#TELL ME HOW LOVELY HE IS I NEED YOUR PASTY ASS TO SAY IT

[laurents-secret-diary]

oh damen we're really in it now.mp4

[vaspider]

Last year I wrote about what happened at Pride when a couple of kids didn't understand why us older folx were so bitter about Reagan.

This year, I have something a little softer.

Someone who looked a little older than me came up to the booth wearing a pink t-shirt proclaiming him one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco chapter. As I was ringing him up, I asked if he'd been involved for a while.

"Yes," he said, "for a bit," in that way us middle-aged people do when we're sort of wincing and feeling old.

"Okay, well," I said, sitting at my register in my queer booth full of queer clothes and patches and pins, topless in public for the first time. (I had pasties on for my own comfort bc I was working, but I live in the city of the Naked Bike Ride, and I took full advantage). My baby brother and both of my partners ran around behind me, my brother wearing a loose tank top that makes his scars visible.

"I need to tell you that you all helped keep me alive."

He blinked at me as I continued, "I was a kid in high school in the early 90s. I lived in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania, and what you all were doing was so loud and so out there that even I heard about your work. It was one of the things that kept me alive. So thank you, and please thank the rest of the Sisters."

I heard about them through people in my parents' church complaining about them, and then I sought more information through the beginning of the internet, through newspapers, through anything I could find. I found the cover of Newsweek that one of the Sisters was on. I read about their "exorcism" of fundamentalist preachers whose books sat on the shelf in my parents' basement and probably still do. I saw how loud and colorful and unapologetically queer they were.

The knowledge that someone was out there, so full of defiant joy, refusing the shame that people kept trying to put on them? Oh, that kept me alive. I saw them, and I knew I could make it through. I wrapped my hands around that knowledge, and I held on so tight.

It took me a long time - a long, long time - to unwind most of it for myself and get to the point where my fat butch ass was sitting bare-chested in the July breeze, looking up at him as he held out his arms and said "you're actually giving me chills." I answered, "I mean every word. You helped keep me alive. So thank you."

I never know what to say when people come up to me in public and tell me that I helped them or changed their life in some way. I appreciate it, and I genuinely love the people who apologized for "fanpersoning" at me last weekend, I just never know what to say. I'm incredibly grateful that the Sister I spoke to was incredibly gracious, saying "usually we give blessings, but I feel like you blessed me." Another member of the party let me pet their tiny dog, who was not very interested in me, and that's okay. It was an overwhelming day. Then, they moved on.

Me? I'm still sitting with the fact that I looked last weekend into the faces of people who didn't know they were holding my head above water, and that I got to tell them the work they do matters. It's a rare thing to get to tell someone, "You saved me," and I'm treasuring it.

Last weekend, I wore my new battle vest with nothing underneath it, unless it was too hot, and then I just sat in my chair, chatting and ringing ppl out with my skin free to the air. I decided last year that top surgery isn't for me, but that also I'm going to love this body unapologetically, and it's no less a transmasculine body because the soft new dark hair on my belly isn't accompanied by pink scars along my ribs.

I didn't get here on my own. I got here because someone else cut through the undergrowth ahead of me so I could take another step forward. Here I am, decades later, still taking step after step, one at a time, and trying to lay paving stones behind me.

Last weekend was another step along that way, another step through unwinding the fear and shame and sadness that my parents and their church built into me. Another step out of hating myself for hiding parts of myself for so long, for acting out in other ways to distract people from my queerness, for feeling so much guilt when other people tell me I'm brave, because I know how much of myself I hid for how long because I was a coward, because I was afraid.

Another step into expiating stigmatic guilt.

[podcastenthusiast]

First part of a Astarion/Karlach thing I'm writing. Basically a little rewrite of some Act 3 scenes. Could become something bigger, who knows.

--

"Well, at least you've met my family now," Astarion says. "Pity. You and Violet would get on quite well. Haha."

His tone is light and dismissive, especially for a midnight familial attempted kidnapping. But there's a desperate edge to it, too, like he's worried she might finally see sense and run for the hills.

Karlach's never been accused of being sensible. If Astarion burning his brother in a sunbeam while his sister screamed didn't scare her off, this little evening interruption sure won't.

Karlach does hope she will have a chance to meet his siblings properly, once they're all free.

"I wouldn't've let them take you anywhere," she vows, chest heaving, still very much caught up in protective Mama K mode.

"I know. Deep breaths, darling."

Astarion still looks wary, as if he's expecting the other shoe to drop. She can't cool down, she realizes, not yet, because she's still angry.

Angry at him.

"You lied to them. About the ritual. Like it was easy."

He scoffs. "It was easy. They aren't exactly the brightest candles in the chandelier, you know."

"You're really gonna sacrifice your own brothers and sisters? Betray their trust in you like--like they're nothing." Like Gortash did, she thinks but doesn't say. There are some words you can't take back. She loves this pasty bastard too much to actually believe he'd go through with it, anyway.

"What does it matter? They're just my...colleagues in suffering. Expendable. Pathetic." Oh, Astarion's giving her the old monster routine, one of his thinner disguises. She can see the aelf-loathing clesrly beneath without even really trying. "And let's not forget they are vampire spawn. Hardly innocent."

"Fuck, Astarion, none of us are! You only give a shit about yourself, huh?"

"Why not? No one ever looked out for me. No one ever said a kind thing to me. You're the only one," he insists, getting a bit heated himself now. "Other people don't have a heart like you."

"Damn right, soldier," she replies quietly, tapping a fist against her engine as it ticks and whirs her numbered days away. The rage fades. "Sort of the problem, isn't it."

"I-- shit, Karlach, I didn't mean--"

There he is.

"Hey. It's all right."

It isn't, not really. Nothing is all right anymore. But they will be.

Karlach just can't be the only good thing he sees in this world. It's not fair to either of them. Gods only know how much more time she even has left, besides; Astarion shouldnt be alone, not after everything he's been through. She needs him to be okay without her, selfish as it is.

"Scares me when you talk like that," she admits. "Like other people are just things to you."

"I'm sorry, Karlach," he says, miserably. "I don't know if I can be anything else, here."

Karlach's mother always told her to never go to bed angry. After ten years in the Hells, it felt pointless and silly, but tonight with his siblings' blood staining the floor, she thinks she might understand the wisdom in that advice.

"C'mere, Fangs."

She opens her arms. Always gives him a choice; touch is complicated for both of them in a lot of ways. And, yeah, there's her cuddly Astarion after all. Must be exhausting pretending to something he's not all the time. Thought so since she met him that day by the river. All those masks and yet none seems to fit quite right. She knows the feeling, more or less.

"You're loved, you hear me?" she tells him. "So fucking loved."

His skin is a pleasant balm; hers is still smoldering a little. They don't let go.

"You make things so difficult," he complains softly against her collarbone, affectionate despite the actual words.

"Knew this wasn't gonna be easy. But I swear, tomorrow we'll kick Cazador's ass," she murmurs, holding him tighter. "I've got you."

"Ugh. Get a room, you two," Shadowheart grumbles from her bed.

They have a room, though. This room. The others will simply have to deal with that.

It's gonna be okay.

[daintylovers]

just some random modern!mike headcannons because i’m bored :)

- he absolutely loves marvel and drags you to the premieres of every single new movie

- he hates timothee chalamet for one reason only. one time you said he looked like a target version of timmy and mike never got over that

- he tries to be all indie with his music but he mainly gets his music from you. he really likes dealer by lana del rey, which surprised you. he’s also a fan of high on the beach, freak (especially this one omfg let me tell you, it’s his go to makeout song) and hey by the pixies

- will fight about the whole pineapple on pizza debate. and if you like it, oh god you’ll never hear the end of it.

“i just can’t understand how you would eat a FRUIT on a pizza!! it’s not natural”

“mike tomatoes are a fruit too and that’s what the sauce is made out of…”

“no”

- he is really good at chemistry and geometry but SUCKS at any sort of english class. if you’re better at english, you guys will sort of trade off with homework. he will do your math as long as you write his essays. and if you’re bad at english then you both bribe max to write your essays.

- tries to facetime you every night and gets genuinely upset when you don’t answer. so much so that if he knows you’re home he just walks over to your house.

- loves when you do messy eyeliner. one time he asked you to do his makeup and ughhhh your heart stopped. he had you sat on his lap, giggling as you brushed some dark eyeshadow under his eyes. he asked for that “edgy” look. he likes how it looks so much that he went out and bought his own products. but he only uses makeup very rarely, saying he doesn’t like the feeling of his skin being covered.

- omg side note: he didn’t even wash his face at first. when you guys first started going out, you found out he had like no skincare routine. he was just rawdogging life. now though, he is stocked up on moisturizers and toners. you’re current mission is to get him to wear sunscreen. and you don’t understand why his pale pasty ass is putting up such a fight??? this mf needs sunscreen more than anyone.

- gets inspired by eddie and starts to wear rings. and when he sees how much you like it, he gifts you matching rings.

-has gotten in a fight over you (and won, surprisingly) but refuses to admit it. also makes sure that the other guy says nothing about it.

- loves going on boba dates but hates to admit it.

- in fact he loves it so much that he takes will out to try it. and once you found out will liked boba too, all three of you would go on little outings after one of those weeks with too many tests

[lcandothisallday]

jack and you facetime after he has a bad day

Blurb #2: FaceTiming Jack after he had a bad day

*For something similar, you can also read this!*

Jack sat in his hotel bed, the anxiety bubbling up within him. Today was just an overall awful day and it was taking everything in him not to have a breakdown alone in his room. He reached for his phone to text the only person he knew could calm him down at that moment.

Jack: hey baby

Jack: you still up to FaceTime?

You: yeah anything for you🤍

Jack almost let out a breath of relief as he started the call. Once it connected, the smile you gave him alone felt like it was able to somewhat turn his entire day around.

“Hey mamas,” he sighed in greeting. Instantly you could tell that something was off with him. The concern was etched on your features as you look at him through your phone screen. “Hey J. How was your day baby?”

“Honestly?” Jack began, running an anxious hand through his curls. “Not that good,” he confessed quietly. “I just...” he sighed again, not knowing how to form his feelings into words.

You bite your lip as you look at your boyfriend sympathetically. You truly wished you could’ve comforted him in person, pull him into your arms and pepper him with deserved kisses. “You wanna talk about it?” you ask him.

He nods as he takes in a breath, his overwhelming feels causing tears to collect in his eyes. “I’m exhausted ma. With the album comin’ out soon and all these shows--I barely have time to breath or sleep or do anything. I told Neelam I wanted to cancel one of the upcoming shows and she got on my ass for it,” he frowned. “I-I know this is what I signed up for but,” he shrugged. “Maybe if you were here it would've felt more easy or something.”

It felt like your heart was breaking hearing him be so vulnerable and sound so clearly exhausted like he said. “Jack-honey you’re only human. You’re allowed to feel those things even if you did sign up for it,” you point out.

“Yeah I know...just don’t wanna let anyone down,” he sighed.

“You won’t J. You need to take breaks when you feel like cos you don’t wanna burn yourself out,” you reason. Jack nodded as he let yours words sink in. You always did know exactly what to say to him. “After this album is released-- I’ll take you away for a week, just you and me at the beach,” he mused, the smile you loved so much growing on his face.

You couldn't help but grin back as you let out a small giggle. “I’m gonna hold you to that Mr. Harlow,” you hum. “Cos I really need a tan. I’m getting pasty.”

[duelpolis]

Blizzard

Written for @super-secret-conspiracy’s Conspireshipping Secret Santa, for @millennial-ring! Merry Christmas!

~~~~~~~

Marik was lounging on the couch watching TV when he heard the door to his and his boyfriend’s apartment slam open. Surprised, he looked over to the door. There stood Ryou, wearing a trenchcoat over a puffer vest, face red as a tomato, carrying several grocery bags and breathing heavily. He put the bags down and started heading out again.

“What are you doing?” Marik asked, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

“There’s a blizzard coming,” Ryou replied. “So I went and got groceries in case we get trapped.”

“Well why didn’t you tell me that?” the blonde prodded. “You left me all alone! I could have helped.”

“I’m sorryyyy, you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you!” His boyfriend apologized.

“Alright, alright, stop whining,” Marik scoffed. “But take those coats off before you roast. I don’t want to deal with a corpse in front of the front door.” His lips curled upwards into a teasing smile, one that Ryou knew all too well.

“Very funny, Marik. But I still need to get more.”

“Are you just going to cook the entire storm?”

“Depends on how bad it gets.”

Marik pouted. “At least let me come with you this time.”

“Then get a coat on!”

“Mmm… Don’t wanna.”

“Marik,” Ryou sighed, “I am wearing TWO HEAVY COATS, and I’m much more suited to winter weather than you are. I am not letting my boyfriend turn into a human popsicle. So go get a coat, or you’re not coming with me.”

“Fiiine.”

“You can have one of mine.”

Bakura pulled off the trench coat and held it towards the blonde.

“Don’t you need a coat too?” Marik protested.

“I have more trench coats in my closet.”

“I- Alright.” Marik took the coat from Ryou and put it on. He stuck his hands into the pockets and grinned. “Hell yeah, boyfriend coat!”

His boyfriend giggled. “You’re such a dork.”

“But ya love me.”

“I do,” Ryou answered. “Now let’s get going, before it gets colder. Maybe there are still some food stalls out so you can eat something other than popcorn.”

“I like the sound of that. Let’s go.” Marik took his boyfriend’s hand and pulled him outside, and the two embarked on their journey for more groceries.

~

“Ryou, Cheesecake, Love of my life, Pasty-ass bitch, can I have the rest of your taiyaki?”

“No, you can’t have my taiyaki, because you’re a vegetarian and there’s sausage in it.”

“What kind of sadistic bastard makes taiyaki with meat in it?” Marik huffed. “I highly doubt it goes well with the bean paste.”

“Not all taiyaki has the bean paste, Marik,” Ryou giggled. “It can have other fillings. And even if my taiyaki didn’t have sausage in it, you still haven’t finished your koshary.”

“Yeah, but your food always tastes better for some reason.”

His boyfriend snickered. “Fine, you can have the tail since it doesn’t have any filling, but I get your egg.”

“Wasn’t gonna eat it anyways.”

“Then why did you order it?”

Marik smirked.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Ryou asked. “Get an egg you wouldn’t eat on your koshary so you could steal the tail of my taiyaki?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re insufferable,” the platinum blonde laughed, using Marik’s chopsticks to take the fried egg from the dish.

Marik paused for a few seconds before replying. “W-well, we all know you’re dating me for my appearance and not my personality!” He chuckled weakly.

“Are you blushing?” Ryou asked.

“IT’S THE COLD!” Marik protested. “I’M NOT ENAMORED WITH YOUR LAUGH OR ANYTHING- fuck.”

“Sure you’re not,” his boyfriend giggled. “Let’s get home, silly.”

Marik opened his mouth to argue, but decided against it. He would just have to accept defeat this time around.

“Fine, let’s go,” he huffed.

~

“Is the storm over yet?” Marik whined as Ryou worked in the kitchen.

“The storm just started, dear.”

“Uggghhh,” the blonde growled. “This is stupid. I can’t believe we have to stay inside this long.”

“You say this as if you go outside oh-so-often,” his boyfriend retorted.

“Shut up!” Marik protested. “I go outside all the time!”

“Only because I make you come with me.”

“Shut UP!!”

“If you want to freeze,” Ryou replied, “then be my guest.”

“...”

“That’s what I thought. Now come over here and get your cinnamon roll.”

“You made cinnamon rolls!?” Marik gasped. “I love you!”

“Is that what it takes to get an ‘I love you?’” the platinum blonde joked. “Baked goods?”

“...If you’re going to be snarky, I’m taking it back.”

Ryou snickered. “I love you too, Marik.”

“STOP DOING THAT!” the blonde protested.

“Doing what?”

“BEING SO GOSH DARN ADORABLE!”

His boyfriend giggled again. “It’s not my fault I’m cute!

“STOP IT!”

“I can’t change my face on a whim!”

“Why not!?”

“That’s just not how it works!!”

Ryou was laughing now, completely distracted from serving. Marik saw an opportunity and took it, grabbing the pan of cinnamon rolls off of the stove.

“Marik!” Ryou yelped. “You don’t get all of those! Give them back!”

“Kiss me first.”

The platinum blonde sighed, dramatically rolling his eyes, but he was smiling. “Alright, get over here.”

Marik leaned over, and his boyfriend planted a kiss to his lips.

“There’s your kiss. Now give me the cinnamon rolls and I’ll dish one out for you.”

The blonde handed him the cinnamon rolls, and he put two of them onto plates. He then held one out towards Marik.

“Yours is slightly bigger,” the blonde complained.

“I’m the one who put the work into baking them.”

“...Touché.”

“Anyways,” Ryou said, “I’m tired. Wanna curl up on the couch, eat our cinnamon rolls and watch a horror movie?”

“Ooh, can we watch another one of those slasher films? I like the one with the dude in the hockey mask,” Marik asked.

“Alright, I’ll get it set up,” the platinum blonde affirmed. “Can you go get the blankets?”

“Fiiiiine,” the blonde whined sarcastically. Ryou could tell it wasn’t serious, since he immediately started chuckling.

“You’re a dork.”

“But I’m your dork!” Marik countered.

“You are,” Ryou confirmed. “Couldn’t get rid of you if I wanted.”

“Because you loooove me.”

“Exactly.”

Just then, they heard a loud bang from the windows, causing Marik to jump a little.

“It’s just the shutters,” the platinum blonde consoled, patting his boyfriend’s shoulder. “You go get the blankets, I’ll get the cinnamon rolls and start the movie, and we can turn the TV up loud enough to cover up the storm. Deal?”

“Deal,” the blonde responded, heading towards their bedroom.

He came back within a few minutes, carrying the giant blanket they had gotten as a gift from Joey a few years back. He plopped down next to Ryou and threw the blanket over themselves, making sure not to cover the cinnamon rolls so the icing wouldn’t get on it.

“Thank you,” the platinum blonde said.

“Thank you for cinnamon rolls,” Marik replied.

Ryou turned on the movie and shifted himself so that he was leaning on his boyfriend.

“You know what Marik? I think this is my favorite Christmas I’ve celebrated in a while,” he smiled.

“...That was today?”

“Yes.”

“Dang it, I forgot!”

“It’s fine, Marik. We can exchange gifts and everything tomorrow. It’s not like we were supposed to celebrate with anyone else.”

“I guess you’re right,” Marik shrugged. “But we’re giving each other our gifts first thing tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ryou confirmed. “Now, let’s get to the movie.”

He hit play on the remote and relaxed. Half-way through, Ryou heard a soft snore. His boyfriend was sleeping. The platinum blonde smiled.

“Good night, Marik,” he whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

Neither of them noticed the end of the blizzard.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

and therefore is winged cupid flying blind - ch. 2

Fandom: Top Gun: Maverick Pairing: Natasha “Phoenix” Trace/Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw Rating: E Chapter Count: 2/?

Chapter summary: Everyone’s looking at Bradley and Hangman, cautious of their stand-off, but it feels like they’re all looking at her. The girl who puts in all the effort. The one Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw’s never gonna love back.

day 2

The morning’s off to a fairly entertaining start even before Maverick saunters down the aisle and goes for the cheap shock value of tossing the F-18 manual in the trash. Some of them made a deeper dint in their instructor’s Hard Deck tab last night than others; Natasha has it on Bob’s authority that Omaha ducked into an office to puke in a trash can on his way here. One of their superiors will have his ass if they find out it was him, and he’s not very inconspicuous, still looking pretty pasty when she glanced back at him.

Though she’s trying not to do that—glance back. Bradley’s in the seat behind hers. On the rare occasion when they are posted to the same base, they always end up like this: within a sort of schoolyard tetherball proximity to one another. Even if he’s done some small stupid thing to piss her off, or she’s annoyed him by accepting his rides and not offering up gas money. They stay close. Watch each other’s six. Right now, she’s aware of him slumped down in his chair and whatever she feels, she makes sure to sit as tall as possible to shield him. They haven’t discussed the details, but she knows there’s a lot of long-held animosity between him and Maverick. Flowing in one direction, at least. Maybe it’s crazy, this urge she has to protect somebody half a foot taller and several years older than her, but she can feel that he needs her. God, she should be so much smarter about him by now.

Once Maverick’s done his spiel and dismissed them, Natasha sees (and hears) the squadron betray the rough shape some of them are in. Freakishly impervious to anything that could hinder a good time, Hangman’s already trying to organize another night out.

“Can you believe him?” she asks Bob, nodding in Hangman’s direction.

Bob shakes his head.

“It’s like bad decisions only make him stronger,” he says in an awed voice.

Her sudden laugh jerks her shoulders like a cough and, from the corner of her eye, she sees Bradley look her way. Forcing herself not to meet his eye, she leans towards Fanboy and Payback.

“You two look pretty bright-eyed this morning,” she notes with a grin.

“Oh, we didn’t drink last night,” Fanboy tells her.

“Uhhh…”

Natasha looks to Bob. Her back-seater backs her up, like a good back-seater should.

“You definitely did,” he confirms, squinting at Fanboy skeptically.

“No,” Payback says, smiling. “See, those were our alter egos.”

“You lost me,” Natasha tells him.

“Anything a little unwise, we delegate to these other versions of ourselves. We call them Fanback and Payboy.”

She casually covers her mouth with her hand like she’s taking that in; really, she’s concealing her struggles not to laugh.

“Uh huh,” she says, like this is plausible or even sane.

“We owe our lack of hangovers to them.”

“And to a couple of aspirin and about a gallon of water,” Bob says under his breath. Natasha snorts.

“You can ask questions,” Fanboy offers. “We won’t be upset.”

“I don’t know if I have any…” Natasha begins. “Other than: when you were dropped on your head as a baby, was it more than once or just one time but really hard?”

She and Bob crack up as Payback waves them off, smiling good-humouredly.

“What are these hooligans saying now?” Hangman asks, done rallying the troops for a bar crawl and ready to stick his nose in someone else’s business.

“We’re just trying to decide how much your hairline has receded since the last time we saw you,” Natasha informs him.

This is another thing that always happens, she and any other non-dickheads closing ranks against Hangman. If he tried, he could really be so much less insufferable, but he doesn’t try, so she’s forced to ward him off with attacks on his vanity. His persistent attractiveness means the verbal damage is never too deep or permanent.

“It hasn’t,” he says. “But thanks for your concern.”

They laugh harder when his thanks are accompanied by him flipping them off.

Hangman’s gaze lands on Natasha and she can just see the moment he decides to meddle again.

“You care about me, dontcha, Rooster?” he asks, shifting his gaze to Bradley. Natasha’s smile slips.

“Nope,” Bradley says immediately, twisting towards them from where he was talking to Fritz. “What was the question?”

“See, I just don’t believe you.” Hangman wags a finger at him. “Heart—now that’s what Rooster here brings to the team. Since he certainly doesn’t bring speed or balls.”

Against her will, Natasha glances at Bradley’s closed-off face. Normally, this is where she’d jump in to defend him with her shoulders squared and a warning look in her eyes. Is he expecting her to? Will someone else? She can feel the instinct rising inside her like last night’s drinks up Omaha’s esophagus. Everyone’s looking at Bradley and Hangman, cautious of their stand-off, but it feels like they’re all looking at her. The girl who puts in all the effort. The one Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw’s never gonna love back. He still wants me, she almost wants them to know. If I said the word, he’d walk out of here with me right now.

Don’t rise to it, Natasha tells herself. Don’t rise to it, don’t rise to it. Hangman’s just trying to—

“And what is it you bring, Bagman?” she asks. “Besides an inability to shut the hell up, and I’m not sure how that’s supposed to help us on this mission.”

Bradley lets out a choked laugh and, for a moment, they’re fully allied again. She turns her head and shoots him a conspiratorial smile. His rises crookedly, higher on one side, and, fuck, she knows that look. And it’s for her. It’s just for her.

She makes the mistake of looking at Hangman again. For someone who’s received nothing but insults since butting into this conversation, his expression is ominously victorious.

—

After the lesson, she hits the bathroom with Halo. Their conversation skips quickly between last night’s antics (is Halo the only one who finds Payback even more attractive than she remembered? Natasha stares at her and wonders whether they’re thinking of the same happy-drunk doofus), their expectations for working with Captain Mitchell, and the trip Halo took to Prague when she was on leave. Halo exits while Natasha’s drying her hands, promising that they’ll catch up more later. When Natasha goes to leave, she pulls the door open and almost collides with Bradley, pushing his way in.

She takes a step back, ready to admonish him, but Bradley steps forward, moving with her, and his mouth’s on hers before the door can bang closed. Her back hits the wall between the hand dryers.

This is where she should shove him away with both hands and make him talk to her. She should remind him that he didn’t call her when he returned stateside, and he should ask her why she’s been avoiding him. She twisted her hair extra tight in her bun this morning because her emotions feel like a fucking mess. Making out with Bradley in the bathroom can’t be helping, but she feels numb to the future at the moment. Kissing him has this sedative strength that wipes her mind and settles her nerves. It’s like turning off the bubbles in a hot tub; her anxieties dissipate, her thoughts go smooth as glass, and she can just relax. Both of them have a setting in their brain labelled with the other person’s name.

Out of habit—and it makes her smirk that this is a habit they’ve established—Bradley kicks a foot back to put pressure on the closed door. Resistance in case anybody tries to come in. As they kiss frantically, Natasha reaches for his shirt, trying to tug it out of his pants.

“No, that’s ok,” he mumbles, voice so familiar and so sweet. His hands go to her pants, unbuttoning and unzipping with practiced swiftness.

She tries to help him, but he’s too fast for her, so her hand just wraps around his wrist, stroking to his forearm. His fingers slip down the front of her underwear. As with any maneuver Bradley really wants to nail, he’s already completed the prep work of listening to instruction and putting in the hours required to get good. Her hand skims down again to cover his, urging him on. And then he’s touching her—careful taps to her clit with his fingertips that warm her up mentally—and she’s getting wet. She wants to pull his hips forward, but he has one leg stretched backwards to brace the door with his foot. It’s always something. It’s always fucking something they seem to be adapting to or compensating for or worrying about. Though he’s never really shouldered his share of the worrying, and Natasha isn’t overly enthusiastic about that herself.

He's rubbing her faster and spreading her arousal upward to slick his motions and her head is falling back against the tiled wall, her eyes closing. He knows how to do this. Her fingers caress the back of his. Bradley brings his mouth to her neck and his lips just rest against her skin for a minute. She feels the soft exhale through his nose. How many times has that little puff of air hit her skin? The inside of her thigh, after he’s gone down on her in a session so intense that she got a cramp in her leg from kicking it out when she came. Between her shoulder blades, when they’re on all-fours and Bradley has his head hung down, trying to last by breathing through the pleasure like it’s pain. The nape of her neck, as soon as he’s fallen into the deep, thick sleep that rarely takes him but makes him curl himself over and around her, hugging her against him in a way he never has while they’re both conscious.

Natasha feels drunk on it—the attention he only manages to give her in his dreams or just before goodbye or not long after hello again, evidently, if she doesn’t seek him out soon enough on her own. His teeth nip beneath her jaw and she moans, coaxing more pressure out of his fingers. But when his lips close around her skin and she feels suction, she blinks herself out of the haze. No. She’s not letting him leave a mark on her.

Panting, she pushes him back with a gentle yet firm touch. Bradley shakes his head in confusion. He looks as out of it as she was a second ago and she tries not to get turned on all over again by the way he loses himself to her desire. It’s what keeps her off-balance: how they can go from being so powerfully in sync to her waiting in vain for her phone to light up with his name.

“Not… not now,” she says.

Because she can’t just come out and say not ever again. Not when he keeps the door blocked while she fixes what he disheveled. Not when his eyes ask what’s going on while his mouth stays silent. Not when he holds the door open to give her a way out.

Just…

Not.

[manuskrip]

hey its me again

haha kasian ya kamu tumblr, i only come to you when life isn't going well. actually, my life hasn't been going well for a couple of months. 

so my current situation is like this: it's been almost two years, that I and Adrien lived together. And now we’re completely apart from each other. He moved to London, and I'm still here in Stuttgart doing I don't even know what.

Gimana ya, rasanya tinggal dan hidup sendiri di negara orang. I feel lonely, i don’t have any friends. Well, i actually do, but that isn't really what I need anymore. I think at this kind of age I might already need someone to survive together with me. I feel lonely like i don't have someone to hang on to, let alone someone to talk every day. Aku tuh capek kayak gini. Tapi kalo aku capek aku pasti inget bapak sama ibuk, yang udah sekolahin aku jauh-jauh mahal-mahal. Tapi akunya cuman apa? Parasit.

Parasit ke orang tua iya, parasit ke Adri juga iya. Mau aku perjuangin Adri ya udah nggak mungkin unless he is willing to convert. Taugaksih, if only he wants to convert, I’d do literally everything. Moving out a thousand miles away ya Aku akan lakuin. Kadang aku mikir, why can’t I get what my friend has. Why does the person I love so much is different? Why can’t he do the same as others can easily do?

But if I think about it again, why would Adri sacrifices his life for a person like me? for someone who has zero achievements, zero life, zero money, is uninteresting, and has no self-development. Kasian Adri if he has to stay with someone like me who so far for the past two years contributed nothing to our household. Kasian Adri, maybe he doesn't have the heart to let me go since the beginning because look at me. And kasian Adri because staying with me means he has to always give without receiving something back. Already, I burdened him with this whole religion thing, and second, being with me is like having to do charity his whole life. Kasian Adri...

I am well aware of that. That is why when he thinks we should start to stop keeping in contact with each other I didn't really say anything. He worked hard for the past few years not to end up with a child who just constantly suck up his money, his time, and his happiness. I think he deserves someone amazing you know. A woman that is bright and full of positivity. Not a girl who throws him an unendless problem without even knowing how to solve it. not a girl who always asks for protection and understanding without even trying to try in the first place.

I owe him so much. And I feel so embarrassed about it. I have a lot of debt that I don't even know if I can pay them back or not. But I know I will have to. Kasian Adri... All the more reason for him not to sacrifice himself to convert for me. Because it's obvious that I am worth nothing. 

Sometimes I am wondering why should I struggle to live when I don't even have any purpose to live anymore. I have lost everything, including myself. But every time I think about ending my life, I can only think about ibuk, bapak, and my debt to Adri. He needs the money back. and I just can’t burden my parents with it. Tapi aku capek... aku capek banget hidup kayak gini... aku capek harus nangis sendirian setiap malam. aku capek gak punya pegangan hidup dan gak bisa cerita sama siapa-siapa. aku capek...

Setiap gemuruh yang keluar dari paru-paru aku rasanya sakit. Perih. Semua orang pergi dari aku.

I never talked to anyone regarding the debt I have. It was only between me and Adri. and maybe wonwoo.. I think wonwoo knows practically everything about me. wonwoo is always there to listen even though he is not saying anything. Wonwoo... I don’t deserve Adri, do I? Wonwoo, I love him so much tapi kasian adri... Wonwoo, I think Adri should be better off without me, Iya kan? 

Wonwoo.. how did you do it. I mean handling the grief when your mom passed away this year. Wonwoo, will you tell Adri for me how I am so unhappy without him? will you tell me that if he takes me back I would do everything? I would work my ass off as whatever I can to give him back all the money I have used for nothing. Wonwoo.. i think it might be so hard for me to keep living and not end up with Adri. It will be hard to find someone who can compete with him. But wonwoo.. I don’t know what he thinks about me right now. I am so embarrassed I feel tidak pantas. 

Wonwoo If I may have a dream, well if I even deserve to have a dream. i would choose to be a mother. I want to be a mother. At first, I thought being a mother is easier than becoming a career woman. But I was wrong, with who I am right now, it’ll be even harder to make it come true. Who would want to settle with a person like me? Dear Doctor, I think your patient has just run away from your asylum. Sometimes I'm thinking you know, what if I turned out to be actually crazy. I think life would be easier... but then people are gonna suffer with my presence. and that is not cool. if I die, some people are also still gonna suffer. but if I do keep myself alive, I think I am slowly gonna kill myself. 

I remember the last time I was suicidal was under the influence of alcohol. but right now I'm typing this with 100 percent of consciousness. I am fully sober. Wonwoo.. if I end up doing something stupid do you think people are gonna forgive me. My dad, my dad always thinks I'm the daughter he could be proud of. I think he would be disappointed and he wouldn't forgive himself.

Wonwoo.. sekarang aku bingung... aku ini harus kemana.. what is the meaning of having all these if i am not happy at all. Wonwoo.. bahagiaku itu cuman sama Adri. But having these feelings and letting Adri knows about it, is only gonna burden him. Who would want to be burdened by such a statement? Gak ada wonwoo.. 

Wonwoo.. right now I don't really have anyone who can listen to me, who cares about me. Wonwoo... i love you. Thank you for always being there when I need you... Aku tau, kamu itu gak nyata. Kamu itu cuman khayalan yang aku buat untuk bisa nenangin diri aku sendiri. Tapi wonwoo,,, Kalau gak ada kamu, mungkin aku udah gak tau lagi harus lari kemana. Wonwoo makasih ya... for some people who don’t understand; they might see you as a meaningless pop idol who is worshipped by a bunch of girls but for me personally, you keep me sane. Even though i don’t even know what sane is anymore. 

Wonwoo... I feel like I wanna run and cry to my mom, tapi aku gak bisa. It’s just not me. Wonwoo, keep this secret baik-baik ya, will you?

[queenofallimagines]

The demon brothers reacting to black mc wash day

The way there are like four black characters in this game but not a single X black reader🤨 like I know you like making all your MC‘s pasty skinny insecure white girls but we don’t do that over here(Also can you notice I got side tracked with beel? Lmao)

Lucifer:

- okay so you may think he’s like thousands of years old so he knows everything about humans but he knows nothing

- He just assumes mammon let’s his hair do whatever

- Honestly thought he was buying all those hair products just to spend money smh

- So when he sees you walking by with a basket full of stuff he’s like??? Is it necessary

- “Hey Luci, mams is out so can you help me do my hair?”

- On the outside he’s all “ahah tiny human needs help”

- But we know he’s a big softy he’s trying not to cry bc that’s so domestic and intimate and he’s a sucker for that stuff

- Especially bc you made it clear(mainly asmo) that nobody could touch your hair without asking first

- “It would be my pleasure.”

- So he’s lowkey overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you have in the counter

- “You use all this???”

- “I got more in my bag”

- ????? Hello??

- But he’s a fast learner and gives great massages

- Got you falling asleep in the sink and he’s just starring at you with heart eyes

- “Next I defangle right?”

- “Yeah”

- Okay so please forgive him

- He’s used to trying-

- Keyword is try

- Ti helo mammon with his hair

- So he is snatching out the knots

- Like you thought your mom or auntie was bad?

- He’s pulling your head ALL the way back

- “LUCIFER”

- “Yeah?”

- Lmao you gotta use the pact to beat his ass

- “If you yank out another clump of my hair I will beat your ass.”

- Takes his time detangling now

- Mammon is laughing bc this why he don’t ask him for help no more

- “Yanked the shit outta your head didn’t he?”

- “BRO WHY IS HE SO ROUGH??”

- He had no idea how to braid so he will ask asmo how to braid your hair in secret

- He learns how to do cornrows pretty fast

- Will kiss your scalp when he thinks your sleeping too

- He loves how you smell

- He’s gon steal ya shea butter and blame it on asmo or mammon and he will lie straight through his teeth

- “I have shea butter already lucifer :/ you ain’t fooling nobody”

- Keeps a red silk bonnet on his room just for you

- Got silk pillowcases too

- He’s about a 6/10 on the scale bc he will give you the worst migraine if your life

Mammon:

- he’s literally black Lmao

- You can argue with ya moms idc he’s black and the devs know it too

- But he’s obviously the best at this

- My boy may have a silk press but you better believe when the humidity hits its back to 4c

- When he hears you complaining about how all your expensive hair products are back in the human realm he bust in with his loud ass

- “As your first man it’s obviously up to me to help u get that head together”

- Sir🤨 what you tryna say

- He’s super nervous bc he’s tender headed and only asmo and Lilith were allowed to touch his scalp

- “You can,,be a little rougher”

- He’s soft as hell lmao

- After wards will take you shopping for hair stuff

- He has like a whole drawer full of durags and bonnets

- “What color you want?”

- He’s the real plug lmao

- You and him be laughing at inside jokes the others can’t understand

- The black body language

- “👀🤨😘”

- “😌😙🥺”

- “What the fuck are y’all saying??”

- Bothering Satan!!

- Bro you can’t tell me he don’t look like any other white boy with a rich dad!!

- “I know he’s not wearing kakis”

- “It’s drip or drown and the water beating his ass”

- Anyway

- He will play prince

- Best wash day playlist on god

- Having Simon join in🥺🥺

- Maybe even helping diavolo not heat damage his hair🥰

- Y’all just have whole sleepovers

- Coordinating wash days so y’all can share products

- Group chat with hair inspo

- Macc daddy mc: okay but what if I pop out with these white locs?

- Mamoney: YOOO I GOT SOME LOC JEWELRY FOR THOSE

- angelfoodcake: I think they would look good in a bun

- Dia: slay!

- I’m sorry but he used aave bc he don’t know what it means like Lucifer is struggling bc he will say Random shit

- You I turn help with his hair

- He is super bougie with his product too

- “This is deep conditioner from the third layer of hell that contains the screams and tears of kkk members.”

- “…. Okay”

- Him and asmo do spa days shut up he’s a model he loves self care

- Right after wash day they do face masks

- Beaks combs

- Like his hair has a life of of its own you gotta ease into that mf bc you will start snapping metal combs

- Very chaotic but relaxing

Leviathan:

- lmao okay so this will be a struggle

- Like a first date with sweaty hands

- He probably buys a black hair salon simulator 😭😭

- Probably dry combs your hair

- Like he thought you were a demon for a sec when you whipped your head around

- “Boy I will rock your shit”

- “🥺🥺 okay”

- Might purposely mess up to have you snap on him at first he likes it when your sadistic

- But he will take it seriously when your a breath away from asking someone else for help

- He got them Gamer hands so he can section and part like a professional

- “Hand me the gel”

- Likes trying different hair styles out

- His favorite is a wash n go bc he likes seeing how it comes out differently every time

- Also you can wear your cute lil bedtime hat🥰

- He sleeps in a whole ass bathtub so he gets silk sheets and comforters and just piles em all in there

- Will wear a silk shirt to sleep bc he usually holds you when y’all slept together

- Will buy cute ruri-Chan clips to put in your hair

- Also devil horn clips that asmo bought you give him a heart attack every time

- Let’s you use his T-shirts as a towel

- Will bitch at you if you all asleep without wearing your bonnet

- “So you not wear the tsl bonnet got you for your birthday?”

- When he learns how to brain he could have half your head done in like 40 mins

- You already know he has all the slice of life anime with black main characters lined up for y’all to watch

- He’s trying his best and he is definitely succeeding

Satan:

- lmao okay so this one is funny

- Mr. Hit me or my father will sue

- He seems like he would get super frustrated and yank your hair out

- But I’ve men him personally and he wouldn’t never do that

- Before you even ask he’s read all the books he can and bothered mammon about it so he’s prepared

- He wouldn’t forgive himself if he hurt you anyway

- Prides himself on being better than Lucifer at something

- So when you offhandedly ask him to help with your hair he’s smiling so bright

- “Of course mc I’d love to”

- He’s already in his head trying to figure out which hairstylist

- Like he’s masters regular waves and finger waves

- He’s got this on lock

- He’s so gentle when he’s massaging your scalp

- “We should do a hot oil treatment,,,, just to be safe”

- Can’t be a lazy natural around him no sir

- He bothers you DAILY about your head and always got summ to say

- Like simmer down white boy worry about your cardigan 🙄

- “I can tell you ain’t oil your scalp last night”

- Boy if you don’t-

- Loves twist outs

- He can study your hair more that way

- Like what makes it not come out frizzy,how to make it pop

- Him and asmo are sifting through your hair products to make sure only the best ingredients are in there

- He’s your white knight too

- Anyone try to touch your hair demon or otherwise getting an elbow to the spinal cord no questions asked

- “Do you think your hair has high or low porosity?”

- He got your hair stats sitting in a notebook somewhere

- “High density with very fine strands.”

- Like he knows your hair more than you do

- Buys you a cat shower cap

- Also cat ears

- Cat anything you put on your head really he thinks they make you look cute

- “Mc! Do you want to listen to this audiobook with me? It’s about black hair throughout the decade.”

- Listening to natural hair horror stories on YouTube is a favorite past time

- Another one who loves the small of your products

- Will probably stand super close to you at all times to smell your hair

- “Smells like home”

- Like if he smells cocoa butter a mile away he knows your close by

- Go white boy go!

Asmodeus:

- Tbh he probably don’t know much about your hair

- Yeah he’s helped mams on occasions but that don’t mean y’all got the same hair texture or style

- Mams has like 4 a b and c all over

- You can too but I like to think his head a mess and he got different coils all over the place

- So he’s watching you like a hawk to see what products you be using

- Gets you even more expensive stuff

- “Do I need it tho?”

- “MC! This won’t be available for another century! Of course you need it!!”

- Loves doing puffs and pineapples

- Like he’s the master of doing edges

- So he lies it when he can see them clearly

- “My hard work🥰”

- Plenty of pictures

- # wash day!

- He probably got a long ass routine too so you guys do wash day together

- “You seen my African black soap?”

- “….. no”

- Steals your products too

- He wants to smell like a tropical garden too😡 you gotta share

- Buys you a silk durag that you wear in pictures

- Probably has bonnets that you can only wear in photos too

- His whole bed is silk sheets so don’t even worry

- He will be on your neck tho about your hair like Satan

- “ why is it so frizzy?? Did you not deep condition for 45 mins like I told you?”

- Says your stressing him out when you don’t deangle properly

- Lots of shopping trips

- Will match your outfits with your hair

- “Let me see what your hair looks like we got plans today”

- Favorite style is box braids and a fade

Beelzebub:

- baeby

- Like imma need y’all to stop thinking he’s stupid

- He’s a himbo but he knows about sex like his brother is the avatar of lust stop assuming he don’t know how to use the monster between his legs >:/

- Bc he knows how to EAT if anything else

- Anyway he will wash your hair in the shower

- His arms never get tired so he’s down to help you pull off a fly ass install

- Wig

- Some braids

- Locks

- Anything

- He is always ready and willing to help🥰

- Might eat your products tho

- “Where did my hair mayonnaise go??”

- “That wasn’t for my sandwich???”

- Lmao just get non scented stuff

- Probably gets horny bc you smell so good

- “I want to devour you”

- Go head then😳

- Soft dom but doesn’t know your limits so accidentally fucks you stupid

- Like he never realizes how hard he’s going or how feral he’s being

- So your brainless and drooling

- Tapped out like 5 orgasms ago

- And he’s like “you good?”

- Lmao he does kinda have an idea tho bc your choking on your own words begging him to slow down but he can’t get enough of your expression

- Wash day might as well be blow your back out day tbh

- Bc after you put your hair in that wrap it’s dinner time

- He’s gon make sure you are tired out

- Favorite hairstyle is those cute mini locs you get when your first licking your hair

- I think he likes short hair the most idk

- Let’s you use any of his shorts to dry your hair

- Will take off the shirt he’s wearing to let you dry your hair

- Will always have an umbrella ready in case it starts to rain

- Saw you upset bc it was storming and he bings an umbrella everywhere now

- Cute hair scarves

- Like he got you this cute marble orange scarf that you wear when you go on dates

Belphegor:

- This mf 😒

- I refuse to believe he’s the one that *spoiler for lesson 16*

- He’s literally so cute??? Like that’s a baby if I’ve ever seen one

- Dont let that cute face fool you tho

- He’s an menace

- Especially with hair

- Did you see that selfie he took?

- Yeah he’s a mess he don’t do mu with his hair but let it grow out

- Too tired to help you out with wash day but will hype you up

- Sleepily give you compliments and give cometary when asked

- “Try the other gel it might work better”

- “That Bantu knot of slightly bigger than the other one”

- will make sure your scarf stays safe all night

- 30 silk pillows

- “I stole this one from lucifer”

- Secretly refills your product when you’re running out

- The bottle was almost empty and now it’s completely full

- Will massage your scalp when washing your hair in the sink

- “This feels so domestic”

- He’s very soft about it

- Smiling the entire time

- Tells you you look cute to get you flustered

- Buys you cute hair accessories

- Like where did that cow hair pin come from?

- Definitely not him

- If your getting nasty he will ruin the whole mood to put your scarf on lmao

- “Ayo wait a min”

- Keeps one bonnet hidden in all his sleeping spots

- Just in case

- If your products got lavender in it he will fall asleep right next to your head

- “You smell so good I couldn’t resist mc”

[moonlesslights]

Going down (NSFW)

Ramsay Bolton

Pairing: Ramsay Bolton x Stark!Reader

Summary: You are the betrothed of Ramsay Bolton, however, attending to a celebration on the South, he gets a little too jealous of all the eyes on his lady. You take him to another room to avoid an scene a both decide to enjoy some time alone.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of sex.

(this is part of a serie of OS I want to start for Ramsay and “us”, it won’t be really a serie but fragments of their lives)

Enjoy!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The first time I decided to go deep throat on him was before an event with some lords and ladies.

He was jealous. Some lord of the south had been insinuating to me, being a little too friendly and Ramsay felt like people still didn’t get the fact that we were together or, what was driving him crazy, the fact that people though that i didn’t want to be with him… or was it?

—Calm down, love.— I say, my hands on his chest moving up and down.

—He was talking about your ass with his friend, in front of me… do you think that’s okay to let go?

—They are southerners, Ramsay. You know their manner of be is by far a lot more relaxed than ours.

—They are disrespecting you. They are disrespecting the Lady of Dreadfort and our house with it.

He is still trying to look for one of the windows in the room we were in, the room I took him trying to avoid an scene. I place my hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. His eyes connect with mines, deep blue blending under the light of the candles, still confused when I smile.

—And what are you going to do, love?, are you going to flay them?— He can’t. I know it, that’s why I’m taking this so calm, if we were on the North, I would be fearing for their lives.

Ramsay frowns, biting his inner cheek and avoiding my look again. Now I know that this is not only jealousy, something else is upsetting him.

—What is going on with you, mhm?— I push my finger on his jaw, redirecting his face to me.

—Nothing.— He’s angry, I can tell by his voice and how he raises his eyebrows with annoyance.

—Tell me.— I insist. —We can’t go back out there with you looking like someone died… Or like you tried but didn’t succeed.

He ignores my words, only furrowing much more when he looks at me and finally continues:

—Yes, we are going back out there. With you in that pretty dress and hundreds of looks on your back.— His voice drops, and I can tell he’s about to spit what is burning in his throat. —But I’m not sure if you would like to go back to the North with me…

—Ramsay…— My heart gives a skip. What is he talking about?

—After all, we aren’t married yet, and you were only betrothed to me, so why wouldn’t you look for someone else out there?

The words hit in my brain and then I can get to feel how much this man loves me, even when he acts like this, like he would give anything make me leave him alone. My expression softens, putting my hand on his cheek again and felling, even as he resist a little, how his face seeks the touch of my fingertips.

—You’re not so clever as you think you are, my lord.— I murmur, smiling.

He turns to me and opens his eyes, confused.

—What do you mean?— Ramsay asks.

I don’t respond, instead, my head does a click with the idea to show him what I meant.

I fall to my knees, Ramsay leans immediately, trying to take my hand and whispering if I was okay, however, his attempts to put me back on my feet decline when I reach under his upper clothes. The second my fingers rub from his belly button to his pants, passing for the fine path of hair, he feels a chill run down his entire spine until it settles in his crotch. He clenches his jaw, slightly surprised of what I was doing.

Usually, he’s the one to star any kind of encounter that leads both of us to sexual pleasure. So, this, is a huge step for me and for this part of our relationship, because of what he said: we aren’t married, therefore, we haven’t had sex. However, since we started to sleep in the same bed at the Dreadfort, it was hard for Ramsay to keep his hands to himself. I said no the firsts times and he respected that, but as time passed and I got to see him in plenty of ways, I accepted that I was somewhat of touch starved… Even thought, not so much as him.

The first time I let go was at his office, late at night, when he kissed me with such hungry and desperation but yet so careful to not make me back away that I couldn’t take it anymore… And he realized that. He took me from my hips and place me on one of his legs, holding me tight. The rest was amazing: him, making me grind on his knee, moving me up and down for the fabric of his pants, asking me if it felt right that or this. Smiling until he had to put his hand covering my mouth to avoid my voice woke up half of the people there, no, then he wasn’t smiling anymore, he was laughing. One of the most precious laugh i’ve heard.

Since that moment, he haven’t stopped. Grabbing me by my hips again one morning, holding my back against his chest and with one hand around my stomach and the other going down on my pussy, he fingered me until I couldn’t stop shaking from pleasure with his digits hard and deep in me.

Other time was when, while I was grinding on his leg, I reach for the bulge among his legs. It took him by surprise, I guessed based on the way his head dropped back, murmuring a soft “fuck” under his breath. He wanted to be touched, I realized, he was dying for me to go for all on him but he never intended to push me, after all, I had just accepted for any of us to die of touch starvation.

That same time was the first time he made me scream his name high and clear. None of us could help it (I tried, I swear), but when he got too excited with my hand going up and down on his member, he turned us, positioning himself above me and beginning to simulate hard thrusts on me. He has always been a quiet lover, he groans and moans, but just never too loud. But me and the wooden bed?, well, we kinda woke up everyone in the castle that night.

So now, with me on my knees and pulling down of the fabric, he really doesn’t know if I’m going to do what he is thinking. His fantasies flying around his mind, he didn’t thought that, during this travel, it was going to happen.

—Did the cat ate your tongue?— I ask, smiling. He’s always nonchalant about how nervous I am during our time of pleasure, but know is him who doesn’t talk at all.

—We need to be quiet.— He murmurs, seeing even a little bit anxious. I chuckle.

—No. You need to be quiet.— Ramsay clenches his jaw again, watching out the window with a frustrated look.

I take his cock on my hand and hear him take a deep breath. I lick my lips at the same time I start to do some movements with my wrist. Then I look at him, asking if I should do the next step.

Ramsay loses his breath at the incredibly erotic sight. Passes saliva and nods, slow. Then, his head drops back when my tongue starts to move at the tip, circling it with my lips.

I give several movements with my head, turning to see him with each of them, trying to guess if I was doing it right. Ramsay continues to answer me with nods of his head, and as his breathing becomes more and more pasty, I feel him grow in my mouth.

—Go on, darling.— He whispers, letting out a heavy sight.

I focus on extending my tongue its full length before beginning to delve into my throat: I go down a little and go up again feeling my eyes watery, but then, I try again, playing with my hand with what I cannot take. I continue like this for some more minutes, greedy growing in my chest with the sounds and gasps that my betrothed lets go from his lips.

—You almost get it, dear.— I close my eyes when I feel his hand getting tangled in my hair.

Ramsay takes control, pushing my head against him and loosening only when I ask to go back. His brow furrows and insists again, my lips close around his member and then I proceed to open my jaw to the maximum that it gives me, closing my eyes, already too foggy anyway, until my nose touches something: his skin. My lips meet just at the base of his dick. Ramsay presses one hand at the base of my neck while the knuckles of the other on the table behind him turn almost completely white.

I push back and, with difficulty, he lets go, but just enough. As soon as I have only the tip in my mouth again, he pushes back inside, giving quick and calculated thrusts. His hand on the table tightens even more and the blood seems to drain from the layers of his skin.

—Look at me.— Ramsay demands. He’s about to come, I know: he always wants me to look at him before he does.

He takes one last thrust, drawing me back to the bottom and base of his member. He pushes, pushes and pushes until he makes sure that I have everything.

His hand drops my hair and, by the moment I try to clean that what felt out of my mouth, he takes my arm and makes me stand on my feet again. Two of his fingers trace my lips and his own cum before pushing them into my mouth.

—It’s all yours, darling.— He smiles, rotten. —Take it.

I swallow and clean my chin with the sleeve of my dress, smiling too. My cheeks red and heart pumping on my chest.

—Was it okay?— I ask. The doubt was still consuming me: Ramsay have had plenty of lovers, a lot that had done that to him…

—It was better that okay, darling.— He laughs, putting all his clothes back on and then turning me to give him my back. —You made me touch the bloody heaven.

I laugh, felling like I always did every time I was with him, doing wrong things and sharing private moments: alive. He makes me feel alive.

I noticed his fingers running through my hair and it don’t take long until I realize that he’s making my braiding again. I smile, confident. He had practice sometimes before, when we were late because he just didn’t want to get off of bed, or when I fell asleep during long travels and by the time we arrived my hair was a total mess. So he started learning to do it.

—Done!— He cheers, proud of himself after thirty minutes. I turn around and before I can say anything, he presses his lips on my forehead. I close my eyes for a few seconds and by the moment I open them again, he’s looking at me. This time, his smile it’s just the same I see when I kiss him goodnight, or when he says “love you” after coming back from some trip with his father. The same smile he has every time I wake him up with a lot of kisses. —I want to marry you.

—We are going to get married.

—I want to marry you now. Let’s just do it right when we get to Dreadfort again.

I wrap my arms around his neck and he wraps his own around my waist, pressing his forehead with mine.

—Why?, you can’t wait to have sex with me?— I ask, smiling.

—Yes. And I might be tempted by the vows of spending the rest of our life together.— I laugh as he giggles, giving him a quick kiss.

…

By the time we got out of there most of the guesses were already on their table, eating. And when we sneak into the celebration, Roose was already raising an eyebrow at us.

Ramsay and I looked at each other. Roose didn’t know what we did, but he exactly did not not know what we did.

For the rest of the dinner, I had to enjoy my plate under the reprimands of my future father and the disobedient laughs of my betrothed. Yet, the scenario couldn’t feel more like home.

A/N: Sorry if there’s any gramatical issue, english it’s not my first language and I still get a little confuse on log narrations. Hope you liked!

[sapphicwhxre]

behind closed doors

♡ pairing: harry potter x reader x ginny weasley

♡ summary: ginny wants to add a third person to her sex life with harry and you make them both glad he said yes.

♡ requested: yes | no

♡ warnings: oh my god it's FILTH ─ swearing, threesome smut, oral sex (female & male receiving), face fucking, fingering, vaginal sex, praise/possession kink, scissoring, overstimulation, nipple play/praise, cum slut stuff but i got no clue what to tag that as. also i didn’t proofread or edit because if i reread any of this shit i know it won’t get posted LMAO

it was funny, really.

everyone thought the chosen one was this awkward, inexperienced git when it came to sex. and they all thought the youngest and only girl of the weasleys must be this pure little princess. but, they were oh so wrong and you knew that first hand.

you knew because harry was almost at his breaking point. he didn’t think there was anything as precious or plain sexy as ginevra weasley but merlin, did she have some odd kinks. he’d do them all for her, even enjoyed some of them. but this one had harry redder than dragon breath.

“ginny, i don’t want another guy with his hands on you when we’re being intimate!”

finally snapping, harry was flushed and frustrated. it was the second time ginny had brought up the possibility of bringing another person into their bedroom and harry did not see the appeal. the weasley girl perked an eyebrow, however, and laughed.

“who said anything about a guy, dear?” ginny toyed with a charm on the bracelet you’d given her and shook her head. “you know my friend, y/n, don’t you?”

the boy’s eyes widened behind his glasses and his mouth went a bit dry. “yes,” was all he managed, trying to remember what house you were even in. what he did remember was that you were quite the sight to look at.

ginny grabbed harry's hand, “we had a bit of a thing before you and i. she’s a fun person, she’d do it without any strings attached.”

how had harry had no idea that his girlfriend had been sleeping with y/n? and why did the idea of letting her into the equation arouse him so much? although surprised that ginny felt absolutely no jealousy or even batted an eye at the situation, he found himself grinning when ginny did at his sudden nod.

this was how you’d ended up with harry potter’s cock buried in your pussy while your face was in ginny’s. and right now, it wasn’t very funny at all. what it was fell under the category of fucking like heaven.

“oh, good girl, just like that, y/n!”

ginny moaned with her head thrown back. her eyes were rolling back into her head with every moan she heard from her boyfriend paired with the warm vibrations of yours meeting her pussy. “look so pretty, taking harry’s cock for us,” you responded to her dirty praise by a finger into her dripping cunt, your tongue still assaulting her folds and your ass in the air. she moaned even louder and barely made eye contact with harry, who was still thrusting into your clenching walls. “so good, y/n... blimey, gin, she’s so tight,”

“and ours,” the panting girl added, her hands now gripping your hair messily. “our pretty little slut, in’t that right, harry?” he agreed with a rather distracted grunt but ginny was too occupied to respond, screaming as you put your fingers as deep into her as you could, curling and pumping while your tongue kept adoring her clit. “oh, y/n, y/n, y/n,” it was impossible at this point to tell whose moans were whose and who was saying your name louder, but either way it was addicting.

“f-fuck!” you babbled incoherently, harry and ginny's names both getting lost on the way out of your mouth. harry burst into you with a final, shallow thrust, moaning like a porn star. your orgasm clenched your stomach and your walls tightened around harry’s dick while you came, the white liquid seeping out into ginny’s view. your breathy moan was hot on ginny’s throbbing pink pussy and the sight made her want to come, hard. you took your fingers away and instantly replaced them with your tongue. gripping her thighs tightly, you let all of her sweet cum enter your mouth and drip down your chin eagerly.

“oh, that’s a good girl,” ginny was breathing fast and giving both of you a toothy grin ─ one which you and harry returned. “how hot does she look, harry?”

“so hot,” harry gasped, forehead sweaty and cheeks flushed red. “so hot covered in our cum, she knows that, doesn’t she?”

nodding and flustered, you tried to gather yourself after being fucked and fucking ginny at the same time but you were flipped onto your back. a loud yelp caught both ginny and harry and they both wore different smirks on their face. harry's said he was nothing short of loving the experience and ginny was thinking of ways to make it better for the former... and herself.

“open,” she commanded, biting her bottom lip with the cockiest look on her face. without any hesitation, you spread your legs as wide as you could to let ginny do whatever she wanted with you. “good little girl, you’ll be rewarded,” she hummed and you were desperate to be touched again. “but first ‘m gonna let harry have a bit more fun, show him just how good you are with that pretty mouth.”

the messy haired boy was already pumping up and down his shaft, tip as pink as his cheeks. “open?” harry’s request was softer but in some way, just as sexy as ginny’s. you parted your lips just enough to take his tip between them and sucked softly, eyes intent on harry while you did so. his were already scrunched in need and you made your way down, cum covered lips and saliva wetting his dick for you to suck him better. with hollowed cheeks, you bobbed up and down on his length, feeling more and more satisfied with his bucks hitting your throat. even gagging on his cock and nose hitting right above where he was slapping against his own skin, you moaned and sucked until ginny spit on your cunt.

“oh,” you let out muffled on harry. no longer watching you two, ginny was lowering her own pussy onto yours and the heat of both your aroused cunts felt heavenly. you whimpered with your lips around harry, tears streaming down your face, hoping to be touched by ginny. your wish was granted as you moaned muffled again and she sank onto you, using your thigh to ride your pussy. clits rubbing against one another with deliciously rough friction, cock all the way into your mouth, you saw stars. it didn’t even matter whose cum was dripping down your leg when the pleasure you felt was so mindblowing and harry was spilling his seed down your throat. “good little cum slut,” ginny rubbed your clit harshly.

“ginny, this is so good,” you groaned, on the verge of a sob, “but ‘m too sensitive, just let me please you guys,”

as if you’d told a funny joke, she laughed and turned to harry. “your turn baby, i want that pretty, pretty mouth back between my legs now that she’s all swollen and sexy,”

“poor thing,” harry chuckled at your scream when he attached his mouth to your soaked and abused pussy. his hands yanked you by the ass and he ate you out like you were a fucking pumpkin pasty. ginny lowered to sit this time on your mouth, facing harry’s buried head. whimpering almost pitifully, though extremely sexy to the couple you were pleasing, your tongue took messy movements to ginny’s pussy.

she was so wet that it didn't matter how out of it the sensations had you, your open mouth on her core was enough to have ginny spitting moan after moan. “cum now, y/n, i know you’ve got another one left in you,” harry cooed. you couldn’t even object with your mouth so preoccupied and all coherent thoughts being smashed by harry’s tongue fucking your hole. “that's it,” his teeth grazed you while you came and your sob on ginny’s pussy sent her to the very edge of her orgasm.

right then and there, she could have orgasmed all over your flushed face but she held on and took her pale fingers to your breasts. “i think she’s got one more in her harry, fuck her one more time,” she purred, hips bucking on your lips. the strangled moan you exhaled made harry beam while he prepared to enter you again. “you love it, don't you?” your mouth tasting between ginny’s slick folds wouldn’t let you scream his name, but you desperately wanted to when harry pushed all of his inches into you. “being just a pretty cum slut?”

in only a minute, ginny’s release washed over your face and flooded your senses. all you tasted was the last ginny had before she collpased beside you, panting heavily. she watched as harry kept fucking you like you were theirs. “pretty tits bouncing, shame we didn't give ‘em too much attention,” she chirped. your teary eyes widened, you weren’t sure if you could take ginny touching your breasts on top of harry pounding into you. but you desperately wanted to.

it must have showed in your eyes, or admittedly, in ginny’s desire because she wrapped her lips around one of your nipples and pinched the other one before switching to soft flicking. “so tasty,” she alternated, praising both your tits with her skilled fingers and warm mouth. about to coax you into your orgasm, you finished loudly and harry let himself release the second that you did. pulling out, he found his way next to ginny and wrapped his hands around her waist while she focused on your tits, tired yet euphoric. “aren’t they perfect?” ginny hummed contently and released them, and harry stroked your hair and ginny's.

“y’know, perfect’s just one word i’d use for this.”

the lovely filth of having the wild versions of harry potter and ginny weasley all to yourself were some of your best nights, you often thought. though you supposed deep down that they were the ones who had you to themselves, you didn’t care. what mattered much more was that you ─ and certainly ginny and harry ─ were quite glad that you were their good, little slut.

─────♡

[miekasa]

break up with your boyfriend, i’m bored

+ pairings: um… armin x reader…. but, spotlight on jean—just... read it to understand, please

+ genres and warnings: college au what’s new, fluff… you’re just going to have to work with me and trust me on this one alright

+ notes: free colt he ain’t do nothing wrong i just needed someone outside of their immediate friend group to blame i am so sorry justice for my boy colt and falco too

+ more notes: longer levi fic still in progress, so have jean thee comedian in the meantime

“I think I have a crush on someone.”

Jean crosses his arms and makes it a point to huff even louder than before so that you can accurately assess his annoyance at moment; going so far as to slump back into your not so comfortable couch to really sell it.

“And that is why you manhandled me all the way to your apartment on a Tuesday afternoon?” he asks, voice flat and eyes hooded.

You groan and roll your eyes. Jean’s eyebrows are pinched together with more judgement than confusion at your current state of distress when you sit next to him on the sofa, a knee bent in his direction.

“Jeanie, I don’t think you’re understanding the severity of my issue.”

“You’re right, I’m not,” he drawls, “But, please, do enlighten me. It’s not like I have an essay to write or anything.”

“I have a crush,” you reiterate, hands mapping out every syllable in your sentence, “On someone who is not my boyfriend.”

“I see,” he nods, but his voice remains flat, “And, pray tell, what exactly is my role in all of this?”

“You’re supposed to use your philosophical psychoanalytical bullshit to tell me what’s wrong with me and how to fix it.”

“Philosophy and psychology are two different disciplines.”

“They sound the same to me.”

“That’s because you’re a single-celled chem major.”

“I think it takes more than a single cell to study chem.”

“Oh, is that what they tell you guys, now?”

“You’re not fucking helping.”

“Yes, I am,” he tuts, “It’s called talk therapy.”

“It sounds like you’re just taking shots at me.”

“Best friend talk therapy allows for a few digs here and there.”

“Jean,” you pinch his arm. He flinches, and yelps loudly, immediately raising the affected arm to counter with a flick to the center of your forehead. You glare, the palm of your left hand covering the sting on your skin, but concede, “Well played.”

“Thank you,” he nods, “I learned from the best.”

“Okay, now that you’ve gotten your ego boost for the day, can we worry about my problem, please.”

He shrugs, crossing resting his left ankle atop his right knee, “Sure.”

“Thank you.”

“What exactly is the problem, again?”

You sigh, and lean your head on Jean’s shoulder, “I have a boyfriend—”

“We’ve been over that.”

“—and the person I have a crush on is not my boyfriend.”

“Okay,” he pauses, “Are you going to do anything about this crush?”

“Well, I… no,” you ponder, “I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” he repeats, “So, then why are you so worked up about it?”

“Because!... Because… I don’t know, it’s… wrong? I’m in a relationship with someone else—isn’t this, like, emotional cheating?”

“Maybe,” he says, “I don’t know a whole lot about relationship psychology.”

“Come on, Jean.”

He sighs, “I’m serious, I don’t know, (_____).”

You whine, sounds muffled by the fabric of Jean’s sweater where your cheek lay pressed against his shoulder. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”

“You’re not, stop it,” Jean answers firmly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, “You’re not horrible for having emotions that are difficult to work through.”

“Okay, then, I’m just a horrible girlfriend.”

“Maybe.”

“Jean.”

“Sorry,” he winces, patting your head for extra encouragement. It’s meant to be comforting, but it makes you feel like a patronized six-year-old, at best. It’s quiet for a while, with you mulling over Jean’s words, and him trying to pull you into the worst side hug in all of existence.

“Do you think,” you break the silence, “Maybe I should I break up with him?”

“Yes,” his answer comes too quickly, and much too enthusiastically.

You lift your head from his shoulder, unamused, but Jean doesn’t even try to hide the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t like him.”

“No,” he pauses when he catches glimpse of the disbelief on your face, “Okay, yes, I don’t like him. At all.”

“Jean—”

“But maybe this is your subconscious telling you that you don’t like him either, and that you should, instead, go after your crush.”

“Oh, so now you want to use your psychobullshit on me?”

“If it means I don’t have to pretend to like Colt anymore, then yes,” he replies, a stupid, shit-eating grin on his lips.

You scoff, arms crossed against your chest, “You don’t even pretend to like him now.”

Jean shrugs, “I pretend to like him to his face.”

“No, you don’t,” you insist, “You’re probably the worst at it, in fact.”

“I’m not worse than Connie.”

“You called him an asshole. To his face.”

“Connie poured tequila on him.”

“Connie was drunk. You were completely sober.”

“Connie would have done it sober and you know it.”

You open your mouth to refuse, but the words fall silent in your throat. Connie probably would have done it sober. “Okay, fine, whatever, you don’t like him,” you wave away the subject, “Do you really think this crush is my subconscious telling me to break up with him, though? I mean—it’s just, crushes are kind of fleeting right?”

“Sure, but—”

“What if I break up with him, and then I get over my crush, and realize I made a mistake.”

“Then you learn and grow, and find a new crush.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” he insists, “You’re beating yourself up pretty bad over this mystery guy—”

“—It could be a girl.”

“Is it a girl? Oh, is it Mikasa? Are you still hung up over her—you know I’m sure she’d make out with you asked. I think you both could relieve a lot of tension that way, actually.”

“You’re the worst person to walk this planet, you know that?” you sneer, annoyed by the smug grin on Jean’s face. So what if you had a tiny crush on Mikasa? Most people did, Jean included.

“Look,” Jean continues, “You and I both know you’re not a cheater, but you and I also know you’re just like Eren when it comes to things like this.”

“Just like Eren?”

“Falls too fast, too hard,” he clarifies, “I get the feeling you’ve had these feelings for a while, and that they’re not fleeting.”

You pout, and Jean knows that he’s right. “Okay, so say I do break up with Colt—”

“Which you should do, regardless.”

“—If we break up, then what? I still won’t know what to do with my left over grief. It’s not like I can just... go ask this guy out right away.”

“Yes, you can,” Jean presses, “In fact, you should.”

“No, I can’t,” you insist.

“Why not?”

“Well for one, I’ll look like a heartless whore.”

“You’re not a heartless whore for asking a guy out.”

“I am if I do it right after breaking up with my boyfriend.”

“Your internalized misogyny is showing,” he sing-songs, “Come on, you’re not a whore for doing what you want with a guy, you know that.”

“Okay, fine, not a whore, whatever,” you roll your eyes, “But I still couldn’t ask him out.”

“It’s the twenty first century, just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t ask him—”

“Not because of that, dumb goose,” you glare, “I meant because—it’s, well, it’d be really sudden and kind of… awkward?”

“It’s not like he’d know you just broke up with someone, unless that’s one of your conversation starters.”

You sigh, a hand on your forehead. “Yes, he would, Jean.”

“How could he possibly—oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you mock, a heavy sigh leaving your chest as you resume your previous sulking position, head leaning against his shoulder with your right cheek squished against his sweater.

“(_____), I’m honored, but you’re not really my type. I’d be willing to help you get over him though.”

“It’s not you, you fucking long-necked pigeon, it’s Arm—,” you cut yourself short, hands clamped over your own mouth.

“Oh my god!” Jean all but screams, propelling his body away from you with just enough distance to extend his arm, finger pointing directly at your chest, “You like Armin!”

“Shut up!”

“You have a crush on Armin!”

“Shut up, Jean!”

“You have a big, fat crush on Armin!”

“Shut up! I said shut up, you pasty fucking giraffe looking ass bitch!”

“Oh my—okay, you have to break up with Colt, immediately,” Jean rushes, “I can’t believe this—if you think Armin wouldn’t go out with you, then you really do have the intelligence of a single celled organism.”

“What in the ever loving fuck are you talking about.”

“We’re talking about the same Armin, right? Armin Arlert, about this tall,” Jean raises his hand significantly lower than Armin’s actual height, “Studies astrophysics, follows you around like a lap dog—”

“He does not,” you scoff.

Jean guffaws, “Didn’t he take you on a tour of, like… the NASA museum for your birthday? With the super high-tech planetarium that people die to get into?”  

“Actually, it was their headquarters, but it’s only because he gets special privileges for being an intern.”

“Didn’t he name a star after you?”

“Anyone can name a star after anyone,” you roll your eyes, “It’s really not that hard.”

“People do not fucking go to NASA and ask for stars for just anyone!” Jean screeches, hands flailing wildly.

“Armin does!”

“Yeah, for you!” Jean emphasizes, “Come on, do you think if anybody else called him right now and asked him to get a star in their name, or even just fucking take them to headquarters of the most renowned space organization in the country, that he would actually do it?”

“I mean, maybe, if like… Eren asked.”

Jean opens his mouth to refute, but freezes half way with a head-tilt and pursed lips. “Okay, yeah, maybe—whatever, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you need to tell him.”

“I don’t need to tell him shit.”

“You’re seriously choosing Colt over Armin? Who willingly stays with some greasy prick with the world’s most annoying younger brother, over a handsome, straight-A astrophysics student with a penchant for marine biology, and, like, really clear skin.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know Bertholdt was studying astro.”

“I wasn’t talking about Bertholdt.”

“It sounded like you were talking about Bertholdt.”

“I mean, Bertholdt’s got great skin, but it’s no where near as clear as Armin’s. He glows.”

It’s quiet again, as you eye Jean with a raised brow that’s all too familiar. “Are we sure that you’re not the one with the crush on Armin?”

“Shut up, you’re avoiding the point.”

“What’s the point, exactly?”

“That you’re in love with Armin, who is miles better than your current boy toy, so you should ask him out immediately.”

“I have a boyfriend, not a boy toy.”

“Ah ha!” he yells, “You didn’t deny that you’re in love with him—oh my god, you’re in love with Armin!”

He’s standing now, practically bouncing off the the walls at the revelation. You take to smacking him with the nearest pillow. “I’m not in love with him! I just—just really like him, okay!”

“Very convincing.”

“Shut the hell up, you’ve been pining after you know who for seven eons at this point.”

“You bitch,” he growls, “We’re not supposed to bring him up.”

“Well, you keep bringing up Armin!”

“We never established that Armin was on the list of he’s who shall not be named.”

“Well I vote that he should be.”

“Your vote has been vetoed,” he grins, “Look, I’m completely serious when I say that Armin is just as in love with you as you deny you are with him.”

“That sentence hurt my head,” you pout, resuming your signature brooding position.

“It’s okay, your single brain cell has been through a lot in the past fifteen minutes,” he pats your head again, earning him a glare that he simply chuckles at, “All it means is that you love Armin, and I assure you that he’s equally, if not more, in love with you.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so. Now, up, up, up,” he tuts, pulling at your biceps until you’re standing, only to immediately start ushering you to the door, “You have a shitty boyfriend to go break up with.”

“What—Jean, come on, I didn’t mean right now!” you exclaim; but he’s stronger than he looks, and continues to propel your body out of the open door.

“No time to waste!” he insists, “Every hour you stay with Colt you lose another brain cell.”

“I thought I only had one to begin with,” you say, sarcasm evident in your tone.

It makes Jean’s grin triple, “Exactly, so go, not another hour to waste!”

“Jean, wait, I—,” you begin, only to be silenced by the silver door shutting in your face. The lock clicks soon after, and it’s only then you realized what he’s done.

“You knobby kneed bitch, this is my apartment!”

[inkmemes]

futurama  (  1999  -  2013  )  sentence  starters  ↪  taken  from  the  animated  science  fiction  show.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“let's get the hell out of here already! screw history!”

“when you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.”

“you have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.”

 "stop! the spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."

"she's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot. that's love for you."

"all i know is my gut says maybe."

“i've never seen a super nova blow up. but if it's anything like my old chevy nova, it'll light up the night sky!”

"every christmas my mom would get a fresh goose, for goose-burgers, and my dad would whip up special eggnog out of bourbon and ice cubes."

"what do i look like, a guy who's not lazy?"

“is heaven missing an angel, cuz you've got nice cans!”

“help! a guinea pig tricked me!"

"[name], if i said you said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little."

"drugs are for weirdos and hypnosis is for weirdos with big eyebrows." 

"[name], it would never work between us. you're a man, and i'm a woman. we're just too different."

“screw you, ill have my own contest. with black jack ... and hookers. forget the contest.”

“ah, she's built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro.”

"spare me your space age techno babble, [name].”

"it's sort of a two person pyramid scheme."

"i don't want to live on this planet anymore."

"you were doing well, until everyone died."

“if we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. checkmate.”

“i am the man with no name. [muse name], at your service.”

“in the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.”

"this is the worst kind of discrimination, the kind against me."

"you watched it... you can't unwatch it."

“valentine’s day is coming? aw crap! i forgot to get a girlfriend again!”

 "hold on to your dookie, it’s about to get spooky!"

"i'm tired of this room and everyone in it."

"i'm so embarrassed. i wish everyone else was dead."

"you can't just have your characters announce how they feel! that makes me feel angry!"

"i don't have emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad."

"if, for any reason you're not satisfied, i hate you."

"that young man fills me with hope. plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing." 

"i've dreamed about you a lot since you disappeared. what did you want to tell me?" 

"what do you think the meaning of life was anyway?"

“you're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything!”

“life and death are a seamless continuum.”

“if anyone wants me, i'll be in the angry dome.”

“and the worst part is, i had to have the breakup sex by myself!”

“they said i was dumb, but i proved them.”

“what's the point of living if i can't say ass?”

“i'll be stuffing coal so far down your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!”

“we're all pawns in his diabolical game of checkers.”

"wait, i'm having one of those things, a headache, with pictures!"

“sorry, i didn't realize i was already here.”

"guess what you're an accessory to!"

"why does ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?"

“there's no scientific consensus that life is important.”

"we cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them! now we're bored!"

“i'm just as important as him. it's just that, the kind of importance i have ... it doesn't matter if i don't do it.”

“oh what a foolish squid i’ve been.”

“my instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.”

"that was bad, and you should feel bad!"

"technically correct - the best kind of correct!"

"and here is where i keep my assorted lengths of wire!"

"oh wait, you are serious! let me laugh even harder!"

"i gotta practice my stabbing!"

"that's the saltiest thing i've ever tasted! and i once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!"

“i apologize for nothing!”

 "die young and leave a beautiful corpse! that's what i always say."

"here's to another lousy millennium."

“but i am already in my pajamas.”

“windmills do not work that way. goodnight.”

"you win again gravity."

"when push comes to shove, you got to do what you love, even if it's not a good idea.”

“but existing's basically all i do!”

“when will the killing end?"

"i'll be whatever i want to do."

"the use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. now that. is. irony."

"could you ask a little more sexfully?"

"hooray! i'm useful!"

"awesome. awesome to the max."

"some breaking occurred, the dolly was involved, that's about all we know."

“you want me to do two things?”

i love stealin', i love takin' things!

“i believe that qualifies as ill. at least from a technical standpoint.”

"that was the old me. he's dead now."

"jail ain't so bad; you can make sangria in the toilet. ‘course, it's shank or be shanked."

"one word. thundercougarfalconbird."

"of all my friends, you're the first."

“girls like swarms of lizards, right?”

“i lost it. in a volcano.”

"i'm gonna get you so many lizards!"

"who needs courage when you have a gun?"

“let's go! i've got jelly in my underpants!”

"interesting if true."

“i did do the nasty in the pasty!”

"something tells me i could easily beat those trained professionals."

"the two of you are good friends? but i thought we would be good friends!"

"it's like a party in my mouth, except everyone's throwing up."

“i'm shocked. shocked! well, not that shocked.”

“it's me! no one else look in this mirror!"

“you ever think you only like girls cause you're supposed to?”

"we don't gotta put up with this! we got poli sci degrees."

“sorry, i suffer from a very sexy learning disorder.”

“did somebody say something about a free hot meal?”

“you gotta do what you gotta do.”

"too many bones? not enough cash?"

“hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?”

"i don't know how you did that."

"the butter in my pocket is melting!"

"well ... first i got up and had a piece of toast ..."

“i can't wait til i'm old enough to feel ways about stuff.”

“interesting! no ... wait ... the other thing. tedious.”

"i knew you come crawling back, like a bird on its belly!"

“we both know you won't make it halfway before the craving sets in! then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet sweet candy. bam!"

“indeed so, most indeededly.”

"and by metaphorically, i mean get your coat."

“[vehicle]'s ready except for this cup holder, and i should have that done in 12 hours."

"stop. stop! i will destroy you." [ bonus if the receiver is doing something mundane to sender ]

“just make a simple cake. and this time, if someone's going to jump out of it, make sure to put them in after you cook it.”

“lies, lies and slander!”

“you raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir!”

“but going through a divorce together, you can't pretend that didn't bring us closer together.”

“when you say the human body is the most efficient thing to use as a battery, wouldn't anything make a better battery? like a potato? or a battery?”

“i'll have you know that i bejazzle my own underpants!”

“i'm sorry you had to see that, [name], usually i let my sadness fester quietly inside as a mental illness.”

“i'm not drunk, i'm mentally ill! but i agree with what, what you said.”

“this is a cool way to die!”

[bittenwritten]

Idle Gossip

[Harley Quinn 2019] Scarecrow x [Villain] reader

*reader is gender neutral* [Reposted from my Wattpad account]

It all started with your invitation to the Penguin’s nephew’s Bar Mitzvah coming through the mail slot. Normally, you’d prefer to keep to yourself and not attend any social gatherings. However, on this occasion you’d had a rough week and a fancy get-together seemed to be just what the doctor ordered, and so you decided to bite the bullet and attend. Unfortunately, what you seemed to completely forget, until the day of the Bar Mitzvah, is that you'd actually have to talk to people. Great.

You decided that cancelling now would just be more hassle than it was worth, and so that is how you ended up sitting round a small table with a few of your fellow Legion of Doom members discussing the recent drama that was the JoQuinn break-up. Other than the Joker blowing up the host of Good Morning Gotham, this was the first time you were hearing about the whole drama, so it was all news to you. Well, I say ‘conversation’, it was more so just Scarecrow gossiping at the group about the whole hullabaloo while everyone else was becoming tired of the non-stop gossip coming out of Jonathan’s mouth. Well, everyone but you. You couldn’t for the life of you explain, but you just seemed to hang onto every single word that came out of his mouth as he rambled on.

 You weren't even really listening to what was being said anymore, you were just so transfixed by the way he spoke, there was some kind of devilish charm to it that made you feel weak in the knees.

 You’d only recently realized your feelings for the twig of a man on a collaborative heist, where you had to suddenly drag him out of Batman's sight and ended up pinning him up against the wall. Neither of you even said anything, you just stared at each other for an uncomfortably long time until Batman walked in and caught the two of you like that. It had to be the most embarrassing point in your career, but there was something about that flustered look on his face that made your heart skip a beat.

Back in the present, Twoface looked like he was about to lose his patience before the door to the atrium swung open. Two figures stood in the doorway, the more extravagant of the two had a massive tiger on a lead in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. You didn’t even recognise her for a split-second but her pale-white skin was an immediate give away to her identity, it was the Joker’s ex, Harley Quinn. Behind her stood the more intimidating figure of Poison Ivy, she seemed to be more disinterested with the whole thing. Harley took a swing from the bottle and threw it over her shoulder, only to stop dead in her tracks as she looked around in horror, you could only assume she mis-read her invite in regards to what type of party this was. Glancing over to your fellow villains, they seemed to be just as confused as you were.

“Well, this is an interesting development” Scarecrow commented, resting his head in his hand as he leaned forward. “You know...” he started “i bet there’s something going on between those two” he used his free-hand to gesture towards the two.

“Y’know what, I’m starving.” TwoFace quickly stood up “Bane, buddy, how's about you and I go check out the buffet?” 

“Sure, sounds good.” Bane said in his usual upbeat tone.

“Yeah, good idea.” Scarecrow added as he began to stand out of his seat.

“Nah, nah, nah.” TowFace cut him off. “Y’know two’s company but three's a crowd-” he clearly just wanted an excuse to get away from the non-stop gossip that was giving him a head-ache.

“You two just stay put, we’ll be back in a sec” and with that he bee-lined towards the buffet table with Bane following closely behind. Scarecrow slowly sat back down and stared in confusion at the two before turning his attention to you.

“Wonder what got into them” he laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, I wonder.” you agreed and took a quick sip from your drink.

His expression turned to a more deadpan one. “Well I mean you could at least try to be a bit more subtle with it.” he scoffed.

“Sweetheart, if I was to be subtle about anything, you wouldn’t pick up on a single thing I was implying” you shot back, leaning towards him and taking another swig from your drink.

“Oh, like your obvious attraction to me.” he joked and raised an eyebrow as you spat out your drink in surprise.

“S’cuse me?!” you managed to sputter out once you recovered from your coughing fit.

“Oh give me a break.” he rolled his eyes. “I know I can be a bit oblivious at times but not to this extent.” he said as a smirk formed at the edges of his mouth.

“What are you talking about?” you laughed nervously, trying to relieve some of the sudden tension that had been created. He looked at you like you’d just asked him who Batman was before answering. 

“I mean, you avoiding me recently, your longing stares.” he put a hand on his head in overly dramatic fashion, which admittedly got a slight laugh from you.

“I mean for fucks sake, just now you were making eyes at me throughout the conversation about the break-up.” he added. Your body stiffens and heats up as he finishes his sentence. God, were you that obvious? 

At this point, your face was as red as a tomato and you were stumbling over your words as you failed to come up with a rebuttal. Luckily you were saved from this hell when Bane and TwoFace returned to the table, stopping him from continuing his accusation. You sighed in relief and looked back over to him, he still had that smug smirk on his face that always made your heart flutter. 

“How's the food over there?” you asked.

“Eh, nothing worth spoiling your dinner for.” TwoFace shrugged, sitting back into his seat.

“Uh-oh, who are these trouble-makers?” Harley walked up to the table.

“Nah, I'm just kidding- I know it’s you [name], Scarecrow, TwoFace, other side of TwoFace, Bane-!” you all laughed at her imitation. “I'm gonna’ blow up this Bar Mitzvah” Bane grumbled.

“Quinn, Great ta’ see ya’! Where've ya’ been hiding?” TwoFace asked.

“On your left side where you can’t see shit!”

You all burst into laughter again but this time you couldn’t help but steal another look at Scarecrow. You loved the way he looked when he laughed, from the way his eyes lit up to his dorky smile, you just couldn't get enough of it but you quickly looked away before he could catch your staring.

“So guess who came up with a plan to kill Batman, uh, ya girl-” but before she could continue a looming shape appeared behind her.

“Look who’s trying to run before she can walk”. Well, as if your night couldn’t get any worse, the Joker was here to completely derail it. Great.

The others laughed and you plastered on a fake smile.

“Mazel Tov!” Bane greeted him.

“Jesus”

“Glad you're here, J-man. Pull up a chair, doesn’t bother me-” Harley pulled out the menu.

“So who’s going beef and who’s going chicken?”

“You are going somewhere else-” Joker demanded.

“-because this is the Legion of Doom table! Why don’t you find the crazy bitch table?”

“Spoiler: it’s not a real table” Bane chipped in.

“That was implied-”

“Oh” Bane frowned.

“Who wants to ditch this jester and tear up Gotham with me?!” Harley yelled, which was only met with manic laughter from the Joker.

“Laugh, laugh with me” Joker ordered. You did your best to sound genuine as you forced a laugh, like the others, but you weren't too sure how convincing you sounded.

“Uhh, you know what, who needs ya’ this table is too far away from the dancefloor anyway!” Harley stomped off.

Joker pulled up a seat and sat down.

“Sorry about that folks, women am i right?” None of you really felt comfortable with that last comment.

“Joker, nice to see ya’, didn’t think you’d make it” TwoFace said, greeting him.

“Well, of course, how could i miss such a big event” he grinned, to you it seemed a bit disingenuous but you let it slide.

“Now, what did I miss?”

“Scarecrow was just telling us how Harley dumped ya’.” TwoFace explained.

“Oh really?”

The smug grin on the Joker’s face dropped as he shot a glare at Scarecrow, who was currently sweating bullets.

“Oh I'm sure you're definitely in a position to talk, Crane, seeing as your single ass can’t even get a date, let alone dump one. And for the record, I dumped her.” you could feel the condescending nature of his tone as he spoke. Jonathan looked down at his drink as Joker continued to talk down to him.

You desperately wanted to say something but were snapped out of your thoughts by a loud voice screaming “assholes-”, you all quickly turned to see where the voice came from, only to find it was Harley bitching about you all to Ivy. Joker shot her a smug grin before turning back to the group. He opened his mouth to speak again only to be cut off.

“But they don’t know shit-” Harley screamed again, shaking their table as she slammed her fists onto it. Luckily, this seemed to distract Joker from his rant long enough for him to forget.

“Now, where was I?” 

Thinking quickly you came up with an answer.

“You were talking about dumping Harley.”

“Ah, yes. Can you believe that, the bitch even blew up my hideout out of spite-” he started going on and on about how he was totally the one who ended it. You looked over to Scarecrow as he sighed a breath of relief and mouthed ‘thank you’. You smiled and nodded at him before facing back to the pasty-white madman in front of you. 

By the time Joker had finished his rant, the food had arrived. It was pretty good, but you and Scarecrow were both too busy stealing looks at each other while the other wasn’t looking to enjoy it. 

“Uuh, my chicken’s rubbery.” Joker grumbled.

 “Ooh, your beef looks good” he said as he slid Bane’s plate over to himself.

“Uh, fine” Bane sighed as he reached for the plate of chicken, wanting at least something to eat.

“Ah-“  Joker swatted his hand away. 

“I might finish that.”

“Well, then, what are we doing?-” Bane protested, but was cut off by a voice over the speakers.

“Hey, everybody, let’s give it up for Joshua’s Bar Mitzvah. Huh?” Penguin stood on stage next to his nephew, Joshua.

“It was very special, for me it was when I realized it was my dream to become a crime lord” he wiped a tear from his eye before continuing. 

“So today, I force that dream onto you.” The crowd cheered as he placed a top-hat, that was identical to his, onto Joshua’s head.

You look out of the corner of your eye and catch Scarecrow staring directly at you. Though he was wearing his mask, you could tell he was blushing by the way his eyes darted away from you as he straightened himself the moment your eyes met, only daring to look back at you to see if you were still staring back at him. You flashed him a cheeky grin as you playfully winked at him, you could swear that you saw his heart completely stop beating inside his chest as you did. 

“Okay, Joshua, get ready for your first caper! Good luck fighting off the guards, also known as Gotham Chuckle Hut’s finest improvisers, and stealing that cash-ola, otherwise known as ‘Joshua Bucks’!” The curtains began to open.

“Go Joshua- Oh my God-”

The curtains opened fully to reveal what seemed to be a massacre. The improv troupe lay in pools of their own blood, you could even see the bone fully stick out of one man’s leg for crying out loud! The culprit stood in the doorway of the vault, after somehow getting it open, and was holding some of the ‘Joshua Bucks’. Judging by your table’s reaction, you could tell who it was. Your suspicions were confirmed when the perp spoke up.

“Hey, Joshy, Mazel Tov!” Yeah, it was Harley. You could get a better view of her as she walked closer and picked up one of the men so it looked like he was standing.

There was an audible gasp from the crowd as she dropped him again, further exposing his bones. In contrast, Joker started laughing maniacally and nugded Bane.

“This is fantastic! You’re probably not laughing because this is sort of how you screw up.”

“You ruined the Bar Mitzvah!” Penguin stated as he walked forward as the crowd booed.

“-and crippled an improv troupe!”

“Meh- oh well”

Bane, TwoFace and Bane quickly stood up, but you and Scarecrow were only now snapping fully back into reality.

“If you two could quit your eye-fucking session and hurry up, it would be greatly appreciated-” Joker snapped at you both as he and the others made their way to the vault room, before you could say anything to defend yourselves. You both looked at each other for a split-second but you quickly pushed down your feelings of embarrassment and speeded after them with Jonathan hot on your heels.

“-and that's our show, folks!” Harley announced and took a bow before darting towards the exit.

“I've got this.” Penguin said, cocking his umbrella gun and taking aim.

There was a loud ‘thud’ as Harley fell to the floor as the tranquilizer dart took effect. You all gathered round to see what was happening.

“Say ‘goodnight, Puddin’.” Joker spoke with a smug grin on his face.

“You think… this is gonna’... stop...me?” her words became more slurred as she slipped into unconsciousness. Joker only laughed at ths threat.

“Hah- She even sounds like you!” he laughed as he turned to Bane.

“Oh- I don't think… Do I sound like… You never hear your own voice I guess.” Bane sputtered out, as two of Penguin’s henchmen picked up Harley’s limp body. You all walked out of the vault room and joined the crowd as the music started playing again.

“I’m assuming this is all you’ll be gossiping about for the next year.” you spoke in a hushed tone as you nudged Scarecrow’s arm. He simply rolled his eyes at you, but did nothing to cover up the dorky grin on his face as he did so. 

“Perhaps.” he said, pausing before he continued.

“When I do, would you like me to leave in the part where I repeatedly caught you staring affectionately at me or no?”

“Oh really, ‘cause I could've sworn that I caught you only a couple of minutes ago doing the exact same thing.” you scoffed, leaning towards him.

 You see a hint of momentary panic in his eyes as he tries to conjure up an excuse and push down the feeling of… warmth?- he got in his stomach as he remembered the part where you winked at him, he couldn’t explain it but it felt familiar. Then it hit him like a brick, he knew exactly where he’d felt this before. He’d felt the same weird, warm, fuzzy, confusing feeling when you had him pinned against that old factory wall and were staring into his eyes. He’d rather die than admit it, but you looming above him, the way your chest rose and fell as you panted, the fact that your mouths were so close that if he so much as tilted his head upward your lips would be touching, might have just awoken something in him.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and saw you still waiting for his answer.

“Guilty as charged.” he shrugged and laughed nervously.

Before you could continue, you both noticed four men carrying Harley, who was tied to a chair and just regaining consciousness now.

“Cut the song- No Horah for Harley” Penguin ordered as the men placed the chair down a couple of feet away from him.

“Hey, it's gonna’ take more than a souped-up parasol to keep me from kicking your ass you fat, flightless bird.” Harley snapped.

“The mouth on her!” Penguin turned to Joshua.

“What better way to become a man than by-”

“-Ohh! Than by touching your umbrella? Whoo!” Joshua snatched the umbrella from his hands. 

“Yes! I’ve been waiting for this!” he stated as he pointed it towards Harley

“Any last words before I kill your dumb, blonde, stupid, smelly-”

“-That’s too many adjectives,” Scarecrow whispered. You nodded in agreement.

“-Idiot ass!” Joshua finished.

“Hey, Joshua, make sure you aim it directly at my head ‘cause you don’t want to miss in front of your friends and family-”

“I won’t miss” Joshua stated as his hand began to shake.

“I don’t know.. That trembly finger’s telling a different story-” she taunted.

“I-it’s not trembly, it’s just- I’ve never shot an umbrella before-”

“I bet there’s a lot of things you’ve never done, like: drunk a beer-”

“-I drunk a beer, like all the time. I always drunk beers” his voice became as shaky as his hand as he looked around the room.

“I bet you still believe in Santy Clause.”

“I-i don’t! I’m Jewish and tonight I’m a man!”

“Oh, that’s right, i forgot that I’m talkin’ to a newly grown man- I mean you’ve already finger-banged somebody.” There was a loud gasp from the audience. Well, this got uncomfortable real quick.

“Wait, what?!”

“I mean you have, haven’t you, you didn’t lie about such an important milestone, right?”

“Y-yeah it happened!”

“Are you sure?” Joshua’s body was fully trembling at this point as he looked over to his uncle, who glared back at him, waiting for him to take the shot.

“I-I don’t… I don’t know… it was dark” he stammered .

“It was at camp, at night… it was me and her and it was dark. I definitely did something” 

“Oh, Joshy, do you really think you're ready to kill someone if you’ve never even finger-blasted a girl?”

“You’re right- I’m not ready” he started to sob as he ran into his mother's arms.

“I told you we should’ve gotten him the dollhouse like he asked, Oswald-” she hissed

“It’s not a dollhouse! It’s an army base with sound  effects of real screams, and it’s the only thing I wanted!” his voice broke half way through his sentence.

“Your dead, Quinn” Penguin spat as he aimed his umbrella at her, but then the sound of glass breaking filled the room and a man fell face-first from the ceiling, followed by Poison Ivy lowering herself down from the newly made hole with a vine. Harley greeted her before doing a front flip onto her back which broke the chair, and something else , you assumed by the way she reacted.

“Uuh, i thought that was gonna be way cooler-” she hissed as the Joker walked up to her.

“Harley, you're not a solo-act, you're a sidekick, an afterthought. No one is ever going to take you seriously. Admit you’re nothing without me and you walk away alive. Or you can die!”

“Welp, easy choice.” the weird green man got up from the floor.

“uh , lovely Bar Mitzvah. Mazel, mazel.” he began to walk away.

“Are you leaving?” Ivy asked him.

“Uh, no-”

“I ain’t admitting shit!” Harley hissed as she picked herself up. Joker only sighed.

“Boys?” he called on the four of you, you all grinned and raced to grab your weapons from the table.

“I’ve got TwoFace.” Harley stated.

“I’ve got [name] and Scarecrow.” Ivy confirmed.

“I have-oh wow- oh God- wow.” Kite-Man stared up to see Bane towering over him, who got even bigger when he started pumping venom into himself.

“You- you’re looming! Um, alright, I’ll take, um… if you don’t mind if you could scootch just a little.” he asked, looking past Bane.

“Boom, onsite coordinator. Looking kind of brittle there, won’t see it-” Bane swatted him to the other side of the room before he could finish.

TwoFace opened fire on the two, but Ivy used her vines as a shield for herself and Harley. Within seconds, Harley was flung over the top of the shield and landed behind you and Scarecrow. You both turn around just in time to dodge the first few swings of her bat but as Scarecrow stepped back Harley kicked his gun right out of his hand and yelled for Ivy to pass her TwoFace’s gun. You spun round to see if Jonathan was alright, only to be met with a bat to the back of the head as Harley snuck up behind you, which caused you to fall forwards. You braced yourself for the feeling of your head hitting the hard tiles but were caught on your way down. You looked up to see Scarecrow grabbing you by the arm, you pushed against him and were able to get back on your feet and tossed him his gun. You glanced behind him to see Harley aiming TwoFace’s gun at his back but fired before you could get out a warning. As the bullets punctured the canisters on his back, the force of the fear toxin rushing out sent him flying. You covered your mouth and ran away to avoid the fear toxin that was already causing people to hallucinate, grabbing your gun as you did. Thankfully, Scarecrow landed a couple of feet from where you were and you rushed over to him. You offered him your hand and quickly pulled him up.

Behind you, Harley continued firing from the stolen gun before Penguin was able to shoot it, causing it to explode in Harley’s hand. As she stepped back in shock, she bumped into TwoFace who pulled out two dual handguns. She began to back away to Ivy as you, Scarecrow and Penguin walked up to join TwoFace, weapons drawn.

“Let’s get out of here!” Ivy yelled. Harley looked behind you all only to see Joker filming the whole thing.

“No, let’s fight! Maybe Kite-Man can help!” They glanced over to where Kite-Man was and witnessed as Bane repeatedly punched him in the head while he had him in a choke-hold.

“Bane, quit dicking around with Kite-Man and get those two.”  Joker snapped.

“But he was attacking me-”

“With what, a kite? Just do as I tell you, you dumb, freakish monster!”

“Bane, why are you letting him talk to you like that?” Harley asked.

“In fact, why do any of you let him talk to you like that?” she began to raise her voice as she looked at the four of you. You all lowered your weapons and looked over to where Joker stood.

“He doesn't even have powers-”  you felt your body stiffen as you shifted your gaze down to the floor. 

“His only power is bullying you into doing what he wants. I should know, he did it to me for years.”

“Don’t listen to her! She’s nothing.” Joker protested.

“She makes a good point, I don’t like how you called me a monster” Bane interrupted him.

“Yeah that was pretty harsh” Scarecrow chipped in and looked to you as you nodded in agreement.

“Oh my God, it’s just an expression-” Joker tried to explain it away before Bane interrupted him.

“Also, let’s talk about dinner-” Bane crossed his arms. “I selected the beef well in advance and you stole it from me, you said you didn’t even want to come to this ‘stupid thing’.”

The crowd gasped.

“My thoughts exactly, this is a monumental night for young Joshua.”

“I’m the Joker, I was joking, okay? Oh my God, I’ll kill her myself.” he said, pulling out his gun and pointing it to Harley’s head, only for Ivy to stand in his way.

“Ivy, if you could just, y’know, just move so I, I can just kill your friend.”

“Absolutely- over my dead body.”

“Uhh- female friendships!” he groaned as he got ready to shoot, but Ivy’s vines suddenly sprouted up behind him and surrounded the three. 

The sudden action caused you to step back and instinctively grab onto Scarecrow’s shoulder, which caused him to freeze momentarily before melting into your touch.

Joker aimed his gun at Ivy’s head but she didn’t move a muscle as her vines closed in on him. High-pitch laughter came from his pocket as his phone rang. He began yelling into the phone about some sort of building issue with his base and ran off, but you weren't really paying attention. You looked down at where your hand was, only to notice a large red stain on his upper-arm, it took you mere seconds to realize that it was blood, his blood even. You assumed he must have knocked into something sharp when he was sent flying a couple of minutes ago. You must have looked fairly shocked, as Jonathan followed your gaze down to the wound and tried to brush your hand away.

“I-I’m fine. -really-” he started, but you only grabbed his arm and noticed a multitude of smaller blood stains all over his right side.

“Jesus, Jon, what did you land on, a pile of cutlery?” you asked, more concerned than anything else.

“Well it might as well have been.” he grumbled, quickly glancing over to the, now, broken table he had landed on.

“Right, well, let’s get you patched up.” you said, lightly tugging on his arm.

“Oh, there’s no need, honestly-” He protested before you cut him off.

“-Jonathan, there is a massive gash on your arm. Now come on, I have a first aid kit at my place.” you began leading him to the main exit.

“A-at your place?” he froze in his tracks.

“Yeah? What’s with the shocked face?” you looked back at him.

“You know I don’t bite, right?” you grinned at him. You said your goodbyes and thanked Mrs. Cobblepot for your invitation before dragging him off despite his insistence that he could just ignore it until the party was over and sort it himself.

“Look, you’ve made it clear that you don’t like it when I help but-”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I… I just didn't want to trouble you, that’s all!” That answer came a little too fast for you to fully believe it but you thought it would be best to drop the subject as it clearly flustered him.

As the two of you walked out into the warm summer night you loosened your grip on his upper-arm and let your hand glide down his arm and wrap around his wrist, not daring to go the full mile and hold his hand, though you could swear you saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes as you did. As the two of you stepped into the parking lot and found your car, Scarecrow cleared his throat.

“[Name]?” he glanced over at you as he got into the passenger's side seat.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“It’s okay if I stay the night, innit’? It’s just that my hideout is on the other side of the city and it’s already really late-”

“Well as long as you don’t mind sleeping on the couch, then sure.” you said as you pulled out of the parking space and onto the main road.

“Cheers, luv.” 

 What followed after that was near miss with an oncoming truck and your face becoming a bright red colour as your brain temporarily short-circuited. You looked over to make sure Jonathan was alright, only to see him gripping onto the seat like his life depended on it. 

“Jesus- if you don’t like me calling you that then you can just say so- Bloody hell!” 

“It’s not that, it’s just-” Your brain was working at 100 mph trying to talk your way out of this because: God- did you love the way he called you that. Unfortunately for you, he quickly caught on and was going to give you hell.

“Oh so you like me calling you ‘luv’, then?” The corners of his mouth curled up into a smirk as he noticed the massive blush on your face. 

“Wh- no- that’s not what I meant!”

“Sure thing, luv.” His smirk had turned into an ear-to-ear grin as he saw your face turn an even darker shade of red. This just elicited a loud, frustrated groan from you.

“I swear to God- do you want me to crash this car!” you snapped at him, smacking your hand off the steering wheel, which was only met with laughter as you yelled a string of expletives.

“You wouldn’t do that.” he stated, still giggling to himself.

“What makes you so sure of that?” You scoffed but you couldn’t deny the way your heart sped up when you saw the dorkiest grin on his face.

“You care about me.” He teased, resting his head on the back of his hands.

“Shut up.” You lightly punch his shoulder.

 You tried to cover up the growing smile on your face with your free hand but failed as Jonathan noticed and pulled your hand down from your face, unintentionally encasing your hand in his. It took you both a while to realize it but once you did his hands immediately shot back to his sides and didn’t look at you for the rest of the car journey instead opting to twiddling his thumbs.

“We’re here.” you called, snapping him out of his daze.

You stepped out of your car and into the apartment block. Seeing as you were both still in costume, you darted for the elevator and hit the button. As the elevator began its ascension you  took this opportunity to take a breather, knowing you would have to leg it to your apartment at the very end of the hallway lest someone see you and call the police. You sighed and leaned against the railing while looking at your reflection in the mirror but you couldn’t help noticing the way Scarecrow straightened the noose around his neck as if it was a tie. For fucks sake, if this keeps up you might just lose it. He met your gaze in the mirror and grinned at you.

“I mean, if you want to watch you can just look at me, it’s less creepy.” he chuckled but suddenly stopped as he winced in pain and grabbed his arm. You straightened yourself and rushed to his side. Luckily, you’d reached your floor and as the doors opened you grabbed Jonathan by the wrist and led to your apartment. You quickly looked around before inserting your key into the door, as you fumbled with the key, Jonathan remained eerily quiet compared to his usual gossipy self. You finally got the door to open and the two of you walked into the empty apartment. You felt about for the lightswitch and eventually found it.

“You go sit down, I’m just going to get the first aid from the bathroom.” you gesture towards the couch and walk off. You rummaged around for a bit, eventually finding it at the very back of the cupboard, you checked it’s contents to make sure you had the right stuff. You made your way into the living room and found Jonathan holding a book you’d left out on the coffee table earlier. He looked up at you and then the first aid kit in your hands.

“Right.” you started, taking out a few bandages. “Show me your arm.” After a few minutes of struggling he managed to roll up his sleeve and outstretched it to you. You gently took his hand and sat down next to him. You, deciding that it was probably best to treat the biggest cut first, took out an antiseptic wipe and lightly dabbed the wound Jonathan winced at this but a soft smile from you seemed to help.

“[name]?” He took a deep breath.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for looking out for me. I know I can be… difficult at times -but I really appreciate you dragging me here instead of leaving me to bleed out at the party.” he laughed nervously and averted his gaze from you.

“You're probably one of the closest friends I’ve ever had.” his voice cracked slightly.

You slightly cringed at the word ‘friends’, well, I suppose you better get comfy in the friend-zone. He swallowed and returned his arm to his side before continuing.

“A-and I’d like to be more than that-” he sputtered, beginning to fiddle with the ends of his noose. 

“You… would?” you looked up at him, your heart feeling like it would burst out of your chest if it beated any faster than it already was.

“Yes.” he grabbed your hands and put them between his.

“I like you- a lot! I like your eyes, your face, the way you always know how to make me laugh” he snapped out of his daze.

“-But, I mean if you don’t feel the same way I completely understand, actually on second thought this was a horrible idea and you probably don’t so I’ll just leave and save you the trouble of kicking me out, like you should-” you could hardly keep up with the word vomit coming out of his mouth as he shot out of his seat.

“I’m sorry, I’ve probably wasted your time ‘cause you probably only see me as a friend and I’ve most likely just ruined our friendship so I’ll just leave and I swear you’ll never have to see me again so-” he made a break for the door but you quickly yanked on his wrist which almost caused him to fall backwards.

 He caught himself just in time but was beginning to wish he’d just fallen to the floor instead as he realized he was using you to support himself and had wrapped his arms around your neck. He tried to push himself away, only for you to snake your arms behind his waist and trap him there. You could practically feel the warm air of his breath on you skin as he panted, you could feel yourself melting into his arms and did not stop him as he squeezed you tight. After a few moments, you managed to sit him back onto the couch.

“I want to be more than friends too.” you spoke softly, not missing the ear-to-ear grin on Jonathan’s face.

You leaned onto him, your head resting on his shoulder, he froze up for a split-second before wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you closer.

“So, how far off was I?”

“Hmm?” you looked up at him.

“Remember earlier? When I said I saw you giving me looks?”

You gave an exasperated sigh and smirked.

“Was it Bane or TwoFace who had to point it out to you?”

“Both.” he answered with a slight laugh.

“But you’re not denying it!” 

“Why would I, you were doing the exact same thing?” you scoffed, giving him a light punch on the arm.

“Oww- okay, okay, fair point.” he laughed as he pulled you back close to him, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes and behind your ear.

“Y’know, if you were anyone else I would’ve killed you” you only half-joked, tracing shapes with your fingers onto his chest.

“I know” he laughed, placing a hand under your chin and lightly lifting it so you two were making eye-contact.

“-And that's what I lo-” he cut himself off. “I mean, like about you” he smiled sheepishly.

You only smiled before cupping his face and pulling him closer.

“I love you too, you fucking dork” you chuckled before leaning in and kissing him.

He practically jumped out his skin when you did, but as the realization sunk in he wrapped both arms around you and kissed back, eyes fluttering shut. His lips pressed softly against yours, as one of his hands travelled up your back and cupped the back of your head. The kiss itself was very soft and didn’t last too long, maybe only a couple of seconds, but to you it felt like an eternity. Your lips finally parted when you both were in desperate need for air, but that dazed look on his face made you want to do it all over again.

“You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that.” you smiled up at him.

“Same here” he added, before quickly pulling you back in for another kiss.

[mrs-gucci]

A Beach Day to Remember {Clyde Logan x Reader}

author’s notes: made it just under the wire for this week’s writer wednesday :) it’s a bit different from my usual writing MO, but I honestly had a blast with it and I’m decently pleased with how it turned out, actually. I wrote this late at night while I was half-asleep lol so sorry if it’s a little all over the place! thanks, as always, to @autumnleaves1991-blog for hosting & @clydesducktape​ for helping out! it’s such a great and fun weekly tradition!

warnings: fluff. humor. romance. beach fun. chair wrestling. a quick lil makeout session (nothing explicit). 

no tw’s :)

word count: 2.2k

clyde’s taglist peeps! @goddessofsprings​ my general taglist peeps!  @frank-and-honey @shygirl268 @icarusinthesea​  @gildedstarlight​ @mrs-zimmerman @soldmysoulagain @roseepossee @pascalisfairyy​ @I-can’t-draw-faces @ahsoka1 @safarigirlsp​ @babbushka

By some miracle, you’d convinced born-and-raised country boy Clyde Logan to accompany you to Miami Beach for a week. A whole week, you couldn’t believe it. 

And...he actually bought a pair of swim trunks. Sure, they were a West Virginia Walmart buy, but hey, he bought a pair; you’ll take what you can get.

Who was this man and what has he done with Clyde Logan?

He’s never really been to the beach before, Mamma Logan didn’t like bein’ in the sun too long and Pappa wasn’t about to cross her, so this was his first time. 

Your family used to vacation here every year, so you were relatively familiar with the notoriously rowdy town. The first evening and night consisted of you showing a wide-eyed Clyde around Miami’s bustling night life. But, when the sun came up the next morning, he was revving to get down to the beach.

You had to talk him down a bit there at first, convincing him to eat somethin’ for breakfast before spending a whole entire day in the sun ‘cause if he passes out, he’s on his own getting back to the condo.

“I’m gon’ go get changed fer the beach!” He says excitedly, clapping his hands together and doing a little jog over to the dresser the second you two get back from your sidewalk cafe breakfast.

You smile at his enthusiasm, trying to remember the last time you saw him so openly excited and smiley. After only a few moments of thought, you realize that you’ve never seen him quite like this before. But, you’re certainly taking a liking to vacation Clyde.

Both Mellie and Jimmy requested plenty of photos of, and this is a direct quote, “Clyde’s long, pasty-ass legs in swim shorts”, and you’re nothing if not accommodating...

As soon as he steps out of the bathroom, you quickly say “Smile!” and snap a picture of him in his leaf-pattern hunter green trunks. He frowns, striding over to where you’re standing.

“Hey now pumpkin, who’re ya sendin’ that off to?”

You giggle, typing out his sibling’s contacts into your messages. “Nobody...”

His eyes widen when he sees Jimmy and Mellie’s names. He tries to grab the phone away from you, but as he takes it, his palm accidentally nudges the little ‘send’ icon. 

“G’damnit! I fuckin’ sent it to ‘em!”

You’re cracking up as he frantically tries to somehow un-send the message, despite you trying to repeatedly convince him that there’s literally nothing that can be done at this point; the message is permanent.

Almost immediately, the replies begin to pile in and Clyde quickly puts a hand over his face as your phone chimes continuously.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

“‘m never gonna hear the end ‘a this when we get back home.” He groans. “Now they got that picture forever and they’re never gonna stop showin’ it...Oh ma god, they’re gonna put it in our weddin’ slideshow, a-and our future kids ‘re gonna see it, and it’s gonna be shown at ma funeral...”

You laugh, shaking your head as you put your hands on his bare, freckle-painted chest. “Hon, I really wouldn’t worry that much about it. It’ll all blow over in a little bit, I promise. Plus, I now have evidence that you actually came to the beach with me. I have a feeling our future kids won’t believe me when I tell them this story someday.”

Clyde starts laughing, running his hands down the curve of your body before landing on your hips. He pulls you in for a kiss, moving his lips gently against yours.

Your face scrunches when he starts licking into your mouth and the bitter taste of zinc overwhelms your taste buds.

“Mmmm, mmm, Clyde?”

He pulls away, brows furrowed.

“Did you put some zinc on your lips?”

His cheeks turn pink and he looks away bashfully. “Oh, yeah, I did. ‘m sorry, I forgot ‘bout that.”

“It’s alright, no need to apologize.” You chuckle, shaking your head. “I love you.”

He smiles, placing a kiss on your forehead this time, rather than your lips.

“Love ya too, pumpkin.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clyde’s like a kid at a candy store when he gets down to the beach, quickly putting the cooler down on the sand and dropping his chair down next to it. The sunglasses sit just above the bridge of his zinc-whitened nose as his head moves around to drink in the sights unfolding before him.

You giggle to yourself as you watch him, setting your beach bag down with the cooler before beginning to set up your chair. But your man quickly jumps in and insists on unfolding the chair for you even though, as you’ll soon find out, he has zero idea how to operate a folding beach chair. To be fair, it was one of those older-fashioned ones that had sustained quite a bit of rust.

“Now, how in the world...?” He grumbles, trying to unfold the stubborn thing. He tries just about every method he could think up, at one point he was trying to use his flip-flop equipped foot to aid in the unfolding process, but he still cannot get the damn chair open.

Eventually, a curious (and very entertained) bystander comes over and helps the two of you out with your chairs, and both of you thank them profusely before finally beginning your day at the beach. Clyde remains standing, continuing to look around at all the things happening on the beach while you lay back and open your book to begin reading.

After a bit of sunning time, you and Clyde head down to the water. You keep your feet in the cool water while he stands further in, little waves crashing mid-calf. He finds a nice shell and runs up to put it back at your little setup while you stay and watch as the natural push and pull of the ocean slowly buries your feet in the sand.

Suddenly, a flesh arm comes on your back and a metallic arm scoops behind your knees, lifting you up as you squeal. 

“Clydeeee!”

He laughs, rushing into the water while holding you bridal-style, water splashing up all over both you and him with each of his massive strides. As soon as he knows he’s deep enough, he starts swinging you back and forth.

“One...Two...”

You’re in a fit of laughter, playfully hitting his chest. “Noooooo! Stooopppp!”

“Three!” Clyde tosses you into the blue-green water of the Atlantic as you screech, a big splash accompanying your collision with the surface.

You emerge a moment later, quickly rushing up and jumping into his arms, causing him to fall backwards into the water. He laughs when he resurfaces and splashes you in the face teasingly, to which you respond by doing the exact same thing.

“No more splashin’!” He says, chuckling to himself at the irony of his exclamation.

You laugh, splashing him one more time. “You’re the one that started it, you goof!”

“Now, let’s not play the blame game, pumpkin.” He smiles jokingly, then wraps his arms around your torso, head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

Both of you spend a bit more time in the water before heading back up to your chairs to dry off in the sun and re-apply sunscreen. Clyde ends up falling asleep, a few shells he found in the water spread out on the top of his thighs as he snoozes.

Only about fifteen minutes later, you look over and put a hand over your mouth to cover the giggles that come when you see that one of the shells has sprouted some legs in preparation for an escape attempt. The creature begins crawling and he starts squirming a bit at the ticklish sensation, clearly beginning to re-awaken from his early afternoon slumber. 

When his eyes blink open and he looks down, he gasps, launching backwards in his chair. Unfortunately, the old-school beach chair already struggles to hold his massive form, so when he jumps back, the chair gives out and breaks clean in half, sending Clyde back into the sand. 

The poor crab is thrust into the sand, but it’s alright, quickly crawling back towards the ocean. You immediately stand up, trying not to laugh too hard until you know he’s completely alright. 

“Oh my fuck...Clyde! Are you okay, hon?”

He nods, chuckling softly. “’m alright, though I can’t say the same for this here chair, though.”

You giggle, helping him sit back up in the sand. When he’s fully sat up, he’s still smiling and laughing, shaking his head.

“Well, I suppose I owe the condo owners a new beach chair.”

--

A full, active day at the beach has you pretty fucking exhausted when you two finally head back up to the condo around four in the afternoon. You take a quick cat nap while Clyde showers, then you hop in and wash off the day’s sunscreen and sand.

While you’re in the shower, Clyde rifles through his duffle and pulls out a little velvet box, popping it open to expose the glittering diamond ring that sits on a little pillow. He smiles at the sight, knowing that tonight’s the night he’s finally gonna ask you to be his forever.

He’s been waiting for the right moment for a short while now, and after the fun y’all had at the beach today and the sunset beach walk he’s planning to take you on before your fancy dinner reservations later this evening...he can’t think of a more perfect time to do it.

You step out of the bathroom and Clyde scrambles to quickly tuck the ring box into his khaki pants pocket. He smooths his hands over the fabric before standing up, face breaking out into a wide smile when he sees the beautiful sundress you’ve got on.

“You’re so beautiful, pumpkin.” He says, smiling as he walks up to you, hands on your hips. “Always so, so beautiful.”

Your expression stretches into a bright, genuine smile as you get up on your tiptoes for a kiss. “Thank you, Clyde. You look awfully handsome yourself this evening.”

“Oh, well, thank ya, darlin’.” His cheeks grow red as he looks down for a moment, shoving his hands down in his pockets. “So, do ya wanna go on a sunset walk ‘fore our reservations?”

You agree, and the two of you head back down to the beach. His fingers fiddle with the little box in his pocket as you walk along the beach. Soon, you reach an old lifeguards stand, painted in brilliant mint green and flamingo pink colors. The ‘No Lifeguard on Duty’ paint is still visible, even after some seeming wear and tear to the outside of the building. 

The sun’s touching down on the horizon line as he guides you up onto the old structure’s small front deck, and you lean over the railing together as the sun sinks down. 

Your head turns to look over at your beloved boyfriend, admiring the way the sherbet sky reflects off of and compliments his alabaster skin. God he’s beautiful, you think to yourself for what has to be the millionth time in your three years of dating Clyde. He’ll forever be the most beautiful man in your eyes.

He turns to you then, standing up with a shaky hand reaching out to take yours. “Uh, Y/N, there’s somethin’...somethin’ I wanna do ‘fore we head off to dinner.”

You nod, eyebrows furrowing.

“Sure, hon. Are you alright, though? You’re shaking a bit.”

“’m alright, pumpkin.”

Clyde nods and then, he sinks down onto one knee, wobbling a bit as he adjusts to the new position. He steadies shortly after and then, he pulls the box out of his pocket and opens it up, exposing the ring he spent hours picking out for you.

You’re in shock, hands over your mouth as he smiles up at you, tears already forming in his eyes.

“Y/N, I-I knew when I first met ya that you were gon’ be the woman I wanted to s...spend the rest of ma life with. Y-Yer so funny ‘n kind ‘n so, so beautiful; yer just...yer perfect, p-pumpkin.”

You feel the tears beginning to spill out of the corners of your eyes as he continues, tears now running down his cheeks as well.

“I love y-ya more than life itself, Y/N, an’ I...I wanna spend the rest of ma livin’ days on this planet by yer side. Will ya...will ya marry me?”

Time seems to stand still for Clyde, then, his nerves overwhelming and overtaking his entire being. The seconds between his final word and your response are some of the longest and most anxious seconds of his life, but damnit, they were well worth it.

“Yes, Clyde, yes. O-Of course I’ll marry you.” You say, smiling as he stands to pull you in for a passionate kiss.

He’s overjoyed, really, heart racing but in the best possible way. You said yes. You’re gonna be his wife, his Mrs. Logan.

“God, I love ya.” Clyde whispers against your lips, pulling the ring from its place on the delicate pillow. “I love ya so, so much, Y/N.”

“I love you t-too, Clyde.” You smile, holding your left hand out for him to slip the ring onto your finger. It’s a perfect fit, and you immediately pull him in for a hug. “I can’t wait to marry you, hon, can’t wait to become Mrs. Logan.”

He grins widely, pressing another few kisses onto your lips.

“Mrs. Y/N Logan, ma beautiful wife, ma forever partner.”

You nod, sniffling softly.

“Your forever partner.”

[littlespoonevan]

still getting good at not leaving

guess who couldn’t help herself and had to write a fix-it fic?!?! lmao look i know this storyline will probably get some sort of resolution in tomorrow’s episode but until then i would like to present u all with this <3 takes place just after the end of 11x02

title from pov by ariana grande

I hope you like it! <3

*

Ian heaves himself up off the floor with a huff when he reaches his hundredth sit-up. Mickey’s still on the bed sorting money into piles and steadfastly ignoring the weight of Ian’s gaze so he decides to go take a shower and hopes the room will feel a little less tense when he comes back.

He doesn’t want to be angry at Mickey is the thing. He loves him more than he’s ever loved anything and he knows who Mickey is. He knows “normal life” and whatever the fuck that’s supposed to be has never been what Mickey’s about. And it’s not- he doesn’t want to change Mickey, y’know? He just wants to keep him here. With Ian. And he can’t do that if Mickey’s back inside a jail cell because they didn’t have enough money for bills at the end of the month.

He dries off and changes into a t-shirt and boxers in the bathroom when he’s finished, hanging his damp towel on top of the shower rod and padding back into the bedroom.

Mickey’s still in the same position he was in when Ian left him but the money’s been hidden away.

“You gonna share a bed with me or is that off the table too?” Mickey grumbles once Ian’s closed the door and Ian can’t help feeling a brief pang of guilt. He’s not doing this to make Mickey think he loves him any less. He sighs, turning around to see Mickey scowling up at him, jaw set defiantly.

“Of course I’m sharing a bed with you,” he murmurs, moving over to the bed and leaning down to kiss the top of Mickey’s head before climbing over him to get settled in the empty space on the mattress.

Mickey slouches a little once Ian’s lying beside him, arms crossed as he casts him a sidelong glance. “I tried today, you know.”

And the thing is, Ian does know. But he also knows Mickey prepared himself for what he perceived to be inevitable failure.

“Mick, you didn’t even put down your real work experience on your resume,” he says, keeping his voice light so Mickey doesn’t think he’s nagging him again. “You’ve had real security jobs before.”

“Yeah but this wasn’t a security job so why would it matter? I was trying to tailor it to the job and shit,” Mickey mutters and Ian gives him a sceptical look. Mickey holds his stare for approximately fifteen seconds before he huffs and looks away. “Whatever. I didn’t want this stupid fucking job anyway.”

“I know you didn’t,” Ian tells him, pushing up on his elbows to mirror Mickey’s position sitting against the wall. He reaches for Mickey’s hand then, relieved when Mickey doesn’t pull away and instead splays his fingers so Ian can fold his own between them.

“I get you don’t just want some crappy minimum wage job for no thanks, alright? I get it. But I also don’t want you to end up in prison again-“

Mickey scoffs and opens his mouth to protest but Ian barrels on before he can say anything.

“Just listen a sec,” he pleads, squeezing Mickey’s hand and eventually getting him to meet his eyes again. “I know you know how to be careful but Mick, you’re on probation. And a Milkovich. The cops don’t need much of an excuse to send you back to jail.”

Mickey doesn’t respond right away but something in his expression softens just a bit, like he finally understands why Ian’s been such a pain in the ass about this.

“You know every time I got caught I did it on purpose?” Mickey says after a beat and that pulls Ian up short. He blinks, shaking his head and Mickey’s expression twists into something that’s almost regretfully amused.

“The first time was because I didn’t rat out your boss for the creepy child groomer he was. Which I should’ve, by the way,” Mickey says pointedly, giving Ian the same knowing look he used to give him every time they had this conversation as teenagers. Ian, now, feels pretty comfortable in saying that he’s been brought around to Mickey’s way of thinking.

“Second time was to avoid my dad in case Frank couldn’t keep his mouth shut,” he continues and Ian winces, running his thumb over the back of Mickey’s hand like he can somehow soothe the old hurt. “Then the time with Sammi- okay, yeah, I didn’t get caught on purpose but that was that bitch’s fault, not mine.”

They haven’t talked about Sammi since they first shared a cell but it still makes Ian uncomfortable to think about that time in their life. To think of how much grief and pain he caused Mickey back then.

“Then I distinctly recall turning myself in for your pasty ass,” Mickey says, bringing Ian back to reality with a teasing lilt to his voice and a smirk as he bumps their shoulders together.

Ian huffs a laugh but his chest still tightens somewhat. He’s not oblivious to how much Mickey has sacrificed for him in the past; it’s more than he’s ever deserved. “I’m glad you did,” he mumbles after a moment. “Even if I don’t like that you had to give up your freedom to do it.”

Mickey shrugs, ducking his head and pulling their joined hands into his lap. “Yeah, well. Where would we be if I didn’t, huh?”

Ian smiles to himself, shaking his head, and thinks of a different moment a long time ago when things weren’t quite this easy. What you and I have makes me free. “Probably not married and arguing about how we’re gonna pay the electricity bill.”

Mickey raises an eyebrow at him, letting out quiet laugh before his expression turns serious. “Listen, we’ll figure out the money stuff.”

“I know,” Ian murmurs, closing the distance between them to punctuate his reply with a kiss. He follows it up with a kiss to the ball of Mickey’s shoulder before he straightens again, letting his head rest back against the wall. “I love you.”

Mickey nods just slightly, a silent I know. A we’re okay. “Love you too.”

Ian smiles at him and tugs on Mickey’s hand until they’re both lying down. And with their legs tangled together and their faces only inches apart on the pillows, he knows they’ll figure it out.

They always do.

*