#i bet he burns like a lobster

[laurents-secret-diary]

oh damen we're really in it now.mp4

[timdrakescoffeecup]

(Updated Sometimes) Tim Drake Fanfic Masterlist

cw's will not be included, so make sure to check the tags. also might include some jason fics too

Bang, bang by Ididloveyou_once

Tim asks Jason to teach him how to use a gun. (One shot, funny)

The Long Way Home by itsnatalie

Tim and Jason get trapped in a labyrinth that shows their worst nightmares. (Multi, angst, hurt/comfort)

like falling water by naheka

Dick crashes at Jason's place, hopped up on fear gas. (One shot, funny)

Bet on it by Lysical

Damian needs Jason's help to hide something from Bruce. (One shot, funny)

Deliver Yourself by forestgreen

Jason adopts his younger self. (Multi, angst)

Banshee In A Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee)

Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.

When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.

But most of all, Tim is alone. (Multi, angst)

Home by sElkieNight60

Tim forgets who he is. (Multi, angst)

Late Night Langoustining by whaleofatime

Jason adopts a lobster. (One shot, funny)

two against the world by carolinaa

While following Batman and Robin, Tim finds a puppy. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by Ultrageekatlarge

Tim blackmails Batman into helping him arrest his murderous uncle. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

See Life As a Worthy Opponent by TriviasGhost

Tim goes to a universe where he never existed. (Multi, incomplete)

The Return by lurkinglurkerwholurks

What the comics neglected to cover after Bruce returns from being lost in time. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Obedience by Sohotthateveryonedied

Something is seriously wrong with Tim—Jason just knows it. Ever since the Mad Hatter incident, Tim has been acting completely different, and the worst part is that no one believes Jason when he tells them so.

But when the truth is eventually revealed, the whole family comes to realize that the situation is far worse than anyone could have ever predicted. (One shot, angst)

To an Athlete Dying Young by SonoSvegliato

A series detailing Tim’s ascension to Robinhood, with angsty Red Hood vigilantes in the background. (Multi, angst)

Matters of the Heart by DM (Nyerus), Nyerus

Kon need's Tim's help with an investigation in Metropolis. Feelings ensue. (Multi, Timkon)

It Wasn't Real (But We Were Happy) by lurkinglurkerwholurks

“Everyone’s fine. You don’t need me anymore. I told you, Bruce. I told you I’d stay until you didn’t need me anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I stayed too long. I should have... I shouldn’t have waited so long." (Multi, angst)

occam's razor by Beatrice eagle

An in-universe reddit thread about Jason's death. (One shot, funny)

To Try, To Err, To Try Again by theLiterator

Tim knits Damian a present. (One shot, wholesome?)

let's get mischievous by CreamofTomatoSoup

Tim's friend gets possessed by Dionysius. (One shot, angst)

Whoopsie by MichaBerry

Tim forgets to tell that he lost his spleen. Oops. (One shot, angst?)

Latchkey by goldkirk

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you.

Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there. (Multi, hurt/comfort, this is a MUST READ for timfics)

Trouble Magnet by strikeyoucolors

"It's like you've been synchronized into passively hostile acts against Tim. Did he do something? Were you brainwashed? Because I now have a son who has been crushed, had his face broken, and been shot. All incidences of friendly fire. " (One shot, funny)

Echoes of You by SilverSkiesAtMidnight

Milk white skin beneath the mud, black hair hanging in muddy clumps around his ears. Blue eyes staring back at him, animal-bright and dilated in the brief moment before he flinches back from the light with a cry of pain that stabs through Jason to the soul. (One shot, angst)

A Simple Life by RenaRoo

Tim Drake is living a simple life in one of the worst parts of Gotham. He makes the best of it, though. He makes for himself the only life he's ever known...

He thinks. (One shot, angst)

The Wound Begins to Bleed by audreycritter

Now that Tim’s moved back to the manor, he just wants a few afternoons a week without Damian around.

Funny how getting that was the catalyst for him becoming a better big brother. (One shot, brotherly bonding)

Hey, Lawman! by dinolaur

Tim goes MIA during lunch. (One shot, funny)

Gotham Banksy by LananiA3O

After finding out that he remains unavenged, Jason returns to Gotham, but instead of deciding to kill Bruce, he decides to channel his rage into a more creative endeavor: spray-painting Gotham until the message is loud and clear to everyone: fuck Batman. (Multi, angst)

Breaking News: Local Teen Given Intervention For Normal Behaviour by yellowrooster

Tim ends up in an alternate dimension where he's considered a drug addict. (One shot, funny)

Bay Through Hell by GordandV

Tim is mermaid. (Multi, AU)

Hot Dog, French Fries by eggmacguffin

Damian tries to hide that he's been hit with a truth serum. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

What happens in Vegas by Ididloveyou_once

Tim and Kon get married in Vegas, while drunk. (Multi, timkon)

Quarter past midnight by Aaren

Instead of being found by Talia after crawling out of his grave, Jason becomes a nurse. (Multi, canon divergence)

(Un)Wanted by Mika-chan (mikarin)

Tim gets kidnapped. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

A Midafternoon Beetdown by whaleofatime

Jason cosplays as a organic farmer. (One shot, funny)

Liminal Space by Calamityjim

Bruce's habit of collecting strays isn't limited by dimension. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Can't Stay Down (a Documentary) by SonoSvegliato

Tim gets his tonsils removed. (Multi, funny)

Surveillance by smilebackwards

Tim is a civilian who contributes to crime fighting by taking surveillance photos and leaving them on the desktop of the Batcomputer. (Multi, found family)

Chemistry of a Car Crash by anthologia

Tim gets into a car crash. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

Bet It all On Red by centreoftheselights

Instead of becoming enemies, Robin and Red Hood form an alliance. (One shot series, canon divergence)

False Dichotomy by heartslogos

Red Hood calls Red Robin's bandoliers "super convenient idiot handles". (One shot)

don't take you guns to town by kreestar

batman comes home from a night patrolling to find a 10 year old jason todd waiting for him in his kitchen. across gotham, at the same time, red hood is stopped by a 25 year old bruce wayne. (One shot, angst)

Stubborn by audreycritter

When your butler mom calls and says, "Go check on your brother," you don't argue. You just do it. (Multi, sickfic)

I'm Just Fine by girlgeekjf

After rescuing a group of kidnapped children, Tim reflects on what he could’ve done better. (One shot, hurt/comfort)

A Christmas Miracle by Mithen

Damian and Dick go undercover to bust a child-kidnapping ring whose members dress up as Santa Claus. (One shot, funny)

Confidence Lost by C_R_Scott

Everything about Neal Caffrey’s past prior to his 18th birthday is a mystery, even to him. However, when someone unexpectedly recognizes him by a name that he has never used as an alias before, he learns that the biggest con of his life is literally his life. (or, tim is neal caffrey from white collar) (multi, crossover)

Exit Wounds by incogneat_oh

Did you hear this one? A vigilante walks into a warehouse and kills the joker. (One shot, angst)

If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You) by lurkinglurkerwholurks

Five times Jason saved his siblings, and one time they saved him. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Normally People Pass Out After by WriterfromGotham

Tim donates blood. (One shot, angst and fluff)

In Living Memory by DangerBeckett

Jason remembers why he stays out of other people's business. (One shot, angst)

Set My Mind To Wandering by Tabithian

Tim goes on a vacation. (One shot series, angst)

A Little Bit of Sunshine, A Little Bit of Rain by ohwhatevrewhatevr

For once, Tim is happy with his life. (One shot, fluff?)

American Ninja Worrier by DangerBeckett

Tim hires a ninja intern. Jason becomes concerned. (One shot, funny)

The Wrong Boy is Breathing by heartslogos

Tim visits Jason's grave all the time. (One shot, angst)

Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw by GoAwayOlivia

Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also he might just make friends with the people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

The Art of Conversation by glassgoblin

Robin needs to talk to a friend, but everyone is a little busy. (One shot, angst)

Road Rage Robin by heartslogos

"I’d be doing humanity a favor.” Tim grinds out, “And I would get away with it. I could totally get away with it. I’ve done worse.“ (One shot, funny)

How to be a male Batgirl by Blackjay27

There are many ways to help Batman and Robin, but no matter which universe he's in, Tim's method will always end with him in a costume on Gotham's rooftops. (Multi, canon divergence)

I Saw Grayson Kissing Santa Claus by pupeez4eva

It’s Christmas time, and Damian is on a mission - to stop this ‘Santa Claus’ fellow from molesting his older brother. (Multi, funny) (this fic is so funny it made me cackle out loud)

Favourite Strangers by SpiritsFlame

It's been six months since Bruce's actions led to the death of Superman. (One shot, crossover with the movies?)

show me yesterday, for i can't find today by indent

Then: The year is 2013. Jason Todd is alive, fourteen years old, and about to follow Sheila Haywood, his birth mother, into the hands of the Joker. All he wants is to save her life.

Now: The year is 2018. Jason Todd was dead. But now he's a nineteen year old vigilante about to take down the latest C-Lister rogue. Unfortunately for him, its a rogue that specialises in time-travel technology. And what starts as an easy takedown...ends as a time travelling phenomenon.

The two Jasons swap places. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Retrograde Motion by Lysical

All Jason wanted was a case that was simple, clean, and far away from the latest mess in Gotham. Magic wasn't the Outlaws' area of expertise, but they soon found themselves investigating a dark wizard with a penchant for organ harvesting.

When an accident on the case leaves Jason as a clueless seven year old with a memory that's spotty at best, what else can his team do but go to his family for help? (Multi, hurt/comfort?)

anglerfish by envysparkler

Robin was having a horrible night even before the Red Hood showed up. (One shot, angst)

Tso'ape Mumbichi by keeptogethernow

Tim is Talon. (Multi, AU)

Kodokuno Shoujo (A Lonely Girl) by C_R_Scott

A tale of two Robins wrapped up in an Asian-style horror story. Tim Drake goes to Japan for business, both for Wayne Enterprises and Batman Incorporated. However, when he returns to Gotham City, it's Damian Wayne who discovers he brought along more from his trip overseas than just his luggage and mission report. (Multi, horror)

at me, too, someone is looking by bacondoughnut

Dick Grayson knows he's got problems when the Red Hood's busted leg somehow becomes his concern. (Multi, hurt/comfort)

Help by Loxare

Jason never went to Gotham after he emerged from the Lazarus Pit. Instead, he went to Bludhaven to begin his reign of terror. (Or Jason adopts all the children of Bludhaven.) (Multi, fluff)

Lean on me by Musingsofthesky

Tim just wants to hang out with Bruce. Too bad his cold has other plans. (One shot, sickfic)

The Ol' Switcheroo by AutumnHobbit

Damian takes a bullet for Tim. (One shot, angst)

Meant to be by protagonistically

Tim takes a bullet for Bruce. (One shot, angst)

Juneberries by MichaBerry

When Tim is taken, Damian has to come to terms with his own insecurities, and how he really feels towards his older 'brother'. When he does, it might be too late. (Multi, angst)

though the sun continues to stand by metropolisjournal (TKodami)

Tim in the movie universe. (Multi, angst)

The Time We've Got by DawnsEternalLight

While on an emergency Redbull run, Tim tries to talk to his adopted father. (One shot, fluff)

[almostdeath]

I made a promise and I kept it. Here is the one shot. Its relatively small but I really like those boys.

LN!Quackity/Glatt

No actual warnings, alcohol, casino and other adult topics are there but no NSFW. Enjoy!

Good luck kiss

A cacophony of voices could be heard outside the walls of the casino, as a new day has begun or well, it would be more accurate to say that the day in the casino never ends. In the city where the majority of humanities vices are legal, the casino is open 23 hours a day, the hour in which a massive break takes place is the time where the business restokes the storage of beverages and food, emptying the machines of the money that people mindlessly lose with the hopes of luck being on their side. Some processes can be seen as automated as the machines and cash register seem to open on their own without a key needed. Though its not the advanced technology that makes it possible but rather a spiritual power.

Glatt was sitting on the bar stool next to one of the most profitable parts of the establishment, some may argue that the only money spend on the drinks is coming from the ghost himself, but he brushes those jokes aside, as they are way too obvious in his opinion. The ghost was leaning back, sipping on the burning booze that was filling up his glass but had no effect on him, using the free hand to wave around with fingers, manipulating the machines to open and empty themselves out. The days were passing in a routineus manner, not that he could complain, after losing the bet, he was in a rather “Win-win” scenario. He can stay and be his own person, instead of being in the need of bringing his alive version back, he had a place to stay, he had a clear purpose, and he was partially in control of things. It did remind him of Manbergs better days with one, noticeably clear difference. Quackity. The duck hybrid clearly changed. Besides of the obvious scar and a different outfit, he seemed more confident, not as naïve, and gullible, he may still not be the tallest person in a room, but he had the voice of a man, who knows what he wants. It wasn’t aligning with Glatts memories of him but sometimes, he could still see the man that he once married. The short-lived stutter in his voice when the ghost calls him an older pet name, the genuine smile that reaches the ducks eyes when he interacts with the younger members of Las Nevadas, the willingness to accept piles of works. The last part caused the ghost to furrow his eyebrows. He couldn’t remember why there were so many piles and why he simply left them on his VPs desk. It didn’t matter now but the holes in his memories were wearing a rather frustrating character. The man shook his head before his dead, amber eyes caught the glimpse of yellow feathers, when the owner of Las Nevadas let himself fall on the stool next to him.

Glatt let out a low chuckle before causing a bottle of strong beverage to float and pour its own content in another glass, pushing it towards the duck hybrid. Quackity looked at the ghost with his one seeing eye before stretching, putting one of his arms on his elbow, letting out a groan, stretching till there was an audible pop in his spine, causing his feathers to ruffle, puffing out before he relaxed his whole body, slamming his arms on the table and allowing his wings to fold tranquilly on his back., wrapping his fingers around the glass with the amber liquid in it, splashing against the transparent walls. -Rough hour boss?- there was a smirk on Glatts face, emitting a slight mockery as…yes in terms of their deal, Quackity would be his boss but none of them really used that term. The duck hybrid only rolled his one good eye, as the other kept unmoving. -As you can tell. We couldn’t get any lobster, so now three of the main dishes on the menu have to be scratched from it, till we get a delivery, two of the staff called in sick and I had to make a few phone calls to get a replacement, Fundy is complaining about needing a parental leave….he knows that we don’t have that here, right? Nowhere in the contract it says that this would be provided. So…I said that he can bring the kid if he has no nanny on this server.- the owner of the casino took a bigger sip from his drink, letting out a hot sigh and slamming the glass on the table, grimacing from the burning sensation in his mouth and throat, causing the ghost to burst into a laughter, which caused the colourful lights of the various machines to flicker. -Ya know, when I asked, I didn’t really think ya would dump this shit all over me but eh…ya know, my advice would be, buy frozen shit, cheaper and gets less worry….and look, I am no fucking babysitter, the kid is gonna get turned into some coat by the first convict. And speaking about kids. Tell the definitely human one to stop putting his damn goop inside the machines. Do I look like a mechanic or maid to ya? I agreed to run this hole, not clean it- Quackity only shook his head. -I will remind him. And…I don’t remember asking for your advice. Besides, you really think people wont notice me cheaping out?- the ghost only shrugged. -They will be too drunk and greedy to notice anything, pumpkin.- the ram hybrids ear twitched at the raising sound of voices talking behind the door, causing him to smirk. -Yar loyal fans are waiting for ya. Wanna get a good luck kiss, eh?- The ghost rested his head on the open palm of his arm, leaning on the bar counter, having a wide grin on his face. Quackity emptied his own glass, jumping off the stool, causing the heels of his shoes to clack against the floor, straightening his dress-shirt before looking at the ghost in a torn suit, under which was a blue sweater that stayed on him despite them being in a literal desert. He narrowed his eyes before scrunching up his nose and huffing. -I don’t need any luck, Glatt.- turning away and looking around before looking down at the ground, feeling the rows of yellow feather on his neck rise and fluff up, smirking before making an 180 turn on his heels, stepping over to the ghost. -But you definitely need some. After all, I expect great profit from your cooperation.- was uttered before the duck hybrid grabbed the man by one of the horns, pulling him down and uniting their lips in a rather passionate kiss. All light in the casino turned on, seeming like they are about to burn on the light bulbs, the establishment filled up with the noise of machines rapidly playing, slot machines were rapidly changing the pictures, the sound of coins shooting out of the winning sections and the repeated, robotic voice shouting “jackpot” was echoing.

Quackity took a step back, using the back of his palm to clean off his lips before walking off, leaving the ghost at the bar, and throwing one last sentence at him. -Seems like you have won something.-

[scarlett-vixen]

Once again @bearyposts had a very cute idea and I ran with it! I switched it up just a little bit I hope you don’t mind!

Prompt: B- Beach

Pairing: Luke x gn!reader (but not like that you weirdo)

Genre: Fluff!!

“The whole day??”

“Yep! The entire day! You better hurry up, I bet the tide washed up a lot of cool stuff last night!”

Luke took off to go change for your day out, leaving you and Simeon alone to quietly laugh at how excited he was. The young angel was always so happy to see you and always so eager to help you out with any task you had, however the two of you never got a chance to spend time together without a bunch of loud demons hanging around.

You had mentioned this to Barbatos one day while learning a new recipe at the Demon Lord’s Castle, it had been his idea to ask Lord Diavolo for access to his private beach, you thought it was a great idea and had gone to search for the prince immediately.

Your original request was just to have access to the beach for a few hours so you and Luke could enjoy some quality time together, but Diavolo had given you the entire day instead.

You had texted Simeon the night before, informing him of your plan to surprise Luke and take him for the whole day, Simeon of course thought it was a wonderful idea and promised not to say anything.

Watching Luke’s eyes light up when you finally told him the next morning was worth the wait, he had changed clothes in record time and was now pulling you out of the room by your arm, he was still beaming with joy and for a moment you thought he may start vibrating from excitement.

“Make sure he wears sunscreen!! Angels have sensitive skin!!” Simeon called after you like a protective mother.

“What should we do first?” Luke asked the minute you arrived at Diavolo’s private beach.

“Well, it’s still pretty early, the sun is still rising so I thought we could walk along the shore and see what cool stuff we can find!” The young angel made a beeline for the water and you chased after him.

The two of you walked along the shore for a while, occasionally stopping when one of you found something interesting, Luke was proud to show you every cool shell he saw but was in total awe when you found a broken sand dollar and gave it to him.

Eventually you both returned to the umbrella and chairs where your stuff was sitting, Luke was afraid of losing his new momento so he asked you to hold onto it for him, you safely tucked it away in the bag you brought so you could focus on the next activity.

“OH! Can we build a sandcastle?? But like a really big one! With a moat?” Luke asked, already holding the bucket.

“Sure,” you laughed a little “but first you better put on sunscreen, I’m not getting yelled at by Simeon if you burn!”

“Ugh, fiiine.” Luke groaned as you passed him the lotion. “Why does Simeon have to treat me like a little kid?”

“Well, you wouldn’t want Micheal to see you red like a lobster now would you?” You teased. Luke started to respond but quickly stopped, he knew you were right.

The next two hours were spent putting together the biggest sandcastle you had ever seen….or so you thought.

“BIGGER?! Luke how big do you want this to be? I’m pretty sure you can see this from Purgatory Hall at this point!” You laughed, he was a very ambitious angel that was for sure.

“Yes!! This is just the first level! We need to add more, and the moat still isn’t finished— OH! We should add a drawbridge!!” Before you could answer Luke took off to look for something to act as a bridge.

The rest of the afternoon was just as fun, you continued to add on to the massive sandcastle, you both spent time in the water to cool off, you found a big stick and wrote your names in the sand and doodled little drawings around them, you saw several school of fish swim by while standing in the water, you even managed to catch a few in the moat on accident when the tide started to come back in.

After a very full day of fun in the sun you told Luke it was time to head back, he started to complain but quickly changed his tune when he realized he could show Simeon all the pictures you took together.

“We’re back!” You chimed.

“Oh! Did you two have—“

“SIMEON SIMEON LOOK!! We built a sandcastle bigger than Diavolo’s castle and we saw a bunch of fish and we—“ Luke continued to babble on about your day together, Simeon was desperately trying to keep up as the young angel scrolled through all the photos. “OH AND CHECK THIS OUT!!”

Luke pulled the sand dollar from his pocket, showing it off to Simeon and telling him all about it. You couldn’t help but smile at how adorable it was watching him explain what exactly a sand dollar was, something you had just taught him earlier in the day.

You said your goodbyes and headed back home, worn out and ready to eat a quick dinner and head to bed. As you walked up the steps to the House of Lamentation you heard yelling from inside, not unusual but this yelling sounded frantic, you opened the door and followed the sound of the voices. In the living room you found five of the seven brothers all panicking and yelling.

“WHAT DO WE DO?!”

“I don’t understand!! How could this happen?”

“HOW DID WE LOSE A WHOLE HUMAN??”

“Did we not show them enough love??”

“MAYBE YOU DIDN’T BUT I KNOW I SHOWED ‘EM PLENTY OF LOVE!! How could they just leave like that??”

You were far too invested in the scene playing out, Asmodeus was draped on the couch with his arm over his face in true drama queen fashion, Satan was vigorously shaking Levi who seemed to be hyperventilating and repeating himself, Belphie and Mammon were the only ones still searching…although you weren’t sure the the couch cushions were a great place to look.

“Did you lose your house keys again?” You finally asked loud enough to be heard over the commotion.

“NO I DIDN’T LOSE MY KEYS!! YOU KNOW DAMN—“ Mammon paused, registering your voice for a minute.

In total unison all five yelled your name and beamed with joy, you just smiled and laughed. You could see all of them immediately relax after seeing you in the doorway, suddenly realizing that you may have forgot to tell them about your plans for the day and that you didn’t have great signal at the beach to receive texts and calls, you wondered just how long they had been searching for you.

“LISTEN UP! I just heard back from Lord Diav—” Lucifer barged into the room, visibly distraught. His hair a mess, his coat missing and tie undone around his neck, you did your best to contain your laughter. “How did you—”

“YOU FOUND THEM!!!”

You recognized the loud voice behind you and knew what was about to happen, you turned quickly trying to brace yourself and stop the large demon from plowing into you, you were far too late.

“No Beel wait!!” In an instant you were trapped against his chest, his vice like hug ripping all the air from your lungs, your feet wiggled as he lifted you off the ground. “I can’t…breathe please Beel.”

Your plea for air was ignored, instead you were swarmed by the other six brothers all joinng the hug and telling you how much they were worried about you. You realized just how quickly these demons fell apart when you weren’t around, all this fuss because you took one day to spend time with Luke.

You loved these big idiots.

[oyasuminto]

🥪🥞🎲 for Yohan please? And 🔪🌌🪤 for Argus? :)

🥪 On a scale from ‘burns water’ to ‘5 course menu’ how well can your OC cook?

Yohan is honestly pretty competent in the kitchen! He always helped his parents with dinner as a kid, and while he may get a little too experimental at times, letting him cook is usually a safe bet.

🥞 Does your OC take proper care of themselves, like getting enough sleep and eating properly?

MMMMMMMM DEBATABLE! Yohan usually has a pretty good routine in terms of self-care, but every now and then the ADHD gremlin takes over and suddenly it's 4 am and he's learning niche facts about lobsters on Wikipedia.

🎲 If your OC played a pen and paper RPG, what class would they pick? Warrior, mage, thief, ranger, cleric, paladin, druid, necromancer, bard (or other, if that’s not enough).

I think Yohan would want to play as a warrior or a paladin. He likes picking up a sword and fighting for what's right!! And maybe some kissies!!

🔪 What does your OC think how they’ll die?

Argus thinks about his death more than he'd admit. He tells himself that he'll die after a long, happy life in the house he built, surrounded by his wife and kids and grandkids.

He remembers how his father died, terrified, struggling, clutching his heart. Sometimes his chest hurts, or his rhythm is irregular and he wonders if he'll go out the same way.

Sometimes the self-loathing gets too strong. He didn't leave the house for weeks so no-one could see the bruises around his throat and know he's a fucking failure even when it comes to dying.

🌌 If your OC has a nightmare, what’s it most likely about?

It varies. One night blood will fill his lungs and choke him as he silently screams. The next, he is in his childhood house wandering down endless hallways that keep getting longer and longer as something chases him.

🪤 What is one thing that could be used to lure your OC into a trap?

Anything to do with his current obsession, even tangentially. It'll short out the reasoning center of his brain and before long you'll have trapped yourself an angry bastard man.

[cetaceans-pls]

Hold On, Hold In

Bruce willingly wades into a brutal fight, in the mood for something vicious and dramatic.

Jason takes him out (and under).

Bruce Wayne week 2022, day 5: “I’m vengeance“; rated M, BruJay

a lil more 😳 than usual lads... nothing explicit but uhm there’s some d/s energy in there god love us.

-

“I’m vengeance,” Batman says in a growl so low it hits the hindbrain first, so quiet that the henchmen find themselves straining to hear him even as they’re busy shaking in their shoes.

“I’m the night.”

The lights cut off with a dramatic clunk, all 6 men let out panicked screams none of them would admit to, and at least one person wets themselves in that warehouse that night.

-

“Bet you were mighty proud of yourself,” Jason murmurs, running his hand through Bruce’s hair, petting him like he’s a not a 200-pound vigilante who is the first recorded human being to make representatives of three different alien species cry.

Bruce groans, sloshing a little in the bath tub, but careful not to slosh too much because it’s hot enough to scald. Where he’s not covered in bruises he’s boiled-lobster red, and looks very much like a large sulking dog (still keen to receive his owner’s attention). “I told you to stop watching the cowl cam when I’m out on patrol,” Bruce growls, exactly the pitch and timbre that populates the dreams of many a Gotham goon.

Jason laughs at him, affectionate and mean. “Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t somehow sense that you’d pulled out the whole ‘I am vengeance I am the night’ card, B. It’s a full moon, and I know you can’t resist the little bit of extra drama.” He peruses the series of bruises running along Bruce’s back, pressing in purposely too hard on one that’s the size of his palm.

Bruce hisses; they both shudder.

“It was necessary,” Bruce says, trying to stay on track (to god knows where). “I needed to make a bold distraction so that the engineers could sneak out.”

“Mmhmm.” Jason continues his not-very-gentle but horribly, deeply loving lookover of Bruce, running his nails up and down his back. “Wow, you’re so right, the only way to address that situation was definitely to freak the shit out of trigger-happy henchmen and then throw yourself face first at them.” He pulls his hand back up, then wraps it very gently, very intently around Bruce’s neck. “Couldn’t call for back up, huh? What’s up with that.”

He squeezes, just a little. “Bat got your throat?”

It doesn’t get him much of a response, just a hitch in Bruce’s breathing, an instinctive tensing then a sweet lean into the hold, making a loose grip a little tighter.

That’s a yes, then. “Poor B,” Jason murmurs, and he half means it. “I kick it with the Outlaws for a couple of weeks, and you’re back to being a gloomy gargoyle trying to get shot in the face.” He leans over, presses a kiss to the side of Bruce’s head, and starts pressing him down and down.

Water creeps up Bruce’s chest, up his neck, starts burning Jason’s hand, but their eyes are still tight on each other.

“You need a reminder of how to take care of yourself? Lucky you I’m so damn gifted at the job, huh, B?”

Jason doesn’t wait for a response, just carries on taking Bruce under(water), till the bath water closes over the top of his head, dark hair gone floaty and dreamy, his eyes closed and his face a little blissful.

Christ, should have brought his phone in with him, take a picture. It’s a mangled mess of fairytales, but Jason wants to lean over to kiss his lady in the water, wake him up, whisk him away.

But it’s his hand holding Bruce down, because if Bruce is vengeance then Jason’s the satisfaction that comes after a good job well done. 

They remain there in this weird little tableau that smells of cedar epsom salts, and they could remain here for up to 4 minutes without too much fuss given Bruce’s lung capacity, but Jason’s dutifully counted up to 90 when there’s movement under water.

Bruce had reached up and very lightly tapped on the back of Jason’s hand. One tap, two taps, then he’s slack again, leaving it up to Jason to decide if they keep going.

It’s a farce, but it’s a loving one. Jason is actually singularly terrible at saying no to polite requests; Alfred all on his own could convince him to take over the White House, easy peasy.

Bruce’s tentative requests he cannot manage to voice?

We-ell. Jason’s always been famous for exceeding expectations.

He slowly pulls Bruce out of this makeshift baptism, gives the man a moment to blink water out of his eyes, takes a second to enjoy how the hot water’s got him all flushed all over.

“Again?”

Jason snorts. “Some other time, B. You look half dead.”

Bruce looks a little under, still dreamy and floaty like there’s still 6 inches of water between him and the world. He looks like he’ll ask for again and again and again to chase the easy mindless high, and times like these it’s Jason’s duty to say no.

After all, B has lots of wants but it’s Jason’s duty-and-right-and-privilege to meet his needs.

“Up and out, big guy, don’t pout, it’s not cute.” It’s actually hideously cute. “You need to rest up, so’s you don’t have an excuse when I beat your ass in sparring tomorrow. You wanna be a skulking shadow that almost gets shot by morally-ambiguous characters?” Jason grins, before leaning down to kiss Bruce silly.

“Babe, all you need to do is ask.”

[dustteller]

Oh no, not bad healthcare for the rich people! I just feel soooo bad you know, its always such a tragedy when colonizers move here to exploit our island and puertorricans don't bend over backwards to make their lives easier! Its so waful when the sufferings of the mangey poor unwashed masses also happen to affect the wealthy and privileged!

It's already bad enough that they had to go through a power outage! I mean, they were fine, they weren't like those disgusting gross people that dared to not have enough resources to survive a sudden deadly freeze and the subsequent government mismanagement. But it was just so cold! How can their delicate rich people skin EVER survive being a bit chilly!

Of course, the solution is to move to an island with a better history with natural disasters and a much more functional power grid! Plus, its got such a storied history with piracy! I know it does, because its in the caribbean and I watched Pirates of the Caribbean once! I bet the island is perfect for my pirate adventure, just like Sir Francis Drake!

And you don't even have to interact with the locals! You get to hang out with other proper rich people, as the lord intended! God forbid you move somewhere and actually have to suffer living amongst the dregs of society, can you imagine how terrible it must be to interact with the people you're colonizing?

But like, when we moved to a poor country, we didn't think the poverty would affect US??? We're rich! It's so awful that we don't get special treatment just because we turn into a (very) expensive lobster once we're out in the sun for longer than five minutes! Its such a fucking hassle when the poors don't know their place serving us! If we have any healthcare problems, we have to waste time getting a flight somewhere with PROPER healthcare! Its so rude to treat such important guests like that, the island rabble should be ashamed of themselves for letting us be mildly inconvenienced!

Ok, sarcasm aside, I HATE these articles with a burning passion. Its always rich americans that have enough money that they can just drop everything and relocate somewhere on a whim, and they always get upset that the poor countries they're taking advantage of are, in fact, poor countries with structural issues. Its so clear they never do any research, ever, and they're always upset that they have to deal with the same issues the rest of us do. And the thing is, they're rich. They have a support system somewhere else in a better area. They can literally just move back at any time with minor worries. None of these issues are actually more than a mild inconvenience to them, because if they were, THEY WOULDN'T BE HERE. Meanwhile, us puertorricans? We actually have to live here. I have family members that have died due to the healthcare crisis on the island. So do most of my friends. We struggle to find doctors with the space to see us, and god forbid we actually need a specialist. It took my grandma with cancer weeks to be able to see a doctor that specialized in cancer treatment so she could start chemo. To recieve basic mental health care, I had to do an outpatient hospitalization because there just aren't enough therapists on the island. And that's for us, who are lucky enough to be able to afford it. Not everybody can. In fact, most people can't. I and my family are amongst the luckiest here, and even we couldn't even come close to reaching the level of americans like these. My uncle's son is severely disabled, and hes lucky that he lives in New York, so he has access to services for himself and his family. He can't even visit Puerto Rico with his family because there just aren't enough services for his son to be safe here. Him and his wife take turns visiting family every few years, usually for family emergencies. His son will probably never step foot on the island. And, again, we are the lucky ones, and we struggle a lot with the situation here.

All that is without getting into other issues here. LUMA, our power company, is incompetent. We have constant power outages. A few days ago I spent a whole day without water because the water treatment plant didn't have electricity. We were prepared, because this occurs often enough that we have so many of containers of water stored away for when it happens. It was only for a few hours, so it didn't bother us. We're used to it. During summers, its common for there to be water rationing. Basically, the government shuts down water access for one to three days, and then you get a day of water. Repeat this for weeks if not months at a time. After Maria, I didn't have power from September 20th to January 11th. Luckily, the water was only gone for a week. Do you know what the Act 20's (americans who are here for tax benefits) do when this happens? They leave. They just pack their bags and head back to whatever layer of hell they came from, and they get to have a nice time visiting their family for a bit, and then they come back and can pretend it never happened because to them it didn't. They don't have to go through this. When our issues turn from a mild inconvenience into something they don't feel like dealing with, they get to take themselves out of the situation.

We can't do that. Do you know what happens when we cant take it anymore? We have to deal with it. Or, alternatively, we get to consider the posibility of leaving our whole lives behind, not because we want to, but because we need to. To leave our friends, our parents, our homes, our whole support systems, to venture into the unknown alone. When my uncle left for New York, he did not think he was going on a pirate adventure. He was thinking about how he was going to afford rent on his own. He was thinking about how New York was where the good jobs were, and if he and his wife wanted to live a stable life, they had to make that decision. He was thinking about how he didn't know how to dress for the New York winters, and there was no one there to teach him. He was thinking about how, for those first six months, he was completely alone amongst strangers that didn't want him there. The only reason he and his wife were able to make it was because of other hispanic immigrants that took them under their wing and taught them how to do what they needed to to survive this new, unfamiliar, unflinchingly hostile place. For them, moving away from home wasn't an adventure at all. It was a shared tragedy.

I think often about leaving. I love my island so much. I don't want to leave. I've spent a few years in New York for college, and it is so difficult. I love New York, I really do, but every second I spend there I can feel the wrongness resonating down to my bones. My home is etched there in the white stone inside me, and being away from it hurts. But I did it because I know an US degree is worth more than a PR one back home. I did it because there are resources there that I can't match in Puerto Rico. I did it because I thought that if I paid my dues now, there might not come the day that I have to pay penance there forever and be buried somewhere where there will be snow on my grave.

I'm looking for a job now in Puerto Rico. One of the jobs I applied to had 850 other applicants alone. Most others are also flooded with applications. I know I'm not going to find anything above minimum wage here. Im hoping that I'm smart enough, talented enough, lucky enough to be able to claw my way up and find a way to be able to stay. I'm terrified that I will have to leave anyways, that all my best efforts will not be enough, because hard work has never saved us from having to leave.

So no, Mrs. Sarah Lindsey and Mr. Sean Flynn, I don't feel bad for you. I don't feel bad that a couple of colonizers had enough privilege to be able to describe uprooting their entire lives as "wanting a change of scenery" or "looking for adventure of some sort, a pirate adventure." The struggles you can so easily just leave when cosplaying as poor island people no longer suits you are the ones we bear for the price of being able to live in our home. And, additionally, I would like you to know that Puerto Rico is quite the ironic place to live out your little fantasy. You want to be Sir Francis Drake?

Twice the forces of Sir Francis Drake and the full weight of the English crown sailed on our capital of San Juan with the intention of turning it into another colonial holsing for the British. Twice we held him at bay. Twice we forced him to retreat, once by cannon fire, and once by attacking until his entire fleet was sieged by an outbreak of dysintery. The English would never manage to find their footing in the Spanish Americas after this. Sir Francis Drake died shitting his guts out two months later off the coast of Panama after a string of defeats, his reputation in tatters.

So yes, go ahead and live out your pirate fantasy to its fullest extent! I'm sure you'll do great!

[timeguardiansarchive]

When Am I going to See You Again?

@avictimofthejazz continued from X

Melody would have to be blind not to notice CJ's goading glance encouraging her to pursue the handsome stranger. He was the first, and only time, she's ever felt a compulsion to go against her every logical instinct to turn and hide.

The ebony-haired young woman had been captivated with him from the very moment he had opened his mouth. Even under the shadowy brim of his hat, his eyes were stunning. She's never seen anything quite like them; not even in all the glittering treasures of the seas. Thunder storms over her heart as she cast a nervous, uncertain look into their ceaseless fathoms.

His use of the word 'Ma'am" causes her to giggle softly. It's deployment is so foreign and strange to the undercover princess, and yet, she can not find it in herself to rebuke it. At least, not when it has departed from such a intriguing voice.

Buoyant giddiness surges through her veins as she is finally gifted the name of her heroic rescuer. "O--Officer Street," Melody parrots, savoring the taste of his name upon bended lip before it is nervously nipped betwixt her teeth. "Uh--- um--what precinct is that?" She remembers to beckon before he could make a departure. She would be a fool to let him get away without imparting that much.

___________________

Street had unwittingly churned Melody's life into chaos. Her heart churned stormily, feverishly, inside of her chest. Lightning anew seared through her veins, awakening every nerve and sending them tingling with anticipation. Anticipation she is not sure she wishes to bear.

Ever since the accidental brush of their hands, Street's presence has left her ruminating, dwelling strangely on the unforeseen future. One that promised the potential addition of him. With fervor-riddled steps, Melody stalked the floor of her and CJ's shared place. She paced for so many hours the carpet was beginning to sprout frayed threads.

"What if he was only being polite?" She murmurs aloud. "I'm --- I'm a--- a total disaster. He could never...." Could he? Her cheeks burn crimson. There's a gamble there she's not sure she wishes to take. It is better to dream of him than get to know him. Right? "Besides, what do I have to offer someone as --- strong, and handsome, and noble as him?" She finally caves to temptation, flopping down beside her blonde friend.

"He said, he'd stop and say hi, didn't he?" CJ presses.

Melody shook her head in anxious affirmation.

"I bet you ten bucks he didn't think you'd actually go through all the trouble of finding him again." Her dearest friend croons. "Go for it. What's the worst that can happen?"

Melody wasn't so sure. The last time she tried to embark on any sort of romantic venture, a lobster ended up nearly taking a few fingers off. What if --- what if he wasn't as kind or gentle as he appeared? A trillion other 'what ifs' began to maddeningly blossom inside of her mind. Still, she finds herself compulsively rising to collect the keys to her car.

__________________

If buildings could be considered alive, thriving with pulses of their own, the Olympic Station is certainly that. Her own tentative trek inside is carried in with the current, a wave of strangers pressing forwards and heading to predestined designations. Lost, she discovers the courage to meander towards the desk.

"I----" She ducks her head of ebony hair quite bashfully upon locking eyes with the front-desk sergeant. A greying man with what appears to be an appalling lack of humor. "I--" She starts again, this time with more conviction and then clearing her throat. "I'm looking for Officer Street. He--- He told me I could find him here."

A sudden panic threatens to overtake her. What if she was asked for the nature of her visit? There wasn't a suitable answer to give on such account. It's not like she could tell the man she loved him or that she hasn't stopped mauling over the possibilities left unexplored by them. Timid sea-glass orbs venture upright, locking with his, as she anticipates his judgement.

[hinahaikyuu]

 @myheroesaretired​

Lev comes from a perfect looking family. He and his sisters are both models and I wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of his family was, is or about to become. So finding someone who is pretty like him, but completely different, you bet he’s gonna fall head over heels, especially with your freckles. 

“Kuroo! We have the sunscreen!” Lev waved the bottle from Nekoma’s canopy on the beach, just to huddle over when Yaku kicked him for taking it out of his hand as he was trying to use it. Kuroo and Inuoka were already in the water, you could hear Lev and Yaku arguing for a moment, the libero sending the puppy boy to the water since they obviously couldn’t hear him. 

To bad he never made it to the water. 

“Hey... that was the last of my sunscreen.” your voice echoed through his skull as he walked past your towels and your canopy. 

“I’m sorry. I thought there was more.” You friend pouted, looking through another bag that clearly wasn’t hers. When you stood next to her and he was able to see your face, he instantly loved your freckles and the curl to your hair. 

“Here. I have some spare sunscreen you can use.” Lev took a step over, handing the bottle to you with a smile. 

“You’re a life saver, I burn so bad I’ll be a lobster in an hour.” he loved your laugh. 

“No problem, we’re over there so just bring the bottle back when your done if there is any left. Feel free to come by and get some more fi you need too. We all have plenty.” You nodded and he continued to walk down to get his friends, taking a few glances at you and your group as he passed by. It took a while, but he actually wasn’t expecting to see you standing in front of him when he was eating his fruit. 

“Here. My friend came back from the store with more. Thank you for the save.” You smiled, watching him take the bottle slowly. 

“Sure thing.” You turned, and he was so loud again everyone could visibly see you leap where you stood. “C-can I get your Instagram or something? We could hang out sometime again maybe?”

He adored that smile, “Sure.”

[boldlyvoid]

36 Questions to Fall in Love

Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day

warnings: strangers to lovers, blind dates, betting, talks of: drug use, drug addiction, abusive marriages, rape, sexual assault, abuse, attempted murder, mass shootings, parental death, love confessions, elopements, opposite of slow burn

word count: 8K

A/N: this is based on a request I received a while back about this article

Derek was a betting man, to say the least. He knew Spencer was from Vegas, he also knew Emily couldn’t say no to a challenge and that Rossi had enough money to burn. Betting at work was the best way to have fun when he worked there, and now he can’t stop.

“I’m not saying con a woman into loving you, I’m saying let us find a girl and let’s see if she can fall in love with you, take a week off from work and just spend time wooing her, and in a week, me or Emily will hit on her, if she turns us down for you, then you’ve won.”

Derek explained it like it was simple, and yet the mere thought of being set up with someone was horrifyingly nerve-wracking. But he got Spencer to agree… unbeknown to him that he had another bet going on the side.

You see earlier that day he was invited to Penelope’s apartment, her younger sister was moving in for a little while and they needed a big strong man to help move the boxes. And like Penelope, Y/N was really chatty and overly friendly really fast. It was like he’s always known Y/N Garcia.

She explained to Derek how hard it was in California to find good men who want someone to love them, she’s tired of guys thinking she comes on too fast, she wants someone who wants to settle and have kids and be a dad. Not a Vain narcissist who only cares about what the city can offer him.

“The last guy I went on a date with literally ran when I mentioned I read a New York Times article about 36 questions to make you fall in love… I just want a person to love? Is that really so hard?”

A lightbulb goes off in Derek’s mind, and Penelope almost reads it.

“Spencer.” They both reply with the same cheeky grin.

“I bet you, you could be as insane as you say you are and he’d still be in love with you by the end of the week.” Derek teases, and the way she smiles shows just how interested she is.

—

Woo her.

The words have rattled around in his brain every second of every moment since Derek said he found a girl for him.

She was free on Saturday, all Spencer had to do was tell Derek where she should meet him and all Penelope had to do was not mention to Spencer that she had a sister, it was up to Y/N when Spencer learned that fact.

She’s already there at the restaurant when he arrives, he’s not sure what he was expecting when Derek said he found the perfect girl but it wasn’t this. He was thinking it was going to be a joke, that either no one would show or Derek was hooking him up with some hot blonde who was way out of his league.

She was beautiful in a nice dress, her makeup was stunning and she looked so content sitting there, waiting for him. Starring her ice water with a straw, she wasn’t paying any attention to the room, she barely knew he was there.

“Hi?” He said softly, not wanting to startle her.

“Hi,” she beamed up at him, that same unsure look on her face. Neither of them was expecting anything from the other, but they were pleasantly surprised.

“Spencer Reid,” he says, actually extending a hand to shake her’s because it’s the chivalrous thing to do.

She reaches out her hand, watching him take it and kiss her knuckle softly, she’s so surprised. “Oh, um, Y/N Garcia,” she whispers the name and his eyes go wide.

“Garcia?” He panics a little, sitting down in the booth and facing her as her face drops at his reaction.

“Did he not tell you I’m Penelope’s sister? I knew Derek was up to something,” she looked like it was all too good to be true, upset almost.

“He didn’t, he probably wanted you to tell me, I mean this all so we can get to know each other,” Spencer shrugs it off, interested in seeing why Derek picked her of all people.

“I guess,” she smiled again, “so what do you do?”

“I work with Penelope, I specialize more in psycho-linguistics and geographical profiling.”

She nods in approval, “I’m a high school English teacher.”

Spencer laughs lightly, “what’s that like?”

“Interesting to say the least, especially in California. Every kid there wants to be on TikTok, no one cares about reading any of the books I ask them too,” she just shakes her head. “I’m worried about the next generation.”

“Me too, it’s almost alarming how many kids are unsubs,” he agrees. She’s so easy to talk to, he’s suddenly not nervous anymore and the waiter is coming to take their order.

He never even opened the menu, “what looks good?” He asks Y/N, nervous and she can tell.

“I think I’m going to have the lobster, let’s go all out?” She shrugged again, both of them feeling more adventurous than normal.

“I’ll have that as well,” Spencer smiled, keeping eye contact with only her as she handed the menus back to him.

They ordered sides and appetizers, stuffed mushrooms and fresh bread, it was amazing. They traded small facts about each other, Spencer noticed a lot of Penelope’s quirks in her, she was very friendly and kind and funny. She loved to tease him and make him laugh, his stomach hurt by the time their lobsters came out.

“I’ve never done this before,” she admits, putting on her bib and holding the claw cracker in one hand.

“Neither have I, but I think it’s fairly simple you just need to apply the correct amount of pressure,” he demonstrates by picking up the crustacean and cracking it at its weakest point before twisting it open.

He’s surprised he did it, so is she as she copies is movements and struggles a bit. “You got it, come on,” he encourages her as she squeezed so hard her hands shake but the shell does eventually crack.

She smiles like she just won the science fair, overly proud as they stare at each other. Enamoured already by just how cute the other was.

“So, what do you do for fun outside being a fed?” She teases between bites.

“I like to spend my time finding new things, I tend to go to the same spots often but I’m always looking for new places. I like the theatre, the old cemetery is nice, I’m excited for the new phantasmagoria to open this fall,” he explains all his interests as he cracks away at his dinner. “I just like to try and appreciate what’s out there, after everything I see.”

“That’s really nice, I’ve always wanted to go to a phantasmagoria actually, science magic is the best kind of magic,” she says it like it’s nothing, almost embarrassed by the interest.

“Me too, I love magic,” Spencer lights up, “I can actually do some magic, hold on.”

He digs his NA chip out of his pocket, showing it to her quickly before making it disappear and reappear behind her ear and she was so smitten, “how the heck?” She asked as she reached for her own ear, shocked at the fact he could do it.

“Do you always keep a coin on you for that?”

He thinks about it for a second, not knowing if he should tell her or not. “No, I keep this on me for support.”

He places it on the table, she picks it up instead and inspects it carefully, “2 years is a really long time, I’m really proud of you.”

He feels like he falls in love with her in that moment, she places the chip back in his hand and smiles, “it’s not easy to admit nor recover from, it’s something you should be really proud of Spencer.”

“Thank you,” he blushes, “um, is there anything else you want to know about me?”

She bites the inside of her lip as she thinks, “actually I was reading an article the other day that said there are a list of personal questions you can ask someone and by the end of all of them you should be in love with the person.”

He thought it was a good opportunity to take a sip of water, upon hearing the word love he realizes it was a mistake. He chokes lightly, coughing as he puts the glass back down and apologizes.

“Love?” He repeats the word.

“I’m going to be real honest here Spencer, I don’t date to get my heartbroken, I date to find my life partner so if you’re not interested in marriage or kids one day tell me now,” she’s very stern about it and he can tell she’s gotten her hopes up and heart broken before.

“I want that too, I just didn’t expect you to be so upfront about it,” he’s honest, because clearly that’s what she wants from him. “What was on the question list?”

“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” She asks, remembering the questions easily.

“Wow,” he takes a moment to think about it, “alive or dead?”

“Sure, why not,” she shrugs.

“Probably biological Eve,” he comes to the decision rather quickly. “I’ve always been fascinated with the fact all humans can be traced back to one single women. I’m sure she was amazing, it must have been so interesting being the first women on earth.”

“That is the coolest answer anyone has ever given me,” she smiles, “I think I’d be boring and have dinner with Julia Roberts.”

“She’s a very talented actress,” he smiles, recognizing the name from Penelope’s movie nights. “Um, I have an eidetic memory, do you have the list I can just read it once and then we can spit it back and forth easily.”

She looks at him with wide eyes and a growing smile, “yeah hold on.” She takes out her cellphone and pulls up the article before handing it to him.

He reads it quickly and then hands it right back, she was amazed, surely it was a joke? “Would I like to be famous?” He repeats the next question to himself.

“No,” he’s very certain. “I’ve had some encounters with psychopaths who think they are my biggest fans, perfect match or my only rival, and it’s not fun. I’m sure being adored is lovely, but I don’t like the attention if it’s not from a good place.”

“So you want praise but you don’t want a stalker?” She dumbs it down slightly with a smile, “I definitely don’t want to be famous because I don’t like other peoples opinions about me.”

“That’s incredibly fair.”

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?” She asks the next one.

“If it’s for work or my mother, yes,” he answers it completely honestly. “I prefer not to make phone calls, so when I have to make them I typically spend the day before panicking.”

She smiles, “well, if you ever need someone to call tech support and pretend to be you, I am really good on the phone.”

“Like Penelope?”

She nods, “we spent a lot of time talking on the phone when she moved to Virginia for your team.”

“That must have been really hard, I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned you yet?”

“I’m not really her sister,” she smiles, “I wish I was. I met her during a really abusive relationship and I didn’t feel close to my parents anymore, so my old name didn’t feel right either. Penelope and her brothers were the closest thing I had to family, so I took their name after my divorce.”

“That’s beautiful,” his smile is so soft, she wonders if he feels the same about Penelope.

“What do you consider a perfect day?” She moves on before she can pry into his personal life further, just to pry into his personal life further— in another direction.

“Nobody dies.”

“Even the bad guys?” She squints as she asks it, wondering if that was an appropriate topic for the first date.

“I’m not a fan of the prison system, and I’m really not a very big fan of suicide by cop, let alone lethal injection,” he explained. “Just because you’re a murderer or a psychopath doesn’t mean you have to die too, there is rehabilitation and a way to keep them sane and alive while keeping people safe. I just hate when people die.”

“Me too,” her smile is sad, “my perfect day would be having my parents back, I’d like to show them my degree and go out for ice cream and give them another hug.”

“We should have our perfect days back to back,” his voice is low, he was nervous to say it. “Cause then once you bring them back, I stop people from dying and they can stay forever.”

He sees her heartbreak as the tears well in her eyes, “that would be nice.”

“Um,” he clears his throat and then takes a sip of water. “When was the last time you sang to yourself, or someone else?”

“I was singing in the car on the way here,” she smiles with a sniffle, “I sing a lot actually. I’m always humming or tapping as well, if my mind is wandering then it has to make some kind of noise.”

“What is your favourite thing to hum?” He can’t stop himself from asking it, “I personally do the muppets, duh duh nanana, manamanah.”

She laughs again, and a tear slips out as her eyes close. She hurries to wipe it away, “I often find myself doing the teletubbies song, you know; ‘Tinky-Winky, Dipsy,’” she sings the words before humming the tune to match.

“That’s a good one too,” Spencer is really enthusiastic suddenly, the way he would be with Penelope. He was really comfortable. “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”

“Mind, because that’s how you keep a good body. If I can keep the strength and willpower to get up in the mornings and go to work and remember why I love being alive, I’ll be young forever,” she answers like it’s rehearsed.

“I was going to say I’d want my mind too, but the way you said it is a lot more elegant,” he teases. “My mom has Alzheimer's, you were honest about wanting kids and you should know that's genetic. I can also pass on schizophrenia and any other mental illness, like depression, bipolar disorder and most definitely anxiety—

“Spencer,” she reaches across the table for his hand, “breathe, that’s not scary to me. My grandma had it too, I’m not optimal gene-wise either.”

He takes a deep breath, “Sorry.”

“It makes you real to react like that, I don’t mind seeing that side of you. Fake strong men and men who compensate are the worst, in my opinion.”

“Mine too,” he agrees. “I am an anxious worrier, I barely sleep, I’m terrified of the dark, I have PTSD nightmares about my short stay in prison, and I cry a lot when I’m alone.”

“It was a mistake clearly? The prison stay, that is.”

“Yeah,” he nods, moving to the next question. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

She laughs through her nose at the switch topic change, “well until I was 19 I thought my husband was going to kill me, then I thought maybe it would be myself, now I’m content dying in my sleep when I'm old.”

“It is ever-changing,” he agrees. “I have died before.”

“What did it feel like?”

She doesn’t ask how, she knows he was sober, she knows he’s been to prison, she knows he’s an agent. It wasn’t a surprise. Penelope even almost died once before, it was an unfortunate part of the job.

“Warm.”

“Like soothing warm, like drinking a hot chocolate, or that uncomfortable warm like being in a hot car?”

“Like a hug.”

Her lips purse, she hums a bit. “Yeah, my answer stays the same.”

“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”

“You like to learn,” she smiles again. “You enjoy the mysteries and the horribleness of the world because it keeps you grounded. You love your mom.”

“We love Penelope, our hearts have similar scars, life has been mean to us for no reason,” he adds 3 more for good measure.

“What are you grateful for in life?” She asks the next question.

“I’ve never said this before,” he prefaces, “but found family. If it wasn’t for my team, no matter who was coming and going over the years, anyone who has had my back. Anyone who loves me in any capacity. That’s what I’m grateful for.”

“We’re not even through the first set of questions and I can see why everyone loves you,” she admits. Moving far too fast, doing exactly what Derek wanted from her.

To scare him and see if he still stays.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer stops the questions, “I can’t continue if I can’t tell you this.”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?”

“Derek and Emily bet me $20 that I couldn’t get someone to fall in love with me, he wanted to set this up and then hit on you in a week and see if you picked me over him, and it feels like a really shitty thing to do to you. It’s making me feel like you’re an object more than a person and I feel really bad about it.”

She just laughs and he has no idea why. “He bet me that I could be as insane as I am with most of my dates and you’d still want to stay with me after a week.”

“You’re not mad?” He worries, by passing her words and the implications of it all.

“No, did you truly mean how you feel?”

“Yes…”

“Then I accept your apology, you’re really kind Spencer. I believe you when you speak, I trust you,” she explains her reasoning and he settles once more. “You’re the most real man I’ve ever met, I think.”

“Thank you,” he smiles again, reaching out for her hand once more, “do you want to finish these questions?”

“Not really,” she smirks, “I think they were wrong about all 35 of them making you fall in love with someone.”

“How so?”

“It only took me 9.”

It’s so absurd they start to laugh, making eye contact, they feel delirious. His hand in hers, she squeezes it lightly and he never wants to let it go.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“Sure, did you drive?” She asks.

“No, I walked over.”

She gets up from the table and takes his hand once more, “well, are we going to mine or yours?”

“Are you living with Penelope?”

“Yours it is then,” she teases, bumping his shoulder. This was going to be fun.

Spencer pays for their meal and meets her out front, he gets in her passenger seat and gives her the directions. “Do you want to finish the questions on the drive?” He asks.

“Hmm, well, 11 is a long one, if you want to start telling me your life story in graphic detail? Or we can jump to 12 and you can tell me what super ability you’d like to wake up with?”

“Have you ever watched star trek?”

She’s not expecting that, it makes her take a double-take, she laughs lightly, “Yeah, why?”

“Deanna Troi can sense peoples emotions, I think that would really help with my job,” he explains it easily. “And in times like this.”

“I can just tell you,” she offers, pulling into his apartment complex, she can tell why he walked.

“You don’t have to yet, let it simmer,” he smiles softly, he’s not ready for her to make a decision like loving him when she really doesn’t know everything yet. “Come inside?”

She nods, getting out and taking his hand again for the walk inside. His house is green, and it makes sense. There are door wooden bookshelves and the distant smell of old books and spilled coffee, it’s dusty and old and very Spencer.

“Can I tell you some of my story?” She asks as she kicks her shoes off.

“Absolutely,” he follows her lead, “do you want anything, wine, water?”

“Wine would be nice,” she smiles, following him to the kitchen, “you know my favourite place to talk to someone is in the kitchen.”

“Why?”

“It's the heart of the house,” she smiles slightly, “that's what my mom used to say. This is where all the love happens.”

He loves her and he knows it already, she makes him happy and calm and if she’s in the heart of his house she might as well know all of his own heart.

“I was born in Vegas,” Spencer admits, pushing his life story past his lips before she can stop him or else he wouldn’t.

“My mom was a professor, my dad is an attorney, I have always been really smart and not so athletic, I enjoy chess and reading and I had big thick glasses as a child. My mom participated in a murder and my dad covered it up and that ruined their marriage but they blamed it on her schizophrenia when he left. And then I was left to raise her when she was supposed to be raising me. I cared for her until I turned 13, I left her during the weeks and my aunt would make sure she was okay and I would travel back and forth from CalTech and Vegas on the weekends.”

She can see the exhaustion on his face at just remembering it.

“I got my licence at 16, and then I took her car and it was easier. When I was 18 I put her in a sanatarium and sold her house and took a road trip with my friend to Virginia to go to the academy. He didn’t like it after a week and asked me to go with him to New Orleans and I didn’t— I met my mentor and joined the BAU instead. I was kidnapped and drugged by a man with DID… I died and then his personality switched and Tobias brought me back. I had an addiction to Dilaudid for a few months after, then I got sober after visiting Ethan in New Orleans.”

“Was he good to you?”

“Wonderful,” he smiles, “he was my shoulder to cry on for a long time and I didn’t realize how much I needed him in my recovery until we got a case and I had a reason to see him. I missed a plane and ignored my friends to just be with him. He’s the reason I got clean, not anything else… he told me that I was too special to hate myself, and he was right.”

“He was,” she smiles. “He sounds lovely.”

“And then, the first time I saw my mom after putting her in the sanatarium was because she told parts of our case to a man who lost his daughter, and he did a lot of messed up stuff… like he shot my co-worker. She was another special person to me—“

“I’m so sorry.”

He smiles, “she lived, don’t worry. I loved Elle, she was amazing but the bureau didn’t see that. She was a broken toy to them, we all become one eventually. I miss her a lot.”

She walks into his space and wraps her arms around him, giving him a hug as he rests against the counter, she makes no attempt to move back. Holding him in the heart of the house, close to her own. He holds her back just as tight.

“Maeve, she was another person I loved who got shot, she died. I see her sometimes when I sleep, she visits me when I’m in the most need. I’ll always love her, but she’s gone. The only other woman who claims to have loved me was a psychopath who is dead now too, she framed me for murder, had me drugged, kidnapped my mother and the list goes on and it’s not pretty. In prison she had a lot of bad things happen to me, I have scars that will never heal and a part of me was lost but I’m okay now.”

They have a moment of silence in the middle of their stories, she absorbs it while preparing her own, rubbing his back as her cheek stays pressed to his chest.

“I was born in California, my parents were high school sweethearts, they made me at prom. Learned that from the scrapbooks,” she laughs against his chest, “they were great and then they died when I was 14, it was a mass shooting at a mall, and I went to a foster home. I married the oldest son in the home after he groomed me for a few years… I met Penelope when I was 20 and she helped me get divorced and back on my feet and her brothers protected me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry you relate to loss.”

“It's the one thing that unites us all, really,” Spencer’s voice is barely a whisper. “When you think about it, we’re all born and we all die, the only difference is how we fill the middle.”

They never get to that bottle of wine he mentioned, she pulls back and asks the next question as she drags him to his bedroom. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“If I get to have kids.”

She drags him into the room and closes the door, “that was going to be my answer.”

“Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?” He asks as she starts to take her clothes off.

“Sleep beside the love of my life.”

“I’ve never woken up beside the love of my life,” he replies with a soft smile and follows suit, getting undressed down to their underwear before climbing in bed.

“Greatest accomplishment?” She asks as they settle in, laying her cheek on his chest once more.

He takes a moment to think of everything he’s done that has been good, and one really stands out. “there was a case a few years back, we found a bunch of kids who went missing and returned them to their families and gave answers to the families of children who didn’t make it. Days like that feel like a reward.”

“Getting divorced,” she pushes the words out quickly.

“Most valued friendship?” He asks, knowing she doesn’t need to explain herself.

“Penelope.”

“Derek.”

“Most treasured memory?”

“When JJ placed her son in my arms and told me I was his godfather,” his voice is hushed and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to cry. “It's the closest I’ve gotten to being a father so far.”

“I got an end of the year present when I was first starting out, this girl told me that I was the reason she enjoyed reading again and it was the reason I started teaching, I’ll never forget her. Tammy Brownlee, she graduated in 2009 and we’ve been Facebook friends ever since.”

“Most terrible memory?”

“My parents dying.”

“You’d think mine would be dying right?” He asked, she nodded against his chest, “it was actually being held down by 3 men, getting a sock shoved in my mouth while they beat me.”

She kissed his chest softly, “I’m sorry, I know that feeling. Mind you, he was only 1 man, it’s not a good feeling.”

“If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?”

“If it’s definite; not like a chance or a cancer statistic, if it’s like this is the day you die no ifs and's or butts, then I’d just continue as normal and have 1 really awesome day right before,” she smiles against him. “Make the most of it all.”

“If I was dying a year today, I’d ask you to marry me.”

“Already?” She laughs, thinking he’s kidding.

“You want a nice husband and a kid? I will be good for you as long as I know you, and I’ll have as many kids as you want me to help you make.”

She’s silent as she thinks about it. “What does friendship mean to you?”

“Someone who is there for you even when they don’t want to be, even when it’s hard,” Spencer whispers, thinking about his friends.

“It means hacking the government and voiding a marriage and changing someone's name so they can escape,” Y/N whispers. “don’t tell the feds she did that too.”

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?”

“I crave it and hardly receive it, but I give it out like it’s a sample at costco,” she snickers at the example she gave. “It’s something that people have always admired about me and yet it’s also the thing that scares people away. When I love, I love hard and it’s full and annoying and you will feel suffocated sometimes, but just tell me when and I’ll back off.”

“I don’t know how to ask for what I need,” Spencer whispers. “But I need someone to love me like that.”

“The next one is to alternate 5 good things about each other,” she rests her chin on her hand as she looks up at his face in the darkness, “soft.”

He pauses for a moment, bypassing the easiest one and saying pretty, instead, he says; “you’re honest.”

“You’re very caring,” she replies.

“You see beauty in the world still.”

She smiles at that one, “you make the world beautiful.”

“You are beautiful.”

“And you’re handsome, that’s my 4th,” she keeps track in her head.

“You’re true, to your heart, your promises, everything.”

“And you’re real, you see the world for what it is and you don’t try to change it for the better. You want to make it manageable,” her explanation is the longest one yet. “Was your childhood happy, and do you feel close with your family still?”

“I write to my mom every single day and I drop the notes off weekly, and no,” he doesn’t want to cry, but he feels like he might again. “It was liveable, I made it.”

“Mine was happy until I was 14, then I was alone, I have 1 living aunt and she is strange but I get a card from her every Christmas,” Y/N adds. “I’d like to think your lack of love and my need to fill the world with what I miss from my parents will make a really good family dynamic.”

“Me too.”

“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” She asks, “I think I know already, but it’s the next one.”

“She hit me a few years ago because I made her take some medicine, she hit me once when I was a kid too…” he whispers them so that they stay a secret, if they can’t be heard else where then they don’t exist in his mind. “She was a wonderful mother but the worst memories stick out the most now. She’s forgetting everything and all I can remember is how hard it’s been on me, like a bad son.”

“My mom was my best friend, and I still talk to her every day, I bring her and my dad around with me in my necklace,” she pulls the chain on her neck and shows him the little jar. “Mom, Dad, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is my mom and dad.”

He holds it in his hand and tips it gently, “nice to meet you.”

“The next one is weird,” she changed the topic again.

“Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling…" Spencer says it verbatim. “We are both feeling understood.”

“We are both hopeful.”

“We are both falling in love,” Spencer ends the feelings with the most prominent one.

“We are,” she agrees with another smile.

“Finish this,” he insists on moving forward, “I wish I had someone I could share…”

“The rest of my life with,” she whispers this time. “If we become besties, what’s something I should know?”

“I think I’ve told you all the important stuff so far,” Spencer thinks hard, pausing for a moment. “My butt is ticklish?”

It makes her giggle, “that is a good one. My sides and the bottom of my feet are ticklish too.”

“Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met,” Spencer reads the question back from memory, “don’t be afraid to be too honest.”

“I like that you know how I feel but I hate that you’ve been hurt. I like how you listen to me, and I really like how comfortable you make me feel. I’m almost naked in your bed right now and I know you’d never, ever hurt me, and I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”

“I like that you are indulging me in the dream of becoming a husband and a dad one day… most people say it’ll happen but they never picture it. No one has ever said yeah id have your kids. I like that you know what you want and you’re actively looking for it.”

She moves up so she can hold his face in her hands, “only 7 more. Is it working?”

He nods, “my most embarrassing moment is the time I had a wet dream on the work jet.”

She laughs and then covers her mouth in panic, “I’m sorry that’s not funny.”

“It is, it’s fine,” he smiles. “I was dreaming about kissing this actress we helped, she actually did kiss me in the pool, so I guess it was bound to happen.”

She leans in and presses her lips against his, holding his cheeks in her hands his wrap around her waist as he holds her there. She peppers smaller kisses to his lips before pulling back, “we both cried in front of each other already today, so next question.”

“Tell me what you like about me already?”

Her hands trail his chest and down towards his boxers, he’s hard again from just kissing and she smirks, “this is promising.”

His hand on her back unclips her bra, “I love boobs, not even going to lie. They are my weakness.”

She pushes the straps down and tosses her bra aside, pressing her naked chest against his, she moves on. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”

“Being called insane, saying I'm seeing things, or acting crazy, those are things I don’t like to be told because they make my anxiety worse.”

“Noted,” she smiles. “I talk to myself a lot so get ready for that.”

“Okay,” he smiles, she’s way too easy to be real.

“I don’t want to mention my last husband from here on out, I think if I get married again I will never tell anyone I have a first husband,” she’s firm in her words.

“Technically, Y/N Garcia has never had a husband,” he reminds her.

Her face lights up at the realization, “you’re right.”

“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?” Spencer asks.

“I regret not screaming at my ex before I disappeared but I wanted to live.”

He hums, understanding how it feels. “There isn’t anyone in specific I’ve wanted to tell this to, but I wanted to kill people when I was in prison. It made me really angry being in there and I let myself dream about killing people who hurt me and then I almost did kill someone.”

“Remember what you said about bad guys?” She whispers a helpful tip, “even the worst people deserve to have a chance at life. And you’re not hardly as bad as the worst people you’ve met.”

“You’re right,” he agrees. “Thank you.”

“This place burns down, what’s one thing you’d run back inside for? Outside of people and animals…” she asks the 3rd last question.

“The book Maeve gave me.”

“The girlfriend who died?” She confirms, and he nods. “If my place with Penelope burned down, I just want my necklace and I don’t take it off that often.”

“The next question is interesting,” Spencer thinks about it, “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing, and why?”

“I’m glad I wasn’t at the mall with my parents, if I saw them get shot it would hurt more,” she whispers. “I’m sorry you had to see Maeve die like that.”

“In a way, I’m glad I saw Maeve get shot, otherwise I wouldn’t have believed it. She never felt real to me and then she was dead…”

She just hums, “Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it,” she whispers the last question.

“Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen,” Spencer adds in the second half.

“I need to find a place to stay now that I’m here, I don’t want to keep living with Penelope. As much as I love her, I want my own place,” Y/N admits.

“I think I’m in love with this girl that I just met and I don’t know if it’s too soon to ask her to look for a house with me?” Spencer pretends to sigh, “she’s super cool and I think we’d make some nice kids. I would love some advice.”

“Has she told you she loves you yet?” She teases.

Spencer shakes his head. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, too, Spencer,” she replies, leaning in one more time to kiss him.

It’s deeper this time, she breathes him in and rests her forehead against his as she breathes between them.

“How did that work?” She whispers, truly amazed at how easy it was.

He shrugs, “it’s a good questionnaire.”

“You were really honest, your heart is really pure and I would like to get to know you more, but I feel like I know everything?” She shakes her head while she talks, overthinking all the things she has learned, “I don’t even know what could be left?”

“My birthday is October 28th?” He whispers, “we have a lot to discover yet.”

—

When she doesn’t come home in the morning, Penelope knows she’s at Reid’s house. She just doesn’t expect to walk in and find them naked in Reid’s bed, out cold and cuddled together with their clothes all over the room.

It looks like something happened. If only she knew the truth.

“Oh my god?” Penelope’s voice wakes them up and Spencer scrambles to make sure they are covered by his blankets.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N shouts as she wakes up.

“I came to see if you were okay. I expected one of you to be on the couch, I didn’t think it went this good?”

“We just slept in the same bed, I promise,” Spencer turned bright red as he panicked, “we just got to know each other and talked all night, in what we normally sleep in.”

“Uh-huh,” Penelope smirks, “so I take it the 36 questions worked?”

“Perhaps,” Y/N smirks back at her sister.

“Do you use it on many people?”

“No one has made it past the first question,” she smiles at him instead, kissing his cheek as Penelope watches.

“That’s my queue to go, um… yeah, wow, I didn’t see this happening so fast,” Penelope is shocked but in the best way.

She leaves just as fast as she arrived and Y/N settles back into Spencer the second she closes the bedroom door. “You know, if she’s not going to believe us we might as well do it? If you accidentally get me pregnant then we can move fast and no one will question it.”

He laughs, “accidentally, is the key word there.”

“My parents made me at prom after crushing on each other for 2 years… I think knowing each other for 2 days isn’t the weirdest way to start a family?”

“Honestly,” Spencer lets out a sigh and her happy mood drops to a more serious one. “I was a little worried that we’d wake up this morning and you’d change your mind.”

“Why?”

“In the heat of the moment, learning everything about each other and saying I love you was really exhilarating, but I have a hard time believing it,” he admits, “not many people mean it, or stay around after they tell me they love me.”

She cuddles back into the crook of his neck and holds him as tightly as possible, wrapping a leg around him for optimal coverage, “I am staying right here, because I love you, Spencer.”

“Okay,” he whispers. Sounding like he still doesn’t believe it.

“I love you because you’re honest, you want what I want and you’re truly kind. You’re friends with my sister, you’re smart, you would make a great dad, you won't hurt me, you are really nice to cuddle with, and I know you mean it when you say you love me because it’s not a word you use lightly.”

“Are you my girlfriend now?” He wonders aloud, “cause if you really want to have a kid, I have my mom's old wedding ring in my closet, and I would rather be married to you before we do that?”

“Okay,” she whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she hides her face in his neck, “the courthouse is literally just down the road?”

“We can get breakfast together after?” Spencer adds, rubbing her back as they plan, he wasn’t scared anymore.

“Penelope will kill me if she’s not there, can we have her as our witness?” Y/N finally sits up to look at him, pulling away to sit on the bed, still shirtless.

His smile while he tries to keep eye contact with her is so funny, she giggles a little as she hides her nipples behind her palms and cups her boobs.

“I’m pretty sure she’s still in my living room,” Spencer giggles, “Penelope!?”

She comes back in then, “yes?”

“We’re going to the courthouse to get married, wanna come?” Y/N asks with an embarrassed smile.

“Yes!” She cheers, “I’ll go get you a dress!”

And then she’s off again, this time actually leaving Spencer’s apartment. “What if we don’t tell Derek, and let him hit on me next week anyway?

“Then you can say ‘sorry I have a husband,’ and he’ll body slam me to the floor,” Spencer laughs nervously, “the whole team is going to be so pissed they missed my wedding…”

She frowns, “send out a mass text, tell them to meet us at the court house, it’s their day off right?”

“You’re right,” he smiles.

This was going to be interesting.

—

Walking out of the courthouse, hand in hand, she’s in a white dress, he’s in a suit he’d probably wear to work, Penelope is crying and the whole team is waiting outside for them.

At the bottom of the courthouse steps, they all clap and cheer, throwing rice at them like an old movie, Spencer’s smiling so hard his cheeks are burning. Y/N introduces herself to everyone, hugged over and over by everyone she should have met 15 years ago.

Derek is tapping his foot, waiting for Spencer to come and hug him, “what the fuck?” He asks as Spencer steps into his space, wrapping his arms around him and shaking his back and forth.

“Nice try, I’ll give you $20 as a thank you,” Spencer teases as he pulls away. “She is perfect.”

JJ and Will are busy talking to Y/N when he turns around, Mike and Henry not far behind them. Spencer walks over and wraps Henry up in his arms, the kid was growing way too fast, Spencer loved him so much it hurt sometimes.

“Y/N, this is my godson,” Spencer introduces them, “Henry, this is Y/N.”

She gives him a big hug too, “do you have any cousins, Henry?”

“No, but I was 8 when Michael was born,” he smiles, “and I’m getting old enough to be a good babysitter?”

Spencer laughed, messing up Henry’s hair quickly with a smile, “I’m sure by the time you’re a cousin you’ll be great.”

They take a group photo outside, Spencer and Y/N in the middle, everyone was smiling. It was the first time all of them had been in a photo together, the entirety of Spencer’s found family. Now they were Y/N’s too.

She hyphenated her last name, Y/N Garcia-Reid, and their kids would share the same one. He was not only about became a father thanks to Y/N, but Penelope would also become an Aunt once more. It was like a gift that kept on giving, seeing Spencer and Y/N create a little family of their own.

—

She cried her eyes out when she met Diana. She wasn’t expecting to be so emotional, but then Diana was lucid and very welcoming and sweet.

“It’s going to be a pleasure having you as my daughter,” Diana smiles, thinking it was just a nice thing to say.

Y/N cries and holds her so tight Diana almost can’t breathe but she lets her hold her as long as she needs to, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome?”

“I haven’t had someone to call mom since I was 14,” Y/N whispers, “if that’s okay?”

Diana hugs her just a little too tight in response, “you can call me mom whenever you want.”

“Just until you become a grandma,” she whispers again as she pulls back and Diana’s attention snaps to Spencer.

“Are you trying?”

He nods, “we want kids, we’re not getting any younger.”

Diana wraps him up in a hug and he almost falls off his chair at the sheer force of it, she was so happy for him. She knew this was all he’s ever wanted; because he would be good at it, he had all this love in his heart, and he wanted to show his father how easy it is to stay.

“You’re going to be a great dad, Spencer,” she holds his cheeks as she pulls away, “I’m proud of you.”

He cried. It’s all he’s wanted from her, and now he has everything right here in this room.

—

When they find out they’re pregnant after the first try, it’s really funny to them. It was all working so well, it was a little too much for them at first. They were looking for a house, she was looking for a permanent teaching job but Spencer convinced her to wait until after the baby is born to go back.

They name her Morgan Garcia-Reid as a thank you for Derek’s little bet, and before she’s even 6 months old they’re pregnant again. By the time they have 4 kids under 5 they take a break and just enjoy their little family.

To think Derek gave them 7 days to fall in love… and then they lived happily ever after.

taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: A Festive Day in the Life of Dan and Phil!

Date video was published: 12/20/2014 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 254

The 2014 DITL video! The last one had been back in August 2013. This is my absolute favorite DITL and probably one of my top five DNP joint videos of all time. Get ready for me to have way too much to say about it.

0:00 - sleepy morning + quiff Phil! We’ll see a surprising amount of that in this video.

0:05 - “almost a week till Christmas,” so they must have filmed this just a few days before it was posted

0:25 - no waking up Dan in “his” bedroom like in the first two DITL. Hmmm...this scene doesn’t seem staged at all...especially since Phil’s laptop is already open on the arm of the sofa. Unless he just left it like that overnight.

0:37 - love that the other advent calendar on the mantle in the one they made. 😂 There are 18 of the doors opened on it, so they’re probably filming this on the the 18th or 19th of December.

0:47 - they both jump into doing the theme music as soon as Phil says “titan”

0:57 - that is pretty late for them to be putting up the decorations! Phil looks sad about it too.

1:01 - sad tinsel. I think Phil had the silver piece in the background in his last video. And the little WALLE in the background here, from all the way back in PINOF. 🥺

1:17 - this domestic insight, just 😭😭😭

1:26 - full circle back to the first DITL video. I wonder if they watched the previous DITLs before filming this one.

1:41 - so many mugs.

1:48 - Dan did not want that one because it was very hard to actually drink out of as he discovered in DITL London. I really bet they did watch the previous ones shortly before this...so many references back!

1:55 - awww, happy warm Phil

2:13 - such a dramatic sigh but he goes to get it anyway!

2:25 - well that is a terrifying way to burn a tealight...put it on a dish!

2:33 - I love that there is no explanation for this in the video. Phil is superstitious about new shoes on the table, which they had both tweeted about before.

2:40 - Dan fashion show and an encouraging Phil

2:47 - immediate smile when Dan notices Phil there

2:56 - why does Phil looks SO GOOD in this clip. also, as usual a weird/slightly horrifying poem from his brain.

3:02 - love that they both decided to wear holiday jumpers. They also wore these same ones for their December radio show. Also the Dan lean-in 🥺

3:12 - PJ tweeted about this DNP visit!

3:27 - this whole leaving scene is possibly the most domestic part of any video - the candle argument, the coat adjustment, the stop in the bathroom to check their hair, Phil checking to make sure Dan has keys, the spider checking and joking... I mean.

4:13 - more throwback conversation to DITL London

4:35 - so glad he chose not to lick his hand. Even more horrifying in 2021.

4:40 - Dan talked about this and falling up the escalator in What not to do on Public Transport

5:00 - “bit corporate isn’t it?” but caves immediately because Phil wants to. 

5:10 -  Love that Phil orders while Dan finds a table. Love that Phil makes Dan draw something happy not just a sad face. Love Dan’s huge smile after that.

5:33 - Dan really can’t say much he was reading his phone in the clip right before this!

5:58 - Dan’s talking about this weird incident that Phil posted a clip of on LessAmazingPhil

6:18 - they always go to at least one nerdy shop in the first DITLs!

6:36 - the things they choose to zoom in on in this shop...Dan with Spiderman’s crotch a few seconds before this and now Phil on the shirtless guy book cover. subtle, lol.

7:29 - I had actually heard of this board game prior to this video because Wil Wheaton did a TableTop episode. I remember being so surprised to see DNP wanting it!

7:39 - Phil and his weird people encounters. 😂 And Dan just mocking him for it.

7:59 - they did, in fact, go to see Matilda the next summer.

8:10 - oh my god this clock scene. Of course Phil wants to make a game of it. And then Dan with the seemingly slight fudging of what he was pointing at. And this look and then both of them giggling. 👀

8:32 - that start of Dan’s running! This is around the time or shortly after he had started to see a therapist (according to the timeline he gave in Daniel and Depression), so thinking he probably wanted to start for his mental health.

9:11 - Dan talks about the “guy wearing the white sheet in Manchester” in What not to do In Town. Their reminiscing faces are too much.

9:19 - Phil is so excited about this. He had tweeted a couple times in the past about Moomins (1, 2)

9:37 - the excitement about the treats and the festive drinks and decorations and Phil’s teasing 😭

10:04 - they film fairly often in the back of cars and I just feel like must be so awkward, but it doesn’t seem to bother them. And Phil’s hair is quiffed again!

10:28 - and the stairs song! Which they are too prepared for so it must be a regular thing they say/sing. This video has SO MANY moments that I love.

10:51 - Phil just sitting while Dan hauls the tree box out. Maybe Dan lost rock-paper-scissors.

10:59 - reminiscing about THE TREE now, which is the last time they decorated on camera

11:09 - why is this a common theme in DITLs!? lol. Love that they’ve lit the candle again after getting home.

11:22 - “stop doing that” as he can’t control his giggles. sure.

12:03 - okay, Phil had to go get the other decorations! The “Christmas faces” are slightly horrifying

12:22 - that is the most horrifying. also, Dan and Phil themed toys/decor even in the bathroom.

13:02 - Dan’s little messed up piece of hair in the back is so cute. Also love that they have the garlands up and everything at this point too.

13:19 - even more quiff-Phil!

13:31 - their fridge contents are not great

14:04 - unexpected filming but a huge grin anyway from Phil. Also, how do they make just answering the door so awkward, lol. Also: what is that picture in the background in the bathroom(?)

14:32 - they’re so excited about this set up and dinner plan

14:43 - and now glasses Phil! Also, arguing about wrapping neatness. I love it. Although when we see Phil’s wrapping in a minute, I think I might agree with Dan...

15:03 - PJ will end up with one of these face banks

15:10 - Phil came up with some decent gifts for Kath this time, although he didn’t think she had good ideas.

15:18 - I find it so cute that Dan wants to keep the cookbook

15:30 - Dan looks almost embarrassed to share this. He’s also got something “12 Days of Christmas” themed in that blue box on the chair. Although apparently a lot of his family just wanted money.

15:37 - I have no words for Dan filming this closeup and then them choosing to keep it in the video.

16:16 - Phil’s trying to be all serious with his wrapping tutorial and then the tape just immediately falls. 😂

16:40 - “it’s endearing” Dan does look pretty endeared, lol. Dan’s concerned because the face banks are actually gifts from both of them, at least according to PJ

17:04 - wow, Vine mention

17:25 - Dan’s just expecting Phil to come up with a great pun on the spot. Also, the lobster thing is an old reference.

17:39 - I think I mentioned this in the last DITL post, but I like that we do see even in a short video that they spend some time alone. That’s just so normal, especially for introverts even when you’re that comfortable with someone.

17:45 - Phil will keep reading that book over the holidays

17:48 - we did see the inside of the chest. So what is Dan implying here, lol.

17:52 - well then. Dan’s giggly face though.

18:08 - soft piano Dan 😭

18:25 - Ariana Grande had sent them both cat ears after they met her for the radio show

18:37 - a glimpse at the early gaming channel set-up.

18:46 - we don’t actually see that footage in the gaming video

18:51 - it must be pretty late at night by this point considering it was dark when they came home 

19:15 - Phil’s first instinct is to throw it of course

19:18 - this face and the sweater paws. I can’t. 😭

19:25 - and of course a joint ending. 

19:40 - Dan is so sleepy and happy seeming here

20:13 - awwww 🥺 The last video of 2014!

One difference from the first two DITL is they don’t even pretend that they’re going to see other friends/invite someone over. Just the two of them hanging out and they seem quite happy with that. This is probably the most “domestic” of the DITL videos. I love it so much.

Phil went to his parents’ on the 23rd to celebrate Christmas. He had Swedish food, was very excited as usual, got a stocking with a toothbrush and animal socks, and watched Guardians of the Galaxy. Dan went to his family’s on the evening of the 24th after a candle incident (lol, though I love that he was burning the candles even without Phil there. He started the tradition of yearly Christmas pictures of Colin. And also posted this.

On to the 2015 videos, and the start of the TABINOF/TATINOF era!

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Beach Bods {Charlie Weasley x Plus Size Reader}

Plot: On a day trip to the beach with the Weasleys, Charlie is the one who helps you get over your body insecurities.

Character: Charlie Weasley x Plus Size Reader

Part of my Plus Size Reader x Character Series!

Summers with the Weasleys was always fun. Each day, you found something new to do whether that be weeding the garden and fighting the Gnomes with the twins or going a walk up the hills with Bill or going shopping with Ginny or even just making dinner with Molly. Each day a new adventure was to be had. 

Today’s adventure was going to the beach with the lot of them. It had been Fred and George who’d offered the idea up to you all. Truth be told, they were working on some new products for the shop that they needed testing so decided to invite the family along.

You were getting ready, you loved the beach honestly, you loved the warmth and the feeling of sand on your skin but you were nervous. It was an unusually hot day in England so you couldn’t have just kept your clothes on, at some point you’d need to take a dip in the sea in your swimming costume. You were nervous about people seeing your body. Being plus size, having a stomach and thick thighs with stretch marks littering your body, you were always a little nervous to reveal more of yourself to the world. Sure, you were a lot more confident than what you used to be but it still took a lot of courage to wear more revealing clothing in public. Although you didn’t think any of the Weasleys would be rude or say anything rude about your body - Ginny would hex them in a second if any of them did anyway - you were still a little nervous.

You’d brought one costume, a high waisted bikini that you’d not had the courage to wear yet. You pulled in on and took a deep breath before opening your eyes to look at yourself in the mirror. Straightening your posture quickly, you smoothed the fabric on your stomach. You smiled. The bikini flattered your body, highlighting your best bits and smoothing over some of the parts you wanted smoothed. You could see your stomach, your rolls, your stretchmarks, your wobbly bits but you’d grown used to seeing them all the time and over the years, you’d grown to quite like them.

“(y/n)!” Ginny called, “You ready?”

“Two minutes!” You yelled back as you quickly shimmied your denim shorts on and pulled a thin vest top on over your bikini top. You grabbed your bag that had your beach towel, some water and a book in it before heading downstairs.

The sun beat down on you as you lay on your towel on the warm sand. A cool breeze ruffled your hair and tickled your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. From a few feet away, Mrs Weasley was making a fuss over making sure everyone had suncream on and was applying it with the tip of her wand making sure everyone got an even coat.

Fred and George laughed, “That’s why we brought you here today! We made some suncream shots that you drink and it protects for up to twenty four hours!” George grinned.

Ron glanced at them, “You sure it works?”

“Seventy five percent sure, yep,” Fred said with a smile.

“I’ll pass.” A chorus of ‘no thanks’ rang out as Fred and George shrugged and took the suncream shot, pulling a face as they swallowed. Fred was trying 

“(y/n)?” George asked, waving a vial of the cream coloured liquid in front of you, “What do you say?”

“No way in hell.”

“Suit yourself,” they said in unison.

You laughed and returned your attention to the book but it was only a few seconds later when someone sat down beside you, “I bet that’s totally going to go wrong,” it was Charlie Weasley.

You snorted a laugh, “Course it’ll go wrong, don’t need a wager for that one. They’ll end up with bloody sunstroke.”

Charlie laughed from beside you before you settled into a calm silence. Over the years of knowing the Weasleys’, you’d gotten to be close with all of them - well, aside from Percy he wasn’t around much these days - and you’d especially grown close to Charlie. The second eldest Weasley son was, arguably, the most attractive man you’d ever met. He’d tied his dark red hair into a bun at the nape of his neck and by Merlin, that man was gorgeous with freckles and scars littering his body, broad shoulders and thick muscled arms and a toned chest...

“You not roasting?” Charlie asked, breaking you out of your thoughts of him.

“Uh,” you looked over to the sea where Harry and Ginny were splashing each other, “I’m absolutely boiling.”

“Take your kit off and let’s go for a paddle in the sea.” Charlie stood and pulled his t-shirt off exposing his torso. He was like a Greek God. He stretched out his hand and pulled you up.

You faltered as you brushed sand off of yourself, “I... I think I’ll stay in them just now.”

Charlie frowned, “But you’re roasting.”

You nodded, cheeks going warm as you tried to not show your lack of confidence, “I just... I’m wearing a new bikini and...”

“Well let’s show it off to everyone then!” Charlie grinned, “There’s no need to be nervous or self conscious; especially not around us.”

“I know, I know... It’s just... I never show much skin in public and... it’s silly but I just worry, y’know?”

Charlie nodded, “I get it. Sometimes I get worried about letting people see my torso. You can see it, you see all the scars on me; I worry that people might look at me funny but you know... no one even bats an eyelid. You never have, you look at me with these awe-filled eyes as you ask about each scar.” Your cheeks were burning now and you tried to look everywhere but at Charlie, “I’ve never told you this, and I probably should’ve told you before now, but you’re beautiful. Do you not recognise that every time I look at you, my eyes are filled with awe also?”

Slowly, your eyes rose to meet his. He gave you a reassuring smile, “You have nothing to fear when you’re with me. I have always thought you’re beautiful and I always will.”

You couldn’t help but smile at him, “Okay,” you said quietly as you kicked off your shoes and shimmied out of your shorts and tugged your vest top off, “How do I look?” He looked at you with a smile and it was then you recognised the awe in his eyes.

“Incredible.�� He grinned, “It suits you perfectly... Now let’s go cool down.”

You began to walk together to the sea when you nudged him, “Thank you.”

He stared ahead but you saw his smile, “You’re welcome, love. You ever need reminding of how beautiful you are, come to me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

George rushed past you and a second later, Fred did too, “Bloody hell!” You gasped seeing the pair of them running to shelter. They were bright lobster red from head to toe.

“Can see that potion needs a bit of work boys!” Charlie called after his brothers laughing as Mrs Weasley was shouting at the pair for being idiots and trying to lather more cream on them.

“I’ll race you!” You yelled already running towards the sea.

“That’s not fair!” Charlie yelled from behind you as he began to chase you.

“Life’s not fair, Weasley!” You were just about to make it into the sea but a second later, two strong arms were wrapping around your waist pulling you into the air, “Charlie!” You squealed, legs kicking. Merlin, he was strong. He ran with you in his arms into the sea and got thigh deep before stopping, “Don’t you dare!” You knew what he was going to do, “Don’t you-”

SPLASH! The water was cold, freezing every inch of you as soon as you were submerged. You resurfaced quickly, leaping upwards to try and get more sunlight again. Charlie was grinning widely but he was too cocky and never expected you to tackle him and knock him into the water either.

He jumped out, shaking himself off, “Bloody hell... This means war, (y/n).”

“Bring it on, Weasley.”

[mindofharry]

Try a little tenderness is on, you’re in a a flowy summer dress and harry is in one of his flowery shirts and plain shorts. you both showered earlier together and then settled down to watch 10 things i hate about you. One of your favourites and one that harry likes too. After that you both decided carbonara was the meal you would make on the first night of your honeymoon.

“you smell good” you sighed snuggling your head into his chest as he moved you both around. “thanks, baby. used your shampoo by the way” he replied making you giggle. “i noticed” you say as he twirled you around. Dreams by fleetwood mac came on making the tempo of your dances change. Your dress twirled around as harry danced around the kitchen with you.

You never wanted this moment to end.

or you and harry have your honeymoon in italy.

The drive to the cottage made you feel car sick. You had begged harry to rent a car and let you drive, but he insisted on driving his new wife to the cottage. You love to drive. One reason why is because you never feel sick in the drivers seat, and because driving is just so relaxing to you.

“you’re not driving” Harry said taking the keys off of you. You pouted and stomped your foot like a two year old. Harry raised his eyebrow and pulled you into a hug. You got married two days ago, staying at a hotel in london before heading off on your romantic voyage. Harry (and you, but mostly harry) has been looking foward to visiting italy again. You’ll even say he was more excited to speak italian than say his vows. You can admit, italy has so much history. you both met here, you staying here for work and harry obviously here for a shoot or something. You bet at a local bar and hit it off straight away.

Harry and you spent the chunk of his trip together. At the beach, his hotel, your apartment, the bar. You thought it would just be a summer fling - but here you are, married and back in italy. Nothing beats it to be honest, you wouldn’t change a thing.

So here you are, in his car that harry loves, trying to keep your lunch in your stomach. Why didn’t you buy a bottle of water? And why didn’t you put your foot down with driving? Your stubborn usually, something harry loves about you. But once harry brings out those green puppy dog eyes and famous pout, there’s no way you can cause a fight over it, and that asswhole knows you can’t say no to the pout and puppy dog eyes.

“you ok baby?” the bastard asked with a smirk. you groaned and opened your window ignoring his question, harry placed his hand on your thigh his cold rings bringing some comfort to you. “we’ll be at the cottage in 5. you can hold onto until then, right”

He asked and you nodded placing a hand on your forehead. “i’m fine, just wished i ignored that pout” you mumbled making harry chuckle. “no one can resist it, honey” he said making you nod. It’s true, you’re not the only one. His mum, for one. The only that gave him those fucking eyes, can’t resist them. When he was a child the minute he didn’t get something - bam, puppy dog eyes and he’d get it straight away. The same with poor jeff. He just can’t say no.

“you definitely take advantage of us” you say, silently thanking god as you see the cottage just up the road. Harry scoffed putting on the indicator to park the car. “i do not take advantage of people. i just get what i want very quickly” he said making you laugh.

“sure, baby. if that’s what you want to call it”

Unpacking it the most relaxing thing for you and harry to do with each other. You offer to help him when he gets home from tour and trips etc, it’s relaxing and nice to just talk.

“How much did you bring?” Harry asked opening up your suitcase. “the right fucking amount. we’re here for two weeks, har. Not two days” you replied making your husband roll his eyes and open up the drawers.

Your husband.

you’ll never get used to that. Harry styles is your husband. you get to come home to him, have his babies, go to his concerts, paint his nails. You also get to watch endless amount of rom coms without any complaints so that’s definitely a plus.

“Don’t complain, just put away my clothes” you say only getting a kiss on your shoulder in response.

“Hey, why don’t we go out to the pool for a bit. unpack later? want to see my wife in a bikini” Harry said leaning back on the bed, you grinned and picked up one of your favourite pink bikinis.

“you’re desperate to see my tits, aren’t you?” you asked only getting a boyish grin from your husband. “ok fine. i’ll meet you outside then” you say grabbing your bikini and making your way to the bathroom. “hey! i wanted to see those beautiful boobs of yours!” harry yelled as you locked the bathroom door. “too late”

You changed in record time, tying up your hair and putting on some lotion and your sun glasses. Luckily you had waxed and shaved everywhere before coming on the trip. Usually you don’t mind having a little hair, but this time it was a little different. Harry always said he doesn’t care, but you’ve done it now so he better like it. Your bikini was a little small, but that was kind of the point. The last time you wore it was last year in spain - harry and his little (boner) friend liked it very much too.

You stepped out of the bathroom and heard harry jump into the pool outside. Walking outside you grab the attention of harry and unbeknownst to you, the two 14 year old boys next door. All men were gobsmacked and harry couldn’t believe you were all his.

“i’m so glad i put a ring on you” he said getting out of the pool and placing his arms around you, getting you all wet (in more than one way). “hmmm. is it just for my body?” you teased, harry shook his head kissing your neck. “i love you for how smart you are. God, you’re like a dictionary. And how kind and selfless you are, so nice to everyone. And of course your perky little tits”

You rolled your eyes “My perky little tits love you too” you replied moving around him and bending down. Harry god a good look at your ass, hello boner.

You guys stayed in the pool for awhile. Sometimes swimming together other times alone. You even had a little swimming contest that you won - harry said he let you win. But you know when he’s lying and you’re obviously a much better swimmer than him. The pool is refreshing and cool in the scorching heat and you’re sure harry’s going to burn because he hasn’t reapplied any lotion whatsoever.

After getting out of the pool you both lay out on two chair, waters and cokes in between you both. “Harry, let me put lotion on you. you’re as red as a lobster” you plead making him sigh. “fine but only because i want to” he pouted sitting up.

You rubbed the lotion all of his skin, enjoying the little winces he lets out. serves him right for not listening to his wife. You always warn him, but he never listens. One day you’re just going to stop and he’ll have to put his own lotion on.

“i love you”

“i love you too, now massage me”

It was getting dark out once you decided to cook dinner, you were going for dinner tomorrow instead too tired to go out right now. Anyways you love cooking with harry, it’s nice. Have some stevie nicks and otis redding on in the background while talking about different types of food is oddly comforting and such a nice thing to do at the end of the day. And harry doesn’t like to take over either - he does his bit of cooking, you do yours and that’s that. There’s always a dance break too, like right now.

Try a little tenderness is on, you’re in a a flowy summer dress and harry is in one of his flowery shirts and plain shorts. you both showered earlier together and then settled down to watch 10 things i hate about you. One of your favourites and one that harry likes too. After that you both decided carbonara was the meal you would make on the first night of your honeymoon.

“you smell good” you sighed snuggling your head into his chest as he moved you both around. “thanks, baby. used your shampoo by the way” he replied making you giggle. “i noticed” you say as he twirled you around. Dreams by fleetwood mac came on making the tempo of your dances change. Your dress twirled around as harry danced around the kitchen with you.

You never wanted this moment to end.

You could see you bringing your children here in a couple years, dancing with them to otis and fleetwood. That would be nice, you thought.

Making dinner was full of smiles, laughing and dancing. Just how you like it.

“This is amazing, baby” Harry said placing a hand on your thigh. “you made it too, har. take some credit” you say sipping at your wine. Harry squeezed your thigh and continued to eat his pasta - adele was currently on in the background, making it as peaceful as ever.

“i’m so glad i’m your husband”

“baby” you pouted pecking his lips. “i’m glad to be your wife” you say pecking his lips again. His lips are soft and something you could addicted to. You could kiss him for hours straight if you could.

“i think we should visit the bar we met in sometime tomorrow” you say, harry nodded in agreement. “yeah, they have nice sangria there too” harry replied making you roll your eyes.

“and a place full of beautiful memories” he added, you laughed nodding “that’s more like it. but yeah, the sangria’s are to die for” you agreed kissing his cheek before standing up and clearing off the table.

“why don’t you pick another movie and i’ll wash up?”

And so harry practically made you go into the living room and pick out a movie. Angus, thongs and perfect snogging - one he also didn’t mind. He really is the perfect husband. He did mind a little when you said the main male character, robbie was your crush when you were younger.

“so you weren’t a directioner?” he asked and you cackled “of course i was! i had multiple crushes baby!” you say trying to justify your crush on the character. Harry gave you the silent treatment for 10 minutes.

“Are you done ignoring me yet?” you asked as georgia the main character, flirted with robbie. harry sighed and pulled you into his chest making you look up at him.

“i guess. maybe you’ll have to kiss it better” he teased making you giggle but place your lips on his.

“i think i’m ready for bed, mr styles”

Harry bit his lip and pulled you off the couch making you squeal and laugh.

“i think so too, Mrs styles”

[seireiinxx]

Uhhh second part to a gift for @the-wereraven first part was a small scene redraw but I decided to put more dialog into writing. A slight warning for anyone reading this. I have bad grammar and this is my first time writing an actual fic. So I appreciate if you.. don't yell at me for that XD thats it also no tags because I don't want many people reading my bad writing--

Cw: guns, death, character death, arguments, implied teen pregnancy, Spoilers for squid game. Ahem. SPOILERS FOR SQUID GAME

Than the fourth game. This time they were in partners, of course having known each other the longest Croissant and Lobster decided to team up leaving Sparkling and Blackberry.

When it was revealed that the duo were going against each other, pure panic and grief struck Sparkling as he and blackberry looked at each other in confusion before the reality set in. One of them were to die tonight.

The two sat next to each other in silence before Sparkling spoke.

"...hey Blackberry... we never knew this but.. what do you need the money for?"

"...I was stupid enough to have an affair.." Blackberry mutters, softly. Shocked at her willingness to comply and open up. Perhaps that's the effect of being on the verge of death, speaking to someone so they remember your legacy. "I was a poor person in the first place... could never support the daughter I gave birth to.. she stayed with her dad while I worked for a house and food so I could have a place my daughter calls home.. recently her quote unquoute father gave her away to an orphanage.. if I win the money I can get my daughter, a home and food... what about you?"

"Ah.. well.. I.. opened my own bar... but my family wasn't happy with that I should've gotten a proper job they told me.. I just liked being around and speaking to people so the bar seemed like a heaven to me... my family dropped me and never spoke to me again.. the bar fell under and I became in debt.. its a silly reason but the reason I'm here is to save a bar.. because its all I really have left."

"...I see.."

"Yeah..."

"...there's only a few minutes left, let's just bet it all in one game and get it over with..."

"...a few more minutes please."

Gunshots and the sound of triumph and fear rung around as the duo sits in silence. Sparkling stands up and Blackberry follows him to a wall nearby.

"Whoever tosses the marble closest to the wall wins?"

"...agreed."

"Ladies first" Sparkling chuckles and pushes Blackberry forward. Blackberry half heartedly rolls her eyes and tosses her marble. Watching it roll about a foot away from the wall. Sighing she turns to sparkling

"Your turn."

"Yeah..."

"..." Sparkling grips his marble and smiles calmly.

[thud]

"...throw it again"

"Huh?"

"You heard me. You just dropped it." Blackberry turns to sparkling "Throw it again."

"No i mea-!!" Sparkling yelps as he is forced down to eye level staring right into violet eyes burning with fury

"What do you think you're doing?! DROP THE ACT AND THROW THE DAMN THING-! YOURE LIFE IS ON THE LINE HERE SPARKLING!! I DONT GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT THE TIME LIMIT OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY. THROW. IT. AGAIN"

"..." Sparkling grabs Blackberry's hand in his own and smiles. Tears welled in his eyes as he shakily hands Blackberry the pouch of marbles. "I... I can't... you have a better reason to get this money.. I just want a bar.. you just want your daughter.."

"..."

"Blackberry.. please-"

"No. Nono.. no dont-... don't talk. I--... just. Just-!!"

"You want to live right?"

"Of course-!! Of course I do i- I... I just cant-"

"I know." Sparkling smiles and places his chin on her head. "I know.."

Blackberry stares at the ground as the top of her head grows damp from tears, she sworn she would've cried too. Suddenly she hears the sounds of the guards and Sparkling tightens his hand around hers and let's go. Walking over to the other side of the courtyard he watches Blackberry being lead out by the other guards.

"Blackberry!!"

"..." she doesn't turn back but sparkling can tell she's holding back tears

"Go find your daughter."

[BANG]

[PLAYER 77 ELIMINATED]

[osakaso5]

IDOLiSH7 5th Anniversary Special Story: Opening Doors...

Chapter 5: A Burning Passion

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

Tsumugi's Thoughts: Several days later...

Tsumugi's Thoughts: They began filming for Shining Rainbow Kitchen!

- - - -

Whoosh...

Tenn Kujo: Ah... I can see Manami Bay.

Iori Izumi: That must be their famous morning market.

Haruka Isumi: There's so many people, even though it's early morning.

Yamato Nikaido: .........

Iori Izumi: Hey, Nikaido-san.

Yamato Nikaido: ...Hmm?

Iori Izumi: Stop looking like you're about to fall asleep. You're the one who wanted to come here.

Yamato Nikaido: Yeah...

Haruka Isumi: You look like a zombie... Are you bad with mornings or something?

Iori Izumi: He's never been much of an early riser, but it seems he also stayed up late last night...

Tenn Kujo: For work?

Iori Izumi: No. He was gaming with Yotsuba-san.

Tenn Kujo: Pathetic.

Tenn Kujo: Wake up, Yamato Nikaido. You're supposed to be a professional.

Yamato Nikaido: It'll be fine. My eyes will pop right open once the cameras start rolling...

Tenn Kujo: That work ethic is exactly why Gaku took the Crescent Wolves role from you.

Yamato Nikaido: ........

Haruka Isumi: Ah, he's finally awake.

Haruka Isumi: Did you wanna be in Crescent Wolves? I guess you do kinda look like Shizuo Chiba.

Iori Izumi: I didn't expect you to care about it so much.

Yamato Nikaido: Yeah... Ugh... I dunno why, but I just broke out in a cold sweat for some reason.

Tenn Kujo: Hehe. Not feeling sleepy anymore?

Yamato Nikaido: Don't get me wrong here. I'm not gonna pretend like we could ever be rivals. I mean, this is Yaotome we're talking about.

Iori Izumi: What do you mean? You could beat him just fine, Leader.

Tenn Kujo: Gaku won't lose that easily.

Haruka Isumi: ...Are you guys competing for the role now?

Iori Izumi: Not now, but we will eventually.

Tenn Kujo: I'm sure we'll have our showdown someday.

Yamato Nikaido: No, we won't. Let's go eat some lobster already. 

- - - - 

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Toma Inumaru: Cock-a-doodly-doo!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Cluck cluck!

Mitsuki Izumi: That's a lot of chickens! What's up, chickens!?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Toma Inumaru: Cock-a-doodly-doo!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Cluck cluck!

Mitsuki Izumi: This is Dearest Poultry Farm, the home of Dearest Eggs!

Mitsuki Izumi: They play their chickens music to make them lay good eggs!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Toma Inumaru: Cock-a-doodly-doo!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Cluck cluck!

Mitsuki Izumi: We're gonna sing them idol songs so they can lay good eggs!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Co... Huh!? Like chickens?

Mitsuki Izumi: Yep.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Right now!?

Mitsuki Izumi: You're the one who started clucking! Sing a MEZZO" song. Sogo's watching.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Okay. So-chan, I'm gonna do my best so these chickens lay good eggs!

Toma Inumaru: Uh, do I gotta sing too?

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: What about me?

Mitsuki Izumi: Of course! Ah, or will TRIGGER's manager get mad?

Mitsuki Izumi: This might get cut, but you might as well do a medley! Tamaki, you're first..!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Cock-a-doodle-doo ♪ Cock-a-doodle-doo ♪ Cock-a-doodle-doo ♪

Toma Inumaru: Cock-a-doodly-doo ♪ Cock-a-doodly-doo ♪

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Cluck cluck ♪ Cluck cluck ♪ Cluck cluck ♪ 

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Mitsuki Izumi: There! Thanks a lot!

- - - -

Momo: Wow! This is really stylish, for a rice shop! Says here the name is Iketeru Rice Mill!

Nagi Rokuya: OH! Japanese modernity! I makes me want to cosplay!

Sogo Osaka: Apparently the owner of this place is popular with women because he's really handsome.

Torao Mido: I bet I'm hotter, though.

Rice Mill Owner: Welcome.

Nagi Rokuya: .......!

Torao Mido: Wha..!?

Sogo Osaka: Huh..!?

Momo: Whoa!!! What a hunk..! I didn't think it was gonna be a foreign guy!

Rice Mill Owner: Haha. I love Japanese food, so I moved here. Do take a look around.

Momo: Not to mention he's a real gentleman~! Hmm...!? What's wrong, you guys!?

Nagi Rokuya: ...Oh my god...

Sogo Osaka: He looks exactly like Nagi-kun's brother...

Torao Mido: Are you sure you're not related to this dude..?

Rice Mill Owner: Haha. I don't think there's that many guys with a face as good as mine.

Momo: Whoa..! Even his vibes are kinda handsome!

Rice Mill Owner: You're here for the Radiant 16-Grain, right? You gonna cook it right away?

Torao Mido: It took him like a second to get casual with us...

Sogo Osaka: He must not be one for customer service...

Nagi Rokuya: OH... My brother is more lovely. He lacks confidence yet acts haughty, which is a part of his charm.

Momo: But I'm weak to hot guys...

Nagi Rokuya: No, no, no! Think of how sad Mister Yuki will be!

Rice Mill Owner: I don't like seeing people frown. Let's all be happy, instead.

Rice Mill Owner: With my shop's grains ☆

Torao Mido: He winked at us.

Sogo Osaka: He seems like a good businessman.

Nagi Rokuya: In any case... Please, let me take a picture of you.

Rice Mill Owner: OK. Do you wanna be in it too, or is it just gonna be me?

Momo: He's super good at handling customers...

Sogo Osaka: Mido-san, you said you were more handsome than him. Go on, defeat him.

Torao Mido: No, to tell you the truth, I'm not really all that assertive...

Rice Mill Owner: Well, what'll it be? Should I start polishing the rice? 

- - - -

Gaku Yaotome: This is the General's Farm, where they grow the General's Edamame!

Riku Nanase: We're already here! The trip felt so short!

Minami Natsume: The video collection Yuki-san showed us of Momo-san was quite impressive.

Riku Nanase: The pictures you showed us of Mido-san doing cool poses were impressive too, Natsume-san!

Gaku Yaotome: Your collection of Izumi Junior morning pics was really something too, Nanase!

Yuki: You had a nice collection of dinner pictures featuring Ryunosuke-kun yourself, Gaku-kun.

Riku Nanase: It was so much fun! I'm glad we had no trouble along the way!

Gaku Yaotome: Right. Our lunch boxes were delicious, too.

Minami Natsume: Not to mention the climate is nice here.

Yuki: Yeah. It's so warm.

Gaku Yaotome: And we've got someone repping every one of our nations.

Yuki: I didn't know we were nations.

Gaku Yaotome: Why don't we have a competition to see who can defend their group's honor the best?

Riku Nanase: A competition?

Minami Natsume: Oh dear... I thought we were supposed to be Team Peace.

Yuki: TRIGGER's a warrior nation.

Gaku Yaotome: Why don't we see who can find the biggest edamame?

Riku Nanase: Fine by me! What does the winner get?

Gaku Yaotome: You want a prize? Well... Any ideas?

Yuki: Let's all wager whatever we can find inside our pockets.

Gaku Yaotome: Pockets?

Riku Nanase: I've got, um... Some chocolate!

Gaku Yaotome: I've got my phone.

Minami Natsume: I have a handkerchief.

Yuki: I've got a piece of gum. Alright, so whoever wins gets all of these things.

Gaku Yaotome: Wait a minute!

Riku Nanase: Yay! I'll get a new phone and a handkerchief!

Yuki: You could've mentioned the gum, too.

Minami Natsume: If I win, I'll show you those pictures of Tsunashi-san again on our way back.

Yuki & Riku: Yay!

Gaku Yaotome: Yay! ...Wait, I'm not letting you have my phone! It's got a bunch of my personal info!

Minami Natsume: Oh my. I just so happen to love personal information.

Yuki: So do I.

Gaku Yaotome: Hey!

Riku Nanase: Ready, get set, go!

Gaku Yaotome: Nanase..!

To be continued...

[thegrandkinghimself]

hey i dunno if u do requests but could u please do iwaizumi body headcanons? no pressure if u don’t do request!!

hi! i can totally do requests. actually, i’d be really stoked to do some. maybe i should put it somewhere that i do take requests? thanks for asking me about that. 

anyway, i’m totally up for doing iwa-chan headcanons, although doing a lot of stuff for him may take me longer than this. i actively spend a lot of my free time thinking about oikawa, so i kind of have a lot of stuff in my mind already, but not so much iwaizumi. i can now see that’s a mistake on my part...

but here it is, so please look forward to it!!

iwaizumi hajime headcanons: body

again, this still ain’t about the nasty.

biceps. they get bigger with age. ‘nuff said.

but seriously, iwaizumi has really great musculature in general from some ungodly combination of playing multiple sports and some swanky genes. it only really started forming in the latter half of junior high and even a little into high school. he probably went through puberty a little later than a lot of his male peers. his increase in size comes with a fair amount of stretch marks around his thighs, buttocks, and lower back. i don’t think it bothers him that much, though he’s probably spent some time in the bathroom, alone, staring at them. 

much to iwaizumi’s displeasure, he never quite reaches 180 cm. he might grow a few more millimeters in university but that’s it. he’s probably stuck at, like, 179.6 cm or something strange but it’s not too bad because, height-wise, japanese clothes fit him better than they do oikawa.

iwaizumi doesn’t burn easily but when he does, it’s bad. he doesn’t think much of it in japan since it’s normal to avoid the sun to prevent tanning, but it really gets him once he’s at uc irvine. he goes around with peeling skin along his shoulders and nose until his classmates force him to buy sunscreen. after that, he’s very good about keeping a skin routine.

“good god, hajime, you’re a lobster!” “a what?”

iwaizumi’s had the same haircut since he was four. he only regrets it when he has to put on a suit and tie or a tux because he thinks it clashes with the overall vibe. he’s the only person who thinks this.

he gets dark circles pretty easily so you can always tell when he’s been sleeping pretty poorly. he tries to combat this with coffee, but it makes him irritable so he’s a nightmare to deal with in the morning. it might seem counterintuitive, but calling oikawa to help is probably the safest bet to calming him down. it’s like sorcery, honestly. no one’s quite sure how oikawa does it so effectively.

(it’s kisses.)

he’s irritated that oikawa has bigger hands than he does but that iwaizumi’s feet are bigger so he has trouble finding the correct shoe size in stores. he finds this very upsetting because he’s a sneakerhead. 

iwaizumi’s got great taste buds, so he’s become something like the official taste tester in his house. his mom is really grateful because, unfortunately, dad iwaizumi (iwadad?) isn’t really all that great at discerning individual flavors. to be honest, iwaizumi probably even helps out at the oikawa family household. this doesn’t mean he’s a good cook. 

he has a slight case of myopia so he has contacts. it doesn’t get worse than a -2 or -3 so he’s pretty okay most of the time. he only ever really starts wearing glasses when he’s, like, in his 30s and at home. 

though his friends (makki and mattsun) like to say he’s oblivious, iwaizumi is fully aware that he’s kind of a hunk. he doesn’t do much about it, because he doesn’t much care. he thinks that the people who crush on him for his looks are a little fickle or strange, though iwaizumi will never say that outloud. he’s used to a lot of commotion about appearances.