#THE WAY YOU HYPE ME UP IS UNREAL !!!!

[unknownarmageddon]

HOZIER

HOZIER!!!!!

[deluluonmyback]

impulsivity in bpd can be cutting and dyeing your hair, but it’s also frying and destroying your hair to a point where it’s completely ruined and you’re self conscious of it everyday.

impulsivity in bpd can be having an attitude and saying some petty things to people, but it’s also ruining every good friendship and relationship you’ve ever had and you can’t stop yourself from sabotaging everything, so you end up alone in a deep pit.

impulsivity in bpd can be having some drinks, doing dr*gs, or having a lot of meaningless sex. but it’s also relying on drinking and dr*gs so much that you’re completely off your face all time and it ruins your image and every aspect of your life. and it’s also no one wanting a relationship with you because you “sleep around” or “probably have an std”.

impulsivity in bpd can be browsing an fps facebook. but it’s also stalking their every move online and their every step in the real world constantly because you need them so bad. you can’t live without knowing if they’re okay, knowing what they’re doing, knowing if they’re leaving you for someone else, etc.

the list goes on. us borderlines post a lot of shit about bpd, and in my personal case, laughing it off and sharing it to others makes me feel a bit better and i know that it makes others feel less alone knowing that other people are doing the same horrendous shit. but stop romanticising being obsessive, quirky, impulsive, and having an attitude. it’s fucking painful. the emotional aspect is PHYSICALLY painful. watching the world crumble around us because most of us can’t fucking stop ourselves is painful. the withdrawals from substances, s/h, etc because we are so prone to addiction is PAINFUL. i’m all for supporting our fellow borderlines and cluster b peoples, but STOP self diagnosing to be “trendy”. i’m not on about self diagnosing, etc if you’re certain and it means you’re getting the support that you absolutely need. everyone is deserving of help, whether healthcare wants to agree or not, EVERYONE deserves the help they need. but stop trying to make bpd sound fun. being euphoric is fun, the rest of it IS NOT. ITS FUCKING PAINFUL. thank u bye 💕

(ps. i hate making rant posts about this, but seeing people act like bpd is a “fun choice” in life pisses me the fuck off, every day is just pure fucking suffering. the people romanticising and hyping this shit up are the same people who will talk shit about any cluster b who is showing symptoms or having one hell of an episode. but this NEEDS to be out there x)

(edit: the amount of support i’ve had on this is unreal 😭❤️ i tried to word this the best i can but when i have a lot to say it often comes out making no fucking sense at all or something comes off the wrong way. i saw someone reply about the yanderes shit. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. i don’t know why the fuck people fetishise it, it makes me feel disgusting to have an fp even if i’m keeping as far away from them as possible. and also the “euphoric is fun”, i still do a lot of embarrassing and over the top shit when i’m euphoric that i regret. but in the moment, the happiness i feel i just embrace now because it’s not been often that i ever get to feel like that. thank you so much for the likes and reblogs, i really hope this post has helped y’all. I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️)

[beesfairlyland]

How to get you Desires instantly?...jk...just wanna talk about my take on 'void state'!!

First of all i hate the word void (not kinda hate hate...but the way ppl are obsessed over it... even i was once lol). After studying the concept of Non-Duality the way i used to see the void ...the way i used to put it on pedestal (i cringed😭) it all changed. I realised we are putting something on the pedestal to which we give the existence.

Void is nothing more than a state that exists because YOU give your awareness to it. Void is a state just like Bee(me) is a state that SELF created! There's nowhere to reach/enter.

Void is nothing but just to be aware of being unconscious. To be aware while this body sleeps.

Okayy I'll ask you to simply meditate....not to reach anywhere...not to enter void....not to get your desires.

Soo first get in comfortable position to meditate.

Now just focus on your breathing, let the thoughts pass by don't engage with them. Just watch them and keep your focus on breathing.

Slowly your mind will start to quieten. As your are observing all this happening. You'll know that you are just the observer of thoughts...you are not the thought....these thoughts ain't yours but of this unreal mind's.

This meditation is to just make you realise that you are the awareness behind these thoughts not the thought itself.

Continue focusing on the breathing. There will be a moment where the mind will become silent and that's when you are one with the awareness. That's the NON-DUAL STATE aka the void state.

This meditation is not to reach the non dual state.... it's to know that you are the observer doesn't matter if the mind goes silent or not. Just to experience who you are try this meditation with zero expectations. If mind got silent great!! But if it didn't then also greatt!!

Now the main problem/mistake that ppl do while meditating for the non-dual state(void state). They don't let the mind think itself....they think with the mind themselves. Didn't understand? Wait lemme explain....you don't let the mind wander or think on it's own instead you yourself start thinking....if i am doing it right, how much more time, it'll be happening soon bla bla.

Just only coz y'all 'try' the void to get your 'desires' that feeling makes you anxious. Getting everything all at once sounds too good to be true to the ego (tho you ALREADY have everything) soo it starts getting anxious and that's totally opposite of meditating.

When bloggers say 'void' is easy....IT ISSS. But this ego don't wanna believe it.

And no you really don't need to affirm, or do methods, listen to subliminals, need a void concept (lol wtf is even that), LITERALLY NOTHING. IT'S JUST A STATE THAT YOU BECOME AWARE OF!!

It's just you are aware of getting your 'desires' instantly... that's why you get your 'desires' instantly. Void ain't your purest form or something. It's just a state from which you can experience you being the awareness from the closest (or may be not).

Literally ppl have hyped it soo much that now it's toxic. I am not against the 'void state'. But the way ppl ruin their mental health by putting something like this on the pedestal....it shrinks my heart. Coz I've been thru that and i don't want y'all go thru the same phase of exhaustion.

Just know that it's just a made up state just like this ego is made up by the SELF. Nothing special at all!!

Hope i could convey what i wanted too!🫶🏻✨

-Love, bee💗🧚🏻‍♀️

[letters2won]

10 things I hate about you

01: on my bucket list

half written, 0.6k

You tapped your foot aggressively by the gates near the soccer field as Beomgyu finally makes his way over to you with a juice box and a half eaten hot dog.

“Seriously Gyu?” you huffed out with furrow eyebrows. With ketchup all over his mouth, he gave you a puzzled look before he handed over the other half of his hot dog.

“UGH! I know, I know! I’m such a cool president but save the compliments for later my disciple” he laughed out proudly, making sure to pat you on the back harshly as he made his way to the bleachers.

You gave him a puzzled face, it was baffling how free spirited he was. To be honest it’s starting to scare you. Your face scrunched up at the sight of the hot dog that was falling apart in your hand before finally tossing it into the trash can.

You were too busy cleaning your hands to notice the game started. Clasping your hands together with closed eyes, you begged to get this over with quickly before rushing to the field.

Your camera dangled around your neck while you looked for a spot to take pictures of the boys. Not wanting to be close to the two teams fighting over the ball you opted for the corner of the field. You were getting ready to snap a few pictures when all of a sudden an aggravating noise came from behind you.

It was Beomgyu, he was cheering like he won an over watch match. Somehow he was decked out with face paint of the school color all over him and a big poster board which had “Decelis Soccer team #1 fan” written on it.

He felt a chill go down his spine out of no where til he realized you were shooting daggers at him. He gave you a sheepish smile and thumbs up while you gave him a tight lipped smile.

You turned back around with an actual smile this time as you think of how unreal Beomgyu is when you hear him let out a few barks. You shook your head and finally began to shoot.

You managed to get shots of the boys scoring points and hyping each other up, even sneaking a few of the crowds supporting them with cheers. Scrolling through the pictures, you failed to realize the ball aiming right at you and the quick “WATCH OUT!”

The voices went in and out as your eyelids grew heavy. The last thing being heard was a panicked voice going, “oh shit i killed her!?”

When you awoke from your slumber, your head was pulsing as you sat up. “Yn you’re up?! I thought you died on us!” Gaon cried out while running over to cry into your shirt.

You looked up to see all your friends sighing in relief, “Okay why is he crying about me being dead and why on earth is Eumppappa is here?” you deadpanned as you rub Gaon back comforting him.

“For moral support—” Gyuvin began cooing at his dog causing you to roll your eyes.

He then continued, “plus you got hit in the face with the soccer ball in front of everyone!” he snorted.

You groaned before banging your head on the wall behind you on accident, wincing in the process. “Gyu even got it on camera!” Chuu blurted out.

“Chuu that was between us!”

“oops. .”

“Gyu you are SOO dead when i recover.”

Beomgyu waved you off absentmindedly, “I guess you don’t want to see who sent the ball flying in your direction~” he teased.

“NO! Tell me. . please”

He smiled in victory before pulling his video to show you. He slowed down the video and zoomed into someone with jersey number 01 on the back.

You’re eye twitched as you clenched your blanket while Beomgyu laughed loudly, “No way!”

“Lee Heeseung is dead meat the next time I see him!”

⤷ first chapter! i really don’t like how the written part came out but it’ll have to do as it still trying to get better at writing🤕

masterlist | backward | forward

SYNOPSIS ౨ৎ Lee Heeseung has it all, he’s captain of the soccer team, popular, charming and hilarious (at least in his eyes). What he doesn’t have though is a girlfriend OR a prom date making him desperate. You on the other hand want nothing to do with him or his silly problems, but how come you two are always clashing heads in the end?

TAGLIST < open > @eclipse-777 @saursoob @rosas-in-the-garden @enha-stars @rikizm @ramenoil @winuvs @semisemirin1i82 @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @hee-yunie @patchofblue @sincerelyrki @badaswifey @kaispulshies @hae-luvr @aespaslut @llvrhee @grah127 @manooffline @haechology @hajunzi @sunghoonsgff @jaeyunluvr @jentlecoeur @ak-aaa-li @cyberinnie @seiamor @rikimylove @thesassy-mia @hexoolio @eleanorheartschishiya @dimplewonie @autumn583 @jeongintwt @aerohmantics @miumiuestmoi @yoongisbaguetteshoes @isoobie @heeoao @letwiiparkjay @lowjilamoon @letmein2urheart @thatonedemigodfromseoul @scoupsworld @hrts4hees @splat00z | bold can’t be added

[pepi1989]

Please write more Ben Shelton fluff? Smth like you being a pro tennis player, maybe even ranked a bit higher in women’s tennis and teaming up for a mixed doubles and it’s super cute and flirty and accidental physical touches like hand holding or brushing hands etc or after winning sets he hugs you tight or pecks your cheek etc stuff like that??? Thank youu

omg first request?? loved writing this

Courtside Chemistry - Ben Shelton

The stadium lights shone bright as the mixed doubles match was about to begin. You glanced over at Ben Shelton, already grinning as he bounced on the balls of his feet, adjusting his racket. Ranked 13th in the world, he had that natural confidence that made everything look effortless, but it was the unspoken chemistry between you two that made this match interesting.

“Ready to carry me?” Ben asked, flashing you a playful smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

You raised an eyebrow, laughing softly. “Carry you? Pretty sure I’m ranked higher, remember?”

His grin widened. “Touché.”

The banter eased the tension, but as the match kicked off, it was game on. The two of you moved in perfect sync, rallying back and forth with your opponents, but every now and then, there’d be a soft brush of skin, an accidental touch that left you hyperaware of his presence.

At one point, you both lunged for the same ball, and your fingers tangled. His hand wrapped briefly around yours, sending a spark up your arm.

“Didn’t mean to steal your shot,” he teased, though his fingers lingered just a little too long.

You rolled your eyes, though a small smile tugged at your lips. “You can leave the shots to me, Shelton.”

The match was neck-and-neck, but you both held your ground, with Ben hyping you up between points. “You’re unreal out here,” he murmured after a particularly tough volley.

His voice was soft, and for a second, you almost forgot you were in the middle of a match. “Focus, Shelton,” you reminded him, though your own heart was racing faster than usual.

When the two of you won the first set, Ben turned to you immediately, arms wide open. Before you could react, he pulled you into a tight hug, the warmth of his body catching you off guard. “We’re on fire!” he whispered in your ear, his breath sending shivers down your spine. And just like that, he pressed a quick peck to your cheek, so fast you weren’t sure it even happened. But judging by the smug look on his face, it definitely did.

“Was that necessary?” you asked, trying to keep your cool, though the blush creeping up your neck betrayed you.

“Absolutely,” he winked.

In the second set, things heated up even more. You could feel the eyes of the crowd, but all your attention was on Ben. His constant encouragement, his little laughs when you made a great shot, and the way he’d nudge your shoulder every time you passed each other.

And then, during one particularly intense point, you both dashed towards the net at the same time. You barely managed to return the ball when you collided with him, chest-to-chest. The ball went out of bounds, but neither of you moved, standing frozen in place, faces inches apart.

“Guess we make a good team, huh?” Ben said, voice low, his eyes locked on yours.

You swallowed, feeling the heat of his body so close to yours. “Yeah,” you breathed out, barely able to focus.

When you won the second set and the match, Ben wasted no time. Before the crowd even started cheering, he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close again. “Guess I’m lucky to have the world’s best partner,” he said softly, his voice a little more serious now, as he pressed another kiss to your cheek, this one lingering longer than the first.

The crowd roared, but all you could think about was the way Ben’s hand felt on your waist and how he seemed a little reluctant to let go.

[whor3-chata]

jarren in bed ;))

im ovulating pls pls excuse this insanity😭

warning! straight smut lmaooo

18+ only!! reader has a pussy but no pronouns used :)

jarren's biiiig on eye contact

“cmon baby look at me” “eyes here cmon” “eyes on me”

also lives to mark you up

if you say not in visible places he’ll stick to that but nothing makes him feel more satisfied than looking at that physical proof of the pleasure he gives you

your thighs, chest, collarbone 

also big on leaving handprints, whether that's handprints on your ass or just marks from holding onto your waist that tight

and loves when you leave marks on him as well 

scratches down his back, hickies, whatever you have to give he will take

but he's not just a taker 

he needs a little encouragement but once you hype him up his head game will take you to new dimensions

hands gripping your thighs, keeping your legs spread for him, juices dripping down his chin, completely pussy drunk

initially he didn’t think he was that good but the ego boost he gets by getting you off from just his mouth is its own kind of high and just encourages him more

on the other hand, he goes completely slack jawed, eyes rolled back and empty brained when you wrap your lips around his cock

he swears there's nothing like it, even what you might feel isn’t your best doesn't fail to make him crazy

but he truly cannot fathom a better feeling than when he finally presses his cock into your warmth 

the sounds you make and the look on your face and just the way your body responds to him 

but once he's made sure you’re ok and comfortable he always sets a brutal pace

pounding into you and god does it feel good

he’ll throw in a little “this one works for you?” “feels good like this?” "yeah? is that good baby?" making sure its still feeling good and teasing you a little ofc

he has an appreciation for doggy and cowgirl but he loves being able to set a merciless pace and watch each reaction on your face

missionary is a classic for a reason! 

almost always ends up with him leaning down with his head by your face

he’s able to hear all the little sounds you make

and your ears are filled with all of his encouragements and moans

you can always tell when he’s close to his high 

his panting gets faster and more intense

and he really loses the ability to form any sort of coherent thought outside of the sensations running through both of your bodies 

“fuck fuck fuck fuck baby fuck fuck fuck”

your moans and the tightening between your legs and your nails cutting into his shoulders and scratching down the length of his back all combine for the ultimate symphony to drive him over the edge

and in turn the white hot sensations running down the base of your spine are truly the combination of his brutal pace along with his grip on your hip and hot breath on your neck and groans into your ear

he maybe didn’t quite get it the first few times but once you suggested he try touching your clit he felt like he had the cheat code 

not only does it make you go crazy and react so beautifully with

he can't get over your sounds and the way your back arches

but it makes you clench down on his dick in a way that feels unreal

he makes sure you finish before him, if only because seeing you go over the edge makes it feel so much better for him

once you’ve both caught your breath he’s the one to carry you to get you cleaned up

he's really big on communication and talking through how you’re feeling and making sure that you felt good the whole time

if you have any feedback or suggestions he will absolutely keep that in mind for the next time and check in

even when it comes to going to sleep after he’ll make sure you know how good it was for him

murmuring praise into your skin as he drifts off

[haechurch]

forgetting me, forgetting you

It's not the way that jeno doesn't look at you the same. It's not the way of him chasing after a girl and leaving you behind in the evening downpour. It's not the way jeno said he didn't even love you that night. It's just nothing but your broken heart.

pairing: idol!jeno x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff (kinda), angstt

wc: 4.8+k

warnings: minors dni, unprotected sex, oral (m, f receive), spitting, kind of meanie jeno, implied exhibitionist, degrading, praising, spanking, teasing, fingering, tons of pet name, hard and soft sex, etc etc, you know when i said idol and fan relationship its just so unreal as well as how their jobs work lmao ((i had a problem to make this at least a lil bit realistic) also not seem too delusional but- just pls dont @ me, i mean its a fic)

! how embarrassing that this shit got posted accidentally (i hate tmblr) my pupils were literally shaking lol. for those who might accidentally saw this (i know theres not even a soul who cares abt it..) ofc i had this to be revised also its inspired by rv song, in my dreams, (originally the title for this one but i changed it!) i might also have songs recommendation, its [coldplay-yellow > conan gray-astronomy > yoari-dice game > exo-hurt > davichi-forgetting you > red velvet-in my dreams]

Everything was pandemonium from the start. You saw jeno in person for the first time in the concert venue. Yes. He is the singer. That singer. A born-talented, handsome, lovable idol from nct. He didn't even know you were there, in the crowd of audience hyping his band up. Never in your dreams you thought you'd met him in person, but fate brings you two together. It was what you believed until then. Fate brings your jeno who has never been yours in the first place to kindly remind you that he will never be yours even at the end of the time.

You worked hard for your pay. You work as an employee (that mostly work for dreamies) under jeno's company after you earned your post graduate title while studying in korea. That point when you made it out, you never even thought that this was a real chance to finally get him.

That's just insane, to get lee jeno, in a somehow, romantic way. But you tried anyway. Ordinary person with an extraordinary person? Or can you just say idols and fans relationship? That jeno from all the people living on this earth? Mostly impossible. Those who live around you will think you're crazy for wanting someone who literally exists in a different world from you. Even though you're 'coexisting' with him and seeing him from time to time, that would not be enough; so near yet so far.

It's so hard to work under the company and let it flow at first. Without a will, you'll never get what you want. Even though this one is nearly impossible, you attempt to keep the mindset that revolves around you: it will work if you try, try, try and try.

But it's useless. Who do you think you are? You can't even be allowed to speak nor get close to him except if it's necessary. It's hard to work with him like a normal acquaintance. To them, to jeno, you're simply invisible. 

However, you did make it clear enough. No surrendering. That's the least you can keep in mind. 

But again, he didn't even spare you a glimpse.

Then there was this day when you two were put together in the same dressing room, waiting for some interviews coming up. There's actually no reason for you to not share the same room because technically, you're their regular staff. The rest of the members and other staff were nowhere to be found, it was you and him. You and jeno all alone in the same room. You nearly choked yourself when you were about to open your mouth as jeno scooted to where you sat. 

"Hi." He lightly started the conversation. You swear to god you can hear your own heartbeat. Keeping yourself calm and professional, you hum and put the sweetest smile to him. "Hello."

"I'm so sorry if i sound rude, but i believe we're around the same age? I've been seen you around and i just knew you're a regular staff in here," you intensely stared at him, eyes widened in disbelief that he just casually- 

"We can be friends if you wan-" 

"We can?!"

-asked you to be his friend.

Realizing you just replied to him in 0,023 seconds, you covered your mouth and muttered 'sorry' to him. He just laughed. Oh. That laugh.

That's when you feel like you two were 'getting closer' as he asked you to be his friend for some idiotic reason (u really have no idea why the universe would gave you this kind of, miracle, you'd say, but you're fucking grateful).

Of course you can be friends with everyone. Also a staff (fan) and an artist couldn't be an exception, right? But once again who are you kidding, lee jeno is super busy, and you should know it could probably the friendship that only lasts for four hours.

You didn't meet jeno for weeks and you missed him so bad. Sometimes you got to talk to him after he befriend you (tho it happens only if you had that rare chance) but both of you didn't get a long time to properly talk and have a good conversation. And it's been a long time, you just missed him.

Did he perhaps miss you too? Did he ever think about you even just for a split second? You shake your head from the thoughts and scoff at yourself. He probably already erased you from his memory. And that night, you drifted into a deep slumber whilst thinking about how he wouldn't remember you.

―

But you were dead wrong. That day was very hot because apparently, it's in the middle of summer, and you were called for a job in a broadcasting house which happened to be the same place for the band to attend their schedule.

You're standing in front of a vending machine, getting a drink when you hear someone call your name. You turned around and found jeno, looking at you with his smiling eyes.

"Jeno!? What are you doing here?" You can't hide your pearly whites when you see him, so please meet him again after a while.

"We're having some jobs here. How about you?" He asked. 

"Um, me too! But mine's still running, i take a little coffee break right before come back to the site. Have you finished yours?"

"Yes, actually," jeno scratched his nape awkwardly before he continued. "Uhh, do you perhaps want to meet me after you are done? Just for a sec?" He asked.

"Sure! I'll text you when i'm done?" 

Yes, you both are having each other's numbers but can't even communicate a single thing through it. He didn't text you. And you, being the one who shamelessly asked for his numbers which he gladly gave it, never once texts him because as you can see, you're being professional enough to keep your words that it's only for the matter of work.

"Cool." You both smiled to each other and stood awkwardly for a good seconds until jeno left. 

So, did he just wait for you until you're done because he said he just finished his schedule? Is that even possible for him to do that?

The answer is yes. Though with a little bit of delay. He asked you to meet him after you're done, just to have you wait for him in the nearby cafe for nearly 20 minutes.

Jeno: uhh hi its jeno

Jeno: im so sorry for keeping you waiting

You: oh hii

You: nah its okayy not a biggie

Jeno: its the manager hyung, i told him i have to go somewhere but you know its hard to cooperate with them :/

Jeno: look i promise it will just need to b arranged real fast okay

You: okaaay i know youre busy you can really take your time tho

Jeno: so sorry ;(((

You: jeno its fine :*

You: :(

Jeno: thanjk you for the understanding ;)

Jeno: ill be there in.. 5 mins?

You: ill be here waiting!

You were smiling like crazy reading his texts. All you did was blushing and heart skipping while replying to him. He was so cute. And it's the first time you guys exchange texts. And he did it first! (how its a big deal for you)

Then there he is. Entering the cafe with a little skip and making a bee line to your table then sit down in front of you. 

"Right on time." He said jokingly. You just chuckled at him.

"Sooo what's up? What is it that you wanted to talk about in your very packed schedule, busy bee?"

He exhaled harshly before replying. "Nothing. Just wanna get out and have some fresh air."

He averted his gaze to yours before continue, "with my new friend." 

You raised one of your eyebrows at the boy. "Yeah? I thought you already forgot me because i was just simply a girl that worked at your company," you talk as you fold your hands.

"Why would i? I'll remember you anyway. You once fell in front of me when you were about to open some door and that actually was funny as hell. Shouldn't laugh but i can't help it. Oops. Should have not told you this part too..."

Your face heated in a second, and yes, you did that and it was humiliating and you felt very stupid. That time you were about to enter the conference room at the company building, but jeno (also the other members were there) was opening the door at the same time, unfortunately you stumbled on your feet and ended up kneeling at his.

He take a glance at you again then continue. "And you're pretty pretty."

You immediately looked up to him. You can't explain how his sudden confession affect you so much and leave your heart throbbing like crazy. 

Fortunately you can keep your act.

You chuckled and replied, "and what's that supposed to mean."

"I'm just saying that you're beautiful." 

He surely knows how to mess with your heart.

"And i'm getting worried that your eyes might have a problem," you laughed, more to laughing at yourself.

"No. I meant it."

You looked at him again, flustered, and he smiled when he saw you taken aback. A mischievous smile to be exact.

"Are you flirting with me?" Of course you were kidding. Asking that kind of question sounds nonchalant, even have no shame. But you had nothing to lose anyway.

"Would you accept it?" 

You blinked rapidly, your heart beating so fast in your chest, your palms were sweaty. He got you questioning yourself on how you can not fall for him even more? It's getting even deeper every minute you spend your time with him. He's dangerous. 

You were stunned for a moment. You felt like your cheeks burned, they're emitting flame. Your head short circuited for a while yet all you can think about is jeno. Jeno jeno jeno and jeno. The moment you can't hold it back from spilling, you just let it burst.

"I like you." 

Oh, you don't even care anymore about your image. The moment you spit that you felt like the most stupid, dense person alive on earth.

"I know." 

He responded in a heartbeat, and you felt fire burn a hole into you.

"You what?"

"I said i know. I noticed. And i do to."

"I'm so lost." You started to believe that you're out of your mind.

"I'm saying that i like you too."

Your pupils doesn't even falter when you stare at his face. You might just scream or gasp or even cry, but you were too stunned to speak, the way you were so calm also surprised yourself. You shake your head as you doubt your hearing and gave him a bitter smile.

"You're joking."

"Yes." 

Your eyes widen from his answer. He's such a prankster. 

"Jeno!"

He laughed. His laugh is so carefree but feels shy at the same time, that is just screaming lee jeno so much.

"So what am i supposed to say? You already heard me."

"I'm just trying to seek clarity." You narrow your eyes playfully. Now you don't even know where the confidence in you came from.

"You're my clarity." 

Now that sounds straight up came from a song lyric.

This whole time you think that you're crazy for wanting lee jeno, but here you are having a little cafe date and knowing him to have the same feeling as you are.

-

"Ah!" you squeal as your head thud against the hard surface.

"Sorry," jeno apologized as he giggled, then continue to peppering kisses down your neck.

Both of you were alone in a room at the backstage, making out like crazy before he bring you to the nearest table and pin you down. You sigh blissfully, thanking heaven every time your bodies this close, that you finally have jeno for your own and not anybody else. It's not the first time that he finally touched you, but every single one of his touches feels like the first time.

Oh, of course that didn't just happen in a night. He's been so sweet and kind to you that you mistaken his deed as something more than platonic relationship.

He bought you food. He told the manager to drop you off at your apartment at night when the schedule's over. You both go to the staff's cafeteria and eat lunch together. You offer him to go cycling together when he's off, and he did. He lent you his airpods when you lost one. You brewed his morning coffee. He called you one night and said that he's missing you. You asked him if you can do the same, texting or calling him as a normal friend would do despite both of your jobs. And that one night where he sneaked out to your apartment just to say that he wanted you.

That moment you thought everything is indeed possible. 

"Jen! Wait!"

He's currently railing you stupid at the backstage.

Now both of your hands were on the wall, legs spread open for him to easily pound you from the back. 

"Shit, this pussy's so tight." He slowed down, dragging his cock precise and keen, watching how his length appeared then disappeared inside your pussy.

"You like that baby?"

Your ears are buzzing, eyes fluttering, you only mewl and all you can hear is squelching sounds from how wet your pussy is before he sped up, skins clapping resonated all over the room.

When you didn't answered, he stopped and brings your hair to a ponytail then yanked your head up so your back is now against him as he whispered, "i said, am i fucking you good, little slut?" Well he can be cruel sometimes, but both of you know his mouth isn't that dirty on daily basis. He's just having his moment.

"Fuck yes," you finally speak.

Jeno railed into you again, he prop you to stand up, right hand on your hip, clamping so hard it'll leave bruises, and left hand grasping at your jaw to make you face him, his lips ghosting between your ear and lips, heavy breathing and all.

When he brushed against your earlobe, he whispered right onto your ear, "open your fucking mouth."

You obliged, as he bent your neck back and you presented all of yourself in front of him, he spit into your mouth. "Perfect. Keep it there like a good girl you are." 

Jeno started to pick up pace again, this time hitting your spot deliciously over and over, sending you to the cloud nine.

You agape as you moan, all while your mouth full of your and his spit, nonetheless making an effort to keep jeno's words but you're already drooling all over your chin.

"J-jen.."

"Shh, no need to say a thing baby girl, keep your pretty mouth shut."

Jeno suddenly lift you up and prop your back against the table. He's hovering over you, tapping your cheek, oblige you to open your mouth again, and spit another glob into yours.

"Now keep that warm and safe, you could do that, right angel?"

He asked and you only nodded in response. "That's it. Now let me make you feel good."

He spread your dangling legs by pushing on your thighs then dragging his hard and big cock along your slit, making a quite lubrication.

You're a whiny mess, never in your life you thought you'd have sex with lee jeno in a random room on their backstage, and he's pretty wild at the moment.

Before you can process a thing, he's already on his knee, eating you out slowly. You tug at his hair and hoist your hip up, but he's keeping you in place. He's taking his time, kitten licking at your opening with a slow pace, sucking softly at the clit, but it already making you tremble and wanting more. He's keeping the act for a while before the frustrations hit you.

"Jeno, hurry the fuck up."

He stop doing his ministrations, and as he pissed off, he suddenly lift you up again, your front pushed to the nearest wall.

"What did i just say to you? Shut your fucking mouth. Don't fucking speak. Why did you speak?"

He landed a couple of hard slap against your ass, making you yelp and shriek, "i-m sorry, please," your head drooped, your body trembling, but not from fear.

It's excitement.

Another slap on your ass. "Please what? Tell me, angel, what is it?

He kneaded your flesh and put his length between your ass cheek, nuzzling it sensually, and it made you bite your lip hard, can't take his teasing no more.

"Please," you almost sob. "Please, jeno, fuck me."

You beg, and he immediately bend you fully over again, both of his hands were on your hips as he fuck you into oblivion.

"Princess wanna get fucked. What she wants, she gets." 

He kissed his teeth before he rammed into you, hitting that sweet spot precisely over and over again it felt so good. Your hands and legs almost gave up, but he grabbed your hip in place. As you moan and scream for him, he keep chanting that he want you to come for him.

"Jeno, i'm fucking close- fuck," your hair is tangled, you're a drooling mess, your eyes rolled up. He fuck you so good it leave you dumb. Jeno's hips never once falter, he keep fucking into you rapidly as you whine non stop.

"Fuck, come all over me. Come on," he encouraged you.

"Coming!" You're a moaning mess, pussy can't help but tightened around him, making him curse under his breath. He continue to pistoning as he chasing his high, prolonged your own orgasm.

"Fuck, gonna cum," his thrust remain steady until it finally stopped, buried so deep inside you as he fill you up to the brim. Jeno finally pulled out, your hands and elbow propped against the wall as you arched your back while bending over, giving him a full sight of your ass and pussy overflowing with his cum. 

"Shit.." jeno cursed as he ran a hand through his fringe.

You felt your bodies emitting fog from the fever, glistening with sweat.

Just after that, you both heard a knock and someone's shouting.

"Are you guys done there? Jeno, get your loud ass out there right now, we're running out of time." 

You wouldn't miss whose voice it was.

It's fucking na jaemin. You felt embarrassment creep down your spine when you realized he found out, although nothing like the rest of the members doesn't know about the relationship you two have. But still, caught red handed fucking in the backstage with his band mate is a little bit..

"That's embarrassing.." you sigh while covering your face, making jeno chuckled as he patted your head.

"He'll get used to it." He smiled like a puppy, as he not merely fuck you senseless just now.

-

You said that it's embarrassing. But it seems like you're liking how unusual things did give you some thrilling sensations you can't explain. Since then, you've had sex with jeno in the void meeting room when everybody's leaving from work. It's giving you anxiety on what if someone's barge in, or the worst-you'd get kicked out from the company and never ever get the same job even at the different place again-but funnily, you can't resist the good feeling jeno made you and the realization that you were actually enjoying the shit, eventually not giving any fuck if someone know.

Another day of you and jeno spending time together in the same room, giving some different kind of affections to each other. And you're just too afraid to say something; to ask him: 'what are we?' Because you couldn't be more happy with what's happening between you two now. And tonight is a bit different because you feel your heart ache in the way he hold you as he won't let go.

"Jeno.." you arched your back when his tongue trailed from your abdomen up to your breasts while he attempted to unclasp your bra.

After freeing the flesh, he mumbled in awe, "beautiful."

He latched his tongue on your nipple, swirling it with purpose, to make you even wet just for him, and him only, just like the way he liked it.

"Fuck, it feels so good, don't stop," you pulled on his hair, a signal for him to keep going. 

"Yeah? You like that, pretty girl?" Jeno kneaded on your swell as he sucked again on your nipple.

"Louder. Moan louder for me." And that's what you did. Your fucked up sounds is a music to his ears, railing him up to the extent where he just wanted to sink in you. 

Jeno cupped your sex, your panties were damp in arousal. "Shit, look at you. So fucking wet." He slid his fingers up and down your panties before he slipped his fingers in. You whimpered when his cold digit met your folds. He only play with your opening and clit, but it already drive you crazy. You're practically drooling, he's collecting your essence on his fingers before he bring it up to his mouth, tasting your arousal. You huff and puff, look already fucked up before him when he barely did anything.

"So pretty. So fucked up. So needy for me."

All you did is fucking whine. Lee jeno is driving you insane.

"Please," you plead. "Jeno,"

"Hm? What is it princess?" He asked with a sweet mocking tone.

"Fingers. Want your fingers inside me." You sternly told him, but your gaze was infirm.

He chuckled then replied, "of course baby, you'll have it. But later. I have to taste you first. Will you let me?"

He asked for your permission and what on earth is stopping you from letting him eat you out? Of course you would never say no.

"Pleasee," your whiny voice made him smile from ear to ear in satisfaction.

"Love it when you beg."

Jeno get down to eye level with your pussy before dive in. Your hips wouldn't stop thrusting up to him and pulling his hair, his strong hands looping on your thighs. At this rate his face buried deep between you legs and tongue prod into your cunt, exploring your hole, lips trying so hard to swallow you up, open mouthed kiss at your pussy, sucking and lapping. He's eating you out like there's no tomorrow. 

"Fuck, i think i'm gonna cum."

Jeno chuckled, "already? So spoilt."

Jeno bring his fingers down and curled the digit expertly inside your pussy, you're wiggling like crazy when he reached that sweet spot that got your pussy tightening around him, then he sucked your clit hard, made you cum in instant at his doing.

You gradually came down from your high and stared at him in the eye, begging.

"Jeno, please, let me suck you off."

He feels like he's flying up the cloud seeing you prettily begged for him. Then he smiled, "can't say no to a pretty girl like you."

You bit your lip before you kneeled in front of him, taking a hand of his hard cock and kissed the tip. You hold onto his balls while you licked and sucked along his shaft until your tongue met with the tip, then sink into his cock, swallowing him whole. You bobbed your head up and down, sucking in intensity. He groaned and bring his hand through your hair, while he got his head thrown back against the headboard.

"You're doing so good baby, keep going."

He hissed painfully, his muscles clenched and his grab on your hair is getting tight. Your left hand massaging his balls, mouth sucking at the tip, the other hand stroking the rest of his shaft.

"Fuck, i'm not gonna last." He hold your head and thrust into your mouth, chasing his high. Your gagged sound heard all over the room, eyes pricked from tears. His groan went louder and that's when he came all over your mouth, and you swallowed all of his seed like a good girl, his good girl.

You lap all of his fluid, cleaning his cock clean, and lick your own lips.

"God you're pretty." His stare full with admiration, then he caged you between his arms, locked your lips with his in a passionate kiss. Tongue dancing with each other, nipping at one's lip. Both of you moan into the kiss, until he break it first.

Your back arched so high, hips pressed against his own, wanted more just than kissing him, but he pushed your belly down and leaned in.

"Need you now. Need to make love to you."

Once again, your heart sank at his confession. You're already tearing up as he pushed his big cock into you, soon picking up a steady pace to thrust between your wall, all while kissing you out. His kiss felt so soft and sweet, but also fragile at the same time. Your bodies met, no space in between. You hug him tightly, so afraid that he might just run away or disappear in the blink of an eye. He made you feel so good you're crying, can't even think or talk straight, your mind felt numb.

That night, you remembered vividly the last word he said before you passed out.

"I love you."

-

The rainy night made you feel all lazy. You wouldn't get up from bed if you just didn't feel the urge to go to the convenience store and fulfill your craving with some warm food. You're definitely starving.

You take out your umbrella because it's still raining, but as you nearly arrived, it's became a drizzle before it came to a stop.

You fold your umbrella as you walk closer, but before entering the place, you definitely saw jeno at the dark aisle between two buildings; making out with who the fuck you don't care, as if someone could've not just pass by and saw them two passionately changing spits.

You froze in your place, can't even walk any closer to where jeno was. You felt anger bubbling up to your chest and at the same time, you can't help your heart from breaking into pieces.

But as someone's controlling you, you suddenly stomped on your feet, making a way to them with balled fists, and you nearly scream when you call him out.

"Jeno."

The two broke the kiss after couple of seconds as if they're unbothered, both dripping from the drizzle. He turned at you, eyes dark and indicating that he wasn't even surprised to see you there. 

But then he opened his mouth, "how th-"

"What the fuck?" You cut him before he talk, spitting your anger out, voice all husky and spiteful, extremely vulnerable at the same time.

"Who the fuck is that?" Your eyes burned from restraining tears roll down your cheeks.

"What happened with the other days when we literally spent time together? Yesterday, you just- we just- fuck, i- i thought you just said that you lo-"

You can't help but blubbering, can't even say the last word you meant from spilling out. It's too much.

The girl he was making out with tried to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

You scoffed, speechless.

Did he just stop her?

Sickeningly, he just walked by you as he made a way out while dragging her with him.

You swear you just felt so fucking dumbfounded. He didn't even say a word since earlier.

When you can't hold your tears back again, you break out and scream his name out. 

"LEE JENO!"

He looked back from his shoulder, but he still put the same blank expression in front of you before he chuckled.

"Well. Looks like i've got nothing to explain since you already saw it."

Still standing with the balled fists, you can't even talk as you were trying so hard to figure things out. Why the fuck did he do this? Did this to you?

"I believe you're capable enough to think with your little brain, princess."

Suddenly, the rain started to pouring again, leaving you all soaked up gradually.

He's giving you the nastiest smile he have ever showed you as he made his getaway with the girl and said,

"Wake the fuck up. I have never loved you."

―

And that's when you wake up from your dreams.

As your eyes fluttered, you felt tears running from the corner of your eyes, making your sideburns damp uncomfortably.

This fucking whole thing is a dream. A dream that's so real.

No wonder that all of it was happening so fast; and absurd.

Now you can't even think of jeno the same way anymore if you see him at work. 

You checked your phone. Of course it's december. You laughed bitterly at yourself when you realized you trapped with jeno in your dreams when it's fucking summer. You swear you can even feel the heat. It just felt so true.

You get up on your elbows then cursed under your breath before muttered to yourself, "never thought you'd love and hurt me at the same time."

And it's not even in the real world.

Is it better because it's just a dream? Or is it not because the real thing is even more an awful truth you need to accept?

That's when you realized that the meaning of impossible is literally as it is. It's the time for you to understand that both of you is poles apart, that he is different.

You'll never ever get him, and you need to forget him; as he might already forget you.

[doomsdaydicecascader]

my problem with postcanon jade was that it said she was a cis girl before fusing with bec. i took it as the same "true in a transmisogynist way" troll as transmasc roxy

like, truly, i miss transfeminine roxy every day, and my house is fairly glass when it comes to things here considering i'm writing The Butch Lesbian Jane Comic, but like. the way homestuck fans exert ownership over the text of homestuck is fundamentally what the homestuck epilogues and post-canon are about. act 7 is about the dead calliope saying "fuck canon" and making her own, and she does not know how to care for the characters in question. i genuinely believe reconciling these facts, that what homestuck wants to be and what fans want homestuck to be are tangibly, ideologically opposed, is what post-canon is about

"fans read this character as X identity" is fine and good but that's paratext at best, and making demands of a text that has no obligation to respect them at worst. the epilogues are cashing in that desire to not respect them. homestuck has always been shaking off its readers who exert too much ownership, feel too comfortable with it. this goes way back as far as act 5 act 2 - the author commentary describes switching between walkaround sprites and hussnasty mode in such close proximity as a means of saying "if you always get what you expect, you will become complacent and that's no way for a reader to be", the "come in, go away" routine of homestuck is so repetitive now that i'm surprised basically nobody's caught on - homestuck is always doing insane flips to try and shake people off of it.

and now homestuck is doing that with your headcanons. like, this is a thing i see genuinely, all the fucking time in fandom over the past 15 years or so, people hype themselves up on paratexts and pretend the paratext is the source. the worst i ever saw of it was people having full blown self-harm threatening panic attacks because klance was not endgame in voltron legendary defenders. genuinely, i remember this so well - i think there were still two more seasons of the show after that event too, but i didn't watch it.

i only looked on from afar because what i saw of season 1 wasn't especially novel. castiel was never gay, no matter how many times he was caught leaking omegamusk in walmart or whatever, i'm stealing valor with this joke i was never a superwholock omegaverse girlie. there's so many fandoms i'm not a part of, it's unreal.

anyway, my point is people get really invested in their reads on characters and pretend it's real for the same reason a normie's sports team is gonna go the distance this season. and when they don't, they riot. this is literally just sports fandom 101. we may as well be talking about fucking inflategate here. i also don't go to sports. it's basically just homestuck for me these days.

i imagine this is what it's like to run my little pony before bronies came along: the show was negligible in relevance beyond its capacity to show off the new toys to play with. but the difference is that my little pony is about the toys, it's about encouraging that kind of play, it's fundamentally a set of toys they made a show about, as opposed to homestuck, which was always niche art for webcomics weirdos that caught on, quite literally, with the brony audience. i remember the first time i ever saw dave strider was on fucking ponychan, chronologically it would have been mid-act 5 act 2. it was an image of dave ransacking the lohac stock exchange, which is an a5a2 thing, it was before season 2 started, etc etc.

this is one hell of a tangent to say as far as the text of mspaintadventures is concerned, problem sleuth characters have gender signifiers that are more similar in nature to drag and performance of gender roles than any actual sexual dimorphism. homestuck characters are built atop the gender expression of problem sleuth. jade was a 13/16-year old girl, and that's the only information there was. over time, this changed.

this was an explicit change, too - it's in the change to act 6, passing through the fourth wall, that these characters, who fundamentally are game pieces, that homestuck starts to contend with the fact that people are emotionally invested in them as people. people don't like dave or vriska in the same way that people care about problem sleuth or nervous broad, and this comes out in the text. we get a lot of the best stuff in homestuck out of that change, too, like. the retcon only works because of that emotional investment, and i go so hard for the retcon. the retcon is the coolest thing ever.

and with that change, now, in 2024, she is explicitly a 39 (? i think she's 39.) year old woman with a penis. she didn't go from "cis woman" to "trans woman", she went from game piece to human person. there is no "cis jade" to be overwritten. you're assuming a "cis is default" worldview of a team of transgender and/or nonbinary people and thats just like. its not ideal, really

[scenetocause]

lil headcanon of girloscar for silverstone '24 weekend plz if u would be open to it??

i'm actually writing a chewy girloscar first win/austria/logan's 2024 thing that's all got a bit in depth and will probably end at silverstone but here's a little fluffy bit of side scene

It's wet and - Lando doesn't like it, obviously but - Oscar gets a unique level of miserable in the rain. She can't wear shorts or she'll get wet legs, which always pisses her off and then apparently her jeans rub her between her thighs when they're wet and the team shoes aren't waterproof and even though this year Lando actually made her request one of the proper team coats she really resents wearing it.

Especially at Silverstone, which he hadn't realised sort of makes Oscar grumpy as a place. He'd quite enjoyed Melbourne, with all of Oscar's people around them but the scale is pretty different here. It's not just Lando's family and a few early-years sponsors or something, it's the entire UK (or something) showing up and Sky breathlessly hyping that he's going to win and then some sort of patriotic collective orgasm will happen.

He forgot to vote in the election, too, which feels like it should be understandable given they were doing twenty interviews that day but Oscar had a go at him about it in some sort of stressed way and he's just not really sure what's up with her this week.

They're sharing a driver room because of the motorhome thing, which he'd thought would be nice but seems to be exacerbating whatever Oscar's beef is. Normally they hang out with each other in one of them anyway, hiding together from media and VIP commitments and getting each other off when they're not meant to be.

Instead, Oscar is glaring at something on an iPad - probably Lando's tyre data - and jiggling her slightly-damp leg like it will help the denim dry faster. It's setting his teeth on edge.

Her digging through his data is nothing new and he doesn't mind, that's sort of the point. He's had a cheeky look through some of Jenson's and Lewis' from 2008, it can't hurt. But this feels less like something she's doing to gain something and more like distraction or even self-flagellation.

Well, he's been told he's very distracting. "Hey."

Him grabbing her ankle makes her look up, at least. Sometimes it's best to be blunt. "What's up with you?"

She sighs, makes a sort of grumbling noise and pushes the heels of her palms into her eyes, huffing. "Nothing - it's stupid."

Lando has to bite his lip for a second before leaning into a cliche. "If it's bothering you it's not nothing. Or stupid."

At least that makes her glare at him, rather than the iPad. She sighs again, kicking her legs out and slumping back on the sofa, eyes closed like she can't bear to perceive this too much.

"You didn't - yesterday, you didn't tell me you were going to be sexy and I turned up in a fucking sweater."

It almost has him blindsided for a moment because this is a completely unreal thing for Oscar to care about. "What?"

"You were all-" she does something with her hand that he thinks means 'fancy' or something "-and I'm fucking dressed like a toddler. Because it's your home race and I'm not trying to - I mean, I don't anyway but like. I don't want to look like a bad girlfriend and it's just-"

"It was a sexy sweater." It's probably not the most helpful thing he can say but still.

"What?" She's looking at him again but with total incredulity.

"Sexy. Makes you look all soft and warm to, uh, hug. Nice shoulders, good to kiss. Like you could pick me up in the paddock again."

In all fairness, the first time had been because he'd only had his socks on when the motorhome caught fire. But Oscar carrying him over to a chair in a bridal hold has spawned a thousand TikTok edits that Lando can't pretend he's stopped watching.

Even when they're calling him pathetic, he can see the tender way she picks him up, uses her forearm to support his back so she doesn't hurt him, holds him close to her as she puts him down. It's a type of loved he'd never realised he wanted to be, until she showed him how nice it is to be looked after.

It's his turn to do that for her, though.

She blinks up at him, where he's perched on the arm of the sofa, avoiding her agitated jiggling earlier. It's enough to make him not quite launch himself at her but tumble down so they can tangle together, cuddling the way he'd wanted to earlier.

"You think weird shit is sexy," she observes, stroking his hair to take the sting out of it.

That just makes him snort. "You think I'm sexy."

Oscar's laughing, at least, when she says "Well fucking everyone thinks that now, don't they? Slutty little vest thing."

"Don't slut-shame me or I won't let you put anything up my arse." He nestles closer to her, gets a hand on her boobs, through her team shirt, in the way that gives Sophie a headache because it leaves visible crumpling.

"Yeah you will," Oscar sounds a little bit amused, still. "Who doesn't want to get fisted after winning their home race?"

When he's squirming his way through a fucking - he still has no idea what Darktrace actually is - sponsor session later, still half-chubbed with way too little time before qualifying, at least she's knocking her hand against his and giggling at their inside jokes again.

[bsydelver]

My hero academia.

I still remember the first time I watched the show back then when the illegal streaming sites weren’t that popular or barely existed and I couldn’t bring myself to buying an actual subscription because I was in denial when it came to my interest in Anime; in-fact: Mha was one of my firsts. I remember the episodes being in a small box with the person of uploaded the episode’s watermark surrounding the screen it was a rough time to be honest but I enjoyed watching.

I remember me and my friends being hyped up while waiting for each and every episode or manga chapter to release. I remember buying my first volume and reading it shamelessly in school and I made a best friend out of it and we’re still friends until now, I bonded with a whole group of people over it and we’re still in contact and that’s amazing.

Mha played a big part in my life, it helped me even during an addiction I used to have and it also had a big influence on my art.

The impact of seeing the characters on the screen or physically on a paper was truly phenomenal, even if it is or was weird. The personality of each and every character stabbed me in a metaphorical way and left the wound unhealed and I’m grateful for that. Seeing the end of this series really feels unreal after all these years, the fanbase shifting and it reviving then going back down again. I actually cried.

The real message of my hero academia was showing the mistreatment of society to certain groups of people and I really love that, Horikoshi wrote it in a way nobody else could and I’ll always admire him for that.

Thank you Horikoshi for changing my life really, and I hope you can take a well deserved break now.

GALLERY

this was a drawing I made for one of my friends a few years ago.

A Toga panel coloring I made from 3-4 years ago.

Two old art pieces from when mha really influenced my artstyle

Thank you Horikoshi.

[gabichanwrites]

I've seen an opinion about JJK that the story needs so much pointless death and unrealized potential because it is the point. That this is the world of JJK, cruel and killing off potential because of higher-ups indifference and carelessness with sorcerer's lives. That Gege did a brave thing by stepping out of the line of a typical shouen plot and made his characters suffer and die and pointed out the ridiculousness of adults making children fight for them.

And to all of that I say - I get it. But also I don't agree.

There is a significant difference between the potential in-universe and the potential of the characters. Sure, they overlap a lot, especially in series like JJK, but there is a difference. For example, both the characters and us have been thrilled with the unspoken potential of Megumi's "sacred treasure" and I'm pretty sure every single one of us went wild when he made his half-baked domain in S1. Also, he got Sukuna as his hypeman - it's hard to really top that in terms of potential. But when I say character potential, I don't mean only power scaling one - I mean what they could do in a story. And one of the best examples for me are The Twins. You know, the ones that try to bargain with Sukuna to kill off the Fake-Getou. And the quite pointless death of BOTH of them.

Their techniques personally interest me a lot but it's not even about that. Even if there is not that much space to explore with them cursed technique-wise, wouldn't it be so interesting if one of them got to live? Betrayed by every curse she turned for help to, alone in a raging Shibuya - forced to work with the School Gang? With their very differing opinions, with her wildly different perspective... Man, I'm not that good of a writer to figure it out on a fly. But there was potential there, a very interesting one, and wasting it isn't the nail on the coffin for Gege's story - but it does disappoint me, considering how hyped the story was for me beforehand. How much trust I put into Gege's writing.

And with the way things are going with Nanami, Nobara and, from what I've gathered from my partner's ashamed face when I mentioned my suspicions, Todou, this is no longer about power potential the characters had (although with Nobara it kinda still is). It's about how those deaths are hidden behind the smoke screen of theme and well, that's the cruelty of the world that tries to hide the balant shock-value of these deaths. Because back in season 1 Gojo already said it - that he knows killing higher-ups won't really solve anything. That it's about a new generation doing better, forcing a change others reject.

So why isn't this story about that? Why does it kill off THREE (?) characters for the sake of kicking Yuuji into dirt? Why does Mahito even require so many named deaths to establish... What exactly? That he's fucked up and immoral and direct opposite of Yuuji? That he can bring out the worst in him? I THINK I GOT THE POINT AFTER JUNPEI AND NANAMI, REALLY.

So, with the spoilers I have from the manga, I just feel like it's not quite right to call those deaths deserved because of the setting. Not when the story in S1 promised a change, a hopeful future set by the new generation.

And if that were never the main focus of the series, then I don't want to hear a single world about those deaths contributing to it because they are not.

Man, there is no one who wants to love JJK more than me and there is no one more heartbroken that I can't bring myself to do so anymore.

[deadite-central]

Yeah I couldn’t wait to post this one

Crocodile has been hyped up in this arc already so finally getting to see the man again is a JOY TO ME. He’s still very much his old bastard self, jail CLEARLY not changing his attitude and it’s great. I love the fact he’s evil and snarky even when he’s talking to the kid that beat him up

And of course, Crocodile’s come back gives us some more snippets of lore surrounding his past, Iva letting Luffy know she knows him and knows a secret of his. I am a strong supporter of the trans Crocodile theory and the way it’s phrased here (intentionally or not) definitely makes it a possibility. Also warlords interacting is a joy so I love Jinbei and Croc here

With our team now formed, we get to another very fun part of the arc (let’s be honest 90 percent of the arc is fun as hell), with EVERYONE making their way to the exit completely destroying the poor background characters

And again, Ivankov is a character that I’m so happy to see as a trans person, I absolutely adore them

Lots of people pointed it out but this is also the first time we hear about devil fruit awakenings, specifically the Zoan types, which is fun to see when in the anime we got to see a fight between two awakened Zoans who still have control over their minds

Both the dream team and the Buggy-Mr 3 team finally get to the same place, which allows for so many hilarious moments, it’s actually unreal how Oda came up with all of this. Like even if you don’t like Impel Down as much as I do you gotta admit the comedy is peak

[drdemonprince]

so grateful i found your blog by chance and get to engage with your thoughts, i am pouring a drink for you if you want it 🍶

the replacement of culture in usamerica with whiteness/assimilation, esp how you describe the familial/interpersonal dynamics, resonates so much with what i have known.

i have been trying to understand my family (and a lot of people i grew up around) through the lens of childhood emotional neglect, and i'm curious if that concept has come up in your scholarship. cen has really helped me connect with autism spectrum disorders despite not having a diagnosis, as there are a number of overlapping experiences.

I wouldn't say it's come up in my scholarship -- very little of my formal training has been remotely helpful or grounded in a material analysis of reality or an understanding of colonialism, so it kinda sucks. What HAS helped me are books -- Lindsay Gibson's work on emotionally immature parents unlocked the door for me to realize that something was missing in my life, and then more political writing from marxists, anarchists, Black liberationists, child liberationists, and Indigenous scholars allowed me to better envision how a better life could be. Dawn of Everything is a great text. A lot of Ayesha Khan's recent writing has been super helpful. There's much about family abolishment on the anarchist library online that has helped me (as has Lee Schrevek's writing) and many other sources that I hype all the time! Books about the construction of whiteness such as Hillbilly: A Cultural History of an American Icon has also helped.

It can be difficult to untangle some of these criticisms of white, capitalist society from my reading of myself and others as Autistic, because there's a troubling degree to which understanding my family members as unrealized Autists helps explain their coldness and aloofness in a way that personalizes the blame, rather than positioning them within a broader cultural and economic context. But of course the real answer is that it's already hard enough for anyone to connect under these conditions, but it's even less so when even the meager existing framework for understanding emotions and relationships that you *do* have is especially primed to not fit you.

suffice to say, many of the struggles of unmasking autistics is of the exact same piece as that of queer people, poly people, abuse survivors, immigrant families, and any other group that has had to reinvent their own social scripts and construct their own families and cultures, and all of this is very very relevant to my next two books.

[just-some-guy-joust]

Just Some Guy OC Tourney - Side B: Round 1

Rules:

do NOT be mean to anyone or any characters in these polls. you MUST clarify if you are joking/teasing or you will be blocked. if you are someone who entered an oc into this and you are mean to other contestants you will be disqualified

do NOT claim a character doesn't deserve to be here. yes including your own. be nice

if you are posting propaganda you have to tag us, including if your propaganda is in the reblogs. it is difficult to tell when something is or isn't propaganda. anything not tagging us will likely be missed

please don't hesitate to let me know if i messed something up!

have fun, hype each other up <3 thank you

Lilly | She/her | @pocket-ghostie

CW: Child death

Lilly is a ghost who has found other ghosts and is hanging out <3 Almost all of the plot is happening around her. Thats actually a major plot point in the story, things are happening to the people she cares about... but nothing is really happening to her. She is simply hanging out and doesn't know what to do about the plot, but it keeps going without her doing anything. I don't have much to say about her, I only have things to say about the people around her.

Promos: Toyhouse link: https://toyhou.se/21226516.lilly

~

Cobblestone Mason | He/him | @splatoonmaster69

CW: Unreality

A regular human fighter youve seen a thousand times. I promise. NEURODIVERGENCY JUMPSCARE.

~

Full images and descriptions under the cut!

Minor spoilers for the story <3 Lilly finds out that her brother accidentally murdered her and she freaks out bc that's wild. But then she forgives him and everything is fine. She finds out that her dad has turned into a monster and she does nothing about it but avoids him. Her mom starts trying to control her, and she just waits for her friends to help her because she knows they will. She is so so tired of The Plot and doesn't know what to do about it. So she just... doesn't deal with it. She is hanging out, she is simply a lovely litty girl who is going through the horrors <3 Her friends don't even know that much about her, except for her family. She doesn't even know that much about herself. She knows she likes flowers, and having fun... but she doesn't quite know what fun is to her. She kinda gets left behind by the plot in a sense, even though shes the main character. (But I still love her very very much, she is my baby and no one can hurt her <3)

[no image provided]

A "regular" "human" "fighter" NEURODIVERGENCY + "NEURODIVERGENCY" JUMPSCARE. So. By all accounts he really is just some guy i promise. In his head he is just a human fighter, boring as possible, average guy. Sure he has schizophrenia but hes not gonna let that stop him! The only issue is that he lives in a fantasy world, so his doctor really shouldve checked whether it was schizophrenia or mind reading. Yeah most of the time its the formor but if it isnt your kindof fucked And since he already hears voices, theres no way he'd understand that the new threatening voice in his head was his cool new sword that he found at a digsite. and that the little dragon following him around is his familar, not the dragonborn party members son.

As for the human part. he very well could be but im not gonna think about it too hard

anyways if you ignore all that other stuff hes basically just a regular guy for real. he has a passion for archeology and studying long dead civilizations, he likes animals, especially dragons. he collects trinkets that remind him of people he loves and wishes the voices in his head werent so mean because he knows his friends care about him and doesnt want to doubt that. Hes a regular ass guy!

[hopeisgrey]

My Demon - 7/10

The announcement of My Demon literally created chaos among the k-drama fans. The Song Kang-Kim Youjung pairing was making everyone insane. The hype was unreal. But did My Demon live up to it? Well, the answer to that would be… yes or no (kissy if u read that in Na Bora’s voice). My Demon did have a very interesting plot line, good enough characters and it was successful in getting the audiences hooked with the first few episodes. The cinematography was the most talked about among the viewers and rightfully so. The wide shots of Jung Guwon’s (Song Kang) office, the underwater scene, the slow-mo shot of the waves forming a portal around Guwon and Dohee (Kim Youjung), the Dohee-about-to-fall-off-the-balcony scene and so on. Another thing that filled twitter was the fashion. And not only the female lead’s this time, but also the male leads. Guwon has secured his place among the very few male leads with impeccable fashion sense. When most male leads are shown in sophisticated suits, Guwon was rocking cropped jackets and scarfs. But then again, I don’t think most male leads are Song Kang.

Nevertheless, My Demon stands as an example that if you start with a bang, your ending should be a banger. This is where the drama failed. In the second half, it started to feel like the story line was being stretched. The cinematography and direction which was so good in the start had taken a back seat and love making montages were put in for the action that wasn’t happening. And by action, I mean just anything that would contribute to the plot. The plot was moving, but at a very slow pace. Sure, Guwon and Dohee make the best couple, the greenest flag couple, the entire amazon rainforest couple, but where is the drama? I wasn’t necessarily waiting for anything bad to happen, but for a time being literally nothing was happening. And I was mad about that. Until towards to the end, everything happened. The new trend of k-drama rom-coms only having 12 episodes, My Demon should’ve followed that. Because the more they stretched, the more Song Kang’s bad acting showed and also the writer’s inability to stitch it all together. I honestly loved Song Kang in Sweet Home, not that he had any more than 2 expressions 3 dialogues in it, but still. Jung Guwon is far more expressive, and Song Kang couldn’t do justice. He shines when the camera requires for him to be the slayest demon to walk this planet, but when it is time for the playful babygirl Guwon to get on stage, his acting feels like… acting. It’s not terrible, it’s just not the best. Also the entire past life plot is becoming more than obvious. The moment I saw Guwon dreaming of his past, I KNEW Guwon and Dohee probably died in the past life and one of them thinks it’s their fault and they will try to distance themselves from each other. You know which other drama did it? See You in My 19th Life and Destined with You and maybe more but I don’t remember. Like can we please move on? This is equivalent to the 2016 era dramas having the oh we’ve actually met in childhood and not forgotten each other since trope. But then again, they have given us the most iconic dramas, can’t the same about these though.

However, I loved the way they showed Jin Gayoung’s character coming full circle. She is probably the only one who started a certain way, learned her lessons, had character development and got her happy ending. So yeah, My Demon definitely isn’t the best drama for me. I am not going to put in on my re-watch list. But I will recommend it. It’s fun, and sweet, and great for fashion inspo!

Another thing I want to add is that My Demon is compared to Doom at Your Service a lot for having a similar concept, so I’ll just say that DAYS is a much better drama, for all aspects – storyline, acting, romance, comedy, THE FUCKING AWESOME THREESOME OF THE SECOND LEAD THRUPPLE, even the song (If Love Sight by TXT doesn’t play in my head when I look at my future partner, I’ll know they’re not the one). Except My Demon is going to take the trophy for best costume.

Ok that’s it now let me play Hyunsu’s “What should we do?” until Sweet Home S3 comes out hehe!

[justmenoworries]

Lore Olmypus Episode 271 Spoilers

We're in the endgame now. I guess.

And I feel absolutely nothing. Any tension that could have hyped me up for this moment was squashed by my frustration with every character's lack of thinking skills.

Why exactly are Hera and Persie passed out on the ground? Kronos didn't even do anything yet, all that happened was that he closed the door after Hera and Persie managed to squeeze through at the last moment.

Speaking of, this episode shows us that Kronos is huddled up in (what is presumably) his cell deep down in Tartarus so how exactly did he control the door?

It will never be not funny to me that Kronos, ancient tyrant and titan of time (*rolls eyes*) sounds like a modern-day incel whenever he talks. And then other times RS remembers she's writing the supposed Big Bad and has him switch to more appropriate language on the fly. The whiplash is unreal.

Persephone: "Kronos is powerful but erratic. This makes his behavior hard to anticipate."

Oh, is that RS's in-universe excuse for Kronos switching motivations every time we see him? First he wants to return to the world of the living, then he wants to take revenge on Hades, then he suddenly wants Persephone but actually he wants Hera. And now he wants... Hera again, I guess. Holy constantly shifting goals, Batman!

Kronos: "I will take pleasure in your gradual and painful destruction!"

also Kronos: *proceeds to sit in his cell and do nothing for the entirety of the episode*

If you want to make Kronos actually menacing instead of just annoying, maybe have him do more than an occasional supervillain-laugh RS.

I will admit, the visual of Hera and Persephone slowly descending into Tartarus and past all these human souls reaching out for them from their cells is cool. It makes the whole situation actually feel tense and scary, knowing there's something terrible waiting for the protags down this endless pit but also knowing that they have no choice but slowly climb towards it.

Or it would be if RS didn't ruin it with Persie doing very obvious cover-ups for story flaws a lot of critics pointed out while she's descending.

Like "Oh, I don't talk or think about how the fuck Apollo managed to channel my powers or where Hades actually is because I'm disassociating from it as a defense mechanism."

Persie that would be way more convincing if you'd done literally anything besides sitting on your ass and whining this season.

This constant narrative that everything is just too much for poor girlboss Persie and that's why she's doing fuck all doesn't really work when all that happened is that people rightfully called Persie out for making a mess while Persie hid away in the Underworld. Rather than work on solutions to the problems she caused or at least try to help with the fall-out.

She hasn't tried to learn more about her powers or about her deal. She didn't try to get in contact with Erebus. She hasn't done anything to try and free Melinoe from Kronos. She didn't help with the preparations for the sleep dive, neither did she even offer to take part in it even though it concerns both her and Hades' kingdom. She refused to participate in the meeting between the gods on what to do about the "plague" but still felt the need to make commentary over the phone. She hasn't come forward about Apollo's numerous crimes to keep him from taking over Olympus, even though she has several powerful deities to back up her claims.

Every time Persie could have chosen to become more than a passive bystander, she had some other character step up and do or say something instead.

Hera: "So are the fertility goddess stories real and you are one?"

Is... is that not common knowledge at this point?

The Fertility Goddess Mystery Box is becoming bloated with how much shit RS keeps putting in.

So apparently whatever Apollo did with the help of Ouranos at the broadcast was only "manufactured" and any greenery he managed to create with Persie has presumably died again by now. Okay. Persie knows this how?

The irony of RS making Hades look exactly like Kronos in the flashback to him and Persie accidentally doing the going giant-thing.

Persephone: "I did make [Apollo] bleed from his eyes and ears though, so that's a win."

Huh?

Persephone: "It's something I can do with my new powers; I was sort of able to rot his physical form from the inside."

Huh?

Persephone: "I think I can do some damage to Kronos that way."

HUH???

Hold on, so does Persie know how her powers work or does she not??? What is it with this cloud somersault in logic???? When the fuck did she figure this out????

Hera: "I'm not really one for combat."

Girl you fought in the fucking Titanomachy, what do you mean???

(The way RS repeatedly portrays women as physically helpless and incapable of defending themselves without outside help, I want to throw up all of my organs)

Alright, as much as I hate everything leading up to it I actually like the conversation between Hera and Kronos. Hera using Kronos' victim complex and egocentrism against him is actually really clever. And I like the small glimpse we get into Kronos' past and how Ouranos' abuse helped shape him into the monster we know today.

Kronos justifying his own cruelty by comparing it to Ouranos' allegedly much more evil deeds while completely missing that his actions have made him no better than Ouranos is neat. That's abusers for you. "I know I hurt you but I could've been worse! Also I had it way worse than you! Pity me!"

I did not expect Hera drawing this paralell between her and Kronos, of being deities who did horrible things for the greater good and ended up despised despite the sacrifices they made, but it's cool.

It's bullshit, but it's bullshit Hera knows Kronos will buy because of just how blind he is to his own faults.

Okay, final thoughts.

Someone else pointed this out, but this is literally just the season 3 finale again.

Kronos takes over a large part of the Underworld and controls the bodies of a bunch of powerful deities, Hades among them.

Persephone has to descend to the Underworld.

Another powerful god tags along with Persie and does 80% of the work to set up Persie's #Girlboss victory.

Not RS building up a different villain all season and then just going "Sike! It's Kronos again!"

At this point, I fully expect Ouranos and Apollo to be defeated off-screen.