moon would find my thirst tweets so hilarious that he wanted to hear more about them.

The moment Jade accidentally said "I" instead of "Kevin" in a message, I knew something felt fishy.

But he played it off so well, I soon forgot about it.

But those things just kept happening.

Sometimes it didn't take Jade very long at all to think up how Kevin would react to something.

Sometimes the answers seemed so extremely accurate, they could only have been from Kevin himself.

And when I finally put all the many pieces together?

Oh boy. I was pissed. And immensely embarrassed.

But not near as embarrassed as I know I'm about to be in a few minutes.

I'm only a few people away from going up to the fansign table to meet The Boyz.

I wasn't gonna come. I wasn't even gonna enter. I knew it would be far too embarrassing and humiliating to see Kevin in real life after all the explicit things I said about him, inadvertently directly to him.

But when your best friend begs you to enter with her, you enter with your best friend.

And when you and your best friend both win, and she begs you to go so she isn't alone... you go so she isn't alone.

She owes me big time for this one.

Thank goodness that Kevin isn't first...

As I talk to Jacob, Chanhee, Sangyeon, and Eric, I was glad to discover that, even if he shared every conversation we ever had, Kevin at least hadn't show any of them what I looked like.

But my conversation with Eric is ending, and Kevin is smirking, telling me that he has already noticed me.

Time to die, I guess.

I say goodbye to Eric, give him a high five, and move to the next seat in front of Kevin Moon.

"Well, well, well." He smiles. "Fancy seeing you here."

I try to laugh. "Yeah..."

"Why so shy? You weren't this shy on twitter."

"Yeah, when I wasn't talking to Kevin Moon."

"Ah, but you were. You were talking to Kevin."

I simply roll my eyes in response and look down at my hands, trying to keep my face from getting too red.

"Listen, I do wanna apologize. I shouldn't have manipulated you like that."

"It's okay... I can't blame you. If I were in your position, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing. And there wasn't any real harm done, right? As long as it doesn't get out."

"Although, I must say..." His eyes darken. "I kind of liked hearing your thoughts about me. Especially in such detail." His hand lands on my thigh under the table and he feels me instantly tense up. He cracks a smile and chuckles. "I really do have an effect on you, don't I?" His voice is barely above a whisper, and his grip on my thigh tightens. "Just tell me if you want me to take my hand away and I will. Instantly. No questions asked."

"Okay." I think for a moment. Do I? Do I want him to move?

He looks at me expectantly, waiting for more of a response.

"I'll tell you if I do." I can feel my face heat up as I make my decision.

He smirks.

"I love how flustered you get." His thumbs slowly rubs the inner part of my thigh, thanks to his hand placement, and chills run up and down my back.

"Hurry up." A staff member says behind him, making sure the line doesn't get held up.

While Kevin's hand on my thigh isn't visible to the crowd, it IS visible to the staff. But they don't seem phased, nor do they seem to care.

Does Kevin have a habit of feeling up fans under the table or do they just wanna go home?

He leaves a cold spot on my leg as he pulls his hand away and quickly signs my album.

He answers the question post-it, which is actually a question from my Kevin-biased friend who couldn't try for a fansign slot, and then he flips the post-it up and writes something on the album page underneath the post-it.

"Move." The staff tells me. Kevin gives me a high five to look casual and throws me a wink as subtly as possible.

I continue on through the rest of the line, trying to keep my composure, especially when talking with Sunwoo and Changmin.

I may have said... a lot about them to Kevin.

A lot.

The fansign finally ends, and I don't remember Kevin writing something under the post-it note until the drive back to my friend's house.

"Hilton on Portico

Room 347

Should be back by 8

I'll have Q out of our room by 8:05

Hope to see you there"

No way.

No, he's kidding.

He's kidding right?

Did he just ask me to meet him in his hotel room tonight?

Why?

He doesn't want to... no.

No, that's impossible.

Why would he want to-

"Are you even listening?" My friend snaps me out of my thoughts and I quickly cover Kevin's message.

"Sorry, I spaced out... Can't stop thinking about meeting them, yknow?"

My hand raises to knock on the door, before I pull it back down.

8:06, my watch reads.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be here, right?

This is insane...

Maybe he wants to lecture me.

Maybe he wants to yell at me.

Why would he wanna yell at me after what he did at the fansign, though?

I shake my head and raise my hand to knock again.

No matter why he wants to see me at his hotel room, he wants to see me at his hotel room.

It must be important.

I carefully knock, suddenly regretting all of my life choices as I wait for him to open the door.

What if Changmin is still in the room?

What if his manager is in the room?

What if he wrote down the wrong room number?

What if he was just trying to play with me all along, and they aren't even at this hotel?

The door swings open and Kevin's face lights up.

"You came..." He sounds shocked, as if meeting Kevin Moon in his hotel room isn't a dream to many, many people. "Come in, please." He opens the door wider and steps to the side, allowing me to walk into the room. "I'm sorry it's still a mess... we have to refuse housekeeping services and I just got Changmin to leave a couple minutes ago. I didn't have a chance to tidy up for you..."

"No, no! It's no big deal, no worries. If only you saw my house, it's way worse..."

We stand in silence for a bit, both of us unsure exactly what to do next, when suddenly I gain a boost of confidence.

"Kevin, why am I here?"

He looks at me with eyes full of... I'm not sure what.

Thoughtfulness?

"I don't know. Why are you here?"

"You don't know? You're the one who told me to come." I scoffed.

"I know. But why did you come? What were you hoping would happen if you came to my hotel room? Or should I say..." His eyes darken again, just like they had at the fansign, and he steps towards me and takes my hand in his. "What are you still hoping will happen?"

All breath leaves me.

"Maybe I can jog your memory. Were you maybe hoping that I would... pull your hair and pound you from behind like you're nothing but my sorry cumslut?"

A sharp gasp involuntarily leaves my body as he boldly quotes one of the first things I ever told Jade, word for word. I can feel his ego boost by the second.

"Or maybe it was something more along the lines of..."

Kevin places his hands on my waist and pulls my body flush with his.

"Fingering you roughly until you're shaking and crying and begging for me to stop... but I don't."

Again, he quotes my own sexual fantasy to me, every word correct. Except this time it elicits a soft moan.

I can feel him hard against me, and I can't help but look away towards the floor in embarrassment.

"Look at me."

I can't bring myself to obey his command, no matter how much I want to.

"I said look at me." He grabs my chin and turns my face towards his, his eyes slowly moving away from my eyes and down to my lips.

His eyes and voice all tell me that he's having a hard time holding back, but he has to ask something first.

"Have you ever heard of the color system?"

"Yeah." I whisper, which is about the only volume I can muster up in the moment. "Like a traffic light, right?"

"Right. What color are you on right now?"

"Green."

"And what color would you be on if I kissed you?"

"Green."

That's all the approval he needs to quickly place one hand on the lower back of my head and softly press his lips into mine.

That softness does not last long, as the kiss soon turns into a quite passionate make out.

We begin to migrate, lips still together, until our legs hit the edge of the bed and Kevin pulls away from me.

"Your fantasies aren't soft. And you've got such a hold on me, I can't promise to be either. I don't wanna do anything that makes you uncomfortable, upset, or negatively helpless. I want you to use the colors. Is that okay with you?" Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier.

"I can do that."

"Don't hesitate at all to say any of the colors at any moment, if you feel you want to. Okay?" Yeah, the continuous consent checks are really sexy.

"Okay."

"Where are we at right now?"

"Green."

With that, he smirks and pushes me onto the bed, quickly crawling on top of me to reattach his lips to my own.

His beautiful hands begin to wander and feel my body. He finds my waistband and slowly slides his thumb under it.

I know he's taking it slow just in case I change my mind, which is very considerate, but it only makes me frustrated.

I push him away slightly with my hand.

"Can you hurry it up, Kev? You've had me wet since lunch." Is all i say before grabbing his shirt and pulling him back into me.

I can tell he's holding back some kind of reaction to what I just did.

His hand fully slides under my waistband, both of them, and he begins to slide his hand lower and towards the middle...

The embarrassment surrounding my encounters with Kevin are being replaced with thankfulness. Who would have thought that thirst tweets would land me in a hotel bed, getting fucked by Kevin Moon?

He's just made me cum for the third time.

First time with his mouth and fingers, then twice by railing me in two different positions.

He says yellow as he pulls out, and I nod.

We both need a breather.

He lays down next to me, both of us breathing quite heavily. I'm definitely breathing heavier, though. Curse his dancer cardiovascular health.

"So, what do you think we should-" Kevin is cut off by the sound of the door being unlocked with a key card, and his eyes go wide. He hurries to pull the blanket up over me, covering up my naked body from the view of whoever was coming in.

The fact that he doesn't care at all about his dick still hanging out loud and proud makes me wonder just how comfortable he is with all his members AND staff...

The person entering starts saying something in Korean, and all I can pick out is that he's addressing Kevin for something.

As the mystery person turns the corner and we meet eyes, both of us freeze for a moment.

Kevin scolds Ji Changmin in Korean, and Changmin responds, clearly upset at Kevin for something.

Kevin checks his phone and mutters an "oh".

"I'm sorry." Kevin turns to me. "I told Q to stay out until 10, thinking we'd be done by then... but I guess we've been having a little too much fun..."

The room reeks of awkwardness (and sex, but that's besides the point), until Changmin shyly raises his hand to wave at me.

"Hello. I'm Q."

I chuckle and wave back.

Kevin says something to Changmin. I'm unable to pick out any words to grasp at some sort of context before Changmin's eyes widen even further and he points at me, simply saying...

"Deobi?"

I nod.

Kevin's face suddenly turns devilish, and he starts talking to Changmin again.

I feel very out of the loop, but the way Changmin's face is turning beet red isn't making me optimistic as to what Kevin is saying.

"Kevin, what did you just tell him?"

Kevin keeps talking and Changmin's eyes dart back and forth from me to Kevin, and then I notice they glance down.

His grey sweatpants are not being very forgiving as to hiding his erection.

"Kevin!" I try a second time.

"What, baby? A man deserves to know what a sexy woman wants him to do to her."

I grab a pillow and throw it at him, hard, before hiding my face in the sheets.

Kevin apologizes in both English and Korean, and I hear Changmin giggle awkwardly.

Kevin says one last thing and I hear someone going through a suitcase.

I peek out from the sheets and see Changmin riffling through his bag, still replying to Kevin, before tossing something at Kevin.

Kevin thanks him, using one word of Korean I do know.

Changmin leaves, not before saying a kind goodbye to me, and Kevin turns to me.

"This might be fun, don't you think? If my memory is being kind to me, you've definitely mentioned me using one of these on you." He holds up the vibrator that Changmin threw at him.

What on earth does Changmin get up to on tour?

"Did he say anything about what you... told him?"

"He asked if you were gonna still be in town tomorrow. I sure hope you are, cause I said yes. And tomorrow it seems I'll be the one leaving the room all night... if you want to, of course."

I start getting wet again at the prospect.

"But don't think about him too much yet. I'm not done with you yet, baby." He clicks a button on the vibrator. "Green?"

"Green."

He looks at me like he's a hungry lion, before pouncing on me.

Rest time is over.

--------

THE UNGOLDY SCREECH THAT LEFT ME OMG THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN

"Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier" IT'S TRUE. I'm not okay. My mind was babble the entire time, especially when Changmin walked in 🤤 the idea of it all... beautiful 😍 is it okay if I tag this a tbz smut? I think more people deserve to read this. I'll delete the tags if you want me to!

#still screaming #submitted #🗝 anon #tbz smut #the boyz smut #kevin moon #submission #tbz reactions #the boyz reactions

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windsweptlassie · 4 years

Text

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners:

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves:

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love:

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters:

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose:

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

#on love #love files #uquiz #mine #shut up queenie #long post

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harringrovetrashrat · 4 years

Text

(We had a romcom month in Nov and y’all are gonna be subject to my bs. This one is While You Were Sleeping inspired)

Steve groaned when there was knocking.

“Tommy, for the last time, no, you can’t move in, no I’m not in black underwear, and no--” He swung the door open to a smiling Billy, one eyebrow raised teasingly. Steve flushed. “Sorry, thought you were Tommy.” He said, shoving his hands into his pajama pockets. Billy chuckled.

“Happens all the time,” he said. He stood there a moment before ducking his head and licking his lips, wry smile on his face. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, yeah!” Steve chirped, moving out of the way so Billy could enter. He moved into the living room, letting Billy follow. “Sorry,” he said with a wince, gesturing to the mess. Billy shrugged. It was quiet a moment before Billy cleared his throat and pointed at Steve’s chest.

“Deciding on ties?” He asked. Steve looked down, looked at the navy blue, dark green, and coral neckties he had on.

“Oh,” Steve chuckled, pulling them off. “Yeah, just uh, just seeing what will work. For tomorrow.” Steve stared at Billy, taking him in. Billy was looking at the clothes Steve had laid out, at the options he’d pulled out for the impromptu wedding. It made his heart clench, made his lungs feel heavy. He wanted Billy to say something. “What did--”

“I’m sorry,” he said, face set. “For all the trouble I gave you.” Steve’s words were stuck in his throat as Billy spoke. “I’m gonna be really happy to, to call you my brother in law,” he said, smiling at Steve. It didn’t reach his eyes quite right and Steve wanted him to fucking say something. Billy hummed softly and pulled a small package out of his pocket. “Oh, I got you a wedding gift,” he said.

“Yeah?” Steve’s voice was soft and Billy looked up at him through his lashes. Steve gently took the present, unwrapping it carefully.

“I saw it in the window on a job and just--”

“Billy,” Steve breathed. It was a snow globe. Nothing fancy, but it was of Florence. Steve shook it, watching the snow fall. “Billy I--”

“Anyway--”

“Tell me a reason why I shouldn’t marry Heather,” he said, cutting Billy off. “Tell me a reason and I won’t.” Billy froze, gaze sad. But, he didn’t say anything. Didn’t utter a peep. Steve gripped the snow globe tighter and smiled, nodding reflexively to the rejection, trying to push through the way it felt like his heart was breaking. “Okay. Yeah.”

“Steve,” Billy said, voice soft.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? At the--” Steve took a breath. “At the ceremony.” Billy looked like he wanted to say something, wanted to say a lot of things. But again, he didn’t. Just nodded and put his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah,” he replied, voice quiet. “Tomorrow.” Steve shut the door behind Billy as he left, leaning his forehead against it to cry. He took shuddery breaths, tried not to cry the day before his wedding, but for once, he couldn’t stop the tears.

Steve couldn’t believe he was late. Couldn’t believe he was going to be late to his own wedding. Yeah, maybe he wasn’t looking forward to it as much as he would have been a month ago, but he didn’t want to be late. He skidded into the hallway and quickly found the room where everything had been set up. Hop and Joyce were standing and talking, Murray was just sitting and watching the show, and Billy--

Billy was standing and waiting on Heather’s side. Because of course he was her Man of Honor. Steve walked in, waving. He made it halfway down the aisle before he realized he’d left his jacket on. So he ran back, put it on the hook, and walked down the aisle towards the family again.

“Finally!” Hopper boomed, smiling. “You didn’t get cold feet did you?” Steve chuckled and shook his head.

“No, no. Let’s uh, let’s do this.” Steve nodded to the rest of the family and looked at Billy. Billy looked away from him as soon as they locked eyes and Steve once more wished for a lot of things.

Music began and Steve watched Heather walk down the aisle, Hopper leading her along. They were smiling and Heather pulled her IV along, beaming at Steve. He smiled back, thinking about how she and Billy had the same dimples.

Then the priest had started to speak and Steve looked in Heather’s eyes and--

“I object,” he said quietly.

“He what?” Hopper said, leaning forward. Heather just blinked, tilting her head. The priest gave him a quizzical look.

“We haven’t gotten to that part yet,” he said.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do this,” Steve said, letting go of Heather’s hands and stepping back. “I--” He looked at the family. “I’ve been lying to you. To all of you. And I can’t go through with this when I love--” He looked at Billy, heart slamming against his ribcage. Billy stared, jaw slack.

“Billy?” Hopper groaned. “Boy, what did you do?” Billy snapped out of his shock, furrowing his brow.

“What did I do? I didn’t do anything!”

“He didn’t!” Steve cut in. Everyone fell silent again. “He didn't. This is all on me, okay? I’m not. I’ve never been Heather’s fiancee.” The family collectively blinked. “There was a miscommunication when she arrived and I didn’t correct them and then you guys came and--” He choked up a little, anxiety and regret filling him. “You were all so lovely,” he breathed out. “A big, loving family that annoyed each other and ragged on each other but still loved each other at the end of the day. I never… My parents stopped living at home when I was 13. They didn’t stay at home with me for more than a week at a time. I’ve never had real, good family in my life and…” He looked at them, all in varying degrees of shock. “I fell in love with all of you,” he said, voice soft but strong. Sure. “And I was selfish and held onto it for too long. Let this keep going when Heather doesn’t even know me.” He looks at her then, finding her smiling, even if it was sad. Steve had let go of her hands during his little speech, but he took one again. “I’m sorry,” he said to her. “It was unfair to you and-- I’m just sorry.” Steve looked at Billy, who seemed unsure if he was shocked, angry, sad, or happy. Steve understood that. “I’m sorry to you too, because somewhere along the way of falling in love with your family, I fell in love with you as well. And it wasn’t fair to… To want that when you didn’t know the truth.”

Before anyone could say anything else, the door burst open.

“I object!” A short, redheaded woman yelled from the doorway.

“Anyone else?” The priest asked, annoyed and ready to go home.

“Who are you?” Hopper demanded, brows drawn together.

“I’m Heather’s real fiancee!” She snapped, stomping down the aisle. Heather’s eyes bugged out.

“Carol? You said no!” She protested.

“Yeah, well I changed my mind--”

“What the fuck?” Joyce mumbled, pressing a dainty hand to her forehead. The family got mixed up in the commotion and Steve quickly slipped out before anyone could pay him any mind. It was easier that way. He could slip out of their lives as easily as he slipped in and let them get back to normal.

Steve scratched a line on his notepad with his pen, cheek resting on his hand. The day was slow, most people quietly bustling their way along in the cold of Chicago. He sighed, letting his head fall forward to the desk.

“Listen,” Robin said from behind him, spinning around in her chair. “It’s literally painful watching you mope. Let’s get drinks tonight or something.” Steve didn’t look over his shoulder, just shrugged.

“Not feeling it,” he mumbled. Robin sighed. She opened her mouth to say more, maybe snark some sense back into him, when she saw a group approaching. Steve still had his head down, shoulders slumped as he tried to make himself small.

It had been a long week since everything and Steve was tired. Was tired, was sad, and didn’t really want to exist. He’d been looking at plane tickets while holding Billy’s snow globe like some sort of creep for most of the week. If he imagined being able to bring Billy along, no one else needed to know. But it was the only thing he could think of to do. To take some steps to enjoy his life, even if he had to do it alone.

He really didn’t want to do it alone.

There was a clink in front of him and he grabbed the change, not looking up or even saying his customary hello. Once he had the pass printed, he slipped it back under the window and a hand quickly placed itself on top of his. Steve’s breath caught. He knew those fingers. Knew those rings. He’d memorized them.

Blue eyes were gazing down at him when he looked up, mouth opening in shock. Billy smiled at him, small and hopeful. Hopper and Joyce were doing a particularly bad job of hiding behind the pillar and watching. Murray and Max had foregone trying to hide and were just watching, smiling at the sight. Steve’s mind was racing. Were they here to tell him off? Were they mad? Were they--

“Wanna go on a trip with me, pretty boy?” Billy asked, voice gentle and loving and everything Steve had been wanting to hear for the past month. He gaped, mind working too slow to catch up. Billy looked a little nervous at his silence, obviously chewing on the inside of his lip.

“Oh my god,” Robin said as the silence dragged on too long. “He so fucking does. Please, take his moping ass on a date so I don’t have to drown him myself.”

“Robin!” Steve hissed, turning red.

“You’ve literally been depressed all week and it’s been bringing my vibe down.” Her look softened as she smirked, small and just at Steve. “Go get your man. I’ll cover for you.”

Steve could have kissed her.

Instead, he stood, shoving the door to the booth open and jumping the turnstile to cup Billy’s face and pull him into a kiss. Billy’s hands settled on his waist as he smiled against Steve’s lips. Joyce let out a Yes! that was probably louder than it should have been, but Steve didn’t care. Didn’t think about anything except the lips pressed against his. When he pulled back, Billy was smiling, bright and happy and Steve loved him.

“I’d go anywhere with you, Blue.”

#steve harrington #Billy Hargrove #harringrove #romcom au #while you were sleeping au #kinda i dunno y'all this is my hubris now #mentions of steather

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 4 years

Text

Hakuoki Kyoka-Roku Okita CG Character Perspective

*sigh* finished downloading a 1080p version of the Yuukoku no Moriarty musical with Suzuki Shogo in it (he’s the only reason why i spent points on it despite already having the 720p version haha)... but it’s got a damn logo on the blasted thing... ugh. maybe i should spend what little translating time i have (all of it is currently now being spent on yuugiroku 2) on learning how to remove those since i now have 7 videos i wanted edited... at least i know that that particular musical is on blu-ray... not that im interested in buying it lol (already splurged a bit on yuumori for my bday cuz of ch 55 and 56 [actually read the latter in CN cuz i was desperate to know what happened after 55] and im currently waiting for the blu-ray for souma-hen xD).

anyway, this has the same format as all the other char perspectives... screenshots used in this post are not mine. the only route i’ve finished in this game is still Saito’s... still have to go finish one of either Souji’s, Heisuke’s or Kazama’s route so I can unlock the Rain Conversation story opposite to the Hijikata/Saito/Harada one... then probably all of them to unlock the staying at headquarters version of it. *haaaah.*

i don’t really wanna bother myself with doing that any time soon... not that i have time for doing that right now since ive got another test tomorrow lol.

Hakuoki Kyoka-Roku Okita Character Perspective

Translation by KumoriYami

Face: You're here because you're worried about me. I won't thank you.

Face: You're saying that I look terrible? Maybe. It's because I was trying to do my best to protect you then.

Face: What’s wrong? I don't want to be stared at like that.

Hand: You're asking why I was protecting you then? What the hell for? If I heartlessly abandoned you after a kid like you came to help me, I would definitely have nightmares... If I said that, you'd get angry, right?

Katana: I'm telling you, you're a very strange person. Since you actually ran here to help me, I have to protect you, don't I?

Face: What’s wrong? Is there something stuck to my face?

Face: For you to actually take the imitative to touch me like this, have you fallen for me that much?

Face: I also want to reach out and touch you, is that okay?

Chizuru’s face: Your shy/embarrassed face is very red, it's really adorable/cute.

Chizuru’s face: It's obvious that those oni were already close by, and have unwittingly been attracted to you. Your expression from then, can you let me see it again? I won't allow you to say "no."

Chizuru’s hand: Having said that, that was a huge shock then. I thought those oni came to attack me, but I didn't expect you to actually be the one attacking [tl for the latter ‘attack’ is ‘sneak attack’. gave up trying to work that in]. These precious memories, even if you wanted me to forget them, I wouldn't be able to forget.

Hair: I have beautiful hair? Haha, thank you.

Face: What/What is it? Do you want me to tease you?

Face: You're the only one allowed to touch me like this.

Arms: You're such an incredible child. Until that day, I've never been completely honest with anyone, and you've surprisingly made it so that I feel that I can talk to you. You've unknowingly walked into my heart. You, you're really a bad child.

Chizuru: That night, the moonlight was extraordinarily beautiful. I can still clearly remember it. Because that night I vowed that I would forever stay/live with you. I will always be with you, until the very end [tl for this last part after the comma translates more to “until forever”].

Right hand: You're actually a crybaby. You’ve endured a lot. Just by looking at you, I understand that. I love you too. But, when you're with me, don't hide anything that's weighing down your heart.

Arm: Nn? What's wrong?

Arm: Do you want to be bullied by me that much?

Arm: Oi! What are you touching with your hand?!

Chizuru’s face: The scenery from that night was very beautiful then. That/This, it was the first time in my life I wanted to cherish someone. I want to always be with you/live with you forever.

Face: You've been staring at me, just what do you want me to do?

Face: When I feel the touch of your skin, I truly feel alive.

Face: The reason why I gaze at you with gentle eyes is naturally to look at you, my beloved [i think this is more: “The reason why I gaze at you with gentle eyes is naturally because you are my beloved,” or “The reason why I gaze at you with gentle eyes is because I am looking at my beloved].

Chizuru’s Hand: Your hands are very warm. When I hold your hands like this, my heart becomes full of warmth. This time [The we spend together ] makes me truly real [alive]——I love you.

Flowers: These flowers are so beautiful. You are more beautiful than these flowers. Come here and bask in the sunlight again. I've made an appointment for it.

Face: I've been listening [yes tl says listening and not thinking]. Your heart will always be mine, right? I'm glad to hear that. Why are you panicking? Was that a lie? Or did you want to take back those words? I'm not teasing you. I just wanted to hear you say that... Nn. Thank you.

Hand: You touching me like this... No, it’s nothing.

Clothes: Move a bit closer to me. I want to hold you closer.

Chizuru’s hands: Being touched by you, feels very comfortable.

Chizuru’s clothes: You smell so comfortable. Eh~ how should I put this, it's warm and gentle like sunshine. Smelling this just makes me feel happy [literally: feeling of happiness arises spontaneously.].

---

also i did get around to watching cxm okazaki-hen! didn’t understand a lot of it as expected lol.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #Hakuoki Kyoka-Roku #hakuoki game translation #Okita Souji

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insomnihan · 4 years

Text

han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Odd Eye”

youtube

oh mY F UCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

OH MY F UCKING GOD THE SONG WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS??????????? DEAD ASS?????????????? THAT BEGINNING SOUND ALONE TRIGGERED MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT AND THEN IT JUST CALMS DOWN YET MY BRAIN IS ALREADY F UCKING LOSING IT- ITS THE GUITAR ALL THROUGHOUT AND HOW I JUST HEADBANG WITH EVERY HIT OF THAT DRUM OR WHATEVER THE F UCK FOR ME- pls calm down okay i just……………………… leez…… ollounder…………… i oWE YOU MY LIFE- the way the prechorus is so FAST???????? like whaT IN THE ACTUAL F UCK the way it hypes me up with that instrumental the DRUMS GOT ME BOUNCIN AND S HIT AND GET SMACKED IN THE FACE ODD EYE I SWEAR TO GOD I FELT A NEW EMOTION AFTER THA- AFTER THIS WHOLE SONG TO BE HONEST-

THE?????????????? LINE DISTRIBUTION?????????????? IS SO SE*Y?????????????? THE IMMENSE POWER IN SIYEONS AND YOOHYEONS VOICES I CANT- ACTUAL SUA RAPPER CRUMBS idc what yall say minuscule sua rapper crumbs THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG AND DAMI LINES IS F UCKING DELICIOUS 😩😩😩 HANDONG VERSE CHORUS AND BRIDGE?????????????? DAMI BRIDGE??????????????? ‘LIVE IT UP’?????????????? BICTH IM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forgot to do this for boca so imma do it here kinda

YES YOOHYEON START THE SONG

THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG?????????????????? I CANT BREATHE??????????????????????

and ofc her ooOOOooOOO-

sua rapper crumbs idc idc-

YOOHYEON AND SIYEON BEING QUEENS OF CHORUSES AGAIN ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE GO👏OFF👏

jiu ‘no more utopia’ AND sua ‘no more utopia’ pls took me three (3) tries to type ‘utopia’

LIVE IT UP YOURE SO RIGHT QUEEN YOU BETTER RAP YOUR HEART OUT

JIU AND HANDONG CHORUS

THE F UCKING BRIDGE CHANGED MY LIFE

okay for the dance i will be using the mcountdown fancam BC I DO WANT THE F UCK I WANT 👁👁 I JUST WANNA SAY i lit rally CANNOT believe how stable they are dancing LIKE THAT™ thE POWER THEY HOLD ANYWAY as always the dance always S L A P and is literally impossible to dance to without feeling like youre absolutely f ucking d*ing and out of breath……………… LOVE THAT

THE BEGINNING EYE FORMATION ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

im delusional but lowkey deja vu clown me idc idc-

THE SUA RUNNING OUT OF THERE THE JIU THE COMPLICATED HAND STUFF

JUST👏THE👏CHOREO👏FOR👏THE👏CHORUS👏BICTH

siyeon doing this

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

putting a bullet point for just that one (1) second of dami doing That™

handong right after…………………………………

gahyeons part with the other members doing different moves my eyes liked it

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

like jiu and dami with handong ive literally watched that for five hours-

i just like the way they lined up and needed it to be linked here

THE SPIN THAT K*LLED US ALL

THE KICK THAT SENT US SIX FEET UNDER

S C R E A M……………………………………………………… Iconic™

DO YOU SEE THE BUDGET IN THE VISUALS JESUS CHRIST- the f ucking set up all of the effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of the lights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of thE GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the black and white set and theyre wearing red…………………… the red and white set and theyre wearing black…………………… that purple and green place…………………… the tree and random nature but everything is so futuristic looking…………………… dunno why yoohyeon is in a graffiti covered restroom but im LIVING for it- SIYEON SURROUNDED BY THOSE TVS DAMI IN THAT TRAIN THAT MULTICOLORED PLACE WHEREVER SUA IS EXCUSE ME- I COULD LITERALLY NAME EVERY SCENE IN THIS DAMN MUSIC VIDEO AND THEY👏ALL👏SLAP👏HARD👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

youtube

THE WHOLE F UCKING THI-

jk ill name some😊😊😊again id name everything but ill just show one i liked more than others bc this is alreADY TOO DAMN LONG-

this is self restraint btw

I FEEL THREATENED-

helL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF I CRIED????????????????????????

this is here for no reason other than bc i wanted it here-

OOP-

OOP- x2

………………………………… F-

WHY OFC I HAVE TO PUT THIS HERE

ABSOLUTELY…………………………… ABSOLUTELY

OH F CUK-

it was this or the close up shot either way it k*lled me

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

😦

OH NO-

OOP- x3

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

honestly let me just mention i really clowned and set myself up for heartbreak bc the album is only called ‘road to utopia’ but i assumed theyll find utopia bc thats how trilogies work but then this slaps me in the face- what im saying is im 🤡

T H E M

oK A Y SO THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH ALREADY LIKE GODDAMNIT COULD I JUST SHUT UP FOR TEN (10) MINUTES PLS- SO HERE ILL JUST SAY ONE (1) WORD………………………………………………

W O M E N™

plus this truly is long enough good god-

JIU

OH BICTH SHE GRABBED ME BY MY NECK RIGHT AT THE START WHEN SHE JUST POPPED UP- lemme just talk about this screenshot for a second the STREAKS IN HER HAIR and THE PIERCING???????? THE JACKET???????GOOD GOD????????? L I S T E N her outfits during the dance scenes the R E D especially jeSUS- its that red one for me im pretty sure some of yall saw me go F E R A L™ on the dashboard about it so i WILL NOT go into it again- and theN THAT DRESS A F CUKING QUEEN LOVE TO SEE IT

SUA

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO BRING UP THE VERY START WITH THAT SLOW MO- RED👏IS👏HER👏COLOR 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 the dark hime cut………………… the choker on both the red and the black is it the same one doesnt matter im d*ad……………… yo her wavy hair and that dress when it looked like she was in some hair shampoo commercial bicth i liVED FOR THAT- and theN T H I S YES THIS THAT IN THE SCREENSHOT the leather and the jacket the writing on her face i waNT HER TO BEAT ME WITH THAT LIGHT-

SIYEON

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM LITEREALLY CRYINNG

I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls breathe yes i see that orange coat with the collar and her two different colored eyes and how she is sitting in that chair i see her looking so fine in that red outfit especially near the end of the mv oh mY GOD- those pants yall bringing that style back from boca literally let me bREATHE FOR LIKE TWO (2) SECONDS

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTENLISTENLISTENLISTEN my eyes legit started tearing up when i saw her so soon in the mv yall DO NOT understand the emotions im going through to rewatch this mv again and again anD- iiiIIIIiiII CANNOT FULLY EXPRESS MYSELF BUT I JUST WANNA DIRECTLY MENTION THOSE CRYSTALS AND HER HIGH PONYTAIL SHE MADE F UCKING SURE TO SHOW OFF HOW POWERFUL SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOHYEON

YOOHYEON WITH BUNS??????????????????? THAT LIPSTICK COLOR RIGHT AT THE START???????? THAT OUTFIT WITH THE RED PLAID SKIRT????????? like when you REALLY look at the outfit the polkadot jacket and the tie makes not a lot of sense but she made it woRK!!!!!!!!! okayokayokay her lip ring and dance outfits lets talk about it to be honest its something about that chain that hangs on her torso that makes it really hit………………… but like the entire outfits HIT™ she ripped her pants didnt she

DAMI

I CANT STAND THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me why for literally one (1) second of that ‘live it up’ it snapped my neck???????? it was HARDLY A FLASH OF LIGHT YET IT WAS ENOUGH TO HURT ME- i prefer her short hair but listen the longer hair is making so many points rn- i think i said that for boca too… SHES LITERALLY SITTING YALL AND YET HERE I AM- the jacket the necklace the gloves and then that dramatic spin and the leaves OH MY GOD- DID YALL👏SEE THE WAY👏SHE KEPT👏FEELING👏HER NECK👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHYEON

GAHYEON THE WOMAN YOU ARE- i wanna start with the black hair and thee stickers look bc i wanna buT WE LOVE NOIR BY SUNMI but like i love that look like overall????????????? she literally wears the same outfit for that and this screenshot but the vibe is so different i LOVE this purple color she got going rn and that black hair IS A STATEMENT imma be more open here about it but lowkey i am genuinely missing her dark hair rn- anyway THAT DESIGN AROUND HER EYE WITH THAT RED OUTFIT BRUH DO I D*E-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

IVE NEVER BEEN SO FERAL IN MY LIFE

Wind Blows

this instrumental……………………… holy god????????????? its chill for like a second in the beginning and then it just YEETS you in- imma be real i wasnt sure about that ‘wind blows’ part i dunno why i ……… into it at first but yknow whaT THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS DAMIS RAP I SWEAR- but then the prechorus parts are so chill??????????? is it bc its handong its probably bc its handong ‘always be with you like gravity’ siyeon pls- it gives me the same energy as tension and break the wall where i feel like i jusT GAIN ALL THE STRENGTH AND CONQUER THE WORLD yes i saw the dance multiple times it k*lled me every single time

Poison Love

literally what the f uck- when i heard it in the highlight medley i knew i was gonna LOVE this like i cant stand how much i love their sexy bops like dami got me immediately ‘why do you?’ YOURE RIGHT DAMI WHY DO I- you could NEVER go wrong with lower register dreamcatcher NOTHING👏CAN👏GO👏WRONG👏 DAMI AND GAHYEON THEIR RAPS JESUS CHRIST i put my hand on my heart i was so taken aback- maybe i went back to replay it a few times when i was listening to it and then handong……………………………………………………… UH ANYWAY-

4 Memory

JIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THE HAPPY AND BOUNCY AND FUN BOP OF THE ALBUM- like ive said this to a few moots that this song just makes me happy and lifts up my mood its the little instrumental parts in the chorus for me i dunno what it is its just pleasant to my ears and then damis rap is so fun like :cccccc cute- like this is a song about the seasons and wanting to be with someone (well jiu help write this is this about like insomnias or am i a stupid clown-) like i REALLY WISH i could express how much i enjoy this song but i would just be repeating myself that its a feel good happy song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New days

DAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE i dunno how to describe the energy this song holds except ‘friendship energy’- its literally the guitar all throughout the song for me LIKE i feel like im just wrapped in a nice hug BUT NOT JUST ANY KIND OF HUG its the kind that the other person opened their jacket and theyre holding me and their jacket is around me listening to this song yall i kinda wanna cry i dunno- everyone sounds so lovely especially jiu pls her voice is so soft and DAMI OFC HER RAP GETS A HELL YEAH™ FROM ME like the ‘find you’ AND THEN AT THE END ‘FOUND YOU’ IM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (if yall cant see its the pleading puppy eyed emoji)

LIKE WHAT A WAY TO START THE F UCKING YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so in awe of everything about this as SOON AS SOON I SAY i saw the very first photo teaser and i COULDNT STOP LISTENING TO THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY AND THE TEASER WITH THE SUITS AND THE DRINKS IS STILL LIVING IN MY HEAD- alright alright ill calm down for this part but its one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS FOR👏SURE👏 like i really cant think of any criticisms regarding anything about it!!!!!!!!!!!! since im posting this after promotions are over (odd eye promotions anyway) i will just say im EXTREMELY proud of what we have accomplished as fans and what the girls have achieved during this era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hella wild all around and i am once again saying that im very happy to be an insomnia <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

and ONCE AGAIN JUST ONE (1) MORE TIME RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

IN CONCLUSION: THIS ALBUM TAKES ME TO AN ENTIRELY NEW WORLD AND IM GONNA LIVE IT UP

AND AS ALWAYS:

#(i dunno what is up with these i always end up under the weather when i need to do these 😔)#BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITHC!!!!!!!!!!#BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YALL IM STILL LOSING MY S HIT™#THE ANXIETY LEADING UP TO THE MV RELEASE WAS WORTH EVERY SECOND #NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏#EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

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blakelionheart · 3 years

Text

Hiii future self

Soooo.. the other day I was listening to the Ace Enders, a band i really like. And they have a song called ´´Bring back love´´ that starts off saying ‘’ by the year 2020 I want to look at what we did, so we can stand up all together ...blablah ‘’.

This song made me think making a sort of lettertimecapsule to my future self could be nice. i investigated and found out this site allows schedjuling a post so that it gets automatically posted whenever you tell it to even if you actually typed it a week or a month ago (mindblowinglolz). I could just put a bunch of stuff i own in a box and bury it somewhere but...nah

Im schedjuling this to be posted 10 or so years from now. 2021 ((this will remain as a private text until it does get posted as schedjuled)

<<warning>> this is gonna be long af so grab a can of sodapop if you managed to still not have diabetes ... or coffee if you didnt...

I want to take this seriously, im planning to make an effort to express myself the best i can...

i dont even know where to start. I’ll start by talking about my life at this point

It’s April 2011, I recently turned 20. . I still havent figured out what it is i wanna do with my life. i want so many things and i feel that whatever i end up choosing to do in the next months, or year evenn , will mean i have to give up on other stuff . You cant have it all in life i guess

Im having a hard time watching adulthood approach me bahaha

My life is prretty boring right now. Summarized, I mostly spend my days studying/in class, smoking pot and chatting on msn or fb. I really wish ten years from now i still stay in contact with the people Im close with right now ... Im not usually good at that. Im too passive when it comes to hitting someone up... Saying hi first to someone gives me anxiety and even if im trying to builld up the courage, people usually end up saying hi first because i took too long lol. it worries me people misinterpret it as me not wanting to talk to them, especially when i like someone and im dying to. i should work on it

Lately I lack motivation and I find myself thinking about death alot. But I have a good feeling. Things miight start to improve. and im looking forward to visiting a good friend in Arizona.

AND also because i think i might recover the friendship I had with someone whom i feel incredibly attached to ... SO YEAH. I guess sometimes 2 people are just not meant to be, thats what i’ try to make myself believe anyway so that I could understand a little beter why things suck sometimes. Maybe it was just bad tming. Maybe it’ll work ouut in the future idk lol I’m going off topic

I don’t sleep much aeither

The rest of my friends have stayed by my side as always, and i have met some cool people recently too. I constantly meet people, online and in ‘real’ life o_o.. i don’t really make a differece between ‘real’ life and online. I mean, what is REAL anyway?

It’s been a bittersweet year for now and i think i owe the people i’ve met online who’ve given me support and good memories...I owe them because I haven’t put as much effort as i should have sometimes and i feel guilty for it. i think I should compensate and move my ass and visit some ppl.

When it comes to family, I can’t say much really... I’m only close with my cousin and younger sister. I guess i’ve been a little too problematic to have a good relationship with the rest of them. I guess I can also count in Bones as my four legged son

i’m studying psychology at University of Bristol, but haven't been doing great, and I’ve been on a short international program to Spain. In Bristol I live with my housemate Charlie in a small apartment in Cotham Vale. I don’t work and I probably should. I have done some volunteering though. ive been offered money for doing stuff here and there so many times but always feel like im asking for too much, so I end up doing it for free.

I still write and play music. i recorded a song called ‘’Prettiest paint’’ back in March and it’s pretty neat. i also recorded another three but I need to work on some editing still (vaguely know you and flowers)

Speaking of music. i wanted to include this. The music i listen to nowadays I might not listen to in the future, so just to refresh my memory,,,

My favorite bands:songs are

-Saosin -ADTR: Mr.Highway Thinking about thw End/You had me at hello -Love is A Story:If we get out, let's make out/hide and seek -Ace enders: Reaction/Over this -Hellogoodbye:Would it kill you?/Getting old -ATL:circles -Mayday Parade:Black Cat -The Color Fred; Hate to see you go/Empty house -Spill Canvas: Staplegunned - Chiodos: Baby you wouldnt last a minute -Enter Shikari: Sorry you are not a winner -BlessTheFall -Pierce the veil: I’d rather die than be famous -BMTH -AskingA -Slipknot: Psychosocail .AttackAttack:Smokahontas -EatMeWhileImHot: -Scary Kids Scaring kids -The Strokes:Under Cover of the Darkness -The Beatles...and like, a bunch more...that was exhausting, what a regrettable idea but I might appreciate it laters.

I also play a lot of videogames when i have some freetime. COD especially and League of Legends

Moving onnn...

Future self, sup?

Has the world ended yet? Maybe it ends next year and this is completely pointless

Has life changed a lot ? Where do you live now ? Are you still single ? Do you still like the same person or moved on? Is Bones still alive? Do you have a job and wat is it ? Who is president now ? Any new family members? Do I still play guitar ? Are u still terrified of butterflies? do i still have the same friends or friends at all ? do i go out more often ? can cars fly already...? What do I think of my past self? ...I’m out of questions...but whatevrr happens keep on fighting back, whatever will be will be so if any answer to these questions frutstrates you/me, maybe it’s for the best and it’s just how things have to be. deal with it

I don’t really know what else to say...so, bye. See ya later

-me

ps. If anyone finds this do let me know, i might forget about it

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seijch · 4 years

Text

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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