#Substack success

[mehmetyildizmelbourne-blog]

An Interview with Yana G. Y. to Inspire Freelance Writers

Yana shows that you don’t have to be famous or a full-time writer to be a Substack Bestseller. Dear Readers and Freelance Writers, As you may know, I have interviewed writers since 2019, reflecting on their experiences and insights in spotlight stories. It is a valuable tool and an absolute pleasure for me to introduce inspiring creators to my audience. Every writer has an interesting life…

[mummer]

just implemented a paid subscription option on my substack because im a SELLOUT just kidding it has no advantages all my posts will still be public forever but if you want to give me money for no reason you can do that now

[lettersxcaffeine]

You can’t rush what times time and commitment to build, but you can put in time to guarantee that you’re building. 

[foxmulderautism]

one niche weird thing about reading for a litmag is the more online flash/micro fiction i've read the more i've found specific writers that i really admire or at least i can recognise their name when i see them published in litmags. and sometimes they'll they show up in the queue and it's like oh i'm really inspired by this writer and their skill but now i'm on the side where i read and analyse and vote on their submission. and my impostor syndrome is like what the hell

[strangebiology]

Success is Dependent on Secret Information

A lot of career success depends on you and the work you put into it, as well as luck beyond your control, but sadly, it also depends on secret information, magic words, and stupid little tricks.

That's not fair. I don't like it, but we can help by sharing that secret information--which is the antidote to gate-keeping. That's why I recently wrote this in my Authors of Nonfiction Books in Progress substack:

It can be really disheartening to realize that, when you thought you failed at something because you didn't do well enough, other people had the magic words. For instance, some injustices I've witnessed (that may or may not always be the case, or maybe not anymore!) include:

A good athletic score doesn't get you into a college sport--having a coach or parent talk to the college coach is mandatory

Many school-sponsored scholarships are often not tightly linked to grades, test scores, or financial need, but whether the student said the right words ("I can't afford that") to the right person (presumably some financial office person.)

Apparently, some aspects of some degrees are cheated on by most students (if that's the case, we should tell all students that it's ok to cheat on that so they don't waste their time on something that apparently wasn't important anyway, or worse, fail out just for being ethical.)

Especially related to books: Few people will mention that you can get grants! Not my agent, not my publisher, not the 1 zillion "pros and cons of trad publishing" articles out there mentioned grants (Grant eligibility is a HUGE benefit of trad publishing.) I got more money from grants than my entire book advance!

Let me know what magic words/secret knowledge you've learned, that you wish you knew sooner. Or: the widespread understanding of what information would make a field more fair?

And please share ANBIP with anyone writing, publishing, or seriously about to start writing, a nonfiction non-memoir book, especially if they're interested in the more practical side (I share more about resources and strategy than craft.)

[anettrolikova]

Failure should punctuate a strong track record A rich person says, “I struggled a lot. Now, I’m here doing this cool thing.”

A broke person says, “I struggled a lot. Actually I’m still struggling.”

One makes you think, “What a rags to riches story. I’m so inspired.” The other makes you feel sad. You don’t want to be vulnerable at the expense of your ultimate goal, which at work, is generally about inspiring confidence in your abilities—so your startup gets funded, so you get hired, so your manager trusts you more.

Let’s say you’re a candidate interviewing for roles. Over-emphasizing failure makes you seem like a risky hire. The hiring manager thinks, Wow, I appreciate that they shared this, but it was kind of a poor judgment call, they missed obvious signs, and the expensive mistake probably could have been avoided altogether. Maybe we should pick another candidate who has better judgment. Failure can be perceived as a pattern match or a pattern break. Startups have to tow the line between simultaneously playing up aspects that make them the underdog (because they’re clearly not Google and can’t hide this) AND playing up that they are proven, trusted, the go-to, reliable, stable, etc (elements of the favorite) so customers are willing to take a chance. If you’re the challenger, not the default, you’re already deemed risky. When in doubt, show why you're the winning team to counterbalance.

People want to read about your failures if they deem you a success. If you’re talking about failure, remember to share a few points of credibility, so you give folks a reason to want to learn from you. If you're going to share widely-make sure you're sharing from your scars, not your open wounds. Love Warrior is intensely personal, but it's not a diary.

I started turning it into a memoir two years after it all happened, and I had enough distance to look at all of it somewhat objectively. 

If you’re still in the midst of struggle, talking about your failure can look like a cry for help. And most companies don’t want to hire a content marketer or product manager who seems like they’re in the middle of crisis.

[mzannthropy]

I think it was also the format. Journal entries, letters, newspaper clippings, and bc of all of that happened in real time, people felt as if they were on that journey with the characters.

Was talking to a fellow English major about why exactly did Dracula daily get so popular? Like some people tried to like do it for other novels/works after the success of Dracula daily like Frankenstein weekly but it didn't like get as much traction.

I have a theory. The combination of vampires and poor little meow meow characters. Is it the timing of it? Is it the characters? But honestly I'm so curious as to what everyone thinks. I need to do an experiment.

[dashcon-two]

Volunteering, Virtual Dash, and Various Other Happenings!

Hey y’all!

Buckle up, we’ve got a bit of everything in this one.

Volunteer Applications!

We’re excited to say that volunteer applications for DashCon 2 are now open! You can apply to our form here (https://forms.gle/aaBjd9eSGZBsARBE7), or find out more on our website (https://www.dashcontwo.com/volunteering/). Our convention relies on volunteer staff to keep everything running smoothly, and there’s plenty of work to go around. We’re really glad to have received interest from so many of y’all, so applications will be open until we’ve filled all of our positions.

All regular volunteers will be assigned to at least one 4-hour shift between 7 AM and 11:30 PM on July 5th, 2025. Volunteers who complete their shift, or otherwise work 4 or more hours, will get free access to the con for the rest of the day.

Successful applicants will be required to sign a waiver to volunteer for the convention. Applicants who are under 18 years old must have a parent or guardian sign their waiver.

What about Virtual DashCon?

We appreciate all of the feedback we got after our announcement post last week! We’re happy to say that we’re going ahead with our plans for a virtual convention! However, considering how many of you were enthusiastic about the concept of virtual dash, we’d like to address a common question!

Why would a virtual con cost money? Because it costs money to run! We’re partnering with Live Media to ensure that the live-streamed panels, pit, and duel will run smoothly. We want to make our convention as accessible as possible, we’ve received hundreds of messages from people who couldn’t get a ticket, but we just don’t have the resources or expertise to run a virtual event with volunteers alone. Even with a professional live-streaming team, we’ll need to organize moderators for the official server, vet digital panellists, and all the other administrative work that comes with a virtual event. DashCon 2 is going down in history one way or another, but we’ll be damned if we don’t get good footage for the next generation of documentarians.

We’ll also donate 15% of every ticket to the Canadian Cancer Society! That’s 15% of the total price of the tickets, not the profits. You can learn more about our fundraiser here, and donate directly to our campaign on the Canadian Cancer Society’s website.

Drag at DashCon 2!

DashCon 2 is excited to announce that we’ll be featuring a spectacular showcase of talented drag performers! Performers will be lipsyncing, dancing, and generally serving, to the tune of such classics as How Bad Can I Be? We’re happy to say that we have two confirmed drag artists: Heaven/Hellish Lee (@heaven_lee_court.hellish_lee) and Pandora’s Box Muncher (@pandorasboxmuncher), both on Instagram! They are both incredibly talented - please check out their work and give them some love :)

We hope to announce a few additional performers before the day of the con, so stay tuned!

If you’re an interested local performer: please feel free to reach out to us directly at activities@dashcontwo.com with a link to your website/social(s), a few example photos, and what sort of performance you’d like to give. Portfolios may contain 18+ content, but performances at DashCon 2 must be appropriate for ages 13+.

LVLUP Board Game Room

We’re happy to remind you all that DashCon 2 will have a board game room, kindly sponsored by LVLUP Games! A quick FYI: while they will be providing board games of all sorts, they will not be providing TTRPG materials, dice, or DMs, so you’ll have to BYOD (Bring Your Own Dice). There must be at least a few dice goblins in our audience who have collections to show off.

As always, you can find more information on our website or follow us on Substack!

[luigilore]

oh PLS tell me your thoughts about inexperienced luigi whenever possible,,,,🙏🙏

omg ofc okay sorry this took a sec and is also just me rambling BUT

luigi would be so earnestly excited to have a girlfriend and it's YOU! is always like ive never been able to do this before' whenever ur doing coupley things and he loves it.... it's always 'my girlfriend' like yeah he is obsessed with dropping that in convos

i think he would get jealous so easily idk like he is NOT sharing sorry! he loves his girlfriend a lot.

okay inexperienced... in that sense... i cant even imagine how much he would lose his mind the first time you suck him off like actually couldn't compute, would accidentally pull your hair a bit too tight... not that u totally mind...

is rambling out an apology and is cut off by his own moan when u suck harder like shut up babe <3

would cum so fucking fast lol like he's actually embarrassed the first few times you guys have sex... esp when u ride him

and lovesss when you ride him like he used to dream of times like this fr

his fav position is missionary tho he just loves how intimate and loving it is... he likes any position where you guys are face to face... but looks down at you with sm love in his eyes like

mouth agape at you shirtless for the first time like please lol. dont even start on any frilly, pretty, cute lingerie luigi would die

his hands shake a little... just a bit! when he's undoing ur bra for the first time and touching your boobs; he'd be so tentative and shy so ur'd be like ... "ur my bf they're urs" 🤗 and luigi is like :0 "you can't just say stuff like that" lmfao

his hands are soooo big like shut up. "anything you do will feel good," you'd reassure him with a sweet smile and you're very right like it's so easy for him to curl/hook his fingers inside of you does that make sense? idk it just feels GOOD whenever he touches, wherever he touches you tbh

a very enthusiastic learner like genuinely is on substack researching feminine pleasure and buying sm different books... you come over one day to him reading that 'come as you are' book and you're like ? lol okay thank you baby

omg library study dates... imagine just like putting you hand on his thigh while you guys are working and he's looking at you like... babe... baby.. um :) like that's enough for him to be totally distracted like gl getting any actual work done after that

pleasuring you is very important to him it's like a game/challenge/hyperfixation for him to like he's a perfectionist he doesn't like not being good at something and yes that applies to sex like shut up

would be blushing at you offhandedly mentioning u have a vibrator... then asks to see it... will eventually work up the courage to ask to use it on you lol

would be sooo loud.. is aware of this and tries to not be... but is never quite that successful

luigi would be such a soft baby after sex like sorry like it's so physically intimate and that goes hand in hand with emotional intimacy to him and he'd just want to hold his GIRLFRIEND in his arms <333

[mehmetyildizmelbourne-blog]

Why I Joined Substack: A New Chapter in Supporting My Readers

Welcoming the Value of Repurposing Content Across Platforms Throughout my career, I faced the challenge of reaching an audience for my scientific work. Simplifying complex issues for the public was difficult, and finding readers for these simplified messages was even harder. As researchers, our primary outlets were scientific papers in peer-reviewed journals, and writing for trade journals was…

[grahamkennedy]

I've said this before but sometimes I see some people complain about their media related hyperfixations or special interests having no new content and I'm like, you could afford to be more intellectually curious, actually. It would provide enrichment in your enclosure.

You can't live off New Content(TM) and fan fiction alone, if you think your interest now feels empty and unfulfilling and there's an Obsession Shaped Hole in your heart, it might be that your interest is waning, sure. But it might also mean that you need to dig deeper, have some fun with it.

Read, watch, listen to interviews by cast and crew, read reviews, read ESSAYS (media studies is an ever increasing academic field, people are writing about your favourite shows all the time). Read different forums, not just Tumblr, and engage with differing opinions, not just your own. Don't just write fan fiction, write a think piece for Substack. Find out more about the historical, political and societal context which inspired the work. I originally became obsessed with the comedian Graham Kennedy (my current special interest) because I was in the off season of The Newsreader, a show set in an Australian newsroom in th 1980s, and I decided to learn more about Australian television history to take up my time.

"I'm sad Succession is over" so am I, and it's no longer my special interest, though I still love it. But instead of sitting around waiting for the Kenstewy tag to update, go to Academia dot edu and see if anyone's written an essay on your blorbo. Go to Substack or Medium and peruse old think pieces from back when the media was still airing and see if the theories hold up.

Maybe I take this attitude because so many of my hyperfixations and special interests (including my latest) have been historical figures or creators where the "content" is in books or essays or archival footage, but you can afford to be more adventurous. If you really love the thing, and you can't let it go, maybe you need more than fan art of your faves kissing.

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon !

I just listened to your newest YouTube reading of your Substack and it made me realize that I have a different understanding than you of Sizhen’s gender framework, or perhaps am still developing my understanding of it.

You describe yourself in the piece as, through failing to join the Power gender, a Faggot-Subaltern. Other writings of yours describe experiencing some social privilege of having been perceived as masculine, and we both agree that our transmisogyny-exempt status renders us by average safer than our TMA siblings. In my understanding of Sizhen’s framework, this would render you closer to the Not-Power gender category, making transition something of a lateral move: away from Some misogyny but towards transphobia. Or, rather, in different gender categories depending on the power systems that be: given some power in comparison to TMA folks, recognized socially at times as an ally to other Not-Power folks against the subaltern of the transfem, but an otherwise marginalized category that is used as a threat to those within the cisgender hierarchy. Perhaps this perspective of conditionality is not the purpose of the framework; I’d like to hear what you think.

This also made me think about other scenarios where marginalized gendered folks engage in respectability politics - transmeds, transandrobros, and the like. Would you describe them as claiming Not-Power status against a Faggot-Subaltern for profit, safety, and success? Or is their ultimate failure in doing so a sign that they are in fact Faggot-Subaltern?

Thanks for reading !

I would say that the 'Not-Power' category is, predominately in our society, the category that cis women are relegated to and enjoy certain privileges within, and my trans masculinity doesn't slot me into that category so much as expel me from it. I was in not-Power when I was moving through the world as more or less a cishet woman. As a man, I'm theoretically aligning myself with the Power category, and my masculine qualities often afford me a lot of the privileges that come with being in the Power category, at least relative to those around me (I have always worked in fields filled with women, queer people, and men of color, and so I can access the privileges of white manhood relative to them). However, I'm also someone people yell "faggot" at on the street who cannot pass as a straight man for more than a thirty second interaction. And it's abundantly clear in how other men and cis women relate to me that I'm faggotized, as the sizhen system post talks about. If you're in the faggot subaltern, you pretty well know it, and I know it immediately in the way other men physically relate to me. It's a mix of condescending feminization, dehumanization, and imparsability that's very distinct. (it's hot as fuck when it's some big burly masc guy throwing my over his shoulder and dragging me home at the gay bar, and even kind of cute when it's a straight man in line at the walgreens smelling my hair, but not so cute when i'm alone on a train platform at night and a crowd of drunk Cubs fans is approaching.)

I am notably LESS safe in a lot of straight spaces now than i ever was as a cis woman, because I'm not in Not-Power, I'm in Faggot Subaltern, and everybody can see it a mile away. I stand out as not belonging and not following the rules of either pre-determined gender category ("powerful" men and 'not-powerful" women) and there is a looming threat that comes with this, and that's what defines being in the faggot subaltern. as you can see i dont see this stuff as fully categorical, but rather contextual. depending on the situation i have both privilege and a lot of vulnerability, and that's true of a lot of feminine gay men.

[hiscalliope]

i hope luigi knows the impact he's had on adults like myself who have navigated their entire adult lives thus far knowing they're neurodivergent/struggling with mental illness and perhaps are afraid/unsure of how to get diagnosed.

seeing another person, a person considered "successful" by societal standards (with both a bacehlors and masters before the age of 25), openly admit that mental battles were being waged in his mind when the people around him were none the wiser, has such a profound impact. i hope he one day understands this. looking at substack articles for tips for neurodivergent individuals as if looking to see if he fit the bill, potentially gearing up to seeking a diagnosis, its something that makes me feel seen as someone who has always been anxious and that anxiety caused me to make decisions (or not make decisions) that snowballed into depression.

just humans trying to seek answers as to why they are the way they are or why they feel the way they feel.

he's managed to specifically connect with people who don't have their shit figured out the slightest, who feel absolutely lost in a world where neurodivergence can often be an isolating experience, who are watching life go by without a single clue as to how to take the stirring wheel and take control.

so i thank god that i've gotten to know the name luigi mangione, for being a human that taught me that even those who have everything seemingly figured may not after all and that's okay.

[kenyatta]

Kanakia isn’t the only one playing with fiction on Substack. The National Book Award winner Sherman Alexie posts fiction, poetry, and essays on his Substack, and Chuck Palahniuk (of “Fight Club” fame) serialized a novel on his. The renowned Israeli author Etgar Keret (who, like Alexie, is a frequent contributor to this magazine) posts fiction on his Substack. Rick Moody, one of the most critically acclaimed and commercially successful literary authors of his generation, recently published a nearly twenty-thousand-word “non-fiction novella” on the Mars Review of Books Substack, and the Times columnist Ross Douthat has, since September, been using the platform to publish “The Falcon’s Children,” a fantasy novel, at the rate of a chapter per week. This is to say nothing of the many names—including George Saunders, Mary Gaitskill, Catherine Lacey, and Elif Batuman—who have popular Substacks where they publish nonfiction about literature and life. These are writers who already enjoy considerable levels of professional success and are using Substack to experiment with new styles, build direct connections with their readers, or make a few bucks selling premium-tier subscriptions to their biggest fans. On the other end of the spectrum are passionate amateurs who post stories, serialize novels-in-progress, commiserate about the joys and agonies of writing, talk smack about the literary establishment, and cheer one another on. In the middle sit writers who have, like Kanakia, acquired some of the markers of professional success without becoming names. Their outputs are a mélange of the passion and experimentalism of the amateurs with the polish and ambition of the pros, and they often possess a briskness that feels shaped by an awareness that an endless selection of other stories is mere clicks away.

- Is the Next Great American Novel Being Published on Substack? New Yorker

[dolphin-diaries]

A Conversation With Lucy Kartikasari

An interview with a fellow detrans woman and activist about her experience. Originally posted on the Dolphin Diaries substack.

Dolphin Diaries: Would you introduce yourself and describe how you identify?

Lucy Kartikasari: Hi! My name is Lucy Kartikasari. I’m twenty-eight years old, I live in the Netherlands and I would label myself as a queer, bisexual detrans woman. Aside from my normal day job, I’m an online activist for LGBTQ rights with a focus on community-building between trans and detrans people. I feel like that is very sorely needed in today’s political climate.

So, when people think of detrans people, they usually think about the medical aspects of transition first and foremost. You were a teenager when you started transitioning, and you went through the Dutch transition procedure, is that correct?

Right, that is correct. I was twelve when I started my social transition and sixteen when I started my medical transition.

What has that experience been like?

My experience of it as a teen was marked by long waiting lists—which are still part of trans healthcare in the Netherlands today. After I came out to my parents, we went to our GP, and then I spent about three and a half years on a waitlist before I could even start the diagnostic portion of the transition process. It’s all been quite gatekeep-y.

But at the same time, I don’t think the psychologists involved really understood transition and what might motivate someone like me to do it. For me specifically, the root of my transition was the idea that I’d be a failure as a woman. I couldn’t be that beautiful, thin, hairless doll. So I remember the doctors asking me, have I considered if I could just be a masculine woman? And, no. I don’t think this way anymore, obviously, but back then, for me being a masculine woman also meant being a failure. Anything less than picture-perfect cisheteronormativity was not good enough. So I felt like, I may as well be a man. And I don’t think they understand what that kind of trauma looks like.

So, based on the kinds of questions they were asking you, what do you think they were trying to screen you for?

I think, besides asking if I was just a masculine woman, they were trying to screen for things like sexual trauma. But mostly it was, like, what makes you not want to be a woman? And I would say, well, it’s my body parts. I had a lot of negative thoughts about having extra fat on my body—you know, growing up in a half-Asian household, fatphobia is very common. Only thin women can be successful, and if you’re not under fifty kilos, you’re not thin enough. And so I had a lot of negative feelings about that and my breasts in particular. Just very disinterested in having them, very unhappy with them. And I didn’t really want to be a woman, so I was like, well if I want to live as a man, I should have a flat chest, a penis, and so on. And so, because I was so dissatisfied with my body and with my breasts especially, that assured them it was really gender dysphoria. I don’t think they really understood my cultural context, either.

Would you say it was like, the doctors were aware that women might have bodily insecurities, but surely, if you were really a woman, you wouldn’t hate it that badly?

Exactly. And while I was on the waitlist, I was in therapy, but I was never in therapy with someone who specialised in gender dysphoria. They just looked at me and went, well, let’s wait four years and see if the child still wants to transition. So what happened was, I spent all that time presenting as a boy, at the time that my identity was really crystalising, between the ages of twelve and fifteen. So by the time it came to doing the diagnostics, I was already like, yeah I’m a boy, there’s nothing else to it. I’m a dude.

So it sounds like, since you had to wait so long, you weren’t really coming to a psychologist to help you with figuring out your transness? You just came there specifically to transition?

Yeah. When I first came out, it was to my dad, and I wasn’t sure then. I just said, I think I’m a boy. What would’ve been helpful for me at the time was if someone would’ve sat down with me and helped me untangle my feelings, why I was so insecure about the idea of growing up as a woman, why the trappings of a female body were so traumatising to me. Why I had so many of these weird issues of, like, my bones being too big, my wrists not being small enough. Because I was just like: I don’t want to fail, I don’t want to be bad at this; I may as well do something I’ll be good at.

So that time you spent living as a boy while not being able to access medical transition—how did that affect you?

I felt like I was a victim of my own biology. I felt like, if I was on testosterone, at least some of this fat would be muscle. I know it’s a lot of fatphobia—don’t get me wrong, I’m a gym girl now, I know you don’t have to be on T for that. But I’m still working very hard to deconstruct all these things. Back then, I looked at my unclothed body with revulsion, and I felt like a masculine body would be so much better than whatever I had going on. Going through life as a boy while simultaneously being so disgusted with myself—it was just so much easier to exist in places where I didn’t have to be physically present, like online. I learned to detach my personality from my physicality, to disassociate.

Has that affected your experience with detransition?

Well, I’m twenty-eight now. My adolescence was a long time ago at this point, so it can be hard to reconnect with the way I used to feel back then. But that ability to disconnect from my body has actually made it easier to cope with my bodily insecurities now, too. Because it’s like, even if I feel horrible, even if I were to devolve into some sort of horrific creature physically, I know I’d still be me in my mind, no matter what.

And have you needed to access gender-affirming care as a detrans woman?

Yeah, I’ve had a total hysterectomy, so I’m reliant on oestrogen HRT for the rest of my life. I have had laser hair removal on my face, since the growth there was bothering me quite a lot. And I’ve been planning to undergo breast reconstruction and a treatment for the scarring on my chest.

In terms of access to gender-affirming healthcare for detransition as an adult, what’s been your experience?

As an adult, I found that there really are no protocols in place for detransition—like, they just don’t think about it at all. Some of my interactions with healthcare professionals have been quite callous. For example, when I first approached my doctor about switching my hormones, one of the first things he said to me was, You know it’s actually really rare for people to do this. And I was kind of like, well of course it’s rare. But how is that supposed to help me now?

One of the other things I had to do is wait. I took my last dose of testosterone in September 2022, and I only got to start oestrogen in December 2022.

So that’s like, months with low sex hormones across the board?

Yeah, it crashed pretty quickly. October, I wasn’t feeling great; November, menopausal symptoms were starting to kick in. It was starting to affect my day job. Thank goodness, the company doctor was an older woman, so I just explained to her my detransition and said, look, I don’t have hormones in my body right now. And she understood.

So, for November and January, I was actually experiencing menopausal symptoms for the second time in my life. Because I’ve also been on hormone blockers and nothing else when I was sixteen. There’s some comedy there, menopause at sixteen and then again at twenty-six. Now I look back at it and laugh, but at the time it was obviously horrific.

As for the social aspect of detransitioning, I didn’t really want to tell people about it because I was essentially stealth in a lot of places, especially my professional life. So people in the workplace would see me and interpret me as a trans woman all of a sudden. To be fair, I was working in data engineering, so I think everyone was just looking at me and being like, yep, makes sense.

This dovetails into my next question: what has it been like, outside of online and queer spaces, to live as a detrans woman?

It’s been kind of a mixed bag. I think my greatest concern, or fear, or whatever you want to call it, has been triggering people’s transmisogyny, because they assume I’m a trans woman. I’ve had instances where I, like, went out partying and approached a guy, and then that guy found my Instagram. He saw my they/she/he pronouns, heard my voice. And then he was just like, You used to be a man. And we’re in the middle of a dance floor, I’m not giving him my entire gender history. At that particular club, I was with my sister and knew the security, so I knew I’d be safe if something went down, but it was scary. Dating in general is strange, intensely uncomfortable and scary. I just have to throw my entire story out there, because otherwise it’s like, what’s up with these chest scars? And you know, with single-sex spaces, I go to the changing rooms in the gym with my sister, because I’m scared that, if I speak a word, there will be a problem. Legally I’m still male and I have a traditionally masculine name, so I run into issues because of that, too.

When it comes to my friends and family, however, they’ve been really good. I’ve been so lucky. And I think it’s also because I’ve been so open about my transition and everything that went into it, that people were like, well, Lucy, we love you no matter what. It’s all good; if you want to detransition, that’s fine; if you want to retransition later, that’s also fine. There’s only one exception to that, and it’s my mum. She struggled a lot with my transition in the beginning, so it was quite hard to tell her. Even to this day, I think she still has issues with the fact I want to be a mother, in part because it will cost me a lot of money. So I waited until, like, four months on E to tell her, surprise, I’m your daughter again.

I also worry about certain expectations being put on me again, like the way I need to look, act, sound. But I feel like that’s kind of just being a woman in society, unfortunately.

Have you ever worried about coming out as detrans and unintentionally confirming people’s worst suspicions about trans people?

I find that the one way I combat this is, just by openly stating that this is my experience—I really emphasise that. If you want to take my story and run with it, I can’t really stop that. But I try to be really emphatic of my support for trans people, of my trans friends, even if it’s a little silly. Like, I still do the testosterone shots for my best friend, who’s a trans guy; I’m friends with trans girls; I’m still very much in community with trans people. When I say this so often, it might come across to other queer people as performative—but that’s the point, I need to do this performance when I talk to cis people who really don’t get it. For whom I’m just a confirmation of their worst instincts.

So what has being detrans been like for you in queer circles?

In my local communities in the Netherlands, because I’ve been involved with activism, it’s really fine as I’ve made a name for myself in being very pro-trans rights. Overall, it’s been good.

Were you involved in activism before you detransitioned, also?

I only really got involved in activism as a detrans person. Before that, I felt like there were so many people much more eloquent than me, people who already have huge followings—what could I possibly add to the conversation? But then, about six months after detransitioning, I found a tweet by Oli London [about detransition], and that was a catalyst. I thought, I need to do something about this. I figured that I could add way more to the conversation about being detrans and in community with trans people than anything else.

What would you say are trans people’s attitudes about detransition and detrans people?

I think it really depends on the age. I feel like, the younger you go, the more vitriolic the hatred towards detrans people. Young people and especially teenagers are very prone to black-and-white thinking. I think—and this is going to be controversial—that the trans kids who are incredibly vitriolic towards detrans people are the ones who are most likely to detransition later down the line, because they do not give any room for their doubts and might be reacting this way because they’re hiding something away. But generally, I’d say the older you get, the more someone has been in community with other trans and queer people, the more likely they are to look at your experience in a nuanced way. At least that’s what I observe with my followers. The only exception is—and I know this comes from a place of pain—some trans women who really hate detrans women, because they see it as squandering the gift of natural-born femininity. Like, you had this, I want it and I can’t have it—and you just threw it away.

When you describe your experience to trans people, do they recognise it as a detrans experience? Or is it usually the first time they hear something like that in regards to detransition?

I think it’s usually new to them in that context. I think the only detransition content they’ve encountered before was, let’s face it, Christofascist white nationalist content. Let’s just call a spade a spade. So the fact they’re hearing someone empathetic to trans people, who wants them to have adequate healthcare, job opportunities, everything—that’s new. They’re very quick to rip into certain well-known right-wing detransitioners, but when they respond to me with hate because I’m detrans and I just shrug it off, that kind of defangs it.

On a broader scale, would you say that detransitioning impacted the way you think about gender and sex?

Being a detrans woman just made me realise—it’s all the same thing. It’s always sexism, misogyny; it’s always hatred of the feminine, the unmet expectations of the feminine, failing to be a woman. I don’t understand how people like Chloe Cole and Prisha and whoever else can be like this, because you know they’ll treat you just the same as a trans woman. You’ll get lumped in when the chips are down. There’s so much more to gain in accepting gender fluidity, in community.

What would you say are the biggest challenges to detrans people right now?

I think it’s the fact that the organisations that have been founded supposedly to help us always have ulterior motives. For instance, I have a Brazilian detrans friend, and she complains to me it’s all very Jesus-saved-us there. I’m Australian, so I need to get all paperwork changes through the Australian government, and the only organisation that cares about detransition there is the LGB Alliance. Then you look at the US, and it’s Genspect. These organisations are usually Christofascist. So yeah, there’s never anything that offers a structured way of helping detrans people without that agenda. That would sort out your documents and your healthcare.

So what I’m surmising is, when detrans people need help with legal gender marker change or gender-affirming healthcare access, the only option they see available to them are those right-wing organisations?

Right. We need to take that power away from them.

I very much agree. Lastly, in your opinion, do detrans issues tie in with any broader issues right now?

I think a lot of the things relevant to detrans women tie in with general women’s issues. For instance, speaking as a detrans woman that has been sterilised, there’s reproductive healthcare. The Right has this chokehold on conversations of fertility; they talk about how you’ll never breastfeed, never have babies if you take T for too long, and so on. It’s about reproductive rights and control over everyone who has the capacity to bear children. And of course, there’s trans rights and the encroachment of transphobia. The Right wants to construct a very specific view of gender, of women, and in part they use detrans women to do that.

Lucy Kartikasari can be found over on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, and Threads. She creates content about her transition and detransition as well as trans and detrans solidarity. Find her other links here.

[facelessoldgargoyle]

god ok I’ve been reading aella’s public substack. I have a lot of faith in her expertise bc she’s a polyamorous slut who also worked as a camgirl and an escort. she’s also a spreadsheet nerd, and her surveys about kinks and taboos have gone viral, so she has a lot of data to work with. She’s also saying the most bonkers shit

I loved the idea that there were strategies men could use to make me want to have sex with them. I really wanted to have sex, but often had this stupid gatekeeper thing in my brain that would shut down and prevent me from getting sex. Teaching men to do a magical series of moves that would manage to circumvent my gatekeeper and help get me laid was a wonderful thing, and I advised my male friends to try it.

…

I view sex as a success for both of us, and thus seduction is a collaborative activity. We both want the same thing: to get around my annoying brain gatekeeper that got installed there by eons of evolution that doesn’t understand birth control and is trying to evaluate if you’re worthy of impregnating me. So please—use seduction techniques on me. Roleplay as an alpha male well enough to trick my vagina into believing that your cum will give me alpha sons.

Like??? Ok, to be fair, she specified at the beginning that this series of posts was for straight men who were into women who bottom, so this isn’t supposed to apply to me. But are straight women really out here living like this????

I guess if you have a horrible monkey on your back that works against your own interest in sex, then it’s useful to view seduction as instrumental, a useful tool. I do agree with/enjoy the idea of seduction as collaborative. But fuck dude, have you considered getting rid of the monkey?

Maybe I’m too hot for this post. Actually getting laid is easy. Seduction is just something fun to do while you’re still hanging out at the bar.