#Sorry kids

[time-lady-the-sage]

24 hours later and I just remember Martha is a mother of two elementary kids

And they got blowed up

And we know hell takes children...

Did anyone else completely forget they existed?

[mimisainznorris]

I'm gonna tell my future kids that he was their father but he went to a war and never came back so i married their stupid dad

[mostlyinthemorning]

Schitt's Creek Photo of the Day 11 of ??

[detrimonious]

the ole switcheroo

[kimmiessimmies]

Reconnect (21/29)

“Oh!” James suddenly said, “Did you know there’s a new miniseries on Stream based on a Harvey Collins book? ‘Vanished!'”

“Really!?” Sadie exclaimed, “Have you watched it yet?”

“Of course not,” James responded, “I never watch HC-based series without you; that’s our thing.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Sadie asked, “Let’s do it!”

[ratanslily]

in ways more than one.

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

the stage of the relationship being ovulation? tbf i think they’ve been ovulating since last year 🤣

Listen you guys, this is obviously PG13 but when you’ve hit around the 8-12 months mark is when you get really comfortable with each other. Not comfortable as in.. letting your partner see you with greasy hair (that too) but also when it comes to bedroom activities. Because you know what the other likes, you know what turns them on, you have a routine down but still want to spice things up and most but not foremost: it’s that time in the relationship when you still do it …. A LOT 😂 probably more than before because it’s not awkward or nerve-wracking anymore. so yeah her outfit just made me laugh because it’s every footballer/hetero man’s DREAM (cunty shiny leather boots in red???? shorts and a corset?? lmaooo) and she clearly put that on with an intention. I won’t elaborate what that intention could be lol

[midnight-puppy]

[datasoong47]

What if, instead of adding the extra day in the leap year to February every time, we rotated through the months? So, you'd have a January 32, then the next leap year you'd have February 29, then the one after that you'd have March 32, etc.?

This would solve no problems and would probably create a whole lot of new problems. So we should definitely do it

[o-kye]

I'm making a oc based on your personality.

okay so

make sure to make them really hot and make them flirt with everyone

and uh

make them make boys kiss in their head when theyre bored

thats all

[wheels-of-despair]

Booked Pairing: Billy Knight x You Summary: Billy Knight didn't like to read... until he met you. Contains: Way-back flashback, fluff, nerves, nerds in love. Word Count: 1k

Billy Knight loved to read.

However, he did not discover this until he met you.

When he was a child, reading was something he had to do in school. He only read the books he was assigned, and they did not excite him. He went through the motions to get a passing grade - or else - and thought no more of it. The only books left in the Knights' cottage, after his father burned everything that reminded him of his wife, were either instructional or political, and those did not interest young Billy.

The first time he visited your home, he couldn't take his eyes away from your bookshelf. You'd noticed it and tried not to say anything, but eventually, you just couldn't help yourself.

"See something you like?" you asked with a smile, tilting your head into his eyeline from your place beside him on the couch.

"No… sorry." He glanced into your eyes and then down at his hands.

"It's alright. I know they're a mess, but organizing tends to be an all-day project, and I just haven't had the time," you explained, suddenly very self-conscious. Why hadn't you cleaned up more?

"S'not that. It's just… you read all those?"

You laughed softly. "That's the dream. I'd like to read everything, but somehow, I just keep reading the same ones over and over again. Y'know?"

He didn't. He looked up nervously. He did everything nervously in those days.

"Do you have a favorite book?" you asked, hoping to find some common ground. He shook his head, a blush spreading across his face and down his neck.

"That's alright. I had to read so many awful books in school, sometimes I thought I'd never voluntarily pick one up again."

"M'not very good at it," he said quickly.

"Good at what?"

"Reading."

You paused, not entirely sure what to say to that. His fingers picked at a loose thread on the sleeve of his sweater.

"You don't have to be good at it to enjoy it," you said gently. "I suppose that's true for just about everything."

He looked thoughtful, like he was considering it.

"Have you ever read a book you liked?"

He chewed his bottom lip as his eyes drifted around the room. After a moment, he spoke slowly, not meeting your eye. "My mum used to read me stories about animals."

Your face lit up. "I love stories about animals."

"These were for kids." He shifted nervously. "It was a long time ago."

"There's no age limit on a good book. I still have most of my childhood favorites. Just finished re-reading one last night."

"You still read kid books?" He stared at you with a mildly surprised look. If it had been anyone else, your face would have been burning at this point. But you could sense that Billy wasn't judging you for reading children's books. He was genuinely curious. You nodded.

"Sometimes when things aren't going great, diving back into one of those helps. Suddenly, I'm not a grown-up struggling to exist. I'm a kid who's learning how to use magic, or sailing the high seas, or sneaking into a secret garden. I've lived on the prairie, in castles, on a deserted island, in…" Suddenly aware that you were very close to getting carried away, you decided to cut your rambling short, before he invented an appointment he simply couldn't be late for. "Sometimes I just need to be anywhere but here."

He stared, and after a moment, asked, "You get all that from books?"

"Yeah," you admitted with your eyes on the rug, fearing you'd scared him off with your nerdy little tangent. Well done, loser, hope your books are a great source of comfort for you as you die alone.

"I think I've been reading the wrong books." Your head snapped up. You thought he'd be running for the door by now, but he's still there, giving you a shy smile. Your heart felt like it was about to burst.

"Shall we fix that?" Please say yes, you thought, trying to keep your face from showing just how happy you were to share this with him. He gave you a nod, barely containing his own excitement. "Come on," you said, beaming as you got off the couch.

He followed you over to the section where most of your childhood favorites lived. You never let anyone borrow your books - a water-damaged copy of Eragon returned without so much as a "sorry" had been the last straw - but you trusted him. You didn't know why, but you trusted Billy Knight immediately, more than all the lifelong friends and family who were now on the Banned from Borrowing list.

He wasn't a strong reader, at first. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd opened a book. But he started small and worked his way up, and found that he genuinely enjoyed losing himself between the pages of a good book. You welcomed him into fantastic worlds he never would have discovered on his own. And when you talked about them afterwards, it was almost like you were living in those wonderful worlds together. That was his favorite part.

He didn't know it at the time, but when you realized he'd be making his way through all your old favorites, you read them again. You wanted to be able to answer questions and discuss the details with him. Billy was a very observant person, and you didn't want to let him down. He'd been so impressed at how much you'd remembered about those books from your childhood, not knowing that after he left each night, you had stayed up 'til the early hours of the morning to re-read your next recommendation. Years later, when you finally admitted this, he laughed and felt himself falling a little more in love with the person he wanted by his side in his favorite world of all.

[hislittleraincloud]

God damn this site, I have a post I was working on and it was SUPPOSED to save it as its draft but now it's out but I've privated it until I can finish it later. Even though it was a damn draft when I brought it up, dunno why it went straight to publish.

Things aren't great here. Just saying. I have to take a walk.

Stop being insane fuckers about your ship. Be reasonable. Think about the entertainment you watch from a mind that isn't soaked in fandom, maybe y'all can understand what I've been fucking saying.

[shrrpteeth]

me writing bits and pieces of my projection fic while at work

[bibliophilicwitch]

I've been a fan of the Heralds of Valdemar series for decades, right? Comfy, heavily-tropey fantasy for a palette cleanser when needed. I picked up Green RIder - couldn't tell you how this got onto my radar, but here we are. And BOI HOWDY why do the Green Riders feel like a flavor of Heralds?? 😅

[praesciusozzx]

Oneshot 0.001

I waited for your held breath to release. I waited for minutes then hours then weeks then months for you to look me in the eyes, to finally decide what you wanted from me. Am I a plaything? Easily receptive to your quaint touches when no one was looking our way. Let me put it simply, you carefully spun your web just big enough for me to get stuck on you. I'm terrified of the fallout, my own husk falling to the ground below like it never was anything more than leaf litter on the forest floor. I know how this ends. I know how this all ends and yet I choose to accept your pretty little things regardless of the deal struck because I did. You devil. You horrible devil. How could an angel like me resist? Like a moth to flame and you are playing me for a fool. I know I will beg for mercy at your feet yet I am still begging for another path as I flutter directly into your silvery web.

[chaosintheavenue]

Tried to kill the rat for the kids in Freeside.

Casually forgot that I was using a plasma rifle.

Whoops?