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quibbs126 · 3 months ago

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So I finally went and drew something proper, and it’s more X stuff

I was having a lot of trouble coming up with anything to draw yesterday, and eventually I just settled on some AU drawings since At least I can draw them easily. But I wasn’t able to fully get around to it yesterday so I pretty much just ended up drawing it today

It’s pretty much just various Megatrons, that I later on ended up tying with his smiles (and the blue text which is Optimus’ opinions on them)

Honestly I don’t think the drawings are half bad, outside of maybe Optimus. When I drew him, I wasn’t really sure what to draw after making the first two, so I went with something related to the things I was making

I haven’t really made much new content on this AU because I really don’t know what to do for it. After I made my PowerPoint and saw how much I was missing, I just sort of stopped because I didn’t know how to fix the issues, and just making more characters wasn’t going to fix it

With this, I have some new ideas, but they’re really just expansions on Megatron’s character and relationships with Optimus and a bit on Kiloton too, not much lore wise

But okay, let's start. I ended up putting the opinions in the art itself, so I don't really need to reiterate them here, but these thoughts from Optimus are just supposed to show some more of how he sees Megatron, particularly in his smiles

If you were to ask Optimus what his favorite smile of Megatron's is, and you assured him Megatron would not hear any of this, he'd probably admit that he finds his crazed heat of battle smile really hot. Like it does something to him the others don't. But he also very much enjoys his softer smiles, because he likes seeing Megatron genuinely happy. So, while it is not the one that does the most for him, his soft smile is probably his favorite for the reason that it's Megatron's favorite

Moving onto Megatron, I think I mentioned something in his bio about him being aggressive off field, which I'm kind of keeping as true, but not as in a mean sort of aggressive, he's just very...okay I don't actually know what the words I'm looking for are. But in my mind, he channels a lot of Earthspark Megs, albeit not nearly as old and with significantly less war crimes

He very much enjoys sparring and fights in general, they do excite him. But he also gets self-conscious about his passion in the battlefield, because he doesn't want to be reminded of his old violent self or potentially bring it back to the surface more than he already does. That's why his smiles of genuine happiness outside of the battlefield are his favorite, because they prove to himself that he is more than a war machine pretending to be something he isn't

Also, while in the process of thinking about what to draw while out today, I was able to come up with more about Megatron and Kiloton, and specifically more surrounding the events that led to Kiloton's death

I'm thinking that Kiloton, while being a caring bot and wanting to see the best in people, had a deep hatred for the Destron Virus (oh by the way, it has a name now. I don't know if I told you before) for tearing Cybertron and its people apart by forcing bots to turn against each other. And while he doesn't necessarily blame the infected bots so much, he knows they can't help it, he despises whoever created and first spread the virus and wants them dead, as well as non-infected bots who use this solely for their own personal gain

If he was part of the Autobots, it was solely because Megatron wanted to join and because Kilo wanted to help keep him safe

And then around the time of his death, during some big mission or other, he somehow (idk how) finds himself faced with the Decepticon leader (though he might not know at the time), who reveals to him that the one who caused this virus was none other than Megatron. Now Kilo is most likely not given the full situation, namely that Megatron himself doesn't know this information or that he isn't the true root of it all, this was more likely done to get Kiloton at odds with Megatron so that they would fight, since Kilo and Megatron were very close. But Kiloton is absolutely furious at this, once he gets it confirmed that this is indeed the truth, feeling utterly betrayed by the bot he loved. He was also probably infected with the virus at this point, making his anger even more pronounced

And then the confrontation between Megatron and Kiloton happened, with Kiloton wanting Megatron dead for what he's done, and Megatron not understanding, but realizing Kilo is infected and that he'll have to fight him to protect himself, but only wanting to knock him out and detain him. Megatron also thinks this secret Kiloton is so angry at him for is that he lied about being infected, which he admits is true, though he doesn't say specifically that this was what he was admitting, and Kilo thus thinks he's admitting to his involvement with the spread of the virus

Then during the ensuing fight, in a moment of pure instinct and complete accident, Megatron shoots Kiloton fatally, leading to his death, and in Kilo's final moments, he still hates Megatron for what he did. Also in these moments, some of Kilo's final words implies to Megatron that what he was mad at him for wasn't his infection but something else, but by the time he realized, Kilo was already dead

Megatron feels horrible about his death for a multitude of reasons. First off, the obvious point of him killing his lover, that's going to put a damper on things. But it's also because Kiloton's death was entirely unnecessary; while he put up way more of a fight than anyone would have expected from him, he was not dangerous enough that death was the only option, he very easily could have just been detained. But Megatron killed him anyways. And even if it was an accident and he never meant to kill him, it made him more scared of his old self, thinking that maybe it's just in his nature to destroy, as it was his battle instincts that led to him shooting Kiloton, thus reinforcing that idea in his mind that he is nothing more than a killing machine. And on top of all that, he'll never know what it was that made Kiloton so angry with him in that battle, because he knows now that it wasn't his infection. But Kiloton's dead, so he'll never know (well he will find out the truth later, but this is his perspective after the fact)

While in current day he and Optimus are together, it took a long time and a lot of comforting and reassurance, a good chunk of it from Optimus himself, for him to get over what happened and to try and move on from Kiloton

And also with this I realize I need to expand more on Megatron and Optimus' relationship and what it means to them and why they're together

I can at least say that I don't think, provided Kiloton had lived or the circumstances around his death had never happened, that Kilton and Megatron's relationship would have lasted the way Optimus and Megatron's is supposed to

It's not that they didn't love and cherish each other, but it's the fact of the virus and Megatron's involvement in it. In the scenario where Kiloton had lived and said what he knew to the other Autobots, while he would have found out that Megatron legitimately didn't know about it, and thought he was admitting to something far lesser, he still wouldn't have entirely forgiven him for his involvement in this mess, and would probably still feel hurt at the betrayal of Megatron not telling him about his infection as well, even if it is the lesser of things. And Megatron would have been soul crushed by the revelation of his involvement as well, probably also because the bot he loves and the first to show him kindness now resents him for it all. And even if none of that happened and the truth came out to everyone at the intended time it's supposed to, Kilo would still have some resentment for Megatron in this instance. And even if Kilo eventually forgave Megatron because he genuinely didn't know and it wasn't really his fault, their relationship would never be what it once was after this

Meanwhile with Optimus, when this information gets learned, he's supposed to be there with Megatron when he finds out, knowing the entire time that Megatron didn't know. And while he'd still be hurt that Megatron didn't trust him with the knowledge of his infection, it wouldn't be relationship breaking because he knows Megatron has felt guilty about this, and he's admitted to Optimus that he has a secret that he's scared to tell Optimus of, this being it. And it kind of pales in comparison to the bombshell that just dropped on Megatron at this moment. Optimus is actually the one to try and get Megatron out of the meltdown this leads to, by assuring him that this was never his fault, and he knows that Megatron wants to be a good person and is not defined by his origins

And with that, I'm not sure I have much else I've come up with. Like I said, I need more on Megatron and Optimus, but I do at least have some things here

And I think that about wraps up all the relevant stuff I have here. Not sure what I'll draw next, hopefully AU related

I do have two sort of ideas, namely drawing them with hair because the Mega Man characters have hair and I just want to, and also making a megop kid here because it's been an idea in my head, and I want to. Granted that latter option might still need to wait until later, I think I need to make more before I get ahead of myself. So probably the hair thing then

But I want to name them Convoy, since you know, that name isn't really being used here and I can

Anyways yeah, that's about it

#oh yeah miscellaneous art things #so Megs has fangs now because why not it fits #I think the anatomy looks a bit better though it probably needs more work and I might need to retool the designs a bit more #also I think Optimus might need a face redesign I think he ends up looking too young #I don't know how old he is but I feel like he ends up looking like his early 20s which he isn't #but I don't know how I'll go about that #I've also been considering changing how I do the eyes since I don't think the half lids work as well as I want them to #idk we'll see #tbh I just hope this doesn't flop like my other recent art #transformers #transformers au #transformers x #megatron #optimus prime #megop #tf kiloton #kilomegs #I feel bad putting those here since he's not in the art #but he's kind of a big part of the description so #he also needs a redesign I think #I just need to make a good design for him #my art

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bigskydreaming · 11 months ago

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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....

And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.

The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.

And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.

Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.

HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.

But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.

That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:

His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.

Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.

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