#THERE WAS A FUCKING NICKEL AND 2 QUARTERS

[fluffypotatey]

god gives me the most pathetic battles and i still lose

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

digital display: not going well

ch9

masterlist

-yawn yawn yawn

-everybody tweaking one way or another mainly just inumaki tho

-late post bc work…

^this fucking lady paid .75 in pennys and fuckinf nickels when she had a thousand fucking quarters i was like oh u can just give me 3 quarters! n she gave me attitude talking about I NEED THOSE 👹👹👹 girl fuck u n ur coins then??

-see y’all tmmrw !

LINK TO A MASTERLIST OF HELP LINKS FOR PALESTINE, CONGO, AND SUDAN

taglist!🐺 (ask 2 b added)

@semi-orangeapple @carefree-flowerchild @ynverse @myriaquarium @kaleidoscopekai @dyfw-hleui @bellsoftheball @sixxze @camilo-uwu @morgyyyyyyy @zellwa @mixzimi @nanamiswifes @nugget-eater123 @sweetlyvibe @bebobeboben @catobsessedlady @beeksyurr @lysaray @nyxlai @fuyuzemi @bbysatoruuu @st4rdusttx @bakarinnie @vwoire @jayathelostdragon @frootloopscos @hanyacoded @babygurlenthusiast @kayzens @polarbvnny @lu-spizzeria @jjk-thef @tyigerz @liveincans @bloombb @nnnyxie @blk-barbz @basically-an-anime-stan-acct @secretanimesimp @tranzumaki @h3xi2g0n3 @inosfavgf @iluv-ace @taelattecookie @meguemii

[mothandpidgeon]

The Outlaws (Outlaw!Joel Miller x f!reader) - Chapter 2

Moth's Masterlist // follow @mothandpidgeon-updates and turn on notifications to stay updated with my fics!

SERIES MASTERLIST

pairing: Outlaw!Joel Miller x f!reader

rating: T (eventual E 18+ MDNI)

wc: 1.7k

summary: Wanted for murder with a bounty on your head, your only hope of escaping the Pinkerton detectives is an outlaw named Joel Miller and his sidekick Ellie. But Joel has other plans for you.

tags: old west au, enemies to lovers, grumpy Joel, handcuffed together, period/genre/canon typical violence, alcohol, morally grey characters, reader has backstory, no use of y/n

authors note: Posting this today in honor of act ii. Yeehaw. As always, thank you @ezrasbirdie for the beta and support in this (you really need to tell me to stfu about these two) and in life.

Joel once took Sarah to see PT Barnum’s Greatest Show on Earth. Each ticket cost him two quarters. She pulled him by the hand past the tents with Tom Thumb and the giantess, straight to the exhibition of wild animals. There were all sorts of exotic animals in the menagerie– giraffes, elephants, snakes. You remind him of the tiger. Beautiful and cunning. Fierce. Dangerous unless it’s kept under lock and key. 

Which is why he’s grateful he kept these old shackles in his saddle bag. 

You’re in a friendlier mood once camp is set up and a rabbit is roasted on a spit. He knows it’s a rouse, that you’re still spitting mad and hoping to slit his throat in the night. On that train, you were the demure damsel in need of a rescue. Soon as he put that cuff on your wrist, you turned into a fire breathing dragon. 

You can be as mad as you’d like. You’re no match for his strength or his revolver. 

They sit around the fire, Joel and Ellie propped against their saddles. It’s a cool evening, a steady breeze blows off the river. The stars paint the purple sky and the cave is illuminated with the orange glow of a fire. There’s plenty to celebrate. Though, even when they score a good amount of money, gold pieces, and get away without a scratch, Joel never feels much satisfaction. Despite his personal quandary, it would be a beautiful night, really, if Joel weren’t sitting there waiting for you to do something foolish. 

He can tell you’re meditating on some new escape plan, knows better than to look at you too long. A girl like you, pretty and with that sharp mouth, is the type that knows how to use her womanly wiles. You’re desperate enough to try just about anything and he’s not giving you the chance. 

You must think he’s stupid enough to fall for it too. He reluctantly passes you his flask and, after you drink, you wipe your wet lips with a seductive  finger. 

Ellie’s being a real chatterbox, recounting each moment of the robbery as if she’s writing her own nickel weekly and peppering you with questions. He’s not surprised she’s taken a liking to you. There aren’t too many of the female persuasion out here. Maybe she can see some of Tess in you. He doesn’t. Tess was always calm and controlled. And when she was angry, she never fucking spit at him. In fact, he resents you for making him think about Tess at all. 

“Ten thousand dollar bounty, huh?” Ellie asks you. “What’d you do?”

Joel’s seen more than a few people running from the law but none of them look like you. You’re no Annie Oakley. 

“My sweetheart was fooling around with my sister so I killed em both,” you say. 

“Really?” Ellie asks. 

“No,” you say. 

“What was it really?” she tries again. 

“Leave it,” Joel says. 

He’d be just as cagey about his past. Outlaws don’t live by any code but if they did, questions like that would be frowned upon. 

Ellie grumbles at him. 

“I’ve got ten on me too,” she tells you. 

“Your daddy must be proud,” you say, looking to Joel. 

They respond in unison— “He’s not my Pa,” and a “I ain’t her daddy.” 

You do a lousy job suppressing a smile. 

“So this is the infamous Miller gang? Ain’t much of a gang if you ask me,” you say. 

Joel grinds his molars. 

“We used to be a proper one. Most of ‘em are in prison now. And then we lost Tess to a bout with fever. And Tommy left,” Ellie recounts. 

“Who’s Tommy?” 

“Nobody,” Joel says same time as Ellie tells you, “His brother.”

You look Joel up and down. 

“That’s enough yakking for tonight,” he says. “I’m turning in. C’mon.” He pulls the chain. 

Ellie laughs. “I should warn you. He snores something awful.”

You scoff. “Is this some kind of ploy so you can wake up on top of me?” you protest. 

Joel’s patience is wearing thin. He’s got half a mind to turn you loose and let the wolves deal with you. 

“You can quit the belly aching, missy. I ain’t taking that thing off til you’re with the sheriff in Jackson.”

“You’ll wear him down eventually,” Ellie encourages. 

“Ellie, go to sleep,” Joel orders. 

She rolls her eyes. 

“What if I got to use the privy?” you ask. 

“Hope you like company,” Joel says. 

You huff. 

“You at least going to give me a blanket? Cold out here,” you say. 

Joel’s only got one in his bed roll, a beautiful Pawnee blanket he bought off a trader from Kansas woven with geometric patterns. He knows it would be gentlemanly to let you sleep with it but you’re no lady. 

He sighs as he hands it over. You wrap it around your shoulders with a self-satisfied look on your face. 

“Anything else I can do for you, missy?” he says with mock cordiality. 

“You can stop calling me missy,” you say. 

“G’night, missy,” he says. 

It’s not your best plan. But just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it won’t work. 

First step, you wait for Ellie and Joel to fall asleep. The girl takes a while. She’s got a dime novel with a cowboy on the cover that she flips through as the flames die down. You watch her through your cracked eyelids, pretending to have already drifted off yourself. 

It’s hard to tell if Joel’s out. He uses his saddle as a pillow and you’ve positioned yourself on the other side of it, your arm outstretched so you don’t have to be too close to him. 

He murmurs to himself. You strain to catch what he’s saying. At first, there are words you can understand. The name Sarah passes his lips. But then you hear him make a sound you can only describe as a whimper. 

It gives you pause. You’ve never been a nurturing type but it pulls at your heart strings, almost makes you want to put your arms around him. You imagine a hurt puppy inside that big, snarling dog of a man.

His sharp silhouette is highlighted in the amber glow of the campfire. It’s a shame he’s such a mean son of a bitch because he really is easy on the eyes. Then he rolls over. His unexpected motion nearly twists your connected arm out of its socket and you bite your tongue to keep from swearing. That bastard has you chained up like a dog. You do all you can to control your temper, swearing soundlessly. You can’t afford to wake him. 

You wait a long while, listening to him grunt and snore. Once you’re sure he’s good and asleep, you move. 

It’s a process. You begin by flexing your wrist. An innocent gesture that could be explained by sleepy twitches. He doesn’t stir. 

Eventually you feel bold enough to inch towards him, pulling the chain carefully along the ground. You crawl on your belly until you’re in front of him, then you dare to lift your hands up. 

The chain clinks against the buzz of the night insects and you swear it’s so loud you hear it echo off the mountains. You hold your breath, wide eyed, every muscle in your body taught. 

Joel doesn’t wake. He might be pretending but his chest still rises and falls slowly. Either he’s a hard sleeper or he’s deaf. Might be a little of both. You’re always tired after the rush of a big score. 

Ellie hasn’t woken up. Her eyes are closed, mouth hangs open. Down for the count.

You flex your fingers before you begin the next step, lick your lips and take a steadying breath. 

You’ve picked pockets before. Never tried it on a sleeping man, though. You keep your touch light, delicate, unbuttoning his waistcoat with one hand. It falls open for you and you can’t help but smile. 

The key to the handcuffs is tucked in the inner pocket. You saw him put it there. All you have to do is lift it out, unlock the cuff, and you’re a free woman. What you’re going to do after that, all alone in the middle of god only knows where, you’re not sure. But that’s not of material importance until you have that key. 

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip and you move slower than molasses in January, easing your first two fingers into the little pocket. Your fingertip connects with metal and your heart jumps. Pinching the ringed end, you hold on and pull. It’s awfully heavy. 

Because it’s not the key at all. You’ve fished a pocket watch out of Joel’s vest. Damn it. It’s a dainty little thing— fine gold with intricate scrollwork engraved on the back. The face is all busted up and it doesn’t seem to be ticking. Most importantly, though it’s not a key. You need that goddamn key if you want to get— 

The unmistakable click of a gun being cocked makes you freeze. Joel’s awake, dark eyes shining in anger. You’ve had guns pointed at you on a number of occasions but still it makes your blood run cold. 

“The hell are you doing?” he asks. 

“You’re dreaming,” you tell him. 

He doesn’t think that’s cute. The scowl on his face just deepens. 

“Alright,” you say, raising your hands in surrender.

You put the watch back in place and crawl back to your spot. 

“Gimme the damn blanket,” Joel growls. 

You toss it to him, cowed. But what did you expect? This had never been a very good plan.

Once you hear the hammer of Joel’s gun go back into place, you breathe a sigh of relief. It’s quiet for a while as Joel gets under his blanket and you know he’s laying there waiting for you to fall asleep. 

You try to settle down, wrapping your arms around yourself. The night air bites at you now that you’ve lost your blanket privileges.

“Sarah a sweetheart of yours?” you ask him. 

His head snaps your way so fast you think his neck might break. 

“You was talking to her in your sleep,” you explain. 

“Say that name again and I’ll wring your neck,” he says. 

He sounded like he meant it before but you feel like he’s looking forward to putting a bullet in you. You shiver. You’re smart enough not to say another word. 

---

Chapter 3

I'd love to hear from you! Comments and reblogs appreciated. My asks are always open!

[malinaa]

TOP 9 BOOKS

tagged : @hmsharmony ty jennifer this was SOOO hard oh my god like. genuinely agonized me for days to think about what to choose but it was SOOO fun tho <3 tagging : @rosesau | @evcndiaz | @pendrgcn | @gayarthur | @the-tenth-arcanum | @oretsev | @wherepoetsdie | @bellamyblakru | @ryekat & anyone else who wants to do it !!! rules : list your top 9 books obviously. i cheated a little and put series as as one option because that's just who i am as a person. most of these i chose at random from my 5 star reads from the past few years btw

1. percy jackson and the olympians (series) by rick riordan

i was never a big reader in elementary school—or at least not to the extent that my classmates had been. my sixth grade english class required us to bring a personal book from home for silent reading and i stole my brother's spine-cracked copies of pjo and brought them to class. i finished the whole series in less than a school week (i had to scramble to the library to pick up another series because the single novel should have lasted me at least three weeks). pjo literally kickstarted my love for reading as a hobby and i truly don't know how to state the importance it had on my little ten-year-old brain fr

2. on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong

i have never read a book more beautiful in prose and so uncommonly human than this. there's just something so incredibly heartbreaking knowing this whole book is the narrator's letter to his mother who can't read! like what the fuck

3. alone with you in the ether by olivie blake

this came as a surprise to Me when i first read it. i meandered through the first quarter, loving the writing style but feeling disconnected from the characters until the Church Hand Scene™ and it was hook, line, and sinker at that point (i have since come to love the disconnectedness in subsequent rereads, knowing that the feeling was the Point). i have read this book four (4) times since i read it first last year. LAST YEAR!!! olivie has like... fundamentally altered my brain chemistry or something because i feel like everything i have written since having read this book has been somewhat influenced by it.

4. much ado about nothing by william shakespeare

what can i say! this is theeeeeee romcom ever. i have watched so many adaptations of this play, read it countless of times and can recite some iconic lines, and still the banter between benedick and beatrice is sooo elite. cannot be topped!!

5. a place for us by fatima farheen mirza

fun fact: seed rec'd this book to me and has been reccing it to anybody who would listen. the prose is so lush and melancholic. it's one of those books where nothing Really happens, but you feel Every Emotion Under The Sun and you're just like. altered by reading it

6. the song of achilles by madeline miller

obviously.... OBVIOUSLYYYYYYY this had to go here. if i had two nickels for every greek myth retelling i read during school that fundamentally changed me etc etc u get it. i read this as a junior in high school when we, yet again, had to bring a personal book to read durin class. i think at that point of my life, i've never read something that tragic yet so beautiful at the same time and now i am always looking at the beautiful and tragic in media. so! there u go! brain cells rewired and whatnot!

7. the grisha trilogy by leigh bardugo

this is funny because i . technically did not rate any of these books 5 stars i'm sobbing. but like, considering the fact that my url is what it is and the way i always have them in the back of my mind, it's no wonder that i put them here. i have such an odd attachment to these books and these characters. i had copies of these books since their release but didn't touch them until ... before the sab tv release which is so fucking funny. like i don't know what i would be like if i read this as a t(w)een. i would've been so fucking insufferable ngl

8. when my brother was an aztec by natalie diaz

i actually read this for an assignment and had to write a report on it and i had SO much fun doing it. diaz plays a lot with hunger and her imagery is literally unmatched. i think about the way she contructs sentences and am filled with such envy. my beginning sentence for my paper was a nod to her style (though i failed miserably). it was: "in a paradoxical sleight of hand, hunger feeds in natalie diaz's debut." she is just. so fucking good at words i need to CHOMP on it

9. sharp objects by gillian flynn

you know the thing where you see a really popular author for a really long time and they have their work adapted to the screen and it's so good but you still haven't read their actual writing? yeah, that was me with gillian flynn (specifically about gone girl). i read gone girl, i read sharp objects, i read her short story the grownup, i'm currently reading the last novel of hers that i haven't read, dark places, and flynn is just so... incredibly good at constructing harrowing stories. it's no wonder why all three of her novels got adapted to the screen! her prose is so grounded. vivid. there's this ease to her writing that, whenever i concurrently read another novel, i always find the other piece to be lacking. i slink back to flynn's prose and immerse myself in her awful, human worlds.

[theearthmagicguy]

Oh hey, I beat the first Funger earlier today, and last week I was brushing back up on Doggins Dragma to make sure I wasn't rusty when 2 rolled around, what the fuck're these games taking inspiration from??

Cause if I had a nickel for every game I played with a foreboding gore filled dungeon that slowly stops becoming a dungeon the deeper you go before abruptly breaking off into a relatively intact city with a temple at the back, then I'd have two quarters (Edit: nickels). Also with trees and plant life growing well past the point of sunlight. And they both took mild inspiration from Beserk.

Look, the point is, this's a weirdly specific scenario to run, and I'm pretty sure the Funger devs didn't just look at the Dark Arisen dlc and go "That's so fucking rad man" (even though they'd be right to).

[sldlovescartoons]

A thing to know about me: I am haunted by how this tattoo healed. (Also I promise the tattoo is perfectly round, my arm is just small and makes its roundness hard to photograph)

So, this was my first tattoo, because I don’t believe in half-measures. (Well, it’s my only tattoo but that’s just because I lost my job like six months after this one and haven’t been able to get new employment) The actual tattooing went great! Only took a bit over two hours, didn’t hurt much, only bleed a little bit. And then They put my tegaderm bandage and that’s when things went sideways. I was sitting to the side, maybe 45 minutes after the tat was done, like 30-ish minutes after bandage, drawing in my sketchbook while I waited for the people who drove me to get theirs. And then-

“You’re leaking!”

And I look down, and there is some orange-y red-ish grey-ish fluid leaking out of my filled bandage onto my sketchbook (rude. Couldn’t have dripped somewhere else?). The artist freaked out, as did the artist that runs the desk (might be the owner). The front desk guy said, also a quote:

“I thought you said she wasn’t bleeding!?”

“She wasn’t!”

Because I wasn’t.

They wiped me down, including a pass over with an alcohol wipe that didn’t hurt near as much as they said it would, so it’d dry up a bit. Then they put on a new bandage. (One of theirs, they let me keep the extra they gave me when they put the first one on.) Soon after I went home with the girl who had the simpler tat of the ones I came with.

4 hours later, that one busted. Small miracles, no blood, but it was dark teal gray, this plasma. My ink was falling out. So nearly 5 hours in, we’ve busted two bandages. I clean it, water, paper towel dab dry, alcohol wipe down, a thin layer of lotion to keep it from drying out and cracking and to try and seal it up a bit. I put on my last tegaderm.

12 hours after I got my tattoo, the 3rd bandage busted and now we’re dry healing wether I wanted to or not.

And then it got worse. The tat scabbed up, but not evenly. The bubble scabbed beautifully. Thin, no big cracks, was silver skin within 2 days. The Bulbasaur? Scab thick as a quarter or nickel, cracked to hell. Worse still, the bubble healed lightning quick and start to push on the inner scab as the skin close to the outside healed under the thick scabs and wanted to flake off but couldn’t. Leaving me in a position where I could carefully pick at the scabs to get the loose parts off, or wait till a loose part catches my shirt when I take it off and yanks a whole chunk of attached scab off. I elected to pick. This only went wrong on that one spot on the bulb. (You can tell where.)

So here we are, patchy and cracked and why the fuck did I bust 3 bandages in twelve hours!?

I have found no answers in the years since as to why this happened, but my biggest theory is that it relates to my highly probable POTS and EDS (Autism comorbitities go BRRRRRRR). Any POTS or EDS homies have any thoughts or experiences? Please?

[cl0ckworkpuppet]

ranking things the zoo guests do/say/ask on a regular basis

for context, i work at a zoo, and people are fucking insane

"can we pet them?": 3/10. no, you can't. the signs say you can't. but I commend you for asking. If you ask after you've already pet one, though, -8/10. do better.

"i think there's a nursery rhyme about the kookaburra!": 5/10. cool trivia fact! if you actually start singing it, though, 1/10. cool you actually know it, but please stop

"garfunkel, huh? where's simon?": -10000/10. You Suck. I hate when people ask me this and I hate them personally. Because of this job I now have a vendetta against Simon and Garfunkel.

(starts playing kookaburra noises on their phone speaker): 2/10. clever, but annoying. also, doesn't work if you're trying to get them to make noise. they only laugh when no one is watching them.

"well, one of 'em over there let me pet 'em just fine!": -6/10. you did not have to tell me you did that. and just by that description, i know it was garfunkel, who is usually resting because He Is Overheated. animals laying down is not an open invitation to come pet them.

"i was just taking pictures!": 0/10. you can take pictures from the designated guest path. Stay On It.

"can we pet the swans?": just for this question specifically, -16/10. are you fucking kidding me? can you pet the swans? ask me that question again but slowly.

"garfunkel?? they need to get some spaghetti, cuz that's not quite italian enough!": 10000/10. i've only ever heard this once, and it was today from a 13 year old, but I genuinely had to stop myself from bursting out laughing on the job

"are the emus friendly?": 4/10. Australia lost a war to them for a reason.

"why aren't the animals in cages?": -5/10. first of all, we don't cage animals, we keep them in habitats. second of all, this is the Australia Walkabout. Where you Walk About with the Australian animals. You came in here for that exact purpose.

"i don't like birds": -7/10. not because you're afraid, birds are a totally normal thing to dislike. i'm just baffled why you came into an enclosure full of many many free roaming birds if you are afraid of them

"why is the swan pond so dirty?": 1/10. first of all, that is algae, and in small amounts it's not bad at all. it's pretty natural, especially for a giant pond directly in the sun. but more importantly, it is hundreds of gallons, and we cannot put chlorine in it, and it is not feasible to clean every day. we do clean it multiple times a week, but it gets especially bad after storms or heavy rain

"will the budgies poop on me?": 7/10. valid concern, actually. budgies shit every 10-15 minutes. maybe. i've had it happen plenty of times before to guests and especially myself. to answer their question, you'll only get pooped on if you stand directly under them. they don't shit while flying so ur good

"can my child ride the [emu/wallaby/giraffe]?": -284/10. i don't know what kind of cocaine you need to be on to ask me this question seriously, or especially to expect the answer to be yes, but even as a joke this question isn't funny. if i had a nickel for every time i was asked this question, i'd have a quarter

"will the giraffes bite me if i feed them?": 8/10. no, they physically can't. nor do they want to. but it's a valid question; they're pretty big animals to be feeding so carelessly. you'll probably get licked though

(does an australian accent): just because it barely ever happens, 8/10. you'd think it'd happen more often, but no. i've only ever got it a couple times. i rank it so high because hearing these guys try and fail to do an accent makes me laugh so hard

"are you a farmer?": 9999/10. little kids ask me this question when they see my safari hat. makes my day every time.

"are these kangaroos?": 5/10. on one hand, fine. not everyone knows the difference between kangaroos and wallabies. since wallabies are like a quarter of the size of roos, they're often mistakenly called baby kangaroos. plus they're in the same family and look very similar. on the other hand, do you honestly think we'd be stupid enough to put actual fucking kangaroos in with guests walking around freely without an enclosure? be for real

"do these wallabies have pouches?": 3/10. fine question, but these guys have comically large balls

"is that wallaby dead?": 4/10. no, that's garfunkel. he sleeps all the time. i promise he's ok.

"can we pet the budgies?": 2/10. you're welcome to try, but even i can't get them on a seed stick let alone touch them

"can we grab the budgies out of the air?": -999999999/10. Explode.

"don't you hate how the animals are treated in zoos?": -999999/10. you are not the PETA warrior you think you are. when executed properly, they can be really good for the animals inside of them. natural does not necessarily mean good, nor does unnatural necessarily mean bad. that's called a Logical Fallacy. some of these animals Cannot Be Released. please do any amount of research on zoos and aquariums that are not seaworld or the once in a while shitshows

"what year do you graduate high school?": -infinity/10. i am in College.

"when i was younger, budgie feeding was one dollar each, not two!": -18/10. that was in 1943, grandma. plus i'm just some guy. what do you want me to do about that?

"can i have a seed stick for free?": if you're an adult, -10/10. No. if you're a child, 10/10. No (wink and passes under table).

"can you break a hundred?": -100/10. No.

"i like your hat": 10/10. thank you! i like yours too!

"that's a cool pin you have!": 10000/10. my pins are all pronouns and trans flags. i love you.

(sees me cleaning the budgie aviary) (looks at their kid) "See that man in there? If you don't behave, I'll force you to have his job.": -infinity plus one/10. First of all, fuck you for shitting on janitorial positions. I'm sure you would prefer to not step in bird shit. Second of all, I'm not a janitor. Third of all, fuck you for getting your child to behave using fear tactics and threats. Fourth of all, I love my job. I tell these kids and parents straight up to their face that I do. That this isn't everything I have to do in my job. Some parts might be dirty, but that's okay, and no one's job is ever something to be laughed at. One kid told their parent after I told them everything I get to do in my job that they actually want my job when they grow up. That parent was furious. Good. Fuck you, Karen, for shitting on workers that only help make your experience more enjoyable. I've only gotten this three times, thank god, but holy shit. The entitlement of these people is fucking insane

anyway i might think of more later

[wheelercore]

Was there ever confirmation that Dream A Little Dream of Me was Victor's favorite song? It has a personal meaning to Victor after the Creel murders, because it is what the "angel" used to lure Victor out of his vision, but I don't believe it was ever hinted that it was an important song to him beforehand. Which I just find to be interesting. Especially considering the fact that the song was not playing in the scene when victor woke up, meaning that this "angel" had intentionally played this song specifically. And frankly, its referenced too many times for it just to be a random song.

Which,,, the pianos, all the pianos. Pianos seem in important, idk.

The piano in the Wheeler home. Still unknown who's it is but it was played at some point in s1 so I imagine it isn't just there to be there.

Piano in the Creel attic (doesn't seem to belong to the Creels) and I also believe down in the living quarters.

When music is introduced as a method of healing the mind, in the background the only instrument we see currently being played is the piano and it plays over the whole scene. There is also a guitar which...

There is a guitar in Mike's room. A guitar and a piano in the wheeler home, and again, the only two instruments clear as day in the Penthurst listening room.

And just. If I had a nickel for every time Mike and Ted were paralleled to each other in s4 I'd have... a lot of nickels actually. So I wouldn't be surprised if that was Ted's piano, I mean they have shared serial killer references in s4 for fucks sake.

Funnily enough, the one think that makes me certain that it is an intentional Mike references is just the sheer amount of music references about yearning and pining for someone far away emotionally and/or physically (Will): Red Sails in the Sunset & I'll See You In My Dreams (1924) & Dream A Little Dream of Me & Moonlight Serenade.

Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams isn't necessarily a romantic song, but it does follow the same theme of hoping for the best despite the darkness/sadness that encroaches. Which is a bit interesting if you recall Alice calling the Creel home a "dream" and a "fairytale".

Dream= love, optimism, and light. Nightmare= darkness, pessimism, and trauma.

Very interesting that these two instruments are featured in this scene when Dr. Hatch discusses how music can actually help those who have a "broken" mind (Dr. Hatches way of referring to his patients, which is... uh), particularly if the song has a personal meaning to the person. Definitely adds onto the whole discussion on Mike's mental health but also we don't know if Dream a Little Dream of Me was a song that had personal value for Victor, and it seems like a far too important song for it just to be one and done like that.

However... a song, particularly a duet song like Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong's Dream a Little Dream of Me, might have personal value to two musicians. Maybe two musicians who were 14 years old only 2 years after the song came out (1950/1952)... a singer (Betty) and a pianist. Two musicians who bonded over feeling being "different".

And of course, the play in a play, The Dark of The Moon being about a witchboy who falls in love with a girl, wishes to be 'human' as a result, and ends up losing her after a particularly gruesome witch hunt by the religious town (which the witch hunt part of that is basically s4).

[magicmarkerz]

Canadian Questions

What is this coin called?

Sometimes in the US we have them accidentally mixed in with our 1 cent coins because they are so similar!

2. Do you have pressed pennies? (Or pressed Whatever the name of the 1 cent coin is)

3. What are the cent amounts for each of the coins? What are their names?

4. Who are the people on your currency?

5. Isn't the paper money in Canada water proof?

6. What is the coldest temp you've have personally experienced? (I lived in Minnesota for most of my life and am curious to see how similar the climates are)

7. How big are the French speaking parts of Canada? Do you know any French?

Thank you for being willing to answer my questions! :)

1) that is a penny!! They look very similar to American ones, but they're discontinued. We don't use pennies anymore!!

2).. I have no idea what that means...

3) penny = 1 cent (discontinued), nickel (5 cents), dime (10 cents), quarter (25 cents), loonie (1 dollar) and toonie (2 dollars)!!!

4) uhh fuck I think the queen is on most of our coins?? Viola Desmond is on the 10 dollar bill (she's awesome, I learned abt her in elementary school!) Idk about the others though..

5)yes! It's plastic! (L)

6) mm, probably in my old town, (not revealing for privacy), but probably -40ish degrees celsius. Once school was cancelled because it was so cold, actually!! The warmest is probably positive 40 degrees. It's supposed to get up to 30 today, actually!! (I should mention that I'm still in mid-southern Ontario , so it 100% can get colder.)

7) it's mainly Quebec that speaks French, though everybody learns it in school. Moi, je peux parler un petite peu du français! Je n'ais pas tres bon, mais je n'ais pas horrible! (I'm shit at grammar though). You can stop after grade 9 where I am, but can choose to continue if you want! For some reason on my course selection for next year there wasn't a french option, but I 100% would've taken it otherwise!

These were a pleasure to answer, hope it gives you some insight about Canada!

[tary289]

500 Days

Fuck it tehe, i wrote this in like 20 minutes take it, its word vomit, and uber bad but i dont really care cause its like about to be 1 am and im still not tired, lots of twd referances cause i love that, judge me, be cruel, kinda wanna see how bad it really is, protagonist is unnamed cause im very bad at names.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke from my slumber, like every other person. I checked my digital watch, and it read Wednesday, August 8th, 6:02 AM. The watch didn't say the year, but that was fine, as that information was not yet bygone to me. 

Mudi was still asleep next to me, my only friend while the world ended, he's such a good dog.

I rose from the comfort of my mattress and just lurked for a few minutes, eventually I heard Mudi rise too, and he came running for his food which I had already placed into his bowl. Today was day 500, a milestone if you will. I would be lost trying to tell how long it's been with just the watch, so I've been keeping track of money which now holds no value.

One day is one more penny into the tray, after five days the pennies are replaced with one nickel, after 10 days the nickels were replaced with one dime, 25 days and the two dimes and one nickel became a quarter and so on, I replaced the twin two dollar, three quarters, 2 dimes and four pennies with a five dollar bill. It's reminiscent of a collection basket I would witness go down the pew I sat in and when it reached me I would swiftly put in some pennies I dug up from the couch cushions at home. 

With a newfound wakeful mind, I collected my things and left out the door, Mudi shortly behind me. The birds greeted me with their songs as I and company went to the nearby river to collect fish, which I loathed. This life may keep me humble, and humble I've become. I used to loathe the taste of seafood, but now I look forward to it, although perhaps that's because of the lack of any other food.

I had a comfortable schedule, in the dawn I fished, not with a fishing rod. No, that's too tedious, I employ a sharpened pool cue, technically a spear. It's my instrument. But I still know not what my symphony is.

Time passed, bucket filled, legs waterlogged. It was time to return home. I’ll bore you not with details, I placed the fish into my makeshift salt box and continued on with my schedule.

Checking on the water collectors on the roof, and they were all fine and untouched, but I needed something to occupy myself with so I left to find something else. I could raid some more of the town, make my ever-growing collection of canned goods grinder, find some new literature, maybe some more clothes, medical supplies would be nice as I've only really found prescription drugs for some pain which I lack.

So with Mudi at my side we go into the small township which is Blackwood. I never knew this place before it all, it's funny how the end of the world caused me to migrate across the country. I always knew this town as devoid of people, just Mudi and I.

We spent the rest of the day going through buildings, collecting anything which could be of use, books, magazines, canned foods, clothes, medicine, alcohol (for when I'm of age of course), vinyls, a little bit of everything really. I finally found a vinyl I've been looking for, “Just the two of us” by Grover Washington. It was my parent's favorite, sadly I lack the necessary materials to play it but It's nice to have.

My day was done as the sun rested, the most important part of the day was upon me, messages to others. I lit the bonfire I constructed on my house's roof, stronger enough so it appears as a small orange glint in the distance from my fellow survivors. And after a few minutes, I saw those five specks appear in the distance. 

The paper with Morse code scribbled onto it in my hand I signaled “SAFE” and I received the same message from the five other lights. Why did we not meet up? Perhaps to not disrupt the life we have cultivated with the complication of others? That's why I remain here, at least.

I put out my fire after cooking dinner, charred lake fish, I put out the fire and saw the other specks disappear. Mudi and I ate on the roof of the warehouse now home, gazing into the stars beyond us.

Then a rumble, Mudi bolts down the stairs of the open door into the safety of our home, I look above and there it is, one of those things, I still don't know if they have an official name but I've dubbed them Drifters, they come and go at random intervals, I've grown used to them, well giant hunks of metal floating in the sky will always be an oddity. They do not bother me as much as they used to.

I kind of like watching them now, as they drift into a destination beyond my sight below the horizon. Though I decide to call it a night, it's spaghetti Thursday tomorrow, just need to find some spaghetti. 

[reed-right]

thinking about coin-denomination problems -- e.g. the change-making problem ("what's the minimum number of coins we need to total to this specific monetary amount?"), the frobenius coin problem ("what is the highest monetary amount that is impossible to have with this specific set of coin denominations?") -- and of all the funny ways we could make it more difficult and complicated for no reason by making fucked-up coin denominations.

imagine if quarters were now worth 23 cents. imagine abolishing the penny. imagine bringing back the half-penny. imagine a $4.96 coin. imagine a $0.004 coin. a $√2 coin. a $0 coin. imagine adding a second type of nickel which is also worth 5 cents. imagine doing this with every coin except dimes.

we could do this

[lexpressobean]

You know. I know Naruto is actually a knucklehead, and Kiba isn't like a straight A+ student or whatever, but it's not always that they're idiots compared to Shino. Sometimes Shino is just unintentionally misleading. He's so logical and fluid in his speech that he can understand language from multiple angles. Kiba and especially Naruto are the kind of peeps that honestly coast on familiar bits of behavior and social cues to fill in otherwise vague statements or pauses in communication and that makes their wits not as sharp.

The thing is, Shino never coasts in his conversations. He's 100% present every single interaction he has. Because of this, Shino is the kind of person you have to be fully alert with and present for and tbh Kiba and especially Naruto just don't seem like the types that can manage that comfortably in an otherwise casual setting. They also probably just don't want to.

Like... this, for example:

"I have two coins in my pocket that equal thirty cents (30¢) together. And one of them isn't a nickel."

... This isn't Shino trying to trick you, this is Shino trying to help/stating a fact, but also making you mentally double take and question your intelligence and I think it's both hilarious but also just kinda sad because he can't see why it's misleading. It just makes sense.

Meanwhile, Kiba probably gets it after a couple of moments of confusion and gets on Shino's case because his "helpful wording" simply isn't the... intuitive? Socially acceptable??? Way of wording a potentially helpful sentence. It's just not how most people would actually go about it.

And Naruto's brain breaks because how the fuck else do you make 30¢ with only 2 COINS!? Naruto is smart enough to know that between a penny (1¢), nickel (5¢), dime (10¢), and quarter (25¢), a quarter and a nickel together would make 30¢. What Naruto doesn't get right away is that just because one coin isn't a nickel doesn't mean that there isn't a nickel at all. But someone used to or dependent on common speech patterns to stay on autopilot can't smoothly process the situation/statement w/o engaging common sense. And unfortunately it's not always so common. Also, most people just don't want to actively think when they're relaxing, and that includes relaxing with friends.

Shino's so big brain, he just decides on a non malevolent whim to make the Quarter the focus of the sentence in relation to the Nickel instead of just simply focusing on the Nickel ("One coin is a nickel") and letting Kiba and Naruto infer the second coin MUST be a Quarter.

He's not trying to be complicated, he's just subconsciously making choices that others don't even get to make because they are just not engaging as much as he is. But this also causes his speech to be deemed as difficult to understand. It's not missing anything and he's not purposefully being difficult or equivocal. He just doesn't actively choose to have a typical speech pattern. He just passively speaks with a greater amount of patterns to pull from, all correct, and so he doesn't feel the need to actively adjust because logically, he shouldn't have to. And he's right! Logically.

Like, I kinda get why it's a bit frustrating, but at the end of the day Shino is just a little different and Kiba but especially Naruto could at least try to get on his level, tho Shino himself would never actually tell them to. Because even though he can be mean, he's naturally a nice dude, maybe too nice when I really think about it. But at the same time, Shino is just being himself, and being asked to "dumb it down some" or "stop speaking in riddles" is probably just as annoying for him, if not more so. Firstly because it's not necessary, secondly it's not his fault other people are too comfortable with a "normal" (read limited) way of things, and thirdly, but most importantly, it's always him that's asked to change and even straight up considered a problem!! Unjustly! And that's really messed up and rude and upsetting. Shino is smarter than most of his cohorts, but his pattern of speech isn't him being a pompous asshole as a result of that. And Shino probably knows that's what people think too, and it feels bad because Shino knows he's smart but then again it's not like he's that smart and he may or may not go down a self-deprecating train of thought because damn it...!!

That's what Kiba but especially Naruto fail to understand. Maybe Kiba gets it sooner than not as his teammate and also 'cause he's actually not a total dumb ass, but Naruto is irritatingly stubborn in his own way, I wanna chuck him out a window sometimes he's so simple. And its horrible because Kiba and Naruto DO like Shino. Kiba thinks Shino is fucking cool and Naruto has this weird hot/cold admiration for him but all things considered, Shino is awesome.

It just sucks that they actually do consider all the things. A judgement based on baseless criteria, opinions skewed by socially accepted ideas. And I think Shino deserves at least one friend that doesn't fucking pull that shit. It's probably Lee. But Shino+Lee hangouts when !?

Anyway thanks to coming to another one of my Shino Aburame Ted Talks lmao

[misfit-fics]

Demon Rehab For Dummies

Summary: (Y/N) started seeing seven demons when she was 10. Through the years they all disappeared, all but one. Namjoon. A demon who has not so creepily, creepily, very creepily been in love with her for years.

Genre: fluff, crack, extremely minimal angst, idiots to lovers, romantic-comedy

Word count: 7384

Rating: Teen

Warnings: mentions of suggestive & kinky themes, a handful of cursing, a story with a plot but not doesn’t exactly have a plot, a stubborn (Y/N) who dismisses love confessions & genuine flirting, an unspoken confession

A/N: Hey! we're back, it's been a while. We're starting school in a while but it will be gamble if we'll be more active or not. Well... we ARE active but just not posting? Yeah, you know what I mean. This has been sitting in our drafts for a while now and we're posting it now... although it's pretty unedited, feel free to address any oopsies. Hope who ever finds this enjoys reading!

At the ripe young age of ten (Y/N) began seeing seven men. Which- would’ve (should’ve) freaked any kid out but you know (Y/N) is just kinda quirky like that so she didn't really mind much. The men were nice and played with her anyway, and the only weird thing was that sometimes they would bring her dead birds.

At age eleven (Y/N) noticed that one of the men was missing.It didn’t affect her much except for the fact that this particular one would help her find things and she’d lost almost all of her socks since he disappeared. Not to mention the increase of bug bites after he left. The darn things seemed like they multiplied exponentially after a month.

By twelve only two of the men had disappeared, at this point (Y/N) not only lived in sandals (she still couldn’t find her socks) but she also couldn’t explain why her hair was burning off every time she tried to straighten it (her lil demon friends didn’t want her to, you’d think after almost 3 years of having men following her around and telling her what to do she’d get with the program already.) Her dog her parents had given her when she was 9 started disappearing quite often after he left. He always came back with a single sock that would disappear the next morning.

By thirteen (Y/N) had developed a crush (more like unhealthy obsession) on one of the men, Namjoon. The third year was also the year when Jimin disappeared, taking all of her favorite shoes with him. That year she had prayed to whoever was listening because her parents really couldn’t afford to keep buying her socks and shoes, and because she definitely couldn’t afford to shave her head.

By fourteen, Hoseok, the man who had cheered her up whenever she needed it, had gone, leaving a tidal wave of bad luck in his wake. He had a great deal in keeping (Y/N) happy, although some of his antics made her want to punch him, it never turned out that way.

When she was fifteen no one left… except for the dog. Aside from that, the only thing that left was her social life (It wasn’t like she had one before but you know it was still a little rough). (Y/N) began to depend more and more on her demons. She had become great friends with the oldest, Seokjin, who cooked for her when her parents went on trips.

At sixteen Yoongi left and the nightmares began. And with the nightmares came the growth of (Y/N)’s relationship with Namjoon. Namjoon became her protector, along with sometimes Seokjin, who still cooked for her and cared for her altogether when she couldn’t.

At seventeen, (Y/N) was informed that when she turned eighteen Seokjin would be leaving, on account that they didn’t need each other anymore. (Y/N) had been torn up when he told her and even more when he left. He didn’t take anything when he left other than a piece of (Y/N)’s heart.

At eighteen, (Y/N) moved away from her parents house with Namjoon trailing behind her (He even had lil demon suitcases and everything,) following her every move.

“I really don’t understand why you had to follow me out of my parents house. I thought spirits are supposed to be attached to a general area…” (Y/N) took to unpacking a box in the small apartment she now lived in.

“(Y/N) how many times do we have to go over this, I'm a demon, DE-MON.” Namjoon clapped his hands with each syllable. (Y/N) rolled her eyes and flicked her wrist at the self-proclaimed demon.

“Demon, ghost, same thing.” She shrugged her shoulders, “same thing as to-may-to, to-mah-to.”

“It is not the same thing!” Namjoon looked at (Y/N) like it was obvious.

(Y/N) snorted, “Okay Casper.” She continued pulling out the items in the box.

Namjoon looked flabbergasted, “CASPER!?” Namjoon put a hand over his chest and widened his eyes. (Y/N) looked up at the demon with a raised brow,

“Geez Casper, why are you so offended? I’ve called you Casper before, Casper.” (Y/N) struggled to keep in her laughter, trying to keep a straight face as she looked at Namjoon.

Namjoon looked at (Y/N), “I think I shall simply cease to exist in your realm.”

(Y/N) looked back down at the almost empty box, “You wouldn’t do that, you love me too much, my dearest Casper.” She said in a singsong voice, “Oh hey I found a sock.” She pulled out said sock from the box, it had yellow stripes. :]

“I think Jungkook took the mate to that when he left.” (Y/N) threw the sock at Namjoon with a loud ‘FUCK!’

“I mean we could try and summon him to see if he’ll return your socks.” Namjoon shrugged.

“I wouldn’t even try.” She started putting the random items in their new places.

“You should put Juno on the window sill rather than the coffee table, I mean cacti do need sun.” Namjoon looked at the little green prickle plant.

“I’m sure if i didn’t tell you how to parent your child, it would’ve been confiscated by child protective services.” Namjoon crossed his arms and looked at Juno who had been (rightfully so) moved to the window sill.

“Casper- Juno is a cactus. There is no CPS (Cactus Protective Services).” (Y/N) looked at Namjoon with her own arms crossed over her chest and an eyebrow raised, “Now if you could- Can you please go unpack a few boxes?” (Y/N) shooed Namjoon away before her eyes widened and she added in, “NOTHING LABELED FRAGILE!”

“You know if we painted a wall or two in here, it would liven up the place so much…” Namjoon looked around the bland apartment, “Maybe an accent wall over here. A floor lamp over there. A new plant in the kitchen. It wouldn’t hurt you to give Juno some siblings.”

(Y/N) looked flabbergasted, “You want me to pop out another child?!”

“No I mean-” Namjoon’s eyes widened.

“-OUT OF MY WALLET?!? MY BARELY 21 DOLLARS!?” (Y/N) got her wallet out and zipped it open. She shook it in the demon’s face, about 26 pennies, 2 nickels, 1 dime, and a quarter fell out. It was followed by a single, folded, 5 dollar bill.

“I don’t think that’s 21 dollars, (Y/N)” Namjoon looked down at the floor, where one or more of the coins had caught onto his feet.

“I have a gift card.” She pulled out the cheap plastic, silver, $25 visa gift card (that didn’t have 25 dollars) with a bit of a struggle.

“How much exactly is on that gift card (Y/N)?” Namjoon eyed the flimsy silver object.

“You expect me to know- I mean probably more than 10 dollars!” Namjoon raised a brow at the statement. “Okay, maybe about 3.69.” Namjoon sighed, massaging his temples. (Y/N) bent down to put the money back into her wallet like a pigeon eating bread crumbs the old lady on the bench threw onto the floor.

Namjoon walked away from the pigeon-girl and grabbed a notepad and pen that was left on the kitchen counter. “We’re making you a to-do list.” He stated, clicking the pen.

“WE haven’t even unpacked all the boxes yet.” (Y/N) whined, pointing at the last large box in the middle of the hallway. Namjoon looked to where she pointed and shrugged.

“It says Christmas decorations.”

“EXACTLY! VERY. IMPORTANT.” she clapped her hands in between each word.

“It’s February.” He said.

“It’s still winter.” (Y/N) reasoned, finally done picking up the money. She plopped herself down onto the small brown couch.

“Okay so first off you need a job.” He wrote it down onto the notepad, the pen scratching being overlapped by a loud gasp from the human in the room.

“You dare ignore me?!” She yelled offendedly at the demon who glanced at her before looking back down at what he was writing.

“You also need to go to the supermarket.”

“I told you I barely have any money.”

“Your parents gave you some money.”

“Oh, you’re right.”

“And also, you should walk to the school and find a short route to get there.” Namjoon pulled out a literal map.

(Y/N) pouted, “I thought you were gonna walk me to all my classes to deter all the frat boys from coming my way…”

“I did say that,” he confirmed before continuing. “But I mean to get to the actual school grounds.”

“But we have a car.” She had drawnout the ‘but,’ trying to make her point that she didn’t need to walk.

“But you need exercise.” He reasoned, mimicking the way she had said her words.

“Are you calling me fat?”

“No.”

“Yes you are.”

“(Y/N) i’m not.”

“Yeah you ARE, Casper.”

“Would you PLEASE call me by my actual name for once?”

“Sure thing. Rap Monster.” She teased, the ground started shaking. (Y/N) let out a loud screech looking up at the demon who’s eyes were rolled back. “OH FUCK YOU!”

The shaking died down, Namjoon staring down at the girl who was now underneath the coffee table. “This is why you’re still here!” she cried.

“You want me gone?” Namjoon questioned, offendedly. (Y/N) army crawled her way from her ‘safe spot.’

“I DIDN’T SAY THAT!” She yelled, returning the offended tone.

“I’m out,” Namjoon pivoted on his heel, walking to the front door robotically.

“Noooo!”

“Will I ever see my socks again?” (Y/N) looked at Namjoon with hope, “I mean having shoes would be great too though.”

“What’s wrong with living in sandals? Birkenstocks are very comfortable.” Namjoon pivoted around with a candle in his hand.

“It’s winter.” (Y/N) frowned.

“You could always use mine?” He gestured to the shoes at the shoe rack at the front door. The ones that were closed toed…

“Your feet are too big.” (Y/N) looked over at the shoes, then looked down at her own feet, then at the demon.

“Size didn’t matter Last night with your sweaters?”

“That’s different, Namjoon.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“Size.” Namjoon smirked.

“Different.” (Y/N) stood confidently.

“You know, you could always just go buy new socks?” Namjoon looked at her oddly.

“I usually wait to get them for Christmas, you should know this by now.”

“Independence.” He stated.

“You’re a hypocrite.” Namjoon let out a ‘huh?’ and (Y/N) continued, “You said independence when you’re dependent on me.”

“That isn’t my fault.” Namjoon raised his hands in defense.

“It kind of is though…” (Y/N) shrugged, Namjoon opened his mouth to retort but was quickly cut off, “I’m literally a rehab center for you.”

“Apparently you’re not a nicely rated one.” Namjoon shook his head.

“I’ve helped 6 other demons, Namjoon. You’re just being difficult.” (Y/N) poked his chest really hard before retracting her hand.

“Ouch,” he put his hand over his heart where she had poked him, “You shouldn’t be saying these things to your client.”

“I didn’t ask to get a client or even BE a rehab center.”

“The reason why you became a rehab center was because you decided that humans were ugly and disgusting.”

“The reason why you ended up with me was because you did something bad and you just now decided to be a good person and it’s not turning out well for you.”

“For your information, I could have left a long time ago.” Namjoon crossed his arms, with an audible exhale from his nose. He stared down at the rehab center.

“And why didn’t you, hm?” (Y/N) crossed her arms also with a raised brow. Namjoon kept quiet, debating how to answer, keeping eye contact as if it was an olympic staring contest.

“You.” He said. (Y/N) snorted, ready to insult the patient. “-would’ve starved to death by now if I hadn’t stayed with you until now.” He finished, (Y/N) gasped, reaching up and hitting Namjoon on the shoulder.

“You. Jerk. Get. Away. From. Me.” She hit him harder every word before waddling away into the hallway from the chuckling demon.

“No problem,” Namjoon disappeared with a veil of sparkles out of view.

(Y/N) thrusted open the door to her new bedroom. Continuing her waddle to the end of the full size bed. Facing the head board, she plopped the top half of her body onto the bed front first. Namjoon reappeared about 6 feet away from her with a loud poof and a burst of sparkles scattering around the room.

“Go away.” (Y/N)’s face was still shoved into the mattress, “Seriously shoo.” (Y/N) lifted her arm off the bed to wave him off.

“I won’t go. You can’t make me.” Namjoon walked towards the bed hesitantly, scared to get fucking murdered by his prison warden, “Move over. Give me some room.”

“Go sleep in my closet.” (Y/N) flipped the demon off.

“You’d prefer nightmares over your dearest Casper?”

“Yes.” Namjoon sat down on the bed, his knee almost hitting the girl’s head. “I thought I said in the closet.”

“And I prefer the bed.” Namjoon leaned forward and took (Y/N) by her hands and pulled her closer to himself with an annoyed groan from her. She was pulled until her head was laid on his chest, wrapping his arms around her.

“I hate you.” (Y/N) grumbled into her demon-pillow.

“I know.”

“You live because I allow it, and that is it to be my flesh pillow.”

“Okay, now sleep.”

“But why do you have to leave?” (Y/N) looked up at her bunk buddy, her chin was impaling the person’s chest.

“I have to. I'm ready to go.” Yoongi looked crestfallen, “They said I could have one more night. But then, when I leave, I can pass on my role.”

“Could you maybe not steal my socks?” (Y/N) pouted at Yoongi who chuckled in response. “This is a genuine request.” She said with slight seriousness in her tone.

“You don’t have any to steal anyways,” he rolled his eyes with an endearing smirk that replaced his dispirited look just seconds before.

“Ok just- don’t go stealing any of my clothing, I need it.” (Y/N) clicked her tongue, not denying the fact that she was sockless.

“I won’t. I don’t need your clothing.” Yoongi shrugged, “I might take your guinea pig though. Meatloaf is cute.”

“YOU wouldn’t DARE take Meatloaf from me.” She glared

“I can and I will.” Yoongi crossed his arms over his chest and looked towards the cage that housed Meatloaf. (Y/N) groaned, unlatching an arm that was sandwiched between the bed and Yoongi’s back. She planted her palm smack in the middle of the demon’s face, covering his view of the poor guinea pig.

“No.” She patted his face, Yoongi’s eyes now squeezed shut.

“I can lick your hand.” he threatened, his voice muffled and jumpy from the wacky hand.

“You’re gross,” she moved her hand up, now only covering his eyes and revealing a gummy smile from Yoongi.

“It’s sleep time,” he declared. (Y/N) whined in response, “I’ll be here in the morning to say goodbye one more time okay?”

“Promise?”

“Never said that,” he hummed.

“You jerk,” she groaned, laying her head sideways. Her ear over his heart, engraving the sound into her mind.

Like a cliche love story, (Y/N) woke up to no one but herself on the bed. Through groggy eyes, she could see that poor Meatloaf was gone too.

“I tried to stop him from taking Meatloaf I swear.” Namjoon uncrossed his arms from over his chest when he noticed that (Y/N) was awake.

“Did you really?” (Y/N) sat up in bed.

“I did, I swear,” he said immediately, “I have proof.”

“By proof, do you mean you broke something?” Namjoon took a deep breath figuring out whether or not to say yes or no.

“I… never said that.” He decided on dying, his words drifting off in nervousness.

“So… you did?” She concluded, Namjoon nodded slowly, his eyes down on the floor.

“Yea…” (Y/N) sighed, trying to find anger to cover up a tsunami of sadness that was approaching.

“It’ll be okay. We can summon him every once in a while. Maybe while we’re at it we can try to get your socks back.” Namjoon smiled and hoped it would make her feel better while the reality of things had begun to set in for him. All of the boys loved (Y/N) with all of their hearts but he was the only one willing to stay for the long run.

“I don’t think people want to go back to a rehab center, Namjoon.” (Y/N) let the tears begin to pour.

“(Y/N) it’ll be okay…” Namjoon went over to sit on the bed next to (Y/N), “Seriously we’ll get through this.” Namjoon put a hesitant hand onto (Y/N)’s shoulder and began trying to comfort her.

“I know- I know but-” (Y/N) sniffled, “Hold on, my mascara will run.”

“You’re not wearing any?-” Namjoon raised a brow and looked at (Y/N) like ‘bih-’

“Shush.” (Y/N) shushed Namjoon before shaking off his hand and placing her head on his shoulder.

“You know you can’t prevent me from getting a boyfriend forever.” (Y/N) looked at Namjoon before continuing to pack her bag for school.

“I can and I will.” Namjoon slung his own bag over his shoulder. He was definitely a professor.

“You can’t make me be single forever.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and slung her backpack onto her shoulders.

“Your preferences in men are horrible (Y/N), I'm not trying to prevent you from getting a man.” Namjoon said in a matter of fact voice, moving and opening the front door, letting (Y/N) pass through before he walked out behind her.

She scoffed, “maybe you should hook me up with someone, maybe then you can leave rehab.”

“I miss Meatloaf,” Namjoon said solemnly, changing the subject.

“Why do you always change the subject when I bring up my love life?” (Y/N) complained, stomping her foot as they walked down the hallway of the apartment building toward the elevator.

“Do you think Yoongi will respond if we try to summon him?” He ignored the question.

“Hey Joon? Is your dick ribbed? I heard all the demon dicks were ribbed.”

Namjoon stopped in his tracks, putting his feet together and staring down at the human with a face screaming ‘what-the-fuck?’ (Y/N) had a boxy smile on her face, waiting for a response. “Who the fuck did you hear that from?”

“A fanfic I read, it was a group called DTS,” she shrugged. “Is it right though?” she leaned forward slightly in high expectations.

“Well-” Namjoon paused, “uhhh…” his eyes darted around. “Mine… isn’t.”

“Damn- that’s really disappointing,” (Y/N) frowned, throwing down an imaginary hat onto the ground and continuing walking with Namjoon following behind her.

“Why is it disappointing? You’re a virgin.” Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

“Why would you think I’m a virgin?” (Y/N) looked offended. They stopped in front of the closed silver elevator doors, Namjoon hit the down button before responding.

“You literally had no social life in middle and high school and depended on demons who were attached to you by force in order to not lose your ability to speak in English.” Namjoon raised a finger, “Plus I’ve known you since you were ten and unless it was before that… I would know.” He slipped into the elevator, turning around and walking backwards. A know-it-all smirk plastered on his face while (Y/N) had an annoyed look on her own.

“Can we just- stop before we start arguing about my sex life?” She marched forward into the elevator like a preteen going into their room after an argument with their parents.

“How did you even become a professor?” (Y/N) looked at Namjoon confused. “Couldn’t you have just you know… poofed yourself from people’s view when I go to school?”

“I need something to do while you’re in class. I might as well teach asshole frat boys how to do business math amiright.” Namjoon chuckled.

“I mean… you can just be the ghost you are and haunt me n’ stuff?” (Y/N) suggested, “I mean you already do that, Casper.”

“That’s Professor Casper to you.” Namjoon laughed too hard at his own joke.

“Ew,” (Y/N) cringed. “I’d rather call you Daddy Casper.”

“Only in the bedroom.” Namjoon looked at the human.

“Sex doesn’t always have to be private.” (Y/N) stared back at the demon, flipping her hair back. “Wait- are YOU a virgin then?” She asked, bringing back the topic from earlier, but this time about Namjoon.

“Classified.” Namjoon glared.

“So you ARE a virgin?” (Y/N) snorted a laugh, “And you call yourself a demon.”

“Not all demons are incubi or succubi, your demon-racist.” Namjoon accused.

“I am not demon-racist.” (Y/N) looked up at the tall demon, “I’m human.”

“You’re not a human, you’re the personification of the word ‘dumbass.’” He said, poking the proclaimed dumbass on the forehead.

“Rude of you to assume what I am, Casper.” (Y/N) smacked away his hand and pushed Namjoon not so gently on the shoulder.

“Now you’re the hypocrite,” Namjoon glared, “Professor Casper.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, “Daddy Casper.”

Namjoon frowned, “If you’re so persistent on not calling me Professor, then just Daddy works fine.”

The girl shrugged, “I’d prefer to just call you Daddy Casper, but without the Daddy part.”

“But what if I want to be called Daddy Casper.” Namjoon wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as they walked through the gates of the school, the walk soon enough would be coming to an end.

“Woahhhh down bessie.” (Y/N) lifted her hands and moved them in a downward motion, “Save it for the student who’s gonna try to fuck you for their grade.”

Namjoon laughed again, “You say it as if it won’t be you trying to fuck for an A.”

“I don’t get how an idiot like you got a job as a professor.” (Y/N) punched Professor Namjoon on the shoulder who was still laughing at the insult he pulled out his ass against the girl.

“I don’t know how an idiot like you got into college.” Namjoon rubbed his shoulder and then pushed (Y/N) back with a grin on his face. The bell conveniently rang, ending the conversation and forcing the pair to speed their way over to the classrooms.

“You know I saw one of the sorority girls eyeing you, I think we’ve found our fuck-for-a-grade person.” (Y/N) looked at Namjoon, “You wouldn’t fuck her right?”

“I would never fuck one of my students.” Namjoon looked at (Y/N), “Plus I don’t like cheerleaders, I like depressed freshmen who can see demons and that double time as rehab facilities.”

“I am not a rehab facility. I am a struggling freshman.” (Y/N) clapped at Namjoon.

“No you’re not a rehab facility, you’re my rehab facility.” Namjoon smiled cheekily, “And the way I see it you are not a struggling freshman, you live with a professor that helps you with most of your homework.”

“Eh- The one thing you don’t help with is stress relief.” (Y/N) looked at Namjoon, “The least you could do is let me go out and find a boyfriend.”

“You HAVE a boyfriend.” Namjoon looked at (Y/N) seriously.

“WHERE? WHO?” (Y/N)’s eyes frantically searched the room.

“HERE! ME!” Namjoon pointed at himself and then widened his eyes.(Y/N) looked at Namjoon with a raised brow, her frantic eyes stopping and looking the demon up and down.

“I didn’t know you had a rental-boyfriend service?” (Y/N) said in genuine shock, “I don’t have any money though so-“

“You don’t have to rent me.” Namjoon scoffed, “I’m right here and I cost no money.”

“I don’t take charity work, sorry.” Namjoon groaned and covered his face with a hand.

“You’re literally the most stubborn person I know.”

“I’m trying to keep my single streak here, thank you very much.”

“Wait so we aren’t dating?”

“You thought we were dating?”

“You didn’t think that?”

“You like me?”

“You didn’t know?”

“I mean- you never said it-”

“I literally said it seconds ago, (Y/N).”

“Well yeah, seconds ago I guess but I mean before?”

“I literally confessed to you when we were looking for apartments to move out of your parents house.”

“When?-”

“What about this place then?”

“I like it.”

“More than you like me?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“Are you questioning my love for you?”

“Bitch, maybe I am.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Why shouldn’t I be questioning it then, hmm?”

“I’m literally helping you look for a home that we both will move into.”

“That proves nothing.”

“Bitch- If that doesn’t say ‘I LOVE YOU’ I don’t know what does.”

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe saying ‘I love you’ straight up?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“I love you.”

“Nice.”

“Ohhhhhh.” (Y/N) smiled, “You meant that?”

Namjoon looked at her with a blank face. She stared back waiting for an answer that didn’t come.

“So… you do mean it?” She confirmed it herself. The demon nodded slowly, waiting for her to process it.

“(Y/N)? You good?” Namjoon waved a hand in front of her face.

“You know,” she started, finally having rebooted her system. “There’s a lot of things wrong with this relationship. First of all, you’re a demon and I'm a human.”

“Not the first time I've heard of that type of relationship.”

“Secondly, you’re supposed to leave soon considering you’ve delayed it enough. Even using my personified dreamcatcher as compensation to stay longer.”

“I’m pretty sure at this point, they’ve given up on trying to get me back.”

“Third of all, it’s weird that you’ve literally known me since I was ten.” She held up ten fingers, “How old are you again?”

“Not that old for a demon,” he shrugged.

“Exactly. For a demon, thank you for proving my point.” Namjoon went to retort but (Y/N) continued. “Fourth, teacher and student relationships are weird.”

“People roleplay it in the bedroom?” Namjoon shrugged once again.

“Exactly,” she said again.

“It’s technically not weird since you’re not my student though. You’re definitely not a business major so…” Namjoon weighed the pros and cons of being caught with a student even if said student isn’t even one of his.

“I’m an English Major- BUT that’s besides the point. You’ve still known me since I was ten.” (Y/N) poked Namjoon’s chest.

“Hey it’s not like I was creeping on you when you were a kid…” Namjoon raised his hands in defense.

“No you just started creeping on me when I was around sixteen.”

“It’s more acceptable than pedophiles!”

“You’re like three hundred!” She exclaimed, she threw her hands above her head to

“Add about seven-hundred years to that.” Namjoon added with slight hesitation.

(Y/N) stood there, mouth agape, trying to do the mental math.

“You’re one-thousand?!”

“Give or take some.”

“I- I’m going to remove myself from this situation.” (Y/N) walked away.

[:] I ran out of image things, so we get text from now on. [:]

“Maybe I should start sleeping in the closet.” Namjoon voiced his thoughts as he was grading papers one night.

“You don’t have to sleep in the closet.” (Y/N) looked at the demon from across the kitchen table.

“The closet is comfortable.” Namjoon shrugged before voicing his concerns about the student’s work, “I’m pretty sure this student is gonna try to suck my dick for an A. This work sucks ass. How did she even get x=34? The answer is x=0!”

“I’m bad at math, don't look at me.” (Y/N) jotted a note down on her work before closing her notebook.

“But anyway- Back on track. Why do you want to start sleeping in the closet?” (Y/N) raised a questioning brow.

“Because the bed is awkward now.” Namjoon sighed before writing a bold ‘10/35’ down on the paper and circling it. (Y/N) glanced over at the paper that was marked red at every inch of it.

“You should put ‘see me after class’ on it. Maybe she’ll suck your non-ribbed demon dick.” (Y/N) suggests as she puts away her notebook. Namjoon’s fist hit the table in annoyance with a loud sigh that definitely said ‘i’m not getting some dumb bitch to suck my dick.’ The girl snorted, “Geez, no need to be so rough on the table.”

“Stop bringing up my non-ribbed demon dick.” Namjoon glared across the table.

“You admit that it’s not ribbed? That’s rough, man.” (Y/N) sighed sympathetically. “Some people are into that, you know.” Namjoon facepalmed, a bit too harshly, a loud smack echoing in the cramped apartment. “No need to be so rough, Casper.”

“You’d probably like it rough, and why the hell are you so bent on the fact that my dick isn’t ribbed?” Namjoon glared, moving onto the next student’s paper.

“We’ve taken the god damn BDSM test together, Casper. You KNOW I'd like it rough.” (Y/N) said in a smart-ass tone, knowing for a fact that they’ve done the test before.

“That shit lies,” Namjoon declared, “I’m not a bottom.”

“We know sweetie, we know. The test did you dirty.” (Y/N) weighed her options before ultimately deciding not to cross the room to comfort her demon. “But you know, the test DID have some direct questions-”

“You mean like the golden showers?”

“Ew, why would you even bring that up.”

“You said ‘direct questions.'” Namjoon shrugged.

“That question was traumatic.” (Y/N) shuddered, “But anyway, You can keep sleeping in the bed. It’s only awkward for you. Plus you can’t even be a demon dreamcatcher from a closet.”

“I can and I will. Now go get ready for bed. I'll join you in a bit. I have to email the kids' advisor.”

[:] Oh wow, another spliter [:]

“What’s awkward about this?” (Y/N) asked, ignorant to the fact that it was very awkward. Her legs were wrapped around the demon’s waist, who was laying down as straight as a log uncomfortably.

“Everything is uncomfortable.” Namjoon tried to push (Y/N) off of him.

“This is where you’re wrong,” (Y/N) states. “Your chesticles are very comfortable.” She furthered her point, by moving her head and weirdly nuzzling her cheek into his chest.

“(Y/N) get off of me.” Namjoon was now really uncomfortable.

“No.” (Y/N) pulled Namjoon’s log-body closer.

“Please?” Namjoon wiggled some more, “Seriously (Y/N) get off.”

“No…” (Y/N) held Namjoon tighter, “Imma go sleep now.”

“Ok (Y/N).” With that Namjoon pushed (Y/N) up and off of him and climbed out of bed and into the closet.

(Y/N) whined, “Nooooooo!” She looked at the closet through her eyebrows. “Are you hiding something from me?” She accused the demon.

“Excuse me?” Namjoon opened the closet door a bit.

“Oh my god- are you a closet gay?” She gasped loudly.

“WHAT?” Namjoon looked at (Y/N) from the crack in the doorway.

“It’s okay! You don’t need to use a fake confession to hide it from me.” She comforted the demon, “I will support you 1000 percent.”

“I’M NOT GAY!” Namjoon wiggled around in the closet before emerging from the space.

“Okay okay- but just so you know, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, Casper. Closeted or not.” She hummed, her words being muffled as she slowly put her face into the mattress.

“It’s been awkward since you basically called me a cradle robber, you stubborn piece of shit.” Namjoon blushed at his confession.

“I thought you didn’t care about that earlier.” (Y/N) looked back up, taking a deep breath of air after almost suffocating herself.

“Well I did.” Namjoon huffed out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“Well that sucks,” (Y/N) said blandly, “I was thinking of saying I love you.”

“The fuck- wait,” Namjoon’s eyes widened.

“Night night.”

[:] Cockadoodle-Doo it's morning [:]

The next morning came around quickly for (Y/N), though I wouldn’t say the same for Namjoon. Having him overthinking the “postponed” love confession from (Y/N). Meanwhile, though the night was quick, the morning dragged the girl by the toilet paper stuck at the bottom of her shoe.

Frown plastered on her face, seemingly deep in thought. She was unmoving in her seat aside from her wrist moving to stir the half eaten cereal in front of her. Namjoon sat across from her, “You can stop thinking, you’re going to hurt your head.”

The insult snapped the girl out of her concentration, she looked up and clicked her tongue. “I was just thinking about you. You want me to stop doing that?”

Namjoon raised a brow, “Depends on what you were thinking about.”

“I was wondering if we could summon the boys,” (Y/N) smiled before continuing, “Maybe get my socks back…”

“Are you saying you’d enjoy the company of your socks more than you with me?” Namjoon asked rhetorically with a shocked expression. (Y/N) gagged and rolled her eyes.

“Namjoon…” she said with a honey coated tone. “Are you saying you don’t know that I know you’ve used MY socks before?” The accused had a shocked look on his face that looked like he was on the verge of throwing up.

(Y/N) started snickering, amused by the demon’s expression. “As if I'd use your cheap ass yellow striped socks,” Namjoon aimed his nose at the ceiling. The girl laughed harder, finding the insult to her socks a bit too amusing.

“Okay, back on topic,” she said in between giggles, “We’ll get back to this later.” Namjoon shook his head, unamused unlike the person across from him.

The offended sock insulter cleared his throat, “We should have enough time before we need to go to the school to summon one of them.” He said in a factual voice, (Y/N) nodded as she took a glance at the time that read 7:23 am.

“What did we need again?” She got up from the stool she sat on, abandoning the poor soggy cereal. Namjoon got up also with a hum of thought.

“Candles and a lighter are the main things, obviously,” He says. (Y/N) nodded going into one of the kitchen cabinets for the items. “And if we’re summoning all of them, we’d need offerings…” Namjoon drifted off.

(Y/N) put down the candles onto the marble counter and looked at Namjoon questionably, “So… we need another hamster and dog?” This made the demon pause before nodding slowly, the situation becoming a bit more difficult than it needed to be now.

“And then what about Hobi? What he took wasn’t exactly… a physical object?” She also put it into consideration and clicked her tongue. “I’m still mad at you for sacrificing my literal source of happiness and good luck for yourself.” Namjoon’s jaw dropped.

“I thought we were past this!” He threw his hands up in the air, (Y/N) flipping him off simultaneously.

“Maybe you were,” she sassed, pointing fingers with a half assed glare.

“Technically, it wasn’t a sacrifice, (Y/N).” He said, crossing his arms.

“Well-” She was cut off by the demon.

“Nuh uh, It was just him choosing to leave and wanting to stay,” he snapped, not in a harsh way though.

“But-”

“You know what, let’s just try and summon them another day. I don’t think it’d work anyways.” Namjoon said, dismissing the topic by waving his hand, taking a glance at the tree outside.

[:] Wooshy flash back time I guess [:]

“Why are you still here?” (Y/N) looked at Namjoon, “I mean weren’t you supposed to leave this year?”

“I was supposed to leave instead of Hobi last year. I asked to stay.” Namjoon was sitting nonchalantly in one of the lounge chairs in her parents' living room reading the book she was supposed to be reading for school.

“Why didn’t you leave when you were supposed to?” (Y/N) looked at the demon, a look of confusion evident on her features.

“Who else is supposed to write your book reports for school?” Namjoon smirked while holding up the book before going back to reading said book.

“Then why did Hobi leave? Did he not want to be attached anymore?” (Y/N) began to tear up.

“It’s not that. I asked to stay because I felt I wasn’t ready to leave yet and Hoseok felt he was ready to leave. Most of the time, we leave when our time comes (Y/N). Hobi and mine were at the same time and I wanted to stay so I stayed.” Namjoon smiled at (Y/N).

“But why didn’t Hobi want to stay?” (Y/N)’s tears were flowing freely at this point.

“(Y/N)! Are you crying?” (Y/N)’s mom came rushing downstairs to investigate why her only child was crying.

“I’m fine.” Even (Y/N) wasn’t convincing herself, “Really Mom, I’m just over exhausted. I’m gonna go up to my room.”

[:] And back to the present :) [:]

“Are you almost ready to go?” Namjoon popped his head into the bedroom, “We have to leave soon if you want to be on time for school.”

“I’m almost ready, relax. And don’t you have a class to teach and a non-ribbed dick to get sucked by that one bitch for an A?” (Y/N) scoffed from where she was printing an essay that Namjoon had written the night before.

Namjoon started counting down from five, “Five- You better fucking get your ass in gear or you’re gonna be late. Four- Seriously (Y/N). Three- Professor Howard can’t give you another pass just because he likes you. Two-” Namjoon got cut off by (Y/N).

“I’m ready, asshole.” (Y/N) looked at him, “You better not let that bitch Brianna suck your dick.”

“I won’t let her suck my dick!” Namjoon raised his hands in defense, “What about my toes though?” (Y/N) looked at the demon with a face of disgust and looked at him from head to toe.

“Are you Namjoon or Taehyung?” She squinted, looking at his face.

“It was a joke!” Namjoon smirked, “But I'm sure she’ll do it for an A anyway.”

“I’m done with this conversation Casper.” With that (Y/N) slung her bag over her shoulder and left.

“Hey wait!” Namjoon grabbed his own bag before speed walking after (Y/N).

[:] Professor Casper or Daddy Casper? [:]

“SO.” (Y/N) sat down across from Namjoon in his office, “Rumour has it that you’re dating a cute english-lit major and are up for evaluation. What say you in your defense?”

“I mean I am dating a cute english-lit major. But I’m not up for evaluation, I used my demon charms to get out the punishment.”

Namjoon looked at (Y/N) seriously.

“Did you actually?” (Y/N) gaped at Namjoon.

“No. I explained that dating you is punishment enough.” Namjoon smiled, his dimples popping.

“Bastard.” (Y/N)looked at Namjoon.

“Bitch.” Namjoon smirked at (Y/N) before leaning over the desk and kissing her on the forehead, “I love you.”

“Good.” (Y/N) blushed.

There, through the window of the office, there were 6 peeping toms watching the couple.

“Adadada-uda,” Taehyung stuttered, “THEY’RE SO CUTE!”

“This looks like it’d turn out like a straight porn video on the hub,” Yoongi says bluntly.

Jungkook looked at Yoongi, “Ew straight.”

“Moving on,” Seokjin cleared his throat, “Does anyone remember when (Y/N) said I love you back?”

A series of “No’s” could be heard.

“Maybe we weren’t watching!” Jimin raised his hands, “But when were we not watching?”

“Oh I know!” Hoseok interrupted, “When they split up because of classes earlier. We left Yoongi hyung in charge just in case something happened.”

“I took a nap and must've missed it.” The guilty demon shrugged.

“No, (Y/N) definitely isn’t someone who confesses straight up.” Seokjin said, stroking his chin. The rest nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, that's why she didn’t have a man when we were still there.” Jungkook snorted.

“No JK, we all know the reason why (Y/N) was always single. Was because she was pining after Namjoon.” Jimin stated the obvious.

[:] Damn. Imagine having someone to kiss in public. Or at all. [:]

“So how do you reckon the staff caught onto us… I mean PDA really isn’t our thing.” Namjoon looked at (Y/N), “Who have you told?”

“I haven’t told anyone!” (Y/N) frowned, “Maybe someone saw us go home together? I bet it was that bitch Brianna. She gives off the stalker vibes.”

“I’m not gonna let her suck my dick.” Namjoon looked at (Y/N), “And she’s already failing my class so even if I did let her suck my non-ribbed punisher, she still would probably only have a D-.”

“Hey- I thought we stopped referring to your dick as non-ribbed.” Namjoon raised a brow, making a face that said ‘you’re-the-one-who-started-it.’

Reading his expression (Y/N) glared at the demon, “Technically you’re the one who started it because you freely admitted it freely.”

“What makes you find out the hard way that my dick isn’t ribbed?” Namjoon looked at (Y/N) suggestively before flopping namtiddie first into the couch.

“I think I would've preferred finding out the hard way.” (Y/N) flopping onto Namjoon’s hard back.

“So I can’t even have the couch to myself?” Namjoon groaned before realizing what (Y/N) meant by ‘finding out the hard way,’ “Are you saying you rather had found out in the heat of the moment after having prepared yourself for a ribbed demon dick?” Namjoon leaned his head up to bump (Y/N) who still had her fat ass on his back, “I can’t breathe, get off.”

(Y/N) rolled off of Namjoon before plopping herself down in front of Namjoon, “That’s exactly what I am saying.”

[:] Smh stalkers at every moment [:]

“And I got a big fat ass!” (Y/N) shook her ass while singing off-key.

“Your ass is everything but big, baby.” Namjoon passed (Y/N) to reach for the garlic from the spice cabinet.

The girl turned and looked at Namjoon with an offended look, “You know. As my rental boyfriend, you’re supposed to be nice.”

Garlic forgot, Namjoon turned to (Y/n) and grabbed her waist, “I’m not your rental boyfriend and you know that.”

(Y/N) laughed, “Okay go off I guess, not my rental boyfriend.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes before pushing Namjoon away.

“Woman,” Namjoon placed a hand over his heart, “You wound me.”

(Y/N) turned around and smiled at her demon, “I could argue that you’re the one that wounds me.”

“I do not wound you.” Namjoon scoffs, “But I could very well wound you if you keep saying i’m a rental boyfriend, love.”

“Well we wouldn’t want you to wound me now would we,” (Y/N) smiled up at Namjoon before leaning in and placing a quick peck to his lips, “I love you.”

Namjoon smiled before returning (Y/N)’s peck with a chaste kiss, “I love you too, baby.”

*Meanwhile from the dining room 6 men were watching from not so afar*

“Hyung! Hyung! Did you see that!” Jungkook excitedly pointed towards the couple in the kitchen.

Yoongi groaned, “See what?”

“Le gasp! How could you have missed that!” Taehyung held a hand over his heart, “(Y/N) initiated affection for once!”

Jin smiled, “It really was adorable.”

[:] Oh look, you're at the end. [:]

“Every kiss begins with consent.” Namjoon wiggled his shoulders while grading papers at the table.

(Y/N) smirked before leaning over the table and planting a large whet kiss on Namjoon’s cheek.

“Rude.” Namjoon scoffed before pulling (Y/N) in for a proper kiss.

“You know that kiss didn’t have much of my consent in it.” (Y/N) smiled before leaning in for another kiss.

“I don’t think I consented to that either though.” Namjoon smiled.

“Get back to work baby.” (Y/N) nudged Namjoon towards his pile of papers.

“Yeah yeah.” Namjoon smiled before looking down and putting a big red ‘F’ on a paper clearly marked Brianna Simms.

“When will she just drop the class?” (Y/N) chuckled, “Dumbass.”

all rights reserved © misfit-fics

do not repost, translate, or claim as your own. :]

[wildnya]

Fun fact, I fucking hate nickels. Most useless coin of the US currency. Like why do they even exist? Out of spite? They're chunkier than the other coins, they're uglier than the other coins, they're always the damn thing the cash register uses to give you your change. It's gross.

And I can argue this on facts and logic too! You have the one dollar coin (epic like the design very much and also good substitute for the paper money), the half-dollar (hardly gets a fucking pass but it's big and good looking and can split a buck in half), the quarter (my favorite coin of all time), the dime (splits it all in ten like a good coin) and the penny (nice coppery smell and again one unit for the whole one hundred penny buck).

You have 1.00, 0.50, 0.25, 0.10, and 0.01. 1/1, 1/2, 1/4, 1/10, and 1/100 Perfect as per according to all things and logic.

But this fucking coin ruins it all! 0.05? 1/20? It's mathematically, aesthetically, and visually ugly. I mean what kind of fucking psycho would actually use a fucking nickel in a monetary transaction and expect that to be okay? You fucking don't. If something costs 65 cents, you can give them a half dollar, a dime, and five pennies. I don't care if it's 'a waste of time and space' because if anything, it would be genuinely better if this was the case.

And what kind of coin named after a metal only has 25% of the actual element in it? It's not even authentic in that sense!

I have a genuine wish to see nickels barred from circulation and society. Coin collectors and cash registers can fuck right off. They all need to be collected, taken from people by force if necessary, melted down, forged into a giant disk of 25% nickeled disappointment, strapped to a missile, and shot into the sun to melt upon contact like the fucking pathetic coin it is because it is truly the worst thing that I've ever had to deal with in my life.

Just had to get that off my chest for a second there. But yeah I don't like nickels.

[fuck-customers]

Sometimes it feels like my store is the only one in the area still effected by the national coin shortage, but let me tell you... It's turning this job (that I had already started to hate) into a fucking nightmare. I've got two stories from just this past week, so prepare for a long one. 

1) Customer didn't have change at the register next to mine, so my coworker asks the standard: Do you have another form of payment, or would you like to round up your change to donate to the local foodbank? questions. Of course neither of these options are acceptable for him, so she explains that we're not allowed to shortchange either the customers OR our drawers, so if he's not willing to budge on the other two, we can't process his transaction. 

And he starts giving her a hard time. I'm sure you can imagine the blustery, entitled, "So you're saying you're turning away my business?!" bullshit that followed. The older man who'd just finished checking out at my register butts in to give him the 14 cents he needed, telling him to stop being an asshole. Which, of course, caused more words to be exchanged between the two of them. (Which continued out into the parking lot... We literally thought we were going to have to call the cops to break up a fight 30 minutes into our shift.)

But what REALLY gets me... is that at the end of it, when the older man had walked away ahead of the problem customer... my coworker apologized to him, doing the usual customer service groveling... And the guy starts reassuring her that it wasn't her fault. That he didn't know where the nice customer had come from and who he thought he was, etc. And I just wanted to turn to him and be like, "You realize you WERE being an asshole, right?"

And THEN... 

2) Two days later, my shift had gone surprisingly well. Like, I couldn't remember the last time a shift had been so painless. We literally breezed through the first 7 hours. And then 10 PM hit. And, right on the dot, one of the worst customers I've had to date walked up to my register.

His order came to $12.22.  I had to go through the whole spiel with him too. About how we had no coins. And he wouldn't donate the rest of the 78 cents to bring it up to an even 13. And he only had cash to pay with, and he emptied his pockets and only had a nickel and three pennies. Remember that. 

Now, I hate being that person who then tells the customer I can't finish their transaction. I avoid confrontation at all costs, and sometimes that backfires on me. I know I'm not SUPPOSED to give back incorrect change, but to a lot of people, it's better than nothing. So I explain that I wouldn't be able to give him back all the change I'd owe him.  

And he made sounds like he understood and that was fine. He paid with a $20 bill. I had literally one quarter and, like, 20-something pennies in my drawer. Figuring he wouldn't want the handful of pennies, I gave him back the 7 dollars and 25 cents. 

He proceeds to throw the biggest tantrum about how I've shortchanged him. And I explain the coin shortage again, like we hadn't JUST had this conversation, but there was just no pleasing him. He let me know he REFUSED to be shortchanged and went on and on about how there was something wrong with me to be holding up the line like this, while I called my manager up and waited for her to get up here. (You know, so she could tell him the exact same thing.) 

Now, here's the kicker.

By the time the manager got up here, he was trying to say that I actually owed him eight dollars. That he'd paid with the $20 bill and the single quarter I'd given him out of my drawer literal minutes earlier. 

Like, no, fuckface. We established pretty clearly that you only had EIGHT CENTS in coins. If you'd had the change, we wouldn't still be here. You think I want to be dealing with this shit, with less than an hour now until my shift ends?! 

It's been a week, and my blood is still boiling. This job is literally starting to keep me up at night, stressing over my next shift creeping closer.  Every single customer has got me braced for the next confrontation. We literally just had a coworker get transferred to a less stressful location after being diagnosed with PTSD, and I'm starting to think she won't be the only one. I'm also about ready to walk through the door and then spend the entirety of my shift crying in the backroom. I seriously can't take much more of this. 

[enbies-and-felonies]

whats your favorite coin? like money coins. idk why, but why not

OOHH!! One question I didn’t know I wanted to answer!! Imma rate them bc bc (tw swearing and caps)

6. Fucking pennies, I hate them. You can’t trust a penny. They will stab you in the back as soon as they get their chance. But they are fun to find on the ground and flip them over so the head is facing up so they’re lucky 

5. NICKELS, fucking B I T C H E S, all of em. Act all high and mighty when they’re not even an even amount. Bigger than they need to be and all clunky. (what’s with the silver, huh Nick? YOU FUCKING IMPOSTER. Five-cent whore {okay I don't like that. makes my heart icky}is what you are)

4. Quarters. So big and weird. kinda sus ngl. Nothing against them personally, but they’re the type of coin to not understand when things are problematic and joke abt triggers.

3. Golden dollars. Kinda shifty-eyed. Make em think that they’re all that, but really they’re just waiting to steal something from you. FuckBoys if they were more respectable.

2. Silver dollars. Abnormally huge, I love them, So dorky and weird. They’re good in all the ways nickels are the scum of the earth. himbo energy

1. Dimes. Smol and sweet, but also sarcastic and don’t give a fuck. (y’know Five, from the umbrella academy? Like that.) Very loyal, actually needs a hug. I lomv.

(I’m so sorry for infodumping my feelings about coins)