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#THAT IVE BEEN IN SINCE FUCKING JULY
bibleofficial · 8 months
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i hate not being able to unpack like i NEED to get into a mf let agreement ASAP 😭😭
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#stream#also i love bags#yea i used dirty socks to clean up spilled beer fuck u#it’s literally midnight.30 & i told myself i’d be in bed an hour ago#girl i’m just#STILL IN THAT LIMBO OF WANTING TO SETTLE BUT FUCKING CANT#THAT IVE BEEN IN SINCE FUCKING JULY#& IM STILL IN IT 😭😭😭#i just want classes to start so bad i just need a fucking schedule so bad#also mondays will be miserable but it’s fine#literally i’ve a 9am then my last class ends at 7pm 😭😭😭😭#BC OF THE FUCKINNG JAPANESE !!!!!!!!! maybe i should’ve just done welsh#i’ve been wearing those pants for 3 days ALSKALKSALKSALSKLAKSLA#also i’ve been chainsmoking but we know that#i’m soooo tempted to get a vape but i just listened to a vape podcast today & did u know that vapes are the same thing as smoke machines#ALSKALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLQ#& some of the vape flavours literally … eat through the plastic petrie dishes#vaping episode of Science Vs#yes i’ve 2 water bottles bc they’re from tesco meal deals ALSKALSKALSLALSLALSKALSKALKSAL#that i haven’t even eaten literally all i’ve had since like 4 is 750ml of beer#& many cigarettes#girl i hate living in a ‘community’ like everyone ‘got a spare fag?’ like YES I DO :D then i give it away & go wait#i needed that#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSALSKQL#I JUST LIKE BEING NICE !!!!! like of course my darling i’ve a smoke for u ❤️#don’t ask for a joint bc u ain’t gettin that from me#that will be my own holy water#once i get my hands on some weed …#girl i’m probably not even going to smoke here like ALSKALSKALSKALSKALKSALKSALS#i feel like i can wait until i go home for christmas like 😭😭😭
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ghouljams · 9 months
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does ghost ever tap love anymore this far into the relationship
Oh yeah he does! Mostly when she asks him to, but sometimes he gets an itch and taps her.
You blink at the city around you. Did you take a wrong turn somewhere? You look back at the road behind you. You thought this was a straight road, there shouldn't be a wrong turn to take. Yet you couldn't recognize a single thing around you. The world is hazy, you can't focus on anything around you long enough to get a read on where you are. Familiar surroundings completely unrecognizable. You've lived in this city for years, yet you have no earthly idea where you are.
You take a stumbling step forward, eyes darting around at the buildings on either side of you. Your head is spinning. Other people pass by, but they hardly seem to notice you. Either too preoccupied with their own lives, or too uncaring about yours. The trees that dot the brick street in their little square gardens tip their branches precariously towards you as you walk by. You flinch away from one of them and knock into someone. Their hands grip your shoulders hard.
You elbow them hard in the gut on instinct and feel them double over as quickly as they release you. You take a step away from them, breath coming quick. How did you get here? You don't remember how you got here. Wherever here is. What you do remember is you're not supposed to hurt people.
You do your best to quickly and calmly flee the scene. It's no problem if you don't know where you are or where you're going, it just makes it harder to follow you. After all you're not really going anywhere. The streets twist and turn in on themselves, the buildings expanding and contracting with your breath. If you don't look at anything too hard nothing spins, but the haze is still clouding your ability to actually pick out details.
You stop to try and read a street sign, squinting at the shifting letters. P- no B? Maybe an O? You make a frustrated noise, try to concentrate harder on reading it. You know you should be able to, so why is it so- You huff and give up, not willing to waste energy on something that probably won't help you anyway. You press your hand against the brick, try to ground yourself in a tactile feeling. The rough brick scratches your hand in a dull, distant, way. It's not helpful in the least.
Something is... missing. Missing from you. Missing in a way that feels- you can't describe it. Like millions of time holes, like air passing over your skin too close, not a missing limb but a missing soul. A puppet with its strings cut.
You turn the corner and bump into a solid mass. This time the hands that grab you are bigger, gentler with you, they tip your head back to meet black ringed eyes, somehow fearsome and affectionate. What a contradiction this one, you think. Or, hm, is that you thinking? He nods your head, yes it is, just a different you.
"You are slippery, Love," He almost sounds impressed, leaning down to kiss you and oh. That's something you know. Soft and a little wet, the slow drag of his lips against yours pulling you a little further out to see, a little more of a little less. He parts from you with a sigh, smoke trailing from his lips, drawn from you, you think. He hums, "That's my girl," and turns you around, "go on, Love, start running. Wouldn't want me to catch you."
And you think you do. You think catching you is the point of this game, but you can't remember. So you take his advice, and run.
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liquidstar · 3 months
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and now for something stupid
#but really i also just wanted to play around w this sort of coloring style bc its been FOREVER since ive used it#and i think i can make it look better now#AND i think i can make more sillay stuff like this and not have it take as long w cleaning up lines#anyway now you all understand the terrible dynamic between these three#phobo's infodump text is just copypasted from the wikipedia page for knives.#julliet ALSO uses knives is the thing so hes actually mansplaining < JOKE#he just wants to share. even if it gives her a headache. but he wouldnt mansplain he doesnt have it in him. hes ok with felonies tho#but julis life hasnt known peace since she was told to take care of the newbies#and shes ALSO a newbie (just slightly less so) so really this is probably just tartarus hazing her#theyd take one look at the two disorganized unserious overeager newbies and think ''you know what would be fucking hilarious''#and pass them onto the neurotic slightly-less-newbie who takes everything as seriously as possible. disaster combination.#i cannot stress enough that this is a group of bandits and murderers theyre NOT above hazing.#deimos actually is doing the best job at it since he is stealing as we speak#i mean hes not supposed to do it to his teammates but still. on the right track#as for the dynamic between deimos and phobos themselves its like. theyre just bros. theyre both pretty similar in personality#except deimos is kinda more mean and cynical while phobos can be kinda. dense and naive despite literally where hes at in life#but most of the time theyre basically beavis and butthead#i would also like to stress that juli is not being homophobic she just already cannot stand these guys and cant believe the audacity#but. complete misunderstanding. karma for stealing wallets ig#this will never be cleared up by anyone ever#but again thats not their dynamic they are just beavis and butthead. and i guess that makes juli daria LOL#finn's ocs#finn's art
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meowsticmarvels · 8 months
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HEY MINECRAFT STORY MODERS.... posting this here so i can hype myself up to finish it. but. ive got a fic cooking in the works. centered around radar and his inner turmoil just after That Fucking Torture Scene in s2 e3. if youve read my previous analyses on him this might make more sense but its okay... i just mostly came here to see if anyone's interested. so far it's. pretty crazy. i plan on also posting an annotation/kind of author's notes on some hidden details and meanings and symbolism because it gets really crazy here.
here's a few snippets. not many because i want most of it to be a surprise but how are we feeling about this one.
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^ also yes. in said fic they/them will be used for jesse and radar's heavily implied autistic.
i've thought a LOT about my characterization of him here and it will be kind of insane in a good way. yeah. so just interact with this post if it sounds interesting. can be a comment or a like or whatever...... but i Will post the ao3 link once it's done so keep an eye out for that !!!!!!
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penisbilt · 29 days
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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jerma-985 · 7 months
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I have an interview tomorrow wish me luck guyz !
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carcarrot · 8 months
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i did tell you people i met a they might be giant right.
#I DONT THINK I DIDDDDDD like an insane person i left out one of the most bonkers moments of my california vacation#saying it now makes it seem like im making this up and the following story will seem made up but dude just trust me.#im fucking. ok sunday morning the morning of Thee Concert and i (used to waking up at 4-5 am) have been awake on and off since like 6 am#my friend? asleep.#now i enjoy waking up and falling back asleep for a couple of hours however by like 9:30 im starving i need BREAKFAST#like the very nice friend that i am i dont wake my friend up i let him sleep and leave him a message on my open laptop screen#because the fucking hotel room doesnt have a pad of paper?? so i leave my modern post it note of a message#saying that im going out for croissants and coffee#because im an idiot i severely misjudge how hot it's already gotten in los angeles in july#ive chosen to wear jeans (bad idea) and a long sleeve flowy black shirt (worse idea)#i also dont look my Greatest because my friend had been telling me dont wash ur hair before we curl it for the concert!!!#so this is my hair after flying in and everything the day before (It Needs To Be Washed)#im following google maps to the coffee place as i brave the streets of los angeles on a sunday morning#hollywood boulevard around the chinese theatre is insane btw. insane. but being from new york i am unfazed (well. a little fazed)#i am Sweating. its already gotta be 80 degrees. im also reaching critical hunger levels. but i continue on my journey#google maps leads me down a sidestreet and tells me to turn down some alley and im like well thats not right.#so i turn to go back the way i was headed and find another way to get to the coffee place#as i turn and head back up theres a guy going down this same block heading in my direction#i look at him and im like hey that guy kinda looks like oh my god it actually is him. mr john l of tmbg fame#and so i have a split second decision of like do i sayyyyyy something do i just ignore him while geeking out#somehow i decide to be bold and im just like gdjgmm hi excuse me i recognize you uh do you mind if i could get a photo#he was very nice and suggested we move into the shade and i took the photo trying to turn off google maps before i did#and i was like aa im seeing you in concert 2nite love your music thank u! and we went on our way.#i think i kinda like. stopped for a moment before i went on to the cafe and was like. that just happened??????? insane. but it gets better#i do finally get the coffees n croissants btw and get back to the hotel after melting in the heat#and my friend who likes tmbg better was losing his mind once i finally told him#so the following morning after our spars concert insanity we have breakfast at a diner and then head back to our hotel#and he's wearing a tmbg shirt he got and im in a spars shirt and as we're walking back a car horn honks near us#AND ITS BOTH THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS IN A CAR and they say hi and are like we like your shirts!#and my friend and i are like losing it but trying to be cool and like oh thabk you we loved your show hi! so theres my insane story
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ra-vio · 5 months
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Art summaries by month are hard for me because I tend to do most my drawing in one month as opposed to around the year
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hazardsoflove · 2 years
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i think danger days is mcrs best album
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birdingbutch · 4 months
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car things make me want to throw up
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starswallowingsea · 10 months
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the code vein struggle continues. so i actually activated the mistle near that second boss. the poison flower thing. and i've been just dashing past that group of enemies to avoid having to fight them and potentially use healing or lose health and that has been working so far. but i continue to struggle with the boss itself. i'm pretty good at getting it down to like 25% or so, i've gotten it down to like 10% a few times, but just in that final stretch i end up using the last of my healing, my partner dies, and ugh. i spent an hour fucking around in there and did not get any progress so i decided to just call it a night before i wanted to break something. i am glad i'm making progress though at least with like. how much of the boss i can wear down quickly so that's something at least
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love-fireflysong · 2 years
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2. We were dancing but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and we’re standing here awkwardly staring at each other
(gotta tag both @torahime​ and @nick-furcillo​ in this one now. kenize because I’m a complete moron who originally posted this like a week early and deleting the og post meant I had to make another one, and tora because she too hilariously enough ALSO requested this exact premise lol)
Nick had never so badly wanted to die in his whole entire life than right now.
Which, all things considered, he really should have expected considering that this whole shebang was really Jacob's idea in the first place. That wasn't to say that all the other counselors certainly hadn't made their own contributions in making this party what it was though, Nick included.
Emma had been the one to suggest making the party eighties themed in the first place and opening the drama cabin's costumes up to the camp so everyone could dress up. Dylan who made the playlist that everyone could dance to out of all the music records found. Abi who was in charge of decorating the lodge to give it a sufficient eighties inspired look and fun for the kids. Nick himself the one who recommended having supper that night be a 'make your pizza' party complete with too many soft drinks and bags upon bags of potato chips. Kaitlyn who organized the shooting stars tournament that would determine which cabin of kids would be making (and thus eating) their pizza’s first and getting first crack at all the ‘good’ ingredients.
And Ryan? Well he had had the most important job and contribution of all: convincing Chris Hackett that they were allowed to even throw the eighties themed dance party in the first place on such short notice. Especially with camp ending in just another short couple of days.
Though at this point, Nick was starting to wish that Ryan had failed, or that Jacob had never been punished with tidying the lodge attic that had resulted in him finding the music records that started this whole thing in the first place.
Which was a shame, because the night had been going so fucking smoothly too! There had been almost no arguments over the pizza toppings, and only one kid had burst into tears when they had dropped their pizza and it fell face down onto the floor. And sure, Nick had nearly sweated to death in the kitchen with the oven cranked as high as it could, but that happened nearly every night he made supper so really that wasn’t a big issue. Plus, he hadn’t changed into his own costume until afterwards, he probably would have actually died otherwise wearing the nearly all-white khaki ensemble with the heavy jacket (and that wasn’t even mentioning all the stains he would have ended up with too).
He had even been able to join in on the dancing himself once Kaylee and Caleb had both switched with him and taken over making sure that the punch and snacks bowls stayed filled and clean cups always at the ready. And, best of all, the last couple of those dances had been with Abi. Abi, the girl he’d had such an embarrassingly large crush on all summer, but had been, as Jacob so loved to eloquently put it: ‘too much of a chickenshit to do anything about it’.
And seeing as the last day of camp was pretty much tomorrow, Nick wasn’t exactly jumping at the bit to let her know about any of that. Not when the chances of them ever seeing each other ever again after they all split ways was pretty much nil, and he didn’t even have her number or socials or anything to keep in contact afterwards.
(Okay, fine. Yes, he still had her email address that had been listed on the orientation packet. Yes, he had maybe stared it at long and often enough that he had memorized it ages ago. No, he was absolutely not gonna be messaging her through it, are you insane Kaitlyn?! Doing that would just make him look like some sort of desperate creep oh my fucking god!)
So Nick was more than content to just share a couple of quick dances with Abi. Keeping a friendly and respectful distance between each other as they danced to whatever band Mr. H had apparently listened to in his youth. Occasionally laughing with her when the both spotted one of their campers doing some absolutely ridiculous dance move that apparently both were now too old to recognize as being the new, cool thing if one had to judge from the excited shrieks that would always arise from nearby kids every time one was pulled off.
It was nice. It was good. And if this was the last chance that Nick would ever get to spend some time with his summer crush, then he would enjoy every last second of it.
As the last couple of notes of Danger Zone had begun to wind down, Nick knew he should probably have excused himself and gotten back to the kitchen so he could relieve Caleb and Kaylee a song or two back now, and that he should definitely do so now. That was the responsible thing to do after all, but the problem was that he also wanted to stay and continue dancing with Abi a whole lot more. Not that he had time to make either choice when the music faded not into another of the hard rock songs that Dylan had been playing all night, but into a song much, much softer.
A song that sounded suspiciously like one someone would have to slow dance too.
Whatever shock was on his face though was clearly reflected almost identically onto Abi’s as well. Staring up at him with the same wide-eyes and almost gaping mouth, bodies frozen in place awkwardly as all the campers continued to dance around them, not caring or even noticing what the change in music meant as they grabbed nearby friends to dance with.
Slowly, Nick turned to look over his shoulder to where Dylan was standing with the music equipment, demanding to know exactly what the actual fuck he thought he was doing. Only to be met with a wide, beaming smile of encouragement. Encouragement only matched by the double thumbs up he sent Nick’s way.
Forget dying, he was going to kill that Patrick Star looking ass motherfucker if it was the last thing he did. And considering he felt like he was going to die from the mortifying embarrassment of staring at Abi awkwardly as literally everybody else in the room continued to dance, it probably would be.
And yet, despite the fact that this was literally the perfect time to excuse himself and get back into the kitchen where he could wither away and die in peace, he found that he wanted to leave the dance floor even less now.
“We...we can keep dancing if you want. I’m okay with it if you are...”
Nick could only blink down at Abi in shock. There was absolutely no way he had heard her right, no way at all. There was no way that she was fine still dancing with him, that she wanted to keep dancing with him. Not when the extremely romantic Listen to Your Heart was currently playing very loudly and clearly throughout the lodge.
If Dylan had thought he was being subtle with the message of the song, then he clearly had another thing coming. Cause his definition of subtlety was far, far closer to hitting someone up the side of the head with a brick.
“...You sure?”
“Yeah, totally,” Abi nodded, even as she kept her eyes firmly planted on her feet. “I mean, it’s just like any old song, right?”
“R-right. Yeah. Totally.”
Even with that agreement, neither still made the first move to actually reach out and put their hands on each other. Instead partaking in their own little awkward dance of trying to figure out where exactly the safest place to put said hands would be, squeakily apologizing every time their arms managed to collide into each other and pulling back before trying again. It took them both until about midway through the first chorus to actually get settled and into a somewhat appropriate position with her hands on the top of his shoulders and his resting lightly on her waist.
Nick’s honestly not sure what part is the most painfully awkward to look at: the fact that the full foot in height difference means that Abi’s almost straining to try and reach him even though he’s hunched down slightly to make it easier, or the even more obvious fact that Mr. H would have been thrilled with how much distance they were keeping between themselves as they held their arms stiffly out. Forget ‘room for Jesus’, Nick was pretty confident that Jacob could have easily fit in between them!
And, surprisingly, it was easy to ignore the soft weight (and warmth) of Abi’s hands up on his shoulders as they awkwardly swayed side to side. Though the main reason it was easy to ignore was due to the pure fact that she had cut the bottom off of one of her band t-shirts for tonight, meaning that Nick was trying extremely hard to forget the fact that he had his own (likely super sweaty) hands on the extremely bare skin of her waist.
“So,” Nick starts off, wincing and hoping that Abi didn’t notice the sharp crack in his voice as he did so, “the decorations look nice?”
He’s currently in the middle of kicking himself for the very unintended way his voice had decided to catch at the end, turning what was supposed to be a statement into a question, when Abi nervously laughs. “Thanks, but it was mostly the kids that made everything, I just showed them examples that I had already made to give them ideas.”
“Well they clearly must have had a pretty great teacher then, cause they did an amazing job.”
Nick can’t help but catch Abi’s face starting to go pink even under the dim lights, and as always he’s pleased with himself that he was even able to make her blush in the first place. He’s ready to continue in the same vein as those compliments—willing and able to say whatever it takes if it makes her continue to keep blushing pretty pink like that—when someone (ie: Emma) bumps into Abi from behind and sends her crashing into him.
“Whoops! Sorry about that Abi!” Emma calls over her shoulder (not sounding very sorry about it at all in Nick’s opinion) before she leads Jacob back to vanish into the crowd...or at least, she would have vanished if it wasn’t for the fact that the crowd pretty much consisted of nothing but kids that were still shorter than Abi and Kaitlyn.So instead Nick got to watch her head straight back towards where Kaitlyn and Ryan are also sharing a slow dance of their own. Ryan somehow looking more awkward than Nick felt and like he would rather be anywhere else but here as Kaitlyn does her best to keep a light mood with a forced smile on her face... all while Dylan watches them both with a not very well hidden sulk.
Nick would be feeling bad for Dylan honestly if it wasn’t his own fault that he was in this mess in the first place. That, and it’s hard to feel bad for him when all Nick can pay attention to is the fact that Abi’s all but pressed right up against him right now, her arms now nearly wrapped all the way around his neck to try and catch herself and his own hands having tightened their grip around her waist to try and steady her. Slowly, she turns her face up to look at him and the colour had changed from the light dusting of pink across her cheeks to a dark magenta that almost matched the coloured tips of her hair.
A shade that Nick was very sure matched the one on his face almost exactly.
“I’m sorry!” She squeaks out, hazel eyes wide as she tries to regain her footing. “I didn’t mean to!”
“I-It’s fine,” he stammers out, trying so very fucking hard to ignore the way that he can literally feel her pulse fluttering nervously beneath his palms. “It wasn’t even your fault to begin with. Really, it was just Emma being Emma if anything.”
“Yup!” Even as she nervously laughs it out though, he can’t help but notice how shrill and high pitched her voice is. “Just...just Emma being Emma!”
It only takes another couple of seconds to sort themselves out, but Nick doesn’t let go of her just yet. Doesn’t want to let go of her honestly. Now that they’ve started that dance, even as awkward and stiff as it was, he doesn’t want to stop until the song ends. So instead he swallows and works up the courage to say as much. “Listen, just because Emma was being—well, Emma, I guess—that doesn’t mean we should let her ruin our good time. I—” he takes a breath and readies himself for whatever may happen next “—I’d like to finish this dance if it’s alright with you.”
Abi doesn’t say anything. Staring up into his face with a contemplative furrow of the brows that he recognizes oh so easily as the same one that he sees on her face whenever she’s deep in sketching. He doesn’t know what it is that she finds, but whatever it is it clearly causes a shy smile to break out across her face. A smile wide enough that he can see her dimples starting to deepen at the corners of her mouth, and his breath can’t help but catch at the sight. “Yeah, I’d like that too. I’d like that a lot actually.”
This time when they both start the side-to-side sway from earlier, it looks far less stiff and stilted than before. Abi never bothered to remove her arms from where they had wrapped themselves around his neck and Nick was more than alright with that, hunching his shoulders down just enough so that she doesn’t have to reach very far like before but even that looks less awkward and more natural due to the fact that it means that his forehead is bent over hers. Nick’s hands are still on her waist as well, just holding her and enjoying her warmth beneath his palms, but even those are starting a southern drift until they rest almost naturally on the swell of her hips. Feeling not her soft skin anymore but the rounded studs of metal on her belts, and yet it’s somehow more intimate. They still make sure to keep some distance between them of course, but it's less Jacob-sized now and more like camper-sized, and even then only Daisy likely would be able to fit comfortably as the smallest of them all.
The silence isn’t suffocating anymore either—listening as Marie Fredriksson sings about voices wanting to be heard and the scent of magic—just enjoying the moment more than anything, but then Abi starts to chuckle lightly under her breath. He can’t quite help (and doesn’t want to, honestly) the wry smile that forms at the sound.
“Oh no,” he sighs dramatically, “what is it?”
“It’s nothing. Just surprised is all that you managed to go through this whole night in that outfit without a single pizza sauce stain on it. Was so sure that you’d leave the kitchen looking like you’d been attacked by a pizza monster or something.”
He snorts. “And that’s why I obviously never wore it in the kitchen, you dummy. Nah, I just made sure to shove it away somewhere safe and then changed into this when the pizza and dishes were all done. Was sort of the reason why it took me so long to join the rest of you guys: kitchen duty never rests and all that.”
“Well, I for one think it was worth it. Don’t know what you put in that sauce but that was definitely the best pizza I’ve ever had.”
Nick pretends to groan as though in physical pain at her statement. “If you think that was what a pizza should be like, then I am so sorry for your taste buds. You savage Americans have no idea what a true pizza should taste like.”
Abi looks up at him as though offended, but the twinkle in her eyes is clearly saying otherwise. “Oh, I’m sorry, and you Australians do? At least we don’t put actual eggs on our pizza.”
“Of course not,” he scoffs, thickening his accent just for the hell of it (but mostly because he knows that it will make her laugh), “and that’s because you guys are once again American savages who’ll gladly put something absolutely terrifying like deep fried butter on your pizza instead.”
Just like he had expected, Abi’s caught somewhere in between laughing and pretending to gag at his joke, and the pleasant flips that start in his stomach only spur him on to continue. “But I was talking about Italian pizza actually. Not even we Australians know how to make good pizza either, unfortunately, only Italians can manage that one.”
That alone is worth it if only for Abi’s sudden snort of laughter. “Oh god, that’s right. Totally forgot that you were part pompous, stuck up Italian, and that you came with all the high class opinions on what real food is because of it.”
He gives a mock, disdainful sniff. “Excuse me, but you should be thanking me and my ‘high class, stuck up and pompous’ opinions right now. You should have seen what kind of food Mr. H was keeping stocked in the camp kitchen before I got here. You’d have been stuck eating slop all summer if it wasn’t for me.”
Abi laughs again, and right on time too. Nick can feel his heart doing its usual gymnastic routine in his chest at the bright, ringing sound of her laughter. The laughter that he so rarely gets the chance to be the cause of, so just the fact that he knows for certain that she’s laughing with him (and not at him like he usually fears) means that the kaleidoscope of butterflies that had taken residence in his stomach at the beginning of summer are absolutely fluttering like crazy as well.
He’s so busy centering on the ever pleasant sensations that always seem to fill him when spending time with his crush, that it takes him a moment to realize that Abi had asked him another question. Only noticing after realizing that she had been calling his name for the last few seconds.
“Shit, sorry. What was that?”
Abi sighed, but it wasn’t without a great amount of amusement. “I was just wondering if you were able to speak any Italian as well?”
Nick shrugs. “Well sure. I mean there’s cappuccino, lasagna, spaghetti, pizza, piazza—ow!”
Abi laughed after having stepped on Nick’s foot on purpose—not hard enough to hurt of course, but just firm enough to make him stop. “I’m being serious right now, you dork!”
“All right, all right already. Sheesh, should report you to Mr. H for physical abuse of your fellow coworkers.” The grin on Nick’s face never fades even as he actually answers her question seriously this time. “But yeah, I can say a few phrases and words I guess. Stuff like hello, goodbye, thanks, ‘where's the bathroom?’, ‘go fuck yourself’. You know, simple and basic everyday stuff like that.”
Abi rolled her eyes but it’s clear even to him that she couldn’t help the grin that formed either. “God, should have known that you of all people would have absolutely memorized all the ways you could swear at someone in another language before moving onto hello of all things.”
“Be a pretty terrible Australian if I couldn’t do that now, could I?”
“Wait, doesn’t this mean that you could have just sworn in Italian the whole summer instead? You had a chance to actually keep swearing all summer unlike the rest of us monolingual idiots, but instead you wasted it!”
Nick snorts so hard that it actually sort of hurts a little. “Oh yeah, cause that’s not obvious at all what I’m really doing. And when all the kids start spouting off actual Italian curses every five seconds just to show off, Mr. H totally won’t figure out which one of us started it. The fact that one of the counselors has an actual Italian last name with the known Australian stereotype for swearing to boot, and not to mention has been heard saying random Italian words repeatedly is just a total coincidence.”
“Hmm. Well, maybe one day when you show me what a so-called ‘actual’ pizza should taste like, you can teach me some of those curses for the full immersive experience.”
The song’s finally starting to wind down now, but Nick’s not paying any attention at all to that. Not when he’s experiencing that rare moment of time again, the one where he swears to god that she might actually like him in the same way that he likes her. That maybe—just maybe—she’s been nursing a little crush on him of her very own. Because she just now pretty much came out and said that she would have had no objections to going out and spending some one-on-one time with him. And normally, this would have been a thought he could easily brush off as just seeing what he wanted to see, but not now. Not when camp is ending in just a couple of short days and there’s no time for them to meet up for a pizza and language lesson before they’re separating to different parts of the country again.
And Abi hadn’t said if he’d show her, she’d said when. As though it was a foregone conclusion to her that of course they’d be meeting up again in the future just for a pizza of all things.
Maybe, just letting her know that he likes her even this close to the end of summer wouldn’t be the worst choice in the world.
The song hasn’t stopped yet, still going through its last couple of repetitions of the title, but Nick has. Stopping the dance well beforehand so Abi can look up at him in confusion just as he looks down at her in trepidation.
“Hey,” he starts off nervously, trying very, very hard not to pay attention to how pretty she looks in her outfit under the atmospheric lighting right now, “can...can I talk to you outside?” If he’s going to actually do this, then he wants it to be at least somewhat private, and right now the wrap around deck outside is the best place even if they’d both be able to still easily hear the music playing inside. He’s not expecting anything crazy or inappropriate to happen, but he wants it to be a moment just for them.
Even if it turns out that Nick got this all horribly wrong and she’s just going to shoot him down in the end.
Abi’s eyes widen in her face and he’s really hoping that it’s a mixture of hope and excitement that he can see shining in her eyes and not anything else. “Oh! Um, yeah—”
“Alright Hacketteers! That’s the last song and I think it’s time for you all to get your butts to bed for the night!”
Immediately, all the lights are turned on and Nick is nearly blinded by how bright the lodge is as a loud chorus of groans and whines erupt from the campers. All aimed completely at Chris Hackett who’s standing just outside his office by the light switch.
“Come on Mr. H!”
“Just one more dance Mr. H, please!”
“But we’re not tired yet!”
Chris shakes his head. “No can do, already let you kiddo’s stay up later than I agreed to, and we all got a big day of cleaning ahead of us tomorrow before I send you all back home to your parents.” He turns his head to look at Ryan who had probably all but gladly extradited himself from his dance with Kaitlyn the second that Chris had turned on the lights. “Ry-guy, while I supervise the clean up here I can trust you and Kaitlyn to lead all these wayward souls back to their bunks for the night, right?”
“Yeah, of course Mr. H. You got it.”
Nick looks back down at Abi from where they had frozen in shock, still with their arms around each other in the dance from only seconds before. Hoping to take advantage of the confusion while Ryan tries to herd all of the still grumbling and complaining campers out the door and back to the cabins, he’s crossing his fingers that he’ll be able to sneak outside with Abi without anyone noticing. That no one will notice that they’re missing while they spend a couple of minutes having what Nick is beginning to think was a sorely needed conversation and confession before joining the others again.
He doesn’t even get far enough to take a step backwards, much less towards the door that leads outside.
“Abi, I’ll need you, Emma, and Jacob to start taking down the decorations and then mopping the floors. Nick—” Chris frowns in disapproval “Weren’t you supposed to switch back out with Caleb a while ago?”
Already feeling the ever familiar sensation of shame, Nick can feel whatever courage he had had already slipping out between his fingers as not only all eyes in the room turn to him, but Abi has already vanished from his arms to grab for the garbage bags. Her face is as red as he’s ever seen it. “Uh, sorry sir,” he apologies nervously as he awkwardly makes his way back to the kitchen with his hands shoved tightly in his pockets, “must have lost track of the time I think.”
Except as he walks into the kitchen with his mood somewhere near rock bottom now, he’s pretty sure he lost more than just the time. He’s getting the sinking feeling that he also just lost his very last chance of maybe becoming something more with Abi.
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oars · 7 months
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hi i think im finally gonna get my voe letter . in an act of desperation i called my hr number again knowing it'd be pointless bc its all automated and when it asked what i wanted i sarcastically said "real person -_-" not expecting it to fucking say "request agent?" and i was like ugh no and did a double take and went YEAH REQUEST AGENT and like after months of no one being able to help i finally got in contact with a real person and now im finally getting one written up omg. all it fucking took was for me to keep being a sarcastic cunt i hate it here
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pepprs · 1 year
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugly#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fucking#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought w#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day a#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half of#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like… i#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jfs#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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hold-him-down · 1 year
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and i’ll have you know that i’ve posted two things in three days, which is probably close to as many things as i posted in 2022 as a whole.
if i had polls, i’d ask what you wanted next of the MANY WIPS, but as i don’t, it’s either gonna be the long awaited and over-hyped (by me) bath scene with lukey, OR it’s gonna be the leo-in-the-hospital chaos week.
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sportsnet · 1 year
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going to see the new spiderman movie on wednesday !!!
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