#Tears For Fears.

[churchofsatannews]

The Metro #743

This week on The Metro, Rev. Jeff Ivins brings you the following bands for you weekly time warp back to the 1980s: Tears For Fears, Maria McKee, INXS, Fischer-Z, Til Tuesday, Wham!, Fiction Factory, Mr. Mister, Kim Carnes, Ultravox, Bronski Beat, Robert Palmer, Big Audio Dynamite, and finishing off with the Pet Shop Boys. Stream The Metro #743. Download The Metro #743.

[kaoinim]

[wacuoms]

atsushi sakurai studies i miss him a lot

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[llamahearted]

what's worse -- feeling the depths of your desire for the first time, or having all your closest friends around to witness it?

prints ♣︎ song

[skiplo-wave]

*sees what tears of kingdom players been up to*

The players:

[0bir]

Can We Start Over?

[flutterfan2007]

When pe0ple run in circles it’s a very very mad w0rld 0_0

[whumpypepsigal]

A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)

#just breathe

[cozycitrus]

Hey besties i passed out three times but heres ur angsty animatic-

Im so normal about LDR I SWEAR I SWEARRR

Ldr belongs to @spadillelicious snifff thank u for writing this is so good

[doctorbeth]

Los Angeles Times! See me, more patients and the studio!

So you may have wondered why Habersham's story followed so quickly on the heels of Lucky the Bear's, and the reason is, it was a bit of a teaser.

Over the past few months, I have been interviewed for almost 2 hours by a reporter for the LA Times. Then a photographer came out to the hospital and took photos of me and the hospital and the patients I had at the time (for another two hours!). And then a few weeks ago, another photographer came out to take portraits of the patients I had then. Including one of Habersham. Then, yesterday, September 10, this appeared as the cover of the LA Times Calendar section:

That's Habersham before his surgery. And a wonderful play on Tears for Fears for the title of the story. :-) There's a two page spread inside the paper, and you can read it, and see a lot (if not all) of the photos online here. If the link doesn't work, you can also go to the LA Times and search "toy hospital" in the search box on the site and you should find the article that way too.

Anyway, as you may imagine, I've been doing a bit of a happy dance about the story all weekend. And I really wanted to share it with all of you because a) I thought you might enjoy the article and b) the reporter found me in part because of this blog which you all have chosen to read and follow and like over the years, so you all deserve thanks for the article too!

beth

[oxfordelise]

When Franz Kafka said that he is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived, i felt that on a deep emotional level.

[omnisiash]

"Shawn Spencer is strai-" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER no one who likes tears for fears can possibly be straight that maybe a girl kisser but that's also a boy kisser too

[skumhuu]

✨👑 Throne 👑✨ pages 13 - 14

Beginning

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[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]