#Scheming in Freestyle

[simcardiac-arrested]

never volunteer for anything university related man. also go listen to this

[prehnite-soul]

surprise surprise, drawing Rowan is a comfort project for me now

funfact: I like to think Rowan would chirp and squeak like moths do, especially before he starts to talk properly

also, I finally decided to try some shading, are you proud now @soophiathewriter ??

[[ @valrayne-faeu belongs to @antlered-knight & @owl-bones ]]

[[ Rowan belongs to me ]]

[hiddenbeks]

i miss heidrun and gore :(

[mishalikessoundsandcolours]

I'm making a thing in art and it's going pretty fun, but why did my ass have to go so detailed, this is gonna take me a very long time

Yeah

But our teacher set that if we don't finish it next lesson we can finish it at home in a week, so I'm just gonna do sit down for 20 hours or so

[stealthrockdamage]

i have to emulate xenoblade x one day if only so i can hear black tar

[throwedgenji]

GOING OFF ON TWITCH FREESTYLING INTERNAL RHYMES ON HARD TRAP TYPE BEAT

[mercuriobebop]

Full pics from the fake screenshot I did.

I wanted to capture Klaasje in my own style, but faster, so I did it with a mix of my most comfortable digital tools (ignore these took me months because of life issues). Also this was a challenge that got completely out of hand: Day 6 of Sapphic Disco Week - Freestyle

The custom version wasn't broken from the start, but the facets through cracks and the chance to make them look like a disco ball seemed like a good idea to me. Also hiding behind his many passports while holding THE rifle gives her story a twist.

The hedonistic disco version I think is seen through Ruby's eyes, how much of a party girl she is and how much she enjoys the little moments of debauchery. A ricocheting danger of sorts.

For the hypervigilant pragmatist I thought as a consequence version of her many lies but also her struggle as a survivor. I think she would feel watched by both the living and the dead, but that won't stop her.

The scheming archetype was the first one I did, I interpreted a small spot on her portrait as a mole so that her many faces as a spy would be legible. In addition I also wanted a pose that felt both open yet coiled, just before pouncing on someone's throat.

[holyblonded]

more of kristie being the strict parent? maybe including the new baby?

— kristie has a calm but undeniably firm tone that makes chickie freeze mid-scheme. sam will be all “let her figure it out,” and kristie’s already standing in the doorway like, “she’s currently duct-taping a skateboard to a stroller, sam.”

— chickie has learned to recognize the look kristie gives when she’s disappointed. she’d rather run wind sprints for a week than get that look. sam, meanwhile, is unfazed until kristie gives her the look too.

— jagger starts crying and sam’s like, “aw, bub, you’re fine,” and kristie appears with precision bottle timing, scoops him up and gives sam a “he’s hungry, not dramatic” eyebrow raise. chickie snickers. kristie turns to her and just raises one eyebrow. snickering ends.

— kristie is the keeper of all bedtime routines. jagger has his set lullaby playlist, bath time schedule, temperature-checked bottle, and specific blankie. sam tries to freestyle once and gets banned from bedtime for a week. chickie supports this ruling fully because kristie’s bedtime snacks are way better.

— chickie tries to sneak jagger into a mini photoshoot wearing a onesie that says “future male tillie,” and sam is like, “cute!” and kristie is like, “he’s seven weeks old. let him nap. he’s also american.” she lets them take two photos, then scoops the baby back like a strict but gentle hawk.

— kristie’s the one who enforces proper meals. chickie’s reaching for cereal at 4pm and kristie appears like a ghost of nutritional judgment, slides a plate with protein, veggies, and a complex carb in front of her without saying a word.

— chickie once said, “what’s he gonna do, tell on me?” about jagger when she almost dropped an f-bomb near the crib. kristie didn’t even speak. she just walked over, handed chickie a parenting book for siblings, and walked away.

— sam and chickie built a couch fort. jagger is chilling in a pillow throne. kristie comes home, stares at the living room warzone, and just sighs deeply. but she doesn’t dismantle it. instead, she moves one pillow so jagger is more supported, says “thirty more minutes, then clean,” and walks off like a benevolent ruler.

— kristie has a deep understanding of chickie’s past and doesn’t take her no-nonsense role lightly. she isn’t harsh, she’s consistent. chickie thrives under it. when she snaps or gets overwhelmed, kristie’s already making her tea and silently handing her a hoodie.

— chickie says “you’re being mean” with a pout one night when kristie stops her from eating ice cream and watching horror movies at midnight. kristie kisses her on the head and says, “you’ll thank me when you’re not crying and sugar-crashing at training tomorrow.” (she was right. chickie never admits it.)

— chickie thinks kristie’s scary sometimes, but she also thinks she’s magic.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy pride! More hokage daughter?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Orochimaru wants to know what the hell Minato was thinking setting up the exam to be like this, but after his little stunt in his office, he figures he shouldn’t push his luck.

Still. He’s a kage, and now he’s got to hang around for weeks while the kids train or do whatever? At least he has people to visit here, what did he expect the other kages to do?

Whatever. Oto is much more efficient. Maybe next exam he’ll actually invite Minato so he can see how a proper one is run.

“What’s got you in such a mood?”

He glances up at Sarutobi, the old man biting the end of his pipe as he looks over their go board. “What makes you think I’m in a mood?”

“You usually would have won by now,” he says, eyes crinkling at the corners.

He glances down at the board and huffs. “Maybe I just want to extend our time together.”

“Yes, I’m so busy in my retirement, no time at all for you anymore,” he continues. He’s gotten bitchy in his retirement, actually. “I’m glad to see you back here. All three of you. But you didn’t need to.”

“It’s fine.” Sarutobi probably knows full well that he has spies in Konoha, besides Anko who hardly counts, but there’s no need to risk Kabuto by mentioning it.

He sighs and moves another piece. “You scheming never ends well.”

That is simply not true. “I founded a village.”

“I meant for me,” he says, grinning around his pipe.

That, Orochimaru concedes, is true.

~

Tsume looks over her students, already resigned.

Minato had torn her head off after the matches were announced. Really, if he was going to be like this, he never should have allowed his daughter to become a ninja in the first place. Not that it would have stopped her, probably, but it at least would have spared Tsume the headache.

“All right,” she sighs. “Sakura, I’m going to ruin your life for the next couple weeks and completely ignore the others. I assume that’s fine?”

Naruto places the back of her hand to her forehead. “Oh, Sensei, how could you abandon us so? Leaving me and poor Sasuke all on our lonesome.”

Sasuke isn’t even a thought to her. She’s sure he and Neji have already met up to choreograph a fight that puts all their best skills on display, although she assumes they’ll freestyle the end to determine the winner since she can’t see either of them conceding. Unless Naruto sticks her nose in.

Speaking of.

“You have a plan, right?” she says to her. “Please tell me you have a plan.”

She could train her too, but not effectively, not how she needs to be trained. Because Tsume knows damn well that Naruto has abilities and skills that she keep to herself, and she hadn’t needed seeing her perform her father’s Flash to figure that out.

“I have a plan,” she says confidently.

Sakura winces and Sasuke rubs the bridge of his nose.

Great.

[paper-mario-wiki]

What is your favorite bar from the myriad of good bars from Kendrick Lamar involving drake, i.e. Euphoria, Meet the Grahams, & Not Like Us?

note: when I say "Drake" I mean the constructed pop star. when I say "Aubrey" I mean the human being and actor behind the narrative that is "Drake".

Euphoria my favorite bar from this track is the whole "I'm the biggest hater" refrain. i like it because that singular section alone completely obliterated Taylor Made Freestyle. by paraphrasing the late DMX's famous quote about Drake, he is demonstrating how you can respectfully and powerfully use words from the mouths of dead predecessors to discredit your opponent, further showing how much of a stupid tactless clown-show popstar-turned-con-artist Aubrey Graham is in using the AI mockery of Tupac's voice to taunt Kendrick, the current voice of the West Coast and-- to many-- the people's successor to Pac.

6:16 in LA with a slightly lighter tone than the other disses, i consider this song to be a person to person sit-down and final warning to Aubrey that Kendrick is willing to provide. he explains that OVO is full of moles and wires, Aubrey is being hustled with nobody on his side, and going as far as saying "you can't sleep, these images trouble you" hinting at the fact that he would be going after Drake's personal failings that he thinks about when he goes home at night and stops being Drake. which he totally did in meet the grahams. also, bonus points to my favorite rhyme scheme in the song, just cuz it's so much fun to say:

Your lil memes is losin' steam, they figured you out The forced opinions is not convincin', y'all need a new route

like, what a perfect little two-bar rhyme scheme.

meet the grahams in this song, the most powerful lyrics to me (and the ones that usually make me start tearing up) are the ones where Kendrick stops being sorrowful and starts being angry.

You a body shamer, you gon' hide them baby mamas, ain't ya? You embarrassed of 'em, that's not right, that ain't how mama raised us Take that mask off, I wanna see what's under them achievements, Why believe you? You never gave us nothin' to believe in

this reminds me of every traumatic scolding i ever received as a child. i think that the word "disappointed" isn't strong enough to convey the feeling here. something closer would be "let down", because Kendrick's whole thing recently has been peace and uplifting people. he was willing to tolerate the competition for the game, but there were so many times that he warned Drake to not mention Kendrick's family. ultimately, in this stage of their careers, what they were fighting for was not fame or power, it was their legacy. they were fighting over how they were going to be remembered, and Kendrick was not about to let his pacifism make him passive in watching someone pretending to be a part of his culture stain how he will be written about in the records of Hip-Hop history. in specific, i love the line "take that mask off, i wanna see what's under them achievements" because he is BEGGING Audrey to respond honestly, as himself. he is begging him to cast off the facade of "Drake" and speak with any amount of dignity, because at this point there was no more room to speculate on whether or not he actually was who he claimed to be with regards to his music. at this point, the consensus was pretty thoroughly in the camp of "the actor Audrey Graham has been co-opting the image of the American Rapper for his career".

Not Like Us i think i love the bar "he has all eyes on me and imma send it up to Pac" because it goes back to the core of what this is about to Kendrick in fighting for legacy. the media, specifically the white dominated media, sucks the culture (that is to say, Black culture) dry for all it's worth monetarily, and in the process there have been many twisted caricatures or unfair narratives left in the wake of black creatives who are no longer alive to defend their own names. there's an entire tangent about how tabloids disproportionately affect black creatives due to the very fact that white supremacy discounts the respect these names have to the (largely un-melinated) higherups in hollywood, and as a result there is less PR dedicated to keeping their image clean, but i think im not qualified to go off on it. the point is, Drake disrespected Pac's legacy (and continues to do so by owning his ring, really, instead of having it be in the possession of someone who's at least from the west coast), and Kendrick wanted to put some honor on his name. he made sure that he was not just mentioned in the shameful (Taylor Made) and angry (euphoria) parts of this beef, but also its most triumphant moment.

[cassiasims]

cameron and chase were definitely in on wilson’s scheme to trick house into admitting he misses his original fellows which begs the question: which one of them came up with it. chase is the first one to give up and make it clear that he’s Real And Actually In The Hospital (and this is also the start of his rebellious teen ‘no house i will NOT help you at work’ phase) which makes me think it wasn’t him and was either cameron or wilson. personally i think it was cameron who masterminded it (not really expecting it to go as far as it did) but wilson was the one who committed to the bit and freestyled the whole ‘and btw cameron and chase moved to arizona and got engaged’ thing and cameron does not know about this until house makes a crack about her not wearing her engagement ring a couple of days later. at which point she is so visibly horrified that he immediately realises the truth. (house lets her blame chase for it though)

[nananarc]

Dragon Age The Veilguard Tag Game!

Rules:

✨ Write 5 facts about your Rook/DATV OC according to the theme below.

✨ Open the latest section of #dragon are the veilguard tag and reblog 5 posts of people you don’t follow, giving them nice tags.

✨ Tag 5 people to spread the game.

Tagging: @zyana-wyvern @dreadfutures @nokdunal @smoggyfogbottom @annahenriart @rosieofcorona @coromoor

Template of game under the cut!

Long Ingellvar

🟨 Color Scheme

Black, silver and deep violet. He's a mourn watch but i don't think green suits him so violet it is! he also has violet eyes!

🎶 Music Taste

I think he hates musicals and theaters even though coming from a privileged background he has to know all about this form of art. He actually quite enjoy street bards, freestyle, sarcastic stuff xD

🍝 Relationship With Food

He really enjoys fancy food, multiple small courses. DO NOT at all enjoy traveling broke with Varric and Harding prior to game events xD He is lowkey allergic to shellfish.

🌼 One Happy Memory

He has repressed this out of his memory, but he used to have a loving fiance. They were very cute together and this time brought him so much peace and stability.

💧 One Sad Memory

Also related to the above, he tells himself he doesnt regret leaving his fiance to pursue his ambitions, but deep down he's still wondering what if he said yes, would everything be different? would he be satisfied with a domestic life tho, i dont think he will, as much as he yearns for it.

-------------------

Dragon Age The Veilguard Tag Game!

Rules:

✨ Write 5 facts about your Rook/DATV OC according to the theme below.

✨ Open the latest section of #dragon are the veilguard tag and reblog 5 posts of people you don’t follow, giving them nice tags.

✨ Tag 5 people to spread the game.

Name Of Your Character

🟨 Color Scheme

🎶 Music Taste

🍝 Relationship With Food

🌼 One Happy Memory

💧 One Sad Memory

Tagging:

[polysucks]

*grabs a chair and flings it next to you* let's talk about rhaenyra the absolutely perfect (っ* ॑˘ ॑*c)

Rhaenyra Targaryen: Flawless, Brilliant, Never Did Anything Wrong Ever, Not Even Once

A Completely Unbiased and Factually Infallible Analysis

Since the dawn of time (or at least the year 129 AC), there have been haters. And not just any haters—misogynistic, scheming, bootlicking, rat-faced haters who dared to disrespect the one true Queen, Rhaenyra Targaryen. These are the same people who, instead of acknowledging her divine right, clutched their pearls and gasped, “must have penis to rule!!!!” as if being male somehow makes you worthy of the Iron Throne (it doesn’t; see Aegon IV).

Rhaenyra Targaryen was a beacon of justice, a natural born queen, and an unproblematic girlboss. If at any point you find yourself disagreeing I diagnose you with Hightower bootlicker disease. Seek treatment immediately.

I. She Was the Firstborn and That’s the Only Qualification That Matters

You know who else was the firstborn and got to rule? Literally every king before Rhaenyra. But suddenly, when she was born, the men of Westeros were like, “holup.” You’re telling me that for hundreds of years, we had no problem letting incest babies with questionable literacy skills (cough Aegon II cough) sit the throne, but the moment we get a smart, competent woman in line, we suddenly care about rules?

Just say you’re sexist.

Viserys I named her his heir. He had twenty years to change his mind, but he didn’t, because he knew what we all know—Rhaenyra was That Girl. Meanwhile, the Hightowers spent those same twenty years whispering in Viserys’ ear like fuckin lobbyists, trying to push their useless nepo baby, Aegon II, onto the throne. And for what? So he could spend all his time being a drunken liability?

Justice for Rhaenyra.

II. Rhaenyra’s Sons Were Absolutely, Definitely 100% Velaryons (Don’t be fuckin rude)

A lot of people (incorrect people) like to bring up the fact that Rhaenyra’s sons didn’t look like Laenor Velaryon. To that, I say:

Who fuckin cares?

Jacaerys, Lucerys, and Joffrey were raised Velaryons, named Velaryons, and rode dragons like true Targaryens. That’s more than I can say for most of Westeros’ nobility, whose main accomplishments include inbreeding and dying of dysentery.

Also, let’s not pretend like Targaryens and Velaryons don’t already have wildly inconsistent genetics. One minute you’ve got platinum-haired dragonlords, the next you’ve got Daeron Targaryen looking like a Dornish prince. Also Jon Snow?? Taking after Lyanna? For fuckin real? Who’s to say genetics didn’t just do a little freestyle? It happens so fuckin often in the world. The real issue here isn’t Rhaenyra’s sons—it’s the fact that people kept bringing it up like gossipy washerwomen.

“Wahh, they don’t look like Laenor!” Okay, and? Did they ride dragons? Yes. Were they betterer and braver than Aegon II, who spent most of his reign crying and drinking? Also yes.

Case closed.

III. Alicent and Otto Hightower: [dismissive wanking gesture]

Imagine this: You’re Rhaenyra Targaryen. You’re raised your entire life as your father’s heir. You have a cool dragon, a supportive father, and the kingdom knows you’re next in line. Then one day, your bestie’s dad—aka Otto “I Would Sell My Minor Dyke Daughter for a Promotion” Hightower—decides he’s gonna play “Let’s Marry My Lesbian Girl Child to the King” and suddenly, you’re supposed to just accept that your half-brother gets to steal your throne?

Absolutely not.

Alicent and Otto gaslit an entire kingdom into believing that Viserys suddenly changed his mind about Rhaenyra, despite there being zero written proof of this ever happening. How convenient.

Rhaenyra was the rightful queen. She was cheated out of her throne by a man who was too busy drinking himself into oblivion to rule properly. The Green faction wasn’t about preserving stability—it was about stealing power under the flimsiest excuse imaginable. If you support Alicent and Aegon II, just say you lack critical thinking and move on.

IV. “Rhaenyra Was Paranoid” — Yeah, Because People Kept Trying to Kill Her

A lot of people (again, incorrect people) like to say Rhaenyra became too paranoid, too ruthless. To them, I ask: wouldn’t you fuckin be? She spent her entire life being undermined, slandered, and plotted against. Every time she showed the slightest bit of trust, someone betrayed her.

Gave Alicent the benefit of the doubt? Betrayed.

Made peace with Rhaenys and Corlys? Lucerys still got murdered.

Let Ser Arryk live? Dude literally came back to assassinate her.

At a certain point, paranoia isn’t paranoia anymore—it’s pattern recognition.

Besides, let’s not act like Daemon wasn’t out here doing 283800% more war crimes than Rhaenyra, and history still calls him cool and mysterious. If Rhaenyra did half the things Daemon did, they’d call her the Mad Queen. Double standards? In Westeros? Shocking.

V. The People of King’s Landing Betrayed Her, and They Should Feel Bad About It

Imagine being ruled by Rhaenyra Targaryen, First of Her Name, a true heir of the Conqueror, and thinking, “You know what would be better? A guy who marries his own sister, can’t even speak his mother tongue, and executes messengers for sport.”

King’s Landing turned on Rhaenyra fast, and for what? Because she raised taxes? Oh, I’m sorry, did the war that she didn’t start cost too much? Try blaming the Hightowers next time.

And then, after betraying her, they let Aegon II take over, and he immediately ran the kingdom into the ground. Good job, guys. Real smart. Hope the starvation and executions were worth it.

You’re Either With Her, or You’re Wrong

Rhaenyra Targaryen was a queen, a warrior, and history failed her. The Greens were cheating, lying, backstabbing frauds, and the fact that they won is nothing short of a crime.

If Rhaenyra had been a man, none of this would have happened. If Westeros had any sense, they’d have rallied behind her instead of betraying the best chance they had at competent leadership

LONG LIVE QUEEN RHAENYRA.

This post has been proudly brought to you by the Rhaenyra Did Nothing Wrong Foundation™

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #32

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 2, The Clue, lonely

...

Hairstyle Notes

This style is the shorter, more fluffy and curly style found at the start of the episode though it has some variance within the scene, depending on the camera angle. Much like the space in the starting scene for the minisode, no humans are around. I have looked and cannot find any human-built or human-inhabited structures around either.

Instead of a large supernatural fireball during most of the scene, there is a large, natural body of water.

There are no goats or other visible animals, but there are plants and rocks.

So, again, this space is like an open, younger Earth.

The camera shots closer to Crowley from a front view have a lighter red. Crowley's right side of his head is not as fluffy compared to other angles. The camera shots closer with a view from where Aziraphale is show a darker red and a stronger fluff on the right side of Crowley's head.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

The main earthly object of the scene is the rock being used as a seat. So, the touches are mainly self-clothing or self-skin-contact touches during or between using the seat.

Crowley's first line is a question, "Go where?"

Paying attention to the pockets...

Crowley briefly makes a pocket involving his left thumb and robe when saying, "and your neat white..."

Otherwise, the main pocket of the scene is the closing shot that shows both Crowley's and Aziraphale's back on the rock. It's reminiscent of when they sit on benches together later, chronologically, in season 1.

The structure also helps ensure no one's back is to the seat since there is none. As a reminder, Aziraphale is the character shown many times to be avoiding a back to the seat.

...

Story Commentary

As noted back in the post about the minisode's first scene, this one is more serious. The music is solemn.

The information we have about how angels fall is limited.

From what I have pieced together from the show, I understand it as the following:

There was a rebellion led by Lucifer that Crowley was a part of. As punishment for losing, the angels in that rebellion became demons. For Crowley, that involved doing a million-light-year freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulphur. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to think that happened to the rest, based on lines from Hastur and Dagon in season 1.

The demons were forever changed and became vulnerable to holy water. It's not clear if all of the demons have an associated animal, but the ones we get to know by name do.

That's the main Fall referred to for most demons.

However, angels could still fall and become demons after that point. It doesn't seem like something that happens often, but it happens often enough to be mentioned with lines like Crowley saying asking questions was all it took to be a demon in the old days.

Gabriel has not truly fallen in the season 2 present day. He has left Heaven, and Hell is looking for him, but he found refuge in the bookshop with Aziraphale. Most supernatural beings cannot recognize Gabriel as Gabriel, due to the amnesia and/or the miracle performed to hide him.

This scene here at the close of episode 2 starts with Aziraphale deeply troubled he has become a fallen angel because of his actions in lying to other angels for Job's family. He says to Crowley, "I'm like you now." It's true that Aziraphale doesn't want to be a demon, and it's true that season 1 showed us Crowley doesn't like being a demon. Still, a demon is what Crowley is, and the wording is other-ing him.

Crowley finds this laughable at first, I assume based on how deeply his transformation affected him and what the experience actually entailed.

Nonetheless, Aziraphale is still scared and troubled, so Crowley eases up and stops laughing about it. By this point in the conversation, he's already said he won't take Aziraphale to Hell because he doesn't think Aziraphale would like it. Now, he adds that so long as neither of them tell anyone, nothing has to change.

So, Aziraphale doesn't fall.

The exchange shows Crowley considering what Aziraphale himself would have wanted. He didn't ask, but the assumption was correct.

We receive the third of the three lines by Crowley associating a demon with lying as Crowley says, "I'm a demon. I lied." These word are verbatim from the second one. The words are literally the same but contextually different. In this case, their meaning as an admittance of a lie to oneself, Crowley denying loneliness in choosing his own side.

That meets a Rule of Three within the story and thus, probably, the Earthly Objects game. It closes out the whole minisode and episode too, as part of the back bookend/pocket to both.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[the-most-humble-blog]

🛐 WHY GOLLUM WAS A STARVING WORDSMITH WITH UNTREATED RING ADDICTION PROBLEMS

Let’s get one thing straight:

Gollum wasn’t just a little wet goblin tweaking under a mountain.

✅ Gollum was a full-blown starving artist. ✅ Gollum was a tortured poet drowning in untreated addiction. ✅ Gollum was dropping lyrical bars so raw they could sandpaper your soul — off the fucking dome.

And no one — NO ONE — wants to admit it.

🧠 GOLLUM: THE UNWANTED LOVECHILD OF EMINEM AND CRACKHEAD CHIC

Gollum wasn’t rambling. He wasn’t muttering.

He was freestyling psychological horror ballads nonstop.

Every time he opened his mouth?

Flawless cadence.

Internal rhyme schemes.

Biblical-level emotional self-mutilation.

Survivalist cadence designed to hypnotize, confuse, and cripple the mind of anyone listening.

The man wasn’t "sick." The man was spitting verses harder than your favorite SoundCloud rapper on their best day.

And the sad truth?

Nobody gave him his flowers.

Because his stage was a mossy rock next to an underground fish pond. And his fanbase was three blind cave salamanders who didn’t even have ears.

🩸 THE UNTREATED RING ADDICTION WAS REAL

You think junkies mumble?

No.

Gollum was exhibiting the classic hallmarks of advanced obsession-based psychosis:

✅ Talking in second person to his addiction ✅ Bargaining with himself like a hostage negotiator ✅ Rationalizing evil with limerick-level smoothness ✅ Gaslighting his own goddamn neural pathways

The Ring wasn’t just "his precious."

It was his career-ending record deal with Satan.

It gave him the high once. And then left him to chase the dragon for 500 years in a leaky cave, mumbling sick 16-bar verses to the stalactites.

🛡️ BILBO: THE HOBBIT VERSION OF EMINEM

Now, it takes a certain kind of beast to stumble a starving wordsmith running on pure trauma fumes.

And Bilbo did it.

✅ Not with a sword. ✅ Not with strength.

With cadence.

Bilbo Baggins — this barefoot, second-breakfast-eating munchkin — out-freestyled a cave goblin battle rapper on home turf.

The Riddle Game wasn't cute.

It was an underground battle of psychological warfare through language. It was blood sport for linguists.

And Bilbo — the hobbit equivalent of Eminem stepping into an underground rap battle in 1995 Detroit — made Gollum stumble.

Made him panic.

Made him cheat.

Because for once in his miserable, dark-slick existence, Gollum couldn't keep up.

🧠 TL;DR

Gollum was a crackhead Shakespeare with no editor.

The Ring was his abusive label.

He dropped demonic verses with perfect cadence for centuries without witnesses.

Bilbo walked into his arena and broke his winning streak like a barefoot Slim Shady on a mission.

💣 CALL TO ACTION:

🔁 Reblog if you know Gollum deserved a Grammy in the "Cave Rap / Post-Apocalyptic Regretcore" category. 🛡️ Save this post to remember that untreated trauma sometimes creates the greatest poets we never clap for. ⚡ Send it to the friend still trying to pretend "bars" just means TikTok trends. 🔥 Bookmark it for the day you realize trauma and addiction have a language more powerful than a thousand polished speeches.

Or simply 🔁Reblog to keep my signal to mankind going strong.

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This post is Blacksite Literature™, cadence war poetry, psycholinguistic survival analysis, and mythological character defense protected under the Bloodwritten Covenant of the Last Storytellers.

If you’re offended: Go rap battle yourself in the mirror until you can face the truth.

🛡️ BLACKSITE POST: COMPLETE. 🩸 FULL TIMELINE INFILTRATION READY.

[ekjohnston]

i love your copper ingot merchant cross stitch. Can you please let me know where you got the pattern?

I made it! I was looking at my leftover threads and trying to imagine what I could do, and then a tumblr post came around, and here we are.

I based the pattern on this sticker:

Except I didn't use that colour scheme, because I was trying to get rid of thread. You can support the artist, if you like.

There are a bunch of different websites you can use to make patterns, or you can print graph paper and freestyle it. It takes some practice, but it's fun. I've made a few now, and it's always an adventure.