#about how things never seemed right

[lionydoorin]

Do you think Tara eventually starts forgetting Amber's details? The sound of her voice, the color of her eyes, her favorite song.

Obviously you don't just forget someone you loved that much, but it's been a year since Tara has seen or heard Amber, plus all the traumatic memories she has attached to her.

Could you imagine if Tara's brain started blocking Amber out as a trauma response?

WEEPS.

eough. totally. tara's brain altering some memories or blocking them as a trauma response. EOUGH.

it starts with simple things, the kind of simple that tara wouldn't worry about at first. a song that would always make her think about amber suddenly not making her want to cry as much. that story she told her once during a sleepover suddenly fading away from her mind. amber was allergic to something in this meal, what was it?

forgetting these things gave her a certain relief, somehow. amber was a complicated subject. she didn’t know how she was supposed to feel, and the thought of her was always too painful, too scary. so, maybe these small details weren’t meant to be stored in her mind, the ghost of her best friend (the person who tried to kill her) finally deciding to rest and let her be.

so, if tara couldn't remember the name of amber's childhood pet, she wouldn't bat an eye. if her tumblr username didn't cross her mind, it would be fine, because it meant she wouldn't wanna check it out once more, like it's amber's own personal diary.

even if it the idea of forgetting it made her anxious. even if not thinking about her hurt as much as thinking about her.

her dreams became more and more jumbled after that, psychedelic counterparts to the very real memories her brain decides to play on repeat as soon as she closes her eyes.

amber seemed more strange with every night: hands a little rougher than what she remembers when her mind replays her choking her neck, face more, and more, and more distorted as she burns alive. sometimes she was taller than she actually was, other times, she seemed shorter than tara. she never used these rings, and what was that pendant on her necklace? her eyes didn’t seem her own, her hair was somehow not right. didn’t she have a beauty mark somewhere on her face? i could swear her smile was different. why does everything seem so wrong?

i’ll make it quick, the person in her dreams would say as it places tara in the closet, voice just not quite right, tying her body instead of just her hands. wasn’t it different? is this what actually happened? i promise, tara. i'll end her and come back for you. i'll take care of you.

(she never said that.

did she say that?

what did she say, anyway?)

[shepscapades]

X isn’t big on hugs, but Doc does what he can. It’s the little things that help.

[obsidianbit]

I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans

[tippenfunkaport]

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

[fairyroses]

He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.

— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)

+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):

[solitaireships]

I feel like I should say since there's been a recent uptick in a lot of communities I'm in/see stuff from a lot of white people pretending to be Asian, but you are not welcome here if you are in anyway stealing from Asian cultures for clout or the aesthetics of it

This includes if you're white and you give your self inserts Asian names, I truly do not care if your f/o is from an anime, you should not be using an Asian name under any circumstances. I hate that whenever I see someone using an Asian name online, I feel like I have to start searching their account to see if they're actually Asian or just a white person who likes the aesthetic of it bcs far too many white people will use Asian names here just bcs it sounds cool, with no regard for the actual cultural meaning behind it. Meanwhile actual Asian people will be mocked for their names, or treated like their names are too hard to learn to pronounce, or discriminated against based on their names

Asian cultures are not a fun little costume for people to dress up with. They aren't just a nice aesthetic, they aren't just a thing you can borrow from bcs you think it sounds cool

[margoshrmargoshing]

Too tired for words

Waaagh sniffs sobs hhh.... cries sniffles sniff... wahh... starts rolling on the floor crying...... wahgh

[the-labyrinth-of-me]

Wait did both Alice and Zane record Alan when he was at his lowest point? Didn't Alice make her exhibition to show the world what she sees? To show Alan the truth about himself? That it never was Scratch visiting and terrorizing her, but Alan himself? Did she depict his "self" and Zane depicted his "persona"? The two sides of him that he wishes he can eliminate bc they brought him into trouble (Scratch representing anger and the fallouts with paparazzi and stuff, Zane representing his self-destructive behavior with alcohol and drugs and the party nights)? The both sides that caused his marriage to start falling apart? Was that the reason Zane made that video of Alan when they were on that booze and drug-fueled bender while working on the Return manuscript? Is this party video the companion piece?? Alan's downward spiral, same as Alice's photos? Do they fucking work together aasdffjfjfkfk

[myrkulitescourge]

imo karlach’s soul coin usage seems like it should have been a little more significant than it was.

she only ever really stops to consider the magnitude of burning through a person’s soul for power during an origin playthrough—otherwise she rationalizes to the player that they’re doomed anyway, and if using them gives her an edge in combat, why not use them for good instead of leaving them to be used by evil? the dialogue with lann tarv in act 2, where he tells the story of each soul he's handing over to her, tries to humanize each soul coin, and still she doesn’t really budge and disapproves pretty heavily if she's told no in regards to using them.

it just seems like something that could have caused some kind of conflict between her and wyll, given he sold his soul to a devil in dire circumstances and takes issue with the player for sleeping with mizora, because she 1) is mizora, and 2) similarly expends tormented souls during her romance scene, even if for a different purpose. but it just... never really comes up?

i love karlach. but that seems like it should have gone Somewhere, from a writing standpoint? karlach values wyll as a person but is willing to use currency forged from souls like his for the sake of a temporary power up. she knows the soul is consumed when she uses them. that whole exchange with lann tarv is there to emphasize that every soul coin she destroys was a person once. but it all kind of loses narrative purpose if this combination of factors doesn't mean anything? karlach doesn't change at all in her willingness to use soul coins, no matter what the player says or how much she cares for wyll.

idk. missed opportunity that wyll doesn't have any dialogue about this, of all things.

[goldensunset]

the indecision between ‘i love this character and i want them to be happy/i want to see more of them’ and ‘it would be most narratively compelling/intriguing if they died or otherwise were (mysteriously) never seen or heard from again’

[jayktoralldaylong]

Jon: If you need a vessel so bad why don't you just become-

Elias: Because I'm not scared of them.

Jon: ......

Elias: I don't need your body, Jon. I need your fear. 😈

Meanwhile, Elias the Gaslight King in earlier seasons: Jon you know I'd never let anything bad happen to you, I'm only trying to help. We need to save the world together, isn't that what we're trying to achieve? Oh Jon, Jon, Jon, bad things are only happening because you do not trust me. Trust me, and we can save everyone. Don't you believe me?

Then it went the exact opposite with Peter and Martin.💀😂💔

Peter: I've got the perfect plan to beat Elias. Can you do what it takes to become the hero?

Martin: I'm going to save the world?

Peter: Yes, and it will be you and you alone. Do you trust me?

Martin: I trust you.

That same season 💀

Peter: You played me! 😳😭 You've been lying to me this entire time.

Martin: You lied first 🙄 and I knew it the instant you told me I'd save the world. I can't save the world. I've never saved anything in my entire life. I'm not important enough to be the hero.

[phoenixcatch7]

Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.

Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!

And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.

Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!

But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!

[wooawi]

Nino helps Adrien realise his father is abusive but not on purpose. It’s little things here and there.

After Adrien eats dinner with Nino’s family one time, Nino’s mother sends Nino to school from henceforth with an extra lunch. When Adrien is met with this and asks Nino why, well, Nino just shrugs and says he doesn’t think it’s healthy to eat so little.

Adrien’s locked up in his room again, nothing out of the ordinary. Then he gets a text from Nino asking where he is and explains the whole thing to the boy.

Nino replies with “Dude. That’s shitty. You should be able to hang out with your friends if you want to,” before the two spend the rest of the day texting back and forth.

Adrien drops an offhand comment about how he doesn’t really like his extra activities. They’re all too competition based and he’d much rather do them for fun, as a way to connect with others because he wants to, not because he has to. Nino asks him why he doesn’t just quit then and Adrien says because his father won’t let him.

Nino shakes his head. “My uncle loves football. He put me in this youth group for it when I was younger but I hated it. Felt like a chore to be honest. Told him about it and he let me quit and focus on what I wanted to do instead. Wish your dad was the same.”

Adrien shares that he doesn’t know what he wants to do when he grows up. That he doesn’t think he has a choice in the matter. It doesn’t matter anyway, he’s never thought about it before and he just won’t think about it now. Nino raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.

Later on, Adrien gets a list of careers and hobbies from Nino he could look at, complete with notes and comments about what each one entails. Adrien shows interest in video games and writing. Nino mentions he could set up a meeting with his mum, a developer.

When Adrien wonders why he’s not planning to be a developer too, Nino replies, “Well, maman knows I’m not much for video games. That’s more Marinette’s thing.”

Eventually, Adrien gets the idea that a parent is supposed to be more like Nino’s mother and uncle rather than his father. It’s subconscious, but it’s there, and it helps Adrien realise a lot more serious issues within his own family.

[kimasousparky]

it'll never stop being funny to me how 6 years old me was so on spot when she imagined mario as "an average, kind-hearted guy who was really good at jumping, really loved his timid brother luigi and liked the princess he romantically" while playing SMW over and over again before she was exposed to media that portrayed mario with a personality

[gobstoppr]

hey guys am i allowed to say on main that i dont like metadad . am i gonna get beaten up for saying this.

guys i think we all took the term found family too literally and now everythings flattened into a boring nuclear family. guys can we stop. hello . is anybody there

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

i stand with you in the face of a defensive misunderstanding of what critique is.

i think understanding what a critique actually is is a skill that increasingly is not taught. i remember going through freshman art courses feeling the frustration that all negative, nasty, unhelpful, and missed-the-point-entirely feedback is so commonly conflated with critique, and then critique gets a bad name because everyone remembers the time someone said their painting looked like an asshole (true story, altho now i think i would take it as a compliment) instead of the time a teacher or friend or classmate helped them uncover a hurtful bias or think of new ways to explore the same idea or how to connect it to related ideas or how to look up and understand other people's ideas on the same topic.

anyway i think you're great.

ahhh you're so kind to me!! i appreciate your support, and i think you are great also.

i have experience with giving and receiving critique as a student myself, and i think it was the best part of my degree! i majored in creative writing in college, and critique was just a generally accepted part of learning to become a writer. i don't even remember people being especially worried about receiving critique on their work. we had guidance on what kind of feedback was useful, but we were still at liberty to give it as we saw fit as like messy 19 year olds. the standard was that we gave it both written on printed copies of the work AND aloud in front of the whole class, and the writer receiving it was not permitted to speak during the critique. understanding how people are perceiving your work is important!

i don't have any particularly negative recollections of the critique process, although once in a high school writing class, the boys in the class told me that my male characters touched each other too gently and real boys are more rough with each other. in particular, they took issue with me writing that one boy nudged another. nudging is too soft. nudging is for girls. that was more than 20 years ago, and i still think about it sometimes because it was such an interesting perspective! i did not take their advice, though.

i should dig up that piece and see if it reads queer in any other ways. i think that's what they were getting at. (actually i once had a non-fiction class tell me i was in love with my roommate after reading an essay i wrote about her)(i did not listen to that advice either, but having 12 acquaintances tell you that you're gay in 2006 before you realize it yourself is Truly Something!)

i think people have conflated criticism and critique and think that being more openly analytical is the same thing as being negative. but analysis is so fun to me! analysis is why i joined fandom in the first place, and it's why i write fic! can we trust each other to be respectful and to speak in good faith even when we're not singing each other's praises? for me fandom would be better if we could.

oh i also want to clarify that i don't think it's impossible to demonstrate that you've thought deeply about a piece of fanwork while remaining completely positive. people do it all the time and do it very well!

i know i sometimes have tunnel vision wrt my own perspective. in a lot of situations, i wish it were more acceptable to be more direct, and i know people sometimes find the way i express myself to be kind of shocking. i know a lot of people like to be spoken to more indirectly than comes natural to me, and i don't mean to imply that my perspective is the only correct one or that there's no good reason to err on the side of gentleness/politeness in our responses to amateur art and writing. i just think that at a certain level of circumspection, it feels like we're all holding each other at arm's length.

i think for people who can't bear to feel exposed, making and sharing art is always going to be painful and difficult, and maybe too painful and difficult to enjoy the process unless they're sure of a soft landing. but like. the rewards of being loved only come after the mortifying ordeal of being known, right?