#theory and chalk

[nimblermortal]

@icryyoumercy @hello-delicious-tea

This is a first draft, jetlagged thing and needs. Rework to give the forceful personalities more input. But I think you will enjoy anyway.

Lays of the Hearth Fire, modern AU: Buru Tovo gets a phone and is using it to ruin his younger cousins' lives.

It was well known in Solaara that Secretary of State Mdang would not tolerate emoluments of any kind, so when he took his Buru Tovo to his favorite hot pot restaurant, the waiters made them wait ten minutes for a table and promptly abandoned them there. Buru Tovo watched as Cliopher, without breaking his explanation, pulled up the menu from the QR code and passed it over to him. It occurred to Cliopher belatedly that Buru Tovo might not know how to use a touch screen – he had certainly never seen him operate a phone – but by the time he finished his sentence Buru Tovo seemed to have figured out how to scroll.

He pointed at what he wanted and told Cliopher, and Cliopher sighed a little at the technical ineptitude of the older generation, took his phone back, entered the order, and paid. He thought little of it at the time; he was far more concerned with ensuring Buru Tovo was comfortable, and as little disappointed by Cliopher’s life in Solaara as he could be.

He’d really just been hoping Buru Tovo would enjoy the whole prawns.

---

Some months and far too many sudden jet trips later, Cliopher found himself sitting in Gorjo City with Fitzroy, across the table from Buru Tovo at a restaurant that wasn’t Esha’s. It wasn’t that Esha would disapprove, she happily acknowledged the joy of good junk food, but he suspected she would have some feelings about his taking the Last Emperor of Astandalas to a fry shop. Even a good fry shop. Even the one Buru Tovo sat at to play dominoes when he was in Gorjo City.

He was watching Buru Tovo quietly and politely grill Fitzroy on his aptitude and Islander when he heard what was unmistakably the sound of a Grindr notification. He glanced at Fitzroy, whose hand reached toward his pocket and stilled again; not his. Well and good, except that in the next lull of conversation Buru Tovo pulled a phone out of his grass skirt and, with the air of the very old, swirled his finger several inches from the screen before distinctly swiping right and putting the phone away again as if nothing had happened.

Cliopher wondered briefly if his Buru Tovo’s husband – Vou’a – knew that Buru Tovo was swiping right on hookup apps, and decided this was none of his business. It was, after all, far more surprising that Buru Tovo knew how to use a phone. He had not, to Cliopher’s knowledge, handled money until he had come to visit Cliopher in Solaara. Cliopher was fairly certain that if Buru Tovo had suddenly gotten money somewhere, purchased a phone, and obtained a phone plan, someone in the family would have mentioned it.

He wouldn’t have mentioned it to Buru Tovo, except that there was a TV playing the news in the corner of the restaurant. Buru Tovo sat facing it, and when they heard Prince Rufus’s voice describing the latest legislation he was taking a stand against, Cliopher sighed involuntarily.

Buru Tovo shook his head disapprovingly. “That man,” he said, in tones of agreement, “does not understand the give and the take.”

Fitzroy coughed around his sandwich. Cliopher reached over and gave him a few hearty pats on the back, which seemed to help.

And he wouldn’t have commented on that except his cousin Faila was at the next table, and she caught the motion of Cliopher whacking Fitzroy’s back and said, “Why, it’s Cousin Kip! You look fine in those fancy clothes. Is Tovo making inappropriate comments about politicians again?”

“Again?” Cliopher echoed. He looked at Buru Tovo, tongue caught. Look. Listen. Questions later.

But Buru Tovo was in a forthcoming mood. He shook his head sadly. “Spent some extra time in Solaara after you left,” he said. “Those politicians, eh, very handsome young men, but disappointing.”

Cliopher was not sure he was prepared to grant Buru Tovo either the handsome or the young part of that description, though he had certainly had his share of disappointments.

Faila rolled her eyes, a gesture so redolent of their shared youth when she was starting at the puppet theater that Cliopher was struck with a sudden bout of déjà vu.

“Ever since he got back from Solaara he’s inseparable from that thing,” she complained. “We told him it’s not healthy, but he’s completely addicted to it. As bad as my granddaughter.”

Some people, Kip was reminded, had grandchildren. He restrained his sigh. The Grindr notification chimed again.

“It’s a good way to meet people,” Buru Tovo said blandly. “I am making friends with princes all over the world.”

“Friends,” Faila repeated sarcastically. “Princes. Half of them are real politicians, and the other half claim that if he just wires them money they’ll send him twice as much in return.”

“He doesn’t send them -” Cliopher began. Pig butchering scams were one of the problems he’d been glad to leave in Aioru’s hands.

“Of course not,” Buru Tovo said. “Couldn’t figure out the wiring nonsense. I just give them the bank information.”

Fitzroy, who had read Cliopher’s report on the pig butchering at least, looked appalled. He had agreed on the priority Cliopher had assigned the problem, and so on their not having gotten round to it before handing the government over to Aioru. Cliopher had been glad, when Fitzroy – his Radiance that was – left to find his heir, that at least he knew not to answer the pig butchering ledes. It was one less thing to worry about. Had been one less thing to worry about.

“You just give them the -” Cliopher began, a second time.

“Bah. I’m not using it,” said Buru Tovo, inarguably. He didn’t use money, after all. Cliopher could see the logic. If there was anything in the account – if the account existed in the first place – someone ought to get use out of it. And the stipend had, after all, in part, been Cliopher’s attempt at an answer to the problem of scams. No one could be entirely taken in if they could always count on having something to live on. “They all seem worried when they look at it anyway. Keep telling me to take the stipend again.”

“All?” Fitzroy inquired mildly, his eyes dancing. Fitzroy could not be trusted with family matters.

“Maybe you can talk him out of it,” Faila said, gathering her things. “I’m done trying.”

“Young people don’t know how to live without all these modern gadgets,” Buru Tovo said, waving his phone. “I tell them how to start fires, find food on the islands, get their passports back from their supervisors…”

Cliopher blinked. “You’re being tanà. To scammers.”

Buru Tovo was abruptly more serious. “If someone comes to the tanà for answers, he does not get turned away.”

“So they’re. Wontok?” Cliopher asked, several things clicking together in his head.

Buru Tovo huffed. “Don’t have to be Islander to come to the tanà for help,” he said. “You taught me that.”

His phone dinged again. He picked it up, scowled, swiped left; then made an impressed face, nodding, and swiped authoritatively – if still in the most geriatric fashion Cliopher could imagine.

“Palace guard training them up well these days,” Buru Tovo commented, and spun his phone round for Fitzroy to take a look.

[gamebunny-advance]

Oh.

Nintendo out there just casually (kinda) confirming the "descended from humans" and "the wraiths are involved in all of the spaceship crashes" theories.

(source)

Okay, they're not really "confirmations" but more like they're officially addressing the different theories that people have about the true nature of PNF-404 and are telling you to keep on speculating on your own time.

Take these translations with a grain of salt since they're machine translations.

[aethersea]

I saw a post proposing that the reason the Doctor always ends up on Gallifrey at a time after he last left it but before the next time he'll visit, and other Time Lords similarly are all showing up on Gallifrey in a chronological manner, is that the TARDIS just handles it. and that is great! but I would like to propose that, as well as and alongside this, Time Lords have a biological like-calls-to-like thing going on that means they're extremely unlikely to encounter each other out of order. it's like how birds can sense north. Time Lords can sense each other, and are repelled (like magnets) by other Time Lords who are at a mismatched point in their chronology.

the TARDIS is handling it, but she's doing that partly by avoiding any time & place where the Doctor's spidey sense starts tingling. (the Doctor is not aware of this.) that's why the Doctor and the Master don't run into past/future incarnations of each other: any time one of them aims for a planet the other is already on, if they'd be running into each other out of order, they get the heebie jeebies and turn around.

[oifaaa]

I get asked alot where I'm from bc I don't actually have an Irish accent and it always leads to the awkward moment after bc people just dont believe me when i say "im from Ireland i grew up in county [redated]" so I've started turning the question around on people asking them where they think I'm from and it's been pretty fun in particular today when I had two workmen around at the same time one saying I sounded "vaguely American" while the other said I sounded "nuteral polite english"

[harbingersecho]

in-story drawings i love youuuuu anyway shea now why would you draw a lovingly rendered portrait of the helvling and also a sketch of their monster form? 🤨 gay ass.

[accirax]

last night i had a dream that it was Friday, and i was watching Chapter 2 Episode 15. it was nearing the end of the episode, and Teruko had accused Ace in the Closing Argument. however, Ace was nonstop arguing with MonoTV that he didn't do it and that everyone had it all wrong. MonoTV laughed cryptically, and the episode ended on the cliffhanger...

...that MonoTV was about to introduce Ada Tobisa, Eden's secret twin sister, as the seventeenth student in the killing game.

no, i don't know what role Ada would have had in the murder.

earlier in the dream episode, we had seen the left photo as its own CG, and were led to believe that it was a photo of Eden as a baby (i have no idea how this came up in the Trial). however, the end stinger was showing the CG with the two of them, and that the left picture was actually Ada all along.

anyways, call me the Ultimate Fortune Teller, because i'm pretty sure i've foreseen exactly what's going to happen in Friday's episode drop 😎

[chronicallycouchbound]

I always joked for YEARS that Tums is “nausea chalk” as a silly little joke.

I knew that Tums are made up of calcium carbonate, plus some sweeteners and flavorings and color.

Regular chalk is just straight up calcium carbonate. So…

Tums ARE nausea chalk!!!!

[mollysunder]

After reading Ambessa: Chosen of the Wolf, I have to wonder if LeBlanc had any designs for shimmer.

Spoilers for the Ambessa book below the cut:

In the book, LeBlanc had to have her two strongest mages Inyene and Rudo (Mel's bio dad) invent a technique to apply sigils onto non-mages to give them superhuman abilities in strength, speed, and durability. The procedure turned Ta'fik' soldiers that could singlehandedly take on six of Ambessa's guard at once, the tradeoff being enhanced soldiers suffer and eventually deteriorate from painful convulsions.

Shimmer does the exact same thing as the runes the Black Rose agents made, except shimmer not only has a healing factor, it doesn't require elite mages to create it, in fact shimmer can be mass produced on an industrial scale. Shimmer doesn't even have the same side effects the runes had on its users, yes shimmer can be addictive, but no one died seizing up like with the runes.

If you compare Jinx's new strength and speed to the rune soldiers in the book, you'll notice she has the exact same abilities as them, except her condition showed no sign deterioration. Wouldn't this be something LeBlanc would be interested in?

Leblanc should be interested shimmer because it doesn't pose the same threat to the Black Rose's monopoly on magic as hextech did. With shimmer it not only cuts down on her organizations work, but anyone can use it including other mages. I know in s1 there was a scene shimmer was being exported somewhere in Runeterra (we're not sure) and someone was interested in taking over Silco's shimmer industry, but that felt somewhat dropped by s2. Shimmer became more of an afterthought as the show channeled it's focus on hextech and Viktor's Glorious Evolution.

[arthursfuckinghat]

How do you feel about the RDR2 fandom when it comes to theories?

I love theories!! Some of them I really like, others maybe not, but that's all part of the fun with being in a fandom!

[eldritchtouched]

Weird Guard Behavior with Elphael/Haligtree/Malenia

So, in mysteries, there is a cliche about when "the dog doesn't bark."

The scenario in those stories is generally that something looks like a crime done by a stranger, but the guard dog didn't react to the presence of an unknown person. This is evidence in the story that the person was known to the dog and, thus, not a stranger.

Elden Ring has a similar thing going on with Malenia and the Haligtree, though a bit more complicated because the guard dog is a very simple thing. In cases where it's people instead of guard dogs, it's more a matter of, given what is established about the characters and/or factions, what would we expect given various details.

We have a general idea of their characterizations, and what the likely scenario is. So there's a few questions that are important to answer, to understand their behavior and work from that. First- do they know Miquella is gone? Second- what are they doing after they know that?

We have an answer to both.

Malenia knows Miquella is gone, as do the Haligtree soldiers. Malenia outright tells the player this information ("as I awaited his return") and her armor specifies that she was waiting for Miquella at the foot of the Haligtree. The quoted dialogue on her armor is specifically her consoling someone else and that Miquella "will keep his promise." The Haligtree soldier ashes, too, note that Miquella isn't there- that's why they're despairing.

A common idea in the fandom is that Malenia doesn't know Miquella is gone at all. Likewise, I've seen routine complains that the player cannot encounter Mohg before Malenia, then go to Malenia to tell her about Mohg and Miquella and getting her help to return Miquella to the Haligtree. This actively ignores that Malenia and the other people in the Haligtree all know Miquella is gone. (This taking off confuses me because Malenia outright tells the player that she's waiting for Miquella.)

We also know the other answer- what are they doing? They are waiting for him to get back. They are not searching for him, not even a little.

Haligtree soldiers are the only faction soldiers who are explicitly only found in the core of their structure- in Elphael. Godrick soldiers are found throughout Limgrave, Redmane soldiers are found throughout Caelid, Leyndell soldiers and knights are found in multiple places, etc. And Malenia remains at the foot of the tree, awaiting Miquella's return.

Likewise, they are guarding Elphael in such a strange way if they aren't guarding Miquella (and, again, they know he's gone). It's got some of the tightest security in the game in terms of how every possible path is a death trap that's absolute ass (that one stretch of Revenants at the bottom layer comes to mind) and/or a bunch of soldiers, along with them having multiple ballistae set up pointing at the paths someone would have to go down to get deeper into the Haligtree.

It seems that the Haligtree's guarding was intentional. For example, it's only after you defeat Malenia and the player tells Gideon that Miquella wasn't there that Gideon reveals that he heard the story that Miquella was cut out of the Haligtree. Gideon initially dismissed it and this is possibly why it's guarded like that- to hide that Miquella wasn't there.

My point is that the dog didn't bark. The Haligtree and Malenia did not react to Miquella being supposedly abducted, despite knowing he's gone, despite their continued loyalty to him. They instead expect him to return on his own.

[darkcomedies]

i love epic theatre and sarah kane and would listen to your thoughts on it forever. please explain if you wanna

this is so sweet!! in an ideal world, i’d explain my thoughts specifically related to Mouthwashing in the essay i’m writing— if the content doesn’t change drastically… and if I actually finish it, lol. i’m still forming thoughts on epic theatre/brecht… didn’t get a lot of opportunities to explore him in undergrad so i’m kind of doing my own personal brecht journey atm…

sarah kane on the other hand…

one of my favorite playwrights of all time. i’ve read Blasted more times than i’ve read any other play. this always surprises people i know, because i almost solely write, act, and direct situational dark comedy. but i’ve obsessed with her work since 2018. she doesn’t use language and graphic imagery, she wields it like a knife and isn’t afraid to cut you. she writes with this sense of great pain and anger and resentment, but at the core of it is this tender wound of longing and sadness— especially in crave and 4.48 psychosis.

there’s a lot more to her work and criticisms i have of it, of course. (especially criticism of how others engage with her work, mental health issues, and final play.) i could probably write an essay about her life and work alone.

[nimblermortal]

I'm beginning to doubt I will actually write this, due to an acute deficit of creative energy, so here are my notes in reaction to the July 1 SCOTUS nonsense. It plays out in my head as a comic.

The first part is a montage of Trump's campaign, his misdoings, and finally the Court's findings, with a panel of Sotomayor's dissent. In response to this newfound panel, in a way that is neatly foreshadowed, Biden orders SEAL Team Six to assasinate Trump, end chapter. Various pundits worry about what will happen to the country now, etc.

The next page, Biden is lying in bed. He gets up. He goes through his old man morning routine. (It is very important, throughout this, that Biden is always drawn/treated as a Little Old Man.) He sits down at the breakfast table. He tells his aide, "I have spent all my life defending the Constitution. I just don't know, in light of this SCOTUS decision, if I've done enough." There's a wordless panel of his face as he contemplates. Then he says, "Call a press conference."

At the press conference he announces that as an official act he will be killing one Republican per day until the decision is overturned.

A journalist raises his hand. He's from Fox News or similar. He says, "Don't you think that -"

Biden pulls out a gun (Bond Arms Bullpup) and shoots him. He flicks his aviators up on his face.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he announces, leaning into the microphone. And then he hobbles off stage.

The next several pages follow his next days: McConnell. Clarence Thomas. Ted Cruz. The sequence echoes Death Note (which I haven't read) rather strongly, with politicians trying to barricade themselves in ever tighter security, but no private force can stand against the amassed might of the entire United States marshaled behind its executive leader.

There's a vignette among the Secret Service as they question their own loyalty. Should they still be protecting this killer? This isn't what they signed on to do. But... it is what they thought they signed on to do. It's the coolest thing they've ever done, body checking private security out of the way so the president can get through with his [insert fancy gun here - @icryyoumercy I need another fancy gun please].

Note: Biden uses a silencer whenever possible to avoid making a racket. He's perfectly out in the open, he just doesn't believe in disturbing the peace with high decibel levels.

Cue to Biden at breakfast again. His aide is notably more cowed as Biden says, "I've spent my whole life defending the constitution. I just don't know if I've made a big enough impact. Henry..." The panel shifts. "Get me a machine gun."

This transitions to the chapter "President of the United Submachine Gun" which features the most epic action scenes: Biden framed in light as he crouches behind the Browning, clothes blowing back from him, shells scattering around, clearing rooms as he moves through the Houses of Congress.

January 6 featured a mob invading the Houses. Joe Biden will do it all by himself.

(Almost. The gun is too heavy for him to carry, so his aide has to keep moving it and setting up a support structure/turret for him to fire from. "Murrica," says Henry, bolting in the support structure for the executive Browning.)

After this we enter the epilogue and its voiceover narration. It's important that the action de-escalates lightning fast.

A few days later the Supreme Court retracted its decision and in a unanimous 3-0 vote (there being only 3 judges left on the court) declared the president is equal under the law to every other citizen.

Biden gave up his weapons peacefully and retired to prison without argument. He died five months later.

(This is over panels of him walking like a creaky old man into a prison facility, and a gravestone featuring his name, a carved pair of aviators, and the words NO REGRETS.)

In the resulting political vacuum, normalcy slowly asserted itself. Most politicians were either implicated in the rampage, or dead. On January 17, with emergency candidates dug out of obscurity, the president of [that one library that got famous for resisting censorship] was sworn into the highest office of the land.

(This section includes a panel of campaign paraphrenalia, including slogans such as Harris: Still an Option and Cruz: Holy Shit What the Fuck, with the latter crossed out and replaced with RIP.)

Her first act, to enshrine the limitations of the presidency into the Constitution, passed without contest.

[idkaguyorsomething]

wait a second... rose... ruby... shades of red... rose is a blonde lady in love with an alien... space-time fuckery...

RTD DID YOU-

[thepandalion]

once more enjoying a fic so much I look at other things by the author and oh look I read other fics of theirs enough times to recognize them by name

[pumpkinspicenietzsche]

how do you fund an organization you have heard nothing about?

Okay, so after the Wilbur stream, I have been THINKING, and I've been THINKING SO GODDAMN HARD and something is just NOT adding up to me.

So q!Wilbur knows jack shit about the federation, despite... apparently, Lovejoy being a key funding source? Which has been killing my brain for a while because you know... it makes no goddamn sense. I don't need to explain to you why this makes no sense. You read the title, you get the point. You get why I'm confused.

If this isn't a blatant plothole, q!Wilbur knows much more than he's letting on. Or, some secret other option where the feds are just... iunno, spouting shit? That's all I can think of.

But I really like that secret option I know nothing about because it means q!Wilbur is way more likely to begin experiencing THE HORRORS, which he hasn't really experienced yet (sure, his daughter's missing, but I bet you could inflict a LOT more trauma on this poor sickly musician boy come on, step up your game qsmp admins)

As much as I LOVED thinking of Wilbur being more aligned with the federation before he came back, this man needs some CHARACTER MOTIVATION, which means he needs to not be evil, at least for a bit. Just a SECOND.

No matter how it turns out (except for the plothole outcome because that would be upsetting), I'm extremely excited to see where Wilbur's arc goes from here!

[bumblingbriars]

Y’know because hobbits have smiths and often name their noble women after gems I’ve been wondering where they get these jewels. Trading? Do they have their own mines? Does anyone have answers lol