#Ted's trying don't judge him

[metalotaku-da]

So many cross overs so narrow of common hero choices. Let's expand a little.

"Rip what the hell is that?"

"It appears sir, to be a small human child. Around the developmental stage of 4-5"

"Even you know better than to cuss infront of kids.

"I was gone for five minutes."

"Actually I snapped you back to a minute after you left."

"Are You misser booser gol?"

"Yeah kid that's me. You a fan or something who got into something you shouldn't to find me?"

"No. Clockie said tis for you." Hands a sticky note to booster.

Note reads: this is Danny. You will care for him from now on. See this as payment for resetting your time line safely. If you even try pass him off to Bruce wayne/batman, I will ensure your entire familial line never touched time traversing. And you stayed forever trapped in the 31st century. -clockwork master ancient of all time. P.s. there is not conning your way out of this. I will hunt down every ancestor or decendant for all time.

"This looks very serious sir. Congratulations sir you are a father Now"

"Wow kid. Clockie must hate you. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not that bad of an option. Obviously I was judged better that batsy."

"Clockie ass hero I want to say wiff."

"OH kiddo and you asked for the greatest hero boostergold?"

"I wike space. He say geen lanern is space. He take care of me."

"I'm so sorry sir, you have already disappointed your new child. Should I take a commemorative photo of this milestone moment for you?"

"No" "yes skeets"

Camera flashes.

"I shall add this photo to a new album labeled baby book. It is labeled Danny's first disappointment, sir."

"Thank you skeets." X2 one sarcastic one pleased.

"I wan geen lanern."

"Think you're gonna need help anyway Micheal. Call one of them. Not guy."

"I would never co-parent with guy. What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

"Rip takes you as the utmost idiot sir. As does most of the justice league sir."

"Thanks skeets."

"You are most welcome sir."

"Can I pay wif the talking space ship?"

"Sure kid." Pushes skeets into the kids hands.

"I do not believe I am rated for physical interaction by children under 10 sir."

"To bad skeets." Picks up Danny who looks up at him instead of at skeets to smile all teeth. "Holy shit are those fangs? We are going to go see my friend Ted now. He will know what to do."

"He will atleast know not to cuss infront of kids. Don't know about the rest."

"Is ted geen lanern?"

Cue shenanigans. They were roommates, but adopted a child.

"Does Batman know you stole a child from him?" <- Jaime when he visits.

"Do not even joke like that. My existence is at stake."

"Batsy is the new beetle juice. In this house."

"Are You geen lanern?"

"Sorry kid I am blue beetle."

"Should I take a picture for Danny's third disappointment since becoming your child sir?"

"No skeets."

"3rd? How long you had him?"

"A week"

"Ouch. Hey kiddo why do you want to meet green lantern? Aren't these guys just as cool?"

"Considering the average human body temperature is 98.6 degrees I do not believe they qualify as cool sir." Jaime is picking up danny to hold on his hip.

"Clockie says geen lanern is space." Danny smiles.

"Are those fangs? Is this a meta kid? You like space? My scarab is from space. Isn't that just as... Oh My, no scarab!" Scarab starts to go into protect host mode while screaming danger desteoy threat in Jaime head just as Danny's eyes start to glow green at the statement and his mouth splits inhumanly wide with even more teeth. Ted and Michael scramble to grab Danny and move him away from Jaime till he gets control of the scarab again. But Danny has a death grip and won't let go of his new friend.

"I do believe sir that your new child qualifies as a meta. Should I take a picture to commemorate your child's first power demonstration sir?"

[archiesceiss]

I believe that one of the most irrefutable proofs of how much men hate women is in the way fans of Breaking Bad treat Skyler White, without even trying to analyze her actions and think, why did she act the way she did? The only real evil in the show is Heisenberg, a murderer, a drug lord, a pathological liar and an egomaniac at his worst, but people just don't see it. Skyler isn't perfect, but she's much more empathic towards her own children and puts their safety far above her own, especially when she finds out that her husband, who she's been married to for years, claims he's involved in the drug business. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Just eat this crap?

"But Skyler cheated on him" You fucking act like cheating is far worse than drug manufacturing. Skyler obviously knew by that point that Walt was involved in criminal activity and did so thinking he would leave the family alone and his business wouldn't endanger them. As much as I hate traitors, I have enough common sense to judge her actions. Why don't the rest of you?

"Skyler gave Ted Walt's money, she's such a bitch" She gave the money to protect the family, because if IRS had grabbed their asses, fairy tales about gambling certainly wouldn't have saved them this time.

But as far as I'm concerned, little fans of the show didn't even listen to what the woman on screen was saying, it's much easier to pass the role of protector and family savior to fucking Walter, who literally said at the very end that he manufactured because he enjoyed it, not for the sake of the family.

[softxsuki]

Hey han, i have an urgent request if you don’t mind. May I request mikey, Shinichiro, and Mitsuya with a ballerina girlfriend who is struggling with anorexia? As a dancer myself not only am I constantly comparing myself to the other girls in my class but I’ve been told by my dance teacher on a couple of occasions that I needed to lose weight, despite already being underweight. I’ve been in ballet since I was very little, but my ED only started when I hit my early teens and had just kept with me :( and sometimes it gets hard to keep dancing because I feel so dizzy and exhausted, but I still love dancing and refuse to quit

Mikey, Shinichiro, and Mitsuya (Separate) with Anorexic Ballerina Girlfriend

PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDERS WILL DO YOU MORE HARM THAN GOOD. PLEASE

Pairings: Manjiro x Fem!Reader, Shinichiro x Fem!Reader, Mitsuya x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of anorexia, starving yourself, being thin, food, people saying you need to be thinner, poor health

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: In which they find out about your eating disorder and comfort you about it

[A/N: Hello <3 I never mind an urgent request. But can I just say, I really admire your resilience to want to continue dancing despite what you're going through. That's amazing. Hopefully these headcanons are comforting for you and perhaps give you some options to use moving forward! ily, you're beautiful <3]

Mikey:

Just wanna start off by saying this man is obsessed with you; k thanks for coming for my ted talk–i needed to get that off my chest

He’s always noticed you’ve been pretty thin, but he’d brush it off as you just having a faster metabolism or just naturally being a little thin–after all it doesn’t matter to him whether you were thin or chubby, he’d love you regardless

However, little sirens do go off in his head as you continue to get thinner and thinner over time

What alarms him even more are the bruises that appear on your skin

He’s on full fight mode, thinking someone is hurting you behind his back and he’s ready to use full violence on someone

But eventually he notices how you avoid food whenever you’re with him and he offers you something, you try to naturally shrug it off, claiming you’re not hungry…but what were the chances you were never hungry when you were with him?

He just very blatantly asks you about it; Mikey has no filter, as soon as something comes to his head, he’s going to verbally express it

As a commander of Toman, he’s very good at picking up on lies as well, so please be honest, it’s not like he’d judge you for it anyway

Mikey is so supportive of you being a ballerina, he’d never be caught watching ballet recitals before meeting you, but now he’d never miss one of your shows, showing up front and center to support you (perhaps a little too loudly)

Anyway, when he finds out that you’ve been starving yourself because of comments from your dance instructor that you need to lose weight, along with knowing you’ve been comparing yourself to your fellow dance mates, he’s fuming

Dark impulses who? They’re definitely popping out here

Mikey’s hands are rated E for everyone, and that includes your dance instructor, so hold him back because he’d really be in that class making an example of her o,o

One you manage to calm him down enough, he’d bring you into his arms

“I don’t see why you’d compare yourself to those other dancers. Whenever I watch your recitals, my eyes are always glued to you and only you. You’re captivating on the stage, Y/N. Those other girls can’t even begin to compare to you, because they’re not you. And as for that instructor of yours, I don’t get this obsession they have with being thin. You’re already thin enough, and she dares to say you need to get even thinner? Is she trying to kill you? Ignore her and keep doing what you’re doing. There is no weight limit to being a ballerina. They come in all shapes and sizes and they’re all just as talented. Expect for you, you’re my favorite ballerina”

Just Mikey going on and on about how perfect you are

Knowing that you were struggling and putting your life and health at risk just to dance felt outrageous to him

He knows how much you love to dance, but if you continue to get thinner, he feels he’d have no choice but to pull you away from it until you have a healthy relationship with food again and can mentally feel confident in yourself to the point where other’s words won’t allow you to harm yourself again

He’s just worried and wants the best for you

Losing you and seeing you struggling like this destroys him, and he wants to see to the people who made you like this, suffer

Shinichiro:

You opened up to this cutie towards the beginning of your relationship about your eating disorder, so he already knew about it and was already doing his best to help you through it

Being a ballerina, Shin was your biggest fan

He’d bring the whole gang over to see your recital and the other people in the crowd are just frighteningly glancing in their direction lol, but shin made sure to tell everyone to behave as to not put you in a bad situation, potentially getting you kicked out

Though one day he came to see you practice in class and he overheard your instructor telling you, you needed to lose more weight to look the part of a ballerina, and he steps in immediately

“Exactly who needs to lose weight here? Y/N is a phenomenal ballerina just the way she is. She looks graceful and elegant on stage. Outshining any other ballerina in this room” he fumes, not meaning to throw the other girls down, they were all great as well, but his main focus was on building you up now since he knows how detrimental her words could be for you and your eating disorder

“I’d suggest you watch your words carefully. I won’t warn you again”

Let’s just say your instructor never mentioned your weight again

Of course he wouldn’t actually do anything to harm your teacher, but words were pretty powerful as well and he was glad they proved effective

“Now, I don’t want to see you looking down on yourself. I know you have a bad relationship with food. I don’t expect your habits to change overnight, but I’m not letting you leave for practice until you’ve at least had some fruit and toast or something. You won’t be able to practice properly, or go without fainting without nutrient in your body”

He doesn’t care if he sounds like a mother nagging at her daughter, he wants the best for you and he knows you won’t give up dancing, he’d never ask that of you anyway, so he’d do his best to make sure you were at least well enough to make it through practice

He brings you a light soup or salad for lunch, anything that would get any kind of food in your system

Step by step he’d help you through it, ready to defend you again if anyone has any unnecessary comments to make

Spends all his time throwing compliments at you, you’re his one and only pretty girl after all

Mitsuya:

Mitsuya was always your safe place, so you never held back when it came to opening up to him about your deepest secrets and darkest thoughts

You had just been speaking about your class, and you found yourself comparing yourself to the other girls in your class, being more negative towards yourself, while praising your fellow ballerina’s and Mitsuya has no choice but to stop you in your tracks

“Woah woah woah, darling. The other girls in your ballet class are all talented, like you say, but so are you. Why does it sound like you’re disregarding your own beautiful qualities?” He’s sad to hear you talk badly about yourself. How could you not see how wonderful you were in his eyes?

“I can see how much you love ballet by the way you perform. You put your everything into it and it shows. You’re beautiful, always the most beautiful woman in the room. I wouldn't be shocked if everyone in the room couldn’t take their eyes off of you, so why can’t you see that as well?”

He was right. Of course he was right. You were used to feeling bad about yourself, mostly from the comments others made about your body. On the scale you were already underweight, yet it still wasn’t enough for your instructor

So much pressure was always placed on you to be the perfect ballerina, even if it meant starving yourself

Mitsuya also knew about your eating disorder, it was one of the few things you never told him, but it was obvious enough for him to find out on his own eventually

He never told you he knew though, he wanted you to tell you himself, he didn't want to scare you off or make you feel like he was trying to take control of your life for you

So he’s shocked when you finally mention it to him, feeling exhausted of hearing the same words from your teacher and guilty from keeping it from him, you tell him everything

Mitsuya is adamant that you find a new ballet class; surely not all dance instructors were obsessed with the weight of their students to the point that they can’t see what a disservice they’re doing to their health

How can a woman make it through a physically draining dance practice with zero nutrients in her body to keep her energized?

That’s his solution–find a new class

Scared to start new somewhere else? You’ll always make new friends, but wouldn’t it be better to do it in a safe, comforting environment with a teacher who actually cares for the healthy and well being of her students?

He’ll even help you research other ballet classes if you decide to take his advice

As for your anorexia, he’d also help you with that

Whether you’d like to seek professional help, so you can talk it out with a counselor as well or not, is up to you

He’s not here to force you to do anything, but he does gently encourage you to eat little portions of something light everyday

Little by little until you can recover your relationship with food again without feeling like you’ll blow up

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 08/28/2023

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

Hi 👋🏻 you generously offered to give me some fic recs once you're back home if I gave you some more details as to what I'm looking for. Basically, anything tedependent that's close to, around or after canon. Open to personal favourites that deviate from this, though. Thanks in advance. Seeing the tags made me so happy! ❤️

oughh sorry this took forever, long story short getting back home ended up being a 24 hour comically terrible disaster and then i was just. tired :( but HERE I AM NOW!!!!!!!!!YAY

okay! OKAY.

tedependent

near/around canon

i'm going to assume leaning away from nsfw since it wasn't specified

no preference towards complete/incomplete, but i tended for the former

let's start with a ⚡LIGHTNING ROUND⚡!

these are fics I think at least somewhat fit your description (not sure I'm a great judge of 'close to canon') that i don't have any extra commentary to add about (that's not a bad thing!) they're all good!

A Mighty Nice Shine by turingpatterns - oneshot (complete) (trent's daughter! cute fic!!)

For As Long As We Can by ShutUpGwen - longer fic (complete) (post-canon getting together, kinda)

All Publicity, as they say by JessJessTheBest - medium sized fic(?) (complete) (very cute and funny social media centered fic)

if music be the food of love, play on by literary_lesbian - medium sized fic (complete) (great author, mae pov deserves more love)

Take My Whole Life Too by ItsClydeBitches - oneshot (complete) (adorable valentines day fic)

it's nice to have you here by foxwatson - longer fic (incomplete) (excellent 'there's only one cottage' fic, not s3 compliant as it was written before s3)

Holding Pattern by Wildgoosery - oneshot (complete) (honestly worth it for the ending alone--not that the whole thing isnt' good)

Nothing’s as Easy as Riding a Bike When You Don’t Know How by r_n_g_are_dead - long fic (complete) (trent falls in looove)

closer to your request (i think)

richmond is for lovers by confessionofaking- series (complete)

[summary for the first fic in the two-fic series] “So you do laugh!” He heard himself shout. Trent blinked, and then he was standing. “But you don’t do it until page—,” he crossed the room and peered over Ted’s shoulder “forty-three? And it wasn’t even a big laugh! That was more of a loud nose breath,” he paused, trying to recall the proper word. “An exhale.” Ted put a halt to his nervous rambling in a matter of seconds. “Hey, Trent, look. I know folks are divided on the actual police these days, but all human beings are opposed to the laugh-police.” or, the 'laugh police' scene fix-it fic, except i made it worse.

notes: an eventual post-canon fix-it, as well as a fix-it for the "laugh police" scene. excellent fic, excellent author (HI CADE!!!! HI!!!!! ILY!!!!) i would also reccomend from him... well, any of his fics, but for a quick round-up of a few more sfw tedependent fics of his:

twist of fate

red light

i’ll catch you, darling

just can’t get enough (more nsfw in themes but very cute)

The Lasso Effect by earlybloomingparentheses - oneshot (complete; part two of a series)

Dating Ted Lasso is a wonderful thing. There are, however, certain downsides. For example, Trent no longer has control over when and where he smiles. He apparently cares about Roy Kent's opinion of him now. And he's been having the most ridiculous urge to tap dance. It's the Lasso Effect.

notes: there's several bits in this for trent's characterization that live in my brain rent free.

number four was always you by thefaceofno - long fic (complete)

Ted’s phone rings. He looks away from the window, where he was watching the tree sway in the wind, to see Beard’s face splashed over his phone screen. He thinks about not answering, but if he doesn’t answer then all he’ll have done today is run to CostCo for no reason. He doesn’t need eight pounds of almonds, but he has eight pounds of almonds. a.k.a. the post s3 fix-it where Ted does some intense mental healing.

notes: THE post-canon tedependent fix-it. excellent. please read it immediately.

constant as a northern star (constantly in the dark) by laiqualaurelote - medium sized fic (complete) (technically part of a series but this is standalone)

“I just met Ted Lasso,” Sachiko Crimm says bluntly when her ex-husband picks up. Trent is silent for a while. “And?” he says finally. Sachiko gives it five seconds, and then she bursts out laughing. “Stop it,” says Trent wearily.

notes: one of my favorite incarnations of trent's ex-wife ever. also always a sucker for pov outsider. also, excellent author, and you should absolutely read their post-apocalypse theater/shakespeare au. please.

nothing worth doing comes easy by pocky_slash - medium sized fic (incomplete)

First Ted Lasso is a joke, then Ted Lasso is a story, and then, suddenly--mortifyingly--Ted Lasso is something more. (Or: Trent doesn't want to be Ted's friend.)

notes: excellent, loving it, basically, to quote the author's note, "trent's deeply awkward gay spiral in the [s2] finale". however, word of warning: it is, tragically, unfinished.

Architecture With a Human Element by ItsClydeBitches - oneshot (complete)

“There has to be something,” Trent muttered, furiously scrolling through his feed. Each suggestion he found was debunked by the next post, with many parents swearing up and down that certain techniques made the whole thing worse. Trent stopped on a video of a mother taking scissors to her daughter’s curls and bit down on an actual sob building in the back of his throat. It was right before Trent let it fly that his mobile rang. Coach Ted Lasso (from America). Trent couldn’t say what possessed him to answer with his throat thick and his eyes prickling, but his traitorous hand had already swiped while his mouth said, “I have to shave my head.” Or: 5 times Ted got to touch Trent's hair and one time he returned the favor.

notes: losing my mind at the tenderness in this one. ough (positive)

time may change me by rockinhamburger - oneshot (complete) (part of a series)

Trent’s writing a book, so he’s in the room, generally, whilst [AFC Richmond’s magical season] fucking happens. These are the kinds of days when he curses single fatherhood. Trent debates whether he can just skip work for the day, but the West Ham match is a mere week away. Nothing else for it. “Mia, how would you like to come to work with me today?”

notes: very sweet, good series. this particular work is pre-relationship, but i love crimmlet so much, and their interactions with the team.

Independent by TheBasilRathbone - medium sized fic (complete)

Trent Crimm might only recently be an independent journalist, but he's had no one to rely on but himself for far, far longer. And most days, it feels like he's barely keeping it together. So it only seems fitting that the conclusion to the worst period of his life is for the whole thing to go up in literal flames.  Luckily for Trent, help comes from a (not so) unexpected source.

notes: one of my favorite tedependent fics, not gonna lie. just. wow

some all-time favorites!

a man arrives on thursday by clementines_and_colorful_things - medium sized fic (complete)

The capture of a friend prompts notorious outlaw Ted Lasso to take on the crooked leadership of Nelson Road, Kansas, with his motley crew of castoffs, cowboys, and criminals. When English-born historian Trent Crimm finds himself unwillingly swept into the fast-paced world of Lasso and his outlaws, he gradually begins to unravel the enigmatic Ted Lasso’s complicated ties to Nelson Road’s most prominent players. Tensions run high as Ted evades arrest and plots the downfall of those who have wronged him, and Trent worries that Ted will meet the same abrupt end that most outlaws do: with a length of rope and a rather short drop. — A Ted Lasso Wild West AU

notes: a very good cowboy au from a very good author. not close to canon by any means, being a cowboy au, but very, very good nonetheless.

read our constellations by ShowMeAHero - long fic (complete) (series)

[summary of the first fic in a four fic ongoing series]

And Trent’s not a mess! He’s not. He’s got his life entirely together. He chose to reveal his source and give up his position with The Independent. He chose to start chasing book authorship as his new branch of his career tree. He chose his flat, and his car, and his life, down to the brands of tea he buys and the sorts of people he spends time with and the sheet sets he puts on his and Beatrice’s beds. He’s an adult man, for Christ’s sake. Of course, he’s got his life together. Everything is under his control, and it’s all fine. It’s entirely, completely, fully fine. Taking one last steadying breath, Trent opens his eyes and looks over the line of seven tests on the counter: the first he took a few hours ago, and the six he just took since. Each and every last one of them says he’s pregnant. Some have plus signs, some have two lines, some simply have the word pregnant. All of them may as well come together to form a little sign reading, Congratulations, Trent! You did it! You’ve finally made a goddamn bloody mess out of everything! Just wait until you have to tell Ted! Trent’s stomach turns for more reasons than one.

notes: what is there to say??? one of my favorite fics from one of my favorite authors. it does somewhat follow along canon, with a pretty obvious deviation of their relationship and trent (a trans man) getting pregnant. but i truly cannot recommend their fics enough. another lightning round of their more sfw tedependent fics:

to seek solace (exploration of trent and past abuse that makes me wanna bawl (positive))

you'll never walk alone (HEARTWRENCHING soulmate au, happy endings all around, i adore it)

you know (i love you so)

darling, i love you

come what may

birdhouse in your soul

[the-spaced-out-ace]

hi im literally insane. so insane uhhh can you tell me about the good place au. the ted as eleanor on. just when you get a chance!!

Also tagging @awigglycultist and @rbvcdeluxe since y'all expressed interest too

Right. I've played with casting a bit over the past few years but the gist is this: Ted dies, as he is so prone to do, but Tinky thinks up a fun new game he can play with this timeline's Ted (torturing him by making him think he's in Heaven even though he's in the Box/Black and White). So Ted wakes up in an office, gets told by this goat looking office guy he's in The Good Place, and he can spend the rest of eternity in total bliss because he was just that extraordinary.

At first he's thinking "man the bar is low but also i was just that fuckin' cool so I'm not gonna say anything" but the longer he hangs out with sniggles and other Teds that are pretending to be way better than they actually are, mans gonna break and tell someone he doesn't belong.

uhhh this is where the casting gets a bit muddled for me. Linda as Tahani feels like a no-brainer to me, and I always thought it would be a little funny if Paul 23 and Emdroid were Jason and Janet but that's not concrete, it's just silly. The character playing Chidi's whole "helping Ted improve" role changes sometimes. Usually I picture Bill, but lately I've been considering something that would objectively torture Ted more: Jenny.

Anyway, I don't think Tinky would fully redeem himself like Michael does, but he'd still let the humans get rebooted/fight back as part of the game, only to get frustrated when they all actually improve in the new timeline (sidenote: instead of the episode where Eleanor calls out her mom for her shitty childhood and tries to get her to be better to her new stepdaughter, I'm kinda picturing Ted going to visit a freshly graduated and recently moved to college Pete to try to repair any damage he might have caused to their relationship through his sleazeball tendencies in the first timeline).

Webby's the Judge.

I'm so sorry if this is incoherent I've never tried to put any of this into words before but fr this au comes back to me about twice a year and it's kinda exciting to have an ask about it like?? idk doing my best

[nimblermortal]

I'm beginning to doubt I will actually write this, due to an acute deficit of creative energy, so here are my notes in reaction to the July 1 SCOTUS nonsense. It plays out in my head as a comic.

The first part is a montage of Trump's campaign, his misdoings, and finally the Court's findings, with a panel of Sotomayor's dissent. In response to this newfound panel, in a way that is neatly foreshadowed, Biden orders SEAL Team Six to assasinate Trump, end chapter. Various pundits worry about what will happen to the country now, etc.

The next page, Biden is lying in bed. He gets up. He goes through his old man morning routine. (It is very important, throughout this, that Biden is always drawn/treated as a Little Old Man.) He sits down at the breakfast table. He tells his aide, "I have spent all my life defending the Constitution. I just don't know, in light of this SCOTUS decision, if I've done enough." There's a wordless panel of his face as he contemplates. Then he says, "Call a press conference."

At the press conference he announces that as an official act he will be killing one Republican per day until the decision is overturned.

A journalist raises his hand. He's from Fox News or similar. He says, "Don't you think that -"

Biden pulls out a gun (Bond Arms Bullpup) and shoots him. He flicks his aviators up on his face.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he announces, leaning into the microphone. And then he hobbles off stage.

The next several pages follow his next days: McConnell. Clarence Thomas. Ted Cruz. The sequence echoes Death Note (which I haven't read) rather strongly, with politicians trying to barricade themselves in ever tighter security, but no private force can stand against the amassed might of the entire United States marshaled behind its executive leader.

There's a vignette among the Secret Service as they question their own loyalty. Should they still be protecting this killer? This isn't what they signed on to do. But... it is what they thought they signed on to do. It's the coolest thing they've ever done, body checking private security out of the way so the president can get through with his [insert fancy gun here - @icryyoumercy I need another fancy gun please].

Note: Biden uses a silencer whenever possible to avoid making a racket. He's perfectly out in the open, he just doesn't believe in disturbing the peace with high decibel levels.

Cue to Biden at breakfast again. His aide is notably more cowed as Biden says, "I've spent my whole life defending the constitution. I just don't know if I've made a big enough impact. Henry..." The panel shifts. "Get me a machine gun."

This transitions to the chapter "President of the United Submachine Gun" which features the most epic action scenes: Biden framed in light as he crouches behind the Browning, clothes blowing back from him, shells scattering around, clearing rooms as he moves through the Houses of Congress.

January 6 featured a mob invading the Houses. Joe Biden will do it all by himself.

(Almost. The gun is too heavy for him to carry, so his aide has to keep moving it and setting up a support structure/turret for him to fire from. "Murrica," says Henry, bolting in the support structure for the executive Browning.)

After this we enter the epilogue and its voiceover narration. It's important that the action de-escalates lightning fast.

A few days later the Supreme Court retracted its decision and in a unanimous 3-0 vote (there being only 3 judges left on the court) declared the president is equal under the law to every other citizen.

Biden gave up his weapons peacefully and retired to prison without argument. He died five months later.

(This is over panels of him walking like a creaky old man into a prison facility, and a gravestone featuring his name, a carved pair of aviators, and the words NO REGRETS.)

In the resulting political vacuum, normalcy slowly asserted itself. Most politicians were either implicated in the rampage, or dead. On January 17, with emergency candidates dug out of obscurity, the president of [that one library that got famous for resisting censorship] was sworn into the highest office of the land.

(This section includes a panel of campaign paraphrenalia, including slogans such as Harris: Still an Option and Cruz: Holy Shit What the Fuck, with the latter crossed out and replaced with RIP.)

Her first act, to enshrine the limitations of the presidency into the Constitution, passed without contest.

[umgeorge]

george russell is interviewed on media day, baku - september 12, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Journalist: "Mercedes went into the summer break with such a head of steam after that series of wins. It's been harder since then, but do you think if you put it all together you can be back in that fight with McLaren and Ferrari?" George: "Absolutely." Journalist: "Yeah?" George: "I don't think there's a lot that can make you fall down the order. In previous years gone by, if you nailed a weekend and you, let's say, over-achieved by a tenth or two of your performance, it didn't change a result; whereas now if you over-achieve by a tenth or two, you win the race, and if you under-achieve by a tenth or two you finish P7 or P8. And that's how the sport is. So it's a matter of fine margins and we just gotta ensure that we're on top of our game to try and stay at the front of that field." [time jump] Journalist #2: "Looking back at Monza, the mistake at the start destroyed your race." George: "Yep." Journalist #2: "And as you seem to be a very self-critical person, if I may say that, is there a special way you work on avoiding mistakes in races?"

George: [long pause] "I think you learn from every single moment. For me, it was high-risk, high-reward and it went against me. I had a similar approach in Barcelona and I went from fourth to the lead. So you can't get it right every single time. You can't judge things perfectly, and in hindsight it's very easy to say I should have or I could have braked one meter earlier when I was traveling at 300 kilometers an hour. I didn't, it happens, and you move on." [time jump] Ted Kravitz: "In a championship where Lando is 63 points behind Max, now that he's got Oscar working to support him in that way-and while I don't think they'll take a win away from Oscar, they'll do everything more or less-but is that gonna put Lando in a winnable position for the championship, and how do you think that would shake out?" George: "Yeah, for sure. I mean, McLaren without a doubt are the fastest team on the grid at the moment, and if you look at probably the last six or seven races they could have arguably won every single one. And so yeah, Lando's driving great, and with the support of his teammate, let's see, but I think it more depends on Max's performance and if he's able to finish in the second or third places it'd be very difficult for Lando. If he's finishing in fifth, sixth, and sevenths then it'll swing pretty quick. But I'm confident Lando and McLaren are gonna be winning a lot more races from here until the end of the season." [time jump] Journalist #4: "I think you are still the President of the GPDA. Just an opinion about the penalty points to see Kevin out for one race, for a racing incident." George: "Yeah." Journalist #4: "Of course it was the consequence of other things, but do you think it's not too strong, too harsh?" George: "I think you can look at it both ways. I mean, you need to set a precedent for the younger kids watching. Was his penalty in Monza harsh? Potentially. Were some of the other incidents too weak? Potentially. And there hasn't been a driver banned in twelve years, so you can look at it both ways. But yeah, I think for a driver sometimes they go for you, sometimes they go against you. If you get the twelve points it's the same as in go-karting, same as in F3 or F2. You get the ban."

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Jamie reconnecting with his dad doesn't irk me too much because 1) his dad is actually trying to change by being in rehab and sorting himself out and 2) no one pushes Jamie to forgive him, it's all his own choice, and yeah there's no guarantee his dad won't hurt him again we can't judge people for not wanting to give up on people anymore than those who decide to cut ties, life isn't that simple. The show doesn't seem to say "EVERYONE can change and you should stick by them to help" because look at Rupert, look at...*sigh* Jack, I guess. The only real uncomfortable one is Beard and Jane because red flags are okay so long as you...find them attractive, I guess? Idk.

What makes me more angry about say Eleanor forgiving her mom in TGP is that, while Donna is trying to be better, she's not making any effort towards Eleanor, she's not apologising or being a better mom to her, just with another kid and for that Eleanor was in the right to be resentful and it was frustrating to have others (her forking best friend at that!) to tell her to just get over it. Not counting the line in the finale about Donna wiping her face, just what's in that episode. Now we don't see Jamie's dad apologise but the fondness and rather sad affection seems to imply it's there.

But by far the WORST offender of this trope is the episode The Idiot's Lantern in S2 of Doctor Who, where we see a man be an abusive a-hole to his wife and son, then when he's finally kicked out at the end, Rose tells the son to go after him simply because "he's your dad." Oh my god, I cannot watch that episode simply for that line, that is an example of this trope being borderline dangerous because its saying "Just forgive them because they're family, even if they've shown no remorse or change whatsoever." Both TGP and Ted Lasso's are wholesome compared to that!

[phoebosacerales]

hello! I'm curious about something, what houses or planets in solar return chart/transits can indicate getting in trouble with the law?? I get it may be a very ambiguos question and dificult to answer. Maybe Jupiter has something to do with it?

It probably depends on what you mean by trouble with the law. I enjoy this question, because I never thought about this, so don't take this as my definitive answer, this is just me trying to think about this by establishing principles first.

I think there is often a misunderstanding in the interpretation of Jupiter as the law. I think it's more about Jupiter's role as justice itself and as keeper of the "order of the cosmos", of morals, ethics; he makes the laws, but he's a benevolent judge, he rejoices in the 11th house, and as Vettius Valens says he signifies "relief from troubles, release from bonds, freedom"¹, so I think Jupiter will be actually of help in these circumstances.

At first I think a planet that might be worth watching for is the Sun, which according to Valens is about "the ordinance of the gods, judgement, authority"² and a bad relationship to solar themes is what I think could be the closest thing to trouble with the law. Combustion can be read as servitude or imprisonment. And the 9th house, also known as "God" and the Sun's joy, signifies the court and judiciary.

Saturn is the ultimate challenger of authority actually, he's irreverent, he signifies imprisonment as it's the opposition to the authority, the Sun. He's Nemesis. I think it's pretty safe to say that if you have anything to do with the 12th house or Saturn it's always better to try to stay out of trouble. Valens says Saturn signifies "interminable lawsuits, subversion of business, secrets, imprisonment, chains, griefs, accusations".³

The 7th is famously used in the judgement of legal disputes. It's about enemies, adversaries.

Now, I couldn't really think of charts of people who "get in trouble with law" often, so I got in a tangent and I was trying to think of the anti of this character: people who are famous for escaping punishment, or just for doing well for themselves in court or legal disputes. Funny that I ended up thinking of 4 people and coincidentally all of them are Leo risings: OJ Simpson, Donald Trump, Johnny Depp and Ted Bundy. Even if at the end they get a negative balance, these are all very authoritative and charismatic people, who always try and have something go their way. For now I think it's just coincidence, maybe it's just because the Sun is in Leo right now and that's the energy that came first, but given what we know about the Sun, this probably a situation of "who watches the watchmen", right?

Let's look at Trump, for example. He's an obvious orange Leo rising who also has Regulus on the ascendant, the alpha star of the Lion. The Sun is in the 11th house, which, as we've already estabilished, it doesn't harm him at all and gives him much much luck. The Sun also has dignity in the 9th by exaltation and sees Jupiter by trine. Jupiter is relieving him ALL the time. Recently that immunity story sounded a lot like Regulus giving a god-king status, he's the watchman and no one will watch him. The danger comes from the north node on the Sun, Mars (9th ruler) on the ascendant and the Moon (12th ruler) opposing the Sun. But Mars is disposed by the Sun in a good and superior aspect, so Mars just works for him. The Moon is disposed by Jupiter, his benefic and reliever. This year he's in a 7th house profection, activating his Saturn in the 12th, and his Solar Return doesn't look good at all, which is one of the reasons why he won't win this election and why he's been having a tougher time. But Saturn doesn't have anything to do with the Sun or the ascendant, so it's hard to say he'll ever get imprisoned.

My second example is Johnny Depp, who similarly has the Sun in the 11th. Jupiter is IN the 9th house (the court), exalting him and making good aspects: a sextile to the Sun and a trine to the ascendant, so this is insane protection. Jupiter is on Alpheratz, a star that also gives freedom and relief from troubles. The ruler of the 11th is Mercury conjunct Venus in the most powerful house, which means his fandom is really there for his public image. Both are with Algol, which sometimes can be the strongest (vengeful) protector especially with benefics. The Moon doesn't see him, Mars is already way behind in comparison to Jupiter, and Saturn is a strong enemy but not really working as well against him as Jupiter for him. I won't get into it, but during the famous trial against Heard he was in an 11th house profection, his SR was really interesting and it also had Leo rising.

In OJ Simpson's chart we see the same ascendant again, so we'll look at similar things, but this is the first chart that has a clearer indication of someone who gets deprived of freedom or excluded from society, and he did go to jail for a little bit eventually for something else, because he does have the ascendant ruler in the 12th, together with Mercury and Venus while the Moon sees them, and Saturn in the 1st, so his reputation doesn't escape as well. Mars is in the 11th house, which can signify judgement working for his benefit. His Sun is also with the star Sirius, of the nature of Jupiter and Mars, which gives honors, fame, popularity, besides being also dangerous. His "dream team" is Mercury, and they're in another star that gives much of the same significations. During his long murder trial he went through a 12th house profection and it ended in his 1st house profection. Interesting, right? The Sun in Cancer exalts Jupiter and makes a beautiful trine to it, and ultimately relieves him. Jupiter is close and right in between the stars of the Scales, which I'll come back to.

Ted Bundy was the most charismatic serial killer who gained fans during his trial, which was one of the craziest ones in this regard. He has Saturn in the 1st, same as OJ Simpson, but the Sun is in Sagittarius. And his chart doesn't look as good: the Sun was just eclipsed, it's conjunct Mars, it applies a trine to Saturn and can't see Jupiter or Mercury, so there's no saving him. His fandom (Mercury) is strong but obscure and weird in the 4th and doesn't save his reputation (Venus). This is also the first night chart that we're looking at, so the Sun isn't as strong and Saturn is the greater malefic: disputes go worse for him and he doesn't have Jupiter or Mercury in sight to relieve him. He was executed in a Saturn profection. And also like in OJ's chart, there are 2 significant stars on those planets in Scorpio: the northern and southern scales of Libra, also known as the scorpion's claws. The 10th ruler is with the northern one, of the nature of Jupiter and Mercury, and this one is famous for making lawyers and giving success in legal disputes. He was a law student and arrogantly tried to act as his own lawyer. This is a good star to have for reputation and to stay out of trouble for a little bit, but it wasn't enough, Venus is still in bad shape. He was sentenced to the death penalty: Jupiter as the ruler of the 8th house of death is with the southern and punishing scale, of the nature of Saturn and Mars. You'll find exactly how significant this star is in his chart on the Constellation of Words website, but to keep it short I'll just emphasize Robson's signification for when it's with Jupiter: "Hypocrisy, deceit, dishonesty, pretended religious zeal for business purposes, danger of imprisonment".

________________________

¹ Valens, The nature of the stars, Anthologies Book I (translation by Mark Twain).

² ibid.

³ ibid.

[ineffablecolors]

hey just wondering why you think Roy reuniting w Keeley post s3 would’ve been bad for him? I sort of agree but also don’t want to bash keeley in anyway so I haven’t talked about it

Heya! Thanks for the ask and sorry you feel like you can't discuss something though I do understand why. I'll preface this by repeating something I've said before - canon did such a horrible job of holding Keeley accountable for anything and wrote her as if she could do no wrong and fandom seems to have picked that up and totally ran with it.

I do love that when reading RoyJamie fanfic, I never see Keeley bashing, as you call it, because vilifying female chatacters is such common practice in fandoms. But Ted Lasso fandom seems to swing to the other extreme where I've never even read a fic where Keeley apologises for something? And you can't even quite blame the fans, they just picked what canon put down - Keeley can do no wrong.

So, first of all, I think simply judging Keeley's actions is not bashing at all, it's just treating her the way every character BUT her is treated in both fandom and show. I think Keeley, like almost every other character, has made plenty of bad decisions and mistakes and, personally, how I react to them is a mix of how well I can relate to her and something else. Jack, for example, was a very professionally questionable decision but I completely sympathise with Keeley for it because 1) she faced consequences for her mistake even if it's never acknowledged that she made one and 2) I can relate to it! Hiring Shandy on the other hand was such a monumentally stupid decision that I could never relate to, so it just makes me annoyed with Keeley and the fact that the show treated it as her just being too sweet and wanting to give another horribly unqualified woman a chance rather than as a point towards her lack of professional skills.

Anyway!! The something else is important for my answer. As much as I love discussing my favourite shows and try to be objective, I very rarely am. Once I pick a favourite character, my opinion of almost every other character is informed by how they treat my favouriteTM. Is that fair? No. Do I do it without fail? Yes. Do I feel bad for it? Umm, no, that's my baby, nobody is allowed to be mean to them xD

And this is how we get to the Roy Kent of it all (finally! christ, this is gonna be long, sorry but also thanks!). Roy's my favourite, my baby, my grumpy, old, emotionally constipated and physically aching romantic. Roy can and has done wrong, I'd never claim otherwise. But I'd still claim he's the best chatacter and one of the best people on the show. And he's always gonna put himself last on his list of priorities.

Which is why I fully admit that I judge Keeley extra harshly when it comes to her and Roy. For brief context - I totally shipped Roy and Keeley and think they were good for each other, for the most part, in s1, I was ecstatic they were together in s2 and still shipped them like hell on my first watch (which was binged with s1!) and less and less on every consequent rewatch, part of me still wanted them to be together and then to get back together in s3 until I actually watched it all and completely changed my mind.

Shall I finally answer your question? I don't think Roy should reunite with Keeley because he gives too much of himself and she gives too little. I don't believe they are well balanced and I dont believe he'd feel loved with her again.

That WAS brief! But if you'd like more detail...

I think as sweet and good-hearted as she's portraited, Keeley is inherently a selfish person. Now, we circle back to bashing and judging. I'm doing neither. I'm myself a selfish person in many ways, that's not the worst thing to be in some regards. But I think Keeley is especially selfish in her romantic relationships and that simply does not suit someone like Roy. When paired with a selfish partner, Roy would just give and give and blame himself for not getting as much back.

I'm not saying there haven't been some great moments between Roy and Keeley, full of affection and care from Keeley, such as the scene at the end of s1. That's probably my favourite moment of theirs. But there have been some pretty shit ones too that for me outweigh the good and, more importantly, came once they settle into the relationship.

As early as their first kiss, Keeley got so annoyed and impatient, she immediately slept with Jamie. I know the show took it as an opportunity to have a kinda feminist moment but can you picture that turned around? Roy and Keeley kiss after tons of flirting and build up, and the day after Roy sleeps with a girl Keeley has a proper (however childish) feud with just cuz she told him she was busy that night. That would've never been fine. Again, I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm saying it's the response of a person who only cares about what they want and doesn't plan for the future.

Then, we have the infamous "Roy is a fridge magnet" episode which I still can't wrap my mind around so gimme a sec here. Your boyfriend is too into you, is perfect (by Keeley's own words) but not giving you the space you haven't asked for. So, instead of talking to him - don't even get me started on people writing Keeley as a character who's good as communicating - girl, where?? - you talk about it to his boss, a bunch of his coworkers and your ex who has an antagonistic relationship with him, and eventually as you're spending time together and he's trying to share one of his interests with you, you start screaming bloody murder at him about how clingy he is. Do I have that all correct? All of this would have been forgivable ofc, miscommunication happens, people aren't perfect, etc, etc, expect... forgiveness was asked by the wrong person. What on earth did Roy have to apologise for? This is the #1 example for me of that show trying so hard to make Keeley a perfect sunshine girl boss that they made 0 narrative or even logical sense. Honestly I hate that whole episode with a fiery passion.

Then we have the funeral shenanigans, which I won't even get into because I think Roy was 100% hilarious in that and Keeley was 100% overreacting (and yes, that's a heavy term to use towards a woman but here's the thing... she was). I guess this would be a good place to talk about their ILYs as well. Roy's ILYs always come with an acknowledgement of Keeley's feelings and his own fault for hurting them in anyway. Keeley's first ILY though has absolutely nothing to do with Roy. She's happy about her own success and he's celebrating her. That's it. That's the first time we see her say I love you. Don't get me wrong, I don't think Roy's aren't better but I think that just proves why he couldn't be happy with Keeley. Every time he's said ILY, it's been tinged with sadness and guilt and self-incrimination. Why would I want him to be with someone who constantly inspires those feelings in him?

This is now definitely too long so I'll try to wrap up with s3 very quickly and mainly the fact that the episode Keeley is drinking alone in the pub is one of the only ones where Keeley faces consequence for her actions (in this case, sleeping with her boss - again, not something I blame or begrudge her for but also something she should've probably considered can get her funding pulled when it ends, see: never thinking about the future (and why I don't see Keeley being successful without people like Barbara or Rebecca but thats a different topic)). Keeley responds to being made to face the music by using Roy to make herself feel better. I'm sorry but there's no other interpretation of their hook up for me. He's just read her a very heartfelt apology, ending with another guilt ridden ILY and then he was leaving. Except she chased him down, not to say it back ofc, but to use him for sex.

Thanks, I hate it.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to the fact that I think Roy was right to break up with Keeley. Not because she's not a great catch and not because there was anything wrong with her being successful or needing time for herself but because they're not right for each other. Roy is too selfless and ready to blame himself for everything and Keeley is too focused on herself and ready to take advantage of that.

Roy is the kind of romantic that would tell his cabbie to date his wife and compose a playlist for the girlfriend who treated him horribly yesterday. He's the kind of guy that's had to bottle up all his emotions forever and never talks about himself with people and has had his fucking watch stolen by his fucking hook ups. He deserves someone *cough*Jamie*cough* who is absolutely obsessed with him! Who will appreciate the things he does for them and the time he spends with them rather than take them for granted at best and be annoyed at worst. Who will make him feel like he's been struck by lightning! He deserve someone who cares about his feeling and frankly, in season 3 at least, I don't think that's Keeley or should be again.

[itsclydebitches]

When Trent asks about writing the book and everyone is frantically getting Ted to say no literally behind Trent's back, do you think Trent knew what they were doing?

I do! On both a textual and a "realistic" level.

Meaning, if this were an irl scenario their reactions would be pretty hard to miss. Not only are Rebecca, Higgins, and Keeley saying 'No' with gestures grand enough to draw any eye, but Ted keeps shooting them very obvious "I'm uncomfortable with what they're doing over there" looks. As much as the Tedependent lizard part of my brain likes to read Trent's stare in this moment as heart eyes and heart eyes alone—why would he want to look at anything other than Ted??—I think, under the circumstances, it reads more like him deliberately staring to give Ted as much agency as he can in the moment. If Trent catches the others in their lies + insulting "Get him out of here" display, that puts him in the position of the victim, for lack of a better word. Ted then feels super guilty and he says "Yes" to Trent as a way to try and smooth things over. Trent doesn't want that. He wants to be here because Ted wants him here and though he can't control the others potentially influencing him, he can control his own reaction to the events: keep calm, open expression, non-judgmental, don't beg for it... just let Ted decide on his own.

However, to get back to the point about realistic scenarios, this is a comedy-drama where the characters often don't engage in realistic reactions. Emotions and responses are often deliberately exaggerated for the sake of comedic effect, so they definitely could have made Trent an Oblivious™ character who somehow misses the three people losing their minds right beside him and isn't that funny to watch? But I personally don't think Trent is that character. The show has never shied away from acknowledging what an ass he's been (see: his entire relationship with Roy) and Trent is more than aware of that reputation. He's cultivated it. There's really no version of these circumstances in which a very intelligent, emotionally aware Trent Crimm goes, "Hmm. I'm going to try and write a book about Richmond, the team made up of footballers who have avoided and cursed me out for years, a gaffer I threw to the proverbial wolves, and an owner who once hired me BECAUSE she knew I tear people to shreds in print. Besides, everyone loves having the press dog their steps for a season and then judge them in a permanent medium! Everyone's gonna be thrilled about this offer." Uh huh. Trent knows. He's not stupid. He's actually lucky that Rebecca went the polite route and passed the responsibility onto Ted Forgiveness Lasso. Ted's superhuman optimism was the very opening Trent needed.

Plus, I think Trent's knowledge of how he's really being received is shown throughout his first few weeks there. It's telling that Trent engages in a reversal of what's just been done to him, wherein he calls Rebecca out on why she really wants Zava: he can tell when she's lying and he knows when others in the room—this time Keeley, Higgins, and Ted—are trying to sway someone. Trent is already nervous when he walks into the changing room (you can see his fingers fluttering in his pocket) and he's a little shocked, but not surprised when Roy puts a ban on anyone speaking to him. We have that running joke of people going, "Don't put that in the book," the first instance of which is in Rebecca's office right after he's hired, yet again, there's no surprise along the lines of, "You're concerned about what I'm including? This is making you nervous, Rebecca? Why? I thought you wanted me here and the only thing keeping you from saying yes on the spot was respect for Ted and a belief that he should have the final call? 🤔" This girl was under NO delusions about how everyone was really receiving him. This is the face of a man who is very deliberately NOT looking behind him.

[mcjoebond]

The part 2 of the previous post on Bi-Han being not so bad as everyone thinks

When Bi-Han and Kuai Liang got captured, Shang Tsung said very interesting thing: 'I am sure you're asking yourself... Can I afford to trust a man I have never met? But the true question you must ask is... Can I afford not to?' THIS IS THREATENING AS FUCK. Shang Tsung may have meant, like, if Bi-Han could afford to lose the only chance to gain power he desired. But that seems more exaggerated for me than the theory with a threat. It easily can be a threat to kill Bi-Han and his brother. If they didn't want to cooperate, why would the villains let such strong enemies live? OK, just in theory, Bi-Han could sacrifice himself. But could he let his little brother die? I don't think so.

Next with Shang Tsung... When Bi-Han agreed to hear Shang Tsung's offer, he actually did a favor for the Earthrealm?? Shang Tsung told the brothers they had an access to the Dragon army, he explained how it would be controlled, where exactly it was located. And Kuai Liang could share this information with Liu Kang. Would they know that if Bi-Han didn't agree to listen? And when he asked more questions to get more information, Kuai Liang tried to stop him. Why? Maybe it was something about honor for him, like, it's better to die as an honest man than to lie for survival. Or he just didn't think of that. I can't judge their values but I don't see anything bad in adapting to the conditions. If it was something Bi-Han had to do to survive and to save his brother, I can't blame him.

Have you noticed that none of the brothers could escape (or even tried) but then Kuai Liang suddenly managed to do that? Like... why didn't you do that earlier? When Bi-Han started to listen to the sorcerer? He was so angry and frustrated at that point but didn't try to stop the deal. Well, maybe he wasn't capable of running away. So Bi-Han provoked him. What would start a fire best? Anger. Bi-Han could make Kuai Liang angry on purpose cause he knew better than anyone else that anger made Kuai Lieng stronger and more powerful. Maybe so strong that Kuai didn't want to use such power. Just remember the scene when he melt the Dragon army (I love this scene more than myself). With the help of his rage he managed to escape. Bi-Han chased his brother because he didn't want anyone from the Deadly Alliance to get him. And maybe he even lost the battle on purpose. Again, just theory.

But all of that doesn't matter cause I cannot find the explanation for the scar. Accident? :D And Bi-Han could escape with Kuai Liang and Tomas when he found them. Maybe he wasn't sure they were not watched but that's a poor explanation. Also, why would he escape from Kuai Liang and Tomas later if he didn't want to remain the course he was offered by Shang Tsung? (One more question: how the fuck did he escape from them???)

Maybe all of my theories are true... And Bi-Han started to wonder about Shang Tsung's proposition just to get more information, let Kuai Liang go but decided to stay himself as he didn't feel valued at the position he had in the Earthrealm. Or Bi-Han is Liu Kang's spy and is shown as the Outworld's enemy to deceive Shang Tsung and to find the sorcerer via Bi-Han. But that's too much even for me haha

So thank you for coming to my ted talk. Feel free to text me if you want to speculate on this topic. Or some other controversial topic

[sweetsugaryimagines]

Being married to Doomguy headcanons? 🥺

Doomguy x Reader: Marriage!!!

Honey, expect him to be part of the planning. He's not the type to check out and let you do everything.

He'll generally agree with the guest list and party size. BUT. His pet rabbits have to be going down the aisle first. It's gotta happen. Please.

He also doesn't want something too big, but no shotgun wedding either. Unless you want it. Then he'll try to meet you in the middle.

Speaking of, if y'all disagree on anything, he'll take the middle of what you both want. Vanilla cake vs chocolate? How about a marble cake? Purple vs green decor? How about blue? Stuff like that.

He'll cry during the ceremony. Yes he will. Tries SO are not to blubber but totally does near the end of his vows. Will wipe his face so you don't kiss Mr. Snot Lips over here, though.

Both reception and ceremony are PRO-TEC-TED. All out security, turrets outside the venue, THE WORKS. Yes this is inspired by Calhoun and Felix's wedding at the end of Wreck-It Ralph, don't judge me!

The honeymoon? Oh he SPOILS you. Treats you so preciously. But also... mm... I'll leave the "nightly shenanigans" to your imagination. ;]

[la-kuntessa]

Hellcheer Headcannon

NYC, 1994

(Based on a convo with @gingertumericlemon my sweet syrup pie)

Beavis and Butthead think that Corroded Coffin SUCKS.

The video for "9th Circle" was on "Beavis & Butthead" here is what they said:

BUTTHEAD: who are these LOSERS? huh huh huh

BEAVIS: what are they called? corroded cockroach? crunchy crackers? man, they SUCK heh heh heh

Cut to Eddie watching this for the first time and his brain is fully fritzing out. Like, white static. Synapses firing everywhere. His ego is truly scrambled.

(Why...why don't they LIKE HIM?? They're white trash metal nerds like him, why don't they ohhhhh.........)

He's laughing, trying to play it cool, like "hahahah!!! so funny!! no seriously turn it off no no let's tape it hahaha, i love it, nobody watches this right? hahaha!!! they got me hahahahahaaa!!

Meanwhile he's checking to see if Beavis and/or Butthead is attending the MTV Xmas party. So they can...talk.

Chrissy is like "they are animated my love, my sweet, my angel, please turn the tv off"

Worried for Eddie's psyche, she somehow gets in touch with Mike Judge and is like "can you like....send him a cel or something? Yes, he knows it's fake but, like... Ok. Yes. Thank you so much."

An animation cel gets sent to Eddie at MTV. The note inside says "Dear Ted. yr wife is hot. crusty critters sux. metallica rules. xo B&B" and Eddie is like "CHRISTINE WHAT IS THIS???"

Eddie and Mike Judge are friends now, though.

[1989stanz]

Michael X Cassie

The Naturals

Ok. Hear. Me. Out. It's been a couple months since I last posted something here (I'm writing something, but it's still not finished because procrastination and school). However, today I was looking through my drafts and I found something interesting. I wrote it when I was reading The Naturals and I was still team Micheal (crucify me if you want to, but he's hot 🤷‍♀️). I'm not even team Micheal anymore because ✨DEAN ✨, but I thought it would be funny to share what I wrote back then.

It's like a remake of the scene in the forest in book two. When I read this scene, I thought "What if Michael was the one who found her? How would that go?" And I built this remake based on these questions.

ANYWAY, LET'S QUIT ALL THIS TED TALK AND ACTUALLY SHOW YOU WHAT I WANT TO.

(have fun‼️💪)

Word count: who cares?

(English is not my first language, so I apologize if there are mistakes here and there.)

Briggs helped me to my feet. “My team’s on their way in,” he said. “We left straight from the house, so we had a head start.” We?

“Cassie.” I knew who it was before I saw him. The boy who asked me to guess how he liked his eggs cooked when I first met him. The one who read others emotions like a book, but preferred to hide his. The guy that didn't like to want things, but made it clear that he wanted me and only me.

Michael.

Sometimes it was impossible to know how he was feeling just by glancing at his face, but his voice already told me everything thing I needed to know—every single emotion he was feeling. Worry. Shock. Relief. Hope.

The fact that he didn't use my nickname didn't go unnoticed. His face was pure relief and, when he settled his eyes on me, his eyes twisted in a way that told me he didn't expect to find me in this condition.

The narrowing in his eyebrows told me something more, another feeling, hiding in the mix of emotions he was feeling. Anger. I guessed that if Webber wasn't already dead, Michael would strangle him with his bare hands in a couple of minutes.

“Holy shit. I thought he would kill you.” Michael ran towards me, squeezing my whole body in a bone crushing hug that took all the breath in my lungs away. I tapped him in the arm and his arms began to loosen up a bit, but I still couldn't breathe right.

“I thought too, but Briggs came in time.” I looked at his face, grabbing it with both of my hands. My fingers started tracing the corners of his face, my mind now hungry for something familiar. Something real. Someone to trust.

His hands were by his side, but I judged by the way his eyes were moving that he was tracing every part of my face too, trying to see how bad my injuries were. I saw the way his eyes softened when he was analyzing them, but there was a subtle change when his eyes were looking at the rest of my face.

A feeling that sometimes I caught in his face when he wasn't hiding it.

It was love, affection. And still a bit of concern.

“Where are the others?” my voice came harsh, my thumb whipped the tear that fell down his right eye. His eyes were full of tears that were begging to emerge, to be dropped.

“They are at the house. And by the way it was Sloane's idea to activate the tracker. Everyone wanted to come, even Dean tried to sneak into Briggs' car, but Judd was glued on him. I just simply followed Briggs with my car.” he swallowed dryly, “I just had to came here, to look at you. You don't understand, Cassie.”

And that look was on his face again. I never noticed before, but Dean looks at me like he's just staring at something trivial like an object—something he wanted to ignore but couldn't. Badly. But Michael was eyeing me like I had the universe in my hands. And I couldn't stop thinking that I couldn't deny anymore how I had the sensation that my heart was about to explode when he was nearby. How, when everytime I tried to deny it, it became harder and harder with time to hide it.

Not that I was really putting effort, since he would know any affection that I might have for him with one look at my face.

He said that he would give me time, that he would be patient while I was trying to figure out how I felt about him and Dean. But I was done trying. I knew the answer, and he had waited for a long time to know about it.

“What happened?” Michael asked, his arms still wrapped around me and holding my body like I was about to vanish into thin air if he let me go. I didn't protest. His eyes were still on my injuries, so that would explain how he didn't see the new rush of certainty that crossed my face.

“I hit him in the head with a rock. Then, I jumped off a tree on him.” His eyes followed mine up to the tree I climbed, and his lips twitched in a smile well known.

“I should have expected.” his face turned to mine again, this time there was a glow in his eyes. “The asshole deserved the hell you mad him go through.”

He was smiling at me, and it was just then that I noticed how my hands were shaking from what happened.

The gun to my hand. Webber's voice saying how he killed his victims. Agent Sterling's last words to me before I left the cabin. It was all in my head, screaming.

And of course, Michael noticed the look in my face. “Hey, it's ok. We're ok. He's dead right now and won't ever hurt you again.” He used one of his hands that were planted in my waist to move away one of my hands from his face, cupping my face with one hand and pulling me closer with his other.

“I'm fine,” I told him uselessly.

“You're not, but I don't expect you to be. You can be fine later.” His words made me calmer, almost silencing the noise in my head. Almost. I knew a way to keep them away.

Wasting no more time, I pulled him by the hair, the space between us closing, and he kissed me desperately. Then, I realized he wasn't joking when he thought I was about to die, because he was kissing me like I came back from the death.

The hand on my waist was drawing small circles and the one on my face was holding my chin. Holding me gently and kissing me like it was my last kiss. My hands were initially on his neck, and when they moved to his hair I pictured him in every single situation with me.

At the restaurant. Picking me up in my house with his Porch. Him pissing Dean off. The look on his face when he asked me if I'd kiss him if Lia dared me to do it. Him actually kissing me after that. How he followed me without hesitation, knowing that a killer was after me. Saying that he would be patient and wait for me, but once his lips were on mine, my hands buried in his hair—all I would think about would be him.

And oh God, he was right. So fucking right.

My knees were almost giving up, his hands the only thing keeping me in place. He only stopped when my lips were sore, my tongue numb, and glanced at me, taking deep breaths. Analyzing my face, his hair a mess. Whatever he found, he just smilled at me. My lips tried to mimic his gesture, but it was still weird to smile. And I wondered for how long it would stay this way, for how long Webber's actions would haunt me. How many night of sleep I would waste pacing, thinking and wondering. How it would feel strange having to act normal after what just happened. Would I ever be able to forget him?

No. I'd have to forget Locke first, what's impossible. They'd always be in my mind, some days taking control of it, some days just in the corner of my brain waiting to haunt me again.

“I think we should come back to the cabin.” I said, and Michael followed me without any questions, holding my hand. He must have read the expression in my face and knew that now I needed answers to keep me distracted from what happened in the trees. I couldn't allow myself to feel scared right now, but I knew who I could go to if I needed support.

I could go to the boy that learned how to read emotions to save himself. To the one that wasn't open with others, but it was different with me. The one that casually said he likes Jane Austen.

Michael.

[vole-mon-amour]

3x11, part 3. RJK edition.

Listen. LISTEN. The boy feels so lost & his home is PEOPLE. Roy & Jamie are RIGHT. THERE. I NEED it. I need not only Jamie having vulnerable moments with Roy, I need Roy to be able to talk about it and/or at least hold Jamie and mean it. I need to see Jamie hugging both of them and feeling safe, and loved, and HOME. I need Jamie to know that he belongs, and he's good, and he deserves all the good things only.

This is honestly such a huge topic & I've been thinking about it from time to time. Jamie/happiness please and thank you. And somebody quietly take out his dad so Jamie can process it and let out a sigh of relief. I know it's not that easy, I've been there, still going through it tbh, a lot of trauma and feelings, but still.

Babe, your hair is beautiful & I love it, don't listen to that.

Keeley: puts even more pressure on Jamie to the point where Jamie is even more overwhelmed.

She's no better at it than Roy lol. Made it worse somehow.

"If only I could have a friend who'd stick with me until the end. And walk along beside the sea, share a bit of moon with me."

Those friends:

I can't get over the fact that Roy acts like a human towards Jamie? Like, it's the most "I care about him A LOT" & humane thing we've ever seen at this point, I think? Especially after that weird string episode that I often just want to ignore?

"I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."

I find their reactions so interesting? Keeley is straight up bored and tired. Roy is crying which is even in character, after he watched Love Island with Jamie in it & all those yoga sessions and drinking wine after. Jamie is... one eye red. Jfc, someone hug Jamie and be there for him. Just unite all three already. While Keeley can have her beauty sleep, Roy and Jamie can have spend their time together.

Not sure if I should watch You've got mail, but yeah.

Are we gonna ignore this? The way Roy looks at Jamie. The theme of Roy being so worried about Jamie that he brings Keeley in and he tries his absolute best to help Jamie and make him feel better. Like, I always shipped them, but right now it feels more than ever justifiable? Not like I imagine it but the way it's RIGHT. THERE. It's not one sided. It's "I care about you, too, and I'm trying to make ti right." Maybe a kiss or two would set it into the right direction, but still. Baby steps (at the end of s3).

???? Ot3???? Poly canon when???

"...share a bit of moon with me."

is this the new "Let's get lost"? For ot3 this time? C'mon. How am I supposed to ignore this? It's so romantically coded.

Roy, you very much can if you don't kiss him and if you keep pretending you and Keeley are not dating again. Like, talk to him. Invite him in. You two are fools. Keeley sees it though.

There goes "I care about you" again.

Jamie is such a sweet and gentle boy. Making sure he didn't push either of them.

Seriously though. He. Him. And his hair (unironically). And his rings.

Jamie's smile getting wider, heh. The neighborhood he grew up in? Or the neighborhood his mom ran away to from James?

Jamie is the best sunshine of all the sunshines. Both Jamie and Roy being dressed in black :)) They really are so alike.

I feel honored to finally meet Jamie's mom. Wow, she and her husband seem so different from James, and you can see why Jamie is the way that he is. I still have questions on why Jamie was abused so much by his dad while his mom is right there & judging by Jamie's words she only wants Jamie to be happy. But then again, maybe he really is like that, "I wanted to tell her, but I knew it would hurt her. So I let it hurt me." Which is heartbreaking, but it is what it is, I guess.

This episode Trent met Ted's mom, and Roy and Keeley met Jamie's, and "it's lovely to FINALLY meet you BOTH." I am NOT letting this go. Like, Jamie just decided to take his best friends for a ride and introduce them to his mom. Ahhh.