#Sadly i only got to know of that post because neil gaiman liked it

[daphnasworld]

someone is really posting a real long text about how they were in a pro palestinian demonstration and where fished by nazis only to go on how you have to be careful as anyone is vulnerable towards propaganda and that antisemitism is wrong while at the same time literaly writing:

"They started talking about "Zionist" propaganda in the US, about how it was deeply entrenched in capitalism. Things that, on the surface, seemed reasonable but it set off alarm bells in my head."

Excuse me, but if you are talking about Zionist "propaganda" in connection with capitalism and say that it sounds reasonable, than you are in fact antisemitic. Point blank. It is just picking up the old antisemitic trope of "jews and money" while connecting it with the "jews control the world/media" trope.

You can be left all you want and believe in how good of a person you are and that you are against all hate, but you are proving with your very own words that you are not that pure of a person as you would like to be. You know that antisemitism is bad so you of course claim to be not antisemitic. But your words prove the opposite.

(It's just the same with all the racists who hate to be called racists, but have no probl3m qith acting racist.)

Many leftists are sadly very antisemitic, you just don't realise it. While far right wing people are rather open about their antisemitism the far left is hiding it behind words like capitalism and establishment - which ironically many people in the right have adopted today. So of course you are open to being fished by literal nazis and of course it takes you hours to realise it. Simply because so many of your views agree with each other. You simply believe that it is about israel, while the right know that it is about jews.

Now if you don't want to be antisemitic you really have to think hard about all your views regarding not only jews but also capitalism, the media, "powerful" people in politics and also israel. Because many people use those points to hide their antisemitism. It is possible that those people have teached amd shown you stuff regarding these matters that sounded reasonable. It is okay that you believed them. But check all of that regarding antisemitism. Really analyze them. It can be that if you deny any connection with antisemitism right of the bat or start to feel uncomfortable once you take a closer look while inforning yourself on the many forms of antisemitism, that this reactions/feelings could be an indicator for actual antisemitism.

While you are at it please inform yourself what words like genocide and appartheit mean, how the israeli army takes care of making escape routes safe and hamas doesn't and think about what other state informs the people hours if not days before in various ways where they are going to attack because someone started to shot bombs at them from there, and how you would want and expect the country you live in to react to an attack like on october 7th. If 240 people of your country - even children - would have been abducted. What would you want your country to do? And if you are asking for a ceasefire, who are you asking? Only one side or both? And if you only ask one side, why are you asking the side that got shot at first? Why not ask the side that started shooting rockets? And can it still be called a ceasefire if only one side stops shooting rockets?

And isn't it weird that apparently only Israel is commiting a genocide on the people of gaza, even though they inform them when they are gonna bomb which buildings and are making sure that the escape routes are safe, while hamas doesn''t give a fuck about their own people. How can you claim that hamas doesn't want to and tries to commit a genocide on the jewish people after even admitting it themself and constantly shooting rockets at Israel, and made all those horrible crimes on october 7th and say that they will never stop and even tell every palestinian in the whole world to take a knife and grab a jew?

Hamas doesn't care about their people. What is happening to the people in gaza is horrible. I cry with and for all the innocent people there. But hamas isn't innocent. What is happening right now happens because of hamas. That is why they attacked israel, that is why they took hostages. Because they knew that no country in the world that cared for it's own people could let it slide.

They did it so that Israel would have to defend itself - and that so called leftist would be stupid enough to go on the streets and protect hamas and spread antisemitism.

[copperbadge]

I had a very successful and entertaining day today, as you guys can probably tell from the posts I made. There's a few more queued posts of stuff I didn't get to post in-situ, so enjoy that!

Some anecdotes I did not post about from today:

-- I can't remember the last time I queued for a museum. Mostly because if it's not one of "my" museums, like the Field or the Art Institute where I know the best ways in, I'm attending on a weekday deliberately so that I am not amongst the crowds. The line to get into the British Museum was a full block long, but to be fair it only took me ten minutes from opening to get inside. I was mostly amused by the people who a) didn't understand how museum entry works or b) didn't understand how to stand in a line without also blocking foot traffic on the rest of the sidewalk.

-- Almost got in a fight with someone, a definite first for me in a museum. I got salty with a guy who touched a sculpture when he knew he shouldn't, and he got up in my face, and I think genuinely the fact that I knew what the sculpture was called and he didn't confused him so badly he backed down. So if you're looking to defuse a situation via confusion, the phrase "Hey, don't fucking touch the Lamassu and we won't have a problem" worked for me.

-- The British Museum is great but among other issues (looted objects, weird relics of museum-specific imperialism, etc) it does suffer from poor display design in places. I'm okay with that, I kind of like old museums that are a little fucked up, even as I acknowledge that old fucked-up museums also have old fucked-up messaging. They appear to be trying on that front, but they could use a display placard overhaul. At one point I found an object in a case that appeared to be a carved human leg bone, and while I'm not a Bone Specialist there was also absolutely no placard about the bone at all. (I looked it up in the collection later using other objects in the case as reference, and it's just noted as "bone".)

-- I did have a great time overall; I saw most of the museum and then had a fancy meal, as documented. I was especially pleased to get to sample their coronation chicken since I collect tastings of coronation chicken, and I think they either used molasses in it or the bread had some, and either way it's grist for my mill as I start to develop The Chicken Salad War. After lunch I went on the hunt for a few last things, but I could feel myself getting tired and Becoming Unmedicated so I decided to leave a little early, which was the right choice, and gave me a little time to do some exploring.

-- @neil-gaiman did a post a while ago about stuff to see in London which I saved, and while I mostly planned my own journey, I did stop at Atlantis Books on his recommendation, which was well worth it. The woman working the till left me alone until I was ready to buy my book, then praised my choice (always a good move) and made a few minutes' small talk about my visit from America while she was ringing me up. Also I have never seen such a variety of Tarot decks for sale in my life. It was extremely impressive given the entire shop is roughly the size of my bedroom in Chicago.

All in all an excellent day out in London. Tomorrow I'm traveling to meet up with a friend, so probably fewer photos, but day after tomorrow I'm bound for Amsterdam so expect Rijksmuseum photos! I did not get into the Vermeer exhibit sadly, but I still want to see the museum and I'm on a quest for freshly made stroopwaffels and authentic gjetost, so I'm excited for the journey. I thought this trip might be one small anxiety after another -- would I be okay on the plane, would I get on the right trains, etc -- but I'm feeling more confident now, and I think between my early-bird tendencies and the ADHD meds I kicked the jet lag pretty quickly. I'm off to bed in a few, because tomorrow is an early day, so I guess we'll find out then how much I really kicked it....

[ktempestbradford]

This post is 100% a spoiler for Good Omens Season 2 finale and therefore it's going under a cut

There's a writing craft thing I wanna talk about in regards to the characters.

The thing I absolutely loved about that last bit of the last episode is how it stomps all over several annoying (and, I feel, lazy) tropes one encounters in mostly Western (not exclusively) stories about people who love each other or who realize they have a specific kind of love for each other, and that is:

Not Talking To Each Other

I remember as a kid being really frustrated with the soap operas I was forced to watch (cuz my Gramma babysat me after school) because even at 8 years old I could tell that every conflict could be solved by people having a damn conversation. I thought this was only a problem in soaps and only because they had to keep the drama going 5 days a week every week forever somehow.

Sadly, no.

So when Maggie and Nina come to the shop and tell Crowley that they can't be getting together because it's not the right time but that they did like each other and all they had needed to do was talk to each other honestly, I was screaming:

YES! YAAAS! FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!

But then I got real nervous when Aziraphale stopped Crowley from saying what he was gonna say because I worried that Crowley then wouldn't say it. Because that's so often what happens, right? The person was gonna make that declaration, say what they feel, be truthful and lay it all out, but something interrupts them, makes them despair or distracts everyone, and then they hold in what we, the audience, know they were going to say. I was honestly prepared for that.

Then it didn't happen.

I about lost it. Even in the moment I realized the tears streaming down my face were only half for the way A and C were being torn apart just as Crowley said out loud what we all knew they both wanted and half for how effing thankful I was to @neil-gaiman for the narrative choice.

Because it's a brilliant one! It's the right one! And it doesn't cause the problem I think writers who make the tropey mistake think it will.

I think that many a writer would have thought that if Crowley said what he said then Aziraphale would have had to choose to stay on Earth with him because his feelings were just as strong, and to choose otherwise meant he didn't want to be with Crowley as badly as Crowley wanted to be with him.

But, as we saw, that is not the case at all. I will forever love Michael Sheen for how he said "Come WITH me!" 😭

With film and TV and the stage writers have to rely on the actor to be able to get this kind of scene across and not just on their own writing skills. It still takes some excellent skills. But this entire scenario could have gone down like a lead balloon if the actors hadn't been so very in tune with the material and each other.

You can accomplish this in prose as well! Because two characters can want to be with each other and also want two very different things out of life. They can talk to each other and Say The Thing, yet still not end up together (for now) if that's where you want the narrative to go.

There are so many annoying ways narratives "usually go" that are based on writers thinking that they can't have characters act in certain ways, otherwise there won't be any conflict or obstacles to move the story along. My biggest pet peeves is characters doing Stupid Things even if they aren't stupid people because the writer needs for them to be stupid to make some plot thing happen.

A recent example: Locke & Key season 1. I'm not going to go into a huge explanation. The short version is that there's a cave by the seashore which is famous in the tiny town for an incident in the pre-smartphone days where some teens went into it not knowing when the tide was going to come in. When it did, the kids were trapped and some drowned.

(This isn't what truly happened, but it's what everyone thinks happened.)

Late in the season, a character gets her friend group to go into that same cave and, lo, they realize they're about to die because the tide is coming in unexpectedly and they lose a bunch of expensive equipment. Because no one, not a one of them, checked when the tide would come in on their smartphones.

Nope. NOPE. I about turned the whole thing off right then because it was the 5th stupid thing a character had done, and it was far too egregious to ignore.

This kind of thing makes characters feel like dolls and action figures being moved around instead of actual people. You can't replace characterization with an action sequence, people.

Because I'm so annoyed with this kind of thing, I actively avoid it in my own fiction. Ruby Finley was the first time I had the space to really work it. There are several points in the story where I needed Ruby and the gang to do something that would move the narrative along, yet not in a way that ignored the realities of their lives and their personalities.

Spoilers for my book ahead.

The first time is when Ruby asks Holly to help use her drone to look in Witchypoo's windows. Holly very sensibly says that they can't go do that willy nilly because the people in the neighborhood will see them. Instead of not thinking it through, the girls formulate a plan to do the thing when they're least likely to be seen.

They get caught, not because they didn't think it through and weren't careful, but because they saw a monster bug and freaked out.

When the kids realize the giant bug is in the basement of the abandoned school, they don't rush in to find it. They formulate a plan that covers the dangers they assume they're facing. When it goes wrong it's not because they weren't prepared, but because they didn't have all the information they needed to truly assess the situation.

I find it so much more interesting and compelling when characters are thwarted even when they act wisely -- or think they're doing so. Just as I find it more compelling and heartbreaking when characters actually talk to each other and say what they need to say and they're still torn apart (if they need tearing apart! I'm also fine with them making declarations and then being happy as long as it didn't take 50 million years/pages for this to happen).

Bottom Line: Can we have more of this please? Let's have fewer stories about characters not talking, not thinking, not being smart, not doing what an actual person would do simply because the writer won't let go of their idea of how the plot is supposed to go or unwilling to add the emotional context that allows the plot thing to happen even without the Nots.

[getmemymicroscope]

Random Thoughts

So, I've been re-watching Leverage: Redemption (which has quickly become my favorite season of Leverage, even with the sad dearth of Hardison, because I much prefer the dynamic that Mr. Wilson has with the group as that to which the Nate/Sophie dynamic brought - aka, her having to mother him). But that's a story for another day - clearly Nate being Nate helped forged that team. There's no denying that, and it's not something Mr. Wilson would've been able to do. (Actually, this is sort of a lie - I've already re-watched the whole season again last weekend, and am now trying to avoid binging it again just long enough to watch some other episodes of other things.)

But anyhow, there was an episode with LeVar Burton, which was a lot of fun. Probably not my favorite episode of the bit, only because the first two and the last all had Hardison so therefore they immediately jump to the top, but the LeVar Burton episode was still awesome. And him being a librarian was just so perfect (the show did good with callbacks - the same episode with mention of TNG; Noah Wyle's character saying he knew medical jargon because of TV; plus, of course, all the Doctor Who shout-outs, continued from the original series; etc.)

This is funny, because it intersects slightly with my childhood (Reading Rainbow) - and that intersection has lead me to a podcast called LeVar Burton Reads. In which, as the title suggests, he reads (short) stories. It's great fun - at a time in life when I'm just too mentally exhausted to make the effort to read, I can just turn on a podcast and he'll read it to me in 50-ish minutes. It's pretty cool, though admittedly I'm way behind the times and only like a handful of episodes in.

The most recent story he read was @neil-gaiman's Chivalry - which itself was a blast of a story. Neil Gaiman's works are sadly under-read by me - Good Omens, of course, and I'm now halfway through Neverwhere (and just awaiting a quiet weekend to finish); Stardust is also on my 'soon-to-be-read' list - but the little bit I have read has been very enjoyable. And Chivalry is no less so. The amazing contrast of, well, the mundane of day-to-day life versus the fantastical quest really got me thinking. Though that, also, is a story for another day. This post is more just to get some random thoughts out of my head. Point is: LeVar Burton is awesome, LeVar Burton Reads is awesome, and Neil Gaiman is awesome.

Very unrelated: I've been watching The Resort on Peacock and in the most recent (today's) episode, Baltasar's detective-work very much reminded me of Dirk Gently. I think it's aided by the way the show/mystery is being played out/overlaid, but his questions and his "I need to get to know you" approach is, while probably bordering on TMI/irrelevant, the type of fantastical, seemingly unrelated but somehow deeply connected stuff that I'd imagine Dirk Gently would be interested in.

That's it for now. Time to go listen to another short story.

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

books i actually like

A solid 97% of my ‘book reviews’ (for lack of a better term) are bound to be just me bitching about said book for way too long with way too many expletives, because books I genuinely adore rarely invoke the visceral reaction within me that causes so many of my ‘reviews’ of books I don’t like to be so impassioned and long-winded. Here’s to kicking this dumpster fire off with a little positivity, because that will be little and far in between henceforth.

Harry Potter – J. K. Foul Thing I never understood how someone could appreciate the art and not the artist until Harry Potter. JKR’s dead to me, but the seven original (and only, because I refuse to accept the flaming pile of dog shit that was The Cursed Child as canon) books remain i c o n i c. And you’ll probably witness a LOT of Harry Potter-inspired shitposting on my part if you decide to stick around, because Harry Potter trivia makes up a solid chunk of my personality, and I like to shove my fandoms in other people’s faces. Again, I’m cute like that.

The Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank By some odd coincidence, my mum got me Anne Frank’s diary for my 13th birthday, and I always felt like a Super Special Snowflake because of that. Obviously, I can’t relate to being Jewish and in hiding during WWII, but there’s a lot of Anne’s views and thoughts that… resonated with me (ain’t that the most basic-ass description of a book, ever). There’s always the lingering sadness while reading because you know how her story comes to an end, but it’s a book that’s still stuck with me six years later, and for the rest of my mortal life.

The Book Thief – Markus Zusak Why Must I Adore Books That Give Me Naught but Pain: An Autobiography.

Freak the Mighty – Rodman Philbrick Ditto.

Bad Alice – Jean Ure When I first saw the cover, I expected a lighthearted, cheery book. I was very much mistaken. Duffy, a self-proclaimed ‘oddball’, and Alice, another self-proclaimed ‘oddball’, are easily two of my favorite fictional characters, ever. The subject matter is pretty damn dark and rereading the book as an adult is actually kind of scary, but it’s so well-written and engaging and this sounds like I’m an elementary school teacher writing a report card so I’m just gonna stop here.

Tiger Eyes – Judy Blume A true Relic of the angst-riddled phase of my adolescence (I say as if I am not still going through said angst-riddled phase). I’ve been a fan of Judy Blume’s work since one of the girls in my third-grade class bestowed upon me Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing; growing up, I’ve become more detached from Blume’s work but Tiger Eyes is a book that’s never gotten old for me. Davey, the angst-riddled adolescent protagonist, is also stubborn and headstrong and angry and scarily relatable to myself at her age, though under wildly different circumstances.

Changeling – Philippa Gregory I’ve read a couple of Goodreads reviews on the Order of Darkness series, and I’ve garnered that Philippa Gregory fans (Philippans? Philipinos?) are not fans of the series. I can’t vouch for that, given that I’ve only ever read the said series, and I’m admittedly not a fan of books two through four (which is basically every book of the series published to date, exempting the first), but Changeling is a book I liked enough to attempt to handwrite it in a notebook back when I was 12 (I gave up after, like, two sentences because my hand started cramping), and also to try and write a ripoff, featuring an angsty young preteen girl with (short) wavy black hair and eyes like limpid tears (gee, I wonder who that could be) (my eyes are brown, though; I dunno why I wrote the self-insert to be blue-eyed).

The Secret History – Donna Tartt My first foray into dark academia; sadly, reading The Secret History before any other books in the (sub?)genre made every other book pale in comparison. What’s so special about The Secret History for me is that I hate every main character, with passion. Each and every one of them; not just Bunny, but Richard and Henry and Charles and Camilla and Francis and Julian can all go fuck themselves for all I care- but I find them so fascinating. The story and the way it’s written is pretty over-the-top dramatic and my struggling bilingual arse had to look up every tenth word or so, but I adore it with every fibre of my being. Well, the leftover fibres of my being that aren’t simping over Kim Seungmin.

A Series of Unfortunate Events – Lemony Snicket Does this count as the first step of my emo phase? Shoutout to the girl in seventh grade I sat next to for, like, two weeks, who lent me The Wide Window and got me hooked on the series.

Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll This entire book feels so trippy.

The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett It’s corny and Everything Works Out Swell for the Goody Guys in the End! in period-typical book fashion, but it got me through many a boring class in the spring of my ninth year of personhood, so I’ll always have a soft spot for Mary and Dickon and Colin and the rest of the gang. It also inspired me to Cultivate, and there are two pretty bougainvillea plants in my garden thanks to one Mary Lennox.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post – Emily M. Danforth Cameron Post: the lesbian baddie we all aspire to be.

Vicky Angel – Jacqueline Wilson Yet another shoutout to my seventh-grade seatmate for lending me her copy of Vicky Angel, which I read under my covers like it was a bloody nudie mag.

A Song of Ice and Fire – George R. R. Martin Where’s Winds of Winter, George?

Turtles All the Way Down – John Green Paper Towns used to be my favorite John Green book until I read Turtles All the Way Down last year. I adore John Green’s writing style (maybe not the #deep #woke #sadboi #middleclass #white #male #cisgender #heterosexual #personalityofabreadroll leads in a solid chunk of his books, though) and okay, so maybe Davis fits all of the above, but my true faves are Aza and Daisy and their dynamic.

To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee I keep calling this ‘HOW to Kill a Mockingbird’ in conversations and it gets really fucking inconvenient.

Coraline – Neil Gaiman I just wish I’d read this sooner than I did.

[stevetonygames]

Spotlight Post: Canon Soulmate Bonds

Yooo, this is a blog takeover, Mizzy here, ready to champion one of my favourite fictional causes: canonical soulbonds in the Marvel universe.

We all love a good soulbond fic. Words on your body, names on your wrist, red string of fate...so many glorious versions, and all of them *completely awesome*. The problem sometimes with starting a soulbond fic, though, can be all the worldbuilding required to make it work. But what if I was to tell you that no worldbuilding was necessary? That you could technically write a soulbond fic without having to set it in an Alternate Universe? What if you could set your soulbond fic *directly in main canon?*

Marvel 616 delivers you a canonical soulbond mechanic… not once… but at least *twice*. There could be more. There’s a lot of comics to go through and I’m only smol. But here’s the two I know about and I’m here to introduce you to today. :)

The was a ripple of mild confusion around fandom when Kevin Feige announced that the Eternals were getting a title movie in the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Created by Jack Kirby in the 1970s, in a wild combination of mythological fascination and spite at DC comics for not letting him finish his New Gods saga, the Eternals were an offshoot of humanity, created by the Celestials for humanity’s protection; this reason for their existence would lead them into their ongoing conflict against the deadly Deviants. There have been a few Eternals runs (notably one run by Neil Gaiman, which did not serve to bring the Eternals the commercial success Marvel was searching for with the title, that nevertheless remains the most fun and accessible Eternals volume), but they’ve not yet really reached wide-reaching traction among even the most die-hard comic fans. The MCU might change that, and here’s hoping, because I love these nearly-immortal idiots, and I’m hoping not to be alone in that for much longer. :D

But even my Eternals-happy soul has to admit, Eternals canon for the most part is dense and can be convoluted, and the spellings—both of their character names and one of the main fun parts of their existence, the Mahd W’yry—are enough to give one a headache. The idea of the Eternals is that they’re long-lived and have interacted with human history over the years in various impactful ways. You might think at first glance that you’ve never heard of the Eternals Sersi, Ikaris, Makkari, but I think you wouldn’t find Circe, Icarus, or Mercury unfamiliar names.

The Mahd W’yry is a symptom of the Eternals being so long-living. In order to stop them going insane, the Eternals have to bond into something known as the Uni-Mind, which basically squishes all their consciousnesses together into one, where they can share memories and blend temporarily into one mind. Regularly bonding into the Uni-Mind allows them to stave off the Mahd W’yry. (Yep, that’s just a headache-inducing spelling of ‘mad worry’, we know.)

Anyway, did you need to know all this? Eh, maybe, a little bit of canned backstory is always handy for you to briefly glance over and promptly forget. Because along with some dense mythological adventures, some glorious angsting across beautiful landscapes, and that ability to turn into a big massive floating brain, the Eternals also gave us a beautiful gift:

The Gann Josin.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris comes down to Earth and decides that Sersi needs to be bonded to Dane Whitman, an Avenger who canonically didn’t have any powers, he was just a *really good guy*, destined for tragedy. Honestly. That’s his bio. Really good guy. Destined for tragedy. The character creation in the 90s was peak talent. Dane, sadly, was in love with another woman, but did this matter to Ikaris? No. Apparently the Eternals don’t know about the dangers of letting himbos like Ikaris have life-changing powers, like the ability to create the Uni-Mind. 

Because the power to control the Uni-Mind also gives an Eternal the power to form a Gann Josin bond. And that’s what Ikaris does in Avengers #361—he forces a Gann Josin bond on Eternal Sersi and tragic human Avenger Dane Whitman.

Gann Josin (sometimes Gan-Josin because what is spelling continuity in Marvel comics) is both the name of the bond, and the title given to an Eternal and their chosen life-mate. It has a bunch of cool side effects. Both Gann Josins get glowing full-red eyes. It’s a really intimate tiny form of the Uni-Mind (without the part where you become a big floating brain), and creates a small scale mental union. The Gann Josin bond makes the Eternal and their partner lifelong soulmates. As the bond progresses, it creates a telepathic/empathic bond that strengthens in time. According to the Eternal Sprite, humans are rarely chosen by Eternals for the Gann Josin.

Now, Dane Whitman does manage to break the Gann Josin several issues later. But… it’s not easy. It’s rare. When Dane manages it, it is called an “astounding act.” It’s pretty dang hard, in other words. There’s every chance your chosen Gann Josins won’t have the mental fortitude of Dane Whitman to break it. (Although, we’re talking about Steve and Tony, and are there any bigger stubborn idiots in the universe? Probably not.)

But Mizzy, I hear you saying. I don’t want to write about Ikaris, even if he is a party king and that sounds pretty nifty. I don’t know anything about the Eternals and I don’t want to go down that gnarly rabbit hole.

That’s totes fine, my friend. I am here to save you. Because in very recent canon, during Jason Aaron’s turn at the helm, the Eternals are all dead. Very dead. That whole Mahd W’yry thing got ‘em, it got ‘em good. But before Ikaris died, he granted his Uni-Mind power to someone we all know and love.

Yep. Tony Stark. Tony Stark currently has the power of the Uni-Mind.

Which means that Tony Stark can now Gann Josin people.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris performs the Gann Josin by basically just pointing his hands at Sersi and Dane and some light goes WHEEEEEEE!! in their direction, and bam, this rare and special bond is done. And Tony Stark can do that now. To anyone! Unfortunately Ikaris is dead and didn’t leave Tony with an instruction manual. But the point is, he *can*. You can make up all sorts of fun things with this canonical fact (or write your own version because lbr Canon Is Dead; Long Live Canon.)

There are so many possibilities. Does Tony deliberately learn how to use it so he can bond himself to Steve? Does Tony *need* to be able to hear Steve’s thoughts (to thwart some bad guys) and thus end up soulbonded forever to Steve in result? Is Tony’s power activating at random because he can’t control it, and he ends up soulbonding everyone around him? Does he just subconsciously bond himself to Steve without consciously meaning to? Do Tony or Steve want to try it for science?

Gosh, I love comics.

But WAIT. There’s MORE.

It’s not just 1990s comics going ham on the soulbond idea. No, we got some *this year*. Canonical soulbonding? TWICE? In one universe? Two different kinds??

And this time, it’s not in a D-list Marvel title. We’re up the ranks to the big leagues this time, folx, with a brief trek to the world of the Fantastic Four.

In Fantastic Four (Vol. 6) #15, we’re introduced to a Spyre citizen called Sky, a winged team member of the Unparalleled (more cosmic-powered superheroes), who work under The Overseer. (The Overseer, in a burst of beautiful retcon in the way Marvel comics keeps doing to us, is apparently the entity who is responsible for giving the F4 their powers. Huh. The more you know.)

On the planet Spyre, all children are brought before something called The Great Eye. This measures them against the radiation signature of everyone on the planet, divining who their perfect match is. 

Sky looked into The Great Eye, only to find out her match was Johnny Storm, who was 44 light-years away at the time. Long-distance relationships can be tough. Anyway, plot happens, the F4 get stuck on Spyre, get told they can’t leave, and Sky tells Johnny Storm that she is his soulmate. Oh, and she attached a soul binding onto him while he slept. Neat, huh, all the bodily autonomy people get in this universe before being force soulbond to people? So neat, much consent, wow.

Johnny feels a connection to Sky, which is supposed to let us know this lack of choice is a good thing I guess. The Overseer wants Sky to renounce Johnny and crush the F4 which obv doesn’t happen, so of course she leaves The Unparalleled and skips off to Earth to be with Johnny. 

Who knows how this relationship is gonna last. I mean, you can look at the rest of Johnny’s relationship history and have a good guess. Who knows. Anyway, Reed and Sue are each other's soulmate, and also share a “Soul Binding”, so there’s some canonical proof right there that maybe this system has some validity going for it.

The soulbond for this form takes the form of a golden bracelet worn on the upper arm, that Sky explains her people call a “Soul Binding”; it represents them as being soul-mates. This bracelet can only be removed by your soulmate. This soulbond doesn’t seem to come with any extra powers, it’s just to show that The Great Eye has measured their radiation signature and declared them a match that is supposed to mean they’re perfectly compatible in every way: spiritually, mentally, and physically.

I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty good feeling that Steve and Tony might just have matching radiation signatures… Or what if Steve and Tony have perfect matching signatures….with other people? (Someone else on Spyre believes Sky is *their* perfect match, after all!) What if Steve has feelings for Iron Man, but he’s a perfect match with Tony Stark? I feel faint already just thinking about it.

So here you go. Two canonical types of soulbonds for your fannish consideration. Feel free to ask me questions! You can find me on tumblr (@mizzy2k) or on discord (addy#0908).

[half-man-half-lime]

On why being dark makes Worm a good power fantasy

Okay I have a tendency to pointlessly and circuitously ramble so I’m just gonna leave a TL;DR up here: Worm shows that the most powerless people in the most hopeless situations can still make a difference through perseverance.

So here and there I’ve seen posts going around (not gonna search and link the various posts I’m referencing in this post, it’s 2 AM and I’m lazy) about why everyone should shut up about people liking lighter works, and how Steven Universe is a great work of escapism because it lets people experience a world where compassion can win wars and make the world a better place. I’m not gonna argue about whether lighter or darker stuff is better, the point of those posts is people can like what they want (also see that one comic I’m not gonna link where stories are balloons and someone makes a heavy iron balloon and drops it into a pit and someone stuck in the muck grabs a hold of it; you know the one).

But that stuff HAS been making me think about why Worm is a good escapist fantasy in a number of ways. My analysis of the Parahumans stories has been kind of sidetracked by the amazing analysis by the We’ve Got Worm/Ward podcast, all that stuff about characterization and themes and shit, it’s great, but all that stuff plus the YBUTTing (You’re Being Unfair To Taylor, basically dismantling her moral justifications and pointing out the negative effect her moral choices have on her and those around her) kind of make you forget the childish, sadistic appeal of a story about a girl who cuts people’s eyes out and is Completely Justified in doing so and also Extremely Clever like a seasoned D&D player. And that stuff is fun, even if it gets less so after too many rereads. (Seriously, I’ve listened to the audiobooks so many times now, I’ve lost count.)

But one thing Matt and Scott and the reddit commenters have discussed is the usefulness of horror story elements as a way of establishing stakes, which brings me to my point: It’s really fucking empowering to see a nerdy teenage girl take down invincible serial killers and bully god to death when she seems like she should have absolutely no way or right to do so.

Like, one of the reasons One Piece was always so appealing to me, something that sort of faded with the power creep and repetition of the same story beats over and over again, is how satisfying it is to see Luffy and pals take down warlords and tyrants a thousand times stronger than them through sheer force of will. What right does this punk-ass kid from the East Blue with stretchy powers have to take down a powerful Fish-Man, or a lightning-slinging self-proclaimed god, or a seasoned undercover assassin with a thirst for blood? But he does it anyway! He works out and trains and shit, and basically wrecks his body sometimes, and in the end, after a lot of screaming and punching, those guys are gone, and he’s still here! Because they had the audacity to hurt his friends, and he and his pals will fucking bully reality into doing what they want if it means stopping people who do those sort of things.

Now the thing about Taylor Hebert is she isn’t strong, not physically. This bullied kid never got super-strength or web-slingers to swing around on, nor the charisma to make quips and piss off the local mad scientists. She’s clever, but not enough to build a laser gun or a giant robot. She controls bugs. Wowee. Like the Stretchy Man, she should by all rights be underwhelming to deal with, but somehow she always seems to make it out alive, her enemies leaving without the eyeballs or prosthetic foreheads they came in with. (Don’t worry, they both got new ones, it just took a while. Well. Not Valefor.)

And that’s cool in a vacuum, but in the Parahumans universe? That’s an accomplishment. The Endbringers and the Slaughterhouse Nine, the horror as stakes, they’re like an uphill battle against a bigger, steeper uphill battle. And Taylor has bugs. She can’t chop Leviathan in half, and if she tries (which she does, to a degree), she risks drowning, being crushed and paralyzed, and being thrown headfirst into a concrete floor all at the same time. So she slinks around the Endbringers, too far away to be stepped on, giving CPR to the fighters wounded in battle; she plots against the Nine and probes for weaknesses, even if it means risking herself and her teammates. She beats the shit out of the genius killer mannequin man, not with fireballs or hundred-ton punches, but with spiderwebs and glue, and in the end, after being wounded and exhausted, tens of people are alive because of what she did.

To compare this to Steven Universe, or the opposite side of Skitter’s coin, the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (though sadly SU is a better comparison because on top of the positivity it handles things like abuse and trauma) (woe is me that I’m too lazy to write crossover or toneswap fanfic, between Worm and USG by the way, if you want to do that for me, be my guest (Also a Freaks and Geeks mashup, Worms and Germs)), it’s enormously encouraging that Steven is ultimately able to stop the onslaught of genocidal space empresses, not by punching them, but by appealing to their humanity, a task that his upbringing and challenges completely prepared him for. Doreen Green, in a world of angsty heroes and villains and murder and trauma, can befriend her enemies and stop them by suggesting more fulfilling career goals, or end centuries of interstellar war with a chalk board and a day or two of diplomatic negotiations.

And that’s appealing especially today because a lot of people feel tired of fighting and knowing that no amount of talking or empathy will stop transphobes and Trump supporters from making the world a waking nightmare. And plenty of people are tired of stories of Hopeless Bleak Despair, and want a little compassion in their lives. I get that, I truly do. I enjoy those stories for the same reasons.

BUT, Worm means a lot to me right now too. And it wouldn’t be the same without the pain and suffering. Scaring the Slaughterhouse Nine out of Brockton Bay wouldn’t seem like such an achievement if we didn’t see Brian cut to pieces, doomed to permanent PTSD, while the Undersiders lie paralyzed on the floor, subject to Bonesaw’s torturous whims. The defeat of Behemoth would seem a little more predictable and boring if the Avengers pulled it off in an hour, without hundreds of dead heroes (and thousands more who died in past fights), infighting, and the threat of an ally destroying all of India in a misguided attempt to stop the beast. Mannequin running away from a super-puncher or a fireball-shooter wouldn’t feel like the accomplishment it does coming from the scared teenage girl whose only weapons are some squishy bugs, a knife and baton, and some craft supplies.

Worm presents a world where suffering is everywhere, where the where traumatized, hopeless people can fight and fight and endure endless pain, lose loved ones and body parts, be given just little enough power by those that seek to exploit and hurt them that they shouldn’t be able to fight back, to leverage nothing but pepperspray and spiders against dragons, and, after all that struggling and fighting and pain, actually make the bad guys stop hurting people. (it’s like that Chesterton quote in Coraline that people misattribute to Neil Gaiman, about how fantasy shows us how dragons can be beaten.)

And it’s an upsetting and exhausting story to read, especially binge reading or listening, and it ends in genuine heartbreaking tragedy, yet somehow the victory seems like one of the most earned wins in all of fiction. Nobody should be able to defeat Grieving Golden Jesus or Superdense Hurricane Godzilla, and that’s why it’s so empowering when Taylor Hebert fucking does.

Isn’t that just as reassuring, in a world that seems so hopeless right now, when we all feel so powerless, so tired of struggling? I think so.

[aion-rsa]

9 Best TV Roles From Gillian Anderson

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Full-time TV goddess and part-time television detective Gillian Anderson is never far from our minds. Here are nine of our favorite TV roles from the actress, whose on-screen legacy reaches far past The X-Files franchise to British period dramas, eccentric Bryan Fuller shows, and animated snarkiness.

Dana Scully in The X-Files

Let’s just get this way out of the way, shall we? Not because Anderson’s turn as Agent Dana Scully over the course of 11 seasons (and counting?) of The X-Files TV show and two The X-Files movies should or could be diminished, but because most everyone is familiar with Anderson’s turn as the chronically skeptical FBI agent.

Dana Katherine Scully is more than a TV character. She’s an institution. I grew up watching The X-Files and having a female character who wasn’t the same cookie-cutter example of what it was to be a woman made me feel like much more was possible. Gillian Anderson’s understated, yet affecting portrayal of the character was a large part of that.

Scully was (and still is) complex and flawed. She is a scientist with a commitment to her Catholic faith. She is a skeptic who, nonetheless, believes in Mulder. And she is funny as anything—much of that down to Anderson’s dry, deadpan delivery (“Bad Blood” being a great, oft-cited example). If Gillian Anderson had to have one character define her career, she could do a lot worse that Scully.

Miss Havisham in Great Expectations

If you’re looking for a great Great Expectations adaptation, the 2011 BBC/PBS miniseries is not your best bet. If you’re looking for a role in which Gillian Anderson gets to chew up the scenery in a miniseries-stealing performance, this three-part series is for you.

Anderson is so often cast in understated roles, and she plays them incredibly well, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t gratifying to see her make moves as a completely over-the-top villainous character, like her turn as the bitter, mentally unstable, and highly-flammable Miss Havisham. As they should probably start saying in England: Come for the Dickens, stay for the Anderson.

Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier in Hannibal

Hannibal is not a show for the faint of heart, but it rewards viewers endlessly with its sumptuous visuals, unpredictably gruesome plot, and its ridiculously stellar cast. Gillian Anderson is only one of the many talented actors who make up this ensemble — including Mads Mikkelsen, Hugh Dancy, Laurence Fishburne, and Gina Torres.

Remember how we were talking about how Anderson often plays understated characters? Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier may be the most understated of the bunch. Perhaps the most enigmatic character on a show filled with enigmatic characters, Anderson manages to imbue the sly, clever Bedelia with a complex vulnerability that her cold, proper surface only occasionally lets through. If you are a fan of Gillian Anderson or good TV, Hannibalis a must-watch.

Lady Dedlock in Bleak House

A big part of Gillian Anderson’s career renaissance has been Dickensian adaptations and this is, perhaps, the best example. The BBC did a 15-part (eight-hour) adaptation of Bleak House in 2015. Anderson took on the role of the cold, secretive Lady Dedlock and she is one of many deft moving parts in this brilliant retelling of the Dickens classic, which is much more fun than its lawyer-heavy premise might suggest.

Anderson seemingly agrees. She spoke with The Daily Beast about finding an appreciation for Dickens through her acting, saying:

One of the only things that I have regrets about in my life is my experience of school and education. I wish I had known how important it was to pay attention … My first foray into a lot of the classics has been through my work. It’s only after falling in love with the screenplay or adaptation that I’ve then gone on to read the novels themselves.

Stella Gibson in The Fall

If you’re and Anderson fan and haven’t yet watched The Fall,a Northern Ireland-set crime drama about the cat-and-mouse game between Detective Inspector Stella Gibson and serial killer Paul Spector (played by Jamie Dornan), then stop reading this and go do so now. Anderson plays Stella Gibson, an English DI who is brought to Belfast to stop the series of murders of young professional women that have been occurring in the city. The Fall has been celebrated for the fact that Anderson plays a character who is almost always male. She is extremely focused (and good at) her job, sees sex as a primarily casual habit, and doesn’t have the most robust of personal lives.

Anderson’s nuanced performance makes Stella a strong and sympathetic character — one who is deeply affected by the way that men take out their anger and frustrations out on women, and who knows how to navigate a world and professional space riddled with misogyny and casual sexism. Anderson has called Stella Gibson her favorite role, and it’s easy to see why. The actress is asked to do a lot in the BBC drama—and she more than steps up to the challenge.

Dana Scully in The Simpsons

Sure, this is really just a guest starring role on someone else’s TV show, but how could we not include at least one of Gillian Anderson’s animated turns? (She also appears briefly on Robot Chicken,as Fiona.) This X-Files spoof episode—”The Springfield Files”—comes in The Simpson’s eighth season and it is filled with in-jokes about the paranormal drama. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson basically just voice their characters, but — as A.V. Club‘s review notes — “Anderson is, if anything, even more restrained than she is on The X-Files, which makes her lines funnier.”

“The Springfield Files” is far from the best episode of The Simpsons, but it is another great example of the kind of range Anderson has. Sure, she may be playing another version of her most well-known character, but getting that same character across in voice work is far different from getting that character across on live-action TV. Anderson nails it.

Media in American Gods

Sadly, Gillian Anderson is no longer on American Gods, which has suffered a series of high-profile “departures” that began with the “exit” of showrunners Bryan Fuller and Michael Green before Season 2. But we will always have one season of Anderson as Media, the mouthpiece of the New Gods, in this Starz adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s bestselling novel. As Media takes on the form of various celebrities and lives off the worship people give to their various screens, we got to see Anderson transform herself into people like Marilyn Monroe, Lucille Ball, and David Bowie—a smorgasbord of eclectic Anderson performances all in one show! For one season, we truly were blessed.

Jean Milburn in Sex Education

For a show that is mostly about The Youths, Anderson certainly makes her presence felt in Netflix’s British dramedy Sex Education. Anderson plays Jean Milburn, a single mom to teen protagonist Otis (Asa Butterfield), and a sex therapist. When Otis somewhat accidentally shares some of the sex education his mother has been feeding him presumably for his entire adolescence to a school bully, he falls into the sex advice business, helping his classmates with their sexual struggles. As Jean, Anderson gets to be both wise and neurotic, a mother and not defined by it. She also gets to regularly deliver lines like: “Why don’t you start by telling me your earliest memory of your scrotum.” Honestly, we deserve this show and its brilliant casting of Gillian Anderson.

Anna Pavlovna in War & Peace

Still have room for one more Gillian Anderson-starring period drama? (You know you do.) In this lush yet somewhat soulless 2016 adaptation of Tolstoy’s tome, Anderson plays “glittering society hostess” Anna Pavlovna. Written by period adaptation master Andrew Davies and directed by Peaky Blinders‘ Tom Harper and featuring a cast that also includes Paul Dano, Lily James, and James Norton, War & Peace has a lot going for it even if it never fully capitalizes on its deep reserves of talent and, honestly, with such an expansive cast and Anderson in a supporting role, our fave only gets a small amount of screen time. But, per the usual, Anderson steals the show.

What are your favorite Gillian Anderson TV roles? Sound off in the comments below…

The post 9 Best TV Roles From Gillian Anderson appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[scarletwelly-boots]

Books Read 2019

It’s time again for my annual books read post (a little earlier than usual, but I couldn’t wait). I read 24 books in 2019, 4 books more than last year, though two are in progress and I expect to finish them by the new year.

It is year four of the reading challenge from Popsugar. There were 48 categories this year, so I got 50% again. Unlike last year, I did not change any categories, but I may have taken liberties with some again, we’ll see. So, without further ado, let’s begin the list. [Under the cut]

1. How to Train Your Dragon, by Cressida Cowell (A book becoming a movie in 2019). Okay, so there have already been two movies in this series, but the last one (*sob*) came out this year, so it counts. I read this book and a few of the others in the series a few years ago, but revisited the first one this year. It’s really good, but don’t go into it expecting it to be like the movies. The character names are the same, but that’s about it. If you can get your hands on the audiobook version, it’s read by David Tennant, which is excellent. Definitely recommend; it’s just as good as the movies.

2. Little House in the Big Woods, by Laura Ingalls Wilder (A book that makes you nostalgic). This is another reread. My dad read the whole series aloud to my sister and I when we were barely older than Laura is in the first book. It was the series he read before the Harry Potter books came out, and we both got sucked into that series. So yeah, very nostalgic. This is a series of semi-autobiographical stories chronicling Wilder’s pioneer childhood, and this is the first in the series. Some of the language doesn’t really age well, but for the most part it’s a delightful book.

3. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, by Hank Green (a book you think should be turned into a movie). Holy. Shit. I was very, very pleasantly surprised by Hank Green’s debut novel (and yes, John Green is his brother). This is a mysterious book about first encounters and internet fame, with a queer young adult (like, really YA, as in post-college) protagonist. She’s kind of shitty sometimes, but I would argue all twenty-somethings are shitty sometimes (I mean, I literally typed “*sob*” two entries up, like I’m channeling my 2009 self, and I didn’t delete it.). I would highly, highly recommend. And apparently, SOMEDAY, there’s supposed to be a sequel, thank GOD.

4. Loki: Agent of Asgard, by Jason Ewing (a reread of a favorite book). I could actually get away with a reread for this one! I love this graphic novel series. I love how they depict Loki, how he finally gets a goddamn redemption arc. It’s a really fun read. Check it out.

5. The Beast Within, by Serena Valentino (a book inspired by mythology, legend, or folklore). A companion novel to Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I don’t really remember much about this book. It was weird. But like, it plays with the timeline and the curse a little bit, where the beast gets cursed but doesn’t become a beast immediately. He slowly transforms as his behavior gets worse and more cruel. Apparently he used to be friends with Gaston, but Gaston forgot about him once he finally transformed. Really weird. If you’re obsessed with this fairytale like I am, give it a shot. If not, it probably won’t be that interesting.

6. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen (a book you see someone reading on TV or in a movie). Another reread. I know it’s a classic, but I seriously just love this book. 

7. Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diane Wynne Jones (a book about someone with a superpower). Another reread of a favorite book, what can I say. The movie is my favorite movie, but the book is better.

8. Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell (a book told from multiple character POV’s). Okay, listen. I had to reread this book, because it had been a few years and the sequel came out this year. Think of this as generic brand Harry Potter if Draco was a vampire, was Harry’s roommate, and helplessly in love with Harry. I’m serious, it’s generic brand. But damn if I don’t love it. @JKR, this could be us but Harry had to be the jock that married his high school sweetheart and grew up to be a cop. Definitely read.

9. Franny and Zooey, by JD Salinger (a book with no chapters/unusual chapter headings/unconventionally numbered chapters). My brother got me this book for my birthday. Before this I had only read Catcher in the Rye, which I started out hating when I was fourteen but turned into loving when I was nineteen. Honestly I think this novel is better than that one. I really loved it. Highly recommend. What’s it about? Who the fuck knows? But to quote my brother: “At its core, I think this book is about a smart brother and a smart sister. I think we can relate.” So read it and buy it for the smart brother or sister or sibling in your life.

10. 1916, by Tim Pat Coogan (read a book during the season it is set in). This is an Irish history book about the Easter Rising of 1916 and (what I didn’t know when I started reading it in April) everything that came after that can trace its cause back to the rebellion, all the way to the centennial of the Rising. The Easter Rising was the catalyst of Irish freedom. It was like the Boston Tea Party of Ireland, rather than the Battle of Yorktown (as in it kickstarted the War for Independence but didn’t immediately result in freedom), that is, if the instigators of the Boston Tea Party were rounded up, imprisoned in Kilmainham Gaol, and a week later almost all executed by firing squad. It’s a tedious read if you’re not into Irish history or history in general, but I enjoyed it.

11. Loki: Where Mischief Lies, by Mackenzi Lee (a book set in space). Okay, technically it takes place on Asgard and Earth, but those are planets, and planets are in space, so it counts! I’m still reading it, but I really like it so far. (Honestly I maybe just like the idea of Loki in knee high black boots marketed towards women and black nails. I never promised not to be gay.)

12. Norse Mythology, by Neil Gaiman (a book set in Scandinavia). I’m sorry! I read this book every year. Neil Gaiman is an amazing writer, and we all know I’m gay as shit for some good Loki tales. 

13. Artemis Fowl, by Eoin Colfer (a book that takes place in a single day). Okay, I know people love this fantasy series, and since it’s Irish I fully expected to, too. But I didn’t like any of the characters enough to read the rest of the series, least of all Artemis himself. I struggle to enjoy stories if I don’t like the main character, and Artemis was kind of a shit. Sorry, I did not like this one.

14. Skulduggery Pleasant, by Derek Landy (a debut novel). I just started this one, too, but I really like it already. I think the audiobook is read by the same guy that read Artemis Fowl, but already this is way better than that one. The characters are likable, for one (god, the bar is so low for fantasy books for me right now). It’s a mystery and a fantasy, and the main-ish character is literally an anthropomorphic skeleton detective. It’s excellent. I’m going to read the whole series. (I have to; my mom accidentally got me the 12th installment for my birthday.)

15. Red, White, and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston (a book that’s published in 2019). I read this twice. It’s so beautiful. I really expected it to be a shitty YA novel, but it wasn’t! It was very romantic (once they stopped “hating” each other), and gay. The premise sounds far-fetched: First Son of the United States falls for the Crown Prince of England. But, guys, it’s soooo gooooood. Highly, highly, highly recommend. 

16. The Wisconsin Road Guide to Mysterious Creatures, by Chad Lewis (a book featuring an extinct or imaginary creature). I mean, you can make your own decision whether these cryptids are real or imaginary. This is a travel guide to cryptids in Wisconsin, which I got on vacation earlier this year. I liked it, but reading a road guide for pleasure is admittedly kind of weird. Recommend if you’re planning a road trip through Wisconsin and want to stop at some cryptid, ghostly, or Nessie-like hotspots. Or if you just want to fuck Mothman, like me. (Dustybae’s not in this particular travel book though.)

17. Take Me With You, by Andrea Gibson (a book recommended by a celebrity you admire). Okay, so it was by a celeb I admire, not recommended by. This is a very quick read, of quotes from Gibson’s poetry. They are a queer spoken word poet with some really good pieces. They’re on spotify and apple music, probably among other sources. Recommend their work, but the book is very short, so maybe only purchase if you enjoy their work.

18. This is How it Always Is, by Laurie Frankel (a book about a family). This book was really, really good. It was passed around the aunts in my family until it got to my mom and I, which was really kind of a magical thing. It’s about a family navigating the challenges and gifts of raising a trans child. I cried a couple times, and it was so good. It’s written by a parent of a trans child, so it came from a place of understanding, and it was interesting to read this type of narrative from a parent’s perspective, when usually being genderfluid myself, I tend to consume media that is from the perspective of trans characters themselves. I had some very interesting conversations with my aunts and mom about it, and I really think this book changed my family a little bit, and I didn’t expect it to change me, too. Highly recommend. 

19. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Suzanne Clark (a book that includes a wedding). So the wedding is at the very beginning, and sadly not between Strange and Norrell. But it’s really good. Lots of magic, lots of regency-era Britishness. The book is huge, but there is a miniseries on Netflix based on the novel and that’s really good too. Highly recommend, and still in love with my man John Childermass. Hnng.

20. Wayward Son, by Rainbow Rowell (a book by an author whose first and last names start with the same letter). Sequel to Carry On. Sheer madness. I loved it. Think of it as generic brand Harry Potter post-DH, if Harry sprouted dragon wings during the final battle, is gay as shit for Draco, and a year later Harry, Draco, and Hermione are set loose on America with .5 seconds of research, severe culture shock, one cell phone between them, and a half-assed plan to rescue Ginny who may or may not want to be rescued. Shit show, but well done and I’m fully invested and ready for the third installment.

21. Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman (a book with a two-word title). I’m sorry, I need to shift to caps for this. GUYS I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORY YOU HAVE NO IDEA IT IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER COME INTO MY WORLD! I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE WATCHED THE AMAZON SERIES THIRTEEN TIMES TO DATE AND IMMEDIATELY DEVOURED THE BOOK IN THREE DAYS. You don’t know what it’s about? Where have you BEEN?! An angel and a demon who are gay as shit for each other and love humanity way more than either of their respective sides. One downside is that as the miniseries came out like twenty years after the novel, my two favorite parts were only written for the series, and are not in the novel. But the book is still very, very good. 15/10.

22. Dumplin’, by Julie Murphy (a book revolving around a puzzle or game). I took game to mean competition, so this is about a beauty competition. I watched the Netflix movie first. I honesty thought I was not gonna like it, but holy shit it was amazing. Admittedly I think the movie was better (despite having Jennifer Aniston in it), but the book was really good, too. Recommend.

23. The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde (your favorite prompt from a past Popsugar reading challenge; a book with a queer protagonist). God, please read this book. This has been up there in my list of favorite books since I was fourteen. Oscar Wilde is a master storyteller, and Dorian Gray is intriguing and despicable and beautiful. I’ve already read this, but I love it too much not to.

24. Terrible Queer Creatures, by Brian Lacey (a book set in an abbey, cloister, monastery, vicarage, or convent). Okay, so it’s not set there for the whole book, but gay monks and nuns are things. This was another birthday present, and an absolute hit. Combining two of my favorite things: Irish history and queer history. I had no idea a book like this existed. I’m still really excited about it. The only issue I have is that most of the one chapter dedicated to gay women involve biographies of people that were actually probably trans men, like Dr. Barry. They could have probably had a separate chapter and then a chapter of the clear lesbians and bisexual women (including trans women, of course). Lumping them in with the women in a chapter specifically dedicated to queer women did not seem particularly inclusive. But overall I really enjoyed the book.

Top Ten Books of 2019 post will be forthcoming.

[r1ku]

@notchy tagged me! 🤗

🎂: May 28 !

Zodiac: Gemini ♊

Height: 5'3

Last Song I listened to: Gurenge - LiSA

I woke up thinking of this song today lol, because I'm still shocked Brendan Urie from Panic! At the Disco sang to it and watches the show lmao

Hobbies: talking to gaming pals on discord, playing mobile games, working on that webtoon recommendation document on Google doc, playing toontown rewritten, day dreaming, always typing down ideas and dreams to write or draw ONE DAY, in Google notes on my phone.

Favorite color: Purple ! 💜

Favorite Book: Coraline by Neil Gaiman

Tis the only book I have read a few times for sure. You know, I often thought I'd love to be a bookworm and wholeheartedly have several favorite books, but I'm not. I like the idea of it tho, I haven't read books in a long time. I mainly read manga and webtoons.

Last film I watched: The Grand Budapest Hotel by Wes Anderson

My friend and I have a lot of movies to check out, mainly horror flicks of korean or japanese films or martial arts films to watch. But that day he dropped this film to watch and I was able to and had never watched before actually. And we enjoyed it, it's very whimsical and comical.

I almost debated putting the last episode of kanata no astra, since it was like an hour long finale and One can watched several hours of 30 min episodes and not think of it as a movie, but when u think of an episode longer than 23 or 27 minutes, it FEELS like a movie lol even if its not 2 hours long. But nah lol

Dream Job: I haven't really, really thought about it. I've seen a few inspirational, thought provoking posts and tweet threads.

About how for some people you shouldn't make your passion your job, cuz you might end up hating your passion.

Or the one post that said they admired the character, Garry Gergich from Parks and Rec, for choosing a job that's decent pay and few but full hours, that allows him to spend time with his family.

Or the one tweet that talked about you should have several passions to look forward to like boxing or some other activity so you can spread out your feels and not be in a pit of negativity.

That said, I find myself to be a jack of all trades kind of person, I adapt well and if taught well, learn quickly to do just about anything right.

If anything, I will not think of the chains of reality and honestly answer this question focusing on dream part of dream job.

And thats to be a CEO of my own company that I made and create an animatiom company that can revolutionize the animation industry and crack the hammer of justice in various places that mistreat and mismanage and poorly pay hardworking animators and give them the lifestyle they deserve and lift people up and support them and not become a gate keeper. Da Drem *drops mic*

Meaning behind my url: I've had various urls, this url came from my bestfriend cat, who wanted the namine url, when i got her into kingdom hearts, but it's in limbo hell, I remember she waited 9 months for its release but its still like unavailable to obtain, idk now tho, that was a year ago.

I forgot what my url was before, maybe it was hong-seol and I finally, after 8 years, moved on from the spiel I had in firmly loving the character Sul, I still and always will even tho I dislike the comic's last season and how heavily the author suddenly gave us flashbacks all at once.

I told cat that KINGDOM HEARTS IS LIFE, I LOVE RIKU SO MUCH and she said "oh i was typing around and found r1ku is available" and i was like WHAT and i typed it and surely enough, it was available to my great surprise. And I am forever grateful for her and her mind. I ain't letting this go, as such its a personal blog and riku appreciation blog, I'll reblog all that I see and like.

I recently updated the mobile look, desktop look is perfect so i wont change that, but i had destiny islands gif from khnyctophiliac and that riku icon, that I have sources for in my about l sadly dont have time to update my about pages.

But I updated the icon to this destiny islands trio that has amano's kh3 manga art since it has riku in it and i love trios, from the khinsider website that posted icons ro choose from.

The bg is Phoenix Ikki from the Netflix Saint Seiya adaptation's ending, I love how dramatic that shot was with the song. I wish it could be longer, but I have no idea how people edit out credits for gif segments. I only used a quick gif making website that requires the video and can make cuts and speeds.

As for my sideblog, pink4walls, I am still, to this day enamored by f(x)'s - 4walls and especially their pink outfits in their live performance. This blog ia dedicated to hopefully making a thorough navigation system to find specific posts that inspire me to create. A creativity blog, if you will with things that caught my eye and references I want to use.

Thank you Notchy! A well deserved break from routine, helped me try to get more reblogs put there from my enormous 22k drafts, and gives people an update of sorts of me.

I tag @antheiafemme @ughliegirl @alfiethesnip

You may if you choose to, and its okay if you don't ! But first three mutuals to tag off the top of my head.

[inknerd]

November Wrap-Up 2018

I’m a little late in posting this, but let’s go!

I have, for the first time, embraced non-fiction november; so the amount of non-fiction I’ve read this month - while perhaps not that many compared to others - is way more than usual.

VERY GOOD LIVES by J.K. ROWLING ★★☆☆☆ | 74 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2015

So, the only reason I read this was because it was in the pile of books I won a couple of months ago, also because it was non-fiction and very short. + So this was a speech Rowling apparently held some time ago at a graduation, and like, it wasn’t bad? - I’m not super invested in J.K. Rowling in general? But I still thought the speech would be more spectacular than it was.

NORSE MYTHOLOGY by NEIL GAIMAN ★★★★☆ | 235 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

Man, Norse mythology AND Neil Gaiman? It’s strange I haven’t read this before now. + First of all, I dig the cover. 10/10. This book is also hilarious, while still keeping it serious enough that it feels real. - I can’t say I can come up with anything super important to complain about; but there were certain things I’d hoped would appear in the book that didn’t, and I sort of wished for illustrations?

ZEUS GRANTS STUPID WISHES: A NO-BULLSHIT GUIDE TO WORLD MYTHOLOGY by CORY O’BRIEN and SARAH MELVILLE ★★★☆☆ | 304 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2013

I saw people talking about this on tumblr and desperatly wanted to check it out. Guess how happy I was when my local library had it???? Very happy. + God, it’s so funny! I especially enjoyed the part dedicated to Norse mythology. The illustrations were quite funny, too. - While it was super interesting to read about creation myths and stories from mythologies I haven’t really read about much, not knowing them beforehand made it a little bit harder understanding what was going on under all the jokes.

BAD FEMINIST by ROXANE GAY ★★★☆☆ | 320 pages | 5 days to read | Published 2014

This is a book I didn’t get myself, but I was still really excited to read it! (Mainly because it had sprayed pages that looked like marble) + It was an interesting collection of essays about a subject that’s always interesting to read about. Overall I think they all were good. - To me, there wasn’t really anything I hadn’t about (several times) already, and I sort of hoped it be a more fun/witty read.

MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME by REBECCA SOLNIT ★★★★☆ | 130 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2014

+ Really interesting and meaningful read that at least made me feel like I was realising and understanding things I’ve already read about,because it was written in suck a good way. - I skimmed some essays in this collection - some where definitely more enjoying to read than others.

ILLUMINAE by AMIE KAUFMAN & JAY KRISTOFF ★★★★★ | 602 pages | 2 weeks to read | Published 2015

MAN, I’d heard so much about this book and how many people loved it but I had NOT expected to love it as much as I did! One of the best books I read this year, definitely. + The epistolary style doesn’t often do it for me, but I wasn’t bothered by it this time at all! I really liked the artistic choices they made to present the different types of text and especially the way they made the pages from the AI’s perspective. This book was also funny and imaginative while also being subtly terrifying the whole time. It’s a war-love-mystery story in space and also zombies and it works. - Nothing big I can think of. Looking forward to the sequel.

SAMLADE DIKTER by EDITH SÖDERGRAN ★★★★☆ | 187 pages | 2 weeks to read | Published 2014 (1949)

I’ve been thinking I need to read more poetry in Swedish and I already knew I would probably like Södergran’s poems, so yeah. + They are written so beautifully and some of them really stand out to me. I’ve read poems like Vierge moderne and Violetta skymmningar... before, but it was nice reading even more. - There were parts - or years - of the book that I wasn’t at all interested in, while some really stood out to me.

BYGONE BADASS BROADS by MACKENZI LEE ★★★★★ | 176 pages | 9 days to read | Published 2018

+ I actually loved this way more than I thought I would? The real reason why I gave it five stars rather than four is that the illustrations and the colours were just SO beautiful??? Like, everything just looked great it made the reading experience even better. - I can’t really think of anything obvious to complain about. The writing in this book is supposed to be witty and stuff, so if you’re looking for a more “objective” book about women in history this is not for you, but it was still fun to read.

NÄR HUNDARNA KOMMER by JESSICA SHIEFAUER ★★☆☆☆ | 301 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2015

So this is a book I read with the class where I have my teacher’s practice. Normally, I probably wouldn’t have picked this book up ‘cause it’s not really my style, but now I had to read it and it wasn’t BAD...more like OK. + Shiefauer is a good writer in general - she has good language and writes different perspectives good. The most interesting thing about this book is that it’s sort of based on a real-life crime that happened in Sweden some time ago. - idk, I didn’t really care much for the characters and the main romance had me very frustrated (but I think that was the point?), and while it might be a good book to read in class with sixteen-year-olds it’s not something I would read by myself.

MY LADY JANE by CYNTHIA HAND, BRODI ASHTON & JODI MEADOWS ★★★★☆ | 491 pages | 4 days to read | Published 2016

Ahh, I finally got to read this! I’d looked forward to reading this so much and after asking my kind library bought it in! + It’s just here for a good time, you know? I mean, it’s a story about a queen that sat on the throne for a couple of days, a king that’s deathly ill, and a guy that turns into a horse every day - and it like...works? I’m amazed. The story was fun and easy to follow. - I felt like some things were just unnecessary? Like, I understood why they had to do some things but meh. It’s also hard to take this book seriously, but that’s not really overly negative. Am looking forward to read My Plain Jane.

MEN WHO HATE WOMEN AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM by SUSAN FORWARD ★★★★☆ | 301 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1986

I have no idea why I started to read this. I saw someone recommending it in a tumblr post together with a link to the ebook and went like “oh” and read during the entire day. + It’s very easy to read while still keeping it professional. It was easy to see Forward’s reasoning and the stories she had about women stuck in certain types of marriages were so...sad to read? I also liked most of the conclusions she had. Overall a very interesting book to read. - I didn’t notice at first but by the ending I realised some things were sort of dated (this was released in 86, so not that strange) and then there were other stuff I sort of stopped at but then thought maybe it’s a cultural difference? Not really big things.

RESTORE ME by TAHEREH MAFI ★★★☆☆ | 400 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

MAN, I wanted to like this book. I couldn’t believe when I heard the Shatter Me-trilogy would get another set of books. I was so happy! But...meh. + I feel like I don’t anything specific to put here but like the book is still FINE. Juliette’s powers are still cool, more ‘interesting’ characters gets introduced and the language is still Tahereh Mafi, you know? - BUT I honestly think I got so frustrated by the characters because I had let this series go. I read the third book, was satisfied by the ending and now I sort of have to wake up the feelings for the characters that I used to have. But they are not there and I just...found myself incredibly frustrated by all the characters. ALL OF THEM. Also some plot-point just feel so...B. Just give me a book with Juliette destroying stuff that’s what I want.

MOXIE by JENNIFER MATHIEU ★★★★☆ | 340 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

Wasn’t planning to read this. I saw it at the library one day and just picked it up and started reading. + Very entertaining and frustrating at the same time. I think the idea of Moxie was pretty cool and they came up with inventive ways to fight back; like drawing stars and hearts on their hands to show support, or take on bathrobes to protest against the school’s sexist dress codes. A cool book. - I didn’t care much for the romance - Like I understand why it was in there and it gave a really interesting perspective of certain things, but it would have been just as good if they’d just been friends, you know?

GIRLS OF PAPER AND FIRE by NATASHA NGAN ★★★☆☆ | 336 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

I got this beautiful book in a fairyloot box and was so excited to read it! Sadly, some things just wasn’t as good as I’d hoped. + Listen, the worldbuilding in this? Cool. Awesome. I’m really fascinated by the country’s history, religion and myths, and the different castes and different demons that exists in this world. It also has a f/f main pairing, and honestly? I’m here for that. - I’m not kidding when I say that while I was reading I thought “I’m probably going to give this like four stars” and probably would have if I didn’t hate the ending as much as I did. It felt rushed, unrealistic and also just crushed some of the things I’d thought would happen because I was so certain they were hinting at certain stuff during the entirety of the book. But no, didn’t happen. Okay.

BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS by FABIEN VEHLMANN & KERASCOËT ★★★★☆ | 94 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2009

A graphic novel I read while waiting in the library. It was surprisingly good! + So weird, but also so entertaining, horrifying, and fun to read? I love the artstyle - which manages to be cute but still manages to look really creepy when it’s supposed to. - Sometimes I struggled with what this graphic novel actually tried to say. And why did they kill the badass warrior-lesbian with a scissor-sword OFF-SCREEN!?

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @abovethesmokestacks for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Pia, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I started back in 2008 when I was 21 years old.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I do enjoy both, but lately it's been more reader inserts. It's challenge to write a good reader insert, to make them a natural part of the setting, to make them relatable to your audience and find a way to make them click with the other characters. Because they are meant to be a character you should be able to see yourself in, it tests your ability to make the character both approachable to a wide range of readers, yet specific enough to mesh with the story. 

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Well, I have been called the angst queen on numerous occasions. Apparently I am a sucker for making myself and others hurt. 

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Oh Jesus, probably one of the Twilight fics I wrote during the dark days of my ff.net run. I got swept up in the hype and with a few exceptions, I have no qualms about tossing those fics into a volcano. 

5) When is your preferred time to write?

When I have both inspiration, motivation and time. Sadly, sometimes that happens at night and let's just say I have sometimes sacrificed sleep in favour of a story. Generally, though, I don't have a preferred time of day.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

From anything and everything. Something I've seen or heard or experienced, videos I've seen, songs I've listened to.

7) In your Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavors fic, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

The final scenes of Assorted Flavours is close to my heart. Same with the scene in the Easy As Pie-chapter where they discuss Bucky's metal arm.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I haven't made major amendments. Someone may have pointed out typos or missing words which I have edited, but nothing storyline-wise. 

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

I am a sucker for a lot of Seb's characters, especially Bucky and Hal. And Chris Beck. They are fun to write and there is so much that can be done and explored with them. 

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

I wanna preface this by saying it's not so much I dislike them as I find them hard to write well. Tony and Thor hard for me to write because I can't seem to connect as easily with them as I can with other characters, and I'd hate to do these guys wrong.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavors?

This is the eternal struggle with me, to come up with a good title. I knew I wanted something that alluded to reader being a baker and one my Spotify playlist shuffled to Emily Browning's rendition of Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This). For the sequel series, I wanted to continue on the same theme, and my friend Loup helped me land on Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavours. 

12) How did you come up with the idea for Sweet Dreams - Assorted Flavours?

I am not entirely sure anymore, but it may have included a conversation about Bucky Barnes (or Seb, or both) and cupcakes, and evolved into an idea about Bucky finding a nightopen bakery during one of his nightly walks through Brooklyn (because obviously). 

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I have two. One is a Twilight fic that I abandoned and deleted when I left behind my ff.net account for good. It was never going to get finished and I didn't want any WIPs on the account. I didn't delete the account, it's basically there as an archive, but yeah. Deleted that story because I was never going to finish it. The second fic is a Gilmore Girls collab fic I started YEARS ago with a friend from Australia. It was put on hiatus when my friend started writing original fiction. That one I would love to finish, but I don't know how likely that is.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

None that I am really aching to do a sequel for. That being said, with the right inspiration, I could possibly nake a third fic in the little verse I created with Hal in Cling To Me and Cling To You.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Surprisingly, no. I've been happy with the endings to all of my fics.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Are we talking other fanfic writers or other fiction writers? For fanfic writers, just go into my fic rec tag. All of them are immensely talented in their own way. I will give special props to the writers of Not Easily Conquered because what they did with that series has fucked me up for life and I have the tattoo to prove it. For fiction writers, I do love Rowling for what she created with Harry Potter. I remember reading the books as they were published and just... I was mezmerized! I also love everything Neil Gaiman writes, it's dark and quirky and has that little something that takes hold of you. I can reread Pullman's His Dark Materials over and over just for the amazing world and mythology he created for that series. 

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I usually don't reread stories I haven't clicked with, so not really.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Both. I have a Bucky playlist on Spotify that I usually crank whenever I am writing a fic that features him. But I can just as well write in silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yes. I cried while writing With Him I Will Stay and Goodbye for example.

20) Which part of your Sweet Dreams fic was the hardest to write?

There wasn't one part that was specifically harder to write than others. I do sometimes get stuck on transitions, how to move from one scene to the next as smoothly as possible. If anything, writing Sweet Dreams has taught me that sometimes it's totally okay to just shift scenes and not make a big deal out of it. Not everything has to be complex.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Often I have a rough idea of how I want things to play out, focus points that I want to include that function as pit stops for me as I write. The only time I haven't made a clear outline was for Kintsugi. I let the prompt guide me and hopes like hell it made sense.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

That it's a process and you learn. I was so worried about writing perfectly. When I started out in the Gilmore Girls fandom and posting at ff.net, it was really common to have a beta reader. I was new, I had no one to beta read and I kept obsessing over getting things right until I realized that I didn't HAVE to have a beta reader and that yeah, I made mistakes but I could learn from them and from reading other what other people wrote.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Maybe Snapshots. Or my T.J fic. I love them both dearly.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Not to the point where it's an eye roll because I do like the attention my fics get. I was very surprised though by the amount of notes that flooded in for a drabble called Fight Night.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I haven't really made use of a lot of OC's. Aiden from Make Me Feel Like I'm Real is the only one that qualifies and with him it's all in how he looks. When I came up with him, I had a very vivid image of a man that looked like a mix of Donald Glover and Daveed Diggs. His personality came quite naturally as he started interacting more with T.J.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

There are so many that have made me blush so hard. One that I remember very vividly was when @lostinthoughtsandfeelings-blog commented on Soft Devotion that it made them feel the same kind of empowerment that the Wonder Woman soundtrack evoked!

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I have been very lucky so far in the criticism that I've gotten. Mostly it's just been typos or something similar that's been pointed out. When I started out on ff.net there were a few who commented that they didn't understand where I was going with a certain story. I think for one fic I got a comment about having dragged it out for too long, but that's about it.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I do share some of them, simply because I get excited about them or because it's an idea that comes from a conversation that ends with "I need to fic this!!"

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My husband knows, but he doesn't really know what it is (despite my attempts to explain). A few of my old school mates know I write, but otherwise no. I don't really talk about writing fan-fiction with people outside the fandoms I write for.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

I love Steve's parts in Sweet Dreams, and anything that involves Sam.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

If I'm writing a series, the feedback from previous chapters do so much to encourage me. Feedback in general motivates me. I often ask friends to give me feedback on certain scenes or passages while I write and seeing their excitement does a lot to help me push through and finish.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

AUs and A/B/O for sure.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I can't remember exactly which one, but it was a Gilmore Girls fic.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I'd love to say fluff, but angst just hurts so good, and getting screamed at in caps-lock is kinda fun.

[daybyjae]

The Need to Read

Why the need to read:

I made the concrete decision to read more this year. I know what you're thinking. Is this about to be another anti-resolution resolution just like her previous post on being less sedentary?

The simple answer is yes. I am again adding improvements to my life that happened to pick up in January, but these started before the new year.

In 2020, I was already reading more than I had been in 2019.

In middle school I was one of those kids who would pull all nighters just to read. Then I started to fall into what I called a "readers block". I stopped feeling drawn to reading. I was at the age where I started to grow tired of typical YA novels but I didn't want to read any adult nonfiction. I knew that I had options beyond what I was aware of but I still felt hesitant. In the recent years of my early twenties I had started to pick up books more often but the real turning point was, as most things in the 2020, the coronavirus pandemic. With an influx of lonely idle time I wanted something to educate me or escape through.

At the end of 2020 I slowly began to read less as securing jobs in the midsts of a pandemic is all consuming. However, once I began commuting to work more I realized that I didn't have enough podcasts to fill the time. So I thought to myself why not get into audiobooks, at this point I had never listened to an audiobook before. As shocking as that is it is telling of how picky I was for my mode of reading. I also wasn't sure where to start this journey as the most popular audiobook source is audible and I try my best to limit the money I give to Amazon. Since, I wanted to read more in general I was also looking into e-readers and was reminded that libraries loan out both ebooks and audiobooks!

This led to me trying out the Libby app with my local library. The first book I listened to was Becoming by Michelle Obama.

Listening to Audiobooks:

Becoming was the best way introduction to audiobooks. Having the author read their own story was super engaging. It was immediately a superior experience to simply reading a paperback. Sadly, this level of enjoyment wasn't my experience with all the audiobooks that I listened to in January.

I wouldn't have read the 2nd audiobook if it wasn't read to me. I didn't make any immediate connections with the writing, author or reader and was a tinge turned off. I would have put the book down if I was taking time out of my day to sit and read it. Instead I continued to listen to it on my commute to and from work. I ended up liking the book at the end and appreciated the ease of simply listening.

This disconnect was due to the difficulties of following complexities without actually reading the text. Maybe that is because I am a visual learner but when topics got intricate and detailed it was hard to follow and stay in line. I felt as though I didn't fully absorb some lessons and stories, rereading might be necessary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRL6KeYxAm8

Showcasing the Libby app and my Notion Reading List.

Reading ebooks:

The only ebook I read from the Libby app was Good Omens. This book was chosen as I knew and loved the Amazon Prime series adaptation.

I was wary of reading on my phone for multiple reasons. One of those being that I strongly dislike reading on LED screens, the bright blue light is too much for me. I even keep a blue light filter on all of my devices at all times. The second reason I was wary is the simple fact that a phone is not a book. I miss flipping pages, seeing my bookmark progress through the book and the excitement of seeing that I am halfway through the pages. Due to this wariness I chose a book that I knew I'd enjoy.

Even though I loved the book I struggled to feel motivated to read from the app. I will continue to read ebooks here and there but I will definitely be listening to more audiobooks.

I am considering rereading my favorite audiobooks as text so who knows I might begin to thoroughly enjoy it. It'll probably be easier if I chose to read on a tablet and then page sizes would seem more realistic.

The Need for Speed:

While I am typically a fast reader and listening to an audiobook for an hour seems easy I strongly dislike feeling rushed.

With Libby your hold last 2 weeks. This is usually more than enough time for me but I was overdoing it. I would have 2 to 3 books on hold at a time and the need to crunch down on finishing them in time for the next was intense. I've not renewed any loans but that's because most of the books I chose to read where popular and on hold for others. If renewal was more of an option I would have taken it.

Slow and steady is the best pace for winning the race and reading.

The Slow Down:

If I'm being honest, I over did it.

I was reading too much in January and the beginning of February. Racing for knowledge isn't the best for retaining nor is it good for the reflection that most of the books I was reading suggested. Because of this realization and the fear of burning out from reading I will be slowing my pace. I will try to stick to one book a week. This will allow more time for reflection and slow absorption of the material. I will start back up with an ebook as those are a slower process than audiobooks.

A healthy balance is key in every aspect of life, including reading and the accumulation of knowledge.

The Books that I Read in January:

Becoming, by Michelle Obama (love this for her)

How Google Works, by Eric Schmidt & Jonathan Rosenberg (took me months to finally finish)

Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (the show was really well adapted)

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, by Mark Manson (the one that I almost put down)

Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, by Neil DeGrasse Tyson (this book was a blur of complexities)

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo (not sure if I'd declutter it or not if purchased)

The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg (not personal, v informational)

Atomic Habit, by James Clear (referenced the previous book quite a bit)

[inktae]

Ok so I think I’m honestly just going to submit this because this is probably going to be long and the ask box can be a bit annoying.

So here we go ^^

If both story and writing style are important to you YOU NEED to check out the handmaids tale by margaret atwood! I don’t think there are many authors who combine the two as well as she does tbh. Tht is a bit slow paced (but NOWHERE near as much as atlwcs) but her writing is honestly everything and the atmosphere! Oh my gosh she’s so good at creating the right atmosphere. You know how dystopias often feel kind of unrealistic? This one feels scarily plausible (atwood actually didn’t include anything that didn’t exist somewhere at some point in history) and honestly with the way politics are atm, it’s actually pretty relevant. Her main character isn’t some badass bitch that conspires to take down the system either but a breathing flawed human being who feels incredibly real.

Also literary fiction but with a completely different approach are life after life by kate atkinson and station eleven by emily st. john mandel. I’ve read lal some time ago but I just remember being absolutely hooked. Super shortly put it’s about the main character (a woman born in 1910) who gets to live her life again and again with full knowledge of her previous lives. The story is super engaging and addictive and the plot is so so intricately constructed. Her style is really elegant but the structure’s even more so, there are so many timelines (taking place in alternative realities nonetheless) and so many recurrent themes but she makes it work so well! It also asks some really interesting questions about the definition of living a “right” life, individual responsibility and how much agency an individual really has and how much in life is up to circumstances/out of a persons hand.

Station eleven is about so many things at once but it mainly takes place in north america in the time during and after an apocalypse (not the dramatic zombie kind, but it’s literally just some flue if I remember correctly). It has a lot of different povs and timelines but as in lal it’s awe inspiringly elegantly organized. A central theme is definitely the importance of stories and storytelling for humanity as well as individuals, for example the book focuses partly on a shakespearian theatre company touring the post apocalyptical usa, but there are also multiple narratives relating to a comic book (it’s creator, it’s consumers, the people who derive meaning from it), an aspiring actor in the days before the apocalypse and the cost of fame etc and all the narratives are related to another and slowly come together as the novel progresses.

For space related stuff: consider checking out the book of strange new things by michel faber. The synopsis sounds incredibly weird, it’s literally about a priest assigned to convert aliens who has to leave his wife back on earth for his mission. But it’s actually equal parts literary and science fiction and a metaphor for the relationship between the author and his wife who was dying of cancer as he wrote the book (I honestly cried as I read the interview in which he said that). It’s super hard to describe so you should probably just read some reviews to get a feel for it. Ah and it’s also very readable if you aren’t religious even though the main character is a priest (I’m not religious and really enjoyed it and I’m pretty sure the author himself is an atheist (it deals very respectfully with religion though)). I think I like it slightly less than tht, lal and station eleven but it’s still a really great book and the concept is really something else and it’s space related too, so I figured why not include it. Also the covers of the canongate versions are gorgeous af (and maybe the reason I bought it in the first place)

I’ve only ever read the german translation (the original is czech I think), but if you are into books with more of a philosophical approach read the unbearable lightness of being by milan kundera! I read this like three years ago and I have no idea how to summarise this but it’s really interesting

Another author I’ve only ever read in german is italo calvino (originally italian) of whom I really enjoyed if on a winters night a traveller and invisible cities. Invisible cities is a novella/poetry collection so it’s probably not everyone’s sort of thing but I really enjoy the images he creates. and ioawnat is really something else (it’s also written in 2nd person and I read it before I started reading fanfiction, so I found it very hard to get into at first). I really enjoyed the way he plays with different writing styles and the narrative structure (which is super complex, it’s sort of a book in a book in a book in a book…?) and it’s kind of a postmodern classic, so reading it does make you feel smart lol, but I probably wouldn’t recommend it if you’re in a reading slump, since calvino isn’t very plot or character driven.

Idk if you are into comics/graphic novels, but if yes: the sandman by neil gaiman! The first few issues are a bit weaker than the rest but it’s probably the best fantasy related series I’ve ever read. also if you should read it start with the main series and none of the prequels/spinoffs, it gets super confusing otherwise, and the artist changes all few issues/each arc to reflect the mood of the story which I think is super cool.

Space related and also comics/graphic novels: saga by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples, ok this one is super hard to summarise but imagine romeo and juliet in space paired with star wars and game of thrones? The art is probably my favorite ever but it’s also very explicit and gory (think game of thrones) which honestly took me a while to get used to (but I’m also a bit of a chicken when it comes to this stuff). It’s really really good though and the plot keeps you on edge, unlike sandman the series is still ongoing though.

Also wuthering heights by emily bronte is one of the best things ever written, just saying.

Aaaand if you are into chick flick/cutesy stuff fangirl by rainbow rowell is great!

I can’t believe this got so long, ugh I’m powerless against procrastination sdhfjkl :’). Anyways I hope some of these sound at least kind of interesting to you!

- coffee

DAMN I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW ALL THESE RECS OMG -

okay, I am definitely intrigued by the handmaids tale. I tried not to read the reviews too much but they seemed to find the plot quite compelling and that definitely caught my attention. also, someone commented about the blind assassin by the same author. have you read this one? it seems quite interesting as well :)

oh boy, life after life sounds very interesting. I saw a few reviews and they seem mixed, but I am still going to keep it in mind. and station eleven... I read the summary and !!! I love it already!! I adore apocalyptic universes and this seems to be a very original take on it. I might read this one first. ^^

ALSO ADULT SCI-FI, THANK YOU FOR THAT REC. yes it’s strange, and that’s what draws me to this book. :)) oh and I did read milan kundera’s book a few years back! it was actually a school assignment, and I ended up enjoying it a lot. I should give it another try though, because I think I would understand it differently now. 

also!!! neil gaiman!! I’ve had his books on pending for ages, so thank you for reminding me about him. even though I have never read a graphic novel, I do enjoy mangas so I’ll probably enjoy this one quite a lot. ^^

AJLSD I THINK A FRIEND ACTUALLY READ SAGA AND WAS REALLY ENJOYING IT. the reviews are also astonishing! will def keep it in mind as well. 

emily bronte is another author I’ve had in my pendings for a while (sorry sorry) and even though I haven’t read fangirl, I do know the author and I remember enjoying eleanor & park when I was younger. I might give it a try, even though I’m not sure if I’ll enjoy her style in the same way now :’D

anyway, thank you for all these recs. I think the handmaid’s tale and station eleven are on top of the list (for now). it depends on what I can find though - since I want to buy books in english and sadly it’s not that easy to find them here ;; but I’ll let you know if I get one of these in my hands!! :)

[givencontext]

Self Help Fest

In the first half of this year, I read 27 books. Twelve of those were non-fiction books that I think qualify as “self help.” Maybe a better way of describing these books is to say they are for my personal or professional development, but isn’t that just trying to put a spin on the fact that I am, in fact, trying to help my Self. I have always enjoyed this type of book ever since I read I’m Okay, You’re Okay in high school. I have seriously considered joining or starting a Self Help book club. Here are the books and how much they helped me. (All book title headers in this post are links!)

  Sabbatical from YES by Christi Daniels

This book is written by my dear friend Christi. She’s an amazing woman who has found her calling helping other women tap into their own amazingness. I have worked with Christi’s coaching before and I feel like I am pretty good at saying NO, so I wondered how much more I could gain from reading her book. Lots! This is a workshop in book form and it will be as helpful as you let it be by taking her advice and trying out her suggestions. Will your family think you are crazy if they walk in while you are practicing your power pose? Just explain that they should try it too! One of my favorite sections is when she contrasts synthetic vs true pleasure. I believe her when she says we all need an infusion of vitamin P (pleasure.) She says,”It is our right and duty to soak up as much real and sacred pleasure as we can.” Yes, please! Sometimes in life we just need a reminder or “permission.” Granted! So many yummy tidbits in this book. Get it, do the work, see for yourself!

You Are a Badass Every Day by Jen Sincero

This book is meant to be a daily reader that you peruse and ponder, but I got it from the library, so I only had 14 days to read it. This is the third Jen Sincero book that I’ve read in the past year-ish. Last year I read both You Are a Badass and You Are a Badass at Making Money I think the money one was my favorite, because it had less rehashing of some of the same “positive vibe” stuff that I get from a lot of sources. It’s always good to have those positive vibes reinforced, but there does tend to be a lot of overlap in this genre. The money making perspective was a refreshing change. And we have to change the way that we as women think and talk about money. I can’t recall if Sincero gives the old “latte” advise or not, but at least she’s a woman talking about money. #props The Every Day book is nice short snippets and my favorite piece of advice involves driving away from civilization, rolling up your car windows, and screaming bloody murder at the top of your lungs for three whole minutes. Try it.

Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin

This is another of my annual re-reads. This book had a profound effect on my life a few years ago and put me in the right frame of mind to start Bright Line Eating. Understanding myself as a Rebel help me feel less frustration with myself. BTB also introduces a lot of either/or scenarios that help me understand more about myself and others. For instance, did you know we aren’t all morning people? Did you know it’s easier for some people to abstain from something entirely (like sugar) than it is for them to moderate their intake? I’ve been through this book 3 or 4 times now, but I always benefit from listening to it again.

The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

This is a newer book where Gretchen takes a deep dive into each of her Four Tendencies. You get further details on the strengths and weaknesses of each tendency, and explanations of how those two are usually the same thing. There are also great tips on how your tendency typically interacts with others in certain relationships. For instance, my spouse is also a Rebel… I gained some valuable insight there! This one really begs to be owned as a sort of reference manual. You will want this at your fingertips for when you are trying to figure people out. Rubin is good about reminding us that this is only one aspect of a person’s personality, but it covers a lot of ground. Start with Better Than Before, then this one. You can thank me later.

Dark Horse by Todd Rose and Ogi Ogas

Dark Horse was recommended to me because of my aforementioned Rebel tendency. This book is about people who work around the “standardization covenant” to pursue fulfillment and thereby gain their own version of “success.” I loved it, but one time through is not going to be enough. Originally, I got DH from the library, but soon I was downloading it from Audible so I can listen on repeat until it all sinks in. This is a different paradigm and there are a lot of deep-seated ideas that are hard to overcome, even if they are making us miserable. I am one of those people who has no idea what my purpose in life is, so I need to spend a lot more time on that chapter about micro-motives. If you are unhappy with the daily grind, I highly recommend this one for you.

Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight

The best thing about this book was that it really made me feel like I have my sh*t together. I think the target audience for this book is slightly younger than I am. Obviously I chose this book because I felt like I needed to get it together, but much of the advice was stuff I could put a check mark next to because I am already doing it. My least favorite part was probably the section giving weight loss advice from someone who hasn’t had a real struggle in this area. The “all things in moderation” advice is out of date. Sarah Knight needs to read Better Than Before and recognize that people are different and what works for some people won’t work for all people. She also gives the “skip the latte” line around money and goes into great detail about how this will get you where you want to go. F that! She doesn’t claim to be an expert in nutrition or finance, so these sections are basically the same-old-same-old regurgitation of the same old advice that hasn’t helped you yet if you are reading a book looking for advice on those things… I do think there is some good stuff in here, especially for people who are able to separate the wheat from the chaff and decide which tips will get them closer to their personal goals. My favorite take-away was the What/Why method… and feeling much better about how together I am. Thank you, Sarah.

The Power of Style by Bobbie Thomas

When I was at the library (one of my happy places) to work on my First Quarter Goal Review, I was pulling books off the shelves that had images that inspire me and reinforce those goals. While I was looking for books on design, architecture, art, and beauty this book called out to me. I took it to the table where I opened and arranged various books while filling out my planner then when it was time to go home I took this book with me. I do not consider myself a stylish person. Having lived nearly all of my adult life overweight, my style has always been if-it-fits-and-it’s-cheap-buy-it. I did have some fun experimenting when I subscribed to Gwynnie Bee for several years, but as soon as I cancelled that I quickly went into “black pants” mode. Bobbie Thomas promised to help me with that, and I like her approach. We often hear that we should dress for the job we want to have, but Bobbie proposes that we dress as the person we want to be. My only problem is that I seldom want to be the same person two days in a row. This book made me think about my style, but I did not become anyone’s favorite style icon overnight. Baby steps, right? I am thinking of investing in some florals. Stay tuned.

Radical Candor by Kim Scott

I mostly skimmed this one, and I never do that with a book. I would suggest getting the Cliffs Notes version of this one. If you like podcasts, they have one. I felt like I didn’t need so many examples. There’s some good stuff in here, but some people will need personality transplants to make it happen. I might be one of those people. I have to admit that this book sparks my perfectionist tendencies and makes me want to analyze every word I say to everyone at work. That’s no way to live.

Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson

This one might not really be a self help book, but Lawson does give some advice for how to live a happy life. Some of the stories are just hilarious. I appreciate Jenny’s candidness about her struggles with mental illness. That is what drew me to this book. That being said, there were at least two things in the book that I think I would have kept to myself if I were her. She didn’t. She lays it all out. I think my favorite take-away from this book was not something of Jenny’s but something that she shares that Neil Gaiman said to her. Of course I’m dreadfully jealous that she gets to say “my friend, Neil” but when she was freaked out and feeling inadequate to the task of reading her own audiobook, he told her to “pretend you’re good at it.” Brilliant!

For other references to Neil Gaiman, who I have talked about in my blog more times than Oscar Wilde, so I should probably change my answer on that “favorite author” thing… I mention him in posts here, here, and here, so far. Sadly, my only reference to Oscar Wilde was here.

Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D.

I don’t remember many details about this book, but I gave it four stars on Goodreads, so I must have liked it. Seligman is a big name in positive psychology, so he’s a good resource for this kind of stuff. I think he is so often referenced that I had heard most of his main points before, which may be why I have trouble recalling them now. It can’t hurt to have a refresher on how to actively pursue happiness. I might have to give this one another go.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

I talked about this book in my post about Audiobooks I Solemnly Swear to Listen to Once Each Year and I started the year with it. I know this book is a little dated, but it has been the go-to resource for everyone who writes books about money, so this gets straight to the source material. My current employer is also one of the great American success stories, so I totally geek out on that part every time. Perhaps my favorite thing about this book is that Hill acknowledges that there’s very little relationship between hard work and monetary reward. I subscribe to the “everything doesn’t always have to be hard” and “flowers don’t *try* to bloom” philosophies. I still think this book is worth repeating until I finally get that mental shift he prescribes. Old ways of thinking die hard.

Dare to Lead by Brene Brown

I like what Brene does, and this book takes some of her best stuff and applies it where it is sorely needed – the workplace. She talks about shifts that need to happen in workplace/corporate culture to make it more conducive to courage and vulnerability. She doesn’t say it, but can we just admit that she’s talking about doing away with toxic masculinity and having a more inclusive culture? Yes, please, thank you. There is also some really good stuff in here about what leadership means and that you do not have to be in a position of authority to be a leader. Years ago when I was a supervisor, I went through a frustrated phase at work. Somehow I got the idea to tell myself every day when I got in the car: I’m not going to work, I’m going to lead. It changed how I viewed my daily responsibilities and was very quickly reflected in my attitude and performance.

Brene also suggests thinking about your core values and narrowing them to just two main ones to focus on. If you read this post, you know that I already have mine narrowed to three. Call me a Rebel, (a la, The Four Tendencies mentioned above,) but I am going to keep all three of mine. It is a good reminder to have a couple (or a few) things to use as filters for what gets into your life. This leads us to BOUNDARIES. When you know your core values and keep them simple, it’s easier to set boundaries and hold yourself and others accountable to maintaining them. This is a fantastic book for an office book club. Highly recommend.

Leave a comment to let me know your favorite self help book or a recent one you have read.

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[braindamageforbeginners]

A Brief Recap of the Holidays

The usual advice I’ve heard authors give on how to follow in their steps - from Neil Gaiman to Ray Bradbury (yes, I have met both of them)(in retrospect, I’ve had such an insane amount of informal training as a writer that I kind of wonder where I found the time to get a post-grad degree), is “Don’t” I used to take that as a warning that there was no set career-path for writers - which I still think is true, but, now, I’m pretty sure they were warning me against the sort of lifestyle it takes to develop artistic skills and stories unique and worth hearing. I don’t mean drugs or anything as simple or easy as drugs, insanity, or violence (apologies to Hunter Thompson), or the horrors of poverty - you can recreate those things. What you can not recreate is being a weird lightning-rod for events and characters that seem to plague an interesting life.

Case in point, my car exploding. Like everything else I write about, that’s much less metaphorical than I would like.

So, one of the problems with A Year of Chemo is that American society places an unbelievable status to mobility. I mean actual point A to B travel, not economic mobility (which is stagnating, but I have high hopes for the presidents’ new plan to move us to a femur-backed economic/monetary system). Just as I go to the gym and get more sleep and psychotically monitor what I eat, I thought this could be solved with some planning and foresight. Again, I really should know at this point that the word “plan” is a four-letter word that inevitably results in blood, flames, and tears. Especially when I’m in the same zip code.

Mother Dearest and myself schemed up a new way to deliver my ancient Honda, the Suicide Machine (I remember when I gave it that name as an off-hand nod to Springsteen’s “Thunder Road,” not a grim predictor of my own gruesome fate) to me in the final stages of treatment. I realize that sounds a little dramatic, so I should say that, apart from a hang-up at the pharmacy that’s delayed my Temodar by a day (the Warlocks, being Warlocks, just kind of shrugged about that and told me that starting the SOC cycle a day off wasn’t a big deal)(based on the warning I got during radiation that I was being so accurate in keeping my radiation days and chemo synced up, it actually chewed up the built-in margin-of-error for brain cancer treatment), everything is on-track and I’m still mostly-on-schedule to be released back into the wild in late January (although I will need to be back in an MRI every two months, with further treatment as-needed). Which means that, yes, this is the last two months of a year that has been unbelievably and undeniably terrible and expensive, but also extraordinary and illuminating (if only to underscore my growing realization/fear that my first, best destiny is as a writer). So, in a last victory push, my car somehow got some weird debris in it and died. Literally. While driving from Mom’s house (again, this whole horrific thing got started so suddenly and weirdly that I literally had to leave my vehicle in another state while getting appropriate medical care), I felt (and heard) what I initially thought was a tire blow-out. Further inspection revealed that, no, it wasn’t; it was some mystery malady that made the whole thing undriveable. It would seem that yet another project requiring weeks of planning and prep went up in thin air. I tell you, anything involving more than 48 hours’ notice is a fool’s bet.

I even was going to put up some photos of my early publishing attempts; sadly, I can’t even find the stupid transfer stick. BUT, at least the Temodar came through today, so, I can start that - hang on - today, and it will end just in time for Tuesday’s festivities. So the blog may be less-than-the-usual coherent until then,

BUT, all the aggravation and drama is worth it - well, it’s not worth it, it’s just coincidental (unless I am being smoted) because I did get a clean scan. For those of you worried about how you’ll react when you’re in the hot seat, I know only one thing with certainty - if you’re like me and every single cancer patient and survivor, scan days will be among the very worst of your life. I’m on heavy-duty psych meds to keep functional, but there’s still nothing that dampens that raw fear (admittedly, I haven’t tried heroin, but doubt it would improve much, especially since morphine makes me sick)(the things you find out about yourself in a medical crisis!). Everybody (okay, so people unfamiliar with the idea of an invisible illness) tries to cheer me up by pointing out I look super-healthy, I haven’t had any new cancer-related symptoms! Which, yeah, would work, if they didn’t describe me at Tumor #1, at Tumor #2, at Tumor #3, and the life-limiting discovery that Tumor #3 was at Stage 3, and no longer eligible for vaccine-based treatments. The discovery that it wasn’t stage III, but full-blown, metastatic glioblastoma was also somewhat unforeseen. When you have a body - a life, really - that completely defies the expected - even what you expected, telling them not to worry, or that it should okay is hardly effective.