#TURNED IN MY LAST ASSIGNMENT OF THE SEMESTER AND I AM IN SOME KIND OF A MOOD

[astriiformes]

2023 AFFIRMATIONS:

RISE AGAIN, RISE AGAIN

ICARUS IS A MYTH

GO MAKE SOME NEW DISASTER

IF IT SUCKS, HIT DA BRICKS

THIS IS NOT YOUR GRAVE; GET OUT OF THE HOLE

DUST THOU ART TO DUST RETURNEST WAS NOT SPOKEN OF THE SOUL

[tasteracha]

professor bang

word count: 2.3k

warnings: unprotected sex, power imbalance (grad student x professor), multiple orgasms, chan calling the reader pet/good girl

synopsis: you laid out a perfectly crafted trap to seduce the hot professor - too bad he’s one step ahead of you.

the midday air is unsuspecting as you walk down the creaky hallway, floorboards of the psychology building groaning under your feet. the nerves are close to eating you up whole but you continue walking, too far into your plan to turn back now - you know what you want, and you’re going to get it. no one turns an eye as you walk past open doors, the hem of your dress swishing around your knees. they’re accustomed to seeing you here, being a graduate student in the department means you spend more time here than you do in your own apartment. 

you stop at one door in a series of identical ones, only told apart by a worn out plaque listing a room number and a shinier, newer one reading “christopher bang, ph.d.” underneath it.

the door is cracked just a bit, enough for you to peer inside and there he is, standing in front of his desk, wearing a crisp white shirt under a grayish-blue blazer. his pants are too tight to be suitable for a professor, and they cling to his thighs and stretch across his ass perfectly, making you pause in the doorway with a hungry stare that lasts for too many seconds. 

when you look up you meet his eyes and it makes you jump; you didn’t know that he knew you were there. this doesn’t fit in the plan.

the plan you cooked up when he got a little too cozy with you during the department holiday party last semester. the plan you’ve been making and scrapping and working yourself up to execute, avoiding him at every corner so that he wouldn’t know. you were supposed to surprise him, walk in pretending like you needed help with some assignment, getting closer and closer to him until your breaths were intermingling and then you’d look into his eyes and he would glance at your lips and-

and now he’s caught you checking him out like some kind of creep. 

“oh, hi y/n,” he says, eyes turning crinkly as he looks at you with a shit-eating grin. fuck.  

now that you’ve been found out, you slide inside the gap in the door, shutting it closed behind you and letting the lock click behind your back. if he notices, he doesn’t react, steady eyes trained on you as your feet take you closer and closer to his desk.

“hi professor bang,” you say, surprised by how clear your voice comes out. that’s good, you wouldn’t want him to know how nervous you are just yet, it would add to his smugness and you didn’t know if you could handle his ego being even bigger than it is right now. 

“what can i do for you?” he says, crossing his arms and leaning against the desk. the blazer stretches over his shoulders and the material does nothing to hide his biceps and your mouth waters. he quirks an eyebrow at you when you don’t speak for a moment, and you have to clear your throat before any sound comes out.

“i needed some help with a research project,” you say, moving close enough to him that if anyone were to walk in they would absolutely report the both of you for some kind of ethical violation. good thing you locked the door, then. “i was hoping you could be of service.”

“oh?” he leans further back into the desk, fully relaxed in a way you wish you were. “what kind of project?”

“well, it has to do with human connection,” you trail a finger across the collar of his blazer, further down until it catches on a button, in a show of false confidence. “i was looking to maybe get some hands-on experience? for research, of course.”

you feel a swell of victory when his breath catches in his throat and his arms loosen from where they were crossed to drop at his side. 

“well i certainly am the expert in that domain,” he drawls, eyes flickering down to your lips and back up. “i did write my dissertation on it, after all.”

it’s a lie - you’ve read his dissertation, full of information about cognitive theory and eye movements and other things that honestly went way over your head. not a single mention of human connection was in that document, but the fact that he’s so readily playing along with you means that you didn’t misread anything. either he wants you, or he enjoys toying with you; either way, you were on board.

even more so when he takes his blazer off, throwing it off to the side like it didn’t cost him an aggressive amount of money to buy. you’ve seen the designer labels on him plenty of times enough to know he likes to treat himself to nice things. 

you’re hoping you can be his next nice thing, the next possession that he flaunts and parades around. 

you lean in for a kiss, but he surprises you and flips the both of you around until you’re backed up into the desk. he’s leaning over you, dark eyes looking down at you like you’re his prey. 

“let’s even the playing field a bit, shall we?” his voice has gone down, low and sultry, and you feel your head loll back from how it makes you feel. he makes quick work of removing your dress, letting the material pool to the floor so he could focus on your bra. it’s your favorite one, lacey and red and sexy, the material leaving nothing to the imagination. he takes a second to admire it, fingering at the strap around your shoulder and sliding his thumb into the cup before he reaches behind you and unhooks it in one try. it joins his blazer and your dress on the floor a moment later, and you’re left feeling exposed in front of him. 

“how is this even?” you ask, resisting the urge to cover yourself with your hands. “you’re still wearing all of your clothes.”

“well, sweetheart,” he starts, moving impossibly closer to you. “we’re in my office. that means i get to decide the rules, no?”

he swipes an arm across the table behind you before you can answer. papers flutter in the air, and he’s hiking you up onto the desk before they reach the ground. his hands are under your thighs, spreading them apart so he can fit between them. one of his hands snakes into the band of your underwear, your sensitive skin erupting in goosebumps from his touch.

“so wet,” he says, a smirk painting his face as his fingers part your folds to make slow circles around your clit. it shouldn’t be enough to send shivers up your spine, but it’s him, so it does.

“for you,” you say, looking up at him through your lashes. the amused glint in his eyes turns sharp, dark and possessive. just what you wanted. 

“this is mine?” he asks, cupping you in his hand while his other reaches around the small of your back to hold you close to him.

“yours,” you hum, nodding even though his attention certainly wasn’t on your head.

he dips his fingers inside of you, gliding easily inside from how his fingers are coated with your juices. when he crooks his fingers and thumbs at your clit your head tips back, and you might have lost your balance if he wasn’t holding you so close that you could feel his breath on your skin. 

it’s on your third time stumbling over the word professor that he leans into your ear and tells you to call him chris, his lips kissing your ear as he works you to your high. you’re shaking apart on his desk and yet he doesn’t relent, he continues to move his fingers with fervor until you can’t help but push at his chest to get him to stop. 

“chris,” you stutter out when he latches his lips to your neck, open mouthed and hot as his fingers move to grab at your thighs. his hands are so big, veins bulging as he digs his fingers in. you hope there are bruises there, tomorrow. and the next day. 

“gonna fuck you now, okay?” he says, voice husky. “for research.”

“yeah, research,” you breath out, using both your hands to cradle his face so that you could kiss him, finally. his lips are as soft as you imagined, plushy pillows that you could find yourself lost in for hours. he keeps his lips on yours as he moves your underwear down and off, helping you balance so he could slide it under your thighs until you’re bare in front of him. you’re unbuttoning his shirt with shaky fingers, and he chuckles against you when you can’t get one of them open.

“funny?” you break away from him, eyes trained on the way his lips are red and slick with spit. 

“you’re cute,” condescension lines his voice and a spark of anger runs through you at how he knows he has the upper hand. he gently takes your hands away from his clothes and makes quick work of them himself. in what feels like a split second, he’s stripped of his shirt and pants and he’s pulling down his boxers, revealing smooth planes of muscle and strong thighs and bulging arms that you’ve fantasized about for months. you don’t know if you want to cover them in bites or let him crush you with them more - there will be time for that, the next time. 

you know there’s going to be a next time if it’s already this good and he’s barely even done anything to you yet. 

he spreads your thighs apart further, and you don’t miss how he licks his lips at the view of your dripping cunt in front of him before he lines himself up at your entrance. you barely got a glimpse of his cock, but your mouth waters at the idea of it being inside of you. he glides his cock through your folds a few time, slicking himself up before pressing his head inside of you. 

when he bottoms out you can’t help but tighten your walls around him, helpless to the desires of your own body, and the groan he lets out makes you clench down even harder. 

“relax, pet,” he says, panting a bit. his thumb strokes at the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh. “i’m going to take good care of you okay? but you need to relax for me.”

he leans down to kiss you again, and it must be a good enough distraction because he begins moving in time with the swipes of his tongue on your teeth. every time he rocks into you the air punches out of your lungs, you’re so full. he moves his face to the crook of your neck to hide his own labored breaths when he increases his pace, thrusting into you faster than you can keep up with. 

he’s pressing you into the desk with each movement of his hips, the sharp corner against your legs sending pricks of pain up to your head. the game is over, the research bit is done, now it’s just chris taking what he wants from you. you love it. his arms wrap around you, keeping you upright, and you latch onto him like a lifeline. you’re completely at his mercy, entirely submissive to the way he’s keeping you still so he can use you. 

you can tell he’s close when he pushes his head even further into your skin, fingers gripping your back and his movements becoming sharp and purposeful. he spills into you a second later with a bite to your neck, and you can’t help yourself from following him as your head tips back in pleasure. 

when he pulls out you wince, the emptiness that he’s left you with feeling worse than you’ve ever felt with anyone else. he lowers you onto the desk slowly, letting your head rest on his mousepad as he runs his hands up and down your sides in comforting sweeps. you’re utterly spent, two orgasms hitting your limit, even more intense coming from him. 

“one more,” he drawls out, not showing compassion at all for the way you’re panting and drooling onto his desk. “you can do one more for me, can’t you?”

“no, no, no,” your voice comes out thready and light, barely a sound. his hand returns to your core either way, slow circles of his fingers around your clit making your body twitch with each pass. the oversensitivity is too much, but you’re too weak to pull away from him. you don’t even know if you want to, anymore. 

“there’s my good girl,” he grins when you whine and rut down onto his hand. you didn’t know it was possible, but the coils in your lower belly start to tighten faster than before. you’re coming before you even realize it’s happening, pleasure seeping from your core to your fingertips, an all encompassing sensation that you can’t put words to. it lasts for what feels like forever, waves and waves of ecstasy rocking through your body until your vision blacks out for a moment. 

“you did so good,” he finally stops and you press your legs together to stop him from returning. he’s pressing kisses to your body, your thighs and your stomach up to your neck and cheeks as he mumbles praises into your skin. his hand runs through your hair, pushing the sweaty locks that were stuck to your forehead out of the way so he could press a final, sweet kiss to your forehead. “so good for me. so pretty, my precious pet.”

and even as he takes care of you, cleans you up and helps you back into your clothes and feeds you water, you’re holding back a smirk. because he thinks he has the upper hand, he thinks he won, but you can guarantee that he’ll be knocking at your door before the week is over.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Imagine Riri finding you her roommate is an ex-Avenger

You were a last minute type of person when it came studying for exams. Which meant pulling all nighters the day before the test was frequent for you, and afterwards you would catch on all your sleep. Once your classes were over able to sleep with peace knowing you aced the test. So once you were sleep you were truly dead to the world, and anything happening.

Your roommate Riri Williams already knew this but still did her best to not disturb you. When she entered the shared dorm room quietly dropping her backpack on the floor by her workstation. She could make out your form bundled under two blankets and a duvet. The thermostat was set on cool making the room pretty chilly, and while she was tempted to change it. She knew going to bed cold only to wake up hot later was one of your pet peeves, and didn't want to do that to you. Instead she was getting ready to raid her closet for a hoodie when someone knocked on the door.

"Riri Williams" an unfamiliar voice called out.

Riri assumed it was a fellow classmate who wanted her to take care of an assignment for them. She let out a sigh of exasperation checking her phone for any new alerts. Before heading over to open the door she had built a whole website to handle future requests, and so far only a few of her clients actually used it. "Hey I don't take house calls anymore you gotta use the website" she told the mystery person.

The stranger placed their phone over her own in her direct line of vision. "I have a encrypted file I want you to air drop it."

Riri looked up mouth open to reply but her words were lost on her tongue. When her eyes landed on the Princess of Wakanda as they widened in surprise. It took her a few seconds but she did regain the ability to speak. "You're Princess Shuri" she whispered moving back to let her in.

Shuri put a finger to her mouth walking into the room, and motioned for her to close the door. Riri shut the door in confusion trying to figure out what could the Princess of Wakanda want with her? Was she even here for her, or was it you she was looking for? While you and Riri got along pretty well and ended up becoming great friends. She didn't know that much about you or your past life. You kind of just showed up out of nowhere starting the semester a little late. Apparently you received your acceptance later for MIT months before graduation, and but you didn't decide to attend college until the last minute. Which is why you were shoved into her dorm at the last minute initially Riri was supposed to have her dorm to herself. But your last minute decision left the front office scrambling trying to find somewhere to put you.

"Um am I being recruited?" Riri finally asked with a hopeful tone.

Shuri paused to turn around giving her a dead look. "No" she answered without hesitation. "I'm here about the vibranium detector you built for the CIA."

Riri raised her eyebrows even more confused than before. "I didn't build that for the CIA that was a class project."

"A class project" Shuri repeated in disbelief.

"Yeah my professor said I would never be able to do it but to be young, gifted, and black though right." She replied not hiding the pride she was feeling as she walked around the Princess to get to her bed.

"How long did it take you?" The Princess asked looking over her workstation.

"A couple of months it took me a while to gather some of the parts" Riri started to explain. But she halted her explanation as paranoia took over. "Hold on did I piss off Wakanda?" she asked standing back up.

"Not just us this place is no longer safe for you I need you to pack your things, and come with me right now" Shuri demanded.

"Aye I have differential equations class in like fifteen minutes" Riri protested with a nervous chuckle. But then saw the are you serious look on Shuri's face, and looked away in shame. On the inside she was freaking out and wanted nothing more than to bolt out of the room. The only problem with that plan though was Shuri stood between her and the exit. So she had to stay calm and figure out another way out.

"Alright yeah um just let me go to bathroom real quick." Riri said not sounding convinced at all as she inched around the Princess who watched as she headed for the bathroom. She made halfway through the door before cursing and retreating back into the corner of the room by the windows.

Okoye walked out the bathroom with her hands folded behind her back.

"I had it under control" Shuri insisted slightly irritated.

"I said you had five minutes I gave you six" Okoye replied.

Riri watched in fear as both of them advanced on her. Shuri held a hand out as if to tell her to keep calm, but Okoye didn't look like she was playing any games.

"Get out" Riri argued. "Get out of my dorm"

"Just calm down" Shuri pleaded

Riri looked around for something to defend herself with and settled for the speaker on the desk. She snatched it up and held it in her arms ready to throw it. "I swear you better not take another step towards me."

"Mmph see how the children here treat their guests" Okoye said to Shuri in a tone of disappointment. Riri took the opportunity to heave the speaker towards them. Okoye whipped her hand out and a small metal rod extended into a full spear slicing the speaker in half.

Shuri and Riri mouths dropped open in shock at the action.

"You brought a spear in here" both of them exclaimed at the same time.

That was when you let out a soft groan while shifting around in your bed. Riri's eyes lit up with joy during all the commotion she had forgotten about you. Okoye and Shuri turned around looking in your direction, but didn't see you immediately hidden under the pile of covers.

"Y/N wake your ass up now" Riri shouted in desperation. You were her last hope there was no way they could force her to go with them with a witness.

Your eyes flew open and somehow you picked on the tone of distress in her voice. As you sat right up doing your best to untangle yourself from the blankets. Your eyes were still adjusting to the light so you could barely make out two grown figures standing a few feet away. You ended up rolling right of bed and hitting the floor in your haste to get up. But you were back on your feet immediately. "Hey what the hell is going on? Leave her alone" you demanded groggily.

This wasn't the first time Riri found herself in a bit of a pickle. There had been a few mishaps early on in the year when some guys decided they wanted to use her services for free. When she said no they would turn up to her door trying to use cheap scare tactics, or just threaten her. But instead they would run into you who had no problem putting them in their place. You assumed that was what was going on here until you finally came to fully.

"Is this your roommate" Shuri asked Riri turning to her with a grin.

"Yeah and she knows a bunch of karate and stuff, so you guys better just go alright. I'm not going back to Wakanda with y'all" she said. Although the way both of them were unbothered about your presence did have her nervous. Why did Shuri look so ecstatic.

If only she knew the truth about your secret identity.

The last time Shuri saw you was a year ago considering you were one of the few Avengers who actually made it to T'Challa's funeral. You and her were extremely close meeting each other when you paid Bucky a visit in Wakanda during his time there. The two of you bonded over being so young yet having so much responsibility. When Thanos's alien army invaded Wakanda you were there protecting her from the aliens. When they breached the lab, and after her and T'Challa was snapped away. You put your life on the line to help get them back.

Although she was use to seeing you all suited up in your hero fit, and not in a pair of sweatpants and a oversized gray T-shirt. Shuri recognized you perfectly. "Hey y/n I didn't know you were in college."

"Shuri is that you and Okoye?" You asked rubbing the back of your neck.

"Yes it is so this is what you gave up being Avenger for" Okoye answered.

"Um yeah you know the hero stuff wasn't the same after we defeated Thanos you know. Tony and Nat died, Steve got old, Thor went off to space, and well things just got weird. I decided to take a break try to have an actual normal life considering no one really knows my real idenitiy." You explained stretching your body a bit.

"Hold up what" Riri said cutting into the conservation. A tone held a mixture of surprise and anger.

"Shit Riri you didn't know wait why are you guys here hassling my roommate anyway?" You finally asked walking over to stand between them and her. Riri was still caught off guard at the revelation of you not only knowing them but being a Avenger, yet she still appreciated the way you were protecting her. She knew she could count on you.

A tiny smirk formed on Shuri's face as she took in the way you stood protectively in front of Riri. "Your roommate built a vibranium detector and made a merman with winged ankles very upset. Now he wants her dead, and we need to get her back to Wakanda where she will be safe."

There was a moment of silence as both you and Riri took in everything she had said.

"But maybe she will be alright considering she has an Avenger to protect her" Okoye added with a grin.

"What" Riri said in confusion.

You whirled around to face her with a judging look. "Did you really build a vibranium detector?"

She gave you a tiny nod.

"Why would you do that? Did you really think any good would come from that?" You continued.

"Hey are we not going to talk about you being an Avenger" Riri demanded trying to change the subject.

"A freaking merman with winged ankles is after you Rri" You exclaimed throwing your hands in the air.

"Okay okay you got a point" she agreed her eyes drifting downard in guilt.

"So are you going to come with us or what now?" Shuri butted in.

"Look maybe there’s another hey-" her protest was cut off as you closed the distance between the you and her. You proceeded to throw her over your shoulders with little to no effort as if she weighed nothing. "Y/N what are you doing put me down."

"No way we don't have time for this we need to get moving." You said turning around to head over to get her backpack. Before looking over at Shuri and Okoye who both had a expression of amusement on their faces.

"I guess this means you're going to tag along" Okoye said.

You shrugged your shoulders tightening your hold on Riri as she struggled. "I've never seen a merman before if I'm going to get back in the game. It mind as well be for this."

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" Shuri prompted eyes drifting to Riri before finding yours again. A teasing smirk on her face.

It was a good thing Riri couldn't see your facial expression, and the waves of nervousness coming off of you. "Well college is getting kind of boring too" you lied.

"Y/N wait okay just wait a second" Riri tried to reason with you. She finally realized she was getting nowhere with her struggling, and came to the conclusion that super strength was probably one of your powers.

"Just relax Riri this is going to be fun I promise okay. I'm not going to let anything happen to you roomie."

"But-" she started again.

"Hey you trust me right."

"Yeah"

"You know I'm going to protect you right"

"Yes" she sighed in defeat

"Then stop worrying" You told her as you started walking towards the door. Shuri opened it for you with Okoye bringing up the rear. "Will you at least put me down and let me walk on my own please?" Riri asked. A bit annoyed at being carried by you like some toddler she had a reputation to uphold.

"Nope you might run plus I actually like carrying you." You replied adjusting your hold on her.

Riri pouted as Shuri chuckled at the exchange.

[savventeen]

OOH IF YOU'RE STILL TAKING ASKS FOR THE TROPE THING can i get vernon and like you two are assigned partners on an art project but he's awful at art LMFAO okay thank love you xx

JJ BELOVED HI HELLO I AM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO THIS <333333

okay first of all i LOVE this idea skfjllkdfl this would definitely be a fun, comedic, romcom nonsense fic hehehe

i'm picturing this being set in like, a fucking calculus class and this project is the professor's way of trying to "bring more creativity to the sciences" or whatever. and vernon's just like. 'dude. how on earth is making a collage...sculpture...thing... supposed to help me learn calculus???' no one in the class really gets it either, since they can just, you know, do the math without having to create anything. but whatever, a little arts n crafts never hurt anyone [spoiler alert: it maybe hurts someone *cough*vernon*cough* a little at some point]

anyway, vernon ends up being partnered up with reader who, thank god, actually has an idea for what they can do for their project and also talks like someone who knows about art. in fact, they seem really into art and like, super pumped for this project. which is great! except, they're also really cute? and like, they're maybe kinda sorta the person he's been lowkey crushing on from afar since last semester???

and because having a crush sometimes makes you say/do stupid things, he tells reader that he can totally help with the art portion, easy peasy. [narrator voice: it was not, in fact, easy peasy] queue montage of the week leading up to when they're supposed to meet up again: - vernon desperately watching all kinds of youtube videos trying to learn how to Art™️ - him walking into a Michael's and just being so lost and overwhelmed that he just. has a bit of an existential crisis in the fabric section - he somehow manages to accidently cut himself with a pair of scissors while trying to do some kind of papercraft thing and has to go to the nurse's office. - his roommate (let's make it chan for funsies) is convinced that he's having some kind of mental breakdown "hyung, i don't know what to do, he's just staring at a pile of children's playdough like it holds the secrets of the universe. or maybe like it killed his pet goldfish. i don't know, he's just being weird."

all of this leads up to when reader and vernon meet up again to present their 'prototypes' of the art part of the project so they can decide which they like better and then start actually working on it. reader is already at the cafe they agreed to meet at, and vernon (sleep deprived and already overly caffeinated) walks up to where reader is sitting, drops his sad attempt at art on the table, and blurts "i lied about being good at art because you're really cute and it broke my brain a little bit and i'm actually really, really bad at it. i'm so sorry." and then he fucking WALKS AWAY because he's a LOSER and you were extra cute today and his brain is still a bit broken and reader ends up having to chase him down the street, his shitty attempt at art clutched in one hand, to tell him that it's fine, they can handle the art part as long as he does his fair share of the math

"and like. maybe i could, teach you? sometime? if you want to learn, that is. and i'm not the best artist, but i've taught some summer camp classes before, and—" / "wait, you'd really wanna do that? after seeing how bad at it i am?" / "well... it means i'd get to spend some extra time with you outside of school, so... yeah"

vernon of course readily agrees, and they start going on little art dates together (and yes, they're Date dates bc vernon finally gets his shit together and asks them out) and they get a solid B- on the project bc while reader is great at art, turns out neither of them are the best at math rip </3

[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]

[therealraeweber]

Hey Tumblr! It's been a hot minute, but I wanted to hop on today and share a project I just finished for my digital media class!

Keep reading to see my process of making this dagger!

Our assignment was super open ended, with the prompt just being "Make a project that involves Blender in some way", so I thought doing something mixed media would be a lot of fun. I'm on a mission this semester to start making art for classes that I WANT TO MAKE, and not just tailor to what I think will get me a good grade and what my profs would like. Honestly, could make a whole post about that mission as it is actually more challenging than I had anticipated, but I digress.

For my dagger, I started by making a quick sketch in Procreate to get an idea of what I wanted my model to look like. I got some inspo off of Pinterest, but tired to make the design my own, and something I could feasibly make.

Since I was making this project for a digital media class, and the assignment was supposed to revolve around using Blender, I made a base 3D model for the dagger, which I would then send off to get printed.

I originally tried to model the vines and leaves in Blender, but I had a really hard time with it, since I am still re-learning how to use Blender (haven't used it since high school). So I decided to make it a mixed media project, since the prof said this assignment was very open ended. Plus, doing mixed media would give me a chance to try out foam clay, which I've been wanting to experiment with for a while.

I then sent my 3D model off to my good friend David, who 3D printed it for me. He was even kind enough to send me a time lapse of it printing!

After printing, David also assembled the base for me, but I put glue in all the seams, followed by filler once that dried, and sanded the whole thing down. It definitely could have used more sanding since you can still see print lines in some places, but I was on a strict time crunch to get this assignment in on time.

Then I went in with my foam clay and started adding the leaves and vines on the handle, as well as the leaf details on the cross-guard. I had never used foam clay before (I know... what kind of cosplayer am I?), but I really enjoyed working with it. I had a bit of a hard time getting it to stick to the plastic, but I found that wetting it and then letting it get a bit tacky really helped with that.

The foam clay I bought was from Michaels, and was technically labeled "Modelling Foam", so I have no idea how it compares to the nice foam clay that most cosplayers use. I would have ordered that, but I decided to do the modelling by hand rather last minute, so I needed to buy what was available in store. Overall I enjoyed working with it, but I would still be interested to try the real stuff some time (assuming it's actually different from this).

After letting the foam clay dry overnight, I started painting it. I primed everything with a silver spray primer, then went over just the blade, pommel, and cross-guard with a more metallic silver spray paint. Thankfully, I had enough paint and primer left over from the two angel blades I made in the summer, so I didn't need to buy more paint for this project. I then painted the handle by hand, which was one of the most tedious paint processes I've ever done, but I'm quite happy with the results.

Last up was some clear coat, as I didn't want to risk any of the paint chipping off. I'm also hoping the clear coat will help seal the foam a bit, as I have no idea how foam clay holds up when used on props. I let the sealant dry overnight last night and this morning it was done! And today I took some pictures of it outside to submit to my prof for grading, and to use during our class critique tonight. Considering I was rushing these last steps after 3D printing, it is a miracle I got it done by the deadline. I'm quite happy with how it turned out!!!

Now I'm just hoping that crit goes well tonight! We'll see if my prof thinks this is too much mixed media for a digital media class...

Anyways, hope you enjoyed seeing my process! I know I haven't posted in ages... I have done and made so many cool things this past month, but I've been too stressed and busy to make posts about them. Hopefully I'll have more time to share stuff with you guys soon!

[munirahayob]

Dealing with people can be challenging.

(Week 10)

Time flies quickly, I can't believe that I'm already in week ten of my first semester. We're mostly busy with quizzes and assessment since our course didn't have that much assignment, except for two subjects.

I already planned to go home this weekend, but hostel management gave us a late notice of an event that they have arranged for the weekend. We weren't allowed to go home, lots of us experienced money loss since some of us already bought tickets to go home. I felt angry, since the organizer said that they've arranged the festival since last month yet they failed to give us an earlier notice. Their failure has caused my friend to lose almost 200 MYR on a ticket.

To be honest, I feel like rebelling, because I need to go home to settle my education loan before the due date. In the end, I decided to just stay at the hostel without rebelling. However during the weekend, my roommate and I fell sick. We can barely get up from our bed, it is worse than a fever or cold. Luckily, mine wasn't that bad but my roommate turned pale almost like a dead person.

As day passed her condition seems to get even worse, so she texted the warden with a pretty long paragraph explaining that she really needs to go home. The warden answered her greetings but didn't give her any permission to go home. At this point, I can't explain how mad I am. My friend decided to just go home, when the warden saw my friend herself looking like a walking dead person, she finally let her go home.

That day, I learned that complaining or getting angry by ourselves or among our friends over something isn't worth it. We should find the right place to file our complaint, so that the management or the people involved can fix their management. On the other hand, it makes me realize what kind of person I shouldn't be in the future. I never want to be a person that causes trouble or makes things harder for others, because I knew the feeling when someone did that to me.

I personally hope that our hostel will fix their management "(

[sparklepool101]

Burgers and Fires

[ Welcome to the CotC fic I finished at 12:40 something am last night because the new episode made me emotional lmao. Spoilers for Craig to the Future below! ]

:readmore:

“Thank you Herkleton! That was the last song of tonight. Exits are located in the back, along with our merch stands wink wink. Have a safe trip home and a rocking night!”

The crowd cheered one last time, before turning and heading back to the lobby, right where Craig was waiting. Kit nudged his arm.

“Alright, last wave of sales.” She said.

“Yep,” Craig said, staring at the doors. Omar and JP had just entered the lobby, laughing together. Kelsey and Stacks were nowhere to be seen.

“I can handle these guys, you go on.” Kit said. Craig jumped a bit before looking back at her. He took in her sideways smile and felt his brow furrow.

“Are you sure? The crowd is bound to be bigger now--”

“Come on Craig, I know you’ve been antsy all night. Go ask them to hang out or something, I can handle the crowd.”

“All right, if you’re sure…” Craig His chest felt like it was full of ants as he approached the duo. It had ended so awkwardly before the concert, but he couldn’t let this chance slip away. Their group had been steadily growing apart since JP entered high school, and he missed his friends so much.

Craig bit the bullet and called out to them. “Hey, JP! Omar!” The two turned their heads.

“Hey, Craig!” JP said, walking over to meet him. “Man, did you see Katie’s trick up there?”

“Nah, I was back at the merch stand.”

“Why?” Omar asked, slinging his arm around JP’s shoulder. “Are they paying ya’?”

“Oh, kind of? David actually commissioned me to make the T-shirts over there and he asked if I’d help man the stand as well.” Craig rubbed the back of his neck.

“Dude really? That’s sick!” Omar said, face lighting up.

“Aw come here!” JP pulled Craig into a hug. “I’m so proud of you man! I’ve definitely gotta buy one now. Babe, you still have my wallet?”

“Right here.” Omar tossed the small leather wallet over to JP, who caught it in one hand.

“Be right back!” JP rushed into the crowd gathered around the stand, leaving Craig and Omar alone,

A few beats of silence passed before Craig gathered up the courage to talk. “So, you guys doing anything after this?”

“Mmm probably just hanging out nearby, maybe grab a bite to eat, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Moment of truth. “You want to come with me to get some burgers?”

“I’m down for that.” Omar smiled. “It’s been way too long since we’ve hung out.” Craig smiled back and put his hands in his pockets. They chatted a bit more while waiting for JP to come back, mostly about teachers at school.

“Oh yeah, no Mrs. Denadio was the worst. One time, she assigned a whole project and only gave us two days to work on it.”

“No. Don’t tell me that’s the final project she’s been talking about all semester.”

“Good luck, man.”

“Hey, guys!” JP called as he ran over, wearing the t-shirt over his sweater. “What do y’all think?” He posed a bit, showing off the shirt.

“As handsome as always, babe. Craig wanted to go grab some food with us, you down for that?”

“Oh absolutely! Let’s go celebrate your first step on the road to fame.

It was odd how easily they fell back into a familiar pattern of banter. (But not at all unwelcome.) Craig felt like he was ten again, walking alongside two of his best friends as they chatted. It just stung remembering that there was only one redhead with them now.

The burger place’s ‘open 24-hours’ sign glowed a neon blue onto the trio’s faces. JP held the door open for the other two as they entered the building. It smelled like over-salted fries and grilled meat, with just a few people sitting at tables.

“Welcome, what can I get you three?” The cashier looked like they wanted to be anywhere else, especially with the huge eye bags they had.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake,” Craig said.

“And add two number three combos to that,” Omar said, pulling out his wallet.

“I can pay for my stuff,” Craig said.

“No way man, I’ll cover tonight.” Omar winked at him and passed a card over to the cashier.

“Thanks.”

“Alright, here’s your receipt. We’ll get the food out in a bit.” The trio stepped back from the register. JP leaned against a pillar while Omar grabbed their cups and went to the soda fountain. Pulling out his phone to text his parents, Craig shot a quick message to the family group chat telling them where he was.

An electronic bell signified that the front door had opened again, and Craig looked up. Kelsey and Stacks walk in hand in hand, Kelsey was rambling about something while Stacks watched her with adoring eyes. Craig felt his heart seize for a moment. The last time he had talked to Kelsey, like really talked to her, was back in middle school, and when they bumped into each other at the concert, she was so quick to find a reason to leave.

“Hey, Kels!” JP called out. Kelsey and Stacks both looked over. Stacks smiled and waved, but for a brief moment, Kelsey looked scared, which terrified Craig more than anything. (Because if he got back in touch with JP and Omar without her, it would never feel right. There would always be something missing.)

“Hi JP! Fancy seeing you here.” Stacks said as she led Kelsey over to the two of them. “You bought one of their shirts?”

“Duh! I had to, especially since ol’ Craiggy boy did the art.” JP boasted, gesturing at Craig who giggled at the old nickname and praise.

Kelsey looked at Craig with wide eyes. “You designed those?”

“Uh, y-yeah.”

“Dude! Those look so good! I didn’t know that you could draw that good! I mean, I knew that you could draw well but, like,” Kelsey started rambling, scrambling for the right words.

“What she means is,” Stacks placed her spare hand on Kelsey’s shoulder. “The shirts look really good, Craig!”

“Thanks.” Craig and Kelsey smiled at each other for a moment before looking away again.

“You want to sit with us?” Craig finally asked, bridging the gap.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s get our food first though.” Kelsey and Stacks walked over to the register.

“Dude, what was that?” Omar said, handing JP his drink. “Did you and Kelsey have a fight or something?”

“No. At least I don’t think so, it just…” Craig sighed. “We kept drifting apart once we stopped hanging out at the Creek as much, once I started high school. We never saw each other in the halls anymore, and I started working on art more seriously and got together with Vanessa, and Kelsey got into wrestling properly and started working on her book with Stacks and… I don’t know. It’s weird.”

“Well,” Omar said, after a long sip of his drink. “I think you guys will be fine.”

“Really?”

“Sometimes you don’t talk to someone for a while, life happens,” Omar shrugged. “But when you are as close as the four of us are, you can always slip right back into a conversation like no time has passed.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so. I mean, just look at us.” Omar smiled.

“Yeah, man!” JP added.

“Thanks, guys.” Craig felt a bit better, like there was hope for the old "Stump Kids" after all.

“Order forty-three!” An employee called from the counter, and Omar ran to go grab it.

“Just talk to her, Craig,” JP said. “Hey, maybe we could even go on a triple date some time!”

“You sure about that?”

“Yeah, I’ll call Maney and ask if she’d be down for that, I know Omar would.”

“I’ll think about it,” Craig said. "And ask Vanessa." Omar came back with the trays of food and led the three of them to a corner booth. Soon, Kelsey and Stacks joined them with their own food.

"So, how's the book going?" JP asked before shoving some fries in his mouth.

"Relly good, actually! We're super close to finishing." Stacks said.

"And then it's getting sent off to the publishers!" Kelsey said with a cheshire grin.

"Man, that's sick! Will ya let me read it once it's done?" Omar said.

"You can buy a copy like everyone else, unless we get a punlishing deal within half a year." Stacks said, smiling slyly.

"Well then, get ready to let us read that book for free because I have no dobut you'll get that deal in no time!" JP cheered.

"Oh to have no knowledge of the publishing world." Kelsey sighed, causing Stacks to giggle.

The conversation fell into a lull, leaving the group to pick at their food. Craig glanced up at Kelsey sitting across from him, and steeled his resolve.

"I'm sorry, Kelsey."

"Huh?" Kelsey looked up at Craig, fry halfway on the way to her mouth.

"I should have... I don't know. I should have tried harder to reach out to you and stay in touch, or--"

"Craig," Kelsey cut him off. "I'm sorry too. I-- when you got to high school I was scared that you were going to stop wanting to be friends so I didn't ask you to hang out as much and--"

"No, I'm--"

"Okay, that's enough." JP cutoff Craig and put an end to the apology loop. "You two both difted apart, but neither of you are completely at fault. Yeah you two might have been able to do something differently, but what's done is done. And now we're here, eating burgers and hanging out, even after all that." JP slung his arm around Omar. "We're stuck together guys, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Besides, you promised I could officiate your wedding, Craig, and I still plan on getting that certification."

"Heh, yeah." Craig looked back around Kelsey. "I really missed you."

"I missed you too." Kelsey slipped out of her side of the booth and onto Craig's side, wrapping him into a hug. "Don't let me be dumb like that again."

"You weren't dumb, Kelsey." Craig hugged her back and rested his chin on her head. "We both messed up, I'm so sorry."

"Stop saying your sorry." Kelsey laughed into the hug before pulling back and wiping at her eyes. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too."

[ yeah thats it lmao sorry. Check out my other cotc stuff on Ao3, I’m sparklepool101, and orange poncho has consumed my mind now :) ]

[roosterbruiser]

As a liberal arts major I absolutely need some Faye and Bob hijinks. I do if I’m projecting when I say that I feel those two would make it a habit to lovingly torture their profs. Or maybe they’re the quiet kids? I just started my semester this past week and it’s already kicking my ass.

and as an English major, I would absolutely agree that we need Faye and Bob hijinks!!

and girly, I also started my semester last week and I am also getting my ass kicked!! we are all in this together and I BELIEVE IN YOU!! you can do this!!

canonically, they met their senior year and I feel like there would be a mutual sadness that they didn't have more time together! but I can see a situation happening where Bob was way, way too shy his freshman year to do a bunch of the traditions freshman were supposed to do. for example, maybe all freshman are supposed to swim in a fountain on campus after dark. it's not technically allowed, but everyone does it. and when Faye hears that Bob hasn't done this, she's like, "oh, Bobby. you're in for a treat."

and she makes Bob go to campus with her in the middle of the night--they're both still in their day clothes and he's so nervous about being caught that he is nonstop chattering about jail time for trespassing. she gets in first, dunking herself while she's fully dressed and he watches from the sideline completely overcome with anxiety. but then she promises that everything will be okay and he finally get comfortable enough to put his glasses aside and hop on in! and what do you know? they have so much fun together! and they don't get caught, much to Bob's relief!

I feel like Bob was socially awkward in college so he didn't make a whole lot of friends in all of his classes. but becoming friends with Faye really opened his world up. he's more comfortable going around campus when she's there: saving a seat for her in class, going to poetry readings in their best turtle necks, meeting at coffee shops, thrifting for books, going to bars, maybe even letting her help him get ready for some dates here and there!!

in terms of how they act in class: they're definitely their professor's favorite students. not just because they always add really insightful dialogue to whatever novel they're discussing and they've collectively never gotten anything less than an A on any assignment they've turned in, but because they're not ass-kissers. I'm projecting that their professors are kind of like my professors where they like to razz their students a little bit and are overjoyed when the students can razz them back! before he was friends with Faye, Bob was definitely the quietest kid in class who turned in great papers but never spoke. but now that he's friends with Faye, they both kick their feet up and make the professor sweat a little bit when they veer the conversation towards the homoerotic undertones of whatever classic lit book they're on.

if Bob is running late to class because Faye just reallyyyy needed that almond milk latte, Faye will stall the professor for a good ten minutes after class starts. and if Faye is ever running late because her car broke down or because she had to drop Maggie back off at the airport, Bob is more than willing to start a discussion that he knows will take the professor an eon to get the class back on track.

they are definitely the it-people of their major and are very popular within their niche little group! they're the full package for English majors: smart, nice, funny, non-pretentious.

okay I literally have to ask.........how cute would it have been if Bob and Faye were college sweethearts? ugh. be still my heart!!

[nickgerlich]

No Static At All

I bought my first car in 1979. It was a two-door Toyota Corolla, and about as basic as it could be. With a four-on-the-floor (which is now a rarity!), a heater, defogger, and AM/FM radio, it got me where I needed to be. And like a lot of people back then, I bought an add-on cassette deck, and mounted it under the dash. Two speakers on the rear deck meant that I was riding in style.

Well, in my mind. I kept telling myself that.

Skip forward to the van I bought in 2020 during high COVID. I knew the rental car companies were in a world of hurt, and needed to sell off inventory to generate cash flow, which would be used to buy newer models. This meant fire sales across the country at their regional sales lots. I shopped online, and got a killer deal on a low-mileage 2019, and am still driving it.



I had owned it for a full year before I discovered there was a CD player hiding behind the LCD panel. I haven’t listened to CDs in years. I had signed up for SXM when I got the van, and that was all I ever listened to, ignoring AM/FM as relics of the past. And when I get bored with 150+ satellite stations, I sync my phone to the system, and tune in Spotify. I suspect I am no different from millions of other motorists.

All of which causes me to ponder how much music consumption has changed through the years. We have gone digital, streaming either from satellites or cellular services, and in a fairly short amount of time. Spotify did not arrive in the US until 2011, and the original XM Radio in 2008.

The only time I have even used the old-school radio was last summer while crossing western Canada. I intentionally flipped over to FM, because I wanted to experience the Canadian Content law, which stipulates that at least 35% of the songs played must have some Canadian origins, either writer, performer, or production.

But for all the growth of digital music, companies like Spotify are still swimming in red ink. My students who were with me in MKT6356 last semester remember a huge end-of-semester assignment that involved watching a Netflix series about Spotify and the struggles it faced when it was founded. Their latest earnings report shows that, while listeners (both the free and subscriber kinds) rose significantly, things are not all that rosy. The firm slashed six-percent of its global workforce, or 600 employees.

And get this: Their shares popped yesterday. I guess that a growing listener base trumps losses and layoffs.

Spotify points to its aggressive moves into podcasting as the source of its woes. They dropped some major cash for exclusive rights, including $200 million for the Joe Rogan Experience. And some of those podcasts have not exactly performed at expected levels. Spotify relies on ears (unlike eyeballs for most other media), and if people are not listening (which they can track quite well), then advertising revenues will sag. Investors are bullish, though, and still see future profit potential.

In a related move, Ford just announced it was going to eliminate the AM radio in its new F-150 EVs. I’m not sure how or why they chose this model. While that move probably doesn’t ruffle the feathers of many EV drivers (or most people in general), it did upset one rural radio station owner who contends that farmers and other country folk need their AM radio to be able to get the latest wheat and cattle futures. That’s something you can’t do on FM, SXM, or Spotify.



I’ll let those people iron out that one, but for a guy who only used his broadcast radio for a few days in the last 2 1/2 years, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. I’ve got too many choices as it stands on my SXM and Spotify. I keep sending my money to both, and were even just one of them to go away, my drives would be a lot quieter. 



Kind of like in that ’79 Corolla whenever I drove out of signal range, and the cassette got stuck in the player. Oh, the humanity.

Dr “Turn It Up“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[187days]

Day Eighty-Nine

Today and tomorrow are the last days of first semester. Or, at least, they’re supposed to be; there’s a big snowstorm coming, so the actual last day might end up being Monday or Tuesday instead of tomorrow.

But anyways.

The last two days are half days (two ninety-minute blocks, ten minute break in between) so that teachers can give final exams if they want to and students won’t end up taking four of them in one day. After that, most students go home. But the ones who need to complete or revise their work in order to achieve a passing grade are required to stay until 2:20 to work with their teachers, and sometimes others opt to stay in order to improve- like, kids who have, say, a C+, might stay to get their grades up into the B range in order to make the honor roll- and I think that’s awesome. 

I don’t give final exams, so my students spent the block wrapping up their work. My APGOV students shared what they’d done for their political participation projects, which was really cool because of the variety: some of them interviewed elected officials, political staffers, candidates, etc...; some of them attended local board meetings; some of them wrote letters to the governor; some of them participated in protests and demonstrations. The point I wanted to emphasize was that they can and should be involved in those ways, and I’d say I was successful in getting that across. 

I had them do a course reflection- and got some very sweet notes from that- while I proofread and wrote feedback on their projects (flaunting my much-discussed grading speed right there). After that, I told them they could use the remaining time to make any necessary revisions, or they could do other things (I knew a bunch of them had a physics project to finish). But, before they left, I handed them each a letter because it’s my tradition to write them one last lesson, thank them for the semester, and wish them luck in the future. 

My Block 2 section of World came in for the second block of the day. My students had the option to take the content quiz for this unit on current events, or present one of the pieces from their multi-genre projects. About a third of them opted to present; they shared videos, slideshows, poems, and so on. It was very cool. Afterwards, I had them do a peer edit. I’d loaded the projects on Classroom without names on them, and I had students choose two to read and write about. They had to tell me at least three things they’d learned from the project, and what its author did well/what could be improved. After that, I gave them time to revise their projects or any other work they wanted to revise, turn in any missing work, retake any assessments, etc, etc... 

I took the last five minutes to show a video recap of the class (clips from different things I’d shown, some reminders of my oft-repeated lessons) ending with my last lesson: that what they do in this world matters. It was disrupted a bit by the secretary in the main office announcing sports cancelations, kind of ruined the moment, but my students still applauded and thanked me on their way out. So, ehh, it’s fine. 

I had one come back for help in the afternoon, and I was so glad he did. I was worried he wouldn’t, but I’d told him that he would be able to pass my class if he did. He finished his multi-genre project, he made up assignments he’d missed (he’s absent a lot), he revised his book paper... and he made it. I’m so proud of him for making good choices today. 

It was definitely a busy day for me, what with all the grading (and students impatiently waiting for the grading no matter how fast I am) and making sure everything was wrapped up before the bell. But it was a good day. Tomorrow- or whenever- I’ll have my Block 3 section of world, then I’ll have the rest of the day to get ready for brand new classes to begin!

[drsorrell]

For LA275 Online Students: Last Weekly Roundup Comments (5.3.24)

→ You should all have a comment under the Rough Draft assignment now to work with for next week. →You have everything you need in the Resources. The Final Proposal Assignment Description, includes the extensive video from last week, many models of individual parts of the proposal, formatting guidelines, and the list of Model Final Proposals. → As per my Schoology Update, my FP RD comment should help you strengthen the aspect of your proposal that needs it the most: the most significant thing you can tackle in the next week. → I am commenting while thinking about how the Problem, Population, Paradigm (Theory, Models), Plan, Patron, and Price play out or work together across the formal or technical elements of the Final Proposal. → The Grading Rubric succinctly summarizes everything. → Once you have added all of the information that you need, make sure you: (1) Check all of the formatting guidelines, such as each major section beginning on a new page and introductory and concluding paragraphs. (2) Leave your proposal for a day or two and reread it carefully, line-by-line, paragraph-by-paragraph, section-by-section in a very “Core Writing-y” way, asking yourself: Does all of this help support my main plan argument that ___? You want the final product to be seamless, polished, and professional—see the video for some more on why that is so important to a reader who is a patron you’re asking for money. → Finally, on a personal and professional note: (1)It has been awesome to teach a professional writing class again. I think that the pandemic messed up asynchronous education a little bit for a lot of students since so much was synchronous, so some things I assumed were understood, like just how important Resources are, I should have emphasized a lot more from the beginning so that one is on me. But, to be fair, the last asynchronous professional writing class I taught was in Spring 2020, when the pandemic hit, so…shifting “paradigms” and all that. (2) You all have done great work with your projects. These kinds of semester-long, constantly in need of being adapted projects with lots of local information and fieldwork, are really tough. You would think that finding some local information would be easier than dealing with scholarly sources, but it’s really the other way around. It’s a lot easier to use library databases or Google Scholar to find a source on college student stress than it is to figure out how to quantify it at a small, private school that isn’t required to share all of its information online. (3) Anyway, keep working until the thing is due unless you need to turn it in early for your own scheduling reasons, and keep in touch. SVC will, only offer this class once more before they change to the new program, so we’ll see what happens on the BSN Nursing level after that! But trust me when I say that students often tell me that they refer to these projects in interviews for graduate school, job interviews, etc., as they demonstrate an ability to work with both academic, professional, and practical knowledge and plans! → As always, you can always find all of these roundups at this link.

[voidaxolotl]

Daily assignments for school suck. Especially as someone who can’t form habits (which is something I learned recently is an actual thing! well- according to the internet which, take everything there with a grain of salt, but yeah)

With my last teacher in this curriculum, she and I had a whole conversation about way I wasn’t turning in the two to three daily assignments- she didn’t like that using a planner or having daily reminders never helped me, she didn’t know what the fuck to do with me-

My teacher this semester in the curriculum hasn’t found a need to talk to me about my late assignments (aside from reminding me about them and that I can still turn them in and reassuring me about them missing is okay as long as I can eventually get them done) anytime we do, it’s me bringing it up and I think she understands that daily assignments are bullshit for some students (she has complained about them many times in class as well as a student at the college as well, and has expressed that sometimes people just need a buddy to help them actually get assignments done whether they understand the assignment or not- ) anyways she’s great- an A-Star teacher

Point is, any teacher I have had the conversation of missing daily assignments with, has not been able to understand that I, for some weird mental reason, have a very hard time doing them. It’s not that I don’t understand the topics they are on (for the most part) but that I either forget they are a thing till 2-3am, or I lack the energy to do anything that day (or hell, that week) which is very detrimental to my grades. But no teacher has understood that, each one simply tells me to just do it, or reiterates that its very important that I get all the assignments done.

Like yes, thank you teacher for reminding me about all the anxiety and stress I have over these daily assignments you keep assigning- I looked at the syllabus, I’m aware they are like, 45% of my grade- thank you!

Doesn’t change that fact that I struggle with doing them! It has gotten to the point that I just tell my teacher that I’m struggling with the curriculum and then they basically leave me alone to do my own thing.

As an American student, there are many times I simply wish to say “fuck this” when going to my classes, but because its the American system we basically need a college degree, or be working on one, of some kind now-a-days to even get simple jobs. There are many things I am happy I missed out on in the early years of America, but I wish that apprenticeships were still a popular choice of learning instead of whatever the fuck this all is now

[thegiandiediaries]

On School & Homeschooling

Two posts in one day?! Wow!

Since my last post was extremely long I decided to do a separate post discussing where I'm at with schooling. If you're interested in learning about where I'm at with Ballet, I would recommend reading "Holiday Bootcamp".

Over the summer I took two classes, Physics I (Calculus based) and Calculus I. For context, I had already taken both of those classes previously at a different college through an online program. I got a D in Physics previously but was "passed" with a C by my teacher. And in calculus, I got a B but definitely with the help of Symbolab, Mathway, and the likes at times when I shouldn't have used them.

I knew that if I was as serious about studying Physics as I felt, I would need to revisit those topics because I didn't truly pass either of them. So, I decided to take them at my current college during the summer since it would go faster and I already was somewhat familiar with the topics. How did I do? I got a D in Calculus and a B in Physics. Yeah...

At first, I chalked it up to the fact that I was taking these two demanding classes while also working two part-time jobs and trying to juggle ballet and cello classes as well as a randomly (and unexpectedly) active social life.

I wrote it off and moved on. For the Fall, I registered for Physics II, College Algebra, Pre-Calculus, and Gateway to Physics (a Physics elective). I chose to take Algebra and Pre-calc because even though I mentally wrote off my grades, I still felt like something was missing in my knowledge and that if I could just figure out what it was, I could stop struggling so much.

By the midpoint of the semester, I was so far behind in the work and they assigned so much of it, I couldn't keep up! A deeper issue was exposed. I watched a youtube video by this YouTuber named Amy and she spoke about being seen as smart and good at math (took AP Calc BC in 10th grade, was Valedictorian, went to Caltech) and mentioned having had a tutor for a good part of K12. For some reason this was mind blowing and eye opening. I knew, conceptually, that tutors weren't just for little kids and those who struggled with a particular subject but this provided proof, I guess.

That same day, I went out and found some tutors to try. I ended up working with this woman named Sofia. She was a kind Brazilian who I zoomed with for 2 months and she opened my eyes to a few key things:

I'm not college ready in math

How to actually study math

She never said to me "You're at an x grade level" or anything of the sort, but she assessed my knowledge level after working with me on some of my algebra and pre-calculus assignments and based off the starting point, it was definitely pre-college level. Which is okay and made total sense when I stopped and actually thought about it. My struggles in math started long before I ever set foot on a college campus, so it makes sense that my level of understanding is back at that point.

After realizing this, I looked at the mountain of schoolwork piling up in those two classes and decided to withdraw. I asked her before hand if she thought it was a good idea and would be willing to teach me what I needed to know. She agreed and up until a few days ago we met 2-3 times a week consistently. She's on a break for the next month and while she's doing that, I am utilizing the 2nd key thing I learned from her: how to actually study math.

The secret? Do it, don't just read about it. Coming from someone who spent every spare minute as a kid nose deep in a book, I am used to reading something and gaining understanding from that. But math and science? That is not how it works and I think this core idea is something that has tripped me up for so long. That and the fact that while my mathematical skills stayed rather stagnant, the work I was receiving didn't and so anytime I tried to solve problems I was so out of my depth, I would turn to the textbook to read about how to solve them but still lack the foundational skills necessary to carry out problem solving independently. This cycle I was unknowingly in kept me busy and working hard, but I was like a hamster on a wheel. I wasn't making any real or tangible progress but I was burning a lot of energy.

"Doing it" is as simple as watching a youtube video (such as Professor Leonard's) and listening as they explain how (and why) to do something, then following along and solving the problems given. Sofia always asked me to pause the video and solve it first, then play and watch them walk through how to solve it. Another thing is to check your answers immediately after solving a problem. She would assign a worksheet on a topic she explained during our session and then I would need to solve them, check my answer, if I was right do the next problem and if I was wrong, work out why, redo the problem and then move on making sure to integrate that understanding I just gained into how I approached future problems.

It's surprisingly that simple! The important bits are being consistent with doing it, understanding what you're doing and why (textbook and youtube can help if you don't have a tutor), and starting at your current knowledge level.

Another thing Sofia helped me realize is that I was missing a math pre-requisite in Physics II and should work on getting taken out of the class. I did and it was a long and stressful process, but ultimately the Registrar's office removed me from the class!

Now, I'm just taking my Physics elective, but I looked at my graduation plan and I'm still on track to graduate in 2026, so long as I do what I need to do with my self studying and am prepared to resume major classes in the Summer (2024).

Which means that I have a lot to learn. My skill level is currently in between beginner and intermediate algebra. I was super embarrassed about it at first, but now I'm just excited. I know what the problem is! I feel like I could shout it from the rooftops! I was getting very discouraged in my math/physics study but trying my best to smile and keep pushing. But discovering this has lifted a mental load off. I'm not the problem. It's not that I'm not capable, it's that I'm not ready. And that's okay. I can get ready!

So, how am I getting ready? By homeschooling myself! At first, I was definitely like "I can't homeschool myself! I'm not 15 anymore!" but then I thought about it and decided I could lol. I make the rules. And I've ruled that I will homeschool myself for the next ~8 months. My plan is to work through Chapters 1-3 of Swokowski and Cole's Algebra and Trigonometry with Analytic Geometry as well as Professor Leonard's Intermediate Algebra course in November & December. I bought a book called Schaum's Outline of Basic Mathematics with Applications to Science and Technology which I am going to use to do additional practice problems in (outside of the textbook and videos). In Physics, I bought a high school algebra-based physics textbook called Cutnell & Johnson Physics (5 ed). My goal is to work through the first few chapters (between 3 and 7 chapters) of this text. I also plan on going through Dan Fullerton's videos in conjunction!

I was homeschooled for some of middle and high school and I definitely miss it. I have busy days ahead, but I'm super excited!

Bye for now!

Gia

[jellyfishright]

At A Distance, Spring Is Green -BL Version (Yeo Jun x Nam Soo Hyun)-Chapter 19 : I'm free

"I'm sorry ." Chun-Guk hung his head.

"You should apologize to So-Bin. Not to me." Jun replied.

"So-Bin is who I am here to apologize to. How else could I show my face at school? But then I spotted you and I owe you an apology as too, so." His head dipped lower. "I'll take some time off from school after this semester "

"You've changed." Jun observed

"A trip to the police station can knock some sense into you.I looked back on my past choices . It's scary there . I don't want to even go near one again.My life as a student here is over.I'll be a ghost and disappear once I graduate ."

"As if you're dead?" Jun asked.

Those words evoked a kind of sadness in Yeo Jun as he reflected on the life he'd lived thus far.

"You shouldn't live your life like that." he told Chun-Guk.

"What?" the boy was surprised.

"Make it right." Jun advised. "Everyone can start over you know." He paused. "Although, enough with the violence.That only leaves wounds.More deeply on one's heart than on the flesh."

A tearful Chun-Guk nodded. "Right.I'm sorry."

Seeing that Jun was gone for a bit, Soo Hyun came to find him.

"Are you alright?" he asked Yeo Jun as he stood with Chun-Guk.

Jun smiled at him "I'm okay." he confirmed. "Let's get to class."

There was a stunned silence that fell over the classroom when Chun-Guk walked in.Everyone on campus knew what he'd done to So-Bin.

Steeling himself, he walked to the front of the lecture hall.

"What's he doing?" Gung-Ho wondered aloud.

"I have something to say publicly." Chun-Guk began. "Kim So-Bin,I'm sorry." he looked at her. "I made a mistake---no. It was wrong of me. Please forgive me."

The silence morphed into awkwardness for So-Bin as all eyes turned to look at her to see how she would respond. "I get it.So please stop." she replied. "Just make sure you don't hurt anyone in the same way again."

Chun-Guk fell to his knees infront of everyone. "I won't do it ever again!" he bowed his head "Kim So-Bin. I'm sorry." He repeated this over and over. Over and over until tears flowed, cutting a most pitiful picture as everyone watched in shock.

"I get it. So please stop saying my name." So-Bin dashed to the front of the room to soothe Chun-Guk but he refused to be soothed. His tears and apologies became more fervent as his own guilt and grief consumed him.

When Yeo Jun arrived, So-Bin was still busy trying to calm Chun-Guk down. He looked at Chun-Guk knowing that people had to pay for the wrongs they did and none were exempt.

"The semester is almost over. Too bad isn't it?" Professor Park addressed the class

"No Wayyy." the students chorused

Professor Park ignored their response. "I know that you're sad it's almost over which is why I'm giving out an assignment." A collective groan spread among the students. "It can be a company, a brand, or product. Decide on one as a team and film a PR video.Content and format are all at your discretion. Doesn't it sound like fun?"

There was no enthusiasm to be found.

Soo Hyun raised his hand. "Will it be part of our grade?"

"You'll be tested on the content of the last team project.Your final grade will be a half this and a half that." Professor Park explained. "Those who tanke the team project, this is your chance to make up for it.I'll be grading you on planning, creativity and execution so play your roles within your teams."

Yeo Jun's hand shot up next "Do we choose our teams freely like the last time?"

"Your teams?" Professor Park considered. "Stick to your old ones." There was an even bigger groan from the students this time. "This is how most of you felt according to the review of the team project.I don't want the activity to be a negative experience, so I'm giving you another chance." He looked at their anxious faces. "Why? Are you dreading to work again with people that you hate?"

"Yes!" the class replied in unison

"Enduring those you hate and finding a way to overcome that hardship are part of being in society . Trust me and give it another shot. Dismissed." He began to walk away. "Oh. One more thing. During the project, why not play Secret Santa with your teammates?"

More complaints from the students.

Are you serious?

Who would do that?

What?

Secret Santa?

"Secret Santa?" Chun-Guk thought out loud. "As if it wouldn't be obvious. What if I got So-Bin?"

"She might report you for stalking." Gung-Ho replied. "It's dangerous."

Soo Hyun spun in his seat and looked at Jun and So-Bin. "Let's discuss it right away."

"Where should we go?" Jun asked. "Someplace fancy--" he began to say as he usually did before he made a realization. "I don't have my credit card."

"The school cafeteria will do."So-Bin said.

"I'd like to buy drinks for everyone, as a means to apologize." Chun-Guk said.

Yeo Jun looked at So-Bin. "You don't have to go if you don't want to."

"Well I'm going to go." Soo Hyun spoke up. "I'm not a part of this."

"I'll go." So-Bin spoke up. "If everyone else goes. We can decide on the Secret Santa when we get there"

Soo Hyun sighed as everyone walked away.

"Let's go." Yeo Jun pulled him along.

6 pieces of paper sat in the middle of the table, each with a name written on it.

Yeo Jun was the first to go. He unfolded his paper, took a look, said nothing.

"What's wrong ? is it me?" Chun-Guk asked.

"Could be." Jun looked at him."Next." he encouraged the other person to go.

Soo Hyun picked his paper next. He unfolded his paper and took a look. One second later, much to everyone's surprise, he refilled Yeo Jun's empty glass.

"What are you doing?" Jun looked at him "Did you pick me?"

Soo Hyun looked at him and took his seat "Of course not."

So-Bin laughed "You're already caught Soo Hyun."

The others picked.

There were a few  frowns  as some people seemed displeased at the end of the draw

"So what does a Secret Santa have to do?" Soo Hyun asked.

"Whatever works." Jun replied. He looked at Soo Hyun. "Why? What are you going to do for me?"

"Huh?" Soo Hyun was surprised. "What? I'm not your Secret Santa so don't get the wrong idea."

Jun smiled at him.

"You guys can order whatever you want." Chun-Guk announced. "Jun doesn't have to pay for anything."

"I'm not the ATM anymore. I don't have a gold card." Jun said

"Congratulations on becoming human." Soo Hyun teased with a smile.

"You've changed Soo Hyun." So-Bin observed with a smile.

Soo Hyun schooled his smile "Since we're done with the Secret Santa, let's talk about the group project."

So-Bin's smile faded. "You really haven't changed."

"Come on guys! Let's drink! Cheers!" Gung-Ho roused everyone.

"You have to do it too Soo Hyun." So-Bin encouraged.

Awkwardly, Soo Hyun raised his glass and clinked with his colleagues.

"Yeo Jun. Wake up. You're going to be late for class." Soo Hyun tried to rouse the sleeping person.

"Okay. Five more minutes." Jun replied. 

"I can't let this slide for your sake." Soo Hyun was determined. With one yank, he pulled the covers from Yeo Jun and began to tickle him. "Wake up!"

"Ahhhh" Yeo Jun screamed and laughed "Stop! Stop being my Secret Santa!" 

"Wake up." Soo Hyun continued his efforts. "You're going to be late for class."

"Let me sleep just a little more." Jun begged.

"You're going to be late. Just get up." Soo Hyun didn't stop touching him.

"Please...Just leave me alone!" Jun screamed, as he flailed in the bed.

"If you don't get up. I'm going to do worse things to you." Soo Hyun threatened.

Worse? What could be worse than being harassed like this when he just wanted to sleep.

"I'm going to count to three." he warned.

Yeo Jun thrashed about in his bed like a spoilt child

"One..."

Yeo Jun was still stubborn

"Two..."

Jun tried to maintain his steely determination..

"Three.."

Unwilling to risk whatever could possibly come next, Yeo Jun threw off the covers and sat up in bed.

Seeing this, Soo Hyun smiled at him and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Good boy."

Tricked! Yeo Jun frowned a little but smiled in the next instant, touching the lips Soo Hyun had kissed.

Kissed or not, Jun was still sleepy. He yawned as they walked up the steps of their school 20 minutes later.

"Thanks to me you won't be late for class." Soo Hyun said proudly.

Jun yawned again. "Thanks alot."  He pouted. "Who is my Secret Santa? He's not doing anything for me." 

Soo Hyun looked at him "Maybe your Secret Santa is just that good. You don't even know what he did for you."

Yeo Jun smiled and shook his head. Soo Hyun was really an easy person to tease.

A second later, Soo Hyun swept Jun's schoolbag from his shoulder and sped up, leaving him behind.

At this, Jun shook his head "Yes, I have no idea. He is really good."

"How's your script going?" So-Bin asked Jun as they sat in the courtyard.

"Don't get me started.I'm not getting enough sleep because of my creativity and my Secret Santa wakes me up early in the morning every day." he complained

So-Bin laughed. 

"It's not funny." Jun continued to complain

"But a part of you likes it right?"

Yeo Jun thought about it for a moment. She was right. Living with and liking Soo Hyun, he liked it very much.

"Look at your face." So-Bin teased. "No need to say anything.It's written so clearly."

Yeo Jun blushed. "Back to the project."

"I don't know who to cast." So-Bin said. "If your writing is good and I cast badly, it will be all for naught and I don't have any connections like you."

"I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Perhaps we can cast you." So-Bin suggested. "Myungil University's hottest guy Yeo Jun."

"Hmm..but can you afford my fees?" Jun teased.

"I'll ask your Secret Santa to help me." So-Bin half teased, half threatened.

"No no no no nevermind.I'll do it." he gave in "I'll even do it for free."

Kim So-Bin laughed.

Yeo Jun was the first to get home that night. As expected, Soo Hyun would be working until late. 

"There's nothing in here." he said to himself with a pout after checking the fridge. "I'll just order in."

He was about to dial when the doorbell rang.

"Doesn't he have work? And did that smartypants forget the passcode?" he smiled to himself as he walked to the door.

Yeo Jun opened the door and his smell immediately vanished when he came face to face with his father.

Disheveled and reeking of alcohol, he drunkenly pushed past Yeo Jun and stepped into his apartment.

"Hey. Where is your mom?" he asked, stumbling forward. "Come out!" he called.  He pointed an accusing finger at Yeo Jun "Bring her to me now."

"Why are you looking for mom? You have no right." Yeo Jun replied.

His father was stumbling about, checking room by room. "What? I have no right?" He looked at Jun "Do you know what I'm going through because of you?"

"Why is that my fault? It's your own fault."

"How dare you talk back to me?" his father stepped closer.

Yeo Jun stepped back. "So many people have suffered because of your abusive behaviours. Why must you be like this. Why?" he screamed.

"You arrogant brat.Hey." he poked Jun in the forehead "Who's supporting you financially? do you earn money? Whose money is this?" He kicked Jun's furniture and flipped a stool "Whose money is all this?"

"Do you earn money so you have a reason to beat us?" Yeo Jun asked

"What?" his father was taken aback

"Just get the punishment you deserve, apologize to everyone, and start over."

"You little.." his father raised his hand to hit him.

"Enough,seriously!' Yeo Jun screamed, catching that abusive hand. "That kid that used to shudder in fear after getting beaten up by you is dead now." he threw his father's hand, causing him to stumble a little. "If you lay a finger on Jun Wan or mom again, it won't end with just calling the cops." 

"Hey." his father shrugged himself out of his jacket. "Even you look down on my now?" he threw the piece of clothing to the floor.

"Dad." Yeo Jun looked at the pitiful person he used to fear. "Dad.That's all in your head. Please let it go and stop being delusional."

"Delusional?"

"No one looks down on you.You are the one who looks down on yourself.You're torturing yourself!"

His father didn't say another word.

Grabbing his jacket from the floor, he stumbled towards the door, going back the way he'd come.

After his father left, a shaking Yeo Jun sat in the sofa to calm himself, not even bothering to fix the items his father had toppled.

"Jun Wan" he called his brother. 

[Hey Jun]

"I just called to hear your voice."

[Good. I'm glad you called.] Silence hung on the line [Is everything ok?] Jun Wan asked

"Yes.Everything's good.Sweet Dreams."

[You too.]

When Soo Hyun arrived home, things were still toppled. Yeo Jun was sitting alone in the dark.

"What's wrong?" he asked swiftly lodging himself beside Yeo Jun on the sofa.

Jun looked at him and smiled. "Nothing."

"What happened?" Soo Hyun pressed.

Yeo Jun continued to smile. "I'm free." he replied, resting a head on Soo Hyun's shoulder.

Soo Hyun didn't understand but he allowed Jun to rest his head while he stroked his hair.

[genuineviolist]

finals week - 12/11/22

TW: ed (not erectile dysfunction), depression or some shit, maybe for more shit so just don’t waste your time to read this

as the title suggests, it’s finals week, or almost finals week. it’s Sunday, and my finals are on Tuesday. I’ve barely studied, and I still have to turn in a project for my computer programming class (I haven’t started it yet and it’s due tomorrow).

I have three different finals on Tuesday: algebra, chemistry, and computer programming. at least those are the only classes I have a final in; I leave school the next day for break. the break is three week. I still have to worry about my finals, so  I don’t know why I’m thinking about winter break.

for some reason I just don’t have any motivation to study or do anything. I know I have to do shit, so I’m forcing myself to, but I just don’t feel like doing it. I also don’t really care about my grades anymore. I recently got a 0/100 on this assignment for CP, and I don’t even give a shit. my grade dropped from an A to a B, but that doesn’t matter. if I do well do well on the project and final, my grade might go back up to an A. so far, I have all A’s. I really do care about my grade and GPA, but sometimes I don’t feel like trying.

I’ve felt like this multiple times this semester. in about October, maybe, I felt overwhelmed about orchestra and had a breakdown. I was burnt out. and around the time I was working on the assignment I got a 0/100 on (our teacher grades our shit late), I was burnt out again. I didn’t finish the assignment, and there was a lot of missing requirements; I gave up because I felt like I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to ask for help, because I feel like if I have to ask for help then I’m incompent.

I have a habit of biting/chewing the skin around my nails when I’m not in the best mood. I started doing that today lmao. I don’t even know why I do that.

sometimes I have these episodes? where I feel like this, or lack feeling lmao. sometimes I would have the best week and feel really happy, but when the next week shows up, it’s the worst. it actually might have something to do with my menstrual cycle. who the fuck knows.

I’ve even been listening to melohcholy music. I don’t like listening to sad music because, no shit, it makes me feel sad. but if anything, it makes me realize what I’m feeling when have a kind of depressive episode. it makes it feel more real. it also helps me dissociate lmao. but I don’t have time to dissociate (finals, yk).

I also haven’t been eating enough. I’m too anxious to go to the cafeteria for food. I know other people have to eat and go down there too, but I don’t know. I’m just anxious to for some reason. I also ran out of food in my room, so I’m pretty much forced to get cafeteria food. it seems like I only ate fries, oranges, and bananas for the past couple of days. I know I need to eat more and I’m hurting myself by not eating, but I don’t even know. you know what I mean?

it’s just been a weird last few days. maybe week, even. I love you, try to make your day better.

-AM

[brightbasilica]

It was my turn to decide

I have got to be more adamant about doing these posts weekly, because if I attempt to talk about last week and the previous week, I’ll seem like two different people but both weeks were worthy of commentary. I think one thing that stands out entirely to me is that I am living, likely, four separate lives and in four separate identities, and I’m unsure how to merge them into one self. 

I started out doing these reflections as just a time to talk about a couple updates in my life but to focus mainly on school, but being here lately and finally finding community within a church has really moved me to a place where I’m much more interested in my spiritual growth over my academic growth. The latter is important, however, so I’ll start there: maintained a 4.0 and registered for my last Summer and Spring semesters. The only class I still haven’t registered for is Thesis Writing, but I’ll taking Preparation for a Thesis in the summer. It’s so awesome to be able to finally flourish in something that I was so interested in but could never tackle in high school and undergraduate studies (because it wasn’t available to me). 

It took me about eleven hours to write a seventeen page research paper on Lapsarianism, and the only points I lost on the assignment were due to formatting. When I finished it, even though it was slightly rushed and not my best work (my thesis wasn’t very ambitious), I really looked upon it with a heart of: “This is indicative of someone who wants to pursue a Doctoral degree.” 

I think soon I’ll get some prayer about opening my eyes to my spiritual gift— of course, I’ll be a teacher, always, but I just think I’d like more direction about what God has for me and the place that he wants me to go. Afraid someone is going to tell me I’m meant to be a pastor, because that I’ve been running from for nearly a decade. 

This past weekend, I went camping with some people from church, and the weekend before I went to my coworker’s wedding. Those events really showcased the duality of man. The wedding was fun— I went home with a speeding ticket and a concussion. We did a lot of dancing and a lot of kissing and a lot of partying, and I just thought that I enjoyed myself so much, and I was so happy to have been able to really luxuriate in the company of mutual friends— people who I didn’t have to tend to and that I wouldn’t see again. That following Friday, I went to a concert, jumped some barricades, met some new friends and spent more time chatting in the crowd than I did really focusing on the concert— but that was amazing! Then the following day, a guy from church invites me camping that night— I go, a beautiful mountain man teaches me how to throw an ax, and the next day, we all go to church and show up to a restaurant with, like, twenty people, and they’re drinking beer and talking about how awesome church was— and I say all that to say this: I literally never know if, and when, I’m lying. 

On one hand— I have so much fun with my friends who I know outside of my relationship with God— I feel relatively kind, jovial, open minded. Then I go and hang out with friends from church, and I have to curb a lot of what I would normally say or do, but there’s less general conviction, because I’m doing... generally less convicting things (however, I’ll never be at the point of my faith walk where sitting around a camp fire listening to modern praise and worship music off my phone is appealing to me). Then— there’s who I am with, let’s say, people from back home— people I’ve known my entire life and who I’m comfortable with— and that version of me is so vicious and lacking reformation, but it’s probably one of the closest versions of me that really engages with what I feel and what I submit to carnally. And finally, there’s who I am in isolation— and that’s my favorite version of myself. I’ve had so much conviction about not loving God in solitude and selfishness, but each time I interact with another person, I feel like I’m being pulled in three directions and none of them are truly, really me. I’m only who I’ve been made as when I’m by myself, and I don’t know how to merge all three of those identities into one that is relatively palatable to all three groups. 

I’ll never be a cookie cutter, but I do seek to be kind— and sometimes funny, and sometimes quiet, always thoughtful and always informative. It’s not that I couldn’t be all three version of myself at one time, but I’d be denying another part of me at the same time, and I’m not sure where I stand on laying down my entire life just yet. The pastor did talk about selfishness this Sunday though— love not being self-seeking. Who knows? 

Being around other people is just so scary, because I’m just so bad at it.

This year has been a whirlwind— I’ve met so many people, and I’ll meet so many more. It’s pushing closer towards the end of November which is when the new guy I met gets back into town. I’m trying to decide what I’m going to do with that. Some things I just leave to God in their entirety. There is so much more to say, so much more that’s been on my mind. I can’t believe how much I think— but this has been in my head: what a disrespect is fear to God?

They sung this song on Sunday. It’s just nice— “You're better than I know, better than I hoped You would be. I couldn't have dreamed of a better God. I couldn't have dreamed of a better Father.”