#Tag to find stuff

[laniemae]

About the situation at hand and why I responded this way

[important please read]

Ok, so as you know I have been in a really dark mental state. A couple days ago I saw a post about a ship which really triggered me and I got extremely upset. Things escalated quickly and I ended up sending hate mail to the person who the post was dedicated to (and has been a problem in the past) and acted outwardly violent on my blog.

I’m sorry for what I did. I was in a really dark state at that moment and couldn’t think of anything else to do, and was so scared. I had felt this was the end for me on tumblr so I decided to go all out. But now I’m still here, and I have to deal with the consequences of what I did.

I really want to talk about how this all happened and why I reacted like this and thinking about it a lot I think I understand why. I have really bad reactions to the ship 0709, but really thinking about it it’s not the ship itself that much. Even though I think the ship is really creepy by shipping a young adult with someone who’s almost middle aged, I don’t care about ships much. In a normal situation I wouldn’t of responded this way. Let me explain.

The original incident started at the very start of the year in the second gartic phone game that was hosted. Someone did a prompt of the ship and I got very uncomfortable. I started getting really stressed and had to quit the game. I talked about my distaste on my blog and how I was feeling. Eventually someone replied on my post saying that the ship was totally ok in this creepy positive tone instead of acknowledging how I felt. I will not go into the specifics of the person who started this as I feel like it’s rude.

But some background, a part of me hated this shop because it reminded me exactly of some other creepy ship in a fandom I was in 3 years ago. I expressed my discomfort for it and was constantly dogpiled and harassed by so many people. Lots of the comments did not acknowledge how I was feeling or tied to reason, and instead replied on this creepy positive way of “it’s ok because…”. In a way that attitude was much worse than the actual hate I got and that experience lead me into an incredibly bad mental state, and is probably the reason I don’t trust people that much online.

Now the comment I received had exactly the same tone as everything that happened back then, and I started freaking out. This was no longer about the ship itself, it had became personal.

To say it again, in any other circumstance I wouldn’t of reacted this way. The ship itself and people’s responses to it made so that 0709 wasn’t just a ship I disliked, but the embodiment of all my fears in this fandom and that one experience online 3 years ago.

Things escalated and it kept getting worse. The idea of the ship itself had long gone and it was more so about what it symbolised.

Now please, to anyone else my attitude seems like I’m just some silly anti who sends hate mail, but this situation has become personal and detached from any sort of shipping.

That one post for Valentine’s Day a complete set me off. Things had been brewing for a long time, especially when I had to leave for a week. It felt like a personal attack, not caring about my situation at all. And I guess that’s where I snapped.

After everything I’ve become extremely paranoid of everyone. Every like on that post or support felt like a swarm of people hating me and out for my blood. I know I have acted irrationally, and because of that I believe I am irredeemable. All I want is to safely return to the fandom and have things be like they were last year. Where I can laugh and make theories and art and talk about the series I love so dearly. But I’m so scared I’m too far gone.

It feels like everywhere I go people hate me. People have been treating this situation in a way that frames me as just some anti. It’s like a game to them. Or perhaps that’s just me being paranoid, as now I can’t tell my fears from reality. So many people have blocked me and I just want to tell them how extremely sorry I am for everything. And even that actions heightens my fear of being hated by people.

I have acted awfully in this situation. I have always been a social isolate and I have never ran into a situation like this where I felt like so many people hated me and I was stuck. And to a point where I knew these people and how it got personal. I had no idea how to respond to a situation like this and I guess even though I never wanted to, ended up resorting to violence.

I just want to say how sorry I am, and hopefully you can forgive me and everything can return back to normal and be happy.

[if you see this, please reblog this. I want people to know about this situation]

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

[machinerot]

[omtai]

local blogger unable to find gifsets of movie they just watched to reblog and show all their mutuals they watched a movie hundreds dead thousands injured

[captain-flint]

i can be your angle or yuor devil

[egophiliac]

ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU

I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.

like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --

[vanwizard]

okay i will admit i enjoyed these three in the like. one scene they were actually all on screen together.

sofia voice shut up and get the fuck out goncharov, i’m gonna fuck your wife now.

[tiffanyachings]

it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)

[malpractive]

BIG RONS!!!!

IM FINALLY DONE WITH TEH BIG RONS MODEL :D

first time using the line art modifier on a model so have a lineless version:

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

Breaking News: Transgender Women on HRT Officially Banned from the Try Not To Cum Challenge

It was a hard decision, but top level tournament officials voted in favor of the ban. Critics were quick to voice their disapproval of the ban as yet another example the unfair banning of transgender women from a competition, but TNtC Organization President Roger Cummings defends the decision.

“Listen, I know it sounds bad, but I swear we’re not doing this because we’re transphobic. I mean this isn’t even a gendered competition. But since last year’s ban on SSRIs, several cis top athletes were busted for taking spiro to edge out the competition. We’re going to readdress the issue before next season with more thorough research, but this year the grand finals bracket lineup has more trans flags than a guilty gear tournament”

When pressed for comment, tournament official and transgender woman Chastity Locke replied,

“Yeah, I supported the ban. I think the rest of the head officials in charge of what decisions are voted on are going about this the wrong way, but it seemed like the most effective way to finally get these poor women to stop taking spiro. I am kind of surprised that the TNtC organization even brought up the issue though considering our viewer numbers have quadrupled in just the last few months.”

[weinzapfel]

🤫

[gabe-lovebot]

councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

[raycatzdraws]

Red Red Red!

Whatever it is about Zelda 1 and 2 that makes artists go absolutely insane with the colors- I am not exempt.

I haven't drawn Roolie with his hat before and OOHHH MY GOSH YEAAAHHHH WOOO HAT!!!!!

[linterteatime]

Some sillies to test clip studio paint, it was all going well until i had to colour the doodles and I got confused with everything, 10/10 program I cried

[notsogoodangel]

Guess who made a QSMP AU about Martyn being on the Island?!

This is just some barfing I did while dealing with Carpal Tunnel, so if you see some of them and think, "Why is the lineart so bad here?" That's why. I developed Carpal Tunnel and refused to stop and/or remove my brace.

Anyway, I still have no idea how Martyn would have gotten to the island within the logic on the island, like I'm sure Doc sent him there, but I have no idea if he would have being already there or was sent on a boat by the island or what. I do know that they will probably contact him because of his experience dealing with Watchers as someone who seemed to break out of their grasp, and the Federation thinks what they have on their hand is a Watcher since, you know, tricked a bunch of people into a secluded area and forcing to kill each other for its entrainment is all very Watcher-y behavior.

What they didn't know is that he seems close to the notorious Federation hater and anarchist Philza, like, sure, they look similar, but you can't blame them! All white men look the same!