#Sorry for drawing fictional characters about it. But I had to do SOMETHING

[voiarc-draws]

Here’s to Palestine

[kentowifey]

IM SHY!

contains;; gojo satoru, kento nanami, choso kamo, toji fushiguro, ryomen sukuna, geto suguru

alt title;; how the jik men react have sex w a shy!reader!!

warnings;; sorta sub!choso, sukuna's part is more explicit than the others (idk what to write), remember! that these r fictional characters they r not real!!, this is my first time writing for some of the character so i'm sorry if i didn't describe them well, sorry if it seem rushed

˖˚˳⊹NANAMI

When you try to avert your eyes from him, nanami believes that he did something wrong. stopping Halfway through, gliding his hand over your hips, he starts to soothe you as he asks what's wrong and if he should stop or not. you've had sex before but he's never seen you like this. When he realizes you're just shy, he chuckles and says he'll move very slowly. Nanami wants to hear your sweet voice always, but if you're too shy for that right now he can wait. maybe he can even close his eyes too if it'll make you feel better. You wan work up to looking at him, he doesn't mind.

˖˚˳⊹CHOSO

Choso is fine with you turning your head but he must hear you moan for him. He encourages you to vocal in bed as much, if not more, than he does. Your tiny whimpers and the breathy way you sigh his name cause his throbbing cock to tingle with pleasure. He needs to fuck every noise out of you, he has to find out what noises you can make for him while your pussy gets pounded by him.

˖˚˳⊹GETO

laying you on your side, geto wraps his arms over your stomach to draw you in, and continues to fuck you. this way, you won't need to be embarrassed about making eye contact as he can still go deep and paint his mark all over your lovely neck. That's a really good way to make love to you, in his opinion, until you get a bit more confidence.

˖˚˳⊹TOJI

Toji wants to look at you, to hear your sweet voice right now, but if you're too shy for that, he can work with that. pushing your head down into the pillows and angle your hips up, you don't have to look at him in this position but he can still see you perfectly, watching as his cock be swallowed up by your needy pussyhole while you stifle your moans by biting into the pillow..

˖˚˳⊹GOJO

Gojo got you covered! Your cunt feels so warm, so tight, and so wet that it is aching to be fucked by his cock. There is no way that he will stop fucking you. He is unable to stop at this point, so he uses his blindfold on you and silences your cries by placing his lips over your lips. your eyes roll back as you shake, clenching down on his cock as a clear stream of your juices hit his pelvis. Your boyfriend groans deeply before burying himself inside you and pumping you full with his cum.

˖˚˳⊹SUKUNA

His stare is so intense that you grow shy and cover yourself, whereas Sukuna quickly grips your wrist as a warning. “No. You do not hide yourself from me,” you whine softly as your fingers thread through his messy pink hair, throat bobbing up and down in nervousness. making himself comfortable between your soft thighs, strong and tattooed arms wrapped around them like muscular garter belts, keeping you pried open for him and him only.

[skz-streamer]

Cheeks

Pairing: Jisung (skz) x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: just brain rot fluff :)

Notes: Okayyyy so this wasnt exsactly an ask directed to mee but I was scrolling on my lovely moots page @seo--changbin and saw this post so ovi i had to write something 🙄🤭

Summary: Dinner with Han and the boys is always memorable, I mean who can forget Han's cute cheeks?!?

-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people

Word count ~1.3k ;)

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The restaurant buzzed with laughter and chatter as you and the boys gathered around a cozy corner table. Tonight, you were dining at your favorite spot, and the atmosphere was filled with warmth and friendship. You found yourself seated next to Jisung, and your heart fluttered with affection as you exchanged a subtle smile.

As the night went on, the conversation flowed effortlessly. The boys talked about everything from their recent performances to funny memories from earlier the week. Amidst the banter, you noticed Jisung occasionally getting caught up in the excitement of shared stories.

Without even thinking, you reached for a spoonful of his favorite dish and gently offered it to him. Jisung blinked in surprise but accepted with a smile, his cheeks puffing up adorably like a chipmunk. It was an unconscious gesture, an act of affection that came naturally to you whenever you saw him engrossed in something.

The other members around the table couldn't help but notice the sweet exchange and their eyes sparkled with amusement. Changbin, ever the playful one, chuckled and teased, "Hey, y/nah, are you his chef now?"

You blushed, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and endearment. "Oh, I-I didn't even realize I was doing it," you stammered, trying to hide your shy smile.

"It's cute," Felix chimed in, giving you both a thumbs-up. "You two are like a cute couple!"

Seungmin and Hyunjin joined in the teasing, calling you "the feeding fairy" and "Jisung's favorite cook," which only made Jisung's cheeks turn even rosier. But amidst the playful banter, you could see the warmth in their eyes, appreciating the genuine connection between you and Jisung.

Jisung, however, seemed to revel in the attention, shooting you a grateful look. "Well, I'm lucky to have someone who cares about me," he said, a touch of affection in his voice.

Throughout the dinner, the playful teasing continued, but it only made you and Jisung feel closer. Every time you noticed him getting caught up in the conversation, your hand would unconsciously reach out to feed him, and he would eat the food you offered with a smile.

The dinner progressed with moments of joy and camaraderie. The boys shared stories, laughed together, and bonded over the simple pleasure of being in each other's company. All the while, you continued to absentmindedly feed Jisung, a gesture that felt as natural as breathing.

As the night wore on, the table was filled with laughter, and you found yourself lost in the comfort of their company. Time seemed to slip away, and soon, the evening was drawing to a close.

Jisung nudged you playfully, breaking you out of your thoughts. "Hey, y/n, did you save me any of that delicious dish?"

You grinned, realizing that you had been so engrossed in the conversation that you forgot to eat yourself. "Oops, sorry, Jisungie," you said, picking up your spoon and scooping a fresh serving of the dish for him. "Here you go."

He chuckled, taking the offered spoonful and eating it with a satisfied sigh. "Thanks, you're the best," he said, giving you a wink.

The warmth in his eyes made your heart skip a beat, and you couldn't help but blush. Feeding Jisung had become such a natural and affectionate act, one that spoke volumes about the bond you two shared.

As the night progressed, you found yourself lost in the enchanting atmosphere of the dinner. The restaurant's soft lighting, the laughter of your friends, and the gentle touches exchanged between you and Jisung created an ambiance that felt like a dream.

With every tender gesture, you felt the affection between you two growing stronger. Jisung's eyes would meet yours in an unspoken language of love, and a small smile would form on his lips every time you fed him.

It wasn't just about the food; it was about the connection—the intimacy of sharing a moment that only you two understood amidst the laughter and chatter of the group.

The other members also noticed the affectionate exchanges between you and Jisung, and they couldn't help but find it heartwarming. Felix leaned over and whispered, "You two are adorable. It's like you have your little world there."

You chuckled softly, glancing at Jisung, who was engaged in a conversation with Changbin. "It feels natural, you know? Feeding him is like an instinct," you replied.

Seungmin nodded, teasing a little. "You both are like a cute old couple."

As the night drew to a close, you felt a sense of contentment settle over you. The dinner had been filled with laughter, affection, and heartfelt connections. You were grateful for the love and brotherhood that the boys shared, and above all, you were grateful for the love you and Jisung had discovered in the simplest of gestures.

As you all bid farewell and left the restaurant, the cool night air greeted you, and you walked hand in hand with Jisung, savoring the moment. The stars twinkled above, and you felt like the luckiest person in the world to have such a wonderful group of friends and to have found someone like Jisung who brought so much joy into your life.

"You know," Jisung said, breaking the silence, "tonight was special."

You looked at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips. "It was, wasn't it? I had the best time."

He chuckled, his eyes shining with affection. "Me too. And thanks for taking care of me during dinner. It means a lot to me."

"It's my pleasure," you replied, squeezing his hand gently. "I love taking care of you."

His cheeks turned pink, and he glanced away bashfully. "Well, I love it too," he admitted, his voice a little shy.

The night breeze caressed your cheeks, and you felt a surge of happiness that you couldn't contain. Jisung, sensing your excitement, pulled you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch sent a delightful shiver down your spine, and you snuggled into his embrace, feeling a sense of warmth and security enveloping you.

"Let's do this again sometime," Jisung said, his voice soft and tender.

"I'd love that," you replied, your heart swelling with joy. "Every moment with you is special."

He smiled, his eyes sparkling with affection. "I feel the same way."

-----------------

As the night continued, you and Jisung strolled hand in hand, enjoying the tranquil beauty of the city lights. The energy and excitement from dinner lingered, and you both felt an unspoken desire to extend the night.

"I don't want this evening to end just yet," Jisung whispered, pulling you closer.

You smiled, loving the idea of more time together. "Me neither. What do you have in mind?"

He grinned mischievously. "How about we go for round two? Let's grab a drink at that cozy cafe we love."

The suggestion brought a playful glint to your eyes. "Sure, but only if you promise not to get too hyper."

"I promise," Jisung replied with a chuckle. "One drink and I'll behave."

You walked hand in hand to the nearby cafe, finding solace in the comforting warmth and dim lighting. The ambiance was perfect for a quiet conversation, and you settled into a corner booth.

As you sipped on your drinks, the conversation flowed effortlessly. You talked about everything and nothing—sharing dreams, recounting funny moments, and basking in each other's company. Time seemed to slow down, allowing you both to enjoy every moment.

As the night deepened, a sense of peace settled over you both. You rested your head on Jisung's shoulder, feeling the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat. In the soft glow of the cafe, his eyes locked with yours, and you felt a rush of affection wash over you.

"I'm glad we had this second round," Jisung murmured, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

"Me too," you replied, your heart swelling with love. "I could spend forever with you like this."

His eyes softened, and he leaned in, pressing a soft, tender kiss on your lips. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you at that moment.

As you pulled back, a sweet smile graced his lips. "I love you," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

"I love you too," you replied, your heart brimming with happiness.

Permanent tag list: @eee5533 @mixtape-racha @ot8skz-wifey @ren0325

Click here to be added❤️

[llamagoddessofficial]

This is a different kind of question.

How do you feel comfortable writing self indulgent things? I want to write and draw my own things, I *desperately* want to feel loved by these characters, but every time I put pencil to paper, I feel like the creators - or worse, the characters themselves - are judging me; how dare I just assume that they would tolerate my presence, let alone want to hold me.

Sorry if this is a bit much, it’s just a curiosity I had to get off my chest.

Dante's Divine Comedy is considered one of the greatest pieces of world literature, and it is literally a self insert fanfic of Dante going through heaven and hell (all the people he hates are in hell btw) while his favourite historical poet looks after him. If he can do it, so can you.

I'm very much of the opinion that it doesn't matter if people are judging me for doing something I enjoy. Literally anything I do would probably be judged by someone, somewhere. I'd rather create, and fill my time with what makes me happy, than live my life according to the dogwater theoretical opinions of complete strangers.

I can't speak for the creators of the characters you want to write/draw about- however, I can speak for the characters themselves. They are fictional! They don't give a shit, they aren't real. They are figments of the imagination. You can make them like/dislike absolutely whoever you want. Personally, I love when people ship themselves with my characters. It feels like the biggest possible compliment.

Hope this helped a little.

[ruiniel]

Sorry to hear you are not feeling well! Hopefully with plenty of rest you will get well soon 🩶

Here’s an HC ask if you feel up to it:

Adrian x Bold/Flirty Reader

- The twins never happened and reader just stumbled upon Alucard in the forest some day, stunned by his beauty and grace.

- Reader has an occupation that requires them to go into the forest from time to time, as kind as Adrian, he started to help them out.

- Reader developed a crush on him as they gradually got to know each other. Bold as they are, they decided to take the first move by… you guessed it, flirting. The kind that ends with his face tinged with the loveliest pink.

- Adrian is still mourning over loss over family and friends, and only sees reader as a friend (a close friend? And a pretty friend. He doesn’t even know anymore.)

- Reader’s tactics slowly working. He starts to crave your company like he does with Sypha and Trevor.

- He stares at your lips, sometimes your behind. Averts his eyes as dhampirely as possible when he catches your returning gaze and thinks you haven’t notice. You do.

- “Accidental” touches on his thigh when passing something over; warm, ticklish breath near his sensitive ear while you stand behind him when he sits and reads. He swears you are driving him crazy.

- He may just snap one day. And you hope it comes soon.

Thank you, I'm getting there slowly but surely. Going off about fictional people helps the morale, y'know?

Oh a pining HC, and bold characters are so fun!

◈ It might be that your attitude in time could draw the other side of him to the surface... one he hasn't had the opportunity to explore much beyond nighttime ventures through the wilds, chasing the malevolent things lurking there: the thrill of the hunt. The side that goes "Let's find out..."

Remember that?

◈ His instincts are just as sharp in his humanoid form as in his wolf form, and he feels it: the scent of your attraction growing stronger, the way you can't control the impulse to try and get closer.

◈ He's wary, at first. But there is honesty about you, too, and that has a scent of its own, comforting and achingly sweet. He knows he's taking a gamble by trusting you but let's face it, if his friends have been gone for a while now in this context, he's certainly more in need of someone to share his time with than even he can admit to himself.

◈ Besides, since your encounters in the woods become more frequent, you seem unperturbed by his nature, even after he's told you more of himself and some (not all) of what he's done.

◈ He still feels immensely guilty about how it all came to pass, and misses his family. It's a very confusing time in his life and he doesn't want to burden you with that.

◈ He's also afraid you'd want nothing to do with him any longer if he did tell you everything, all the moments he can't forget, the scenes that play in his mind's eye over and over.

◈ You don't seem to be deterred by anything though, and with admiration he takes his metaphorical heart between his teeth one day and sits you down one afternoon, under an ancient oak tree where you sometimes share your lunch.

It all goes pleasantly enough. At one point you try to reach for a bottle, propping your hand on his leather-clad knee for support as you lift yourself to grab a hold of the glass container.

When you try to remove your hand, he stops you, his own hand over yours. "Why do you do these things?"

Nothing gets past Alucard when it comes to danger and battle but navigating interpersonal relationships? Not his forte. He knows it, you know it.

And so, you swallow before you answer. "I Iike it. Touching you."

"Why?" His eyes are earnest, and you appear out of your element for a moment before his bluntness. But he really, really looks like he wants, no, expects an answer.

"Does it bother you?"

He ignores your question completely. "I wonder if your hand will still be here, after I share with you what I have to say." All easy manner is gone from his attitude.

You watch him, bemused, but your hand stays right where it is, on his warm, tense thigh. He's just told you in no uncertain terms: I know what you're doing. I know you want me. You're still processing that, but the words that leave your mouth are: "Let's... find out?"

He takes a sharp intake of breath at that, watching you strangely. "I never told you how I ended up alone, did I?"

You shake your head, and wait. And listen.

By the time he's done, you're staring at the patterns of the blanket, and he's regretting having broken the image you'd probably concocted of him in your head.

"People make mistakes."

Alucard raises his head. The warm hand on his thigh is still there. "What?"

"I said, people make mistakes. And people sometimes must make difficult choices for reasons beyond them."

When you smile at him, when you tuck a strand of errant hair behind his ear and suddenly hug him, Alucard stays perfectly still: with shock, with... relief? But his response is so fierce you sigh in surprise, arms winding around you and holding you there. "You're not running away screaming," he whispers in your ear, feeling the little shudder running through you. He likes holding you, he likes being held. He craves it.

"No, but you would, if you knew the shape of my thoughts when it... comes to you."

He'd love to pull your head back, to stare into your eyes as you say it. And so: he does. "My dear, dear friend... I want to know everything."

That was a mix of HCs and a scene haha I take no responsibility *blames it on the meds*

[yarrystyleeza]

𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝟐𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫!

Well, as the title suggests, I am turning 22 on January 30th (yes I can't believe it either), and it's a very very special number to me, I was obsessed with it since I was a kid—because of Taylor Swift's 22 of course (you have no idea how happy my inner child is now!).

However, I thought I should celebrate this very important event with you by hosting my second sleepover! (honestly I was planning to make this a double sleepover if I hit 300 followers before my birthday, but since I didn't, I really had to host a sleepover)

As usual, my sleepover will host games, questions, asks, and definitely, requests!!! <3

The sleepover will be a week long, from January 30th till February 6th, where you can submit asks and requests!

Note on prohibited things that I won't be doing or answering:

No nsfw/dirty asks, writing requests or questions, it's uncomfortable for me sometimes, and this is an all-ages-friendly celebration. No further elaboration, please respect this. <3

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬:

Here's a list of the games we can play:

Kiss/Marry/Kill: you give me three characters and I will sort each one in one of these categories! (make it hard for me)

Would you rather: you give me two things/characters and I get to choose one that suits me better! (for example: night owl or early bird?)

Make an assumption: you literally make an assumption about me and I either prove it or deny it!

Never have I ever: you ask me about things I did or didn't do!

Exchanged Ships: basically, you give me a character that you find as my significant other, and I will give you a character in exchange and why I think it's the perfect character for you!

Random Q&A: you can ask me about anything, whether it's my favorite food or even what fabrics do I prefer to wear, ask whatever you want!

Girly Talks: just talk to me about any girly topic you want and we'll establish a good conversation! Let's talk about books or authors, favorite poetry pieces, maybe movies we loved in our childhood, or even your favorite outfits back when you were a 10 year old! Literally anything!

Rate My Music Taste: give me a song/artist and I will rate it from 1 (absolute flop) to 10 (total banger)! — (this is absolutely done just for fun).

I Wanna Write You A Song: start with a phrase and we will make a totally original song together in the reblogs!

Doodles: give me something simple to draw!

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬:

As for writing requests, I will be taking fluff/angst/violence (blood and gore—due to the nature of the characters I write for) x female!reader requests only. But of course you can request the prompt you desire. <3

As for the characters, here's a list of the fictional men that I would be writing for:

Matt Murdock/Daredevil

Foggy Nelson

Tristan Thorn

Michael Kinsella

Henry (from Eat Locals)

Daryl Dixon

(might consider writing for other Charlie Cox/Norman Reedus characters. example: Ian Hamilton, Owen Sleater, Scud, Murphy MacManus, etc.)

You can ask for prompt included in this list or ones you come up with yourself:

intimate moments / gestures that make me feel love / romantic rainy day prompts / gentle things that make me fall harder in love / fluffy comforting/sick dialogue prompts / lighthearted first kiss prompts / sparring prompts / forced proximity prompts / date prompts masterpost /

Note that I will be tagging the fic requests with #yuna's 22 birthday sleepover so they're easy to find, but they will be sorted in my main masterlist as regular requests! <3

tagging my moots to spread the word sorry for being a little too annoying hehe (and I tried to tag as much as possible but my memory is messing around with me I'm sorry if I forgot anyone): @v4leoftears @remonemo @fizanotfeeza @bunmurdock @bellaxgiornata @kal-0n @1988-fiend @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @floral-charlie-cat @farfromstrange @babygirlmurdock @mattmurdocksscars @itwasthereaminuteago @c-mrdck @xxeycisxx @loveroftoomanyfandoms @mindidjarin @little-miss-dilf-lover @shiorimakibawrites @tongueofcat @marytheweefrenchie @chvoswxtch @devilsmurdock @galaxies-and-moons-and-cox @acharliecoxedfan @folkloreandfall @murdocklorian @munsonownsmyass @abbyhaslongshorts @murc0ck @lazyxsquirrel @theradioactivespidergwen @xxdrixx @saintmurd0ck @softasawhisper @she-likesorchids @peterman-spideyparker @mattmurdocksstarlight @amberlynnmurdock @courtforshort15 @saltedlays @importantnightwerewolf @lene-loki

That's basically everything I have for my birthday sleepover, feel free to submit requests and games! Thank you for coming to my sleepover tonight! <3

[weneeya]

hiya <3 how are you? I hope you're fine 🫶

I was just wondering, if I could request some Kazuha fluff/comfort? I don't know really have a plot idea, so you can choose anything you want. I'm just feeling quite stressed lately as I've got a new guitar teacher who makes me very very uncomfortable and whose actions trigger some of my earlier childhood trauma but it seems like none of my family and friends understand my situation. The only thing I'm craving right now is some understanding and care from my fav fictional character as I'm afraid of seeing that teacher even three days beforehand :(

I hope you're comfortable with it and it's not too specific. If you don't want to do this kind of content, it's totally fine, please don't feel pressured to write something you don't like/feel like writing!

Anyways, I hope you're safe and have an amazing day <3

safe place w/ kazuha m.list | rules

note. hiii! I'm doing great, ty! I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I hope you're doing okay right now :( it's not easy, especially when you feel alone in this, but everything's gonna be fine I can promise <3 take care of yourself, it's important, and stay safe ; I hope my work would help you at least a little bit <3

You were feeling awful. It was like the world was against you, not giving you even a second to breathe peacefully. Everything was too much, and you were so tired of this. You felt like nothing could be better, and you were even maybe thinking about the worst. 

You were sitting on the edge of a hill, your eyes looking into the void, alone with the silence and the wind. Or at least, until Kazuha arrived. He was doing a small walk in the landscapes of Inazuma when he saw you. This is why he decided to come closer to you. 

He sat right next to you, looking in the same direction as you. He stayed silent, not wanting to ruin the moment. You seemed like you needed this, and it didn’t want to bother you. But leaving you alone felt like this worst idea. 

You sighed slowly, before you let yourself fall slightly against his body, your head resting on his shoulder. You closed your eyes and Kazuha’s hand found its way to yours so he could grab it softly and stroke it with the same softness. 

You didn’t need to talk with Kazuha, and you knew it. He would never force you to say anything, but you knew that he would also be there if you needed to say anything. He was probably the person you felt the most comfortable with, and you were glad that he was here today : you couldn’t do this alone. 

As his fingers were drawing small circles on the back of your hand, he started to hummed softly, looking through the horizon. Your heart felt so much lighter suddenly, and your mind started to get completely blank. All the thoughts you had previously were disappearing and it was all thanks to Kazuha’s presence. 

“You don’t have to stay alone,” he said finally, not looking at you. You opened your eyes, raising your gaze to his face ; he was still looking in front of him. “Call me, and I’ll always come.” He finally met your gaze, and a soft smile could be seen on his lips. 

You felt like you were about to cry. The simple idea of having someone finally understanding you, no matter what, and being here for you was putting you on the verge of tears. You would never be thankful to Kazuha enough, but you knew that he didn’t care. All he cared about was your wellbeing. 

You closed your eyes again, your head still against his shoulder. You both stayed silent, taking a moment to finally breathe. You need this, and maybe that he needed it too. Nothing else existed except you two right now, and it was all that mattered.

take care of yourselves, it's really the most important thing ; and be safe, protect yourselves, you are important, you are loved <3

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part twenty-one: "The Time You Did Tell Him"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Matt stops by your apartment as Daredevil, clearly bothered by something that happened to him that night. Eventually you confess your feelings for him and you both share an intimate moment together.

Or

You finally tell Matt you love him. And then you ride him on your couch.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 4.9k

a/n: So this is fluff and a smutty smupdate! Reader is starting to get a bit bolder, which gradually continues as the series progresses! You can find all of the installments for this series currently on tumblr listed here.

Sitting cross-legged on your couch, you cuddled into the plush blue blanket wrapped around the back of you. You were clutching one of the soft couch pillows to your chest with both hands, eyes glued to your television. 

It was Friday night, the week had been long and Matt was out doing his Daredevil thing. And you were not in the mood for the barrage of horror movies that were taking over every channel this month, so you’d settled on finally catching up on Bridgerton. It had been awhile since you’d watched it–truthfully since you’d come back from Foggy and Marci’s wedding. Because really, who needed to live vicariously through a fictional steamy relationship when you had Matthew Murdock as a boyfriend? He was the living embodiment of steamy relationship–especially when it came to charming compliments and mind-blowing sex. Even if he did dress up in what equated to a Halloween costume a few nights a week punching criminals senseless.

Currently you were entranced on the episode in your darkened apartment, having settled in to binge with the lights off. You were absently chewing on your thumbnail, practically holding your breath and waiting for the two characters on screen to actually kill you before the sexual tension did, when three rhythmic knocks came from somewhere near the left of your television. You screamed, throwing the pillow into the air as your heart nearly beat out of your chest.

Eyes wide, you focused your attention to where the sound had come from and found Daredevil outside of your window crouched on your fire escape with a wide smile spread over his face. He looked like he was laughing at how he’d startled you, the beautiful bastard. As if he sensed your eyes on him–and who the hell knew with that man, maybe he did–he raised a gloved hand and exaggeratedly waved at you. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed the remote and paused your show before getting off of the couch and crossing the room towards the window. You opened it and stepped aside, letting him climb through as the cool October air blew into your apartment with him.

“I’m sorry,” Matt said, humor in his tone as he pulled his other leg through the window, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t realize how focused on that show you were.” He shot you a little smirk, and with most of his face obscured by his helmet it was hard to miss the intent in it. "Though with how invested in it you seemed to be I should have figured."

You closed the window behind him, locking the cold back out as a blush crept over your cheeks at having been caught being mildly turned on from the whole romance of the show. Turning towards him, you took in the sight of his amused expression. “You should make more noise when you show up, Matt,” you informed him, ignoring his other comment, "with how much you sneak up on me in my apartment. You're like a damn ninja and I need you to be more of a bumbling elephant. "

“Bumbling elephant?" he asked, his gloved hands landing on your hips and drawing you into him. "I'm not sure I can quite manage that."

"Of course you can't," you muttered. "You're too far from being a bumbling elephant to begin with." The grin he shot you had your eyes darting away from him for a moment. “So uh, I thought you were going to be out for awhile tonight?” you asked, clearing your throat. 

From your peripheral you gradually saw his grin morph into something gentler as he gazed back at you, the horned helmet still covering half his face. That caught your attention and you eyed him curiously.  

"Yeah, I was planning on it but I just…" he stopped, voice trailing off.

You could see the way his cheeks were twitching, the muscles working as if he was thinking hard about something. Immediately you knew something had happened while he was out and you became a little nervous, wondering what would have him showing up at your apartment like this. 

Hesitantly you stepped closer to him, hands carefully lifting the helmet from his head, his face slowly revealing itself to you. The expression in his eyes was soft as they focused along your neck. You turned, setting his helmet on the corner of your television stand behind you before you returned your attention to him, running your hands through his hair to fix the mussed pieces. A gentle smile slipped onto his mouth, his hands still on your hips lightly rubbing affectionate circles over the fabric of your sweatpants. 

"Something happen tonight?" you asked him carefully.

"Yeah," he answered softly.

Licking your lips, you noticed how he didn’t say more. You chewed the inside of your cheek nervously before you grabbed one of his gloved hands from off your hips and pulled him further into your apartment and towards the couch. "How about I get you a glass of water?" you asked.

"That'd be great," he said, his voice still gentle. “Thank you.”

You eyed him curiously for a moment, unsure what to make of his tone and the warm, fond expression on his face as he tracked your movements to the kitchen.  

"Are you going back out?" you called over to him as you filled a glass.

"No," he answered when the faucet had turned back off. "I uh, I was wondering if I could stay with you tonight?"

Your eyes narrowed, even more curious as you made your way back towards him. Handing him the slightly cool glass of water, you wondered what had happened tonight and what was going through his mind. 

"Of course you can stay, Matty," you assured him. "I'll go grab you a shirt and some pants so you can get comfortable. I'll be right back."

Heading into your bedroom, you began pulling out one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants from your dresser. You hesitated a moment, a slow smile creeping onto your mouth as you took in the sight of his clothes sitting next to yours. A warm feeling flooded you as you closed the drawer and headed back out towards your living room.

You found Matt half undressed, his Daredevil suit no longer covering his upper body when you returned. Trying not to stare too much you quickly set the clothes on the coffee table before heading over to help. You unbuckled a few straps around his leg, releasing the billy club holster and setting it aside. Matt began sliding out of the rest of the suit, your eyes drawn to his ass as he bent over in his dark boxers.

He huffed out a laugh as he pulled the suit off his last leg. "I can practically feel your eyes on my ass, sweetheart," he teased. 

You immediately glanced away, biting your lip as you grabbed his sweatpants from the coffee table. "I don't know what you're talking about," you mumbled awkwardly. 

He rose back upright, accepting the sweatpants from you with a smile on his face. 

"You…want to talk about whatever clearly happened tonight?" you asked him.

For a moment he stood there, sweatpants in hand as he stared at you for a long while. You felt your heart increase under that fond expression on his face. Slowly he began unfolding the pants.

"There was an older gentlemen whose wife had a heart attack tonight. Outside of their apartment," he told you, his focus on pulling the sweatpants up his legs. His voice was low as he continued, and you listened intently, your own expression softening. "I helped him get an ambulance in time for her. Waited around the hospital for a bit after. She was thankfully alright in the end," he said, tone still oddly quiet. "I checked back in with the man after things had settled down. He uh, he told me about how long they'd been together. All these stories about their lives together. Dates they'd been on," he said, a faint smile on his mouth. "And I'd felt how terrified he was, how afraid he was to lose her tonight and I just–just felt like I had to be there, you know?” You nodded lightly in response before he continued on. “And then after, when she was okay," he said softly, his gaze landing on your left shoulder, "I just…felt like I had to be here."

Your hands fidgeted nervously in front of you at his words, the look on his face doing something to your heart. “Oh,” you breathed out. “I–I’m glad to hear she was alright.”

He crossed the few feet of space between the pair of you, disregarding his shirt on your coffee table. You felt your breath coming in shallower with him standing before you, clad in just sweatpants that were slung low on his hips and that warm, affectionate gaze directed fully on you. If he kept it up you might actually forget how to breathe.

His hands landed on your hips carefully, slowly drawing you into him before one of his hands made its way up to your chin. Fingers gently grasping it, he tilted your face up towards his. You swallowed hard, unable to read the expression in his eyes–despite being sightless, they were far from emotionless. Gradually he leaned closer towards you and your eyes fluttered closed, expecting him to lean in for a kiss until you felt his forehead lightly come to rest against yours.

Eyes opening, you glanced at Matt before you. His own eyes were closed, that unreadable expression still drawn across his face. The hand he still had on your hip tugged you in further against his body before gliding towards your lower back and holding you to him, fingers splayed wide over your over-sized tee-shirt. His other hand came to cup your right cheek, his thumb gently gliding back and forth along your skin.

Your lips parted, your body being filled with a warmth that wasn’t just from your growing arousal. Your hands tentatively made their way to his solid and bare chest, a soft sigh falling from Matt the moment you touched him. Both of your breaths were mingling in the miniscule amount of space still between both of your parted lips. When he shifted his forehead against yours, his nose lightly bumping into your own, the words almost came out.

“Matt, I–”

You stopped yourself, heart rate drastically climbing, the organ itself pounding so hard in your chest you could actually feel your pulse vibrating through your entire body. He tensed against you, you could actually feel his muscles contract as if in anticipation. His eyebrows had even pulled together just a little when you’d stopped yourself, the corner of his mouth tugging downwards almost imperceptibly. 

“Say it,” he whispered. “Please, say it.”

A shiver ran down your spine, goosebumps abruptly rising along your forearms. Did he know what you’d been about to say? But how could he?

Trying to calm your breathing, your eyes focused on his mouth so close to yours. You could feel the heat of his breath blowing over your mouth with each of his exhales. Summoning whatever courage you had, feeling so lightheaded from your shallow breaths that you might faint, you nervously whispered, “I–I love you, Matthew.”

Instantly you saw his lips curl up into a large smile; a happy, contented hum came from his throat. His nose intentionally bumped against yours this time, the hand on your lower back somehow holding you tighter to him.

“Say it again,” he begged, lips so close they were grazing yours as he spoke.

“I love you, Matthew,” you breathed out, repeating the confession.

His mouth gently landed on yours, kissing you only briefly before he broke away. He whispered your name immediately after, the sound drawing a shuddering breath from your mouth. “I love you, too,” he whispered. “And I have been dying to hear you say that for weeks. Ever since that charity event when I figured out why your body would occasionally have a meltdown around me,” he admitted with a light chuckle. “I…wanted to hear you say it first. But you were taking so long I almost lost my resolve and said it so many times before now.”

“You knew?” you asked breathlessly. Your mind was still trying to take a few minutes to mentally wrap around the fact that this man loved you back.

He smiled, nodding his forehead against yours. “I figured there was only one thing that you could be holding back saying–one thing that would make your body react like it had been around me–that you’d be that terrified to just tell me.”

Still feeling lightheaded, especially with how close he still was to you after that big revelation, you asked, “Why were you waiting for me to say it?”

“Because you’re always so timid,” he whispered, thumb continuing to stroke your cheek affectionately again. “I wanted to hear you be the one to say it first. Wanted you to find your voice and tell me how you felt.” He slipped in a quick peck to your lips, grinning after. “I love you,” he whispered.

You couldn’t fight the smile that spread over your own lips, your hands sliding up his chest and wrapping around the back of his neck. “I love you, too,” you murmured, nerves still rolling in your stomach at finally saying it and hearing it in return.

“And now,” he said, the grin growing on his face, the hand he had on your back slowly snaking its way towards your stomach, “I want to show you how much I love you.”

His lips were back on yours, the hand on your cheek holding your mouth firmly to his as he kissed you earnestly. Your mouth reacted immediately, matching the eager pace. You felt his right hand slip down past the waistband of both your sweatpants and your underwear, two warm fingers lightly rubbing along your clit soon after. You hissed in pleasure at the contact, your fingers gripping the hair at the nape of his neck in response, heat flooding your body instantly. 

Matt’s mouth was soon at your neck, placing open mouthed kisses underneath your jaw. The sensation was shooting warm jolts of pleasure all through your body as your head fell back, a moan falling out of your mouth.

“Take your clothes off,” Matt ordered, lips still at your neck.

You began tugging your shirt up, Matt inevitably and unfortunately having to remove his mouth from your neck when you needed to pull the shirt over your head. He took the opportunity to slide his sweatpants and boxers off as you slipped your own sweatpants and underwear down your legs. Hands fumbling with your bra clasp as you stepped out of your clothes, you quickly tried to remove your bra as your eyes focused on Matt's growing erection before you. 

And you found yourself abruptly overcome with the desire to ride him on your couch, your face heating at the thought. 

Just as your bra fell to the floor, Matt's hands were on your body, tugging you into him. Chewing your bottom lip roughly, feeling moderately emboldened by the knowledge that Matt loved you, you tentatively raised a hand to his bare chest. He paused, stopping from leaning into you for what you suspected was another kiss. His brows drew together, a small crease forming between them. Timidly, you gently pushed him back towards your couch and he took one step back. A little thrill shot through you as he did and you pushed him a bit more firmly towards your couch a second time. He stepped backwards, the back of his legs hitting your couch as a coy smile slid across his mouth. He sat, staring expectantly back up at you before him. Ignoring any and all self-conscious thoughts trying to force their way to the forefront of your mind right now, you focused on Matt’s beautiful naked body seated on your couch waiting for you. 

“Maybe I want to show you,” you whispered.

Gradually you placed your right knee on the couch beside his left thigh before drawing your left knee up onto the couch until you were effectively straddling his lap. Your hands lightly landed on his shoulders, your eyes never leaving his face. Somehow the expression on his face, one of excited anticipation, had begun to ease some of the nerves in your body at the position you had found yourself in. 

Because you were determined to ride Matthew Murdock until you made him feel as good as he always made you feel.

While your left hand steadied yourself atop Matt, your right hand snaked its way up his neck and to his chin, gently tilting his face towards yours. He smiled warmly up at you, his hands coming to rest on both of your hips. Exhaling softly, you lowered yourself to his lap until your slickened cunt could grind slowly along the underside of his cock. Matt's fingers dug into the flesh of your hips in response, a faint moan leaving his mouth. Without thought or hesitation, your lips dropped down to his, the sounds of his pleasure now muffled against your mouth as you kissed him. 

Your tongue swiped along his lip, pleased when he eagerly allowed it to slip inside of his mouth. Surprising even yourself, your tongue began lapping into Matt's mouth over and over with a determined focus, relentlessly drawing quiet little moans from his throat into your own mouth. The sound of him exhaling sharper and sharper breaths from his nose as you did was only drawing more dampness between your thighs as your hips picked up their pace, grinding yourself harder along the length of him. Focused on his mouth, you didn’t realize he’d released a hand from your hip, drawing it back and placing a smack against your ass before it returned to roughly gripping your hip.

Slipping your tongue out of his mouth, you gasped out, the sting of his hand leaving a warm sensation in its place. Switching your focus, your right hand tilted his head back along the backrest of the couch, your hips moving almost aggressively along him at this point. But while your hips were moving confidently, your mouth timidly made its way to his throat. Though the moment your lips lightly kissed the warm, sensitive skin of his neck, you audibly heard Matt's breath hitch beside your ear. Spurred on by his reaction, you slowly swiped the tip of your tongue up the side of his neck, a shock of excitement rolling through you when a deep rumble of a growl vibrated underneath your tongue. Your hips ground down harder against him.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he whispered.

You glanced up, watching the expression of pleasure draw itself across his face in the glow of the paused television show–brows pulled together, his eyes clamped shut, his lips parted as soft pants expelled from between them. Smiling a little triumphantly, you lowered back to his neck and more firmly licked the flat of your tongue up along the pulse point of his throat and delighted when his hips roughly bucked up into you as something like a whine flew from him. Curiously, you placed a kiss to that spot on his neck, noticing the way in which his jaw tightened just above you. He whispered your name, the sound of it mixed in with his rough pants had your cunt throbbing along his cock. You sucked the skin into your mouth next, focusing on the spot that was drawing something like a whimper from him.

"I'm going to cum," he rumbled out, voice strained, "with the way you keep grinding on me and kissing my neck. And sweetheart," he said, and you paused, taking in the sight of him looking as if he truly was refraining from letting go beneath you already, "I really want to feel you before I do."

"Sorry," you whispered, straightening up in his lap.

His eyes instantly snapped open, focusing around your chin. "No, don't apologize," he quickly told you. "You like this–letting loose, taking control, feeling comfortable enough to do that with me," he ground out between gritted teeth, clearly trying to rein himself in. "It's incredibly sexy and I'm having a hard time holding back because of it."

“Yeah?” you asked him curiously.

He nodded, his head still laying along the backrest as his eyes were still on your chin. “You have no fucking idea, sweetheart,” he murmured. 

You rose on his lap, lowering your right hand and grabbing his hard, throbbing cock. Carefully you lined him up with your slickened slit and gently lowered–immediately you had to stop, barely fitting much of him inside of you before you hissed at the expected and delicious feel of him stretching you. Matt, on the other hand, had let out a low groan, his eyes clamping shut again as his head rolled back on the couch just from the feel of the briefest bit of his cock slipping inside of you. And that had you gripping his broad shoulders firmly with both of your hands.

After a moment, you slowly sunk lower until he was entirely sheathed inside of your cunt. You were panting yourself now, eyes closed as you adjusted to that fullness he always filled you with. And fuck if you didn’t love the feel of his cock buried inside of you. The feel of it alone had your cunt fluttering around him as you circled your hips briefly, delighting in the little whines he emitted in response. 

Matt’s head rolled further back on the backrest as he inhaled a sharp, shuddering breath. “Shit,” he breathed out. “I love how your beautiful pussy always takes a minute to fit me.” His jaw clenched, his eyes still tightly closed. “I can feel every twitch and it's so good . You feel so fucking good.”

The topic of conversation clenched around him again at the compliment and Matt moaned yet again. Carefully you rose up along his cock, eyes focused on Matt’s face below you, before you slowly eased back down on him. He hummed out a contented noise in response and you repeated the motion, nails digging into his shoulders a little. You took your time for a minute, slowly rising up and eventually slamming harder and harder down onto him until the pair of you were gasping every time you felt him roughly bottoming out inside of you.

Soon your hips had picked up their pace and you were fucking Matt steadily, watching as he was falling apart under you. The sight was like nothing you’d experienced before, especially not with him. It felt empowering watching the infamous Daredevil literally whimpering beneath you as you fucked him. A string of curses flew out of him, brows drawn tight together as his hips occasionally fucked up into you. You felt your orgasm slowly building deep inside of you when one of his hands slid down to grip your ass hard, encouraging your pace.

Your forehead lowered, your hips fiercely bouncing you along Matt’s cock with a vicious pace now. His head instantly rolled back up off the couch, his own forehead coming to rest against yours. You were both breathing heavily, mouths just an inch apart, your exhales mingling in the small space between you. His other hand left your hip, sliding its way up your back before his fingers roughly dug into it, pulling you closer. His mouth was attacking yours a second later, feverishly kissing you in an onslaught of tongue, lips, teeth, and saliva. You felt like you were going to have a sensation overload from all of the stimulation.

“You’re getting close,” he whispered against your mouth, his forehead still against yours.

“Yes,” you breathed out. 

Your hips were still forcefully ramming into Matt repeatedly, not even remotely slowing down. He was right, you were on the edge of your climax, just needing that one little push to send you toppling over.

“So am I, sweetheart,” he grunted out. “You think you can–” he paused, gritting his teeth as his hand on your back pushed your chest further into his, “–think you can cum with me?”

You felt your cunt tightening around him–fuck you were so goddamn close. Nodding vigorously against his forehead, your eyes focused on him beneath you, your right hand released his shoulder to cup his cheek. Immediately his eyes opened, glancing up at you curiously. You leaned in and kissed him, sucking that plump bottom lip into your mouth. He held tight to you where his hands were currently positioned on your body–one on your back and one on your left ass cheek–before he started thrusting up into you furiously from below. You cried out in surprise, feeling your walls tightening instantly around his cock. The beginning of your orgasm started to crest over you at the sensation of him driving himself so fucking hard into you.  

A loud, strangled moan came from Matt’s mouth seconds later as your mouth dropped down, sucking the skin along his neck. You felt his hips beginning to stutter underneath yours shortly after. The sound of him loudly calling out your name as he came inside of you had your lips slipping from his neck. Your head fell back along your shoulders, eyes rolling back into your head behind closed lids as you felt yourself squeezing his cock. He shifted before you, his own mouth attaching itself to your neck as he lapped at you with his tongue.

“ Fuck, Matt ,” you choked out, hips still bouncing along him.

One of Matt’s hands quickly found its way to the front of you, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing just right, drawing your orgasm out longer than you thought was humanly possible.

“That’s it,” Matt encouraged you, mouth moving along your throat as he spoke, your toes curling at his voice. “Cum for me, beautiful.”

You felt like you were barely breathing by the time you reached the end of your orgasm. Sweat-slicked forehead collapsing down onto Matt’s shoulder, you were exhausted and pleasure drunk. His head shifted beside you, planting a gentle kiss to your temple as he continued to expel a few hard breaths himself.

“Was that more satisfying than watching that little romance drama that was getting you worked up?” Matt teased.

A tired smile spread across your mouth that was still pressed into his sweaty shoulder. “Someone jealous of a television show?” you teased back.

“Well it was apparently turning you on,” he joked.

“Mmm,” you hummed against his skin, “nothing like you do.”

He chuckled underneath you, the movement shaking you lightly along the couch. Matt took a moment, raising your hips and letting his cock slip out of you before he readjusted you on his lap. Your head remained comfortably against his shoulder, not bothering to move.

“That was incredibly sexy, by the way,” he told you. “Anytime you want to take charge, sweetheart, you are more than welcome to.”

A flush crept up your cheeks, realizing exactly what you’d just done and wondering how the hell you’d mustered the courage to mount him on your couch and ride him until he was a mess beneath you. 

But you sure as shit enjoyed it.

“Good to know,” you whispered a little shyly into his shoulder.

“Hey,” Matt said, lightly shrugging the shoulder you were resting on until your face turned towards him. His gaze was focused along your right cheekbone, a warm smile on his mouth as looked down at you. “Don’t. Don’t go feeling like you need to hide from me, sweetheart. I can feel you getting nervous on me.” His large palm rubbed a soothing circle along your back as his eyes creased at the corners. “I love you,” he whispered. “Don’t hide from me.”

You couldn’t fight the smile settling onto your face as you looked back up at him from your place along his shoulder. “I love you, too, Matt,” you whispered back.

He leaned forward, planting a kiss to your forehead. When he pulled back, his hand lightly patted your back. “We should probably get cleaned up, though.”

Your face turned, burying itself back into him. You mumbled something into his shoulder but it came out muffled.

“What?” Matt asked.

Turning your head just a bit, you repeated awkwardly, “I literally can’t move my legs. They’re dead after that. Completely fucking mush.”

He fell into a fit of laughs underneath you and you couldn’t resist joining in, lightly swatting his arm.

“Not all of us are goddamn superheros with the bodies to go with it,” you countered. 

His laughter faded out but a large smile remained on his face as he looked back at you. “I love your body exactly as it is, mushy legs included, sweetheart.”

“ Matt !” you hissed, though you couldn’t resist the laugh that fell out of you again.

He began shifting underneath you, helping you off of his lap and onto the couch beside him as he chuckled. “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” he assured you with a gentle pat on your thigh. 

He rose from the couch and you watched as the dim light from the television lit his naked body before he headed down the hall towards your bathroom. Your eyes lowered, appreciating just how great his ass looked, especially with nothing covering it.

“I can feel you staring at my ass again,” he called back over his shoulder.

Your eyes widened instantly. “How can you possibly tell?” you asked him in disbelief. 

His answer was a bark of laughter before he disappeared into your bathroom.

[plague-of-insomnia]

I ship sebaciel but I only like their dynamic, in my head I imagine an adult Ciel and I only read fanfics when Ciel is way over 18 and can decide by himself/not be manipulated. I was raped when I was 15, I could never ship something like that. But anti pro shippers never bother to see the nuance. I'm afraid if I start publicly shipping it, people will call me a pedo lol Also I think that the ones who like the age gap still can't be compared to real pedos who consume lolicon/ realistic drawings who REALLY resemble children and explicitly are in a setting of a child being molested. I see incels doing that, and the kuro fandom is mostly women.

Hi, anon. Sorry I didn’t reply yesterday. I had COVID a couple weeks ago and now have bronchitis and i just ran out of gas to formulate a response I felt this ask merited.

First of all, I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve been able to get past it enough that it doesn’t affect your daily life too badly 🫂.

Sadly, a lot of antis act as if they’re the only ones who have been victims of (sexual) abuse, and that any survivor who doesn’t behave the way they do either must be lying or “deserved” what they got— which is absolutely awful to do to anyone.

As I’m sure you’re aware, we’re not a monolith. Some survivors find rape play (whether role play or in fictional works) helps them move past their trauma because it helps them to have the control they didn’t have as victims. But others find it triggering and upsetting and not helpful at all— and that’s valid too.

I personally don’t ship sc anymore mostly because I just don’t click with Ciel in the ship the way I do with other pairings. I also personally get very very uncomfortable with some underage depictions. For example, there was a fantastic sc fan fic a few years ago that I had to stop reading. It is one of the best written works in the fandom, but it just made me so uncomfortable (it’s underage) I had to stop.

But what did I do? Did i leave the author an angry message saying I was not gonna read it? No, ofc not. I just clicked away.

So if for you, you need situations in which you feel Ciel can fully consent/is in control to feel comfortable and happy then that’s perfectly valid! There’s no one “right” way to ship anything, and you have to look out for yourself first. Because we come to fandom to have fun and escape, so no need to delve into things you don’t like or that make you uncomfortable.

Antis are incapable of seeing these kinds of nuances, or realizing that purposefully consuming content that upsets you is self harm.

Sadly, if you openly ship sc (or even aren’t absolutely against it) you may get some hate. I know I have gotten my share, and it’s *always* about Ciel, no matter how I’ve depicted other characters or what ages they are in my stories. But I’ve also gotten hate for being a fujoshi (misgendering me at that) more than once, and some of it even before I joined the fandom… for my original work.

My point is that people are gonna attack you if they’re gonna attack you…. if you’re not willing to take that risk by being public about your ship that’s valid too. I definitely get how exhausting antis can be and if you’re just wanting to stare at your blorbos for a bit you don’t wanna be fighting of negativity left and right too.

It’s a shame that antis have started using the word pedo as a word for anyone they dislike, devaluing it, but the real shame imo is that they refuse to see that actual CSEM is bad not because it’s gross or immoral but because it harms actual children, who grow up to be adults with trauma.

I think it’s very important to distinguish actual CSEM (or “fictional works” that were intentionally modeled off real CSEM) from anything that’s purely fictional. Because you can never really know why someone made something or why someone likes something.

I write about child abuse, sexual and not, a lot because I find it very therapeutic, but someone might read my works and may draw other, completely erroneous conclusions about me and my motives.

I honestly think a huge chunk of the kuro fandom is nonbinary, but I don’t really know the demographics. I’m sure they’re slightly different depending on if you’re looking at the western or eastern fandoms…

But women can be toxic just like anyone else. Some of the absolute most vile antis I’ve seen identify as female.

Ultimately, I think that the best thing to do with the fandom (or any fandom, really) is to curate your experience. Block accounts that trigger you or don’t vibe with you. Find like-minded friends to chat with in private, so you don’t have to worry about strangers hopping on what you say. Filter tags and use apps if you need to.

I think it’s a shame that antis are so vocal in the fandom and have divided it so much. As a multishipper not much into sc, I have definitely felt that fracture more than some others, since sadly too many non-sc shippers think they need to scream about how icky that ship is and be jerks when we could just ignore sc entirely and enjoy the other ships we like instead together?

But the no matter what antis claim, sc shippers have always been and will always be the column that holds the fandom up, and you either need to make peace with it or learn to ignore it.

🫶

My ask box is open for anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable being open about their love for kuro but would like to squee over it/the new series with someone who doesn’t mind listening :)

[fuckmyskywalker]

Well, good morning.

To the anon who sent me three long and very passionate asks expressing how disgusting I am, how much of a freak I am, how little shame I have, that I don't have moral compass, a brain... too much insults to list.

Of course I deleted them, I don't have the time nor the energy to argue with people online. What I post on my blog is mine. Sorry if that upsets you but the best I can do for you is to tag the appropriate warnings because people don't like some stuff and sorry if you had to go through a traumatic experience but you should know that everyone reacts differently to trauma.

You said it yourself anon, you don't know the shit I've been through, you don't know what I experienced and what not, and you don't know even remotely close how much writing helps me cope with my personal issues. My obvious mental illness? That I should see a doctor? I have! And she is lovely! Honestly, people use traumatic and horrifying situations all the time not only for books, but movies, series... but when I do it in my blog it is wrong? Just because I chose to express it through words, I don't think that gives you the right to insult me. Many people write about so many things that are considered traumatic experiences such as SA, abusive relationships, even suicide, and you know why I don't go and tell them they are a fucking freak?

Because I don't care.

Because whatever they do with your life is their problem. The only thing I draw the line is when it is not 18+ stuff. In every fic I've had about the "incest writing", I explicitly mentioned it's not blood related. It is either an established relationship where it is merely a fantasy, or it is a «stepcest» situation. If I don't like something, I block it. I block the person and blog the tag. We are talking about a fictional character, someone who doesn't exist, someone who doesn't have a right in this. And that's the only thing I have to say to that matter.

You are choosing to wake up and send literal hate to someone who exists. Someone with feelings, with trauma, with personal issues, and without truly knowing how they can react to being criticized on their own personal space. To me a blog has to feel safe, and if you were trying to make me feel guilty or to feel ashamed... I'm sorry but it won't happen. Like I said before, I cannot take seriously anon hate. The whole concept is pretty obvious.

And I wasn't going to say anything, but I honestly won't let you talk bad about my friends. They don't deserve it. If you have a problem then let's keep it between you and me, alright? Cool. And I'm not going to insult you they way you did to me because despite the allegations I am genuinely a nice person 🩵.

— Asks.

[grandmother-goblin]

Okay, I’m gonna share some thoughts about Astarion in regards to sex and sexuality now that the full game is out and I’ve played through his romance twice at the time of posting this!

Now, I will say this as a preface: THIS IS MY OPINION ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER! My own experience colors my interpretation of the character, just like your experiences colors your interpretation. I’m not saying any interpretation is wrong or right, and if you happen to disagree with me, that’s fine! I’m not fighting you. I just wanted to share my thoughts because I enjoy this character and I enjoy writing him in fanfiction!

First, to me, Astarion is pansexual. The voice actor and game developers have confirmed this from what I know, and I’m not about to disagree with them. With all the attention to detail that the developers and writers put into the story, if Astarion was meant to be anything other than pansexual, he would be. I firmly believe that. He expresses interest in men and women both in game, so to me, he’s pansexual.

This is probably just a personal ick for me, but it feels pretty bad when someone says they are (or in this case, a character is) bisexual or pansexual and others respond with “We know what you really are 😏.” Yeah? People have literally been told and taken it upon themselves to draw another conclusion than the one given. I feel like it’s dismissive and it makes me sad that I see it all over the place.

On to his attitude towards sex in general, I’ve seen a popular post saying that he is “sex-adverse”. I don’t agree with that. At least, not with the definition I’m working with which puts “sex-adverse” on the same spectrum as asexuality such that it’s just a trait someone has rather than a state of being. Someone can not want to have sex, or not want to have sex for a long time, without being sex-adverse. (Now, my definition might be wrong, Google may have lied to me, and if that is the case I am very sorry. I’m not a smart woman but I try my best lol)

I think sex is something he used to enjoy, and it’s something that he wants to enjoy again, but it was tainted after everything he went through. I think he craves the emotional intimacy/closeness that can come with it rather than just the purely physical sensations. With what he had to do for Cazador, separating his feelings from what he physically did seems to have become second nature to him. I think this is apparent when the narrator or Tav noticed that he’s “not all there” when it comes to intimate scenes. It’s something he had to do, and the ramifications of being forced into something like that is not something that can be undone overnight.

He wants to take some time to figure out how to reconnect physical intimacy with his emotions. He needs time to build a relationship with a partner and know for certain that it’s not based on sex alone. Of course he’s gonna want to step on the breaks for a bit. It makes sense. If Tav really wants him, Tav won’t push it. This is confirmed when Tav pressures him into sex after he confesses his feelings towards it, Astarion decides immediately afterwards that Tav only wants him for “the one thing he’s good at” and breaks things off with them.

Astarion craves a romantic relationship built on something more than just the physical. But he just doesn’t know how to go about that anymore! Feeling close to someone, or showing genuine compassion or care for someone, is something that was turned against him in the past. The fact that he feels anything at all for Tav is probably terrifying to him!

Is Tav the first person to genuinely care for him since he became a vampire? I don’t think so. Not by a long shot. But I think Tav is the first person that he got to spend enough time with that he realized that they cared. I’m sure plenty of his victims actually cared for him, but he couldn’t open himself to care back. He needed to kill them anyway, so what was the point?

Tav is potentially the first friend he’s had in centuries. I am of the odd opinion that he actually kind of liked Tav by the time he first tried to seduce them, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t manipulating them. After the bite scene, especially if Tav lets him feed on them, it has to register to him that Tav can be more than just another one of his victims. He can use Tav, and ally himself to Tav for protection so they don’t turn on him, but he also has an opportunity that he hasn’t had in a long time: the chance to actually get to know someone.

And once he gets to know a Tav who actually has his best interests at heart, and he realizes this, Astarion doesn’t know how to act. He was used for his body for centuries, so surely that has to be all Tav is after as well, right? I think this ties in with his confession and what I said earlier really nicely. If Tav still wants him for him after he confesses that he was trying to manipulate them, if Tav forgives him and still wants a relationship regardless of whether or not they have sex, then he knows for certain, for the first time in centuries, that someone isn’t using him for his body.

That probably needs time to sink in. Not only that, but taking a break from sex altogether would help reaffirm to him that Tav likes him for him. Now, this is where the Halsin/polyamory thing kind of bugs me. If Tav hooks up with Halsin, and asks Astarion’s permission, he gives permission but also says something like “is this because we haven’t done it in a while?” IT IS STILL ON HIS MIND! That’s why the polyamory route with Astarion bugs me because Tav hooking up with someone else, especially when he’s in such a vulnerable state, probably just tells him “well, we stopped having sex and now I’m not enough for them.” Now, I think Astarion is perfectly capable of having a healthy polyamorous relationship, but I think he would have to be close with everyone involved in order not to feel like he did something wrong.

I can probably keep talking about this topic for a while, but I’m gonna leave it here. Again, these are just my opinions about a fictional character! Your opinions may differ and that’s totally fine! Don’t yell at me, I'm fragile.

[ruija]

A trip down memory lane - TMNT 2003

So. The 20th anniversary of 2003 Ninja turtles was a little while ago, but I didn’t have time to draw anything for it 👉👈💦 BUT, I wanted to do SOMETHING for it, even a bit late. 

For context, TMNT 2003 was my introducion to the franchise. Back when it started airing, I was 9yo and was immediately hooked. I think it’s the series/fandom that has stuck with me the strongest across the years. Even if I’d have long periods, even couple year brakes from it, I always dip back at some point. Usually it’d happen by me suddenly having a dream about the turtles, and then going like “Oh, is it that time again? Guess I’ll go check some fanworks, then.” ANYWAY, I thought it’d be fun to dig up some old art and do some redrawing hehheh. Hopefully yall find these somewhat entertaining, I’ve been equal parts cackling and cringing lmao!

Here we have THE FIRST EVER Leonardo I’ve ever drawn! (Made when I was 9) I’m honestly very charmed and kinda impressed by it. Like, he looks really funky and dynamic! That pose and the way the bandanna tails are flying adds really nice movement and energy to the drawing! It was really fun to use it as a base, because the elements of it were already working well!

Also there’s Splinter I drew around that same time. He also has a lot of funny personality haha! (Sorry Splints for being too lazy to redraw you)

(More art and reminiscing under read more!)

BY THE WAY. I’m FUCKING DEVASTATED that I was not able to find a third drawing I remember from this period. It featured Splinter being drunk while Leo looks on horrified. Why? I don’t know. Little Ruija thought it was really funny I guess. Anyway, here’s an imitation piece for demonstration:

Truly shocking. Bad Parent Splinter AU? (I have a suspicion the original is MIA, because I got too embarrassed by it at some point. But I will not lose hope, maybe it’ll turn up someday🙏)

I think the next time I drew fanart of ninja nurtles was when I was 11-12yo and joined Devianart. The account I used to have doesn’t exist anymore, so I wasn’t able to recover files from that time. My only hope is to come across some originals in my old art folders  💦 💦 I have really fond memories from that time. Was quite active in the Sonic and TMNT fandom.

This was drawn when I was 13, I think. I’m sensing... a bit of a fictional crush there. And- Wait a minute. Is that...? ENHANCE

DONNIE?!

Biblically accurate recreation.

Karai from same time period. It’s probably a lesser known fact, that in several iterations, she’s usually among my fave characters.

Grumpy Raph my beloved! This is from when I was 14. Those thighs are tragically skinny! This obviously had to be rectified.

Somewhere in the 14-15yo range. I think I had already picked up a special fondness for Leo+Mikey dynamic <3

And then... I got kind of a whiplash when this piece jumped out from my folders:

What a weird experience. I guess this particular visual spoke to me even 13 years ago.

Well, here’s another one to the pile.

Last piece has a bit of a timeskip! It’s from 2013 ( I was 18yo) and the original post is actually on this blog!

I’ve actually been wanting to redraw this piece anyway, but with my HC of Donnie being really tall, haha. (I keep squinting at Leo and how he turned out very femme in this... Oh well, he/she’s just rocking some transswag)

--

PHEW! This was fun! Made me feel extremely fond, thinking about how excited my younger selves would be to see these redrawings haha.

Earlier I said I didn’t have any works archived from my old DA account, but surprisingly I had a couple screenshots like this:

Back then (2005-2007 in this case) personal websites were common, including ones dedicated to fandom-content. A Japanese tmnt fan going by Sakan-san also had one called FREAKfreak. (She was also on DA) Her art was gorgeous and I thought she was like the best and coolest tmnt artist ever. 

Her webpage had this PAINTchat on it and both Japanese and Western fans would gather there to draw together. Sakan-san would often post the collabs in her gallery afterwards. There were a couple times I was able to join a session with them too, which I was over the moon about! (In the screenshot the bottom right segment was mine lol). It was really cool, that they included a novice artist with extremely broken english amongst them.

Seeing these screenshorts made me remember how much I admired Sakan-san and wanted to draw like her. And then realizing, that now I can✨

--

Another memorable interaction from that time is when I was chatting with some older fans. By the time I got on DA, my country had only dubbed and aired the first two seasons of the 2003 series. I kept seeing fanart of Leo with his shellscar and got curious. I asked the others where he gets it.

They told me he put dynamite on it.

And then said it’s better if I go watch the episodes myself. Fortunately I was able to find and watch rest of the series after that, haha.

--

Maybe that’s enough reminiscing for now! Thanks for the company and all the lovely memories TMNT 2003 <3

I hope you all can also keep creating and having fun within this fandom, for years to come!  💙❤️💜🧡💚

[shiraglassman]

Hey, I know this is kind of a dumb question, but I came across a TikTok about a month ago suggesting that dragons (the western, fire breathing, princess snatching, treasure hoarding ones) were rooted in antisemitic in the same way something like goblins are. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, and it kind of sent me into a tailspin, since I’ve always loved dragons (I read the WoF series ONCE and wouldn’t shut up about it for 3 years), and I was worried that I would have to drop them entirely for fear of offending someone. I can definitely see the similarities between common antisemitic tropes and dragon tropes, but I’ve always heard that the origins of the western dragon were that it was just a scalier of the devil and not meant to represent any marginalized community. However, I am not Jewish in any way, and I’m aware it’s not my place to dictate what is and isn’t harmful, so I was curious as to what you thought. (Sorry about how long this is TuT)

I held on to this ask for a few weeks to try to make sure my response made sense, so here goes. Disclaimer that I'm just one Jewish woman who loves dragons, and I claim no expertise or position of authority. I can't guarantee that someone won't look at your special interests and judge you unfairly. I also can't guarantee that you'll be hyperaware enough and careful enough to catch dogwhistles if they're subtle, compared with ordinary fictional dragons. What I can guarantee is that your average Jewish person is not going to assume you are more unsafe to be around than other unknown gentiles just because you like dragons, but fandom spaces and Tumblr spaces sometimes represent a skewed or specific cross-section of the population and may react differently. I can't make any of those calls. I don't want to tell you to start tuning out marginalized people when we speak about our issues including bad representation, but I also don't think "every Western dragon" is a problem the same way the entire perception of Halloween witches is, for example. For "some reason" (antisemitism) we've decided that big hooked noses are a thing you strap to your face to fake being a witch, or the way witches look in clip art. This is an issue because it takes a simple, neutral feature that some of us have and exaggerates it to the point of looking nonhuman. "Ha ha," says the trope. "Wouldn't it be funny if this trait that these Others have was so different and so jarring in appearance that they looked as different as they truly are, from us, the In Group?"

If the same group of folks who had anxiety about us coexisting alongside them created the witch aesthetic as created the Western dragon lore, and indeed much of old-fashioned European fantasy, it's easy to see how their feelings about us an other marginalized groups (disabled people etc.) creep into the stories. HOWEVER, it's also incredibly easy for dragons to not be us. Or have anything to do with us. If you're nervous when writing your own stories that someone is going to mistake your greedy characters for Jewish-coded, try to establish that real (human or otherwise) Jewish characters coexist with the greedy dragon or whatever to show that you're not using the dragon as a subconscious Jewish reference. But if you're talking about just "can I continue to buy dragon merch from creators who draw cute art", the only thing I can tell you is that there's an intense diversity of opinion among the Jewish people and even though I'm saying it's fine and probably most people at my temple would say it's fine, I can't account for strangers on apps I don't even have. Personally, I think you're safe as long as you avoid dragon things that evoke the trope directly. And many MANY dragons don't even evoke the trope these days, because so many millennials and younger grew up adoring dragons so we launched media where dragons are good. And don't even always hoard wealth. Much of modern dragon media seems to ignore the greedy and/or hoarding tropes entirely or have replaced greed as a motivator for the collections with "this dragon has a special interest", which is cute and doesn't evoke antisemitic tropes at all. You'll probably be able to make good judgments about what does the trope and what doesn't, but for some additional help here is a post Meir and I did on @writingwithcolor, which is where we'd prefer these questions be directed (yes, I know we're closed currently but we're reopening soon.) P.S. If this was sent to my personal specifically to avoid the WWC ask box being closed, please don't — that's an amount of volunteer work I simply can't take on. But I also know that it's possible and likely that you didn't know about WWC at all, so now you do — feel free to peruse our vast archives of past posts. @im-tired1124

[polish-child-of-hecate]

Hello, fellow human beings

The name I was born with is Maja and im a Hecate kid

Im 15 and I use all pronouns

Im panromantic, ace and genderluid

Im from Poland, so sorry for bad grammar

I have ADHD, anxiety and DID (Dissociative identity disorder)

My weapon is a key that transforms into this:

^The key ^The weapon

My powers are Necromancy, creating illusions, matter control and something like this:

My fav color is green and my hobbies are reading, drawing, annoying people by speaking Polish, anything that has something to do with music, stargazing and simping over fictional characters (Philip Carlyle and Anne Wheeler from The Greatest showman, Luke Skywalker from Star Wars, Newt from The Maze Runner, Ben Hargreeves/Number 6 from TUA)

Im taken by my lovely girlfriend Angie ( @poseidons-favourite-daughter)

My backstory: When I was nine I found out I was a demigod I was horrified to find that out. Because my father had always told me that Demigods and the gods were evil. So I was scared that my dad would hate me. I was forced to go to the camp for half bloods. I've been there ever since I found out that Demigods are not actually evil. Most of them are really good people. When I was growing up, I was really scared of my father. He would hit me all the time. It caught so bad that I had severe anxiety. I love going to the arts and crafts area. I like to draw there. Its fun. There is this part of the forrest that I discovered when I was 10 where no one goes to. Its quiet and beautiful. So I snuck out some blankets and pillows. After a while some nymphs helped me, and now I have a mini camp area there. When I was 13 I was claimed by Hecate and I reunited with my brother Simon (He has a blog too) , who ran away from home when I was 3. That was a fun day. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 14. That explained a lot of things. On my birthday every year I meet the nymphs in the forrest and we have a little party. I always enjoy the parties. Its much more fun than talking to people. The nymphs are some of my closest friends. Last year on my birthday, one of the nymphs called Salisa gave me a dark green hoodie. I love it. Its so comfortable, and the hood covers my face. Wich is a plus because i have a scar on my face. (Salisa is now my best friend and I just got them to make a Tumblr account.) A few months ago some other humans started to join the hangouts too. Their names are Anne, Zoë Nightshade and Lexi Mistrose. (They have blogs too.) I also like the goddess Ariadne (she has a blog too). About a moth ago I got stabbed my someone (my brother) from the Titan Army and I ended up in Elysium. I managed to escape and now I wander around the Earth as a ghost/spirit, but people can still see/talk to me.

Here's a picrew and a faceclaim:

(Ooc #1: 90% of the backstory is made by @thatonebitheaterkid)

(Ooc #2: I know her power are basically Wanda Maximoff + Dr. Strange, but twice as overpowered, and I do not care, Maja is my OC, so I get to choose how powerful she is)

(Ooc #3: my main blog is @just--a--random--human--being, the blogs i was talking about ic are @fvck-the-dam-gods, @ariadnes-only-child, @salisa-is-a-nymph @zoe-can-see-the-stars-again @my-aunt-and-my-dad-are-cool @one-and-only-ariadne, ill be using the tag #maja is talking and the face claim is Elle Fanning)

[whalyrae]

On the roof pt.1 | Niragi Suguru x gender neutral reader.

Word count : 2.4k

Trigger Warning : mention of school abuse, bullying, violence, death, maybe Niragi is ooc idk I did my best...

AO3 link

Author note : ok, I'm sooo nervous to post this...! this is the first time I post something on tumblr, it's no proofread at all and english isn't my first language so be kind please !

A second part will come, I don't know when, but there will be another part with... more action

Hope you'll like it...!

You were on the roof of the Beach. Thanks to Ann - you still don't know how she got there anyway - she managed to get a notebook, a pencil and an eraser, at your request.

Days at the Beach could be long and boring. Thankfully, you spent a lot of your free time in good company; Kuina was a lovely person, and even though Chishiya wasn't the most talkative, you managed to get along and have interesting conversations. Usagi and Tata were also very good companies. As for Arisu, you saw him as a big brother, you had the same centers of interest, the fictional universe as well as video games, you could talk about that for hours.

You were pretty well surrounded. But sometimes you felt the need to isolate yourself, to clear your mind. Living in this country was not easy, and every day was a tough and trying test for the physical, but also the mental.

The only thing that was able to relax you was drawing. Sometimes you isolated yourself on the roof of the beach, and you drew the landscape that offered itself to you, animals, you drew the portrait of your friends, or simply the first thing that crossed your mind. You were just alone with yourself, your thoughts, it wasn’t really healing, but for some hours, your only thoughts were turned to the strokes of pencils on this sheet of paper.

This time, you were drawing the pool beside you. There were a lot of people who were playing, dancing... having the time of their lives, like there's no tomorrow.

Your friends knew you had this habit of isolating yourself from time to time, and they respected that. However, today, someone you never expected came to disturb your moment of tranquility.

« Hey, what are you doing here? »

That male voice startled you, eliciting a laugh from the disruptor. 

You had turned around to find yourself facing the right arm of the leader of the activists. The one everyone feared, always accompanied by his sniper taped to his shoulder. 

Shoulder-length black hair, face and tongue piercings, a predator, ready to get rid of anyone who got in his way.

Suguru Niragi.

What was he doing here? What did he want from you?

« Saw you from the pool, so what are you doing here? He asked, approaching you, his free hand in his pocket. - I… hum, just drawing, you answered, showing him your notebook. »

He leaned slightly to take a look at what you were doing, then straightened up.

« Hm. It's not bad, he hummed, nodding his head. »

You looked up at him, surprised. Niragi giving you a compliment? It wasn’t something common. You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment, a big smile appearing on your face.

« Really? Thank you! It's just a simple sketch I did it in less than an hour, and then I'm not excellent at all with perspective ... It has always been my weak point. I rather prefer to draw characters or animals... Ah, sorry, I have a bad habit of talking too much when it comes to drawing.... I can come down if I disturb here... » 

He arched an eyebrow when he saw you get up, you didn't want to upset him or anything.

« You can stay. Just checked you weren't some weirdos who were up to something fishy. - Oh, thanks! »

You greeted him with a smile and saw him turn on his heels, already leaving. An idea crossed your mind. You knew it wasn’t good. Especially about him. You knew you were going straight into a wall, that he was going to snub you, probably insulting you. But your words went faster than your brain and your reason.

« Wait, Niragi! Can I … Can I draw you? » 

He stopped. And you regretted immediately your request. He wasn’t that kind of type to just sit down and pose while someone drew him. 

« I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… Forget what I s- - ‘kay. »

You looked at him, again. You couldn’t hide your surprise, which made him laugh. 

« I have nothing to do, my shift is over, and I’m kinda bored. Don’t fail me, though. - Don’t worry about that, you answered with a smile, showing him the last portrait you did, it was Mira taking her daily cup of tea, I don’t have many skills in life, I’m not beautiful, nor smart or even physically strong, but drawing isn’t a part of it! - What kind of bullshit are you saying. Seriously. He rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed, well. We’ll see. The result will decide whether you will live or not. »

Seeing your face decompose at his words, he bursts into a nasty laugh.

« Just kidding princess, relax. - Don’t call me like that. »

You frowned. You knew this request was useless, if he wanted to call you like that, he would, whether you wanted or not. 

Minutes passed where none of you spoke. You were too focused on your drawing, he was probably lost in thought, or something like that. Niragi was similar to Chishiya on certain points. It was impossible to know what he was thinking, what his next words or actions would be.  

« You were a drawer before landing here, right. - Hm? You looked up at him, nodding, I assisted a mangaka for the inking, yeah all that. My dream was to publish my own manga, one day, but… » 

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. 

« But what? Have you been refused? The world of drawing is as cruel as the world of video games, tho. - You were working for the video game's industry? - I was a game engineer. »

Wow. You were really impressed. You’d never thought that this man was doing something like that. Well, you never doubted that Niragi was more than that kind of person he was showing to everyone at the Beach.

Borderland was showing the worst side of every human. You weren’t an exception. You had to do things to survive. Things you shouldn’t regret, even if you did. 

« Are we amazed, princess? He asked with a grin. - To be honest, yeah, I didn’t expect that from you, you answered, ignoring his surname, but you were wrong for something, I… you paused for a few seconds, and sighed, I’ve never submitted my project to any magazine or something. I never had the chance. »

You felt a gaze land on you. You looked up to meet Niragi's, but directly broke eye contact, shaking your head.

« It’s nothing, I’ve always been unlucky. »

You sighed. 

« I agreed to hang around here with you while you draw me, you owe me few answers. » 

He was kinda right. Even if he saw that those answers hurt you. This man didn’t really have any empathy ? Or maybe his need to know was hiding something else ? 

Nice. Now you were curious. 

« Fine, I’ll tell you. »

You rolled your eyes. 

« I wasn’t that popular in High School, you started, focus on your drawing, sometimes, you gave him little glances, but only for your drawing, of course, my classmates loved to play with me. Hiding my class notes, my bag, my shoes, throwing food in my hair you know, like the teacher used to say… - Just children games, yeah, I know. » 

You looked at him. Surprised. Was he… no, it was impossible. Niragi was so confident, so scary, so cool ? Yeah, despite everything about him, you always found Niragi kinda cool. Just like Chishiya, you admired his intelligence and self-confidence. He didn't care how people looked at him, what they thought of him. 

So him ? Being bullied ? 

« Niragi, you… - Shut up. Keep talking. - Fine, fine… So… I had this notebook, a pretty black notebook, which I’d decorated myself, all my ideas for my manga were there. It was a story in a fantasy world, all the ideas, the drawings about the world building, the chara design, the story was there… I had it since I was twelve. » 

You took a small break. Those memories weren’t really that far. Maybe one year or two. 

You inhaled deeply, without stopping your drawing. You had to stay focused on something. You felt Niragi's gaze on you, but you couldn't face it.

« Don’t know how this happened, but they found my notebook. One thing led to another, they reduced this notebook to ashes, your voice was shaking, like your hands, the pages torn, burned in front of me. All my life, all my dreams, hopes, flown, ruined. » 

You made a pause, taking deep breath to not cry. You didn’t want to cry. Not in front of him. In front of anyone. You didn’t want to be that weak person you were in the past ever again. 

« It could’ve ended like this. But no. They didn't have enough. I don't even know why they were like that with me, why they hated me so much that they hit me with that belt and broke that glass bottle on my head. I never knew why. But they did. »

Your eyes were burning. You did your best to hold back your tears. 

« I spent weeks in the hospital, I had broken ribs and head trauma. After that, I finished my studies at home. - What did they have, those assholes who did this to you ? He finally asks, his voice seemed calm, but he was angry. - Nothing, just some few hours of detention, I think. Never saw them again. » 

You shrugged, and took a deep breath. 

« You wanted to know, happy ? »

Your voice was more aggressive than you thought. It wasn’t against him. You were just angry about those bullies, about your High School who did nothing, against the whole world for having made your life so complicated and shitty.

You didn’t know what he was thinking right now, maybe you suspected that talking about it had probably brought back painful memories for him, and you suddenly felt bad for not thinking about it sooner. But he’d insisted that you talk, and you hadn't connected the dots about his own experience as you told. He would have stopped you if it was too hard for him, right ?

« I’m sorry if I brought back so bad memories… you started, nibbling your lips, ah, there, I’m done, you added, giving him your notebook, sorry for the vent, I know you don’t care about my childish stories. - Shut up. I care. I’m angry, and I want to kill those bastards for what they did to you. » 

You stared at him, meeting his angry eyes. Again, like for you, it wasn’t against you. 

« Did you… take revenge on them ? You dared to ask, biting your lip nervously. - No, I didn’t. - I’m… sorry. You whispered, you didn’t deserve to endure all of that, Niragi. - You didn’t deserve it, you too. »

Your tears ran down your cheeks without you controlling it. It was the first time you heard these words. 

It wasn’t your fault. 

You put down the notebook, and turned your head slightly, lifting your hair and showing him a long scar on the back of your head, and you heard curses, maybe too many curses.

« I have more on my body, that’s why I’m always wearing a jacket, you gave him a sad smile, wiping your tears, ah, and I’m crying now, amazing. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna ask you a hug ! » 

You chuckled and got up, tearing off the page containing his portrait, which you signed on the back before handing it to him.

« Take it, it’s a gift for thanking you. For this moment. It’s been a while since I hadn't spoked to someone who understood me… no, in fact, it's the first time ! Thank you very much, Niragi. »

You gave him the paper, and a warm smile appeared on your face. 

You understood that he had gone through the same thing, too. The pieces of the puzzle had come together on their own. Why was he acting like this at the beach and with everyone.

He understood you. He was the only one who truly understood you. 

Because he's been through all this shit, too. 

That's why he made you talk, tell him what you had been through, why he didn't cut you off. 

Why he didn't blame you. 

Every person who heard this story did, the doctors, your parents, your therapist. In their eyes, it was your fault, you hadn't made enough efforts to socialize, drawing, videos games, dreaming about a fantasy world were weird hobbies. 

You've been criticized more than once for not being "normal".

Your eyes had filled with tears that you couldn’t longer contain, your body had begun to shake, and you hated it for abandoning you like this, for being so weak, so vulnerable. 

Why couldn't you be strong and brave like Niragi was? Why couldn't you fuck the world off, too?

You felt a hand land on your head. Your eyes looked up to meet his again, while he was patting your head. You knew Niragi wasn't the kind of guy to be good at reassuring, consoling or god knows what else showing affection, but he had done something. You felt your face heat up, but it didn't last long. Something else took place in your mind, a thought you had once had, but always suppressed it because you were ashamed of it. 

In this world ? In the Borderlands ? Being ashamed for those kinds of thoughts had no place, because there were very few consequences.

Revenge.

« I… you began, voice shaking, not very sure of what you were about to say, I want them to pay for what they did, they don’t deserve to be happy too… - Say it, it was an order, you could feel his hand running gently through your hair, which surprised you slightly, what do you want, y/n ? - I want them to die, Niragi. » 

You heard him chuckle before patting your head. As if he was satisfied with your words. As if he’d guessed that you had always wanted him deep inside.

Of course, he knew, he had been through the same thing as you after all.

Maybe this world poisoned you more than you thought.

[firecooking]

(bruhstation) hey neil! thank you very much for supporting fortezza bigg city so far :] I really appreciate the thought you've put into analyzing bits of my silly little AU, and I've also gained a huge appreciation for your own works as well. it's so clear you've put a lot of thought and research into your AU and it really blew my mind because everything is so meticulously thought out!!! and I'm looking forward to more!!! here's a quick sketch of your gal zaffre! once again thanks :3 (also you're inspiring me to make my own z-stacks oc! haha)

OHHH MY GOD LOOK AT HER MY BABY GIRL MY SWEET CHEESE SHE LOOKS AMAZING AHHH YOUR ART IS SO GOOD I LOVE YOUR FORM AND VOLUME AND HOW YOU DO YOUR LINE WEIGHT WITH THE OPACITY AND LINE DYNAMICS your handle on anatomy and rendering is really interesting to me, reading you work in Fire Alpaca with a mouse is mind boggling to me, i remember when I was doing the same years and years ago and the skill you show is really fascinating and i am jealous, the way your art is put together is scratching my brain. i have been doing art studies of it and trying to dissect it, it'd have such a interesting feel for animation, you have a wonderful style for breaking down into a limited animation style with a emphasis on dynamics with animation in a 8s, 6s, and 4s with 2s detailing and a hard tweening style [<- just professional animator things lol] The way you render shadow and lighting is also ough. This Zaffre is genuinely so wonderful, new desk top background moments. I love her gesture and expression here, it really captures her as a character! Also the way you draw hands, augh, just augh I wish.

You, my friend, are a fabulous illustrator!

And oh my god your AU is scratching my brain in ways I didn't think possible! I know so little yet there is so much there. When I genuinely say that it is affecting me as much as if not more that @askthefamous8 that is the highest compliment I can muster [that AU has been one of my special interests since 2015,]. I am legit making a post it note wall over FBC just like ATF8 had when I was in middle/high school

You have the most loyal human AU fan on your team now, I genuinely smile thinking about Fortezza Bigg City all day long, my friends and partner are getting annoyed to death from me ranting. sorry dear if you are reading this: I know you hate tugs

Also thank you! I really love doing in depth research, its the autism at work. I am a proud vehicle autistic. I've said it before but working on a ship for a summer just to know the mechanics of how actual sailing works is probably the most unhinged thing I can say I've done for accuracy sake. Loved my Captain and fellow crew, very sad I got sick and had to leave. Honestly would love to be a sailor if my heath wasn't bungled up and I wasn't like $200k of debt in animation college.

My humanoid vehicle AU's are partially based on my sadly never going to be picked up pitch bible for a science fiction based historical vehicle show [my fatal flaw is niche interests] And it literally makes my day to sit down and work on the most expansive and historically researched BS on earth, my AU is both a lovely love letter to TUGS as the show it is and a Love Letter to what TUGS wanted to be! At the end of the day TUGS wanted to be it's days Steven Universe or MASH [something I am gonna elaborate in another format later] but unfortunately it just didn't have the right ingredients. Its the Same as the TUGS musical I'm working on, it's a love letter to what TUGS both is and was supposed to be along with being a love letter to the characters themselves

Also:

Join the Z-Stacks OC League, we have cool hats and crime