#T-cell dysfunction

[dollfacefantasy]

can't get started ♡

older bf!logan howlett x fem!reader

logan can't get it up one night and is humiliated. but that just means he'll have to prove he can still satisfy you.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, daddy kink, age gap (reader in 20s)

a/n: the part in dpw where he said he's got whiskey dick with the claws turned me on too much tbh

This had never happened to Logan before.

That wasn't a lie he was telling you to make himself look less pathetic. It wasn't an affirmation he repeated in his own head to feel like he was still hot shit. It was the truth. One he would swear to on anything.

He'd never had a problem getting it up before.

Not with you, not with anyone. He thought the healing factor made him immune to whiskey dick or any kind of down-there dysfunction. But apparently not. Because the two of you finally had some time alone after being amidst the chaos of the mansion all day and his body was stalling.

The second he had the bedroom door shut, you were dragging him over to the bed and climbing into his lap. You were doing everything like usual. Your lips pressed against his, and then moved to his jawline and down his neck. Your hands glided across the firm muscles of his chest. Your hips rolled down against his lap, beckoning the appendage between his legs to reciprocate your desire.

But it just wouldn't. He tried to make it because it wasn't a matter of not wanting you. He wanted you bad. 

He grabs your chin and brings your lips back up to his mouth so he can communicate his passion wordlessly. He digs his fingers into your hips, feeling the beginnings of where your flesh swells into your ass. He envisions how you'd been prancing around the whole day, cute tits pushing against the fabric of your t-shirt and calling out for him to grab.

You're so soft and warm. The little mewls that leave your lips sound like calls of angels up above. It doesn't matter though. His cock had clocked out for the night.

"God damnit," he grumbles before brushing you off his lap and bringing his fist down against the mattress. He sighs and his head hangs.

He can already sense the look on your face. Worry, hesitation, and affection swirling into one humiliating look. He feels your hand find his shoulder, the touch tender and accepting.

"It's ok, Logan. We don't have to," you say. Your tone is so soft and gentle, and it just drives him fucking nuts.

"But you want to," he says and looks over at you. The look in your eyes kills him. He knows you don't mean it, but it looks so patronizing. As if he's an old dog about to be taken out back and old yeller'd.

"Yeah but I don't want you to force yourself. We can just cuddle," you offer, sweet as can be.

"It's not forcing, I want to do this. I want you so bad," he says and cups your cheek. He pulls you back onto his lap and nuzzles your neck. "Been thinking about this all day."

You let out a little sigh as he lays some kisses on the column of your throat, and that gives him a spark of hope. Maybe he can do this. Maybe he doesn't have to be put out to pasture just yet. The two of you make out and grind and feel each other up some more. But eventually your tits are all but in his face and his dick still doesn't have a pulse.

He huffs and pulls back. 'Fuck, I'm sorry, sweetheart," he says.

You watch him, the gleam in your eyes as adoring as ever. It was the same look you gave him when you'd have to explain a basic function of a cell phone to him.

"It's ok. You don't have to be embarrassed," you reassure and lean in to peck his cheek.

He groans and gently brushes you off. "Don't. I don't need you coddling me."

"I'm just saying. I understand," you say with conviction, hands splaying on your chest to physically convey your empathy, "It happens to lots of guys when they get older. You don't have to be ashamed of it with me."

And in that moment, he wishes he didn't have his mutation so he could just die on the spot from being utterly mortified. He'd actually have preferred if you laughed in his face and called him an old man. A sad, old, perverted fuck who decided to date some half his age even though he couldn't keep up with her appetite. If you'd told him you were gonna find someone who could satisfy you, it probably would've stung less than being talked to like a patient who doesn't know their cancer is terminal.

There was no chance in hell, you'd ever do any of that though. As much as he hated that fact right now, it was part of why he loved you.

All he does is mumble a thank you and kiss the corner of your mouth. He doesn't just cuddle you after though. He gets you off on his thigh. You were still going to cum even if he couldn't. When you're done, he holds you close and rubs your back till you're sleeping curled up to his side.

His night isn't very restful though. It's haunted with the prospect of future incidents like this, of your perception of him changing. The look in your eyes changing from admiration to pity.

He can't live with that. The next day for the two of you is super busy, but he makes sure there's a spot at the end of it for him to secure his redemption.

This time around it's him carting you away from the others once the sun is down, mouth on the curve of your neck before you even reach the bedroom. His hands grope your waist and paw at your tits. You stumble into the door, bumping it loud enough that you'd be worried about someone hearing you if they weren't all downstairs.

"Logan..." you giggle. You push your ass back against him and glance at him out of your peripheral.

"Not what you're gonna be calling me before the night is done, sweet thing," he grunts and boosts you up.

Your legs press into his sides to support yourself as he opens the door. He takes the two of you inside and kicks it shut behind him before heading to the bed and tossing you on the mattress.

You look up at him with a coy smile, arms propping you up and one of your legs extended to entice him.

"You know... you don't have to prove anything to me, right?" you say.

"Oh, I don't?" he asks and grabs your ankle, pulling you to the edge of the bed so your hips meet, "You're too easy to please, babydoll."

Another laugh bubbles through your lips. Your legs drop to lock around his waist. "I'm just saying. It's like totally normal, and I don't want you to get all grumpy about it."

"Oh, I get grumpy, do I?" he asks as he leans over you. His large body envelopes yours on the mattress. He ducks down further to swallow your words up with kisses.

You hum into the exchange but pull back a little to finish your thought.

"Mhm, you do. And I just don't want you to feel that way cause I knew when we got together what I was getting into," you say.

Your confidence is so cute. You talk with absolute certainty, like you understand all there is to be understood about him. Like you'd known him forever and he hadn't been doing things like this for decades longer than you walked this earth.

His mouth crashes against yours again, his body weighing down on you and crushing you into the mattress. 

"You did, hm? You knew what you were getting into? You got with me thinking I wouldn't be able to give it to you how you need all the time?" he mutters against your skin.

"I didn't mean it like-"

"Didn't mean it like that? How'd you mean it then, sweetheart?"

"I dunno..."

"Doesn't sound like you knew what you were getting into to me," he breathes.

That little sentence that you'd said in an attempt to comfort him unlocked something between the two of you. He felt his cock waking up and pressing against his zipper, eager to get out and slide home. It's hard to register your clothes being pulled off when he's got his tongue in your mouth and his fingers playing with your clit. In no time at all, he's got the both of you bare and his cock nestled between your thighs.

Like he already knew, the issue last night had never been about lack of desire. And he intended to prove that to you, fuck you so good it wiped your memory of any placating word that fell from your lips.

He ruts into you hard. The mattress rocks on the bed frame and threatens to slide off. His dick is big and even though it's not a new sensation for you, each time you take it is a stretch. It's even more so when he pushes you up by the back of your knees. You whine as you're folded in half. His thrusts hit your sweet spot every time at this angle.

"Thought you knew what you were getting into?" he teases as he pistons himself in and out.

You mewl and bob your head, though you aren't sure if you're shaking your head or nodding.

"Fuckkkk, Logan. 'm sorry," you pant. Your walls squeeze tight around his shaft as your eyes close up. He made every part of your body contract and feel like it was moments from exploding.

He simply laughs at your apology. "Don't gotta be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just showing you what happens when I get older."

His balls hang heavy and swing with each motion, clapping against your ass. The heat between your legs is enough to make you squirm. Constant whimpers pour from your lips as he fucks into you without mercy.

"I know," you moan, "You fuck me better than anyone else."

"That's right," he grunts, "Nobody else could fuck you like this. Just me."

"Mhm, just daddy," you slur and cling onto him tighter. Your arms hook around his neck and keep his sweaty skin flush against yours.

"Just daddy," he repeats, his tone smooth like silk despite his raspy voice, "You don't need anyone else. Not when I can take care of you like this."

His tip prods at your cervix, making you yelp and buck. He doesn't stop though, just keeps battering into you, hammering into your warm, wet hole.

"You don't need any little boys thinking they know how to handle you," he breathes and nuzzles your neck, "Your old man can handle you just fine, make you cum whenever you need."

A strangled cry leaves your lips. Your nails dig into his back so hard that it seems like you wanted to draw blood. His words just make you melt for him. Reduce you down to a compliant jumble of flesh for him to mold and play with how he wants.

"Needa cum right now, daddy," you whine.

"I know you do, spoiled girl. You act so understanding, but I know that little pussy is aching to cum around my cock. To get filled up with my cum," he murmurs.

You nod wildly.

He chuckles at your eagerness and snaps against you even harder.

"Hold on tight, baby," he whispers.

His hips ricochet off your ass, clapping against you with intensity that borders on violent. You squeal and hang on as directed. Your whole body rocks with his momentum. Your head bobbles around like it's empty, which it is. Empty of everything but him.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," you whimper.

"Let it out for me. Let me feel you burst, pretty girl," he grunts as he continues plowing into you.

Your body rolls. Your hips vibrate with the ecstasy release brings you. It crashes over you in one intense wave, like a gallon of liquid euphoria being poured over you. Your eyes flutter, and you bury your face in his neck like he has his in yours.

He fucks you through it. Coos in your ear too. "That's my baby. My sweet girl. Always sound so pretty when you're cumming."

One of your hands flies up to clutch at his thick, dark hair. Keeping him close keeps the words flowing.

"Getting so tight for me, fuck. No one can make me cum like you, honey. Drains me dry every fucking time."

Moments later he spurts into you, unloading thick ropes of his spend inside you. You let out another moan from that sensation alone. He growls and pants against your skin, his hands locking you in place as his hips pummel into your cunt and make sure every last drop has been released.

He lingers on you for a few moments before pulling out. His body feels loose in the afterglow. He stands at the edge of the bed and looks down at himself and then you. He knows he's gonna have to clean you up. Your inner thighs are shimmery with a mix of fluids, and the bush of dark hair at the base of his cock is in the same condition.

"Time to shower, baby?" he asks and pats your leg. You don't respond at first and he smirks. "Or did I tire you out too much?"

You whine something incoherent and shift to turn your face against the blankets. His smug look grows. He crawls over you again and nips at your jaw, rubbing his nose against your cheekbone.

"You know, it's ok, sweetheart. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's totally normal for pretty little things like you. I knew that going in."

His tone mimics your soft and understanding one from earlier. You make a little growl and swat at his bicep.

“Shut up, old man.”

[donjuaninhell]

@strawberryswitchblader One of the problems surrounding Long Covid as a diagnosis is that it encompasses an overly broad variety of post-acute sequelae. You have people experiencing everything from scarring on the lungs, liver and kidney damage, to loss of smell. Then there are those who develop dysautonomic conditions like POTS or who are later diagnosed with ME/CFS and experience Post-Exertional Malaise. There is also a very large (perhaps even the majority) group of persons who will experience a prolonged but temporary period of post-viral fatigue; these are the people who recover gradually on their own, generally within a timeframe of six to eight months. It's not really exercise that leads to their recovery, they would have recovered on their own, and may even have recovered more quickly through a program of radical rest. My beautiful girlfriend is dealing with some post-viral fatigue right now after having gotten sick with mononucleosis this past summer. It's been a real struggle for her dealing with it, but she's also not experiencing PEM, so I'm confident she'll fully recover.

Many of the people who make claims about recovering from "chronic fatigue syndrome" through exercise therapy or some psychological treatment are in this post-viral fatigue category and mistaking correlation for causation and forgetting that the plural of anecdote is not data. The data overwhelmingly supports the notion that for patients experiencing PEM, graded exercise leads to a worsened disease state and a potentially permanently lowered baseline. Before I was diagnosed it's precisely how I inadvertently powerlifted, nightwalked and gradschooled myself into becoming housebound.

And having lived with ME at varying degrees of severity going on twenty-seven years now, I gotta say, it's very boring resting all the time. You get antsy fast. If all it took to get better was walking a bit more every day, I'd jump at the chance, but exercise doesn't really do much for chronic CD8+ T cell exhaustion, or hypofusion causing excess calcium and sodium buildup in skeletal muscles leading to mitochondrial damage. There was a paper that came out just a few months ago that published the results of analyzing blood samples from nearly 1500 ME/CFS patients and 130,000 healthy controls, and they discovered hundreds of biomarkers which indicated everything from insulin resistance to poor blood oxygenation, mitochondrial dysfunction, and systemic chronic inflammation. You can't fix any of that with exercise.

It's all a mess, there really needs to be stricter research diagnostic criteria, and better delineation between the various subtypes. It would clear up so much confusion, but that's also why there haven't been tighter criteria. Exercise and therapy makes for a very inexpensive treatment, one that insurance companies are far more willing to back than experimental anti-viral treatments or IVIg therapy, and in some countries the disability allowances for psychological conditions is less than for physical conditions. If you keep it ambiguous if Long Covid or ME/CFS or fibromyalgia or POTS are physical or psychological diseases, well you save austerity governments a few bucks there too.

[trippinsorrows]

my all + oneshot

authors note: this is all deranged, dysfunctional, toxic, and unhealthy. i condone none of the shit ya'll are about to read. none. inspired by this ask.

words: 8.7k

song inspo: 'my all' by mariah carey. because solana is just as down bad as mariah was singing this shit about a young derek jeter.

warnings: smut, violence, some angst. age gap relationship (10 years). a bit of a daddy kink. breeding kink. blink and you'll miss it cum play. toxic relationship. rough sex. roman is dominant and possessive. solana is passive and a bit of a nympho for him.

Solana Miller knew the minute she laid eyes on Roman Reigns that he would be trouble. Without even knowing his story, his case, or the reason he was serving a 10 year sentence, she just knew he would be a problem for her. 

It started with the first man that he sent to her infirmary. Badly beaten. Multiple cracked ribs. A ruptured kidney. Eyes swollen shut. 

The reason for the vicious attack?

Because he could.

The man ended up needing care beyond what Solana could provide, hence being transferred to the main hospital.

And that was just one of several. Over the course of four weeks, several men who found themselves on Roman Reigns' bad side—if a good one even exists—laid on her bed. Bloody, beaten, unconscious. The more inmates she saw, the more severe the beatings. His cruelty seemed to know no limits.

And, Roman himself wasn't even the one who'd caused such mayhem. He had people working for, and inmates doing his dirty work for him. Even behind bars, he was still running shit.

It was the final inmate to need intense, urgent medical care beyond her clinic that Solana had to ask, had to inquire as to why. The how this kept happening. How Reigns hadn’t earned himself at least a good month or two of solitary confinement.

The answer?

“He’s untouchable.”

That was the only answer she received from her direct supervisor, the medical director of the prison, Dr. Trish Stratus.

And, it made sense. Because one look at Roman and one just knows he’s bad news, anyone who’s anyone knows exactly who Roman Reigns is.

The Tribal Chief. 

The Head of the Table.

The Capo.

He has many names, many titles, but all lead to one thing.

Danger.

Roman Reigns is the personification of danger.

The feared, brutal leader of two of the biggest crime syndicates in the world. His stint in federal prison only occurring due to betrayal from within his inner circle and a freshly appointed DA who thought he was hot shit by bringing down “The Big Dog.”

Solana knows it’s only a matter of time before he “mysteriously” disappears. Any sign or trace of him most likely to be found in the form of scattered body parts. If anything at all is to be left. 

Just like she knows it’s only a matter of time before Roman is someway, somehow released. A man as powerful as him can only be kept in chains for so long.

It'd been a little over a month since Solana first locked eyes with Roman Reigns in passing as he was being escorted to his cell. A brief, powerful, memorable thing. The faintest hint of a smirk on his handsome face as she redirected her gaze to her shoes.

Avoid.

Solana was determined to avoid him at all cost.

A difficult, almost impossible thing to do when one day she walked into work to find him sitting on the patient bed in her room, waiting for her almost, wearing a smug expression. 

The reason for his presence?

“Said his chest was hurting.”

Solana had never felt so disgusted with a person before when she received that bullshit answer from the guard. The guard who not only left her alone with Reigns, door closed, left him alone, completely unshackled. No cuffs on his wrists.

It was….unnerving, to say the least.

She’d heard the gory tales of his brutality. Knew what he was capable of. And, she’d been left alone with him. 

Wonderful.

Solana swallowed, doing her best to show no fear as she placed her bag on the hook behind the door. “Take your shirt off for me.” She issued her command while washing her hands, taking longer than what was necessary, already knowing she was bound to be distracted by the sight of such a man shirtless.

And, damn, was she correct.

Roman sat, still smug, shirtless, rippling muscles on full display. His tattoos, almost entirely tribal in nature, decorating half his body. A beautifully sculpted body.

Solana’s resolve had never been tested as much as it was in that awful moment.

“What’s your name, pretty girl?” It was the first thing she heard him say, the deep timbre of his baritone voice shaking her in an unsettling way.

Solana managed to avoid eye contact, drying her hands and answering. “Solana.” Throwing the used paper towels away, she added, “you can call me Nurse Miller.”

Roman shook his head, a teasing smile growing. “I like pretty girl better.” Fuck. “What’s a nice, young thing like you doing working in a place like this?”

“What are your symptoms?” She asked, somehow, someway maintaining professionalism despite the burning of her cheeks. She’d never been spoken to so boldly. 

Roman’s gaze was assessing, causing Solana to suddenly regret bypassing picking up a new set of scrubs. Having gained some weight over the past few months, she found her work uniform a little too snug in all the places one wouldn’t want attention in. The same places his eyes seemed to focus on. “You’re too innocent to be here.” He spoke, proudly and easily not answering her questions. “Too pretty. Too damn fine.”

Solana cleared her throat. “Mr. Reigns—”

“Roman,” he interrupted. “Call me Roman.”

Oh, fuck.

Solana’s suddenly shaky hands moved to grab the stethoscope off the counter as she walked over to him, managing a quiet, “just relax.” The same advice she tried to tell herself in being so close to him, the scent of his cologne, strong and masculine, just as distracting as his perfect face and body. Solana assessed his vital signs, hearing nothing abnormal. 

Clearing her throat, she moved to step away only for him to grab her. She froze as he tugged her in between his spread legs.

Her stomach dropped. “Mr. Rei—”

“Shhhh.” His index finger moved against her lips. “Roman.” He corrected once more, just as his eyes lowered to her chest. His tongue dipped out, licking his bottom lip. Solana utilized all sense of self-control to keep her thighs from clamping together from such an innocent act. 

Eyes never leaving her, he stood up, slowly. The height difference between them enough to make her head crane back to maintain that contact. Why she would even want to maintain it? She hadn’t the slightest clue. 

Solana’s mouth went dry as Roman grabbed his orange discarded shirt, laying it on his muscled forearm. She went to back away, the distance between them too suffocating, too cumbersome. 

But, the minute she did, his hand was on the small of her back, holding her, keeping her near him. 

Her eyes shut when he lowered his head, mouth near her ear. “I’ll see you around, pretty girl.”

A whispered promise followed by a light slap of her ass before he separated from her, walking out the door without another word.

—------

Solana would love to say that was the one and only time that happened. 

But, that would be a lie.

A big, fat lie, because that man earned himself an undeserved visit to her medical bay more often than any other patient she’d ever had. And not once did he come with any medical necessity. His reason always the same. 

“I wanted to see you.”

To her credit, she tried her best to maintain those boundaries. Corrected him every time he called her “pretty girl.” Ignored him whenever he made an inappropriate comment or innuendo about her body. Avoiding him seeing the blush on her cheek when he referred to indecent acts.

She truly did her best, but with each visit, her resolve crumbled. A straight face slipped into a small, shy smile. Physically assessing him with her hands, while limited to the usual, medically approved checkpoints, shifted into something else. When he grabbed her wrist and slid her palm over his heart, it rested there for longer than what was necessary. 

The personal questions he asked shifted from being ignored into being answered, though some information was omitted.

And, the physical distance she did her best to keep between them minimized with each encounter. He was breaking her, and he knew it.

She thought of going to Stratus. Even briefly considered asking for a transfer. But, something about it, something about him, prevented her from doing so. Prevented her from putting an end to it all, because another part of her, a stupid, naive part liked it.

She liked the attention he gave her.

She liked him.

And almost a month into this game of cat or mouse, it all came to a head. 

—----

It was the usual routine of him lying and forcing his way into her space, but the air about it was different. It felt different. 

Right away, she knew he had other intentions.

Roman’s big body eclipsed her last glimpse of the door closing, the two guards outside of the room instead of one inside and one outside, as protocol dictated. 

A protocol that’d been disregarded from the moment he stepped foot into her infirmary.

But, instead of sitting on the bed as usual, he remained standing. Nearing her, watching and studying her.

Nothing but lust and desire dancing in his beautiful eyes. 

Solana swallowed, partially already knowing what was about to happen.

Didn’t stop her from asking.

“What—what are you doing?” A question that should have been laced with fear and concern. Roman is a monster. A cold-blooded killer whose ledger is soaked and dripping with blood. 

He was also standing directly in front of her. 

He said nothing at first, head tilted as he effectively backed her against the patient bed. Solana’s ass bumped into the end of said bed, preventing her from going anywhere. He had her boxed in. 

“Giving you exactly what you want.”

His answer was hard enough to process, followed by his big hands reaching down and grabbing her, lifting and placing her onto the edge of said bed. Solana gasped, going to scold him, “Mr. Reigns, this is inap—”

“Shut up.”

Solana would be lying if she tried to deny she hadn’t thought of what it would be like to kiss Roman. A monster he may be, but ugly, he most certainly is not. Visually speaking, tall, strong, dark, and handsome, he checks off every single box a woman could be looking for.

Except, she didn't push him off when he smashed his lips onto hers. Didn’t shove him away and scream for help, for one of the guards to restrain him and keep him away from her.

She pulled him closer, ignoring the smirk of his full lips into their passionate kiss. A kiss she found herself not wanting to end as he shoved his tongue into her mouth the same way he’d shoved himself into her life. Without request and without protest.

Solana moaned when his hands moved down to squeeze her breast, his thumb peppering over her hardened nipples that felt brick solid, poking against the fabric of her scrubs. 

Her attraction for him and enjoyment in their passionate make out couldn’t be denied even if she tried. So much so that she doesn’t bat an eye when that same hand previously groping her big breast jumped down to start tugging her pants off. 

Solana moaned into the kiss, as Roman expertly rid her of her scrubs, ripping them past her sneakers, that he also removed, all items discarded onto the floor. He pried his mouth from hers, full lips swollen, pink tongue darting out and glossing over his bottom lip. 

“Lay back.”

Two words. A single command. One response.

Never mind the consequences, the repercussions, the career ending outcome that could stem from such a major fuck up. A mishap or mistake were too watery of terms to use. Too downplaying of what should easily be the biggest regret of her life, because so much, all, stands to be lost with just one knock or entrance of the right—or wrong—person.

Fraternizing with the prisoners was one thing, but sexual conduct with said prisoners was entirely different.

Solana could lose her job, could lose her license, could lose everything she’s worked so hard for.

And, yet none of that prevented her from doing a damn thing to stop this man. 

Solana laid back on the patient bed, sitting up and resting her weight on her elbows as she watched him drop to his knees before her. Heart rate erratic, she lifted her hips just enough when he started tugging down her underwear. As expected, they were thrown to the wayside, just as her pants and shoes were. 

An inconvenient obstacle preventing him from his destination. 

His warm eyes lifted to hers at the same time he grabbed her by her calves, forcing her down on the bed and right onto his waiting mouth.

“Oh, fuck!”

Solana had always enjoyed this part of sex. Tried to enjoy it, at least. Consistent good head had always been hard to come across. It’d be great at first and lackluster every time after. Or, the usual of way too much theatrics and not enough actual performance.

None of that was the case with the man before her. 

Roman didn’t ease into anything. It seemed like a trait that felt applicable across several areas of his life. Including with sex. Because, he ate her pussy with a ravenous, carnal, sinful need. The sounds of him sucking and licking on her clit battling with the moans that left her mouth and the withering of her body on the bed. 

The minute his thick, talented tongue circled her sensitive nub, Solana was off her elbows and on her back, head reclined from the delicacy of his exquisite mouth on her most sacred parts. 

“Oh my God.”

Solana was too caught up in the bliss of it all to care when he pulled back, humming almost. “That’s it, sweetheart.” He brought his fingers to toy with her arousal, thick finger teasing her tight hole. “Fuck my face.”

It was only then Solana realized how her body moved against him, how one hand fisted in his hair, holding him right where she wanted him. To stay.

Forever.

“Shit, Roman,” she cursed when he went back to work, sucking and kissing her pussy like it was the best thing he’d ever been blessed to experience. “Don’t—don’t stop.”

He moaned against her, hands moving under her ass, tugging her even closer. Solana cried out from the euphoria of it all, continuing to grind against him, an eager, needy nympho for his fix. 

And, he continued to provide it, continuing to grace and grant her with a level of delight she never knew possible. Roman ate her out within an inch of her life, Solana’s attempts to pry him off her only met with him forcing her hands away, further burying his face into her safe haven. He continued to torture her, never retracting or stopping, even as her orgasm coursed through her, practically knocking the wind out of her.

Never in her life had she come so hard. 

Or so much. 

She was a discombobulated mess, the only thing pulling her from that post orgasmic daze was the sight of Roman lowering his orange pants and black boxers, freeing what had to be the biggest dick—outside of porn—that she’d ever seen.

The excitement and libido was momentarily altered by an understandable amount of trepidation.

“I—” Solana wasn’t quite sure how to say it, especially as he rubbed the massive mushroom head of his equally massive sized cock against her slippery, wet folds. “It’s—it’s not going to fit.”

She knew this well. Basic science and common sense. Maybe some fear as well.

A lot of fear.

There’s no way he could get that inside of her. Not without her landing in someone’s emergency room from vaginal tearing. If not worse.

But, her apprehension didn’t extend to him. Roman smirked in response to her overt concern. “Yes, it will.” He prompted with his chin, one hand stroking that beautiful, long dick. “Lay back.”

She swallowed. “Roman.”

“Trust me.”

Her eyes widened slightly. Trust him? She shouldn’t have even be doing that with the man, let alone trusting him to fuck her without causing great bodily harm. It was crazy. All of it. One of the most dangerous men in the world, serving a ten year prison sentence, a man who had run this place like he owned it since starting his sentence. A man who’d gradually made his way past her wall, albeit weak from the get-go, standing before her, about to fuck her in the infirmary where she was supposed to be working. Like the guards outside the door who were also supposed to be working but had turned a blind eye, like almost everyone has with Reigns’ outrageous conduct.

It was fucking ludicrous.

And yet, she did exactly as he directed.

She laid back, demonstrating an undeserved and unearned amount of trust. 

Her stomach doing all kinds of somersaults, also in battle with the desire that still coursed in the depths of her belly. The wonderful sensations that came from him continuing to coat his dick with her essence, their makeshift lube in absence of the actual product.

Not once did she think to ask about protection. Or anything else, really, because all she could think about and focus on was the immediate, almost painful feel of him as he started to enter her.

Her eyes clenched shut, her fingers gripping the bed underneath her. “Shit.” An almost burning sensation, something similar to what one experiences when being split or cut open.

An accurate description. 

Solana felt a shift and a sort of weight on top of her, followed by Roman’s soft, full lips on hers. Nasty, tongue kissing accompanied the gradual descent of him inside her, providing a salacious and needed distraction. Inch by inch, he stretched her walls, forcing her cunt to accommodate his big dick.

Solana clutched onto his shoulders, moaning into his mouth when he spoke against her lips, “that’s it….let me in, baby girl.” Her eyes didn’t need to be open to see the haughty expression on his face. It seeped through his deep voice. “Let me ruin you.”

Concerning words that should not evoke the kind of moan it did. But, it did. The same way Solana couldn’t stop herself from realizing at some point the pain and discomfort of her taking someone of his size and girth transcended into something delicious and pleasurable. That it moved into her rocking against him, eager for more and all of him.

Something most definitely noticed by the man above her.

“Am I in there?” A possibly rhetorical question that was followed up with a more demanding question. “Where am I? Tell me, baby.”

An easy question, but one that was a struggle to verbalize as Roman had eased into a slow and steady pace. Solana hugged him closer as one hand moved under her ass, holding her up a bit while he fucked her. 

“My—my stomach, oh my God.” The only answer she could provide, the one that felt the most truthful, cause God, he was so deep. If not for rolls and pudge of her belly, even more profound from the position they were in, she’s certain she could have seen his sizable dick driving into her. Balls and stomach deep.

“That’s right,” he growled. Solana’s head fell back, wincing when he kissed and bit down on her neck. Equally painful as it was delightful. “Can’t nobody fucking beat your shit up like this but me.”

Another true statement she couldn’t deny or even try to. Solana couldn’t do much of anything with the way he was pounding into her. Wild, animalistic, uncontrolled. 

Fucking into her with a sense of need and urgency. “Fuck, your pussy feels amazing.” He grunted, leaning over, sucking on her neck. “Tight ass cunt….”

Her thighs locked around his waist, hungry for him, begging to feel his dick continue to dive into her. She’d never had a sexual partner hit and feel as deep as Roman was and felt in her. “Keep fucking me like that.”

Roman’s smirk was loud and proud. “This what you been wanting?” His tone cocky and knowing as he flicked her nipples through her top. “Me to stretch this pussy?”

Her response was a moan as she gripped his arms, holding him tighter and closer. “Y–yes.”

He made a sound, hiking her up further, Solana crying out from the angle of the thrust. The tip of his dick repeatedly knocking into and nudging her g-spot. “God, yes, right there.” Words in Spanish tumbled out of her mouth at the way he rocked into her, over and over again, driving her mad with delectable ectasy.

“Pretty girl just wanted me to slut her out on my dick, huh?” More bragging. Well deserved, because the way he was digging her out, pounding into her, should be studied, framed, and preserved for all eternity. “Wanted to be fucked by a real man.”

Another undisputed fact. 

“Fuck.” His hissed curse drew her gaze to him, Solana biting down on her bottom lip at the sight. Eyes shut, tension evident by how he was clenching his jaw, he looked like he was enjoying it just as much as she was. And there was something empowering about that, something that got her off even more. Knowing that a man as powerful as him, in all the ways, could be brought to this level of bliss because of her.

It had to be what emboldened her to bring her hands to his face, forcing their swollen lips to lock once more as she demanded, “you like how my pussy feels, baby?” Such an uncharacteristic thing for her to say, in the middle of being fucked numb, or not. Regardless, it’s exactly what she said. 

Roman’s response was to grind his hips against her, as he answered almost darkly. “Yes.” Solana nearly came right then and there from a single answer. “The Tribal Chief loves it.”

Another orgasm inducing acknowledgment that had that familiar sensation building and budding inside her. “Roman…”

“I know,” was his only response. He could feel it, too. “Not yet.” He said more to himself than her. “I’m not ready...”

Solana had a good feeling about what he was referring to, but it did nothing to slow down the autonomous response of her body. Unless he stopped fucking her like that, there was no stopping it. 

A whimper left her mouth as she dug her nails into his cheek, their foreheads pressed against each other. “I can’t….”

“Yes, you can,” he encouraged, slowing down the pace of his thrusts. She couldn't tell if that helped or hurt. “Don’t come on daddy’s dick just yet, pretty girl.” The ‘pretty girl’ most definitely didn’t help. It never did. “Let me feel this good ass pussy a lil’ longer…”

She wouldn’t be opposed to feeling his good ass dick inside her a lil’ longer as well, but wants oftentimes can’t stand up against needs. And, what she needed was to come.

More than she’d ever come before. 

It felt almost impossible, but Roman talked her through it. Kept her from tipping over the edge just long enough, so that he could catch up with and reach her, where they could climax together. And, they did. God, they did. Solana holding onto him, mouth ajar, connection to reality momentarily severed. Her orgasm was otherworldly. Too good and grand for her to even put into words, to be fully, physically, emotionally, and spiritually present.

All so earth and world shattering that it never even occurred to her how Roman came inside of her. Ropes of his cum, combined with her own, filling and spilling out over her used and battered pussy. 

She was partially cognizant to when he eventually pulled out of her, dazed look in his eyes as he brought his finger to her vagina, pushing some of their cum back inside. 

But, she was very aware when he used that same hand and brought his hand to grab her jaw, squeezing just enough to force her mouth open. That same hand, those fingers, still with their juices on it, entered her mouth. The unspoken command obvious. 

Solana sucked his fingers dry. 

Imagining it was that big, beautiful dick of his instead.

His look of pride at her obedience was followed by him removing said fingers. His mouth back on her, Solana shared the taste of them on her tongue and lips. An erotic, nasty exchange of sorts that had her pussy fluttering. 

It was all so kinky.

Roman broke the kiss, looking down at her with something she couldn’t name, but something that had her both aroused and fearful. 

And with all the conviction in the world, he laid his claim. “You’re mine now.”

—-----------

That first time was the start of something inescapable and avoidable.

Something sinful and forbidden.

An affair.

Four months deep, even if Solana wanted to get out, she couldn’t. It’s a known, open secret among several of her coworkers and colleagues. Something that once shamed her, embarrassed her. Now, she can’t seem to think or see straight beyond Roman. 

Even now, as she sits in the trailer, the place intended for prisoners who have an exemplary record, who have completed the Extended Family Visits (EFV) Program, that allows prisoners to have family time with loved ones in this separate space on prison grounds. 26 hours to live as normal a life as possible.

It’s a resource Roman has now commandeered for their alone time, adding to their visits that still happen at least three times a week.

For almost four months now, this has been the routine. Short, not as long meetings in the prison followed up with the Friday into Saturday she spends with him in the trailer almost weekly.

The closest sense of normalcy she’ll ever receive in such a fucked up situation.

But, the moment Roman arrives, she knows. 

Knows that something is wrong.

He’s upset with her. She can tell from the minute he walks in. Big body and tall frame almost too large for the trailer. Nicer and even bigger than the average, it’s just too small for him. Too simple. Too basic. A man like Roman demands and requires only the best of things. 

A difficult task, however, given the situation he’s in.

The situation they’re in.

He heads straight to the shower, which is the norm for him. However, what’s not the norm is the way he doesn’t even ask—or tell—her to join him. That’s usually how they kick things off. In the shower. Her washing him. Him washing her, and then her legs wrapped around his waist as he pounds into her her, her on her her knees, her body propped up against the wall, then on the bathroom counter, and eventually into the bedroom.

The normal trajectory of things. 

But, not tonight.

No, tonight is clearly bound to be different.

For a minute, Solana considers just leaving. It’s obvious he’s in a mood, and she doesn’t feel much better herself. It’s probably just best if she goes home. The smart thing. The right thing.

She doesn’t do it.

She remains there, sitting and waiting on the bed, wearing an old Selena shirt, a gift from her cousin back when they were in college.

And, she waits. For what, she’s not entirely sure anymore.

She just waits.

Roughly 25 minutes pass from the time he entered the trailer and the minute he walks out of the bathroom, nothing but a thick white towel wrapped around his waist. He’d clearly used another to dry his hair as best as possible given its damp, but not wet, appearance.

He stands at the end of the bed, ringlets of water dripping and traveling down his body, that sculpted, divine, fine work of the Gods. And, he looks at her. Says nothing. Just looks.

Suddenly exhausted and minimally frustrated, Solana runs her hands through her blown out hair. “Roman—

“Did you fuck him?”

And now, she’s looking at him. Of all the things he could say, of all the things he could ask, that….that was most definitely not on her list.

Confused, but maybe not, she asks, “what?”

 “You should know by now I don’t like repeating myself.” His expression is hardened. The perfect match for his voice. “The same way I don’t like when people lie to me.”

Both things that she knows. Solana has treated the brutal, gruesome wounds of the men who had to learn one or both of those lessons the hard way. And yet, she remains staunch in her partial confusion. “Roman, I don’t—” She’s silenced by him grabbing her ankle, yanking her down to the end of the bed. The action causes her shirt to scrunch up, revealing her blue thong.

His favorite color.

Not that she wore it for him. No….not at all.

Roman’s gaze briefly drifts to that same thong, and she sees the flash of desire that builds only to be squashed by frustration. “Don’t test me, Solana.” A dangerously delivered warning combined with his hand loosening its hold, only for him to gradually move it upward. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

Her eyes never leave his traveling hand. “F–find out what?”

He stops only for a second. “You’re a terrible fucking liar.”

Solana says nothing, unable to disagree. She’s heard variations of the same thing over the years. Doesn’t mean she’s willing to cave.

“I know you went out last weekend with your friends.” And, there it is. Though startled, she remains unmoving. “That you went clubbing.” There’s an undeniable disdain in his delivery of that last word. A marked contrast to his hand that’s now in between her thighs, fingers hovering around the perimeter of her thong. “That you were dancing and talking to some piece of shit.”

All things she can’t and won’t deny, partially because it’s true, mostly because it’s practically impossible to focus with his hand so close to her pussy.

“So, I’m only going to ask you one more time, sweetheart.” Her eyes shut, lips parted, mouth drying as he travels his thick, long fingers past the band on her thong, collecting and playing with her arousal. “Did you fuck him?”

The him comes out at the same time he moves two fingers inside of her, evoking only a moan for a response. 

It’s the wrong answer. 

Solana cries out in protest when he hastily retracts his fingers, leaving her yearning and wanting more. 

“Ro—”

“Shut up.” An angry silencer accompanied by his big hands moving to grab her hips, tugging her forward even more and hurriedly turning her over. Solana is hoisted up on the bed, guided on her hands and knees. 

“Ro—”

Solana is once again silenced, but not by his words this time. By that same big hand coming down on her backside, the sound echoing throughout the room, her ass jiggling in the recoil. 

“I said shut the fuck up,” he reiterates. There’s not going to be a third repeating. A mixture of confusion and excitement fills her at feeling and hearing him move behind her. The drop of the towel from around his waist, the way he snatches and rips her underwear clean off her body. His moan that’s followed by her own as he drags his thick dickhead up and down her folds, collecting her arousal.

It’s all so dysfunctional and wrong.

And, she loves it all.

A loud shout and moan falls out her mouth the minute he plunges his long, girthy dick inside of her. No build up. No preparation. Just the massive intrusion of his sizable member in her tight opening. 

And, he’s relentless. 

Solana’s body jerks back and forth from the force of his thrusts. Angry. Possessive. Jealous. 

“Roman,” she moans. “Baby, please.” One hand reaching back to push him away is quickly snatched and held against her lower back as he starts fucking her harder.

“You’re mine,” he growls, leaning over, deepening the feel of the delicious dick inside of her. It hurts so good, feels so bad in all of the right, wonderful ways. “You belong to me.”

More possessive statements accompanied by his hips slamming against her big, round ass, jerking in and out of her, like each thrust is another assurance of his ownership. “Your pussy is mine.”

A decree followed up with a switching of his pace. Roman opts for slower, deeper thrusts, his hips grinding against her as one hand goes to slap her ass once more.

Solana moans, head down on the pillow, her other hand snatched and restricted behind her back. He’s got her pinned down as he continues to fuck into her like a man on a mission.

“Did you give him my pussy?” There’s an edge to his voice, like anything but the right answer could easily send him over the edge.

And, it just might. 

“N–no,” she finally answers, praying the truth of her response translates despite the weariness of her voice. He always fucks her in a way that makes her feel so exhausted. “It’s—it’s your pussy, baby.”

His. All his. Every part of her. The good, the bad, the somewhere in between.

His.

“That’s right,” he grunts. Solana’s eyes burn with unshed tears. Never in her life has she been fucked like this. Fucked so good. It’s almost impossible to resist. To deny him this. To deny herself this. “Who do you belong to?”

She’s about to reply when he frees one of her hands only to fist her hair, forcing her up, head back, burning gaze on her. “I asked you a question.”

An easy answer but a difficult answer given how he’s fucking her right now. “Y—you, baby. I’m—I’m your—shit—only y–yours, Ro.”

“Damn right,” he huffs, releasing her hair. Roman moves her shirt up, exposing her big, heavy breast, gripping them, fingers playing with her nipples. “My pretty girl is mine and only mine.”

Eyes fluttering closed from being fucked numb, she can only blindly nod and agree, stuttering from the impact of his unforgiving his pace. “Y–yes, daddy.”

Head lolling back against his chest, Solana moves her hands atop his as he continues to grope and play with her titties.

His mouth near her ear, kissing and nibbling, his deep voice rumbles, “you’re gonna give me a baby.” If not for her sex fueled haze, Solana would have done a double take. Eyes wide, mouth ajar for an entirely different reason. “Gonna fill this tight, little cunt up with my seed and put a baby in you. My baby.”

Crazy.

She should call him crazy. Delusional, even. But, she can’t. She can’t, because his statement isn’t also sex fueled, the result of being caught in the throes of passion. 

It comes from her.

Came from her.

Was a request straight from her mouth.

Solana had asked Roman to give her a child, to give them a child. Has done nothing to prevent said child from occurring organically given the numerous times she’s let this man come all in her without a single form of protection.

“That’s what you want, right?” He taunts, his heavy balls slapping against her from the force of his thrusts. “Me to put a baby in you? Why you let me come in you every time?”

Truthful words that should bring her to shame. But, they don’t. They just turn her on even more.

“Yes, Ro.” She moans, ass moving in tandem with him, swallowing his dick with the hunger the fills them both. “Oh, fuck, you fuck me so good, baby.”

“That’s right.” His hand squeezes her booty, jiggling and slapping it once more. “My pretty girl is a dirty cum slut for me and only me.”

Continuance of filthy truths that reveal all the ugly, tainted things about herself that only become evident when she’s with him. The secrets of her desires that could only come to the light because of him. The things she’s not sure how to get back into the box.

Or, if she even wants them to. 

As he does most times, Roman puts her in any and all positions he wants to. On her hands and knees. Propped up on his dick as he watches her ride him. From the front and back. On her back. On her knees as she deepthroats him till she's on the brink of vomiting. Her knees up against her chest, juxtaposed to her ears. One leg over his shoulder, the other held up against his waist as he relentlessly pounds into her. It never stops. His sex drive is endless, his hunger and desire for her is insatiable. Always has been.

It’s only when she tells him she’s too sore, that the pleasure is completely gone, pain and discomfort the only sensations she has left inside of her is when he lets up off her. A constant thing. The minute it’s no longer pleasurable for her has always been his stopping point. 

As intense and dominating he can be in the bedroom, he’s always been mindful and respectful of her consent. When she says stop, he listens. 

Every single time.

When she taps out for good, he accepts it.

And, she is completely tapped out. 

Roman carries her to the bathroom where he turns on the shower, bringing her under the running water as he washes her and then himself. A type of gentleness that’s a stark contrast to almost everything else about him, but a normal thing when it’s just the two of them. Both clean and cleansed from the mess they’d made of themselves, he kisses her forehead and brings her back into the bedroom. An extra blanket is laid over the bed, over the other mess that was made.

He lays her down first before climbing into bed with her, another clean blanket on top of them. Solana presses her naked, clean body against his own, head on his chest as he kisses her temple, encouraging her to rest.

And while her body enjoys the much needed respite, her mind cannot.

She can’t find a way to settle her many, racing thoughts at this. At all of it.

Madness.

This whole thing is a type of madness that makes no sense when she’s not with him and all the sense when it’s just him. That’s the power this man has over her. Solana can’t see or think straight when it’s Roman. He’s clouded her judgment, turned her into a version of herself even she can’t recognize.

She’s yet to tell if that’s a good or bad thing.

It’s all bad, according to Jade, Solana’s older cousin and confidant. 

Well, prior.

Because the minute Solana made the mistake of confiding in the woman she thought she could tell anything, she learned just how wrong she was. 

“Solana, have you lost your goddamn mind? You’re fucking a prisoner? A mafia boss at that?”

That was probably the nicest of the response she received. Everything else was a lot of judgment and lack of understanding. Or, trying to understand, at least.

Needless to say, the conversation didn’t go well, and every outreach attempt Solana has made in the weeks that have passed have gone without a response.

It hurts. For sure. But, Solana can understand. 

Jade also works as a nurse in the local hospital and most likely doesn’t want it to get out that she knew about this illegal, forbidden affair and played any part. Distance is probably for the best.

But, the conversation and aftermath did get Solana thinking. Forced her to consider all she stands to lose should this ever reach that point, and not even her professional standing and achievements.

Her family. 

What would they think of her? They’d be disappointed for sure. 

The child her family never had to worry about suddenly boosted to the top of that worry list.

A dangerous thought that led her stumbling into even more dangerous territory.

Solana will never say she has a bad family. Ever. She loves her parents. Loves her siblings. Her family is good.

However, the youngest of five siblings, some of them hitting rough patches at various points in life, there were definitely moments where she just felt….there. Like, she was just another member of the family. Another Miller kid. The “good” Miller kid. The one who always had it together, for the most part, thus not needing as much attention from her parents who were already stretched thin from their other children. 

And, that was pretty much the dynamic her entire life. Solana did well, did okay, and that was that. Her parents would acknowledge they were proud, but it almost always felt like a distant thing. Like, they were saying it as a pleasantry, distracted, too busy helping out DJ with his custody battle for his daughter. Occupied with finding Isabella a good therapist for her anxiety. Stressed out by Zuri and her refusal to comply. 

Solana was just the child they never had to worry about which, unfortunately, translated into her being the child that often felt forgotten about.

Enter: Roman Reigns.

The attention of a man like him is one thing. The interest is something entirely different. 

And, she’s managed to nab both. He should be the last person she wants to see and be intrigued by her, but that’s exactly what’s happened. Not only does Roman make her feel seen and heard, he makes her feel wanted, something she didn’t realize she lacked so deeply until him.

He makes her feel cared for.

Protected. Another, interesting, sad thing she also never realized she was missing, wanting, yearning for. 

Like the guard, Knight something, who continued to pester and bother Solana, even going as far as groping her ass as she walked past him one day. An impossible, unavoidable situation as he’d been there for years compared to her six months. Something she just accepted she’d have to tolerate.

She was wrong.

Because not even 24hrs after Roman happened to catch a glimpse of the harassment she was dealing with, Knight was found dead in a prisoner’s cell. Beaten to death. Castrated. Eyes gouged out. 

A gruesome ending for a man she couldn’t find herself feeling sorry for after learning he had a record of harassing nurses. And sexually assaulting female inmates at the prison he worked at before then.

Ignoring his willingness to kill or have people killed for her, which probably should disturb her more than it does, Solana could talk to Roman for hours and never tire. Because his gaze is always on her, eye contact consistent, attention devoted solely to and on her. She can’t count how many times she’d be trying to talk to her parents or siblings about something, anything, only for them to always find something more important to redirect their focus to. 

“I’m sorry, Sola.”

“There’s just a lot going on, sweetie.”

“Can we talk about this some other time? We will. I promise. I’m just….”

Reasons, when she was younger. 

Excuses, now, at 27. 

And, she doesn’t fault them, isn’t upset with them. It’s just realizing what void that caused for her is such an experience, especially when that void has been filled—and more—by a man ten years her senior and miles beyond what and who she usually goes for.

Amenable. Introverted. Lover of the arts. All qualities she could use to describe her exes, none of which could describe Roman.

Strong. Quiet. Brutal. There’s a strength about him she admires and gravitates to that has nothing to do with his massive build and rippling muscles. A story behind those warm brown eyes she could most definitely get used to waking up to. A man beneath the thing that is Roman Reigns. 

A…..a man who, in the throes of chaos and destruction, sometimes seeks the silence and calm. A space she knows she provides him. 

“It’s simple with you.” He’d once said as they lay in bed together, his strong arms around her, her head on his chest. Her fingers danced across the plane of his stomach.

Something told her he wasn’t talking about the silence of the room they lay in, either.

At the very beginning, she tried to tell herself he didn’t care. That she was nothing more than a source of entertainment for a man who has nothing better to do while waiting to be released from a sentence he “shouldn't” even be serving in the first place.

That thought process helped her justify her outrageous behavior just a little.  

But, it was a thought that quickly started to be debunked when things started happening. 

Like her being at home, in her quaint little apartment, only to receive a knock at her door one day with a delivery. Beautiful pink roses from the local florist. A card attached that simply read.

For my pretty girl.

-R

Moving past the shock of such a thoughtful gesture, Solana chalked it up to a singular act of kindness. Underserved, in her mind. But, appreciated, nonetheless.

And, then it happened again.

More flowers. 

Flowers morphed into gifts. Expensive gifts. Someone who had a few select Kate Spade bags and a Michael Kors backpack gifted during college, Solana found herself on the receiving end of designer brands so fancy she couldn’t pronounce. And, the flowers remained a weekly thing as well, something she valued slightly more than the six to seven figure gifts. 

Because he’d asked her what she liked, and she’d told him flowers. She told him, and he remembered. Not only did he remember, but he’d seemingly made it a mission of his to make it a thing. To make a small act of kindness a thing of normalcy. 

And while she tried her best to not make too much of it, a man in prison showing her more adoration and appreciation compared to any of her exes, who were most definitely not serving a decade long sentence, is something she can’t avoid. 

Can’t not acknowledge.

Doesn’t mean she hasn’t tried, because she has.

Solana has tried to break free from the addiction that is Roman Reigns.

Tried to avoid him as much as possible. A difficult thing on so many levels. Especially when he always seems to find a way inside of her infirmary and especially inside of her.

It was why she went out last weekend. Willing to test out that age old theory regarding how the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. 

It didn’t work. It was, somewhat, even as she made out with the random man whose name she can’t really remember. Melo, or something like that. But, the minute he started “stroking” her and boasting about how good it probably felt, it was a wrap.

Her thigh. He was stroking her thigh.

Solana went home alone that night, left early, needing to just be away from it all.

But, the fact that Roman knew about some of it, clearly not everything, comes at no surprise.

She knows he has people watching her. Has noticed the cars parked outside her parking complex. Seen the men that are almost always in not too far distance whenever she goes out. Even at the club that night.

He has a security detail on her. 

Has had one on her for a while now. 

Ever since that happened.

A fight broke out among inmates. Nothing out of the norm. A few were injured, hence several being transferred to medical. For some reason, she’s still unsure as to exactly how, a few of the prisoners weren’t properly secured. They weren’t shackled or cuffed, and it was as Solana went to disinfect a cut on one of them, he headbutted and punched her so hard that it knocked her out cold. 

Solana came to hours later in the local hospital where she wasn’t released until the next morning, being treated for what she considered minor injuries. Though the nasty bruise that marred the left side of her face was far from minor.

As recommended by Dr. Stratus, she took the next few days off. It felt a bit unnecessary. Solana didn’t feel too impacted by what occurred. Having been in the nursing field a few years now, she’d seen and experienced a lot. It wasn’t necessarily the first time she’d been hurt on the job, but it also wasn’t something that kept her up. That had her feeling traumatized.

There was some level of anxiety when she returned to work a few days later, but it quickly subsided when she learned that same prisoner who attacked her was dead.

Found tortured and murdered in his cell.

That shook her a bit. But, not as much when Roman was brought to the infirmary, her room, and the first thing she noticed was the scraped skin of his knuckles. For all of the many times he finessed his way into coming to see her, never had he actually come with anything requiring any kind of medical attention.

And even then, there wasn’t much that needed to be done outside of some disinfecting.

But, he didn’t seem to give two shits about that. 

He only seemed concerned with her. The minute the guards closed the door, he was before her. His big hands gently cupping her face, carefully turning her head to the side, examining the bruise that not even her most full coverage foundation could conceal.

His expression was a mixture of fury and regret. But, the fury couldn’t be felt not one bit as he pulled her into him, Solana initially confused but easily melting into comfort. She relished being in his strong embrace.

He kissed the top of her head, holding her, voice low and heavy with something unknown. “I’m sorry.”

To this day, she doesn’t know what exactly he was sorry for. She just knows that ever since that day, she’s had a security detail. It felt a little unnecessary and not even applicable, given she was injured on the job. Her “bodyguards” of sorts can’t really do anything to protect her when she’s on the clock.

But, Roman can.

It’s why she put two and two together, realizing Roman himself killed the man who hurt her. Every other life he’d claimed had been done indirectly. He’d used and ordered other people to carry out his fatal orders. But, this time….this time, he took it into his own hands.

He used his own hands to end the man’s life. Violently. Brutally. Graphically.

Why?

For her.

To send a clear message regarding what happens to anyone who dared to touch or try to hurt her.

Solana isn’t entirely certain, but she has a nagging suspicion that that was the moment it happened. 

The moment she realized she was falling in love with Roman.

Roman, for all his faults, and there are many, is good to her. He protects her and gives her a sense of belonging. Makes her feel wanted, something she didn’t really realize she was craving so deeply until him. 

Where she always just felt one of many with her family. With him, she’s one of one. She’s all he sees and all he wants. 

The same way she feels about him.

While the sex is phenomenal and in the plenty whenever it’s just the two of them, he talks to and with her. Asks about her, about how she’s doing. He’s always been so interested and intrigued about all the things that make her her. And, he commits it all to memory. Locks it away for sake keeping and points of retrieval. If she casually mentions working on an art piece, the next time they’ll see each other, he’ll ask how it’s going.

If she mentions not feeling the best during an interaction at the prison, their EFV visit won’t be used for a “sexscapade.” They’ll talk, she’ll learn more about him, he learns about her. It’s almost entirely domestic. He won’t touch her, unless she asks, and even then, he’s intent on making sure that she’s sure it’s what she wants.

And, it’s those moments that make her realize somewhere along the way, she stopped falling in love with Roman Reigns. 

She’s in love with Roman Reigns.

It’s all so fucked up. Everything about it. But, she’s too far gone, too deep into it to turn back now. 

And a part of her still worries that this is all performative. That he’s saying and doing all the things he knows she wants to hear and receive just to get what he wants from her. That the moment Roman is finally released will be the moment she never hears or speak to him again. He’ll be back on his throne, and she’ll be left all alone, heartbroken, life in ruins, trying to put it all the shattered pieces back together.

Potentially with a baby in her stomach.

It’s a reality she should probably consider more than she does, if at all, but it’s a reality she refuses to acknowledge. 

If that ends up being the devastating case, she’ll cross that bridge when they get there. When she gets there. Until then, she’ll enjoy this. Enjoy him. Enjoy them.

Because she’d give her all for him. 

Even if just to be a distant memory.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

if you've had covid and it wasn't a big deal for you so you're not actively trying to avoid getting it again, you should look up the research.

we've known for awhile now that every successive infection dramatically increases your risk of needing to be hospitalized for covid19. every time you get it you're rolling the dice, with a higher and higher risk of severe infection.

and that even asymptomatic covid19 can cause t cell and other immunological disruption (can make you immunocompromised basically, maybe temporarily maybe not)

as well as other long term problems that might not become obvious until you're sick again or even after

covid19 also causes postviral illnesses like POTS and ME/CFS* that you might not immediately realize you have because they're progressive and can seem very mild at first or be mistaken for anxiety/depression. and if you have one of these conditions every time you get covid they're likely to get worse.

i'm actually sick as hell myself rn, not with an infection but because I have ME/CFS and i sat up for over two hours a day on multiple successive days which is a lot for me at this stage of my illness, so i don't have the clarity of mind or energy to find sources rn but you should look for yourself!

*also ME/CFS also involves t cell dysfunction as well as problems with. basically every system of the body but my point rn is it can immunocompromise you too.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

HIV/AIDS & COVID-19, particularly long COVID, share several significant similarities, especially in terms of viral persistence, T cell damage, immune system dysfunction, & activation of other pathogens. These parallels are important for understanding the long-term effects of both infections and their impact on the immune system.

1. Viral Persistence

Both HIV & SARS-CoV-2 can persist in the body, leading to chronic symptoms & immune system complications. In HIV, the virus establishes reservoirs in various tissues, allowing it to evade immune detection and antiretroviral therapy (ART), leading to lifelong infection. Similarly, recent studies at Brigham and Women’s Hospital suggest that a subset of people with long COVID may harbor persistent SARS-CoV-2 proteins in their blood, potentially explaining ongoing symptoms months after the acute infection has resolved[4][10]. This viral persistence is thought to drive chronic inflammation and immune dysfunction in both.

In long COVID, viral reservoirs have been identified in multiple organs, including the gut, blood, & nervous system[12]. This mirrors HIV's ability to persist in tissue reservoirs such as lymphoid tissues. For both viruses, this persistence can lead to prolonged immune activation & may contribute to ongoing symptoms like fatigue, cognitive issues, & cardiovascular problems.

2. T Cell Damage & Exhaustion

Both HIV and SARS-CoV-2 cause significant damage to T cells, particularly CD4+ T cells. In HIV infection, CD4+ T cells are directly targeted by the virus, leading to their depletion over time and resulting in severe immunodeficiency if untreated. Similarly, severe COVID-19 has been associated with a reduction in CD4+ T cells due to excessive immune activation and exhaustion[1][2]. In both, CD8+ T cells also become dysfunctional due to chronic exposure to viral antigens.

T cell exhaustion is a common feature in both infections. In HIV, chronic infection leads to high levels of inhibitory receptors like PD-1 on T cells, contributing to their reduced functionality[2]. In severe COVID-19 cases, similar markers of T cell exhaustion (e.g., PD-1 and TIM-3) are observed[1]. This exhaustion impairs the body's ability to clear the virus effectively and contributes to prolonged illness.

3. Immune System Dysfunction

Both HIV/AIDS & long COVID can lead to profound immune system dysfunction. In HIV infection, even with effective ART, individuals often experience chronic immune activation and systemic inflammation due to incomplete immune recovery[6][9]. This persistent immune activation is linked to increased susceptibility to other infections and long-term health complications.

Similarly, long COVID is believed to involve ongoing immune dysregulation even after the acute phase of SARS-CoV-2 infection has passed. Some studies suggest that persistent viral proteins may continue stimulating the immune system, leading to chronic inflammation[4][12]. This ongoing immune activation may explain why some individuals experience prolonged symptoms such as fatigue, brain fog, or cardiovascular issues even after clearing the virus from most tissues.

4. Activation of Other Pathogens

Both HIV/AIDS and long COVID are associated with the reactivation of latent pathogens due to weakened immune surveillance. In people living with HIV (PLWH), co-infections with viruses like Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) or cytomegalovirus (CMV) are common due to compromised immunity[7]. Similarly, studies have shown that reactivation of latent viruses such as EBV may contribute to long COVID symptoms[7]

In both conditions, the weakened immune system's inability to control these latent infections can exacerbate symptoms and complicate recovery. For example, EBV reactivation has been linked with neurocognitive symptoms in long COVID patients[7], while opportunistic infections such as Pneumocystis jirovecii pneumonia are common in advanced HIV/AIDS patients[3]

So, HIV/AIDS and long COVID share several key similarities regarding viral persistence, T cell damage, immune system dysfunction, and the reactivation of other pathogens. These shared features highlight the importance of understanding how chronic viral infections can lead to long-term health consequences through mechanisms like persistent viral reservoirs and ongoing immune activation. Insights from HIV research may help inform treatment strategies for long COVID, especially in targeting viral persistence with antiviral therapies or addressing chronic immune dysfunction.

Sources

[1] SARS-CoV-2 and HIV-1: So Different yet so Alike. Immune ... pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9608044/

[2] Sharing CD4+ T Cell Loss: When COVID-19 and HIV Collide on ... www.frontiersin.org/journals/immunology/articles/10.3389/fimmu.2020.596631/full

[3] Overview of SARS-CoV-2 infection in adults living with HIV www.thelancet.com/journals/lanhiv/article/PIIS2352-3018(21)00070-9/fulltext

[4] Study Finds Persistent Infection Could Explain Long COVID in Some ... www.massgeneralbrigham.org/en/about/newsroom/press-releases/study-finds-persistent-infection-could-explain-long-covid-in-some-people

[5] New COVID studies show varied viral clearance time in patients with ... www.cidrap.umn.edu/covid-19/new-covid-studies-show-varied-viral-clearance-time-patients-lower-immunity

[6] Immunologic Interplay Between HIV/AIDS and COVID-19 link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11904-023-00647-z

[7] Long COVID in people living with HIV - PMC - PubMed Central pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10167544/

[8] Persistence and Evolution of SARS-CoV-2 in an ... - NCBI www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7673303/

[9] The immune response to SARS-CoV-2 in people with HIV - Nature www.nature.com/articles/s41423-023-01087-w

[10] Persistent infection could explain long COVID in some people, study ... www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2024/10/241009122346.htm

[11] Plasma-based antigen persistence in the post-acute phase of ... www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(24)00211-1/fulltext

[12] Long Covid trials aim to clear lingering virus—and help patients in ... www.science.org/content/article/long-covid-trials-aim-clear-lingering-virus-help-patients-need

[fungh0u1]

hi im so interested in your ocs btw, if you ever needed encouragement to post about them then here's some from me !! but no pressure obv

I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM! I am so flattered that you're interested ^.^. I made you an illustrated compendium.

Mutagenesis Drive is a zombie apocalypse story centered around the relationship between Joan and Marnie, two college age girls who have been friends for a long time.

THE CHARACTERS:

JOAN (our perspective character) has always considered herself "emotionless". She struggles to understand her own feelings, preferences and sensations and has been going through her life before the apocalypse without caring about or wanting anything... as far as she can tell. She's very analytical and intuitive when it comes to survival, and finds herself the brain of her and Marnie's little caravan, despite not having much of a preference if they live or die (right?).

MARNIE is Joan's best (and only, really) friend. She's stoic, like Joan, but unlike Joan it's out of just a socially inept demeanor instead of some internal issue. She is freakishly obsessed with Joan and would do anything to keep Joan from leaving her behind. She doesn't express that at all outwardly, though, because she is prone to defeatism and feels that Joan could never return her feelings and that it would be best to not complicate their relationship by acting needy or affected. Their friendship is actually pretty surface level as neither of them really know how to relate to other people. Marnie is happy to leave her dysfunctional family home when the apocalypse starts so she can spend all of her time with Joan.

THE PARASITE:

The zombies (zombies-ish, demons) in MGD are highly mutated creatures with different specialized forms resembling different types of animals. The world is very sparsely populated with surviving humans as these demons are very effective hunters. (a/n Skip on to "Joan and Marnie's Developing Relationship/Story Summary" if you don't give a fuck about this, I really don;t mind.)

Stage 1: The host is infected via blood to blood or saliva to blood contamination. Thousands of larva attack the host's immune system. There is an average 85% chance that the immune system will be overloaded and allow the parasite to progress. Symptoms begin ≈ 6 hours after initial infection. Fatigue. Fever.

Stage 2: The parasite implants in the host's frontal lobe and begins to spread its tendrils throughout the brain. The parasite can be removed surgically, but surgery is less viable the further it's progressed. Stage 2 is entered within 1-6 days. Confusion. Fatigue. Vertigo. Loss of motor control. Loss of higher thinking.

Stage 3: The host becomes aggressive, losing the ability to communicate. The host will instinctively begin to eat anything with nutritional value. The cells of the digestive system begin to be affected, causing the host's metabolism to increase and become more efficient. Within 8-12 days after the start of stage 2.

Stage 4: The structure of the host's body begins to mutate. Depending on the strain of parasite, it will begin to resemble different forms, some being adapted to swimming, flying, running, etc. After spending time hoarding and ingesting huge amounts of food and briefly hibernating, it retains its incredibly fast metabolism and begins to hunt, needing a lot of food to survive. Since it can reproduce by infecting others, it tries to infect any suitable hosts and return them to its nest until the parasitization reaches stage 4.

(^ Joan and Marnie fight a Harpy.)

JOAN AND MARNIE'S DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIP/STORY SUMMARY:

Joan and Marnie travel together in Marnie's van (Joan does not know how to drive). Joan is the "brains" of the operation, directing Marnie and herself as a tight unit to scavenge supplies. There's little room for error if they want to survive. Marnie is terrified of being left behind by Joan, knowing that she wouldn't be able to survive on her own but more than that just wanting to be around Joan (and to be her little dog).

Marnie often falls into maladaptive fantasies about Joan, though she's unable to convey her feelings in real life Marnie imagines Joan being a better person and having normal emotions. She has conflicting perceptions of Joan both as herself and as who Marnie wants her to be. However, these perceptions shift as time goes on.

Marnie grows increasingly resentful of Joan for making her do things she thinks are wrong. Marnie is wracked with guilt over these actions while Joan seems completely unaffected. It culminates with Joan telling Marnie to do something that will almost definitely cause the deaths of another group of survivors. Marnie does it but resolves to break things off with Joan. They come across a bustling research hospital that is willing to take them in. Their relationship is tense. They are quarantined together, then separately. Joan hasn't seen Marnie in days.

Joan is let out but finds that Marnie had tested positive for the parasite and is being treated. Through some series of events Joan realizes that Marnie, and many patients in the hospital, had been injected with the parasite to study its progression and treatment (Joan was overlooked because of her bad health).

Joan realizes that she wants to survive with Marnie and breaks them both out of the hospital, shooting and stabbing a good number of people to death. Upon leaving the building, the two of them see that the world outside of the hospital has been overrun by sprawling, terrifying, fleshy structures. It seems like their chances of survival are even worse than when they first entered the hospital. Still, they have each other. They find a vehicle and drive off into the sunset with hopeful dreams of the future.

CLOSING THOUGHTS:

MGD is not, like, totally fleshed out in my mind but this is my best estimation of how I want it to be. I originally conceptualized it as a comic, I would love it as a point-and-click adventure... or maybe a visual novel or an rpg... but I'm not fully sure what medium I'd want it to be in... I don't know! I would like to do something with it eventually and flesh it out more. What I wrote here may be a little contradictory or disorganized.

Well, I tried to give the best overview I could concisely but I maybe wrote a little too much!! I hope it's what you wanted, June, seriously THANKSS for asking me about them. Clearly I love to talk. Please feel free to make any comments about it or ask any followup questions anyone out there I do love to hear it.

[willowreader]

The Virus That Breaks the Guardrails: How SARS-CoV-2 Turns the Immune System Against Us

- Future of Other Infections?

- Increased Cancer Risk?

We moved on. The masks came off, the gatherings resumed, and the world whispered, “It’s over.” But SARS-CoV-2 never got the memo. While we returned to normal, the virus stayed busy, etching its damage into our immune systems like graffiti on an abandoned building. The wreckage it leaves isn’t always visible, but it’s there—rewiring how our bodies fight disease, setting the stage for new infections, and quietly sabotaging the systems meant to keep us safe.

This isn’t just the story of a virus we think we beat; it’s the story of a virus that’s still working overtime while we look the other way. What happens when the defenses that protected us for generations start to crumble? Spoiler: the virus didn’t move on, and it’s not done with us yet.

SARS-CoV-2: The Architect of Immune Chaos

The virus doesn’t just waltz through the body; it dismantles the system designed to fight it. Imagine fire alarms that don’t go off and sprinklers that flood the room instead of dousing the flames.

• Delayed Interferons, Overzealous Cytokines: SARS-CoV-2 slows down interferons—the immune system’s first line of alarm—while sending cytokines into overdrive, turning inflammation into a wrecking ball.

• Exhausted T Cells: With every infection, your T cells—the body’s elite defense force—grow weary. Think of it as sending in soldiers who are running on fumes, no longer sharp enough to tackle the next invader.

• Aging the Immune System: Repeated battles with the virus don’t just leave the immune system tired—they age it prematurely, trading resilience for fragility.

The Chain Reaction: More Infections, Higher Stakes

A weakened immune system doesn’t just mean more colds. It means openings for diseases you thought you’d outgrown or could fend off easily:

• Respiratory Viruses Surge: RSV and flu have made a dramatic comeback, not because of “immunity debt” but because SARS-CoV-2 rewrote the immune system’s script.

• Bacterial Invaders: Strep A? It’s thriving, thanks to compromised immunity that’s less able to clear bacteria before they take hold.

And then there’s the looming specter of H5N1—a virus with a mortality rate that makes SARS-CoV-2 look merciful. In a world where immune systems are already fraying, H5N1 could be the match to the powder keg.

The Immune System’s Fragile Dance with Cancer

What’s often overlooked in the immune system’s damage report is how it plays referee against cancer. When those referees are sidelined:

• Tumors Evade Detection: Cancer cells become experts at blending in, exploiting weakened immune defenses to grow unchecked.

• Chronic Inflammation Fuels the Fire: Long COVID’s persistent inflammation doesn’t just linger—it lays the groundwork for tumor survival and growth.

• Depleted T Cells, Worsened Outcomes: The very cells designed to kill cancer are the ones SARS-CoV-2 hits hardest. The result? A potential increase in cancer progression and reduced efficacy of treatments.

This Isn’t Over: Why We Must Pay Attention

The SARS-CoV-2 pandemic isn’t “over.” It’s shape-shifted into a chronic problem, a long-haul disruptor of human health. From immune dysfunction to rising infections to cancer’s opportunistic growth, the echoes of this virus are far from fading. Add to this the threat of future pandemics and it becomes clear: ignoring the immune wreckage of COVID-19 isn’t just shortsighted—it’s reckless.

It’s time for vigilance, not just against this virus but against what comes next. Vaccines, therapies to restore immune balance, and public health strategies aren’t just buzzwords—they’re our lifeline in a world where the guardrails are already breaking.

Final Thought

When we say SARS-CoV-2 “changed the world,” we’re not just talking about masks and Zoom meetings. We’re talking about how it rewired the very thing meant to protect us. And if we don’t take the time to understand and address this silent damage, the next wave—be it from a new virus, cancer, or a resurgence of old foes—will find us woefully unprepared.

Sources

[1] SARS-CoV-2 and the host-immune response - Frontiers frontiersin.org/journals/immun…

[2] COVID-19 and Immune Dysregulation, a Summary and Resource whn.global/covid-19-and-i…

[3] The relationship between chronic immune response and ... pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC98…

[4] COVID Impacts: Immune - Memorial Sloan Kettering Library libguides.mskcc.org/CovidImpacts/I…

[5] New Research Shows How Cancer Rewires a Key Immune Pathway ... news.weill.cornell.edu/news/2023/08/n…

[6] Roles of the immune system in cancer: from tumor initiation to ... pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC61…

[7] COVID-19 disease and immune dysregulation - PMC pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC95…

[8] Cancer and the Immune System: Basic Concepts and Targets for ... pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC55…

[9] The immune system | Canadian Cancer Society cancer.ca/en/cancer-info…

David It Up @dave_it_up writes amazing well researched pieces that he posts on X. I am still on Twitter because of the health care professionals who still post there. This is why I wear an N95 mask in public places. He speaks for all those who have Long Covid who are too sick to speak for themselves.

[lover-of-mine]

these people literally drink stupid juice

I’m losing brain cells. I just watched this video. I’m literally, i have no words

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNC35Y84/

They said He was madly in love with her. That was the love of his life. He loved her and he was in love with her. It’s literally canon and explored at least once a season.

.: He was madly in love with her. That was the love of his life. He loved her and he was in love with her. It’s literally canon and explored at least once a season

.: You’re welcome to your opinion. He was in love with her, he’s also emotionally stunted. He can’t move on because he can’t get over her.

They ALSO said Hyperfixating? Yup.: Imma be so real with you, I don’t care enough about Eddie to care about his endgame. I like him, I’m not invested with his love life. But I do know his endgame won’t be with a man.

“But I do know his endgame won’t be with a man”. I responded with “ Imma be real with you, with all due respect, you’re talking in the same tone people talked about buck, before 7x04. That he’s not queer.“

Imma be real with you, I'm not gonna watch that, but of your bullet points, whatever way Eddie felt about Shannon does not matter towards his endgame in the big picture because she's dead. When Eddie is talking about the future in that scene, he uses gender neutral language. We saw that man have panic attacks about a woman. Have erectile dysfunction about another. People literally talked like that about Buck because Buck was a womanizer. Buck was established as a womanizer. He fucks 3 different women ON SCREEN in 2 episodes. And he's dating a man. If Buck can love women and apparently fuck half of Los Angeles and still date a guy, then why the fuck can't Eddie have loved his wife and also fall in love with a man?? Jesus. I'm against the Shannon erasure and I am a Eddie/Shannon defender, but 911 has a very specific way of dealing with love and the whole concept of someone being the "love of their life" that needs work. Shannon can't be the love of Eddie's life because love in the show is about making it work and Eddie and Shannon never figured out how to. Eddie never figured out how to give her what she needed and since she's dead, by definition she can't give him what he needs either. They loved each other but didn't know how to work through things. And they have been creating the contrast on the way Eddie dealt with Shannon/deals with Buck since Eddie was introduced. Buck and Eddie understand each other to an insane degree and we keep seeing them put in the work into loving each other. Their relationship is not just something that's happening to them, it is something they are actively choosing and that's the whole concept of love in the show. Eddie doesn't need to be gay, he just needs to love Buck. And we know he does. He has proved that already. At least they're honest about not caring about Eddie.

[bunnywip]

𝘼-𝙕 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 𝙊𝙁 𝘿𝙄𝙎𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙀𝙎/𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙉𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙀𝙎 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙎𝙄𝘾𝙆𝙁𝙄𝘾/𝙒𝙃𝙐𝙈𝙋

— A

Anemia.

Adenomyosis.

Asthma.

Arterial thrombosis.

Allergies.

Anxiety.

Angel toxicosis ( fictional ).

Acne.

Anorexia nervosa.

Anthrax.

Atma virus ( fictional ).

ADHD.

Agoraphobia.

Astrocytoma.

AIDS.

— B

Breast cancer.

Bunions.

Borderline personality disorder.

Botulism.

Barrett's esophagus.

Bowel polyps.

Brucellosis.

Bipolar disorder.

Bronchitis.

Bacterial vaginosis.

Binge eating disorder.

— C

Crohn's disease.

Conjunctivitis.

Coronavirus disease.

Coeliac disease.

Chronic migranes.

Coup.

Cushing syndrome.

Cystic fibrosis.

Cellulitis.

Coma.

Cooties  ( fictional ).

COPD.

Chickenpox.

Cholera.

Cerebral palsy.

Chlamydia.

Constipation.

Cancer.

Common cold.

Chronic pain.

— D

Diabetes.

Dyslexia.

Dissociative identify disorder.

Dengue fever.

Delirium.

Deep vein thrombosis.

Dementia.

Dysthimia.

Diphtheria.

Diarrhoea.

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder.

Dyspraxia.

Dehydration.

— E

Ebola.

Endometriosis.

Epilepsy.

E-coli.

Ectopic pregnancy.

Enuresis.

Erectile dysfunction.

Exzema.

— F

Fusobacterium infection.

Filariasis.

Fibromyalgia.

Fascioliasis.

Fever.

Food poisoning.

Fatal familial insomnia.

— G

Gonorrhoea.

Ganser syndrome.

Gas gangrene.

Giardiasis.

Gastroesophageal reflux disease.

Gall stones.

Glandular fever.

Greyscale ( fictional ).

Glanders.

— H

Hookworm infection.

Hand, foot and mouth disease.

Hypoglycaemia.

Herpes.

Headache.

Hanahaki disease ( fictional ).

Hyperhidrosis.

Heat stroke.

Heat exhaustion.

Heart failure.

High blood pressure.

Human papillomavirus infection.

Hypersomnia.

HIV.

Heart failure.

Hay fever.

Hepatitis.

Hemorrhoids.

— I

Influenza.

Iron deficiency anemia.

Indigestion.

Inflammatory bowel disease.

Insomnia.

Irritable bowel syndrome.

Intercranial hypertension.

Impetigo.

— K

Keratitis.

Kidney stones.

Kidney infection.

Kawasaki disease.

Kaposi's sarcoma.

— L

Lyme disease.

Lassa fever.

Low blood pressure.

Lupus.

Lactose intolerance.

Lymphatic filariasis.

Leprosy.

— M

Measles.

Mad cow disease.

Mumps.

Major depressive disorder.

Malaria.

Malnutrition.

Motor neurone disease.

Mutism.

Mouth ulcer.

Monkeypox.

Multiple sclerosis.

Meningitis.

Menopause.

Mycetoma.

— N

Norovirus.

Nipah virus infection.

Narcolepsy.

Nosebleed.

Nocardiosis.

— O

Obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Osteoporosis.

Ovarian cyst.

Overactive thyroid.

Oral thrush.

Otitis externa.

— P

Pancreatic cancer.

Pneumonia.

Pelvic inflammatory disease.

PICA.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.

Psoriasis.

Parkinson's disease.

Panic disorder.

Polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Plague.

Postpartum depression.

Pediculosis capitis.

Psychosis.

Post-traumatic stress disorder.

— Q

Q fever.

Quintan fever.

— R

Rubella.

Rabbit fever.

Rotavirus infection.

Ringworm.

Restless legs syndrome.

Rhinovirus infection.

Rosacea.

Relapsing fever.

Rheumatoid arthritis.

Rabies.

— S

Shingles.

Sore throat.

Stutter.

Separation anxiety disorder.

Smallpox.

Scoliosis.

Septic shock.

Shigellosis.

Sepsis.

Social anxiety disorder.

Stroke.

Scarlet fever.

Schizophrenia.

Sleep apnea.

Sun burn.

Syphilis.

Sickle cell disease.

Scabies.

Selective mutism.

Salmonella.

Sensory processing disorder.

— T

Thyroid cancer.

Tuberculosis.

Thirst.

Trichuriasis.

Tinea pedis.

Tourette's syndrome.

Trachoma.

Tetanus.

Toxic shock syndrome.

Tinnitus.

Thyroid disease.

Typhus fever.

Tonsillitis.

Thrush.

— U

Urinary tract infection.

Underactive thyroid.

— V

Valley fever.

Vertigo.

Vomiting.

— W

White piedra.

Withdrawal.

Whooping cough.

West nile fever.

— X

Xerophthalmia.

— Y

Yersiniosis.

Yellow fever.

— Z

Zygomycosis.

Zika fever.

Zeaspora.

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

Medical innovations and scientific advances at Harvard Medical School through the decades (Part 2 of 2)

1995 Triple-organ transplant; kidney disease blood glucose levels

1996 How cells sense oxygen; Alzheimer's treatments; immune system advances

1997 p73 gene; aspirin

1998 Adult live-donor liver transplant

1999 Fluorescent molecular probes

2000 Brain abnormalities associated with abuse and neglect

2001 Circadian clock

2002 Rheumatoid arthritis pathway; C-reactive protein

2003 Multi-drug-resistant tuberculosis treatment; source of pre-eclampsia

2004 Blood stem cells; protein transfer

2005 Prenatal nutrition; herpes vaccine candidate

2006 Cholesterol mechanism; DNA sequencing techniques

2007 Cellular switch; rheumatoid arthritis gene; brown-fat cell switch

2008 RIPKI inhibitors; metastatic melanoma remission

2009 LIN28 protein; RNA interference; cancer cells' starvation; brown fat

2010 Enhancer transcription

2011 Kidney failure markers; cancer cell vulnerability; global health care budget models

2012 Tumour suppressor gene p53; ancient migration; infectious disease diagnostics

2013 Cardiac hypertrophy reversal; cathepsin k pathways

2014 Hematopoietic stem cells; pancreatic stem cells

2015 Bioartificial replacement limb; PD-1 pathway; The Lancet Commission on Global Surgery; pseudogene; damaged protein disposal; multiple sclerosis; somatic mutations; deafness gene therapies

2016 Sigma-1 receptor structure; Zika vaccine candidate; circadian rhythm-bipolar disorder link; microbiome

2017 Unlocking the blood-brain barrier; deciphering the structure of a scissor like enzyme

2018 The 'graying' of T cells; From one cell, a detailed road map

2019 Finding herpes' Achilles' heel; viral peptides critical to natural HIV control

2020 How COVID causes loss of smell; obesity fuels tumour growth; heart muscle dysfunction

2021 SARS-CoV-2 vaccine; immune evasion; AI gene interpretation; radiation vulnerability

2022 Fruit fly cell atlas; viral infection on video; boot camp for immune cells

2023 How the brain senses infection; new origin of breast cancer; the microbiome and cancer immunotherapy

[compneuropapers]

Interesting Papers for Week 6, 2024

Visual velocity perception dysfunction in Parkinson’s disease. Bernardinis, M., Atashzar, S. F., Jog, M. S., & Patel, R. V. (2023). Behavioural Brain Research, 452, 114490.

A mathematical formula of plasticity: Measuring susceptibility to change in mental health and data science. Branchi, I. (2023). Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 152, 105272.

Impaired salience network switching in psychopathy. Deming, P., Cook, C. J., Meyerand, M. E., Kiehl, K. A., Kosson, D. S., & Koenigs, M. (2023). Behavioural Brain Research, 452, 114570.

Pinging the brain to reveal the hidden attentional priority map using encephalography. Duncan, D. H., van Moorselaar, D., & Theeuwes, J. (2023). Nature Communications, 14, 4749.

Brain criticality predicts individual levels of inter-areal synchronization in human electrophysiological data. Fuscà, M., Siebenhühner, F., Wang, S. H., Myrov, V., Arnulfo, G., Nobili, L., … Palva, S. (2023). Nature Communications, 14, 4736.

A cell-type-specific error-correction signal in the posterior parietal cortex. Green, J., Bruno, C. A., Traunmüller, L., Ding, J., Hrvatin, S., Wilson, D. E., … Harvey, C. D. (2023). Nature, 620(7973), 366–373.

Functional modules for visual scene segmentation in macaque visual cortex. Hesse, J. K., & Tsao, D. Y. (2023). Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 120(32), e2221122120.

Experimental validation of the free-energy principle with in vitro neural networks. Isomura, T., Kotani, K., Jimbo, Y., & Friston, K. J. (2023). Nature Communications, 14, 4547.

Crows flexibly apply statistical inferences based on previous experience. Johnston, M., Brecht, K. F., & Nieder, A. (2023). Current Biology, 33(15), 3238-3243.e3.

Stimulus edges induce orientation tuning in superior colliculus. Liang, Y., Lu, R., Borges, K., & Ji, N. (2023). Nature Communications, 14, 4756.

People can use the placement of objects to infer communicative goals. Lopez-Brau, M., & Jara-Ettinger, J. (2023). Cognition, 239, 105524.

Metacognitive awareness in the sound-induced flash illusion. Maynes, R., Faulkner, R., Callahan, G., Mims, C. E., Ranjan, S., Stalzer, J., & Odegaard, B. (2023). Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 378(1886).

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Boosting Serotonin Increases Information Gathering by Reducing Subjective Cognitive Costs. Michely, J., Martin, I. M., Dolan, R. J., & Hauser, T. U. (2023). Journal of Neuroscience, 43(32), 5848–5855.

Causal inference during closed-loop navigation: parsing of self- and object-motion. Noel, J.-P., Bill, J., Ding, H., Vastola, J., DeAngelis, G. C., Angelaki, D. E., & Drugowitsch, J. (2023). Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 378(1886).

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Non-shared coding of observed and executed actions prevails in macaque ventral premotor mirror neurons. Pomper, J. K., Shams, M., Wen, S., Bunjes, F., & Thier, P. (2023). eLife, 12, e77513.

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NMDA-driven dendritic modulation enables multitask representation learning in hierarchical sensory processing pathways. Wybo, W. A. M., Tsai, M. C., Tran, V. A. K., Illing, B., Jordan, J., Morrison, A., & Senn, W. (2023). Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 120(32), e2300558120.

[jcsmicasereports]

Hydroxyurea and Sperm Abnormalities in Patients with Sickle Cell Disease by Dr. Salma M. AlDallal in Journal of Clinical Case Reports Medical Images and Health Sciences 

ABSTRACT

Hydroxyurea is a key treatment option for patients having sickle cell disease. Although the treatment has been effective in improving the survival rate, new concerns over improving quality of life are forthcoming due to spermatogenesis-related toxicities and teratogenic effects. The available evidence shows that hydroxyurea might exacerbate the existing sperm abnormalities. There is a lack of comprehensive, systemic evidence to demonstrate the precise effects and role of hydroxyurea on sperm abnormalities in patients with sickle cell disease. Patients and healthcare providers require accurate and extensive information on sperm-related toxicities to make informed decisions. Here, I discuss the effects of hydroxyurea (HU) on sperm parameters, clinical study evidence, and treatment options available for fertility preservation in these patients.

Keywords: Sickle cell disease, Hydroxyurea, Sperm abnormalities

INTRODUCTION

Sickle cell disease (SCD) is a group of genetic blood disorders that leads to abnormality in hemoglobin. In patients with SCD, newer medical treatments have improved survival rates and quality of life along with a reduced disease-related morbidity. Consequently, the focus of the treatment is diverging to encompass the reproductive issues associated with these treatments. In adolescents and young patients with SCD, sexual maturation is delayed by 1.5-2 years [1, 2], and approximately 24% of SCD patients may have hypogonadism, infertility, erectile dysfunction, and poor libido [3]. The issues related to fertility and reproductive organs in SCD are either related to disease or to the treatments used to treat SCD-related morbidity.

Reduced SCD-related morbidity has been observed with treatments like hydroxyurea (HU) and hematopoietic stem cell transplantation (HSCT). However, adverse effects and toxicities associated with these therapies are a concern. HU use has been associated with sperm abnormalities and teratogenic effects [4, 5]. However, HU affects rapidly dividing cells, raising concerns about related toxicities. Therefore, it is essential to evaluate if there is an exacerbation of fertility problems in men with SCD. This review summarizes the spermatogenic effects of HU in males with SCD.

Fertility issues in males with SCD

Some of the disease-related fertility issues observed in patients with SCD are hypogonadism, sperm abnormalities, erectile dysfunction, delay in sexual maturation, and abnormal hormone (testosterone, follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), and luteinizing hormone (LH)) levels.

The sperm abnormality rate is as high as 91% in males with SCD [6]. Although some reports attribute sperm abnormalities to delayed puberty in males with SCD [7], some others attribute it to testicular infarction or hypogonadism. It is also worth noting that sperm abnormalities also exist with normal testosterone, FSH, and LH levels [8].

In addition to sperm abnormalities, the incidence of erectile dysfunction in men with SCD is reported to be 21%–35% [9-11]. Also, a decrease in semen is reported in men with SCD [12]. Laboratory findings show low testosterone levels with variable FSH and LH levels. Moreover, abnormalities in accessory organs like seminal vesicles and prostate glands may be present due to recurrent urinary tract infections. These reproductive issues are exacerbated by therapies like HU, which have therapeutic effects through impairing DNA synthesis.

HU in treatment of SCD

HU is approved for the prevention of vaso-occlusive pain in SCD. HU is a ribonucleotide reductase inhibitor that impairs DNA synthesis due to its S-phase-specific cytotoxic action. It is an antimitotic agent that can impair human spermatogenesis. It is a disease-modifying therapy that decreases episodes of acute pain and acute chest syndrome in SCD patients [13]. The HU therapy increases the fetal haemoglobin, which does not sickle under low oxygen tension. Low-dose HU therapy (10 mg/kg/day) has been effective in improving clinical and hematological parameters, reducing painful crises, and reducing blood transfusion requirements in SCD patients. Although HU has improved the quality of life and survival rate, its use is limited by its toxicities, particularly its effect on fertility parameters.

SCD itself manifests in some abnormalities like spermatogenesis, and seminal fluid, which may be exacerbated with cytotoxic HU therapy. HU is associated with abnormal sperm morphology [14] and a decrease in sperm count [14-16] in patients with SCD. At a therapeutic dose, it has short-lived, irregular cytotoxic effects on dividing cells [4]. Since it is an antimetabolite, it is hypothesized to have a risk of affecting sperm development [4]. These effects are often brief and reversible with discontinuation of the drug administration.

Infertility in Men with SCD

Although HU treatment has improved outcomes in patients with SCD, it has been associated with effects on spermatogenesis and teratogenicity, for example, testicular atrophy, hypogonadism, decreased sperm count, abnormal sperm motility, and abnormal sperm morphology.

Hypogonadism

Male hypogonadism is decreased functional activity of the gonads that results in a testosterone deficiency. Testosterone deficiency can cause infertility, muscle wasting, and the absence of secondary sex characteristics. The mechanism for the cause of hypogonadism may be primary gonadal failure [17-19], repeated testicular infarction [20], zinc deficiency [21, 22], and partial hypothalamic hypogonadism [23].

Abnormal spermatogenesis

Impaired spermatogenesis has been reported in male patients with SCD receiving HU therapy, which leads to testicular atrophy, oligozoospermia (low sperm count), abnormal sperm morphology, and azoospermia (decreased sperm motility) [6, 15, 16, 24-31]. It is yet unclear if the abnormalities directly affect HU therapy. However, some researchers believe that the extent of sperm abnormalities might be associated with the length of HU therapy [29, 30]. Since SCD is a genetic condition manifesting at an early age, the duration of HU therapy remains long.

Abnormal Hormone level

A few studies have reported altered levels of testosterone and dihydrotestosterone, FSH, and LH in patients with SCD [12, 32, 33]. The testosterone levels have a direct effect on fertility [6], reduction in semen volume, sperm count, and motility in sickle cell male patients [10].

Priapism

Priapism is defined as a prolonged and lasting continued penile erection unrelated to sexual interest or stimulation [34]. The prevalence of priapism and erectile dysfunction in patients with SCD is 45% and 30%, respectively [35-37].

Penile erection is regulated by the neurotransmitter nitric oxide (NO). In SCD patients, the bioavailability of NO is decreased, disturbing the relaxation of penile smooth muscle [38, 39]. Also, the adenosine regulation pathway might be contributing to the pathophysiology of priapism in SCD patients.

Studies evaluating the effect of HU therapy on spermatogenesis SCD patients

Several studies have reported the role of HU in the exacerbation of various sperm abnormalities in patients with SCD. A non-interventional study (ESCORT-HU-European Sickle Cell Disease Cohort-Hydroxyurea) evaluated safety, morbidity, and mortality in 422 SCD patients of age 15years and older treated with HU [40, 41]. The study reported 67 pre-treatment and 24 during treatment semen analyses. Before treatment with HU, 49% of sperm analyses were normal, and 25% were abnormal (at least 1 abnormality: sperm mobility, sperm count, appearance). The rate of abnormalities during HU treatment increased to 50%. The abnormalities observed were asthenospermia, hypospermia, oligospermia, azoospermia, and atypical forms. These results confirmed that sperm abnormalities are exacerbated after HU treatment.

A prospective, Phase 4 multicentre study called HYDREP (NCT01609192) assessed the effect of HU treatment in patients with SCD [42]. The study reported a significant and rapid decrease in mean total sperm count from 129.8 million at baseline to 24.1 million at month 6. Furthermore, 86% of patients had an abnormal value of total sperm count at month 6 compared to only 40% at baseline. Researchers also found that 6 months of HU treatment did not affect the semen volume. They reported that the treatment of SCD with HU causes significant abnormality in spermatogenesis. After treatment, the number of men with abnormal total sperm count and cryptozoospermia increased to 30 patients and 5 patients, respectively. Additionally, six patients (17%) became azoospermic, and 19 were oligozoospermic.

An unmatched case-control study in Nigeria compared serum testosterone concentration among 47 patients with hemoglobin phenotype SS and 28 volunteers with hemoglobin phenotype AA [43]. The concentrations of serum testosterone in 44 of 47 hemoglobin phenotype SS patients were significantly lower as compared to 7 of 28 volunteers with hemoglobin phenotype AA.

A group of researchers evaluated the effect of long-term HU treatment from childhood to adult age in four patients [44]. These patients were receiving HU treatment for more than 8 years. They observed that two patients experienced severe oligozoospermia and two azoospermia. The treatment exposure in patients experiencing oligozoospermia was shorter (8 and 9 years) compared to patients experiencing azoospermia (12 and 15 years). There was also an increased percentage of abnormal spermatozoa morphology in these patients.

Furthermore, a study assessed spermatogonial quantity in prepubertal patients who received alkylating agents to compare with patients who received non-alkylating agents. They demonstrated that the quantity of spermatogonia per transverse tubular cross-section was significantly low in patients with SCD receiving hydroxyurea (0.3 ± 0.6, n = 6; P = 0.008) [45].Contrarily, a recent study reported no difference in semen volume, sperm concentration, total sperm count, or spermatozoa motility, morphology, and vitality between patients with SCD who received HU before puberty and who did not receive HU during puberty [46].

Semen analysis

A significant reduction in sperm density, ejaculate volume, sperm motility was reported in the SCD patients compared to the control subjects [43]. Likewise, some former studies that performed semen analysis in men with SCA reported a reduction in sperm motility, sperm density, and sperm morphology [44]. Similarly, Osegbe et al. and Agbaraji et al. analyzed sperm density, motility, morphology, and semen volume in patients with SCD. They reported a decrease in sperm motility, sperm density, and abnormal morphology in patients with SCD. [12, 47] Osegbe et al. observed no difference in semen volume [33]. Additionally, Friedman et al. reported oligospermia in 3 out of 4 patients with SCD [47].

Similar to Osegbe et al., a recent study also reported a normal volume of ejaculate in 75% of the samples of SCD patients. However, all sperm parameters during HU treatment were affected [47]. There were no incidents of azoospermia in five patients, although a marked decrease in sperm density during the HU treatment compared to before the HU treatment was reported. Interrupting HU treatment did not help recuperate the sperm parameters to initial levels.

However, before HU was established as a standard of care to treat SCD, subfertile range sperm parameters had been reported in patients. More recent studies have reported at least one abnormal sperm parameter in about 90% of patients [47].

HU treatment, even in low doses, exacerbates sperm parameters abnormalities in SCD patients. Therefore, routine seminal fluid parameters assessment is recommended to monitor sperm parameter changes during treatment with HU.

Treatments Available

For patients who have abnormal spermatogenesis due to their underlying condition or treatment of the conditions, the option of fertility preservation can be considered. The “optimal” age for fertility preservation is still a discussion. Below are some of the options available [46]-

Erectile dysfunction can be managed with penile implants effectively

Testicular tissue cryopreservation

Gonadal shielding

Sperm cryopreservation

Testicular sperm extraction

Electroejaculation- electrical current to trigger ejaculation.

Symptoms of hypogonadism can be treated with testosterone undecanoate injections12 and clomiphene13

In prepubertal males, patients have very limited experimental options, for example, removal and preservation of part of the testicle [47]. However, there have been no reports of live human births from re-implanted testicular tissue yet.

Counseling about infertility risk associated with the disease and treatments, and options for fertility preservation is important in these situations. Many unresolved ethical dilemmas arise for pediatric patients regarding counseling about fertility issues and preservation. The first dilemma is with whom the responsibility of making the decision should rest. Although some guidelines consider it should be parents, often patients (mostly children in case of SCD) and parents may have different opinions and choices. The American Academy of Pediatrics has published guidelines encouraging healthcare providers to discuss the issues and options with patients and guardians [48].

Since fertility preservation may not be feasible in all cases of SCD, regular monitoring for sperm abnormalities during HU therapy has been suggested.

Conclusions

HU has significantly improved the treatment outcomes in SCD patients. However, some concerns regarding the cytotoxic effects of HU on spermatogenesis emerge. Extensive research is required to evaluate the before and after treatment sperm parameters and the effects of treatment with HU on spermatogenesis.

Newer medical advances have improved survival rates and reduced disease-related morbidity in SCD patients, bringing reproductive issues to the forefront. Prospective, large population-based studies among patients with SCD are required to determine cellular and functional impairment of fertility and evaluate the impact of HU therapy on the impairment.

The clinical practice and future research should be streamlined to focus on improving the quality of life along with the prognosis of the patients. The patient-centric research will help in better management and treatment of patients with SCD with HU therapy.

[crypticdesire]

Honestly would love to see a top reader and bottom Kifaji similar w/the breeding/pregnancy kinks going on in the Mozus Trein fic, considering no one gives enough love to the bird man :,,,)

oh anon i love you for this ask 🩷

this is kifaji from twisted wonderland that anon is talking about:

i've seen kifaji before but i didn't look into his character since he was in a jp server event and ngl i didn't know if i'd like him with him being based off of zazu from the lion king. i like/don't mind that zazu is stern, diplomatic, and loyal; however, i'm not the biggest fan of his pompous attitude, temper, and panic induced irritability

BUT with that being said, out of respect for a fellow appreciator of old men, i couldn't not look more into kifaji since you like him, and i was pleasantly surprised !! i don't really mind twst spoilers, especially when it comes to events, so i read a translation of the tamashina-mina event to get to know kifaji's character (which can be found here if anyone else is interested)

!! warning !! a couple of very minor spoilers ahead for that event, which aren't related to the event's plot

like i mentioned before, i was afraid that i would find his character annoying but i'm glad you made me challenge that assumption bc there were so many golden moments in the event, especially relating to kifaji's relationship to leona!!

i loved the fact that he taught leona chess and the fact that kid leona cried when he lost to kifaji. too adorable 🥹 and seeing his dynamic with leona and cheka made me think it is totally plausible that kifaji could have some major mommy potential and baby fever hehe. and i already know i'd have so much fun writing dialogue for him given what i read in the event

so anon, thanks to you, i will definitely be writing a fic for kifaji ! i don't officially take requests but i'd like to write something you'd like, since you brought this breedable bird man to my attention. i know you mentioned breeding kink and pregnancy kink, but i also know my trein fic had other kinks like emeto and piss so feel free to lmk if there's other kinks you want or not want included :))

also the fact that kifaji is a bird man sent me down a rabbit hole looking at mating habits of african red-billed hornbills, so i'm gonna ramble about that for a sec bc i was getting multiple fic ideas based off of what i found...

first of all, i was surprised i didn't know until now that only 3% of bird species have external sex organs. apparently while they're embryos they have a gene that stops cells from developing a penis. some scientists think this evolution happened bc females preferred males with smaller penises so they could have more control over who they'd pick as a mate (🗣️ make some noise for micro penises 🫶)

also fun side note: birds with a penis get an erection from lymphatic fluid instead of a rush of blood, which means they have trouble keeping an erection and only last a few seconds during copulation (veryyyy old man coded with the great combo of erectile dysfunction + low stamina + quick to cum)

birds without external sex organs just have an avian vent/cloaca that swells and sticks out during mating season. their copulation is referred to as a "cloacal kiss" bc they just rub their cloacas together to stimulate the flow of sperm into the female's cloaca. they only have one sex position where the male perches on top of the female who moves their feathers to one side to expose their cloaca (i can't be the only one that reads that and thinks of hairy t4t sex right?)

they have sex several times for about a week to ensure the sperm takes and, for african red-billed hornbills, the male finds the nest site

the rest of this is also specific to the african red-billed hornbills where they make a nest in a natural cavity and the female is blocked inside by a plaster of mud until the eggs hatch. they just leave a narrow opening for the male to put food into. (some inspo for some stuffing ideas) the females also moult while they're stuck inside and regrow their feathers back when they leave the nest after the hatching

so yeah that info is giving me lots of thoughts and ideas for the old bird man👍

[37q]

i want a word for that whole set of autoimmune / nervous disorders that are oddly concurrent. like POTS, ehlers danlos, mast cell activation, lupus, t-cell, connective tissue... and that's not even getting into the obvious shared psychiatric signs too. but what do these sites of bodily dysfunction have in common...?

[red-moon-shine]

Caeruleo sanguine

The blood of the cursed

-X-

ATTENTION AND DISCLAIMER TO THE READER

This post may contain upseting or sensitive themes that arent for everyone,specially medicaly centered themes that can be acurrate or be off point.

Aswell this is to remember you that this is a FICTIONAL illness that should not be used or taken as something serious,specially since im not a profesional in any of the media used as base and i can get something wrong.

Discreation is adviced,read this under your own risk.

Stages from 0 to 20

STAGE 0: infecion

As name suggest the stage 0 is were it all beggins and the infecion starts.

Said infecion happens in the exact moment a droplet of blood from an already infected irken enters inside a wound or via consumsion from a non infected irken.

afther a couple of days the first stage starts to manifest

STAGE 1:blood coloration starts turning blue

As mentioned the color of the newly infected irkens blood starts turning from the normal reddish magenta into a shiny and almost flourescent light almost turquoise color.

this makes blood transfusions complicated since is needed that another infected irken gives its blood.

STAGE 2:anemia

The level of blood cells on the irken starts decrease agresively making the irkens weaker and more pale,this also increases the probabilitys of them getting sick.

they also may need a blood transfusion once in a time and as a try to recompose them special pills or medicines in tries to recover them from this affection.

STAGE 3:fevers|frequently sick

The irken starts to fall in bed frequently with really high fevers that can drive to halucinations or deliriums,also really bad illnesscan stick to them more easy since their defense sistem is a disaster.

STAGE 4:fatigue and insomnia

Intense imsonia starts to manifest said imsonia making it imposible to sleep in periods as long as months that eventually cause intense fatigue due to the lack of sleep.

STAGE 5:narcolepsy

This one is attached to the previous stage,the subject starts to fall sleep afther a long imsonia period.

Happening wherever and whenever in any given moment they could end up asleep in the same position they were this including standing or the position they chose to sleep.

STAGE 6:involuntary weight loss|almost no weight gain

As name of this stage may sujest the irken infected suddenly starts losing inmense amounts of weight out of nowhere,weight wich they cannot recover easily despite over eating.

STAGE 7:permanent hunger|over eating

The subject is always in a permanent state of hunger that cannot be fulled causing them to over eat but due to stage 6 they gain no weight and instead of gaining it they loose it.

STAGE 8:aggressivness|emotional dysfunction

Irkens on this stage become emotionaly unstable and potentially dangerous due to them suddenly becoming agresive towards anyone around them or even to themself.

other emotions apart from anger surge such as dispair,sadness and anguish burning fierciely till they manifest agresive responses from them.

STAGE 9:burning cronic pain

Patients describe it as being wraped in burning red barbed wire in all their body or as being burned alive.

this pain dosen´t disapear no matter what and it suddenly comes in burst,pain killers can fight it for a short time but not for forever,not taking in count that strong painkillers are needed for the task.

STAGE 10:cardiac and breating problems

The tittle kinda expalins by itself but,the irkens start experimenting chest pain and fast heart beats as well great dificulty breating without help of a mask or air filter.

STAGE 11:fainting out of nowhere

Irkens start fainting out of their sences in the most random of moments during this stage,they just faint or black out in any given moment like if they were computers that were disconected of the wall.

Tho they can faint in dangerous situacions pting their life at risk if they are in a complicated zone in wich they can fall unconcious at any given moment without warning.

STAGE 12:bleedings

During this stage the patient starts bleeding out in diferent way like starting to cough,throwing up their blood in big or small amounts,aswell they bleed through their eyes as if they were criying.

This can happen ramdomly and without warning specially the eye bleeding since theres no way of controling it similar to the blood coughing,while puking the blood will give certain sings to be prepared before it happens.

STAGE 13:paranoia

Irkens on this stage start feeling like they were being watched or followed everywhere they go making them feel anxious and unsafe at wherever they are even in their own house or even if they are completly alone,this makes them to be always alert and tense.

This sometimes can get worse under high levels of stress and can lead to them having a panic attack or a mental breakdown due to the paranoia increasing till is unvearable.

Special meds might be requiered.

STAGE 14:visual and auditive halucinations

At this stage the infected start at first hearing whispers and seing shadow figures at the corner of their eye,but it rapidly goes intense since from whispers they become clear voices that can shout loudly and visions of clear beings that can roam frealy on the vision of the irken.

The hallucinations can involve personal things such as memories long forgotten,nightmares and things happened in the routine,the sounds can be gentle or angry voices aswell loud or quiet sounds of objects fallng or moving.

Special meds might be requiered.

STAGE 15:inhability to feel external pain

The irken becomes unable to feel any form of damage that comes from outside the own body like being stabbed,they do not feel the stabbing perce but they later do feel the pain of the burning of a open wound provoqued naturally by the body.

This can be dangerous since they are unable to notice if they are injured as esily as other more normal irkens do,since their pain percepcion is screwed.

STAGE 16:hability to spreed the illness

At this point the blood is totally that bright blue and if they touch someone in an open wound while bleading or someone consumes their blood they will become infected and will end up just like them.

so at this point they try their best for no one except themselfs to touch their wounds.

STAGE 17:psicosis

During this stage theres certain probability that the irkens start experiencing psicotic attacks that result in them usually attacking others or their own selfs since they at this point may go berserk and don´t recognize their own body.

During s psicotic attack they can eviscerate their own eyes in the middle of the psicotic attack pluking them off or stabbing them with their claws so is remomended to try and put them down before they do this.

Special meds might be requiered.

STAGE 18:disociative amnesia

In this poitn the irkens might loose part of their most tresusred or important memories,this involucrating their own name or the name of their loved ones,their age or who they are.

They can also forget total things such as crusial parts of their past and some of their present,aswell they can replace some memories for others or accidentaly distord already stablished memories and belive they are the actual ones.

STAGE 19:suicidal attitudes

This explains a bit by its own,but the irkens start showing suicidal thoughts and attitudes that lead them into going straight into dangerous sittuacions in hopes to be killed,they can also attempt to end their lifes so is advised that they arent left alone.

Special meds might be requiered in order to try and fight their desires to end their lifes tho they arent always needed.

STAGE 20:death

Arriving this stage irkens get weaker and weaker trough the process of a whole year and soon hits a total malfunction in all the body that leads to a coma that afther a month ends in the dead of the irken.

Reference images

Potential origin and posible patient cero

The origins of this sickness are still discused and deeply unknown but there are certain theories about how this sickness reached the irkens.

The first one is that it comes from the golden era of explorers,in wich in an expedition explorers fell into a planet infected by this illness and that one of them got infected with it tranmiting it to the others eventually.

This theory is the most belivable since this sickness was pretty common beyond the explorers so its posible this is the true answer.

Other theory propoces that its one of the only illness that survived in the irkens like the common flu did and that despite all the years of cloning it didn´t disapear.

The patient zero of this second theory is always a random smeet that was born with this affection and wich later transmited the illness around.

Irkens infected in between my ocs

Ikarus

Ikarus was an explorer thing thatgot her infected at a young age,she died around her 30´s when mis and his twins were 5 and take 3,she killed herself afther a psicotic attack in wich she almost killed her older son mis suiciding right in front of his eyes.

Mis and Ael

Mis and Ael got both infected at the age of 5 via a open wound his mother caused them both witnesing her die,they are both currently on stage 19 and are close to reaching stage 20,both are patiently wainting till their end.

-X-

thats all for today have a nice day,touch some grass and drink some water.

Fox out