#third wheeling

[kxsagi]

Hi I saw your request box open and I’m sure it’s full so feel free to ignore!

Can I request with Sae, Chigiri, and Nagi? So basically I have a huge dog that likes to sleep DIRECTLY next to me. Like he’ll let other people sleep on the bed too but he NEEDS to be right next to me. Can you write jow the boys would react to that?

NO PRESSURE IM SURE YOURE BUSY LOVE U QUEEN

“𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠”

a/n: THAT IS SO CUTE UGH I COULD NEVER WITH MY FEAR OF BIG DOGS AND ALLERGIES 😭💔

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE LOVE YOU TOO QUEEN

ft. itoshi sae, chigiri hyoma, nagi seishiro, kaiser michael, isagi yoichi, shidou ryusei, bachira meguru, itoshi rin

itoshi sae

sae already had a very specific vision for sleeping arrangements. he was gonna hold you. arm around your waist, leg over yours, maybe nuzzle your neck if he was feeling extra affectionate. 

instead, he’s lying on the edge of the bed with a great dane’s ass in his face. 

“why is your dog spooning you?” 

“he always does this, sae.” 

deadpan stare. “do you want me or the dog?” 

he’s not mad per se. but he is reevaluating his rank in your household. 

he tries to move the dog once. gently tugs on its collar like, let me just scoot you over a bit, buddy– 

nope. no budging. your dog stares at him with the authority of a thousand ancestors. 

sae just sighs and gives up. he sleeps like he’s in exile. sometimes he mumbles, “i’m the national treasure and i’m the one sleeping on the edge. insane.” 

but he’ll sneak in extra cuddles during the day to make up for it. and occasionally bribe your dog with expensive treats so he gets some space at night. 

eventually forms a bitter alliance with your dog. they both silently agree that you’re the most important one and tolerate each other for your sake. 

chigiri hyoma

the first time he comes over and sees your big-ass dog curled up on your bed like it pays rent, he just blinks. 

“he sleeps with us?” 

you nod and kiss his cheek. “only if he’s in the middle.” 

he’s internally like: oh. okay. cool. love this for me. 

chigiri adores animals. he really does. but when it’s midnight and he’s trying to pull you closer, and your dog growls just a tiny bit when he gets too close– 

he whispers dramatically: “your dog hates me.” 

you’re half-asleep like, “he just likes to be near me.” 

“so do i, babe.” 

eventually he starts sneaking in gymnastic-level maneuvers to at least hold your hand under the dog’s chin. 

sleeps with his head pressed to the pillow so close to you that you can feel his breath on your shoulder. like he’s trying to out-snuggle the dog. 

starts bringing your dog those fancy hip-and-joint treats, brushing its fur, taking it on runs just to earn brownie points. 

dog still chooses to lay between you two every night like a brick wall. 

chigiri accepts his fate but tells your dog every night: “i’m watching you.” 

nagi seishiro

he just wanted to nap with you. he didn’t sign up for being third-wheeled by a 120-pound fluff monster. 

“this bed’s not big enough for all of us, y’know.” 

lies down anyway. just lets your dog take over like a defeated man. 

one time he woke up to your dog laying on his legs while you were curled up next to it. “… am i furniture now?” 

doesn’t move though. just sighs and pulls the blanket up higher. if the dog lets him stay in bed, he considers it a win. 

occasionally whines like a child: “it’s too hot… can’t we train him to sleep on the floor?” 

“he’ll cry outside the door.” 

“ugh. guilt-tripping me like reo.” 

tries to out-lazy the dog. if the dog is snuggling with you, he’s gonna snuggle harder. full-body drape. you’re buried under nagi and the dog like a human sandwich. 

ends up loving the dog secretly though. takes pics of it sleeping on your lap. starts letting it nap on his chest during the day. 

tells reo: “i have a roommate now. he’s fluffy and possessive.” 

kaiser michael

this man thinks he’s the dog. 

seriously, when he finds out your giant creature of a dog has been laying claim to the spot right next to you, he scoffs like, “that’s my seat, fluffball.” 

the first night he tries to sleep over, he struts into your room, sees your dog already curled up on the bed next to you, and just freezes. 

“what is this, the boss level of cockblocking?” 

attempts a power move. 

flops onto the bed and lies directly on top of the dog. “move. daddy’s home.” 

your dog does not move. does not care. it just sighs. 

eventually, kaiser’s the one who rolls off and grumbles while spooning a pillow instead. 

he glares at your dog every night like they’re rivals in a romcom. “go ahead. enjoy it while it lasts. one day you’re gonna get tired and move, and i’ll be right there.” 

but during the day? oh he spoils that dog like crazy. buys him a designer collar, steak treats, luxury dog bed (that the dog never uses), even a little hoodie with “kaiser fanclub” embroidered on it. 

you catch him once whispering “you and i both love her, huh? let’s truce.” into the dog’s ear. he denies it. 

isagi yoichi

he was so excited to finally sleep over and cuddle you. brought his little overnight bag, brushed his teeth early, already picking out which arm he was gonna use to pull you close– 

and then he sees your enormous dog already hogging 80% of the bed. 

“uh… where am i supposed to go?” 

you gesture to the remaining sliver of mattress. “right there, if you don’t mind the edge.” 

bless his heart, he still tries. 

he lies down sideways, twisted like a croissant, arm half reaching over your dog just to hold your hand. 

every time the dog shifts, he flinches. 

“did he just growl? was that a growl?” 

you: “no, he’s just breathing.” 

“he breathes like a tank.” 

after a few nights, he gets used to it. even starts whispering “goodnight” to the dog. 

one time he found himself spooning the dog by accident in the middle of the night. he was like “well. this is my life now.” 

secretly proud when your dog lets him nap next to both of you. like it’s a test and he passed. 

shidou ryusei

“awww, your dog loves you more than i do. how cute.” 

immediately beefs with the dog. 

brings a tennis ball to the bedroom, throws it down the hall, and tries to trick your dog out of the bed so he can claim the spot. 

your dog doesn’t even budge. just stares at him. 

“damn. alright. i respect that.” 

ends up just plopping down on the other side of the bed like a chaotic little gremlin. spreads out like a starfish. 

if the dog kicks him in his sleep? he kicks back. lightly. lovingly. 

“c’mon, pup. let me spoon your mom.” 

probably tries to bribe your dog with bacon. ends up accidentally training him to bark at shidou on sight for treats. 

laughs about it like it’s the funniest thing ever. 

calls the dog his “furry rival” and “fluffy side chick,” but still gives it head pats. 

totally fakes a pout in the morning like “ugh, i didn’t get any cuddles last night. so unfair. i need compensation, babe.” 

bachira meguru

“OH MY GOSH LOOK AT HIMMM. LOOK AT HIS BIG FLOOFY FACE. AAAA.” 

absolutely obsessed with your dog. immediately drops to the floor and rolls around like he’s trying to become part of the pack. 

you leave the room for one second and come back to them doing zoomies around the house. 

he fully expects to sleep in a giant cuddle pile with both of you. 

when the dog wedges himself between you and bachira in bed, he just smiles like “cute!!!” 

lays one arm over the dog and uses the other to hold your hand. 

whispers to the dog like “we’re her boyfriends now. this is a throuple.” 

if your dog snores? bachira harmonizes. 

if your dog farts? “mood.” 

he even starts copying the dog’s expressions like he’s trying to become his best friend. 

sometimes you wake up and he’s got your dog on his chest like a weighted blanket, mumbling: “he loves me. i knew it.” 

itoshi rin

rin thought you were joking when you said your dog "has to sleep right next to me or he gets upset." 

he was like, "cool, me too” … and then he met the dog. 

rin lies down carefully, like he’s sneaking into enemy territory. the dog gives him a side-eye. rin gives it one right back. 

you fall asleep in like 10 minutes, cuddled up with your dog. but your boyfriend is wide awake. 

“what the hell is this mutt’s problem…” 

he doesn’t move a muscle all night. he is stone. frozen. clenched jaw. silently fuming. 

wakes up with a crick in his neck and a burning need to prove himself to your dog. 

eventually, your dog stops sleeping between you two… and just sleeps on top of rin’s legs. 

rin: “… fine.” 

never says he loves the dog out loud. but one time you walked in on him letting the dog rest its head in his lap while he scrolled through his phone and scratched behind its ears. 

he saw you, glared, and muttered “don’t say anything.” 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[nanamineedstherapy]

Crack Extended Cut: Third Wheeling Your Own Marriage

F!Pregnant Reader x Gojo Satoru x Nanami Kento

Previous Oneshot Chapter [Tumblr/Ao3] | Main Series [Tumblr/Ao3]

Group Chat: Dad Crimes 💀 (Anon)

Daddy: Did you know a fetus can taste what the mother eats?

Father Time: Yes.

Daddy: Did you know the placenta produces more estrogen in a day than a non-pregnant person in three years?

Father Time: Why are you like this?

Daddy: Because she’s glowing. 😏

Father Time: What are you implying?

Daddy: [Attachment: blurry pic of you asleep, hand on bump]

Father Time: Delete that.

Daddy: I refuse to be censored. Did you know pregnancy can cause increased vaginal lubrication?

Father Time: Stop.

Daddy: If someone were to—apply that information correctly—

Father Time: Satoru.

Daddy: It’s for science. 😏

Father Time: You're why science gets a bad name.

---

Daddy: Also, clitoral enlargement during pregnancy is a thing.

Father Time: No.

Daddy: Bet you're thinking about it now.

Father Time: Stop.

Daddy: But what if—

Father Time: You’re on thin ice.

Daddy: …I could feel it through the sheets.

Father Time: Neutering you is back on the table.

Daddy: 😳

Father Time: Pregnancy increases cervix sensitivity by 200%.

Daddy: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS.

Father Time: You started it.

Daddy: I was flirting. You’re citing sources.

---

Daddy: I think she got bigger.

Father Time: That’s generally how pregnancy works.

Daddy: No, like... I had a religious experience.

Father Time: You need a therapist.

Daddy: We already have one. She thinks you need a therapist.

Father Time: She's not wrong.

---

Father Time: She made that face again.

Daddy: The “I’m going to ruin you” face?

Father Time: Yes.

Daddy: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Father Time: You’re sick.

Daddy: You’re attracted.

Father Time: I didn’t say that.

Daddy: You didn’t deny it.

---

Father Time: She sighed in her sleep.

Daddy: Was it a sexy sigh?

Father Time: Why does that matter?

Daddy: Because I heard it through the wall and I haven't recovered.

Father Time: Get a grip.

Daddy: I have a grip. On nothing. Because I’m being respectful.

---

Daddy: I walked in. She was doing yoga.

Father Time: …and?

Daddy: Downward dog.

Father Time: You're pathetic.

Daddy: You weren’t even in the room and you’re sweating.

Father Time: [Seen 11:24 PM]

---

Daddy: She came out in your shirt.

Father Time: …Which shirt.

Daddy: The white one. No bra. Wet from the shower. It’s transparent when wet.

Father Time: Do not elaborate.

Daddy: I saw heaven and hell simultaneously.

---

Daddy: She said my name in her sleep.

Father Time: She said mine yesterday.

Daddy: …Do you think she has a favorite?

Father Time: If you ask her, you’ll die.

---

Father Time: Did you know the cervix produces natural anesthesia during labor?

Daddy: …Like numbing cream?

Father Time: Endorphins. It can override the pain entirely.

Daddy: So it’s like… euphoric pain?

Father Time: In rare cases, it leads to orgasm during childbirth.

Daddy: I’m calling the Vatican.

---

Father Time: Blood flow to the pelvis increases 30%.

Daddy: Kento.

Father Time: Heightened arousal. Pressure. Release.

Daddy: KENTO.

Father Time: I'm just explaining the biology.

Daddy: You're explaining my kink.

---

Father Time: Vaginal elasticity increases.

Daddy: Kento.

Father Time: Meaning the body is more capable of accommodating

Daddy: DO NOT FINISH THAT.

Father Time: You’re the one who started this.

Daddy: You're the one talking about accommodation like a hotel brochure.

---

Daddy: Status?

Father Time: Sleeping. [Attachment: peaceful pic of you curled on your side]

Daddy: She looks like she’s dreaming of stabbing us.

Father Time: Possibly. Still beautiful.

---

Daddy: She ate five burgers.

Father Time: Good. She needs the calories.

Daddy: She made eye contact during the last bite. It felt threatening.

Father Time: Sounds accurate.

---

Father Time: Her back hurts.

Daddy: So does mine.

Father Time: Not the same.

Daddy: Emotionally, it is.

Father Time: You're a clown.

---

Daddy: Her boobs.

Father Time: Don’t.

Daddy: They exist, Nanami. And they are not playing fair.

Father Time: I’m blocking you.

Daddy: She was cutting watermelon. Sweating. Arms flexing.

Father Time: I'm regretting everything.

---

Father Time: Her feet are swelling.

Daddy: And her thighs are looking—

Father Time: Don’t say it.

Daddy: Juicy.

Father Time: You’re a menace.

Daddy: Takes one to text one.

---

Daddy: She wore the sundress.

Father Time: Mm.

Daddy: With the slit.

Father Time: I know.

Daddy: It moved, Nanami.

Father Time: We're in public.

Daddy: You looked.

Father Time: I never said I didn’t.

---

Father Time: She cried over melted ice cream.

Daddy: And you still went back for more.

Father Time: Obviously.

Daddy: You’re going soft.

Father Time: You’ve always been soft.

Daddy: I’m crying right now.

Father Time: Me too.

---

Daddy: She looks huge now.

Father Time: I know.

Daddy: We’re almost there.

Father Time: I know.

Daddy: I’m scared.

Father Time: Same.

Daddy: But I think we’ll be okay.

Father Time: We will.

---

A/N:

Comment something, I like reading comments.

Previous Oneshot Chapter [Tumblr/Ao3] | Main Series [Tumblr/Ao3]

Next Chapter likely tomorrow.

All Works Masterlist

Beta - @blackrimmedrose

[muzsmocsing]

Just finished season one of tgcf. Do I know everyone's names? I don't. Or am I sure what that guy's deal was with the snake girl?? Not entirely. And why?

I couldn't hear the plot over the gaydar beeping nonstop.

I'm sorry but how was I supposed to pay attention to anything when the wholeass time Hua Cheng was in the background, making heart eyes at Xie Lian??? Bro clocks into reality occasionally to check if there's any real danger or an opportunity to impress gege with some sick lore but otherwise? Just wondering how he likes his eggs in the morning and if it's possible to top AND bottom at the same time.

[xielianlover2]

Hua Cheng: It's pretty cold outside... let me take your hand, gege? We should stay close

Xie Lian, *blushing*: Okay

Mu Qing: It's fucking summer and he has no body warmth

[karihighman]

Lisseth third wheeling my favorite ships is the best thing to ever happen to The Rookie & Chicago PD 🤭😅 it’s too great!!

[farsight-the-char]

Steph and Cass, at the Gotham art gallery during the selfcare day: *doing some absolutely 'galpal' stuff* Duke, who has been third wheeling these dumb gays for the past several months, who really just wants to look at the paintings :

[scenearcee]

Hu Tao and Furina being friends is the best thing that has happened to me in a while actually. Like they’re canonically working together, so I reserve the right to say that they end up being best friends. Sorry not sorry!!!!!

They match each other’s energy so nicely, and Hu Tao would constantly be teasing Furina with scary/morbid shit just to get a reaction out of her. I feel like they’d visit each other a lot, Furina going to Liyue and Hu Tao going to Fontaine every now and again, and just crashing at each other’s places for a few days. When Furina has an episode (I hit her with the C-PTSD ray), Hu Tao will just cuddle her on the couch until she stops crying and she’s ready to talk. They’re super touchy, not in a romantic way but definitely in a very platonic “I can’t go anywhere with you if you’re not holding my hand” way, if that makes any sense. When together, they’re always really close, because they both know that the proximity is comforting for Furina, and Hu Tao is perfectly willing to offer her space to her mysteriously sad best friend.

Sometimes Furina has to third wheel on YanTao dates, but Yanfei doesn’t mind at all- they actually get along quite nicely, discussing the intricacies of legal systems together, and banding up to tell Hu Tao to stop saying odd shit in public.

[dabiloveln]

I JUST WOKE WHAT IS GOING ON

@dabis-things @no2-hero-hawks

are they you know… flirting? fighting? right in front of me :o

[theladydothtalktoomuch]

Draco: Okay! It’s a new year, my resolution will be to stop talking about Granger! Pansy: Is that so? Draco: Yes! And I will start doing it from now! Pansy: Okay Draco: … Draco: … Pansy: Five, four, three— Draco: So what do you think Granger’s resolution is?

[aroacebooknerd]

yo is anyone else intensely into the idea of third wheeling

like-

i'm not going to be going on these dates... so let me butt into yours

it just seems so appealing to be able to be that one annoying friend and just stare at them while they try to have a romantic moment with someone,

and i just sit there.... perfect

it would totally weird out their date and i am 100% here for that

i want their date to think of me as that one weird friend that they can never get rid of

i want to be that weird comic relief character in a sit com

like- you can pry this moment from my cold dead hands, your date means more to me than it does to you, fight me

Sincerely,

An Enthusiastic Aro Ace

[justplainlovely]

Instead of working on my main fic like a good egg, I’m distracting myself with the “inexperienced Maximus learns something” oneshot that I’m probably gonna finish soon 😶

sneak peek cuz you guys are cool

[nanamineedstherapy]

Corporate Jester vs. Himbo Accountant: A Love Story

Or Gojo & Nanami Cosplay Each other

F!Pregnant Reader x Gojo Satoru x Nanami Kento

Previous Oneshot Chapter [Tumblr/Ao3] | Main Series [Tumblr/Ao3]

A/N: When your husbands swap personalities like cursed techniques and you're just trying to read the Wall Street Journal in peace. Enjoy this descent into psychological warfare (ft. Gojo’s accidental competence kink and Nanami’s latent himbo era). No spoilers, but someone does get called 'snickerdoodle' against their will.

It began—like most domestic war crimes—with Gojo talking mid-chew.

“I suffer the most in this marriage.”

Nanami didn’t even look up from his new maternity book. He exhaled through his nose like a man reading GDP collapse stats. “That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard all week.”

Gojo squinted. Powdered sugar clung to his lips. He wiped it off with the sleeve of your hoodie—stretched criminally tight over his shoulders—and pointed at Nanami like a man wronged by both fate and God.

“You don’t understand, Kento. She ignores me for her stupid little video games. She looks at me like I’m a stray dog in heat when I flirt. She sends me TikToks instead of saying, ‘I love you, Toru.’ She doesn’t even call me ‘baby’ unless she’s threatening me.”

Nanami didn’t blink. “That’s because you are a stray dog in heat.”

Gojo gasped. “Take it back.”

“I will not.”

You were curled up on the couch with an English financial newspaper, posture aggressive, eyes fixed. You hadn’t looked up once.

Gojo flailed. “Look at me! I am neglected. Emotionally starved. Withering!”

“I am begging you to never speak again,” Nanami muttered, flipping a page.

Gojo’s voice cracked. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to cuddle her, only to be met with ‘not now, I’m fighting the final boss.’”

Nanami hummed, unmoved. “You’re exhausting.”

Gojo planted his hands on his hips. “What do you even contribute to this marriage? Huh? Stock tips? Budget spreadsheets? Is that your idea of romance?”

Nanami took a deliberate sip of his nitro brew. “Yes.”

“You monster,” Gojo whispered, clutching his chest like a grief-stricken Victorian widow. “You dismiss my pain. My torment.”

Nanami calmly folded his book and set it aside. “You suffer only from a chronic lack of impulse control.”

Gojo’s eye twitched. “That’s rich. You rage-clean the whole house because your sock drawer isn’t sorted by tax bracket.”

“That’s called being productive.”

“No, that’s called being emotionally constipated.”

Nanami continued to sip his coffee. “And again—what do you contribute, Satoru? Besides decibel levels and credit card debt?”

Gojo threw his arms wide. “Excuse me for bringing excitement! Laughter! Chaos!”

“Oh yes,” Nanami drawled. “A glorified court jester.”

“I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN A JESTER.”

“Are you?”

Gojo narrowed his eyes. Then pivoted to you. ��Sweetheart. Who suffers more—me or Nanami?”

You didn’t glance up. Voice flat. “Don’t know. Don’t care. But if you keep talking during market open, you’ll both suffer.”

Gojo turned to Nanami, aghast. “She’s toxic.”

Still sipping, Nanami deadpanned, “that is common knowledge.”

Some time passed.

You eventually got up for coffee and walked into what could only be described as a threat to national security.

Gojo stood in the kitchen. Wearing Nanami’s three-piece suit. The charcoal one. With the tie tied correctly and the glasses perched halfway down his nose like he was about to call HR on someone.

His arms were folded. His spine straight. And his expression—god help you—was blank. Corporate. IRS-core.

“You look… responsible,” you whispered.

“I know,” Gojo replied, voice an octave lower, chest oddly still. “I feel like I should be disappointed in someone named Ethan.”

Then Nanami walked in.

Wearing Gojo’s insufferable bomber jacket. White shirt untucked. Collarbones exposed. Sunglasses pushed up like an exhausted DJ rolling into his 4 p.m. set. His smirk was pure tequila-era.

He leaned in. Whispered in your ear, “I woke up and chose to be your problem today, baby.”

You stepped back like he’d pulled a weapon. “What the actual fuck.”

Gojo adjusted his tie. “I am Nanami Kento.”

“Oh my god.”

“I believe in discipline. Silent judgment. Dying slowly in business casual. My hobbies include complaining about Gojo, making perfect omelets, and pretending I’m not obsessed with my wife.”

“This is offensive,” you muttered.

Gojo-as-Nanami stole your coffee and took a slow sip. “It’s also correct.”

Meanwhile, Nanami dragged out a kitchen chair. Sat in it backwards. Backwards. Like a middle-school PE teacher with a secret past. Smirked. “Morning, sweetheart.”

You choked on air.

Gojo staggered. “No. No, no, no, no—you don’t get to be hot while doing this.”

Nanami tilted his head. “What’s wrong, babe?”

Gojo was close to spiraling. “‘Babe’? Don’t you dare—”

But Nanami was undeterred. “Am I flustering you?”

You sighed, “Kento, I swear to god—”

“My little snickerdoodle.”

You backed away. “Absolutely not.”

“Let me spoil you. Take you out. Buy you a Birkin.”

Gojo was on the floor. Emotionally.

Nanami nudged his sunglasses down. “Let’s be real. I am the superior husband. Ridiculously good-looking. Genius-level talented. And I am so good at sex it’s actually ridiculous."

Gojo whimpered.

You stared, full deadpan. “I have made terrible life decisions.”

Nanami winked. “I know.”

Gojo’s glasses slid down the bridge of his nose. He pushed them up with a single finger. “My love, are you really wearing those pajamas at this hour? Did you eat? When’s the last time you touched grass?”

You rolled your eyes. “I make more in a second than the GDP of three nations. I don’t need to touch grass.”

Gojo straightened his tie. “But as Nanami Kento, I say things like ‘I am a simple man’ while being the most complicated bitch alive.”

“I’m leaving.”

“My love language is passive aggression,” Gojo added.

“I will kill you.”

“And yet you married me.”

“That line doesn’t even land coming from you.”

Gojo sighed. Pinched the bridge of his nose in perfect imitation. “This is my burden, Satoru. Carrying this marriage while my wife refuses to make responsible life choices.”

Nanami pointed at him. “You’re dressed as me and not even whining about lumbar support. Be honest—how’s the herniated disc?”

Gojo squared his shoulders like a TED Talk had just concluded. “My spine is flawless. Unlike your emotional regulation.”

Nanami barked a laugh—full teeth, head thrown back like he wasn’t made of spreadsheets and sex appeal. “You’re standing like a divorced gym teacher in a bar.”

Gojo waved it off. “I am a divorced gym teacher in a bar, except I day-trade.”

Nanami was breaking character because his jaw had already clenched—twice. “Kento,” he said, tone flat. “Answer this honestly.”

“No.”

“Are you capable of admitting I’m your best friend?”

Gojo paused. His hand twitched toward his glasses.

With a funereal solemnity: “I’d rather be shot in the throat by a Nerf gun dipped in cyanide.”

Nanami tilted his head. “Jealous I’m the main character.”

“You’re an emotionally repressed side quest at best.”

Then Nanami kissed your hand.

Gojo straightened his tie. The smirk dropped. “I need to file my taxes or yell at a teenager about not having a 4O1k already. This outfit is cursing me with responsibility.”

Nanami pushed his sunglasses up. “I feel the urge to make an irresponsible purchase and lose IQ points.”

You pulled out your phone. “I need a divorce.”

“No,” they both said. In perfect, synchronized, nightmare harmony.

You stared. “God’s already left. I’m next.”

---

A/N: If you cackled, gasped, or now fear Nanami’s ability to weaponize a backwards chair, yell at me in the comments. (Gojo’s ego needs the engagement. Your wife sanity is already forfeit.)

Previous Oneshot Chapter [Tumblr/Ao3] | Main Series [Tumblr/Ao3]

Next Chapter - Vogue Living: The Strongest's Nemesis Has Fur, a Therapist, & No Chill - [Tumblr/Ao3]

All Works Masterlist

Beta - @blackrimmedrose

[bealzebubs-blog]

Cryptic ass picture from me third wheeling my sister and her boyfriend on vrchat yesterday

[purplereadingenthusiast]

Yknow what? I’m getting really tired of Gus being treated as a throwaway character who just third- or fifth- or seventh-wheels for his friends. It’s really upsetting, especially as an aroace, when people make jokes about him being “forever alone” or whatever, because it’s just not true.

First of all, yes, he isn’t in a romantic relationship, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have someone who appreciates him and loves him for who he is. And secondly, his friends already are those people! They care about him!! Sure, they have romantic interests as well, but that doesn’t mean they love him any less. Luz, Amity, Willow and Hunter aren’t going to abandon or ignore him just because they’re in romantic relationships with each other. Sure, they’ll want to spend some alone time together, I’m not denying that, but it doesn’t mean they’ll all go out as a group and then turn it into a double date where Gus is the odd one out like some of you are suggesting.

it’s also pretty disheartening when people respond to Gus’ third-wheeling with something like “that’s what Matt is for!” Sure, Matt could be a solution if Gus was feeling lonely, but he isn’t necessarily feeling that way just from the basis of him third-wheeling. And even if he was, the assumption that a character just needs a romantic interest to be happy is glaringly amatonormative, especially when it’s paired with the assumption that it would “make up” for his friends ignoring him.

in conclusion, let Gus be happy with his friends, please. If you want to make fanart of the group doing something together with Lumity and Huntlow themes, no one’s stopping you, but some of the jokes about him being a third wheel are hurtful to people like aromantics or others who don’t want a romantic relationship. Gus isn’t just a silly side character there for comedic relief. Don’t treat him like one.

[dragzo]

Thank you to everyone who gave my fic a chance. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for 100 comments, over 250 kudos, 38 bookmarks and over 4000 hits! It’s crazy to me that my fic gained so much traction and love. I know I was regularly posting updates but it’s still a really nice achievement.

If you enjoyed my writing in that fic, I’d highly recommend checking out the new fic I’m working on: Prank Gone Wrong. Another spicynoodles fic, it centres on Mei and her experience as an aromantic third wheel. It’s a comedy with light angst undertones and a lot of fluff. Updates won’t be as scheduled as the last fic, but I promise I’ll keep them regular. Chapter 2 will be up on Saturday :]

[farsight-the-char]

EXCEPTIONAL X-MEN #11

VARIANT COVER BY JUNGGEUN YOON

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Mind the hand, Kathrine.