#Sending hate is what anti-endos do. We HAVE to be better than them.

[sophieinwonderland]

circ is such 4 hypocrite. they cl4im to be pro endo 4nd then keep being friends with bigots (they're besties with J4S 4nd other people who've h4r4ssed you so its not surprising). even more recently they c4me out 4nd reve4led themselves to be one of the mods of the 4nti endo 4nd bigoted sysbox tumblr blog 4nd its so fucking dis4ppointed. i never re4lly liked them bec4use of how much they h4r4ss tulp4s but their recent post on th4t blog is such 4 new low. THEY H4VE SUCH PICK ME ENERGY. they're liter4lly joking 4bout being better 4nd more 'civil' th4n most pro endos 4nd endos (you know the people they SUPPOSEDLY support so much), which re-enforces stereotypes 4bout endo systems. they literally do not give 4 shit 4bout us or our rights 4nd i wish more plur4l collectives fucking stopped supporting them just bec4use they make 're4lly nice and friendly sysmed cdd system' their whole br4nd. they're like those people who 4spire to be 4 model minority. they dont c4re. they h4ve never c4red. they only c4re about their own 4cceptance and getting popul4rity but dont c4re 4bout the rest of the community. im so 4ngry. my littles who used to find their blog comforting 4re fucking he4rtbroken. i knew they were shit but im so 4ngry 4t myself for not being 4ble to protect my system. im so 4ngry on beh4lf of my system and on beh4lf of the whole plur4l community. we deserve better

https://www.tumblr.com/sysboxes/745040882164760576/which-mod-is-circular-bircular-arent-they-pro?source=share

i hope this is ok4y to send. im just re4lly angry and your blog h4s 4lw4ys been 4 s4fe sp4ce for us. th4nk you for everything you do btw. despite the h4te, you 4lw4ys keep posting 4nd fighting for our rights. my system 4dmires you [ ^-^] <3

I'm sorry you feel hurt and betrayed.

It's terrible to put your trust in someone and find out they aren't who you thought they were. But for what it's worth, I don't think you let your system down.

Life is about making mistakes and learning. You can't refuse to trust anyone just because you get burned in the past. Maybe it hurts now, but I don't think any lasting damage was done.

Personally, learning this... I find myself largely indifferent. I'm not at all surprised at this, knowing them. They've modded anti-endo discord servers, so why not an anti-endo sysbox blog?

My own feelings on Circ are complicated. I do not consider Circ safe for endogenic systems given their reblogs and support of anti-endos, and frequent parroting of anti-endo talking points.

At the same time, I actually do think their presence in anti-endo spaces has been a net positive for our goals in those communities. Circ has bragged a few times about making their anti-endo friends more pro-endo. And while I wouldn't say those friends became allies to the pro-endo community, many did switch to more neutral stances which I do think helped reduce hate against endogenic and pro endo systems in those spaces, and that seems like a good thing for me.

So I guess, while I don't care much for Circ as a person due to history there, I can acknowledge that their influence in anti-endo spaces ultimately serves my goals.

Besides, it's really upsetting some anti-endos so that's fun to watch! 😁

And you know, they have a point.

Like, if I was following a pro-endo blog and learned that one of the mods was anti-endo... and an anti-endo who bragged about making pro-endos more anti-leaning, I would be very suspicious of not just that one anti-endo but all the mods on that blog they were friends with.

How can you trust that your anti-endo sysbox mods haven't already been converted to the other side and aren't just lying to you about their syscourse stance???

Now you might think I'm just intentionally trying to spread mistrust and division among anti-endos by saying this... get them to turn on each other and tear themselves apart from the inside. And you'd be absolutely right! But that doesn't mean I'm wrong, and it doesn't mean me stating my motives aloud will make it any less likely to work!

And I would even like to say that I do appreciate the mod team on that blog being able to look past an alleged pro-endo's syscourse stance. Even if it's only for this one kind-of-hypocritical exception since they still refuse to interact with any other pro-endos.

Yes, I SophieInWonderland, endogenic tulpa, support sysboxes for having a pro-endo-identifying mod!

And since antiendovents crossposted in the inclusive plural tag, this is going straight into the anti-endo tags so the entire anti-endo community can see me expressing this support that I'm sure won't create any waves at all. 😈

[orange-orchard-system]

Got a hate ask on my other blog (funnier-as-a-system) today. I'm not gonna respond to it directly, but I'm gonna go over it fully just as an example of why I don't take anti-endos or sysmeds seriously and find them to be just bullying assholes who don't know what they're talking about. Apologies for the rare discourse post, but I felt it would be useful to have a personal example I can point to if I ever get any more asks than I already have about why I block anti-endos and sysmeds and don't want them on my blogs.

[ID: A screenshot of an anonymous ask, which reads: ""Systems" aren't real. Please stop being ableist against people with DID and our struggles. Pretending to be one of us while simultaneously mocking us makes you look like a piece of shit. Also, DID isn't fucking funny, you're just cruel and ableist. Go see a psychiatrist, get your personality disorders and Munchausens taken care of, and stop pretending to have DID when you don't. We don't need you, our community is better off without teenagers faking DID as a meme. To be honest, I wish you and literally everyone like you were more likely to kill yourself as someone with a real mental illness, because you don't deserve to be alive if this is what you're doing with your life. You're just a delusional bully and neo-nazi" ./ end ID]

Starting from the top, apparently anyone with DID who's ever described themselves as a system is faking now. Nevermind that it's been a term in psychology and the community for decades now! All systems are fake!

I have DID. I've said as much many times. Not that I think this person would consider this a counterargument, but I feel it deserves restating considering a fair amount of my posts are specifically about my DID and managing the symptoms of it.

If I want to find humor in my own disorder, I'm going to. I'm not going to resign myself to misery and self-hate just to please some randos on the Internet. I crawled my way out of the pit of self-hate and am not just gonna jump in there again just to avoid a couple asks and assholes. And I'd make a point here about systems that don't come from trauma or aren't disordered, but what's the point of that when they think literally all systems are fake?

Ohoho! Disableism towards other mental disorders! Isn't the irony sweet?

Not to toot my own horn, but I just love the lack of awareness when it comes to "we don't need you." No, I guess you don't need me... but you'll be going without the work I've done both online and offline to teach people about dissociation and plurality. Not to mention the terms I've coined that make people feel seen, the experiences I've talked about that make people feel less alone, the building of spaces to let others talk about their own problems and experiences, and the general promotion I've done of plural representation in media. No, you don't need me, but I've been doing work to assist the DID and wider plural communities for years now. And what have you been doing? Sending hate asks to people with DID for being too happy?

I'm an adult. I've mentioned before that I go to university and have a job. Seems like even online, I can't escape the assumption that I'm a teenager, smh. Also, I'm much more worried about the teenagers you might be sending this to than any kind of unquantifiable harm a couple teenagers faking DID could do, considering how clearly you wish to do harm with your words. Especially considering the next few sentences...

Oh, so we're just moving onto blatant suicide baiting and admitting you want systems to die. Got it. Totally not a bigot, right.

Wait... "Real mental illnesses"? Didn't you just accuse me of having several earlier? Or do personality disorders and Munchausen Syndrome not count? (Also, do they think being suicidal is a requirement to be mentally ill? They know not all disorders or presentations of disorders involve suicidality, right?)

Well, you got the delusional part right (which, side note, do you think it's impossible for people to have both DID and psychosis? Big yikes even if no, but that's what these asks always seem to imply), but I think this post might be the closest anyone can call "bullying", considering I'm not giving you an opportunity to respond as I tear down your argument. But maybe the definition of peer abuse changed to *checks notes* running a blog talking about plurality in a positive manner since I last checked.

These people do know what a Neo-Nazi is, right? They know what a Nazi is? Because it feels like people just use it as a stand-in for "general asshole" when it means a specific sort of ideology and bigotry. Ironic that they'd be so pissed about "mockery" and treating serious topics "as a meme", but then they go and misuse a term for a very dangerous kind of ideology and person.

Alright, I think I got that out of my system. Please be careful out there, guys! It feels like the number of hate asks I've seen people get has been going up. I'm in a stable enough place to make a demonstration out of this, but don't push yourself to have a snappy comeback or write essays responding to these assholes if you don't think you're up for it. Hell, I rarely write things like this myself, I just chose this ask to respond to because it was such a clear example of how hypocritical and foolish this particular brand of assholes is that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to break it down.

[webby-mogai]

Hey this isn't my usual kinda post but I'm feeling like starting shit and scaring anti-endos off my page.

While I'm usually more passive and don't care much for drama the increasing number of anti-endogenic systems in the mogai community is fucking pathetic. You people wanna act like you're SOOOO accepting, but the moment it's something you personally don't understand you shit yourselves. Grow up. Endogenic systems literally didn't do anything to deserve your hate, you're just mad and bitter not every system has the same experiences as you. It's absolutely pathetic. "You need trauma to be a system" no the fuck you don't and any medical professional worth their degree fucking agrees. You're just fucking angry some people have a better experience with plurality than you, or you're so fucking brain washed into this stupid mindset you're unable to think critically. You've made a straw man in your head of the big boogie man that is endogenic systems.

This is all coming from a TRAUMAGENIC SYSTEM, mind you.

Endos are just trying to live their fucking lives and you lot feel the need to exclude them because you don't understand them. You're just as bad as all those trans folks that say MOGAI isn't valid. Your arguments are fucking identical, even. Like REALLY FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT. You guys sound the exact same, just replace the demographic.

Grow up, grow a pair. If this post pisses you off, good. I'm sick of seeing you assholes in this community. Get out or get with it. It's so much easier to love than to hate, and you're all filled to the brim with hatred.

I'm not taking criticism btw if you send hate I'm just gonna laugh at you in dms with my friends, maybe even publicly if it's pathetic enough. I'm not fucking responsible for trying to change peoples minds I just think someone needs to level with you pieces of shit and call you what you are: pathetic and hateful.

This isn't attacking people who are unaligned or neutral, btw. Just those who are hateful and use their hate as an excuse for cruelty and exclusion. We as a community need to strive towards being the best we can and this anti-endo shit does nothing but bring this community down.

[nightfallsystem]

Nightfallsystem - Main blog. Plural System. cringe asf autistic and chronic pain haver. giant isopod enthusiast.

READ MY DNI AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST!!!

IF I FOLLOW U / REBLOG FROM U RANDOMLY / ACT LIKE WE'RE MUTUALS U PROBABLY FOLLOWED/INTERACTED ON MY BLOG @qiekz OR @qiekzart

‼️hi guys if ur reading this during october 2023 plz check out @qiekzart rn im doing a thing ✨✨

Check out my etsy plzzz :333 i post adoptables !!

My name is Qiekz, my pronouns are it/its, please use my actual preferred pronouns. For your DNI purposes please know I'm 14 ^_^ also no nsfw interaction or you will fucking die!! im also learning japanese! (please send help.... im dying..... grahh.. ive gone too far to quit its kind of my curse now.)

what to expect from this blog? random shit, this is my personal blog. there may be vents and rants (tagged as #vent and #rant respectively) there may be random shit there will be so many reblogs.

i try to add ids when i can into the alt text, though i have chronic pain so sometimes im too tired to, sorry

Special interests: Giant isopods, Yugioh 💀💀

interests: TBHK, manga and anime, servals, marine animals, suicide boy (critical of it...), made in abyss, (critical of it...) , japanese language ,, ... i forgor

FEEL FREE (i encourage you to!) TAG ME IN SHIT ABOUT MY INTERESTS!!! esp yugioh im really autistic about it o my god

#autistic about this thing tag <- will be me tagging shit im really autistic about!!

not really in discourse anymore other than transgender stuff so if you try to drag me into discourse ill drag you into the pits of hell. i fucking hate syscourse so much.

If i am not speaking and another system member is, the post will be tagged as "- [name]". I tag common triggers, flashing lights and eyestrain, etc, these will be tagged as "TW [topic]". also JSYK i block a fuck ton of people so like, yeah, I block anyone for any reason I want. I will also not unblock you. unless youre liek my friend or smth.

We have so many fictives sooo,, source list: TBHK, Omori, OneShot, Wolf Song the Movie (yknow, that one on youtube.), yugioh..... </3 .. sourcemates r cool to interact n stuff feel free to send an ask im just shy...

anon hate MUST be original no lame "kys" or "[slur]". i will judge you. try better. try harder. get good. if you send anon hate i will judge it and rate it out of 10 so please try your best.

i am weirdo fictionkin heres the list: hooni from suicide boy yayy,, faputa from made in abyss ( I FUCKING HATE THE SORUCE FOR BEING SO WEIRD OMFG AHGHH),, jolteon from pokemon. . im weird and fuckd up . much prefer if u dont rlly seperate me from me in sources. cuz i just am me. sorry. ig. just refer to me as me . thank you

I am critical of all of my interests!!

or more just i hate them agh just be normal omfgggg crying sobbing

if you wanna avoid a common trigger its most likely tagged #tw [topic]. i also tag eyestrain and flashing lights but usually i just tag it as "#eyestrain" or "#flashing". tbh i unfortunately cant be trusted to remember to tag any other specific trigger because of bad memory. i wont tag reclaimed slurs but i will tag slurs used in a mean way

Please do not DM me unless you actually really need to. Send me an ask if you want to DM me and specify that you want it answered privately if you want. but i AM UNCOMFY WITH DMS. unless we're friends or i DMed you first. otherwise i place a curse on you I MUCH prefer asks over DMs

Sideblog list

@omori-addict

@oops-all-traumacore (TW TRAUMACORE)

@sunnymogai (inactive)

@hellhoundmutt (inactive)

@sunnymogai2 (inactive)

@qiekz (EYESTRAIN + FLASHING TW please block if you are affected by that please)

@qiekzart

@tsukasabrainrot

alter blog 4 tasma:

@tazmahell

@tazmaboxed

DNI:

Anti plural, pluralphobe, anti endo, sysmed, against created alters/etc, "dont believe in systems",

Proship, condone or support posting any sexual stuff that includes a child, lolicon/shotacon/etc, someone purposely meant to look like a child, cub.

LGBTQphobic, transmed, transphobe/homophobe/biphobe/panphobe/etc, 'super straight'/variants, anti-ace inclusion, anti-aro inclusion, anti a-spec inclusion, aphobes, anti mspec lesbian/gay/etc, stelliophobic, anti lesboy/turigirl/etc, anti any good faith queer identity, anti neopronouns, anti xenogender, anti mogai.

Ableist, support autism speaks, think "narc abuse" is a thing/demonise people with any disorder including NPD, infantalise people with disorders/disabilities/etc, post/support on subreddits like r/fakedisordercringe or r/systemscringe, use the term "Aspergers" / describe urself as an "aspie" (Hans Asperger was a nazi who killed many disabled people, so shut the fuck up.)

Racist, cultural appropriators.

Radqueers, trans-id/transX, transrace/trace (not adoptee term), support the term transplural, pro-contact/contact-complex/contact-neutral for harmful paraphillia, sway people away from getting help for harmful paraphillia, MAP/Pedo/zoo/necro. (also transspecies is ok if its not used in a transX way)

Fujoshi/variants. fetishize mlm/wlw, etc.

Against traumacore / vent art.

Have minors on ur DNI (no offense im just a minor lol), NSFW-Focused blog

Post stolen art (includes AI images) / trace art without consent

other stuff is im neutral on factkin or kff tbh. and i think id rather stay neutral on tulpas as a term. i just dont fucking care. i dont involve myself in syscourse anymore, i might post more endogenic positivity later but id rather not due to the rampant harassment and infighting in the system community.

[lenny-rambles]

About "SpyxFamily: Short Mission 13"

Manga: "SpyxFamily"

Update: Short Mission 13

Author: Tatsuya Endo

Relevants tags ig: the dog has ptsd, again

Honestly, I was mad when I initially saw it was a Short Mission. It's gonna be a month now since the last regular chapter came out, the plot was moving, my heart skipped at beat at the last double spread, the story was thriving, I could sense a lore drop any minute now. Then we got two short missions. TWO!!! But the newest short mission took me by surprise and now I'm sad about the damn cartoon dog.

Spoilers for the SpyxFamily manga and anime, more as in, characters that appear and not exactly plot stuff, BEWARE!

IT'S A GODDAMN SHORT MISSION, WHY DID YOU SHOW AGAIN THE SAD DOG'S BACKSTORY?!!! ISTG. You know what I was expecting? I was expecting a "funny haha, future seeing dog has a boring day home alone" maybe break some stuff by accident, maybe he goes to the neighbors' for attention, cute, sweet, nothing heavy slice of life chapter. BUT NO, I WAS FOOLED.

Like, most of the Short Missions are just, not that relevant. Like, it is more of a day-to-day life than the manga normally is. As in, last short mission (the chapter before this one) was about Anya sending Lloyd, and WISE, to an early grave with a High-Fashion dress for prom. It was funny, sweet, Anya wanted to help, then Damian messed up again and she wanted revenge, you know, the usual.

Why? Who gave Tatsuya Endo the idea to give Bond MORE flashbacks?!!! Poor dog's been through a lot, the Forgers becoming his safe place is just beautiful. THE WAY HE AND ANYA RESONATE, BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH SECRET EXPERIMENTATION SURVIVORS!!!!!! Fucking dog making me sad because a big ass Penguin plushy has stiches. Stupid dog making me emotional over fish, FUCKING FISH. I HATE FISH!!!!

SpyxFamily makes me happy and sad. I think it's a great story to show how connections, friends, family, define a person more than what we'd like to imagine. No person is an island, so seeing characters like Nightfall or Franky, doing missions or getting bits of their backstory, makes it feel more real. Having a character like Anya, being capable of reading mind but not truly understanding most of it makes you think about how children navigate the world.

Oh gosh, I could talk about how SpyxFamily shares an anti-war message through its main characters, all of them victims of the war, one way or another. But it won't, 'cause this was supposed to be about the dog having what I'd call panic attacks because he accidentally broke a glass. BUT WE GET TO THE PENGUIN. In case you haven't read the manga (why are you reading this?) or simply forgot, Bond broke Mr Penguin!

It was an act of jealousy, Anya started playing with the plushie more, and he got lonely. So he destroyed it. He might be an oracle dog, but he is still a dog, I don't blame him. And he felt Bad. He made Anya cry. And he felt terrible because he just wanted Anya back and now Anya's crying and he can't undo it (dogs can't sew). In the end they made it better. I don't remember if it was Lloyd, Yoru or the neighbors, it was probably Yoru though, who fixed it. And the Penguin got cool looking stiches and "he and Bond made Peace".

That was nice, UNTIL THIS GODDAMN CHAPTER. I used to wonder if Bond also felt survivor guilt from being the only dog that managed to escape. TURNS OUT HE DOES, THE DOG HAS SURVIVOR'S GUILT FFS!!!! Poor Bond, realized that he inflicted damage to something like him (unable to defend itself, new/young, a play pretend animal and an animal no longer treated as such) and he tried to make it better. I can't change what I did but I want you to feel better, I'm sorry.

I'm overanalyzing here, it's probably Not That Deep. It's a funny haha manga about a family of dangerous people who end up loving each other by accident. But sometimes it's about Lloyd burying himself in a nameless grave by the time he was 18. It's about Yoru sacrificing her innocence for her brother only to do the same for her. It's about Anya needing validation from everyone because if the people in the lab didn't like her they'd get rid of her. It's about Bond feeling lonely and distressed because a vision he got is especially terrible and he is just a Dog.

I read the interview where Tatsuya Endo said he didn't like the characters that much. Maybe not Gege Akutami (you're going dow Gege) levels of hate, but a blunt indifference. And sometimes I find that hard to believe. Maybe he didn't want Anya to be cutesy-dumb-pink-haired little girl, or Lloyd a super-intelligent-spy-ikemen at first, or even now. But I don't think he doesn't like his story, or characters; we wouldn't have the short missions in the first place if that were the case.

All this to say, cartoon dog made me sad, and then happy, because there are better things coming for everyone in the end. Thank you for reading this far! I'd recommend SpyxFamily if you are up to something a tad dramatic, with a happy ending and endearingly funny. (Or if you have issues with your parents and want a bit of escapism, that's also fair)

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey so we get pretty stressed out by hearin/talking about syscourse do to past trauma conected to it do you have any tips on how we can work on being less scared/stressed by it (like we have multiple alters that are just staight up scared and end up crying when reading and us getting syscourse ask do to the trauma) - night it/xe/star

our response is going under a cut due to the potentially triggering topic.

hey, night… we’re really sorry that seeing syscourse can be so triggering and painful for your system. rest assured you’re not alone in this. what should be a space for civil, respectful discussion with a diverse group of people is more often than not filled with folks hating and lashing out at each other for holding differing beliefs.

honestly, we believe that no one should feel obligated to take part in syscourse if they don’t want to. if viewing and participating in syscourse is a trigger for your system, it may be best to limit your exposure to it. we’d suggest using tumblr’s filtering system to block both the tag “#syscourse” and the word “syscourse” - you can also do this with “#anti endo” and “anti endo” as well, depending on your system’s views.

on the off-chance that you do happen to see some syscourse, here are some things you can do:

if you get a syscourse-related ask, block the user (which you can do by hitting the three dots at the top of the ask, then “block user.” this will work even if they send an ask anonymously) and then delete the ask.

if some syscourse is reblogged onto your dash, unfollow the person who put it there, ask them to tag the post properly so it can be filtered, or go to the original poster and block them.

if you’ve been put in a difficult emotional state due to seeing syscourse, try to step away from the situation and calm down a bit. we love the r.e.s.t. acronym for this, which is a dbt skill. we’ll include a post we’ve written in the past where we explained this strategy:

and here’s a few other things which might help y’all feel a bit less stressed about syscourse overall:

- other people’s opinions of you do not matter. regardless of your origins, someone ranting angrily about how certain systems are invalid for whatever reason is ultimately their problem, not yours. try to work on internal validation and self confidence, and understand that other people do not know you or your system better than y’all know yourselves.

- understand that everyone who participates in syscourse is a human being. many participants are traumatized, hurt, frustrated, and confused. sometimes when people are making heated statements, their words are coming from a place of heightened emotions and not rational thinking. so it’s never beneficial to take another syscourser’s remarks too personally.

- educate yourself about dissociative disorders, endogenic plurality, or other subjects that often become topics in syscourse. if you can build up your own solid foundation of knowledge, it may help you feel less helpless or attacked by seeing others have these discussions online.

we really hope that something here will be useful for you. we genuinely do believe that no one should have to engage in syscourse if they don’t want to, and especially if they have trauma relating to syscourse, it may be best to stay away from it. but we know everyone’s different and some folks really want to continue participating despite it having negative effects on their system. so hopefully, whether or not y’all choose to engage with it in the future, something here can at least help you feel a bit more equipped to make the right decisions for your system.

good luck with everything, night. we’re wishing your system rest and healing in the future :)

[species-dysphoria-culture-is]

hey! not trying to start s/scourse, i'm 100% pro endo, but PLEASE don't use the term "sysmed"!! i understand the intent behind it, but its origin is incredibly ableist against traumagenic systems (not quite as bad as ""traumascum"", which is horrible, but its coining was still... really not great), and conflates a really specific form of transphobia with something totally unrelated, it just isn't a very good word. "anti endo" or "system gatekeeper" are better!! thank you for reading, sorry bothering!!

hi, and no offense to you, i disagree (except for traumascum, that's a horrible word and no one should use it tbh).

admittedly, i don't know much about the coining of the word (and you didn't send sources, but i'll try to look), but i don't see how "sysmed" is ableist. as i (and others) have said many times, it stands for "system medicalist" which is exactly what they are. it's different from anti-endos, too- similar, but different. anti-endos simply hate/"don't believe in" endogenic systems, while sysmeds attempt to medicalize every system.

it also does not conflate anything with anything- words can sound alike without being related. the only thing in common is the ending, "-med".

also, no offense anon, but i've only ever seen sysmeds try to stop people from calling them that, because it's "offensive". call me "transphobic", call me "disrespectful", but without proving it had a "incredibly ableist" coining, i'm not changing accurate wording over sysmed's feelings.

also, if you call someone "disrespectful" for using an accurate word, while actively arguing against their existence and harassing them horribly for being "fake" and "ableist" and "appropriating disorders" (none of which endogen & nontraumagen systems do), you're not allowed to choose if you don't like what we call you.

i'm not sure why you sent this to a culture-is blog, and this will be the only syscourse-related ask i answer here. we are firmly pro-endo, pro-nontraumagen, pro non-dx, pro (informed) self-dx, pro non-disordered, and pro-every system in between. we are rad-inclus of any and all good-faith identities, including queer, syshood, and alterhuman. this isn't a discourse blog, so i'm not putting up a dni other than "don't harrass anyone", but if you disagree with any of the above, feel free to block our main, and if you feel uncomfortable with us running this blog, start your own i guess.

thank you for reading, and goodnight.

[astral-arbour-system]

Apology to my MOGAI peeps + some more about me

Really sorry about the long post but it’s worth the read, I promise! Please don’t try and start an argument, I really can’t take it right now.

Until recently I was super anti-mogai, anti-endo, and anti-most alterhumans. And I was really rude about it. I kicked someone off my discord server for using xe/xem pronouns, and another person for not hating endogenic systems. I don’t want to make excuses for that because there are none but I do want to share my story.

I watched a lot of problematic trans YouTubers when I was first questioning, I think y’all know who I mean. Not saying names or his fans will find this. Anyway, I’d originally thought I was genderfluid but he had me convinced I was ftm for like 7 months. It’s taken me years to get out of the mindset that part of the trans community forced on me. When I finally realized they/them pronouns did make me happier I saw why his content was harmful, and I stopped watching it. But that wasn’t the end. 

Shortly after that realization a new school year started. I introduced myself to the GSA as nonbinary. I met some of my best friends that day and they all supported me every time I tried on a new label for my gender or sexuality. I love them all and I wish we hung out more, but since I dropped out of school... anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. I followed all my new friends on Instagram, as one does, and one of them posts My Little Pony art, which I thought was kinda cool. Liking his posts told the algorithm the sort of things I was “interested” in, which brought me to the furry fandom. And you know what, it was pretty cool. I’d thought it was just a kink until then, but they all seemed like nice people and I wanted to be involved in that.

And then, the pandemic hit. I had too much free time since I didn’t do any of my homework, so of course I spent most of it on YouTube. And in June, I came across this video (People Who Think They Are Animals). Tl;dw it’s some guy making fun of that infamous therian documentary for 34 minutes. Yeah. When I watched that I though he was being a little unfair, and the animal thing lit something inside me, for lack of a better word. So I did some more research and after joining Therian Guide and a few discord servers I realized that I was a therian, specifically a fox. Then some furries got all toxic and said I was making them look bad and taking it too far or whatever, so that was fun. But I’m not really a furry anymore.

The thing about Therian Guide, though, is that they push ideas like “You can’t have more than 3 kintypes” and “If you don’t shift you’re not otherkin” which I took as fact for too long. Honestly I’m not sure what changed my mind on that but if you’ve read my about you know something definitely did.

One of my online friends and I started a therian pack, which is where I met another person important to this story. He was the host of a system, and after sharing experiences I noticed they matched up a suspicious amount, so I started researching systems and immediately came across the anti-endo people, who block you even if you’re a traumagenic system who doesn’t completely hate endos. Now, I’m part of an OSDD system, but I fully support endos, tulpas, past life systems, whatever you want to call yourself. That’s pretty recent though.

When this school year started I took a break from discord for a while, and ended up leaving quite a few servers. School was stressful, especially since my mental health is already way worse than it was at the start of last year. I was failing all my classes and in December I finally dropped out. If you have questions about what I do now feel free to send an ask. 

With more free time I started using discord more and decided to check out The Alterhuman Sanctuary. I was about ready to leave when I saw the endo stuff but some part of my brain said no, stick around. So I talked to people. I asked about different types of systems, about xenogenders, all sorts of things. I found my way to the mogai side of tumblr again, after making fun of it years ago, but this time I was positive. I discovered that neopronouns and xenic labels made me happy, and that most of my hate for it was internalized stuff (I say most cause there’s still the rabies thing. We don’t need to talk about that.)

Which brings us to today. I’m much happier now as a xenogender neopronoun using otherkin, and I felt like I owed you all an apology for how I acted, even if you didn’t know me. So I’m truly sorry. I didn’t understand and I should’ve just put in the effort to, because I probably hurt a lot of people.

[sophieinwonderland]

Hey, I hope this doesn’t sound weird but uhh

Im kinda worried about you, I know you’re just trying to protect them and all but don’t you think your own mental health is important too? You seem kinda stressed out idk

Sending love your way

Thank you so much! 💖💖💖

If my mental health gets bad, I can step away. I'm a bit upset, but I'm good, honestly. Way better than I was during that whole banning ordeal.

A lot of people in this community aren't in as good of a place as we are. And I don't have much to give, but I want to do what I can to help. And so if putting a target on my back makes other anti-endos think twice about putting hate in our tags, if it keeps even one system browsing our tags from being sent into a derealization spiral, it's worth it. 😁

Thank you for worrying about me and caring though! You have no idea how much it means to me! Sending love back! 🤗🫂💖