#this is a shitpost

[t0ast-ghost]

Captains log; Star date ——-

Starfleet has requested that the Enterprise check out strange readings coming from a system close to the neutral zone. We have tracked the readings to a small primitive planet somewhat similar to 1980s era earth. Commander Spock, Doctor McCoy, and I have beamed down to what we believe is the source of these readings. It seems to be a heavily wooded area with a small dilapidated cabin. We have detected one humanoid life form currently residing in the cabin.

[buf309-art-binder]

Random Post-reveal domestic shenanigan 🤡🤡

[morickkk]

Base on the fanfic he made about his alter ego, HoTGuY LMAO

Episode : Cubfan Hermitcraft 9 episode 91

Timestamp : 11:09

Bonus :

[liesmyth]

I think John Gaius successfully utilized girlpower when he fixed global warming and quality of life inequality, and brought his favorite childhood toy to life, all in the span of one day. Absolutely no further details or points to be said about how he did any of that

He solved wealth inequality, fixed overpopulation, and took care of the issue of rising housing prices in the city of Melbourne. He became the de facto leader of the most powerful democracy on earth and dismantled capitalism. He took care of the global nuclear stockpile, cleaned up the Pacific Trash Vortex, and found the answer to several metaphysical questions that have fascinated humanity for centuries, such as "Is there such thing as a soul?" and "Does Pluto count as a planet?" He also ate the sun.

Nobody's doing it like him

[buf309]

Hey! I see that you're a Spy Family Fan and i wanted to ask what you think would happen,

If Yor asked Loid the age old question "Would you still love me if I was a worm? "

Hi, thank you for your patience 🤗

Your ask caught the musebunny's attention so it insisted on making me draw pages of comic for this. Well, because I think depending on when Yor asked this question, the answer she got could be very different. I hope these are worth the wait. Please enjoy.

and for comparison and contrast, I also let Fiona ask her senpai this question too 🤔

[sillybiggirl]

some of you guys could not handle the complicated women podcast. you can’t even handle kristen applebees

[malusokay]

How to make friends on Tumblr

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As always, please feel free to share your own tips and tricks in the comments!!

(DM's are open to anyone who wants to be my friend/have a little chat, I fractured my ankle, and I'm currently dying of boredom) <33

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[ryesingerrose]

(Charles and Max if Charles signed with Red Bull.) Interviewer: I don’t get it. How do you two work together so well?  Charles: We have the exact same life philosophy. The only people you can really trust are the ones you know will stab you in the back at the first given opportunity.  Max: So, naturally, we trust each other completely. 

[tswwwit]

Me, writing: Hm... I think I can save this problem for the Editing Stage. Me, editing: Hey what the fuck

[gffa]

Me: Power scaling comparisons in comic books is kind of pointless because the answer to “Who would win in this fight?” is always, “Who needs to win this fight for the sake of the narrative?” far more than any true power scale existing in universe. Also me: [watching power scaling comparison videos that point out Nightwing is SEVERELY underrated when it comes to power scaling videos] YEAH THAT’S RIGHT HE IS DICK GRAYSON WOULD WIPE THE FLOOR WITH 95% OF THE DCU UNIVERSE FINALLY SOMEONE (other than me) SAID IT, THIS POWER SCALING COMPARISON VIDEO IS SO SATISFYING. Further me: And, yeah, I’m including Bruce Wayne on that list, fight me.

[berriicherry]

[mellowwillowy]

𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

⤷ Synopsis: An honor student was sent to detention, and to everyone's surprise, it was nothing out of the ordinary until the headmaster decided that he had enough and gave your beloved caretaker a call.

⤷ warnings — possessive behaviors, mention of past abuse and trauma, gn reader

"Seriously, your caretaker will be hearing this soon." The headmaster grumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose, another trip to detention which you thought would just be another chance to laze inside the headmaster's room, sleeping on the couch while killing time.

"Didn't he tell you not to bother him over menial problems like this?"

"Considering how many times you have lazed in my room, I wouldn't say it's menial anymore. Besides, just what made you think that it was a great idea to pick a fight with Whitney?!"

You groaned at the headmaster's bickering, waiting for your beloved caretaker to just come and patch your wounded ass. Picking a fight with the head bully was never a great idea but you were somehow itching for a fight by the school's corridor out of nowhere!

"He should be here by now."

"And you will not be hearing the end from us."

The doors to the headmaster's room swung open, revealing your caretaker who was wearing an annoyed expression. "I supposed it's supposed to be something important, Leighton?" The man questioned your headmaster as he leaned toward the doorframe.

"Did you not learn the etiquette of referring to someone who is older than you too?"

"Oh I'm so sorry but we did not recall ever seeing you being a proper headmaster."

You and he both attended the same school, and the only thing that was surprising enough was that the uniform you two once wore hadn't changed much. Some may say that your uniform seemed a bit different but that was all, no further questions were asked about you. Especially your age.

"Your pretty little brat was causing trouble again, am I in the wrong to summon their beloved caretaker?" the headmaster spat as he drummed his fingers on the table, "Not the first, second nor tenth. But I couldn't just close my eyes anymore on this matter."

You tugged on your caretaker's suit, "Bailey, do you have bubblegum?" Surely you were defiant enough to not listen to the headmaster's bickering but he wouldn't do anything about it. He couldn't.

Bailey sighed as he handed you a pack of bubblegum, at the very least it kept you away from cigarettes. "And?"

"If I have to say, I am kind enough to give them preferential treatment, wouldn't you say so too? No photographs, no spanking, and no-"

"I think you are a bit too high over your head right now," Bailey growled at his remarks, "I too, am being nice to you. What do you think this school will do to a perverted headmaster like you if I leaked out all the blackmail materials you had against the students?"

You thought to yourself as you blew out a balloon, would the mayor do anything about this? Probably not unless a revolution started or the Mayor was edged by Bailey until he had no choice but to dismiss your headmaster.

"You are wasting my time, you know that right? And you," Bailey looked back at you, making you pop the balloon and chew the gum back.

"What?"

Bailey chewed back all the nasty words he was about to tell you as he scratched his head, "Get into the car. I'll have a chat with him first." You shrugged and left the room without looking back, shutting the dual doors tight.

--

"I'm not going to say much anymore," Bailey stood up from his seat and walked toward the door, "they could not feel how it's like to be a student and all you had to was turn a blind eye to everything they did, is that so hard?"

The headmaster's face contorted into a scowl, "Bastards, you two really have your caretaker's tendencies running thick in your blood, blackmailing just to obtain what you want."

"Whatever you are saying, if I see them troubled again, I won't be this lenient anymore." Bailey slammed the doors with a loud thud and thought to himself, just who was the brat that punched you so hard that it cut your left lip?

--

Bailey groaned at your sight and started to drive like a madman toward the orphanage, "Good, just make sure you can at the very least win."

"Did you win?"

"Hmm... I think so, considering how I'm the only one who could walk to detention." You shrugged as Bailey examined your bruises in the car, your uniform torn and stained with blood, your hair disheveled, and a cut on your left lip.

You cackled at his words and started to play the radio, bobbing your head to the tunes, "Reminiscing how hellish it was whenever you see me wounded?"

Bailey didn't respond but hell he knew what you meant. The two of you were not catered to as children and ironically enough, the boy you once remembered as someone kind and loving is now a ruthless extortionist called Caretaker, perhaps he was worse than your previous caretaker but he was nice enough to not do anything toward the children that were not considered as an adult yet.

Perhaps that was the only justification you could give him.

You pouted at his words, those who failed to pay will be sold but you knew he wouldn't do that. Besides, the others would be squirming happily should he ever sell you.

"Ah right, time to pay up brat."

"No preferential treatment for me?"

"You are still my orphans and I am nothing but a fair man."

"I think I'm short in money sir."

"What a coincidence, I need someone to clean my bedroom and make my bed," Bailey looked at you side-eyed, "and I need someone to keep me company for the night, I suppose you could cover up your debt with this much yeah?"

[honeypleasejustkillme]

you find me handsome and hilarious, you wanna kiss me so bad 😵‍💫

[airsignss]

BoB guys and who behaves the best to worst at airports:

Web- grew up rich, knows how to travel; has pre-check

Lip- meticulous packer, does everything to minimize pre-flight stress

Dick- Acts like the airport is the most important mission of his life and he WILL be successful

Babe- doesnt want to make the tsa person mad so he learned to be quick

Grant- a sweetheart, will do anything he is told by the people that work there

Toye- a bit grumpy an fussed during an airport gaunt but ultimately can grit his teeth and get through it

Guarnere- is a little rude to the tsa agent but can get through it

Gene- god take a fucking valium and calm down. If you don't unclench they WILL think you have a bomb up your ass

Speirs- Without fail packs some type of weapon and without fail is asked to step out of line to go answer some questions

Luz- too many bags, too many security line trays. Either pack lighter or get pre-check

Nix- consistently gets blackout drunk at the wolfgang puck express and misses about 70% of his flights

Lieb, Tab- no fly list ass mfs

[buf309]

They all ded ☠️ ☠️ The end 😌

The weather is scorching. Work is irritating. So I crave violence right now. This shitpost is the result.

[meanbossart]

In my lengthy research about drow culture for my story i have come up kind of short in regards to what they do for fun/leisure/art besides torturing children, killing each other, and having sex. So i would like to be the one to officially decreet that all drow can vogue, though they call it something dumb like doing the spider dance or whatever.