#Shallow Shitposts

[malewifehenrycooldown]

I was going to write up a post about my ship with Android 18 but then realised I had to explain the whole 'But what about Krillin?!' question. So here's a meme I quickly put together to demonstrate how the ship works.

[enchantrum]

Dragon Age fandom had its problems but at least almost everyone understood the usage of tags like "character critical" "character hate" etc and didn't just throw big tirades against characters in the public tags where their fans obviously hang out. and when they did do that even people who also hate the character told them to stop

BG3 fandoms treatment of tags is like "fuck around and find out" and then when OP finds out they cry that everyone is so rude and unfair. like bro you did the equivalent of walking into a clubhouse and telling everyone there you hate the thing the club is about????

yeah people are gonna call you dumb and tell you to fuck off

[ev-enhotterthanyou]

i take no responsibility for any of my past actions. except if they were sexy then its all me

[heksen-sabbat]

my growing collection of Wulfgar Images while i spin him violently in my mind

[chonnysinferno]

do you guys think this was the right name to name my airpods. i think i should've named it after storm and a spring tbh

[manic-pixie-dream-cock]

There is an idea of a manic pixie dream cock—some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me—only an entity: something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shape my hand and feel flesh gripping yours—and maybe you can even sense that our lifestyles are probably comparable—I simply….am not….there.

[cloudxxiii]

punishment for he crimes

@12-oz-joy

[robobee]

ykw in a way I am glad for the sarchengsey breakup. do you have any idea how crusty dusty gansey is going to be when he's old. straight up leather. i know that man always forgets his sunscreen and gets burnt and then still does not learn his lesson. Henry's beautiful eternal glass skin doesn't deserve that

[moonrabbitisgay]

i have to be the most pleasant and personable patient in this doctor's office

[lynxgirlpaws]

>see someone with cut arms or thighs

>look at my own

>immediately feel like im a faker bc they aren't as thick or prominent as they are in other people

What the fuck is wrong with me

[malewifehenrycooldown]

idk man but i think the touchdown siblings deserved better :/

[cosmicallymundane]

im makin a notebook for all my concepts and i guess lore for my ocs' in hopes of it feeling more tangible? like it'll encourage me to continue because i mean i wrote stuff down already so its only fair to past me to keep workin on it???

[cubikzoa]

Types of people that could whoop the asses of both God and the Devil at once with a hand tied behind their back:

. People who have been employees or customer service at Walmart and also worked the Denny’s night shift at some point. Both blessed and curséd with rare insight about the human psyche and our modern world

. People who do not like K-pop and unapologetically hold their own in an online fight against the toxic K-pop army. You stood tall, and did what all others could not find the courage to

. People who are severely lactose intolerant but refuse to stop eating cheese and ice cream at every conceivable opportunity, damn the consequences. They have come to terms with enjoying the brevity of human life

. People who have worked for theme parks or sports teams and dressed up in the mascot suits while silently sweating enough to fill Niagara Falls and surrounded by yelling kids. Masters of self-control, others would go on a child-kicking spree

. People who go to the grocery store to buy condoms or tampons or lube or whatever and never put anything else in their cart out of embarrassment. They’re not embarrassed. Superhumans, they are secure in their self-esteem and self-worth

. Gamers who are girls and consistently play their favorite video games despite toxic gaming communities, because it’s what they love to do, and no one will stop them. Mic on, none can best their willpower, determination, and strength

. People who still have not deleted their teenage Deviantart or Wattpad account, even though it’s been like over a decade. They are at peace with their past and their journey as a person. Paragons of an bygone era

. College students who consume enough of various caffeine drinks and energy drinks to kill a full-grown grizzly, while flavoring it with sour patch kids, Kool-Aid, or Gatorade. They do what needs to be done, and then selflessly surpass it by far

[thesnadger]

The Goncharov meme is such a fun little spotlight on how people view media. Like, fake academic analysis about a movie that doesn't exist. Cool. But that's only the first level.

Next you have posts recreating a modern tumblr audience "discovering" an older piece of media and engaging with it through the lens of fan culture. Particularly tumblr-specific fan culture. Particularly in a way that feels like it got its blueprint from Dracula Daily. (Shitposts and memes, intense love for the most prominent female character, reads of complex romantic dynamics between characters, etc.)

Then you get fake discourse about the fake fan response to a fake movie that are quietly complaining about real ways real people respond to real media. I.e., America-centric readings, shallow, shipping-based readings, fans lionizing a protagonist not meant to be admired, etc.

(My personal favorite are posts that recreate the experience of being told a piece of media is so gay, you guys, only to watch it and find it isn't even remotely, that fans who wanted queer subtext wrung blood from a stone and thoroughly misled you.)

I also like the extra-meta ones about "this obscure movie being recently re-discovered," fake film history about copyright battles or the original cut being suppressed, etc. And of course, Johnny fucking Truant is here to give his editorial take on it, as he should be.

Pale Fire, House of Leaves, Goncharov. Humanity is such that every now and then we need to get really invested in fake arguments about a piece of media that doesn't exist.

[catsandcatci]

“just one more” is the devil speaking through you. I don't care what it is do NOT do one more

[onesidedradiostatic]

was gonna make a joke about this and have this be a shitpost instead but honestly may pass out soon so I'll type this seriously cause I have no energy to come up with a clever joke

it's interesting how vox's insults in stayed gone are literally just different ways of saying "you're old and outdated you're old and outdated you're old and outdated you're old and outda" tackled with a bit of "you're a coward" in there, whereas alastor's insults are not jabs at vox being new or modern tech, but rather his practices, "clout-chasing mediocre video podcast" he's saying he's a pandering, attention-seeking sellout, and he targets at vox's insecurities, questions his power, then makes fun of him for still being salty about his rejection.

I feel like it's pretty telling how vox's insults are just SO shallow, while alastor's cut deeper and more personally. while you could say, alastor may be just better at roasting than vox, I feel like it could also tell you something about alastor's hatred of vox being based on actual reason, which makes sense, he is the one who rejected the idea of being on a team with vox, the one who decided to make the decision to step away from their friendship. there were likely legitimate things about vox that alastor started to notice he didn't like.

whereas vox's hatred is extremely petty, he's still pissy over that rejection, he has no reasonable reason to hate on alastor's practices or medium. literally ALL he has is constantly repeating how tv is better and newer and how radio is worse and older, that he literally uses that SAME snap back even after alastor has his part "what a dated voice!" "you're looking at the future! he's the shit that comes before that!". he has NOTHING on alastor. if you asked him to make a list about what he hated about alastor he would probably just give you 10000 synonyms of "he's old and outdated" and be unable to come up with anything non-superficial. because the falling out on his part, from his perspective, was being rejected. and after that, BLIND RAGE. he hates alastor. he does. but he can't reasonably tell you why.