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#THE WAY THEY SMILE
uncanny-tranny · 5 months
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
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lilith-91 · 3 months
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Friendly reminder that Aang went from “Will you go penguin sledding with me?” in season 1 to absolute rizz god in season 3
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The Headband proves that Aang was such an absolute chad.
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saintforan · 4 months
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I think this lil guy reminds him of someone
ignore how messy it is, its like 5 am here n i needed 2 get this out of my system
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littlelightfish · 3 months
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Them <3
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polarsirens · 2 months
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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bertoyana · 2 months
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gay ass dialogue 😭😭😭 what do you mean ANNOYING SECRET SMILE LMAOOO be serious for ONCE man
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spacedykensfw2 · 6 months
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I realize that seeing subs uncomfortable/crying is The Thing for some folks, but when I’m watching porn I absolutely love seeing subs that are smiling and clearly enjoying themselves, maybe even getting a little goofy with it. Like when someone gets slapped across the face and just grins? Yeah. Smiling and agreeing with degrading names? Giggling when they gag particularly loudly? Even better: when the dom pauses during something somewhat intense/gross/kinky just to kiss their sub bc they’re doing so well, and they BOTH are smiling and enjoying themselves?????? God
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 5 months
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Transcript:
LET'S SETTLE THI- Oh hang on. Hang on, Machine, um.
It's 8 PM I need to take my testosterone.
Sorry I'll just be a second. Uh wait here, alright?
Audio Source
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zipadeea · 6 months
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"You fell in love with God...like Jesus?"
Twenty minutes in and the new Percy Jackson is the best thing I've ever seen.
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gabrielapazlima · 5 months
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NEW MERCH!!!!OMG LOOK AT THEM🥺🥺🥺♥️♥️♥️
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comradekatara · 3 months
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oh book 1 gaang....... my silly rabbits <333
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spidertroupeart · 18 days
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Mostly me figuring out how to draw them, ft. Charlie's homunculus bullshit
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rocktheholygrail · 2 months
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Hannibal (2013-2015)
1x11 - “Rôti”
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i-mode · 26 days
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procrastinating on my work
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redmyeyes · 2 months
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“I don’t matter?” “Not even to the most obsessive tennis fan in the entire world.” “I’m not talking about tennis.”
CHALLENGERS (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino
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