#THE EMPEROR SAYS ASTARION IS PERFECT

[illithidprone]

from his favorite lil vampire

Oh my GOD ASTARION

He's on his way to kidnap his fav lil vamp and never let him go smdh

[tragedybunny]

If you are in the mood for writing and taking requests, could you pls write a short fic about crying f!Tav and Astarion comforting her?

Hello! I hope you like it. This was actually a scene I had been thinking about for awhile as it fits in with my Tav's story. Thank you to @satanicspinosaurus for the beta.

Lean On Me - Astarion x F!Reader

Your group stepped through the Basilisk Gate after your confrontation with Gortash at Wyrm’s Rock, entering Baldur’s Gate properly for the first time. The clamor and crowds of the city were overwhelming, smothering you in an alien way of life you’d only glimpsed in bits and snatches from the Patriar’s ivory walls of the Upper Gate.

were familiar, and yet not, and entirely overwhelming. You almost stumble as you glance around, trying to take everything in. Muscles tense as it all blurs together and you frantically try to figure out how to navigate the section of the city you’ve rarely seen. Someone soundlessly hovers at your shoulder.

“Everything alright, Darling?” Astarion whispers to not draw the attention of the others. 

“Y-yeah,” you stutter before stepping away. There isn’t time for you to be anything else, so you breathe deep and take a step. 

“Should we start at the Elfsong? Could be a good base to operate from, and there’s always information to be found there.” Wyll’s point is solid, and the Emperor already urged you to stop there. 

“Good call.” There was just one problem. 

“Lead on, fearless Leader,” Wyll says jovially, but you’ve frozen where you stand. “You do know the way to the Elfsong right?” 

“I…” Frantically, you try to recall anything you know about the Lower City. 

“I thought every Baldurian knew where the Elfsong was,” Karlach asks, without malice, but genuine curiosity. 

You open your lips, but instead of words, a small noise comes out. It’s not their fault, they have no way of knowing, the Lower City was worlds away from your gilded cage. A place forbidden, it was below you. Or so you were told. 

“You're not familiar with the area, are you?” Wyll offers kindly, sensing something is wrong and trying to take some of the sudden pressure off. 

He says something else, but you can’t even hear him. The busy streets fade into visions of dark, cold rooms with windows to a world you can never touch. Tears embarrassingly prick your eyes as you’re drawn back into a place where fear motivates perfection, where hurt is a price paid to be molded into who you need to be. Eyes that mirror your own, blue and icy as a winter storm, stare at you with disdain. The message is clear: you’re not enough. 

Vaguely, more voices flit across your consciousness, but you can’t focus, until one voice in particular breaks though. “Go on ahead, I’ll take care of her.”

Cold hands clasp yours, a momentary calm in the storm. “Can you hear me, Love?” Wordlessly, you nod. “I’m going to lead you into this alley, just so we get out of the street.” The insistent pull is easy to follow with nothing to anchor you. 

The clustered buildings block the daylight, plunging you into shadows and shade, any progress of Astarion’s reassuring voice is lost. Daylight is a reward for obedience, and there is none of it here. Mother’s voice is in your ear, the matriarch of ice. You want to leave, but the door is locked, useful trinkets can’t be left to their own devices, lest they be lost. You feel yourself trembling, and you know you’re still crying. “You’re not there, you’re safe. Just focus on my voice. You can do that for me, right, my Sweet?” 

Eyes squeeze shut, and you yank your hands away from his to rub fitfully at the scar on your wrist. You never could get away from her, you're drowning in frigid water, you can’t breathe. She wouldn’t let you go, even when your heart stopped beating. Foolish to think you’d ever escape. “I’m going to take your hand again. I won’t hurt you.” 

Astarion makes a strangled gasp when he pries your hand from your wrist, but he holds it gently, rubbing softly with his thumb. “Come back to me, Sunlight, I’m right here.” 

Sunlight. “...you’re bright, and warm, and beautiful,” you can still hear those words of his as clear as the night he said them. Warm, bright, nothing like what you’re supposed to be. Because you’re free now, you’re no longer currency to be traded, your life is yours to mold. 

“Astarion,” you force your eyes open and struggle to get more words out between ragged breaths, burying your tears back down inside yourself. Wide crimson eyes stare at you with open concern, traveling down to where your nails have worried jagged, red lines in the skin of your wrist. Pulling it to your chest, you tuck it out of sight, wanting both of you to forget what you saw. “I’m fine. We should get going.” There’s so much that needs to be done. 

Astarion is never good at hiding his emotions from you, and hurt flickers across his face for a moment before he regains control. “But you’re not, and you don’t have to be all the time.” 

Deep breath, reassuring smile, the composure of a leader. Everyone is counting on you. That’s why they love you, you lead where they can’t. “Really, I’m alright, I-”

Gently, he pulls you into himself, and runs fingers comfortingly through your hair. “I know what it’s like, remember?” Gods, you’d almost forgotten who you were trying to convince. Instincts want to fight him still, to go on, to stop making a scene. But his comforting touch persists, and he raises your stinging wrist to his lips, laying the most delicate kiss on it. 

The tears you’d so successfully banished well back up, and you find yourself sniffling into his shirt, building to genuine gulping sobs. 

Composure shattered, there’s no going back. All your weight leans into him as you cry. “Sorry, I’m sorry, really, I’ll be fine.” 

“Shh, no apologies, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Lips kiss the top of your head, and you bury your face against him, still ashamed of breaking down. 

Time slips away from you as you let the fear and hurt drain away in tears. Astarion’s hold never waivers, soothing words falling from his lips in a low whisper until you finally quiet. There’s an emptiness where it all was, but it’s better than the pain. “I-”

“That had better not be another apology on that sweet little tongue of yours.” He lets go just enough to pull back and study you, concern written on his features, despite the lighter tone to his words. 

You offer him a shaky smile. Despite his faults, Astarion tries to be a good partner. “It burns like failure. I should be better.”

“Hmm, that sounds like it comes from your family I'd wager,” your eyes go wide at his deduction, “it wasn't hard to figure out from the little bits I've been able to get from you. But they're not here, and I am. And I say you're so very strong already, you deserve some time when you’re not.” 

Silently, you let your head fall back against his chest. You don’t have an answer for him because you want to argue. That’s a pointless endeavor, though, both because Astarion is nearly impossibly stubborn and a little part of you is starting to think he’s right. “Maybe,” you finally say. 

“You know I’m right Darling, like always,” it’s such a typical Astarion way of ending a heavy moment, you give him a genuine smile. “But I suppose we should catch up with the others, gods know what trouble they’ve gotten into without us.” 

If only you had time for just the two of you right now, it will have to wait though. More than just your friends, a whole city is at the precipice of disaster. And who knows how many more than Baldur’s Gate will suffer if you fail. One more kiss and you stand up straight, finding the will to press on again. 

A hand catches yours, a reminder you’re not doing this alone. 

Tag list:

@micropoe10 @spacebarbarianweird @writingmysanity

 @mxxny-lupin @azu21 @tallymonster @dependsonthedream

@sunfire-ancunin @bambamwolf87 @fayeriess

@lumienyx @lisrelly @elora-the-slutty-songstress

@astariongf

[bubblegumfanfictions]

Perfect to Me |Astarion x Fem!Plus-sized! Reader|

Fandom- Baldurs Gate 3

Ship- Astarion/Fem!Plus-sized! Reader

Warning(s)- fatphobia, negative thoughts about weight, mentions of Cazador, Swearing

Summary- Reader is upset after a rough day in Baldurs Gate, but Astarion proves that she doesn't need to be.

Word Count- 1,700

A/N- Sorry if this isn't perfect, it has been a while. But merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! (I also changed the name of the fic)

After a long and perilous journey through the Shadow Cursed Lands, The Underdark, and the Mountain Pass to gain allies you finally made your way to Baldurs Gate. The bustling streets and lively atmosphere was almost alien to you after so much time surrounded by nature.

The faces of your companions tell you all you need to know about how they feel at present. Disgust, Excitement, and Fear. You felt for Astarion, it must be terrifying returning to your old hunting grounds after so long, seeing the families of people he had condemned, but that wasn’t who he was now. You felt a fleeting sense of pride that your friend had promised the Gur he would help take down Cazador and find out what happened to their children– Whether they were alive or not is a whole different story.

Karlach on the other hand looked positively elated at being here. Her excitement was certainly infectious, You pause your thoughts and look over at the disgust on Lae’zel’s face, Well maybe not totally infectious. Although you did take note of a glint in Lae’zel’s eyes, she was interested but hid it well.

But even with Karlach’s excitement, you were nervous as all hells. You knew from experience that Baldurs Gate wasn’t a fan of people with your particular build (Well, unless you work in brothels or Burlesque shows but that is a different story.) Knowing what you know about Baldurs Gate you had prepared yourself before you left to expect some comments, looks and even some shoves.

You thought you had managed to keep your anxieties under control and to yourself but that wasn’t the case. Unbeknownst to you, while you were hyperanalysing everything out of nervousness, Astarion was keeping an eye on you. He’d never seen you so nervous- That might not even be the right word, terrified seemed to be the better term.

He didn’t know why you were so scared of everything. He had seen you take down an Orthon just so he could have the information that Raphael promised him. You didn’t have to do that but you did. When he asked you why you simply smiled and said “Because it was important to you.” So he didn’t understand your fears at all. Are you scared of big crowds? Of the idea that someone could jump you? No, thats not it, you’d look more alert than anything, not dazed.

After a few hours of walking around Astarion finally spotted what it was that was scaring you so much. He noticed the glares and whispers being sent in your direction. He was happy that you weren’t an elf because you wouldn't have liked the things he was hearing. He was physically restraining himself from ripping out these peoples throat. You were beautiful. Why couldn't they see that? Why couldn't you see that?

“Isn't she ashamed of coming out here?” Just breathe, Astarion. You'll be no good to the group in prison.

“She's much too big to be in with that lot.” Astarion kept his rage to himself, but he was sure the rest of his group noticed. After all you were connected by those wriggling parasites.

Eventually you all made your way to The Elfsong Tavern when the Emperor decided to reminisce about his time working with Duke Stalemane. Astarion didn't care though, not after noticing how vulnerable you looked, how upset and withdrawn you were.

He wondered if maybe you could hear some of the comments. Or if you were so used to the treatment that you knew what they were going to say.

Karlach barrels into the Tavern with all the grace of… well- Karlach. Finally getting to sleep in a proper bed for the night. Everyone was excited for it. After the trials they had all been through they deserved some much needed rest, even just for the day.

Karlach decided to go down into the Tavern to spend her night eating and drinking, Lae'zel went to the courtyard to practice. The group had discovered a temple with a link to Mystra and naturally relayed this to Gale so that's where he probably is. As for the others? You had no idea.

You took it upon yourself to kick your shoes off and practically face planted one of the beds in the room you rented, barely taking any notice of Astarion's eyes watching your every move.

The energy it took you to not burst out into tears in the streets had taken its toll on you, you were just ready to sleep.

Astarion moved over to you cautiously, for once he was lost for words. He didn't know what to say to you, should he acknowledge the elephant in the room or ignore it?

“Astarion? Are you okay?” You lift your heavy head to look at the handsome Pale Elf that was watching you. His eyes dance with uncertainty. He seemed deep in thought. “Astarion?” You say his name a second time and manage to catch his attention.

He shook himself from his thoughts “Oh, yes, Darling? What were you saying?” He thought his recovery was smooth but his discomfort still showed on his face.

You sit up and pat the spot next to you. Astarion smiled absentmindedly, even burdened by the thoughts of horrible people you were still thinking of others first.

Astarion sits next to you, “I'm fine, but are you. Don't think I didnt notice the way people were looking at you.” He paused, not knowing if he should let on that he heard what they were saying. “Or how they were… talking about you.”

You stayed silent, looking down at your hands. Like Astarion earlier you didn't know what to say. “You noticed that?”

He looked baffled, almost offended that you thought he didn't. “Of course I did! Why wouldn't I? This is you we are talking about Darling, it's so hard for me to not notice you.” He places his hand on top of yours.

The coolness from his hand is a stark contrast to the warmth of his words to you. “Tell me, why do you allow a few rotten apples to treat you so poorly.” He uses his other hand to brush some hair from your face that had fallen when your head lowered with sadness.

“Because its true. I'm nothing special, no one will ever love me the way I want them too. I'll be alone… forever.”

Astarion's heart shattered, he knew what it was like to feel so vulnerable, so self-conscious. He hated that your life in Baldurs Gate made you feel the same.

“Oh, Darling. I wish I could show you just how wrong you are. These people? This group that you brought together, they adore you, I adore you.”

“But why? I feel hideous.” Tears well up in the corner of your eyes, prompting Astarion to lift you chin with one hand and wipe your tears with the other.

“You are far from hideous my gorgeous gorgeous girl, I think you are beautiful, a walking piece of art. You do not deserve to be treated the way you are just because you don't fit in with their callous beauty standards.” The mixture of Astarion's kind words, the nasty glares, and your exhaustion caused you to break down, tears streaming down your cheeks.

Without missing a beat Astarion wrapped his arms around you in a clumsy hug. He could feel your shoulders shake as the tears (sadly) soaked his new doublet.

“You think I'm beautiful?” You sniffled, pulling your head away from his chest but maintaining contact. He may not be physically warm but his actions and words warmed you through.

“Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? I'm not blind, Sweetheart.” A soft smile painted on his lips. Astarion could tell that his words weren't really getting through to you, he knew that it would take a long time for you to finally feel good about yourself, but he can damn well try his best.

“But-” you attempted to say before Astarion shushed you, a finger gently pressed to your lips.

“No buts. I have been around for a long time, I have bedded more men and women than I can count. But you are by far the most beautiful being I have ever laid eyes on. You are so incredibly and unapologetically you and I would do anything in my power for you to see yourself the way I do.”

“But I'm not thin like other people, how can you say I'm beautiful when I look like this? ” He moved his finger down to your chin so he could tilt your head up.

“Because you are. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you're the best person for me. I don't want to imagine a life with anyone other than you in it. I adore you darling. I love you and I want you to be happy and I would love for it to be with me.”

Astarion could see your expression change to a more hopeful one. “You love me?”

“I do.” He responds, his eyes darting down to your lips and back to your own again. “Can I kiss you?” The question slipped from his mouth before he could think. You nod your head, still shocked by the sudden confession.

He slowly closed the gap between your lips, when they finally touched Astarion could sense all of your worries melt away. His free hand squeezing the thickness of your thigh as you shared a loving kiss. Astarions fangs brushing against your lips and occasionally nipping them as the kiss deepened.

“Fuck yes! Finally!” You both turned your heads, seeing Karlach stood in the doorway watching as the two of you kissed.

“Man Gale is going to be PISSED. He owes me 60 gold.” She senses the awkwardness she had just caused with her entrance and sheepishly backed away “Don't let me stop you, I was just leaving.”

She slams the door behind her but you could hear her yelling that she was going to be a rich woman and that she knew she had an eye for romance.

The two of you just laughed. This was perfect.

[bludermaus]

Ooops Astarion fans on Twitter found out about the Stelmane scene and are shitting on The Emperor and saying they're soooo glad to kill him every time now

Well I'm sorry if my comfort character can't be an elf who disapproves of helping others all the time and is murder-happy even in the end-game after his redemption; at least the squid doesn't disapprove of us doing that because he *wants* us to have allies, he even subtly admonishes you for raiding the Grove when you meet him in Act 3 showing he's not in favor of senseless loss of life

Is it so hard to just ask to be respectful to people's favorite characters? Nobody is saying either of them is perfect, but it's not nice to yuck somebody's yam, people just wanna enjoy their faves without negativity and debate about them all the time

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Wow, my Baldur's Gate 3 post blew up somewhat... nice. Well, time for more headcanons, of the unapologetically horny variety. (Yes, yes, I know everyone and their mother has done this already, well here's mine. Nyeh.)

Including: Astarion, The Emperor, Gale, Halsin, Jaheira, Karlach, Lae'zel, Raphael, Shadowheart, Wyll, and Zevlor

Tumblr is run by unfun prudes who would like my 30-year-old thoughts to remain Chaste and Pristine™ so filth under the cut until they ban me or whatever

Astarion

So the truly hilarious thing about Astarion is that he claims to be a pillow princess, but is almost always a dom. Like, I find it very funny that he enjoys the Aesthetics™ of being a spoiled brat, too delicate and pampered to lift a finger, but in reality, he's a bit of a work horse who finds having nothing to do dull as rocks.

Not to say that he doesn't enjoy receiving, I fully believe he does, but I think it's mostly relaxing at best and dissociative at worst. We'll assume though he's with a trusted partner for now though, rather than deal with the Hang Ups. I think inevitably he'd eventually roll over and change positions and end up in charge. I think it's an undeniable itch for him, even when he's being treated very well. There's just something so enthralling and exciting about being in control and playing with someone. It gives him a satisfying challenge the way being a pillow princess doesn't.

I think sex is particularly about aesthetics for Astarion as well. Bondage, costume, the art and immersion of it would be appealing. Role play would naturally extend out of this, especially as a safe outlet for some of his more complicated feelings. Succeeding at multiple layers of social interaction and intimacy would be extremely rewarding for him, I think.

He's also a very giving lover. I'm not sure praise would quite do it for him, that's not exactly his build. The submission though... oh yes, that does wonders. And he's very keen to reward that submission with nice things, sweet things, unbearably sweet, more than you can take... that's the kind of torture he's into, whining, begging, pleading, from the too muchness of it all, from how good he's being to you... mmm, yes, that's the stuff. It's soothing to understand you can be in control and not hurt people, to know that the control is not corruptive, not a bad thing in itself. I think it'd do a lot for his confidence and self-image.

Also, very into feeding as a sexual thing. He is a hedonist after all, more pleasure is more pleasure.

(The) Emperor

Hey, haters to the left, please. We believe in free love here and that includes the tentacle-y kind.

Look, okay, the dude comes on... strong. Too strong, to be honest. A little overly possessive, overly needy, but there is a hot, sweet core in there. And with a little patience, time, and reassurance, that can be honed into a respectful balance. If you can be patient and take your time, you can help him understand that he doesn't need to be in your every thought or be constantly touching to still have a deep bond. Do gotta watch those tendencies though.

That said, tentacles are a gift! Strong, dexterous, perfect for holding, squeezing, manipulating, and of course, inserting. It's hard to imagine a more intuitive metaphor for desire than tentacles, constantly grasping as they are. And boy, the Emperor wants. Also potentially has some experience using these, probably has a fair idea of how to make this good for both of you, so a pretty good bonus there.

While the Emperor tends to think he knows best and never enters anything without a plan, I think he'd be willing to take instruction. Your pleasure would be a point of pride so if something could be going better, I think he'd listen. Communication reaffirms trust after all. It's no dishonor to be spoken to or even commanded.

Honestly not sure illithid experience pleasure outside of making you orgasm and just like voyeuring or skimming the pleasure off your brain, so it's probably all about you here. Which also means we're probably not looking at marathon sessions; it'll be just the right amount of attention to a big, satisfying orgasm and then warm, languid rest. But the trick is, you're not going to get any gentle, casual encounters. His focus is unparalleled so it's very hard to back off of 100. That's fun, but can be exhausting, especially if you like a bit of variety.

Gale

Sometimes it's hard to see what Mystra saw in Gale; other times it's blinding. He's the most self-congratulating, infuriating, annoying bastard you know and he's also, somehow, perfect. What the fuck. The basic problem with Gale is that he'll tell you, to your face, that he fucked a goddess and when and where and how and the worst thing of all is he's not lying; he's actually good.

Gale has the enviable qualities of simultaneously being very laid back and very enthusiastic. He's happy with whatever position you suggest and is just thrilled to be invited. Throws himself into whatever's on the table.

Not to say that he doesn't have ideas, god, but he never shuts up about his ideas. And they're all, frustratingly, really good ideas too! "Oh, well I thought since we're in the hot tub, a little ice in my fingertips might be electrifying." "Have you considered the effects of shifting local gravity so you could ride me longer?" "I've taken the liberty of enchanting your dildo so you can feel it when you peg me!" God, don't you just hate him for being right all the time?

And to make matters worse, the stupid prick is full of wondering adoration for you, always trying to give you the best time possible, the best time ever. And he cares So Much he even notices if The Most Sensations Ever isn't the right thing right now and adjusts. He's just as happy to sit and cuddle or read next to each other. Ugh, disgusting. It's like someone made him in the Best Lover Conceivable factory and blew the whole budget on just him! Like, why Mystra gotta ruin the dating scene like that?!

Trouble is, he's obsessively good at doing exactly what you want because he was groomed by a goddess so... 😬 Sometimes you have to remind him he's enough. Sometimes you have to let him know that he isn't as good as what he could do for others, that he was already good, just on his own. Sometimes you gotta take care of him because he won't remember and he won't realize. And he might pout and object, but he deserves a good time too. Not that he wasn't having a good time but... you know what I mean. Let him be the focus.

Gale's very into attention and a slow, sweet time. Work him up painstakingly, bring him to the edge of begging, tell him what a good boy he is. He'll be crying with pleasure. Don't let him rush, rushing is a cheap shortcut and it means he doesn't have to endure being adored just as much as he adores you. It's the only time he'll ever be shy, having to accept love. But this should also, of course, always be paired with letting him reciprocate. One-sided affection or interaction would be torture for the poor boy. He wants so badly to be good, but gotta temper that a bit with reminding him he already is.

Halsin

Oakfather giving Mystra a run for her mother for "ruining the dating scene" with this one. Only The Oakfather went "thicc whores only" and the world cried amen for we were blessed.

What can we say about this polyamorous icon that hasn't already been said? Well, perhaps counter to some above examples, Halsin blessedly doesn't have to be at 110% all the time. Having a soft time is just as good as a rough ride. Although... we all know you're getting more of the latter on average, right?

The nice thing about Halsin is you don't have to worry about him denying himself or doing things just because he thinks you want them; he's a master of balance. He absolutely has his own personal, selfish desires and he knows how to serve them in turn. There's something refreshingly organic about Halsin's attraction, he's into you for perceptible maybe even measurable reasons, you don't have to worry about what's going on in that beautiful head of his so much.

A lot of energy in this one though, gotta be aware of that appetite. But hey, if you're into Halsin, you're probably open to maybe a couple more partners, together or separately. Halsin is certainly down for all of those combos.

Very generous lover, not satisfied until you say so. Down for any length of time, any position, but he strikes me as a man who's not into a lot of frills. Sex is about the physical pleasure, those animalistic instincts, and the kinetic energy between people being used and blended to create something more, something almost beyond us. A lot of artifice and dressing up wouldn't make a lot of sense to him and he's not likely to get much out of it. Don't think he'd yuck your yum, but unlikely to participate himself.

Might even prefer multiple partners at once and the longer the session the better. Short sessions are possible, but he's not going to enjoy it as much unless he can get really into the rhythm of it. Again, it's about balancing the energy, which often involves a bit of warm up and getting into the groove to truly satisfy. If one partner, high energy is best if possible. Come in with some goals in mind or you might get overwhelmed. Wouldn't be surprised if sometimes Halsin doesn't come at all due to his unreal stamina and thresholds.

Can't think of a better teacher to help you try something new though. Patient, kind, thoughtful with feedback from long experience. And he's incredibly appreciative of the unique skills every person has, the things only they bring are always valuable to him, something to be cherished and enjoyed. One of the few people who can be instructive, encouraging, and erotic all at the same time. It's a rare breed.

Jaheira

I'd let Mama Harper boss me around any day. And she is decidedly the boss, she's been giving orders since before I was born and that isn't about to change. Strong dom MILF energy here. And she definitely knows what she wants so those orders are going to be clear and consistent.

I don't think the strap is her preference, but I don't think she'd be opposed. But as another druid, I think she likes to go in bare handed, as it were. And, to be fair, she doesn't need help, I've seen those hands work a lash. She's strong and flexible, whatever you ask for she can give. She seems to have less in the raw energy department than Halsin, but I'll chalk that up to not being chief. I think it would take awhile to wear her down though, can't take her for fast or easy. Just like Halsin, I bet she prefers longer sessions to shorter, but would probably be a bit more flexible on this.

I think her real specialty is probably ropes, any kind of bondage. And she seems keen to teach the uninitiated, to make it not scary and safe. Her argument being the restraint in and of itself heightens the pleasure, why not try it? Not a bad argument.

She also probably enjoys herself most getting a work out in. She can be gentle for you, but her own pleasure is found in conquering, mastering. A test of strength or wills would probably be called for here. Tbh, I can't imagine her being that interested until you can prove you're a match for her in some way. Not terribly interested in coddling.

Karlach

Oh, a goddess among mere mortals. Those tits, that ass! She could break me in half and I would thank her, crying tears of joy. Karlach deserves every happiness on earth. Karlach is maybe the most enthusiastic person here, and that's saying something. The feeling of being close to others, but specifically sex, is such an important love language to Karlach. She has high physical needs and so is very excited and very determined to make you have as good a time as she is having. Unfortunately, sometimes this has a spiraling effect that results in questions like "how many orgasms is too many orgasms?" She just gets carried away, poor thing. But, nonetheless, as addictive as a good time is, you'll probably run out of stamina before she does. Though I bet she'd still keep going past the point of discomfort for herself, just because she's so excited and in love and bursting with joy and energy. It's hard to stop when there's so much you want to say and do and experience. Especially after being restrained so long.

On that topic, bondage probably not a good fit here. Anything that prevents touch for her is not really going to be her thing.

On the flip side, there is no such thing as too much, too hard, too long. I cannot imagine someone more eager to gobble you up, to taste you everywhere, to squeeze you close and shudder and gasp until your sweat smells the same. Like... she is here for this, she is into it. And she'll intuitively go for whatever is going to be more tactile, more of your touch and your body on hers. But also more scent, more excitement. She's going to respond like lightning to any little squeak or shiver to get any reaction out of you. She's so hungry for it.

And she's had a lot of time to think of ideas so you won't run dry on creativity for a good long while. Also important to note, she's only going to be a fast draw in the early days when everything is so urgent. She will slow down in time, though I think she'll end up running faster and hotter than most here. Her appetite is strong, but her stamina is actually on the low side. So more orgasms, but less space between them. Over stimulation is going to be huge here.

Not sure she has the patience for role play or anything fancy. This is not to say she isn't vocal she is... very vocal. Constantly. But that's quite affirming. And I think she'd be pretty into displays, perhaps even a bit of exhibitionism. After all, voyeurism/exhibitionism is all she had for awhile, so I suspect that would carry over into now. I think in particular she'd like to show you off, since she has a keen understanding of the eroticism of visuals. Not everyone's cup of tea of course, and she doesn't have to, but she just gets excited and proud. This makes her feel so good she can't help wanting to shout about it.

All of this said, she's also probably the most attentive in safety and aftercare. Halsin is a safety nut as well, but Karlach absolutely dotes. She wants to make sure she didn't hurt you or wear you out in any way and so will make extra, extra sure any little need is taken care of.

Lae'zel

Lae'zel's pussy could kill a man, in fact, it probably has. Not the most romantic of our choices, at least at first, but vigorous, satisfying, honestly intimidating. But, sex is very accessible with Lae'zel. Sex is part of communion for her, but in a different way than Halsin. It's exercise and contest and entertainment and group cohesion all in one. For these reasons, she's not as intimidating as you'd expect because just you saying yes to her pleases her. If she's invited you, that means she's already judged you worthy. She's not going to be upset when giving pointers because she has no hang ups about how sex is supposed to work. She doesn't expect you to read her mind and would probably be mad if you tried. Clear communication is part of this and you already earned the trust for it.

And on the flip side, she will not be distressed by you stating your desires because she's also not trying to read your mind. She wants you to trust her enough to say what you want. Honestly, she's probably a good starting place for virgins, her openness would be soothing. She might even have the patience to instruct, though she's not a terribly patient woman in general.

Also, not to bury it, Lae'zel just likes sex, the sweat, the scents, the weird, sticky feelings of it, the shivering glow through the body. Sex is fun for her and that's obvious in her vocalizations, both articulated words and not. And she knows that the more times you have sex with the same partner, the easier it gets, the more enjoyable it is. I think she'd like watching that progress, like a good team coming together. It's a sign of trust and affection. And in time, if she comes to trust you a lot, the sex becomes even more intimate and vulnerable, as you start to trust each other experimenting, going by instinct rather than plan. Those little shifts would be thrilling for her as she learns to improvise and accept new ideas. Surprising her would be delightful because she always thinks she has the upper hand. How fun to show her that's not always the case.

Lae'zel is a dom more out of necessity than desire, I think. She's probably a switch, happy with whatever suits; she just ends up doming a lot because no one has earned her subbing/she doesn't trust enough yet. But taking turns would also be valuable team building for her, important everyone trains even the skills they're weak at. Together, we become better at sex and at understanding each other. Weirdly, a very emotionally healthy outlook.

Raphael

I think I feel about Raphael as others feel about Enver Gortash. I want to project every flithy, nasty ass thought onto this wet rag of a man. So, without further ado: humiliation is the name of the game. I think if you fucked Haarlep in front of him, binding him so he couldn't do anything, only watch as Haarlep groans about how much better you are than Raphael, I think he'd come in his over-tailored pants. Cuckold the shit out of him. I think he needs to be stepped on, pegged, and drooling in the street. Never let him have his own way. I think he'd see stars getting pushed around like that. I think it would be great for him. Just use him like a cock sleeve, really dig in there. Absolutely deserved.

Like, imagine if this whole thing is his cringefail attempt to court Zariel. Imagine that level of humiliation. Works on this for thousands of years, only to burn his own house down over a few puny mortals stealing his shit. Oh my goddddd.

If nothing else, it would be Fucking Hilarious.

Shadowheart

So Shadowheart is probably into some hardcore stuff, right? She strikes me as someone with a bit of a home invasion kink. Definitely here for the blindfold/sensory deprivation kink. Restraints, but not just bondage, I'm thinking vinyl suits. Shadowheart's definitely into the unconventional. The more toys and artifice, the better.

It's probably next to impossible for Shadowheart to relax sexually. I don't think it's that she isn't into sex, but it's probably difficult for her to calm down and feel safe being vulnerable, get in touch with soft, gentle things that are just nice. Things that hurt a bit are more comfortable, more familiar, and even have less to do with her personally so she doesn't have to deal with her own feelings and preferences. But, with a bit of patience and a firm hand, you could coax Shadowheart into easing up, allowing herself to be taken care of, and to enjoy just a simple hand job or the too soft touch of lips. She's a bit of a project, but especially if you enjoy a bit of darkness and danger, very rewarding.

And Shadowheart would be big into reciprocation, you can't do something nice for her without her doing the same to you. And she'd take it as a point of pride that she's very good at making people beg for mercy. I think she'd become very giving over time, if you can be patient and teach her how to enjoy herself, in time she will give as much and more back to you.

And to be clear, not suggesting she doesn't also and always enjoy a bit of bondage and sensory deprivation, but I think she'd enjoy it more once she's come to terms with the fact this is not a service she's required to provide, an act which could determine her worth, but just occupations she enjoys for herself, outside of external validation. Teaching Shadowheart to masturbate could be huge. I do worry about her some times. A little self-love lessons might be necessary.

Edging also definitely something to try here. The slower the better. But, it's gotta have that pay off, or she'll start circling back to denial is the end in itself. Which... maybe sometimes, but there's also a lot to be enjoyed in the climax too!

Wyll

Hard to find a sweeter, gentler soul on the road. And a softer touch too. Needless to say, it's a lot of firsts with Wyll. But, he's a quick study and enjoys being tender and lovely. And I'll say it right now, even with this illustrious company, I don't think anyone gives better head than Wyll Ravenguard. Such a soft mouth and singularly focused and determined, he genuinely enjoys it too. It's such an act of service and this boy is all about acts of service. He wouldn't even get distracted by his own pleasure, just entirely focused on what he can give you. Halsin might have greater skill, but that heartfelt desire is unparalleled.

Wyll is made to be commanded, he will do whatever you say in bed. Even if you gave him control, I'm not sure he'd want it and definitely wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, not to say he's a pillow princess, those hips are doing their share of heavy lifting. Just to say that he wants instruction, he wants to follow your lead and let you tell him what to do. Praise would be huge here, tell him what a good boy he is, how well he's doing, he'd go mad.

To prolong the pleasure, a little orgasm denial may be useful, make him work for it. He loves a challenge and a test to prove his worthiness. And, in time, you could get experimental with him as you build his confidence. Maybe a little exhibitionism. Maybe a little bondage, a little role play. As long as the trust and love is there, Wyll's willing to try anything once.

Maybe the most fun thing about Wyll is Wyll actually can keep it down. Some of us just have to scream about it, but Wyll can actually get away with a fair mount because of his cool exterior. And Wyll is available for quickies, an advantage over some others here since he doesn't require a huge amount of energy set aside to have a good time. Wyll responds better to smaller but frequent affection and physical touch than big events spaced out. And Wyll is impulsively romantic, he likes to surprise with fun ideas and sudden invitations, which is a reward unto itself.

Zevlor

And a win for Team Sexualizing Old Men! I remember my roots. It is truly a tragedy that Larian won't let me sex up that old man. Look at him, you know it'd be good. So tender, so thorough. And Zevlor deserves something nice god damn it.

You know he knows what he's about. None of that shy, awkward fumbling you get with the new kids. Heck, he probably knows how to get you off standing against a wall, still in his armor! A true prince among men here. Don't think because no one's asked in awhile his skills have diminished.

Very passable oral skills, surprisingly long stamina, not just in oral too ;). Not the fastest ride you'll ever have and some positions are probably going to be out, battle-scarred knees and such, but for my money, absolutely delightful. Don't have to contend with more power than sense here.

And hey, if you want some Honorable Mentions like Aylin, Enver Gortash, or Dammon, let me know! I'm always down to give sexual headcanons no one wanted! 

[pupmkincake2000]

So, I never thought that I'd play Baldur's Gate 3, since turn-based RPGs are not my thing. But I was literally persuaded to play this game and I just have to share my impressions.

I did watch shorts and videos on YouTube, so I was aware of the world and characters before playing. That's why I decided to start Gale's origin

and I think if I decide to replay the game, I will choose him again, since he is the best. Yes, I think he is. I love good characters, kind, sympathetic, a little ambitious, gentle and loyal. And Gale fits my taste standards perfectly. He kind of reminds me of a sweet Hank Anderson from Detroit: Become Human. Noble, kind, gentle and faithful.

And, the funniest thing is that I decided to romance Astarion. Playing as Gale.

But not because I like Astarion.

On the contrary (and now hear me out), the more I played, the more he annoyed me, and I didn’t understand why people were so crazy about him. I mean, if you want him to like you, you need to do morally questionable things. Not to mention he is absolutely not my type, I never liked characters like him. That is, Astarion is the embodiment of everything that disappoints me in characters.

And you can talk as much as you like about his life being difficult. Because this does not justify many of his actions.

However, the ship itself works surprisingly well. I mean, I really like Gale and I don't like Astarion, but their ship surprisingly works. And now in a ship Astarion seems much... likable?

Basically, they are a perfect complement to each other, which is exactly the type of relationship I love. They help each other, they do not “fix” each other, but complement each other. They heal each other. Their relationship is not abusive if both work on this relationship, and the love between them is that type of love that happens probably once in a century. And to be honest, I don't want to make Astarion an ascended vampire (I haven't finished the game yet), I'm sure Gale will find a way for him to walk in the sun without the ritual.

Well, now to the other characters. Karlach and Wyll

are just two incredible sunshines. I tried to build friendly relations with them, I didn’t choose flirt while answering their lines, but for some reason they still ended up offering me sex, and it was really awkward and painful to turn them down.

So I just started shipping them together because it's another type of relationship I enjoy. It’s a pity that their couple is not popular (is there such a pairing at all?). This is the perfect “enemies to lovers” ship and it’s a shame that they can’t, like in some games, flirt with each other if they don’t have any affair with the main character .

I have almost nothing to say about Shadowheart, I’m not particularly interested in her (my party consists mainly of Astarion, Karlach and Lae'zel), but I think she has enough fans.

Halsin… oh, he is a magnificent man, and I would have romanced him if not the reasons. But I want you to know that he is also an incredible sunshine too, kind soft teddy bear who I wanted to hug and never let go.

And finally, HIM. Mysterious Guest. I knew this was an emperor, but I really liked the look I've created for him! I made him look like Hank Anderson, of course he didn’t look exactly like him, but nevertheless… I think he turned out very beautiful.

Let me scream about this beaty for a while!

In general, apart from problems with the gameplay (it took me a long time to get used to it), the game is really nice. The only thing that, it seems to me, would be worth changing is the permissiveness of choices when you go through the origin of any of the main characters, as was done with the Dark Urge. I mean, Wyll, Karlach and Gail are sunshines, so I absolutely can't believe that they are capable of doing bad things. If you can't avoid bad deeds when playing as the Urge, why can't you make it so that good characters are unable to do bad deeds? Would you really believe that Gale, Wyll or Karlach would be capable of slaughtering the whole village of children? For example, I believe that Astarion most likely would not have saved Shadowheart in the first act; he behaves selfishly throughout the entire first act. But I don’t believe that Karlach, Wyll and Gale would be capable of leaving her caged.

So, yeah, that's it.

[forcedhesitation]

the end of wyll's quest is....interesting. it was VERY cool. I thought having the archetypal fairy tale prince go "slay the dragon" was a fitting ending, I just feel like it was....a little underwhelming in some ways.

more under cut

first and foremost- I wish that it was not possible for your tav/durge to converse with ansur. I wish that it automatically selected wyll, because I simply do not think that this entire scene has as much impact if it is not wyll at the forefront of everything. which is why I also have to complain about the emperor here.

the reveal that he is balduran is.... well. I knew about this already, through accidental spoilers. Initially, I thought it was a stupid reveal. but reframing the reveal in the context of a fairy tale...well it makes perfect sense. it just FEELS a bit underwhelming and strange, because your player character is not wyll. this entire area feels like it was written with an avatar wyll in mind. and I wish that there were changes made to the companion wyll version of the game that made up for this. wyll is a character who is hugely tied to the main plot by virtue of being the duke's son. he spends the game searching for his father, while trying to deal with both mizora and the absolute. mizora is the one he sold his soul to to save the city before, the reason he was cast out. the absolute wants to destroy and steal his city. and ansur, a legendary dragon, might be his way of saving the city and getting his father's approval back. ansur had wanted to kill balduran because balduran had been infected with a mindflayer parasite, but had embraced his illithid nature rather than rejected it. I feel like there's some parallel that can be made to wyll there. in that he was othered, like balduran was, because he accepted mizora's help. ansur condemned balduran because ansur is a bronze dragon and therefore lawful good. wyll's father exiles wyll because wyll was "at best a fool, at worst a traitor," in his father's eyes and his father tolerated neither. wyll & balduran are both victims of the inflexible nature those of lawful good alignments have. they are both seen as monsters for what happened to their bodies. I wish that was emphasised a little more. like autoselecting wyll for the ansur dialogue & giving him dialogue with the emperor would have made this ending feel a little more complete, in my opinion. and it would have better demonstrated the point of having the emperor even be balduran. because that's such a fairy tale thing, the stuff of real legend! for the hero's mysterious guide to actually be some great old hero thought to be long dead. and I do think it works. it just doesn't feel as impactful if wyll is not your avatar.

I also wish this area was overall bigger & more developed. I know they redid wyll's character from EA. I know they had less time. I just. I wish that this area was as detailed as the sharran temple in act 2. it feels like SUCH a big deal, it feels like it should be bigger. especially since at lvl 12, you're just. unkillable.

but the dialogue afterwards, where he says he's in the mood for celebration and wants to make a celebratory dinner? SO CUTE!!! that man's joy is contagious!!! I could practically feel him holding back how much he just wanted to jump around with joy. and the sweet little "let's hope gale won't be too upset that I'm cooking for once and not him." I love you. you are too fucking sweet wyll. this fucking city does not deserve you. this playerbase does not deserve you. you are a true gem and I wish people saw you are just as beautiful and interesting as astarion and gale.

a cool possible scene they could add, to given wyll's questline more material IS that dinner he talks about. or preparation for it! something where he asks tav/durge to taste the food beforehand? or where your avatar can ask him about where he learned to cook, prompting him to talk about his time as the blade of frontiers? out in the sword coast on his own? this scene could easily be platonic or romantic, but be given extra options for a romantic relationship. but something like this could truly be added at an earlier point in the game too, it doesn't have to be tied to this particular moment.

but overall really cool area of the game. very cool bossfight. and a rather clever ending to wyll's quest, contrary to what his haters say. I love the commitment to the fairy tale theme. it just needs a bit more. maybe it feels more satisfying if you've romanced him. although I've heard his act 3 romance scene is currently bugged? his unromanced questline is slightly bugged (doesn't rob you of any material, though, it just replayed some dialogue for me). either way, I hope that gets fixed asap. I so badly need to experience this romanced version in my other campaign.

[melachonyof-lilies]

So just a bit of a blabber.

Baldurs gate 3 has a theme of manipulators and abusers. Our cast of characters have one, but no us. Durge has Bhaal, Astarion Cazador, Wyll is Mizora and Tav has the emperor. So, who is ours? The player's anatagonist, the one who manipulates us in every turn, the one who speaks to us directly. It Raphael, Raphael is there to manipulate us the player to do his bidding. He is the only one who acknowledge us in the ending, coming to us. (Though there is that voiceline with Karlach, though we both know Mama K won't do us harm.).

A theory in my mind is that he could see your soul, so even if you play Shadowheart or Gale, he knows you. An ending where Lae'zel or any companion/Durge ending with Raphael alive, he still addresses you. (He is a theater kid, so he might play along about you being a vampire, gith or any other races. He is that extra.)

Of course you can say, OP, its just a game, of course you as player will always be the main focus. But its so weird that this devil breaks the fourth wall in endings to speak directly at you. (Aka, coming knocking plus his eye contact at you in the screen. You, even if the camera switches rapidly, he will look at you in the endings.)

As i love my fanfic with a third person perpective, when it comes to second person pronouns, idk, it fit perfect for me with his character.

[andrewknightley]

OK SO I FINISHED BG3 thoughts and stuff under the cut (spoilers obvs) . Pals and mutuals that played feel free to comment it with me, and also wyll enjoyers pls do interact fkfkdk

SPOILER about the ending

-Ok so i was playing a good tav dwarf paladin romancing wyll, got my team of wyll/lae'zel/karlach, but lae'zel felt like the real main character of this story and honestly its what she deserves.

-got orpheus and turned him into a mind flayer sorry bro. and then the emperor gets angry and fights with the baddies. like gosh this guy sucks

-saved the day yadda yadda and lae'zel went away to guide her kind and LOOK SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER i was so sad but i knew it was what she wanted but IT PAINS ME

-then gale leaves me to become a god, and then astarion gets attacked by the sun and runs away and im like wow this ending is such a downer everyone is leaving me

-AND THEN. KARLACH.......

-Ok so i cried like a baby like. i fucked up i dont know what i did wrogn i cant believe karlach is gonna die im SOBBING

-But wyll is like "WE CAN LIVE ALL FIGHTING DEMONS IN HELL" and got the coolest shit ever of these 3 going on adventures like you dont know HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS ENDING!!! im so happy aaah TOT

-then there is the epilogue and it's the cutest thing i can hug shadow heart and halsin and karlach :_) tried with astarion but i dont know if its impossible or i had him too low (every companion loves me but he finds me acceptable fgoihdgfjiodgio) anyways i wanted to hug all my friends

-gale is a god and like good for him but im like ??? damn we dont see his mission or anything he does this all off screen?? i wanted to see his struggles and stuff idk i wanted to see the FEELINGS

-anyways idk if i got a bug or something but when i get to talk with people about what i am doing is just me and karlach and 0 mention of wyll idk why TOT let me talk about my romantic companion pls

-also i had like 2 options to talk with romanced wyll and way more conver with astarion wich again i didnt even have very high on his love for me (i do love him and my chara frienenemy status tho) but why only 2 options for wyll i wanna talk with him moreeee at the end

-he did blow me a kiss it was the cutest thing tho

-Again idk if i got a bug but i never get anyone commenting on my relationship with wyll and i know the companions gossip about karlach and probs other charas >-<

-i heard a friend who had to kill karlach to get to see her gale ending so i tried in another save to see what happened (it was awful btw) and that was the only way to get an extra scene of wyll telling me to go for mizora and having other people aknowledge him in the epilogue (just with jaheira it lets me say wyll, with astarion and shadow heart they gave me answer like "oh im with my lover" and such instead of by name)

-i am a big fan of wyll but not so much of wyll missions, like they are fun to play but gosh i wanted the cool FEELINGS moments like lae'zel, shadow heart, astarion and karlach had, i feel he is straight up a classic hero tale and i want to see this man overwhelming with feelings of all the stuff he suffered. also more stuff with the dad idk i couldnt even tell him im with his son that could had been cool

-gale also feels like ???? he didnt have a proper mission and was like off screen wich is a bit weird to me ??

-my fav chara is wyll and then second lae'zel who is perfect 0 notes on her 100% increible. Then Do Not Make Me Choose for the other origin companions i cant. I love them so much. I didn't like astarion at first and i was like "really this is the man all my friends and everyone is obsessed about??" but then act 3 arrived and i was like Ah. I Get It Now. I would say my less fav is gale but because i didnt bring him anywhere so next game im def paying him more attention.

-anyways i could have some notes but in general i fucking loved this game so much TOT

[memaidraws]

On Repeat Playlist Tag Game

Rules: Shuffle your repeat playlist 10 times and tag 10 people. Tagged by @flymmsy 😘

If you've ever wanted to laugh at my musical tastes, no better opportunity now, folks!

I know a lot of you guys are within the venn diagram of shared/mutual fandoms, so what I'll do for this (to make things interesting) is assign a pairing for each song and a wee rationale as to why ;)

Tagging: @defira85 @atypicalacademic @dirty-bosmer @henbased @braindancer @feykiller @vasiktomis @circlejourney @chickenparm @sweatandwoe (sorry if you've been tagged before!)

SHEPARD / GARRUS (Mass Effect) Okay, Reina's technically not 'Shepard', and this is a big cheat because Jeon Somi is her voice claim haha. Definitely a song she's released out of spite when Garrus all but disappeared to play vigilante on Omega ;)

MARTIN SEPTIM / MARINA CORVUS (TES IV: Oblivion) Listen, listen, this song is so perfectly them it actually kind of hurts a lot. To people that surrounded Martin, Emperor-to-be, Marina was exactly the kind of troublemaker they needed him to stay away from. But to Brother Martin the man made of flesh? She was everything to him uwu

GORTASH / DURGE (Baldur's Gate III) Come on now, the lyrics are PERFECT for a Durge lamenting about the big dumb crush she's got on Enver and oh my god? He likes her back? (She says, kicking her feet in the air, after a bloody massacre, much to Sceleritas Fel's dismay)

MAYOR HANCOCK / LEE (Fallout 4) UGH oh my god so I know Lee Know from Stray Kids is his faceclaim but this song is very much them. Wanting to run away, seeking freedom where they can take it? Not wanting to take shit for all the crap that's been thrown their way? Yeah <3 Maybe for a modern AU <3

GORTASH / DARK URGE (Baldur's Gate III) It's not cheating! If Kill! Kill! Kill! was from Durge's perspective, I can see this being from Gortash's perspective (the fact this is one genuine emo/alt??? perfect for Gorty's aging rockstar look). Like come on, it's in the name, the lyrics, the screamo bridge? Davey Havok knows what's up.

ONMUND / ALREK (TES V: Skyrim) Oh man. Oh man so this particular album from Bastille has been very Onmund/Alrek coded to me (for reasons I won't get into yet ;D) But this is very much like Alrek watching the world quite literally burn and the only thing he can think of is courting the cute mage and throwing all his cares into the wind. After all, when the world's ending, why does any of it matter?

CAPT DELACOURT / MC (Heart of a Sky Pirate) Hey, my otome game officially lives on an app, so this counts ;D But these more upset, shanty-esque songs definitely reminds me of Delacourt and his romance route. Throwing your cares to the wind (literally) and having a grand ol' time no matter where the adventure takes you.

F!SOLE SURVIVOR / CURIE (Fallout 4) Hear me out: I think Parker's (my sole) romance with Curie is almost highschool puppy love. And it doesn't help that they both have some pretty huge baggage that they need to work through-- so having someone to lean on and love in a way that's easy, carefree and happy? Yeah they're gonna hold onto that <3

STELLE / MARCH 7TH (Honkai: Star Rail) Forever crying that my Caelus is getting so many better pulls than my Stelle, but fwiw, I definitely think Stelle and March have a very fun, easy-going relationship. Kinda need to when you're Trailblazing across the galaxy in a giant space train (and angering gods along the way, oops!)

GALE DEKARIOS / TAV (Baldur's Gate III) Hear me out: I think these two would be so into each other in the way that they absolutely would not leave each other alone. You think Astarion/Tav is bad? These two have it worse. To be more precise, my Tav for this romance, Rae, is very much into exploring his romantic curiosities with Gale. No one else makes him feel as safe and wanted uwu

[therealeagal]

Baldur's Gate 3 - companion ranking.

Decide for yourselves whether my list is accurate or not. Whichever you decide, please do @ me, bro. I'm interested to know who your favorite character is!

I switched up my usual intro. What do you think? Anyway. Let's begin. This is a list of the companions in Baldur's Gate 3. I think I got all of them. There's so many. They are enumerated from best to worst.

Wyll Ravenguard, the Blade of the Frontiers. Really got a stick up his ass. I try to romance him and he starts throwing out disapproves whenever I talk to someone else. Motherfucker I'm not the one flirting with them I just want to know what they're up to. Stuck up piece of shit. Also I guess he's a hypocrite that literally sold his soul for power (he says he had a good reason…) But mainly I'm mad about him being a fucking diva when other people flirt with me. Fuckin' Wyll… Wyll stans got pissy at me because they didn't get the joke. Well, his placement at the very bottom of the list was a joke. Don't tell the stans, but my review was completely accurate) What? I didn't say anything. I mean, Wyll Ravenguard is Ao's gift to humanity. There exists no person in this world that is better than Wyll. I could wax loquacious about all the ways in which Wyll is perfection beyond perfection, but I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that no matter what Karlach's entry may suggest, Wyll is truly the greatest of the great.

Scratch the dog. Maybe it's just because I'm a dog person, but there's no way you can convince me that Scratch isn't the best.

The owlbear cub, for much the same reasons as Scratch. Although I can't say I have any strong feelings one way or the other about owls or bears...

Karlach. No question that Karlach would take the top spot if Scratch and the owlbear weren't around. As she is the first companion that is both A: a good person and B: not a prick about it on top of being irrepressibly cheerful and kind, there is no question that Karlach is the best official companion (Scratch and the owlbear are more pets/familiars than companions). I mean, Gale is also a good guy too and he's not an asshole about it, but he's kind of a tool. Karlach is a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

Editing this one in, because I FORGOT WITHERS! Rookie mistake. Sorry, Withers!

Jaheira. I never played the first two Baldur's Gate games, but I understand that Jaheira is a returning character. Either way, she's a fuckin' badass. A regular in my final party.

Shadowheart/Lae'zel. It's hard to choose between the two. They've both got excellent storylines, which are actually quite similar in a lot of ways. And they're both badass chicks. What's not to love?

Boo, the miniature giant space hamster and his human familiar, Minsc of Rashemen. Also often a fixture in my party, because he's funny.

Gale Dekarios. To be honest, I wasn't crazy about Gale at first. Kind of pretentious. But he's grown on me. Yes, he is kind of a tool, but at least he generally likes it when I'm nice to people, unlike a certain vampire who shall remain unnamed... also he eats three of my magic items. Not that I was using them but it's the principle of the matter!

(this is Wyll's true rating, but ignore it because obviously he belongs at the top of the list. PLEASE LIKE ME!)

Halsin. Ever wanted to fuck a bear? In every sense of the word? Well, have I got news for you!

Astarion. WHY DO YOU HATE IT WHEN I'M NICE TO PEOPLE, ASTARION??!?!?!?!?!? IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!

The dirt.

The worms inside the dirt.

The stool of the worms inside the dirt.

Minthara. A giant asshole. Which I guess is to be expected. Still better than Solas. Yes, I know they are from two different games. Shut up. Fuckin' Solas...

The Emperor. He of the gaslighting and the tentacles.

The Absolute. Yes, the main bad guy. I'd rather hang out with the main bad guy than...

Oh, lemme edit this in. Just in case. If you, for some reason, get your dander up about the contents of this list, please refrain from reblogging this to just whinge about what a terrible person I am. Not that I am opposed to someone challenging my ideas, but the death spiral does get tedious quite fast. If you really really got an axe to grind, try the PMs. Please and thank you. :)

[itsclydebitches]

Just finished the game for the first time and yeah, I can see why a lot of people have issues with that ending/epilogue. The Emperor randomly deciding that if he can't beat us he'll re-enslave himself (and then he died on the second turn from his own dragon's flame). The game forcing someone to become a Mind Flayer which was particularly frustrating for me because I spent my whole run avoiding additional tadpoles. No celebration scene even if you agree to it. No offer to help Lae'zel in the coming fight against Vlaakith. Gale—THE most romantic motherfucker in Faerun—has the worst marriage proposal I've ever seen and I wanted an option that boiled down to, "Try again and ask me properly this time." No one runs after Astarion despite Wyll announcing multiple times that he's burning up — and I seriously question the moment where he's sneaking up on the random praying (?) NPC. Depending on how you play him/help him/how much you learn about him, the game assuming he'd instantly fall back into being a predator with a smile on his face feels... iffy. I mean, I'm not going to do a whole meta about it here, but what he says if you talk to his corpse about only hunting on Cazador's orders, going after animals at the start of the game, waiting for offers to feed on Tav, and potentially ordering the other spawn not to touch anyone sentient alone feels like enough to bring this choice into question.

The worst though was Karlach. Many fans have already discussed their disappointment in her ending options, even in a game that tries to push a less than perfect Happily Ever After. So, you know, echoing all that. I made Wyll the Blade of Avernus so I'm not sure why I never got the option for her to accompany him, but at the very least, I thought to myself, I've promised to be there when she goes. I thought that was a really well done scene and I was excited (in a tearful way) to see the comfort offered when her time comes.

Except I was playing as Astarion. Who runs from the sun. Who's hiding behind a bunch of crates when Karlach goes supernova.

Yeah, that hurt—and not in a way that felt earned by the story. I can see now why, despite many epic choices in the ending, so many players are sticking to Acts I and II on replays.

[slusheeduck]

Slumber Party

Astarion and Gale have a fun night of kicking their feet, giggling, and discussing the all-consuming power they both intend on taking for themselves. “Well, would you look at that. Looks like you and I are going to be roommates.”

Gale, already settled in bed with a book (and a hot water bottle for his aching…well, everything—the luxury!), looked up with an amused smile at Astarion—hair still damp from the bath he’d no doubt enjoyed—as he dropped onto the bed beside him with a long sigh.

“Gods, this is perfect. What a lovely little treat after dealing with a megalomaniacal wizard.” He peeked an eye open to look over at Gale. “No offense.”

“Not too much taken.” Gale shut his book. Astarion was always talkative after a fight; there’d be no reading now. But that was fine, really, considering he hadn’t been able to focus much to begin with. “Though I’m surprised. I thought you’d be in Fal’s room.”

“Well, yes, and I’ll probably move there tomorrow night.” Astarion settled under the covers, looking as pleased as a cat as he curled up beneath the blankets. “But he’s got every intention of spending the night combing through the Emperor’s old hideout to burn off some nervous energy from dealing with Lorroakan. I, on the other hand, am not going to waste the first chance I’ve had at being in an actual bed. He can listen to Aylin and Isobel quote sonnets into each other’s nethers or whatever passes as sex for them when he finally comes up.”

Gale snorted at that. “I thought elves didn’t sleep. You meditate, don’t you?”

“Yes, yes, but it’s significantly nicer in a feather bed.” He gave Gale a pointy grin. “Besides, it’s like a sleepover if it’s just the two of us. We can talk about boys and braid each other’s hair.”

“I can’t braid, and what boys are there? Falerin, who we talk about enough.”

“Well…there’s Wyll.”

“And Halsin.”

“I don’t want to talk about Halsin. This is a bear-free environment.” Astarion made a face. “And I don’t want to braid, either. I’m very comfortable.”

Gale rolled his eyes with a smile. “Then I suppose we should go to sleep.” He started to reach for the lamp.

“Or…” Astarion shifted on the bed, scooting closer to the edge to properly look at Gale. His eyes glinted red in the low light. “We could talk about what you said in Lorroakan’s study. About taking the Crown of Karsus for yourself to become a god.”

Gale’s smile faded, and his eyes flicked nervously up to Astarion. “It wasn’t anything serious,” he said as blithely as he could, rolling onto his back. “That’s just how wizards…talk, really. It’s no secret we’re an ambitious bunch, and things like that can just…pop out as we try to out-think each other. Entirely hypothetical, I assure you.”

He glanced to Astarion again; the vampire’s grin had only spread, and he rolled onto his side to rest his chin in his hand.

“Oh, I know that’s what you want everyone else to think. Just a silly little pissing contest between egos.” His eyes narrowed. “But I know what it looks like to dream of power, know the rush that comes from having it so close.” He looked up, lips curling even more. “I think that’s why we make such good friends.”

Gale shut his eyes, letting out a long breath. “All right, fine,” he whispered. “But nothing I say here leaves this room.”

“Of course not. That’s poor slumber party etiquette.” Both hands were propping up Astarion’s chin now. “So, you want to oust Mystra.”

“I wasn’t lying; it really is for the good of everyone,” Gale said, raising a finger. He sighed. “You were right, back when I was teaching you Mirror Image. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life—however long that is...” He tapped his chest. “…begging for her forgiveness.” He worked his jaw for a moment, staring at the ceiling. “Mystra is the Weave. You can’t love one without the other, not really. But magic carried on without her, and if she falls, it will carry on again.” He looked over at Astarion. “But she picks favorites. I’m not the first Chosen she’s picked up and spat out, and in retrospect, I was foolish for thinking it would end differently.”

“Of course you would, though,” Astarion said quietly. “You were in love.”

“And now I’m not, and I see…everything so much more clearly.” Gale rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. His eyes were bright. “When I was teaching Falerin to reach into the Weave, when I was teaching you Mirror Image, all I could feel was…joy at being able to show you what I experience every day. Even if I’m nowhere near where I was before the orb, the Weave is still there. And so many have no access to it. They could, and if Mystra was even a fraction less selfish than she is, she could go beyond her Chosen. And if I were in her place, if I were the God of Magic, I would ensure that it would.”

Astarion half-smiled. “And the power’s not so bad either, is it?”

Gale shook his head. “That’s beside the point.” He leaned forward. “The fact is, I know what it means to be mortal. More importantly, when it comes to the Weave, I know what it is to be a prodigy, to be Chosen, and to be rejected. I understand. Mystra never will.” He made a face, thumping a fist into the mattress. “And I’m close. I’m so close I can practically taste the divinity.” He huffed a sharp breath through his nose, then glanced over at Astarion. “And you probably think I’m a hubristic fool.”

“Actually, I’m thinking that I have never been so actively attracted to you.” Astarion chuckled as Gale rolled his eyes, watching the wizard roll onto his back again. “Obviously, I kid, but we really are two birds of a feather, aren’t we? You with your aspirations of godhood, me with my plans of ascension. Oh! Imagine if you named me as your Chosen. Gods, think of all that power.” He gave a very sharp, unabashedly evil grin. “We’d have all of Faerûn at our feet.”

Gale puffed out a laugh. “Sorry to disappoint, but—and I mean this as nicely as I can say it—I would never name you my Chosen, Astarion.”

“No? I’m hurt, darling,” Astarion said with a put-on little moue. He shook his head. “I’m already fairly certain of who you would name Chosen, but tell me anyway.”

“Falerin, naturally.”

“I knew it.” Astarion’s cheek went back to his palm. “So, you’d take him from the fey, then?”

“Certainly. He was studying to be a wizard, you know, when he was trying to treat his illness—he only went to the fey because there was a time limit.”

“Ah. He’s already traded autonomy for ability.”

“Exactly. And even after my apotheosis, I would still be myself. Still Gale of Waterdeep, just…improved.” He looked over at Astarion. “I care about him, far more than the fey ever could just by virtue of their nature. As for his illness, plenty of wizards find methods to extend their lives—I’ll guide him to finding his answers.”

“Mm. He does have something of a Chosen One about him, I suppose. And he’d be a hero by the time we’re all done.” Astarion looked up, quiet for a long moment. “Of course, he’ll be my spawn by then. So in a way, I’ll still get those perks of being the God of Magic’s Chosen, albeit indirectly.”

Gale blinked a few times. “You’re…planning on turning him?”

“I’m floating the idea,” Astarion said with a smooth shrug. “I want to keep him safe, when all’s said and done. As an ascendant, the best way to do that would be as my spawn.”

Gale squinted. “Like you are to Cazador.”

Astarion bristled. “No. Not even remotely,” he said through his teeth. He took a breath, willing himself to relax. “I know I won’t be the same after I ascend. I’m not stupid. But…it’s possible that my love for him won’t be the same as it is now. So if I turn him, if I make him mine in a way that goes beyond the emotion of it…I’ll get to keep my heart, and he’ll be untouchable when he’s a Vampire Ascendant’s favorite.” He looked over to Gale, and his mouth twitched. “And now you probably think I’m a monster.”

Gale was quiet for a moment. “I think it’s romantic of you,” he said after a moment. “Granted, romantic in a thoroughly fucked up way. But I’m the last person who could judge you for that.” He let out a sigh. “But we should probably rest up. I can only imagine what’s in store for us if this is our first day in Baldur’s Gate proper.” He leaned over to turn off the light, then laid back. “Good night, Astarion.”

“Good night, darling.”

There was a quiet rustle as each of them settled in, and a mutual pre-sleep/meditation sigh. After a few minutes of trying to sleep, though, Gale’s eyes opened. He stared up at the ceiling, brow furrowing.

“Astarion?”

“Hm?”

“What if Falerin says no? To both of us.”

“No to what we have planned for him, or no to what we have planned for ourselves?”

“Both, I suppose.”

Astarion was silent, not moving a muscle. Gale, of course, didn’t have dark vision, so there was no way for him to read the body language of the dark shape on the bed beside his.

“I try not to think about it,” he finally said. “Good night.”

A clear end to the conversation, so Gale let it lie. And, as he shut his eyes again, he found himself doing that exact same thing.

Casual Banter Masterpost

[hexblooddruid]

rogue & warlock for bryn & wizard for pacifico (yes i chose to the classes of their lis...)

Oooh, I love this, thank you!!!

DND Character Class Asks

Bryn

rogue: How secretive is your muse? What are they secretive about? What would it take for your muse to spill their secrets?

Bryn is generally pretty open, if someone asks about her about herself. Otherwise, she will not willingly talk about herself, especially in the beginning. It's not so much out of secrecy; she just doesn't like taking up space.

That being said, she does hide that fact that she ran away from her circle and that she was about to stowaway on a ship to the Moonshae Isles when she got picked up by the mind flayer ship. When she met Astarion, she lies to him about what she was doing in Baldur's Gate at the time of kidnapping. She figured that it as less...complicated (?) than telling the truth and she doesn't know these people, why tell them about her past. When she gets to the druid grove, she's more afraid to speak about it. Druid circles are insular but they do communicate each other so she's afraid they will connect her to her circle if she speaks too much about it.

As she goes on traveling with her companions, she continues to keep it to herself more so out of guilt and embarrassment. Everyone around is desperate to go back to their normal lives before the tadpole, except for Astarion, and unlike him she's not running away from some terrible master, just boredom (initially) and the responsibility of a nearly immortal life (eventually).

What it will take for her to open up about this is trust enough in someone to be vulnerable with them, which is a lot. She at this point trusts many of her companions but not enough to be vulnerable with them. Bryn in my last playthrough didn't get there with them until past Act 2.

warlock: Has your muse ever made a deal to get something they wanted? Is there anything your muse wants enough to broker for it? What would your muse sacrifice to get what they want?

Oh this is so interesting to think of from the perspective of my Wyllmancing Bryn. My first thought was her relationship with The Emperor but no in that playthrough she was naive enough to trust him and even care for him. She trusted him right up until meeting Orpheus (Lae'zel was too important to her to kill him). I would say the closest thing Bryn makes to making a deal in that playthrough is her relationship with Mielikki. Bryn's a life cleric, and she's passionate about protecting life. She gets that connection to life from her druidic studies. But she's way more passionate about her domain than her patron goddess. Her relationship with Mielikki is a negotiation of power. Mielikki, because of her history with Myrkul, is very interested in defeating Kethric Thorm. Bryn wants to be able to protect and heal her friends to the best of her ability. Mielikki offers her help once they enter the Shadowlands, when Bryn goes down in battle against the Toll Master, the first of the Thorm family she comes across. They both know that if Bryn devotes herself just enough to Mielikki, it will divide up her magical focus enough that she will be ineligible for Timeless Body. Bryn sacrifices being able going back to her circle and becoming Archdruid to stay committed to this journey (win/win for her tbh).

Pacifico

wizard: What is your muse like as a student? Do they have the patience for studying? What do they like learning about? What do they most want to know?

Pacifico is very smart and loves to learn but hates the rigidity of formal education. His way with words and passion for music is not the only that drew him to being a bard. The way bards pick up bit of knowledge, just enough of everything to be dangerous, is his preferred way to learn. He does not have the patience for studying. He can focus on his work (working on his sword technique, on writing music, perfecting an instrument) but just studying? No. There's need to be some sort of action or end goal. Studying is too abstract for him to focus on for too long.

Pacifico is a typical bard, he loves learning about a bit everything. He loves hearing Gale go on about the nature of the weave. But what's been his passion and what we really wants to focus on once things settle down is crafting instruments. He's been reading up on woodworking techniques got build his own violin.

[spellsparkler]

28, 29, 30!

28: How well does your Tav function under pressure?

it depends on how in control they are, either of the pressure or of their response. they're hard to rattle in the face of life- (or, later, world-) -ending stakes, as long as they have a plan for what to do about it, but if something throws them off their game they have a very hard time getting back on it. (see: their reactions to all the things I have yet to write and post, including but not limited to astarion reading them for filth, the whole experience of the githyanki creche, meeting elminster, meeting the emperor.)

29: What advice would you give to your Tav?

being aware that there's something damaging about your mindset does absolutely nothing to stop its ill effects on yourself and others. you are not a hapless monster you are just mentally ill. see a fantasy therapist and stop trying to absolve yourself of responsibility for your own actions. also you look good in autumnal colours, stick to those

30: What are your Tav’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

honestly, I still haven't decided exactly what row does post-game, so I can't really answer this one. however I will say what I know of the ending of their general thematic arc, which culminates in them losing all the cool tadpole shit they ate so many worms for and needing to learn all the things I said previously, and that NO you can't read people's minds as a crutch for your issues with identity. go how to fantasy therapy and learn how to be a person, you have the capacity for it. ( it was a really tough call because given the chance to become evolution's perfect squiddy little manipulator... row would have a hard fucking time saying no. but I didn't like how that would affect their arc; row felt like an upward trajectory character to me. I'll expand on all that at some point, for sure. there's something very hero's journey about how their narrative worked out.)

[qserasera]

i'm like, perpetually at least two weeks behind my tumblr feed but belatedly for the writer ask game: ❤️🎬🦋 (hope you're well and getting enough sleep!)

GIRL....HELP. it has almost been a month since u put this in my askbox....and No i have not been getting enough sleep but IM TRYING T W T questions from this ask meme here

okeys i was rlly happy i got to sit down and answer some of these hehehe

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic? oh gosh...all these answers are going to be bg3 related on account of uh *waves hand* everything hahahaah ^ - ^

this would be a scene from stag hunt, one of those fics based on my own game playthroughs where my protag made an unwise choice with limited information and has some Regrets about it:

"He was defenseless!" This is the closest to shouting that Astarion has ever heard from her. Her eyes blaze, sparks against smokepowder. Like smokepowder, it flares, then dies down in a flash to cold ashes—gray and hollow. "And I—was my own greed that killed him."  Against his own will, Astarion's grip loosens slightly. "Layla—" She's not so unsteady as to crumble—but her posture slackens, the warmth of her forehead leaning into his shoulder, against his collarbone... Astarion presses his lips together.  What does she want to hear?  What does he even have to offer, in comfort?  She is the one with the soft touch, and he, the crooked one.  'You could have asked me,' Astarion does not say. 'You could have asked me to kill him. I would have. Just this once. To stain my own palms in red, to wield my blade at your word. I would have done it willingly, at your command. But you—' But she wouldn't, he knows. It must have been a side effect of all those songs she surrounds herself with—a streak of paladin tendencies in her, despite her bardic background.

for the context my favorite line written Has to be the one about astarion offering to be her blade, to take on the the dirty work so to speak...something something mirror image of a lionheart knight, but in reverse :'')) he doesn't have to, but that combo of unstated protectiveness/hinted at beginnings of devotion even when he's Not the type to necessarily think about others is very. Chewy to my brain.

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

ok OK. so. i already mentioned like every single genshin fic i've written for this question (pspsps emperor!zhongli and consort!childe) so. i have to choose something else her LKDJFLSD

when i finish my bg3 transmigration tav fic meeting magistrate astarion, it's going to be Very fun and good but until i have. i don't think i can do that XD

time for SURPRISE EXORCISTS WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

i always forget if u did read/follow up on natsume yuujinchou but if i had to film a very short movie/film for one of my fics, i think it might have to be in your periphery

it was one of those slightly Unhinged fic images that grabbed my brain and wouldn't let me go??? and i finished writing it in like. an hour.

i can see it being filmed like a 20-minute mini-episode, with lots of implied pining music in the background even as the main character Insists to themselves that he's moved past such silly feelings like childish sentiment :))

and for the aesthetics of it, i kno it's a cdrama and not a jdrama, but i would love it to have the slightly tragic, color-rich aesthetic of an ancient love song ahhhh

o w o i need to fancast them too....oh boy. um. i have no idea actually...their faces are already perfect to me in the manga ahhh

[img description: "matoba and natori stare at each other with surprised expressions"] someone else who knows more about the jdrama actors scene can cast them for me. 🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

oh gosh. i don't know?? (right now it would have to be astarion :)) but i do like character types who are. hm. not liars specifically, but they say one thing and do another thing (masks/identities/roles), even if they're feelings are telling them something different! schemers...planners. i also do enjoy writing uh. casually kind characters, if that makes sense.

what i cannot feel like i can write well yet are straight up extroverted characters.......it is. too advanced for me right now :''))) (that might explain why i enjoy reading fic about sportsball anime once upon a time, but very rarely Feel the urge to write something for them hahahaha)

another character type i can struggle with a little more are the ones that are ruthless/willing to be cruel since it's hard figuring out where the line between believably ruthless with some crunch for texture and cartoonish evil laughter would be lmao

i do sometimes like writing characters with less?? dialogue?? and just more thoughts, but that can be a problem for characters who enjoy talking overall (like astarion ; w ; )

thank u for asking these of me friend, thanks for patiently waiting for the response LKSDJFLKSDJFLSD