#THE ENDING IS KILLING ME IM GONNA EAT FUCKING CONCRETE!!!!!!!!!!

[doctorjohcoy]

oh so death surrounds you you follow death wherever you GODD like a bloodhound? chasing the wolf down and fighting him until one of you winds up dead? you called him brother and now oho you hold his hand while he dies?? ?6!!!!45]= fuck OFF fuck right off 

[ennabear]

hi ennabearrrr...im back at it again...poppin in your inbox with a request for more loser!abby fluff if u want! 💙 i need her to be all blushy and squishy and i literally want to just EAT HER WHOLEKELFKTO love your writing soso much, it brightens up my day every time!

ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ HIIII SWEET PLUTOBEAR!!!!! i love having you in my inbox don’t worry 🫶 i’ll build you a comfortable little nest so you can enjoy your stay and come back sometime... HEHE ANYWAYS making fun of this fucking loser again but she’s actually just me in another universe… nsfw at the end but i swear it’s cute!!! 18+

can’t stop thinking specifically about loser!abby falling asleep in front of you for the first time when she comes back from patrol completely wiped out. the trudge back to her room feels like it’s never ending, her whole body is sore and aching but she’d rather pass out in bed than on these concrete stairs. you’re sitting in her bed waiting for her— sheets freshly washed and pillows fluffed— when she clambers through the door. she doesn’t see you at first, yelping and almost falling backward when she realizes there’s another person in her bed.

“abby, it’s me.” you laugh, staring at her panting and hunched over form.

“jesus fuck, never do that again.” she sighs, holding her face in her hands.

you beckon her closer, opening your arms to make room for her. she flops right down on top of you, completely crushing you as her muscles relax. “how was patrol?” you prompt.

“mmmh, it wasn’t great.” she groans. “we almost lost a guy because he got shot in the leg. he was losing so much blood, saying shit like ‘tell my family i love them’ and it kinda freaked me out, you know how i am.”

“he’s gonna be okay though?”

“yeah. at least i think so. i just pray that never happens to me.”

“it won’t.” you assure her. “i love you too much to let it happen. plus, i wanna see what you look like with gray hair and wrinkles.”

she giggles softly into your neck, wrapping an arm around you and settling down. before long, her gentle breath turns into soft snores, and her soft snores turn into her sounding like a fucking chainsaw with a puddle of drool dripping down your neck.

you laugh again at your loser of a girlfriend, letting her exhausted cacophony of snores lull you to sleep like some sort of evil white noise. this was the first time in a while you fell asleep with such a smile on your face.

or… loser!abby oversharing to you while she’s drunk. you’ve never questioned why she was so sentimental about certain things, like how she could remember how and when she got every coin in her collection, but would never let you touch them. as soon as she got some alcohol in her system, she felt like it was impossible to shut up. (although she frequently felt that way, sober or not.)

it didn’t really cross your mind that she’d lost someone so close to her. sure, you’d lost your own family and friends a few times. the world is cruel but we adjust, we learn to grow around the grief, changing into bigger and better versions of ourselves. that’s what abby was good at.

she was so sweet, so confident, sometimes even a little bit of a badass although she’s a true dork at heart. so when you hear the story of her fathers passing, the brutality of it absolutely wrecks your heart. the fact that she was in the building when it happened, letting the mysterious murderer escape right under her nose, leaving her with a giant hole in her heart that could never be filled.

“i’m sorry…” she giggles through her waterfall of tears. “we were supposed to have fun tonight and i killed the mood. again.” you frown at your girlfriend, pulling her in for a tight hug and letting her sniffle into your shoulder. yeah, it’s true, she did technically ruin the mood. but how could you be mad at your baby? at least you know her better now, and she’d probably find another way to ruin the mood if not this one.

on a happier note, walking in on loser!abby masturbating... she’s actually had a great day today, and she wants nothing more than to be pleasured by her girlfriend to end it. she just doesn’t know how to ask for it. after giving you a quick parting kiss in the cafeteria, she showered and returned to bed, deciding to finally do something about the ache in between her legs. should she go get you? what if she just rubs one out really quick and then forgets about it? should she wait until you get back?

fuck it, she decides, and she’s instantly shoving two fingers into her weeping hole. the stretch is easy, she’s used to it by now. she whimpers as her fingertips graze her g-spot, reaching up to tug at one of her nipples. “abby?”

“oh, jesus!” she gasps, clamping her hand over her mouth as her cheeks redden. “you have got to stop doing that!”

“having fun?” you tease, watching as her blush spreads from her cheeks to her ears. “yeah… well, no actually.” she sputters. giggling, you climb on top of her and tug your shirt off, then lean forward to place a sweet kiss on her nose bump. “would you like some help?”

as soon as you get her approval, your lips are suckling onto her clit with two of your own fingers pumping in and out of her. she’s breathing incoherent praises like “gah, fuck! oh- it- i’m !!!” as you slide in and out of her, pausing repeatedly to lick up some of the slick that’s dripping down your hand.

once she tips over the edge, you rub her thighs in encouragement, mouth too occupied sucking up all of her cum to praise her verbally. when you pull away, she’s staring up at you with doe eyes. her lips, cheeks, nose— fuck, her whole face— looking more kissable than ever.

“i’m sorry.” she sighs once you have her wrapped up in a warm blanket, guiding her head to rest on your chest.

“for what?”

she ponders this for a second. she’s so used to apologizing for embarrassing herself that she forgot you’ll love her no matter what, even if it’s as awkward as walking in on her with her hands down her pants. “uhh, actually, i dunno anymore.” she smiles. “i love you though.”

you crane your neck down to kiss each of her eyelids as they flutter shut for the night. “i love you too, silly.”

[symphonicmetal101]

Outdoor Forest Dates They Would Love

Im not saying stargazing

LUCIFER

- Fishing

- Dad sport

- Im not elaborating

MAMMON

- Trail blazing and/or hiking

- Are you kidding? This man has so much energy and curiousity, he would ADORE going hiking with you, whether that means along concrete paths in the woods or on foot through the woods and making your own path, he loves it.

- He also loves to do scavenger hunts with you, because the woods can be a treasure chest. It also helps him appreciate the little things he sometimes misses.

LEVI

- Canoeing

- Its peaceful, its just the two of you, its quiet, its beautiful oh fuck its really just the two of you

- gets a little flustered but eventually wants to show off in and with the water, manipulating it into whatever you want to see.

- Also has fun if both of you are trying to row and its been a while/youve never done it so it gets confusing shdbdjsj

SATAN

- Shelter construction

- He doesnt mind setting up a tent, yes he does, hes terrible at, but he likes the idea of implementing some ideas hes seen in his survival books.

- Also involves math and physics to a degree (haha) so hes all in

- gets a splinter in 0.003 seconds, doesnt make a big deal about it outwardly but internally screaming at the amount of f i l t h that just entere- oh you brough hydrogen peroxide and a bandaid, you're a life saver

-Ends up building a solid, warm and comfy shelter with you

-If it rains though, hes noping out of there

ASMO

- Wild berry picking

- ok yeah, hes a little worried about the juice

- and the bugs

- and his hands

- but nothing a small spell and cute gardening gloves cant fix.

- he loves having a competition to see who can pick the almost overripe berries without them falling apart

- at home he'll turn some into chapstick

- but for now he'll settle for the berry-flavoured kisses (after you guys wash the berries in some clean water from your water bottle bc I hc Asmo as a minor germaphobe)

BEEL and BELPHIE

- Campfire dinners and stories

- They go hand in hand so I'm not separating them

- Beel loves campfire dinners, and to hold you while Belphie tries to spook you a bit with some horror stories, before giving up and lying across your lap seeking your hand in his hair

- Smores will get all over all three of you, even if Beel is the only one eating them

BARBATOS

- Trapping/ knot practice/lashing (I was originally gonna do like...a botany scavenger hunt, which he would LOVE but I dont have the braincells beyond that idea)

- He enjoys trapping any animal in a humane manner in which they would die quickly, but if that makes you uncomfortable or sad he wont do it around you

- Instead he'll show you how to tie knots and lash things together.

- If you two keep at it, you'll have a solid shelter

- Ghost moment in which he'll come behind you and show you how to tie a few knots.

DIAVOLO

- Wood burning!!

- you had to find a way to cheer him up after he took the phrase "tree hugger" too far and demolished it

- but there were parts of the tree you were able to salvage, and with his help, cut into discs. (After you got him to stop crying because he killed the tree by accident)

- you explained how wood burning and a fire was different before he started using his magic to etch a somewhat lopsided smily face into his disc of wood

- its a work in progress but hes incredibly happy and hopes you are too

MEPHISTOPHELES

- Archery/Shooting practice

- He has a cane, which to me says his leg is gimped in some way- you can choose in what way or if hes just a fancy bitch

- but his upper body strength is better than his lower body, and not necessarily needing to walk or run makes target practice a fun thing for him to do outside other than horseback riding

- He'll want to show off just a bit first before showing you how to do it if you dont know already

- If you do, its gaaaaame on

SIMEON

- bird watching :)

- except this man is a disney fucking princess

- youre getting all the wildlife coming in

- gets very adorably excited at everything

RAPHAEL

- Meow meow I got no braincells

- collecting rocks?

- collecting rocks. Its an easy, repetitive and fun activity (for him) that helps take his mind off his past a bit

- loves using a rock tumbler later

LUKE (PLATONIC DATE)

- Tapping trees

- This kid would LOOSE IT (positive) if he got to make syrup with you

- you guys would get to make so many sweets with it together when its ready-

- I dont say maple specifically bc you can use different trees too

- So each date will be a different kind of tree so you can taste all the kinds of syrup!

SOLOMON

- BUG COLLECTING

- bugs are freaking cool and I like to think Solomon at least loves beetles

- so he would love going bug hunting with you

- if you dont like bugs he will convince you, or try to at least, to tolerate them. You've learned to tolerate him, havent you? How hard can a tiny bug be?

- totally wont take one home to scare the shit out of Asmo

THIRTEEN

- Rock climbing

- They are definitely a dare devil, and wont free climb only because you asked her not to. Please.

- She enjoys the rappelling part more than anything, and will hold you if you want it

Masterlist

- A lot of shouting because shes just...so happy to be up so high

- will fuck around a lot so you have to keep her safe...please...or join her

Anyways, hope yall enjoyed this! First piece with the newbies, Ive really only paid attention to Thirteen in the very very limited interactions I had with her so I apologize if theyre ooc

Remember you are loved and appreciated!

Masterlist

[ssamie]

eight. “nakahara chuuya”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and mild violence

masterlist.         suicide freak!

instead of eating out with the team, her lovely afternoon turned into a not-a-date-but-kinda with chuuya 

"yaknow, chuuya.. you haven't changed at all" she commented. she twirled her straw around the glass of her milkshake as she briefly glanced at chuuya from across her 

"hah?! what's that supposed to mean??" chuuya exclaimed angrily 

"i've always wondered about this" she hummed "but where do you get your embarrassing hats?" she asked 

chuuya clicked his tounge as he angrily sipped on his milkshake. "say what you want, vogabond" he said 

"i bet you're still going on and on about suicide despite your age, aren't ya?" chuuya sneered 

"yeah" she nodded 

he sighed and leaned back on his chair. "atleast pretend to deny that" he said 

she sighed and leaned back as well. "what are we doing here, chuuya?" she asked with a huff  "im guessing it's not a date. well, unless it is, then-" 

"shut up! it's a not a goddamn date!" chuuya snapped 

she chuckled and threw her hands up in mock surrender. "chill out, chuuya" she cooed  "and not like i'd care anyways." she muttered "im still chasing after a certain pudding head so i'd rather this be a little reunion, if anything." 

chuuya's scowl softened at her words. his brows nit together as he blinked dumbfoundedly at her. 

"you love someone?" he asked, uncharacteristically quiet. 

"i wouldn't say love" she shrugged "more like close friends, im currently convincing him to commit a double suicide with me" 

"oh." chuuya mumbled 

she rested her elbows on the table and placed her chin on her hands. "why did you find me, chuuya." she asked, but with her tone it was more of a demand for the answer 

chuuya didn't reply but simply crossed his legs over the other. he chuckled lowly and leaned in closer to her face. "im here to take you down." he whispered "you and your agency may have fooled and escaped from akutagawa, but not me." 

chuuya grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head closer, so that their noses were touching. 

"im your old partner, after all" he smirked 

"indeed you are" she smirked back 

chuuya grinned, mischief in his eyes as he roughly pulled her head back and tilting it to the left. he then leaned in and whispered something in her ear. 

"what the fuck?" kenma muttered in disbelief 

"old partner?" kuroo muttered in confusion 

a few of the boys, specifically kenma, kuroo, yaku, lev, and yamamoto, were hiding at the other side of the cafe. they were seated by the farthest booth covered by a huge plant, trying to spy on the two. thanks to chuuya's loud voice, they were able to hear bits of the conversation. 

"maybe they were lovers?" lev suggested with an innocent smile on his face 

"who even is he?" yamamoto asked in a whisper 

"well, he could be an ex boyfriend or a friend, we wouldn't really know" yaku said with a sigh 

"he has a point" kuroo sighed "we don't really know anything about her, if you think about it" 

"we don't know what she was doing or who she was with before this" 

"whatever, just shh!" yamamoto shushed him 

"ah! i think he looked at me for a quick second" lev shuddered nervously 

"what?? he saw you??" yaku asked frantically "that's because your head is almost touching the fucking ceiling! get down!" 

"he's looking this way!" yamamoto whisper shouted 

"shut up, yamamoto! you're too obvious!" 

chuuya grumbled as he met eyes with the boys. he briefly glared at them before averting his eyes back to the girl. "those brats are watching us. tch" he said 

"i know" she shrugged nonchalantly. "though, i would advise you not to hurt them" she chuckled

chuuya smirked and stared her down tauntingly. 

"or what?" 

"i'll kill you." 

"ah, i see.." she hummed "you led me here to fight, is that it?" she looked around the deserted alleyway he brought them to. 

chuuya clicked his tounge and nodded in response. 

"well, i appreciate it" she chuckled "i wouldn't want kenma to see such violence" 

"stop babbling about that kenma and fight me!" chuuya scowled as he ran towards her, throwing punches which she dodged. just as he was about to hit her, she grabbed his arm and punched him in the stomach, making him cough out his saliva. 

"you call that a punch?!" he exclaimed as he swung his fist straight to her stomach, sending her back until she hit the wall. 

"it doesn't even count as a massage." chuuya sneered "get up." he scoffed

she sighed and lifted herself up from the ground, stretching her arm and wincing in slight pain. "geez, i thought my blocking arm would get torn off" she said with a soft chuckle 

"she predicted my moves.." chuuya whispered to himself 

"we've known each other for a long time, chuuya. i know everything about you, your moves, your pacing." she said 

"i wouldn't have been a proper partner if not, right?" she said with a teasing smile

"tch" chuuya scowled and threw a punch at her again. 

she groaned in pain as his fist made contact with her cheek. "why are you so weak?" chuuya asked. just before she could fall back, he caught her by the neck, pushing her back against the wall and squeezing hard on her throat. 

"the y/n i know would never be cornered down this fast, this easily." he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "what're you plotting in that head of yours" 

she didn't answer but simply smirked as his grip on her throat tightened. 

"answer me or i'll kill you!" chuuya exclaimed "right here, right now!"

"no you won't." she stated with a carefree smile "after all, i am a former mafia executive. and a current traitor, as you all see me." she chuckled "my execution for those reasons would be the council's desicion"

she smirked as chuuya's expression morphed into one of conflict and distress 

"if you do kill me before that decision without permission, your act will be considered as betrayal" she said "you'll be punished, or worse, executed" she cooed 

"and if i overlook all of those and kill you, you'll still be happy since you still managed to die." he scowled 

she smiled and waved her hand about. "yeah, so go ahead. cmon!" 

chuuya scoffed as she simply continued to pester him. 

"coommmee ooonnnnn~" 

chuuya didn't answer but simply stabbed a dagger straight to the wall beside her head. the blade managed to graze her cheek, letting a lone drop of blood travel down her skin up to the bandages on her neck. 

she chuckled as she watched him stomp off in irritation. "oh, you're not going to?" 

"chuuya driven out of the organization because of me had a nice ring to it too" she laughed 

"shut up." he scowled 

she plucked the blade out of the concrete wall and waved it around with a teasing look on her face.  "well then, aren't you gonna walk me back like a proper gentleman? ~" she cooed 

"like hell i will!" he snapped back. he sighed and turned back around, continuing to make his way out of the deserted alleyway. 

"just shut your mouth and get outta here, you ass" he said as he lazily waved his hand in goodbye. 

"i'll try to find a man or woman willing to kill themselves next time" he said 

in an instant, her eyes sparkled. she looked at his retreating figure with wide eyes and a look of delight. "chuuya!" she exclaimed  "i had no idea you were such a good person!" she said 

"that was my way of saying 'go to hell', idiot!" chuuya barked back 

"let me tell you this, y/n" he said "don't think this will be the end of it." 

"there will be no second chance!" he yelled 

she simply smiled fondly and shook her head "no, wrong!" she sneered "dont you think you're forgetting something?" she called out, making him stomp in anger 

"dont-you-think-youre-forgetting-something? ~" she sang out 

reluctantly, chuuya buckled his knees and pointed at her with a fake bashful look. "there will be no second chance!" he exclaimed in a higher pitched voice, imitating a girl. 

she didn't respond with the proper reply they agreed on, but simply looked at him with a blank smile. 

chuuya blinked back and repeated his words. 

"n-no second chance.. HEY YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING!"

"well, he didn't walk me back after all" she sighed to herself. she was currently making her way back to the agency since kunikida has been calling her nonstop. the megane has been whining about her missing work, while atsushi was simply begging her to come back to keep kunikida calm

on her way back, she passed a convenience store, which had an annoyingly huge amount of people bickering infront of it. 

"oya?" she mumbled 

"what's happening- eh?" she sweat dropped upon seeing yamamoto arguing with a man 

she looked around to meet eyes with kenma, who looked like he wanted to anywhere else but there. kuroo noticed her too and smirked at his friend. "your lady's here, kyanma" he teased 

kenma looked at her, a look of impatience and discomfort present in his face. 

"good evening, everyone!" she greeted loudly 

this caused all three of the nekoma boys, and three of the huge muscular men to look her way. 

"what seems to be the problem here?" she asked with a nonchalant grin 

"oi. walk away quietly before we give you some trouble, girl." the man arguing with yamamoto scowled 

she simply side eyed him before looking back at kenma. "ken-ken, whyre you out so late?" she asked with a smile "i thought you had a new game you wanted to play" 

"well.. they won't let us go." kenma answered quietly, pointing to the men with a frown

she faced the men with an exaggerated pout "why are you bastards causing my pudding trouble, hm?" she asked in a scolding tone 

"y/n-chan.. you shouldn't provoke them" kuroo said with a nervous smile 

"hah?! you tryna act tough, lil girl?" the men laughed "these scoundrels have been loitering in our spot." one man scowled "so we came to teach them a lesson." he grinned maniacly as he lifted the hem of his shirt, showing the gun inserted in his pocket. 

"good grief." she sighed "another angsty gang. this is getting old" she whined  "last time i checked, you didn't own this store so these boys are free to stay here whenever they want" she said 

"and carrying a gun without a liscense is a major offense." she pointed to his pocket. 

she then pushed kuroo, kenma and yamamoto away. "but since you're so hell bent. we'll spare you the trouble." 

"good riddance~" she cooed at the men 

she pushed the nekoma boys by their backs, urging them to walk faster while yamamoto looked back to flip them off. 

"oi oi oi,, not so fast" the men laughed. one of them tugged her back by her arm, laughing once he saw the bandages and the cuts she had on her face from her previous fight with chuuya. 

"a girl like you tryna act tough is laughable. but since you're here, you might as well play nice and be our little toy" 

she grimaced and pulled her arm back, sending them a dirty look. 

"after all, it's pay back for giving us all a headache." he said with a smirk 

"oi! get your filty hands off y/n-chan!" yamamoto exclaimed angrily 

she looked back at him and smiled in gratitude, though she simply tucked her hands in her pockets and ignored them. 

"im afraid i won't be agreeing to your request." she scoffed "we'll be leaving now" she announced as she grabbed yamamoto and pulled kuroo and kenma along 

"get back here, you bastards!" the most bulky man reached out, trying to grab one of them. 

unfortunately for him, the person he manged to grab was kenma. 

"h-hey!" kenma shrieked, trying to pull his arm back 

she stopped in her tracks and immediately ran back to his aid. she pulled his other arm back and shielded him with her body. "hands off." she said with a dark look in her eyes. 

"you little-" the man was cut off as a fist came contact with his face. 

a loud and unnerving cracking and popping of bones could be heard as her fist rammed on his face. 

"my, my.." she cooed, holding her hand up as she watched the man stumble back on the ground. "normally i'd say i'd hate for this to resort in violence.. "

"but that would be a lie" she chuckled 

kuroo, kenma, and yamamoto gulped as they watched the fight ensue. "y-y/n-chan, let's just leave." kuroo says nervously "the guys have guns" he warned 

"correction. one of them has a gun." she said 

the two remaining men laughed at her claim and pulled out guns of their own. "don't get so cocky, little girl" 

she simply ignored them and continued speaking to kuroo, as if it were a normal conversation. "those two blockheads don't have a single bullet in theirs." she said nonchalantly 

the two men gulped as they laughed nervously. 

"only an idiot would point a revolver at someone without a single presence of a bullet in them." she laughed 

"ah, sorry kuroo-san! another correction. none of them have a utile weapon in hand" she chuckled 

kuroo cocked his head in confusion. "then what about him.." he pointed to the man on the ground 

the poor fellow who had to take a gruesome hit was still on the ground, sporting a broken nose and a missing tooth. 

"you see, stuffing a gun in your pocket is pretty stupid!" she scoffed "stupid, stupid stupid!" she taunted. she stuck her tongue out at them and pulled on her eye, teasing them like a child. 

"it'd be easy for the other person to grab it." she said "that being said.." 

she showed them the gun, hanging on her finger by the trigger guard. she smirked and pointed it at the bruised man, ignoring the other two as her finger grazed the trigger. 

"now.. tell me, mister." she cooed "are you the leader of this gang?" she asked 

"y-yes." the man answered reluctantly 

surprisingly, she didn't pull the trigger on him, but simply smiled in delight. "i see!" she exclaimed with a smile "well then, since you're the top dog, i'd say you should tell your little puppies to run off and leave my friends alone!" 

"i-" 

before he could utter another word, she pulled the trigger. but she didn't shoot him of course! she refuses to expose her friends to such inhumane acts. 

"good! im glad to hear that!" she cheered happily, a stupid and giddy grin forming on her lips. 

she thew the gun in a nearby canal and stuffed her hands back in her pockets. "if i see you bothering anyone else again," she trailed off, her grin faltering as an aloof expression loomed her features 

"i'll punch you twice and shoot you five times." 

but as quickly as she it had disappeared, her smile once again came to light. "well then, it's getting late.. bye-bye!" she waved at them 

the men took this as a signal to run, which they did. 

the three nekoma boys looked at each other with a horrified and hesitant expression before looking back at her. 

"y/n..?" kenma called out 

she turned around, her aura softening as her (e/c) orbs clashed with his honey hued ones. 

"well then, let's head home?" she said to them 

"uh.. we were-" kuroo cut himself off by clearing his throat. "we were heading to the train station!" 

"perfect! should i walk you there?" she asked them "the agency is a few blocks down the station so it should be fine" 

"y-y/n-chan!" yamamoto exclaimed "hm?" she hummed back questioningly "marry me!" yamamoto exclaimed, his eyes wide with a pink hue coating his cheeks 

"sorry, yamamoto-kun" she cooed "but marriage is the farthest thing i have in mind at the moment" 

she glanced at kenma, who was too busy silently hissing and glaring at yamamoto to notice even her 

"i do, however, have our double suicide in mind, kenma-kun" she said. kenma stopped with his cat-like hissing and looked at her. "oh.. is that so.." 

"mhm. well then, you all should head back!" she said “but kenma, you should stay with me!" she proposed 

"why?" kenma sweatdropped 

"we could have loads of fun back in my place! you'll love that, won't you?" she asked excitedly. she hugged his arm close and rested her head on his shoulder, thus making walking a bit hard for them, but she didn't mind. 

"no." 

"aww! we could share the bed, and have-" 

"oya oya~" kuroo cooed "am i hearing this correctly~" 

"y/n-chan!! marry me instead! I'd love to stay at your place!" yamamoto cried 

"ke-n-ma~ what do you say?" she cooed, blatantly ignoring yamamoto. kenma grumbled and looked away from them. he tried to pull his arm away from her, but failed. 

"how are you guys acting so normally?" he asked "are we not gonna talk about y/n just beating up some guy and firing a gun?" 

"nope!" she hummed 

"what we will talk about, however, is my proposal of staying at my place!" she whined "i could please you all night long-" 

"im walking away now." kenma announced as he pulled his arm from her and fastened his pace 

"wait! i was talking about games and movies!" she reasoned out with a laugh "kenma!" 

"i am walking away. goodbye." 

im so bad at writing fights smh 😔

[darkmulti]

Hell Hole Final

incubus!Seonghwa and San x Female reader

⚠️Warnings: threesome, anal, rough sex, dacryphilia, somnophilia, sadism, degradation, choking, bondage, bdsm, overstimulation, spanking, slapping, spitting, fear kink, knife play (seonghwa goes crazy yall), oral (fem receiving), really aggressive smut, blood licking i guess, yall already know some kinky ass incubus shit, that was really requested for some reason , a little violence

THIS CONTAINS NON CONSENSUAL SEX! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Final

One and two on masterlist 

——————————————————————————

Currently, you were waiting for San’s arrival. Sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels, patiently waiting.

Your relationship with San was at its strongest point. You were treated like a princess every single day. San now had the biggest effect on you, every time you saw him your heart melted. He turned into such a nice and caring boyfriend.

While you were in ‘awe’ of your boyfriend, the demon standing behind you wasn’t very happy.

Seonghwa, was the one who found you and brought you back. But somehow you ended up with San. How was that fair? He was supposed to be the one to treat you like a princess and give all of his love.

Jealousy takes over the heartbroken demon and without fully thinking Seonghwa snatches you from behind and takes you to his house.

As soon you arrive, he knocks you out and brings you to his little sex dungeon. Harshly taking your limbs and tying them down on each corner on the bed, making you look like an ‘X’.

Seonghwa shoves in a vibrator into your unconscious body and leaves.

———

Meanwhile, San arrives home, only to be not greeted by his precious angel.

San starts calling your name and heads upstairs thinking that you’re gonna surprise him. But to his surprise, you weren’t there. Now he thought you were playing some cruel joke.

This was not normal for you to do. You would’ve already come out and greeted San already. San starts to panic and runs around the entire house looking for you. His eyes start to fill up with tears and his non existenting heart aches at the thought of losing you.

“Angel, stop playing it isn’t funny anymore! Y/N! Seriously stop!”

San stops in his tracks.

You weren’t at home anymore.

He thinks deeply, you’re still in hell and you can’t escape, which means someone must’ve taken you. Well that ‘someone’ will regret because no one touches his angel. San will kill them, even if they’re already dead.

————

“Seonghwa please!”

Seonghwa’s tongue flicked on your clit making you cum for the 10th time. Your body lurches up and you cry out feeling your clit on fire.

“Stop acting like you don’t love it whore. Just tell me that I can fuck you better then San and I’m the only one for you. Then it will all be over.”

He said it as if it wasn’t a big deal. You couldn’t leave San, you loved him.

“Y/N Y/N Y/N. You know what I absolutely hate? When people don’t obey me. Especially if they’re dumb, little girls like you. Saying that you love another demon while I stand here and listen. How do you think this makes me feel?”

Tears left the corner of your eyes and slid down.

“I-I-I’mmm s-s-s-sor-ry”

You were violently shaking, petrified of his presence.

A sharp noise comes from Seonghwa’s hand. You focus and see it’s a knife.

“No no no don’t kill me! I'll submit!”

You pleaded.

“Silly, dumb slut. Why would you think that I will do such a thing? I love you. By the end of this you would’ve submitted to me either way, so why not have a bit of fun? Try something new, yknow?”

Seonghwa comes closer and glides the shiny and sharp, six inch blade across your cheek, down to your throat and around your breast.

You tightly shut your eyes, not wanting to see, and Seonghwa slaps you across the face.

“Open your eyes and watch. How about… I make a little cut here below your belly button.”

Seonghwa puts the slightest force on the knife and easily cuts into you, but not too deep. You scream out and start to cry uncontrollably. You beg Seonghwa to stop but he responded with

“Why should I stop? I love you screams and cries and I FUCKING love that IM causing them. This will teach you that youre MINE AND I FUCKING OWN YOU, YOU COCK SUCKING CUM FUCK!”

He shouted at you and his eyes turned red.

You didn’t mumble a word. You just laid there, helplessly, praying for a miracle to happen.

Seonghwa threw the knife against the concrete wall, hard enough the knife plunged into it.

In a breath his clothes disappear and he gets on top of you. With absolutely no mercy he pounds into your sensitive pussy and you sob even harder. Your breath hitching with every thrust. His cock going fully out and slamming back into you.

Seonghwa unleashes the beast and his black horns make its way out. He was going to fuck you until you were mentally attached to him.

He started to thrust into you at an inhuman speed. You pull on your restraints, wanting out and crying rivers. Seonghwa then spits on you and slaps your face.

“Your tears are getting you nowhere, babygirl. They’re just getting me harder.”

He growled, now roughly pulling your throat and pounding harder into you.

“I’m gonna cum!”

You yelp as tears started to roll down your eyes again. Cum spits out of your pussy around his cock, and you lose all feeling in your lower half.

He pulls out of you, and smacks your thighs, then licks off the blood from your stomach.

“Your blood taste fucking delicious.”

The cut was stinging after he licked it. You hiss out in pain, and Seonghwa immediately heals the cut.

“There, now it’s gone and I can cut you again and again.”

A sadist smile places on his face. You didn’t even try to fight anymore. You couldn’t take down Seonghwa. That would be impossible.

You begin to lose yourself in your thoughts, until you notice a distressed Seonghwa. He was backing up towards the wall and San appeared out of nowhere.

San’s eyes were red and he pushed Seonghwa against the wall and started beating the shit out of the other male.

San then grabbed him by the throat and slammed his nude body against the wall, choking him.

“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KIDNAP MY GIRLFRIEND? WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO WITH HER?”

He yells out furiously, tightening his grip even more.

A sinister smirk laid on his face and he didn’t say a word.

San then let him go and went right to you.

“Baby are you okay? Oh look at you angel, I’m so sorry I didn’t find you earlier. Look at what he did to you.”

He rubs your cheeks looking at you with sorrowful eyes.

“SAN LOOKOUT!”

Seonghwa punches San in the face.

“Look at what she did to you little bro! You’re so soft for her. What happened to that cruel, sadist San in you huh? Are you too weak now? Because you fell in love?! We’re demons! Loves not meant for us, only sex! You’re breaking all these rules, and father will be mad at us! Look at her! She’s a dumb cunt.”

Seonghwa pushes San back, wanting to make him angry.

“Seonghwa stop!”

San growled and his eyes started to turn black.

“I’m not going to stop. This cock slut has broken us apart. Don’t you think she deserves a punishment?”

They both start walking towards you. Seonghwa’s eyes were red and San’s was pitch black.

Seonghwa gets on top of you and takes you again. In the corner of your eyes you see San trying to calm down. He looks up and you both make immediate eye contact and he walks toward you, stripping himself as well.

He kneels down gripping your throat and making you look at him.

“You like this huh? Fucking my older brother behind my back? How long have you been doing this slut?”

“Daddy no! I’ve never done it, he forced me! Please I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Seonghwa gives a quick lick on his fingers and slaps you across the face.

“She’s lying. We’re been fucking every week.”

“He’s lying San! I never did such a thing!”

Seonghwa picks up his pace and hits you gspot making you gasp up.

“Look at how good I’m making her feel. She’s shaking because of my cock San.”

Seonghwa leans down and licks your face. Afterward he opens your mouth and spits in it.

“See. She’s even swallowing my spit.”

You didn’t even swallow it. Instead you spit it back up, and try your best not to choke. A tight knot starts to form in your core and your climax hits. You quiver under seonghwa and cum once again.

San then gets up and pushes Seonghwa out of the way. He dips down and starts to eat you out.

You let out a scream of pain, and San started to suck on your clitoris and finger you. You squirm around, trying to find some pleasure, but you just couldn’t!

San stops and takes the restraints off your ankles.

“All fours now!”

You struggle to flip yourself over, because you can't feel your lower half. It was extremely sore. Seonghwa comes over and helps you out.

As soon as your ass was in front of San. He rammed into your asshole and spanks your ass.

You shiver at the sudden feeling. The hairs on your body go up and seonghwa crawls underneath you, sliding his cock into your pussy once again.

You start bawling your eyes out. You couldn’t take both of them. You struggle and pull on the ropes your hands were tied to.

Seonghwa smacks you face a couple of times and starts to kiss you lips and cheek.

The two demon cock were rubbing inside of you.

The demon below you takes the restraints off of your hands and San pulls you up. You uncontrollably start to move your hips on Seonghwas dick, riding him. San wraps his hands around you and makes you look back at him. He spits on your face and starts to lick you.

They were both so close. You felt their 9 inch dicks twitch inside you. The older demons dick, repeatedly thrusted in your gspot making you cum one last time.

The facial expression you held while cumming made both of them cum deep inside you.

“Ahhh, good girl, good girl, cum all over us.”

San whispers in your ears.

Seonghwa moves out the way and you collapse on the bed.

“I guess we can share her.”

San says bitterly.

“I’m glad we came to an agreement. Now she’s trapped in the hell hole with us.”

——————————————————————————

People seem to really like hell hole so I made a final part❣️ I originally wanted to kill Y/N for this last part but didn’t, bc I then realized she’s already sorta like.....dead. Anyways I hoped you enjoyed❣️

[brelione]

Feild Trip with a Rich Bitch (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Part Two

Mentions of drugs,Rafe being a bitch,swearing and blow torches :)

Also,Goddess Part Three will be up by Friday afternoon.If you would like to be tagged please let me know :)

He had always hated Pogues.Then he met you.

You worked at a car repair shop in The Cut.He had come in on his bike,well,he had walked the broken piece of shit to the shop.You were the only one working that day.He couldnt help but think you looked adorable with your long sleeve yellow shirt under dark blue overalls,a backwards red hat and at least six silver chains draped across your neck.You had been extremely focused,sitting indian style as you smoothed a weird bump on a car with a nail file. “So are you gonna stare at me or are you gonna tell me what youre doing here,pretty boy?”You asked,not taking your attention off the task at hand.He blinked,surprised by your carefree yet assertive tone. “Uhh...somethings wrong with my bike.”He mumbled,attempting to smooth out his hair.You let out a small laugh as you dragged a paint brush along the smooth metal,fixing the messy spot. “No shit.What’d you do to it?”You asked,spreading more paint across the metal.His face turned red as he glanced around the shop.

There were paintings across the walls,multiple tool boxes and a wall of paint swatches.There were six other cars parked,some of them with large dents,holes or scratches. “I drove it into a tree.”He mumbled.You nodded. “Magnificent job,pretty boy.How are you gonna have a bike as expensive as that one then drive it into a tree?”You asked.He just shrugged,hands in his pockets.You put your paintbrush down into a cup of water,pulling out a blowtorch from seemingly nowhere.The flame hovered above the paint,drying and hardening it.Once you were satisfied with the paint job you stood up,brushing off your pants.You still had the blowtorch in your hand,the potential weapon swinging next to your thigh as you walked towards Rafe. “You gotta put the kickstand down,pretty boy.”You reminded him,gesturing to the bike.He nodded. “Right.”He nodded,putting the kickstand down and turning the handlebars so it would lean on the metal rod.One of the tires seemed blown out,a straight hole through the seat and multiple scratches across the metal.He watched as you looked over it.

You pulled at one of your chains. “So are you going to tell me what actually happened?”You asked,crossing your arms over your chest.That caused him to look down at your chest and the bleach stains across the front of your overalls.You snapped your fingers to get his attention back to your eyes.He cleared his throat,looking back up at you. “So how much for the repairs?”He asked.You smirked. “Well...i’d say $150 but you’re an asshole so thats an additional $15 and you’re also ruining my day so that would be another $15.”You twirled one of your chains,looking into his blue eyes.He bit his tongue,glancing between you and his bike. “And whats the fee for you not to tell anyone youre keeping my bike here?”He asked.You ran the tip of your tongue along your teeth with a devil like smile.God,this boy had never been in this kind of situation before.You werent even gonna tell anyone in the first place.You could probably charge him hundreds of dollars for all the things he’s done and he wouldnt be able to do anything about it.You were the best repair woman on the island and anyone else would go straight to his dad.It was 11 in the morning.You had pulled an all nighter for the third time that week and you hadnt eaten yet.Plus,if you sent Rafe to the store he could buy the expensive shit.

 “Theres a store three blocks away.Youre gonna go there and buy everything on the list and youre not gonna question it.”You told him.His eyebrows furrowed as he watched you take a notepad out of your pocket along with a pen,jotting things down.You tore the paper off,folding it and handing it to him.He took it,frowning and confused. “Hurry up.”You told him.He nodded,no words or sounds escaping his lips as he left the garage and made his way down the street.He knew what store you were talking about,the one with the sleeping cat outside.It was awfully quiet as he walked.Most of the time all the exciting things happened at night,not 11 in the morning.Either that or all the pogues were hiding from him,his gelled hair and his ugly ass khakis.He unfolded the piece of paper,reading it.Three large lemons,two large monster energy drinks,a bag of doritos and a pack of gum.It was a strange request but he wasnt supposed to question it.He had kept his head down at the store,grabbing three of the largest lemons he saw,two random monster energy drinks,the doritos and three packs of gum.

He didnt know what kind of gum you liked but you probably had to like one of the three,right?When he got back you were using your blowtorch on a part of the bike you had painted. “Put the bag on the work table and touch nothing.”You spoke loudly,confidently.He found your confidence unbelievably attractive.He never let anyone boss him around like this but ther was just something about you.You held some sort of power over other pogues,he could tell that much by the few boneyard parties he’d gone too.The others were attracted to you,some of them held their breath as you walked by,others just kept their distance.He didnt know where such nice chains had come from.They looked like they had weight,indicating that they were real.He had carefully walked over to your work table,seeing multiple small jars of paint,brushes,metal sheets,files,nails,screws and your cell phone.It was a pretty old model.He set the bag down on an empty spot,watching as a notification came across your phone.Eighteen days sober!Log this milestone.He frowned.Sober from what?

He shook it off,walking back around to where you were with his bike. “I was worried that you’d set my bike on fire or something.”He spoke quietly,trying to make conversation.You glared up at him,eyebrows casting shadows over your irises. “What?Cause im a dirty pogue?”You asked.He shook his head frantically. “Thats not what I meant I-”He began to explain himself but you cut him off. “So because im fixing your bike im different?”You asked.He sighed. “I just meant because of the blowtorch-Im sorry.”He mumbled.You stood up,blowtorch in hand. “Know your place,rich bitch.Your bike will be done by three,save yourself the embarrassment and go home to your mansion.”Your voice was dripping in venom,eyes narrowing.He gulped. “I cant go back home without my bike,my dad will kill me.”He mumbled,looking down at you.You smirked. “Good.”You replied before kneeling down again by the bike,getting back to work. “God,could you stop staring at me?Go sit somewhere or sue a tree or some shit.”You huffed.He almost tripped over his own feet,finding a chair and sitting down.He tapped his food on the ground anxiously. “So um...how long have you been fixing cars?”He asked.

You slammed the blow torch down on the concrete. “Could you shut the fuck up?Please?”You asked.He bit his lip. “I dont like the silence.”He replied. “And I dont like loud noises.”You answered. “What are you sober from?”He asked.You sat there for a moment,eyes locked on the ground.You slowly stood up,walking towards him. “You went on my phone?”You asked.His mouth went dry and he was lost for words. “Rafe.”You snarled.He looked back up at you,beads of sweat collecting at his hairline. “I-the notification-I just saw it and I just-God,im sorry (Y/N).”He sighed,looking away from you.Your hand reached up,gripping his jaw and making him look at you. “Didnt I tell you to shut the fuck up?”You asked.He looked away from you,only looking back when your grip tightened. “Yeah.”He muttered. “And you’re gonna be good and shut that pretty mouth of yours,right?”You asked,squeezing harder on his flesh.He hummed. 

“Good.”You mumbled,taking your hand away and getting back to work.You could feel him staring at you,the way your fingers moved as you grabbed your tools.He understood now.He understood the pogues’ fear and admiration of you.He felt like one of them,caught up in your beauty and the way you carried yourself while simultaneously being slightly afraid of you.You walked past him,grabbing one of the monsters.You grabbed a knife from the table.He watched as you cut open the bottom of the energy drink and shot gunned it,wiping your mouth when you were done.You grabbed a lemon from the bag,cutting an end of it off.You pulled a container of a white powder,opening it and coating the lemon slice in it. “Dont stare at me like that.Its salt,nothing you can snort.”You grumbled,taking the slice out and placing it in your mouth.Your eyes didnt squint and your eyebrows didnt furrow at the taste. “You...you eat lemons in salt?”He asked.You pulled the lemon slice from your teeth,biting the salt coated fruit as it left your mouth. 

“I do.”You replied. “It helps with cravings.”You finished your thought,going to fix the bike seat.Rafe had sat on his phone until one in the afternoon when he heard someone come in. “You havent answered your phone,thought you were dead or something.”A deep voice said.Rafe heard you giggle. “Only on the inside,sunshine.I’m busy with work right now,tell the others ill be around by seven.”He heard the tone of your voice.Friendly,happy and almost excited. “Alright.Did you eat today?”The voice asked. “I had a lemon slice,ive got some doritos so dont worry too much.I’ll see you later.”You had told your friend. “Alright,sounds like a plan.”THe boys voice said before leaving.Rafe watched as you rolled a tire inside,replacing the one he had destroyed.Once you had replaced it you went back to the bag of goodies,cutting open the other monster.You chugged it,sighing as you stared up at the ceiling. “Why do you hate me so much?”Rafe asked suddenly.A smile tugged at your lips.

 “You beat up two of my boys,you come around starting shit and blaming it on us,you think youre just so fucking amazing when youre really just a bitch,you ran over my fucking mailbox,you drink and drive,you gave another one of my boys a fucking concussion and a scar and you wonder why I hate you?”You ranted,fists clenching.He just sat there,hands gripping the arms of the chair. “You just fuck things up.”You sighed.He licked his lips. “You sound like my dad.”He mumbled.You laughed. “Oh dont get me started on your dad.That bitch ruined my life.”You sighed,grabbing another lemon slice.He raised his eyebrows. “What?How?”He asked.You just giggled to yourself. “You really have no idea what your father has done to my family?No idea at all?”You asked.He shook his head.You just laughed again,the sound filling the air.It wasnt like the way you had giggled with your friend.It was empty and sarcastic,hiding anger that was building up inside of you. “You wanna go for a field trip,Rafe Cameron?”You asked.

[albino-whumpee]

An old thing 5

First

Continued from here

I´m quite proud of this part. Do you remember the Walmart man? Yeah. More angst and sick fic than whump, but there.

CW// Non Con, Dub Con, NS*W at times, dehumanization, slavery, human trafficking, escape attempt, blood, broken noses, implied death, regain of identity, whump of minors, manhandling, prong collar, past torture, creepy and explosive whumpers, physical and emotional abuse.

Everything will be tagged and if there´s tags to be added, tell me please.

Dimitri was speechless.

“Can you repeat that, please?” He said.

“You’re too close with Kit, we’re gonna send you to a vacation house. Dont worry about Roahn, you will see her when it’s the mounting” Layo said across the table. Kit and Danae were playing outside.

“Im…I…when?” He asked visibly stressed.

“Maybe on saturday. The vacation house is on the other side of the country, next to Sunnyhills Beach, I think you know whose property is it”

Dimitri knew.

His last master before them.

The one who had tried to kill him with the prongs collar.

“His son will be taking good care of you, so you better behave and do as he says understood? He wont accept escapes like us. You know his methods already anyways, you will know whats better for you” He said sipping on his coffee. “Ah, but you’re still ours. If he thinks he is entitled to damage you, He wont see the end of it”

“U-Understood…” Dimitri said still cleaning his plates. He had time. If he hurried up, maybe he could escape tomorrow. While they were on their cocktail party.

“I gotta believe I can do it” He told himself

—

Report came and Dimitri explained how he could the plan for the next day to Kit. How he would take him to that place.

“With Jen and Roahn?”

“Yes with them too” he smiled. “But you gotta tell me if they’re sleeping”

“Master was drinking a lot and Master was already asleep”

“Alright Kit. Ill show you something but you must not say anything ok?”

“Ok!”

He took out the improvised key from a vase and tainted the lock until he opened it.

“You could get out all this time?”

He sighed “No. Only on important moments. Now shhh” he put his finger on his mouth. “Come on Ill get you to your room but silence”

Kit put his lips together and followed him to his room. An spacious yet small little place with only the necessary and some toys. He was relieved he didnt live like them.

Dimitri put him to sleep.

“Goodnight Dimitri see you tomorrow?”

“Goodnight Kit. See you tomorrow” he said as he gave him a kiss on his forehead.

He closed the door silently.

Silent as a mouse, he went to his office. In all those years they had never guessed he had a key. So they had never bothered to lock the office. Dimitri knew perfectly where the copies were, but he knew keeping them would be too evident so he took them and made an improvised and quick copy of them with plaster.

He only needed to wait a few hours for it to harden.

He went as fast as he had gotten in but heard steps and hid quickly.

“Fuck…” Layo’s voice. He was going to the bathroom. And he would pass around the office for that.

Dimitri breathed quickly as he noticed. Was it that way he would end up? He took a stone decoration from a table and was ready to smash it on his head when he heard:

“Master? I can’t sleep!” Kit cried.

“What the…go to bed, Kit” the man said walking towards him.

“I can’t! Tell me a story! please, master!”

“Ugh what a pain is one am…Alright, Alright, coming go to your bed, Ill go take a piss before that…”

Dimitri held tight to the artifact.

“No!! Now!!”

“Argh! What a kid! Ok ok” he heard the door shutting.

Dimitri left the stone on its place and ran quietly to the cell. He closed it again and started working.

At 7 am it was ready. Later, Dimitri was preparing their masters for a full day outside when Layo said:

“Dont try anything funny Ok?” As he was locked up again. He had to hold the urge to laugh on his face.

“Understood”

Kit came running down a few minutes later.

“They’re gone!” He had told him.

Dimitri stood up. With backpacks on hand.

“Its time, Kit”

—

Dimitri got out of the cell and went upstairs. The house was empty. Or so it seemed.

“Kit” Dimitri held the boy’s small shoulders “I need you to go check on the door if there’s somebody. I’ll go get them ok? If theres someone dont scream it” he took the house phone and made it ring pressing a button “you do this and let the phone ring three times. Alright?”

The kid nodded. Dimitri gave him his binoculars back.

“Go see, explorer” he told him before the kid ran off.

He then made a little jump and sprinted towards the stairs. He went to the door where Roahn was and knocked three times. Her voice was husky.

“Dimitri?” She called

“Roahn, it’s me. We’ve gotta go. Now. Can you handle it?” He asked her through the door. A cough.

“Yeah” she said “always”

“We will take you to a doctor. I swear.” He said looking down and putting the keys on.

Roahn had been very sick for weeks. She couldnt give her enough milk and was very weak. Refusing to eat even. Miraculously, Jen was healthier than ever.

Finally the door opened and Roahn had her baby on her skinny arms. Eyebags dark in her face. Yet the light on her eyes were strong. He held her after giving her a hug.

“Lets go” he said as he helped her walk through the house. “Kit is waiting” that line made her sob happily.

“Our baby…” she said looking nowhere

They streamed downstairs, Roahn almost falling at various times due her legs not being able to move correctly. However Dimitri was there to hold her.

When they finally reached the kitchen Kit was waiting for them.

“Nobody on sight!” He said as if he was a sailor.

“Good” Dimitri told him “Kit, help Roahn out a bit would you?” He said putting her down to open the door. Kit sat besides Roahn and asked her if she was Alright to which she responded with a smile. Dimitri held the concrete key on his hand and inhaling deeply he unlocked the door.

The clicking sound of freedom was on his ears as if it was music.

-

The four of them stepped out of the house to the secondary door. Not before putting coats with hoodies that covered their faces. Then they ran. Quietly, agitatedly, desperately. The four of them reached the door withut problems.

There was no one apparently.

The door was in a vine wall. It was easy to pass through it because the key Dimitri had was a copy of the master key he used to buy groceries.

He held them down for a bit while he opened the door. It was the last thing.

The last.

When he opened the door he saw the street and a fist on his direction. A man in black suit punched him making him fall. Roahn and Kit immediately tried to run away from the man, but Dimitri, even when hazy due the pain, used a close by rock to knock the guy out by hitting his head. The man fell and Dimitri was alert to anybody else coming to try and stop them. But there was no one.

“Roahn!! Kit! Its ok!” He yelled with blood going down his nose. They went out of their hiding spot and went back to Dimitri.

“Are you ok?” Roahn said cleaning the blood off his face and stuffing his nose with tissues.

“Yes, we just need to go now” he told her holding her hand a second.

“Is he dead?” Kit asked without taking his eyes off the fallen man. Blood came out of his ears.

“No” Dimitri answered him taking the kid by his hand and running past the body “he’s just unconscious”

They ran and ran and ran until they were on a plaza with a supermarket and a pharmacy.

They were free.

“Now where?” Roahn asked him visibly tired.

Dimitri took a look at Roahn holding Jen like she was a precious stone. Impressively calm. Kit was amazed by everything he saw.

“Now…we take these off” he told her taking his hands to his neck. Feeling the belt like collar and undoing it. He took it out carefully and slowly. Holding it in his hands, Kit could see clearly the old scars on his neck. It grossed the kid to think about how he got such hideous scars.

Dimitri knelt down to Kit and took his collar off too. Kit felt lighter than usual and couldn’t hold the instinct to touch his now free neck.

Dimitri smiled a bit and ruffled his hair before doing the same to Roahn.

Roahn dropped a tear when she felt that lightness on her neck. They looked at each other’s eyes for a second but Roahn pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on his neck and then on his lips.

“Yikes” said Kit watching them. They looked at the kid and laughed.

“Sorry Kit” Dimitri laughed.

“What about looking around for a place to stay, hun?” Roahn asked sweating cold. “We’re tired and we will need to hide for a bit…” she said.

“You feeling ok, Ro?” He asked him cupping her face with his hands. She nodded slowly “We will take the bus to Keith City, I’ll go buy the tickets and have a doctor check on you there ok?”

“Ok” she said.

Suddenly Jen started revolving and slapping Roahn’s face.

“Hey hey what is it Jen?” She asked her. Kit moving towards her.

“Dont cry Jen! It will be alright!” The kid said.

“Is she hungry?” Dimitri asked. Roahn blushed in embarrassment.

“I cant… feed her. I need some baby milk powder. Do we have some?” She asked Dimitri.

He started to search but it was in vain and he knew it.

“Kit” the kid shoot his head up from trying to comfort the now crying baby “could you tell that man there where could we get an electric chair for Roahn?” He asked signaling a person with a supermarket uniform not that far away.

The kid ran to him and asked him. The man was almost a geezer but his smile was really bright.

“It’s for your mommy there? Is she alright?” He asked Kit.

“Eh…Roahn? I hope so…” the kid said unsettling the man a bit.

“Not your mom? Its your auntie then? You two look alike a lot” he said again pulling the electric chair to the woman.

“We-we do?” Kit said finding himself a question.

“Here it is lady. Everything alright? You look a bit pale ma’am” he said helping her get into the chair.

“Yes, sir” she answered him not conscious of her formality.

The man found the people on his view with a woman with baby on arms crying out loud, the many bags and the very attractive man with tissues on his nose very strange. But it was a walmart. He had seen all kind of people go there. So he just walked away.

They put some of the bags in the electric chair and the others on the package service. Then they entered the market. Dimitri was used to go so he wasn’t as excited as the others. Yet he couldn’t hide his happiness of not feeling that uncomfortable thing on his neck. It was now in the trash. They went through the isles calming the baby with a toy that hypnotized her long enough for them to look at everything. Kit was amazed. Asking questions about this and that. Roahn looked at the pharmacy isle where there should be a doctor with longing. Dimitri didnt notice as he was coming back with baby milk powder on his hands.

In the end they bought a few more things. Like the toy and a magazine for Kit. As well as painkillers. The cashier recognized him and greeted him “Good morning!” Dimitri greeted back. “Is that your family?” The teen asked looking at Kit showing Roahn an article from his magazine.

“Yes” he answered blushing.

“Your kid is very energetic” she remarked.

“He is!” He laughed a bit “excuse me, Lana, where would I get bus tickets? We’re going to Keith City to visit my wife’s sister, but my card doesnt seem to work now…”

“Oh! Here would be fine. Two adults and a kid right?”

Dimitri payed for the bus tickets that would depart in two hours and met Roahn and Kit.

Roahn was a bit uncomfortable to leave the chair, but they got a taxi to the bus station so she didnt have to walk any longer. She was now green.

“Everything alright ma’am?” The taxi driver asked her while Dimitri fed Jen.

“Y-yes, sir. No need to worry. Thank you” she answered.

Kit extended his bag of chips to her.

“Want one Roahn? You dont look good…” He said.

“Im alright Kit. Just tired, that’s all” she ruffled his hair. Kit pulling it down annoyed. “Ill be taking one, though” she said eating a chip slowly.

She rested her head On Dimitri’s shoulder who gave her a kiss on her forehead.

“Im not ok” she mumbled.

“We will get you a doctor there I promise” he whispered to her, giving her a kiss.

The rest of the way Kit talked with the driver asking him questions about his travels.

When they arrived at the bus station, they were good friends.

They got there just in time and went up the bus. It was a four hour ride, but all of them were exhausted and fell asleep as soon as the bus started moving.

Dimitri woke up an hour before getting there.

It was the first time he didn’t have a collar and walked around freely. It had been strange for him to book sits because of his lacking of last name. But he had come up with one last second.

His name was Dimitri Holberg.

Maybe it was made up, but he had an identity now. He wasn’t bee, yellow, dog or dildo.

He was a human being and his name was Dimitri Holberg.

He had a family and a mission to reunite them all.

With determination they arrived at Keith’s city.

[the-family-fortune]

So last night I asked my server for suggestions on the Galochio fic I’m working on. They were very helpful.

DaisyYesterday at 11:38 PM

how do u get rid of the main villain of a story............ without actually getting rid of them in any effective way?? like i dont want to be "and then he walked away and was never a problem again" because. thats dumb. but i need something to that effect.

Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:38 PM

u could kill him off

Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:40 PM

I need a little bit more information regarding plot before I can be of any help I think

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:42 PM

distract him with something else entirely?

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:42 PM

family emergency

turtleYesterday at 11:42 PM

Had a doctor’s appointment

SJ || gay theatre kidYesterday at 11:42 PM

eat him

sorry

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:42 PM

he gets sick and has to take a break

turtleYesterday at 11:42 PM

His magic fucked up and went to another dimension

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:43 PM

job pulls him to the complete opposite side of the world

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:43 PM

he took a cruise

turtleYesterday at 11:43 PM

He wanted a vacation

SJ || gay theatre kidYesterday at 11:43 PM

send him to brazil

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:43 PM

got a new phone and lost the protag's cell number

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:43 PM

he broke his teeth and needs to get that shit fixed cuz goddamn

DaisyYesterday at 11:44 PM

im SO glad i didnt give enough context in the first one these are all SUPERB. i did think abt killing him off in the final confrontation but i really dont want this 9 year old murdering her grandpa gjkfds. it COULD be an accident because his powers are big and unstable. 

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:44 PM

mild heart attack puts him out of commission for a while

Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:44 PM

goes to antarctica

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:44 PM

coma

DaisyYesterday at 11:44 PM

FUCK

GOES TO ANTARCTICA WINS. I HATE THAT, THANK YOU.

Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM

electrocution fucks up

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM

fjsjfjjs

Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM

he gets killed

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM

but he gets better

Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM

no?

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:45 PM

maybe the electrocution backfires and makes him bedridden for the rest of his life

Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM

yeah

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM

if he wants

DaisyYesterday at 11:45 PM

he gets killed, but he gets better.........

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM

it happens

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:45 PM

"better" means "more haunted"

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:46 PM

thank you

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:46 PM

ye I gotchu

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:46 PM

grandpa piss ghost

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:46 PM

send him to the moon

DaisyYesterday at 11:46 PM

he IS Like. ancient. he's ALREADY missing one leg. it would not take much to put him out of commission, but also he's a cockroach.

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:47 PM

dont send him to the moon....

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:47 PM

honestly the first thing that came to mind was despicable me

when they sent fucking vector to the moon

DaisyYesterday at 11:47 PM

portal 2 for me

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:47 PM

moons getting crowded

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:47 PM

how many antagonists have gotten stuck on the moon? holy shit?

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:48 PM

Usagi the moon bunny has a prison for antagonists

SmolMuffinYesterday at 11:48 PM

Alright gonna write a massive crossover of villains on the moon/j

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:48 PM

maybe just... make him cry and have a breakdown or something idk

he cant do shit if he's in bed all day like me

SmolMuffinYesterday at 11:49 PM

Also for a idea im not too sure

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:49 PM

he can cry on moontarctica

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:49 PM

Daisy if this is your psy oc I think you can get pretty absurd with it

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:49 PM

the moon: now with snow

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:49 PM

cold moon.....

that's how they keep the cheese fresh

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:50 PM

maybe just smack him with a newspaper

or pour concrete on him just leave his head above the surface or smth

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:50 PM

y'all are on the moon, meanwhile I've got him forever bedridden like Charlie Bucket's grandparents

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:50 PM

mood

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:51 PM

except grandpa Joe I mean

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:51 PM

dude what if like some sort of freak accident happens that just fucking snipes him and makes him useless

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:51 PM

that bed? It's on the moon now

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:51 PM

oh to be an old lady and sleep on the moon...

DaisyYesterday at 11:51 PM

it is the psy OC!!! her grandpa SUCKS and he's genuinely the worst person ive ever written and he wont!! DIE!!!

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:52 PM

oh.... oh my god..... to be Wallace from the Wallace and gromit go to the moon and have cheese and crackers.

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:52 PM

ghagfdka;gh

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:53 PM

maybe you can send him on a wild goose chase

for forever

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:53 PM

daisy heres what you do ok. you uhhhhh wait for him to die of old age naturally and see what his will says in an exciting will-reading scene

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:53 PM

just continuously give him red herrings

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:53 PM

imagine I put quotes around exciting

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:53 PM

give this man a macguffin, slap him on the back and say "go get em"

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:53 PM

red herrings? Why not a very fun destination???

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:54 PM

dude sell his soul to whatever sort of dark power there is for a single corn chip

bonk him on the head so hard he becomes a toddler again

uhhh

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:54 PM

what's that app that sends you on adventures based on what you wanna find?

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:54 PM

geocache?

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:54 PM

bonk him on the head in general

aye i've done those before those are fun

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:55 PM

Pokemon go??

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:55 PM

not geocache but close

hang on I saw a vid of it recently

Randonautica

Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:55 PM

I mean... if you just have them be fidgety about it for a while... there doesn’t necessarily need to be an explanation now that I think about it

A lot of things could happen to him once he’s out of their sight that they might not end up hearing about

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:56 PM

send him to the mariana trench

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:56 PM

he steps away and gets hit by a bus a la Mean Girls

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:56 PM

all of the above

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:57 PM

theres a bus in  the mariana trench?

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:57 PM

theres about to be

Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:57 PM

Pfft... he starts to walk away and quartermaster shows up, hitting him with the bus, and just turns to the kids and goes “bus is here”

DaisyYesterday at 11:57 PM

the most ambitious crossover of all time....

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:57 PM

snipe him so fucking hard that theres a crossover

dude just take his knees

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:57 PM

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:57 PM

like just take them off

un-velcro his knees

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM

FUCK

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:58 PM

GOD

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:58 PM

bus in the trench

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM

THERES THE FUCKING BUS

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:58 PM

DAMMIT

BUS IN THE TRENCH

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM

TRENCHBUS GOTTEM

DaisyYesterday at 11:58 PM

well "bus in the mariana trench'' has clearly already been done >:T

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:58 PM

damn yeah

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM

make it a mack truck

DaisyYesterday at 11:58 PM

nothings original these days

Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:59 PM

original trench vehicle do not steal

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:59 PM

give him a "mid-life" crisis and make him go soul searching or something

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:59 PM

exactly! you can use mariana trench bus

Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:59 PM

Ok, but back to serious answers: they could possibly read in the newspaper about him being arrested for something seemingly unrelated but that they and the readers may be able to connect the dots to some sinister thing he was attempting to do to them somehow?

Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:59 PM

he gets sniped byh miss frizzle eastAugust 17, 2020

DaisyToday at 12:00 AM

OH WAIT FUCK UR RIGHT

THE WHOLE 

yall.

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:00 AM

let him realize that the most important lesson here is friendship

DaisyToday at 12:00 AM

im so fucking stupid

the WHOLE STORY. IS ABOUT HOW HES BEING INVESTIGATED BY THE PSYCHIC FBI

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:00 AM

friendship saves the day....

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaToday at 12:00 AM

theres only one braincell in this server its okay we're all just taking turns with it

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:00 AM

GHHGHAHG;GHRR

Sabrina || chasergirlToday at 12:00 AM

LMFAO

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:00 AM

THEY GOTTEM

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:01 AM

FBI stands for Friendship Bureau of Investigation

DaisyToday at 12:01 AM

i was SO FOCUSED ON THE END SCENE I FORGOT IT WAS CONNECTED TO A STORY........

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:01 AM

LAYS IS THE TRENCHBUS DRIVER

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:01 AM

uwu

Sabrina || chasergirlToday at 12:01 AM

“How do I eliminate this character being pursued by the fbi?” “My first option is to have him be murdered by children but I’d prefer not to have to resort to that”

I love it

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:01 AM

ngfdk;sgkfag;f

we all out here trying to play cabin in the woods with this old man

DaisyToday at 12:02 AM

never once did i claim to be clever

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:02 AM

and he would've gotten away with it too if it wasnt for this meddling government agency

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:03 AM

thus ends the saga of grandpa piss

DaisyToday at 12:03 AM

i am going to CRY this has been an adventure holy SHIT

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:04 AM

he sure did go a lot of places

spry old fucker

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:04 AM

I wonder how many trench buses he had to wait for

DaisyToday at 12:04 AM

you'd think at like 89 with one good leg he wouldn't get around as much but here we are

Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:05 AM

he was probably rolling around in that bed 8T

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:05 AM

you can go anywhere with a bus pass and a sense of adventure

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaToday at 12:05 AM

can we make that zero good legs? i have a nice crowbar right here i can use

DaisyToday at 12:05 AM

BE MY GUEST

Blaze || not-quite-cocoaToday at 12:05 AM

im gonna put this man in a walmart scooter

kiss your knees goodbye

Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:06 AM

(dont stop tho he has more trenchbuses to get hit by)

Theo || teddy assigned mormonToday at 12:08 AM

[gustingirl]

Soft Bias Tag

tagged by the lovely @allymemes19 ily babe

so i have like a thousand biases but suga was my very first one so i will go with him :)

*Who is your bias?

Suga, Min Yoongi, Agust D, Min Suga Genius Jjang Jjang man Bboong Bboong :)

*What made you notice him?

he was just so different from the rest idk he seemed so mysterious while the rest of the boys were all smiles and giggles suga seemed like an enigma and i liked that

*What’s your favorite thing about him?

probably his personality and his way of thinking but in reality i just love everything about him (i dont want to make this so long so im being short and concrete if u wanna talk about him or bts just dm me its gonna be easier)

*Who would initiate skinship more?

between us? definitely me. im a huge fan of skinship if u meet me irl i love hugging and cuddling and all and suga is like the complete opposite with people he doesnt know much so definitely i would initiate skinship lol

*Who would hog the blankets more?

oh i dont think one would hog the blankets more i believe we would share idk like i dont use much blankets with a big one im cool and idk i see him as someone who wouldnt make such a big deal about it probably just chill and share (bish i would die if i share a blanket w the min yoongi)

*Who would be more clingy? 

THAT BE ME, MOM not because of yoongi but because i am the human personification of clinginess lmao

*Who would say “I love you” first?

oh u killed me there i have no idea i dont tend to say i love you much so i am lost here maybe him? idk

*Who would be more easily flustered?

i am basing all these answers more on my personality than on him bc honestly i dont know him so for this one i would say me because i get flustered easily by anything people tell me lmao so even if he says hi i would be a crying mess on the floor (I AM GOING TO SCARE SUGA IF I ACT LIKE THIS LMAO)

*What cuddling position would you two have?

i like those cuddles where like one has their head on the other’s chest and the other is stroking their hair so i want that lmao i would totally stroke his hair while he is resting from a tiring day ok anto is picturing this way too much chill, woman

*What colors remind you of them and why?

any pastel color because his hair colors where (until now) all light colors like mint, grey, blonde, etc

*Which season would you like to spend with them?

a rainy autumn being lazy in bed ok i am picturing this waaaaay too much lmao

*Who would bake the cookie and who would steal the batter?

chances are we would buy cookies at the grocery store and eat them together bc if i bake something i poison him i dont cook a t  a l l

*Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

look, my friends dont call me Jin for anything. I make the WORST jokes AND i laugh at them, so suga would look at me with the most serious face in the world and internally would be questioning himself why is he with me lmao

*Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

ME I WANT A 100 PETS YES

*Which one of you would nearly burn the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

i am burning, and he would probably be burning with me. or rescuing me. or laughing in my face. or all of the above

*Who likes to lean over railings and who pulls them back?

i think none of us would do that but if i have to say someone probably i would lean and he would laugh then pull me back :)

*What would watching a horror film with them be like?

so yoongi likes chucky and i fucking hate horror films...let’s say i would cry from the beginning to the end and he would either cuddle me or tell me to stop acting like a baby smh

*Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i am the cheesiest person when it comes to flirting or just giving compliments so that would be me and i feel like suga would be both bc we are picturing i am his girlfriend and i bet yoongi without cameras on is the softest person ever but since i am not smooth at all i just believe he would be both idk

*Who is more competitive?

he seems pretty chill, and i am not much competitive only w some things so idk neither of us

*Who would be given constant reminders? (Don’t forget your keys, etc)

i would probably ask him to remind me these stuff bc i dont want to forget :)

*Who sends memes and who sends cute “I miss you” at 3am?

bitch he sends me smth at 3am and i am not replying until next day but honestly idk both of us depending our mood lol

ooff i did this ok im tagging @bubblegumprincess95 (this will distract you a lot so do it), @keni-da-kuala (you better do this), @junghoeseokiemain (omg pls w your writing skills this will be a bomb), @florenceisnottrash, @wazurenaide (take your time doing it dont worry), @bt-suga, @namjin-vkook0t7 (if u want)

[prophet-rebellion]

This is a bit of what went down is GS but is by no means every golden highlight I can think of, just got too long

Omfg, alright, so I just took an instant run down memory lane and now it’s STORY TIME. As some current information, I would still be in girl scouts right now had my troop not gotten disbanded. But uhhhhh, it did so there ended my “been doing this shit since kindergarten”

I could have joined one of the other local troops, but whenever we had more than my troop I usually wanted to hit a kid. I did not like kids from other troops and on more than one occasion this led to almost a brawl-- I had a hard enough time not decking my own troop members every week because they were all younger than me save for the leaders daughter (a few months older) and I had anger issues big time, my sisters usually hit the damn nail. (Save for this one really cute girl who was maybe a year older than me??? We were in a parade with her troop and she was cute. But we’ll get to why my mom and troop leader almost killed us all that night in a second.)

So we’ll start of the minor bs first. Now, my first year as a gs was spent with a different troop, there were 3 of us. So when that broke off I found a girl whose mom ran one and I joined. Automatically this was a much larger troop and much more rowdy so I should have seen something coming from the get-go, but no.

Now, the girl I had befriended was named C.C., she was the oldest of her own siblings, and to be perfectly honest, had I not been trapped in gs with her for years, I can safely say our relationship would probably be a lot more hostile, if we even knew each other. However, on more than one occasion over the years our pride got in our way as the two oldest girls in the troop and this lead to a few issues. I was gonna try to go in order but uhhhh, screw it. At one point we went camping and fucking uh, we got into a fight and she threw a fucking lamp at my head and then I tried to fucking jump her. We made up fast, but we broke the lamp and screwed a few other things up.

Also, our troop was really big on like, camping (but this site gave you everything so I mean????) and it used to be that all the adults could come on the trip and when they did they would have this special milk carton and it was the “grown up milk” and they told it was like, goat milk or 2% and we didn’t want any of that shit. So no way there. Yeah, as me and C.C. got older we realized they were drinking after most all of us were in the cabins asleep (these were not gs designated camp grounds, they were public places they did this). Just getting shit faced. Which led to them like, banning all adults except the troop leaders eventually.

Also, our secondary troop leader had this thing where she would like, moon people. And she thought this was the greatest god damn thing because she was, in her own words, “no way a small lady, so it’s a ‘bright’ full moon.” NONE OF US WERE SAFE. NONE!! She mooned every one of us, typically more than once. One time in public and we quickly scurried away from the cop that rounded the corner (running from cops happens on the down low more than once to us).

However, people outside the troop were never safe either. I brought my ex boyfriend along on a trip when were still together a few years back. It was around Christmas, the troop leaders kids didn’t want to go to the drive in show so there was space for him in the van. The only reason he came with is because his mom locked him out of his house while she was gone (a lie, his sister was home, he just wanted to hang around me more.) I warned him, WARNED HIM, that if I said turn around to do as I say, no questions asked, as fast as you register it. But god fucking forbid he listen to me. So, we went to the light show, I had my first kiss (regrettably) in a cramped van with my gs troop while no one was fucking looking. And this kept up!! A lot!! So when we got back to the house the two of us were outside and he kept trying to kiss me! and I told him it was a dumb idea, bad timing. So as soon as I pull back again the girls just burst the fuck onto the porch and just dumb popcorn on us. The secondary leader had thought this would be funny, I did not. And in a rage (anger issues, again) went into the house where they were losing in and im covered in popcorn, it’s everywhere on me, in my clothes, and I had to stop kissing my bf. So yeah, I was angry and flipped the hat off my mom head before storming back outside. Only moments later to hear the door open as I stood talking to him. The second my secondary leader stepped out and I saw the look on her face I whipped around where I stood and told him to do the same. Did he listen? No. (It’s fine, it was early punishment by the universe and I thank them.)

But those of us in the troop had it worse. Like, okay, the winter previously (I think it was before, maybe like 2 before??) we decided we wanted to go on the polar express. And it’s a Christmas only kind of deal so we racked up the money and went to go take the ride. Now first off- they told us there was unlimited hot chocolate. They were wrong. My troop kept getting more and eventually our car ran out for at least a bit. Second, there are still videos of the crew leading a ton of us down the isle doing like, some line dance thing/activity? Now, as far as the mooning goes. Oof. So, there’s of course curves on this train ride, we live in the mountains. And before we came up to one we didn’t see, our secondary leader stood up and mooned the two girls from our troop beside her!! I think they were being assholes but nothing was justifiable for what happened next. We hit the curve, and these two girls get there faces mushed against the window by the “full moon.”  To this day I feel sorry for these two.

I also scared the Santa who came around asking us what we wanted for Christmas because I very enthusiastically yelled “Soul Eater!”

Okay, so like, I’ve already forgotten a lot of what I was going to say!! But!! Girl Scout camping trips. Like, for actual ranks. Gods, the last one I ever went for was  a Cadet. Not the point, point is I should have had my gay awakening earlier, and I’m sure I did, I’m just fucking dumb met some hella people there. So aside from the fact I can never forget because I raced C.C. into a subways before going to a camp out, bit the dust, and now have a scar on my knee from eating concrete. Not the point though!! I went on one and when we got there we were put into the coldest, oldest, most run down site there. Further from everything else. We had gone a for the past few years, but this was the first that was a Cadet only deal for me and C.C. And automatically our neighbors are these chill girls!! They were cool. They were very social and I warmed up to them pretty quickly. There were 4 of them: Monkey (loved getting up into the rafters), Loud Mouth (Loudest and certainly the most out going), Katniss (loved the series), and No-name (Last day she decided on SugarHead).

I got closer to Loud Mouth more than any of the others and she did some bs, if was fucking hilarious. Also learned to never, never play truth or dare with them because it will go to hell, every time. There were so may cute people though!! So!! MANY!! But yeah, so we all picked our camp names. Mine still makes me cringe and I’m glad Loud Mouth just called me a nickname variation of it.

But uh, there was one girl I used to chat Soul Eater with, we exchanged numbers after camp but eventually we lost touch because I suck ass at communication and my phone got destroyed so I lost her number (same with another girl I used to talk to). There was also another camper named Cyprus. I thought it was a fake name but apparently not?? I loved her name. I met her when we I showed up to make a Harry Potter broom. A little late becuase again, furthest camp site from anyone, but for the most part we hit it off well at first, didn’t talk much at all the last day though. But it’s such an odd name,  and because all the campers were local, a few years back there was a girl at a con who could have been her from the vague memory I had and her friend goes “Hey Cyprus, look at this” and I just whipped around and worked up the nerve to ask if it was. It was not, but it was worth the ask.

Okay this went from like, borderline illegal to gay so one more thing-- the parade girl-- and we’re good. Because this if long as shit right now.

So my troop was in the parade every year, without fail we were in most of them at least. But we never, never missed being in the Christmas parade (god, for one year I just wanted to watch the damn thing, but no, we just had to be in it). So at some point in the year we decided to invite another local troop on with us, and of course I wasn’t the happiest about it. Until I got there and there was a hella cute girl there!! Like!! Hell yeah!! How the fuck did I think I was straight, this is just painful to relive all my gay ass moments in gs But the point is that it was cold as fuck for them and I’m a living ass heater, but I was not going to pas up hot food. Se we took off running, me, C.C. and this other girl, past our float and past a few others to get free hot apple cider. My mom was pissed but it;s hard to take her seriously when shes dressed like an elf. Next, we finish our cider and then up ahead we see a funnel cake car and we just lost it and take off yet again. We had enough money to get like two but before we could by any nice hot fluffy fc we were chased away by my mother and troop leader who were livid. But it was worth it.

But yeah, I loved gs, even when I grew away from it at the end. Didn’t realize I’d miss it as much as I did once we were disbanded by the council. But the shenanigans we got up to in the church that we met in the last few years were wonderful. I swear it’s fucking haunted though. I also feel asleep in the hallway one time texting my ex during a meeting. They just kinda left me. The secondary leader knew I wasn’t as interested in what she was getting the younger kids to do, and since the primary leader didn’t show up a lot over the last year I was allowed to just kind of chill in the kitchen with her while she made snacks. I was mostly the taste tester and ranted to her a lot about things.

Y’ALL STILL CATCH ME READY TO THROW HANDS WITH PEOPLE OVER COOKIES THO. LIKE, ALL THIS GS COOKIE FLAVORED SHIT HIT OUR SALES HARD IN OUR AREA AND WE HAD TO UP THE PRICE AGAIN, WHICH HIT US HARDER. I’LL STILL THROW DOWN OVER THAT. I am very, very passionate about cookie sells no matter how much I hated them.

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

These little kids were there he said they were his kids I asked a lot of questions.

He said he wouldn't do that kinda shit to them. Unless they were mean. Or disobeyed.

So he kept them to make us want to have kids. Psychology make us want to drop eggs in case punching us in our hips didn't help

Punching so hard to break bones.

Excuse me. They picked up Sam and they aren't doing it right **smash his hips with a sledge hammer repeatedly I don't care what it looks like. I don't care if its gel. Keep hitting it I don't care if it splatters put on a face guard. Keep smashing until he's dead***

Thank you.

So anyway.

There was 9 people that attended to me personally. 6 we killed that day and 3 got away. Sam Cooke was picked up today after i ate at the restaurant

I haven't been in there since 2001 on my own. Since it happened that June when i responded to a waitress ad in the newspaper.

The CIA. My brother, also made in a Petri dish like me, finally found me and began killing and handed me a gun telling me to show him where I been kept.

The kids would play outside my room which is now a meat locker and I would yell help and they would go in and drive cars on my body and play dolls on my legs. It made me feel better they were safer. I could see they were okay and well. No bruising and using imagination.

Silent play, mostly but still play. That's the only time I could sleep. When they were in the room with me. I knew they were safe and not being threatened or tortured mentally. And were pretty much on their own. Sometimes I would wake up and find them crashed out on the floor asleep, too.

No one ever had the kids sleep in their floor, but me. Just me I was told with laughter. I said "no! I like it! I could probably get more kids this way! Please leave them in here a lot with me!"

Finally, they thought, I was cooperating. I wasn't. I was trying to find a way out for all of us. And they knew the way out. I could trust them but i couldn't betray their safety and ask straight out. I would have to wait a while, I would have to gain the trust of the adults to have them with me. The weakest and littlest ones the most

I saw there was a store across the street from us, when I was allowed upstairs. If i could run across the street fast enough, if they didn't wiggle enough... Problem was it was gravel through the long dark parking lot and I was only allowed up at night.. Last night I krept to the door... I gently pushed against it. To my surprise, it opened. I imagined walking out and away. I couldn't leave those kids, but i had To see how the ground felt. I only weighed 220 all muscle but woth two extra kids under each arm and running hard it would hurt so i had to be able to hold at least my own feet.

So i stepped out. Problem was it was concrete. It had been 6 days I wished i had been watching the moon. I just had been watching the dark and the doctors and how tired I was and how much I had eaten. I had asked if i had skipped any meals and they had said no it wasn't allowed.

The oldest girl and boy came to the door and said it wasn't allowed i had to go back inside. The doctor came for the pregnant ones and that was why the door was unlocked they had let me up not them to see where they slept and they were gonna get in trouble and I asked didn't they ever go out and they said sometimes and said come on to the others and lets go outside not to sleep just to feel the air like i had said.

So we played a little game of run around the lot to see how our feet felt then limped back in. Just 6 feet from the door. And i jumped for extra measure so did the kids. Then i said hurry lets go back in so we don't get into trouble!

I didn't know we were being watched by my real family or that they didn't know what was going on inside. Or that I hadn't just made new friends at some hang out... Maybe getting high and drunk for fun. That i was being held hostage against my will and that night I was trying to plan how to escape and how to help these poor babies escape either

I wish they had. Because it was three days more..,

For three days I walked on broken glass, broken toys, all kinds of things to tear up my feet to gain calluses. I figured it would be a month or more. Unfortunately I had an ultrasound the next day and they saw the damage, i hadn't thought of that... And he said "that's why we don't let you women walk around. Where did you get the broken glass from? Did you clean it up?"

I felt a stabbing pain in my chest "if you cared that much youd care more about my broken heart than ny feet!"

Mother fucking Dan finally looked at my goddam face instead of trying to hide his. "Sabrina?!?!?! Oh no! IDK you!" Completed the ultrasound on my heart ran out the room and said "oh no its Sabrina! Oh no its Sabrina!" And ran screaming down the hall. Really Dan it was only the 5th ultrasound youd done on my womb.

And after you told Sam Cooke to break my fucking hips. With his stupid fucking fists. Even still it took my brother shooting some bitch in the guts when I was allowed to walk upstairs in daylight to see the kids.

My brother pulled a gun so fast I barely could whisper gun for the kids before the guy was down and dead. Shot in the hip then face.

The boys jumped up in front of the girls to protect their future wombs. My 2nd waitress today grabbed my left calf and wouldn't let go. After seeing the guy was dead my 1st waitress grabbed my right calf and I laughed and she said "I know it just made me felt better"

"Come on girls! She's got to go! Lock the door! We got more to shoot!" I got grins from all the children. And a gun from my brother.

"Don't worry. We've done this before. I shot the dicks off all these prostitutes -- well they wish they were. They were rapists. No one would pay them for the sex!"

"Yoire a cop?!" Said my chef for today

"No! She just wishes! She just shoots people! Come on lil sis! She's littler than me although im small you know why? Because im old!"

"And you wanna brag?" I joked

The kids asked if they could go and we all gave them and each other proper hugs and kisses and went down and shot the rest. But before we did he heard the same cries for help i did. I told him "no, don't answer they're alone and lets kill the bad guys first before yo7 end up like I did!"

So over at Greg's BBQ in Belen they got great food recipied up by Bob.

And these great kids I put in an extra 3 days for run the joint.

They asked me "Sabrina what do you want with these kids?"

"Let them stay. This is the only home they've known and you know what happened when you messed in my life with DNA to find my next of kin. Their mothers likely don't know what to do with them and if I know their fathers the safest place is with each other and they can take care of themselves. Let then get the money out of this place to pay for their needs and put the rest back into the restaurant. Let them stay. Let the CIA take care of them like they did me. But better. Let them be actual kids"

And as far as I know, they did get to be kids.

So y'all go on down. They are having outdoor eating and have a notice for defying the governor's orders up

But I saw the children all wearing masks and seating me outdoors and all other orders being take out.

The only person not wearing a mask was Sam Cooke. Whom I had picked up for breaking the law.

And they had AMAZING GREAT food and perfect service.

Sam Cooke is so bad that he text Nathaniel that I left and Nathaniel called me to see if I was okay. Y'all all will be safer now.

[clonerightsagenda]

Posting Gill’s bday fic over here with permission. It’s Rosemary-related and TLC compliant (with a couple of minor spoilers) but should be understandable even with no knowledge of the AU.

This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect any room to fill up with clutter in her presence. Your attempts to keep things tidy are as effective as holding back the tide. Expect everything to take on the feel of an epic, like you might be summoned onto a world-altering quest at a moment’s notice. It’s like a human fairy tale, but the old kind, not remakes that are all glitter and talking animals. The stories with teeth.

Don’t expect her to say that she loves you.

Don’t take it personally either. That’s what you remind yourself. Rose resists sincerity. When you presented her with the first flowers you’d grown in the new greenhouse (roses; you’d been delighted to learn she’d been named for a flower), she’d laughed uncertainly like you’d unlocked an event she didn’t have a script for. Over the next week, as the blooms withered, they moved around. First you spotted them on the windowsill, then on her bedside table, in this vase or that one, like she couldn’t figure out what place they had in her life.

On the Land of Rays and Frogs, you encountered a puzzle path made of colored lily pads. If you stepped on the wrong one, it would buckle and deposit you in a mini-boss chamber before you returned to the start, weary and wiser. Navigating this relationship feels much the same. Some of your missteps now are the inevitable outcome of two species still learning about each other, but not all of them. After reading Rose’s walkthrough, you’d daydreamed of meeting its author. Now you think you need a walkthrough for her too.

The day after your tumultuous first date, Rose dumped her concoctions down the drain, saying she could embarrass herself perfectly well without the aid of depressants. Not even a week later, she set the equipment up again.

“It might come in handy for medicinal purposes,” she said when you asked her why she’d changed her mind. “Besides, it wasn’t all bad.” She winked. “We got some mileage out of it.”

You blushed, and your rainbow drinker glow briefly flared before you wrestled it under control again. In the first few weeks you hadn’t known how the rules changed when you moved from unofficial to official. Where did you put your eyes, or your hands? What were you allowed to say? “It did make you more forward.”

She laughed, and from the sharpness on her breath you realized she’d already been sampling her experiments. “I can be so fucking uptight sometimes. Maybe we all need to lighten up. Lighten up. Get it?”

“I get it,” you said. But you didn’t.

So you sought clarification from Dave. After you quested through the meteor, lipstick at the ready in case of clown sightings, you found him topside staring back the way you’d come. At the beginning of your journey, you’d taken turns stationing yourselves there, afraid Jack would catch up and resume his rampage when you least expected it. When he didn’t make an appearance, you’d all let your guards down, reducing sentry duty to a quick backward glance now and then. Was he keeping watch for Lord English now?

“Are you watching for Jack?” you asked.

He jumped and tried to cover it with a miniscule adjustment to his cape. “Nah. Watching Skeletor blast everyone to bits.”

“You and Rose have been up here a lot recently.”

“We both came up after the first killing, you know? It was so loud.” He rubbed at his eyes underneath his shades. His skin is a few shades lighter than his sibling’s, and you could see shadows there. “It’s been hard to sleep since then. At least she’s found a way to conk out.”

“About her newfound use of soporifics.” You hesitated, staring up at the flashing lights that were already becoming familiar. It’s amazing how fast you accustom yourselves to the unthinkable. “Is that normal for humans?”

He frowned. (Later, he’d tell you he hadn’t been sure how to respond. “I didn’t want to fuck it up for you two,” he said. “I didn’t think it’d get that bad.”) “Hard to say what’s normal in our situation. Guess a lot of people would pull out a bottle after everything we’ve gone through. Better than sticking a forty-five in your mouth. She’s always been extreme about reacting to things. It’s hard to believe we’re the same damn species sometimes, let alone siblings.”

“I didn’t think an outing with me is so terrible you have to be out of your wits to enjoy it.” You didn’t mean to sound petulant, but his eyebrows rose.

“She doesn’t mean it like that.”

“I thought you didn’t understand her.”

“It would take an institutional thinktank to really figure her out, but I do a little.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. He does that when he’s being serious sometimes. “I think the whole thing freaked her out. Freaks her out, present tense, if you’re officially an item now. Congrats, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

Another spiderweb of cracks blossomed above your heads. You could see them reflected in Dave’s shades as he said, “I don’t think she trusts anyone being nice to her 100%, that’s all. Not even me.”

Rose has been clean for months now in human terms. You both have. The first few weeks of your victory were spent dealing with the effects of abandoning your substances of choice. You stumbled around feeling as if you’d been dipped in concrete, your movements and thoughts slow and ponderous. Rose went days without sleep and flinched away from things the rest of you couldn’t see. Roxy warned you of what to expect, since she’d gone through the process before. She’s also the one who told you to remind Rose to eat. “She’s not gonna want to,” she said. “You feel gross all over and the last thing you want to do is stick more shit in your body, but if you don’t eat you’ll just feel crummier.”

You’d noticed her drinking her meals before, but you’d never brought it up beyond meaningful glances or the pointed placement of foodstuffs in her respiteblock. Rose has always been good at dodging questions. “Do you have any suggestions for a strategic approach? She’ll try to deflect me with witticisms. Her barbs are floppy at the edges right now, but my defenses are equally compromised.”

“That’s a cute way of saying you’re both fucked up.” Roxy shrugged. “I can’t beat her in a war of words, and I wouldn’t try. My advice? Sit on her and force feed her Saltines while telling her it’s for her own good.”

You had been skipping meals yourself. Even after eating normal food, you still felt hungry. Your system wanted something else to satisfy it, so what was the point? Rose latched on to that hypocrisy when you tried to nag her, so you’d end up sitting across the table from each other with plates of leftovers cold from the fridge, matching each other mouthful for mouthful. Whatever worked.

The worst of that is past now. But sometimes she still behaves in ways that make you wonder if after all these sweeps she really trusts you.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- GA: Jade GA: Shes Doing It Again GG: whos doing what? :o GA: You Know Who GA: Who Else Do I Come To You In Search Of Explanations For Their Inexplicable Habits GA: Show Some Space Player Solidarity Here GA: There Are So Few Of Us Who View Common Sense As Part Of A Complete Breakfast GG: for everyone else its an optional granola to sprinkle on top GA: The Recipe Said Season To Taste And Im Afraid Theres A Serious Lack Of That In The Premises GA: Ok Can We Cut The Extended Cooking Metaphor Out GG: yeah, it was getting a little meanspirited GA: That Too I Guess Mostly I Didnt Want To Get Stuck Exchanging Culinary Puns GG: ok, what terrible thing is rose doing now GA: She Has Locked Herself In Her Room And Has Been Listening To Her Playlist Designated For Angst For Three Hours GG: lol GG: that behavior cannot stand! GG: except it sort of can, since we all have a right to privacy GG: even if we exercise that right by listening to sad music all day GG: these things cannot be revoked for bad taste GA: Actually Most Of It Has Been Pretty Good GA: Filtering Through The Door Gives It Nice Acoustics GG: maybe you need to give her some... space :D :D :D GA: I Just Want To Know What Upset Her GA: She Says It Wasnt Me But I Dont Know If That Means It Wasnt Me Or It Was Me And I Am Expected To Work That Out On My Own GA: A Reassessment Of The Past Few Days Activities Hasnt Turned Up Anything Suspicious GG: i cant think of anything that might have upset her... GG: ohhhhhhhhhh GG: i think its her moms birthday GG: that might be it GA: How Did You Know GA: Is That Supposed To Be Common Knowledge GG: she complained one time about having to go to a fancy dinner GG: something thrown by her moms colleagues i think??? GG: her mom made her dress up in something frilly, she said she felt like an american girl doll GG: to be honest she sent a picture and i thought it was a cute dress!! GG: definitely not her style though GA: Im Impressed You Remember GG: i try to keep track of these things GG: it was nice hearing about everyones lives, i always wished I could do things like that GG: tell me your lususes birthday, i will put it in my calendar GA: I Never Knew It GA: I Wish Shed Told Me GA: Rose I Mean I Dont Think Wriggling Days Are Important For Virgin Mothergrubs GG: dont take it personally GG: she does it to all of us, and youre her girlfriend so she has to be EXTRA secretive about terrible and compromising things like emotions GA: That Logic Sounds Backward GG: the human mind is a complicated maze of mystery kanaya GA: Sounds Mysterious GG: it is GG: she probably doesnt realize its stressing you out, i know shes trying to be better about that kind of thing GG: you know, COMMUNICATION!! D: GA: No Please Anything But That GG: the achilles heel of our entire household GG: i can bug her if you want GA: No Thats Ok GA: Mostly I Wanted To Make Sure I Hadnt Caused This And Needed To Resolve It GA: If She Wants To Grieve By Herself I Understand GG: if shes still in there by dinner well root her out! GG: there is a limit to how many sad songs are good for your soul GA: Ok GA: In The Meantime Do You Have Any Work That Needs Doing In The Greenhouse GA: Id Like To Keep My Hands Busy GG: theres some stuff that needs deadheading on table three GG: do you want company? GA: No Thats Fine GA: Ill Talk To You Later GG: sure thing! -- ¬¬grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -- GA: Im Sorry About Your Mother TT: Who told you about that? GA: Jade TT: Figures. TT: Lousy goddamn supportive friends. GA: She Has Said She Will Flush You Out If You Dont Come Down To Dinner GA: Do You Feel Up To It GA: Otherwise I Can Convince Her To Leave You Be GA: She Is Easily Distracted From Her Resolutions If You Know How To Play Your Gaming Rectangles Right TT: No, I'll be there. TT: What time is it? GA: Half Past Five So No Rush GA: Im Still Gardening And Havent Washed Up TT: It might take me that long to get presentable. GA: Was Her Wriggling Day Important To You GA: I Admit The Concept Is New To Me GA: What With Our Ancestors Being So Far Removed From Our Lives And Our Guardians Being Literal Fauna Who Did Not Celebrate Notable Dates TT: It’s probably not even her real birthday. TT: We were all created on the same day, and I doubt anyone was on hand to record when her meteor touched down. TT: She must have picked a day she liked. TT: We used to give each other over-the-top gifts every year. TT: I thought she was being passive aggressive, so I reciprocated in turn. TT: The last year, I thought about getting her a bedazzled martini glass, but I didn’t get around to it. TT: Thank god. TT: I can only hope she interpreted my gestures as sincere as readily as I interpreted hers as sarcastic. TT: Otherwise she must have thought I was the worst daughter imaginable. GA: Im Sure She Didnt Think That TT: I wish I’d given her something better. TT: Something genuine. GA: I Was Working On A New Hat For Nepeta During The Game GA: I Got Some Monster Slime On Her Old One With A Sloppy Chainsaw Maneuver And Even Though She Said It Wasnt The First Time I Wanted To Make It Up To Her GA: And Help At Least One Of My Teammates Diversify Their Wardrobe TT: There’s always an ulterior motive, isn’t there? GA: You Tell Me GA: You Are The Expert In Decoding The Nefarious Meaning Hidden Within Every Exchange Of Pleasantries TT: It’s a secret code, Kanaya. TT: The sixth grader who tossed the newspaper into our yard this morning is working with the KGB. That’s what "Good morning" meant. This is well established in spy manuals. GA: My Knowledge Of Human Subterfuge Is Always Expanding GA: The Hat Was Supposed To Be A Surprise GA: Then I Found It In A Treasure Chest Not Long Into Our Journey GA: Theyre Gone And You Know That But Then You Find Something That Reminds You GA: Oh GA: Ill Never Give Her That Will I TT: I don’t know what I would’ve done if we’d lost anyone from our session. TT: Well, I do know. I have memories from a timeline where we lost half. TT: It wasn’t pretty. TT: I know in a lot of ways we got lucky. GA: Its Not A Contest GA: You Dont Have To Have Had It Worst To Feel Bad TT: I know. TT: But it’s hard. GA: See Look At Us Talking About Our Emotions Isnt That Nice GA: A Horrible Kind Of Nice TT: Or a nice kind of horrible. TT: Either or. GA: The Juxtaposition Is Key TT: I didn't mean to shut you out. GA: I Know You Need Privacy Sometimes GA: I Would Just Prefer To Know Whats Going On So I Dont Have To Worry About Whats Wrong GA: And You Know You Can Talk To Me TT: I know. Intellectually. TT: Is it weird I can trust you all with my life but not always with my feelings? GA: Kind Of GA: But I Get It GA: Were All Weird About Some Things TT: I'm trying to do better. And I'll let you know next time I need to indulge in a three-hour sad jams session so you won't worry. TT: Maybe after I've run through my playlist, we can even talk about it. GA: We Can Sit Awkwardly At A Table Waiting For The Other One To Break The Silence First TT: A tradition. GA: Also I Should Let You Know Its Stir Fry Night TT: Really? TT: You should have led with that. TT: Save me a seat.

As time passes, you all improve with hesitant steps that sometimes send you sliding back, sometimes not. Rose throws herself into her walkthrough, which she plans to distribute to anyone else caught up in SGRUB’s gears. Everyone is on consultant duty to flesh out areas of personal expertise. You, however, are her co-editor, a position of special privilege.

Rose views the work as one more way to help whatever players come after you. Your motivation is less selfless. Once, several sweeps and universes ago, an alien’s words found you and gave you something to hang on to. Somewhere, in a distant galaxy, someone else is being forced to play this game. Maybe your words can reach them, like Rose’s reached you. Working on the walkthrough now lets you build something together in a way that she won’t dismiss as sappy and overdone, a love letter for the universe.

That doesn’t mean you don’t run into difficulties, of course.

TT: Have you had a chance to look over the Prospit chapter? GA: Oh Uh GA: Ive Seen It TT: Did you have any feedback? TT: I'm going to ask Jade too, but I thought I'd give you the first shot. GA: Um GA: I Dont Know TT: Was it that off-base? TT: I know I'm a Derse dreamer, but I tried to be thorough. GA: Its More The Tone GA: You Wrote That Prospit May Look Friendlier But Should Still Be Viewed As An Antagonist Because It Has Ulterior Motives GA: And Maybe Thats True Especially About The Clouds GA: But My Time On The Moon Was The Brighter Portion Of My Childhood GA: And The People Of Prospit Were Always Kind To Me GA: So I Guess The Framing Made Those Memories Feel Kind Of GA: Threatened TT: Oh. GA: It Isnt A Logical Reaction TT: What do you think I should change? GA: I Dont Know GA: Maybe Nothing GA: Youre The Expert Here I Know Im Biased Toward My Moon Whatever Systems It Might Be Part Of GA: We All Take That View About Some Parts Of Our Youth Dont We GA: Even If It Was Part Of Something Bad We Remember The Good Moments GA: We Hold On To The Small Kindnesses TT: …Yeah. GA: You Can Disregard That Feedback GA: Youre The One With Writing Expertise And A Clear Goal In Mind GA: I Dont Really Know What Im Doing GA: Youre Better At This TT: I’m really not. TT: I just put on a more convincing show. TT: Don’t dismiss yourself. You have expertise in areas I don’t. GA: I Guess Im Not As Used To Putting Myself Out There TT: You can come up with a clever pen name. TT: There’s a tradition of vampires spelling their names backward. GA: Im Reformed TT: An anagram then, maybe. TT: Jokes aside, this is a collaborative project. We’ve got a Google doc and everything. TT: I don't want to intergalactically publish anything you're not comfortable with. TT: How about a revision session this evening? I'll bring Lofthouse cookies. GA: The Ones That Are Just Discs Of Sugar And Flour TT: With nary a redeeming nutritional quality in sight. TT: Keep that quiet, though. Jane would kill me if she knew I was smuggling them into the house. GA: Sounds Great Ill Be There

Rose’s typical drafting position is on her stomach with her laptop propped up on the pillow. You prefer to stretch your legs out with your back up against the wall. Thermoses of tea balance precariously between the two of you on the mattress.

“There’s been a lot of activity on the kernelsprite document,” Rose says, flicking through the pages. “Apparently Hal listed “100 advantages of being prototyped” and Dirk replaced it with “Most of this list is either illegal or immoral.” I’m turning track changes on to see what they were.”

You tap your fingers idly on the keys while your own husktop buffers. “Anything good?”

“Get away with murder,” she reads. “That’s cliché, you don’t even have to be a sprite for that. I think he just put it in there to be edgy. He’s trying so hard; you have to respect that. It’s like when I started buying black makeup to try to spite my mother.” She scrolls down further. “Oh, here’s a good one. Clip through the floor.”

“I’ve seen John do it. He’s not as original as he thinks he is.” You peer at her screen. “Eat your enemy’s phone. I’ll give him points for one. It’s not feasible for most mortals.”

Rose reaches across your legs for another cookie. “Sure, if you’re a coward.”

“I’ll accept that designation if it means avoiding a mouthful of circuitry.”

She chews thoughtfully and then flicks a sprinkle off onto the carpet. At least you’re in her room. Still, you feel a compulsion to pick it up. “About what you were saying earlier. I don’t want to contribute to any lingering insecurities.”

The change of topics catches you off guard. “They’re milling around in the lobby, but I’m not letting them upstairs.” You shrug, your shoulders sliding up the wall. “As we’ve been reminding each other, we can’t fix everything about ourselves immediately. I’m more confident than I used to be. I didn’t let Jake talk me into that routine with the glitter.”

“Shame.” She frowns at you, an expression diluted somewhat by a rim of frosting on her upper lip. “I’m not commandeering this project too much, am I? It’s nice to have something to be enthusiastic about again, but maybe I’m getting carried away.”

“No, you’re being very accommodating.” You squirm, smoothing out inconsequential creases in your skirt. Sometimes feelings don’t make sense. But once Rose decides she wants to talk about them, she tries to pin them to the page and dissect them. She does it because she wants to understand and help, the same way she wants to reverse engineer SBURB with words to assist players who come after. That doesn’t make the process any more pleasant when you’re the one on the operating table. “The problem is on my end, in the concern lobby. The lurking insecurities have been taking numbers for a while, and the counter is only up to twelve.”

“Like Inside Out crossed with a DMV? Hellish.” Rose picks up a pen and rolls it between her fingers. She likes to draft things longhand first sometimes. “I remember back on the last day of the game, you said you thought everyone burned brighter than you. You must’ve realized by now that my “burning brighter” is mostly because I have a habit of setting myself on fire.”

You’ll admit you’d been starstruck by the walkthrough’s mysterious author. It had been nice to harbor a new secret crush once Vriska was a lost cause. And you’d first met Rose face to face as a newly risen goddess bathed in the luminescence of the Green Sun. She’d seemed ethereal and beyond you.

Then, after the first few hours of sorting out living arrangements and watching Karkat roam around yelling for Gamzee to give the bodies back, she’d announced she was going to “sleep for a fucking week” and faceplanted into the nearest rug. Dave didn’t help beyond alchemizing some safety cones and setting them up around her. That had helped a little. So had seeing what her hair looks like in the mornings. “If you’re worried I have some unattainable vision of you set on a mental altar, rest easy. But you did restructure the multiverse with nothing but nerve, so I might still want your autograph a little.”

Rose brandishes the pen. “Only on the condition I get to sign your bra.” When you wave her away, she drops it on the pillow. “Spearheading the multiverse operation is one of my prouder accomplishments, I’ll admit, but my violet-tinged authorial prowess is entirely due to thinking I was hot shit as a pre-teen on the Internet. Besides, if we’re talking bragging rights, you fixed reality. Not to mention put up with us idiots for three years.”

“That was a struggle.” At times you’d wondered if you were the only one on the meteor keeping ahold of your wits. “Remember when the ceiling panels gave way and Gamzee fell onto the table?”

“Not our best group dinner. But you see, I’m a mess. You’re the one who has her act together.”

You frown. Being praised for your stability is a sore spot of yours. Yes, you’d been the one to bear everyone else’s struggles. That doesn’t mean you liked it. “I had to. Someone did. It got tiring after a while, though.”

Rose winces. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You shouldn’t have had to. But it is impressive that you did.”

“You were sick,” you say, in response to her apology.

You see her shoulder blades rise and fall in a muted shrug. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you should have had to deal with it.”

“I guess…” Maybe you’re the one who’s prompted her to speak up, but you struggle with your words too. Troll culture teaches you that open exchanges of feelings are for moirails. Palemates are the only people you can trust the depths of your soul to, if you can truly trust anyone at all. Humans don’t compartmentalize in the same way. You can see the benefits of that system, but you still fear saying the wrong thing will push her away. “You undercut yourself to tell me I’m better than I think I am. But if I’m already worried about measuring up to some standard, that just pushes us both lower. Do you see what I mean?”

“The self-deprecation’s not cute. Got it.” She twists around in what is probably some kind of advanced yoga pose to look you in the eye. “But you shouldn’t undersell yourself either, ok?”

When she doesn’t break eye contact, you nod reluctantly. “This is a very affirming argument we’re having.”

She reaches over and prods you with the pen. “I’m channeling Jake. Believe in yourself.”

You smile. “It’s hard to resist, these days.”

When you’re done for the evening, Rose captchalogues her laptop and you troop out. Everyone has their own room, but all of you tend to spend more of your nights in the common area curled up in armchairs or slumped over each other on sofas, within easy sight of each other when you wake from bad dreams. After a few weeks of intentionally lingering there until you fell asleep, you made it official and filled the whole room with soft materials like a huge communal pile. Terezi even taped up democratically-determined regulations. Rose spends some nights curled up next to you with her face shoved so close against your neck you wonder how she can breathe. Sometimes, though, she retreats to a corner with a pillow at her back like a wall. You know not to approach her then.

Tonight, she finds an empty patch of floor and drops down on it. You lower yourself next to her.

“Are you happy with the chapter now?” she asks.

“I’d like to give it another pass tomorrow, but it’s much better.”

“And everything else?”

“That’s better too.”

“Good.” She gives you a peck on the lips and, when Terezi wolfwhistles, flips her the bird and kisses you for real. You kiss her back, until… You pull away.

“Are you wearing my lip balm?”

“Maybe.” She purses the lips in question. “It’s got a good flavor.”

“I was wondering where that went. You know, you could have just asked to borrow it.” Grudgingly, anyway. She has a terrible habit of licking the stuff off and then reapplying it to start the cycle anew.

Rose raises an eyebrow. “You offered to do my laundry so you could steal my favorite shirt.”

You think, with only a modicum of guilt, of the shirt you have stashed behind the laundry basket in your closet. “It’s very soft.”

“I’m never getting that back, am I?”

“Probably not.”

She sticks her tongue out at you and pulls a blanket over her shoulders. “Night.”

“Good night,” you say. That’s the only endearment you exchange.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -- GA: Karkat GA: Karkat Answer Your Phone I Know You Can See This GA: Youre Looking At It Right Now CG: YEAH I SURE AM. CG: I'M STARING AT THIS MARVELOUS HUNK OF PLASTIC AND ELECTRICITY IN MY HANDS AND REFLECTING ON HOW IT GRANTS US THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER FROM ANY DISTANCE. CG: SUCH AS, FOR EXAMPLE, EIGHT FUCKING FEET AWAY. GA: This Is Private CG: I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A CONCEPT OF PRIVACY ANYMORE. CG: COLOR ME SURPRISED, SO SOME THINGS ABOUT OUR LIVES *AREN’T* SUPPOSED TO BE COMMON KNOWLEDGE? GA: It Might Help If You Spoke With Any Kind Of Discretion Or Volume Control CG: NOT AN OPTION. CG: CARRY ON. GA: Youve Watched A Lot Of Human Romances GA: What Is The Appropriate Interval Before Affirmations Of Matespritship Are Exchanged GA: You Know Like GA: Uh CG: "I LOVE YOU"? GA: Yes That CG: THE FIRST STEP IS BEING ABLE TO TYPE IT INTO A PRIVATE CHAT SESSION WITHOUT BLUSHING. CG: I CAN SEE YOU OVER THERE. GA: Dammit GA: What Is The Waiting Period Here Like Three Sweeps CG: SO I GUESS SHE HASN'T DONE IT YET? GA: Well GA: Not Sober GA: She Was Quite Eager To Confess Admiration While On Soporifics GA: To Everyone And Everything Including Inanimate Objects GA: Im Not Sure Such Exchanges No Matter How Heartfelt Can Be Considered Fully Genuine CG: YOU'RE IN LUCK, A LOT OF HUMAN FILMS COVER THIS IN DEPTH. CG: IF YOU WANT I CAN ARRANGE A VIEWING SESSION WITH SOME MORE INFORMATIVE SELECTIONS. GA: That Might Be Fun GA: But Mostly I Would Appreciate Some Friendly Advice GA: As Educational As Im Sure The Latest Work Starring Anne Hathaway Would Be CG: AN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY IS: CG: IT USUALLY DOESN’T TAKE THIS LONG. CG: BUT THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED ARE OLDER, THE SAME SPECIES, AND HAVEN’T BEEN THROUGH A WAR, SO IT’S NOT A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE. CG: ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT IT? GA: Not Exactly GA: I Know The Sentiment Is There GA: If Anything I Just Hope She Feels Comfortable Enough She Knows She Can Be Open With Me GA: Shes Trying But I Can Tell Its Still Difficult For Her CG: DAVE SAYS "its obvious shes crazy about you" SO NO WORRIES THERE. GA: Why Is Dave Part Of This Conversation CG: HE WALKED OVER AND LOOKED AT MY PHONE OVER THE BACK OF THE SOFA. CG: LIKE I SAID. PRIVACY = ZERO GA: Hi Dave CG: HE SAYS HI. GA: I Saw Him Wave GA: Now Tell Him To Go Away CG: AND HE’S GONE. CG: THE CHAT IS CLEAR OF FUTURE BROTHERS-IN-LAW. GA: Future What CG: THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL BE IF YOU AND ROSE GET "HUMAN MARRIED". CG: THE RITUAL MAKES YOU FAMILY WITH THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY. CG: I’M PRETTY SURE IT WAS HISTORICALLY DESIGNED TO ACQUIRE ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL ADVANTAGES. CG: YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE HOW INTERCASTE MOIRALLEGIANCES CAN AFFORD LOWER CASTES PROTECTION. CG: BUT IN MODERN TIMES MOSTLY IT MEANS YOU’RE STUCK WITH THOSE CHUCKLEFUCKS FOR LIFE AS A PACKAGE DEAL. GA: Oh No CG: OH YES. GA: Karkat I May Be Rethinking This Whole Venture CG: TOO LATE, I’M GOING TO BE YOUR BEST MAN. IT’S ALREADY DECIDED. GA: What Is A Best Man GA: Is It Whoever I Have Designated If I Were For Some Reason Obligated To Wed Someone Of That Gender CG: NO. CG: THE MOVIES AREN’T ENTIRELY CLEAR ABOUT THEIR ROLE, BUT IN GENERAL THEY GIVE HEARTFELT SPEECHES AND PROVIDE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. GA: Maybe I Want Jake To Be My Best Man GA: He Can Recite Touching Monologues Ripped From The Silver Screen CG: YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THIS WHATSOEVER. CG: (YOU KNOW I’M JOKING, RIGHT?) GA: I Figured GA: Although I Wouldn’t Put It Past You To Try To Plan That Kind Of Thing Out For Me CG: HEY IF YOU EVER WANT IDEAS, I CAN THROW SOME OUT THERE. CG: YOU’RE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR THAT KIND OF THING THOUGH. CG: AND WE STILL HAVE TO GET YOU FROM POINT A TO POINT B, WHICH INVOLVES TRAVERSING THE ROCKY TERRAIN OF EMOTIONAL HONESTY, WITH WHICH I HAVE HAD NO PAST PROBLEMS AT ALL. CG: YOU COULD ALWAYS SAY IT FIRST YOURSELF I GUESS. CG: UNLESS YOU THINK THAT’LL MAKE HER EVEN MORE NERVOUS? GA: It Might GA: Outright Displays Of Emotion Embarrass Her She Relates It Too Much To Her Drunken Excesses And Those Of Her Mother GA: If I Can Be Permitted To Psychoanalyze Here GA: Shes Admitted As Much CG: THEN… LET HER KNOW SHE CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE? CG: THAT DOESN’T SOUND VERY EXCITING, BUT MAYBE IT DOESN’T HAVE TO. CG: THEY MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT IN THE MOVIES BUT I THINK AS LONG AS YOU’RE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE WHETHER THOSE THREE EXACT WORDS HAVE ESCAPED YOUR QUIVERING CHUTE FLAPS DOESN’T MATTER ALL THAT MUCH. CG: THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO SHOW YOU CARE. I’M PRETTY SURE YOU’VE GOT THAT COVERED. CG: MOVIES AREN’T ALWAYS THAT REALISTIC ABOUT WHICH PARTS OF A RELATIONSHIP ARE A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE VERSUS WHICH PARTS ARE NEGOTIABLE. GA: !! CG: YEAH YEAH RUB IT IN. CG: SO I RELIED ON THEM A LOT, IT’S NOT LIKE I HAD MUCH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. GA: I Shouldnt Criticize This Was Helpful GA: Thanks For Listening GA: And I Would Like To Watch Movies With You Sometime If That Offer Is Still On The Table CG: DEFINITELY. CG: I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I’VE GOT A GOOD LINEUP PULLED TOGETHER.

A few days later, Rose wanders into your room unannounced and flops onto the bed. This isn’t uncommon behavior, so you keep sorting through your clean laundry. Her cat behaves similarly, insinuating himself into a room as if he belongs there. It’s a lazy confidence you envy. “We should go out,” she says, directing her words at the ceiling.

“We should?” you ask, holding two socks up to see if they match. They don’t, exactly, but they are a pair. Rose knitted them for you herself. They’re lumpy and awkwardly shaped, and you treasure them.

“We were going to do something fun after the game, remember? That was the plan. But we've both been sick, and outside is...” Rose waves toward the window and the world it serves as a barrier against. “Outside, so we haven't gotten around to it. But we should. You’ve been in your room a lot. It’ll do us both good.”

Drat. Your downturns aren’t as explosive as the others’. Sometimes you simply withdraw, spending more time on your own while a mental screen descends between you and the world, distorting it like a blur filter. There’s nothing wrong with you, exactly; it’s just that you don’t have the energy. That’s not bad, right? There are worse things than numbness. “What were you thinking we could do?”

She sits up halfway and then flops back down again. The pillows bounce. “I was hoping you'd have some ideas.”

You twist the socks together and toss them into the appropriate drawer. “The only thing I remember suggesting was outfits without sleeves.”

“Compelling, but not really something to make a date out of.” Rose frowns. “Have we ever... had a normal date? By regular people's standards?”

“Troll or human?” You shake your head. “I don't think any species would give us a passing grade.”

“Earthworms might be impressed.”

You pout. “You've never taken me to any good plots of soil.”

“We'll do that next time. For now, Jane said someone needs to do the shopping.”

“You know how to sweep me off my feet.”

Rose, still prone, waves a list in your direction. “It'll be fun. We get to pick which flavor of potato chips we want, and everyone else has to live with it.”

If Alternia had anything like supermarkets, they hadn’t spread near your oasis. For all that your caste can stand the sun, the electric lights hurt your eyes. They’re too bright – a harsh white that makes all the bright colors look flat and artificial. You reach for Rose’s hand, and she squeezes it. “I appreciate the support,” you say, “but I wanted to see the list.”

“Oh. Right.” She brings it up for both of you to consult. “Does Jade know how expensive beef is? She’s really running us through it.”

“She’s been talking about growing vegetables for the household. It’s too bad she can’t raise her own cows.”

“Don’t give her ideas. She wouldn’t be able to bring herself to butcher them, not after we’d named them all.” Rose leads you to the back of the store and scoops up slabs of meat packed into tidy foam and plastic containers. The setup is so clinical your residual rainbow drinker instincts don’t even twitch. It’s a far cry from the Alternian pastime of slicing your dinner up while it’s still wriggling. “We need milk,” she begins, and trails off after she pivots to the left. “It was that way in my old store. But they must not follow a common plan.”

Rose looks unmoored now that her navigational confidence has been broken. A lot of the humans are like this, wavering when their world doesn’t behave the way they think it should. It’s almost easier for those of you who expect foreign ways and customs. It’s harder to be a stranger in your own home. “We’ll wander,” you say, and steer her firmly by the shoulder.

By a combination of trial and error and studying signage like relics of a lost civilization, you manage to gather everything on the list. The only problem comes when you pass a series of shelves stacked with bottles, and Rose stiffens. It takes a moment for the pieces to fall into place – you’ve never seen wine packaged in its original containers before.

”Come on,” you say, linking your arm with hers. “Help me test which limes are ripest.”

You have to tug for a moment before she comes with you. You don’t think she’s planning to make a running leap for the vintage. If anything, she looks like she does when there’s an enemy sighted, wary and ready to spring. If she destroys several wine racks with a blast of divine light, that’ll probably go on your bill.

”Sorry,” she says, once you’ve made it to the produce section. “At my old store, it was in a separate room. Not out in the open.”

You lean toward her a little, so your shoulders press together. “It took you by surprise.”

She leans back. “Like pulling down your sheets and seeing a spider in your bed.” You see a dot of blood on her lower lip. She must have bitten it. “It must be harder for you. There’s no getting away from all that blood walking around on two legs.”

”It’s easier not to slip up, though.” You reach over with your free hand and dab at her cut, wiping the smear on the side of your shirt. “They’d make a fuss if I tried to sample it.”

”That’s what recovering alcoholics need.” She swipes at her mouth herself, but the wound is already closing. “Wine bottles that scream when you open them.”

”You’ve uncovered a new industry.”

”I need to patent it immediately.”

You squeeze her arm before letting go. If she’s making jokes, that’s a good sign.

Rose perks up when you’re heading toward the checkout. “Hang on. We have to stop by the natural foods section.”

”We do?” You check the list again. There’s nothing left on it.

”You never know,” she says. Now it’s her turn to drag you along. “The cure to all our life’s problems might be hiding next to the apricot kernels.”

Her tone is mocking. “Is there something wrong with natural products?”

”Not on their own. Jade says a lot of processed food upsets her stomach after growing up without it. But some people will pitch organic to you as the cure for cancer, and if you’re telling me you feed your four-year-old Goji berries instead of getting him vaccinated, I think you’ve opened yourself up to public disdain.” Rose plucks a box of tea off the shelf. “Look at this one. It says it’ll revitalize your body and restore harmony to your thoughts. All for twelve dollars, too.”

”Sounds like a deal.”

”It would have its work cut out for it with us. Hey, if I drink Sleepy Time and Stay Alert blends at the same time, what do you think will happen?”

”You’ll shed your corporeal form and ascend to a being of pure consciousness, and that would be a shame, because I like your face.” You retrieve the boxes and put them back before she decides to do product testing. “Apparently these exotic grains cure depression with their wholesome vitamins and minerals.”

”Buy the whole shelf.”

She’s right; some of these products are ridiculous. The two of you are giggling over asparagus water when a middle-aged woman pushes past you with her shopping cart. A highblood couldn’t look down their nose better. “Are you girls done with that?” she asks.

”Definitely,” Rose says, straight-faced. “I’d recommend it. It made us gay.”

Rose did the talking there, and you were too busy laughing to think of how to react. But when you get to the cashier, your tongue twists in your mouth. You stammer through pleasantries until Rose rescues you and completes the transaction. You drift away while she's collecting the bags, pretending to peruse the week's advertisement flier.

“She was pretty,” Rose says when she joins you, groceries in tow. “Is that why you were stuttering?”

You take half the bags from her. It would have been polite to help her carry them from the conveyor belt, but you needed to escape. “Was she? I didn't notice.”

She nudges you with a conspiratorial grin. “You don't have to play coy. I won't get jealous.”

“I'm not playing coy.” You shift one of the bags over your wrist, and something inside crinkles. Hopefully you didn’t break anything. “Her face was a blur. I panicked.”

Rose’s smile fades. “I’d forgotten you could be shy.”

The automatic doors whoosh open as the two of you approach. You sidestep a mother and her offspring going the other direction. “When you grow up on an oasis where your nearest neighbors are the shambling undead, you're a little cautious of strangers.”

“But willing to send them messages on Pesterchum questioning their intelligence and morals.”

She printed your first conversation logs off and stuck them to her wall, which you find equally endearing and annoying. Every time you see them, you itch to pull out a pen and make edits. “That's different. We weren't face to face. And... this is all new, here. I worry they'll be able to tell.”

“That they'll scream “Space invader!” and cart you off to a top secret facility?

”I’m sure it’s funny to you,” you say with a sniff, starting across the parking lot. “They won’t dissect you.”

She smiles again – you meant her to; the dissection at least was a joke. “I get nervous too. Not as much now after everything we’ve been through, but I’ve always been hyperaware of social situations. But I tend to take the ‘don't get scared; get angry’ approach.”

You recall how she marched up to the conveyor belt and slammed down her purchases. “I did wonder if you were going to challenge the salesperson to a strife.”

“Chalk it up to the childhood narcissism. I always felt like everyone was passing judgment.”

You accidentally make eye contact with a man stepping out of his vehicle and redirect your gaze at Rose’s collarbone. “Like everyone's watching.”

She nods. “And that's not true. They have their own problems and couldn't care less what we do. We're not important to them. In this case, that's reassuring.”

You’re surprised she finds it comforting. You’re happy to fade into the background; Rose likes to be noticed. You’d never realized it frightened her too. “What a pair we make,” you say.

“Between us, we add up to one functional person.”

You pull open the car door for her with a flourish. “I'd be generous and say at least 1.5.”

A few of the humans have been working to get their licenses so Jane’s father doesn’t have to drive them everywhere. Rose only has a permit, but that doesn’t stop her from using the car. Seer powers let her know if there’s likely to be trouble, but otherwise she drives like she’s got a grudge against the pavement. She peels out of the parking spot and then slams on the brakes. You hug a carton of eggs to your chest so they don’t splatter against the windshield. “What is it?”

”We have cold bags for everything, right?”

”Yes.” It was overkill for a short trip, but you prefer to be prepared.

She pulls into the store’s partner gas station while you wave apologetically at the elderly woman she just cut off. “This is a date. We’re going to get coffee.”

The coffee machine is broken, so you both get 99 cent slushies and sit on the curb next to the free air pump. The parking spot is empty save for a mulch of cigarette butts and ripped up Lotto tickets. Rose slurps some of her concoction out of a straw. It’s a murky mess, and you spotted her squirting a few shots of energy drink in for good measure. You spent several minutes painstakingly creating a rainbow pattern and are now trying to drink evenly to keep the layers intact. A bag of chips slumps half-empty between you. They’ll complain about that back home, but it’s their fault for not coming along to supervise.

Rose sucks on her straw with a noise like a drain unclogging. “How’s this for romance and adventure?”

“I could do it again,” you say. And you could. The encounter with the cashier still leaves you shaken, but the haze has peeled off the world. It’s funny how after everything you’ve been through, something as simple like this can be energizing. There are groceries in the car that need to get back and a household worth of responsibilities to keep up with, but right now it could just be the two of you setting off on some new adventure. Rose has always made you feel that way. Light players make the world narrow around them, drawing in attention, compressing possibility. They’re a lantern you bump against, entranced. With Rose, you’ve found one that doesn’t burn.

”Well shit, these were ninety-nine cents.” She smirks in the way that means you’ve missed a joke. “I think our budget can afford it.”

”Thank you for dragging me out here.” Lurking in your room seems silly now. “It helps, borrowing your confidence.”

”It’s a show,” she says. “I don’t know how you manage to seem so centered all the time.”

”Amateur theatrics,” you say. “One functional person, here we are.” She raises her drink in a toast, and you knock them together. ”I mean it, though,” you continue. “It’s nice, the way you turn things into adventures. Even if it’s a shopping trip, I don’t know where we’re going to end up. It’s unpredictable, but I like it. I like spending time with you.”

She smiles and looks away. Whenever you’ve successfully induced emotions, she never wants to look you in the eye. “That slushy must have made an impression.”

”It was good.” You flick the straw, sending drops of condensation scattering across the asphalt. “We didn’t have anything like this at home, at least not where I grew up. That might explain part of the rapturous response. But mostly I think it’s because I love you.”

Rose stills. That might be a bad sign, but you’ve gotten yourself into this situation, so you might as well keep going. “I’m not trying to corner you,” you say, looking down at your knees. “I know you have difficulty expressing some things. But I wanted to express that. Right now.”

When you sneak a look over, her shoulders are shaking. The ice from your drink solidifies in your stomach until you realize she’s laughing.

”Do you know how long I’ve been agonizing over this?” she asks.

”I knew why,” you begin. “Your mother…” That’s not a complete sentence, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes you want to ask John to transport you into Rose’s past so you can grab the woman by her shoulders and shake her. “How could you be so careless?” you want to demand. “Didn’t you realize what you were doing?” You are all the results of what has been done to you, combined with your attempts to overcome it. Even with your universes gone, their impressions remain as indelible parts of you. You wouldn’t want Rose to be anything other than who she is, but that doesn’t stop you from wishing she could have gotten something better growing up.

“That was what started it.” Rose takes a gulp of her drink. The humor drains from her voice. Now she’ll look you in the eye. “She’d vanish into her laboratory or a drunken stupor and leave me to fend for myself. The first time I tried cooking spaghetti I set off the fire alarm. I couldn’t get it to stop until I climbed up on a chair and took the batteries out. She slept through the whole thing. So when she turned up with a new present, how could I believe it was sincere? And even if it was, it didn’t make up for anything. If all you can give is the trappings of love, like you’ve bought out a Valentines’ clearance sale but can’t be damned to raise your own child, it doesn’t count.” She sloshes the remains of her drink around with one hand and watches it like she’s reading tea leaves. “So I guess I distrusted all of it. The glitz, the performance, anything. Even the words. Because if you do it right, they should know. But… in the past I’ve been guilty of overcorrecting.”

“Really?” You try to keep your tone teasing. Anything else might alarm her.

She elbows you in the ribs, but not hard. “Sometimes I’ve turned the wheel a bit and drifted over the dividing line between reasonable responses and terrible decisions by a few millimeters.”

“I think a driving instructor might say you sailed over the median, engaged with oncoming traffic, and left the highway entirely for parts unknown. What?” you add. “I’ve read the manual you’re all practicing from.”

“Five dollars says you pass the test before I do. After the timeline John made unhappen, I realized I’d never told you. For all the wrong, stupid reasons. I shouldn’t have let any of that stop me. I would’ve died with that as one of my greatest regrets. So I wanted it to be perfect, since I made you wait so long.” She covers her mouth with one hand and smiles through her fingers. “God, you should see my search history. I watched promposal videos, although I wiped all that data and I’ll deny it if you tell anyone. And here we are –” she pauses and shakes her head - “in a gas station parking lot. But you know what? I think it fits.” She slings an arm around your shoulders and plants a sticky kiss on your cheek. “I love you. Let’s make it count.”

This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect your lives to accumulate the clutter of experiences together – receipts and stolen shirts and empty packages still streaked with frosting. Expect to make missteps, because the two of you are walking an uncharted path one step after another. Sometimes you fall, fight your demons, and climb back up again. You are all doing this for the first time.

Expect her to say she loves you in unexpected ways. A new package of lip gloss left on your pillow. A flower pressed between the pages of a heavy book to make it delicate and perfect. Occasionally, the words.

Make it count.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

-

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever 

-

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

-

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

-

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

-

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

-

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

-

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

-

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time. 

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

-

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

-

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

-

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs 

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

-

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

-

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour. 

-

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it. 

-

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

-

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

-

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

-

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on 

-

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

-

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

-

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

-

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

-

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

-

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

-

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?! 

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

-

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder. 

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

-

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

-

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

-

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

-

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

-

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE. 

-

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable 

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

-

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case. 

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

-

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

-

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

-

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

-

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

-

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

-

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

-

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

-

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

-

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

-

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

-

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

-

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

-

ema: can i fuck off now

-

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

-

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

-

“back in the old country”

...england..?

-

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

-

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

-

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE  oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

-

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

-

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

-

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

-

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

-

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out. 

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

-

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

-

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA. 

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you. 

-

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

-

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

-

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL.  THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

-

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

-

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

-

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

-

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

-

why the fuck did he 

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL 

AW YEA

-

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

-

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

-

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

-

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom 

-

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

-

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

-

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

-

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

-

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

-

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

-

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

-

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

-

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

-

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

-

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

-

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

-

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

-

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

-

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

-

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

-

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

-

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting. 

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

-

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

-

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

-

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

-

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

-

Huh. 

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

:T

-

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

-

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

-

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

-

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

-

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

-

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

-

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

-

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller. 

-

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

-

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

o

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

-

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

-

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

-

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

-

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

-

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

-

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

-

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

-

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

-

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

-

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

-

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

-

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

-

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

-

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

-

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting 

-

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

-

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

-

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

-

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

-

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

-

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

-

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

-

oh wait

ah here we go.

-

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

-

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU 

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

-

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell. 

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

-

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

-

what the fuck is his deal with being king

-

OH SHUT UP DURKE 

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

-

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

w

when

-

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

-

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

-

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

-

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID 

-

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN 

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

-

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

-

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

-

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation 

-

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

-

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

-

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

-

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted 

-

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

-

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

-

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

-

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

-

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

-

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

-

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO 

-

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

-

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

-

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

-

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.

[hellaintthatbad]

Riverdale fanfic 1 - kevin & joaquin (with @fangirly-freak)

>Kevin, all well-behaved, typical suburban boy, straight a’s, and then the serpent, bad boy how theyre written, and yet theyre together and I bet, if there should be a showdown of some kind, joaquin will try to protect kevin, to keep him away from the shit hes getting being a serpent, even though he doesn’t realize hes protecting him, and also im betting that kevin wants some distance at first, but he cant keep it up for long and runs to joaquin and kisses him as if the world is ending. And that will happen in that bar where the serpents hang around, right in front of all the other men and when anybody says anything against them jugheads dad will personally beat them up because he is a good soul.<

 Kevin ran faster than he ever did before, his throat burned and his legs became wobbly, threatening to give up. But Kevin didn’t pay attention to his body’s protests, the only thing on his mind was a raven-haired boy, the boy that was from another world and yet from so close, being so close to him yet being unrecognized.

Kevin took a sharp 90° turn, his shoes slid on the wet concrete but he didn’t fall and just kept running. Jughead’s words still echoed through his head. His friend asked Archie if he could sleep over a few nights, his dad having a serpent thing and didn’t want him to follow him, his ‘detective of a son shouldn’t be there for his own life’s sake’. Thankfully Archie asked when the whole ordeal would take place so Kevin hadn’t been caught eavesdropping. And thankfully Jughead trusted Archie enough to tell him.

But not so thankfully, Kevin’s dad didn’t fall asleep fast enough. The sheriff was always tired when he came home from work and usually fell asleep after dinner, but tonight he wanted to tell his son about his last case. In the end, Kevin said he had homework to do and left, only to sit on top of the stairs and wait. Soon his father’s breath slowed and the boy sneaked down, a first-aid packet and another jacket on his hands. He fingered around the holster, freeing the gun and wrapping it in jacket. Then, quietly, but still as fast as possible, he left his house and turned for the old warehouse.

Joaquin told him where this warehouse was, they used it as a place to be when they wanted to be alone. Okay, let’s be honest, when they wanted to make out without anybody interrupting them.

And while the authors described stuff so the reader knows stuff that’s important for the story, Kevin has reached said warehouse. Several motorcycles and cars stood in front of it. And men talked in it. Their voices were only hearable due to the echo in the empty building; also the men didn’t care to lower them.

Kevin knew the architecture of the house quite well, him and Joaquin going exploring when they wanted to talk or not make out [haha yeah that happens sometimes too believe it or not] and needed something else to do with their hands. Because, you know, hormones.

The old and rusty stairs at the back didn’t look trustworthy but they didn’t even move when you climbed them up right. They led to a sort of second story, but in the middle was a huge hole, enabling a good look to the ground story. Stair cases led down, but nobody bothered to climb them up, giving Kevin a perfect hiding spot.

The men stood at two fronts, the serpents on Kevin’s left, their client on his right. Joaquin was in the back, only about 50 meters away from Kevin, and fidgeted his hands behind his back. That meant he was nervous as hell.

Suddenly one of the clients screamed in rage, Kevin hasn’t noticed their voices rising until they shouted, he was too caught up in Joaquin’s facial features. A broad-necked bodyguard tried to calm the angry man, but another slipped through his arms and went to punch F. P., almost succeeding but the serpent next to their leader hit him first, sending the suit-wearer to the ground.

With that, all hell broke loose, fists hit jaws, blood dripped, bones crashed. Men went down, many of them unconscious. In the chaos, Kevin has lost Joaquin, but then something neon green caught his gaze. That neon green was a bracelet he gave his boyfriend a few weeks ago. A snake eating a heart was printed on it. Then it vanished as a very buff and muscular man blocked the view, pulled back his fist and threw it onto the boy’s stomach. Joaquin went down with a groan.

Out of desperation, Kevin reached for the gun, stood up and shot into the air. Everybody stopped in their tracks. Their faces turned towards him and twisted as they recognized him as the sheriff’s son.

“Kill him! He gonna report! Whatcha waitin’ for?!”

Thugs went for the stairs, one of them the man that just hit Joaquin, but the boy suddenly jumped up and put his arm around his neck, trying to strangle him.

“Kevin! Run!” F.P. bellowed.

Kevin followed his order and ran to the stairs that led him up there. He heard fists hitting flesh and groans, but didn’t look back. That is, until a stone hit his head making him feel dizzy and trip over his own feet.

He expected violence as he felt a body near him and tensed up, but was even more surprised as gentle hands fiddled around the gun in his hand.

“Sweetie, hey, it’s me. Gimme the gun. Get up. Run. Please, for me.”

“No, I can’t. Can’t leave ya…”

Kevin fainted.

The next thing Kevin knew is that he’s lying on the floor, some voices speaking almost out of earshot.

“Why is he here? Did you tell him?”

“What? No. I don’t know why he’s here. He isn’t supposed to.”

“And you’re not supposed to take a broken nose for him. You should spy on the sheriff, not play the knight in shining armor for his son.”

“I didn’t want to, it just happened! I just couldn’t see him getting hurt!”

At that, Kevin stirred. His movements didn’t go unnoticed, Joaquin and F.P. rushed over to him.

“Hey... Whoa, sweetie, calm down, your head must hurt like hell.” Joaquin reached up to stroke Kevin’s cheek as he began to sit up.

“You must hurt like hell, your face looks like Spaghetti Bolognese, and not in the tasty way.”

Jughead’s father chuckled. “Two seconds back and already backfiring, you got one there.”

“I got a first-aid kit, let me clean you up.”

The two boys went over to where Kevin’s jacket was and sat down next to it.  They sat in silence as Kevin got the utensils out and started to take care of Joaquin’s wounds.

“I heard you talk.”

“Huh?”

“Joa, I heard you and F.P. talking. He said you are supposed to spy on the sheriff. Is that why you are dating me?”

“Kev, I…”

“Don’t lie to me. I want the naked truth, without excuses. Without consideration of my feelings or whatever. Just tell me.”

The young serpent sighed.

“Yeah, I mean, I… I am supposed to play your boyfriend to spy on your dad. But so much has happened since then, and F.P. still wants information needed for clients and jobs, but I… We can get information otherwise, I am… I’m confused, you know? Because you are so good and kind and I am a no-good, usele…”

Before the boy could finish, Kevin presses a piece of bandage drenched with pure alcohol into an open cut.

“Go to the hospital, that needs stitches. I can’t do that. I’m going home. And tell F.P. to go fuck himself.”

Kevin’s voice sounded so cold. The room temperature seemed to drop 15°C

“Sweetie, what…”

“Don’t call me sweetie! That’s a name a lover should use, not a spy!”

Joaquin flinched as the other boy spat those words. He tried to reach for his hand, but Kevin withdrew his hand, grabbed his things as he stood up and left quickly without another word.

  The next three weeks were hard for both of them. Kevin couldn’t concentrate at all, which had effects on his grades, his friends were worrying, but he didn’t tell them why he didn’t eat as much, sleep as much or even talk as much as he used to or why Joaquin wasn’t with him all the time like he used to, and seeing from Jughead’s behavior, his dad didn’t tell him. Kevin felt emotionally used, he wanted to hate his (former?) boyfriend, but couldn’t help to reach for his hip, where his hand had lied or almost call him, his thumb seemed to be frozen into spot right above the call button.

Joaquin wasn’t much better. He, too, didn’t watch his health and lied on his bed when F.P. didn’t need him to do whatever needed to be done. He didn’t know why exactly he behaved like this. He just had no clue what to do. Or what is body was doing while his mind wandered off. He caught his hand several times as it creeped over his mattress, looking for something, that wasn’t there. He didn’t charge his phone, afraid to get weak and call Kevin, even though the boy has made clear that he was angry with him.

Both boys vegetated through their lives, but Kevin had more people to look out for him. He didn’t lose as much weight as Joaquin. And people tried to talk to him about what happened. Joaquin had no one to talk to except for his cactus.

                        This led to Kevin’s breakdown as he sat with his friends in Pop’s diner. Veronica showed them her new haircut, it was about the length Joaquin’s hair had been when Kevin had last seen him. Veronica’s was a more female version though. Just as she turned around to show Betty how she had to straighten them, Kevin looked up from his now cold coffee. She looked so much like Joaquin mas he had shown him a tattoo on his neck.

Kevin let out a sob. Then another. Then he let out a ragged breath, murmured something about fresh air and stumbled out of the diner to the parking lots. As soon as he felt like there was enough distance between him and the diner to not be seen instantly, he vomited. But there wasn’t much to vomit, so he just gagged around air, his throat burned and his head felt way too light. He stumbled from the car he used for balance towards the diner. Someone was coming out, but Kevin didn’t recognize them before he fell face down on the ground.

Another voice, somehow common to him, called his name. The boy opened his eyes to see dark hair at shoulder length.

“Joa?” he asked with a raspy voice before wincing. His throat felt like he swallowed sour rain.

“No, I’m sorry. But Kevin, you got to get up. You got to drink. Archie’s calling your dad. We thought you were dying here.” Veronica let out a forced laugh. “And I can’t let you die on my favorite dress, can I?”

Betty came and kneeled next to him. She held a glass of water to his lips and he drank greedily. Pop came out too and handed the blonde an extra-large milk shake.

“He gonna need that. Saw his orders last few weeks. He needs the protein and sugar and whatnot.”

Kevin also drank the shake, though slower than the water, enjoying the sweet taste in contrast to the acid burn he felt before.

Just as he finished and properly sat up without help, his father’s car pulled into the parking lot. As soon as the car stood, the sheriff ran to him and kneeled down.

“Son? Son, can you hear me? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“None, dad, your hands are crashing my shoulders. I’m okay now. I’m just tired.”

His dad stood up, pulling him onto his feet and led him to the car after thanking Pop and Kevin’s friends for helping him. Pop declined the money he offered him.

When they came home, the sheriff made his son eat and take a bath before letting him sleep.

 Kevin slept until 3:40pm, having his first halfway decent sleep in weeks. He hadn’t notice how much this kind-of break up was draining him.

As he got up, he thought of what to do next. He couldn’t continue like this. He missed the warmth of Joaquin right next to him. He missed the way his kisses felt. He missed shoving his hands into the long hair when they kiss. He missed the smell of leather, hair gel and Joaquin. Even his room still smelt a bit like him, even though he hadn’t been there in a month or so.

At 5pm, Kevin was completely dressed, half a pizza was eliminated and a note was left for his dad. He had made his mind up.

 Joaquin had just finished his last job, paying a drug dealer, and now sat at the bar and sipped at some drink he didn’t even know the name of.

He thought of nothing specific as someone tapped his shoulder. He turned around and saw Kevin. Right in front of him.

“Wha…” he began but was interrupted as Kevin slapped him.

“That”, the brown haired boy said, ”was for using me! And that”, a slap on the other cheek, “was for not telling me!”

Then he brought up both his hands and gently laid them on his jaw.

“And that is for being you.”

Kevin kissed Joaquin with all he had, with all the pain and nothingness he had felt throughout the last weeks, with all the love he felt for the boy, with all the missing he had endured. And Joaquin kissed him back with as much emotion as him.

As they parted, both breathing heavy, they mustered each other, noticing the way both had lost weight and gained shadows under their eyes.

“I love you. I’m sorry we became a couple due to my wrong intentions, but I’m happy we did. I adore you so damn much. You are my pretty boy, my sweetie. And I doubt that’s gonna change in the near future.”

“You know, that’s so cheesy, if we would be closer to the heater, we would melt.” Both boys giggled before missing again.

“And by the way, I love you too.” Kevin mumbled with their lips touching. And kissed him. Which felt better than their first kiss. Better than the making out sessions. Better than the last kiss. But not as good as their next kiss. Because the kiss that is just happening will always be the best kiss. Because, well, because it’s happening.

 ~some extra F.P.-is-super-and-a-good-man-in-the-end-stuff but this isn’t necessarily part of the story~

A few days after the great becoming-a-couple-again action, Kevin came into the bar after school to pick up Joaquin for the movies. He stepped into the building and looked out for his boyfriend as someone shoved him.

“Oi, fag, stop blocking the way. You not allowed in here!”

Kevin wanted to apologize, but a familiar raven haired boy stepped to his side and slid his arm around his waist.

“Stop bothering my boyfriend, would ya?”

“Ya can’t tell me what to do! You little shit think you’re bette…”

“That’s enough!” F.P. walked down the stairs and towards them.

“Pete, if you got a problem with homosexuality, that’s okay. But it is not okay to treat someone as less worthy or disrespectful because of it! Y’all! I know some of you looked at them with disgust, but this is love! And I don’t care what’s your reason for being a homophobic little bitch, and as long as you don’t hurt them because of it, I will not care! But if you even think about it, I will give you what you deserve! And I don’t care if any of you will hate me for it, I will protect them! And if you have a problem with them kissing, tell me, not them! Let them live their lives!”

With that, he shushed the two boys out, mumbling something about late for date. Before he can close the door though, Joaquin wraps his arms around his neck, murmuring “you’re the best dad I could wish for.” before grabbing Kevin’s hand and dragging him towards the cinema.

[saintkimora]

ok so i have lots of things to say so im just gonna put it all in one post. its how school has been going, how my relationship w caleb is going, my rpdr pre season rankings, my thoughts on bbcan5 even though i havent watched a single episode, and my progress in botw

so first its school. so i literally failed my orgo test yesterday. i gave up on the last 2 synthesis questions bc i just didnt know what to do so thats like 30 points off right there. i most likely got this other synthesis and a mechanism question wrong so honestly i prob got like a 50. he drops the lowest test grade so i just need to step it up after this but like...rip. i studied but i got all the reactions and reagents and stuff mixed up in my head bc theres so many different things yet theyre all super similar so i just couldnt keep the information straight. so rip to my gpa this semester i guess

today sociology was cancelled so i just had psych and anatomy. i fell asleep in psych and anatomy was boring 

so today i had a date w caleb and it was v nice. BUT he asked if we could bring leeann along again!!! like wtf its been not even a week since that disaster of a date and you already want to bring her again??? like he really just does not get it smh but i said yes bc i didnt want him to think i was being difficult. luckily she was busy so she couldnt come anyways

we had lots of fun in the park! he like undid my jeans and started playing w my dick while we were sitting on some concrete block and it felt like i was in one of those porn videos that take place in the woods or something. there was like no one else there obv

he did say one thing that really got me pissed though. and i didnt think too much of it at the time like i was kinda :/ but then when i got home and thought about it some more i got a little upset about it. he called me on the phone to talk as usual and i told him about it and he felt really bad about it. he didnt think much of it in the moment but after i told him it bothered me i could tell he felt really bad and honestly? good! i hope he did feel bad about it bc he was being a dick for absolutely no reason

also i found out the stuff with alex! and like its so weird bc caleb has previous interactions with like 4/6 of the other guys ive been with. so ya apparently they both worked at mpowerment together and caleb just didnt like him lol. so today alex sent me a friend request on fb and followed me on insta bc he found both bc hes friends with/follows caleb on both things. and caleb posted a pic of me on insta w a bf goal type quote but once again it was NOT a good picture of me!!! i looked sooooooo pale bc of the lighting and my facial expression idek 

so i saw alex liked the pic and THEN tonight during our phone call caleb told me that alex messaged him on fb asking if him and i were together and caleb was like yeah and alex didnt respond so caleb asked why he was asking and alex just replied with “...” like he really is cracked! idk if hes like offended or something but like idk why he would think he has any chance with me after ive literally ignored like at least 10 total texts/messages/etc from him! like smh every time i think hes finally given up he tries to come back into my life like it was a one night thing stay away! *naomi campbell/naomi smalls voice* check your asshole before you come and talk to me

so yeah. that all w that. caleb wants to take me to the movies on saturday for our next date. but also another issue im starting to have is that caleb is starting to talk a LOT about eating my ass and fucking which is getting on my nerves bc i told him that it will be a while before we get to fucking and he keeps bringing it up its like being w freddy all over again

anyways. heres my final rpdr s9 pre season rankings

KIMORA >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> aja > shea >>>>> valentina > eureka > peppermint > alexis > nina > jaymes > trinity > sasha = farrah > charlie

literally the only 3 i actually like and am interested in are the first 3. valentina i dont like that much but i feel like im gonna end up ironically liking her. the middle ones idc and sasha farrah and charlie get on my nerves. alexis was in my top 3 when the cast was first revealed but after seeing some other stuff on her idk i dont think i like her. aja moved up to second bc shes funny on twitter. kimora is my fave obv. shea i like but im kinda worried shes gonna get a boring edit

and now for bbcan5! the only bbcan season ive seen is 3 but i am officially team ika and gary! idk which one i like more but those are my top 2. sindy is 3rd karen is 4th and i guess cass is 5th. i didnt like her on s4 but from what ive seen this season i think i like her. idc about the rest. tbh i dont plan to watch a single episode i just want ika gary or sindy to win 

now for zelda botw. i just finished the vah medoh quest. so i have 2/4 divine beasts done and im going for the gerudo one next. im just hoping to finally find some cute armor in the gerudo town bc i am sick of only finding ugly clothes! for the map i think i just need 1 more tower to finish it. i also killed my first guardian today which was satisfying but not really bc i didnt even know what i was doing bc it all happened to fast lol. ive also been kinda reckless w my horses bc i wanna see what happens in one dies but they are resilient! my horse accidentally got hit w the blast from a bomb arrow when i was trying to hunt and it caught on fire and still survived! i dont wanna straight up kill it bc thats weird but i want one of these horses to die already! i feel like it would add some drama. so ya my main focus rn is just exploring while slowly doing the divine beast quests