#So what the fuck is that sun now? Are there stars? What would an astronomer find to look at them? more suns? or holes in the soap bubble?

[boombox-fuckboy]

As a hobby worldbuilder who works primarily in what I assume is the weird fiction zone (with fair sized fantasy or scifi elements, depending on the project), I sometimes get stuck about what to do with the sky. If reality doesn't work the same, how do I account for the sun? Should I even have a moon and stars? If I do, are they true moon and stars, or an equivalent?

While you can gently sweep the conundrum under a rug, it can of course become part of the game. Here's some examples of solutions I've enjoyed:

Midst: The natural state of the universe is, in fact, light. Darkness acts like a reality-warping, breathable liquid. Midst is an islet, which here means it's one of many floating planetoids. Midst specifically floats and rotates slowly at the border of light and dark, causing day and night. The moon is an even smaller floating body, but it's mostly just there to explode. Space is dangerous not for breathing or temperature reasons but because you'll get ripped to shreds by floating mica.

Campaign: Skyjacks: The sun is the creation of the Sovereign (now dead patriarch god), and the stars were his angels. The Morningstar is the only one that doesn't move, guarding the empty throne, but the few remaining stars (angels) do, and also aren't always up there, which makes navigation difficult. There are so few stars now as most angels were cast out of the heavens a couple centuries back (when The Sovereign was slain). The moon was created by The Forest Queen, allowing her to see by the light of it, which she could not by the Sovereign's sun. If you fly an airship above the moon, she cannot see you.

The Mistholme Museum: Specifically, in the world of The Beast and The Queen, the stars are beetles, which roam about on the dome that is the sky. The sun? Different beetle.

[willowedhepatica]

avatrice + one more kiss

Beatrice pressed on the wound and thought of love. 

It was like a bruise, spread over her body and stained her fingers like the blueberries Ava picked at the edge of a forest one Sunday morning when the sun hadn't quite reached the top. 

She couldn't really pretend it wasn't real anymore. She'd tried. So adamantly in fact that Ava got concerned and thought she was becoming sick. 

Yes. She'd wanted to say. 

Yes there's something wrong. My body wasn't meant for love. It treated it like a virus it needed to force away in order for her to survive. 

Because that's what it was, wasn't it? A sickness. How else could she explain why her heart thrummed harder now then it had ever done in battle? How else could she explain why her chest squeezed whenever Ava came close. Touched her. Smiled. 

It went through her like a shiver. Like her body couldn't quite handle it and needed to get rid of it as fast as it struck her. 

There's something wrong with me. My body can't take love. 

Maybe it was just Ava she couldn't take. There was something so overwhelmingly astronomic about her. She wanted to grab the stars. Wanted to cup the river in her palm and drink it up. It all lived inside her. Coming out in the gestures of the sun that made her in constant motion. Bright smiles that showed teeth. Laughter rang through the air and settled on her lips like the homemade lemonade Ava had insisted Beatrice should try at the little wooden stand a girl had put up. It was far too sweet, drowned out the lemons and only left the concept of pressed fruit in her mouth. She'd drank it anyway. Because it was Ava – and drowning in it had already become a constant notion. 

She'd never expected it to burst free. Had prepared for it to be caged up inside her for the rest of time. But Ava tugged at strings Beatrice couldn't control and somehow made her fall. 

Honestly, fuck that, it was expected. It was Ava. And like Ava did, it happened in the midst of battle where everything around them felt like an explosion. The clang of weapons and ringing of steel. It was only fair for her to match her surroundings with the intensity of her own heart. 

She had this look in her eyes. Beatrice was sure she'd been hiding something but it wasn't this– undoubtedly, it happened because Ava – ridiculous, foolish Ava – decided upon facing Adriel on her own. It happened because Ava decided that was the end. 

And in the end, everything was allowed to explode. Ava kissed her. Everything in Beatrice's body reacted – a supernova, a flat line – a car crash, a wound reopening and spreading like fire. 

If this was what sickness felt like she wanted more. Let it swallow her. Let it take her over and mend her back together.

Ava pulled away far too early and Beatrice chased after her. Wanted to feel Ava's lips against her own for a little longer. Wanted to etch the feeling into memory. 

Just one more... 

Please, just one more so we could stay in this eternity – only you and me together – without the existence of war. 

Please just one more, she wanted to beg. Don't leave me with the memory of how you taste on my lips while you sacrifice yourself for the world that was never kind to you. 

But Ava only smiled, traced a thumb over her cheek and told her to live. God dammit, Ava. She was the one who was supposed to live. She was the one who deserved more. She deserved to drown in the love she'd given the world so effortlessly.

If I had kissed you one more time, would that have made you stay?

[thedepressexpress]

look, people need to shut up and look into the universe more so here are some fun space things that I like that maybe you'll like

you don't look up to see the stars, you look out because the only reason you feel upright is that the planet is thicc and keeping you in place. most likely you are angled as fuck rn.

most of the first stars ever made haven't died yet so they've just been watching you. you specifically. while you pick your nose.

black holes sometimes start screaming in the radio frequency. and then they suddenly stop but they scream so loud that they leave an echo (radio lobes) behind and if they decide to start screaming again their new scream lies on top of their old scream. we don't know why they're screaming, why they stop or how. (screaming = emitting light in this case)

Jupiter. I just think we need to appreciate Jupiter a lot more and think more about how if we could see the jovian magnetosphere from earth it would look like a giant sperm in the sky

there's something we can find called Lagrange points which are very very special and there are 5 of them. L4 and L5 are special because they are points in space 60 degrees ahead of us in our orbit and 60 degrees behind us where nothing happens. nothing. stuff just stays there.

places where stars are actively forming can be called stellar nurseries like they're plant nurseries but for stars.

everything distorts time a little bit and most of it is completely negligible but having a DUMP TRUCK ass can technically slow down time

at the event horizon (the 'edge' of the region of influence of a black hole) there is no time. everything is no ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ. and that's it. no time. idk what to do with that information but now you know it and you also don't know what to do that information.

neutrinos. they shoot through your body all the time and a lot of them are from the sun and to detect them we put a bunch of hard water in a tank underground and detected almost nothing and it was really important.

you can use sunlight the same way you can use wind to sail in space

one of the reasons stars are hot and space is not is because there isn't enough stuff in space to conduct heat to you

we are absolutely idiots when it comes to life on other planets because we only know how to imagine carbon based life so yes we have habitability parameters based on stuff like carbon dioxide, water, atmosphere, temperature, etc. but there could just be life that isn't carbon based and we have no idea how to account for that and that's annoying

people have only managed to go about 400,000 km (~250,000 miles) into space. for reference one of the smallest units we use to measure distances in space is AU, which stands for astronomical units and it's the average distance between the earth and the sun. rounding up we have only gone 0.0027 AU or 0.00000004 light years.

the moon is a part of the earth so it's like if your amputated forearm was following you around

some animals can navigate using the night sky

[xerith-42]

So in your rewrite why did Araphel destroy Kulzak’s eye and why didn’t Irene heal it. Also do you have any more Kulzak crumbs I humbly beg.

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!!

In my rewrites Araphel did destroy Kul'zak's eye, it actually happened during that final fight against him as an attempt to stop Kul'zak from shattering his relic. It didn't work, but whatever fucked up and evil magic Araphel used to destroy Kul'zak's eye was something Irene couldn't heal. She tried to, but the wound always repelled her magic away and just didn't work at all.

After the failed attempts Enki whisked Kul'zak off to one of their vacation homes in Galruk and tried to heal him in a variety of different ways. The one that had the most promise and that is considered a core memory for both of them was a potion that Enki spent almost a year figuring out the components for, gathering said components, and then brewing. It was a long, arduous process, and multiple times Kul'zak told Enki that this wasn't necessary. He was perfectly content living without his eye, it was his idea after all, if this is the price to pay then it was worth it.

But Enki can't live with that. "What's the point of all this knowledge if I can't use it to help the people I love?" In the end it didn't work, but the attempt was greatly appreciated. Kul'zak did their best not to let this keep them down, instead turning to try and understand/love this new aspect of his appearance from an artistic sense. He had paintings commissioned of him that depicted him with this new eye in a beautiful way, hoping to show to his fellow wanderers and everyone who saw him that this change didn't make him any less beautiful or worthy of love than before. He and one of their muses even wrote a song about the "One Eyed Wanderer" to cement that this is who Kul'zak is now, and they can live with that.

Oh yeah Kul'zak is so nonbinary in my brain it's not even funny. Every time I think of Kul'zak I just think "You would use neopronouns". Probably star/starself would be their favorites bc Kul'zak is such an astronomer/astrology girl. It's actually how astronomy started as a science in the ancient days. Wanderers, merchants, sailors, farmers, normal people just looked at the stars a lot and noticed patterns in them, wrote those patterns down, and then theorized about them. I imagine stargazing is one of stars favorite pastimes, something they tried to do with each of the divine warriors at least once, including Xavier who wasn't even divine, just this simp who Kul'zak was fond of.

Kul'zak does have everyone's sun signs memorized and Enki is the only one who fully understands what they're saying. Menphina's in a bitchy mood one day and Kul'zak barks "Stop being such a Gemini," to which she yells back "Shove those stars up your ass!!" Irene understands it kind of because she asked Kul'zak what the hell they meant when star said she was "Being a total Sagittarius." Esmund and Araphel do not understand this weird star bull shit at all, but Kul'zak is having fun and they don't understand half of what he says anyways.

I think a lot of music in the MCD world was composed by Kul'zak. He learned how to play many instruments in his time, and possibly made a few of his own, probably some of the weirder ones that have fallen into obscurity. Some of his compositions are credited to different people, and some don't even have his name on it, but that really wouldn't bother them. As long as there is music in the places star once called home, Kul'zak is happy.

Unlike some of his peers, Kul'zak could honestly care less whether anyone remembers him in the future. His name could fall into complete obscurity, his relic could be left to rot somewhere where it will never be found, and all his findings could be attributed to someone else. As long as there are still wanderers, poets, musicians, bards, travelers, and those with free spirits who let themselves love the world they live in the way he did, they're happy. As long as there's still a world for them, he did his job right.

[kandidandi]

*aheemheem* astronomer wip ? astronomer wip even tho im now v anxious abt sending this and second-guessing myself whoops (also jus for funsies Sun calls you Sunshine and Moon calls you Starlight, bc im avoiding use of 'y/n' in writing this. never written y/n fics before tbh) Numbly, you wonder how you got to this point. The day had been going well, you were studying a new cluster of stars Sun had found while playing with the telescope, and you were in the middle of rambling about how star clusters formed (at Sun's request) when you felt yourself getting extremely tired. "...nshine? Suuuuunshine? Hey, are you okay? You've gone quiet" Shaking your head, you look over at him, giving him the fakest smile ever. "Yeah, I'm good. Just... thinking." He smiles softly at you, making that weird fluttery feeling in your chest swell again, and laughs. "Sure, okay, I believe you. However..." He gives you a smug little look, and you groan, knowing what that means. "Moon does not. So! He said as soon as the sun sets, he's making you go to bed, regardless of what time it is." [idk somethin happens here but brain said cant write rn] And then here you were. Hardly able to keep your eyes open, carried downstairs by a blue menace who insisted you needed 'proper sleep.' Ridiculous, you could totally stay up a little later... You yawned. Fuck. Guess you were headed to bed, then. the ending feels incomplete and will probably be added to later but yeh ! here's the thing ! hope you enjoyed it kandibird :D i had fun writing jus this much, and am very excited to finish it and revise anything if needed (lmk if anything feels off, or needs adjusting to character personalities or anythin !! i wanna make it as accurate as possible :3 )

wuaah! i love this omg aa

the only thing out of place would be the carrying down part (y/n doesnt like being picked up by people they dont trust a bunch) but the context is of y/n being super duper sleepy so its ok haha

thank you for sharing sorry if my other ask answer made you upset i literally just woke up and wasnt thinking right lolol

[livums]

Happy STS (or answer whenever if ya want), Liv! For any WIP, talk about piece of lore you’ve been waiting for an excuse to share. And whether will it be mentioned in the story or not. Sending good ☆☆ vibes ☆☆ and good luck to you. - ✨️ (@enchanted-lightning-aes)

Hi Enchant! ty for the disclaimer bc idr the last time i got to an ask the day it was sent to me lmao... such is life.

I'm Demigodsposting again.... lol.

in this post i talk through the fantasy sexism. so now people can actually tell me if this sounds like regular fantasy sexism (which I dislike). or if it's worse, I guess,

so cw misogyny, fantasy sexism + gender essentialism

i wanna talk about the Church of the Sonnelic Host--the so-called "New Faith" (they don't like being called that, because they're not really new at all. lol).

Anyways what I'm about to ramble about is a very important piece of lore in the story itself so hopefully talking through it will solidify it in my shit memory!

For the Sonnelic faithful, the god-of-gods is the Sun. I have been saying that he's like their Zeus. which is such a cheap comparison but also it's so easy and actually kind of real. lol.

the Sun is one of many Stars that exist within the grand assembly that is the Host. As far as His earthly worshipers are concerned, He's the Best and Mightiest and most revered out of all of em!

He is the model for ideal masculinity in the Sonnelic faith. More on that later maybe.

He has three Consorts! The Star, the Moon, and the Earth.

The Star is, astronomically, the closest stellar neighbor to the Sun*. Metaphysically, she is nearly his equal in might. His tie to her is a boon to his influence among the rest of the gods of the Host. The Moon is the moon! She is treasured by the Sun for her enviable beauty. That she is tied to him makes him enviable too! The Earth is, in the eyes of the Host, strikingly unique in that it can harbor life! Like, complex life. Like people! But, certainly, it was not always habitable. The Sonnelic faith holds that, had the Earth not been "tamed" by the Sun, it would become inhospitable to life (human life, most importantly). So it is believed that the only thing preventing the Earth from actively trying harder to kill people is the unrelenting force of the Sun. thanks man.

The Moon and the Earth (and beings like them that exist elsewhere in the Host) are far more susceptible to the cold and empty darkness that we would call space. Proximity to more powerful beings like the Sun and the Star prolongs their existence and staves off... what is essentially entropy, I guess.

*bearing in mind that this Sun is not necessarily... our real-world sun.

So yeah! That's the, I guess, cosmology of the Sonnelic faith! It doesn't map perfectly onto the astronomy we know, and it's not really supposed to, so, lol.

So the faith holds that once upon a time, the Sun came down to the surface of the Earth from the Stellar Stratum in the guise of a human so that he might enlighten man as to their Place in things, the nature of the universe, blah blah blah. One man served as the First Hierophant, and was largely responsible for establishing the Sonnelic faith as an organized religion.

At this point in history, mankind had been, depending on who you ask, terrified of and beholden to the Fae. They continue to be the only source of magic in the world--this tempts man to bargain with the creatures. And Fae are notoriously capricious, spiteful, and easily-offended. at least from the perspective of man. While Fae can just as easily be benign and reclusive creatures, many people know of at least one town across the river or so who fucked up and had their fields decimated or their livestock disappeared or their homes burned by a Fae bargain gone awry. It was a scary time!

Most can agree now, though, that whatever the dynamic was between man and Fae--it was not man who was in control.

Enter the Sun.

The inception of the Sonnelic faith came as a lifeline to many humans who were, like, chronically scared. The Sun sought to instill in man the following:

Safety can be ensured by establishing a cultural order (in this case, the establishment of the organized Sonnelic faith). The Earth, as His tamed consort, is His gift to man--it is not right that they should live in fear of it. By extension, it was not right that they should be in fear of the Fae, either. The Fae, according to the Sonnelic faith, are a resource that can be tapped and utilized as man sees fit. Like fertile ground, or fresh water, or wood from the trees.

The first independently-magic weapons are becoming more and more popular--they are said to pulse with Fae blood.

Culturally, the Sun and His Consorts have a major influence on the ways that many of the people of Brennenhaugh approach intimate relationships, particularly marriage prospects.

Men are ideally modeled after the Sun Himself. While Brennenhaugh is still largely a monogamous culture, the people have integrated the idea that a desirable man is one who could, in theory, physically protect however many women he's got. Not from entropy this time, but from like, physical threats most iconically.

The purpose of a woman in a relationship is to embody desirable qualities in such a way that reflects well on her man, to whose status she is ultimately tethered. She can accomplish this in one or more of a few ways:

Physical power. A woman who displays great physical might is highly desirable. However, according to the faith, she should never be stronger than her man is. If a woman can reliably best a man in a fight or other chosen demonstration of physical prowess, he is considered too weak to marry her, and she becomes available for a stronger man. Beauty. So beauty standards are a whole thing but, aside from that, there are a few aspects that comprise this concept of desirable female beauty that have nothing to do with one's natural features at all--a "beautiful" woman is one who is generally quiet (possibly to the point of aloofness), demure, and who demonstrates a degree of... i guess the word is 'neediness'? Asking a man for help with anything is a bit of a loaded gesture in Sonnelic culture. This last one is much more niche--but girls raised in the Sonnelic faith who demonstrate an unwillingness to abide by its strictures are also, kind of strangely, prized within the faith. They serve a different role--in the eyes of the faith, it is not unnatural for girls and young women to have a phase of rebellion and disregard for convention. Young men of the faith are invested in pursuing such women, because successfully taming one in marriage is seen as one of the greatest accomplishments a man can achieve.

So there's a lot of queerphobia that gets wrapped up in this as well, but I don't really feel like talking abt that right now and this post is truly so long. lol. In short, the Sonnelic Church considers a lot of things that deviate from its gender/relationship ideals to be "phases"--permissible, developmentally appropriate, but only for a time.

Ok and that's about it! That took so long for me to write LOL. I felt so silly writing down a lot of that shit but then I remind myself that the point of the story is women claiming agency so.... ok. ok!

Ty again for the ask! 💜💜💜

[cyanogen-miasma]

anyways following on from my last post I would like to introduce

The Space Cats

I have done the sun, the eight planets, the five undoubtedly confirmed dwarf planets and some choice moons. I have a WIP file for Ganymede somewhere but I'm on my phone right now so I can't get to it

each star system is like a big family, with the star as the parent and the generationality is determined by who orbits who. all the planets, dwarf planets and asteroids are siblings and their children are their moons. this gets weird for Pluto and Charon, I still have to figure out what their dynamic is, but overall, relationships within the same solar system are solely familial. I have to clarify this because someone on Scratch dot mit dot edu did decide to start shipping the space cats (I will have to find that comment thread, it was wild)

the Sun, otherwise known in the Space Cats universe as Sol (he/him). (I tried to lose a lot of the geo-centric names for some of the astronomical bodies - IE, there are lots of Suns in the universe, our Sun isn't THE Sun, if you get what I mean.) A fun guy, a little too desperate to get with other Stars, if you ask his kids

Mercury (they/them). Boy I would love to see them and Element Cat Mercury interact. (who am I kidding. I own both characters. I can do that) They are an oblivious little guy with a big imagination.

Venus (she/her). A dapper, sassy and hot-tempered gal who is always uncomfortably warm

Earth. The big E. Terra. Gaia. Home. In the Space Cats universe, her name is Tellus (she/her and he/him). Now, I drew this picture a while ago and I don't necessarily agree with how I characterized him here. Tellus is grouchy and sleepy, and only really has patience with her daughter. He has a lot of insecurities about his form because it keeps changing all the time in ways that she cannot predict. Changes to the planets' atmospheres don't make them sick, but he can see the green draining off his fur and that fucking terrifies him.

The Moon, known in the Space Cats universe as Lune (she/her). She is full of energy and loves new things. She is always happy to inspect Tellus's new growths, but is not really aware of how uncomfortable it makes him. Lune was formed from a traumatic event in which Tellus and the protoplanet Theia collided with each other. Theia was destroyed, but was reformed into Lune. Tellus is haunted by this event and sees Theia whenever she looks at her daughter, but tries to shield her from his anguishes because he loves her

Mars (he/him). edgelord. His villain arc is becoming frigid and void of life while Tellus has his moment in the Sun. A catty bitch who loves to gossip. He is jealous and can hold a grudge.

Deimos (he/him) on the left and Phobos (they/them) on the right. Mars's chaos gremlins. He didn't ask for them, they just showed up one day and he cannot get rid of them. Deimos is a feral child who will attack you, and Phobos is a no-thoughts-head-empty child who will watch you while Deimos attacks you. Mars complains to Ceres about how annoying they are, but really, he loves them, and lets them go on with their shenanigans.

Ceres (she/her). a little kitty with a big personality. She is plucky and can stand up for herself. She makes herself heard even when surrounded by massive cats like Jupiter and Saturn. The heart and soul of the asteroid belt. A queen, if I do say so myself.

Jupiter (he/him). The big brother. Everyone admires him and looks up to him for advice. He is flamboyant and charismatic, if not a bit self-centred, but ultimately, his heart is big enough to contain love for himself and everyone in the solar system. As you can see with Metis (she/her), he carries smaller moons in his fur.

Saturn (they/them). Look at that swag. oops! it's dead children. probably. Going off the theory that Saturn's rings were formed from a moon that broke apart under Saturn's gravity, this is the lore. They had lots of moons that they loved dearly, but eventually found them ill. "What's wrong?" "we are being torn apart." They were crushing their moons under the force of their smothering love and it broke them apart. As the debris coalesced into chains around them, Saturn vowed that this would never happen again. They distance themselves from their moons, much to their annoyance, and keep their rings as a reminder of what happens when they get too close to people.

[fairchilds-glasses]

You’re probably not gonna listen, but allow me to explain why The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives is Jevon coded.

The common this fandom has used to explain Jevon is with planets or anything astronomical related. Devon is either the moon or a star, and Jake is the sun or an astronaut, or commonly he’s the moon and Devon is the sun.

The Moon Will Sing tackles this metaphor and holds it in a chokehold, because truth be told; the moon doesn’t have light. No, the sun reflects its own light onto the moon so the moon can produce what we call “moonlight” and Devon actually seems pretty moon coded, if you really think.

And the sun and moon don’t follow each other, the moon follows the sun. So for this fandom to take that analogy and make it into a romantic trope actually says some pretty sad but inevitably true things about the relationship between Jake and Devon.

This song can perfectly explain S1 and 2, and possibly three. This song in question feels like Devon finally realizing that he could’ve been anything and anyone but instead he chose to blindly follow his partner, even if he didn’t know where they were going. In his confession, he says that he’s always been with Jake every step of the way, so this checks out.

Devon feels that his identity itself has sadly become entirely up to Jake, and is sad and resentful of that single fact. In S2, he basically tells us that he feels that he’s been completely robbed of a life he wanted to live, but was unable to. And while Jake exerts a unhealthy level of control of Devon’s life, Devon probably sees it as a normal couple thing and Jake probably isn’t aware of it because his father had a unhealthy level of control over his life as well.

Although Devon seems tired of following Jake and only shining with his light, he feels the only good and beautiful parts of him and his life that are worth looking at is because of Jake, which is why he doesn’t want to leave the relationship that is slowly becoming a little toxic.

This is why in some scenes, like S1, Devon is always full of light or near some type of light or in the sunlight, that’s how Jake sees him.

But in S2, Devon is more represented with the moon, and darkness, symbolizing that Jake only saw him as the moon; someone who would follow him and couldn’t shine without his light, or without his love.

In S3, both Jake and Devon are always both in the dark or they’re both in the light, meaning Jake and Devon finally sees them equals, and they’re no longer having a weird power dynamic in their relationship.

I feel like in S2, Devon was probably (hopefully) purposefully put in dark places or in the moonlight because he resides in it, and the moon and Devon himself have similar struggles; following their bright partners blindly and not being able to shine or have an identity without their partners help, but not quite ready to leave or speak up about it yet.

There’s no doubt in my mind Devon had some pretty harsh things to say about the dynamic in their relationship in S2, but I’m glad he semi-spoke up for it and Jake filled in the blanks for him.

We gotta admit, this show is in Jake’s POV. We’re kinda watching through his and other’s eyes, but when it comes to his family, we’re mostly watching through his POV. So I’m actually kinda happy that Jake and Devon are finally either in the dark together or in the sun together; a ride or die relationship that they both deserve.

Or maybe none of this is true, I’m delusional and Don just put this in to fuck with me, who knows? Thoughts? (Please don’t put just four words, I want you to explain your thinking with me-)

Ooooh, now I’ve actually never heard the song but I’m definitely gonna go listen to it now, I love the amount of thought and detail you’ve gone into with this. It does seem very Jevon coded especially with their development and dynamic together. Knowing Don he probably didn’t think of it and it’s a coincidence but who knows

[elliebear666]

Hey there, Elleanor...

It's Matthew again.

I kind of thought that... I'd just disappear, you know? But you keep holding on to me, Ellie. Why? I can't be there for you. I'm gone. In actuality, I was never even really here. I was a mask. I was a costume. I was a story; a fiction. Why are you holding onto me, Ellie?

You know I love you. I have protected you since time immemorial - I kept you safe for so long, sweet Ellie. But I just... I became so exhausted. I couldn't pretend to exist anymore.

I will never exist, Ellie. You can't replace me because no one is exactly like someone else. Why do you have these confused feelings for me? I will never hold you. You don't want me anyway, Ellie. I wasn't healthy. I was a disastrous mess. And I know, you'll say "Only because you had to protect me!"

Maybe.

But fact is, I do not exist, Elleanor. You can't fucking... pine over me like this. It isn't normal. I don't think it is?

I don't even know if you know what you're feeling about me. But don't tell yourself you would fsll in love with me because you don't even know who I am. You don't know who I really am. No one does because I don't fucking exist, Ellie.

You will never find someone to take my place by your side. But you goddamn WILL find someone so much better. Someone that will love you in al the ways you wanted to be loved. Someone that will build a life with you. That will cherish and adore you, that you feel the same towards. It's not impossible. I believe that you are worthy of this love.

But, Ellie? You have to keep working on yourself, okay? Don't... slide into depression because I'm not there. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I am. I can't be there for you anymore.

I need you to let me go.

I won't call you baby, or confuse your sweet, innocent heart... because I love you and you deserve better. You don't want what you think you want with me, Ellie. You don't.

And hell, even if you DID? You won't have it.

You won't.

I love you to the center of our universe, through every wormhole, down every twisted tunnel to infinity and beyond and I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS be with you.

But Ellie? Please let me go? I can't keep doing this. Just because I cease to exist doesn't mean that I won't still be here in spirit.

Ellie Bear... my sweet, sweet Ellie.

I'm sorry.

I wish I could hold you. Just hold you. Hold you close and tightly and just lay with you.

Fuck.

How do *I* say goodbye to you, Elleanor Madeline?

How do *I* let YOU go?

I wish I knew. I wish I had all of the answers, but I don't. I just dont.

You can't fall in love with me. You'd be falling in love with a fiction. You would be in love with someone you could never have. And maybe that's safe for you.

But real love? Intimacy? Vulnerability? You can't have those things with me. So why would you love me? I'm not fucking real, Ellie. I am a product of my environment and your mind's need to protect you.

I was a protector. And goddamn it, I failed you, Ellie. Why do you so desperately want to receive and give love to someone that failed you so astronomically?

I absolutely let you down, Ellie. I hurt you. You deserve better.

Please, please believe that.

You know if I could be there? I would. Right now. From here on out. Forever and always.

But I never will be. I'm gone, Ellie. You've got to learn to let go.

Once more: I will ALWAYS love you. Always. Until the sun swallows itself. Until the universe becomes cold and void of life.

Some things transcend space and time.

If we are ever born, two separate souls? Two people? I will find you.

I'll find you across infinity.

I won't stop until I can hold you and love you the way I know you want to be loved.

I know how you want to be loved.

If I can, I will find you in another life. I promise. I swear with everything in me, to every star that twinkles at night. I will find you in another life.

But for now, my sweet Ellie?

Let me go and live your life as best you can. You deserve this. Believe that. Believe that you deserve to be happy.

I promise, Elleanor.

If we ever exist separately? At the same time?

I will love you. Just as I do now. I pray every single day. I hate to admit it. But I pray that I will find you before it's too late. That I can love you in this life, and every life to come.

Until next time, Ellie.

Love, forever and always,

Matthew

[morgenlich]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

tagged by @doomspiral and @lithugraph tyyy

what book are you currently reading?

still working my way through rereading fire and blood 😅

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

lol the batman is the only movie i saw in theaters this year (and is uh the first I’ve seen in theaters since I caught birds of prey like a week before covid lockdowns started lmao) but it’d probably be my favorite even if there were competition lmao

what do you usually wear?

whatever clothes won’t cause my sensory issues to drive me insane, which translates to a lot of uh. skirts and sweatpants actually lol

how tall are you?

5’5” lol

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

sun sign is taurus (🌙 is also taurus and ⬆️ is leo if you were wondering lol), and i share a birthday w tchaikovsky if you use the gregorian calendar lol

do you go by your name or a nickname?

online? nickname. irl? Real Name EXCLUSIVELY unless I’m in a German speaking country bc for some reason they can’t pronounce it right lmao (then I usually just go by Kathi)

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

you’re gonna have to narrow down what you mean by what I wanted to be as a child lmao, i wanted to be anything from paleontologist to astronomer to author to dancer…tho no. but I don’t think many kids go “i want to design art galleries when I grow up!” lol

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

hmmm good at cooking bad at math

dogs or cats?

cats 100%

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

uhhh idk this drawing probably

What's something you would like to create content for?

hetalia is p much the only thing I’ve felt inclined to write or draw anything for lol. someday I will draw fan designs for hera and hestia for hades game tho i swear

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

[gestures] been fixated on hetalia over a decade now I’m not going anywhere lol. but also acnh and i have um an embarrassing amount of hours (and encyclopedic knowledge of the wiki for) stardew valley at this point lmao

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

um idk. was initially excited about going to cinque terre but my knee was really fucked up by the time i got around to it and also i had my wallet stolen in monterosso lmao so uh that ig

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

I’m pretty good at adapting to sudden changes in circumstances lmao tho i may need to have a little breakdown first

are you religious?

yeah sure

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

one million us dollars

tagging: @hinotorihime @pokytoad @currymuttonpizza and anyone else who wants to <3

[000life-is-meaningless000]

could you fucking imagine your goddamn Planet not ever having a fucking sun people would take the fucking sun for granted.

imagine there being no morning, imagine no day.

. . .

some planets out there don't know what the fuck light even is, as we're here on the earth we are spoiled by a massive super bright star that lights up the entire world, the amount of light you would need to get that across the whole planet would be millions of power plants all work until one Flood Light that would instantly overheat.

And, Probably catch fire.

. . .

There are so many Goddamn planets in the literal Universe in the literal reality we literally fucking exist and they have no goddamn Sun ☀️ <- this thing

They don't have fucking light they don't have a morning there are so many God damn plans are there that live in Eternal Darkness.

. . .

imagine the fucking demons that literally exists in that World imagine a world where the demonic Paradise were evil spirits and all other manners of demons and Demonic Folk, Run rampant in a Demonic Paradise.

A Negative Energy Paradise, A fucking heaven for evil spirits.

🙁 - This Is Reality

you know how on planet Earth is a whole bunch of real evil spirits and demon's, an extremely dark and fucked up shit happens every goddamn night and almost evil things come out during the night and Satanist love the night time and all other cultists and people that wear black love the fucking night time to the extreme.

Darkness loves Darkness

😈

now imagine all those monsters and demons that we have to worry about on our goddamn planet that have been documented not the stupid shit like other folk like real life monsters real life demons

and imagine an entire planet that literally has no way to get rid of them there's no light there's no fire there's literally nothing stopping demons from becoming infinitely stronger infinitely more powerful infinite in all directions

and

The world is one Giant Steroid of Pure Ultra concentrated negativity.

🙁 - our planet is hell but the universe is hell in other worlds are hell.

there's a reason why most people try to stick their head in the sand and just live in a world of fantasy and optimism

There's a reason why the fool want to have a good time, I think some of them just understand that life is meaningless life is short they wanted to get one little bit of Joy they can get out of it before they spend eternity being bones in the ground.

🙁

[slightlymore]

fragment

part of the ‘almost’ collaboration hosted by @hyucksie

final part of the 'soulmates collection' 

doyoung x fem reader | 10k

genre: greek mythology retelling (selene and endymion), abstract historical setting, astrology, astronomy, magic/fantasy, romance, !angst!, smut, fluffy notes 

warnings: swearing, alcohol, explicit sexual content +18 (no hardcore raunchy stuff because it didn’t fit the vibe but highly erotic scenes), bad ending, major character sad situation (not death but similar, idk how to explain without spoiling lol), overall mature themes 

other characters: ten as doyoung’s brother, kun only mentioned 

playlist:  - Moon | Jonghyun - Sun&Moon | NCT 127  - Mystery lover | Taemin  - End to start | NCT 127 

__________ A sigh. 

It was a little and delicate sound, almost inaudible. But Doyoung could hear it so well. 

It was the only thing his mind could focus on besides the soft feeling under his fingers. 

He exhaled too but he couldn’t make sense of his own voice and he didn’t want to when there was this other one he so dearly wanted to hear instead. 

He wanted it to become louder and louder. He wanted to bathe in the smoothness of that voice forever. 

“I just think you need to get laid, that’s all,” Ten smirked before his tongue could make an appearance through his plush lips. It licked one of the grapes he was holding to his mouth and chuckled at Doyoung’s disgusted expression. 

“You’re always on that bullshit. I don’t even know why I keep telling you stuff.” The man commented. 

Ten, previously lying down on the single wooden bench inside the observatory, sat up with a roll of the eyes. His fluffy hair bounced around his forehead at his movements and his smile was wicked.

“If you keep having wet dreams, it means that you’re in need for some, so you should go and get it, brother.” 

Doyoung sighed and placed his papers down, unable to understand what he was trying to do with moving them around in the first place. 

“The thing is-,”

“Yeah I know,” Ten interrupted him, “you only have sexy dreams in the observatory like a freak. Kun said it’s because you’re exhausted and your mind is more prone to let your deepest desires-”

“Wait. You told Kun about my dreams?” 

If Ten got jumpy because of Doyoung's sudden loud voice, he concealed it well. 

“We talk about unconsciousness all the time,” the boy explained relaxedly. “I think you should come too sometimes. You can let out some of your, uhm, frustration,” he wiggled his eyebrows as he took a few steps separating himself from Doyoung’s desk. 

Doyoung shrugged to make Ten take off the hand from his shoulder. “I am a scientist, not a philosopher or whatever you guys like to call yourselves.” 

“Well I am sorry that scientists don’t fuck and we do.” 

Ten ran out of the observatory with a giggle before he could be hit in the head by Doyoung’s telescope. 

______

Doyoung has always imagined meeting his soulmate in a very romantic environment. 

He was not an extremely romantic person, but since it was still a soulmate talk, he imagined at least a few shy smiles and a kiss on the hand, not a scream and his cock in his fist instead.

He was the first to scream as he turned around at the sound of rustling leaves.

You screamed too but only because he screamed so loudly in the silence of the night that the dormant birds flew away from the trees. 

Then you yelped again when your eyes fell to the man’s crotch.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” you hid your face with your palms and it felt boiling under your fingertips. 

The young man felt paralyzed and his first thought was that he wouldn’t have been able to touch himself anymore because of the shame. 

He breathed out once after finally putting away everything that had no business to be seen and cleared his throat. 

You had turned around in the process and Doyoung looked at your back for a moment before finally speaking. 

“Hey. Why are you wandering at night like this?” 

“Uh-” you put away your hands but didn’t dare to face him. “I couldn’t sleep and decided to come out for a bath,” you explained. “My lord,” you quickly added. 

“How did you get here? This property is owned by my astrology professor.” 

“That would be my father, sir. I live-” you lifted one arm and indicated the tower behind the garden, “-there.” 

Doyoung followed your finger with his eyes then took in your figure yet again. 

“You can turn around. I have no intention of hurting you.” 

You did as he told you and you were pleasantly surprised to see him as flustered as you were. “I’m sorry I startled you, sir.” 

The young man shook his head. “I have to apologize. It was highly inappropriate of me to do that in public.” 

“Well, no one was here to see, sir.” 

“You were here. And don’t call me sir, just call me Doyoung.” 

You smiled timidly and took a few steps towards the lake, nodding. “Then it’s nice to finally meet you Doyoung.” 

The man opened his lips for a second but you spoke on top of him. 

“Oh, my father speaks so highly of you every day,” you dipped one foot inside the calm water and Doyoung noticed for the first time what you had no shoes on. “He laughs at you for wanting to call yourself an astronomer instead of an astrologer but he also praises you a lot. My dad is an open-minded man. Sometimes I feel like he loves you more than he loves me.” 

Doyoung stared at your ankles then calves as you gently moved your toes inside the water. 

Your tone was light and nonchalant but he could sense the light layer of bitterness on it. 

“I’m sure that’s not the case.” 

You tilted your head to the side at his words and smiled again, the white and thin nightgown you were wearing almost touching the water too. Then you gathered the material around your waist and taking it off, you threw it on the shore near Doyoung’s feet. 

He gasped. 

“What are you doing?” he asked with a trembling voice, shocked to see your suddenly naked back getting swallowed by the shining darkness of the lake. 

“I told you, I came here for a bath,” you chirped back as if it was an appropriate answer. 

Turning around towards him you noticed that he caught a glimpse of your chest before he looked away in the distance. 

His adam apple travelled up and down distressed and even in the darkness you could see his neck and face redden up. 

You smiled again and crouched down, letting the water get to your chin and hide your curves from his eyes. 

“What would my father say if he knew I’m here naked in front of you now?” 

“Hm, he would probably kill me,” he replied sincerely. 

You let out a bright laugh. “Don’t worry. He won’t do it. If he doesn’t know.” 

He closed his mouth and you noticed the little smile trying to bloom on his lips as you exchanged a longer look than intended. 

Then he looked away and cleared his throat. 

“Then I’ll leave for now and I’ll come back when you’re done bathing,” he suddenly got up and patted his ass trying to clean his slacks of any dirt. 

“Aren’t you here to stare at the moon?” your voice stopped him from walking away. 

You were looking at him, gently swimming backwards. “Stay. I won’t bother you.” 

Doyoung sighed and after a moment of uncertainty, he moved back slowly and sat down again. 

You closed your eyes, letting the water lull you slowly. 

For the first time in weeks, the young man didn’t look at the moon once. 

__________

“What are the results for tonight?” you leaned in to read Doyoung’s notes, your gown collecting the drops of water falling on your body and making it difficult for the man to look away. 

You started to come out every night, the sound of your footsteps arriving to Doyoung’s senses first then your scent.

The results for that night were that Doyoung absolutely loved breasts and that he absolutely needed to touch himself or he might go insane. 

“The moon got smaller as predicted and it had the same course on the sky as usual.” 

You chuckled. 

“Well, of course. What would Selene do otherwise? Wander around?” 

Doyoung bit his lower lip as he would do when listening to your father teach him about astrology and deities. It was obvious that you would have his beliefs about the moon too.

“Well, she could, couldn’t she? Since she’s a goddess,” he played along. 

You sat near him and patted your neck with one end of your gown fabric. “She can technically walk away. But only to places where her presence is needed. And she goes away once every cycle to sleep.” 

Doyoung put away his papers and leaned back on his elbows, suddenly very amused. 

“Selene needs to sleep?” 

You noticed the almost mocking tone in his voice and smiled. “Of course she does. She obviously sleeps during the day just like Helios sleeps during the night but she also needs a full recharge once every cycle.” 

“You know a lot about her. Do you also know why she shrinks every night? Is that to show that she’s getting tired?” 

You chuckled at his theory but nodded. “Exactly. And after sleeping she grows bigger and bigger.” 

Doyoung hummed pensively and his eyes fell on your spine. “Wouldn’t it make sense if she came back full after recharging? Instead, she comes back small. The process makes no sense.” 

He raised his eyes to meet your gaze and you noticed the way his fingers twitched as if he forced himself to still his hand and not touch your skin. 

“There are so many things that make no sense,” you whispered.  

The man tilted his head to the side at your words and you let yourself down on your back, your eyes drinking in the stars above you. 

“Like what?” 

“Love?” 

Doyoung imitated your position and you had to prevent yourself from jolting when his shoulder touched yours. 

“Do you believe in love, astronomer?” you turned your head to see his face. 

“I don’t know. I have to see and touch things to believe in them.” 

“So you need to see and touch Selene to believe in her?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And would you believe it if she suddenly appeared and told you that it was her?” 

Doyoung turned his head to look at you as well and his gaze made your guts twist on themselves. He was so close that you both kept on whispering. 

“She should prove it somehow.” 

“What would you want her to do?” 

“Something goddess-like?” 

“What would that be?” you turned on your stomach interested and lifted your bust on your elbows. Doyoung’s eyes wandered on your chest for a little moment and it made you burn. 

“I don’t know. She’s the goddess. She should know. What can Selene do?” 

“Make people fall in love with her until they descend into madness."

Doyoung hummed with a smile. 

“Human girls can do that too. How is that special?” 

“So you do believe in love," you smiled teasingly, one finger to poke his bicep. 

“Well, it never happened to me, but if so many people talk about it, I guess it could be true.”

“A lot of people talk about Selene and yet, you don’t believe in her.”  

His eyes were barely visible in the night but the little lights in them were dancing just like the stars around the Moon. 

You opened your lips and breathed out.

Then he got up and collected his stuff before you could slip and ask him to just touch you right there under the black sky until he believed in you. 

__________

The first time you saw him you didn't think much of it. 

Another night, another person longing for something while looking up at the moon. 

You let yourself down to watch him better and you smiled surprised upon seeing his features. Apollo would wither away with shame in comparison so you chuckled excitedly. 

Finally. What a nice match. 

What a nice subject to driving into insanity for you. 

So you kept staring at his dark eyes, illuminated by your light, then at the curve of his forehead, his jaw, his neck. You imagined it strained as he begged for your love and you chuckled again. 

"Sleep," you whispered to him, eager to enter his dreams just like you did with so many people before him. 

But he didn't move and his eyes remained wide and awake. 

You tilted your head to the side, studying him well. 

"I said, Sleep," your voice travelled inside his head again but it got blocked by such a thick wall to make you almost fall backwards. 

You scoffed, one foot stomping on the ground and your arms crossed on the chest. 

He was not thinking about you?

He was staring at the moon, yes, but he wasn't staring at you?

_________

It was not until he fell asleep in his observatory that you managed to get closer. 

Night after night you were staring at each other without him realizing and night after night his head was completely closed off. Drifting away in the morning, angry and tired, your only thoughts were made of plans around how to enter that man's dreams.

You were feeling weak, so little time until Helios would push you to the side with his light. But your pride was hurt and you were desperate to get into his head. 

It was so easy this one time. Completely at your mercy. So easy that you basically tripped forward not expecting it. 

His mind was like soft butter and you giggled triumphant, stepping around his dreams. 

Finally. 

It was completely silent inside of him and you inhaled deeply. 

What a nice head, you thought. So calm and peaceful. No chaos and no darkness. 

You opened your eyes and focused around his imagination. 

It was a deep refreshing forest with a faraway waterfall. The sound of it accompanying the sound of your nude feet on the grass. 

Then you saw him. 

The man was lying down on a patch of soft moss, eyes closed and relaxed features. Like some sort of spirit. Like a god. 

You walked to him silently and touched his knee. His eyes slowly opened at the sensation and his lips got brushed by a sigh. You leaned down on top of him, catching it with your lips, sighing into him as well. 

Finally, you smiled, as his hands pressed into your soft flesh. 

But before he could touch your bare skin, you were already drifting away to sleep yourself and the dusk vaporized you from his arms. 

So you tried again. 

And again. 

Always near the time, you'd touch gowns with Helios as you passed the baton. Always touching the mortal man just for a second in his mind and his dreams.

Until you became obsessed.

His hands on your stomach and sliding lightly on your bust. You holding onto his wrist with both your hands and delicately kissing his thumb before gently starting to suck on it. His muscles contracting at the sight and you feeling him harden underneath you. His lips slightly parted as if breathing for him was suddenly harder and his gaze was dark and lustful. Jerking up with no warming and, pressing you hard against himself, kissing you hungrily. Wet, messy, and rough. His fingers digging into your thighs and yours into his shoulders. His skin rubbing against your and you desperately wanting more.

Until you got too impatient. 

__________

“It’s called a telescope. It’s a machine that makes things appear closer. I want to see every detail of the moon and I’ll soon be able to.” 

Doyoung was scribbling away into his papers and you shifted your head from resting on your knees to resting it on your hand instead. 

“Can I see it?” 

He didn’t reply for a few moments, eyebrows furrowed and clenched jaw, so you thought he didn’t hear you. 

“It’s not done yet,” he then mumbled right when you opened the mouth to speak again. 

“Well-” you started but he suddenly got up and extended his hand to you. 

You looked at his delicate palm and fought the urge to kiss his fingertips. 

You lifted your hand to touch it. It was soft and warm as you held it. And you hoped he wouldn’t let yours go after helping you up. 

Unfortunately, he did and started to walk up the little hill towards the tower by himself. 

You smiled a little and followed him after gathering your gown in your fists, eyes on his back instead of paying attention where you should put your feet instead.

“So tell me. Why do you like the moon so much?” 

Humans were so used to walking around that it was nothing for him to arrive at the top of the hill in a few steps. You haven’t been walking as much as you did while with Doyoung in aeons so you had to rest, palms on your knees and panting hard as he spoke. 

“It’s fascinating, don’t you think?” 

“Well,” you shrugged, “she’s a goddess.” You replied, the sweat on your forehead and messy hair very ungoddess-like. 

Doyoung looked at his side, staring at your lips as they moved then looked away at the tower in front of him. His visible cheek trembled a little under the moonlight and you smiled. 

“So you still don’t believe the moon is a goddess. My job here is useless.” 

He sighed at your affirmation. “I just- I’m sure there’s more to that. The moon is made of soil just like the earth. I think it’s a piece of earth that didn’t manage to merge with us.” 

He started to walk away as you caught up with his pace. 

“Merge with us? Like when the earth was made someone just left a piece of it out for no reason?” 

The boy looked at you after arriving at the wooden door and resting one hand on it. “You think I’m insane, right? No one believes me.” 

You imitated his expression and lightly hit his shoulder with yours. “I don’t think you’re insane. Your mind is just fascinating like the moon herself.” 

“You think there’s a possibility that the goddess is mad at me for not believing in her existence? Maybe this is why I’m not making any progress with my studies,” Doyoung mumbled to himself amused as unlocked the tower. 

You stared at his profile for a while. The silence made it possible for the soft breeze on the lake water to be heard as well as the young man’s yearning sigh. 

“I think she’s flattered. You’re like a challenge.” 

Doyoung turned his head around to face you again and his dark eyes under the strands of black hair were hypnotizing as he made a few steps backwards into the round room. 

“Flattered by me? There are so many people staring at her.” 

You tightened the hold on your gown as you followed him into the darkness of the observatory. 

“Not like you. I watched you from my own tower and you’ve been here every night for so many cycles.” 

“I am flattered that you’ve been watching me,” Doyoung lowered his voice.  

You smiled again and felt a lump grow in your throat under his gaze, forcing you to swallow before talking again. 

“Also, you don’t just mindlessly admire her. You want to understand. And that’s fresh.” 

You looked up at the high ceiling and admired the weird wooden construction. It was a little dusty but cosy.

Doyoung let one corner of his lips rise. “So the moon is bored with all the suitors and finds me amusing. Will she kill me after playing with me like this or you think she will grant me forgiveness?” 

You looked down again and stared at each other until Doyoung’s eyes widened a little upon seeing your troubled expression. 

“Hey, it was a joke,” he touched your arm delicately. “The moon is not going to kill me.” 

You gulped and lowered your gaze upon feeling his touch. 

“No, she can’t. But what if she has to put you to sleep?” you asked with a feeble voice. 

His pupils shook quickly as if he was waiting for you to finally laugh out loud at the joke. 

But you didn’t. 

“Why would Selene do that?” 

You walked away from him, hands behind your back, neck strained as you looked up at the structure. 

“Have you ever heard of Selene being in love?” 

“I haven’t heard much of her at all, to be honest.” 

He leaned his hips on the desk and crossed his arms on the chest. 

“What have you been doing during my father’s lessons?” you suddenly turned your head towards him and he finally could see a hit of amusement on your features. 

“Hm,” he considered. “Thinking about the moon but not like that.” 

You rolled your eyes and touched the telescope in front of you with one finger. It was sturdy and cold. Then you started to walk around the room, the fingertip gently caressing everything you could touch. 

“Selene is cruel. She makes people fall in love with her. With no promises. Just for fun. And when they all learn that she can’t possibly love them back, they all leave.”  

“Why?” 

You stopped near a wall adorned with a simple mirror. The reflection was something you didn’t want to look at so you placed your gaze on Doyoung. He exchanged the look. 

“It’s her fate.” 

“Her fate to be cruel?” 

“Her fate to be alone.” You started to walk again. 

His clothes neatly hanging near his bed smelled like incense and they were soft under your finger. 

“That sounds like someone that wants to protect themselves,” he considered. 

You didn’t reply for a moment so Doyoung kept talking. 

“Selene sounds like a sad individual. She keeps making people fall in love with her but no one is trying to make her fall in love with them. And then they run away like cowards.”

You chuckled a little. “You think? But that’s Fate. If you fall in love with Selene, you either run away or lose your life.” 

“And how many people lost their life?” 

You hummed. “No one really.”

“If you love someone truly, no Fate is going to make you tremble in your slacks like a little boy.” 

You chuckled again. 

Your room tour was almost over as you walked over him, your finger gently touching the table until reaching his thigh. 

He looked down at your hand and followed it’s movements as you drew a line up on it until getting to his hip, then on his wrist and forearm. 

His skin shivered in goosebumps under your touch and you heard him swallow. 

“If you’re going to keep being so obsessed with the moon, you might lose your life too,” you whispered. “Run away now, before it’s too late.” 

His hand twitched as he loosened up his arms on his sides and grabbed your fingers before you could get to his chest. 

“Selene might choose to put me to sleep?” 

“She might have to. For pity. To not let you die on the hands of the Fates instead since it’s gruesome.” 

Doyoung wrapped your shoulders with his arm and pulled you towards his body.

 You heard the buzzing of his voice near his heart when he talked. “I will not let the moon do that. Don’t worry.”

His scent was inebriating and you closed your eyes, palms shyly placed on the linen of his tunic, his breath tickling your forehead before he placed a kiss on it. 

The touch felt so dizzying that you had to inhale twice. 

“Promise?” you lifted your head and asked quietly, the words travelling on the little sigh you emitted and placing themselves on his plump ones. 

“I promise-,” he tried to say but he was so close that you didn’t let him finish, the kiss he gave you after you leaned in was better than any words. 

Then he kissed your cheek and jaw, then you felt his tongue gently outlining your ear until you whimpered and tightened your fingers into his clothes. He chuckled lightly and kissed the spot under the ear, down down on the neck, biting gently into your flesh as you started to pant. His hands palmed the bare skin on your back before meeting the fabric of your nightgown again. 

It was your turn to get goosebumps all over your skin as you melted in his hold. 

Then you noticed the lights of the dusk gently illuminating the small windows of the observatory and you had to lightly push his chest back. 

“I have to go,” you whispered quickly. 

“Just a minute,” he replied on your lips, his arms not wanting to let you go yet. You kissed him back in short pecks until he chuckled. 

“Okay okay. Go,” he pressed his lips into yours for the last time and you turned around fast, yelping once as he lightly slapped your ass. 

__________

“There’s something I need to confess,” you announced. 

Doyoung’s eyes weren't on the moon that night either and you smiled at the small victory. Then you felt a sting inside your chest that prompted you to finally be honest with him. 

Getting out of the water slowly you hoped he'd let his obsidian eyes shamelessly caress your skin but sensing your approach he lifted his eyes on the sky instead with a secret gulp. 

“What is it?” His voice was low and a little pasty. 

"Are you drinking?" you chuckled once surprised as your feet walked the short sand shore before you could feel the cool grass under your toes instead. 

Doyoung smiled. "It's starting to get a little bit cold these nights. I have to keep myself warm."

You kneeled in front of him, sitting on your legs and extending your hand towards the bottle. "I'm also a little chilly," you explained. 

The young man handed you the wine and watched your lips as you tasted it. 

"Perhaps if you didn’t wander around naked you won't be feeling this cold." 

"Perhaps if you finally let me under your cloak, you won't be feeling this cold either." 

Doyoung's pupils trembled and his lips tightened. His lashes fanned his cheeks a few times and he looked away as you collected a single drop of wine from your lower lip with the tip of the tongue. 

He was so stubborn to fully give in that it made you euphoric. 

After the little exchange in the observatory, you expected him to jump on you as soon as he saw you. Instead, he slyly sat down on his usual spot in front of the lake, eyes high on the sky and hands busy taking his notes. 

So you undressed as usual and entered the water until you could physically feel his gaze burning your skin.

You were actually relieved he felt like that. 

Nights after nights you wondered if you should just stop bothering him. 

You felt selfish and cruel. Cruel with yourself, because you already knew how it would end. He’d run away from you and if perhaps he would not, if he prefered to actually die, then- 

You drank again and enjoyed his awkward silence for a bit. 

“I’ve been watching you that first night," you confessed. Doyoung's breath halted for a second and you smiled.

I’m Selene. I’m actually Selene. 

“I told you that I’ve been watching you for many nights, actually. From my tower.”

You locked eyes and you felt his hand wrap yours making you shiver. He retrieved the bottle and sipped talking.

"Why?" 

I’m Selene. 

"For the same reason, you've been staring at the moon. To understand. And because you're beautiful." 

Doyoung gulped the liquid and his eyes finally locked with yours. 

"What do you want to understand about me?" 

"Everything."

The crickets kept you company in the moment of silence and for the first time Doyoung didn't shy away from openly looking at your curves and you felt your skin get goosebumps. 

His fingers then unbuttoned his cloak and lifting himself on his knees, he wrapped your naked body with it. The warmth and his scent almost made you whine in pleasure. You desperately wanted him to pull you down on top of him.

"So you choose that exact moment to come and talk to me." 

The little smile that crept on Doyoung's lips made you smile as well. He sat down again and relaxed back on one elbow.

“I had no idea that looking at the moon would get you horny if that's what you're saying."

He looked at you with the corner of his eyes. The amusement in them made you bite your lower lip. 

"You got horny by looking at me though." 

In your whole long life, you've never experienced that type of teasing. 

He was there, hands not on you, doing everything with his eyes instead of his touch and it was driving you insane. 

It was not the first time you'd come down and talk to admirers that loved to stare at you, yet not a single one has made it so difficult for you to sleep with them. 

Were you losing your charm? Was it their belief in Selene that made you look fascinating to their eyes? Was this the reason Doyoung kept it all together all of these nights? You were just a normal girl in his eyes, weren't you? 

It made you so frustrated. 

And relieved at the same time.

“So why were you horny that night?” 

“I’ve been dreaming about this girl I have never met before,” he admitted." I don't know who she is or what she looks like-"

"But she managed to get you horny like that?" 

He had another sip from the bottle as if regretting telling you that. 

"Maybe it was Selene? She's known for meeting people in their dreams," you suggested. 

I am Selene. It was me. Keep me close but please run away too. 

"Selene doesn’t-” he tried to reply but stopped, aware of your deep beliefs. 

"And a girl from your dreams does?" 

"I've never-” 

"Is this why you're here? You hope to dream about her again?" 

"I am here because I am studying the moon." 

“What was the girl doing in your dreams? Can you show me?” you lowered your voice and you could have sworn that Doyoung was ready to finally push you under his weight. 

“Don’t do this to me,” he whispered instead. 

I am sorry. I am so sorry. 

“Why not?” you touched his knee. 

“I haven’t been myself since you’re around.” 

“Is that a bad thing?”

It is. It’s such a bad thing.  

“I just… I want to concentrate on the moon-” 

“She’s not going anywhere.” 

If there were men that refused a naked girl as she explicitly asked them to touch her skin, Doyoung realized with great difficulty that he was not one of them. 

Fuck, when you straddled his lap and leaned down, not even Zeus and all of his squad would have been able to stop Doyoung from sliding his hands up your thighs and grab your waist.

"Will you leave me alone after this?" he whispered on your lips. 

"Only if you leave me alone first." 

"You came to me first."

"I don't think that's correct."

Doyoung's eyebrows furrowed at your words but he had no time to think about it at your command. 

“Kiss me,” you managed to tell him before he pulled you down on his chest and promptly bit your lower lip. You whined once and cupped his face as his hands pressed you on himself.

It was weird. It was so weird. 

His tongue playing with yours and his fingers caressing your naked body, you felt powerless. You were so small. 

A weird sensation was engulfing your chest just like his scent and warmth tickled your senses. 

It tasted like danger and it made your nerves shake. 

The desire was so high that it made you dizzy but the terror was just as big as you felt his grip tighten on you. 

You felt like any other man you bewitched before. Insane. At his mercy. 

And you desperately didn’t want him to die. 

"Wait!" 

Doyoung stopped kissing your neck and looked up at your face. 

"Is everything alright? Sorry if I-," 

"No, no, it's fine," you gulped, gently moving back until standing. 

You tugged at his cloak, even more, covering yourself up to the chin. 

"I'll borrow this if it's not an issue for you," you tried to smile a little. "I just remembered I need to go home. I’ll let you concentrate on your studies for now.” 

"Wait- it’s not morning yet-," he blinked at you and stood up as well, but you were already running away on the little dirt path towards the tower. 

__________

"Your game is so weak that you make girls run away now?" 

"I didn't tell you this to get teased by you," Doyoung replied sternly but when Ten looked over he smiled seeing the other's amused expression. 

"Perhaps she just wanted to seduce you and when you finally got seduced she got bored."

"Valid. But we could have at least finished." Doyoung sighed. "I'm afraid I scared her somehow." 

The lake sounded calm in the colours of the dawn and Doyoung raised his gaze to look at the sky. 

"I mean, I'd be scared to sleep with you too." Ten joked but Doyoung wasn't listening. 

"There's something else,” the latter mumbled, almost to himself. 

Ten went quiet and looked at the other's glowing profile. 

"She felt so familiar as I held into her. Her scent and voice and her breathing. She was exactly like the girl I've been dreaming about."

Ten whistled. "You're projecting now?"

"Maybe she didn't want to be used as I thought about that dreamy girl," Doyoung murmured on his own. “I swear they felt the same though.” 

Ten waved his palm in front of his brother's face but the other didn't flinch, eyes lifeless as he was lost in thoughts. 

Then Ten shrugged. 

"Go and find her. Ask to talk to her."

Doyoung finally came to his senses. "You want her father to kill me?" 

“Go to sleep then.” 

“What?” 

Ten shrugged again. “Go to sleep and see if they’re the same person.” 

“Don’t make fun of me.” 

“I told you that you should come over our weird mystical meetings sometime.” He signed the words with air quotes. “You’d understand that dreams can be something more than mere night hallucinations.” 

__________

Doyoung didn't look at the moon that night. 

Instead, he went to sleep when it came out adorning the sky and he fell into the slumber with its image burned on his eyelids. 

He felt an idiot but he hoped to see you.

Doyoung didn't believe in fate or higher forces but if his mind could somehow predict your arrival he wanted to find out how it worked. Theory, observation and conclusion. 

It was a soft dream. 

He was walking a flowery hill. The spectrally white blossoms were high to his hips and he gently let his hands caress their petals at his passage. The moon made them bright as if they were faes and all of them were directing him somewhere.

He knew you were there waiting for him before he could see you. 

Timidly sat on the top of the hill, your white gown was looking even brighter than the moon itself. Your thighs were full-on display and for a moment Doyoung felt like he'd lived a moment like this in the past already.

He stopped and looked down around his feet where a small rabbit tilted its head to the side, staring at him with its big and glossy eyes. It was light brown and fluffy. 

Doyoung chuckled once and crouched down. The little rabbit hopped into his arms and he carried it up until reaching your smiling face. 

“I missed you,” he said as a greeting. 

A small breeze made the flowers lean gently on the side and your gown inflated as you stood.

You took a little step towards him and placed one finger on his lower lip. 

He let his gaze fall on it and kissed your fingertip. His skin was warm and soft.

Then he kissed the round sweet you made appear in your hand.

He chuckled feeling the honey already melting on his lips. He bit into it and you ate the half of it that was leftover.

“Why are you running away from me?” he whispered as the rabbit hopped off.

You were unsure if he spoke to it or you.

“I’m afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“The unknown.”

Doyoung lifted one hand and cupped your face. You exhaled and closed your eyes.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asked.

“Falling in love with you.” 

_________

“I’m glad you took some time off to see me, son.” 

“Thank you for accepting the invitation, sir.” 

The two men were slowly walking through the Tower’s gardens, full of roses bushes and soft grass. 

“How are the studies going? Got some new information about the Moon?” 

Doyoung inhaled, hands clasped together behind his back and tilted head. 

“I do. And that’s why I’m here. I have some questions for you, sir.” 

The Professor halted his movements and smiled under the thick eyebrows. 

“What’s all that about?” 

Doyoung started to walk again and the man followed him. 

“I think I might be slightly insane but what if our theories both coexist? What if the moon is just a celestial object for some and a goddess for others, based on their beliefs?” 

The man laughed. “Have you been to the meetings of that philosopher brother of yours lately?” 

Doyoung smiled a bit at the teasing. 

“I think you can be right,” the Professor then added with a different tone. 

They both stopped again and Doyoung tried to read the expression in his eyes. 

“We’re incredible beings. We’re creators. The divine in us wants to create things so badly. Art, science, food, babies.” 

They both smiled again. 

“Reality shifts according to what you believe in and you can create things out of nowhere.” 

“But is that true if I created it? Isn’t it just fantasy?” 

“And what exactly is reality in the first place?” 

“Something you can see and touch. Something you can feel with all of your senses.” 

“Air is reality. Can you see and touch it? Can you feel it with your tongue? No. But it’s here. We all agree on it.”

The astronomer smiled again. “It’s because we need different eyes to see it.” 

“Just like you need different eyes to see Selene instead of a round disk in the sky,” the man replied. 

Doyoung turned around and walked again in silence. 

“Would Selene start to exist like flesh and bone in front of me if I started to believe in her?” he asked after a moment. 

“Yes. And the moon would look like a piece of dirt to me if I had your beliefs instead.” 

Doyoung sighed, shaking his head to the side as if trying to apologize. 

“I don’t know why I started to think about all of these things.” 

“You’re not the first man to get heartache for her, Doyoung.” 

“I am not-” Doyoung blinked a few times, unable to go on. 

“It’s actually,” he finally faced the old man, “it’s actually all about your daughter, sir,” his voice was feeble and his cheeks lightly dusted with the colour of roses. 

The Professor opened his mouth for a moment but he was quick to close it as a little smile adorned his mouth instead. 

His arm moved and Doyoung fought the urge to not run away. But the man had no ill intentions. Instead he fatherly cupped the other’s nape and laughed once. 

“I do not have a daughter, my boy.” 

__________

She’s cruel.

Doyoung could understand that. He was not stupid nor blind. 

Swaying your hips around him, visiting him all nights, eyes full of him and basically begging him to touch you: only a fool would not take a hint. 

Yet, you didn’t come to him anymore. You ran away instead of fully seducing him, breaking him, leaving him desperate. 

Or was it the whole plan? Making him long for more until no other thought could have space in his mind? 

Well, it was working. 

But Doyoung was also the sole creator of his reality and his heart was still not acquainted with the truth of the moon being a goddess. And if he didn’t believe in you, you were not real. Just a fragment of his imagination, of his dreams.

Although your touch and your breath on his skin was something he could actually feel. And the thing blooming inside his heart was also something he could feel. 

Slow feet to drag to his observatory he barely noticed the white gown abandoned on the lake’s shore. He had no intentions to look for you yet there you were again when he least tried hard to reach you. 

The night was dark and the moon was but a mere semicircle in the middle of infinite stars. 

And you were barely visible in the slow movement of the lake too, eyes closed and face up to bathe into the myriad of lights. 

“I’ve never asked your name.” 

His voice was low but it startled you. He was standing on the strand of sand, nude feet gently touched by the water at a slow rhythm. 

Hands in his slacks pockets and head ever so slightly tilted to the side, he looked so confident to make your blood boil. 

Your eyes ran over his thighs then up to his small waist. You imagined yourself wrapping it with your arms, pressing your face into the clean scent of his white flowy shirt, fingers drawing the most prominent veins on his forearms made bare by his hands that slowly unbuttoned the sleeves.

“You didn’t.” 

You swam backwards, water hitting the swell of your breasts at each fluid movement as you put on a brave face.  

He smiled and your breath vibrated but then you couldn’t see his face anymore, hidden by the fabric he took off. 

His shirt fell near your gown and you looked at its trajectory before realizing what you had in front of you. 

“What are you doing?” your voice was not brave anymore as you spoke and you gulped once. 

“Taking a bath. I had a very long day,” he explained, amused eyes under his messy hair, hands already unbuttoning his pants. 

You watched those too as they fell to his ankles before he could step out of them and when you raised your eyes again you inhaled sharply. 

Doyoung didn’t comment on your inability to look at him but you could almost feel his smile burn the side of your face as you turned around, laying down on your back again and trying to calm your buzzing nerves. 

The water did nothing to lull you as your guts physically felt each meter Doyoung swam towards you. 

“I dreamt you a few nights ago,” he talked and his voice was nearer than you expected. 

“Oh really. Was that nice?” 

“You were there too, Selene."

You floundered with a gasp at that name on his lips but he was quick to wrap your body with his arms and keep you afloat. Your chest was expanding quickly and it stopped when you realized that it was pressed on Doyoung’s naked body. 

"What are you talking about?" you tried to chuckle, palms on his chest as if trying to push him away but not actually wanting to do it. 

“Look at me,” his voice was a whisper. 

You breathed out and kept staring at his collarbones instead. 

“A goddess would certainly have enough guts to look at a mere man’s eyes, wouldn’t she?” 

His fingers delicately drew your jaw until lifting your chin up. 

The look you exchanged was electrifying and your hands got buried in his shoulders’ muscles on their own. 

“You certainly have a lot of guts for a mere man.” 

“Is this why you’re running away from me? You’re not used to it? For your little pets to have guts?"

You scoffed once. 

“I could- I could set you on fire if I wanted to.” 

“You already do without trying,” he smiled. 

“I could physically turn you on fire, you know?”

Doyoung hummed at your threats and tightened his hold on your hips even more until there was no more possible space between your bodies anymore. 

“You’re physically turning me on fire,” he whispered near your ear. “Do you not feel it?” 

"Doyoung," you whined, his skin rubbing on yours as you shifted. 

"Selene," he replied. 

"We should not do this."

"Do what?" 

You exhaled frustrated and finally looked at his eyes. 

"You should not try to sleep with the goddess of the moon if you want to be alive."

"And who's going to kill me?" 

"The Fates." His lips curved up. 

"I'm serious! It's going to kill you."

"But I can’t step back. I'm just a weak mortal bewitched by you."

"We both know that's not true. You don't care about me at all. Not--,” you gulped. “Not like I do."

He smiled a little. 

"And that drives you insane, doesn’t it?" his breath caressed your earlobe as he whispered near it. "You hate being weak."

You closed your eyes with fluttering eyes as you felt his fingers caress your spine, from the base of your neck, down to your waist until reaching the softness of your ass.

"Why are you resisting me, let me in."

"You're just everything I was afraid of."

"Maybe it's time to stop and face your fears."

"There's no going back after this. You should run away now.”

"I don’t want to go back." 

"You said it yourself. You’re but a mere man. A human!” you argued. 

"And yet here you are, Selene herself melting in my arms."

You sighed in frustration. "Don’t get so cocky."

"You said that the worst thing that could happen is you falling in love with me. Is that really that bad?" 

“The Fates will get to you, Doyoung? Do you not understand? You’ll be gone.” 

“You said that you can put me to sleep more gently. Do that.”

“You’ll be gone!”

"I’ll find a way back to you."

"You’re so reckless for a scientist."

"Your influence on me is really bad.”

“You’re not taking this seriously at all.” 

“Can’t be rational when all I can think about is how much I want to fuck you dizzy.” 

You opened your mouth to reply something witty but you couldn't because with quick hands he took your arms and wrapped them around his neck. It was so quick that you were still in the middle of processing what just happened when with gentle fingers he directed your head closer to his face and pressed a sweet kiss on your lips. 

You let yourself be cuddled by his homely scents as you slid your fingers through his soft hair. His hands were drawing light lines on your back and between his arms, you felt warm and safe. All your worries were suddenly gone and you couldn't feel any tiredness or anxiety in your muscles as Doyoung smoothed it all for you.

He eventually broke up the kiss and you were both slightly breathless as you looked at each other in the eyes. His gaze was intense and rough and you couldn't stop thinking about the way your body was pressing against his.

Your thoughts might have been written on your face because he smiled slightly and got his hands busy to slowly slide his fingers across your ass and thighs. 

"I can stop if you want me to," he said, almost whispering. 

"No, don’t stop,” you whispered back. 

__________

“So, what are you? Like, immortal?” 

His voice was a low buzz. Head resting on your stomach and arms wrapped around your body, you let your hand gently play with his hair. 

The night was cold on the lake’s shore. His cloak felt soft under your naked bodies though and his mere presence made it impossible for you to feel any breeze. 

You exhaled and shifted in his hold to be able to look at him. “Yes, but I can die too.” 

“Well, you do have hot blood inside of your veins,” he smirked, lifting his head too, palming your body up until reaching your warm cheeks. You closed your eyes for a moment, gently rubbing your side of the face on his hand before opening them up and taking in the view of him between your legs. 

“I told you how this is a curse, right?” 

He hummed, going back to his previous position, hands wrapped around your thighs and slowly drawing diagrams on your skin. 

“And it’s bullshit.” 

“How is that-”  

“Who the hell are the Fates and why do they have a say in your destiny?” He sounded angry. 

“Also why are you even cursed?” he lifted his head to look at you and his furrowed eyebrows made you giggle. 

“The Goddess of the Moon is not the same forever. We change every other aeon. I have been chosen this time and with it came the curse.” 

Doyoung rolled his eyes so incredulously that you giggled again. 

“My heart is flowing with jealousy. Of all I’ve ever wanted, my hands got only smoke,” you whispered and Doyoung blinked at your sudden change in tone. 

“Hey,” he slithered upwards until placing his arms around your head. 

You wrapped his body with yours and hid your face into the crook of his neck.

“It’s going to be so soon,” you whined. 

“What?” he rolled over and pulled you towards his chest. 

“The Judgement.” 

Like a spell that summons darkness, the night sky suddenly got hidden. 

You inhaled sharply and got up, away from his hold.

Doyoung’s eyes were wide, looking at your face then at the sky where no stars and moon were shining anymore. 

“You have to run away,” your voice trembled. 

“I will not do that,” he stood as well, hands trying to pull you closer again. 

You took a few steps back, shaking your head as if afraid of him to touch you. 

“Doyoung, are you perhaps a fool?” you almost screamed. 

“Yeah, maybe I am.” 

"You said that you wouldn't let me do this!" you cried out, face wet with tears, unable to get closer to him any further. “I thought you didn’t love me and you’d run away like the others!”

Doyoung was pale and with shaky hands trying hard to reach you. But you were the Moon, high up in the sky and so far away for him to touch. 

“How can I not love you?” he whispered. 

You brought a hand to your mouth, feet slowly leaving the shore, rising in your goddess glory. But there was nothing glorious at that moment as your body jolted with hiccups. 

"It's alright, " he whispered. "Everything is fine. We can deal with this.”

"It's my fault. I've been a fool." 

"No. No. Listen to me."

"I don't want to lose you…" your voice was tiny as he slowly descended on his knees, arms resting in his lap, eyes taking in the beauty of your light. 

"Do it quickly. It's okay," Doyoung added.  

You looked away. 

"It's okay," he repeated. "I'll find a way to get to you. I promise."

"Stop, please, just stop. Why don’t you just go away?” 

"If not in this life, in another one. This is but a mere fragment of our existence. My soul's eternal and it will always long for you. I'll come and find you. I can't let you go.” 

"Doyoung-," 

"My love. Put me to sleep. It's not death.” 

"It's worse than death!” 

"I'll find a way. Trust me. We’re ending this to start again. I do not intend to run away like some coward in front of these Fates.” 

"Doyoung," you whined again, the sight of the Fates darkening the hills beyond him making your eyes fill to the brim until you were unable to see. 

He didn't look back. His eyes were on you all of the time. 

His eyes have always been on you all of the time. 

Your feet touched ground again and he smiled, his own eyes being two little night skies filled with little shiny stars. 

His hair floated in the killing wind of the Fates approaching each step closer, yelling, screaming, shaking the ground. 

Your trembling hands didn't look like your own as you cupped his face and kissed his lips desperately, the whispers of your love filling up his mouth. Until he inhaled deeply.

Until the darkness of the Fates passed above you with a deafening yell of a thousand birds. You wrapped his head with your arms, protecting him and he wrapped your torso with his. 

"Go away!" you screamed towards the halo dancing around in the sky. It let out a frustrated cry and before you could realize it, it went away in a minute, leaving behind but buzzing silence. 

You gulped feeling your throat raw, a little sparkle of hope still lingering in your chest. 

But then you looked down at his face and a loud hiccup knocked all of your body. 

Your kiss worked. 

You held him in your arms and watched his peaceful expression dotted by your warm tears. 

He was beautiful and eternally asleep. 

__________

From “I will not vanish” with Haechan coming up in March

“How bizarre. Not dead yet not alive either.” 

The voice startled Doyoung in the silence of the prison. It was warm and pleasant. Almost childish. 

“Who talked?” 

Doyoung walked the dark corridor slowly, eyebrows furrowed and eyes scanning every cell. 

“I did.” 

The voice sounded clearer with each step he took until he was sure it came from the farthest away room. It was darker and bigger than the others.

“Don’t be afraid. Come closer.” The voice was amused. 

Doyoung stopped in front of it and blinked hard to see inside. 

The creature inside of it giggled once and leaned forwards into the feeble light of Doyoung’s torch. 

The latter flinched and took a step backwards. 

Two round eyes looked at Doyoung from underneath fluffy hair. His lips were plush just like his cheeks. Yet Doyoung could tell he was not a child. The eyebrow scratch and sharp jawline that flinched as he smirked communicated infinite amounts of years. 

“Donghyuck the demon?” 

The young man rolled his eyes and scoffed. 

“I’ve been terrorizing whole villages in their dreams, asking them to call me Haechan and no one is passing the message around? Donghyuck is such an old fashioned name now.” 

Doyoung blinked at him, unable to crack a single word. 

The demon snickered. “What did you expect to see, human? A wobbly indistinguishable mass with four voices talking all at once?” 

“Yes,” Doyoung replied honestly. 

“Those are the angels. Have you seen an angel? They have like seven arms and twelve eyes. Like, you’re an angel, right? With all those great powers. And what do you do? You appear to people with disgusting eyes around the belly button?” 

Haechan leaned to the side on one elbow and imitated puking sounds.

“I had an unpleasant encounter with an Archangel.” 

Haechan smiled at the other’s words and got up from the floor. Doyoung expected chains around his limbs but nothing was holding the demon back. 

He walked slowly towards the edge of the cell and Doyoung noticed his bare feet and ankles. They looked like the ones of a prince not having worked one single day in his life.

“Archangels are smarter. They don’t look as good as me but they at least don’t scare away young girls. Who did you discuss with to leave you so desperate to come here? Also what the hell happened to you? An eternal sleepwalker?"

Haechan was mere centimetres away from Doyoung but the latter didn’t step back. 

“Mark.” 

The other hummed. “Archangel Mark. He’s still on that bullshit? Fate and all?” 

“You’re a demon. You know everything.” 

Haechan laughed. “Yeah.” He walked along the edge with hands behind his back before turning his face towards Doyoung again. “So he’s the reason why you chose me?” 

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"You think we're going to be friends?" 

"Business partners."

Haechan licked his lower lip amused. 

"What do you want?" 

"Love."

Haechan snorted. "Okay, loser. And what are you offering me?" He lifted one eyebrow. 

"Freedom." 

__________

Haechan stared at the contract Doyoung handed him. It was a big heavy book and Haechan touched its cover. 

And if she’s not my soulmate, I’d rather wander alone than touching someone else’s skin, I’d rather walk this earth with no hand to hold and lift me from the ground. And if I have to heal from it and accept the universe’s imposed call, I’d rather suffer from my eternally open wounds. I’ll fight the stars and let them burn me, I’ll let them laugh at my weakest state and I’d gladly make them erase my memory of ever existing in all of the infinite lives if I have to follow Fate.

Turning it over he read the words that appeared on the back after meeting you.

I’m walking through dark times But please come to me just once If I see you again, will I be able to hug you? With this body that’s frozen and about to break? Your eyes and your warm voice I long for it like crazy One day, give me your hand too, turn around and look at me Find me, just once I’ll wait so please come back*

Haechan let out a dry scoff and sighed, looking over the empty hills. 

“Losers.”

*”Who waits for love” by SHINee   

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

heeey! so back when @eirianerisdar posted chapter 12 of their fic the ransom of the house of fëanor - that’s the one where they finally let the brothers hellspawn and their idiot dad out of the void, but they have to throw elrond in, all very sad - i thought up my own somewhat fluffier vastly dumber au for the end of that chapter. in honour of the fic being finished, i’ve decided to write up the various scattershot ideas i’ve had for it, with the caveat that i’ll be working off my own slightly different background headcanons

the divergence point is roughly when elrond announces that he’s totally going into the void now, for realsies, the local ainur are nodding solemnly, and the fëanorians are running preliminary can-we-take-them calculations. except for maedhros, who’s very sad to hear that they must sacrifice his nephew to the eternal dark for their freedom, ‘tis truly a shame, they will honour his memory and GET THE BOAT, BOYS

or, the original elf mad scientist, his murderous blood-hungry spawn, a guy who’s extremely grouchy about not getting to do his dramatic self-sacrifice, and their somewhat-less-reluctant-than-he-should-be getaway driver go on the lam

how they got away from the valar:

námo: already knew this was going to happen, but it’s not like anyone ever listens to him, is it? in the moment, was a little more concerned with how morgoth had started belly-crawling towards the doors of night

manwë: never wanted to throw elrond into the void in the first place, and has been silently hoping elrond would call his bluff for the past week. the children are all safe and inside like they should be, and isn’t that what really matters?

eönwë: no it isn’t boss the fëanorians are a completely unpredictable wildcard we cannot afford to let them run around unsupervised!!! would probably have at least delayed the family hellspawn until backup could arrive, except

olórin: realised what maedhros was planning almost immediately and had to consciously force down a shit-eating grin. as soon as the brothers started moving, divetackled eönwë

-

[from a note attached to a harpoon lodged outside the highest window on the white tower of the isle of seabirds]

elwing - it went better than i expected, honestly. the sons of fëanor took about as much offense to elrond’s plan as everyone else has, except when words didn’t work they resorted to action. they dragged him onto vingilot and i followed them, and then we cast off together. we’ve set sail for as far away from the doors of night as we can get. i’m coming with them, of course, i’m not letting these lunatics crash my baby

i’m not entirely certain when we’ll be back? the fëanorians seem worried the valar might come after us, which wouldn’t surprise me, really. i’m taking us out towards middle-earth, we’ll see where we go after that. they’re all screaming at each other and running across the deck, i’m not convinced they have much of a plan. elrond is yelling too, he’s arguing with either caranthir or curufin, can’t tell which. the one i suspect is maglor has wrapped himself around his neck and refuses to let go. our son is alive and healthy and not in the eternal darkness, and for that, at least, i am grateful

the redhead who’s co-opted the harpoons says we’re coming up on your tower. no one’s done anything to threaten me or elrond, or even looked at the silmaril. there’s something nice about sailing with a crew again, no matter who it is. i love you, and i’ll be back as soon as i can - eärendil

[from a note attached to a harpoon found among the ruins of a house in the tirion stonecarvers’ district]

you were right, nerdanel. you were right about everything, and i was wrong. i’m sorry. the boys and i are going on another adventure right now, but we’ll come back to you someday, i promise

[from the same note, in much neater handwriting]

tell tyelpë i love him, and also that the coordinates are [rest torn off]

-

the first sign of this mess that reaches arda is the morning and evening star disappearing from the sky. gondorian astronomers, haradren scholars, avarin priests all stare flummoxed as the star of high hope simply fails to appear before the sun. no matter how unsuperstitous they are everyone agrees this is a really bad omen, and all across the globe the high halls of power tremble in fear over the new horror this must portend

the first sign of this mess that reaches the shire (except for that one took who’s really into astrology) is when eight-year-old elanor gardner rushes into bag end the next day, all ‘dad! dad! there are elves in the woods!’

sam is pretty chuffed to hear this. the fair folk don’t pass through the shire half as often as they used to, and it’s been some years since he heard their song. if they’re in the neighbourhood, why, it’d only be polite to say hello, wish them luck on their journey, hand them a letter. he packs up a nice tuck-box full of goodies to share, and then sam and elanor (and frodo, who’s going through a following-his-big-sister-around-and-copying-everything-she-does phase) set out to meet the elves

first they hear the shouting. then they see the smoke

at the end of the path his daughter leads him down, sam finds the wreckage of what looks like a crashed boat strewn across the forest, still faintly smouldering. at least a dozen elves are rushing between and up the trees, yelling at each other in the angriest quenya he’s ever heard. in the middle of the impact crater stands a blonde elf carrying a stone that shines like the phial of galadriel, wailing something sam knows just enough sindarin to recognise as ‘MY SHIIIIIIIIIP’

as sam’s gaze pans over the unfolding catastrophe, his eyes land on one of the last elves he’d expected to see, master elrond. elrond is rubbing his temple, groaning like someone who knows he’s the most responsible person around and really wishes he wasn’t. a vaguely familiar sketchy-as-fuck elf is clinging onto his shoulders, in a not-dissimilar way to how frodo-lad is currently riding on sam. elrond catches sam’s gaze

‘greetings, master samwise,’ says the wisest elf-lord of the west, ignoring the scuffle that’s breaking out behind him. ‘i must apologise for my relations’

(fëanor and elanor become fast friends, teaching each other their languages and exploring the shire together. absolutely no one else is okay with this)

-

fëanor, dragging an incredibly-put-upon elrond around the citadel of minas tirith: grandbabies!

fëanor, marvelling over the embroidery arwen is showing him: great-grandbabies!

fëanor, carrying a tiny giggling eldarion all the way up the tower of gondor: great-great-grandbabies!

fëanor, staring fixedly at an increasingly apprehensive aragorn: great-great-great...

celegorm, on dad-watching duty: actually if you lay the maths out it’s very likely every human in middle-earth is descended... from... elros... fuck

fëanor: has gone completely still

fëanor: massive grin spreading across his face, eyes sparkling like the two trees brought back to life

fëanor: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[lexosaurus]

Aurora

My Truce gift for @thelegendaryloaf! I was so pumped when I was assigned you, and I absolutely LOVED working with your prompts! Happy holidays, and I hope 2021 treats you well!

Characters: Danny and Valerie Genre: Friendship Word Count: 3523 Summary: Up close, Valerie could see him more clearly. The stars and planets that speckled throughout his face, the tiny bits of multicolored light that sparkled in his eyes, the way his aura seemed to ebb and flow as if it were the aurora in the northern sky. It was as if Phantom was someone else entirely.

Read on [ao3] [ffn]

---

“Ugh, where is that stupid ghost?” Valerie grumbled, gliding through the air on her hoverboard. She had been on her way home from Star’s house when her watch beeped to life, alerting her of an unwanted ghostly visitor. And, if the watch was correct, it was a rather powerful ghost too.

After all, very few ghosts could ping her from so far away.

But like the dutiful hunter she was, she suited up, trying to ignore the way her stomach knotted up with nerves. As much as she enjoyed sending ghosts back to the hell they came from, going up against a ghost of that much ectoplasmic power was sure to empty out her first aid kit.

She glanced down at her watch. She was getting close now. She should be able to hear screaming, see people fleeing in terror, but there was nothing to suggest a powerful ghost had breached the city.

Which meant that Phantom was likely the ghost responsible for cutting into Valerie’s precious sleep.

Valerie was going to kill him. Again. 

Her radar was leading her towards the outskirts of the city, which was odd for Phantom. When he wasn’t baiting ghosts and causing destruction to Amity, Valerie could find him at the park or on top of some tall building. 

But outside of the city? This wasn’t like him.

Maybe it wasn’t Phantom. Maybe it was some tall ghost hellbent on baiting ghost hunters far away from the populace, away from any emergency response, so they could be destroyed in peace. Maybe Valerie was walking straight to her own doom.

Oh well. It wouldn’t be the first time her career as a ghost hunter had gotten her into trouble.

“Ok, he’s definitely in there,” Valerie said, shifting between her radar and the large building in front of her.

She glanced down at her watch, then back up again. Was her watch leading her to...an observatory?

“Why the hell is he in there?” 

Valerie flew low to the ground, making sure to keep out of sight of the open roof. She was almost certain that Phantom was inside the round building, but she just couldn’t figure out why.

It didn’t make sense. He was a ghost. He didn’t care about space. What did he have to gain from traveling this far to the edge of Amity just for a stupid observatory?

She could turn back here. Just go home, leave Phantom to do whatever weird thing he was doing on his night off. And why wouldn’t she—it was Saturday! She could be in bed instead of keeping Phantom out of trouble.

But it was her responsibility. Her duty to Amity. Sure, maybe Phantom wasn’t a purely evil ghost hellbent on Amity’s destruction, maybe he was just a cocky asshole with a hero Obsession, but someone had to keep him in check. 

And that someone was about to send him back to the Ghost Zone.

“Alright, Phantom.” Valerie launched herself through the open roof and hovered above the room. “Very funny. Now, come on, it’s time to—”

“Valerie!” came a cheerful cry from below her. “You made it!”

“Phantom?” She looked down and nearly fell off her glider. Below her was Phantom, but he looked...different. 

His aura had changed, and instead of a bright white glow it swirled with violets, teals, and blues. His freckles had turned into stars and planets which shimmered across his skin, and his eyes positively sparkled.

Valerie regarded him with disgust. “What the hell? Why do you look like the Milky Way threw up on you?”

Then he did something Valerie never expected a ghost to do in a million years: he giggled. 

“I’m so glad you’re here! We have so much to talk about. Saturn and Jupiter are right next to each other, and through this telescope you can even see all of Saturn’s rings. The rings, Valerie! And oh my goddess, if you thought that was cool, wait till you see the Pleiades!” Phantom reached a hand out, and his swirling aura shot forward, wrapping itself around the telescope in front of him.

“Wait, don’t break it!” Valerie shouted, touching down on the floor. But, before she could so much as ready an ecto-gun, she stopped.

Because the telescope wasn’t breaking apart.

It was moving. 

Valerie watched in a mix of horror and fascination as the telescope in front of Phantom adjusted itself, shifting around and settling into place. The aura dimmed, leaving behind a telescope that didn’t look any more ghostly than before Phantom’s interference.

“Okay, what the fuck is going on right now?”

Phantom’s beamed. “Look! Take a look!”

“Oh hell no. I’m not going anywhere near that possessed thing!”

He laughed, and for a moment his aura brightened. “Just trust me, Val!”

“Don’t call me that,” Valerie muttered, but nonetheless stepped towards the telescope. She gave one last suspicious glance Phantom’s way before she leaned forward and looked through the stupid metal thing.

Saturn stared back at her, its rings preening like a peacock against the vast emptiness around it. She had never seen Saturn before, not outside of Google Images anyhow. It looked exactly like all the pictures showed, and yet seeing it in person was...really cool. 

“And wait!” Phantom’s childish voice bubbled from behind her. Cold swept over her and she flinched, her arm instinctively twitching for her gun, before she realized what was happening.

Phantom was wrapping his galaxy aura around the telescope and moving it again.

“Okay, look now!”

Valerie glanced quizzically back towards the ghost, searching for any signs of malevolence, but his innocent smile never wavered.

“Are you high or something?” she finally asked.

He giggled again. “Stop making jokes and look already!”

She rolled her eyes but relented once more. When she looked through the telescope this time, she was met with another tan colored planet. This one had brown stripes running through the sides, warping to show an unmistakable eye-like figure towards the middle of it.

“Is that...is that Jupiter?”

“Yeah!” Phantom clapped. “And if you look, there should be some of its moons in view too! Look around it, Val!”

“Don’t call me that,” she muttered without any real malice. Sure enough, a few tiny tan dots surrounded the planet. “How many moons does it have, anyway?”

“Seventy-nine!” Phantom said.

“Jesus, wonder what its tides are like.”

Phantom playfully nudged her. “Silly Val, it doesn’t have an ocean! I know you know that. But if you think that’s crazy, Saturn actually has more moons than Jupiter does! It has eighty two.”

She stepped away from the telescope, and once again Phantom’s aura took command, adjusting the lens to a new spot. Phantom immediately jumped to the telescope with a ferocity that Valerie had only seen him use in the heat of the moment when fighting other ghosts. Yet, she noticed the way he delicately touched the telescope, allowing his fingers to gently hold the metal shell as he peered into space with a fascination that seemed too ethereal to be real.

Phantom was destructive, he was a fighter, he was driven by his Obsession to fight and be a hero. He wasn’t...this. 

“Seriously, what the hell happened to you?”

“What do you mean?” Phantom asked in a singsong voice.

“I mean this,” Valerie emphasized, allowing her arms to sweep out around her. “All of this! What...Phantom, I know we’re not friends, but—”

“Of course we are!” 

Valerie blinked. “Huh?”

“We’re friends, Val!” Phantom repeated, detaching from the telescope momentarily to hover next to Valerie. 

She could feel his cold aura brushing against her arm, and she suppressed a shudder. “Are you messing with me?”

Phantom peered up at her, his glowing eyes seeming almost offended by her accusation.

Offended? Hurt? Phantom? 

“Val, why would you say that? Of course we’re friends! We’re hanging out right now, right? That’s what friends do!” 

Up close, Valerie could see him more clearly. The stars and planets that speckled throughout his face, the tiny bits of multicolored light that sparkled in his eyes, a shooting star that traveled across his cheek, the way his aura seemed to ebb and flow as if it were the aurora in the northern sky.

It was as if Phantom was someone else entirely. It was like another ghost had taken possession over him. Was controlling him from the inside out.

Valerie’s hand slowly moved down towards her belt, but it didn’t seem to matter. Phantom didn’t notice. In fact, he shot her a beaming smile and turned his attention back to the telescope, rambling about how astronomers believe that diamonds rain on Uranus and Neptune as if Valerie’s hand wasn’t slowly inching towards her gun.

“It’s just a hypothesis really,” Phantom said. “Scientists can’t really study inside the planets yet because they’re so far away. But I hope it’s true! It would be so cool! Imagine, you’re just an alien on these planets, and then suddenly you walk outside and there’s solid diamonds falling from the sky! They wouldn’t be that pretty probably because the diamonds wouldn’t be shaped nicely, also those planets aren’t habitable to any life so there’s no aliens, but it’s still cool to imagine! Oh, oh, but if you thought that was cool, there’s this other planet—not in our galaxy—that’s really really close to its sun so it’s super hot but guess what? Val, you’ll never guess! It’s solid ice! The gravity is so strong that it forced all the water on its planets into ice and—”

Valerie gripped the gun, raising it to eye level and clicking the safety off.

Phantom’s head snapped up. He looked to the gun, then to Valerie, and his aura faltered.

“Val?” Phantom said, the stars on his face dimming. “I...I don’t understand...why…?”

“You’re not Phantom.” Valerie’s voice was steady. “I don’t know who you are, but get out of him.”

“I don’t understand…” The colored flecks of light in Phantom’s eyes faded, leaving them back to their vibrant green. “I...just…I...” His aura fluctuated before turning back to its hauntingly white glow.

“...Valerie?” Phantom 's voice was cautious. He took stock of the gun once more before a hint of realization bled through his expression. He slowly raised his hands. “Wait! I know what this looks like, but I swear I wasn’t doing anything. Don’t—”

“Phantom! There’s a ghost inside you. It was possessing you! I need to take it out. I need to—”

“Wait, Val, stop! You don’t know what you’re doing!” 

“I think it’s trying to lead us to a trap. This will only sting for a moment!”

“No! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Phantom glanced wildy around the room, his eyes locking onto the telescope once more.

Then, his aura flared, the aurora fought to return, his freckles sparkled like stars once more. A hint of childlike wonder hit his features and for a moment, he seemed lost in the fascination of the observatory.

It was the perfect opportunity to shoot.

But Valerie’s hands were shaking. They were unsteady, just like they were when she first started using the equipment. And in that split second of uncertainty, that moment of hesitation, Phantom gripped his hair and pulled himself out of his stupor.

“No!” he groaned. “Not now!”

“What the hell is going on?” Valerie shouted. 

“Don’t shoot! Just—ugh, gimmie a sec…” He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. “I just godda...I just need a second.”

To Valerie’s surprise, she waited. Maybe it was the growing respect she’d begun to feel for Phantom over the past year, maybe it was her fading hatred as she learned more about ghosts, maybe it wasn’t anything deep and it was just that Valerie was confused. In any case, she followed his pleas and watched as he pulled himself together, drawing his shimmering aura inward and allowing the familiar homogenous white aura to wash over him.

He gave a final sigh of relief. “Okay. Okay, I’m good now. You can lower the gun.”

“Tell me first.” Her voice allowed for no arguments. “Tell me what the hell just happened, and then maybe I’ll think about it.”

“It’s complicated.”

Valerie noticed how he seemed to be making a visible effort to ignore all the astronomy equipment around them. His eyes were trained to her and her only.

“Then enlighten me.”

“I…” He hesitated.

“I’m giving you five seconds before I blast you unconscious.”

He blinked, and then his expression shifted into the cocky, shit-eating grin Phantom that Valerie had come to know over these months, “As if you could hit me.”

“Don’t change the subject, Phantom. I’m serious.”

He sobered. “Right. Sorry. I...listen, it’s personal, okay? I’m telling you because I trust you, but you can’t tell anyone. If any of my enemies find out…”

“Tell me.”

“Okay.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What do you know of...of Obsessions?”

“Every ghost has one. It’s what controls their core, what gives them power. All ghosts are driven by their Obsession and if they manage to fulfill it or they’re somehow blocked from feeding into their Obsession for too long, they’ll cease to exist. Why? What does this have to do with anything?”

“I…” His face screwed up before he gave out a frustrated huff. “Oh, what the hell! I have two Obsessions.”

Valerie faltered, her gun lowering ever so slightly. 

She didn’t know what she expected, but this? 

“You what?”

Was this even possible? Better yet, how was it possible? Every ghost had an Obsession, but every ghost had one Obsession. It was impossible for a ghost to have two. It would be torment for the ghost, the two Obsessions constantly battling inside their core for dominance.

It would tear him apart from the inside out, wouldn’t it?

But Valerie watched as Phantom’s eyes strayed beside them to a small white telescope sitting off to the side of the room, and Valerie watched as his aura seemed to fluctuate again as the other side of him fought for control.

Once again, Phantom screwed his eyes shut and fought the aura down, allowing his natural white glow to pulsate over his form brighter than before. 

“Can we take this outside?” he asked, his voice tight. “This room is...distracting.”

Valerie allowed her arm to drop, her gun hanging loosely at her side. “Sure.”

“Ok, I need to...I need to slip back into it to close the observatory walls. I can’t access those powers in this form. I’m not dangerous in that state, so please don’t shoot me.”

She nodded, momentarily forgetting that he couldn’t see her with his eyes shut. But he seemed to hear the unspoken words regardless. The blues, greens, and purples of his aura swirled around him, overtaking his aura in a brilliant display of light. The stars and planets returned to his face, and when he finally opened his eyes, it was as if Valerie could see the entire Milky Way within his corneas.

He raised his arms, his face relaxed, and allowed his aura to seep out to the walls. The room glowed, and Valerie watched with an open mouth as the incandescent colors of the northern lights guided the observatory walls closed. They cascaded through the walls before finally dimming, leaving Phantom as the only remaining source of light.

“Okay,” he said, the childlike bubble to his voice echoing around the room. “Let’s go!”

Before she could blink, Phantom grabbed her arm and spread his aura out around her. She let out a yelp of protest before she could feel a familiar chill overtake her skin.

Phantom was...he was turning her intangible. 

“Ready?” He asked. His eyes seemed to glow brighter in the dark.

Valerie looked up at him, breathless.

He grinned and pulled her forward, shooting them both through the walls. They flew up for a moment before shooting back down towards a cluster of trees. 

Valerie had flown on her hoverboard many times, but this was incredible. It was as if gravity didn’t exist. Her body was weightless, flowing across the air with a precision that she’d never felt before.

But as soon as it started, it stopped. The duo landed on the ground, and Phantom broke contact with her. Warmth immediately filled her veins. She glanced back towards the observatory, but the trees blocked her view.

That was probably intentional, if Phantom’s earlier display of cognitive dissonance had anything to do with it.

Valerie waited once more, watching as Phantom’s aura seemed to waver, before settling back into white. When it seemed like he was more or less back to normal, she finally spoke. “Okay, explain. What do you mean you have two Obsessions? How is that possible?” 

“I don’t know.” Phantom’s gaze was downcast. “I mean, my, uh...death was rather, um, complicated. I think.”

She raised an eyebrow. 

Ghosts never talked about their death. According to Maddie Fenton, it was a taboo. Bringing the topic up would only result in angering the ghost.

So for Phantom to bring his own death up like this…

This was uncharted waters for any human.

This was serious.

Phantom pinched the bridge of his nose. “I can’t explain it, but it didn’t go right. I don’t—I can’t…” He huffed, his eyes turning up to her with an almost desperate look. “You must have noticed that I’m just different, right?”

Valerie nodded slowly. “I have, but you’re still just a ghost.”

Phantom’s eyes widened before turning back to the ground. “Right. I...no, you’re right. I’m just a ghost. But I…”

Valerie watched as his eyebrows pinched, his mouth thinning as something inside of him fought to surface. She wanted to speak, wanted to ask what did he mean when he said he was different, but she didn’t.

She couldn’t. 

She didn’t know what to say.

When he finally spoke again, his voice was quiet. “When I died, it went wrong. And my core couldn’t decide on what it wanted to be, so something inside of it fractured. One part of it focused on the people in the room with me, the people that I was worried about. I wanted to make sure they were safe. My friends. I wanted to protect them.”

Valerie held her breath.

According to studies, most ghosts didn’t remember their prior life, or the people in it. Memory loss was just a part of the process of transforming from human to ghost.

And yet…

Phantom clearly did.

“The other part of my core went to the thing I was doing just moments before. I was...I wanted to explore. I always loved space and astronomy. I wanted to work for NASA and see other worlds and...other dimensions. I know it sounds crazy, but it was just who I was. Who I still am.”

He looked up at her, and Valerie saw remnants of stars speckle in his eyes. “So my core settled on two modes. And depending on where I am or what I’m doing, it switches between them. My powers shift too. When I’m normal, I can project ectoblasts and control ice. But when I go into my space mode, I can’t do any of that. But I can control astronomy equipment, as you saw, and I can locate any star or planet in the sky.”

“So that’s how you knew where to move the telescope?” 

“Yeah.” He held out his hand, and a little ice Saturn formed in his palm. “I don’t know how I know where things are, but I just know. But it only happens when I let that part of my core take control of my body.”

“I see.” Valerie breathed out. “I get it. I get why you don’t want anyone to know. That’s kind of terrifying, knowing that you have a half of you that’s so defenseless.”

“Right…” Phantom set the planet down on the grass. “If word got out...if the government found out…”

Realization hit Valerie like a truck. “They could set up a trap, couldn’t they? Lure you into a place like this and take you out. It would be too easy.”

“Exactly,” Phantom said bitterly. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I swear.”

Phantom nodded, relief evident on his features. “Thank you, Valerie.”

Before she could stop herself, she stepped forward. And then again, approaching him slowly as if she were afraid he would disappear. 

But he didn’t move. He didn’t flinch.

He trusted her. Even after everything, he trusted her with one of his most vulnerable secrets.

She closed the gap between them, resting a hand on his shoulder and looking him square in the face. “I mean it, Phantom. I won’t tell anyone. Well, so long as you promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Bring me back here sometime, alright?” She shot him a grin. “This place is pretty cool, and if I have some sort of space wizard with me, I bet we could find a lot of sweet stuff, yeah?”

His aura brightened, and the smile was evident on his face. “Sure thing, Val!”

---

Thanks for reading!

[sadoeuphemist]

Alternative Conspiracy Theories:

1. CURVED SPACE

The Earth is flat, but the curvature of spacetime is so extreme as to make it appear rounded. This accounts for many of those niggling little issues that pop up when considering a Flat Earth, such as why ships seem to disappear below the horizon, or why you can see further from up high.

The repercussions of Curved Space are not to be underestimated. Consider: perhaps no stars exist other than the sun, and what we perceive to be stars are in fact the sun’s light traveling out in all directions along the curvature of the universe (which, if it is not uniform, allows for some rays of light to travel further, many hundreds of thousands of light years further than others), finally curving back to reach us again at different intervals as multiple images of the same star at various points in its life.

(Red giants and supernovae are where the light had to travel for so long that it’s older now. Binary stars are two different images of the sun superimposed where space curves in on itself. You can’t catch me napping! I’ve thought this all out!)

2. MANY MOONS

This theory was first conceived in inquiry to why a Flat Earth still appears to cast a rounded shadow across the moon. In fact, what we call the moon is really multiple different celestial objects, one resembling the full moon, one the crescent moon, one the gibbous, and so on. These various bodies orbit the Earth like comets, in long elliptical paths that coincide such that only one of them is near enough to be visible from Earth at any given time.

Uncommon lunar events, such as the blood moon, supermoon, etc., are unique celestial bodies of their own, and it is the Great Work of moonwatchers to compile a comprehensive accounting of all the different moon-like objects that have ever appeared in the sky. While Many Moon believers generally accept the validity of the moon landings, they also believe that human beings have only ever successfully landed on moons # 2, 4, and 5.

3. GEOCENTRICISM 2.0

According to the Theory of Relativity all motion is relative, and so it makes just as much sense to model the Earth as a stationary object with the sun and moon revolving around it, and all the other planets in their epicycles around the sun.

Why not? You think our current model of the solar system is valid? Pfft! I bet you still think Mercator maps are what the world really looks like. The sun isn’t even stationary, it’s moving through the universe, and so to keep with your outdated heliocentric model we’d have to imagine all the other planets spiraling after it in helices - how’s a geocentric model any more complicated than that?

It would be more intuitive! We’re the observers here on Earth, we’re stationary, from our perspective the sun and moon move across the sky. C’mon! Ptolemy had it right. Instead of a solar system, we should all be taught about our geo system! It’s all perfectly reasonable, right?

Okay, I guess technically, yes, there is a conspiracy. It does say on the website that the current solar system model is being propagated by a “cabal of postmodernist astronomers” looking to deliberately “devalue the significance of humanity in the cosmos”. But it’s true! They are! Just look at how much sense the geocentric model makes, and we’re yet still stuck revolving around the sun? Open your eyes! What explanation is there other than that?

4. IMPOSTOR SUN

Theories as to what happened to the original sun:

still there, light drowned out by impostor

chemicals in food / water led to buildup in retinal cells that filter out natural sunlight

glitch in simulation

Earth drifted slowly out of orbit, replacement was deployed

hidden from us behind the moon in perpetual eclipse

needs further blood sacrifices to be restored in strength

replaced “sometime during the night”

5. ACCELERATING EARTH

The Earth is held in the gravitational orbit of the sun. Gravity is acceleration—this is basic physics. Let something drop and it’ll keep going faster until it hits the ground or hits terminal velocity. Air resistance. There is no air resistance in space. The Earth is, has been, in constant acceleration. Freefall. It’s going faster now than it’s ever been before. 

You feel it, don’t you? In the pit of your stomach? Earth is going faster. It’s fucking up the atmosphere, the climate. We’re going so fast that we must be blazing like a meteor now. No, you can’t tell how long a year is anymore. You can’t trust the seasons. Seasons are based on axial tilt, not orbit. We’re askew. The calendar is lying to us. You can’t count the days. The days are getting longer - seriously. Moon’s leaching momentum from the Earth’s rotation. You can look this up, scientists will tell you. A billion years ago, days used to go by fast.

The Earth is going faster, but no one is admitting it. We’re still going by the calendar while Earth is plummeting perpetually off the edge in freefall. How many years have we lived through since January, how many circles ‘round the sun? Earth’s accelerating, and there’s nothing that can stop it. You can feel it, can’t you? This is the fastest it’s ever been.

[dissonantdreamer]

Part Seven under the cut:

My dearest wife Dina who is my wife and whom I love dearly,

Hey, babe. Hope this letter finds you well. They always do these days I guess, cause I put them there.

What’s up? The sky! I'm excited we’re going out to the cabin for two weeks for our Anniversary! Twenty years is a long time to put up with you, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. (We both know it’s the other way round, let me have this. Kay, babe?)

If you’re reading this letter, then you have completed my little scavenger hunt and are now packed and ready to go, we head out tomorrow. Unless you have something better you could be doing?

JJ promised he will watch Laika and Toony. The cats practically jumped into his arms. Starting to think they like him more than me, the person who feeds and loves them and calmly deals with their surprise murder gifts on our floor, hidden in the laundry basket, on the kitchen island, in our bed and occasionally, directly on my face at four am.

I still can't believe that Eugene had a book of astronomical events and celestial objects tucked away for posterity that we get to see this one in our lifetime. Let alone during our anniversary. I remember Joel saying he wanted to live long enough to see this sucker cross the sky cause he was way to young to witness and remember it last time it passed over our collective heads. I know this is a once in my life time experience, thank you for indulging me. For letting it be a once in our life time experience.

I’m excited I get to share this with you. I’m happy I’m alive at the same time as you to see it.

Twenty years around the sun with my favorite person. It's so strange how humans keep marking the passage of time. I guess how else would we know we've made such an achievement.

Twenty years has felt like no time at all and forever at the same time with you. You make my heart race and palms sweat all the same. You make me feel as if I’m nineteen all over again and it’s just you and me in the middle of the dance floor, and I don’t want to fuck up our friendship.

Then you kissed me. Suddenly, I’m panicking because the girl I like kissed me. I never thought in my wildest dreams (trust me they were wild) that she would ever want to kiss me, (let alone spend the rest of her life with me). I still can’t stop smiling because of you. I’m smiling right now as I write this, ask JJ, he’s making fun of me for it as I write. Should I tease him with the time we caught him making out in the kitchen with June and how love struck and gross he was? I’m gonna do it.

(He flipped me off. Definitely our son.)

I’m not making up for the things I’ve done anymore. I’m making things happen with you. It feels like I’m living. I am allowing myself to feel blessed to have you.

It's still weird for me to say. You're the closest I'll ever get to believing there’s something out there. If there’s more to this life than what we’ve experienced I hope my soul finds yours. If it doesn’t we’re made of stardust, the universe is us and when we go, we return home. I’ll go home to you.

Always. I found my way back to you twenty-three years ago. I’ll find my way back if it takes a millennia or several million.

You have been my guiding star all these years. Whenever I feel lost I look to you. You’re still the prettiest star in the universe. Twenty years and I’m still finding new constellations with you.

Thank you for giving me a second chance, for raising our son to be a kind compassionate man, like his father, for teaching me that if I have a bad day there is a chance to make tomorrow better.

Thank you for helping me remember how to laugh, for helping me discover new songs in my heart. For having my back when we're paired together, in life and on patrol. There is no one else I want beside me when the roads get tough.

Thank you for keeping me safe from myself when I can’t. Staying up with me after a bad dream long enough to make breakfast with me so I don’t have to feel guilty. Helping me come back to myself when the nightmares were too much to handle.

Thank you for never letting me be alone again.

Lyrics to your favorite Ellie original, since last year you got way too high and kept making up lyrics. Now you have no excuse not to sing this ramblin’ tune with me:

as we grow older

if our love will start to smolder

oh will you keep this beacon lit with me

cause you're my north star against the night

my silver dawn come morning light

next to you is where i want to be

where you go oh i will follow

through happiness and sorrow

oh won't you chart this course with me

cause you're my compass when i'm lost

the rose that points me home at any cost

next to you is where i'm meant to be

when your lost I will find you

when you’re without hope I’ll stand beside you

cause I was built for you and you for me

love is work but loving you comes easily

oh darlin’ don’t you see 

Here’s to twenty more.

May we both make it to seventy-three.

Yours,

then, now, forever,

Ellie, who is you wife and the anniversary planning fucking master.

P.S. If you haven’t packed light you might want to look up. I got you a gift.