gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)
Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:
he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament
turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter
(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)
(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)
proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)
gloats evilly
opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters
exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass
RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line
completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)
petrifies her
(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)
(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)
looks in the chest
there's no light force
considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh
uhhh
evil laugh
teleports the fuck out
He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.
None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.
(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)
Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.
i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
Everyone else has their tributes so, here, a summary of my experience with Dragon Ball.
I was in fourth grade art class. A kid had the February 2005 issue of Shonen Jump, back when Shonen Jump was still physically printed here. I recognized Atem on the front cover because the Blockbuster around the corner from our house had DVDs (I think they were DVDs and not VHSs then since I distinctly remember it having a menu and special features) of some of the later episodes of Duelist Kingdom and my brother and I watched them on repeat. So I was like oh, hey, what's this? They make books of that stuff? I don't remember the conversation but the kid ended up giving me that issue, and I took it home with me.
There were a LOT of significant, groundwork things happening in that issue, now that I think about it. We were just beginning to see Sanji truly in action against Pearl. The Dark Tournament was in it's early stages still with Roto fucking around and finding out against Kurama. Sakura shears off her hair in a move that rearranged sexualities the world over. The reason Atem was on the cover was because Yu-Gi-Oh Millennium World was just debuting its first and second chapter. Bleach wasn't even serialized yet. And Dragon Ball, of course, was also there, about a hundred and fifty chapters ahead of everybody else.
Keep in mind that this was my first experience with manga, period. So my very first experience with Dragon Ball opened on this:
and ended on this:
Yeah. Truth be told, at the time Yu Yu Hakusho piqued my interest more than Dragon Ball (a guy fighting with plants? how creative!) but I never did forget these chapters. I thought the art style was so different from the others.
At some point after this, probably between several months and a year and a half, the TV happened to be on one evening when Toonami was airing Dragon Ball Z. Oh hey, I said, I recognize that art, I know those characters. So I hung around and watched some of episode 281. Two things about watching that episode stick with absolute crystal clarity in my mind to this day. Firstly: Buu choking Vegeta out with his arm freaked me the FUCK out as a child. I could not tell you why I had a fear reaction to it but hey, there you go. The second is this:
Specifically I remember 'You died once. If anything happens to you now, you won't exist anymore. There'll be nothing I can do to bring you back.' Not precisely word for word over the years, but Schemmel's tone of voice on this particular lineread. If I had to guess I'd say it was because at that point in my life, uh, death was kinda permanent? So wait, what do you mean died ONCE. Doesn't that apply to everyone?
This still wasn't enough to get me super invested in it though, it just didn't seem like something that would appeal to me that much. So a couple years go by, I don't think about it all that much, and then of course, TFS hits the scene and drops DBZ Abridged. So you know. As a shithead middle schooler with a shithead sense of humor I thought it was the best damn thing since sliced bread. (My biggest character flaw is that I still think a lot of Season 1 is genuinely funny)
And that was really the extent of my interaction with the franchise for the next several years. Say what you will about DBZA but they did manage to put it all together such that someone who had a nonexistent concept of what the original context was could grok it with not a lot of effort. Some time in high school, I think I was around 15, I decided to bite the bullet and read all the manga, as much to increase the funny factor of DBZA as sheerly for the sake of being able to say I had. Stick it to the other weebs, y'know. Now they can't say I didn't know anything about good anime. This was unfortunately at a time when all that was available online were dirty poor-quality scans and questionable translations, but read it I did. I went 'yep, that sure is about what I expected', and proceeded to get on with my life. GT came and went, I looked up and saw Battle of Gods coming out and went 'oh hey that's still a thing huh', kinda was peripherally aware of all the divisiveness of Super as it was happening, didn't really pay it much attention, just stuck to DBZA and quite a lot of wiki-ing.
And then, this time of year about three years ago now, in the middle of conversation with @prophecydungeon, Dragon Ball somehow came up. Something to do with 'Even though I'm not hugely into DBZ's story or whatever Toriyama does have some great character designs' (yes I was referring to Vegeta and Future Trunks at the time, no i will not stop being predictable, yes i am a parody of myself). They eventually brought up the DBS Broly movie and said, and i quote: 'that was a solid 1.5h of unbelievably fun and wacky animation'. Having seen the Gogeta vs Broly part of it on twitter and been like 'damn that animation's kinda off the hook actually, good for them good for them', my response was to be like. Oh word? I've got a spare hour and a half to kill, sure, fuck it, why not, time to watch DBS Broly.
I think that movie was precision crafted to hit me in the hyperfixation, if we're being honest. Opening on a solid 20 minutes of Lore and Worldbuilding and then having most of the rest of the runtime being mindless slobberknocker fun by way of some of the hardest animation flexes ever? I was done for.
In summation. I have been aware of Dragon Ball for a lot of my life, in that its presence was pervasive and enduring as I grew up. I may have been late to the game of actually wholeheartedly enjoying it, but enjoy it I do. Dragon Ball is the roots of a vast tree of anime, and in reading it I began to understand why that is. I respect it for that, and I love it for that. My current fixation may have shifted, but as far as time devoted to one individual thing goes... it took me a year and a half to watch my way through all of the anime and read all of the manga. ALL of it. So there's something good in there, I'd say.
might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.
any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc
making mlvn out to be worse than it is will always be morally right to me if that's what brings you joy i see you and i support you. some of you are not the haters you claim to be which is disheartening
I think a lot about Wrio allowing himself to indulge and gaining some weight as a way of healing, he went hungry for a long part of his life, but now he gets to be safer, to eat his fill and go to sleep with a full tummy. I also think of Neuvillete encouraging him to do it so, cherishing his softer body and rubbing his tummy, empty or full, which is great bcs Wrio not only lived starved of food but of affection too. I LOVE WG AND STUFFING AS HEALING, AND I LOVE WRIO. I CAN HEAL HIM FR (BY FEEDING HIM)
AHSJSHUS I LOVE THIS cherishing his softer body and rubbing his tummy <3333
i feel like so many canon profile bits and exchanges with him point to him being quite an indulgent character already; slacking off work, turning up his nose at the less desirable welfare meals, strolling around fontaine's patisseries, taking little tea breaks whenever the opportunity arises. as he deserves to!
given that he's said to be seen visiting bakeries while on duty in the overworld, i like to think he has a sweetooth :3 perhaps neuvillette often brings him pastries and cakes as gifts whenever he visits during work hours. he invites him to furina's famous tea parties whenever the chance makes itself available (one of which is sure to be hosted each time the warden has official business to discuss in the court of fontaine, no matter how trivial.) he is always delighted to see him treat himself, and wriothesley is just as happy to satisfy his sweet tooth on such a decadent feast; not only did he never think he would have the opportunity to live so luxuriously, but also because now he believes he deserves to do so, no longer holding back from his desires out of guilt and little self worth.
not only does he give in to his newfound large appetite, but neuvillette rather likes to indulge him too. he brings him out to restaurants and orders fine foods and wines - a gloved finger pointing out the dishes on the menu as he orders for the both of them. at furina's tea parties, he offers him another slice of cake or suggests which desserts to try next, even as wriothesley places a hand on the swell of his quickly filling stomach.
"kouign-amann pair quite well with ginger tea. i must say this batch has been baked long to perfection," he muses, delicately pushing a plate across the table to wriothesley, who is still making his way through the gâteau he insisted he try. "though if you are drinking something sweeter, i would suggest a few canelés, or this pear tarte tatin. what do you think, furina?"
"the red wine caramel is exquisite, wriothesley."
"these macarons from lucerne's, though, are truly delectable. they are still light and crisp from this morning."
"let me breathe first." wriothesley swallows, smiling fondly at his enthusiasm to see him eat well. (and, really, breathing may become slightly more challenging if he continues on like this.) "i haven't even finished the last few you so kindly bestowed upon me."
and ohhh the belly rubs,,, !!!!!!!
ofc i believe wriothesley is so weak for having his tummy rubbed in the first place - neuvillette's warm hands are the perfect balance of heavy and firm but gentle, and just feel so inexplicably nice - so when the deep circles he rubs into his belly are accompanied by the pleasurable feeling of being full of baked treats or a yummy dinner, he quite positively ascends to heaven. and when his lavish lifestyle inevitably fills him out and he amasses a few extra inches on his waistline, the iudex's hands on his newly senistive tummy send him out of this world entirely. falling asleep is a difficult thing for wriothesley, but under these circumstances - whether neuvillette is settling a meal in his stomach or simply providing affectionate rubs - he feels safe and cared for in his arms, and despite fighting it, sleep takes over him and he's snoring lightly into his boyfriend's shoulder. indulging is a fun little hobby, but having somebody to indulge with - somebody to pamper you - is much preferable.
(also consider - tummy kisses. neuvillette is absolutely over the moon when the soft cushioning of wriothesley's tummy means he can easily take it between his teeth, trailing little love bites over the gentle curve of his belly. or simply just pressing his lips to his warm middle in soft, adoring kisses, much to wriothesley's blissful delight.)
guy trapped in a hell of his own creation: haha ive never done anything wrong in my entire life. and im always right:] anyway. why did my little brother move out:(
its so funny to me that at first glance tashi seems like hed be the most 'normal' out of all the clones but at least all the others are slowly healing n shit while hes just getting more and more insane each day and one day hell snap and explode and maim someone
holyfrick. wait. kaveh. he's kinda so relatable to me
i didnt expect his character stories to hit so hard 😭 i get the feeling that they really put in the effort to weave his viewpoints and why they both work and fall apart. I feel like he's also the dev's take on art in an increasingly capitalistic environment + artblock... its all so wordy and poetic i kinda love him.
more of my faves from his lore:
A person who wished to ascend to the garden of heaven upon steps made of thin air would inevitably plant their feet on an empty stair and fall to their death. As a genius, Kaveh longed to belong in a crowd, subconsciously fearing separation from it — this was the difference between him and Alhaitham.
People should not give up, for even if they are doing good in an attempt to make up for something, the results will still have meaning for some. Even if he could not enter that promised land of his ideals, that did not mean the radiance and the attraction of such a realm should be denied.
Page 31: Some academic notes and architectural drawings. Postscript: "Our views are aligned, and they are complete." This line has been struck out.
"Our views are contradictory, but it is through contradiction that more speculation and philosophy may be born." This line has been retained.
everyone accusing black sails fans of Being Rude In The Notes owes me $10 for making me look in the notes (like. What. WHERE) and $10 more for subsequently making me witness the Stede fans also being unhinged petty assholes but it doesnt count when they do it, i guess?
at this point im saltier about Black Sails fans being repeatedly being called assholes but ofmd fans Not being called out for probably the same behavior or worse? and with what feels like very little. evidence? god damn