#St Martha's Church | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gucciwins · 2 months

Text

harry brings his girlfriend home to meet his family but it does not go as planned

word count: 5896

a/n: enjoy this story inspired by a lovely anon. happy reading, my sweet friends 💜

Y/N was nervous.

She squeezed Harry’s hand, trying to ground herself, but it seemed to transport her to the first time they met at the diner down the street from her apartment.

Going to university in Los Angeles wasn’t glamorous, not when she had endless bills to pay to keep a roof over her head. She had gone to Martha’s Cakes, a small diner ten minutes from her apartment that served the best hot chocolate. The food was good too but the hot chocolate is what she ordered each visit without fail. It’s a place she’d eat when Y/N had a bit of extra to spend on herself. Instead of buying herself new shoes, or another jelly cat bag charm (Otto, the sausage dog, went everywhere with her) she decided on eating a good meal that didn’t consist of ramen or buttered noodles. She came here when she needed a pick me up or simply wanted to have a nice conversation. It was a late Tuesday in the Spring. Where the sun took longer to come down, allowing her extra time at the bar to do assignments and chat with Antonio about the best produce sales. Y/N had her head down working on an essay due two weeks from now. It was based on one of Los Angeles buildings; it could be based on the oldest church to the Dodger Stadium. Y/N decided on the Avila Adobe residence. Known as the oldest standing residence in the City of Los Angeles. Olvera St. was a famous street and was filled with history. It was one of her favorite places to walk through.

As she was looking through photos, taking notes of significant dates, a patron sat next to her. Y/N didn’t bother seeing who it was, simply scooting her scattered papers closer to her, tucking a few under her laptop.

“It’s not bothering me.” A man spoke.

It startled Y/N only because he had a deep British voice. It felt odd to be hearing in such an unknown area.

“Darla would throw coffee on it if she saw I was bothering a customer.”

“I said it’s okay.”

Y/N laughs. “She would say it wasn’t.”

It seems the man lets it drop as he has nothing to reply. Y/N keeps up with updating her notes as she hears the man order a stack of the lemon poppy pancakes. Those were her favorite, Y/N would get them when she was having a bad day because it would without a fail make her smile. Y/N worked in silence over the next half hour when she felt the need to step to the restroom. Y/N did not want to pack up. Usually she asks a staff member to watch her items, but the diner seemed to be a bit busier. She looked around and her eyes landed on the pancake guy who had his headphones on. She hated bothering people, but he looked kind enough.

Y/N tapped next to his plate to get his attention. It worked because in seconds he slipped off his headphones and had turned his whole body to look at her. It gave her the chance to look at him fully for the first time. He had a buzz cut, and it looked really good. He had slight stubble, but what captured her attention were his bright jade eyes. It felt like he was staring deep into her soul.

“Do–uh–Would you please watch my stuff? I have to use the ladies’ room.”

“Course. Guard it with my life.”

Y/N thanked him and hurried away. When she came back, the man had slightly shifted over, his eyes staring intently at the dark screen of her laptop.

“Thank you,” she shot him a smile. Waking up her screen and getting back to her assignment, except she couldn’t get the man out of her head.

The dimples were something she focused on when he smiled, telling her it was no problem. Then his green eyes were so beautiful she felt she had seen them before. Though she could swear she had never met him before. She did have a weird feeling she had seen him before. Once it hit eight o’clock, Y/N knew it was time to call it. Y/N had her rough draft ready and could continue tomorrow. For now, she’d walk home and take a bath to wash away today’s day.

Y/N was packing up and could see the green-eyed gentleman was too. She would hate herself if she didn’t ask him where she knew him from, if she knew him. Y/N had her bag strapped on her shoulder and turned to him for the last time.

“Excuse me, sir?”

He turned, as if he was waiting to hear from her. “Yes?”

“How do I know you?”

The man’s smile dropped. He looked confused, so she didn’t know him.

“Don’t think we’ve met, until today, Y/N.”

Y/N’s frown deepens. “I didn’t tell you my name.”

He pointed to her bag. She looks down at the red stitching displaying her name. Well, now she looked dumb. Of course, he could read. “You look familiar to me. Sorry if that’s weird.”

The guy clears his throat, shaking his head. “I get that a lot.”

That’s odd, Y/N thought.

“I feel like I know you,” she tried one last time.

“Promise we don’t know each other. I would remember someone as beautiful as you.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped (not literally), but her face felt warm. Fuck, she was not expecting this turn of event. “Ha, uh. I want to say me too, but uh, there’s something familiar about you.”

Harry chuckles as if he knows something she doesn’t.

“Can I walk you out?” He asks.

She nods. He leaves a large tip and follows her to the exit. Y/N ways to Sonia, who shoots her thumbs up, but Y/N has no idea why. Y/N and the man linger outside the door, waiting to see who makes the first move.

“Well, uh, can I have your Instagram?” Y/N asks, not knowing if asking for his number was too forward. At least this way she could stalk him for a bit.

“Oh, I don’t use that. I can give you my number,” he counters.

Y/N perks up. “That works.” She hands him her phone where she watches his hands type in his phone number into her contacts. He hands her back her phone, and she looks at the newly added contact.

Harry S.

It seemed that’s all she needed for her to connect the dots. She lifts her head up and Harry has a flushed face. He didn’t look away from her, almost waiting to see what she’d say.

Y/N not sure how to break the silence. “Harry Sanchez?”

Harry laughs, and it’s all the confirmation Y/N needs. “More like Styles.”

“Oh.”

Did she fuck up her chances? She feels like she didn’t. She got his number.

“What can I use your number for?” She asks, wanting to double check. He still wants her to have it.

“Hopefully for us to plan a date.”

“Even after this,” she points between them as if to explain what they know just happened.

“I’d like to see where it could go.”

“Shit, uh. Well–I’m free Thursday.” Harry smirks, making her want to crawl in a hole because now she feels desperate. “I’m going to leave.”

Harry stops her by grabbing her hand. “I think Thursday is perfect. Are you up for a sunset dinner by the beach?”

“Sounds perfect,” she promised him.

“Good. Thursday it is.”

Now she is standing in front of his childhood home, about to meet his mother and older sister. Y/N had spoken to his mother, Anne, on the phone a few times, but his sister was always busy when Harry tried to pass her the phone. Harry promised her it would go well, but she feared the worst. Their story was genuine but to others could sound fabricated but come on, no one knows Martha’s cakes, it’s not even on Yelp. It’s a place once stumbled upon and then shares the magic with people in their life.

Harry said he felt like coffee and walked for a while until he saw people walk out. The smell of coffee is what drew him in, but the pretty girl he sat next to had him stay for hours. It’s something he shared months down the line. Y/N and Harry had now been together for nine months. Because of her Master’s Y/N had no time to travel. Harry visited home often, but Y/N couldn’t drop everything she was doing to go with him. He understood, but she felt his family wouldn’t. Harry met her dad and twin brothers six months into dating because they lived down in San Diego, only a two-hour drive from them. While Harry’s family lived an ocean away and she refused for him to pay for her flight to London. On top of that, she had classes and exams to worry about that did not allow her to hop on a flight for a week. Thankfully, she made it through the winter semester and had a few weeks off from her internship before going back for her last semester. Y/N knew graduation was just around the corner, and thankfully, had little debt to pay off.

Harry held her tight as he led her up the steps. Y/N was walking slower, trying to prolong the introduction. In her mind, she hoped she was simply psyching herself out and that things actually went well with Harry’s family. That they accepted her because they could see how much she loved him.

“You ready, Lovie?” Harry flashed her a dimpled grin.

Truthfully, she wanted to say no, but Y/N couldn’t do that to him. Not when he was bouncing with excitement. “Ready.” She confirmed.

Harry gave two loud knocks and then opened the front door. Y/N stood behind him as he rushed to embrace his mother. Anne was a sweet woman, much shorter than Harry, but by the tight embrace she held Harry, Y/N could tell she was strong.

Anne gave Harry two big kisses, one on each cheek, before turning her attention to Y/N.

“Y/N!” Anne cheered. She said it with so much delight, it surprised Y/N.

In a matter of seconds, someone tightly wrapped Y/N in a hug, which she quickly reciprocated. “It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs. Twist.”

Anne waved her off. “Call me Anne, my dear.”

“Anne,” Y/N repeated.

“Now come in and tell me all about the trip. Did he trick you into going to that fancy lounge where you get free food?” Y/N giggled because Harry indeed took her to a fancy lounge when he said he was taking her to get a smoothie.

Y/N spared a smile at Harry, but it was quick to fall when Y/N met another pair of eyes in the kitchen, looking at her with an intense stare. It dropped quickly because her attention shifted to Harry. Y/N focused back on Anne, trying to brush off the moment as something she imagined.

Y/N tried her best to ignore the pit forming in her stomach. There was no need to worry. Harry talked about wonderful things about his family. She was in safe hands. At least that’s what she kept reminding herself.

Y/N didn’t feel welcome. Anne was a gem, but Gemma was cold and looked bored whenever Y/N said a word. Y/N wondered if Harry picked up on it. He hadn’t said a word. Harry was home and had no time to deal with Y/N’s insecurities. She had to be reading into Gemma, not liking her. Harry spoke the world of his older sister. He said she was his best friend, someone whose opinion he valued. Fear struck her. If Gemma didn’t like her after this visit, she knew that as soon as she got on that plane to go home, Harry would be breaking up with her. At least she’d had several hours to cry about on the plane pathetically.

“There’s no way she didn’t know who you were,” Gemma scoffed, unbelieving of their story.

Harry brushed off her comment as if she said nothing. “Gem, I was bald.”

“Your face didn’t change.”

Harry sighs, “no, but you did a double take when I showed up to your doorstep to show you.”

Gemma frowns, knowing he was right. “Whatever, you were all over twitter.”

Harry is beginning to pick up on his sister’s defense and knows to drop it but will be picking it up with her later. “Anyway. Sitting next to each other, she asked me to watch her stuff when she had to use the restroom.”

“To look you up,” Gemma coughs.

Y/N fidgets in her chair, wanting to be anywhere but here. Harry continues with his story. “She thanked me and went back to her work. Before she left, Y/N asked if we knew each other, but I told her we didn’t. I wouldn’t forget someone as beautiful as her.”

“Charming,” Anne gloats. “My charming boy.”

Harry finished the story, stating it was meant to be. He had loved spending the time in Los Angeles getting to see the city through Y/N’s eyes. It’s a city she’s been living in for a couple of years. There was a lot for her to share with him. Harry had taken a liking to her favorite coffee shop. It had a design resembling a greenhouse and filled with plants, mainly featuring dried lavender. Truthfully, he spent a lot of time there because it was Y/N’s preferred place to study because it never got busy. Y/N called it her hidden gem.

“I’ve never been happier,” Harry shares. Y/N beams at his words but can’t help glancing at Gemma, who can’t help but look sick to her stomach at hearing this news.

Dinner passed dreadfully slowly. Y/N comments when she needs to but honestly hopes to disappear for the night soon, no longer wanting to burden Gemma with her presence. While Anne showed Y/N where she could freshen up, Harry stayed downstairs to share a nightcap with his sister.

Anne comes back to join them, but Gemma bites her tongue until their mother bids them goodnight. Harry gives his mother a tight embrace, commenting on how much he missed her. Gemma was happy her younger brother was home.

“Are you happy, Harry?” Gemma breaks the silence that had fallen between them.

Harry sighs, “never been happier.”

Gemma frowns, because she believes him. “I-I-nevermind.”

Harry frowns because Gemma is never someone to stop herself from saying what’s on her mind. “Hey,” he places his hand on top of hers. “It’s me. Your annoying younger brother, you can tell me anything.”

She removes her hand from under his and places them on her lap. “I don’t think she’s right for you.”

Harry sits back, surprised. “Sorry?”

“It’s clear she’s after something.”

He’s having a hard time believing his sister. “Like what?”

“Your money.”

“Is that all I’m good for?” He asks, baffled.

“No. That’s why I’m telling you. She’s after one thing.”

“How would you know?”

“Come on,” Gemma scoffs. “She goes to a prestigious school with a cost that no one could afford. It’s clear she wants you to pay for it.”

“Gemma, I met her during her last year.”

“Debt doesn’t go away overnight,” she fights back. “She’ll get you to pay off her loans and leave you.”

Harry’s anger is overwhelming him.

“You don’t even know her. Yet you say bad things about her.” It shuts Gemma up, and he uses that to his advantage and walks away.

“We saw the donation you made,” Gemma comments before he can make it up the stairs.

He turns back, trying his best to swallow down his anger. “If you would have asked me, you would know it’s for the music program. I did that for several universities if you would have taken the time to do a bit more research. It grants them a scholarship, plus pays for room and board.”

Gemma has no response. Harry is now standing in front of her and Gemma is nervous. She had never seen her brother this upset.

“What I do with my money is my problem. If she wanted me to send her money for a new car, I would. If she wanted me to buy her a piece of land, I would do it in a blink of an eye. If Y/N asked me to give her every last dime in my account, I would do it without a second thought because I love her. I love her and she loves me. You know, five minutes is not enough to judge her. I do not have to tell you of her financial issues, but I will so you can go home tonight and sleep knowing how upset I am with you. Y/N received the presidential scholarship covering her tuition for the three years she was there. Y/N has applied to hundreds of scholarships to cover her book fees, and has to take on an unpaid internship while working 40 hours a week to cover her rent. Y/N has not accepted a single dime from me for her school because she has gotten this far without me. Y/N only lets me pay for her seven dollar coffee every other day. Y/N would rather give every last dollar to me if I needed it instead of keeping it for herself. Y/N still sends money to her twin brothers for new shoes, or new backpacks, because she loves her family.”

Harry is near tears but keeps going. “I love Y/N. You might not, maybe you never will, but that girl has been the best thing to happen to me. I’ve never been more cared for and loved since she entered my life. So please, don’t bother coming back tomorrow or the rest of the week unless you have an apology for her.”

Y/N is grateful Harry’s room connects to the bathroom because, while she finished getting ready, she thought she would ask Harry for a cup of water and instead stumbled upon a conversation she shouldn’t have. Y/N tries her best to swallow her tears, but it’s no use. They’re more powerful than her. They stream down and Y/N decides to lie in bed, hoping by the time Harry comes in, she’s fast asleep. Y/N isn’t sure how much time has passed, but her tears have dried up and she’s as still as a rock when she hears Harry come in. She wants to tell him that she’s not worth defending if it means he’s messing up his relationship with his sister.

She hears him get ready for bed. Y/N knows he’s folding his clothes and placing them on the chair. He’s meticulous about his night-time routine. He crawls into bed next to her. Y/N tries her best to steal her breathing to make it seem like she’s sleeping, but Harry knows her too well. He scoots right behind her, his hand sliding over her hips and settling on her stomach, right by the scar she got on her eight birthday when she fell off her bike. Harry rubs the lifted skin, where she got four stitches.

Y/N lets out a deep breath, working up the courage to say something, but her throat is closed. She relaxes against him. All her tears dried up. She is beginning to feel better now that she’s with him. A kiss to her temple has her heart slowing down. This is what it is to be protected.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N croaks out when she feels like enough time has passed.

Harry pulls her tight against him. It fills her with ease. “How much did you hear?”

Y/N shakes her head. “I don’t want you to argue with your family.”

“It’s only my sister,” he defends.

“She’s an important person in your life. You’ve always specified that.”

Harry sighs. He leaves a kiss behind Y/N’s ear. “You are important to me, too.”

“You don’t need to be fighting. It’s not necessary.”

“It is when she needs a wack to her head.”

“Harry,” Y/N drags out. “I don’t want you burning bridges.”

Harry understood where she was coming from, but Y/N was not seeing how it affected him as well. “We’ll be fine. She’s my sister. We’ll talk in a few days. All this will be in the past.”

Y/N freezes, feeling as if someone dropped a cold bucket of water on her. If Harry believes everything will be alright with his sister, that means he sees himself forgiving her for what she said but also means he would be getting rid of the problem. Her.

Harry was going to be breaking up with her. This started her tears to fall again, only this time she couldn’t keep quiet. They were pouring out of her at a quick rate. He was quick to sit up bringing Y/N with him.

“Hey, hey,” Harry cooed. “What happened? What did I do?”

“Y-y-you,” she stuttered. Nothing was coming out.

He would not rush her. Instead, he shifted her to straddle his lap. Y/N tucked her head into his neck. Hary felt his neck dampen with tears. He pressed soft kisses to her hair, whispering “I love you,” hoping it would be enough to calm her. He snaked a hand under her night shirt softly running his nails up and down her back. Y/N curled in closer at the action. His sweet girl was feeling overwhelmed, and he felt awful because he wasn’t being helpful.

Y/N pulled away. Her eyes were puffy and tears streaming down her cheeks. Harry still thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her hands moved from her side up to his neck, she settled them on his cheek. She caressed his face, calming him down. He hadn’t realized how overwhelmed he was, but it’s clear Y/N could see what he needed even in her moments of sadness.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Y/N voiced. “I love you. I love you so much.”

Harry frowned. No one had said anything about him leaving. He would never dream of walking away from her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But Gemma–”

He cuts her off. “Gemma doesn’t know you like I do. She is looking out for me and I know she meant no harm, but she went about all this wrong. She decided to judge us, judge you before getting to know you.”

Y/N did no wrong. She was nothing Gemma accused her of. Y/N knew that, of course she did, but Y/N hoped to impress his family, not make them upset.

“I know you, Lovie. My mum knows you. Mostly, you know yourself. Your character speaks for you and it has never been anything but kind and loving.”

Harry’s words slowly begin to mend her heart.

“I love you, Harry.”

He connects his lips with hers in a loving kiss. “I love you so much.”

Y/N falls asleep to Harry’s voice as he sings her to sleep. It’s a lullaby he says his mum would sing when he had a nightmare. While Y/N didn’t know how tomorrow would go, she was happy to have Harry at her side.

The morning passed slowly between the three of them. They shared stories with Anne, Harry, catching her up on his upcoming plans. Y/N talked about her looming graduation and told Anne about her thesis project. Anne promised to make the trip for her graduation, something Harry couldn’t stop gloating about how she was top of her class on her way to graduate summa cum laude. Y/N had stepped outside wanting to enjoy all the open land Anne had. The cats happily roamed around Y/N as she settled in the grass. Y/N thought of her dad at home and what he’d have to say about the situation. He’d probably tell her to run while she could, but Y/N knew Harry was her person. Y/N laid down, closed her eyes and took in all the surrounding noise. She heard birds chirping, a purring in the distance and the rush of the wind hitting the wind chimes. It was perfect.

There was a loud band that had Y/N sitting up in a hurry. She looked back and realized it was the back door. Anne had stepped out, Y/N could see Harry in the kitchen, hands moving rapidly, and she knew he wasn’t alone. Anne sat not to Y/N, neither of them saying a word.

“My daughter owes you an apology.”

“Anne–”

She stops Y/N. “No, I raised her better than that. I’m not sure when she got so protective, but it’s clearly not for the best. Harry is nearing 30 he doesn’t need his sister looking out for him. While I’m glad they have each other, this was unnecessary. It caused a lot of hurt that should have never existed.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to talk to her if you’re not comfortable.”

Y/N didn’t know how to feel. She dreaded talking to Gemma, but Y/N knew she’d feel worse if she went home and never talked this out with her. “I’m willing. I-I might need time to forgive her.”

Anne squeezed Y/N’s hand. “That’s perfectly alright. Now tell me about these brothers of yours.”

Y/N spent the rest of the evening with Anne, forgetting about her problems. It isn’t until Harry called them both in for dinner that they realized they spent hours outside.

Harry greeted her with a kiss.

Dinner went off without a hitch, the three of them sharing all kinds of stories. Mostly Harry interrupting Anne to tell her a new story about Y/N he remembered. Harry that night promised he was alright with Gemma. He was feeling hurt. Assured her he loved her, but needed time to move past it.

Y/N woke up early the next morning and decided to go on a walk along the river. Harry told her it felt never ending. They had walked it once every day, but today she went alone, letting Harry sleep in but also have that extra time with Anne. As Y/N walked, she thought of her brothers and how they would love to be throwing rocks in the river. Y/N was sure one of them would even fall in on accident. The weather would pique her dad’s interest. He was a sunshine man. She was sure the gloomy weather would be too much for him to handle.

Two hours later, Y/N came back and was taken aback by Gemma’s presence on the front steps of the house, holding a thermal mug.

“Hi,” Y/N greeted.

“Morning, nice walk?” Gemma asked.

Small talk. It was safe. “Mhm, Harry showed me the trail he liked to walk on.”

“Mmm…coffee?” Gemma offered.

“Uh, I’m okay,” Y/N rejected.

Gemma looked dejected, but continued on. “Do-Is it okay if we talk?”

Y/N nodded. “Sure.”

Y/N approached Gemma sitting on the opposite end of the same step. She wouldn’t be the first to talk, but it looked like Gemma was figuring out her words.

“I’m sorry” are Gemma’s first words. “I’m sorry talking about you behind your back, even more sorry that you overheard.” Gemma looks sincere, and Y/N nods for her to continue. “I love Harry. He’s the best brother, and a person in general. He cares so much that I fear he’s gotten screwed over so much in life because he trusts with his heart and not his head.”

Y/N frowns, because that’s one of the things she loves most about Harry. How welcoming he is with his kind nature and how much love he spreads every day whether it’s through his music or holding the door open for a stranger. It all adds up to show that he’s a person full of love.

“Those are his mistakes to make. His own hurt to go through. Life isn’t all sunshine.” Y/N tells her.

Gemma sighs heavily. “I know. Sometimes I feel like he’s still the same kid who cried when I would go out without him.”

“That hasn’t been him for a long time.”

“I know.”

It’s clear Gemma has something deeper than she has to figure out and talk with Harry about, but it seems that’s a bridge she’ll cross when she is ready.

“I love Harry. I think we have a wonderful relationship.” Y/N knows Gemma might not want to hear this, but it is important he does. “Harry loves communication. I swear we’ve never had an argument that didn’t end in us making up. He gives me my space but makes sure to be near. I’m reminded of his love every second of every day, whether he’s with me or not. I’m not sure if I make him feel loved every minute, but I do my best to remind him in my actions and words. I’m big on writing notes. He’s received a few love letters. I’m sure he’d show you if you asked.” Gemma tries her best to hide her surprise, but it’s written all over her face. “I’ve only heard wonderful stories about you, Gemma. I’m sure they’re all true, but I know Harry thought we might become friends.” Y/N pauses. “Even if that doesn’t happen, I do want you to know I respect you. For however long I’m around, I know that I respect you, even if it might take some time for me to trust you.”

Gemma has tears running down her face. “I’m sorry. I never provided you with an opportunity. I’m not sure why I didn’t. I am really sorry. Meeting the family is always hard, and I fucking ruined it.”

“It’s not okay, but we’ll give it time. Time heals.”

“Thank you for hearing me out.” Gemma tells her gratefully.

Y/N smiles. “Are you joining us for breakfast? Harry promised to make lemon ricotta pancakes.”

“I’d like that. I’ll head in soon. I want to finish my coffee.”

Y/N heads inside, where she finds Harry at the stove wearing an apron. She wraps her arms around his waist, resting her head between his shoulder blades.

“Morning, pretty girl.”

Gemma looked dejected, but continued on. “Do-Is it okay if we talk?”

Y/N nodded. “Sure.”

Y/N approached Gemma sitting on the opposite end of the same step. She wouldn’t be the first to talk, but it looked like Gemma was figuring out her words.

“Those are his mistakes to make. His own hurt to go through. Life isn’t all sunshine.” Y/N tells her.

Gemma sighs heavily. “I know. Sometimes I feel like he’s still the same kid who cried when I would go out without him.”

“That hasn’t been him for a long time.”

“I know.”

It’s clear Gemma has something deeper than she has to figure out and talk with Harry about, but it seems that’s a bridge she’ll cross when she is ready.

“It’s not okay, but we’ll give it time. Time heals.”

“Thank you for hearing me out.” Gemma tells her gratefully.

Y/N smiles. “Are you joining us for breakfast? Harry promised to make lemon ricotta pancakes.”

“I’d like that. I’ll head in soon. I want to finish my coffee.”

Y/N heads inside, where she finds Harry at the stove wearing an apron. She wraps her arms around his waist, resting her head between his shoulder blades.

“Morning, pretty girl.”

“Hi, Harry. I love you.”

Y/N knows he’s grinning. “I love you too. Even if you left me alone this morning.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she defends. “You always told me a morning walk here cleared your head.”

“And did it?”

“Mmm…like magic.”

“Are you okay, Lovie?” Harry turns off the stove. He turns around, setting his hands on Y/N’s waist. His hair makes her laugh as she sees it sticking in different directions.

“We talked. She apologized. Promise I’m okay. It still hurts, but I’ll try my best to forgive her for you.”

Harry tuts his tongue. “No, honey.” Y/N tilts her head, confused. “You don’t have to do this for me.”

“But she’s your–”

“She’s my sister, but that doesn’t mean you have to change how you feel about me. I promise I am with you. She made a mistake, and I’ll forgive her but at my own time. You take your time as well.”

Y/N feels overwhelmed all over again because she really did get lucky with Harry. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more, my love. So much more.”

Harry gives her a kiss. A promise that everything will be alright.

thank you for reading my beautiful friends! let me know your favorite parts

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles story #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst story #harry styles fic rec #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction

580 notes · View notes

the-mediaeval-monk · 28 days

Note

Hey! Thanks so much for sharing that list of monastic-themed fiction. Would you mind also sharing some good non-fiction titles on monastic masculinity? (I saw in one of your posts that it was a topic in your dissertation.) It doesn’t have to be exhaustive, just something for an introduction or maybe some titles you personally like. Thanks a lot!

Hi! Yes, here is a (non-exhaustive) list of sources :)

Primary Sources:

Clairvaux, Bernard of. The Letters of St. Bernard of Clairvaux. Translated by Bruno Scott James. London: Burns Oates, 1953.

Daniel, Walter. The Life of Aelred of Rievaulx. Translated by F. M. Powicke. Edited by Marsha Dutton. Kalamazoo, Mich.: Cistercian, 1994.

Gender and Sexuality in the Middle Ages : A Medieval Source Documents Reader, edited by Martha A. Brozyna, Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland & Co., 2005.

McNeill, John T., and Helena M. Gamer. Medieval Handbooks of Penance : A Translation of the Principal "Libri Poenitentiales" and Selections from Related Documents. New York ; Chichester: Columbia University Press, 1990.

Suso, Henry. The Life of the Servant. Translated by James M. Clark. London: James Clarke & Co Ltd., 1952.

Secondary Sources

Arnold, John H. "The Labor of Continence: Masculinity and Clerical Virginity." In Medieval Virginities, edited by Anke Bernau, Sarah Salih and Ruth Evans, 102-18. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2003.

Boswell, John. Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality : Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century. Chicago ; London: University of Chicago Press, 1980.

Bullough, Vern L. "On Being a Male in the Middle Ages." In Medieval Masculinities, edited by Clare A. Lees, Thelma Fenster and Jo Ann McNamara. Regarding Men in the Middle Ages, 31-46: University of Minnesota Press, 1994.

Bynum, Caroline Walker. "Jesus as Mother and Abbot as Mother: Some Themes in Twelfth-Century Cistercian Writing." The Harvard Theological Review 70, no. 3/4 (1977): 257-84. http://www.jstor.org/stable/1509631.

Bynum, Caroline Walker. Jesus as Mother : Studies in the Spirituality of the High Middle Ages. Publications of the Center for Medieval and Renaissance Studies, Ucla. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1982.

Bynum, Caroline Walker. "The Female Body and Religious Practice in the Later Middle Ages." Chap. 6 In Fragmentation and Redemption : Essays on Gender and the Human Body in Medieval Religion, 181-238. New York: Zone Books, 1992.

Connell, R.W. "The History of Masculinity." Chap. 14 In The Masculinity Studies Reader, edited by Rachel Adams and David Savran, 245-61. Malden, Mass. ; Oxford: Blackwell, 2002.

Coon, Lynda L. Dark Age Bodies : Gender and Monastic Practice in the Early Medieval West. The Middle Ages Series. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2011.

Damrosch, David. "9. Non Alia Sed Aliter: The Hermeneutics of Gender in Bernard of Clairvaux." In Images of Sainthood in Medieval Europe, edited by Szell Timea, 181-96. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 1991.

Doss, Jacob W. "Making Masculine Monks: Gender, Space, and the Imagined “Child” in Twelfth-Century Cistercian Identity Formation." Church History 91, no. 3 (2022): 467-91. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0009640722002098.

Elliott, Dyan. Fallen Bodies : Pollution, Sexuality, and Demonology in the Middle Ages. The Middle Ages Series. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1998.

Elliott, Dyan. The Corrupter of Boys: Sodomy, Scandal, and the Medieval Clergy. The Middle Ages Series Edited by Ruth Mazo Karras. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2020.

Gutt, Blake. "Medieval Trans Lives in Anamorphosis: Looking Back and Seeing Differently (Pregnant Men and Backward Birth)." Medieval feminist forum 55, 1 (2019): 174–206.

Hadley, D. M. "Introduction: Medieval Masculinities." In Masculinity in Medieval Europe, 1-18. London: Longman, 1999.

Hotchkiss, Valerie R. Clothes Make the Man : Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe. New York ; London: Garland, 1996.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. From Boys to Men : Formations of Masculinity in Late Medieval Europe. Philadelphia ; [Great Britain]: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. "The Regulation of “Sodomy” in the Latin East and West." Speculum 95, no. 4 (2020): 969-86. https://doi.org/10.1086/710639. https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/710639.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. "Attitudes to Same- Sex Sexual Relations in the Latin World." In A Companion to Crime and Deviance in the Middle Ages, edited by Skoda Hannah, 84-101. Amsterdam: ARC Humanities Press, 2023.

Karras, Ruth Mazo, and Katherine E. Pierpont. Sexuality in Medieval Europe : Doing Unto Others. Fourth ed. London: Routledge, 2023.

Kerr, Julie. Life in the Medieval Cloister. United Kingdom: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2009.

Kieckhefer, Richard. "14. Holiness and the Culture of Devotion: Remarks on Some Late Medieval Male Saints." In Images of Sainthood in Medieval Europe, edited by Szell Timea, 288-305. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 1991.

Kieckhefer, Richard. Forbidden Rites : A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century. University Park, PA, UNITED STATES: Pennsylvania State University Press, 1998. http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/exeter/detail.action?docID=6224672.

Kieckhefer, Richard. "Necromancy in the Clerical Underworld." Chap. 7 In Magic in the Middle Ages, 151-75. Cambridge, UK ; New York: Cambridge University Press, 2000.

Klaassen, Frank. "Learning and Masculinity in Manuscripts of Ritual Magic of the Later Middle Ages and Renaissance." The Sixteenth Century Journal 38, no. 1 (2007): 49-76. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20478245.

Klaassen, Frank. "Necromancy." In The Routledge History of Medieval Magic, edited by Sophie Page and Catherine Rider. London: Routledge, 2019.

Kolve, V. A. "Ganymede/Son of Getron: Medieval Monasticism and the Drama of Same-Sex Desire." Speculum 73, no. 4 (1998): 1014-67. https://doi.org/10.2307/2887367. http://www.jstor.org/stable/2887367.

Linkinen, Tom. Same-Sex Sexuality in Later Medieval English Culture. Amsterdam: Amsterdam University Press, 2015.

McNamara, Jo Ann. "The Herrenfrage the Restructuring of the Gender System, 1050–1150." In Medieval Masculinities, edited by Jo Ann McNamara, Clare A. Lees and Thelma Fenster. Regarding Men in the Middle Ages, 3-30: University of Minnesota Press, 1994.

Mills, Robert. "The Signification of the Tonsure." In Holiness and Masculinity in the Middle Ages, edited by P. H. Cullum and Katherine J. Lewis, 109-26. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2004.

Mills, Robert. "Transgender Time." In Seeing Sodomy in the Middle Ages University of Chicago Press, 2015.

Muir, Carolyn Diskant. "Bride or Bridegroom? Masculine Identity in Mystic Marriages." In Holiness and Masculinity in the Middle Ages, edited by P. H. Cullum and Katherine J. Lewis, 58-78. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2004.

Murray, Jacqueline. "Masculinizing Religious Life: Sexual Prowess, the Battle for Chastity, and Monastic Identity." In Holiness and Masculinity in the Middle Ages, edited by P. H. Cullum and Katherine J. Lewis, 24-42. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 2004.

Murray, Jacqueline. "One Flesh, Two Sexes, Three Genders?". In Gender and Christianity in Medieval Europe, edited by Lisa M. Bitel and Felice Lifshitz. New Perspectives, 34-51: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2008.

Nelson, J.L. "Monks, Secular Men and Masculinity, C. 900." In Masculinity in Medieval Europe, edited by Dawn M. Hadley. Women and Men in History 121-42. London: Longman, 1999.

Newman, Martha G. "Real Men and Imaginary Women: Engelhard of Langheim Considers a Woman in Disguise." Speculum 78, no. 4 (2003): 1184-213. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20060926.

Rollo, David. Medieval Writings on Sex between Men: Peter Damian’s the Book of Gomorrah and Alain De Lille’s the Plaint of Nature. Brill, 22 Feb. 2022, 2022. doi:https://doi.org/10.1163/9789004507326. https://brill.com/view/title/57406.

Sauer, Michelle M. "Uncovering Difference: Encoded Homoerotic Anxiety within the Christian Eremitic Tradition in Medieval England." Journal of the History of Sexuality 19, no. 1 (2010): 133-52. http://www.jstor.org/stable/40663371.

Shopkow, Leah. "Mooning the Abbot: A Tale of Disorder, Vulgarity, Ethnicity, and Underwear in the Monastery." Chap. 9 In Prowess, Piety, and Public Order in Medieval Society: Studies in Honor of Richard W. Kaeuper, edited by Craig M. Nakashian and Daniel P. Franke, 179-98: Brill, 2017.

Thibodeaux, Jennifer D. The Manly Priest : Clerical Celibacy, Masculinity, and Reform in England and Normandy, 1066-1300. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2015.

Trokhimenko, Olga V. ""Believing That Which Cannot Be": (De)Constructing Medieval Clerical Masculinity in "Des Münches Not"." The German Quarterly 85, no. 2 (2012): 121-36. http://www.jstor.org/stable/41494744.

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography. Edited by Alicia Spencer-Hall, and Blake Gutt. Netherlands: Amsterdam University Press, 2021.

#asks and answers #reading lists #monkposting #medieval monk #queer #history

14 notes · View notes

pamphletstoinspire · 17 days

Text

Perfect - and Powerful - Summer Devotions for the Holy Souls in Purgatory

Ah, summertime, and the living is easy. Two weeks of vacation. A few days at the beach. An afternoon picnic in the park. And….

Prayers for the suffering souls in purgatory? Absolutely! No week or two off for them. Purgatory is never a day at the beach.

The revelations of St. Alphonsus Liguori and St. Teresa of Avila tell us most souls are released from purgatory on Christmas Day. OK. Why not give them “Christmas in July”! And August. Why not make these three summer months a time to help them … and, in doing that, help ourselves?

Ourselves? You bet. Do you think it’s even remotely possible that the souls you’ve helped free from purgatory are going to forget the role you played once they’ve entered heaven? Not now, not ever. From that instant you have good, good friends in not just high places. In the highest place ever.

(Actually, they knew what you were doing for them while they were in purgatory and that’s when they started praying —interceding — for you).

The Precious Blood July is the month of Precious Blood. The holy souls long for the Precious Blood of that Sacred Heart. St. Thomas Aquinas tells us that “as the dew refreshes and raises up the withering plants and flowers, so does the Blood of Christ revive and comfort and bring renewed hope to the poor souls in purgatory.” This summer print out or bookmark the Litany of the Sacred Heart and the Litany of the Most Precious Blood and pray them often for the holy souls. No access to a computer or smartphone? Ask a friend to print a copy for you (It’s good to have friends of earth, too!).

The Stations of the Cross Along with the Mass and Rosary, the praying the Stations of the Cross is a powerful, powerful, powerful way to help souls in purgatory and acquire merit for ourselves (No, the Stations aren’t meant to be limited to cold, dark Lenten Fridays). As Jesus pointed out to Venerable Sister Martha Marie Chambon (introducer of the Holy Wounds Chaplet Rosary): “When you offer my holy wounds for sinners, you must not forget to do so for the souls in purgatory, as there are but few who think of their relief.”

It’s not that we don’t care. It’s not that we don’t want to. It’s just that, shrug, we get busy. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of our prayers. Two suggestions here. The standard Stations of the Cross (or Way of the Cross) or the ancient devotion of praying The Way of the Cross for the Holy Souls. That’s the title of the first book I ever wrote (edited) and I don’t mention it here to make sales.

Please forgive me if it seems like I’m tooting my own horn. I’m not. But I never hesitate to toot horns, bang drums, and shout from the rooftops for the holy souls in purgatory. You can find a copy of the Stations of the Cross here. And more information about The Way of the Cross for Holy Souls here.

Following a practice that goes back many centuries, consider praying the Stations for the holy souls for thirty-three consecutive days at home or at church. If possible, go to Mass on each of those days in honor of Our Lord’s thirty-three years on earth. What a marvelous summer devotion this can be. I know this devotion is potent since I have done it for years. Many favors have been obtained by this means. It’s an exchange of prayers. I love Blessed Solanus’ statement: “The holy souls hardly ever fail.”

And remember: In a special way we can offer this practice for the priests and consecrated men and women in purgatory who tend to be forgotten too soon after their deaths. Remember, we gain fresh intercessors and when we pray for the souls plus it increases their intercessory power for you! (See the Catechism of the Catholic Church #958).

Take a “Prayer Stroll” In August, a month devoted to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, try a family “prayer stroll” through your local cemetery to pray for all those buried there. Continually pray the Eternal Rest Prayer on your rosary beads.

Visit the graves of your loved ones and clean their sites in a spirit of prayer and penance. Place or plant flowers near their grave in their honor. Have younger family members sprinkle holy water on the graves. (It’s one of the first sacramentals of the Church. Holy water refreshes the holy souls).

I did this with my young cousin, and he ran around the cemetery sprinkling holy water on the nearby graves as well! That’s the spirit, and a lesson for the youngest generation. Remember Masses and Gregorian Masses. The Pious Union of St. Joseph is one of the best organizations to arrange Masses for your deceased dear ones.

A Day with Mary Pious legend has it that on the day Mary was assumed into heaven (now marked on August 15th) all of purgatory was emptied, and the souls detained there accompanied her in her triumphant entry into paradise.

St. Bernardine of Siena said that through her prayers and the application of her own merits, the Blessed Mother has the power of freeing souls — especially her devotees — from purgatory. And St. Peter Damian attests that every year on the Solemnity of the Assumption, Our Lady liberates thousands of souls.

This summer, join with her, pray with her, for the souls who are longing for their personal, spiritual, "Independence Day." And let the celestial fireworks begin!

BY SUSAN TASSONE

6 notes · View notes

johnschneiderblog · 3 months

Text

Popular piper laid to rest

Would it have been possible to send Terry Carroll off without pipes and drums ...?

Sure. And, it would have possible for Carroll, at some point in his 89 years, to give up the pipes in favor of the English horn. Possible, but a sin against nature.

At the post-funeral reception, Carroll's mates from the Glen Erin Pipe Band played Carroll off stage in fine form. It was an appropriate farewell to a man who, as the old song goes, played at wakes and weddings far and wide.

As I noted upon Carroll's passing last month, he played his pipes at both my older son's wedding and my older daughter's funeral.

The fact that people were lined up to get into Carrolls funeral mass at St. Martha's Church Saturday morning says a lot about the man. The old piper was a popular figure in mid-Michigan.

One of people who took the podium Saturday said that, in his final days, Carroll didn't really care whether he went to heaven or hell because he had a lot of friends in both places.

That was Terry Carroll.

#John Schneider #Terry Carroll death #funeral and reception #pipes and drums #Glen Erin Pipe Band

7 notes · View notes

orthodoxydaily · 6 months

Text

Saints&Reading: Sunday, December 24, 2023

december 11_december 24

Week of Holy Forefathers:

The Sunday that falls between December 11-17 is known as the Sunday of the Holy Forefathers. These are the ancestors of Christ according to the flesh, who lived before the Law and under the Law, especially the Patriarch Abraham, to whom God said, “In thy seed shall all of the nations of the earth be blessed” (Gen. 12:3, 22:18).

VENERABLE DANIEL THE STYLITE OF CONSTANTINOPLE (490)

Saint Daniel the Stylite was born in the village of Bethara, near the city of Samosata in Mesopotamia. His mother Martha was childless for a long while and in her prayers she vowed that if she had a child, she would dedicate him to the Lord. Her prayers were heard, and Martha soon gave birth to a son, who was without a name until he was five years of age.

The boy’s parents desired that since he was born through the good-will of God, he should also receive his name from God. They took their son to a monastery located nearby and approached the igumen. The igumen gave orders to take down one of the service books, and unrolled it at random. He found the Prophet Daniel (December 17) mentioned in it. Thus did the boy receive his name. The parents asked that he might remain at the monastery, but the igumen would not accept him, since he was still only a small boy. At twelve years of age, saying nothing to anyone, the child left home for the monastery.

His parents were happy when they learned where their son was, and they went to the monastery. Seeing that he was still going about in his worldly clothes, they besought that the igumen should clothe him in the angelic garb. That Sunday the igumen fulfilled their request, but permitted them often to visit their son. The brethren of the monastery were astonished at the saint’s ascetical efforts.

Once, Saint Simeon the Stylite (September 1) visited the monastery. He foretold to the young monk that he too would undertake the feat of pillar-dwelling. Saint Daniel continued with his ascetic life in seclusion. When the place of a new exploit was revealed to him in a vision, he withdrew into the Thracian wilderness together with two disciples. They set up a pillar, upon which Saint Daniel dwelt for 33 years. People thronged to the pillar, the unfortunate and those who were sick, and all received help and healing from Saint Daniel. Byzantine emperors also sought the prayers of the holy ascetic. The most notable of the saint’s predictions was about a great fire in Constantinople. Saint Daniel possessed also the gift of gracious words. He guided many onto the path of correcting their lives. The monk reposed in his eightieth year.

Source: Orthodox Church in America_OCA

St NICON THE DRY OF THE KIEV NEAR CAVE( 1101)

Saint Nikon the Dry, the son of rich and illustrious parents, gave up everything for Christ and became a monk at the Kiev Caves monastery. In the year 1096, during the incursions of Khan Bonyak, he was taken into captivity with some other monks. The captors treated Saint Nikon harshly, while waiting for a ransom to be paid. When the saint refused to be ransomed, his masters began to torment him with hunger, and left him exposed in the heat of summer and the cold of winter. He was mistreated and beaten every day for about three years, for his captors thought he would change his mind and send word to his relatives, asking to be ransomed.

The saint gave thanks to God for everything, and once said to his tormentor that the Lord, through the prayers of Saints Anthony and Theodosius would return him to his monastery within three days, as Saint Eustratius (March 28) had predicted while appearing to him.

The captor cut the tendons in Saint Nikon’s legs and set a strong guard over him. But suddenly, on the third day at the sixth hour, the holy captive became invisible. At the moment the guard heard the words, “Praise the Lord from the Heavens” (Ps. 148).

Saint Nikon was transported to the Dormition church, where the Divine Liturgy was being served. The brethren surrounded him and began to ask how he got there. Saint Nikon wanted to conceal the miracle, but the brethren implored him to tell the truth.

Saint Nikon did not want to have his fetters removed, but the igumen said, “If the Lord had wanted you to remain fettered, He would not have delivered you from captivity.”

After a long while Saint Nikon’s former master came to the Kiev Caves monastery and recognized his former captive, who was withered from hunger and the loss of blood from his wounds. He came to believe in Christ, and accepted Baptism. After receiving monastic tonsure, he became a novice under Saint Nikon’s direction.

Saint Nikon died at the beginning of the twelfth century and was buried in the Near Caves. Though he did not enjoy good health in this life, his holy relics were glorified by incorruption. His memory is celebrated also on September 28 and on the second Sunday of Great Lent.

COLOSSIANS 3:4-11

4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. 5 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. 8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, 11 where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.

LUKE 14:16-24

16 Then He said to him, "A certain man gave a great supper and invited many, 17 and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, 'Come, for all things are now ready.' 18 But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, 'I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.' 19 And another said, 'I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.' 20 Still another said, 'I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.' 21 So that servant came and reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house, being angry, said to his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in here the poor and the maimed and the lame and the blind.' 22 And the servant said, 'Master, it is done as you commanded, and still there is room.' 23 Then the master said to the servant, 'Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. 24 'For I say to you that none of those men who were invited shall taste my supper.' "

Commentary of the Church's Father:

Theophylact of Ochrid AD 1107 : Because the man who sat at table with Him had said, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God, the Lord teaches him at some length what it means to feast with God, and tells this parable. By a certain man the Lord means His Father, the Lover of man. Whenever Scripture alludes to God's power to punish, He is called a panther, a leopard, or a bear [Hos. 13:7-8].

But whenever it alludes to God's love for man, He is presented as a man, as is the case here. Since the parable treats of God's extreme love for man and the divine economy of the Incarnation which He worked in us, making us sharers of the Flesh of His Son, the parable calls God a man and this divine economy a great supper. It is a supper because the Lord came in the last days, as it were at the evening of this age. And this supper is great because great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of our salvation. [I Tim. 3:16]

And he sent his servant at supper time. Who is this servant? The Son of God, Who assumed the form a servant and became man, and as a man is said to have been sent forth. Notice how He did not say "a servant," but instead, using the definite article, the servant [of his.] Christ is the One and only Servant Who in His human nature was perfectly obedient and pleasing to God. For Christ is pleasing to the Father not only as Son and God, but also as Man. He is the only Sinless One Who carried out all the counsels and commandments of the Father and fulfilled all righteousness, and in this sense is said to serve God the Father. He alone can be called the true Servant of God. He was sent at supper time, that is, at the appointed and proper time.

For there was no other time more opportune for our salvation than the reign of Caesar Augustus, when iniquity had reached its peak and it was critical that it be cleansed. Just as physicians allow a festering and malignant boil to burst and release all its foul pus, and only then apply the medication, so too it was necessary that sin first display all its forms, and then the Great Physician applied His medicine. For this very reason the Lord waited for the devil to fill the full measure of iniquity, and then the Son of God took flesh and healed every form of iniquity by every aspect of His holy life. Therefore He was sent at that hour, that is, at that comely and opportune season of which David says, Gird Thy sword upon Thy thigh, 0 Mighty One, in Thy comeliness. (2)

Certainly the sword here signifies the Word of God [Heb. 4:12], while the words upon Thy thigh indicate His Nativity in the flesh which was in comeliness, that is, when the time was right and seemly. He was sent to speak to those who had been called. Who are those that were called? Perhaps this refers to all men. For God has called all to the knowledge of Him, by means of the order and harmony of visible creation, and by means of the natural law. But those that were called are also, more specifically, the children of Israel, who were called through the law and the prophets. In the first place, then, the Lord was sent to the sheep of the house of Israel. [Mt. 15:24] The Lord was saying to all the Jews, Come, for all things are now ready, when He proclaimed the good tidings that the kingdom of heaven is at hand [Mt. 4:17], and among you [Lk. 17:21].

And they all with one accord began to make excuse, that is, as if at a signal. For all the leaders of the Jews refused to have Jesus as their King, and thus were found unworthy of the supper, one because of his love of wealth, and another because of his love of pleasure. The man who bought a piece of ground and the man who bought the five yoke of oxen signify those who love wealth, while the man who married a wife signifies those who love pleasure. Furthermore, the man who bought a piece of ground signifies the man who cannot accept the mystery of faith because he is governed by the wisdom of this world. The piece of ground represents the world and, in general, nature, and the man who must go and see his piece of ground is he who sees only nature, and cannot accept what is beyond nature.

Therefore the Pharisee, for example, "sees his piece of ground," that is, he looks only at the laws of nature and cannot accept that a Virgin gave birth to God, because that is beyond nature. Because they are examining this "piece of ground," that is, nature, none of those who boast in external wisdom have recognized Jesus Who made nature new. The man who bought five yoke of oxen, and tested them, also represents a man who loves the material world. He has yoked the five senses of the soul to the five senses of the body and has made the soul into flesh. For this reason he is concerned only with the earth and does not desire to commune of the rational Supper, for as Wisdom says, How can he get wisdom that holdeth the plough? [Eccles. (Wis. of Sirach) 38:25]

He who stays behind because of a wife is a lover of pleasure who has devoted himself to the flesh, the mate of the soul. By cleaving to the flesh he cannot please God. You may also understand these things literally. We also fall away from God because of fields, because of yokes of oxen, because of marriages, when we become so attached to them that they consume our whole life and we are carried away even to the point of shedding blood over them. Then there is no divine thought or word that we can practice, or even comprehend

#orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxchurch #originofchristianity #spirituality #holyscriptures #gospel #bible #wisdom #saints

7 notes · View notes

t0rschlusspan1k · 3 months

Text

The Telegraph | 'God told us to exorcise my daughter's demons. I don't regret her death'

By Elizabeth Day

27 November 2005 • 12:01am

[...] From the very beginning, Anneliese's life was governed by fear. Her family was deeply religious. Her father had considered training as a priest and three of her aunts were nuns. But the Michels had a secret. In 1948, Anneliese's mother gave birth to an illegitimate daughter, Martha, bringing such disgrace on her family that she was forced to wear a black veil on her wedding day. When Anneliese was born in 1952, her mother encouraged her to atone for the sins of illegitimacy through fervent devotion. But when Martha was eight, she died from complications arising from an operation to remove a kidney tumour. Anneliese, a kind-hearted and deeply sensitive girl, must have felt ever more strongly the pressure to do penance for her mother.

She found herself increasingly surrounded by evidence of sinfulness and increasingly anxious to be rid of it. While other children in the 1960s were rebelling testing the limits of their freedom, Anneliese slept on a bare stone floor to atone for the sins of the drug addicts who slept rough at the local train station. In 1968, aged 17, she began to suffer convulsions. Although initially diagnosed with grand mal epilepsy, she started experiencing devilish hallucinations while praying. By 1973, she was suffering severe depression and considering suicide. Voices in her head told her she was damned. She asked the local priest for exorcism and was twice refused. But gradually, Anneliese slipped further into the abyss. She would perform 600 genuflections a day, eventually rupturing her knee ligaments. [...] In 1975, her third request for exorcism was granted by the Bishop of Wurzburg. "I don't regret it," says Anna Michel firmly. "There was no other way." We shall never know if there was. By this stage, Anneliese had refused further medical intervention from the Psychiatric Clinic Wurzburg. Her symptoms have subsequently been compared to schizophrenia and should have responded to treatment. There has also been speculation that Anneliese might have been influenced by the release of William Friedkin's The Exorcist, in 1973. But whatever lay behind her disturbance, the exorcism could have caused Anneliese to believe her own hallucinations. [...] Her parents buried her next to Martha at the outer edges of the cemetery - ground normally reserved for illegitimate children and suicides. Even in death, Anneliese was not free of the sinfulness she fought so hard to repent of.

Today, the 2000 inhabitants of Klingenberg are unwilling to speak of Anneliese Michel. A gentle enquiry to passers-by is greeted with hostile glares and a shake of the head. "The town is ashamed," says Christiana Metzler, 42, who works in the tourist office. "I was at school when it happened and there were a lot of things covered up. People don't want to talk about it. There is a feeling that it was the parents' fault because they were so religious they didn't see what was happening. Sometimes Catholic pilgrims come to her grave because they think she can save lost souls. But there are not many of them. Now there is this film coming out, we are worried it will all be stirred up again." It is a past that the Church is ashamed of, too. In 1984, German bishops petitioned Rome to review the exorcism rite in the light of the Michel case. Although their recommendations were not adopted, the Vatican published a revised exorcism rite in 1999 - the first update since the 17th century - and has introduced a qualification in exorcism that maks priests undergo medical training. "I wouldn't have carried out the exorcism [on Anneliese Michel]," admits Fr Dieter Feineis, the current priest at St Pankratius Church in Klingenberg. "But both Anna Michel and her husband remained absolutely convinced that what they had done was right. The view of the Church is that it is possible to be possessed, but in Germany there are no more exorcisms." In Italy, however, it is a different matter. According to the Italian Association of Psychiatrists and Psychologists, half a million Italians seek exorcisms each year. There are about 350 practising exorcists worldwide. Earlier this year, a priest and several nuns in a Romanian Orthodox convent in Tanacu believed that Maricia Irina Cornici, a 23-year-old nun, was possessed. They carried out an exorcism ritual and tied her to a cross, pushing a towel in her mouth and denying her food or water, She was dead three days later. [...]

#articles #The Telegraph #Anneliese Michel #exorcisms #religion #bigotry #true crime #murder #filicide #The Exorcism of Emily Rose #The Exorcist #1960s #1970s #women in history #Elizabeth Day #2005 #2000s #religious trauma #childhood trauma

4 notes · View notes

my-deer-history · 2 years

Text

The John Laurens walking tour of London

On my recent trip to London, I took a walk through the centre of the city, retracing the steps that John Laurens would have taken while he was living and studying law there. London’s outward appearance has changed immensely over the intervening 250 years, but its underlying structure and streets are all just as they were, and a few of the historic landmarks remain.

St Mary Axe

I shall drink Tea, in St Mary Axe this afternoon, and give advice of the Bill, &ca as you desire_

John Laurens to Henry Laurens, 20 April 1775

Starting from the furthest east is the street of St Mary Axe - notable for two locations. The first is the home of the Manning family. Henry had asked William Manning to keep an eye on his sons when he left London, so John was a frequent visitor for dinner, and his brothers often stayed with the Mannings when they weren’t at school.

The other landmark on St Mary Axe is St Andrew Undershaft, the church where John and Martha got married, and where Frances was baptised.

Source

Birchin Lane

I am writing in a great hurry as you may see, in the Carolina Coffee House

John Laurens to Henry Laurens, 1 March 1775

25 Birchin Lane was the location of the Carolina Coffee House - the London meeting place, social club and administrative centre for Carolinians in London. Business and personal correspondence sent to Carolina natives living in London would usually be directed here. John spent his fair share of time here - socialising (and arguing), writing letters, and picking up or dropping off packets for posting.

Chancery Lane

how delightful is it to Sit here talking to my Son in Chancery Lane

Henry Laurens to John Laurens, 22 January 1775

Chancery Lane was - and remains - one of hubs of the legal profession in London. It leads to Lincoln’s Inn, the oldest and biggest of the four inns of court (then, as now, legal schools for the training of barristers), housed the crown rolls (records of the crown court), and was the home of many lawyers in the city. That included Charles Bicknell, the lawyer with whose family John lived for most of his time in London.

Street numbers were rarely used in the 18th century, but I think I’ve narrowed down where on the street John lived in this post here.

Middle Temple

To morrow I shall take [Harry] to the Temple Church with me, where my Bond requires me to attend

John Laurens to Henry Laurens, 5 November 1774

John was enrolled at the Middle Temple for his legal studies. To “keep term” - in other words, meet the requirements of the school and complete one of his twelve required academic terms - John had to attend a certain number of dinners at Middle Temple Hall, which dates back to Elizabethan times.

(Fun fact - Middle Temple Hall is closed to the public, but you can go there for lunch on certain days if you pre-book! Highly recommended.)

He was also required to attend church services at Temple Church, a beautiful 12th-century church built by the Knights Templar and jointly owned by the Inner and Middle Temples.

Fludyer Street and St James’s Park

these are hard lines my Son, but not too hard for us to walk on, necessity has no Law_ remember our Conversation in St James's Park

Henry Laurens to John Laurens, 8 January 1776

When Henry and his sons first arrived in London in 1771, they stayed little further west, in what was once the separate town of Westminster. The street they lived on - Fludyer Street, which ran parallel to Downing Street - no longer exists, though you can see it marked on old maps (bottom right, leading out onto St James's Park).

Fludyer Street led straight to St James’s Park, where the Laurens family frequently took walks.

Detail from Canaletto's New Horse Guards from St James’s Park (1753)

#john laurens #historical john laurens #18th century history #18th century london #american history #amrev #middle temple #temple church #chancery lane

54 notes · View notes

catholic-saint-tournament · 1 year

Note

peter literally started the catholic church HOW IS HE LOSING??

Fam I don't know what to tell you. Martha v Peter is a trip! it's going to be the TIGHTEST competition in round one!

He's losing for the same reason as St Elizabeth is barely winning over Santa Muerte. Or why the dog folk saint is beating a human.

That reason is that this is tumblr and everyone here is really fucking weird.

#st peter #st martha #st elizabeth #santa muerte #st guinefort #st aphrodisius #catholic saint tournament

13 notes · View notes

mongrelmutt · 5 months

Text

My books read list for 2023! For the first time I met my goal of at least one book a week!! 😁

1. "A Conspiracy of Kings" -- Megan Whalen Turner

2. "Thick as Thieves" -- Megan Whalen Turner

3. "Return of the Thief" -- Megan Whalen Turner

4. "Vatican II" -- John O'Malley

5. "The Catholic Church: A Short History" -- Hans Küng, translated by John Bowden

6. "Confessions" and "Letter to Coroticus" -- St. Patrick

7. "Through the Brazilian Wilderness" -- Theodore Roosevelt

8. "The Wind in the Willows" -- Kenneth Grahame

9. "Period: The Real Story of Menstruation" -- Kate Clancy

10. "Star Wars: Padawan" -- Kiersten White

11. "Star Wars: Master and Apprentice" -- Claudia Gray

12. "Deep Down Dark" -- Héctor Tobar

13. "The Lost World" -- Michael Crichton

14. "Provida Mater Ecclesia: Apostolic Constitution of Pope Pius XII Concerning Secular Institutes" (English translation) -- Pope Pius XII

15. "Frankenstein" -- Mary Shelley

16. "Kenobi" -- John Jackson Miller

17. "Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law" -- Mary Roach

18. "Trigun" and "Trigun Maximum" -- Yasuhiro Nightow

19. "Contagion of Liberty: The Politics of Smallpox in the American Revolution" -- Andrew M. Wehrman

20. "Gay and Catholic: Accepting My Sexuality, Finding Community, Living My Faith" -- Eve Tushnet

21. "The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth" -- Beth Allison Bar

22. "Turtles All The Way Down" -- John Green

23. "All Systems Red (Murderbot Diaries #1)" -- Martha Wells

24. "Artificial Condition (Murderbot Diaries #2)" -- Martha Wells

25. "Rogue Protocol (Murderbot Diaries #3)" -- Martha Wells

26. "Exit Strategy (Murderbot Diaries #4) -- Martha Wells

27. "Network Effect (Murderbot Diaries #5) -- Martha Wells

28. "Fugitive Telemetry (Murderbot Diaries #6) -- Martha Wells

29. "Isaac's Storm: A Man, a Time, and the Deadliest Hurricane in History" -- Erik Larson

30. "The Johnstown Flood" -- David McCullough

31. "The Last Days of the Dinosaurs: An Asteroid, Extinction, and the Beginning of Our World" -- Riley Black

32. "Beastly Brains: Exploring How Animals Think, Talk, and Feel" -- Nancy F. Castaldo

33. "The Rise and Reign of Mammals: A New History from the Shadows of the Dinosaurs to Us" -- Steve Brusatte

34. "Dog Sense: How the New Science of Dog Behavior Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Dog" -- John Bradshaw

35. "Evolution Gone Wrong: The Curious Reasons Why Our Bodies Work (or Don't)" -- Alex Bezzerides

36. "Immune: A Journey Into the Mysterious System that Keeps You Alive" -- Philipp Dettmer

37. "Catholicism and ADHD: Finding Holiness Despite Distractions" -- Alex R. Hey, PCAC

38. "The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons: The History of the Human Brain as Revealed by True Stories of Trauma, Madness, and Recovery" -- Sam Kean

39. "An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us" -- Ed Yong

40. "Lesser Beasts: A Snout-to-Tail History of the Humble Pig" -- Mark Essig

41. "The Mind's Eye" -- Oliver Sacks

42. "Loveless" -- Alice Oseman

43. "The Monkey Trial: John Scopes and the Battle Over Teaching Evolution" -- Anita Sanchez

44. "The Great Quake: How the Biggest Earthquake in North America Changed Our Understanding of the Planet" -- Henry Fountain

45. "Kiki's Delivery Service" -- Eiko Kadono (translated by Emily Balistrieri)

46. "Origin: A Genetic History of the Americas" -- Jennifer Raff

47. "Ancillary Justice" -- Ann Leckie

48. "An Elegant Defense: The Extraordinary New Science of the Immune System: A Tale in Four Lives" -- Matt Richtel

49. "System Collapse (Murderbot Diaries #7)" -- Martha Wells

50. "Spying on Whales: The Past, Present, and Future of Earth's Most Awesome Creatures" -- Nick Pyeson

51. "Howl's Moving Castle" -- Diana Wynne Jones

52. "We Have Always Lived in the Castle" -- Shirley Jackson

53. "Sarah, Plain and Tall" and "Skylark" -- Patricia MacLachlan

54. "The Haunting of Hill House" -- Shirley Jackson

55. "All Creation Waits: The Advent Mystery of New Beginnings" -- Gayle Boss (illustrated by David G. Klein)

#books read 2023 #reading #books #long post #personal

3 notes · View notes

angeltreasure · 4 months

Note

Cecilia here. I did have some time to think on what you said, and being able to get off of work from the injury really has changed some perspective, Lent hasnt been a failure, rather productive actually. For example, I have been able to attend daily mass and adoration much easier, I've finished Story of a Soul, and picked up a new Chaplet to St. Anthony. I also went on retreat fine, the drive wasn't too bad. And I had a lot of revelations while there, I think I'm more contemplative than I had assumed, maybe completely active order religious isn't for me. We had adoration and we got to kneel right in front of the monstrance on the first night, and just be in front of Our Lord, like I could touch it that close. Literally I heard Him in my heart say Just Let Me Love You. I may have cried, the theme also during my prayers I found was God in relation to me doesnt want a soldier, He wants a bride. I'm used to fighting for what I have, having to be strong for my own survival, for whats right, for others, for protecting God's Word from defamation and slander, practically everything, but it felt like He is telling me to just be a bride, which I'm still learning how to do. Otherwise I'm gonna talk to my spiritual advisor tomorrow too, so I can get more clarity on everything, this is just a touch of everything. God Bless you sister Angel, I brought your journey to prayer and your intentions I'd seen online while on retreat, I hope that you're doing well, and your words are always so comforting in times of distress so praying for you and I hope you're doing well. Btw TLM is wonderful, do attend it if you need an option for your work hours, daily TLM is quite meditative since most of the Mass is done in silence.

It’s really interesting to watch where God leads us on our path. We think we have a steady mountain path up to clearing in the woods, but God has another plan. He sends you on the unexpected turn to a path that is rugged, a path which we are uncertain of the destination. Instead of the forest clearing, He leads His little lamb up to a clearing where you can see a beautiful view of the blue sky and sprawling mountain range. It’s like switching from being Martha to Mary. He invites some to listen to that still, small voice that begs your love in return, a surrender to His will: ‘Just let Me love you as my bride.’

To learn how to just be His bride feels similar as a mystery that I am feeling called on:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

You are going to learn how to be that bride by the charism of the religious order you look into. Once you find your top three over time, you will find a rich treasure of information about the founders and how they made the order to be. It can be a great solace and answer that tug you feel in your heart. Your spiritual director might be able to offer advice for sure about how to be a bride, even now as a layperson and have some Orders in mind.

The closest Catholic church to my house is a TLM only church. Might have to look at that website again. They lock a lot of church doors around.

Aww! Thank you for continuing to pray for me. I’m glad I can pray for you.

#asks #Cecilia

2 notes · View notes

bayleafpsa · 1 year

Text

Gather 'round kids, it's Complaining About DD2 Time, and since this is my private hole I'm not gonna be too polite about it.

Spoilers to be expected, obviously. Please, if you like dd2 and its backstories, do not go ahead and read. I'm not going to convince you it's bad and you're not going to convince me it's good. This is for my own sake and to any that want to read someone expressing their own annoyance at length.

Now, I was never a DD2 nay-sayer. And gameplay-wise? This is not a bad game. It's not DD1 and I'm glad for it. It had the balls to try something new and it succeeded there. The main issues were patched out in early access, the visuals are STUNNING and the music is as good as always.

But story-wise? As a sequel to DD1? As an opportunity to expand the lore of beloved characters? It failed so, so hard. Like, "what the fuck are you doing, how are you doing this to the characters you wrote"-hard.

Characters have their mistakes whitewashed from their dd1 portrayals, random trauma is dumped on them without any sense of character progression or central motivation. Dismas is by far the worst offender on the whitewashing front, but he's not the only one. It's not enough for them to be normal, kind of shitty people in bad circumstances, they gotta go through the meatgrinder! Audrey HAD to kill her husband, he was an abusive monster and probably going to kill her first! Dismas was just a hungwy boy! Boudica was a dumb teen and also didn't run away without a fight! It's not enough for Alhazred to live with Space Satan inside his head because of his ill-advised search for power, he's got to have dead friends to be sad about! Sexual repression, humiliation and banishment aren't enough for Junia, she's got to be tortured for days and see all her friends and acquaintances die in one of the most horrific ways!

Sometimes even their personalities seem to have been overwritten. Para's morbid obsessions and general lack of ethics are lot more subdued. Sarmenti isn't a overtly violent and secretly depressed clown, he's more about his music than anything. Dismas' isn't hiding a heart under 10 layers of whiskey, sarcasm and false confidence, he's just sort of sour. And boring.

And somehow the exception to all this blorbofication is Damian who goes from "miserable guy who gets a few too many screws lose and joins a cult" to... a fucking torturer. Which is never addressed in a meaningful way because *key jingling noise* LOOK A FIGHT WITH DEATH that's more interesting, right? Dude has three completely different beats to his backstory and none of them lead to any satisfying conclusion or unifying theme.

Did they forget this is the guy who was eager and willing to give himself to the Heart of Darkness as the ultimate sacrifice? Why is he denying death now? Where did the religious motivation of his pain obsession go? Did he just knock at St Martha's dressed as a beggar and ask if they were hiring torturers? What did he do that got him kicked out by people who think branding children is ok? Why does a convent have a dedicated torturer on the payroll anyway? Are we just going to forget that Junia beat him with a stick? Now everyone's buddies? What? What's happening here? Why is Death less trouble than an Examplar?

I'm not opposed to Damian being shown as a dick, I'm sure he is one given his belief system but please, for the love of god, tell ONE story and make it coherent.

Which brings us back to Junia. How the hell does the end of her shrines connects to her now? If she was condemned and never absolved by authority, just knocked out her jailer and made a run for it, why does she have Vestal armor and act as a member of the Church? Who even let her leave? Why isn't there a bounty on her head? What authoritarian religious authority would have let a heretic that says the Light told her it was ok to fuck run amok? It was more important to end her story on a shock twist than to have it make sense, so we jut don't know.

On the topic of adding shit for the sake of it: why wasn't it enough to have Sarmenti be a normal guy pushed too far by a bunch of asshole nobles? What exactly does the evil magic song add to it? If he has to have something to regret about the whole thing, why not just add innocent victims to his rampage? Or have him do questionable things in his despair to never be trapped again? Again, write ONE story well instead of adding incrongruent shit that looks cool!

And I'm gonna go out and say it... I'm not the biggest Reynauld fan in this fandom, not by a FAR shot. I think he's an interesting dude. And of course he'll have a special place in player's minds as one of the dd1 starters. But that shit at the end? Unnecessary spit in the eye for anyone who gave a damn. If you were hoping for him to show up in the game, I don't know how you'd read this besides "lol fuck you he's DEAD and also not fucking important".

When I first heard about something involving him at the end of the game I was accepting. Sure, he'll turn out to have been devoured by the Heart of Darkness and show up as a surprise part of the end boss, right? Tragic and painful, but not a bad end for him story-wise! It would have been the sort of cruel twist I'd have expected from Darkest Dungeon. It takes the character and does something interesting with him! What better to represent our ultimate failure than reminding the characters and the player of everyone we sacrificed in the first game? If he's going to be dead, it might as well mean something.

But nope. He's. Not there. Not even as a grave. His fucking helmet is lying around and used as a candlestick. Apparently by Dismas, who of course has no reason to give a fuck. The hell, man.

And the overall arc? I was so there for it. Redemption, failure, struggle against impossible odds, one must imagine Sisyphus being happy, that's my jam. But as it turns out, it was a straightforward hero story. Sure, there's the sting that the darkness in people's hearts will show up again and bla bla bla, but that's standard fare too. The hopeless struggle wasn't at all hopeless, you just had to kill the big monster. Which fixes things because... I don't know, cosmic therapy? A wizard did it? Where did the cultists go? The fanatics? What about the Heart of Darkness, why is it just chilling with all the blood that's been spilled? I get that they wanted to write something more hopeful, but to sweep aside all the worldbuilding that suggests that it shouldn't be this easy feels cheap and unrewarding. I expected some sort of twist, a terrible cost that is worth it regardless.

What I got was a candlestick helmet.

#darkest dungeon 2 spoilers #this is just venting #you haven't seen the last of me #there's plenty of salt left

8 notes · View notes