#Setting Up User Retirement

[snowshinobi]

I have given birth to a 179 page User Manual

[moniquill]

Here is a brief summary of what is happening in Wikipedia right now:

In the last few years (3-4 years) the WikiProject Indigenous peoples of North America, which was originally created to improve the quality and coverage of native issues and native articles on wikipedia, has been hijacked by a small number of users with an extremist agenda. They have been working diligently over the last few years to change the definition of both what it means to be an Indigenous American and even what it means to be state and federally recognized.

The four or five key players (Mainly Editor Yuchitown, Bohemian Baltimore, ARoseWolf, (now retired editor CorbieVreccan, Netherzone and Oncamera) who are part of the “Native American Articles Improvement Project” started implementing these changes slowly, but they started pursuing their goals aggressively after November 2023, when state-recognized tribes retained their voting rights in NCAI. Essentially, after the movement to delegitimize state-recognized tribes failed officially, the key players doubled down on altering and controlling the flow of information about Native Americans through Wikipedia.

The talk page of Lily Gladstone’s article has a relevant discussion here. Initially, the leaders of the WikiProject removed any reference to her being a “Native American Actress” and instead had her as “Self-identifying as Blackfoot” and “Self-identifying as Nez Perce” because her blood quantum was too low to be enrolled in either tribe.

You can see some of the discussion here:

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Lily_Gladstone

Eventually they relented and changed her category to being “Of Nez Perce Descent” but you can see in the discussion that they are referring to an article that these editors (Yuchitown, Bohemian Baltimore, and CorbieVreccan) themselves appeared to have mostly written and revised:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Native_American_identity_in_the_United_States

This statement is very much at odds with even the government’s description, as seen below;

The DOJ Office of Tribal Justice Office on their webpage “Frequently Asked Questions About Native American”, question “Who is an American Indian or Alaskan Native” states:

“As a general principle, an Indian is a person who is of some degree Indian blood and is recognized as an Indian by a Tribe and/or the United States. No single federal or tribal criterion establishes a person's identity as an Indian. Government agencies use differing criteria to determine eligibility for programs and services. Tribes also have varying eligibility criteria for membership.”

In addition, “List” pages have been created on Wikipedia for federally and state recognized tribes. The Wikipedia “List” page for state-recognized tribes is inaccurate in its interpretation of state recognition and not supported by expert reliable sources--(1) Cohen’s Handbook of Federal Indian Law 2012 edition, (2) NCSL.org current stand on state recognition (not the archived list from 2017 which NCSL no longer supports), (3) Koenig & Stein’s paper “Federalism and the State Recognition of Native American Tribes: a survey of state-recognized tribes and state recognition processes across the United States” (both 2008 & updated 2013 in book “ Recognition, sovereignty struggles, and indigenous rights in the United States: A sourcebook”)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State-recognized_tribes_in_the_United_States

State-recognized tribes who have received recognition through less formal but acceptable means have been moved from the Wikipedia list page on state-recognized tribes to the Wikipedia list page of unrecognized or self-identifying organizations.

The Wiki page "List of organizations that self-identify as Native American tribes", in particular, is being used to purposely defame legitimate Native American individuals who are members of the tribes/Native communities that are on this list. 

By the parameters set up on Wikipedia, only the colonizer’s governments can acknowledge who is Native American through either federal recognition or state recognition. If an individual is not a member of a federally or state-recognized tribe, then it is determined that they cannot be Native American and are, instead, considered “self-identifying” or only “a descendant of ...” (example Lily Gladstone). As a result, Native individuals are currently being tagged as “self-identifying” and their names are put on “list” pages that strongly imply they are “pretend” Indians.

These editors have indicated that they would like “self-identification” to be the default setting for any people who they deem do not fit within the parameters that they themselves created within Wikipedia.

Moreof, these editors are admin and senior editors within the Wikiproject Indigenous Peoples of North America, and are being called in specifically to weigh on Native Identity, and any project involving any Indigenous Group.

Any attempt to correct misinformation, add information, or change any of these articles is often met with being blocked, reported for various offenses, or reported for having a Conflict of Interest, whether or not that is actually applicable. They have use this strategically in many different pages for many different individuals and groups within the scope of their Wikiprojects.

While changing things in Wikipedia does not change the truth, it is a way to control how most people take in information, and thus they hope to manipulate the narrative to better suit their goals.

This is quick and messy but:

Here is a link to the google document with the other state recognized tribes (Including yours) that were edited by these editors. This is an incomplete list so far that only goes back to September 2023 but I am going to add to it. If you can add to your own part of this list, and send your complaints and information to the arbitrator committee (the email is below) with the involved editors, this will help our case.

The  more tribes who complain, and the more Wikipedia editors complain, the better our case will be. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YNDEjLTrrZ_mMIRCVxtvt69FwCYpJWKs71lBhWa5a9M/edit?usp=sharing

The place to make complaints on Wikipedia is oversight-en-wpwikipedia.org , and

arbcom-enwikimedia.org . It is most helpful to have an editing account on Wikipedia, because Yuchitown and the others will try to defend themselves using Wikipedia methodology and make anyone who confronts them look like the aggressor (see the other tribes who tried to fight back on Wikipedia I found).

The more people and tribes make complaints the more likely it is that this will work and we can rid ourselves of these monsters.

Some of the tribes I have spoken to are taking legal action against these editors. Any groups affected by their policies should also reach out to the news to make knowledge of this more widespread.

Thank you

- quoted with permission from an email sent by an associate of my tribe. Message me for their email address if you'd like to reach out to them.

[nino-rox]

PETER PARKER | BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS | M | GENDER NEUTRAL READER

Warnings: Sexual Themes, Mature/Explicit, Gender Neutral Reader, Tom Holland As Spider-Man, Not Proof Read

DISCLAIMER: Please be of the appropriate age ( i.e, Adult as per your country’s stipulations and regulations) before interacting with this post.

(Author’s Note: Requested by Anonymous user. My first time writing headcanons, I’ve barely even read any so I’m sorry if it’s not great ! Please request for more ! )

~What dating Parker feels like on a day to day basis

THE SKYLIGHT CATASTROPHE

One night, there’s a thud loud enough to rattle the walls, followed by an ominous silence. You know exactly what’s happened even before Peter pokes his head through the window, windswept and grinning sheepishly.“So, uh… surprise! You have a new skylight!”

You cross your arms, unimpressed. “You broke my roof again?”“Okay, technically, it was already fragile. I just… sped up the process.”

The next morning, you find him on the roof, duct tape and webs in hand, muttering to himself like he’s crafting a masterpiece.“Peter, you’re going to fall.”He waves you off without even looking up. “Relax! You’re being ridiculous. I’m Spider-Man—I won’t fall. Skylights are all the rage anyway. Just think of it as me upgrading your house for free!”

Right as he says it, his foot slips, and he stumbles forward, barely catching himself with a web against the gutter.“SEE? I caught myself!” he says triumphantly, cheeks flushed as he steadies himself.

You stare at him, appalled. “Peter, I’m not worried about you, you blithering idiot. I’m worried about my house! Fall on the road and break your head if you want, but I swear to god, if you break my house again—”

“Noted. No more house-breaking. Promise. Bob the Builder’s retired anyway,” he grins.

WEBBED LAUNDRY

You pull a ruined hoodie out of the wash—bright red, stretched beyond recognition, and sticky with web fluid. Marching into the living room, you hold it up like evidence.“Peter! Why is my hoodie fused with web glue?”

Peter looks up from the couch, cereal bowl in hand, his eyes widening. “Ohhh… yeah, about that…”

You glare, waiting.

“I, uh, might’ve had to yank my suit off super quickly after patrol last night—it was covered in webs—and I didn’t realize it stuck to your hoodie in the laundry pile.”

You narrow your eyes. “You didn’t realize?”

Peter sets the bowl down, flashing a nervous grin. “Look, web fluid is mostly water-soluble! If we wait a day, it’ll dissolve!”

You groan, holding up the ruined fabric. “It better dissolve. Or you’re buying me a new hoodie.”

Peter slides an arm around your waist, grinning. “Or… we could share this one? Exclusive Spider-Merch for my favorite person.”

THE GREAT SPIDER-MAN’S HANDYMAN FAILS

You and Peter finally move in together, which should have been exciting—except unpacking with Spider-Man is a nightmare.“Peter, where’s the box with the kitchen stuff?” you ask, arms crossed.

Peter scratches the back of his head, sheepishly pointing to a corner. “Uh… it’s webbed to the ceiling. I thought it’d save space?”

You sigh. “Okay, fine. But why is there a Spider-Tracer in the toaster?”

He grins nervously. “Security measure?”

Later, you catch him trying to web a shelf together instead of using screws.“PETER!”“What? This is structurally sound!”

THE HOODIE INCIDENT

Peter freezes when he sees you curled up in his hoodie, sleeves hanging past your hands.“You stole it again?”“Finders keepers.”

He steps closer, voice low and teasing. “Looks better on you anyway.”

Before you can respond, he tackles you onto the couch, hovering over you with a grin.“You’re not keeping it.”“Make me.”

MORNING HEATWAVE SNUGGLES

You wake up tangled in Peter’s limbs, his face buried in the crook of your neck. It’s cozy—until you realize he’s a human heater.“Peter. Let me go. I have stuff to do.”

“Five more minutes,” he murmurs, pulling you closer with ridiculous Spider-strength. “Spider-Boyfriend privilege.”

“You smell like sweat and bad decisions.”

Peter chuckles, his breath warm against your skin. “Want me to make another bad decision?” His lips brush your jaw as his voice drops, teasing. “I can make you sweaty too.”

Heat flares in your cheeks, but you manage to mutter, “You’re impossible.”

His smirk is pure trouble as he rolls you onto your back. “And you love it.”

SWINGING FOR BEGINNERS

The first time Peter suggests swinging with you, you laugh nervously. “No way. I like my life.”“It’s safe! You’ll love it—I promise.”

The moment he scoops you into his arms and leaps off the edge, you scream loud enough to wake half of Queens.“PETER, I SWEAR—”

“You’re fine!” he calls out, laughing as the wind whips past. “Just enjoy the ride!”

You bury your face in his shoulder, heart pounding. “I’m never letting go. Ever.”

Peter grins, holding you tighter. “Good. I wasn’t planning to let you go anyway.”

ROOFTOP MIDNIGHT ESCAPES

Peter swings into your room after patrol, his suit half-off, hair wild from the wind. “C’mon. Let’s go somewhere.”

Before you can finish protesting, he sweeps you into his arms like it’s the most natural thing in the world.“Peter!” you yelp, clutching his shoulders as he shoots a web and leaps into the night.“Trust me, I’ve got you,” he murmurs, his grin softening.

The wind whips past, adrenaline rushing through your veins as he swings effortlessly between buildings. When you finally land on a rooftop, he pulls you close, his lips brushing against your ear. “You’re not scared, are you?”“Not anymore,” you whisper, and his smirk grows as his lips meet yours, slow and steady, grounding you after the thrill.

POST SWING MOMENTS

After a particularly daring swing where Peter narrowly dodges a billboard, he sets you down on a rooftop, his arms still firmly wrapped around your waist.“Are you okay?” he murmurs, his voice low as his thumb brushes your cheek.“I’m fine, Peter. You can let go now.”

He doesn’t. His grip tightens, and his voice drops to a husky whisper. “You have no idea how hard it is to let you go.”

Your breath catches as his lips brush yours softly at first, then with increasing intensity. His hands slide to your lower back, pulling you closer until the world disappears around you.

“SHH, I’LL MAKE IT WORTH IT.”

Peter returns from patrol late at night, finding you half-asleep on the couch. He crouches down, brushing a kiss to your temple.“You awake?” he whispers.

You mumble something incoherent, only stirring when his lips brush yours again, this time slower, more deliberate.“Shh,” he murmurs, pinning your wrists gently above your head. His grin turns playful as he leans closer. “I’ll make it worth keeping you awake.”

Your heart races as his kisses deepen, trailing down the side of your neck. “You’re impossible,” you manage to say, though the way your breath hitches betrays you.

“And you love it,” he murmurs, his lips pressing firmly against your pulse, his smirk growing when you shiver under his touch.

SHOWER?

Peter comes home sweaty and grimy after patrol, and you shove him toward the shower. Minutes later, his head pokes out, water dripping over his shoulders as he leans lazily against the doorway.“You know… showers are more efficient with two people,” he says, his grin pure trouble.

You roll your eyes, turning back to your book. “Peter, no.”

He steps closer, letting water drip from his still-damp hair onto your shoulder as he leans down to whisper in your ear, his voice low. “You sure? I could scrub your back… or hold you against the tiles.”

Your cheeks burn, and you push him away half-heartedly, glaring. “Peter—”

He catches your wrist, pulling you to stand, his eyes locked on yours. “What?” he murmurs, tilting his head, his smirk teasing but his touch firm. “You’d look cute all wet.”

“Stop!” you squeak, swatting his chest, but he’s already laughing, pressing a kiss to your temple before finally retreating back to the bathroom.“I’ll leave the door unlocked, just in case,” he teases before disappearing behind the steam.

DATE

Peter had promised to meet you at the café after your shift. You’d been looking forward to it all day—just a simple hour with him, no superheroes, no chaos. But an emergency call from Ned about some escaped tech left you waiting alone, watching the minutes tick by.

When Peter finally arrived, his hair disheveled and guilt written all over his face, you didn’t even need to ask.“I’m so sorry,” he blurted out, his voice tinged with desperation. “There was this thing—Ned needed help—and I couldn’t just leave it—”

“It’s fine,” you said sharply, though your tone betrayed your disappointment. “I get it. You have other responsibilities.”

His shoulders slumped. “No, it’s not fine,” he muttered. “I messed up. And I know it’s not the first time.”

You sighed, softening as you saw the guilt etched across his face. “Peter…”

“I’ll make it up to you,” he said, almost pleading. “Just… give me a chance.”

Later that night, he showed up at your window with a bouquet of daisies that looked like they’d survived a tornado and a homemade playlist.“I know it’s not much,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “But these reminded me of you—bright and sweet. And I put all your favorite songs on here, so… I hope it makes up for me being a total idiot.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you took the flowers, pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” you muttered.

“Lucky you think I’m cute,” he teased, kissing your temple. “I’ll do better next time. Promise.”

TRIVIA NIGHT

Ned had invited you both to trivia night, but no one warned you how competitive Peter could get. It started innocently enough, with Peter rattling off science and history facts like a human encyclopedia. But when the questions shifted to pop culture, his confidence started to falter.

“You’ve never seen Mean Girls?” you asked, incredulous.“Uh, no?” he replied, looking genuinely confused.MJ rolled her eyes. “Peter, how do you even function as a person?”“I fight bad guys!” he defended, flustered. “I don’t have time for… whatever this is!”

As the final round approached, you noticed the way Peter’s brows furrowed, his shoulders tensing like he was about to swing into battle. Leaning over, you cupped his face gently, forcing him to meet your gaze.“Peter,” you said, your voice teasing but warm, “you’re cute when you’re losing.”

His jaw dropped, and before he could protest, you kissed him in front of everyone.

Ned let out a dramatic gasp. “In public? With witnesses?!”MJ snorted. “That’s disgusting. I’m rooting for you two.”

When you pulled back, Peter’s face was a brilliant shade of red, but the grin he gave you was dazzling.“I don’t even care if I lose now,” he whispered, leaning in for another kiss. “This is so worth it.”

HANDMADE

Peter had been acting strange all week—fidgety, distracted, and overly secretive. You were starting to wonder if something was wrong when he showed up at your door with a small, carefully wrapped box and a sheepish grin.

“What’s this?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as he practically shoved it into your hands.“Just… open it,” he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Inside was a sleek black flashlight, surprisingly lightweight, with a small engraved spider emblem on the side. You turned it over in your hands, curious.

“It’s not just a flashlight,” Peter said quickly, scratching the back of his neck. “I, uh, noticed you sometimes leave the light on at night, and I thought… maybe this would help.”

Your chest tightened. He’d picked up on your fear of the dark without you ever telling him outright.

“It’s also kind of… Spider-Man-approved,” he added, gesturing nervously. “There’s a tracker inside, so I’ll always know where you are. And if you press the button three times really fast, it sends an SOS directly to me.”

You stared at him, overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness of it all. “Peter…”“I just want you to feel safe,” he said softly, his brown eyes earnest. “Even when I’m not around. You’re my world, and I want you to have something to remind you that I’m always here for you.”

Your throat felt tight as you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him. “I don’t even know what to say,” you murmured against his shoulder.

“‘Thank you’ works,” he joked, though his voice was thick with emotion.

Pulling back, you met his gaze and smiled. “Thank you, Peter. I love it. And I love you.”

His face lit up, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you close. “I love you too. Always.”

SPILLING

Peter had always admired how hard you worked. While he juggled Spider-Man and school, you balanced late-night shifts, studying at your rundown public school, and still somehow found time to make him feel like the center of your world. But admiration wasn’t the only thing he felt—sometimes, he felt inadequate.

On the other hand, you often wondered how you ended up with someone like Peter Parker. He was a literal superhero, acing advanced physics while you struggled with Algebra II. You worked part-time jobs just to help keep the lights on at home, and there were days when you felt like you’d drown under the weight of it all.

That tension finally bubbled over one evening. Peter swung by your place unannounced, but his usual warmth was absent. He dropped onto your couch with a sigh, his shoulders slumping.

“You okay?” you asked, sitting beside him.

He shook his head, staring at his hands. “How do you do it?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Do what?”

“Everything,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “You don’t have superpowers, or Stark tech, or a fancy school helping you out. And you’re still… incredible. You’re better at life than I am, and I’ve got every advantage.”

The words stung—not because of what he said, but because they mirrored your own insecurities.

“What are you trying to say?” you asked, your voice cracking as you braced yourself for what felt inevitable.

Peter hesitated, his jaw working as he tried to find the right words. “You deserve someone who can keep up with you. And I’m not sure I’m enough.”

Your breath hitched, and before you could stop them, tears began streaming down your cheeks. “Wait, are you saying this is over?”

“What? No!” Peter sat up straight, his hands shooting out to reach for yours. “That’s not what I meant! I’m talking about me, not you! I’m the one who’s not enough!”

“You are enough!” The words burst out of you, but the crack in your voice betrayed how deeply his statement had shaken you. “I’m the one who’s not enough, Peter. Look at you! You’re saving lives while I’m just trying to keep the lights on at home.”

Peter’s brows furrowed, guilt flooding his features. “What? No—no, don’t say that.”

“But it’s true,” you whispered, pulling your hands free and wrapping your arms around yourself. “I can barely make it through my shifts without wondering if I’m going to mess something up. And then I see you—perfect Peter Parker, superhero and genius—and I just… I feel so small.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between you. Then Peter moved closer, carefully placing his hands on your shoulders. “You’re not small,” he said softly, his voice trembling. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

You let out a bitter laugh, wiping your eyes. “I’m not.”

“You are,” Peter insisted, gently tilting your chin up so you’d look at him. “You don’t have powers, but you work harder than anyone I’ve ever met. You care about people. You care about me. And I…” He trailed off, his voice breaking. “I don’t always feel like I deserve that.”

Your breath caught at the raw vulnerability in his words. “You don’t have to be perfect, Peter. You don’t have to save me, or prove anything. I just want you.”

He stared at you, his eyes glistening. “I want you too,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “And I’m sorry I made you think otherwise. I just… I don’t always know how to keep up with someone like you.”

“We’re both trying to keep up,” you said quietly, leaning forward until your foreheads touched. “And that’s okay. We’ll figure it out together.”

Peter nodded, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you into his chest. “Yeah,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Together.”

The two of you sat like that for a long time, the weight of your shared insecurities fading, replaced by something stronger—a quiet, unshakable love.

SERIOUS

Peter comes home late—bruised, bleeding, and far too casual about it. You snap.“Do you like scaring me to death?”“It’s just a scratch!” he argues, dropping his mask on the couch.“Peter, you’re not invincible. What happens if one day you don’t come back?”

He pauses, guilt flickering across his face. “I can’t stop being Spider-Man.”“And I can’t stop worrying about you,” you whisper, your voice breaking.

He looks away, fiddling with his web-shooter. “I don’t want to scare you. I’m sorry.”

MAYBE NOT SO SERIOUS?

Later that night, Peter finds you sitting on the fire escape, staring out at the skyline. He hesitates before sitting beside you.“I hate fighting with you,” he says quietly. “You’re the only person who makes all of this feel worth it.”

You exhale slowly, leaning into him. “Then don’t make me feel like I’m losing you.”His arm wraps around you, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ll do everything I can to come home to you. That’s a promise.”

He presses his forehead to yours, and when his lips brush yours, it’s soft and full of unspoken apologies.

THANK YOU FOR READING ! PLEASE SEND KINKMAS REQUESTS AND PROMPTS! <3 Please Request if you’d like me to expand the headcanon into SMUT <3

[jscrawls]

Grave mistakes

Gotham City is full of a lot of characters, criminals, creepy clowns, man eating plants, eccentric billionaires. But all that rolled into one household?

Warning: contains mentions of blood, witches, general spooky stuff, it's an Addams reader they're gonna be freaky,

Part 7: call the nursing home, and maybe a priest…

🔹🔹🔹

“who knew an old woman could disappear from a lobby so quickly.”

The lady officer scratches the back of her head confusedly while looking through the security tapes over and over again, trying to figure out what happened to the ancient woman that was just here not even twenty minutes ago.

You, who's still covered in dried blood, lean against the counter interestedly as the lady switches cameras to watch the woman hurriedly hobble out of the parking lot onto the streets.

“Oh that's no surprise to me at all, it's how she's avoided being committed.” You sigh wistfully and pull a handkerchief out of your pocket to wipe at your brow as if that'll cleanse the long-dried scarlet mess of you.

“Committed to what? A retirement home?” Alfred grunts in offense at Bruce's remark, both men share a look when you sigh even louder and dramatically toss your handkerchief down.

“No, the sanitarium.” You turn away from the desk and start to head towards the glass double-doors leading in and out of the police station, marching like a soldier training for war. “I'll be needing to find the ol thing, who knows what that witch will get into in this city.”

Bruce rolls his eyes and follows after you rather quickly, your pace is surprisingly fast. “Witch? I take it you don't get on with her then?” He murmurs a bit hesitantly, unsure if family affairs are off limits with you. Then again he doesn't think anything is really considered off limits in your books.

Your shoes practically squeak as you spin around to face the man, eyes creepily wide as you shake your head quickly. “Oh no! Me and grandmama get along like a house and fire, or like maggots on a carcass, or like- you get the point. That's just simply what she is.”

Bruce feels like this entire day is setting up to already be awful, call it a gut feeling or intuition, he just knows he's going to regret getting out of bed this morning.

“…. She's a witch.” He doesn't even bother to act polite in the moment, he'd rather deal with aliens in Gotham than a magic user. Please don't be serious, please don't be serious-

“Mhmm! The best of the best! You should see the old purse get going when she's had a bit of Googie juice, she'll predict futures, look at your past lives, and contact the forgotten things in the cold dimension. She also likes magic mud wrestling.” You again turn on your heel and head for the door after dropping that on Bruce and Alfred, clearly not caring for the impact you've created.

“Oh my God…. Wait, wait a minute.” Bruce scrubs a hand down his face and quickly grabs at your arm before you get too far, what the hell is wrong with you?

Alfred steps in front of you as well, effectively cutting off your path. “Mx Addams, don't you think you should get yourself cleaned up right now? I'm certain it'll make looking for your grandmother…. Easier on the public.”

Him and Bruce share a relieved look over your shoulder when you glance down at yourself and frown, surely you're going to agree- “I see no issue here, I'm sure the blood of the wicked will attract her to me, like catnip!”

“Can you please do this one thing? Make my life just the tiniest bit easier today?” Does Bruce feel pathetic begging? Yes, yes he does. He doesn't like things deviating away from his ideals, even in his public persona he doesn't plead outside of something playful with non-acquaintance's. He's just glad Alfred doesn't look at him.

“i don’t usually make a habit of making things easy for people, but i suppose i could do this for my very good friend!” you don’t get what the big deal everyone is so focused on, but you’ll play ball. you wanna see if your roomies made it home all right anyways.

alfred and bruce both share a sigh of relief and start pulling you away from the main lobby to try and get you out a side door so you’re less likely to scare the general public. “wonderful, i’m sure your grandmother is fine….and the police will be keeping an eye out for her besides.”

you hum uncertainly as alfred speaks, yet still let the men guide you outside and towards their car. “i believe you my good friend, but i’m not sure they’ll want to find her. grandmama doesn’t like the authorities all that much.”

both men look at you questioningly as they usher you into their vehicle, bruce is the one to question you once you’re all seated. “is it a…witch thing?”

“hmm? oh, no. grandmama was arrested at stonewall.” at that bruce actually chuckles quietly in relief while alfred starts up the car.

“that sounds better than what i was imagining honestly…”

“really? now you’ve got me curious! she was casting fireballs at the police and nearly managed to catch one for a sacrifice but now i want to know what you were imagining, i want ideas!”

🔹🔹🔹

after the awkward car ride back to your neighborhood you’re quick to say goodbye to the men and trot up the long driveway to your own manor, dodging around snapping carnivorous plants and aggressive vines, you don’t have time to be slowly eaten right now after all!

your hearse is parked in the driveway so clearly the dames made it home last night most likely in one piece, that man wasn’t very good with his knife after all, poor ladies. the angry screaming you can barely hear from in the manor confuses you though, it’s past tea time isn’t it? you check your pocket watch just to make sure you’re not mistaken.

“get out you big freak! get out of our house!” that sounds like pamela? surely the swamp rats didn’t get in again! when you open the front door you see what’s going on.

“you heard the redhead! get lost before we smash ya head open zombie!”

harley’s hanging off the moose head waving around one of your swords while pamela has plants wrapped around her arms and legs defensively, both women yelling at the top of their lungs at the statuesque figure standing stock still in your front room….

“(Name)? Watch out there's a big freak here-” Harley starts to yell but the words die out as you quickly shut the front door and dart in the room.

“lurch? oh is that really you my friend? i’m so happy to see you!” you quickly run over to the giant of a man and throw yourself at him while the two women fall silent at your sudden appearance, their expressions twisted in horrified confusion while the giant turns and wraps you in a bone-crushing hug, his face still as expressionless as when he first entered the home. “hello, master addams.”

the strange mans extremely deep voice makes the two confused women flinch, but you just laugh heartily while he squeezes the life out of you.

“you sneaky devil! did you come down with grandmama just to see me incarcerated? oh you should’ve told me! i would’ve thrown extra itching powder in a couple of the guest rooms!”

pamela sighs loudly and walks over to you, interrupting your reunion while her plants retreat to her arms like little green kittens. “hang on, hang on a second. this is one of your relatives?”

you glance over at her, still being held off the ground by the giant. “well, he has the heart of an addams so yes!”

harley quickly scrambles off the moose head and trots over to push pamela aside to question you. “forget about all that! how’re you home? i thought you was in the slammer?”

“i got bailed out!” lurch drops you like a potato sack and you land on your face, causing both women to wince before you leap back to your feet to continue on like nothing happened.

pamela looks confused though and quickly pushes harley out of her way to properly scowl at you with crossed arms. “i’m pretty sure you need to go through court and have a judge set your bail before you can-” “that’s not important right now, cousin venom! i’m home and i need to get cleaned up so i can go find grandmama…..she’s not here right?”

you quickly turn on your heel to stare up at lurch questioningly, he slowly shakes his head in response. “grandmama is in the city, master addams.”

you quickly whirl back around to face the two women again while dramatically gesturing at yourself. “so then i need to find her! i’m getting cleaned up and ready to go back out on the town before grandmama does something crazy, i’d like to watch it happen after all!”

“well have fun with that i guess, i’m laying low for a while…” pamela turns around and strolls off towards the direction of the library, leaving you with harley and lurch.

“welp, looks like it’s just us three then!”

“nuh-uh, nope. i’m staying here with my woman today…sorry kooky spooky.” harley shrugs and then quickly darts away before you can start lamenting at her or something. undeterred, you just grin up at the giant butler and turn towards the door. “looks like it’s just us two! come along mr lurch!”

he grabs the back of your coat and firmly stops you in your tracks before you can even take three steps. “master addams, aren’t you forgetting something.”

“um….i didn’t forget grandmama? she ran away so it’s a technicality my good friend.”

“master addams, you were saying you wished to bathe first?”

startled, you look down at your blood-covered self as if you’d completely forgotten why you went home in the first place.

“oh right!”

🔹🔹🔹

This has to be a meta, there's no other explanation in Jason's mind when he's looking up at an elderly woman on top of a three story building that doesn't have any ladders or fire escapes on it, maybe it's a cruel, cruel prank someone's pulling on the old bat. For her part she looks rather comfortable nestled in between air conditioning vents and old satellite stands, a falling-apart shawl covers her moth chewed dress and slippers, and…..a lantern sits in the crook of her elbow? Jason doesn't wanna ask. and the poor things bone white hair is a total birds nest around her shoulders. Jason's certain this is a woman who needs a caretaker. Hopefully she's not hurt…

“uh, miss?…. Ma'am can you hear me up there?”

she doesn't so much as twitch at Jason's voice, she's just staring straight ahead with a vacant expression on her wrinkled face like she hasn't a care in the whole world. either she's hard of hearing or she's having a medical event, the thought is enough to spur Jason into action and he quickly starts looking for a way up there.

He circles the building and sees that the only doors in are securely locked and there's no windows on the first floor for him to climb on or break through, so he goes to the neighboring building and climbs the fire escape.

It's an easy jump, though he really doubts the elder managed something like that herself judging by the look of her. She's still sitting when Jason lands with a thump and carefully walks over to her, she could be startled and slip after all.

“Ma'am?….I mean you no harm, I'm just here to check on you…” he speaks slowly and loudly, trying to approach her from the side with raised hands so she might see him without getting scared or something.

She blinks and looks over at him unconcerned, barely even sparing him a glance before looking back over the narrows like it's the most interesting place to be. “Hmm, there you are boy. I was starting to wander when you'd show up, help your grandmama up now.”

She holds her unoccupied arm up expectantly, so Jason carefully pulls her to her feet and steadies her while pulling her away from the buildings ledge, this must be a dementia situation or something, the thought makes his chest ache just a bit but he pushes it down to focus on the woman. “I'm here, let's get you down and get you some help…”

The old lady scoffs and gestures at him with her lantern while he leads her. “don't rush me! I'm still listening!”

She tugs on his arm while gesturing at her ears, which Jason is certain don't work properly, he has a feeling she's maybe stuck in a memory or something since Gothams rather quiet at the moment, unless she's listening to the traffic? He has doubts.

“…oh yeah? Can you sit on this vent and listen? I should make a call real quick…” he's not quite sure how to get her down without doing something that'll jostle and possibly hurt her. So he's got no choice but to call in some backup. Maybe someone with a pole truck with a built in wheel chair?

“Shhh, they're talking about you…” she loudly shushes him, fingers pressed against her thin lips while her unfocused eyes seem to stare through him rather than at him. Jason tries not to shiver.

“all good things I hope, now just sit tight-” he's interrupted by her again shushing him, it's a bit of a struggle to not roll his eyes at her antics now, Jason has to remind himself that she's probably unwell at the moment.

“Shhh….ahh, I see. I see…I'll tell him. Boy, it's not your fault.” The old lady huffs out while dropping down on the vent with a soft thump, her thinning white brows pinch together while her lips pull down into a grimace and she keeps tilting her head around like she's listening to something. It's creeping Jason out, but he ignores it to pull his phone out.

“What's not my fault.” he mutters gruffer than he intended while unlocking his phone, god he needs to get a lid on things.

“Your death.”

Her simple spoken words knock all the thoughts right out of his head though, the tiny thing is just gaping up at him unblinkingly like she's waiting for him to react. Is this a joke? Surely it's not fuck with Jason week just yet. “I-excuse me?”

What the fuck is he supposed to say to that?

She continues on with the same tone of voice like it's nothing. “It's not your fault you died, you weren't ever the bad one out of the bunch, boy. No matter what the living said about it after the fact. The voices know for a fact and they never lie, except when they want to of course.”

She nods her head with some finality before again looking away from him and starting to leer at some pigeons flying above them.

It feels like someone just dumped cold water on his head and slapped the shit out of him, Jason nearly drops his cellphone in what can only be described as animalistic panic, he can feel every hair on his body standing on edge, every breath feels like he's pulling it through a tube, his eyes and mouth feel as dry as sand. He doesn't know what to do for a moment as he hears his heartbeat pounding up in his ears.

“…. What are you-” she again shushes him and points around the empty rooftop. “Don't question it, you'll never be able to decipher their words if you don't listen to them first.”

“What the fuck.”

The old lady cackles at his vulgar words and she honest to God sounds like a stereotypical witch, Jason doesn't know what to do with himself besides backing away from her slowly, what has he walked himself into here!??

“You younguns and your swearing, back in my day we used proper curses when we had the need. Now no one even learns Latin.” She cackles again and slowly pushes herself onto unsteady feet, and then promptly runs away from Jason.

“Wait-oh shit.” Jason follows after her albeit reluctantly, she's probably a mind reader or maybe a magic user? But some part of him is still kinda worried about her popping a hip or something…

“Damn it…come back here ma'am!” He didn't even get her name so he can check if a home is missing some Eldritch horror granny from their care.

🔹🔹🔹

Was Alfred pleased to see the Addams blood free and not smelling like pennies? Yes, but he doesn't appreciate being jump-scared by their very tall friend…

He was just opening the door to the excessive loud knocking when a very large hand landed roughly on his shoulder and nearly knocked him over, he thought he was being attacked before he heard that familiar chipper voice. “Alfred! I've done as asked and look who i brought to meet you!”

He reels back in alarm while you throw both your hands at the tall man, like a celebrity showing off their date to the cameras. The blank stare and dull eyes creep him out far more than he'd care to admit.

“….I see, hello there mister…?” Alfred reluctantly sticks a hand out for a handshake, trying not to grimace at the pair on the front stoop. He's quite relieved when the large man doesn't squeeze him too much.

“Lurch.”

“ah…. Hello master lurch.”

“it's just lurch.”

Alfred just nods mutely before turning away to go find Bruce, preferably quickly. He's not going to argue over titles with the man.

Assuming the open door is an invitation, you stroll right in and follow after Alfred while lurch trails after you dutifully, the place is much too clean and bright for your taste but hey, as Harley says you shan't yuck someone else's yum.

“Ahem, You keep a very…. Nice place here, Alfred.” You say politely while dragging a finger along the underside of a random display table, checking for grime or maybe cobwebs, but alas there isn't even any spiders in here! Lurch steadies a vase you nearly bump over and pulls you away from the table.

To his credit Alfred looks completely composed again despite how you and your companion startled him earlier, he manages to chuckle weakly at the obviously forced compliment as he walks further down the halls, you're like a gothic little duckling that quickly follows after his step. “Thank you, I take great pride in my work for the Wayne's.”

You grin broadly and quickly move up beside him so you can walk backwards to chat with the man. “So does our sweet lurch! You two have so much in common already I think you'd make the best of friends!”

With a quick glance over his shoulder Alfred watches as the stone faced man follows the both of you with a scowl frozen on his odd face, Alfred quickly looks ahead before they make eye contact.

“…. That's lovely, master Addams…” he mutters dryly.

“Alfred, is that the new freak across the hill?” Damian peeks his head around a doorframe with a frown on his face, glaring at the two guests like he already hates them, Alfred doesn't even have time to scold the boy before dick's already on it. The man popping around the same doorframe to frown at the preteen.

“Damian be nice, that's not how you talk to Bruce's neighbor.” he smiles awkwardly at you while eyeing lurch warily, tugging on his gym shirt half self-consciously before he casually steps around Damian to greet you.

“sorry about him, you know how kids are…”

“What, honest? I am the freak across the hill so I don't see an issue, what's your name young gentleman?”

Damian steps around dick, who was trying to subtly signal him to back off, to stand in front of you with that scowl still firmly in place. He refuses your offered handshake and instead looks you up and down judgingly.

“Damian Wayne, why are you in my house, freak?”

You just grin wider at the boys attitude. “Oh you're delightful, my niece Wednesday would love you….Actually, why am I in here?” you glance at Alfred real quick while the older man let's out a long suffering sigh.

“I was going to go fetch master Bruce so we could discuss your grandmother's disappearance.”

Dick looks over at you with a raised eyebrow in question. “Your Granny's missing?”

“Mhmm, she's somewhere in Gotham allegedly. Though she could've finally keeled over somewhere so I can't say for sure.”

The three Wayne's stare at you in silence before lurch leans down to speak to you. “Mistress frump would've started haunting you by now if she were deceased.”

You hum considerably and stroke your chin as you consider your cousins butler's words. “Hmm, good point lurch. Well since she's probably still alive I plan to go find her before she gets into trouble.”

Dick manages to snap back first and tries to force a casual air when he speaks. “You're worried about her, huh. I'm sure she's be going to be okay.”

You blink confusedly and slowly shake your head at that, what an odd question! “No, not at all. I'd like to watch grandmama get into some kind of perilous situation, it's practically an Addams tradition!”

Damian's scowl deepens as he follows after you, his tone even more venomous than before. “Father was right, you really are a horrible creature.”

“Damian!” Both Alfred and dick say scoldingly, Alfred shaking his head exasperatedly while dick tries to keep a polite smile on his face as he looks at you, it looks painful at this point.

You spin around and slap a hand over your heart dramatically. “He said that about me?….”

“I'm sure it was a joke-” dick tries to comfort you but you quickly cut him off with an odd giggle. “…I didn't realize Mr Wade was so sweet! I've not been called a creature in so long…”

Dick drags a palm down his face while muttering a “I should've expected that…” to himself, turning away from you to stroll down the hallway, Alfred and Damian follow after him so of course so do you and lurch. You're curious if the Wayne manor has any interesting rooms in it or if everything is just clean marble.

Unfortunately everything's clean and not at all disgusting or odd, there's not even a play room from what you've seen! No torture racks or even any poison set out for guests, the place honestly feels a bit unwelcoming.

“so why’d you stab that guy, freak? do you think you can do what you want in this city just because you’re rich?” damian glares back at you as you follow him, the kids eyes full of distrust and caution, he watches you like you’re a fox in the coop, it’s so endearing! “not at all! I would've stabbed the man if I didn't have a penny to my name, in fact a was surprised I was bailed out, I was under the impression I was going to prison or perhaps that lovely little institution in town.”

Dick gives you a confused look. “Institution? You mean Arkham asylum?”

Just as you nod Bruce rounds a doorway and pauses upon seeing the group in front of him, his brows furrowing while you excitedly wave at him. “…. Is something wrong with Arkham?

Alfred and dick both quickly shake their heads. “No, just a little…. Conversation with your neighbor here.”

Dick jabs his thumb over his shoulder in your direction, Bruce tries not to stare at lurch as you again wave enthusiastically at him.

“I see….. Well Addams I was just going to call you, it's about your grandmother…”

“really!?” You immediately perk up and dart closer to Bruce, Damian jumps in front of the man though and points at you aggressively. “watch it! No sudden moves in our home, freak.”

Bruce is quick to correct Damian before anything can escalate, he gently grabs his shoulder while gesturing at you. “Damian, mind your manners. Sorry about him, now your granny is…”

He trails off with pursed lips, his face tense in such a way that you and everyone else start to think the worst, or best depending on who you ask. Bruce sighs and releases Damian to grab his phone to show you something.

“…is this her?” The man already sounds resigned before he even presses play, you watch a news reel of an elderly woman wrestling with a…. Scary monster? It's huge, scaly skinned with long curled dark claws and yellowed worn fangs to match, the crocodilian tail lashes wildly as it tries in vain to wrestle off the elderly woman in the shawl. You replay the short clip a few times just to try and get a better look at everything…

“that's definitely grandmama…. Who is that….. That Handsome crocodile man?”

When you look up you see four separate looks of disappointment directed at you, clearly the Wayne's have no taste.

🔹🔹🔹

M.list | prev | next

A/n: wow this is a long chapter 😐 I didn't even get to Grandmama yet but this was getting out of hand! Anyways I hope y'all are having a lovely day/night and remember to take care of yourselves! 😚🖤💜🖤

Taglist: @lunarapple @ladykamos @itsberrydreemurstuff @redkarmakai @qardasngan @ibelyss

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

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If ur tag doesnt work, pls check ur settings to see if ur a "searchable blog"!! Its not the same as the Ai selling data thing.

[folkloresthings]

❛ HEAVEN KNOWS ❜ ❨ lando norris x singer!reader ❩

📻 track three: you’re just a boy (and i’m kinda the man)

in which the they were the perfect couple, until they weren’t. or in which we take a look back into what made heaven itself fall apart.

… OCTOBER 2023

INSTAGRAM. october second.

liked by irisapatow, rachelzegler and 810,673 more

yourusername time for another track! 🤡 i first started writing you're just a boy (and i'm kinda the man) after listening non-stop to taylor swift and shania twain and i decided what i really needed was to take those feelings and make a female power song of my own. so i wrote one! it helped me to remember that losing the love of a man does not make you any less of a person, and i hope it can do the same for others. oh, and it's also a bop.

view all 499,020 comments

user QUEEN

taylorswift you're kinda making me feel like... i'm the man 💪👸

user i fear this will tear lando's ego to shreds

⤷ user it doesn't feel fair on him, like he doesn't get to tell his side of the story

⤷ user girl there's definitely a reason he's kept quiet 😭

lissiemackintosh soooo excited for this one!!!! my new karaoke song?

⤷ yourusername come at do it at the concerts

⤷ lissiemackintosh i like your fans too much to do that to them

user CLOWN LANDO ERA

REWIND... OCTOBER 2022

"guess what, guess what!"

lando was mid-game when you rushed into the living room, glancing up from the television when you bound into view. he slips back one side of his headphones, eyes following suit a few moments later once the screen is paused.

“what?”

“guess!”

lando sighs, but a smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. “lewis finally retired?”

“no, silly.” scoffing, you slap at his arm and plonk down next to him on the couch. “management just called — i’ve been asked if i want to do a world stadium tour. the bowl, wembley, madison square garden!”

lando’s mouth fell open in slight shock, your excitement obviously contagious as his eyes light up. in a split second he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly.

“holy shit, babe,” he murmurs, squeezing your waist.

“i know,” you squeal quietly, muffled against his shoulder. “they just need to set up the next album release and then announce the dates.”

behind your embrace, the cogs of lando’s head start to turn and calculate the information. sitting back, he looks at you with confusion set in his brow.

“when would that be?” he asks, head tilted.

you shrug, not noticing his growing resentment of the news. “depends. they want the album done for late summer, so that means an autumn release. so probably in the new year.”

“the second half of the season?”

lando’s cold tone makes you smile, almost uncomfortably, waiting for his former excitement to return. uneasily, you nod.

“well, yeah, but—”

“i thought you said you were going to come to all the races, since you’ve only been to monaco and silverstone this season?” he cuts you off. you catch the frustration in his eyes like a hawk, shifting off of his lap before it bubbles over. “you’re not going to be able to do that if you’re on tour.”

“that’s not true,” you try and reason, hopeful that your calm tone might balance his. “there’s texas and vegas. besides, i don’t even know what dates i’ll have shows yet, i could fly in for race days.”

lando shakes his head, pushing himself from the couch cushions and onto his feet. “that’s not the point. you promised you’d be there for me this season. i actually have a chance for once, and you don’t even care.”

the dismissive tone that spits off his tongue makes you flinch, a heavy frown falling around your cheeks. “what am i supposed to do? turn down my biggest tour yet to come watch you race every single week?”

“yes!” lando exclaims, turning sharply. “that’s what good girlfriends do — look at kika and lily!”

anger pricks at your eyes and throat, swallowing hard to keep it at bay. “you haven’t been to one of my shows in months. you don’t even have time to listen to demos when i ask you to. there are two of us in this relationship, lando. it isn’t always about you.”

you see his defence ready behind his lips but you’re quicker, ready before he can speak.

“i went to every single race last season,” you tell him. your tone is calm, steady — making the words even more intense. “every one. i have been your biggest fan since day one. so don’t ever, ever, say i’m being selfish.”

lost for words, lando stares at you. only because he knows it’s true does he halt his argument there, turning and storming into the bedroom to preserve some dignity. you stare at the slamming door and wonder how he can watch on so easily as you slip through his fingers, and not want to do anything at all?

INSTAGRAM. november twenty—fourth.

liked by danielricciardo, maxfewtrell and 928,244 others

yourusername always your #1 fan (even when you dnf) 🫶

view all 630,737 comments

carlossainz55 did he get a lollipop for being a good patient?

⤷ yourusername and a sticker 😄😄

user poor lando

landonorris my favourite nurse ❤️

user they’re sooooo cute

user that crash looked bad

yourusername dw guys i’m giving him lots of kisses and rubs better !!!!!

⤷ landonorris not as many as i’d like 😏

⤷ yourusername you’ve got a hello kitty plaster on your head you cannot be seductive right now

"oh, shit."

the fight that dreaded evening had hung over both you and lando for weeks, both of you much too stubborn to admit to any wrongdoing or, god forbid, apologise. but you carried on. if anything it was worse than not speaking. it was like nothing had happened, as if the conversation never even happened, as long as neither one of you mentioned it. still, there was a tension holding you at arms length from each other.

so to not bring up the same argument again, you followed lando to the next few races. come vegas, you had given yourself so much time to think about things and the way lando had handled it all that your mind was screaming at you to leave. to book a flight home, pack up your stuff and go. because how much more of this could you take? you weren't the trophy girlfriend, the wag whose only job was to look pretty beside her accomplished boyfriend.

you would do it after vegas, you decided. there was a few days off; time for you to talk to lando and explain your feelings, before walking out with your head held high just in time for the next race. then, the worst happened.

chatting idly to lily, the race only just beginning, you almost missed it. for a moment, you thought it was oscar spinning out. the bright orange sparks masked which number was painted onto the car, spinning drastically until the nose of the vehicle slammed into the barriers. lily grasped your arm, her sympathetic eyes making you look twice. number four, lando.

in a daze, you followed the one of the marshalls through the busy paddock until you reached the ambulance area. he had already been loaded in, paramedics and mclaren employees surrounding him. there wasn't enough room, they needed to go now.

"hop in, i'll drive you," charlotte's gentle voice appeared beside you, guiding you into the car as the ambulance hurried off. "they said he's probably fine, they just want to do the usual checks."

you nod, trusting her. you could always trust charlotte, right?

after what felt like hours, you arrived to the hospital and didn't think twice about elbowing every single person out of your way until you reached lando's room. he was laid still on the bed, eyes watching the small television in the corner. his leg was strapped up, an iv stuck into his arm, various bruises littering his skin and face. he looked up when he heard you, a crooked smile playing on his lips.

"it looks worse than it is," he assured you, noticing the panic in your eyes straight away. you breathe out some of the relief, the rest coming in a sudden pool of tears. "hey - hey, c'mere."

lando outstretches the arm that doesn't hurt like a bitch, ushering you to his side. you don't hesitate, lip wobbling as you hurry over and perch yourself on the side of the bed. tucked into his shoulder, you nuzzle as closely as you can without hurting him.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," you mumble, and you both know just what you're apologising for. what was a stupid fight worth when chalked up to all of this?

"me too," lando replies quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of your head.

sitting back, you look over his face. a small scratch from the helmet, just above his cheekbone. his eyes are drooping, tired from the impact and the drugs. you sniffle and smile sadly, thumb brushing over the wound.

"i'm going to move the tour," you tell him, and note that he doesn't protest. "if i'm on the other side of the world and something happens, i—”

lando shakes his head, cutting you off with a kiss. "nothing's going to happen. i'm still in one piece, aren't i?"

you hesitate, then nod, letting him shift over so you can lay next to him. resting your head on his chest, both of you quietly watching the rest of the race, you feel your head spin. maybe he had been losing you, but could you survive losing him?

writers note: we're back baby. lando count yr days my man

taglist: @openthenyoor01 @racingheartsworld @celestialend @cha-hot @gr1mes-cc @bingussthirdtoe @destinyg237 @theonottsbxtch @allywthsr @imsorare @youdontknowmeshh @bellewintersroe @orangetreekid

[sandra-vu]

The Sims 3 MODS LIST

this is basically a list of everything i have in my game right now (minus custom content). i'm very satisfied with this setup and i hope you can find something you'll find useful. everything is sorted in alpabetical order, because i love alphabetical order lol read mod descriptions before downloading and don't forget to thank the creators for their hard work! :)

ESSENTIAL / PERFORMANCE / SETTINGS x Add Any Lot Size x Catalog search x Gameplay Core Mod (tweaked to my liking, might show you my settings sometime if you'd like) x Interact on sloped terrain x New CAS and CAP animation options (posehum_posepets version) x No Camera Fade for Sims x No Foot Tapping While Waiting For Clear Route! x No Route Fail Tantrum Animations! x NRaas (Error trap, Go here, Master controller, Overwatch, Register) x Pregnancy Progress Controller (No Non Pregnant version) x Reduce/Remove Lag caused by Houseboats x Remove stencils/overlays from Build/Buy/CAS objects x Shimrod's Camera Lowlevel (edited by BrntWaffles) (Drift version) x Smooth patch

TWEAKS / FIXES x Anach tweaks (bouncer bribe x10, burglar tweaks, celebrity difficulty, celeb sue paparazzi, club closing times (5 am), donation amount, higher bills, longer eating, no auto pet wake up, party tweaks, wash hands chance) x Annoyances disabler x Cross eye fix x No "Mod scripts found" x No auto venue placement (reupload found here) x No build sparkles x No gloves w outerwear x No intro x Pick up toddler fix x Pigtail glitch fix x Random sim fixes x Set hour cheat x Slower cars, taxis, and bikes x Toddler routing fix

GAMEPLAY x 75% Chance per day elder will die x Acne & Skincare (tweaked – only teens) x Adults can play peekaboo and hug toddlers x Almost all TheSweetSimmer's mods (family gameplay must haves!) x Auto lights overhaul x Burglar hate x Burglars steal simoleons too x Cancel time off x Children can series (almost all of them) x Easy variety attraction x Energy drinks V2 x Faster gardening 50% x Fridge mod (no fridge shopping) x Get drunk x Hang out interaction (2t3) (all ages) x Layoff mod x Let me take a selfie x Lot population (reduced) x Meals anytime + some desserts x No autonomous homework x No imaginary friends x No mutated hair or eyes x No social groups (uni only) x Random genetics x Retirement home & elder care x Shorter Uni (3 credit hours) x Sims can skate on smaller ponds x Skating is fun x Take practice shots (photography) x Tooth fairy mod x User-directed scolding + other punishment tweaks x Wider TV viewing angle x Yoga mod

SLIDERS x AWT - Hat sliders x OEM – Eyeball size

DEFAULT REPLACEMENTS (MISC) x Apple Sauce Baby food (4t3) x Better ingredient thumbnails x Clean UI (BETA) x Facial Expressions (ALT) (TSM to TS3) x Fish mod x HD thought bubbles x Loading Screen Overhaul x Modern cursors x Modern map tags x Nectar glass replacer x New dishes (BOWL & MUG) (4t3) x TV Channels (4t3) x Walk cycle edits

DEFAULT REPLACEMENTS (CAS) x 2t3 plantsim body vines x Beards and eyebrows x Beetle eyes for cats and dogs x Beetle eyes for horses x Beetle eyes for humans (i also use these contacts for occults) x Blush baby skin (infant) x CAS background (steel blue) x ChazyBazzy hair defaults (pretty and still very maxis match textures, EA meshes) x Eye colors (presets) x Eyeball replacements – PU-CU / TU-EU x Freckles and moles x - x Makeup replacements x Skin - Satellites (DEF & NON-DEF)

DEFAULT REPLACEMENTS (ENVIRONMENT) x Better sun x Moon x Perfect Day – RH water with Gelina’s lighting tweaks x Reworked & Improved EA Lights x Skyrim Star Field (1024x1024) x Windows Lite Overrides

[satoruhour]

hello :) may i ask a husband nanami headcanons? your so talented!

a/n: ty anon !!! i hope u like this :3

warnings: (in second half of post) pregnancy kink? breeding / creampie kink ofc, consensual somnophilia, praise, pet names

i. sfw headcanons

nanami is so sweet when he first proposes to you! ofc you have sex on the daily or weekly but when he’s reading his speech to you when he’s kneeling down it’s so sweet that you cry

and this dude wonders why you’re tearing up when his words literally mirror a poet’s LMFAO

nanami proposes at a quiet place only the two of you frequent, to avoid unwanted attention like crowds (he’s just thinking about gojo and how annoying he would be)

but also because he just wants it to be as special as he can make it out to be

honestly, if the whole kuantan thing works out he would love to propose there while the waves and horizon set the scene naturally. like he already knew he wanted to retire from being a jujutsu sorcerer here but he just melts when you’re here too. everything wrapped up in one, and the tear-filled “yes!!!” makes him jump and warms his heart

has a dinner laid out for you and everything and if the beach is deserted he wouldn’t mind having u right there LOL hes quiet but freaky just sayin’ !!!

when you walk down the aisle he cries. really

and is now obsessed with how he can call you ”his wife” as opposed to “his girl” 

okay but now on to the domesticity. the dynamics are almost the same: he isn’t against you heading out to earn your own money, and he’s more than happy to be a stay-at-home husband if you want him to, but seeing you in your cute apron has him already thinking of family and how you would bounce the baby on your arm as you prepare dinner

nanami is more doting when he’s your husband, not that he wasn’t before, but he thinks it’s the old age when he sees your leg cramp and he massages it or when you squint at your book so he turns up your lamp to a higher setting

also likes to flaunt off his wedding ring, albeit with flushed cheeks. he does it when he drinks tea, sliding gojo his paper work, polishing his weapon and it’s silent, laidback bragging and only gets annoyed when gojo asks about it

if anyone else does it he’s happy to talk about you lol

is a lot more slack when it comes to his salary and treating you to things, saying things like “oh, it’s okay, my pretty wife deserves this”

nanami does his part of the housework now that you’re permanently living together and pulls his weight — buying cleaning supplies, folding the laundry, buying food for the dog

he doesn’t care much about gender roles and is willing to show you that a good husband shouldn’t just be a milestone to complete and then immediately refuses to participate in household work

deadbeat husbands = boooooo

for now you’re still busy as jujutsu sorcerers, but after a year or two of being married he’s trying to convince you to take less missions, partially because he’s afraid of curses taking advantage of your relationship (not that they didnt before, but now they have a leverage against you) and marriage to hold either of you hostage

but the main reason for the persuasion is because he wanted a kid. and you step back in shock because nanami kento? wanting a kid? it seemed so out of character for him but considering how much he liked to come in you… was already pretty telling

like he loved the dog but also wanted like. biological kids. it was wild, he knows, even when you tell gojo (he’s still a little mad that you did, but it was an accident), even the six-eyes user was pretty surprised.

when the kid comes he’s just. crying again. he really loves you so much, and the fact that you carried a baby for nine months and was in pain for 12 hours and then pushed a whole ass baby out ur vagina? goddamn

you two name her nanami kumiko and he holds her like she’s the only one in the world (besides you), cooing gently as how the baby seem to snuggle into his warmth

he gives her a danish name too: ida, but he’s not sure if he should include it in the birth certificate, so he didn’t

he is very protective of his girl, especially how you techniques seemed to be passed down and how the jujutsu society might be seeking out your offspring in kuantan, but he makes sure no one comes close to the two of you, even asking gojo reluctantly to monitor any news of the higher-ups looking to ruin her childhood

nanami really thinks it’s age now, because he find it so hard to say no to your baby girl whenever she asks for something — whether non-verbal or verbal

is a calm dad, usually burping the baby after you feed her, changing her diapers, etc., even suggesting bonding by holding her close with skin-to-skin contact and you're surprised he even knows about that

you give in when you see that he does it anyway, rocking the baby softly on the balcony with his top off, already knowing she’s going to be a daddy’s girl when she grows up

spoils his daughter but still disciplines her when it’s necessary, but he reverts to gentle parenting when he needs to. learns how to tie hair because of her, teaches her about manners and consent and tells her he has no problem if she decides to punch a guy one day. she’s just confused lol, why would i need to do that, dad?

bless him, she got your kind disposition, but yeah he emphasises that she should stand up for herself if needed

during pregnancy, he’s also making sure you never lift a finger, running across the house to complete errands, going out to buy your cravings and regulating your diet. it’s pretty cute but nanami is sometimes really strict about what you eat because he doesn’t want your health to decline lol

“just one cup of coffee… please?”

nanami only grunts in disapproval, hoping a peck to your forehead can wake you up, ”no.”

okay but that’s a lot, i have a lot of Thoughts

now…. 

ii. nsfw headcanons

building on that hc earlier abt going from calling you ”his girl” to ”his wife”, he uses it so much in the bedroom you’d think it was a fetish

and you kinda understand it, there’s the jump of your heart when he introduces you as “his wife” compared to a mere girlfriend

honest to god, coming home that day and seeing you cook wasn’t the first time he’s thought of having a kid. it’s happened many times before, seeing you interact with the first-years, guiding a first-grader home after a mission

and sure he’s done it before, but you’re always on the pill and he has really really thought of getting a vasectomy, but then he thinks of how cute you’d look with a round belly, carrying his baby and that glow that he knows he’s the reason for

so the day he proposes to you, he fucks you like an animal, cumming deep in you with choked groans and fills you up.

wedding night? same thing

but what really got him going was after he told you about wanting a kid, and you begging with those eyes of yours is what drove that string to snap. “i w-want you— shit— to fuck a baby into me, kento!” 

wheew and he goes insane. nanami loves it when you beg for his cum, legs locked around his body to get him to do it. you’re relentless too, spreading your folds for him as his cum seeps out slowly and soon he’s fucking his cum deep into you again, filling you up two, three, four times

and he doesn’t exactly care if that time doesn’t work because now he knows you aren’t taking contraception so he just does it regularly for good measure.

you aren’t complaining because you’ve never seen nanami so feral when he’s pushing his cum deep into you, whether it’s with his cock or with his fingers. that period before your pregnancy was so fulfilling that you wouldn’t mind pushing out another baby for your husband, if it meant getting railed by a man on a mission to make you a mommy

by god he fucks you on every surface of the house

when you’re pregnant too, you can’t help but get wet bc of your hormones and sometimes comes home from work, tired and needing some relief

he finds relief between your legs when you’re sleeping, talking about how nice it was to get used while sleeping, but you didn’t expect nanami to utilise it while you’re pregnant. you wince and groan as you sit up, but you need to see your husband lapping at your cunt immediately, moaning into your core like a starved man

but ofc nanami is a lot gentler when you’re pregnant. he offers to do the work, thrusts gentler and less impactful, but he still feels so good

a few years after marriage, sex is still an ongoing thing, but it’s converted more into love-making and lazy intercourse because you weren’t exactly young. sure you both would go crazy a few times a week but it was difficult with a maturing kid in the room next to yours.

you both would also take the time to discover other kinks!!! always busy, it was a difficult thing to do, but in between taking care of kumiko and handling lighter missions, you’d find new ways to continue keeping your love and sex life exciting

nanami liked going slow with you too though whispering into your ears endless praises of how you were doing do well, settling into missionary so he could see how his thrusts still had the same effect it did on you years ago

“doing so well, sweetheart. that’s it… my pretty wife’s such a good girl f’r me.” 

nanami wasn’t against a second child, but sometimes he sees how much you go through in labour and in pregnancy that he becomes lightheaded with what could happen to you, especially with the unexpected illnesses that come with pregnancies. he told himself he would only grant you another if you ask for it

but then one day when kumiko prances up to you in the midst of her math homework, asking when she would get a little sibling and youre taken aback while nanami just chokes on his tea

yeah, sure, you taught her sex education way before her peers and how babies are made but you didn’t expect to actually ask the two of you straight up about having a sister or brother

that night, you mulled over the decision, and nanami mumbles into your neck from the back, ”don’t worry about kumiko, baby. she’ll probably forget it sooner or later.”

“but what if i want to give her one though?” you mumble, your smaller hand guiding his lower and lower…

“do you want to?” nanami only can suck in a breath when he feels your throbbing cunt, your nimble fingers showing his how you liked your clit to be rubbed. even if he knows you inside out he still lets you do it, “i do… do you, kento?”

his first name is whispered, breaking the tension and nanami has to hold himself back from handling you too roughly, loving the way you grin languidly.

oh, here comes round 2!

omg headcanons are so fun lol i never wrote 1k words so fast since they’re informal and chill

[janananarei]

His Favorite Artist

Blind Gojo x Reader

≿━━༺❀༻━━≾ ༻✧༺ ≿━━༺❀༻━━≾

Genre: Fluff

CW: SFW, Fem! Reader

Note: Yayy, my second work! It's not as long as the first one, but I really just wanted to write fluff. Feel free to send any requests since I have no idea what to write next.

≿━━༺❀༻━━≾ ༻✧༺ ≿━━༺❀༻━━≾

Warm sunlight hits Satoru's skin as he navigates his way to the stairway. He had won his battle with Sukuna at the cost of his vision, he had to retire after and learn to live not being able to see anything. Luckily for him, his wife was there with him to help adjust to his new life. Living at the countryside, not needing to worry about any curses or curse users, and finally having the life he had always wanted.

Once he touched the familiar railings of the stairs, he slowly steps one foot down and follows the other. He takes his time, almost reaching the last step when suddenly his foot got stuck making him lose balance. A loud thud was heard, and you quickly stop whatever you were doing to check it out. There at the bottom of the stairs lays a groaning Satoru as he rubs his head.

"Satoru! Are you okay? Why didn't you call me?" You ask as you kneel beside him and check his head for any bruise. "Sorry, I thought you were busy and I didn't wanna disturb you." Satoru feels your soft hands grab his arm and pull him up, securing them around your shoulder. "Can we go outside? I've been cramped all day in our bedroom."

"Of course sweetheart. I've also baked a fresh batch of cookies that I'm sure you'd love." You lead him to the door and open it. Satoru feels the fresh breeze hit his face and he sighs in satisfaction, feeling the warm sunlight once more. You lead him to sit in a chair, and grab one of your own. Satoru feels at peace, only hearing the soft swaying of the trees and grass, no growling and groaning from curses to be heard. His arms only feeling the warm sun and the light breeze, clean from the blood of curses. And his eyes, not overwhelmed by information and cursed energies. Although, he was quite disappointed not being able to enjoy the view with you, only being able to see a blank canvas. He still feels the grief of losing his sight and not ever being able to enjoy seeing the world, looking at how grown his students are now, and appreciating your beauty. There is still a feeling of uselessness in his mind as he is no longer able to perform his duties and uphold the title of being the strongest.

"Satoru, do you want me to describe what we're looking at right now?" He feels your soft hands hold his and he smiles. "Of course darling, paint the world for me." He squeezes your hand.

"We're surrounded with trees and flowers of all sorts, giving color to the land. The sun is setting over a lake, painting the sky a beautiful orange hue, while the water reflects the beauty of the sun. In the distance, there is a flock of ducks resting by the shore. Our home is just right beside us, with a bird's nest lying on the roof. Everything is peaceful and quiet." As you further explain the scenery, Satoru imagines the world that you describe it to be. And he now remembers that so long as you are with him, his canvas would never be blank and devoid of life.

You feel him squeeze your hand, so you stop and look at him. You can see the wonder and softness in his eyes, as he continues to stare at the sunset. "What would I ever do without you." He spoke softly.

You smile and lean your head onto his shoulder. Silence taking over the atmosphere, as you both bask in the sunlight. At that moment, Satoru thinks that the world is beautiful.

[daman19942]

TSR CC Recommendations: TS2 Lot Builders

Nobody asked for this but I have a little time on my hands and I said I might do it, so here is a list of some TSR lot builders who I recommend checking out. A few notes under the cut before we get started (all details under the cut, as well, in case you aren't interested in my preamble):

This is not meant to be paid promotion for TSR. I believe TSR asking users to pay for their CC is ridiculous, especially for a 19 year old game they haven't supported in 7 years. But I spent many years uploading there during the peak-TS2 / pre-TS3 era and know there is great CC in their archives that newer players may not know about. And unlike TheSims2.com, which has sadly shuffled off this mortal coil, TSR's content is still available to freely download (assuming you can stomach the pop-ups and wait times)

This post will only be about lot builders because that was what I was primarily uploading and downloading in this era. I was friendly with some of the creators I am about to list, but none of them are still active members of the TS2 community.

The preview pics might be a little rough and the architecture styles will likely feel very dated compared to the most popular styles these days, which are more colorful, cluttered, and use 3t2 and 4t2 conversions. Re: the previews: too many of us were using free trials of PaintShopPro back then, and TSR limited us to 2 previews, so we did our best. Re: the styles: unlike pre-2010's CAS CC, which was full of hand painted and "realistic" textures (LOL), these are the same objects you can find in the game today, just being used in different ways! Sometimes for the first time! And, yes, while some of these creators used CC, it was mostly Homecrafter walls and floors, as you'll see below.

This was also the hey-day of CFE lot building, which has certainly fallen out of favor to more traditional builds (in part because graphics cards have improved and these types of builds don't look as good in 2024, and also because the great CFE experimenters, builders, and tutorial writers are no longer part of the community and their original discoveries are gone as well - I am happy to go down a massive rabbit hole on this piece of TS2 history if anyone else cares, but trust me, you don't have to care).

Alright that is enough caveating, here are some recs! (Links are in the creator's names and they take you to their Lots, though many of them have other creations, too).

Lord Tiko Speaking of great CFE builders! Lord Tiko built spaceships, boats, pagodas, domes, windmills and bridges, oh so many bridges before retiring mid-TS2 because of health issues. He was one of the first builders to take Daihtnaoz7's single and double bridge tutorials and apply them to really big lots. I'm still not sure how he built the Venice Rialto Bridge, or his other European water lots. Overall, a massive inspiration to me when I was prioritizing CFE builds.

Hatshepsut My favorite "traditional" home builder, and someone I considered a friend. She specialized in English and American builds, and I had many of Hat's houses in my old saves and was impressed by her range and decorating style which was (for the time) more varied than many of her peers. Knew how to take great preview pics of her houses, too.

Tigerblue Another builder I corresponded with, Tigerblue was probably the least prolific uploader on this list for sheer number of uploads, but she also crossed a range of styles. Her builds leaned way into specific styles (see the previews, these were all part of consistent sets of 3,4, or even 10 lots), but this was also what happened when a new EP dropped and everyone raced to uploaded builds using as many of the new objects and styles as possible. Tigerblue just happened to be better at it than most of us.

Cyclonesue Do current TS2 players know Cyclonesue? Because it's hard to think of someone who had a bigger impact on building and decorating of the era, first with her English and Tudor builds and later with her extremely distinct grunge creations. Seriously, check out her Urban Renewal series and the corresponding objects. Iconic stuff that surely now feels frozen in time. I probably only played 20% of her lots that I downloaded, but they still make for great hood decor. Like Tiko, someone who happily experimented with CFE.

Illiana The creator who inspired me to make this list is, ironically, the one on it who I know the least about (she is a Featured Artist but not in the Hall of Fame, whatever that means). I just started playing her Tri-Annyas fraternity house and have a few other lots floating around my game. She built in a range of styles, from classical to modern to Twikki Island to grunge. Revisiting some of them in-game, the TSR previews do not do them justice.

*EXHALES* If you made it to this point, kudos to you. I'm sure there are creators I've forgotten, and houses I haven't linked to, but this is a good starting point for digging into some of the eclectic builds the TSR(chives) have to offer (I just coined that, is it clever? It is not). Maybe I'll do a Part 2 if people like this.

If you have any favorites of your own, let me know what I missed! And as I do with my old Exchange re-uploads, I am tagging @sims2packrat and @oldasscustomcontent for general TS2 history awareness!

[otaku553]

As it goes with every new brainrot I have, it’s time for Kirby crossover again :)

Kirby in one piece! With one piece’s strong focus on dreams and found family, I thought it would fit for Kirby to be a pirate that dreams of sailing to the stars and beyond. Not that this is very achievable by normal means, but we know that it’s at least possible with Eneru and the Skypiea arc :D

More notes in the read more!

Kirby has the devil fruit power of the copy-copy fruit! A paramecia activated by contact and only able to copy one fruit at a time. It can copy logias and paramecias with no problems, though actual ability using the fruit’s powers is up to Kirby to practice and figure out. Zoans can only be copied to partial transformations and cannot be awakened. Kirby doesn’t have much of a mind for haki but has a lot of latent conquerer’s haki that he doesn’t realize— it’s one of the reasons he’s able to make friends so effortlessly.

Meta Knight in this AU is a retired marine, between Captain and Rear Admiral level. He has a bat model zoan fruit that allows him to grow wings, and is a skilled swordsman. He’s retired from the marines but acts a his own separate party that is neither revolutionary, marine, nor pirate, keeping his own fleet known as the Meta-Knights. Their actions are similar to pirates despite not flying a Jolly Roger. They claim territory to protect and occasionally fight other pirate crews, and they claim no allegiance to the world government. They simply go where they are needed. Meta Knight will sometimes sail with Kirby on his small ship, the Popstar, just to keep Kirby out of trouble and make sure the ship is well stocked and well-maintained and able to be seaworthy.

Dedede is the king to one of the small countries that isn’t represented at the Reverie. That means he has a lot more freedom to do his own thing, including setting sail while taking a crew of Dees with him and leaving the country in the hands of some administrative Dees. Dedede splits his time between exploring and sailing and returning home to run his country, with the help of his trusty second in command, Bandanna Dee. Dedede has a penguin model Zoan fruit, and Bandanna doesn’t have any devil fruit but is proficient in coating their spear in haki. They’re the designated save-the-fruit-user-from-drowning person when they’re on deck.

Kirby’s crew changes because a lot of the people he recruits tend to have their own responsibilities. His crew is also full of people he’s beaten. It’s not uncommon for Kirby to sail alone, though he gets into more scrapes than usual with bad weather and rough waves. It can hardly be called a pirate crew, but Kirby has collected all the most heinous criminals under his banner and as such, the world government treats it as a threat.

[nonbinairyboi]

Summary: A day at the farmer’s market with Javi in Laredo.

Pairing: Javier Peña x gn!disabled!Reader (reader uses a walker)

Written for @cosmickid-inmotion Disability Visibility Event (I’m cutting it close, I know)

Dividers by me

A/N: Shoutout to @mandaloriankait for hyping me and reading this and to my sister for helping with the Spanish. I am always open to criticism of my Spanish so that I can improve. I use a walker as needed so this is based on my experience.

Word Count: ~1.9k

Tags/Warnings: Ableism. Fluff. Mobility Aid User.

Main Masterlist | Read on AO3

Farmer’s Market

The Texas sun warmed your back as soon as Javi helped you out of the car, your walker already set up in arms-reach.

Javier had always naturally moved around you and anticipated your needs without much direction, from the first time you were reintroduced by Chucho all those months ago now. You hadn’t expected it from what you remembered of him in high school. Not that he had been rude, if anything he had just seemed a little focused on his own life’s trajectory and a little self-centered in the way that most popular high school boys were.

While Javi was in Colombia, you had grown close to Chucho, having run into him in town one day while you were out shopping. Your parents were no longer here, and something about the slightly stressed and lonely look on his face had compelled you to drop by the ranch the next week. From there, it had morphed into an unspoken weekly dinner that neither of you ever missed except for the last time Javier had been home briefly.

When Javier came home for good, looking worn down and disillusioned, he had shocked you by joining your shared meals.

When you had arrived on that Thursday, you had been surprised to see Javi sitting on the front steps, wafts of smoke surrounding his head.

“I hear that I have you to thank for Chucho not wasting away these last years.” He had said as he stood up and met you at your car, grabbing the pot from your passenger seat without being asked.

You felt your face heat as you shrugged. “He’s overstating my contribution.”

He placed the pot on the porch before turning back to you.

“¿Puedo?” May I? He asked, indicating your walker. You smiled lightly and nodded.

Placing it at the top of the stairs, he surprised you by turning back towards you, offering an arm to help you up the stairs.

“Muchas gracias.” Thank you very much. You replied as you took his arm in one hand and the railing in the other.

He didn’t rush you as you went up the few steps of the porch, stopping naturally on each step. Javi pointed out the updates to the ranch that he was planning on helping Chucho with now that he was home, gently filling the silence.

Dinner was a simple affair as you had made the pozole earlier in the day and just needed to heat it up and serve it. They both complimented your cooking, which you waved off immediately. Chucho spent most of the dinner updating you on his week, cutting Javier off almost every time he tried to chime in, making you cover more than a few laughs as coughs.

After Chucho had retired to watch his telenovelas, you had settled on the porch with Javi, talking about everything and nothing for what felt like hours. A familiarity had grown between you; easy, but with an undertone that made your stomach flip whenever your eyes met.

A few days later you had run into each other in Laredo while you were both running errands and he offered to take you to lunch.

Things had evolved organically from there. Before you knew it, dinners became a more frequent affair at the Peña’s. Chucho never questioned it, but you saw the small smile he tried to hide when Javi started to scoot his chair closer to you.

When Chucho suggested the two of you should run to the farmer’s market today, you were excited. The weather was hot, but a gentle breeze made it more than bearable.

Javi had snuck kisses at every stop sign on the way, making you laugh.

Your pain had been mostly controllable lately, but you knew you would need to pace yourself today. The vibrant colors of the produce caught your eye as you made frequent stops.

Your walker already held handfuls of jalapeños, radishes, tomatoes, onions, garlic, and a bag of fresh corn as you made your way toward the Ortiz’s fruit stand. Starting to feel the weight of the day, you leaned more heavily on your walker.

The square was packed today; the weather perfect for the market. People in the square moved slowly, stopping easily at most stands before casually moving on. As you walked, you felt the people behind you get closer, a huff of annoyance reaching your ears when the flow of people slowed again momentarily. Suddenly, you felt them brush by you, bumping you slightly as they did. When they stepped in front of you, they forced you to go slower so as not to hit them. You felt Javi tense beside you and you reached out to grab his arm to calm him. It didn’t matter how many times you told him that this was normal. He always got upset.

Greeting Señora Ortiz with a bright smile, you picked out some fruit for yourself and Javi and threw in some extras for Chucho. He always had a sweet tooth. Javi had whispered that he would be right back as you considered the watermelons before you and you waved him off distractedly.

Señora Ortiz made small talk with you as you picked your favorites, her youngest, Gabriela, taking care of the customers around you. As you reached for some of her famous grapefruits, someone knocked carelessly into the side of your walker, which pushed you sideways a few steps. A twinge of pain shot down your leg and you grasped the walker for stability. The man who had accidentally pushed you said nothing in acknowledgement of what he had done, simply reaching over and picking up the same grapefruit you had been going for before turning to Gabriela to pay. You saw a storm brewing in Señora Ortiz’s face and you quickly finished picking what you needed and paid her, reassuring her that you were fine.

Javier appeared beside you a moment later, one hand not-so-discreetly behind his back. He smiled when he met your eyes, but frowned a little at the slight strain in yours.

Pulling his hand from behind his back, he revealed a bouquet of bright flowers. The tightness left your smile at the gesture. Leaning in, you kissed him lightly and took the flowers, murmuring a thank you as you set them on your walker.

“¿Vamos a casa?” Ready to go home? He asked.

You nodded enthusiastically, ready to sit down and rest.

As you made your way towards the edge of the square, a few more people cut in front of you, forcing you to stop again. The fatigue and pain were catching up with you, the breeze no longer strong enough to relieve the intensity of the sun, making your movements more sluggish.

You caught the stares from the people moving in the opposite direction; the quick glances from your walker to your face and then to Javi.

Focusing on moving, you kept your gaze straight ahead so you wouldn’t catch any judgy or pitying looks. A group of four suddenly brushed past and cut in front of you again, but were forced to slow because of the people in front of you immediately. You didn’t have time to stop the walker and you accidentally hit the back of their legs, jolting yourself as well as them.

The tallest of them whipped around, an enraged expression on his face.

“I’m sorry!” You exclaimed quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t have time to stop when you came in front of me.”

“Yeah fucking right.” He spit back at you.

Before you could process what was happening, Javier stepped in front of you.

“You cut us off, of course the walker fucking hit you!” He gritted out.

“Your friend here was going too slow.” The man shot back.

“The whole path is going slow if you didn’t fucking notice.”

The latest jolt to your walker had made your pain spike and you were starting to feel lightheaded from the heat. You focused on your breathing as the man bit back.

“Well not everyone is as slow as your friend here.” He laughed before continuing. “Looks like they should just stay home. Or maybe you should call hospice.

Javier’s arms shot out and pushed him, sending him reeling as they both spewed curses at one another. One of the man’s other friends caught him.

“Hey!” The friend yelled. “Peña. I’m sorry. He was out of line and rude. It won’t happen again. We’ll let you get home.”

The first man had fallen silent upon hearing Javi’s last name. Sometimes you forgot the weight it carried now.

“Javi, vamos.” Let’s go, Javi. You said quickly, desperate to get to the car. That seemed to snap him back to reality, turning to you quickly, catching the exhaustion in your expression before quickly nodding at the man who had broken it up and turning back to you.

The rest of the walk to the car was quick as most of the people around you had stopped to stare at the altercation and quickly moved out of your way as you approached with Javi, not wanting to be the next focus of his rage.

He helped you into your seat silently, unloading the flowers and food before folding your walker and loading it up as well.

The first few minutes of the drive were quiet save for the rumble of the engine.

“I’m sorry.” He said after a few minutes.

“It’s ok.” You reassured him. “You were looking out for me. I guess I’ve just learned to deal with it.”

“You shouldn’t have to!” He said, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“I know.” You replied before pausing again. “It means a lot. That you care. I’m so used to just pushing through on my own.”

Your gaze flickered to the window, suddenly feeling vulnerable in a way that you weren’t prepared for.

Javier breathed in and out deeply before unexpectedly pulling onto the side of the road, the crunch of the dirt filling your ears. He shifted the car into park before removing his seatbelt and turning to you.

“I do care.” He said quietly, his thumbs tracing the back of your hands.

His head slowly raised to yours.

“Te amo.” I love you.

Your breath caught in your throat as you fought to keep your lip from wobbling.

He’d never said it that plainly.

He meant it. You could see it in the openness on his face, as if he was prepared for you to cut him open .

A hesitant smile spread across your face.

“Te amo, Javi.” You replied.

His eyes searched yours for a beat before his own smile split across his face. He cradled your face, immediately bringing you in for a slow yet desperate kiss.

Your hands flew to him, pulling him closer. Grins split across your faces again as you kissed, making you break apart as your foreheads leaned against each other.

“Vamos a casa. Papá estará esperando.” Let’s go home. Papá will be waiting. Javier said.

You chuckled at that, kissing him once before sitting back in your seat.

Your life had changed a lot in the last few months, but for one of the first times in your life, it felt like the change was a fully positive one.

You still needed help getting around, but now, you had someone who stepped in whenever you wavered. Someone to catch you.

[alotofpockets]

Match point | Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Where The Avengers and some famous tennis players meet to play doubles for a charity event.

Written with @catasha | Marvel masterlist | Words: 2.9k

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It had been months in the making but the time had finally arrived. Tony had been planning a charity event with some retired tennis players to raise money for an organisation who stands for helping children from all backgrounds to be able to play sports. Once Tony had reached out and set-up the basics, he handed over planning to Steve, who had a better eye for that part of the process.

While most of The Avengers had been busy with other things in life besides learning sports like tennis, they were all eager to join the cause, and learn something new over the next couple of days. 

The Avengers made their way over to the tennis courts, where they would first be introduced with the players. Natasha was slightly nervous, not to meet the players, but to play a sport she has never played before and that in front of professionals. Nonetheless she put a smile on her face, and was looking forward to today. 

Amélie Mauresmo, the player who Tony organised the charity event with, gathered everyone around. “Alright everyone, thank you all for joining us today. I hope you are all ready to have some fun along the way. Steve over to you.” Steve gets his clipboard out and moves towards Amélie. “Alright, I’ve matched up a player and an Avenger to create the doubles teams. You will be training individually with your partners over the next couple of days, leading up to the big event. Now, once I’ve listed your name, please find your partner and get acquainted. We will call you up when you can head to the equipment room to get everything you need sorted.” He looks down at his clipboard to read off the pairs. Once your name is announced along with Natasha’s, you send her a small wave before heading her way.

You get to know Natasha a little bit before she gets called to the equipment room. The equipment manager helps Natasha on her way with the right racket for her, letting her know the differences between the rackets. Natasha, who didn’t know a lot about tennis and therefore also not about rackets, listened carefully to the equipment manager. He advised her three different rackets, and it was to no surprise to anyone that she picked the red one. 

You see Natasha walking back towards you with a red Wilson racket, and know instantly that as an avid Babolat user you were going to have to make a joke about her choice of rackets. Putting your best shocked face on, you exclaim “I don’t think I can play with someone that chose a Wilson over a Babolat.” However, since you had only just met, Natasha was convinced that you were being serious. “Oh, I can switch it to a Babolat if that’s better.” You realise that she doesn’t know you’re joking and are quick to reassure her, “I'm just messing with you, you should play with whatever feels best for you. And if I may, red suits you pretty well.” Seeing you joke around, she relaxed a bit so she got along, “Let’s say the compliment made up for messing with me then.” You both share a quick laugh and a casual talk while heading over to the tennis courts. 

“So, it’s quite simple, I have one week to make you the best teammate possible! Everyday we’ll do physical training, even if as an Avenger you probably don’t need it, it’s still quite important to have the right footwork on a tennis court. Then I’ll teach you the basic shots and that’s it, you’ll be the best!” Your enthusiasm works its magic in Natasha letting loose about all the worries about the event. “Well, I’m ready when you are Coach, let’s do this!”

You both start running around the court for a few rounds, while you introduce some split and crossover steps. “Alright, one important thing, if not the most important while playing tennis, is how you run on the court. You’ll have to use different steps depending on where you want to go on the court.” You point in the directions, while explaining the techniques to Natasha, “To go forward, a normal sprint. On the sides, split steps like we did before and to go backwards, well just run backwards!” You both laugh at the simpleness of the last technique. “The most important thing is to always keep your eyes on the ball. So, I propose a little exercise. We’ll both start at the centre, run to the side, and then sprint to the net.” She nods at your explanations and you both make your way to the baseline of the court. 

“It’s okay if you can’t keep up with the pace, I’ll start easy” You wink at her and she laughs. “Very sweet but you don’t need to worry about me, Y/l/n.” Her comment instantly told you that she was just as competitive as you were. You started the first rounds slowly, giving Natasha time to get used to the footwork. After a few rounds you notice she had increased her pace, because she was soon ahead of you by a few metres. “You alright, Y/n? Struggling to keep up with an Avenger?” Her comment made you snap out of your ‘go easy’ tactics, and soon you were sprinting to catch up with her. She didn’t make it easy on you and before you knew it, you were both running at full speed, not wanting to let the other win. 

After a few more rounds, you end up out of breath from the sprinting and laughing, which definitely did not work well together. “Okay okay, I’m out… You win Natasha.” She comes back to you laughing, as if she didn’t spend the last minutes sprinting “You’re sweet, thinking you stood a chance against me.” A smirk plays on your lips, Natasha thought this was it, but you knew what was still to come and she would definitely feel less like the winner after the next point of practice. You go to grab your rackets from the sidelines, and hand Natasha hers. “Alright then, let’s get to the real business. Show me what you got Romanoff.”

Over the next few days you spend a lot of time on the court together. You practised serving, volleying, and a lot of other techniques that would be helpful in your matches later this week.

You were happy that you agreed to the charity event, because you never would have thought that you would have so much fun during it. Natasha was as enthusiastic as you were and it showed. Her skills were improving everyday, and she was actually getting quite good at it. After a few more practice sessions you were ready for the tournament.

The first couple of matches didn’t go as bad as Natasha had originally thought, as they were winning time and time again. It wasn’t that the matches were easy to win though, they really had to fight for every win, which in the end only brought Natasha and Y/n closer together. The charity matches had been livestreamed so far, and a lot of money had been raised for the cause already. Winning all their previous matches meant that they ended up earning a spot in the final, where they would play against Tony Stark and Amélie Mauresmo, which was bound to be an interesting match. It would also be the first match in front of an actual crowd, and you better believe that the whole stadium was sold out.

Natasha takes in the crowd as they walk onto the court, and realises just how many people had come to see them play tennis. You nudge her shoulder when you see her take in the crowd, “Nervous?” She turns to you, a shy smile on her face “How could I not be” Bringing your hand on her shoulder you’re quick to reassure her “You have trained well this week and I must say you impressed me. Let’s show these people what you’ve been working on, alright?” Natasha locks her eyes in yours. You can see a twitch in her eyes, going from nervousness to excitement. “Yeah, let’s crush Tony’s ego, since he’s been saying he’s going to win this tournament from day one.”

Every minute of the match had been intense. Both teams are playing really well and neither one of them seems to be willing to give up even one point. First set, 6-6 to the counter, set point for Y/n and Natasha. It’s your turn to serve against Tony so you decided to show off a little bit. You added a little extra power to your ball, which ended in glueing Tony on the spot. The crowd cheered for you, as well as Natasha who handshaked you and flashed you a flirty smile “Damn Y/n, that’s one strong arm” Seeing you slightly blushing she started laughing “Come on, we still need to win that final set”. You were really happy with how the rest of the match was going. Natasha was impressing you a lot with how well she was playing and how determined she was. And without even having time to notice, you were 2 points away from the victory. You shared an eye contact with Natasha, both realising that it’s your chance to win the tournament. You smiled at each other before focussing on your opponent’s serve. Point won. Match point now. Your turn to return Moresmo’s serve, Natasha is at the net. After a few exchanges between you and your fellow tennis player, Nat decided it was her time to shine. She sneakily intercepted the ball at the net with an almost flawless volley. Tony ran to catch the ball but was unable to hit it before the second rebound. It was like time stopped for Natasha who came back to her senses when she heard the referee scream her name and yours. She was fast to run to you and jump into your arms, “We did it Nat!” You congratulated her, squeezing her in your arms. 

The twinkle in her eyes after the win was enough to make your heart beat faster. It was inevitable that you would get close with the Avenger after spending so much time with her these past weeks, but nothing could have prepared you for the depth of the connection you felt with the woman. You were from completely different worlds, yet you clicked instantly and ended up having a lot in common. The way she jumped into your arms after the win kept playing in your mind as you did a round around the court, signing autographs and taking pictures with the people in the crowd. You catch Natasha looking at you from a few feet away, and smile her way before taking some more pictures with fans. 

Once you’re done with your round around the fans, you grab ahold of Natasha’s hand, and raise your intertwined hands up in the sky as the crowd cheers the both of you on. When you lower your hands, you don’t let go until you’re back inside. “So, how was winning your first tennis tournament?” Natasha was still beaming from the win, and spoke to you with a big smile on her face. “That was amazing! It was really hard, but we did it, and I’m so proud of us.” You returned her smile, “Yeah, we did pretty great.” 

You talk a bit more about the match while you head further into the building, towards the dressing rooms. “Here I wanted you to have my racket, to have something to remember the match by, since I know you’re going to have to hand in yours.” She takes the extended racket. “Are you sure it’s not just something to remember you by?” Her confident smirk makes its way onto her face. You look at her with just as much confidence, “Who said this had to end?” Before you could respond, Tony yelled out in the hallway, “Afterparty at the Compound, you don’t want to miss it!” Natasha looks back at you once Tony has left again, “Will I see you at the party tonight?” You nod, “If you’re coming, I will definitely be there.”

To nobody’s surprise, Tony didn’t hold back for the party. Champagne bottles were on every bar and table along with a dozen different appetisers. It’s the least to say that it wasn’t the kind of environment you were used to. You were scanning the room trying to find a familiar face and decided to join a group of your fellow tennis players. Before you could even walk in their direction, you heard the soft voice that now makes you smile automatically “Hi champion”. Without giving you time to answer, Natasha planted a soft kiss on your cheek. You don’t know what made you blush the most, the kiss or her stunning red high slit dress. “Wow Natasha.. you are beautiful” A little hint of pink on her cheeks betrayed her even though she tried to hide it. “You’re not so bad yourself Y/l/n. So, do you want a drink?” She grabbed your hand without waiting for your answer and made her way to the bar. 

The party was a success. After spending some time talking together, Natasha and you joined a group of Avengers. They shared various stories about some of their missions, how they all met, etc. You got to tell them how you became a professional tennis player as well. The conversation got interrupted by Tony screaming in a microphone. “Alright people, listen up! Firstly, I want to thank you all for participating in this charity event. We raised a huge amount of money and that couldn’t have happened without each and everyone of you. Now, I will ask you to make a lot of noise for our champions! Y/l/n and Romanoff come join me!” Natasha got up first, hyping you up on the way. She once again grabbed your hand and brought you to the stage next to Tony. He gave you each a huge bottle of some expensive champagne, on which you could read Natasha’s name and yours written on the label. “As much as it pains me to say this, you deserved the win. You make a pretty great team together” 

After saying a few words of gratitude, you both got down off the stage and you led Natasha somewhere a bit more quiet. “Wow, I really wasn’t expecting that much.” You laugh to let go of some of the stress. “Ah Tony can’t do small things. And if I must be honest, I deserve it. I mean with all the running you made me do, I think I deserve that bottle”. She playfully hits you on the shoulder, to which you gasp. “Oh so you think you deserve it more than me huh? From my side, training the Black Widow was not easy..” It was her time to gasp at your comment. “Pff I know you loved it.” She was right, you had spent a wonderful week with her. “I cannot deny that. Seriously Natasha, I had a lot of fun with you. I am very happy we won, but I am even happier that I got to meet you.” You were about to continue with your monologue but Natasha stopped you before you could. She grabbed your hands and got closer to you, to place a soft kiss on your lips. Pulling back, she smiled nervously at you “I hope that’s okay?” You grabbed her face with both hands and pulled her in for a more passionate kiss. “I’ll take that as a yes” You both laughed and you brought her in for a hug “Of course it is.”

You spend some more time in the quiet corner of the room together, relishing in the moment. When Natasha feels like it’s time to head back to the party she thinks of a way to see you again soon. “So, my racket at home feels kinda empty, like it’s missing an autograph from a certain tennis player. Do you know anyone who would be able to fix that?” With a smirk you point to the room where the party is. “Oh, I can get Moresmo to come over and sign it for you, if you want?” She laughed and attached herself to your arm while you were both making your way back to the party. “Not the certain tennis player I had in mind actually. All jokes aside, I was thinking that you could come to my place sometimes, dinner maybe?” You smiled back at her brightly, “As a date?” She nods her head. “Then yes, I would love to.”

As the night continued, filled with laughter, champaign, and music, you found yourself enjoying your time with Natasha and the old and new friends surrounding you. Each time that Natasha’s eyes would meet yours, your heart would skip a beat. You were grateful to all parties involved in getting the two of you together for this charity event, and could not wait what the future held for the two of you.

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[nanamineedstherapy]

Tactical Crocs & Emotional Warfare

F!Reader x Gojo Satoru x Nanami Kento

Previous Oneshot Chapter [Tumblr/Ao3] | Main Series [Tumblr/Ao3]

A/N: When your security team costs more than a small country's GDP but the real threat is a raccoon with a Hermès addiction. Enjoy this slice of domestic terrorism (ft. Gojo’s tactical Crocs). No spoilers, but someone does get scolded via Chopin.

Int. Private Security Room—Night—14 Hours To Cameras Up

The koi pond feed flickers. A baby sock drifts across the surface. Nobody flinches.

Half the screens are silent surveillance footage: nursery, koi pond vault, her lower office, the terrarium room that used to be a guest bath. Takahashi (the raccoon, not the CFO) sleeps curled on a miniature futon in a separate window—one paw flung over a satin pillow like royalty.

The red alert blinks in the upper left corner: VOGUE JAPAN CREW ARRIVES. TO BE HELD IN GREEN ROOM.

Nanami Kento doesn’t look up. His pen glides over a set of architectural schematics—his third revision in as many hours. He’s in matte black tactical Kevlar (no one knows why at this hour), sleeves rolled to the forearms, sorcery glasses glinting under sterile lighting. There’s a faint ink smudge on his wrist. He’s furious about it.

Gojo Satoru sits across from him in a Hello Kitty hoodie and tactical Crocs, chewing lychee Pocky like he’s running hostage negotiations out of a Daiso. His wayfarers reflect the screen showing his stolen blindfold around Takahashi’s neck like he’s cosplaying “Bandit” in his sleep. The six-eyes wielder looks like the kind of genius whose brain can calculate missile trajectory mid-nap but will forget to refrigerate breast milk.

Around them, the highest-paid security personnel on the Pacific Rim. A blend of private military, cyberwarfare analysts, and cursed-artifact consultants. Some sip espresso from tactical thermoses. Others pretend they’re not being paid eight figures plus to protect a non-sorcerer pregnant woman, two war criminals, and a possibly sentient raccoon.

The Executive Protection Team (Core Security) had primarily been assembled by Megumi, and they relocated with you to Japan after your marriage, remaining fiercely loyal but now having an equal number of Nanami and Gojo’s people, ex-Jujutsu Teachers (sorcerers).

Former JSDF Special Forces Operatives (1st Airborne Brigade or Special Operations Group)  (¥60M+ each).

Japan's equivalent to Navy SEALs/Delta Force, trained in high-risk protection.

Ex-Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) Security Police (SP) Officer. (¥50M+ each).

SP protects Japanese VIPs (e.g., PM, royals). Only available if retired early. Know all police protocols to avoid legal issues.

Cursed Energy Security Specialists Team (for Sorcerer-Level Threats).

Ex-Jujutsu Tech Professors (Non-Gojo Clan, Independent) (¥100M+ each).

Detects/neutralizes curses without relying on Jujutsu High. 

Limitation: Hard to find; must be lured with extreme pay.

Cursed Artifact Security Consultant (¥80M+ each).

Prevents cursed objects from entering the home (e.g., "gifts" from enemies).

Background: Former curse-user turned private sector.

Cyber/Electronic Warfare Team (For Tech CEO Threats).

Ex-Unit 8200 (Israeli Cyber Intel) + NSA Hacker (¥120M+ each).

Best in the world for preventing corporate espionage/blackmail.

Loophole: Hired as a "consultant" to avoid gov restrictions.

Japanese Cyber Defense Force Veteran (¥60M+ each).

Knows domestic cyber laws inside out.

Perk: Can legally bug your own home (with consent).

Logistics & Emergency Extraction Team.

Private Military Contractor (PMC) Pilot (Ex-USAF/JSDF) (¥70M+ each).

On standby with a private jet/helicopter for emergency medevac (pregnancy risks).

Loophole: Based in international waters (Okinawa) to bypass Japanese airspace laws.

Medical Security Specialist (Ex-SAS Medic) (¥50M+ each).

Trauma Care + can extract during a curse attack.

Perk: Licensed to carry restricted meds (e.g., sorcerer-grade painkillers).

Most of them report to her.

The wife.

CEO.

Third trimester.

Currently asleep, head tilted into Nanami’s neck like a sleepy heat-seeking missile, his other arm absently braced around her to stop her from falling off the ergonomic stool she refuses to replace.

A hushed voice cut through the tension. “She’s got a bounty on her.”

Nanami slammed a folder onto the table hard enough to rattle the coffee cups, his sleeves rolled up to expose forearms corded with muscle. “If we die, Protocol A-47 activates. She goes to the koi pond vault. No exceptions. Tranquilize her if necessary.”

The ex-fighter pilot—a woman with a scar bisecting her eyebrow—leaned back in her chair, flicking a toothpick between her teeth. “We have tranquilizers because she once roundhouse-kicked a logistics officer during a VR Mortal Kombat session. Broke his nose.”

Gojo licked sugar from his thumb and added, “Double-layer barrier on the nursery and Takahashi. If something happens to that raccoon, I’m flattening a country. I won’t say which. It’ll be a surprise.”

The NSA hacker, a twitchy man with dark circles under his eyes, flinched when the raccoon sneezed. “Why does the raccoon have his own panic room?”

Keji—sleek in his silk shirt, biceps straining the fabric as he crossed his arms—didn’t blink. “He has three. One is lined with titanium. One is wallpapered with Gojo-san’s baby photos. We do not enter it.”

Nanami’s pen paused mid-note, his gold wedding band glinting. “She’s not a combatant. She can’t defend herself against c-users.”

Gojo’s smirk vanished, his voice dropping to something darker. “And now, her bounty matches mine.”

The silence in the room was palpable, a live wire. Takahashi, curled in his heated pet bed, let out a tiny snore.

The SAS medic—a woman with a coiled braid and a grip that could crush tracheas—rubbed her temples. “We’re glorified nannies. Emotional support detail. Decoys.”

Nanami didn’t look up. “In case both of us die, Keji initiates the escape route. She doesn’t know about it. She already has insomnia. And stop calling it Project: Dead Dads.”

A former JSDF SOG operative, a wiry man who looked like he hadn’t slept in days, swallowed audibly. “Do we evacuate Takahashi?”

Gojo’s fingers stilled on his watermelon lollipop wrapper, the crinkle deafening. “What did I just say.”

Keji turned toward the security feeds, his profile sharp enough to draw blood. “He has a private jet. Smaller than Madame’s. Faster. I’m not authorized to speak why.”

Nanami’s glasses caught the light as he flipped a page. “There are four exit tunnels. One goes through a matcha café. Another leads under the koi pond, keyed to her retinal scan and Takahashi’s scent profile.”

The ex-jujutsu sorcerer—an older woman with ink-black nails and a lazy, lethal posture—stretched like a cat. “I taught metaphysics at Yale.”

Gojo’s grin returned, wider. “Now you guard a raccoon with a Hermès sponsorship and a platinum AmEx. Life’s a ride.”

An ex-MPD VIP guard, a hulking man with a baby face, muttered into his comms. “I used to run fintech. Now I sterilize breast pumps and sleep beneath a floating shikigami terrarium.”

Ignoring him, Nanami’s thumb brushed the edge of his wedding ring. “In an active threat, she and Takahashi go in the bunker. Keji, you emotionally stabilize her. Feed the raccoon his lavender sardine paste.”

Keji’s jaw tightened, leather gloves creaking. “It’s handmade. Infused with omega-3 and respect. I recite Edith Piaf while preparing it.”

Gojo twirled his sunglasses. “He even sings La Vie en Rose during thunderstorms.”

The lights flickered. No one moved.

Takahashi’s screech echoed down the hall—a sound like an opera-trained kettle being murdered.

Nanami didn’t react. “Seventy-five minutes. That’s all they’re allowed in the residence. Treat this as a red-tier civilian intrusion. Assume bugs, surveillance, and attempted breaches.”

Gojo licked his lollipop slowly. “And no touching the raccoon. She said she’ll cancel the shoot if they mess with his whiskers.”

Every head nodded. No one questioned it.

The upgraded chief logistics officer—a woman with a steel-gray bob and a sniper’s stillness—tapped her tablet. “We’ve staged all bathrooms, prepped diversionary designer fragrances, and disabled motion sensor lighting in the koi corridor. It made the raccoon look too... strategic.”

Keji, adjusting his gloves, coolly added, “Takahashi is sentient. And emotionally fragile.”

Nanami’s voice was sharp as a blade. “Staff wears navy. Press wears tags. Anyone untagged after the 42-minute mark: detain.”

The ex-Metropolitan Police officer, a woman built like a brick wall with a matching smirk, raised a brow. “If questioned?”

Gojo’s teeth flashed in a grin. “Blame jet lag. Or say they threatened the raccoon and his wildlife habitat.”

Another nod followed, deadly serious.

Nanami’s watch gleamed as he switched tabs. “Lighting rig pathways are pre-approved. No one enters the nursery, gaming room, or her lower office. Those are closed sets. If they insist—deny with polite aggression.”

Gojo pointed at the NSA tech, who shrank in his chair. “If they get pushy, hand them the fake NDA. The one with clause 14 about raccoon-based defamation lawsuits.”

The tech, a freckled kid who looked barely old enough to be here, stammered, “We scrubbed her images from the mob lynch incident off the internet. All reverse image searches redirect to a red fox in a Dior scarf.”

Keji’s mouth curled into a smirk. “We paid extra for that one. The fox is a union.”

The medical lead—a woman with biceps that could crack walnuts and a glare to match—slapped her protocol sheet down. “She’s on four prescriptions. None are to be mentioned. If she starts to spiral—”

Keji’s smile was all edges, his gloved fingers tapping once against his biceps. “I’ll realign her using the 'accidental' footage of Nanami-san cooking shirtless last week. It’s preloaded. Subtitled. And scored with Chopin.”

Nanami’s pen froze mid-air. “That wasn’t for anyone.”

Gojo, sprawled across two chairs, licked his lollipop with deliberate slowness. “It was for me. Obviously.”

An ex-JSDF pilot—a woman in her 50s with salt-and-pepper hair and a posture that screamed combat-ready—adjusted her earpiece. “Chopper’s on standby. Six-minute extraction from Okinawa. The vault opens in two. If she won’t move, the fetal monitor’s embedded in her gaming chair.”

Nanami's wedding band caught the light as he massaged his temple. “She won’t move. Not if they bring up Gojo’s hair again.”

Gojo’s sunglasses slid down as he jerked upright, voice dripping with offense. “My hair is real. Shut up.”

The cybersecurity lead asked, “Do we allow footage of the nursery?”

Nanami didn’t hesitate, his voice a steel door slamming shut. “No. The twins will not be monetized.”

Gojo twirled his sunglasses, his grin razor-thin. “Also, the wallpaper isn’t finished, and she’ll have a hormonal breakdown.”

The MPD veteran, a barrel-chested man with a voice like gravel, scratched his stubble. “What if they film the raccoon singing? The sound’s been... described as ‘emotional.’”

Keji turned to the camera, his smirk all quiet arrogance. “He sings behind silk. You hear him only if he allows it.”

Nanami’s finger traced the exit tunnel diagram, his glasses glinting like a warning. “Only Keji knows all exit codes. If she starts crying—”

Another SAS medic—a woman with a shaved head and a stare that could curdle milk—didn’t blink. “We sedate her and blame prenatal yoga. Like last time.”

The mood in the room remained tense.

Nanami’s knuckles went white around his folder. “We protect her. We protect the twins. You protect that damn raccoon like he’s the crown prince of France. If she stubs her toe and Vogue sees it—this entire household is done.”

Another NSA hacker, a young woman fixing her gloss, muttered under her breath. “She has three degrees, and one of them is in an unknown field. So I’m pretty sure she could crush this whole network if she wanted to.”

Keji leaned back, satisfaction rolling off him in waves. “She has. Twice.”

Gojo chewed the last of his lollipop. “Accidentally.”

The lights flickered—once.

“One lipstick smear on the marble. One wrong tote bag. One smug remark about ‘modern poly households’—I will end this.” Nanami’s final note was a scalpel to the throat, but his gaze softened as he glanced at his wife dozing on his shoulder, her cheek smooshed against the Kevlar vest.

Gojo rose, stretching with all his lazy grace, kissed Nanami's temple just to annoy him before scooping their wife into his arms like she still weighed nothing. Her sleepy “mmf?” earned a chuckle as he adjusted the hem of her shirt over her bump as she put her arms around him. “Smile for the cameras tomorrow, people,” he purred to the team, but his wedding ring-adorned finger brushed her knee—a silent you’re safe—as he carried her toward the bed, her breathing already muffled against his shoulder.

The private feed cut.

The koi pond glowed an eerie blue.

The single baby sock is still floating over it.

Video Title Card: The Pregnant CEO, The Two Husbands, and The Raccoon With Executive Privilege.

---

A/N: If you laughed, cried, or now fear Nanami’s spreadsheet skills, scream at me in the comments. (Gojo’s ego needs the validation. Takahashi demands tribute in lychee Pocky.)

Previous Oneshot Chapter [Tumblr/Ao3] | Main Series [Tumblr/Ao3]

Next Chapter Gojo Satoru’s Public Display of Wife Theft [Tumblr/Ao3]

All Works Masterlist

Beta - @blackrimmedrose

[rinchfest]

And that's a wrap for Rinchfest24. Our thanks to everyone who took part.

Day One – Fluff• Pining• "Always" • Dark• Domesticity

Counterconditioning (1/1), DuckisDuck, Teen and up, Chose Not to use Archive Warnings

Perspectives of Absence: Dark (1/5), Veldeia, Teen and up, No Archive Warnings Apply

Shared Home (1/1), talkingtothesky, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Always [Fanart], DraejonSoul, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Where Blood is Life (1/1), AbAbsurdo, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Day Two – Be Nice To John• Established Relationship• Road Trip • Food/Drinking/Cooking • Art

Food [Fanart], DraejonSoul, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Recreational (1/1) [Fanart + Fic], DuckisDuck, Teen and up, Chose Not to use Archive Warnings

Like a Dali Painting (1/1), AbAbsurdo, Teen and up, No Archive Warnings Apply

Day Three – Be Nice To Harold• Belly• "Beach Cabin in the Woods• "Five+1" • Pets/Animals • Music

Animals - Wolf & Finch [Fanart], DraejonSoul, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Accidental Avians (1/1) [Fanart + Fic], DuckisDuck, Teen and up, No Archive Warnings Apply

Ring Bear-er (1/1), talkingtothesky, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Perspectives of Absence - Scent (2/5), Veldeia, Teen and up, No Archive Warnings Apply

Day Four – Kids/Babies/Pregnancy• Hugs• Clothes • Setting/Genre Change AU• The Machine

Mechanical (1/1), talkingtothesky, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Surprise Delivery (1/1), DuckisDuck, Teen and up, No Archive Warnings Apply

You Are Not Alone [Fanart], DraejonSoul, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Perspectives of Absence - Routines (3/5), Veldeia, Teen and up, No Archive Warnings Apply

Deadly Nightshade (1/?), AbAbsurdo, Mature, Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Day Five – Bed Sharing• Wedding/Marriage• Crossover • Canon Divergence • Tropes

I Love You In Every Universe (1/1), DuckisDuck, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Day Six – Finch Whump • Reese Whump • NSFW/Kink • Retirement • Home

Perspectives of Absence - Found (4/5), Veldeia, Teen and up, No Archive Warnings Apply

Beautiful Mess (1/1), POI_Rinch_Lover, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply

After Hours [Fanart], DuckisDuck, Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply

The Quiet After (1/1), Anonymous, Mature, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Time for Death (8/8), blackchaps, Not Rated (possibly Mature), Chose Not to use Archive Warning

Day 5 & 6 [Fanart], DraejonSoul, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Day Seven (and a bit)– 30 Free-For-All/Catch-Up Day

Strange Bargain (1/1), Singalingaling, Teen and Up, Chose not to use Archive Warnings

Overdue Dinner Date (1/1), POI_Rinch_Lover, General, No Archive Warnings Apply

Mechanical [Fanart], DraejonSoul, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply

Time for Death (8/8), blackchaps, Not Rated (I’d suggest Teen and Up), Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Brave Comfort (1/1), POI_Rinch_Lover, Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply

the only cement (1/1), TheSkyAtMidnight, Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply [NB Locked to AO3 users]

[saivii]

I saw an AU where Nam-gyu was Byeong-gi and Deok-su’s son (courtesy of tumblr user hystericamnesia, go check out their stuff if you haven’t already) and that made me think of some headcanons related to just a Byeong-gi and Nam-gyu father-son AU:

• Obviously they have different personalities so that causes friction between them from the get-go but Byeong-gi feels guilty and regretful about it and can’t seem to communicate that to Nam-gyu

•When Nam-gyu is around high school age he starts falling in with a bad crowd and Byeong-gi gets worried. His worry presents itself in more of a stern way and Nam-gyu takes it as Byeong-gi attacking him personally rather than being concerned, so he snaps at Byeong-gi (much to the latter’s shock/confusion)

• Nam-gyu secretly looks up to Byeong-gi but won’t admit it once he gets older. He wants to be like his dad but he starts struggling in school and that discourages and frustrated him, and he beats himself up for it. Byeong-gi is also concerned about this, and Nam-gyu assumes that his dad doesn’t believe in him or think he can measure up to him (which isn’t how his dad feels at all).

• Byeong-gi gets frustrated because he doesn’t understand what’s going on through Nam-gyu’s head or why he’d engage in such risky behavior. If he tries explaining that to Nam-gyu, Nam-gyu thinks he’s lecturing him or that he thinks he’s better than him.

• They try to keep in touch with each other during adulthood but their conversations are usually tense. When Byeong-gi ends up in debt and losing his practice, Nam-gyu says something to the effect of “you think you’re so great but you’re no better than me” and remarks about how Byeong-gi accidentally killed once of his patients. Byeong-gi snaps at him because he feels a lot of guilt over that.

-That’s their last conversation before Byeong-gi ends up in the games. When he meets the salesman and sees the card, he sees an opportunity to prove himself to his son and set a good example. It’s also why he’s so determined to restart his practice instead of retiring if he wins the games. As he’s dying, his final thoughts are regrets that he couldn’t say goodbye to his son or make up with him after snapping at him.

• When Byeong-gi goes missing during the games, Nam-gyu assumes that his dad cut off contact with him and abandoned him because of what he said. He tries to ignore how much it hurts him, but it eats away at him to the point where his substance use issues get much worse and he goes further into debt. Two years later, he’s presented with the same opportunity that his dad was without even realizing it. His inferiority complex and abandonment issues have gotten so strong by that point that he never connects the dots and he never realizes that his dad never wanted to leave him.