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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Albedo idol girl darling thoughts M A N I F E S T E D

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Well, to be entirely honest, he thinks the whole idol thing is a little dumb.

For someone like him, at least. He's a PhD student in his final semester, lots of work to be done and all that. So, you know, he's a responsible, accomplished adult. Not the kind of person who gets into "that stuff," as he calls it in his head.

Nor does he even know how he encountered it... He just takes the occasional break from work to mindlessly open whatever app first pops into his vision and scroll through the feed. He's never watched anything like it in his life, so he's not exactly sure why he gets recommended some idol girl thing, and even less sure why he taps it without really thinking. Probably one of those videos that gets recommended to everyone. Well, can't be that, it doesn't have that many views... Probably loosely connected to some video game he's searched before or something. He's familiar with idols and what they are, and the subculture surrounding them, but he's never really cared about it.

Honestly, it's kinda pathetic that a bunch of grown adult men get so obsessed over these girls, he thinks as he watches. He's seen the type. Lonely, asocial dudes, most definitely virgins whose only female attention in their entire life is their mother, well into adulthood with no real social group to speak of.

...Not that he's much better off, but he hasn't quite sunk down to their level. The only reason he doesn't talk to people much is because they're busy, and he's even busier. He managed to make a few friends in undergrad years. Well, study partners who mooched off his notes since he was one of the top students, but same idea. They were people he spoke to more than once, which is what constitutes a friend, right? And for the record, one time in high school a girl in his class said she liked his hair. He hasn't changed the way he wears it since. Whenever he's sad, he thinks about that compliment from 10+ years ago, and it makes him feel a little better. But now, he's constantly slammed with work and research.

And his acquaintances are also all busy. He sees notifications every now and then from social media he never checks. Everyone is getting married at this stage in life, both friends and even other PhD students in his department. Not that he's ever been invited to a wedding, he just overhears a lot of conversations, sees notifications of posts. And he will too, eventually. He just has to finish up his degree, and then... Meet a girl. Well, that's actually the second step, step one would be finding out how to go about meeting a girl. He's... Never done it before. Probably does not happen sitting in the research lab at 11:30 pm on YouTube. He's talked to one of the other PhD students who's a girl before. And only stutters sometimes. He was even able to look her in the face while he talked to her once. That's a good start.

Ok, so maybe he is a little bit pathetic, but not as bad as... These guys. Reading the comments of the video actually make him feel a little better about himself, because frankly, they're kinda wild. The worship and fawning over girls is one thing, but they even have timestamps referring to various members like "she's super cute here!" Or "you can kinda see her thigh at 3:12!" Etc etc. Yeesh, creepy. And they get into comment fights over who is the best member, as if it even matters. It's fascinating in a human-social-experiment sort of way, the manifestation of a subculture and how humans interact with each other. On and on it goes, hundreds of commenters. He pays more attention to the comments than the actual video, but the song is kinda catchy in that annoying sort of way, and the girls are cute, just kinda... The typical thing he'd expect from idol groups. But the building will close soon, so he taps back to home screen and swipes the app closed.

Unfortunately, the algorithm remembers.

And he's not certain why he clicks the next one either, the following day. The lunch breaks he takes are usually pretty rushed. Not that he has specific class times at his level of academia, but he likes to get his work done. He intentionally eats either a bit later or earlier than the lunch crowd to avoid crowds and interactions. Finds a nice secluded little table tucked away. So when he opens it back up, what do you know, several more videos get recommended. It's absent minded when he taps on one, the kind of numb-brained entertainment every modern person indulges in, videos you wouldn't really be interested in but just watch because they're there.

Ok, this is really creepy. These dudes have made compilation videos of close ups of each specific girl. It's the same group as the video he saw before, same little lewd costumes. Admittedly the girls are kinda cute. He can kinda understand the appeal. But he's not like those guys, he would never become like, obsessed with them.

The song is actually really catchy. The kind of mindlessly addictive, repetitive pop music that's the same four chords over and over, each song is so similar you can't really tell them apart, but it gets stuck in your head anyway. This group has... nine members. Who needs that many singers in one group? It's not like a band or anything, they all just sing and do their little choreography. Guess that's a form of talent, even though he doesn't really get it.

Some of the groups he sees in recommended videos are cute and wholesome, and while this group is cute too, there's a very... Blatantly intentional lewdness to their poses and costumes. A hypersexualized sort of cuteness. Clearly marketed at lonely losers who have nothing better to do with their time than obsess over a girl who will never even know they exist.

He taps another video.

So many compilations, yikes. He has to give the guys credit, they're insanely loyal to the individual member that they decide to fixate on. Oh, and they even make official figurines and posters for these girls, that's... Something.

And a few days later he can kinda recognize the girls. They have color themes, you know, identical costumes except each girl's is a different color. This lead one is red, this main backup is blue, etc etc. Lots of bright colors. Kinda hurts his eyes to be honest.

And he's seen compilations of every girl except... The pink one. The pink one is always kinda off to the side. Well, these groups do have their favoritism, there's apparently one or two lead singers in all of the major idol groups, and the rest are basically backups and dancers. Still, a lot of dudes get super devoted to the non-main girls. So yeah, he's never seen a compilation for the pink one... He can't always exactly remember which one is which but now he's seen enough to know the other girls' names. He's not sure what hers is though. So he googles it and gets the name.

Wonder why she doesn't have as many videos...? Oh, it's because she's the newest member. Only been around a few months. There's... A whole board dedicated to the group, which he's getting this information from. Wow, pathetic. What kind of person spends their free time browsing a forum for an idol group? Well, he's just doing it to find information, not for fun or anything. He was just curious. Now he knows and he can forget about it and never look at anything related to them again... after he types her name and group name into the YouTube search bar and checks the results out, that is.

Oh, so they do have some compilations for her, just not many. "(Name) thigh compilation." Fuck, these people have no limits to how creepy and pathetic they can get, he thinks... as he watches the video. Ok, admittedly there are some good thigh shots there. There's a comment. "At 4:26 you can see her panties." Pathetic. They're not wrong though. Just to be sure, you see, he tapped the timestamp, and you can, in fact, see them. Stripes. Cute.

But he still has to do his work. Can't get too invested in watching mindless videos all day. He's got a thesis to work on.

That makes him curious, though, he thinks as he goes about his research. Do these girls go to school? Do they like, skip college, or do they join some kind of performing arts school or...? So he googles it. He can remember the pink one's name now, so he just finds her Wikipedia page. Oh, so she joined right out of high school and has been in various groups ever since.

Wait, various groups? So she has more groups she's been in? What are those? Before he typed her name into the search along with the group name, but if he just searches her name he gets... A lot more content from earlier years. Huh. Didn't know some of them did group-hopping like that.

Still, no education. Must be all smiles and body and no brains. Guess that's all you really need. Yeah, looking at that whole act they do... All giggly and childish and lewd... She's probably not too bright. At least she's pretty and sings nice. And the thighs are rather good. Smooth looking. They have a sort of jiggle when she jumps up and down on stage. The thigh highs they make those girls wear have that nice little dip where the skin is compressed by the fabric. Like... right there at that closeup. He takes a screenshot.

It's readily available, he's already seen the video and knows the best parts, whereas searching for porn would take time. The sooner he can get the daily stress relief out of the way the sooner he can work on his thesis. So this way is faster. That's why he's jerking off to the thigh video and not taking the time to look for porn. Plus, it makes him cum faster. Which it probably shouldn't since it's just thighs, but... Probably has something to do with the tease of it all maybe. That makes sense.

Or maybe it's that cute little giggle he can hear at some parts. She smiles and jumps and spins and laughs.

...It makes him wonder what she'd look like crying. Scared. Whimpering. Covered in bruises and bite marks. The contrast between that state and the one on the screen. The process and the things he could do to get her from one to the other. Yeah, he realizes, it's that thought, rather than the happy giggling on video or tease aspect, that makes him cum.

He's aware that his... tastes... are a little on the fucked up side, but hey, there's plenty of bastards out there far worse than him.

One day he discovers she has social media platforms. He... Doesn't really have any. He doesn't have Twitter or Instagram or any of that but... He downloads the app and makes an account for each. Just to follow her. Ooh, they even have the option to get a notification every time she posts... That's good. Otherwise he might check too frequently. He sets a special sound effect for notifications for her socials. The first few times, you see, he would get super excited when his phone went off, only to be disappointed when it was just a work email. Thus, he made the separate sounds.

He wouldn't say he has a favorite, that sounds really cringey you know? He just... Likes her more than the others. ...Dammit, that's what a favorite is. Ok, maybe he has a favorite, that's not that bad. He's not obsessed. He hasn't bought any merchandise at all or anything, especially not member-specific merchandise. Which they do have, because he visited the store page for a while and spent all his willpower physically restraining himself from buying something. It's not that he's biased, he just thinks she's objectively better than the rest of the group. Which can be backed up with evidence, anyone with eyes could tell by watching the performances.

As to what specifically draws him to her... he's not certain, to be honest. Maybe it's because she's the least appreciated out of the group, new and all. The less popular one. Or maybe her personality... She seems so sweet, even though he knows it's probably just an act for the fans. Or maybe just those thighs. That's also a valid possibility.

He cracks and buys some of the merchandise. Only about $300 worth. But honestly, he gets more invested into just printing out pictures of you. Pasting them onto the wall above his desktop. It keeps him going when the nights are hard.

But he refrains from ever commenting on anything. Some of these losers are just... so embarrassing, he can't stomach the thought of being associated, even if it's just an anonymous comment online. It's still pretty... Distasteful. He still browses the boards every day. You're his lock screen now. And home screen. And also your solo is his ringtone. He only sets his phone on sound when he's alone at home, though, when he's at work he puts it on vibrate. He... doesn't want anyone hearing that. No offense. He has some appropriate amount of shame, unlike the other bastards.

And the girls probably know that most of their fans are these kind of loser men, right? She'd probably be surprised someone nearly graduating with a chemistry doctorate is sitting around watching these dumb videos. Is that more or less pathetic? He thinks less, hopefully.

In fact, the other fans kind of irritate him. They're really cringy and annoying and it gives him secondhand embarrassment. And something... Deeper. Something about seeing the comments upsets him on a visceral level. It's gross. Sure, he's grateful for the dudes who sit around and make a list of timestamps for upskirt shots and the like, but... It kinda bothers him, feeling like there's some other dude out there sitting around, watching these long videos with his gross eyes and recording the times of shots that get him off. It feels gross. But more like... A violation against you. Sure, your group is very blatantly sexualized and intentionally risque in clothing but... Still, it feels wrong for someone to go through and get to see all of that.

Well, someone else. It's ok for him, since he's not a gross degenerate like the rest of them. He does genuinely see himself as... Above them. You know how like, back in the day, how the nobles used to sit around and watch plays from the far back while the peasants gathered around the stage? It's like that. He's not a gross loser or a NEET or anything like that. He's got a life. Well... Not a social life, but he's doing better than them, at least he has a degree, and soon a higher degree, and a job. He has a lot of things they don't. Basic hygiene. Student loan debt. And uh... Well, he's probably more pleasant to interact with, at least he's not gonna be frothing at the mouth like an animal if he saw you in real life. He would certainly freeze up, but that's preferable, isn't it?

And one day there's a video circulating in the idol community - not that he's a part of it or anything, he just keeps getting the dumb videos and watching them for mindless entertainment - where some girl group had an attempted kidnapping. Not her group, but some other group. The video has gone viral. Some dude tried to rush the stage and pull one of the girls away. Apparently the cops found he had an obsession with her.

What an idiot. If you're gonna kidnap someone, put some effort in, jeez. It's not hard to figure out how to do it right.

If that were him, he wouldn't be that stupid, he'd just look for an interval where she's alone. They have those solo or breakout group songs where some of the girls are backstage, just get her then. Memorize the concert schedule, wear something over your face, chloroform her, and stuff her into something and walk right out. Easy.

....

He catches himself in the thought and realizes that might have been a bit creepy, but he was just thinking in terms of hypotheticals. If he was the kind of crazy to do that, that's what he'd do, that's all.

He's always enjoyed entertaining strategic thoughts, really. He's had a couple fantasies about how he would commit murders of this or that person before, and he's never murdered anyone, so thoughts don't lead to actions. He just... Really doesn't like those people, and the fantasies help him... Deal with it. He just likes to strategize about methods, and how he'd get away with it... Stuff like that. Actually, he's convinced it's a very normal thing, but no one wants to admit it. Everyone has detailed murder fantasies every now and then.

Which is why this is no different. He's just strategizing because it's fun. He has no intentions of doing anything for real. He just plans out the details like a game. And tells himself to just never think about it again.

Until one specific night that he's staring down at his screen. Lying in bed. He should be asleep, he needs to be up early tomorrow but... He's just checking to be sure he's reading this correctly. You're coming to his town? He wouldn't think so, since it's not too big, just your average college town. But still, you'll be right here, right in his general vicinity, not far away at all.

Not that he'd ever actually go to such an event. No way. He hates crowds with a passion. He hates loud environments even more. A concert is like his worst nightmare. Besides, knowing the general audience of your group, it'll be a bunch of sweaty NEET dudes who haven't showered in a month and haven't crawled out of their house in even longer. No thank you.

But.

That's when the thought pops back up. It's been a few months since that night he had that strategizing fantasy, and, well, he tried to forget it but... It kinda lingered in the back of his mind. And now it's back in full force.

He shrugs the idea off. It's crazy. He'd never actually do something like that. It was just a fantasy.

...But he could get away with it if he wanted to.

He's not scared or anything, no, he's confident in his strategizing. He knows he could. Totally. It's foolproof. There's no need to carry it out to know that, besides, what would he even do with you?

Well, he's pretty certain he does know what he would do with you. He's watched that thigh video maybe a hundred times now. And even if he won't admit it, he's jerked off to the exact same fantasy for like, several months.

He doesn't really... Think about it. Just kind of slips into subconscious actions. Autopilot. One click and well, there goes $400 on an amp case. His eyes gaze over the dimensions... And then there's your height on the Wikipedia page... Yeah... That should work. He gets it sent to the address a few doors down just in case, and snatches it from in front of their door, but he finds himself backpedaling. What the hell is he doing? He would never actually go through with this, what a waste of money... But he still opens it. Sets it beside his front door. Tests the wheels to make sure they work.

He knows how to make chloroform. He doesn't need YouTube tutorials (unlike a certain someone else), he knows exactly how to do it, even alternate methods besides the usual acetone and bleach combination - so long as you end up with the same chemical makeup, it's all the same. He just goes with the traditional way though... Doesn't really know why he does it. Just mutters as he stares down at the concoction wondering why he wasted his time... But he pauses before pouring it down the sink, and instead puts it in a container and keeps it on the counter. Your weight is on Wikipedia too. Taking into account your height and weight you would need about... Yeah, a very specific amount to knock you out for about three hours.

The concert day draws closer and closer and he can't sleep very well. His mind keeps running what-ifs. Just, hypothetically, what if he did go through with it? What then? What would he do long term? How would that all work out?

Well, you'd probably hate him for a while, right? But that changes. Stockholm syndrome sets in. He would know, he had to take Psych 101 back in undergrad, and the professor talked about it for a full 10 minutes, so he's basically an expert. It's been like, 7 years since then, but he still kinda remembers it. He remembers that it's supposed to set in at about 2 weeks, and solidify with time. If the captor is nice, that is, which he totally would be. ...Maybe not in bed, but most of the time. He would be nice to you, and you would start to like him. Besides, they said Stockholm syndrome set in faster if the abductor has good qualities, so, he could also reason with you, remind you that you're lucky you got abducted by someone with money - or, well, he will have money once he graduates! - and isn't some ugly gross slob. He's clean and neat. Sorta... He'll clean up all those dishes that have been sitting there a few days now, pick up all those clothes off the floor... Ok, now he's clean and neat. And, uh, what else would girls care about... He's smart. He's pretty sure he can say that with confidence, if nothing else.

Ok, so, it would work. He could... Keep you kinda... Tied up here... If you started complying within that two week period, he could get you up and walking before atrophy set in. You'd probably have to get used to the lifestyle... Right now he's kinda on a budget, but, he can get you things to keep you occupied... And so, yeah, it could work. It's simple, just keep you with him and isolated for a few weeks and uh, you'll transform into some kind of hypersexual obedient cumslut and never want to leave. That's... How Stockholm syndrome works right? Maybe he should have paid more attention in that class... Oh well. He never liked psychology.

So the day draws nearer and nearer and he starts really getting into the right... Headspace. It's a sort of manic state that he's in. Operating without really thinking, all inhibitions removed by simply refusing to think about it. He lets the subconscious take over and do all these little things to prepare, until finally that day is tomorrow. And then he kinda snaps back to full awareness and questions, again, what the hell is he doing? He can't just... Kidnap a person! Normal people don't do that... It's illegal, he'll get caught, it'll ruin his life and....

What life does he really have to ruin?

That's the thought that sort of solidifies the decision. He realizes why he's even on this path in the first place. Sure he's got a lot of academic accomplishments, but his life is... Rather empty. He doesn't really have anyone. Maybe that's why he's slowly become... Consumed by this obsession that yes, he's now willing to admit to himself is indeed an obsession. It's kinda slowly taken over his everyday life without him even noticing it was happening. He's... Kinda miserable. And very lonely. And... If nothing else... This one girl makes him feel kinda happy.

... Which is why he's going to go through with it.

And he slips back into autopilot, ends up standing outside the building. It's every bit as loud and headache-inducing as he knew it would be. Ugh. He can't wait to get out of here. If this doesn't work, well, he'll be forced to turn around. The plan is a very simple one, actually... Act like he's supposed to be there. And he does. Dresses in all black like stage technicians do, dragging his big amp case behind him, holding a bunch of cords from random things he grabbed in his house, and tries not to look nervous, keeps a neutral face and walks straight forward and... He slides right in. The security guards off to the side don't even bat an eye.

And then he has a moment of "well, I didn't expect to get this far." Pauses. So uh... what now? Well, probably should find you first. He memorized the setlist, so he knows when you'll be off... And alone. Right now there should be three of the girls backstage. It's pretty easy to find where you are, but he's paranoid that the amp case is too loud as he's dragging it around. It's necessary, though. And then, finally, he stumbles upon the room... Opens the door, half expecting to be immediately stopped, but... He can just kinda waltz right in here, some open backroom, a person here or there coming through, a lady that looks like a makeup artist doing something over there, and an actual, real tech guy over there... And over to the far back corner... Oh. That's you. He takes a moment to revel in the sight, unable to move or even breathe, and has to mentally prepare himself before moving forward. He's... Not sure exactly what to do at this point... It's kind of perfect, to be honest, there's no one around you, and you're right out of sight, where he could turn the corner and not be seen. But he's not sure how to... Approach? He thinks about it as he walks, but again, autopilot is on in his brain and he's just numbly walking forward. Does he just... Keep walking until he's right at you and just... Or...?

And a miracle happens. You hear someone coming and you turn and smile and ask are you the tech guy here to fix my mic? You point to the little microphone attached to your face. They told you someone would be coming to fix it before your next song. You presume that's him, since he's dressed in all black like all the other stage techs. He hesitates a moment, wide eyed, but then nods. Yeah, that's him, he says. His voice cracks when he says it. It's kinda cute.

You smile at him. It's wide and sweet and genuine and it almost makes him pass out on the spot. He has to swallow for a second before continuing.

But, uh, he can't do it right here he says, because fiddling with it could disrupt the uh, frequencies, cause that really shrill sound you hear sometimes. So, um, come over this way a sec, over in this dark corner of the studio conveniently out of the view of all people and security cameras. You don't know how any of that stuff works, so you trust him, it's his job after all. So you get up and straighten your little skirt out - wow those are even more revealing in person - and walk over it the dark corner where he's waiting and... it's the last thing you remember.

He does a quick look left and right to ensure no one saw you collapse in his arms, but sure enough, this area is empty. You fit into the amp case with ease. Just curl your body up and pop the lid on. Wait, can you... breathe in there? Well, it won't take long to get outside. He just rolls the case right out the door, right past the guards again, and no one stops him, no one suspects a thing. Puts the case in the backseat, opens the lid, does a quick check go make sure you're breathing alright. So he props it open by keeping a book in between the case and lid as he drives home.

Once he does get home, he just does the same thing he did before - close the lid, roll you into the elevator and up the stairs and into his place, looking back over his shoulder over and over. And once he gets you inside he just kinda... falls to his knees. Shivering. Disbelief. Because holy shit he actually did it. He actually went through with it and it worked. He sits there and stares at the case and - oh, fuck, gotta open it again for you to breathe. Actually, he might as well... take you out... when he first shoved you in, he was so high on adrenaline he didn't really process any of it, but now... he almost can't bring himself to take you out. That means he has to, like, touch you. He's gotta take a moment to mentally prepare for that. So he does. Deep breaths. And finally, with trembling hands, pulls you out, carries you on shakey legs over to the bed and sets you down.

You know, you're a lot... Smaller... Than you looked on screen. Sure, he knew your height and weight but... somehow you still seem so much smaller than he expected. That's good. Will make everything a lot easier, since you're easier to restrain. And your thighs. They're... so soft. This is so much better than the video. They're so... fleshy and warm in person. Perfect. And wow, that skirt thing is... scratchy. Actually, up close, that whole outfit thing you wear looks super uncomfortable. It probably is. ...Well, guess he now has a reason to take it off.

The rest of your skin is... also fleshy and soft. Warm. Your face... chest... stomach... everything. Your tits are really cute, too. It occurs to him that all those rabid commenters on all those boards and videos would probably kill to be him right now, pinching and squeezing at your nipples. He's seeing something they will never see. It gives him an ego boost, to be honest, makes him feel proud to get a sort of one-up on them. He gets you naked, but refrains from pulling your legs apart. He probably... wouldn't be able to control himself, and he's aiming for some self-control right now.

So he waits. Breathes deep. Restrains himself with every ounce of willpower he has. It occurs to him he has no fucking clue what he's gonna say to you. Unfortunately, that thought occurs to him as you're starting to twitch and mumble, so, he doesn't have too much time to think. Oh, fuck, you're not restrained... well, he bought some duct tape and handcuffs and blindfolds off of amazon too, so he quickly puts those in place as you're starting to wake up, and then finally, you come to full consciousness -- that telltale jerking at the restraints, the muffled little cry of confusion and fear. It's kinda hot to be honest. Well, fuck, very hot actually. You're so scared. It gives him a rush of power. Said rush goes straight to his dick.

He's got a mixed twist of guilt and arousal at the whole thing, but... he's still trying to have some self control... and if you start begging and pleading and crying, it would be too much. Oh, no, not that it would be too much in terms of guilt, no no, just that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from fucking you if he sees you cry. So he leaves the restraints on for now, so he can't see your face emote.

Then, he does something really, really mean. He knows it's cruel, honestly, it's just... so cute. What that is, is that he does nothing. Says nothing. He goes about his work, typing away, knowing you can hear, but doesn't say a word. He knows you're awake, he just wants to see how long you can sit there scared out of your mind before you finally make another noise to draw his attention. Right now, he thinks, you're probably debating, you're probably questioning whether you should keep quiet and make him think you're still out or make a noise... but eventually you will. He can see you trembling. You're probably thinking so many horrible things right now, wondering what will happen, what he'll do to you... it fills him with a sort of sadistic glee that overrides the guilt it comes along with. Sure, the guilt is there, but fuck, he could almost cum just watching you shiver, and that's more important.

And you finally make a noise. A little whimper. He stops typing, and swears he sees you tense when he does. And when he stands up, walks over to you (making sure to stomp hard and walk slow for extra effect, watching the way you curl in on yourself with each step he takes), and stops right in front of you. Finally, tells you not to scream. He's gonna give you water, ok? You nod. And, surprisingly, you don't make any move to scream or anything, you let him give it to you. You don't move a muscle besides your shaking and sucking the straw and swallowing the water. You must be really scared of him. He knows that's technically not what he should want, but... it feels nice.

He spent that time of silence coming up with what to say to you. He says that for now, you're going to stay right here. Don't ask questions. Don't make any attempt to escape. If you really need something, tap the headboard until he hears. Understand?

You're... Surprisingly receptive. You give a twitchy smile and stammer out an o-okay. He's almost pleased, but quickly realizes what you're doing.

You've been trained for this, you see. This kind of thing is attempted rather frequently in the industry. You received training for this situation - comply, don't fight, prioritize your safety, because in 99% of these cases, the missing idol is found and recovered within 48 hours. So you do what you were told to do -- smile, pretend you're ok with it, don't do anything to anger your captor.

He knows that too. He doesn't do much in that 48 hours, in fact, he even tells you he's waiting to "see what happens." He knows he can't control himself very well, so he stays in his living room for the most part and works on research, it might be pointless if he's in jail a few hours from now, but oh well. Sleeps on his couch. He offers to feed you, but you say you don't feel good. He understands.

See, in his mind, if he gets to fuck you once or twice and then be hauled off to prison and never touch you again, well, that would be actual, literal torture, so much so that never fucking you at all would be more bearable. So that's why he forces himself to wait now. He feels like he can't breathe, he's so nervous, like any moment police are going to come knocking on his door. Every little sound makes him jump. He can't sleep.

But 48 hours pass and... nothing happens.

He breathes a bit easier. Finally dares to go online, which he's been avoiding, and check on your situation... Oh, wow, social media has exploded over your disappearance. But... They have no leads. Nothing. Says she basically vanished out of thin air. Situation is, quote, "looking hopeless." Huh. He did an even better job than he thought he did. There's videos from loved ones begging the captor to let the girl go, offering to give him money even. A lot of money. But, you're more valuable than any monetary measurements could ever conceive. And he's happy. It really worked out. Everything went right, and for once, he has something that really, really makes him happy.

Likewise, the 48 hours are even more torturous for you. You start out telling yourself it'll be fine. Hopeful. But that hope in your chest slowly, gradually dies out as you realize you've hit the 48-hour mark. Even for a normal missing person, you've always heard that if they don't find them within 48 hours... the chances of ever finding them goes down significantly. But, that's because they're usually dead, right? And this guy won't kill you, so, your chances are better, right...?

He comes back after that 48 hours and finally, for the first time since you woke up, crawls onto the bed, touches you, grabs your hips with his hands. Tells you that, well, they haven't found anything yet and it looks like they aren't going to, so you're officially his now, and he's no longer worried. You should accept it. It'll make things easier for both of you if you do. You'll get adjusted in no time, you'll see.

Unsurprisingly, you're a bit less compliant than you were when you had hope. You whimper and and struggle, but it's really weak. So much so it's cute. You ask who he is. No one important, he says. Just... A fan of yours. You can hear clothes shuffling. He doesn't waste time, he's already waited two whole days suffering, so he gets his dick in you pretty quickly. Manages to make you cum. It horrifies you and kinda surprises him too to be honest. You must kinda like pain, huh. Well, that works out well.

As time goes on, what hope you had left dies completely. Weeks pass. You realize they're not coming for you. In an attempt to get you to accept it, he even shows you that you've been replaced. They're rather quick to fix the absence. They have a new girl in your spot by the end of the month. He quickly realizes maybe he shouldn't have told you, from the way your face falls and you get all hysterical. Sorry. It's the way the industry is. Don't worry. She's not even half as cute as you.

He shows you the announcement when they close the investigation, too. This also earns a rather hysterical response, but he thinks it's important you see it, so you can finally come to terms with your fate, the way things were always meant to turn out. He gets a bit frustrated. Just accept it. It's not that hard. The sooner you do, the happier you'll be. It's for your own good that you accept it.

And you do. Try as you might. You begin to make conversation. He's the only source of interaction you have. You learn about him and his life. You become invested in it. You start to cum more easily. When he's sitting on the opposite side of the bed typing away, you find yourself slowly wiggling your way over and pressing yourself against the warmth, and he certainly doesn't mind. You ask him about his research just to hear a voice talk.

And sometimes you sing. It's absent minded, soft and quiet, when you have nothing else to do. He likes that a lot. You get sweeter. Nicer. Fight less. It does take a bit longer than two weeks to set in fully. But it does in the end.

He can't be with you 24/7, as much as he would like to be, so sometimes he has to tell you to just hang on a little while. Be good and sit still for just a bit. He'll be back soon. Just give him an hour. You're just really distracting and, well, his progress report is due tomorrow morning.

And you keep getting upset over the new member, bring it up a lot... It must have really bothered you, huh. Well, don't feel bad about being replaced. To him, nothing could ever replace you... you're still his favorite.

#.al #.idol

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tired-beholding-bitch · 2 years

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Hey! I've been looking for new TMA fics to read and I was wondering if you have any recs? Or even fics that you swear up and down are the best of the best? Angst, fluff, anything works! Thanks!!!

ooof sorry it took me a while to get back to you, this was a Request ahdkddfj

be aware that I’m pretty new here still and have not read as much as most, so mainly my recs are compiled from what other people have sent my way (in case you find them all under the tag “fic rec” if you wanna take a look at those as well!), which means there are quite a few fics in here that you probably already read because like. most people probably already read them y’know. however they’re very much still worth recommending.

and that’s why i divided this into three parts so you can peruse at leisure, after all I’m nothing if not efficient. ✨

(spoiler: this fic rec is actually not efficient in the least it’s kind of a mess 🙃 there are literally so many more fics I love that aren’t here but I tried to mix and match a bit of everything!)

wips

I realised I have exclusively recced completed fics before - probably because I don’t read many wips in general HOWEVER I do like to keep up with fandom comings and goings and since you asked for some new fics, wips seem fitting as well! these are all the ones I’m currently following:

| northwest 6 to gale 8. rain. poor, occasionally good. (by chewsdaychillin) - ~17k (4/?), hand-wavey timeline AU in which Jon isn’t in a coma when Martin’s mother passes and he helps him through it, angsty but so unbelievably sweet. this fic fills me with a tenderness that I cannot put into words, it’s so well-written and so delicately beautiful and yet it does not shy away from the harder parts of grief it’s breathtaking. beware the cws for this one because the themes get kind of heavy but. it’s so worth it.

| Time to spin a web of his own (by merperson1) - ~5k (2/4), a web!Martin fic!!! it’s so lovely!!! I scream about this fic on here every time there’s an update but. let me just do it some more it’s just so genuinely good and the characterisation for them is one of my absolute favourites in general, it’s fantastic.

| And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) (by arthureameslove) - ~29k, ongoing series, this is a superhero sidekick au that brings me an unordinate amount of happiness with every update. I smile like a fool for two days following every new part it’s so precious and the writing is fantastic as well, super cute, definitely give it a read if you haven’t yet!

| where you’ve been stuck and where you’re going (by confused_android) - ~23k (3/6), a coffeeshop/android!au which. there was not a chance in hell i wouldn’t read this because it combines perfectly two guilty-pleasure tropes of mine and let me tell you I do not regret a thing. this is wonderfully written, the world-building and the premise are super interesting, and it’s so sweet. just. I love this fic with my whole heart.

| One for the Memory (by LadyNikita) - ~46k (7/12), time-travel fix-it fic!!! likewise a fic I scream about every single time there’s an update because GOD the feelings. it’s beautifully written and the concept behind the time-travel dynamics is so cool, this story gives me life even while I suffer

completed longfics

| Knowledge is Power (but Love won’t Hurt) (by SupposedToBeWriting) - ~156k (31/31), this is a No Powers But Yes Leitners AU and it’s the fic you don’t know you need until you get it and it’s everything you wanted and more. Jon has a daughter and works at a library, the writing is DELIGHTFUL, features a healthy dose of Gerry as well, I’m sure it’s unlikely you haven’t read this but. worth re-reading multiple times anyways I sure did.

| Kith and Kin, Hearth and Home (by Ostentenacity) - ~21k (7/7), the premise of this is that after the Great Elopement Proposition of mag 154 Jon decides to blind himself anyways and ends up in another coma so. mind the tags on this one. it is however wonderfully written, and features mostly a ton of Daisy/Martin friendship as they bond over being kind of a mess and caring about one (1) idiot and it’s just. so sweet. so tender. i love this fic so much

| rewind. play. eject. (by boredshyandbi) - ~40k (7/7), time-travel/groundhog day fix-it, I do have a soft spot for time loops but GOD this story is everything. “please give this poor man a break” is a tag and it’s really accurate but it’s. yes. yes just read it if you haven��t trust me. I have so many feelings about it it’s unreal

| Full, Riotous Bloom (by BigTed) - ~67k (13/13), s2-ish Hanahaki AU, do I even need to recommend this? I don’t know but you bet I am, this is the best Hanahaki I have read of anything ever and I’m a simp for it so I’ve read. a lot of it. a Classic, this makes me want to scream no matter how many times I re-read it, the writing is so beautiful as well it’s just. GOD THIS FIC it makes me go feral

| Ninety Feet to Home (by acethetically/judesstfrancis) - ~33k, as it’s been presented to me: the baseball au fic, I said it before and I’ll say it again you won’t expect to get so invested in a sport you know absolutely nothing about but you will, this is such an adorable fic I was losing my shit for the entirety of reading it. excellent 10/10 it’s a safe bet.

completed one-shots/short multichapters

| thing’ll be going my way after today (by Did) - ~5k, completed series, this is a lovely little series with trans!jonmartin and it focuses especially on Martin’s experience and it’s just. incredibly sweet and cute, it’s just an adorable read and a bit more lighthearted than some of the others on this rec!

| let’s get married (i don’t wanna walk alone) (by booksandchocolatecake) - ~4k, Upton House fic that made me cry actual tears, definitely putting it on here because it seems a little lesser known and it’s a PITY alright, this is adorable and bittersweet and just. a lovely read it needs more love

| Homecoming (by BigTed) - ~3k, post-canon, this has been recommended to me as a mend-your-heart kind of fic and I read it for the first time two hours after listening to mag 200 so I’m incredibly emotionally attached to it and I will share it til the day I drop dead, it’s a must-read, absolutely wonderful

| and they keep not letting go (by rainny_days) - ~9k, Scottish Safehouse period series, these are some of my faves safehouse fics!!! love them so much, this series is so sweet and it has some great moments, it was one of the first safehouse ones I read and it really stuck with me!

| creatures of habit (by Ostentenacity) - ~8k, a lovely daemon AU series! since earlier this evening I have in fact been violently reminded I’m obsessed with daemon AUs it seemed fitting to recommend this one because it’s really great, it has some amazing concepts and premises and it’s just all in all a great combo of sweet and angsty

| Inseparable (by voiceless_terror) - ~10k, I read childhood friends AU and I’m gone alright. so this is exactly what happened with this fic and I do not regret anything I keep this so close to my heart, it’s so well-written, the pacing is fantastic and it’s also overall just. the sweetest thing. a bit sad but the sweetest thing nonetheless it makes me so happy.

| hold (by lipsstainedbloodred) - ~1.8k, I cry every time I read this. that’s it that’s my comment for this. cathartic.

it ended up being more of a “tired’s favourites” rec but! hope you’ll enjoy these! <3

#tired answers #tired recs #tma #fic rec #monday recs for the soul #what better than some good fucking fics to start the week am i right #and these are all absolutely WONDERFUL many thanks to everyone featured they give me so much joy #usual disclaimer if you'd like to be mentioned by your tumblr @ just hmu! probably either didn't know it/wasn't sure if you'd like the tag #but yeah it's easily fixed <3 #thanks again for the request i love doing fic recs!#can you tell i find one author i like and proceed to read everything they've ever written #yes it's a lifestyle #god i have so many more in my to-be-read list and just. so many more in general to go through this doesn't even begin to cover it #i tried to limit myself also so. yeah #eventually i'll manage to make proper themed ones so i dont feel quite so much like i'm floundering

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haknew · 3 years

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hey jess! i'm a new deobi as well (different from the last one) and was wondering if you had any recommendations for shows to get to know tbz better? thank you!

hey anon! sorry for the late response omg i wanted to have enough free time to properly compile videos for you ! tbz have a lot of stuff but i’ll link you some of my favorites ^^ (+ a lil desc. so you can decide if you wanna watch !)

flower snack - few days until debut ? fck it let’s open a restaurant ! ~ this is pretty typical of your predebut shows but i think you get to see a lot of tbz’s chemistry and teamwork esp early on and the cringey embarrassing moments that will be immortalized on the internet forever to haunt them LOL

THE 100 [ep. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24] - force 12 boyz into a house and tell them they’re doing a concert ! ~ this is my personal favorite ! the haknew in this *chef’s kiss* but also you get to see a big chunk of their more domestic side / daily life and get to learn about their personalities really well ! it’s a good mix of fun and sentimental i think :’) but you really get to see their individual talents better too !

come on ! the boyz - idk how to describe this they just do dumb stuff <3 ~ probably the most digestible it’s also more like your average variety show where they play games and compete for a “prize” lmao this one is also very good at introducing their personalities i feel

come on ! the boyz summer rpg - the boyz go on vacation ... kinda ? ~ summer fun in the sun ! domestic tbz part 2 u.u they just have fun trying not to kill each other i mean to do stuff while on vacation together :p it’s funny (close 2nd fav *v*) also somewhat cheesy and feel good if you like that stuff :D

tbz play mafia ! [ 1, 2, reveal vers., chase vers.] - tbz play mafia ! ~ this should really be called tbz kill chanhee first THEN play mafia ... okay but the first two are iconic but i personally love reveal era’s mafia game :,))) so many betrayals, -100 IQ plays, and chaos they bring me so much joy u.u i honestly recommend the whole the play series but it’s a lot so only if you wanna ^~^ !

generation z - “we wanna be honest in our voice” ~ the most iconic ! the identity film followed by each of the member interviews i feel is the most ... genuine ? or raw content on how tbz feel about themselves, their personalities, and insecurities >.< i think if anything it might be the most significant recommendation on this list ahhh ! ;-;/

this is getting long so i’ll leave it here ! there’s a few more honorable mentions / personal favs i’ll leave under the cut ! i hope this helps anon ! <3

come on ! the boyz in ny - tbz being chaotic in the big apple

the boyz school - tbz teach ... random lessons like how to take a selfie and embarrass themselves

a to boyz covers - still ongoing ! but a very good showcase of their individual colors !

rtk stages - i lit rally h8 kingdom but you can tell how much heart and soul they poured into each of these,,, esp when you watch their behind videos for them as well [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

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dropofgoldensun · 3 years

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omg hiiiii i am here from cat (@luvdsc) wondering if you could offer any advice about college apps 🙏 especially about the uc piqs? thank you so much i hope ur doing well!!!!!!!!

yes yes hello friend !! 💝 miss cat directed you to me because i did my college apps last year !!! (yikes one year passed already?? why does that feel ages ago 🤧)

first of all, congratulations on making the decision to apply to college !! i know it’s been hard for a lot of people our age to figure out the college situation recently, so i’m proud of you for choosing to take the extra step this summer to buckle up and write those essays 💞

i’ve compiled a few tips on answering the PIQs (i was actually in the middle of typing this up when i received your ask haha), but some of them can be applied to other essays, as well !! they’re all under the cut (because, unfortunately, being brief is not my forte) 😊

(and for reference, the prompts i chose were #2 (creativity), #6 (subject), #7 (community), and #8 (anything) !!)

tip #1: understand the prompt.

before you even begin writing, it’s important to understand what the question is really asking. for the UC PIQs, this will look different depending on which four prompts you decide to do.

in question one, for example, they want to know about your skills in leading others, but notice that they’re also curious about your resolution abilities and teamwork experience. or in question two, they don’t want to know that you paint and that you love painting—they could be asking how resourceful you are, how you think outside the box when you have an idea.

once you know the question you’re going to be answering, you can move on to brainstorming!

tip #2: write down three (3) key takeaways.

these are like the most basic, not-even-a-sentence answers you would give to each question. so for me, in response to question eight (“what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for the UCs?”), my answers were perseverance, courage, and character. i had a story about that, so i wrote about my experience with martial arts.

i recommend you do something similar. decide on three things that you want to communicate to your audience, and write them in the footnote of your document. your goal is to cover all three points so that, if anyone were to read your essay, they would walk away understanding those three things about you.

i found this strategy really helpful for keeping my essay streamlined while writing—if a sentence didn’t relate to any of those main points, i would cut it since those words would take up valuable space in the word count. stay focused on what needs to be in this essay, and if you have extra words left in the word count later, you can add those details back in.

and once you’re done with your essay, make sure to refer back to your takeaways and check that you covered all of them sufficiently!

tip #3: highlight your stories.

i sent cat an ask a couple days ago with a few pictures of my response to an end-of-year college counseling survey that referenced this tip (you can find it here). basically i said that, when choosing what topics to write about, pick things that interest you! if you get excited talking about it, your audience should get excited about reading it, because they’ll pick up on the passions you have and then everyone’s excited !!! :D

i’ll tell you a secret: everyone you meet, everyone you see, has countless unique experiences that few others may have. me? i spend hours making mashups out of kpop songs. i earned my black belt years after a traumatizing experience during training. i get russian harry potter and spanish dr. seuss books from the library. and i created a collaborative online google photos album for my classmates that now has thousands of entries. although these aren’t necessarily unique to only me, they’re still special enough to the point where, when you put them all together, you get a better image of the person i am, and what i value.

so find a story, a habit, a hobby that makes you different, because i believe that everyone has them. give them some food for thought, or that one-liner that sticks in their brain and won’t go away. and remember: these stories don’t all have to be extraordinary—they should be about people or moments of special value to you, because that’s what matters.

personal tip: when i was brainstorming ideas, i decided that the best way to get ideas out there was to go on a rant (because sometimes it helps to just have a conversation with yourself !!) and i recorded myself, so i could replay what i said !! this was so so crucial to me finding my own voice for writing essays. notice the way you word things when you talk—a good line or two may make it into the final draft :)

i found it helpful to read sample essays as well! they give a lot of great ideas on the kinds of topics people write about. (also, it’s kind of fun, because who doesn’t love a good story?)

but the people reading your essay won’t be there to just enjoy your story; what they really want you to do is to tell them what you learned from your experience. they want to know whether you’re teachable and willing to grow both as a student and as a young adult. so make sure to take note of the life lessons you learned, experience you gained, character you built, etc.

minor tip on ending your essay: if you’re telling a story that happened in the past, then close with what you learned and how you can apply that to your life moving forward. if you’re telling a story that has no definite end yet (like a passion or dream you have), you probably don’t have everything figured out (and you can say that in your essay!), so it might be better to close with your hopes for the future.

tip #4: ask your family for help.

peer-editing is one of the most effective ways to detect errors and inconsistencies in your writing, because, after staring at your essay for so long, you might gloss over glaring contradictions. for all of my essays, i printed them out and asked my parents to help me revise them. we’d meet every other night (or every night, depending on how much time was left) to review and discuss improvements.

i actually kept some of those printed drafts (only the first and the final ones for comparison), and let me tell you from experience—you’re probably going to have a lot of drafts (i think the most i did was seven? but you don’t need to go that far!). this part of the process does take some time, so remember to be patient and kind to yourself :) these essays won’t happen overnight!

enlisting the help of others also helps keep you accountable. one of the struggles many seniors face while writing essays is just... setting aside time to do them. and even though the constant reminders from your parents will definitely get repetitive and a bit stress-inducing, i can tell you from personal experience that i’m so glad they did; otherwise, i don’t think i’d have my essays done in time :’)

while writing college essays is challenging, your family will be there supporting you each step of the way. chances are that they’ll have their own pointers to pass on to you, since they probably remember doing this process themselves! and, out of everyone in your life, they probably remember the most about you (because you probably don’t remember much when you were four or five), so they might have a couple starter ideas for topics when brainstorming. you can rely on them for their advice and their experience.

tip #5: self-editing.

here’s the part that takes the longest time.

use action words. this is probably something you’ve heard all throughout elementary school where they didn’t like you to say “said” because it was “boring”… but honestly, the difference between “doing my own version” and “infusing it with my personality” could go a long way. also, use words that you would actually use in an essay—then it’ll have your own special flair, and not sound like it’s taken from some stuffy 80s textbook!

here are some of the words i used (once again, you shouldn’t use these words if they don’t sound like something you’d write/say): potential, overlay, wrestle, launch, analogous, weave, infuse, experiment, outlet, revel, fascinate, satisfaction, pursue, expand, distinction, capture, range, archive, engage, beyond, build, adversity, cultivate, preserve, commit, explore, convey, naturally

also, be on the lookout for repeated words. i once wrote an essay without noticing that i used “hope” three times in the same paragraph. don’t do that! use synonyms :) personally, i tended to run short on synonyms, so i always kept a tab or two open on my computer reserved for searching up new words.

side note: unfortunately, during my search for synonyms, i discovered that thesaurus.com just didn’t give me what i was looking for. i highly recommend using wordhippo instead; it has so many more options and they’re grouped by the different definitions of your word! i found the synonyms i needed really quickly and it was very satisfying!

avoid the passive voice! my teacher gave me this tip for theses or any other college-level writing. here’s an example of the passive voice: “there was a large part of me that wanted to turn back.” that’s twelve words taking up precious space in your word count! instead, say something like, “i considered turning back.” you’ve just freed up eight words :)

tip #6: final revisions.

this is the step where you fine-tune your essays. meet that word count.

read your writing out loud. does it sound like you? it should. every writer has a different voice, and you need to ensure that yours is pervasive throughout your essay. feel free to use contractions—not only do they reduce your word count (this was a good thing for me, since i had a problem with getting under 350 words), but they also give a more casual tone to your essay, as if you’re telling a story to someone in the room.

next, pretend to be an admissions officer and have someone else read your essay to you. do you get excited hearing about this student who shares your name? if you do, there’s a good chance the real admissions officers will love your essays, too. this also gives you a chance to review to your essay as a whole. pay attention to the overall flow. is there a clear beginning and end? do you resolve the issues and overcome the trials you brought up? listen to it as if it’s a story, and take this time to enjoy what you’ve written. you worked hard!

final thoughts / encouragements.

oh my goodness, did we make it to the end? honestly if you did, thank you so much 🥺

okay but despite my relatively optimistic tone throughout this post, i’m still going to be honest with you—the college essay writing process is difficult. it requires you to look inside yourself and analyze the “why” behind some of the things that you love, and that isn’t easy to do at all. it’s intellectually and emotionally challenging, because not only do you need to use so much energy writing, but you also have to dig deeper to understand yourself, and that’s not easy, either.

but i wanted to encourage you, too. no matter what you may think of yourself at 12am, 2am, 4am writing these essays, believe you have a personality that others love and will love when they meet you. you are an interesting person with unique experiences who deserves to share your thoughts with others. you have so many people behind you, supporting you during these next few months. and when you find that you can’t write any more, remember to take time to care for yourself. have a warm shower. go to bed early. i could go on and on about why sleep is good for your brain but i’ll spare you the details in this post 😉

one last thing: keep the bigger picture in focus. remember, by december or january, you will be finished with most of the application process. that’s no small accomplishment. you can do it. 💝

i really hope you found tips that you were looking for, and that they’re applicable to your own PIQs and other essays !! if you have any other questions, feel free to send in another ask (i promise my response won’t be this lengthy LOL) 💘💓

oh, and if you feel comfortable enough reaching out about anything in particular, i’m only a DM away 💕 i wish you the best of luck on writing your essays and i hope you enjoy your final year of high school !! 💗🌸💟💖

#asks #college tips

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agape-28 · 2 years

Note

tell me about your larrie story dear ☕ luv u

hihi, yes i will! ❤️❤️ love u too

so i was never a directioner when the band was together. i was younger than their target demographic, and even then, i had almost no interest in teen pop culture. if you had shown me a photo of one direction i could probably identify only harry and zayn. i also knew there was a liam in the group (because my brother's name is liam), but i didn't know what he looked like. and i didn't know anything about louis or niall.

but somewhere along the way, i caught wind of larry. and i had pretty anti-tendencies, because i immediately bought the "OMG their crazy fans ruined their friendship!!!!11!!1" nonsense, and sometimes i'd even fight larries in youtube comment sections. like i distinctly remember purposely clicking a video where louis talks about F and seeing comments saying F wasn't his kid, and immediately fighting them. i wasn't a deranged anti, but i was very against it overall.

(more under the cut, this got very long i'm sorry!!!!)

everything changed when may 2021 attacked. yes, it's recent and yes, i'm being dramatic. a lot of things happened all at once, so here we go!

1) i decided to look up The Story by Conan Gray. i clicked on the lyric video on YouTube, and there were literally sooo many larrie comments. i was like wtf?? why are there so many deluded people here? (i still think they're deluded btw, but for different reasons. they were all twarries).

2) i can't remember the exact context but i also decided to search on YouTube for I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. and, well, we all know that's one of our larrie anthems. so again, i was baffled by the amount of people who "believed in this larry crap" in the comments.

3) my friend's birthday was coming up, and i wanted to play a song for her on my guitar. my friend used to be a harrie (she's actually tagged here as 'my anti bff'), and i even remember her sending me a couple of his songs from HS1 back when it released. back then i didn't have spotify, so the only songs of his i had on my phone were Woman and From The Dining Table. so at this point i was like, vaguely aware of his music. so i decided to go through his songs on YouTube for a good song to learn. lo and behold, i click on sweet creature — and the comments were flooded with larries.

so these three things made me wonder — damn, there's a lot of larries still kicking around, huh? and i would've left it at that, but my traitorous brain made me keep thinking about it. like, hmm, i wonder what is it about larry that still makes people think they're together.

thus, i started tentatively searching larry on Twitter and Tiktok. then my YouTube started recommending me larry compilations.

it still took a long time to convince me larry was real, and an even longer time to convince me that they were still together still going stroooong. but that's basically how i started my descent into madness!

(also i became a louis fan during afhf in case anyone was wondering)

hope that didn't bore you anything... i just have a lot of ✨ feelings ✨

#origin stories #answered #leo 🦁

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earstwo · 4 years

Photo

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I hit 7k recently after losing almost 1.5k followers when I converted to a Reylo blog (not sorry in the slightest) and decided it was time to finally compile some of the INCREDIBLE fanfics that I’ve read since joining the fandom in December.

I’m constantly impressed by the talent around here and I'm so grateful to love a ship that has some of the most amazing content I’ve ever seen. The creators in this fandom are second to none. I’m so thankful for all they do and all that they give to us.

Please keep never stop sharing your gifts. <3

**Note: Most (pretty much all) of these are rated E.

Without further ado, here are (some of) my favorite stories:

The Jedi Path by SouthsideStory | 19k | E | I am such a sucker for Jedi Academy Ben and Rey. It’s everything I never knew I needed, and this fic is a beautiful rendition. If you know me at all, you know that I devour Angst with a Happy Ending stories, and this is no exception to that rule.

Exile by Ernzo | 22k | E | Oof. This one hurts. Leia sends Rey to the planet where Ben is exiled. It’s angsty and sad and cathartic in every way. I’ve read it dozens of times.

Before the Saber Swings by @waterlilyrose | 28k | M | Fuck. When I tell y’all that this story fucked me up, I mean it from the bottom of my s o u l. It stayed with me for days. I literally couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt so real to me that I was in physical pain while reading it. I also made an AU gifset of the fic with a quote from Buffy because I’m extra and love pain.

penitence by @bettsfic | 16k | M | Look, Betts is one of my favorite fanfiction authors of all time. Her Bellarke works are some that I’ve read dozens of times and I was fucking ecstatic when I found out she also writes Reylo. This is an A+ TROS fix-it that is lovely and soft and sweet.

The Writings of Ben Solo by BurnedStars777 | 39k | E | This was recced to me by the fabulous @galacticidiots and is just a fantastic story all around. Rey finds Ben’s journal whilst stuck on a planet with Kylo Ren and she (eventually) connects the dots. Rey falling in love with Ben sight unseen? Here. For. it. find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel by again_please | 17k | E | A fantastic post-TLJ story with angsty and broody Ben and just some all around quality smut. I devoured this and have read it multiple time since.

We Could Plant a House, We Could Build a Tree by @likeadove | 124k | E | I will probably never stop reading this fic. It’s such a beautiful coming of age story for Rey and her relationship with Ben as she grows up is just... gah. It’s fantastic. Please read it.

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth | 205k | E | Soulmates AU where Ben is Rey’s teacher? Sign me the fuuuuck up, and Soul Searching is so fucking well written. I go back to this one every few weeks and just gush at how great the world building is. I love the relationship Rey has with Leia and Han. It’s rich with love and angst and fluffffff. So good.

Coveted by OptimisticBeth | 82k | E | WIP | OptimisticBeth is just an incredible writer, so you should honestly read all of her stuff, but I am so, so, so into this fic. It’s A/B/O and Ben’s Rey’s pack leader. He, along with a bunch of other Alphas are trying to court Rey, a highly desired Omega. It’s so fucking delicious, y’all. Alpha Ben Solo is just...it doesn’t get much better.

A Treehouse Covered in Salt by violethoure666 | 34k | E | This fic made me cry my eyes out. I’m not kidding. It’s so raw and real. It hurts to read at some points, but you care so much about Ben and Rey in this that you fight through the pain. They grow up together as neighbors and Han builds them a treehouse where they meet throughout their childhoods/teen years. Prepare to cry but also be so fulfilled and satisfied. It’s wonderful. love it when you call me lover by @kylotrashforever | 66k | E | WIP | First, let me say that anything by KTF is going to be gold. These fics I have listed are just a few of my favorites at the moment. Lover is hot as fuck (as is all of her stuff) but also fluffy in the best way. It’s in Sadsville right now so I’m fucking PUMPED for her to update. Ben’s a doctor who basically gives Rey a sexual awakening when he proves her statement of “I just don’t think I can come from (insert sexual act here)” very, very wrong.

mountain at my gates by @kylotrashforever | 26k | E | More A/B/O goodness. Omega Rey’s car breaks down on a mountain. Ben is a mountain man Alpha. You can probably guess what happens from there. *fans self*

take me to church by @kylotrashforever | 26k | E | I love this story so much. Ben is the pastor’s son at the church Rey grows up in. They start hooking up in secret and are terrrrrrible at communicating with each other which leads to angst. But it’s so sweet and soft while also being super hot. I love this Ben and Rey so much.

Your Pretty Little Heart by @ever-so-reylo | 64k | E | The A/B/O Reylo bible, I feel like. They’re doctors and he’s a grumpy as fuck Alpha. Shenanigans ensue. And by shenanigans I mean a lot, a lot, a LOT of sex.

The Food of Love by @lovesbitca8 | 60k | E | Y’all. If you haven’t read this yet, please stop what you’re doing and read it RIGHT NOW. I ate this fic up in one sitting because holy SHIT it’s amazing. It’s so well written and the story is just... absolutely exquisite. Ben is cellist that’s also a famous rockstar and Rey’s an up and coming violinist and they fall in loOOoOOve in the best, most angsty, sexiest way. Please just read it right now. The scene when she firsts goes to his apartment and plays one of his cellos............you guys. It’s a lot.

Already Home by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 81k | E | This is soulmates + A/B/O so naturally I am obsessed with it. Rey gets connected with her soulmate via a website and he’s going by the name Kylo Ren. At the same time, she’s also moving in with grumpy librarian Ben Solo. She falls in love with both but has no idea that they’re the same person. It’s INCREDIBLE.

Tangled but Unbroken by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 20k | M | I read this the other night and it’s so fucking soft. I am such a fucking sucker for growing up together fics and this is just such top quality. The braiding kills me every goddamn time. Also, I’m making my way through all of Attack’s works right now and they’re all incredible. Highly recommend.

Dear Mr. President by @shmisolo | 89k | E | I love this Ben so much. The characterization is so on the money. The angst is absolutely delicious. The smut is top brass. Oh, and did I mention they’re soulmates? It’s everything you need, I promise.

Good Day, Professor by @faequeentitania | 38k | E | One of the best Professor Solo fics out there. I’m such a sucker for age difference fics. Of course there’s angst, who do you think I am?

Embers by sciosophia | 34k | E | Breaking up/getting back together fics are some of my favorites and this one is fantastic. The pining with these two is ridiculous. You just want to smush their faces together. It’s a beautiful love story.

Reclaimed by @bettsfic | 14k | E | Ughhhhhhhhhh, Reclaimed. I am so in love with Reclaimed. Alpha Ben adopts Omega Rey after she’s rescued from this terrible Alpha that held her captive for most of her life. She doesn’t talk and Ben has to help her learn to be a human being and not just a subservient Omega. This Ben is the Ben of my dreams. No contest.

the following are all written by @kylorenvevo. please read them all if you haven’t already.

landscape with a blur of conquerers | 362k | E | Y’all know this shit is fire. It’s basically the bible. If you haven’t read this yet, consider this as me yelling at you to do it NOW.

like young gods | 84k | T | fuck, the Sword of the Jedi series is incomparable when it comes to in-universe fics. I cannot begin to express how much I love this story. It’s so soft and intense and sad. Like, gut wrenchingly sad. Ben senses Rey on Jakku when she’s six and he and Luke take her back to the Jedi Academy. She grows up with Ben.

to kingdom come | 145k | M | The sequel to Like Young Gods. I’m not gonna spoil much here, but just know I cried through most of this fic. I downright SOBBED at the end. It’s gorgeous and I will never stop rereading it. The love these two have for each other... it’s unreal.

i kill giants | 34k | E | WIP | The TROS fix-it we all need. Ben is alive and finds Rey on Tatooine. It’s soft and Thea does a great job of soothing so many of the gaping wounds we were left with after TROS. My heart soars every time I read a new chapter. This is what we deserved. :(

the heartbreak prince | 58k | E | WIP | Harry Potter AU. Professor/student. Size kink. Virginity kink. ANGST. All the good things life has to offer. Professor Solo is fucking filthy in this and I (along with Miss Niima) am here 👏 for 👏 it.

place the moon at my eyes (and her whiteness shall devour) | 29k | E | Another breakup/get back together fic that I absolutely adore.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Thank you to everyone that’s been so kind and welcoming to me the past couple of months! I love this fandom and its energy and enthusiasm and how much everyone seems to care for each other. I hope that I can continue to create content for you forever <3

#reylo fic rec #reylo #reylo fanfiction #reylo fic masterlist #follower celebration #reylo fic #reylo ff #reylo fanfiction rec

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roselightfairy · 3 years

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Fic Recs: L/G and Thranduil

@enide-s-dear and @katajainen both requested this list – something with Thranduil not being, to quote Enide, “a huge racist bitch.” I tend to seek out good-Thranduil fics when I can, so I’m happy to compile this list! Again, obligatory reminder that this list is not exhaustive and only the fics that I can think of in the time of compilation: I know there is other great stuff out there!

...

A matter of pride by Enide_Dear

Summary: Gimli gets abducted by bandits when visiting Mirkwood. Thranduil does not take lightly on the hospitality and protection of his kingdom getting violated. That is all the lies behind his slight overreactions.

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My favorite Thranduil-Gimli relationship dynamic, without question, is when they both cling to the pretense of disliking each other but secretly everyone knows they actually like each other a lot, and this fic delivers. I have a known soft spot for damsel!Gimli and berserker!Legolas, which both play in this story, but Thranduil is the real star, and I love him dearly.

I Walked With You (Once Upon A Dream) by The_Dwelf

Summary: Kori is just a regular Dwarf, except, he isn't. He is Gimli's reicarnation, he has been dreaming of his past life since he was a child, and now that he's old enough to leave Erebor, he's certain of his condition. With unexpected help from a very shocked Elvenking, he will find a way to rejoin Legolas, at any costs. Angst, fluff, porn and (spoiler?) a happy ending.

…

I’m recommending this fic for so much more than just the reclist prompt – it’s a wonderful reincarnation AU complete with fluff, angst, delicious hurt/comfort, and just a little smut, for spice. But Thranduil is amazing – and in fact the driver of the plot here, the one trying his hardest to reunite the two lovers – no matter what he has to do in the process.

Northern Babylon by icarus_chained

Summary: After four years fighting the war in the south, Gimli and Legolas have come back to their home city of New Rhovanion changed, and perhaps for the better. Gimli tries to make Elven Councillor Thranduil understand this, and understand that maybe there's hope for more than just Gimli and Legolas as well.

…

So I love this fic for the combination steampunk/solarpunk setting (I might be wrong about those things; I don’t really know aesthetics) and the AU just a tilt off from canon but still following the same general trajectory – the worldbuilding is amazing and I wish there were 100k of it. But this fic as it is is amazing – a serious, hopeful, painful conversation between Gimli and Thranduil in which Thranduil’s history and trauma is palpable to the reader even if we don’t know much about how it would have played out in this story. And a conversation in which they come around to grudging respect for one another.

INSIDE THE STONE by rubyelf

Summary: As close as the elf and dwarf have become, Legolas always seems to keep his secrets. A dangerous encounter while traveling in Mirkwood gives Gimli a chance to have his questions answered... if he wants to.

...

This is one of my favorite specific tropes - Legolas and Gimli are returning to someone’s home, and one of them is injured. This time it’s Legolas in Mirkwood, and the process of healing leads to some...revelations. Of a sexual nature. Read for a particular characterization of Legolas and a Thranduil who doesn’t quite get his son but cares nonetheless, and thinks Gimli is good for him. :) Do mind the tags, though; the consent is . . . it doesn’t cross the line to dubcon for me, but it isn’t perfectly straightforward, either.

Precious Childhood Memories by Enide_Dear

Summary: Thranduil and Glóin find they have certains things in common, such as an appreciation for fine gems, fine drink and the finely tuned fatherly mortification of their offspring

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This fic. This! Fic! I couldn’t decide whether to put it on the funny list, the Thranduil list, or the meet-the-family list, but I finally decided on this one just because – way to smash the trope of Thranduil and Glóin making the single exception to elf- or dwarf-hatred and instead let them bond over their sons’ misery. It will have you howling.

Love and Fear by ginogollum, starlightwalking

Summary: Legolas rescued Gimli from an orc attack years before they were officially introduced. Gimli remembers every moment of their first meeting. Legolas...doesn't.

…

This is not really about Thranduil, per se – it’s more about a delightful reimagining of Legolas and Gimli and the situations in which they might have seen one another before the Quest – and about the delightful sweetness and powerful emotion of them coming to know and to love one another for real. But Thranduil makes an appearance here and there, as a cordial enough king and a deeply loving father, which is my favorite way to have him. <3

Father, Captain, and King by Thundera Tiger

Summary: Thranduil fills many roles, but one summer night, he finds himself assuming the role he loves best and gets least. Written for father's day, here's a quick look at the relationship between Mirkwood's greatest king and its most famous prince.

…

So this isn’t Legolas/Gimli. In fact, Gimli doesn’t appear at all – and thus this fic doesn’t really deal with Thranduil’s prejudices, or lack thereof. But I had to include it because it’s one of my favorite Legolas-and-Thranduil fics out there – a really deep, complicated exploration of what living in an ongoing siege does by necessity to relationships, and the ways that love and care persist through these struggles – even if they do have to grow a little twisted. I recommend all of Thundera Tiger’s fic, but any pre-series Mirkwood fic deals with this same thing in such loving nuance.

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If you liked any of these fics, please let the author know with a comment if you have capacity! Also, I encourage you to reblog this list so that we can spread the good word. :)

#fic rec #my fic recs #legolas x gimli #thranduil

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tranquilpetrichor · 2 years

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*✧･ﾟ:* P1ece Tag Game *✧･ﾟ:*

tagged by @choitaeyang ! Thank you for tagging me once again!

(this one got long)

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

1. Since when have you been a P1ece?

I did hear about them predebut, but around debut day was when I officially stanned.

2. What made you decide to stan P1H?

I saw a P1ece who compiled a bit of their vlives, and they were quite funny and had good chemistry. I was also amazed by their dancing as well, which I'm glad they got to showcase. Also, I kinda heard Jongseob was debuting? I had binge-watched YG Treasure Box months prior in preparation for Treasure's debut and had wondered about what a lot of the trainees were doing now. Glad he's here now!

3. Who is/are your bias(es)? Is your first bias still your current bias? If not, who was it before that?

Keeho. I don't really change biases, yes it's still Keeho.

4. Your favourite era so far?

Disharmony : Stand Out aka Siren era because classic!

5. Your favourite title track/MV?

Siren in terms of music, although I have to admit Do It Like This MV looks really nice, especially the end of it.

6. Your fav P1H choreo?

Pyramid and Butterfly (dance practices where?)

7. Your fav b-sides?

This is so hard I'll just do 3: AYAYA, Butterfly and Follow Me. Honestly, I like their whole discography (especially Disharmony : Break Out as a whole).

8. Your fav cover of theirs?

It was a 1theK vocal cover where they sang various songs, the link speaks for itself. Really gave me an insight into the history that various songs have had..

All of their covers are quite good.

9. Any P1H video you keep coming back to?

That vlive where they knock over the TV, twice. I loved watching them play Superstar FNC. Also, any dance video they post, I will come back to that because damn. There's a lot of videos of them I come back to, but we'll save me gushing about the Stage + performances until next question.

10. Have you watched their little STAGE + performances? What’s your favourite?

Yep, when I first watched I was amazed, still am. I think I thought of them as the Region Stages in my head. 3 happens to be one of my favorites for its energy. 2 was so classy (I can only remember like 2 other groups that did a Kingsman concept).

11. Your favourite Saessak Harmony episode? (If you haven’t seen any, I highly recommend!!!)

I haven't entirely caught up on all of them (sorry, Superstar FNC calls), but the K-pop quiz one was so funny. I'd be most like Intak when it comes to that. Watching them get wet is too funny. I love seeing them smile.

12. Most iconic P1H tiktok in your opinion? (Again, if you haven’t seen any, please go watch them, these boys istg-)

I really have no intention of downloading TikTok (except for maybe dance purposes) but I like the one where Jongseob is dancing to like a Justin Bieber song. It made me burst out into laughter. He does a dice roll and I just absolutely lose it. Gotta love TikTok dances.

13. A P1H moment you love? (Or several, if you’re indecisive like me)

The classic "somebody said ew!", Soul Naruto-running, that one moment in Universal Studios where they call Shrek oppa. Basically all the crazy adventures we get to see.

14. Is there anything they’ve helped you with/you learned from them?

The members are somewhat on the young side, and I'm within their age range, so they feel relatable. One thing I've gotten from them is that youth is not a weakness, rather, it is a strength that can be channeled into so many things. The passion and determination they demonstrate is really inspiring. It makes me want to improve myself too.

15. A concept you want to see them do in the future?

Traditional Korean, maybe fused with futuristic too. I love the outfits and instrumentals for traditional songs.

16. A collab you’re hoping for?

Please get them with Ateez, they'll literally leave the stage incinerated. They're groups where I can watch them and not get bored because their performance is so captivating.

I could always use them with another FNC group too. Like a prod. Zuho feature on the next album, a performance together, I want more lol. Imagine if P1H performed live too with say, N.Flying accompanying them. I mean, FNC has good bands, after all.

17. Fav member combination from the partner vlives?

I am not one who usually watches vlives but nothing beats Keeho and Intak ! Those burnt tortillas.. sigh.

18. Fav lyric if you have one?

"Even if it feels like I'm left in the darkness, in the darkness / 난 약하지 않으니까 / 난 강해져 갈 테니까 (I'm not going to be weak / I'm going to be strong)

- Before the Dawn by P1Harmony

It's just so pretty. Keeho brings it justice.

19. Fav vocal, rapper and dancer? (I know, I know, these are all super hard questions...)

Vocal: It's Keeho even though I love all their voices. He has a voice that enchants you with its richness, tells a story and shows clear RnB influences, quite unexpected in Kpop.

Rapper: Jongseob's experience shines through in his flow. He's going places.

Dancer: Intak's fire when he performs! I'm really proud of all of them as dancers, though.

20. The moment you fell in love with your bias?

Keeho singing his song from the OST of their movie, called Sweet Memories (I need this released on Spotify ASAP). It was a debut showcase clip. Never looked back.

21. A member you can’t help but get wrecked by?

Jongseob. I just look at him, and feel like a proud sister and think of how far he's come (more on that one later). Also, him with purple hair was quite the blessing.

22. Something you love about each member? (Can be one thing or a whole rant, whatever you feel like^^)

Keeho: Ah, our leader. I have a bias towards leaders because it really can't be easy to deal with the members. When talking to interview hosts, he speaks well. It's not his "job" to translate, but he is very courteous in including international fans. He's honest (and we love him for it!), can say something wise and then can say something too damn funny right after.

I could write an essay on his voice, damn. He just has a voice where you can identify it right away. It's literally a whole gem—please, his runs. Dude, save talent for the rest of us. And his dancing. He couldn't dance at all when he got into FNC (it was because of his vocals). But then you look and it's like damn. He's clean. He has attitude when he performs. King shit.

Also how the hell is he so good at Superstar FNC?

Theo: His voice feels like the cold of winter. I don't know why. Like it's soft but it feels like it has an edge to it at times too. So interesting to listen to.

Despite the initial impression of him being cold, he's a fun person, roasting the members and seriously being the sassiest to walk this earth (along with Keeho). I feel like his facial expressions are a mood. Like one time when Keeho was shaking him and his eyes just screamed "get me out of here.."

Jiung: He's very deliberate about everything. There's a reason why he's our ace. He has a sweet voice (it's so light), doesn't slack on rapping, is such a good dancer, just did a collab on their Soundcloud, is amazing with languages too. He's crazy.

But then he's also very comforting. Hearing his voice feels like returning home after a long day. He's loving in his own way. Watching his PLOGs makes me feel at peace.

Intak: He's the embodiment of youthful energy if I ever did see it. The way he hypes everyone up, has such fun while performing, looks like a golden retriever who got excited about, well, something. It seeps into his rapping too. His verses feel like he's casually rapping to you in the moment, but they're practiced all the same.

Also, his damn smile. One of the best sights ever.

Soul: I root for all the "odd ones" out there. Our only INFP, unique to the very end. He's a wildcard, surprising me with his freestyle in Scared, saying that he wants to destroy the world, singing beautifully in the Reset bridge, and just overall having so much potential.

I want to tell him how proud I am of him. Of being who he is, with his humor and randomness. For improving his Korean. For every line that he gets. (Hoping for a Japanese song from them soon!)

The world can't stop him, with his secretive smile, unique nature and passionate performance.

Jongseob: How does one have that much stage experience under their belt? 16 years old internationally and already done so much. Practically a veteran. From Kpop Star 6 to YGTB, I'm in absolute awe of what he's done and love that he excels.

In general, P1Harmony have a lot of credits when it comes to production and writing lyrics on their albums, and as part of the rap line, I commend Seob especially for participating in that.

Also, can we talk about the P-Side video where he did Before the Dawn? Contemporary is so difficult and requires you to express your emotions. The rawness he was able to convey was amazing.

He has a maturity that is hard to find, even in those who are older than him. A very patient aura. But also, you can see he's the maknae. Has a heart-warming smile. At times he shows his embarrassment and I just laugh because it's a mood.

23. Something you love about being a P1ece?

We're really creative. I've seen lots of amazing art, writing and covers centered around P1Harmony.

Bonus: Anything P1Harmony-related that you want to recommend to your (non-P1ece) followers or to new P1eces?

I'll start with something free. Their PLOG (P1Harmony vlogs) series gives an insight to their days, and they open up about small success and emotions. It's a nice little experience, watching one member speak at a time.

If you can, watch their movie which contains much of their lore. P1H: The Beginning of a New World. It's technically only available on Weverse (but maybe you should ask for the link in the P1Harmony Discord server I'm a part of, cough cough). I'd literally be happy to meet new P1ece over there.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Tagging: @p1hsoul005 @lcvekeum + any p1ece that see to do this!

#p1harmony #tag game

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moonshinesapphic · 4 years

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So you were disappointed in Throne of Glass...

(DISCLAIMER: This post does not intend to offend anyone who loves ToG. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and likes and dislikes and is allowed to express that. This post is meant to share books that have similar qualities to ToG for people who were disappointed in the series, like myself, but anyone who does like ToG can absolutely find great recs here! However, if you don’t want to hear anything ToG critical I recommend skipping over this post. Thank you!)

So last week I finally got rid of all my ToG books. I was mostly relieved that I now have more room on my bookshelf but I also felt a little sad. It was a series I really enjoyed when I first read it two years ago, and on some level it will always have a special place for me. It was one of the many books that got me back into reading after a five year slump, it’s the reason I became friends with the wonderful Nicole (@/rainbowbooktheif on Instagram) who was the first person irl to make me feel less alone as a bookish nerd, and it, unintentionally, helped me hone my critical reading skills. However, I slowly began to care less and less for the story and characters as the series progressed and ended up not reading the last two books because I just stopped caring. I wondered why a series that I loved so much in the beginning went down hill so fast for me, but in the process of falling out of love with ToG I realized I wasn’t the only one who felt this way about the series! The lack of diversity (and misrepresentation/mistreatment of diverse characters when they were there), sexism, lazy editing and lackluster world building, among other things, came up many times for me and other former ToG fans when discussing why we became disappointed in the series. But the pitch for the book (badass morally gray assassin taking down a tyrant king for her freedom, so cool!) and some of the elements (romance, female friendships, magic, trials) sounded so amazing even though in the end it was executed poorly. So, I decided to compile a list of books that I have read and loved that have some elements and themes of ToG. This list is by no means exhaustive and is limited by the books that I have read (which is not many when you look at how many books exist in the world) so I would love to see your recommendations! Please feel free to add onto this post any recs that you have! Now onto the list!

1) Graceling by Kristin Cashore

I read this book the summer before I started ToG and completely loved it. It was one of the early books that got me back into reading and it was honestly the perfect book for that. It was exciting and I couldn’t put it down. It follows an assassin for a tyrannical king who begins to realize her own gifts for killing are more then she ever thought they could be. Cashore does a fantastic job developing the lead character Katsa and the ways that she dolls out information to the readers slowly is impeccable. While this book is technically the first in a trilogy of books taking place in the Graceling world, it can be read as a standalone fantasy (which I feel like are very rare). Another part of this book that I really loved was the romance. I usually don’t read very many straight romances (due to the sexist/problematic aspects many of the ones that I’ve read have) but the relationship between Katsa and Po is honestly a breath of fresh air when you’re used to a lot of toxicity and sexism with cishet romances in books. The two take care of each other and their relationship is very balanced. There are no gender roles pushed on either of them and they truly grow to become a team throughout the story and it’s wonderful to see! I would consider Katsa and Po, while canonically cis (there isn’t any explicit queer rep in this book), both quite androgynous characters who often express themselves in a fluid manner which I really appreciate. Over all this is an amazing classic YA fantasy that everyone should check out!

Synopsis: “Katsa has been able to kill a man with her bare hands since she was eight—she’s a Graceling, one of the rare people in her land born with an extreme skill. As niece of the king, she should be able to live a life of privilege, but Graced as she is with killing, she is forced to work as the king’s thug.

She never expects to fall in love with beautiful Prince Po.

She never expects to learn the truth behind her Grace—or the terrible secret that lies hidden far away . . . a secret that could destroy all seven kingdoms with words alone.

With elegant, evocative prose and a cast of unforgettable characters, debut author Kristin Cashore creates a mesmerizing world, a death-defying adventure, and a heart-racing romance that will consume you, hold you captive, and leave you wanting more.”

2) Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

This book is the first in a five book series about three royal sisters raised to battle it out for the throne. I must admit the first book in the series is a little lackluster due to the fact that it’s setting up a lot but the second book just blows everything out of the water in a fantastic way. This series is dark and bloody and intriguing. I got completely hooked on this series and it brought out a lot of emotion to the point where I was gasping and shouting and throwing my book around as I was reading it (I got very invested)! I think that’s one of the things SJM can do well is get you hooked on her characters and Kendare can do the same (if not better). I love the dynamic between the sisters, this book does a great job at exploring the darker side of familial and female/female relationships (mostly platonic.. there isn’t very much queer rep unfortunately) that I really appreciate. The magic system and wolrdbuliding are also something that I enjoyed and I though was quite well done. Kendare does a good job at weaving in worldbuilding and magic system seamlessly into the story and I love that so much. Three Dark Crowns is just a fun and exciting series that I think anyone who loves fantasy YA should check out!

Synopsis: “ In every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born—three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. Arsinoe, a naturalist, is said to have the ability to bloom the reddest rose and control the fiercest of lions.

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. Each sister has to fight for it. And it’s not just a game of win or lose…it’s life or death. The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins.

The last queen standing gets the crown. “

3) The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

So a little disclaimer, this book is one of my favorite fantasy books of all time. I read it over the span of a few months last summer (its a long one guys...800+ pages) and it was one of the greatest, most well thought out fantasy books I’d ever had the pleasure of reading. I loved the characters, the world, the plot, the magic system etc. I loved everything! There’s some great political intrigue, dragon riders, epic battles, prophecies, weddings, funerals, romance and just general badassery and kickassery happening. Shannon clearly put so much time and effort into this book and it shows. That kind of dedication that shows is something that I really appreciate in a book, especially a fantasy book. Another aspect that I loved so so much is the diversity in this book. It came so naturally and didn’t at all feel like tokenism. The characters, with their differing genders, ethnicities, sexualities, ages, and nationalities etc, and their relationships with each other are truly what made the story. This book also has one of the BEST f/f romances I’ve ever read (as a queer woman I really loved that representation so much and felt very connected to both of those characters). Priory is a long one but if you have the time I highly recommend it.

Synopsis: “ A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens.

The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door.

Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic.

Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.

Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep. “

4) Truthwitch by Susan Dennard

As a queer woman, I’m always a little on edge when someone mentions f/f friendship in a book. This is entirely because of the erasure many many f/f romances experience when they are just brushed off as friendships (we’ve all heard the term “gal pals”). It’s frustrating and even though I love a good f/f friendship when the f/f romances get erased and replaced by friendships it gets exhausting. However, Truthwitch is a true f/f friendship that I can fully get behind! Dennard is an author that I had been following for writing tips for a while before I finally picked up her book. I knew that she’s someone who is invested in making her series diverse, even if she herself doesn’t fit into those categories, and accepts criticism because she want’s to do her characters justice. That’s something I really appreciate seeing from white cishet authors and is one of the reasons I picked up Truthwitch. It’s so much fun and the heart of the story truly is the relationship between the two leads Safi and Iseult. Their friendship reminds me a lot of my relationship with my friends. Books about f/f relationships (romantic or otherwise) are few and far between so I really love that this book exists. Strong platonic relationships are so often pushed aside for cishet romantic ones so it’s SO refreshing to see a series where the book would not exist without Safi and Iseult’s bond. They are truly soulmates and their relationship with each other is the most important one in their lives and that is just beautiful. Not to mention this book has got an awesome magic system and is building up to an amazing fantasy series! There’s pirates, priestesses, princes and, of course, witches! It’s loads of fun all around!

Synopsis: “ Young witches Safiya and Iseult have a habit of finding trouble. After clashing with a powerful Guildmaster and his ruthless Bloodwitch bodyguard, the friends are forced to flee their home.

Safi must avoid capture at all costs as she's a rare Truthwitch, able to discern truth from lies. Many would kill for her magic, so Safi must keep it hidden - lest she be used in the struggle between empires. And Iseult's true powers are hidden even from herself.

In a chance encounter at Court, Safi meets Prince Merik and makes him a reluctant ally. However, his help may not slow down the Bloodwitch now hot on the girls' heels. All Safi and Iseult want is their freedom, but danger lies ahead. With war coming, treaties breaking and a magical contagion sweeping the land, the friends will have to fight emperors and mercenaries alike. For some will stop at nothing to get their hands on a Truthwitch. “

5) Monstress by Marjorie Liu (Writer) and Sana Takeda (Illustrator)

Another disclaimer! This book is my favorite graphic novel, period. There is really nothing like Monstress out there and I think that it’s criminally underrated. Liu and Takeda are the perfect combo of writer/artist to make this GN come together. I’m constantly in awe of the world, characters, and story Liu built and the frankly stunning art Takeda creates to go along with it. It’s steampunk and dark and dirty and beautiful. The lead character, Maika, is one of the few truly morally gray characters that I’ve read. Her decisions will make you question if you’re a good person because you still love her despite the fact that she just killed that guy... and that guy... and those other guys. This graphic novel series is very reflective of the dark animes (like Tokyo Ghoul and Castlevania) that we are seeing more recently and I personally believe Monstress would make a fantastic animated series if it were ever to get an adaption. This book has also some great representation of queer women (Maika herself is a queer, disabled, WoC). It’s totally the norm for the world and all of the lead female characters are queer, which I just love. This story has amazing woldbulding, magic, characters etc. It’ll give you everything from giant dead gods, to talking cats with multiple tails, to demonically possessed teenage girls who need to eat people. It’s honestly amazing. (I would give a major trigger warning for blood/gore so as long as you know you can handle that I think you should check it out!)

Synopsis: “ Set in an alternate matriarchal 1900's Asia, in a richly imagined world of art deco-inflected steam punk, MONSTRESS tells the story of a teenage girl who is struggling to survive the trauma of war, and who shares a mysterious psychic link with a monster of tremendous power, a connection that will transform them both and make them the target of both human and otherworldly powers. “

6) The Bridge Kingdom by Danielle L. Jensen

I never thought I would love a cishet romance as much as I love this one but here I am. The Bridge Kingdom is not really the kind of book I would normally pick up but it was on sale on kindle so I thought “why not!” And I was not disappointed. This story follows the assassin princess, Lara, who was raised to be married off to her fathers rival kingdom and kill the king. However, things get sticky when she begins to actually fall for the king and starts to realize that her father isn’t exactly who he says he is. Not only was this romance steamy as hell (this is an ADULT book folks so there are some explicit sex scenes, beware) but the world is super cool. The political intrigue was something I really enjoyed and I loved to see the world unfold from Lara’s eyes. I also totally loved Lara’s character. She’s complicated and cutthroat but ultimately want’s to do what’s right and is a character made to change and develop. I usually don’t go for that character trope that Lara fits into (beautiful and badass and despite being the MCs they somehow end up being very bland...) but Jensen managed to create a very mature and ever changing version of the YA trope that I ended up loving completely. If you love steamy fantasy romances with cool worlds and intriguing characters this is absolutely the book for you!

Synopsis: “ Lara has only one thought for her husband on their wedding day: I will bring your kingdom to its knees. A princess trained from childhood to be a lethal spy, Lara knows that the Bridge Kingdom represents both legendary evil - and legendary promise. The only route through a storm-ravaged world, the Bridge Kingdom controls all trade and travel between lands, allowing its ruler to enrich himself and deprive his enemies, including Lara's homeland. So when she is sent as a bride under the guise of fulfilling a treaty of peace, Lara is prepared to do whatever it takes to fracture the defenses of the impenetrable Bridge Kingdom.

But as she infiltrates her new home - a lush paradise surrounded by tempest seas - and comes to know her new husband, Aren, Lara begins to question where the true evil resides. Around her, she sees a kingdom fighting for survival, and in Aren, a man fiercely protective of his people. As her mission drives her to deeper understanding of the fight to possess the bridge, Lara finds the simmering attraction between her and Aren impossible to ignore. Her goal nearly within reach, Lara will have to decide her own fate: Will she be the destroyer of a king or the savior of her people? “

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maxbegone · 4 years

Text

IT’S FINALLY HERE!

In an effort to spread some love to the fanfic authors in the Schitt’s Creek community, this post is a compiling of some of our favorite fics! Thank you to every single person who decided to participate in this dedication of love! And to the fanfic authors out there - thank you for being so wonderful and sharing your stories with us! Here’s to many more countless hours of reading - day or night!

There are repeats! I understand that may seem a little redundant, but I wanted everyone who participated to share their favorite fics regardless of repetition, author, pairing, AU, size, etcetera.

A very special thanks to everyone who participated!

@bestwisheswarmestregards // @brighter-than-sunshine // @danieljradcliffe @darnitdraco // @imargaery // @justwaiting23 // @leopxld-fitz // @lickrustdavid // @loveburnsbrighter // @oceanavinfinity @poorguysheadcanon // @ratchet // @roguebabyinyourstore @stuck-on-your-heart // @thisbuildinghasfeelings // @vulcantastic @wlwbaudelaire

I’m going to go ahead and put everything under the cut, because this should be quite a long post!

**If there are authors on tumblr whose handles were not properly added, please send me a message!

@bestwisheswarmestregards

Fic 1: Ace Of Hearts by loveisallyouneed21

Why I like it: It is just really sweet and made me really happy. Plus I like seeing Patrick as an asexual being one myself. I don’t see a lot of ace characters in the media so seeing someone portray Patrick, a character I love, as one makes me really happy.

Fic 2: An Unexpected Arrival by @justwaiting23

Why I like it: It was one of the first fics I read in this fandom and I fell in love with it. Plus the Brewers are in it and I love anything with the Brewers.

Fic 3: Hammock by @maxbegone

Why I like it: This fic makes me so fluffy inside. Early morning and snuggles are one of the best combinations.

@brighter-than-sunshine

Fic 1: Your Wings Prepare To Fly by @icmezzo

Why I like it: I’m not the biggest fans of AUs/ Fantasy takes on fics, but the characterization of David and Patrick is so good here. It’s such a beautifully written fic, and I just couldn’t get enough of it when I first read it! A definite reread.

Fic 2: Today and All the Days that Follow by @unfolded73

Why I like it: This one is one of my all-time favorites, because it explores so many of the relationships between all the characters… I especially love the bits including Stevie and Alexis.

Fic 3: Little Reminders of our Love by @justwaiting23

Why I like it: The whole idea of David and Patrick leaving each other notes was too adorable not to recommend this fic!

@danieljradcliffe

Fic 1: Watching Through Windows by @helvetica-upstart

Why I like it: Some fandoms have those fics that just inevitably change the game and define what fanfiction can be and for me, this is that fic for Schitt's Creek. It is a staple that everyone's read and continues to talk about and recommend a year after it was published; I'm sure we will continue to talk about it for years to come and to recommend it as new folks come into the fandom.

Fic 2: Until Now Gives Way to Then by swat117

Why I like it: I just read this one-shot recently thanks to your (feel free to edit this how you need for your post) recommendation of their other fic, 'Exposed Brick.' This is a fic that (for me) completely captures why David and Patrick fit and work so well together and how their pasts have made it possible for them to be who they are as a couple in SC. I haven't read another fic that resonated with my own interpretation and appreciation of their relationship as much as this one. This author truly and completely sees them for all that they are.

Fic 3: Red White and Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth

Why I like it: I saw this fic published earlier this year and wanted to read it so badly but figured I should read the source material (Red, White, & Royal Blue) first so I did and absolutely fell in love with that book (who wouldn't?). I attribute this fic for inspiring me to read Casey McQuiston's book and so when I went to finally read it, I had extremely high expectations and even still, this fic exceeded them. The author does an amazing job of incorporating aspects of the original book (RWRB) while keeping the story true to the characters and relationships we know and love in Schitt's Creek. I read the entire fic in one sitting and then instantly, read it again. It is laugh out loud funny while being romantic as hell and keeps David and Patrick incredibly in-character throughout.

@darnitdraco

Fic 1: Red White And Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth

Why I like it: this fic is the reason I bought Red White and Royal Blue. Going into the fic, I didn’t know what the book was about so it was all new to me but it was great nevertheless. Now that im almost finished with the book, I love this fic even more. I know its an AU but I think the characters are written well and I pretty much love any fic when Rachel isn’t made out to be the bad guy. Its 13 chapters and I will 100% be rereading it after I finish the book.

Fic 2: Nothing Burns Like The Cold by @wildxwired

Why I like it: This is a one shot and definitely Patrick Centric. I thrive on Angst and Hurt/Comfort. I personally feel like it is Patrick coming to terms with a things he didn’t have control over and him getting closure on things of the past. I don’t want to give away too much of the plot but please read this guys!!

Fic 3: sometimes good things fall apart by @blueink3

Why I like it: I have reread this multiple times and it gets better each time. Its only 4 chapters but it isn’t rushed. As I said above, I THRIVE on angst and hurt/comfort. This has both, AND protective Patrick. It is a spin on what could’ve happened after the barbecue and it has a happy ending so don’t worry.

@imargaery

Fic 1: Dodgeball is f*cking stupid by alldaydream

Why I like it: This is a one-chapter piece that comes in just under 6k and yet the author manages to build a super rich AU experience and tell a complete story that is at once heart-wrenching, sweet, sexy, and thematic. If you want angst that doesn’t last too long, that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy, this is the one-shot for you. I go back to it as much as I go back to some of my favorite D&P scenes from the show.

Fic 2: if not for you by goingmywaydoll

Why I like it: When it comes to fanfiction about our boys, there’s almost nothing I love more than a high school AU. This is that. But it’s also a ROAD TRIP. What better scenario is there for a slow burn, mutual pining, dialogue heavy love story with plenty of bed sharing and nobody bothering them?

Fic 3: Beneath the Winter Snow by Distractivate

Why I like it: Can you tell I love a good AU? This one’s about the Olympics and it imagines a world in which Patrick and David have already fallen in love, had a relationship, and have broken up. This is a story about them finding their way back to each other--which isn’t hard because they have to be around each other all the time and work through their issues. It’s written with grace and thoughtfulness, and walking with Patrick and David as they learn to communicate with one another and work on healing makes the reunion that much more satisfying.

@justwaiting23

Fic 1: hit me with your best shot by @ignisgayentia

Why I like it: This is a bit of a random one but it has stuck with me ever since I read it. It’s a short little AU about David and Patrick meeting at a baseball game where Patrick is one of the players. It’s really sweet and does such a great job of keeping the voices in character, especially with the flirty teasing and awkwardness and is one of those fics I go back to over and over again.

Fic 2: Spills & Thrills by storieswelove

Why I like it: This is one in a series of ‘Meet-Uglies’ that the author has written which I adore but it’s my favourite one out of them. It has the perfect mix of awkward interactions which make you cringe and also really sweet and fond moments between the two of them.

Fic 3: You Can Plan on Me by odofidi

Why I like it: This is a sweet little piece of marital fluff about the first Christmas after the wedding. It fits exactly with my idea about what married life would be like for them and is really sweet, plus I always love it when the Brewers are able to see Patrick so genuinely in love with someone like that so it’s definitely one of my very favourites.

@leopxld-fitz

Fic 1: best wishes, warmest regards (sent with confetti effect) by reymonova (costiellie)

Why I like it: This fic is just pure fun. The character voices are always perfect, and it’s such a nice addition to the series. This story is full of incredible one-liners and I think about “th*nk y*u” at least once a week. A must-read for anyone who loves a good Stevie-David friendship moment.

Fic 2: Going Down by @concannonfodder

Why I like it: This is a perfect AU. Rich David? Check. New York? Check. Patrick’s gay awakening? Check, check, check. This fic feels as real and in-character as any canon events of the show, and the author does an incredible job at lining up a love story for the ages all over again under completely different pretenses. Plus, who doesn’t love a “stuck in an elevator” trope? I would watch 10 movies based off of this.

Fic 3: I’ve Never Liked A Smile As Much As I Like Yours by hagface

Why you like it: I live for college AU’s, and this one doesn’t disappoint. I love how the author repositioned characters and events for a new setting, and David as a picky art major is all I ever could have hoped for. Character interactions are pitch perfect and there’s a true “paint me like one of your french girls” pining moment that was truly glorious. A great read!!

@lickrustdavid

Fic 1: Tonight I’ll Drift in A Dream With You by torakowalski

Why I like it: It’s rare to find such a well-written fic with a great family dynamic that makes you feel like you’re almost just reading a script for the actual show instead of an idea. There’s something soft and comforting about reading cohabitation with Alexis and David and Patrick doing there own things on separate sides of the motel room.

Fic 2: A Week with the Brewers by @justwaiting23

Why I like it: The dynamic with David and the Brewer’s is genuinely authentic and it’s made me flash back to some of my own experiences with partners parents. The fact that Patrick’s totally willing to have sex while his parents are there while David is mortified at the idea is also great and realistic. I feel like this fic also shows how partners grow and learn to communicate with one another and trust them.

Fic 3: Welcome to Cabaret by @vivianblakesunrisebay

Why you like it: The concept of David being more included in the whole Cabaret experience was something I definitely appreciated, since during the show I was kind of bummed with the lack of him. Stevie is wonderfully written in my opinion, and I really liked Patrick going on dates with the choreographer and watching David figure out how to cope.

@loveburnsbrighter

Fic 1: Small Projects by GCLane

Why I like it: My ultimate comfort fic. Soft relationship feels and loving, passionate discussion of fiber arts, plus nuanced discussion of coming out and fitting in and what it means to be queer. Also David trying new things and doing his best, which is also fun (he learns to knit!)

Fic 2: You and Me and This Temptation by @leupagus

Why I like it: Another comfort fic! Musician Patrick/manager David. It's funny asf and super sweet at the same time. Plus it does justice by Rachel, and made me totally love her. Also, I was never sold on AUs of any kind and this is the fic that converted me. I re-read it when I need cheering up and it never fails.

Fic 3: The Moment I Touched Down by rockinhamburger

Why you like it: Patrick learning about David's past and being the sweetest most sympathetic bean :(. This one is full of tragic backstory and good emotional hurt/comfort. Super cathartic to read, and it makes me want to wrap David and Patrick both in big hugs and protect them from the world.

@maxbegone

Fic 1: my heart was broke, my head was sore by @blueink3

Why I like it: This was the first fic I read since coming into the fandom. It’s canon-divergent, which, as it turns out, I kind of love. It’s so beautifully-written; a story about David meeting the Brewers much sooner than he anticipated, under unforeseen circumstances that take Patrick back to his hometown - and David is right along with him. And just like in every universe, Marcy Brewer is an angel.

Fic 2: Cleanser by @cypress-tree

Why I like it: Hello and welcome to my comfort fic! This is just the most soothing story. It’s my wind-down fic, and every single time I read it, it makes me want to do my own in-depth skincare routine (that I already do morning and night). But it’s not just about that - it’s about Patrick taking a look at his identity as well. It’s all so tender and sweet, and so intimate in its own lovely way. David pampers Patrick a little bit and shows him that “femininity” and “masculinity” do not have rigid divides. And the first time I read this, I was wearing a mask from LUSH.

Fic 3: keep my spirit strong, you do by fishypots

Why you like it: Content warning; eating disorders, food issues. This hit me square in the chest. It resonated with me in a way I knew it would but struck so much more within me. By the end of it, I was smiling because of how represented I felt. I know this is a difficult topic for some, but I needed to share this fic. As someone with dysmorphia and struggles with disordered eating, it was such a comfort to read about David, who is a character so vulnerable and his partner who doesn’t pester him with questions. Instead he listens, he does a little research (it’s Patrick, of course he does), and remains by him. It’s all written so realistically and tenderly, and without any jabs or awkward nods toward body image. This will forever be at the top of my list.

@oceanavinfinity

Fic 1: I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only to You by ladyflowdi, ships_to_sail

Why I like it: It is a work-in-progress au set in Paris during WWII. Patrick is a soldier on leave, and David is a gallerist who sailed to France to help Alexis (as usual). The characters are so, so true to canon, and the world building of Paris in that era will whisk you away from your current place. I love it.

@poorguysheadcanon

Fic 1: bright lights by falconeggs (series)

Why I like it: my favorite schitts creek fic is definitely the series “bright lights” on ao3!

@ratchet

Fic 1: In the Temple of Artemis by MoreHuman

Why I like it: This story has Stevie exploring (with some help) the identifier of Aromantic after navigating what she thought were her romantic feelings for David. Really sensitively written, with a scene that almost perfectly puts into words my feelings about David & Stevie’s soulmate-esque relationship.

Fic 2: David Rose, Your Husband Is At Guest Services by @patricksdavid

Why I like it: Husbands! At Costco! Giant muffins and comically large bags of doritos! 2071 words of pure domestic fluff! What more could you ask for?!

Fic 3: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman

Why I like it: Okay so. This is very new as part of the Reel Fic Fest, but I needed to include it. I love Wild, both the book & movie, and I am very much a “deal with my problems by hiking/biking in the forest” so this spoke to me immediately. Patrick and David meet as strangers hiking 1500 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. There’s nature, pining in nature, tent shenanigans, tent emergencies! Stevie being an excellent friend from afar, a cribbage board, journaling, secret trail register entries, David in flannel, and an ever-present toque. It’s just a really satisfying and calming 30k words with literally 2 characters. I read it twice in 12 hours.

@roguebabyinyourstore

Fic 1: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman

Why I like it: I like a good AU as much as the next person, but this one is just STUNNING. The descriptions of the pain and struggle endured by both men, both physical and emotional, was vibrantly visceral. David and Patrick’s relationship bloomed organically and you are hooked on their journey through the wilderness as they grow closer and eventually fall in love. Plus it’s Patrick’s POV. What’s not to love?

Fic 2: Getting Over Getting Older All The Time by Distractivate

Why I like it: You’ve heard of slow burn? Well meet glacial burn. This masterpiece takes us through 10 years of friendship, of missed opportunities, of pining and heartbreak. But most importantly it shows what we all knew - David and Patrick will find their way to each other regardless of time and distance. Also Patrick’s POV, I sort of love Patrick Brewer.

Fic 3: You Could Be The One by bigficenergy

Why I like it: I have a soft spot for early relationship David and Patrick. But almost no fic does it quite like this. This fic highlights points from our boys’ developing relationship scored by the incomparable Carly Rae Jepsen. This fic is so true to the characters, their voices and their story, that it’s all one giant headcanon for me. This fic is part 1 of a larger series and I highly recommend all of them.

@stuck-on-your-heart

Fic 1: a kiss from a rose by mihaly ( @davidroseshusband )

Why I like it: This was the first multi-chapter fic I read when I joined the sc fandom, and I hadn’t read fic of any kind in over a year. It’s a brilliant story where Alexis stars in a reality-dating show. All the characters are portrayed so perfectly in this fic, and you can hear their voices in every piece of dialogue. It’s sweet, it’s hot, it’s everything you could want in an AU. This story helped me fall in love with fic again so it has a very special place in my heart.

Fic 2: Rose’s Eleven by leupagus

Why I love it: This story honestly feels like a movie. I know the concept is based on a film franchise, but the writing in this fic is truly exquisite. It’s so complex and gripping, and there’s a heist which is always a good time. Despite the very different world these characters are in, they are still true to themselves, so it’s very exciting to see how they interact with one another in this universe. This is such a fun read from start to finish and just thinking about it makes me want to go back and read it again.

Fic 3: Simply the Vest by orphan_account

Why I love it: If you couldn’t tell, I’m obsessed with AUs. This fic is such a satisfying AU because it incorporates several tropes that we all know and love. In this story, Patrick is an FBI agent, and he has to go undercover as David’s boyfriend. So right off the bat there’s fake dating! And then it has pining because our boys are dumb! AND THEN it has a little smut if that’s your cup of tea. And while all this is happening, Patrick is being capable and looks very dashing in his FBI vest.

@thisbuildinghasfeelings

Fic 1: Happy to help by @vivianblakesunrisebay

Why I like it: This was the first Schitt’s Creek fic I fell in love with when I started exploring what was out there after bingeing the show for the first time. It’s basically a deep dive into Patrick’s POV from Motel Review through Grad Night. It really helped me appreciate Patrick as a character when I was fairly new to the show. I think I formed a lot of head canon regarding Patrick’s life and backstory based on the things I enjoyed in this fic. And it’s just incredibly well written.

Fic 2: turn down the lights, turn down the bed by @hudders-and-hiddles ( @wild-aloof-rebel )

Why I like it: I love this take on David and Patrick remaining just business partners until Rock On. I can be a bit of a canon purist, so I’m really picky when it comes to AU fic. However, there are actually quite a few I enjoy in this fandom. My favorite thing about this one is that it has the exact right amount of angst, to the point where it’s almost physically painful, but in the best possible way. Especially because you know how it’s going to end. This is angst with a happy ending executed perfectly. And it’s so good that it holds up to multiple rereads.

Fic 3: my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3

Why I like it: Another canon divergent AU that I love. This one diverges from canon after Grad Night, at which point Patrick has to go home for a family emergency and David goes with him. What I really love about it is how it puts Patrick in a position to be truly vulnerable and gives David the opportunity to kind of be the strong one and really take care of Patrick. This is something we don’t get to see to this extent in canon until maybe Meet the Parents, so it’s nice seeing it here so early in their relationship. Also, it’s just so beautifully written.

@vulcantastic

Fic 1: no other version of me i would rather be tonight by wardo_wedidit

Why I like it: I’ve always enjoyed the concept of love languages, and it was so sweet watching David do so much for Patrick to show he loves him. Of course, it stems from fear and anxiety that David isn’t doing enough for Patrick (especially with Alexis egging him on), which reads very realistically to me. I think we as the audience tend to forget that David has never had anything like this before, has never experienced the love of someone like Patrick. He’s still learning how to accept that love and return it, in his own unique ways. This fic does a great job of examining that.

Fic 2: Exposed Brick by swat117

Why I like it: To me this is the perfect “Patrick and David visit New York” fic. Patrick is characterized so beautifully here; we not only see how he aims to please throughout his relationship with David but in his interactions with Rachel and his family as well. I imagine there was a lot left unsaid on the show regarding Patrick’s uneasiness about moving to New York and David’s ultimate decision to stay with him in Schitt’s Creek--this is explored wonderfully here. Plus, as a new New Yorker, it was really nice to read about all the iconic places in and around Manhattan.

Fic 3: we’ll take the world together by sonlali

Why I like it: I am a sucker for stories that examine David and Alexis’ relationship before the start of the show. This fic in particular is heart-wrenching, touching on the trauma both siblings likely experienced before we as viewers knew them. I love the idea of David as protector of his younger sister, and to see that sentiment returned by Alexis now that they have grown (physically and emotionally) while living in Schitt’s Creek is beautiful to read.

@wlwbaudelaire

Fic 1: you’re my peace and my quiet by chocobos

Why I like it: This fic is just so soft and sweet and always puts me in a good mood whenever I reread it. It’s wonderfully written and I can truly see this as an actual scene in the show.

Fic 2: Terrified But The Truth is This by ryry_peaches ( @loveburnsbrighter )

Why I like it: As someone who’s had a headcanon that David is autistic since I started watching the show, this was the first fic I saw pertaining to it. I was happy to see how well it was portrayed, especially giving how poorly I’ve seen fics portray autism in other fandoms, and it even made me see the episode “Girls' Night” in a completely different light.

Fic 3: Putting Down Roots by @this-is-not-nothing

Why I like it: Absolute domestic fluff is my jam and this fic delivers it and then some. It gives me everything I could want in a post-canon fic where David and Patrick are happily married and living in their cottage.

Again, thank you to everyone who made this post possible! I am so happy we were able to spread some love and cheer to the fic writers of this community! Sending so much love to each and every one of you, and I’m hoping this provides some new material for the community to discover as well!

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imakemywings · 3 years

Text

End of the year fic meme

Tagged by: @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold ! So the beginning of this year I got a fair bit of writing in, being inspired by new fandoms, but of course after school started I got nothing done lol Grad school fries my brain way too much to have time and inspiration for writing.

I saw other folks do a little table for this so here’s my compiled fic from this year, in the order it was written:

New things I tried this year:

I wrote for new fandoms this year! Last year, 2019, was the first time I wrote for Dragon Age, which was the first fandom I’ve really written for outside Hetalia in like, eight years lol This year I continued on that, and I wrote for Mass Effect an Beastars for the first time. It was kind of intimidating to take on new characters, after spending so many years on familiar faces, but it was lots of fun! It was so nice to have inspiration for new things and I really enjoyed tackling fresh material.

I also dug into DA characters I hadn’t written before, like Vivienne and Blackwall, which was also fun!

Fic I spent the most time on

Oh that’s tough...it was probably And Around Her Neck, A String of Comets, although it went so fast, it didn’t feel long at all! It was a Monday morning at work I decided to write a little fic touching on some of the main events of Vivienne’s life in my down time at work...this was the last week I was in the office before we were sent home as a precautionary COVID-19 measure, so it turned out to be a very slow week, and I ended up being quite a bit more inspired for this fic than I expected! I spent 7 straight days on it and it’s one of the longest things I’ve ever published (being as I don’t usually write chapter fics).

Fic I spent the least time on:

Tissaia’s Blush, a 15-minute fic prompt about Aethyta and Benezia’s break-up

Favorite thing I wrote:

Definitely And Around Her Neck, A String of Comets. It was so unexpected and I’m still very pleased with how it turned out. I had meant to write more to accompany it, but my summer got eaten up with Beastars. Maybe now I’ll have more time for that!

Favorite thing I read:

I don’t honestly read a ton of fic these days, especially with school, but there were some really good things I read I’ll see if I can recall them all.

1. Heartkiller by Amalysstuff -- An excellent FrUK vampire AU fic on which I am still due to leave a suitable comment. Highly, highly recommend.

2. The Order of Succession by Cartadwarfwithaheartofgold -- Aeducan family politics at its best. This little fic is a ton of fun, especially if you enjoy either of the dwarf origins from DA:O.

3. Shadow Boxing by hibernate -- Excellent Iron Bull and Vivienne dynamics, a really fun little piece. This author gets both of their characters so well.

4. by the horns by staircased -- Hawke and the Arishok have a slightly more complicated relationship. Just a fascinating dynamic here and the ending hits hard.

5. Make Thousands Working From Home! by virdant -- The Dark Side is a multi-level marketing scheme and Obi-wan is not having it. A very short fic that is so very entertaining.

6. Bone White, Blood Red, Gunmetal Gray by baeowulf -- An excellent and amazingly detailed AU where Haru frees herself from the Shishigumi and then sets off with Louis and Legoshi to dismantle a crime ring. If you’re into Beastars at all I highly recommend this one.

7. Unconquered by Chocochipbiscuit -- BOYYYYYY this is undoubtedly my favorite rarepair fic I’ve read in a long time! It’s Svarah/Vivienne and it is sooo well-done; this author has a fantastic grip on Vivienne’s character which is so rare to see in this fandom. Cannot give enough kudos.

8. Paper Flowers by quiet_one -- Thane and Irikah’s relationship pre-canon. A wonderful exploration of something we don’t see much detailed in the game.

9. New Mexican Sunset by lunarcrowly -- Very touching canon divergent fic where Shepard gets to visit New Mexico with Thane after ME2 <3

10. Insomnia by dictionarywrites -- A wonderful character study, particularly of Vivienne. I have a soft spot for any fic that does her justice and this one does much more than that.

11. Hamster Dance by MadameBager -- Shenanigans ensue after Shepard leaves her hamster in Tali and Garrus’ care for a bit. It’s a really fun read.

12. The Creature in the Woods by apfelgranate -- A young Adaar wants to learn magic from Solas. An original and fascinating take on an AU relationship between a mage Adaar and Solas--really interesting!

13. Feral Beasts and Fine Clothes by SargantEnfield -- Another Beastars AU with some fun worldbuilding. I really love how this author handles the relationship between Louis and Haru.

14. hatred grows in empty spaces by kierkegarden -- Count Dooku considers his apprentices. A really neat character study that gives more depth to the Count than we see in either the movies or the TV show,

15. there’ll be bluebirds by hetahonda -- Some FrUK moments in recent history. Delightful banter and very solid character depictions here.

16. Songs that Voices Never Share by puella_nerdii -- Obi-wan/Ventress with all the requisite snarky banter.

17. I Guess I’m a Bad Liar by pocketfullofbees -- Fantastic examination of Haru/Louis/Legoshi. Just beautifully well-done.

18. Lorem Ipsum by Anonymous -- This is slightly cheating because I first read this fic in like, 2013, but the author this year decided to publish on AO3 from the kink meme so it makes the list. Historically, my favorite FrUK fic of all time.

19. Leuctomy by silkinsilence -- A very dark character look at Widowmaker and Moira’s relationship.

20. London Calling by SansSoucis -- Beautifully destructive FrUK.

21. after the flood, all the colors came out by madambadger -- A fantastic Shepard/Tali. Just wonderful, with a look at their relationship after the reclamation of Rannoch.

22. Ante Meridiem by astraielle -- Angsty Shrios where we see how Shepard’s responsibilities actually affect her.

23. Prayers for the Wicked by CelticKnot -- Hnnnnng I literally cannot say enough good things about this author and how they write, and especially how they write Thane. Holy shit. If you have even a passing interest in his character you owe it to yourself to read some of this author’s work. Also, their grasp on narrative structure is absolutely phenomenal.

24. Rakhana by DrJekyl -- Mass Effect galaxy politics as the fate of Rakhana and the drell comes to a head. Absolutely my kind of shit.

25. Homecoming by DrJekyl -- Aethyta backstory, and very well-done.

26. Like Chewing On Pearls by Amalysstuff -- Historical fem!FrUK and just again I have to give this author credit. This is good stuff.

27. Compromised by CelticKnot -- Yeah another CK fic here because you should read it. Drack narrates for the crew of the Tempest a mission he once ran with Thane Krios.

28. Beyond the Sea by Flyingicecreamtruck -- Knocked unconscious, Shepard has a discussion with Irikah Krios.

29. Cold by emptykitkat -- Sebastian helps Fenris recover after Kirkwall. Really neat look at both Fenris’ character and the depth of healing he needs to truly be free.

30. Contentment by PennyFortheGuy -- One of the few Hawke/Orsino fics on AO3 and lots of fun.

Writing goals for next year:

Honestly, next year is going to be 100% dedicated to school, so I’ll be happy to find time to write at all.

#tagged #wow that got long

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chromium7sky · 4 years

Text

Four-eyes| one shot damirae

A/n: I'm trying to stretch up my writing muscle before continuing other work. Sorry for crappy idea and crappy sketches.

Either her reason is to cut off from social interacting or just the aesthetic, Damian can't help find himself staring at her as she held her book close up, almost buried her face in it.

'What's with the pose?' Damian mumbled as he seen her sit at the living room, while other member interacting, playing even asking question while she simply choose to isolate herself by reading book way to close as if she literally pushing everyone away from her.

Damian as usual goes to the table which situated near the window and put down some document and report for him to finish and compiling. Other than patrolling, working on clerical stuff makes him busy.

Growing up training to kill, social were never be in his dictionary but it seems Raven's effort in social distancing is a bit...annoying as he seen her at the corner of his eyes while studying the statistic of how many times someone try to mess up banking system at the city then he decided to focus on his paper.

-------

He remember when the first time he was sent to teen titans by his father much to his dismay, the member seems to display a tiny of fear as they look at him like seeing a nightmare but for raven, she keep calm.

He thought she's different perhaps because she's the daughter of demons (the worst one), she takes no judgement. But still, he need to be cautious towards her.

Perhaps it is one of her trait where she tries to calm down her team mates if there's inner tension happening. If Starfire unable to calm down the fight between two boys especially when involves with him.

One thing he can't be control is him being hard head and stubborn to the point Raven almost sent him to another dimension. Raven's patience are not infinite and he definitely not going to be overboard with his attitude. Therefore, it train him to tolerate some of member attitude as well as how to cooperate and using other member's ability to achieve the objective of the mission.

He does prepare some plan and blueprint towards the teen titans member for tactical study. Beast boy and Wally simply scoffed as they skim up the document like it was nothing. They prefer to wing it in, as what they told Damian which almost makes him lectured them about preparedness and failure is only for people who don't prepare for any consequences.

However, Raven told him, he should lose up a bit and she does say the others are learning from him being better in tactical as she let him to observe the other member closely when they conducting some mission that involved less threat. She pat on his back, simply said " Don't worry, they got it. They learn it from you. " She smiled.

He felt something after he heard it. What is this flutter feeling in his chest?

His face felt some heat. what is happening?

Trying to avoid Raven from seeing his vulnerable state , he simply let out the sigh and step away from her. At the corner of his eyes he saw her face from pleasant smile to surprised.

Sometimes he cursed his past for not knowing the meaning of emotion. All he learn is vengeance and angry. Only those two. As soon as he move in Gotham, he start to learn respect, family love and worries. The feeling after being praised? He still figure it out what is it.

As time goes by, he eventually try to bond the team, helping them become better. "Dude, even though you'relike some sort of gremlin, I guess you are a good person after all!" Beast boy cracked then turn into a Macaque hugging Damian's face much to his disgust after he improved the shapeshifter's suit.

He sighed.

--------

After two years later, he's begin to be comfortable with the team and almost memorize their attitude and personalities. Somehow, he still haven't figure out Raven. When it comes to accomplish the mission, she glide through the air, launching attack and be as enigma and Raven-y as she can, casting fear towards the enemy. He swore he has seen the method before.

As soon as the mission over, she open the portal pulling the team back into teen titans tower like a worm hole short cut and after that the team disperse at the launching pad, getting rest or shower.

At night the team leisuring in living room but Raven spend her time in her room. But this time, Kori ask him to call her because it is the night of mandatory fun.

Damian keeping his composure, nodded and walked towards her room. He knocked three times, then he heard footstep walk towards the door. " What is it, Damian?"

Damian perhaps jolted a bit as he wonder how could she guess him but quickly discarded as he forget that she, is Raven who can read minds and an empath.

"Its Kori. She said it's Mandatory night." Damian simply state the business. Then he heard silent for a while.

"C-could you tell Kori that I'm not coming?" She spoke behind the door.

"I'll inform to her then." Damian nod and walk away. He inform to Kori about it.

"Ah, too bad. I wanted to show this new movie. Guess it's just us then." She smiled.

"I'm not coming too, Kori. I'm afraid if there's any emergency mission, I don't think she could handle it alone." Damian crossed his arms.

"Raven handle a case during valentine day when she was alone." Said Jackson as came up with casual clothes.

"Which she end up crying after she's back from the mission." Damian sneered at the Aqualad.

"I never knew Damian would care so much for a team mate or...are you planning something else?" Beast boy came up after putting his best clothes and his grin.

"Yes, I'm planning to take over the world, once you're back from outside please do inform me how it went so that I could proceed my plan." Damian said sarcastically.

"Ahah, don't worry, D. We'll buy something for ya." Wally pay on his shoulder.

"Just go." He shoved all three of them as Kori are about to leave the room.

---------

Damian now at leisuring room playing cheesy Viking 3 console mode to passed the time. The tower really quiet as four of them gone out excluding Raven and he really appreciate the moment of silence.

Suddenly he heard a fridge door open. Quickly he put the game on pause, and went to the kitchen.

As he coming to the room he saw the girl with bob hair style with dual color hair consist of navy blue with manogany red ending.

' That's must be Raven.' his heart spoke. As he pulled the chair at the kitchen the table, the girl froze.

"Who's there?!" She spun and held her hand that enveloped with purple energy towards him.

Damian simply stood there and so was she.

Both of them froze.

A moment passed, then another.

And...

"You ... wear glasses?" He rose his brow.

Raven with sweaty face, blink a couple of times as she adjusted her glasses with her other hands.

"Damian, what are you doing in here? I thought you follow others to Mandatory day?" Her hands with energy start to dispersed.

"That explain everything." His lips tug aside.

"What?" Raven confused with the answer he gave.

" The book, the pose, the distance." He chuckled. Then, he looks at flustered Raven.

"What do you mean? you still haven't answer my question, Damian Wayne." Raven getting confused.

"Ah, nothing. I decided to stay just in case of emergency mission and all. I Wouldn't let you handle the cases alone." Damian crossed his arm as he sit at the kitchen counter.

"So...you're doubting me?" It was Raven turn arched her brow.

"I'm not saying you're not capable. I'm saying that you'll need some back up. Two heads are better than one, wouldn't it?" Damian lean back at the chair.

"Never knew you would thought of that, that's very kind of you." She smiled. " An improvement too."

Damian clicked his tongue and looked away, but pink tint start to visible on his cheeks and his ears. Ah, again with this feeling.

He clear his throat a couple of times, then a mug set in from of him. "Peppermint ice tea?"

His eyes looked at Raven as she seat in front of him, with glasses and book on her hands. The Flowers of evil, as he observed the title. "Thank you."

As he sip his tea, he stared at the book. "Flowers of Evil?" As he pointed at the book.

"Yeah, might try to read something like old poem." as Raven looked at the book title.

"I could recommend Robert Frost."

"I did read some of his. The Road Not Taken." As Raven sipped her tea.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

Raven blink her eyes as she heard his recitation the last verse. "So, do you take it?"

"Take what?"

"The road less traveled by."

Damian looked at her. " This is the road less traveled by." He smirk as he sip the cup.

Raven try to understand that line but Damian simply silent. He's quite enjoy the company he's having now.

"All these time, I've been wonder what's with burying your face in the book." He rest both of his elbow on the table as well as his chin on his propped hand. " Never knew you were actually Four-eyes, metaphorically."

"Are you, mocking me?" Raven furrowed her brows as she put her cup on the table.

"I found you looks more professional in those glasses." He smirked as he stared at her which leads to Raven unknowingly adjusting her glasses as she looked away.

"The glasses is expensive. I lost mine as I bought to mission when I first join the titans, so I tend to leave it at room and I had to use some of my powers to adjust my visions."

"But you could heal them?" Damian's begun to curious.

"Only limited time."

"Did you know there's is laser treatment for that?"

Raven surprised as she heard it. She seems to be thinking but then she put down her cup.

"I'd rather wear glasses than risking my eyes to go blind." She sighed. "Unless I end up become Bran the third eye Raven."

Damian chuckled. She's indeed full of surprises.

"If you lost your glasses again, do tell me. I might know some excellent optometrist to do excellent job."

"Uh, n-no. You don't have to. I.."

"That's what team mate for right? Helping each other?" He smiled. A genuine smile.

She seems stunned by him. Smiling. Damian Wayne is actual smiling.

"Besides, you in glasses, is a rare opportunity and quite pleasant to the eyes." As he get up and goes towards the sink to wash his empty cup. At the corner of his eyes, Raven were blushed hard then adjusting her glasses.

Shit. He cursed under his breath. She IS adorable IN glasses.

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loveisblindfanfictionbka · 3 years

Text

Love Is Blind: Chapter Five

Chris grabbed a large box from his postmaster and placed it into the back seat of his truck.

“Daddy, what’s that?” Anesa asked.

“Not sure yet. I wasn’t expecting anything in the mail.”

“Oh. Are we gonna get our puppy today?”

“No, we’ll gonna get one on Friday. The only place that has the dog you want is in the city so we’ll go after my afternoon class.”

“Friday? That’s so many days away, Daddy.”

“I know Love Bug but we’re not going into the city until next week so you’ll have to wait.”

“But Daddy.”

“Anesa, we’re not having this conversation. You’ve waited all this time for a puppy, you can wait a few more days, ok?”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Good. So what do you want for lunch?”

“Cheese sticks and french fries.”

“You gonna turn into a cheese stick; you keep eating them so much, “ Chris replied with a chuckle as he pulled out of the post office parking lot.

Chris went into his office as Anesa plopped down in front of the TV. He grabbed the box and set it on top of the coffee table then sat down on the couch in front of it. He carefully slit open the top and smiled at the note “You indulged one of my hidden passions, why not indulge yours? Hope you like it (wink).” Chris dug into the box and pulled out a luxury model train set then a collection of various Jazz compilations on vinyl.

“Wow….this woman went all out,” he murmured to himself. He grabbed his phone and took a picture of the gifts before sending it as an attachment through the dating chat. A few minutes passed before he got a response

A: I was wondering if it got there in time

C: This is incredible and way more than what I got you

A: Actually it’s even steven. I looked up how much those poetry collections cost by the way

C: Totally not the same

A: It’s exactly the same.

C: Thank you, Anna

A: You are definitely welcome. So did you get the puppy?

C: We are picking him up on Friday

A: Cool. What did you get?

C; A maltipoo

A: Oh.

C: He is a shelter dog. It sounded like that was something important to you

A: That’s awesome

C; So what are you up to?

A: Nothing. Trying to decide what I’m gonna do for the upcoming two weeks

C: Something new happening?

A: It is my annual office ban.

C: Office ban?

A: My friends and employees got together a few years ago and decided the only way to force me to take time off was to ban me from the office. So they literally take my keys and ban me from coming into work

C: Lol Wow. Are you really a workaholic like that?

A: I like being busy and they hate it

C: Are you busy because you really like your job or you’re hiding?

A: Depends on the day

C: Ah. Do you only take off during this annual ban?

A: Yes

C: Maybe if you got out more, they’d get off your back

A: that’s possible. How was work?

C: I canceled classes today

A: Why?

C: Spring Break starts this week. I usually do classes remotely during the week prior to Spring Break to give my students a longer break but I do keep my office hours so I’ll be on campus Friday, that’s why we’re waiting to get the dog then

A: What do you usually do during a break?

C: Well with the new pet, we’ll probably be getting accustomed to the house but usually we go and visit my sister so Anesa can play with her cousins and such.

A: Does your sister live in NY?

C: Yea, she’s a little further upstate, towards Albany

A: How many additional hours of driving?

C: About another 2 or 3 hours

A: Oh that’s not too bad.

C: Yea. You sound surprised.

A: I was expecting something like away from home vacation

C: I have one scheduled for her birthday in the summer so we’re playing it lowkey for right now

A: Ah, that sounds awesome

C: Why don’t you go on a vacation?

A: I don’t know where I would go. It’s not like I really wanna be around people

C: You could always rent a villa or something and just relax alone

A: That’s true. Any recommendations?

C: Depends on your taste. In the states or another country? Busy or remote? A lot of adventure or quiet activities?

A: Another country. Remote. Quiet.

C: Cannes is nice this time of year especially on the outskirts of the town

A: Cannes, France?’

C: Yea. Is that a problem?

A: No, I’ve always wanted to go there but I never made it

C: Really? I went the year before I got Anesa. Sort of a soul-searching thing

A: How was it?

C: It was beautiful. A nice mix of people and solitude.

A: I might think about it then

C: It is a nice spot for a European vacation

A: Sounds like it. Thanks for the suggestion

C: Not a problem. I can forward you a link to some vacation rentals if you would like

A: That'd be great.

They fell silent for a few moments before Chris started typing again

C: Can I tell you something?

A: Sure.

C: This the closest I’ve ever felt to someone in the last few years. I really appreciate your company

A: That is really sweet, Chris. I appreciate yours as well. It feels good to talk to someone and not feel like I’m crazy or having them think I’m depressed

C: I know the feeling. Sometimes we just have to take our time to get back to where we used to be

A: I don’t think I ever wanna go back to where I used to be

C: You might have to, to get to where you wanna be. Healing has to start at the source

A: And next you’re gonna say that healing hurts

C: It can especially if you have to face some truths that you don’t want to face

A: I guess that’s true.

C: You should really give some deep thought about speaking to your ex or at least to a therapist to get the feelings out. You deserve to be angry and you deserve to be angry at him. Holding it in doesn’t make you as noble as you think.

A: I don’t believe I’m being noble

C: I think you do. I think you think no lashing out makes you more mature when it just makes you more angry. Listen, if he walked away to save you from himself, why are you still letting that torture you?

A: I don’t know

C: Healing isn’t for the other person, it's for you. You deserve to be happy, that’s why you agreed to the divorce, isn’t it? You wanted to be happy too

A: I agreed to the divorce because I didn’t want to face the fact that he didn’t want me

C: So you would’ve stayed?

A: Absolutely. Sometimes you meet a person and they’re just-

C: It. I know.

A: I know something was going on with him, I could feel it but I couldn’t fix it. I didn’t want to be a failure

C: And it wasn’t your job to fix it

A: I could’ve been more supportive.

C: Do you really think that?

A: When he shut down, I shut down too. I can admit that

C: Which is understandable

A: but not helpful. You don’t have to say it

C: Listen, nobody blames you for trying to stay unscathed. Damaged people can be hard to deal with. I know I wasn’t. I was moody and anxious all the time. Never wanted to talk. Never wanted to do anything. That could drive anybody crazy

A: It just about did

C: Anna, you needed to protect yourself. That’s not failure. You should never sacrifice yourself in that manner. In the whole picture, maybe he should’ve been better and actually spoke to you to do better but at the time, his only option may have been to let you go. That’s not failure. That’s survival

A: Boy, am I glad you can’t see me

C: Lol, why you say that?

A: Because I am a crying mess right now

C: Aww...I’m sorry.

A: No, it’s fine. I just never heard it quite like that. Like I knew it wasn’t my job to fix him but I felt so guilty about leaving even though he was pushing me away

C: When you really love and care about someone, that happens. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think so often we get wrapped in our own pain that we don’t realize how our distance affects others. Was he a bad guy prior to then?

A: No, he was the sweetest and funniest person. He just became so cold and empty. Like literally you couldn’t see any life in his eyes

C: Do you think he didn’t love you?

A: He did love me. I could see it breaking him to tell me to leave but it wasn’t strong enough

C: Then that’s what you need to hold on to. There’s nothing wrong with loving him. And there’s nothing wrong with being angry with him either. You have a right to be but you also have the power to deal with it and determine how you react to it.

A; You’re absolutely right

C: I think you really should go on a vacation and just take some time to yourself. Some of the locations out there are remote enough that you could stand outside and scream for hours. You need to release it

A: Then what do I do after that?

C: You live. And be happy. And that doesn’t mean you have to date or fall in love with anyone other than yourself. You don’t have to let your anger be your only connection to him, that’s what your love is for.

A: You still love your ex-wife

C: I do.

A: She was it for you, wasn’t she?

C: She was. Still is.

A: How’d you let go?

C: Physically? I distanced myself. I moved out of our old house, I stayed away from our old friends. Emotionally? I still haven’t learned how to

A: Does that part ever get easier?

C: No but I just try and bury it, which probably isn’t healthy but I can’t have her, you know.

A: Did you ever try?

C: Honestly, I don’t know what to say. Besides, I don’t deserve another chance

A: Isn’t that for her to decide?

C: You’re right.

A: I know you think you’re protecting her but lying, even by omission, never helps. You wanna know what to say? The truth. Tell her everything. That much you do owe her.

C: You’re right

A: Who needs a therapist when we got each other?

C: LOL, you are right again. Thanks for the gifts and your gift

A: My gift?

C: Your friendship. It’s refreshing, haven’t felt like this in a long time

A: You’re very welcome. Same to you.

C: I guess I should let you go then

A: You don’t have to if you don’t want to. What else you wanna talk about?

C: How about your connect for these vinyls?

A: Lol

Omg Daddy, look at all the puppies,” Anesa said as she squeezed his hand with delight, “can I get more than one?

“No. We agreed on one puppy and that’s all.”

“Yes Daddy. Is the one I want here?”

“Yup. The shelter manager says that he’s getting checked out right now and then we’ll be able to take him and go.

“Yay!”

Chris chuckled, “no yelling inside, Nesa.”

“Oops.”

A blonde woman walked over to him with a clipboard, “My name is Alexis. How may we help you?”

“Hi. We have an appointment to pick up a Maltipoo named Shep.”

“He is in the back with our resident vet. She runs the clinic next door. Would you like to come back and see him?”

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all. Follow me.”

Chris and Anesa followed the employee farther back into a vet office. Just as they stopped in the doorway behind Alexis, the doctor looked up.

“Robyn?”

“Chris?”

#chrianna #loveisblindfanfiction

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