Jade can I please get a chatty af yapper sunshine girlfriend with Sirius?? Like May be someone tells her she talks a lot so she's super quiet around him cuz she's worried he'll get annoyed and break up with her but poor Sirius he misses his chatty girl and just angst with fluff
thank you for requesting! fem, 1.4k
James Potter means well. Honestly, you donât think he has a mean bone in his body, so you try not to take it to heart.Â
Unfortunately, your attempts to do so donât work. They really, unquestionably donât. By the time youâre outside of Siriusâ flat that afternoon, Jamesâ small comment is all you can think of.Â
âYouâre so chatty Iâm surprised you donât run out of breath,â heâd said. Not without love. Youâd bumped into him in Sainsburyâs and ended up talking for ages about one thing or another, you know him well, youâd even say you were friends, though heâs of course Siriusâ friend rather than your own. âBut Iâm the same. God, Sirius used to hate how much I talked, heâd be sick of me. I think I numbed him to it over the years.âÂ
You canât imagine it. Sirius and James are best friends. With Remus, theyâre the most in love threesome of friends youâve ever met, and itâs nice; it makes you very proud to have a boyfriend who cares for others as deeply as Sirius cares for them. Itâs like a constant demonstration of how heâs a good man.Â
But youâd never stopped to consider that they werenât always so seamless, and youâve regrettably never considered that your constant talking is something that could put him off.Â
You talk to Sirius about everything. There isnât a word to describe the excitement of having someone waiting to listen to you every single night. You could tell him every detail of a day down to what colour socks you wore and you know heâll sit there listening with his hand on the small of your back, or his fingers twined between yours. Youâve never felt so loved as to be able to just talk about everything and have him talk back.Â
But⌠what if, this whole time, heâs been wishing for a little bit of quiet?Â
What if eventually, the talking becomes too much?Â
He must be with you for a reason. You arenât holding the poor guy hostage, he acts like heâs mad for you ninety percent of the time (while the other ten percent is spent sleeping on your shoulder).Â
Like now âyou knock his door and you can hear him scrambling up from the sofa, the sound of a book dislodged or a remote hitting the rug, youâre not sure. The door yanks open and Sirius smiles at you, pulling you in through the gap with a familiar hand on your hip.Â
âHey,â Sirius says, tucking you against his side, âhey, did you get lovelier over the weekend?â He shoves the door closed and gives you a hug with one arm, pausing in the hall. âSorry I couldnât see you. I donât think we should miss another weekend.âÂ
You have a lot to tell him. Itâs been ages since you spent nearly three days apart, but Jamesâ conversation stays at the front of your mind.Â
You decide to be less overwhelming, but not less loving, curling your arm behind his head to pull his cheek down for a kiss. âI donât think so, either.âÂ
Sirius tilts his head away from you in an invitation for more kissing.Â
Youâre at home in his flat. You take off your shoes and hang up your jacket. You change into a pair of jogging bottoms with loose legs and let him hoist you onto his bed for a few stolen kisses, though he isnât propositioning you, and you end up laying across his bedspread with one of your legs in his lap as he tells you about his days without you, his thumb sliding with pressure down your calf.Â
âMostly I wished Iâd asked you to come over anyways, even if it was just to sleep together at the end of the day. Maybe next time we can do that?â he asks.Â
âOf course we can.â You smile at him indulgently. âIâd come over for twenty minutes if it was all I could get.âÂ
âOr I can come to you,â he says, âeven if itâs just twenty minutes.âÂ
He smiles, a beaming thing, and leans down slowly for a soft kiss.Â
âSo,â he asks, his breath on your lips, âhow was your weekend? Lonely?âÂ
âSo lonely,â you tease lightly, eyes fluttering closed as he continues his massaging of your leg. âBut it was okay. I missed you, really, and didnât do much else.â
âNo?â he asks.Â
Your voice takes on a shine as he squeezes your knee, âMissed your hands.â Â
âI missed your everything.â He grabs for your forearms and pulls you into a sitting position. âBut everything was okay?â he asks more seriously.Â
âEverything was fine.âÂ
He raises his eyebrows, but eventually lets them relax. âWell, okay. Good, sweetheart, Iâm glad it was okay.âÂ
He persuades you into the kitchen to sit with him as he makes dinner, refusing to let you help, and yet insisting you be there in the same room, as though youâd like to be anywhere else. Sirius makes your favourite of his usual rotation, offering you spoonfuls for tasting, gaps of silence stretching as he struggles to find new conversation. You start answering his questions but remember time and time again that Sirius could become totally sick of you. He might already be.Â
Sirius puts the food on a low heat and washes his hands. He wipes them dry, but when he takes your face, dampness lines the inside of his fingers.Â
âIâd like for you to tell me whatâs wrong,â he says gently, stroking at the line of your startled frown, âbefore it gets worse. Do you want to talk about it?âÂ
âNothingâs wrong.âÂ
âPlease donât, lovely. If Iâve done something wrong, please tell me. I want us to last forever, and we canât do that if you wonât tell me when I upset you.âÂ
âIt wasnât you,â you say instinctively, then regret it.Â
âSo someone has?â he asks, still so gentle as his hands coast down your neck like heâs sculpting you, coming to rest on the slopes leading to your shoulders. âYou can tell me anything. You donât have to keep it to yourself⌠please.âÂ
âAre you sure?âÂ
âSweetheart.â He frowns deeply. Couldnât look more upset. âOf course Iâm sure. Why wouldnât I be?âÂ
You chew it over, not wanting or willing to cause ructions between Sirius and his oldest friend. âWell, I saw James today at the shop, and⌠we were talking about youâŚâÂ
He waits. âAnd?âÂ
âAnd he told me youâ you donât like talking. That you didnât like talking, that James used to make you sick of it. So I know I talk too much and youâve never made me feel like I shouldnât, but I guess I got into my head thinking youâd get sick of me, too.âÂ
âWhen we were younger I didnât like much of anything.â He curls an arm behind your neck to hold you in place, but itâs not a dominant sort of movement, only protective as your noses inch together. âDid you ever read that poem by Bukwoski? Let It Enfold You?âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
âIâm not very good at explaining myself. I thought if you knew the poem, youâdââ He laughs near your cheek. âI hated everything. It wasnât Jamesâ fault. He did make me sick of it sometimes, but I just wanted to hide from everything.â He breathes out slowly. âIâve never wanted to hide from you. I canât get sick of you. Do you get that? I canât get sick of you. Listening to you is the best part of my day, youâre my personal chatterbox.âÂ
âChatterbox,â you repeat teasingly.Â
âYou could talk for Wales,â he says. âAnd I love it, I donât want you to stop, because Iâll never be sick of it.â
âI donât want it to be some secret resentment.â
âI donât resent you for anything. I knew exactly who you were when we met and I love it.â He takes your face again. âI love it,â he repeats.Â
You steal a little kiss against the corner of his lips. âWhat was the poem?â you ask.Â
âIâll find my book, and you can read it to me. What do you think?â He takes a slow kiss as you had in the same place, words like honey. âI miss your voice.âÂ
Heâs basically pleading. Itâs not like Sirius to plead, but you pull it out of him.Â
âCan I have my dinner first?âÂ
âThe one I made while you deprived me?â he asks. âYes, if you must.âÂ
He takes another kiss, but youâre happy to give it.Â
Ok so Rebecca did a one hour panel today in Sydney with Lynette Noni hosting, where she asked questions and then they opened it to fans. I've kind of summarised the things I haven't seen mentioned over and over, but I don't frequent the subreddit anymore or use TikTok, so there might be overlap. In any case, it's long. Settle in. I've sectioned it into plot/character relevant first, then themes and interesting facts about her and her writing. Basically, you all came with me. đ
⢠In book three (and every book thereafter) we'll be going to more and more new places. She specifically worded it as "watching the map expand" whether that's significant or not, I don't know. (I was thinking Isle Kingdoms for OS, but maybe that's just my wishful thinking).
⢠She implied Jack will have a reason (explained) for uh...being a power-hungry prick? lol
⢠She's hella defensive of Dain, which I love. #DainApologistsClub đ Some highlights include:
"You guys give Dain so much shit for the same thing Xaden does. You really do and you're so fast to forgive Xaden and not Dain. Why? Is it because he's hot?"
And, "when push comes to shove, all Dain didâyes he violated her boundaries, as does Xadenâbut all he did was trust his dad when his best friend no longer spoke to him. That's it."
"When Dain looks at her (in the interrogation chamber) and says 'if you had just told me, none of this would have happened', he's not just talking about the interrogation, he's talking about Liam, he's talking about if she had just trusted him (in Fourth Wing) it never would have happened." đ˘
⢠She was asked about Liam's appearance in the interrogation chamber and definitively put to rest any signet theories involving that. "She's so alone in that moment and...I don't read fan theories but sometimes they reach my ears; she's completely disconnected from her magic in that moment, she can't even reach out for Tairn or Andarna, which are the bonds that are actually most important to her. She can't reach out for Xaden. And that's the one person who would have prevented that from happening the last year, so it's natural that's who her mind would summon."
⢠She's thought about a spin-off series, but she's just trying to survive this series.
⢠Someone asked her if there'd be any redemption and romance for Jack Barlowe and honestly, thanks guys, I don't think she's ever coming back to this country đ ("Are you getting enough sleep? Uh...I mean, from his prison cell maybe? No.")
⢠Someone asked "what is Garrick's signet and why hasn't it been shown yet?" (shoutout to this girl, she's the real MVP) to which Rebecca said "it's very much in book three, I love it."
⢠Someone asked about the orange dragons and unpredictability re: Amber, Jack, Varrish and then Imogen and Brennan. Rebecca said some dragons might look for traits like their own and some look for balance because it's a partnership; and that Brennan as a strategist needed that little bit of unpredictability in his life (lol, I think he got it).
⢠She didn't always plan for Violet to have two dragons. Originally it was going to be one (Tairn) and the editor had hoped that she would sway towards a weaker, smaller dragon and she thought that was a little too close to Abraxos in ToG, and so they compromised and gave her both. She also went on to say she doesn't like overpowered heroines and since Tairn is extremely powerful, Andarna balanced that out. (I'm not...I'm not sure how that works out? But that's what was said.)
⢠We are definitely going to find out more about the original six (and Lynette asked if that was a spin-off possibility and was shushed, so she's thought about it at least, but I get the idea she's thought about a lot of possibilities đ)
⢠There's no timeframe for the release of the final two books.
⢠Someone asked if Violet's dad was Malek to which she was kind of shocked. He's not a god, guys. And low-key I JUST WANT TO KNOW HIS NAME. đ¤
⢠On Sgaeyl: "You do (get more of her) but holy crap is she pissed. SoâI'll tell you that about Onyx Stormâshe is really, really mad at Xaden and she's not exactly speaking to him at the moment. So it's hard for her to speak into that bond when she's not speaking to him." đ
⢠She was asked about the Violet dated Halden theory (which was fucking hilarious because the poor girl misspoke and asked if Xaden dated the prince and we were all really confused about which TikToks the poor thing had seen (note to self: consider cam/xaden), anyway after we got to the bottom of that, Rebecca replied, "I think you should read the third book." Which I'm taking to mean, the man is making a damn appearance and we're gonna find out for ourselves đ Hey, if I'm lucky maybe we'll even find out his surname
⢠Finally she said she has EP on the Amazon series, they've all been exceptionally protective of it and that she's happy with how it's going (they're not near casting yet and she doesn't want to really comment on that ever, to leave each role open to as diverse a cast as possible). She said the production team has come to the signings in LA to meet readers and see what they love and are passionate about when it comes to the series to make sure that's honoured.
"Like I mean, I've seen certain...like what can I say without getting tackled to the ground? Let's just say they've already taken steps to make sure that what you guys love about the story is envisioned and that it's not run amok. And I'm very happy with it, they're super protective of it." Which could just be me reading into it, but the first place my brain went was the dragons đđ and the CGI or whatever.
⢠She was asked about where the inspiration for the universe came from and she said that when her Entangled decided they were going to do romantasy they asked her for five pitches and Fourth Wing was one of them (she won't say what the others were because she might still write them someday). She said she likes the fated mates trope but she wondered what that would look like if the dragons were the ones mated, not the humans and the humans who couldn't stand each other were forced to be around each other because of this.Â
⢠Her first ever book was romantasy but it didn't sell
⢠She's never really written enemies to lovers before.
⢠She likes found family themes because she was raised in a military family and moved around a lot, so that makes it hard to keep in touch with your extended family, and after she married her husband and became a military wife, it was their found family that was there for herâit was her found family who helped her move her house, who sat with her when her husband was injured in Iraq, etc, so she thinks it's very important to show that your family is also the people you choose and that can be just as strong as any blood tie.
⢠She was asked (by Lynette) why she wanted to show death and the reality of war and she said, "I've been surrounded by it. My husband's been at war since 2003, he spent 22 years in the army, first as a 19 Delta cavalry scout and then ten years as an apache pilot and we buried our friends. And I saw what it did to him, and I saw what it did to our friends, I saw what it did to our children, to us, and I love being able to examine it from a fantasy perspective just because I think fantasy gives us a unique environment from which to critique our own world by viewing it through the lens of another. And I've always delved into those themes as to why we do this to each other and where is there hope to stop it?"
⢠As an author her favourite scenes in Fourth Wing were the dagger stealing scene (very important to their chemistry and romantic developmentâ"she's the only person he's taught ever, how to actually kill him") and the first kiss scene.
In Iron Flame it was the interrogation scene and how that ends with Dain and Xaden and everything coming together.
When asked about a similar scene from Onyx Storm that elicited the same strong emotion from her she said "you're not gonna like it" and that's it đ
⢠She would consider writing fantasy again after she's done with the Empyrean world, maybe one of her other pitches, but she won't truly think about it until she's survived this one.
⢠She spoke about the "kill your darlings" writing advice and how if you love a scene but it doesn't move the plot, you've gotta cut it, and how she did that with the final scene in Fourth Wing, which was originally 7k words of Violet POV pulling information out of Xaden.
⢠When asked about fan theories she actually said something I found a little sad. "I don't listen to fan theories. One, I'm not on TikTokâit's a little bit more important for me to be alive than to listen to what other people think they know about me, and two, I don't ever want fan theories to bleed into my writing."
ă°ď¸ And that's it! If anyone's going tomorrow, please voice record the whole thing and report back lmao đ đŤśđź
happy birthday! ive been meaning to ask for a while if you have any spare minkowski thoughts, just in general. if not, are there any other characters in w359 that you see as trans or queer?
thank you!! sorry for not getting to this one on my birthday; i've been trying to come up with some minkowski thoughts for you, but i'm not sure if they'll be new!! one of my favorite things about minkowski is how much she really, truly has "guilty pleasures" in the most typical sense. when emma sherr-ziarko said the track name "minkowski watching 50 shades of gray with a tub of ice cream and enjoying it nonironically" informed her perception of the character, etc. i love that. all of the best characters are self-contradicting in very real and human ways, and minkowski has a ton of that. her love of musical theater gives us such insight into her interior world; she treats so much of her life like these separate, practiced "roles" to play, as if there can be clear divisions between them.
minkowski is a great leader, but she's not a natural leader, and - in fact - everything that does ultimately make her a person worth following is completely at odds with how she tries to lead, or how she thinks it's supposed to be done. i think she was in a dozen different clubs in high school, but didn't really have friends. i think she could get really into historical reenactment (and i would love for eiffel, hera, and minkowski to go to a ren faire - i think they'd all enjoy that, but for very different reasons.) i think minkowski earnestly believes in the concept of a "cheat day" and marks when she allows herself to eat a whole bunch of ice cream on her calendar - this is horrifying to eiffel, but she finds it sincerely motivating. i think minkowski's interior decorating sense is at least 30% more "live, laugh, love" than anyone else around her would be able to take seriously. she's the kind of person who needs everything in her house properly labelled and put away in the same place every time. eiffel is the kind of person who leaves everything out, all over the place, and forgets it exists if someone puts it away. making them live together is hilarious. i think minkowski likes romcoms and hallmark christmas movies; she's easily moved by very sappy media, and very defensive / embarrassed about that. she's used to being mocked for her taste, and for how it goes against her image as a career military woman. i do not think hera would share her taste in movies at all, but minkowski + hera girls' night is very important to me.
what else... oh!! i've talked to my friend @hephaestuscrew a lot about minkowski's parents, and i agree with the assessment that they are probably... pretty laid back? like, the kind of people who encouraged her to be whatever she wanted to be - the pressure she puts on herself to make something of herself is the kind of person she is, and a message she got from the world at large more than her parents, i think. her dad's first name has an anglicized spelling as well, so i think there's something kind of... well, there's something that rings true about minkowski trying to hold onto these parts of her heritage that her parents aren't as concerned about. koudelka's a czech name; we don't know anything about him, but i wonder if maybe she made that connection with him at least partially because they were both american children of (at least one) eastern european parent(s) in paris. and her mother is french, she learned french before she learned english, but we don't really know if she spent time in france before that. there's a sense of displacement to that.
(as for the other part, well... i'm not sure! obviously jacobi is gay, and i would generally agree lovelace and maxwell are as well. i think eiffel is technically bi, but he's straight culture bi. i think it would be difficult to get minkowski to really examine her sexuality. whatever kepler's sexuality is, i think he's done his best to close himself off from any sincere desire. my thoughts on hera's sexuality would require a whole other post, but obviously i read her as trans. there isn't really anyone else i think of as trans, but that's not to say it's impossible - they're mostly military or military-adjacent people born in the 70s and 80s; by and large i think they're coming to these topics of identity from a different perspective from those of us on tumblr dot com. but i think doug eiffel is one of the most cis characters i can imagine.)
it is weird being an aromantic asexual who is incidentally attractive. like. i just came back from a concert with my friends who have known me for years and know that about me. some of the very few real-life friends who know that about me actually and i only told them relatively recently. regardless. the only reason i had bothered to bring it up w them is that they had seen me in SO many situations that telling them âiâm asexualâ was if anything just clarification. just confirmation, like, donât worry. itâs not an inability to attach to others or whatever. if you canât tell. like theyâd seen me be pursued by quite a few people in our time as friends and at some point it seems like a curious thing if i only ever seem to feel negatively about anyone whoâs attracted to me, ever, no matter who it is. and they were understanding and i knew theyâd be. yeah.
we were talking on the way back about bucket list concerts weâd still like to see. we saw stromae which was a really big one of mine (my fucking boy btw, i had an amazing time). i mentioned that i donât have very many, as iâm rarely the person to be like âyeah, letâs go to a concertâ unless i have people i know i wanna go with. like iâve been meaning to see the jonas brothers w my sister and sisters-in-law ever since they came back because itâd be a fun thing for us since we always listen to them together.Â
but i would genuinely love to see super junior someday, like just for myself, wherever whenever if i was just able to get transportation (i donât drive). iâve loved suju for years but i got really back into them in 2020 in the pandemic as a sort of nostalgia comfort thing (but also the music theyâve put out in recent years is like, literally the best in their discography, they just keep getting better w age). and i had to go on this tangent to explain it, right?
in the first months of the pandemic, there was something weird happening to people psychologically. some kind of end-of-the-world loneliness. i mentioned that i had like 5 or 6 different people in my DMs at the time interested in me. not all of them men. and the friend who was driving said âyou know, diana, if this were literally anyone else talking, i would think that this is some enormous humblebragââ
and i like. didnât even think about it that way. i was just trying to make my point that i had a serious thought in 2020 of like, when the world opened back up, just doing one (1) seriously manipulative thing in my life and convince one of those men who was thirsting for me to buy me tickets to super junior and go with me. it was hypothetical. this hasnât happened and all but certainly will not. i would not feel good taking advantage of someoneâs feelings like that.Â
but i had to go on a tangent even before that because i was like. oh my goodness. i didnât even realize that was a humblebrag. iâm sorry. iâm just telling a story.
Please tell me about your shoujo journey. Do you think Skip Beat will outlast ILY? đ The pacing is on a whole other level of slow, I gave up on it, two decades running and Kyoko's only aged a year damn! I understand the frustration with the flashback, it is quite sluggish, but we're seeing the true impact Alyssa had on Shinae's trust, how it affects her relationship with Nol now, and what it means for them in the future. Plus we're getting some vital Alyssa content. I feel like she's become even more ambiguous to me. I have no idea where her head is at. I miss reading your analysis. I'd love discuss to her with you after the arc ends and we get our long awaited Shinae x Nol moment. It's been so loooong since we've seen them.
OOOOOHHHHHHH MY GOD ANON LMAO that question just made me pause HARD lmaooooooo. Listen. For alllllll the shit people say about ILY, I just feel it in my BONES that Skip Beat will outlast EVERYTHING lmaoooooooooooo GOD. Like, I'm sorry but ANY TIME people talk about slow pacing I'm just like.... I'll read this whole 30, 50? page chapter and WHAT HAPPENS? HOW MUCH TIME PASSES? NONE! lmao I like to do an annual "catch up" on Skip Beat now and then (when I remember lol). Like I LOVE that the mangka made it about more than just Kyoko's love life but also MAN each acting project is literally years long for us as readers!!!!!!!! lmao thanks to Skip Beat I have the patience to weather ANYYYYTHIIIIIIING hahahahahaha. Taking three months to get through a flashback arc? I can handle it! ILY could take 10 years to reach completion and I'd be, frankly, okay, because at least it could wrap up faster than Skip Beat ever could LMAO (and honestly like... 10 years of solid story telling is pretty ace in my book but that's a whole other thing lmao)
As for my shoujo journey, I'll be honest, it's not SUPER long! I didn't start reading manga until I was graduating high school, so by the time I started to dig into things, after some time I found myself growing out of it? Or, rather no it was more like... there's just a lot of tropes that were present in shoujo I was finding I wasn't into? (Like, oh my god so many triangles where I'd be like MEH I actually prefer the second lead. I learned very fast that a lot of your typical "first leads", at least back in the day, were NOT my style.) I still have a soft spot for a lot of stories that I loved, though! I haven't read Lovely Complex since god probably 2014, 2015? But I STILL loved it back then and I'm really eager for a re-read. I uh.... I really went through a Hirunaka no Ryuusei phase? Like.... lmaoooo it was a Big Thing for me hahhaha (I own the series in Korean, actually!!!!) My first two manga, though, were Skip Beat and Hana Kimi; my friend bought me the first Skip Beat volume at our school book fair and another friend bought the first few volumes of Hana Kimi and shared them with me! Hana Kimi is one of those that like.... you know it doesn't hold up over time, it leans heavily on tropes that are considered ethically nonos these days, but it stays special to me because in spite of all of that, idk I just! Enjoyed it! And now that I'm older I am okay saying "I LIKE THIS THING THAT IS FLAWED AND IMPERFECT AND I DO NOT NEED TO DEFEND IT" lol you know? There was the obligatory Vampire Knight phase that I finally fell out of but OOOF that was A Thing. (I was SO obsessed with it at first lol and I LOVED the art sooooo much that I read another series by the mangaka, MeruPuri which, frankly, was REALLY weird so nothing about Vampire Knight actually surprised me ngl LMAOOOOOO) You know I remember once starting Special A but I do not think I ever finished that! I put myself all the way through Ao Haru Ride even though I kept telling myself I needed to drop it and pretend it didn't exist. God what a trainwreck that one was lol like.... idk I'm not saying this as a dig to people who did enjoy it! There were just times I wanted to enter that story and punch people lmaoooo but I wonder what I would think if I went back and read it again now in the vein of like.... sometimes people are selfish and make bad choices because they are human? lol I also REALLY loved Orange but I'm going to admit I haaaaaaaaaaaaaated the ending and to this daaaaaay I haaaaaaaaaaaated it so much but that's a whole other post lol. LOVED the story, LOVED the art, was super into the theme, but just hated the execution of the ending SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH ;A;
lol I said it's not super long but look at me, rambling on and on!
I know no one is surprised that I wound up talking A LOT and just.... following, there's so much ILY rambling going on about why I appreciate and enjoy this flashback arc, and how I think it boosts the rest of the story so far lol so here's a read more, haaaha.......
I definitely feel you on how Alyssa feels even more ambiguous lol which is so funny. I love the insight and having a better idea of who she is as a person, even if we still don't fully know all of her motives. Just seeing her as a complex character like everyone else has been great. We all know I'm a sucker for parallels lol and seeing how everyone has their own traumas, that everyone has a root for who they are, is the stuff that keeps me hooked on ILY. Alyssa was very easily written off by people and I don't defend her or anything - I really hope we get to see her take responsibility for her actions and ownership for the hurt she has caused, whether on purpose or not - but also, it always felt like she was suuuuuuuper reduced down by fandom on a whole. I think a very human thing quimchee is good at capturing is that we don't always mean to hurt the people we do, but it still happens, and that sometimes good intentions can make things worse in the longrun - and this can go for Alyssa towards Nol or Shinae, frankly.
Honestly, too, something I love about her is like... like you know how if you read a novel, the protagonist is supposed* to be the character who makes the right choices and does good things? And when people are presented an "unlikable protagonist" it's usually a character who is acting on their emotions and responding to their experiences - it's a character making the choices that we ourselves might make. (* I'm saying "supposed" here because a protagonist DOESN'T have to make the right choices, but it turns out people really hate media where female characters make selfish choices lmaoooo) I guess that's what I like seeing about Alyssa in this flashback. I've seen a lot of people say that Alyssa is weak for caving to peer pressure or something but like... was that not the middle school experience? I don't know a lot of people who were super self-assured and full of confidence in middle school - but especially someone in Alyssa's position who has never really interacted with kids her own age and is so afraid of ostracization. Like a lot of the woven storylines of ILY, something I love is that we are shaped by our experiences, right? Most people never faulted Shinae for shutting down and putting up strong defenses when we first met her in the story, because we know she'd been screwed over by life and people and as people who have been there before, we understand self-preservation tactics. She even basically admits it herself that she WANTED to open up to people. Shinae wasn't guarded because she hated people, she lied to herself because of how much she'd been hurt and she was afraid to take that chance again and try it. Shinae is afraid to be burned, Alyssa is afraid for people to ever have a chance to burn her. It's so inherently HUMAN to be afraid of being alienated, to want to BELONG, to want to feel like you fit in. She faces a daily crisis in how she is desperate to belong with people who might not accept her if they knew what she was truly like.
And idk, I cannot fault her for that completely, because it took me until my early-to-mid-20s to learn to be okay on my own and that it was better to be myself than try to fit in where I wasn't wanted. I put up with shitty friendships for a long time because I had myself convinced that it was all worth it. So a middle schooler struggling with this is SO VERY real, and it's wild to me to see people fault her for this. Alyssa has done some things worth being mad about, but seeing her written off for being a human middle schooler is WILD to me.
That's a whole other tangent LOL but it's something I haven't really gotten around to ever talking about. Like, whatever, I cannot - and I won't even try lol to - convince people to like Alyssa, but frankly, I think all of the characters of ILY are SO dimensional and fascinating, how can I not enjoy exploring parts of their story? I think sometimes people think that if I say "I enjoy a character" it means I endorse everything they do. I DO like Kousuke and Alyssa. Would I want to be their friends? Good grief, no. But I'm here as an observer of a story and I think it's fascinating to see how their experiences bring about the circumstances of this story. That moment of dramatic irony when Alyssa promises that she won't stop being Shinae's friend, but we know how it all ends, we all know that's a promise she does not keep, and we know how those events affect Shinae and much of the story that unfolds!
how it affects her relationship with Nol now
I feel like this is something that doesn't come up a lot? Or maybe I just missed any period of fandom when they might have discussed it? Like.... if Shinae hadn't been burned like this by Alyssa, she wouldn't carry the paranoia she does - not about Maya and Rika and certainly not about Minhyuk. Even to this day, we saw that Shinae worries that even the people she trusts are humoring her - because she's been there, she trusted someone who hurt her. The entire trajectory of her relationship with Nol would be completely different! A really beautiful aspect of Nol and Shiane's friendship to me is not just that he managed to make Shinae open up - it's that now that we know how Shinae lied to herself, how she was hurt in the past, how trusting people burned her so badly - but the fact that despite everything she'd been through, she WANTED him to be someone she could trust, she WANTED him to be worth letting down her guard.
Like, again!!!!! Everything that happens in this story only does so because of circumstances and events that precede it. Shinae going to Nol's school was not just because she wanted to check on and see her friend - she was desperate to prove herself wrong, desperate for Nol to prove that he was worth the chances she took, that trusting him was not another mistake she knew better than to make.
I think a flashback arc shows us more than just insight into her relationship with Alyssa, which we've established was something very important, something special that was destroyed. It's the juxtaposition of pre-accident Shinae, who was willing to open herself up, who was plucky and bullheaded and just wanted to be appreciated it. Contrast that with the Shinae we meet early in the story, who has herself convinced it's okay to be alone, when now we know she was yearning to be appreciated, maybe yearning for someone to fight for her the way she fought for Alyssa but believed that something like that wasn't possible. I think we also see the flashback because while we've seen some of the ugly moments of Shinae's life, we never really saw how we went from this point to that point, you know? How there are small pockets of things in her life that make her want to keep believing in what she knows better than to believe - in teachers who listen to her when she tells the truth, in friends who stand up for her and defend in - even as her life starts to crumble. She can't escape her past, she's literally being haunted by it, even as she tried to put it all behind her. Her father is falling more and more into alcoholism due to stress from school plus his job, and soon he's going to be saddled with medical bills and having to take care of Shinae, which is probably what derailed school completely. THESE are the experiences that made the Shinae we know - a Shinae who is TERRIFIED of being hurt but also LONGS to be proven wrong, a Shinae who wants to share an experience she thought maybe she doesn't deserve, a Shinae who quietly believed maybe the universe just wanted to punish her for existing but still tries so hard to defy it.
Idk like yes we get that sense of Shinae without the backstory, but I think it really emphasizes this so much more? And I think it's also some kind of proof, maybe, that Alyssa IS more important than people have given her credit for, not just in the past but also in the future of the story. She doesn't exist just to move plot and drive wedges between relationships or something lol she, too, a complex character with complex experiences and god isn't that the sum of so many moments of people headbutting? That we are complex and sometimes struggle to see beyond our own issues, because what we deal with blinds us? Alyssa is blinded by her desire to escape her family and experience something NORMAL and be liked. Maybe she DOES want attention! Kousuke is blinded by a sense of destiny instilled in him since he was young, blinded by paranoia that fed off of this "destiny", blinded by his inability to accept his father's human nature, blinded by his fear that the only thing that makes him matter to his father is threatened. We met Nol thinking he was a character who looked out for others but even he's been blinded by his misery and by the feelings of worthlessness that has been punched down into him.
We butt heads with people because sometimes we are so caught up in our own struggles that it's hard to understand that others struggle, too, and I think that's where some of the best conflict comes. Like yeah there's good conflict in "Shinae has been roped into attending this horrible formal" but there's something poignant and painful in "Shinae unintentionally repeated the Alyssa cycle when she let Nol in" and even BETTER we get to see how she's grown from it!
This is, as always, lmao a very rambling tangential departure from the main point lol but!!!!! I have had a lot of feelings here and I know part of peoples' irritation is they want to get back to Nol and Shinae right now, but I think seeing Shinae's past helps create even MORE appreciation for what Nol means to her - that he is someone who hurt her but she is still willing to give another chance - and moreover, that we can see that though Shinae came from a loving home, she, too, has suffered her own abuse, was battered and beaten down by people, and unlike Nol, she was able to conclude it doesn't make her bad. Idk it's so beautiful to me and I get really overwhelmed lol it makes me appreciate their friendship SO MUCH more, for what they mean to each other and what they can be, you know? Seeing Shinae's resilience, through the new girl at middle school hoping to start all over to failing at that to putting up that guarded wall to finally taking a chance, finally giving in and accepting that yes, she still has hope, there's still faith, and Nol was that spark. UGH!
ANYWAY lol I do think we are probably nearing the end of this flashback arc. I don't know how many episodes I think remain - I generously said less than 10 a week or two ago lol but I think that was very generous. The timeline (and Alyssa's behavior) feels like we are approaching the point of Alyssa pushing Shinae and YES i will be so happy to go over the whole arc with you!!! I've been wanting to make a post that I keep holding off on, because I don't know if it would be better to do it now or wait for the whole arc to end, but I think there's a good conversation to be had about how a lot of Alyssa's behavior is directly tied to her homelife - how it's implied her father is someone who, at the very least, shouts a lot - and how that ties into her deflective, people-pleasing nature. Again, Alyssa is not really a spineless, MEAN-spirited person. She, like everyone else, is just the sum of her experiences, and I don't think she's learned to deal with them in a healthy way. (And frankly speaking, what about her relationship with Nol IS healthy anyway?)
I know this is so much more than you bargained for lol but you KNOOOOWWWW I love these asks and it HAS been so long since I got to just.... ENTHUSE about this - not just try to analyze or talk about what an episode has revealed but just GUSH about it lol so I could not help myself! But yes, once this arc ends, I will be READY to dissect and discuss EVERYTHING. I feel so emotionally invested, knowing that Shinae is about to experience the worst burn of her life, while she's still so trusting and earnest and aaaahhhhhhhh it's going to HURT so much ;~; But in a maybe cathartic way. (Also, and this is something I should get to later, I think something big about this flashback is that, y'know, it's kind of implied that Shinae has repressed a lot of this. Her memories of the moment are hazy, Alyssa appeared in a series of people Shinae was shocked to realize she harbored so much anger towards. I think as much as this is for US to see exactly what happened, I think it's also kind of a wake up call for Shinae, who has repressed and ignored so much of this, and I'm really REALLY curious to see how she reacts after return to the present. Is she angry? Sad? Sad for her younger self? Is it cathartic for her? How raw is it? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh)
Fandom: The Last of Us
Pairing: Joel Miller x Virgin!Reader
Rating: 18+
Warnings: girth age gap, virgin!reader, eventual loss of virginity (not in this chapter), gratuitous descriptions of Joel Miller's body, somewhat creepy!Joel, fetishization of youth, dom!Joel, breaking and entering, playboy magazine, objectification, fingering, sexual discoveries.
Word count: 6.2k
Summary: Joel's warnings about what men like him would do to girls like you only makes you want him more.
A/N: Back in the depths of hell again, you guys. Now this isn't the most depraved thing I've written by any means but it's up there. Come say hi in my chat or inbox, I'd love to talk. Keep a look out for follow up parts and pleeeeease give me comments. I am very very desperate.
Joel Miller was a bad man. That much he knew.Â
Even as he fixed taps and renovated houses that were falling apart, he could see the blood on his hands. The very hands that packed lunches for Ellie snapped necks, pistol whipped men, stole from a starving child so he could feed his grown brother. But there were lows even he didnât stoop down to.Â
Not that he didnât have the opportunity. Men always did. And in this world, opportunities had only tripled. Even the Boston QZ, as strict as it was, had an underground brothel. He knew Tess to frequent it and never asked questions. Sometimes she needed to bury her face between a good pair of thighs and wrap her lips around a pretty pussy, and this wasnât something he could give her. There was a lot he couldnât give her.
Being in Jackson shouldâve civilized him. It did in many ways. Heâd reverted to the southern gentleman with table manners. âYes, Maâamâ spilled out of his lips effortlessly when he spoke to women. He held the door for anyone walking in after him. He even went to Churchâ sorry, the multifaith house of worshipâto help renovate.Â
That was where his troubles began.Â
There was no point in him going where people prayed. Being back in civilization did not erase his decades of disbelief in a cruel God who would take his baby and keep him on this accursed Earth. But he did because he was back to being a contractor and Tommy asked him to go fix up the pews instead of him. He didnât have much time, being a new dad and all.
He was on his knees checking out the rotting wood and evaluating how much wood heâd need for building new ones when he was confronted by a pair of legs and a sweet voice. Yours.Â
âLemonade, Mister Miller?âÂ
He looked up, his eyes traveling up your legs, bare until he got to your knees where the hem of your flowery skirt sat. Pure, unblemished knees, never taken a fall, didnât fucking creak, and never knelt before anyone but God. You looked down sweetly, eyes wide and innocent like a newborn cow. Everyone had a kind of darkness about them in this world. Everyone except the kids who didnât know a world outside the insular walls of Jackson. And you, it turned out, even though you werenât a kid.
He wiped his sweat off with the greasy rag he carried and looked up at you once again. You had a pitcher and an empty glass in your hands. A sweet smile on your lips and hair falling down your shoulders and reaching your breasts. A yellow ribbon sat in a bow where your neckline dipped between your breasts, adding to the innocence of your look.
âYes please, Maâam. Thank you,â he said, giving you a nod. Your pretty plush lips curled up, a giggle escaping them as you poured him a glass of lemonade.Â
His hand brushed against yours as he accepted the glass, his hand too large to curl around it without making contact with you. You giggled again before retracting your hand and occupying it with adjusting your hair.Â
âIâm younger than you, you know? Donât have to call me Maâam.âÂ
âJust being polite. Maâam.â He took the glass to his lips, mindful to take only a small sip instead of downing it in desperation. Another adjustment to make when food was no longer a scarcity. Sweet, sour, and salty danced on his tongue before it glided down his throat. Just a sip refreshed him. And the sight of a nice girl didnât hurt the cause either.Â
Itâd been so long since he had a nice refreshing glass of lemonade. Summers meant worse infestations of infected, not the barbecues, lemonades, and swimming of past. When surviving each hour was under threat, small luxuries like this became out of reach of even oneâs dreams.
âWell, guess I should call you Sir then,â you said, leaning against the wall. You held the pitcher up to your chest and the tails of the ribbon on your chest dipped into it, the soft shiny yellow turning dark, tainted.
His mouth watered and fucking hell, it wasnât the lemonade you just gave him. He took a sip of the drink and licked his lips, imagining how youâd taste if he wrapped his large hand around your neck and pressed his chapped lips to your plush ones. Better yet, if he held your legs apart and devoured you other pair of lips until you were leaking down his mouth. Would you call him Sir then? His cock twitched in his jeans as he pictured you bent over one of these pews, your skirt pushed up and his hand in your hair as he slid his cock in your hole.Â
Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck was wrong with him?Â
âMade the lemonade yourself?â He asked, groaning as he managed to get himself back up on his feet. His knees creaked like the floorboards of the houses he renovated, but ultimately supported him as he stood. He towered over you, making you appear smaller, more fragile.Â
âDepends. Do you like it?âÂ
âItâs wonderful, of course. Hot summer day like thisâŚI really needed it,â he said, raising the glass up a little before taking another sip.Â
âWell then yes, I did make it.â
He chuckled, feeling himself pulled in by your easy charisma. It was nice to have normal conversations like this once again. No agenda, no need for establishing himself as someone who wouldnât hesitate to beat someone up if even mildly threatened. It was justâŚnormal.Â
âItâs very sweet, Maâam. Like you I assume,â he added, mentally dusting off the part of his brain where he stored skills for conversing with pretty girls.
You laughed, holding your free hand up to your mouth to cover your lips that widened and revealed your teeth.Â
âIs that the southern charm that I hear our townspeople talk about?âÂ
âThey talk about my charm? I didnât hear.âÂ
âOh yes, they do⌠Joel Miller, charming pants off of everyone in town.â
âPants? Well thatâs disappointing. I was hoping Iâd charmed some pretty skirts off.âÂ
âLots of experience with that, Mister Miller?â you asked, sliding your hand over the soft fabric of the skirt of your dress. Such delicate fabric. He could fist the hem and give it one tug and itâd rip right off.
âMore ân what you got for sure,â he said, loath to hint at how infrequent his encounters had become in the recent past. Tess died, he did a cross country hike with an annoying kid, he needed to maintain a good reputation in his new town. One buried after the other. Enough to leave a man with nothing but his fist and his imagination. He would kill for a fucking Playboy magazine. Literally. Heâd killed for less.
âWhat do you know about how experienced I am?âÂ
âBeen experiencing longer than youâve been alive, Maâam.âÂ
âOh well. Nothing I canât learn.âÂ
He laughed nervously and stuck his hand in his jeans pocket. Surely you couldnât be flirting⌠Why would a young thing like this flirt with him? He was in his late fifties looking like mid sixties and you were⌠He didnât know. Young.
âIf you could teach me, Mister Miller. Give a girl some experience?â
âIâm sure you can find someone else.âÂ
âOh. Not your type, am I?â you asked, and he deluded himself thinking you sounded disappointed. No chance.Â
He didnât have a type. Long time since he thought of frivolous shit like that. But you shouldnât be his type.Â
âThereâs much more eligible men in town is what Iâm saying,â he said, suddenly hesitant to lie. Lying had never been an issue for him. The right thing was to lie, say you werenât his type so he wouldnât cross lines. Itâd been a long time since he did the right thing.
âIâll be the decider of that,â you said with a shrug of your shoulder before taking the empty glass from him. âHave a good rest of the work day, Mister Miller.â
Later that night, he wrapped his fist around his cock in the privacy of his room. His mind flooded with images of you spread out for him, sweet lips and a sweeter pussy milking him. He couldnât even recall the last time he was with a woman. It was Tess, of course. Sometime before she got thrown in FEDRA jail for the last time. Too fucking long ago.
Surely it was only because itâd been a long time since he got his dick wet. Heâd never, in his entire life, pictured a woman so much younger spreading her legs for him. Sucking his cock. Crying out his name. How old was she even? Not past mid twenties for sure.
It was wrong, he knew, as white hot spend spurted out of his cock and covered his hand. A sour tang took over his mouth as the fog of unadulterated lust cleared up to reveal the ugliness in his head. He shuddered, feeling like something had crawled under his flesh. He hadnât felt guilt like this in so long.Â
Wrong, wrong, wrong.Â
You werenât even as old as his kid would be had she been alive.Â
Heâd known men like that back in the day. Grays in their hair and skin like old leather, but pretty young things old enough to be their daughter hanging off their arm. It was obvious that none of them kept these girls around for love or for their personality. It was always sex and the feeling of self-importance when a sweet young thing paid attention to balding heads, beer bellies and limp dicks that needed a blue pill to get up.Â
Fucking disgusting.Â
He began avoiding you whenever you happened to be in the same space. At the house of worship, the town clinic where you interned, trading days when people exchanged what they had for what they wanted. His eyes never met yours and he always quickly looked away when they stared too long at your uhâŚfeminine featuresâ pretty legs, cute ass, round tits. Where the fuck did you get sundresses anyway? Who kept that shit around in this world?Â
He didnât know that when he avoided you, you took note of him. When he took glances of your features, you memorized his for later in the night when you buried your head in your pillow and pushed your fingers inside your pussy to simulate what it must be like to be with a man.Â
He was older. That much you knew from his grey hair, sun-damaged skin, and gait that exuded bone-deep weariness. You knew Tommy had just turned fifty. Hard to miss occasions that meant a free slice of cake from the canteen. Joel had to be in his mid-fifties at the very least. At first glance, he wasnât what youâd consider handsome. There were younger men in town. Fit and muscular. Didnât groan and scrunch up their faces when they got up. Didnât have lines on their foreheads. No bags under their eyes.Â
Yet there was something about Joel that was more entrancing.Â
After your first meeting when you offered him lemonade, you made sure to visit under the guise of worship. You didnât know much about religion and were conflicted about embracing a god. The only faith you had rested in your medical instruments and the medicines the townâs chemist concocted. But it was a nice place to meet people, to check on healing patients.
The visits were worth it for a glimpse of Joelâs large hands wrapped around his carpentry tools. When the sun was the hottest, he sometimes stripped down to his tank top, giving you a show better than any film played in the community theater. His broad back looked masculine enough in his flannel shirts. But you didnât know desire like the first time you saw him in a white tank, showing off his muscular arms as sweat dripped down his tan skin.
When you pleasured yourself in your room, it took time, imagination, your fingers, and a lot of effort to make slick pool in your pussy. That day, all it took was the sight of Joel Miller working. You sat with your thighs pressed together, rubbing them against each other in the most inconspicuous little movements.Â
Could it be blasphemy if the God who was supposedly orchestrating everything made this man take his shirt off in front of you?
It made no fucking sense. Joel was old. He looked like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed every goddamn day. He had been chewed up and spat out by whatever the fuck was outside Jackson these days. Hardened expressions, graying patchy beard, hands calloused from carpentry and decades of using weaponry. Features that only indicated a long life lived, not attractiveness.
You were supposed to be attracted to the soft, sweet ones like the guys in the worn out copies of romance stories that the previous inhabitant of your house stashed in the basement. Even his little brother would be a more reasonable target for your lust. Younger, taller, softer, head full of dark, silky hair with few grays. But you wanted Joel Miller with his rough graying beard that would prick your skin were you to cup his cheek like the women on the novel covers.Â
Something about him just screamed Man. Something that none of the other guys in town had. There was nothing wrong with any of the other Jackson men, but none of them made you want to take the plunge and lose your virginity. It wasnât the lack of offers, per se. Youâd gotten looks from many eligible Jackson bachelors. You had drinks with a few of them. Dinner with fewer and shared a kiss with more than one. Alright, two. But anything beyond that had you trembling in anxiety.Â
It wasnât anything precious to you, virginity. But youâd waited so long. Focused so long only on survival and then helping to build this town and now training to become a doctor. Whatever passed for doctor these days. With all your life dedicated to everything but your love life, you simply had no experience. What if you messed up and they laughed? You knew anatomy, but that didnât translate to practical stuff. What if you couldnât make them feel good? Youâd have to see the guy all the damn time in the small town. There would be no escaping the awkwardness.
Sure it was counterintuitive to keep pushing away sexual encounters because you had no experience. But you didnât know what else to do. You were too old already to not have done anything. But each day that passed with you rejecting perfectly nice men meant you were getting even older for your first time.Â
You didnât know where Joel fit into your need for exploring your sexuality, but it didnât hurt to stare. God knew everyone else in Jackson did.Â
So you stared. Work with his carpentry tools. Riding on horseback into Jackson after patrol. Helping with the fucking sheep. Walking around with Tommy. Carrying his nephew around town. It should be inappropriate to be fantasizing about a man when he was doing something as innocent as carrying a baby. But seeing his large hand cradling the babyâs little head made you want to scream into your pillow and kick your legs.Â
âYou alright, sweetheart?âÂ
Your heart fluttered and you let out a nervous laugh at being caught. You smoothed out the wrinkles on your clothes just to make it look like you were alright. Unfortunately you were wearing a pair of fucking jeans. You didnât even want to know how awkward you looked.Â
ââm alright, Mister Miller.âÂ
âJoelâs fine,â he said, rocking his nephew in his arms.
Oh fuck, his fucking arms!
âOh I donât know,â you said, fidgeting with a belt loop on your jeans. âWouldnât want to be impolite addressing you by your first name like that.â
He smiled, recalling your conversation from the house of worship when you called him Sir and had him fucking himself in the shower to the memory. âAh. âcause Iâm an old man,â he said, more as a reminder to himself to fucking behave.Â
âYouâre not that oldâŚâ you trailed, looking him over in a way that set fire to every inch of skin that you laid eyes on.
Behave, Miller. Youâre out with your nephew.Â
âThat so?â he asked, eyebrow raised.Â
âMhmm. You donât look a day over seventy.âÂ
He snorted, making Miles stir in his arms just a little. That stung a little. It shouldnât. Your estimation of his age, whether you were serious or not, was reminder enough that he was too old to be lusting after you.
âThanks. Iâm actually eighty-two.âÂ
You giggled your pretty little giggle, lowering your gaze to the ground and looking back up only when it had turned into a wide grin. âHow old are you actually?â
âOld. Fifty six.âÂ
âFifty-six isnât that oldâŚâ you trailed as you brought a hand up to his bicep. Joel gulped, praying to the non-existent God that you would stop before praying to the same God that you would keep your hand right there. God answered his second prayer. You squeezed, licked your lips and looked up at him with your doe eyes.
âChecking if the hardware is still working, Doctor?âÂ
âIâm not a doctor yet.âÂ
âWhen do you become one then? Ainât no Harvard handing out medical degrees in this town.â
âHoward?â you asked, squinting at him. Ah, of course you didnât know. Harvard didnât mean the same thing to you. Now it was just like every other building in Boston. Run over by infected. These ones were just the nerdy kind with glasses on.
âThat was a thing, too. But I said Harvard. They were big universities back then.â
âAh. Did you go there?â You asked, with no malice or bite. Oh, bless your heart. No one expected a dummy like him to have gone to university at all, much less Harvard. No one in his family had gone. Sarah was meant to be the first.
âYeah. Traded some oxy and threw molotovs at clickers in the campus.âÂ
You rewarded him with a giggle and that was incentive enough for him to keep going. âGuys like me didnât get into Harvard. Or Howard. Didnât even go to community college. I finished high school and got a job in construction.âÂ
âYou didnât go to uhâŚconstruction college?â You asked, cocking your head and raising an eyebrow as though testing out the term.
âNo such thing. Well, there were civil engineering programs, but I just learned on the job.âÂ
âLike me.âÂ
âGuess so. I see you reading from all those fat medical books. But thereâs no need to study any books in construction. âcept if you wanna be an engineer or architect or something, which Iâm not.âÂ
âMaybe you should write one. We could all do with some knowledge from before. Itâs important to document it, pass it on to Ellie and little Miles over there.âÂ
âI ainât writing books, sweetheart. Donât think I even remember how to write much. Iâll just keep to fixing things up in this town. So, if you need some help with your placeâŚIâm happy to help.â It was the least he could do. Maybe as some kind of penance for having impure thoughts about you. Or as a fucked up trade for starring in the mental images he conjured to jack off in the shower.
âThere is something, actually. But I donât have anything to trade for, so Iâll wait until I do,â you said, clasping your hands behind your back and swaying in place in an endearing manner.
âNonsense. You patched me up just last week. Youâve done enough for the townâs health to not have to trade for anything ever again.âÂ
âWell, no. Thatâs not how it should be⌠Itâs peopleâs health. Canât put a price on that.â
âBelieve it or not, health had a steep price back in the day. Cost four thousand something just to give birth. Double that if they had to cut you open.â And that was just how much it cost when Sarah was born. He was sure it had only gone up by 2003. If he hadnât worked his ass off, there was no way he couldâve escaped debt. It helped that his Ma and his then wifeâs parents helped with childcare. Wouldâve been even more expensive without that.
âDamn. I donât know how much that is, sinceâŚyâknow we donât have money now. But that sounds like a big number. It shouldnât cost anything just to be born.âÂ
âTell me about it,â he said, shaking his head. âBut listen. Anything you want fixed, Iâll help out. You can give me something later if youâre worried. I know Ellieâs always on the look for new books to read and you seem to have a lot of them.âÂ
âNothing Ellie would like. Not like the special limited edition of Savage Starlight or anything. Just medical textbooks and romance novels.âÂ
âWe could trade for the lemonade from that afternoon,â he insisted, desperate to do something for you. Take care of you as you took care of everyone who walked into the clinic be it papercuts or a fucking knife in their abdomen.Â
âAlright. Trade for the lemonade it is then,â you said, giving in to his pressure.
âNow tell me. What dâya need fixed?âÂ
âââ
It had been a few days since Joel promised to fix your shower for you. Each time he came by and rang your doorbell, you hid somewhere away from your windows. When he caught sight of you in public, you quickly walked away or engaged in conversation with someone else. You didnât need shit fixed. Everything in your house was perfectly alright. Tommy and his guys had given the place a complete makeover just a couple months before Joel and Ellie arrived.Â
You were no paragon of honesty, but you didnât make lying a habit. There were a few white lies here and there and this was meant to be one of them. It just didnât fucking hit you that if you lied to a contractor that your shower was broken, he would eventually come over to fucking fix it. All your desperate sex starved brain wanted that day was for Joel Miller to come use his tools in your room and flex those muscles while at it.
So invested were you in that particular fantasy that as you unwound after a long shift at the clinic, it was with Joelâs beefy arms in mind. You stood in front of your mirror, taking in your reflection. One of the magazines youâd found in a box under your bed laid open on the dressing table. Playboy. Entertainment for Men. Each had a scantily clad woman on the cover. And many more inside.Â
You made comparisons to yourself and the woman in the center page of the issue.
She stood in front of a dressing table too, but much different from how you stood. Her legs were on either side of her dressing table chair and her hands on the top of it. Between her arms were breasts, big and round and with smooth skin. They didnât have any marks on them like yours. No moles, no stretch marks. Just plain. And she just stood there, soft brown hair down, tickling the top of her breasts and her lips parted as she gazed at you. No, at the men she was meant to entertain in this menâs entertainment magazine. All she had on was panties that went high up to her flat belly that connected to high transparent socks.
You reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, wishing that you had something nicer like the woman on the cover of another one of the magazines. Bright red and showing off her breasts wonderfully, but pulled down to reveal almost everything. What was the point of a bra then if it didnât cover or support anything? Entertainment, you decided. Men seemed to be very entertained by breasts.Â
Many a man had stared at yours even though you had them behind layers of fabric unlike the naked women of the magazines. Many had conversations with them instead of your face. Some brushed up against them âaccidentallyâ. Joel thought he was being covert, but you felt his brown eyes rove all over them. You thought maybe that he too would brush up against it sometime, but he never did. Maybe entertainment stopped at just looking, as in the magazines.Â
You wondered if Joel sought out menâs entertainment magazines like this. He was from before everything went to shit, so it was very possible that he did. Did he like the women in these pages, sticking their asses out and looking through the pages at him? Would he be entertained if he saw you like this?Â
You didnât know that if you turned your head to your bedroom door, you would have your answer. Joelâs cock strained against his already tight jeans as he stood awestruck by your figure. He swallowed as you held on to the top of the chair and lifted your knees, one after the other and placed them on the plush seat. You arched your back, a little too much at first before reducing the curve. Your ass stuck out enticingly and he didnât know whether to grab, squeeze, slap, or spread your cheeks apart and fuck your ass.Â
He should leave.Â
It was stupid of him to walk into your house with a box of plumbing tools to fix your shower when you hadnât yet given him a date or time for it. Plus you were avoiding him. Running away with your little friends and picking up stuff to hide your face from his view. He was plenty sure that when heâd rung your doorbell, you werenât always away from home.Â
He should leave.Â
Fixing the shower could wait. He could confront you some other day.Â
But you were putting on such a pretty little show in nothing but your panties and he was only a man. A bad one.Â
His boots stayed put on your hardwood floors as you enjoyed yourself in front of the mirror. You spread your knees and let your fingers between your thighs, eyes closed, lips parted and low whines escaping your lips in just a few minutes. He palmed his growing erection over his jeans, consequences of being caught be damned. He was a foul beast already. What bad was another sin on the list? Besides, you were the one whoâd left the fucking door open.Â
Your soft whimpers grew into moans as you brought yourself closer and he forced his feet to stay put despite their urge to walk up to you and give you something to really moan about.Â
âFuuâ mmm Joel, pleeease.â
He let out a gasp, all his restraint flying out the window as soon as he heard his name from your lips. You couldnât actually be doing this⌠There had to be another Joel in town. Younger, better looking, smarter.
Your voice grew needy and the pitch higher as you kept at it. âFuck, fuck, fuck! Gimme it, Sir.âÂ
No, it couldnât be anyone else.Â
Joel toed his boots off and took quiet steps towards you, emboldened by the filth that spilled from your lips. If this old man was what you wanted, he wouldnât stop himself from reaping the benefits. He wasnât a goddamn saint. Never was.Â
He stopped in front of you, surprised you still hadnât sensed his presence. As though the universe heard his thoughts, it had you open your eyes. You gasped as soon as you saw him and buckled off the chair, but Joel caught you. You shuddered, unable to cope with the sudden touch.Â
âJ-Joel?âÂ
âYeah, sweetheart,â he said, touching your cheek with the back of his hand. You whined, your body molding itself against his chest. You brought a hand to his arm, feeling the rock hard muscles underneath his sleeves and your other hand worked between your legs. Â
Your fingers no longer felt adequate as you felt his large fingers on your cheek. âWant you, please,â you whined, desperate to return to the edge where you had been right before you saw him.Â
âYou donât know what youâre asking of meâŚâ he spoke dangerously, soft brown eyes clouded with a kind of desire you had longed to see in him for weeks.Â
âWant youâŚwant you to be with me,â you repeated stupidly, your desperation clouding your senses too much for you to say anything else. While in the past you only wanted to get rid of your virginity, your goals had become more specific with his arrival. You wanted him. You wanted his big hands and broad shoulders, to hold on to them as you rode him. To watch his grumpy expressions turn to ecstasy under you.Â
âTell me not to touch you,â he said, his tone low and almost threatening. Any other threat from him, you wouldâve heeded. But not this one.Â
âTouch me!âÂ
It was as though something in him snapped at your words. While darkness only loomed over him before, it now completely took over.The hand that previously only caressed your cheek now wrapped itself around your neck. Before you could completely process the move, his other hand slapped yours away. He replaced two of your puny fingers with his middle finger, eliciting a strained moan from you.Â
âTouching yourself to a Playboy magazine, huh?âÂ
You only nodded, unable to form words now that a fantasy of yours had finally come to life.
âDirty little thingâŚThought you were a nice girl and all. Helpinâ out at the clinic, head buried in books all the time. Turns out you actually got your head in dirty magazines.âÂ
You whined, your pussy clenching and gushing around his finger at the way he was speaking to you. The same man who insisted on calling you Maâam despite your protests was calling you a dirty girl now. The veil of respectability seemed to have floated away at the sight of you naked and pleasuring yourself. Had you known that this was all you needed to get Joel Miller to touch you, you wouldâve done it much sooner.
He added another finger, the girth of him enough to stretch you more than you had done for yourself. You brought a hand up to his shoulder and fisted his shirt, needing something to anchor yourself to.Â
âYou ever been taken by a man, sweetheart?â He asked, his tone too cool and casual for what he was doing to you. You shuddered, partly from his phrasingâ taken, he said. Taken. Like you were a thing. Like the women in the magazines positioned so uncomfortably just so their breasts could look a certain way for the picture. Printed on the cover page with the words Entertainment for Men written on top. You shook your head, feeling small as you confessed it for the first time.Â
âAny man?âÂ
âN-no,â you managed to breathe out, whimpering at the way the bulge beneath his jeans twitched at your simple answer. He took a step to position himself behind you, letting you lean your back against his chest. The angle at which he touched your pussy changed, opening your world up to a wonderful new kind of pleasure.Â
âA virgin. Pretty young things like you ainât for men like me,â he whispered in your neck, making you shiver. His thumb roamed between your legs as far as they could reach, caressed you gently, his softness with you contradicting his warning about men like him. The hand around your neck slithered down your torso, cold air forcing you to face your new desire of having your breath kept hostage.Â
He took your left breast in hand, squeezing the flesh like someone starved would hold on to a piece of bread. It felt more like a punctuation to the warning he issued than a part of sex. Just then, his thumb between your legs stopped its search, stopping a little above the fingers inside you.
A moan you didnât recognize as yours at first filled the room and you buckled forward. Blunt nails sunk into the flesh of your breast as he saved you before you could fall. He hauled you back up, making you collide against his chest.Â
You gasped and quickly grabbed the hand between your legs, the sensation too intense for you to know what to do with. His thumb kept on, rolling over something there that set your person on fire.Â
âFuuuck! Joelâ Iâ Iâ hnnngââ
âI know, sweetheart,â he crooned, keeping at whatever the hell he was doing to make you feel this way.Â
âPlease⌠I donâtâ what was that?âÂ
You felt his chest rumble before you heard his laughter. Heat rose to your face and your throat felt strained though there was no hand around it anymore.Â
âNever touched your clit? Do you even know what that is?â He mocked, the cruelty somehow not repelling you from him. He forced you to look up at him. Your heart lurched at how close you were to his face. You could see every gray hair, every minute blemish and line.
âDonât know your own fucking body but you want a man? You donât know what youâre handing me on a silver platter. I ainât like the other guys in town. I walked across the fucking country and lemme tell ya, thereâs no pretty things like you out there. Iâm starved.âÂ
âTake me, then,â you begged, using his own words from earlier. âPlease. Whatever youâ a-aaah!âÂ
He ramped up the pressure on that spotâ your clitâ and with it, took your ability to speak coherently. It was as though heâd done it on purpose. You hated it. To be so bereft of control. To be a puppet in someoneâs hand. For someone to acquaint themselves with parts of you that you didnât know of. But it was too much to fight, so you let go. Let him play with you. Take you. Like a thing.
You renounced control of your lips too, his name slipping out effortlessly like it did when he caught you. Then you renounced what was left of your dignity and began begging relentlessly. For what, you didnât know. In his hand, youâd gone from woman to pupper, your strings pulled by a man, your voice now his. Sounds that would be indiscernible from that of a wounded animal emanated from somewhere deep within you.Â
Perhaps none of this was real. Why else did your own voice grow so distant from you? Why did your vision become blurry? Your thighs shook uncontrollably and your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. Your eyes clenched shut, depriving you of your blurred vision. Your toes curled. You wanted to shrink into yourself, shrink away from all this goodness. You went higher and higher, soaring like a bird. Every nerve ending in your body felt electrified, awoken like one switch turned on every light on last winterâs Christmas tree.Â
You let out a loud cry, the soaring bird in you reaching its peak before beginning its fall to the ground. You could hear your breaths again, labored but doing everything to stabilize itself. Your thighs still shook. Your chest rose and fell. A hand caressed your hand. Behind you, something strong supported your back. Kept you from falling backward.Â
âJoelâŚâÂ
âI know, I knowâŚâ he whispered into your head. You opened your eyes and looked up at him, surprised to see a softer visage. He picked you up off the chair like youâd seen him lift giant logs before. With ease. You didnât protest as he carried you. Didnât protest when he laid you out on your bed.Â
He bent down and picked something up. No questions, no instructions. He simply spread your leg away from the other. Cold air touched the gushing mess dripping out of you and you shivered, feeling a sudden need to cover yourself but unable to defy him. His hand was on your pussy again. His hardened, calloused fingers behind a soft fabric this time. He wiped upwards, collecting the mess he made out of you. When he lifted the fabric up, you realized it was your panties.Â
He tucked it into the pocket of his jeans and then looked back at your face, the intensity of his gaze making you want to run. Problem was your weak legs wouldnât take you anywhere. You didnât screw your eyes shut. You didnât pull your blanket to conceal yourself. You looked back at him, defiant. Like you were trying to prove something. I can handle a man like you.Â
âBe a good girl from now.âÂ
That and a condescending pat on your pussy and he was gone.
Iâm now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE
(you donât actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)
idkkkkk if itâs rly bully gojoâbut heâs definitely a real cunt for sure.
i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like heâs ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where heâs like âseriously ?? her ??â when heâs first paired with you. and heâs just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to âplease keep it down in the middle of classâ by wtv prof heâs in class with.
and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he canât be botheredâand on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job thatâs the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv iâll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u donât have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and thenâhe wouldnât care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like âhave fun with ur super hot dateâ that makes him roll his eyesâhe doesnât do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.
but thenâand he doesnât even know when it happensâyou start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how âif i had a voice like that iâd never laugh in publicâ and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they canât help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thoughtâyou just genuinely think heâs too incapable to help u out that youâve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. itâs an easy weekly lab class anyway, you donât need himâand then he realizes that u rly just donât care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc wellâŚheâs himâan asshole little frat boy and u didnât expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intriguedâmaybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. theyâre either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either worksâhe still gets the attention he craves.
but u just donât rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes itâŚand fuck, now heâs starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they donât need to talk about you. they donât even know youâŚbut alsoâŚ.its not a date. and thatâs the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almostâsometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes heâs even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and itâsâŚwell, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.
and then things start to get messyâreally, he didnât mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because heâs actually started pulling his weightâhe wants u to see him for someone whoâs smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesnât rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of himâsomehow thereâs some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing heâs not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routineâsometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes itâs âdid u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??â and sometimes itâs âgod our prof rly needs to get some pussyâ and other times itâs âlook what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his storyâ and it leads to a few long convos that admittedlyâŚare rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybeâŚ.maybe heâs grown on u too and you know what ?? satoruâs always a jerk but ur nice and whoâs to say he canât be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guyâu carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.
until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being âthe manâ around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u donât wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for âsome nerdy chick whoâs a nobody.â so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably âstill a virgin whoâs never touched a guy beforeâ and then theyâre patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that âyâknow what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.â
the thought is sickening becauseâŚsatoru wouldnât want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks youâin fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. youâre more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesnât know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the otherâand oh no, now theyâre betting on how quickly he can do itâŚ.and oh, now itâs not just fucking. now itâs âhow long until you think sheâs head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??â
andâŚ.well, satoru decides it couldnât hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesnât rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. heâll treat you wellâthat much heâs confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says âgimme a month or two, youâll see.â
and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takesâbut not for you to be head over heels. itâs him whoâs utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like heâs some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know ofâlike you hope it stays that way and that heâs yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines heâs prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.
he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when heâs around you. actually, he forgets everything when heâs around you. heâs only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, theyâre all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you mustâve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone youâre not bc the real you would never pique his interest.
theyâre wrong ofc. if anyoneâs star struck, itâs satoru bc how the hell are u soâŚcool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and youâre good at kissingâhave him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. heâs the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if heâs alright. but the real kicker ?? itâs that if anyoneâs pretending, itâs satoru. youâre always just youâunapologetically so, that itâs endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? heâs always acting like some guy heâs not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy whoâs deserving.
heâs not thatânever was. if you knew the real him, youâd leave in a heartbeat. itâs a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesnât like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought heâd feel.
he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with youâbut thatâs stupid. thatâs naive. itâs been 4 months and enough is enoughâthe guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is âbeing a lazy ass whoâs too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.â so then thereâs a video going around. itâs everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how itâs been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! itâs so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like youâre some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agreesâyouâre nothing special and he canât wait until heâs free of you.
that part hurts. that part sucks the mostâwhen he acts like he didnât tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didnât beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and whatâs worse ?? you donât know which one is real. couldnât tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because thereâs no way heâs that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but thereâs also no way he can be in love if heâs talking about you like that. thatâs not what love isâthatâs not what love feels like. thatâs not what it means to someone.
you donât know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he canât stick to it.
itâs terrible thingâthe way you break up. itâs messy and teary and heâs begging, heâs actually begging. he never thought heâd do that. but he doesnât even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please donât walk awayâplease just listen! i can explain.
he canât explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just ⌠ignore it like itâs nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like youâre nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and thatâs why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worseâŚ.every ounce of your love.
such deep, raw, pure loveâitâs almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.
you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.
âitâs embarrassing, satoru,â you hiss that night through tears, âyouâre in your twenties getting a degree and youâre still just a high school bully. lifeâs really gonna kick you in the ass some day.â
lifeâs already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesnât taste as good and fuckâthere is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when thereâs no you.
but he supposes youâre right thoughâhe is just a bully. itâs pathetic, really. and maybe itâs for the best. maybe you donât deserve someone whoâs only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesnât.
Summary: the public reacts to the TikTok challenge you and Charles inadvertently participated in
Read So Good to Me (about the TikTok challenge) here
The TikTok that the British influencer posted of his encounter with you and your incredibly generous boyfriend quickly goes viral, racking up millions of views, likes, and comments within mere hours.
It spreads like wildfire across social media platforms, with people sharing it on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook â even LinkedIn of all places. Everyone marvels at this mystery woman with the boyfriend of all boyfriends who casually sent her âŹ10,000 just to buy a pair of shoes.
In a cozy London flat, a group of university students and diehard Charles fans gather around a laptop, eyes wide as they watch the now-viral video for the umpteenth time.
âI canât believe Charles has a secret girlfriend!â Megan, a petite blonde wearing a red Ferrari cap, exclaims. âHow did we not know about this? We follow his every move!â
Her best friend Ethan nods in agreement, his brow furrowed. âSeriously, who is this girl? Sheâs drop dead gorgeous and apparently Charles is just casually sending her 10 grand for shopping sprees?â
âOkay but like, goals though,â Lexi chimes in dreamily, clutching a Charles Leclerc poster to her chest. âImagine having a boyfriend whoâs not only mega hot and talented but also spoils you rotten. Sheâs living the dream.â
Ethan scoffs and rolls his eyes. âOh come on, he canât just throw money around like that. I bet this whole thing was staged for clout.â
Megan shoots him a withering glare. âDonât be ridiculous. What would be the point? Charles is already one of the most popular drivers on the grid, he doesnât need to pull PR stunts for attention.â
âPlus did you see the way he talked to her on the phone?â Lexi points out, rewinding the video. âThat was not acting, that was real love and affection in his voice. Iâm so soft for them already, ugh.â
The trio falls silent as they watch the clip again, zeroing in on every little detail and facial expression from both Charlesâ mystery girlfriend and the clearly shocked TikToker.
Ethan chuckles and shakes his head. âI still canât get over her reaction though. Just a guy who loves driving fast cars â I mean, the cheek! She really knows how to keep a secret, gotta give her that.â
âAn icon, honestly,â Megan declares. âThe fact that she told him to donate the money to an animal shelter too ... okay, I canât even be mad. She seems like a sweet person.â
Lexi sighs happily, starry-eyed. âTheyâre literally a power couple. The sheer confidence and BDE of it all. Iâm so jealous but also like, rooting for them? We have to find out who this girl is!â
As if on cue, Meganâs phone pings with a Twitter notification. Her eyes widen as she swipes to view it. âGuys. GUYS. The TikToker just confirmed her first name is Y/N and posted another video with a few more details about her!â
âWell donât just sit there, play it!â Ethan demands, practically launching himself across the couch to peer over Meganâs shoulder at her phone screen. Lexi scrambles to join them, bouncing with anticipation.
In the new clip, the TikToker is grinning excitedly at the camera, an extra bounce in his step as he walks along the same Monaco street where he first approached you.
âRight, so Iâm sure by now youâve all seen my video with Charles Leclercâs girlfriend go absolutely mental viral,â he begins, running a hand through his artfully tousled hair. âWhich, can I just say â thank you so much for the insane support and love, you lot are the best fans ever.â
âGet to the point,â Ethan mutters under his breath, earning a sharp âShh!â from both girls.
âAnyway,â the TikToker continues. âAfter she left and I finally picked my jaw up off the floor, I did some digging. I headed to that little boutique she mentioned in the call with Charles, just to see if she actually went in and bought anything. Thought maybe if I asked the staff, they might be able to give me some more info, you know?â
Megan, Ethan, and Lexi all subconsciously lean closer to the small phone screen, hanging on to his every word.
âSo get this â not only did she buy the shoes, she apparently also went next door and purchased, and I quote, a frankly alarming amount of lingerie. The cashier said she dropped over 5 grand like it was nothing!â
Lexi lets out a scandalized gasp as Ethan chokes on his sip of Red Bull. Megan just shakes her head in wonderment. âThe actual legend,â she murmurs reverently.
The TikToker laughs and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at the camera. âI donât know about you lot, but Iâm definitely sensing some spicy thank you for the shopping money activities were planned for a certain Ferrari driver, if you know what I mean. Get in there, Charles!â
âGross, I so did not need that visual,â Ethan grumbles, but thereâs a slight smirk playing on his lips all the same.
âOh shut up, as if you wouldnât do the exact same if you were dating Charles,â Lexi retorts with a playful shove to his shoulder.
âANYWAY,â the TikToker presses on, âI did manage to squeeze a few more details out of the lovely shop girl. Apparently Charlesâ girlfriend is named Y/N, no last name given for privacy reasons. But sheâs a regular customer and, I quote, an absolute sweetheart who only ever has glowing things to say about her man. So there you have it, folks â Y/N and Charles are the real deal and weâre all just peasants watching a fairytale unfold.â
Megan sighs dreamily as the video ends. âY/N and Charles,â she repeats to herself, already typing the names into her social media search bars. âGod, even their names sound good together. I have to find out everything about her.â
âDibs on making their ship name hashtag go viral,â Lexi calls out, already furiously typing away on her own phone.
Ethan snorts and rolls his eyes affectionately at his friends, but thereâs no denying the small, reluctantly impressed smile tugging at the corners of his mouth too. âI give it two days before theyâre papped together on some glamorous date night now that the secretâs out. Hope sheâs ready for the attention dating an F1 star brings.â
âWith that level of confidence and the way Charles clearly adores her? I think our girl Y/N will handle the spotlight just fine,â Megan says confidently.
Lexi nods in firm agreement. âYep, a true queen. Charles better lock that down and wife her up real quick before one of us tries to snatch her for ourselves!â
***
In a cozy apartment not far from the very street where you had your memorable encounter with the TikToker, three young women huddle around a laptop screen, eyes wide and jaws slack as they watch the now viral video for the umpteenth time.
âI canât believe this,â mutters Isabelle, a pretty brunette with an impressively encyclopedic knowledge of Formula 1 stats. âCharles has a girlfriend? Since when?â
âAnd he just sent her âŹ10,000 like it was nothing!â Exclaims Maia, nervously twirling a strand of her platinum blonde hair. âI mean, I know heâs loaded but holy shit, the way he spoils her ...â
The third girl, Claire, bites her lip, a pensive look on her delicate features. âDid you hear what she said at the end though? Just a guy who loves driving fast cars. She was obviously talking about Charles. But the way she said it, all mysterious and like it was some inside joke ... I donât know, it just rubs me the wrong way.â
Isabelle scoffs and rolls her eyes. âPlease, she was totally gloating. Didnât even have the decency to act a little humble about the fact that THE Charles Leclerc is apparently head over heels for her.â
âExactly!â Maia chimes in, nodding vigorously. âLike okay, congrats, you bagged a hot, rich, famous race car driver. No need to rub it in the rest of our faces.â
Claire wrinkles her nose. âI just donât get the vibe that she actually cares about him, you know? I mean, who asks their boyfriend to send them money in the middle of the day for some stupid shoes? While heâs working? She seems like such a gold digger.â
âUgh, youâre so right,â Isabelle agrees, her lips curling in distaste. âPoor Charles is probably blind to it because heâs so gone for her. He didnât even hesitate to transfer that money!â
Maia sighs dramatically and falls back on the bed. âGod, itâs so unfair. Why canât I find a man whoâs that generous and totally obsessed with me? Iâd treat him so much better than she does, you can already tell.â
Claire hums and taps her chin thoughtfully. âYou know what, I think this smells fishy. How do we even know sheâs actually Charlesâ girlfriend? For all we know, she could have paid some guy who sounds like him to play along for a TikTok clout.â
Isabelleâs eyes narrow as she considers this possibility. âThatâs true ... I havenât come across any photos of them together or anything. Why has no one ever seen her before if theyâre supposedly so in love?â
âExactly!â Claire exclaims, growing more animated. âIâve been a Charles fan for years and Iâve never seen or heard anything about a girlfriend. If theyâre really dating, thereâs no way it wouldnât have come out before now.â
Maia sits up, suddenly energized by this new conspiracy theory. âOh my god, youâre right! Sheâs probably just some wannabe influencer trying to get famous by pretending to be with Charles. Thatâs so pathetic.â
Isabelle nods slowly, a determined glint in her eye. âYou know what? We should do some digging. Try to find out who this girl really is and expose her for the fraud she clearly is. Charles and the world deserve to know the truth.â
âYesss, Iâm so down for an investigation!â Maia says gleefully. âImagine if weâre the ones who reveal that this whole thing is fake. Weâd be doing Charles a huge favor.â
Claire is already pulling up Instagram and Twitter on her phone. âLetâs start by going through the comments on that TikTok and seeing if anyone has identified her or posted any receipts. There have to be some clues somewhere.â
The girls spend the next few hours poring over social media, searching for any scrap of information they can find about the mystery woman who has supposedly captured Charles Leclercâs heart. They work themselves into a frenzy, convincing each other more and more that you canât possibly be Charlesâ real girlfriend. In their minds, youâre clearly just an opportunistic clout chaser looking for your 15 minutes of fame.
âGod, I hope Charles sees through her act soon,â Isabelle says for the hundredth time, shaking her head. âHeâs too good for some two-bit gold digger whoâs just using him.â
âWeâll make sure he finds out who she really is,â Claire assures her firmly. âAnd then heâll have no choice but to dump her lying ass.â
Maia sighs wistfully, hugging a throw pillow to her chest. âDo you think once heâs single again, I might actually have a chance? Like, if I run into him at a race one day and strike up a conversation, maybe heâll realize Iâm the girl heâs meant to be with ...â
âOkay, letâs not get ahead of ourselves,â Claire says with a laugh. âFirst step is taking down this fraud of a girlfriend. Then we can daydream about being Mrs. Leclerc.â
The girls giggle and go back to their social media sleuthing with renewed determination. Theyâve decided youâre public enemy number one and they wonât rest until theyâve exposed you for the fake, money-hungry, clout-chasing liar theyâre certain you must be. In their eyes, theyâre crusaders for truth, fighting to save their beloved Charles from your clutches.
What they donât realize, of course, is just how very real and very deep Charlesâ feelings for you actually are ... and that youâre not going anywhere anytime soon, Internet conspiracy theories be damned.
***
In a dimly lit basement somewhere in Italy, a group of die-hard Charles Leclerc fans huddle around a computer screen, their jaws dropping as they watch the video for the umpteenth time.
âGuys, are you seeing this shit?â Enzo, the self-appointed leader of the group, asks incredulously. âWho the hell is this girl and how did she bag Charles freakinâ Leclerc?â
âDude, we donât even know for sure that itâs actually Charles,â Giovanni points out skeptically. âShe never said his name. It could be some other rich dude with a fast car.â
Enzo scoffs and rolls his eyes. âOh come on, who else could it be? âŹ10,000 like itâs nothing, is it possible that Leclerc has a secret girlfriend we donât know about all this time? A guy who likes driving fast cars? Itâs obviously Charles! Our boy is LOADED and thatâs exactly how heâd spoil his girl.â
Luca nods in agreement, a dreamy expression on his face. âGod, can you imagine being with Charles though? Having him call you all those cute pet names and just showering you with love and gifts? Iâd fucking die.â
âYeah, she has to be the luckiest woman on the planet,â Enzo sighs wistfully. âI mean, Iâm straight, but even Iâd let Charles ruin me, you know what Iâm saying?â
The other guys murmur and nod in emphatic agreement, all of them momentarily lost in a fantasy of being Charles Leclercâs pampered significant other.
âOkay but like, how is this even fair?â Giovanni gripes, breaking the spell. âThe rest of us mere mortals are out here busting our asses on Tinder and Hinge, praying a decent girl will swipe right, and Charles just gets to date a literal goddess who is probably a model?â
âLife isnât fair, Gio,â Enzo says solemnly. âCharles is on a completely different level. He could have any woman he wants and theyâd all say yes before he even finished asking. The rules donât apply to a guy like that.â
Luca suddenly sits up straight, his eyes widening with realization. âHoly shit, guys. Do you know what this means? If Charles is taken, thatâs one less F1 driver on the market for all those grid girl groupies to throw themselves at! Maybe the rest of us actually have a chance now!â
Giovanni snorts derisively. âYeah, you wish. Those chicks are still gonna be busy trying to get with Sainz or Verstappen or Norris. Theyâre not gonna settle for some nobody Ferrari fan. Letâs be real.â
âWow, way to kill the vibe, Debbie Downer,â Luca mutters. He turns back to the computer and hits replay on the video, watching enviously as the TikToker clearly shows the âŹ10,000 bank transfer on your phone. âSeriously though, how is this chick not freaking the fuck out? If Charles Leclerc randomly sent me 10 grand Iâd be screaming and probably pass out.â
âSheâs probably used to it,â Enzo says with a shrug. âI bet this is like, a regular Tuesday for her. Just casually strolling around Monaco, stopping into designer stores whenever she feels like it, Charlesâ black credit card weighing down her Hermès purse. The bougiest of WAG lives.â
âGod, what I wouldnât give to trade places with her for just one day,â Giovanni says longingly. âCan you imagine getting to wake up next to Charles every morning? Having him make you breakfast and give you forehead kisses and tell you how much he loves you in that sexy accent?â
âOkay, now youâre just torturing yourself, bro,â Luca laughs. âYouâll be lucky if you can get a Tinder match to agree to split the bill at McDonalds.â
âWhy you gotta bring me back to my sad reality like that?â Giovanni groans, chucking a throw pillow at Lucaâs head. âLet me live vicariously through Charlesâ bougie mystery girlfriend for a little while longer, damn.â
Enzo sighs and leans back in his chair, hands behind his head. âYou know what the craziest part of all this is? The fact that Charles managed to keep a whole ass girlfriend hidden from the world. Like, the media has been speculating about his love life forever and no one had a clue he was actually in a serious relationship. That man moves in silence like a ninja.â
âYeah, and did you see how he just casually threw out that he loves her?â Luca gushes. âHe was all I love spoiling you, you deserve the world. My dude is head over heels for this girl and I am LIVING for it.â
âUgh, why canât I find a man like that?â Giovanni whines dramatically. âAll I want is a guy who will write me cute Instagram captions in three languages and buy out the Gucci store for me but I guess thatâs too much to ask!â
âMaybe if you stanned Charles harder, the universe would reward you,â Enzo snarks. âStart leaving thirsty comments on his shirtless pics, see if that manifests your dream F1 boyfriend.â
âBold of you to assume I donât already do that,â Giovanni retorts with a smirk. âHow else do you think Oscar Piastri ended up in my DMs last night?â
âWait, WHAT?â Luca and Enzo exclaim in unison, whipping their heads around to gape at their friend.
Giovanni bursts out laughing at their shocked faces. âIâm just kidding, jeez! You think Iâd be sitting here listening to you losers if Oscar freaking Piastri actually messaged me? Puh-lease.â
âMan, donât even joke about that,â Enzo grumbles, clutching at his heart. âYou really had me going there for a sec.â
Luca huffs and slouches down in his seat. âCan we get back to being jealous of Charlesâ sugar baby girlfriend now? I was enjoying that more than whatever the hell this conversation turned into.â
âSheâs not his sugar baby!â Enzo argues. âTheyâre clearly in love! Did we watch the same video? The way he talked to her was mad cute. Thatâs his GIRL girl.â
âYouâre right, youâre right,â Luca concedes, holding his hands up in apology. âCharles might spoil her but he obviously adores her for more than just her looks. Thatâs the real relationship goals right there.â
âImagine being so secure in your love that you can just ball out on your partner like that and know itâs only going to make them love you more,â Giovanni muses. âCannot relate.â
Enzo nods sagely. âCharles is just built different, man. In more ways than one.â
âTruer words have never been spoken,â Luca agrees. âSo, are we watching this video another 50 times or are we moving on to the Grill the Grid compilation I found of all of Charlesâ most adorably flustered moments?â
Enzo grins maniacally and reaches for the mouse. âOh, you know weâre watching the hell out of this absolute gift again. And then weâre gonna spend the next three hours cyberstalking Charles and seeing if we can find any other crumbs about who this legendary mystery woman is. For research purposes.â
âThis is the most productive thing weâve done in months and Iâm not even ashamed,â Giovanni declares, cracking his knuckles in preparation for the intense social media deep dive theyâre about to undertake.
***
In a crowded sports bar in Dublin, a group of die-hard Ferrari fans gather to watch the latest race. But today, thereâs another bit of F1-related content that has their attention. They huddle around a phone, repeatedly watching the now-infamous TikTok video.
âCan you believe it? âŹ10,000 just like that!â Exclaims James, a tall, lanky guy with a mop of curly hair. âI mean, I knew Charles was loaded but damn ...â
âForget the money, did you see his girlfriend?â Tom, a stocky redhead, chimes in. âAbsolutely stunning. Like, how does a race car driver land a girl like that?â
Mark, a quieter guy with glasses, rolls his eyes. âUh, maybe because heâs Charles freaking Leclerc? The manâs a beast on the track and has the face of a Greek god. Girls probably throw themselves at him left and right.â
The guys all mutter in begrudging agreement, a note of envy coloring their voices. On screen, the video replays yet again, showing you confidently calling up your boyfriend and securing the small fortune without batting an eye.
âGod, what I wouldnât give to have a woman look at me the way she probably looks at Leclerc,â Tom sighs wistfully.
âIn your dreams, mate,â James scoffs. âGirls like that are way out of our league. We canât compete with a Ferrari paycheck and Monaco real estate.â
âStill doesnât seem fair though,â grumbles Mark. âThe dudeâs already got it all â talent, fame, money. Leave some for the rest of us!â
On screen, the video reaches the part where you coolly inform the gobsmacked TikToker that you donât need his measly âŹ2,000 and he should donate it to an animal shelter instead. The guys let out low whistles, clearly impressed by your classy move.
âSee, that right there, thatâs what separates the Monegasque princess types from regular girls,â says James with an air of authority. âWe wouldâve taken the cash in a heartbeat.â
âSpeak for yourself, Iâm a man of principle,â Tom jokes, puffing out his chest exaggeratedly. The others snort and shove him playfully.
As the video ends, the guys sit back, each lost in their own wistful imaginings of what it must be like to be Charles Leclerc. To have the money, success, and effortless charm to win over a girl like you.
Mark is the first to break the contemplative silence. âMaybe weâre looking at this all wrong,â he muses thoughtfully. âI mean yeah, Charles is a lucky bastard, no doubt. But that girl, she seems like a real catch too. Like the kind of person whoâd keep you humble and grounded, even when youâre a superstar athlete with the world at your feet.â
The others consider this, nodding slowly. âFair point,â concedes Tom. âBehind every great man and all that jazz. Leclerc may have his millions but he still needs someone to call him out on his BS from time to time.â
âExactly,â agrees Mark. âAnd did you hear the way he spoke to her on the phone? The dudeâs completely smitten. He may have all the money and fame, but I bet sheâs the real prize in his eyes.â
âAlright, alright, settle down Dr. Phil,â James interjects with a good-natured eye roll. âYou gonna start writing romance novels in your spare time now? Maybe theyâll make a movie â The Tifosi Who Loved Me: A Charles Leclerc Story.â
The guys all crack up laughing at that, the tension broken. Their envy towards Leclercâs charmed life remains, but itâs now tinged with a newfound respect and even a touch of empathy.
âYâknow, jokes aside, I do hope he realizes how lucky he is to have her and treats her right,â Mark says sincerely as their chuckles subside. âA love like that seems rare these days.â
Tom reaches over to clap Mark on the shoulder. âNo worries, mate. Did you see the dopey grin on Charlesâ face in those paparazzi pics of them together that came out earlier? That man is whipped with a capital W. He knows heâs got a keeper.â
âAs he should,â nods James sagely. âBehind every great Ferrari champion is an even greater woman keeping his ego in check. Tale as old as time.â
On that note, the guys clink their pint glasses together, silently saluting the unnamed woman who stole the heart of Charles Leclerc and the envious admiration of Formula 1 fans worldwide. The mystery girlfriend with impeccable style and a heart of gold.
As the pre-race coverage starts up on the bar TV, the guys settle in to cheer on their favorite driver, their fleeting jealousy replaced by the camaraderie and excitement of race day. But in the back of their minds, a single wistful thought remains â what they wouldnât give to find a love like Charles and his girl seem to share. Guess thatâs just one more thing to add to the list of reasons to idolize Charles Leclerc.
***
Among the hordes of viewers obsessively replaying the clip are three best friends gathered for a girls night at a posh Parisian penthouse. Colette, the willowy blonde draped across a velvet chaise lounge, takes a sip of her champagne and shakes her head in wonder.
âGod, can you imagine having a boyfriend who just casually drops 10k on you like itâs nothing? Talk about relationship goals,â she sighs dreamily.
Next to her, Nadia snorts derisively while scrolling through Instagram on her phone. âOh please, like thatâs hard to find. I bet loads of rich guys would do that for their girlfriends. Itâs not that impressive.â
From her perch on a tufted ottoman, Stephanie raises a skeptical eyebrow. âReally? You think Liam would send you that kind of cash without batting an eye? Mr. I-Need-To-Check-With-My-Financial-Advisor-Before-I-Buy-A-New-Tie?â
Colette erupts into giggles at the scathing impression of Nadiaâs banker boyfriend. Even Nadia cracks a reluctant smile before tossing her sleek dark hair.
âWhatever. Iâm just saying, that TikTok chickâs boyfriend canât be THAT special. Iâm sure if we did the same challenge our boyfriends would come through too,â she declares with more than a hint of competitiveness in her voice.
âOooh yes, letâs do it! Letâs recreate the video and see what happens!â Colette squeals, bouncing up and down on the chaise with excitement.
Stephanie, ever the voice of reason, looks uncertain. âI donât know, guys ... isnât it a bit tacky to demand money from them like that? What if they get mad?â
Nadia rolls her eyes. âOh come on Steph, live a little! Itâs just a silly experiment. Whereâs your sense of adventure?â
âOkay, okay fine,â Stephanie relents, unable to resist her friendsâ cajoling. âBut Iâm blaming you both if Omer breaks up with me over this!â
âDeal!â Colette grins impishly as she grabs her phone. âIâll go first â let me call Henry and weâll see if heâs as generous as Mystery Monaco Man.â
With a deep breath, she dials her property developer boyfriend and launches into her rehearsed plea as soon as he picks up. âBaby!â She whines. âYouâll never believe what happened. Iâm out with the girls and my Louboutins broke! Like the heel just totally snapped off. Iâm absolutely gutted, these were my faves. Is there any way you could send some money to my account so I can grab a new pair on the way home? Pleeeaaase, Iâll love you forever!â
Thereâs a heavy pause before Henryâs clipped voice comes through, tinged with annoyance. âChrist, again with the bloody shoes? What is it with you women and wasting my hard earned money on bits of leather you donât need? Canât you just take the broken ones to get fixed?â
Coletteâs perfectly glossed pout trembles, her blue eyes shining with disappointed tears as Nadia and Stephanie look on in pity. âNever mind,â she mumbles. âForget I asked. Chat later.â She hangs up and flings her phone down despondently.
âWhat an ass,â Nadia spits. âYou deserve so much better.â Colette shrugs sadly but rallies as she turns to Stephanie expectantly.
âOkay Steph, your turn to give Omer a ring! Letâs hope he restores our faith in rich boyfriends everywhere.â
Stephanie grimaces but dutifully calls her Qatar-based hedge fund manager beau. In her most saccharine voice, she makes her case. âHabibi, you know that gorgeous YSL bag I showed you last week? It finally came back in stock but only for today! Could you maybe pop some cash in my account so I can treat myself? Iâve been working so hard lately and-â
âWallahi Stephanie, how many handbags does one woman need?â Omer cuts her off irritably. âIf I buy you this one, I donât want to hear any more whining for designer things for at least 6 months, got it? Iâll send you 500 euros, that should more than cover it.â
âOh. Right. Thanks, I guess ...â Stephanie replies glumly before ending the call. She shakes her head at her friends. âWell, itâs something at least?â
âHardly,â Nadia scoffs. âThese men, I swear. Okay, time for me to show you girls how itâs done. Watch and learn, ladies.â
With a confident smirk, she video calls Liam who answers distractedly, clearly still at the office despite the late hour. âThis better be important Nadia, Iâm right in the middle of-â
âLiam. Focus,â Nadia cuts him off crisply. âI need you to send âŹ10,000 to my account right now. No questions asked.â She arches a commanding eyebrow, daring him to argue.
Liam just blinks at her for a moment before letting out an incredulous laugh. âIâm sorry, you need me to do what now? 10 grand, are you mad? For what possible reason?â
âTo prove you love me,â Nadia retorts smugly. âI saw this thing on TikTok, some girlâs boyfriend sent her-â
âOh for fuckâs sake,â Liam interrupts. âIâm not one of your little social media playthings to manipulate for views, Nadia. My money is not a toy. Iâll buy you a thoughtful gift for your birthday next month, but Iâm not in the business of flinging cash at you for no reason. Now if youâll excuse me, some of us have real work to do. Goodnight.â
With that he abruptly ends the call, leaving Nadia staring at the blank screen, a red flush of embarrassment and anger creeping up her elegant neck. Stephanie and Colette exchange knowing looks.
âSo ⌠that went well,â Stephanie quips sarcastically.
Colette sighs morosely as she flops back onto the chaise, hugging a silk pillow. âMaybe that girlâs boyfriend really is one of a kind. God, I bet she feels like the luckiest woman alive. Can you even imagine being THAT loved and adored?â
Nadia seems to deflate, her bravado evaporating. âNo,â she whispers. âI canât. Youâre right, Col. Mystery Monaco Man is clearly in a league of his own. I bet he makes her feel like an absolute queen every damn day.â
Stephanie nods thoughtfully, twirling a lock of hair. âYou know what though? Good for her. She seems lovely and down-to-earth in the video. If anyone deserves that fairy tale romance, itâs a girl like that who doesnât even realize how special it is.â
âUgh, so true. god Iâm depressed now,â Colette groans, reaching for the champagne bottle to refill her glass. âTo Mystery Monaco Man â may he set the standard for rich boyfriends everywhere. And to the girl whoâs lucky enough to love him â may she live happily ever after and never take a single moment for granted.â
âHear, hear,â Nadia and Stephanie chorus, clinking their glasses against Coletteâs.
As the bubbles fizz on their tongues, the wistful faraway looks in their eyes betray the same thought â what they wouldnât give to trade places with you for just a day, to know what it feels like to be cherished so completely by a man like Charles. To them, youâre living the ultimate dream.
If only they knew the best part isnât the extravagant gestures or lavish gifts.
Itâs the little moments. The soft kisses pressed to your temple. The fingers intertwined with yours. The sleepy smiles over morning coffee. The shared laughter and inside jokes. The unwavering support and unconditional acceptance. The bone-deep feeling of safety and coming home.
Thatâs the real fairy tale. And no amount of money could ever buy it.
***
Back in Monaco, Lando Norris slouches comfortably in his gaming chair, eyes glued to the triple monitors in front of him. Heâs meant to be reviewing telemetry data in preparation for the upcoming race weekend, but the notification chime from his phone proves far too tempting. Lando picks up the device, fully intending to only glance at it for a second before dutifully returning to his work.
But then he sees it â the TikTok that at least a dozen people have sent to him in the past hour alone. Curiosity piqued, Lando clicks on the video and watches intently, his brows steadily rising towards his hairline with each passing second.
âWait, is that ...â he mutters to himself as the clip plays out. When your boyfriendâs voice comes through the speakers, Landoâs eyes bug out comically. âHoly shit, it is Charles! And Y/N!â
A knock on the door makes Lando jump slightly. Before he can respond, a familiar mop of tousled chestnut hair pokes into the room. âHey mate, did you see-â Max Verstappen starts to say.
âThe TikTok of Charles simping hard for Y/N? Yup, watching it right now,â Lando finishes for him, eyes still glued to his phone screen in fascination.
Max invites himself into the room fully and flops down on the couch. âAbsolutely crazy, right? Who just casually sends their girlfriend 10k for a random pair of shoes?â
Lando snorts. âCertainly not you, you stingy Dutchman,â he ribs playfully. Max chucks a throw pillow at him in retaliation.
âHey, even I splurge on my girlfriend sometimes!â Max protests. âI just bought her ... erm ...â He racks his brain trying to remember the last lavish gift he purchased unprompted.
âA six-pack of Sugar Free Red Bull last week?â Lando supplies dryly.
â... Shut up.â
The two dissolve into snickers before turning their attention back to the TikTok, which has now looped to the beginning again.
âCharles is so whipped for Y/N,â Max observes, shaking his head in amused disbelief. âHeâs just asking to get taken advantage of, throwing money around like that.â
âI think itâs kinda sweet,â Lando admits with a shrug. âHe just wants to make her happy. Donât act like you wouldnât do the same if your girl asked!â
Max scoffs. âWhat, fall victim to a gold digger? No thanks mate.â
âY/Nâs hardly a gold digger and you know it,â Lando chides. âShe works hard for her own money and buys plenty of expensive gifts for Charles too. They just like spoiling each other âcause theyâre in luuurve.â He draws out the last word in a silly voice, making dramatic kissy faces.
âYeah, yeah, true love and all that sappy bullshit,â Max says dismissively, though thereâs no real heat behind it. âIâm just saying, no way in hell Iâm sending 10k on command for a pair of fucking shoes!â
Lando hums thoughtfully. âI would.â
Maxâs head whips around to stare at him incredulously. âYou what.â
âIf it was the right girl? Sure, Iâd do it,â Lando says nonchalantly. âMaybe not for something frivolous like shoes, but if my girlfriend called me up and said she needed 10k transferred ASAP? Iâd do it, no questions asked. You gotta have that level of trust.â
Clearly torn between wanting to take the piss out of his friend and feeling a reluctant sort of respect, Max just grunts noncommittally in response before turning back to rewatch the clip once more.
Debate rages online among the fans about the cute interaction. Most find the whole thing adorably romantic, cooing over what a doting and generous boyfriend Charles is. They swoon at the obvious love and care between you two, speculating excitedly in the comments about when Charles might pop the question.
Others are more cynical, rolling their eyes at Charles âsimpingâ so hard and accusing you of only dating the Ferrari driver for his money. However, these naysayers are quickly drowned out and ratioâd by your legions of adoring supporters.
Through it all, you and Charles pay the speculation little mind, blissfully wrapped up in your fairytale romance.
Charles returns home that evening to the mouthwatering aroma of his favorite pesto pasta dish wafting from the kitchen. He grins when he spots you at the stove, swaying your hips to the sultry jazz music playing from the speaker as you stir the sauce. Quietly, he comes up behind you and slips his strong arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to your temple.
âMmm, smells amazing,â he murmurs appreciatively.
You turn in his embrace and loop your arms around his neck, smiling radiantly up at him. âWelcome home, Cha-Cha,â you greet him, using the silly pet name that never fails to make him chuckle and scrunch his nose adorably. âDinnerâs almost ready.â
âAnd whatâs for dessert?â Charles asks with a playful waggle of his eyebrows.
Biting your lip coyly, you untangle yourself from his arms and saunter off towards the bedroom. âCome find out after we eat. Oh, and I picked up a little something special to express my gratitude for earlier ...â you call over your shoulder with a wink.
Charlesâ megawatt grin could power all of Monaco for a year. Viral TikTok or not, the Monegasque knows heâs already the luckiest man in the world to have you as his partner through this crazy ride called life.
No amount of money could ever compare to the joy of being loved by you.
If possible, when you are feeling better and up to it, writing some aquatic monster smut (mermaid-like or octopus-like)??
Ps love your writing I look forward to seeing more đ
Thank you for your kind words! It means a lot. I chose sea-monster as an octopus-like creature, hope that's okay. I was thinking some kind of half-octopus, half-human. Something like Ursula from The Little Mermaid but like⌠male and hot? I hope you like this, and Iâm very sorry for how long it took me to get to it. đĽ°
A good girl at the seaside
Sea-monster x fem!reader || tentacles, praise kink, forced orgasm, overstimulation
You were floating on the beach, still not believing your luck. A weird lady at the inn recommended you the most precious little beach and there was nobody around, it was completely deserted. You spent some time at the shore, basking under the sun with your bikini on, before you said fuck it, and chose to take off your bikini completely. The sun felt marvelous against your naked skin, and not having any tan lines was also a pro. You didn't want to get caught, but deep down you felt a spark of heat at the thought of someone observing your naked form. Someplace inside of you, there was an exhibitionist wanting to come out.
Floating in the water felt like a warm caress against your overheated skin, the sea salt making your body tickle, and your nakedness making you feel naughty. After a while, you felt your fingers pruning. You got back to the sand, laying down flat on your towel, the sun tickling your back and warming your skin. It was wonderful.
"What do we have here? A pretty human gift?" A raspy voice said from behind you. You screamed and tried to turn around.
"What the-?" You didn't finish that thought. A slimy something pressed at your lower back, pushing your body down and stopping you from turning to see who it was. Was that a tentacle? It felt like it. What the fuck. "Let me go!" You tried to scratch the tentacle, push it away from you, but more joined the first one, ascending the back of your thighs, sending shivers up your spine. Some grabbed your arms and pinned them down. Another pair grabbed your ankles and pushed your legs apart. You were completely exposed and trapped under some talkative tentacle monster.
"What a pretty pussy... We are going to have fun, aren't we?" The creature behind you said, a tentacle following a path to your center. You shivered involuntarily.
"What? No!" You tried to break free and turn around, but it was fruitless. The tentacles holding you down were way too heavy, had too much force for you to move.
"Hmm?" He made a sound of utter confusion. "You don't want to? But the lady said she sent me a present. And you are in my beachâŚ"
"What are you talking about?! I don't even know who you are! What you are!" You screamed over your shoulder, still pinned to the ground, your breathing irregular with exertion of trying to get free. You tried really hard to bury the shiver of anticipation under your skin, the wetness pooling at your pussy⌠The slimy feeling of his tentacles against your heated skin felt wonderful, but you knew you didnât want it. Right?
"Oh, my bad." His voice sounded completely dejected, like you offended him with your rejection. He sounded sad, and you hated that it made your heart ache for him. He was trying to tentacle-fuck you without even asking first, you shouldnât be feeling sorry for him⌠But yet, you felt it. The tentacles holding you down disappeared, and you turned around completely.
He was some kind of sea creature, his upper half looked humanoid, his features flat, but handsome in a weird way. His skin looked wet and shiny, super smooth, like a fish. But his lower body wasn't human, it was a mess of tentacles that looked octopus-like, suckers included. You felt more heat rising inside your body, pooling in your lower abdomen and making your body flush. You wanted to blame the scalding sun, but you knew that it wasnât the reason. You felt things for tentacles. You were a sucker for them (pun intended). Your heat had nothing to do with the sun, and everything to so with the otherworldly creature in front of you.
He was turning away from you, approaching the water and taking those enticing tentacles with him. Fuck no. "Wait!" You screamed at him before he touched the water.
He turned around, his sad eyes confused again. "You said you didn't want me."
"I- I know." You tried to think of a fast answer. "I- I was wrong." Wrong? What the fuck was wrong with you, that was the real question there. He tried to grope you with his tentacles, he did grope you, and you? You were asking him to come back and do it with intent this time? Dang, you were a pervy human.
"I need to hear it." He told you, his eyes fixated on your face. You felt a spark of comfort knowing he would stop if you asked him to, he already did. And now, with your consent, you wanted him to do all kinds of crazy depraved things to your body. You wanted to experience what a good tentacle-fuck could feel like and not the fake experience you got from your tentacle dildo at home.
You knew you should be more concerned, maybe even more confused about the existence of sea monsters with tentacles and abs of steel⌠But at that moment you could only feel the heat of his gaze over your body, the still present slimy substance on your skin and the wetness dripping from your pussy. You were horny, as horny as youâd ever felt. And he was there, ready to fuck you if you asked.
"I want you." You whispered, embarrassed.
"Good girl." You moaned at his words, your inner sub melting with his praise. He approached you again, his body undulating and his tentacles rapidly reaching for you. But he didnât touch you, not yet.
"Aren't you scared, pretty girl?" You shook your head. "You should." He sentenced, making you shiver at the danger in his voice. Dang, that was fucking hot. "You want all of me?" You nodded, lost in a breeze of lust. And then his tentacles touched you, all over. He held you down again, this time on your back. The heat inside of you felt like a raging flame.
He didnât waste a second. His suckers met your clit and you felt an out of body experience. "You like that, pretty girl? You should see how beautiful you look right now. How pretty my tentacles look against your skin." His words were making you squirm, not used to receive so many compliments. But you couldnât escape his assault on you, his tentacles holding you down, his suckers taking pleasure out of you without asking.
You came faster than ever, and he hadnât even had to enter you. He only needed one tentacle and a clever sucker to make you into a mess, and you couldnât be more grateful. He probed at your entrance, making you moan again as he pushed inside. Two of his tentacles reached your boobs and the suckers latched into your nipples, the sensation so overwhelming that you came again, screaming so loud he shoved a tentacle in your mouth.
âBe quiet, pretty girl. I donât want others to come see my gift.â He told you as he pushed his tentacles further down your holes. The tentacle in your mouth touched the back of your throat, making you gag as he moaned over you. The on on your pussy touched your G-spot insistently, the sensation to rough and raw that you couldnât stop the gushing juices you let out, coming again. âYou cum so prettily, your pussy looks so pink and puffy around my tentacle⌠I bet you can do more. Can you do more, pretty girl?â You nodded fervently, wanting so bad to be good for him. To be a good girl.
He fucked your mouth and pussy in tandem, his tentacles touching you all over. After what you thought was the ten orgasms, he lowered his pace. You were panting, your body shivering, and tears running down your face as the assault on your sensitive areas. Your body felt like an exposed nerve.
"This is okay?" A tentacle probed your asshole, pushing inside slowly, breaching your unexplored hole carefully. You wanted to nod, but you werenât sure youâd be able to move without orgasming again. He kept looking at your face analyzing your reactions, repeating whatever made your body shiver, your pussy quiver, your moans escape around his tentacles.
And suddenly all your holes were full, his figure looming over you as he moved his tentacles all over. Inside and out, he was touching every inch of your body.
"Take me further. Come on." His embrace tightened as he pushed harder and faster into your holes, your moans muffled by the tentacle down your throat. "Good girl." You felt completely controlled, cared and fucked out. All three at the same time. You asked for this, and you were mesmerized by the feel of his skin against yours. âOne more.â You shook your head, you couldnât get more, it hurt so good when he pushed inside, but you didnât think you could do more. You cried around the tentacle in your mouth and he shushed you, wiping your tears with another tentacle. Gods, he was all over you. âCome on, pretty girl, one more and Iâll stop.â He kept fucking you through your turmoil, the pleasure and pain mixing in the most excruciating sensation youâd ever felt.
âCome on, come for me one more time.â And you came. You felt some fluid leaking out of his tentacles, covering you in a mass of slime, down your throat, up your cervix⌠You were stuffed full of slimy liquid as he screamed over you.
After all that you just had one clear thought: real-life tentacles were a lot better than silicone dildos.
pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs, luv you and thank you in advanceâ¤ď¸
WHY ARE ALL OF THEM SO FUCKING GOOD????????! pls tRUST me
gojo
gojo eating you out
gojo x dacryphilia
gojo loves fat pussy
sending gojo an accidental nude so he sends you a whole video
car sex with gojo
gojo being goofy in an elevator full of people - he´s big on PDA
gojo tried to give himself a haircut and now wants to go bald - this is fuNNY ksksks, I love the banter
trying to break up with yandere!gojo - yep, we´re talkin about lovesick toxic obsessed type of gojo, break up????? you know better than to tell him that sooo since you´re acting dUMB he has to fucc so sense into you bc clearly you forgot who tf ur talking to - LDKJSDFJDJFHLSHFLSHDF but he´s not rough bc he luvss you a lot
gojo is the pussy fairy - fwb, he´s your sneaky link when henessy makes you act up. he got a mf tongue piercing bYEE
insecure bully!gojo - angst, lil fluff, he´s a bully but he´s in love with that, but it´s not enough. part 2
the horniest - smut, ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD, he´s horny af, pussy drunk, obsessed, borderline crazy for that wap
phone calls - slice of life, hubby!gojo, dilf!gojo, his wife and his daughter are his only priority, this is so sdkfjskdjfh :´( i love it
cherished moments - clanleader!gojo, hubby!gojo who is a softy for his wife, #simp
family moments - fluff, slice of life, this is so wholesomeee, bf!gojo meeting your parents for the first time, i love it
someone older - smut, rich dilf!gojo, big age gap, big dicc too, talks big shit as well, "what do you do when your boyfriend cheats? you go to his house and fuck his dad" I MEAN- skdfhksdf
best of the best - smut, fwb! satoru, big sHIT talker omg, he lit asks you to be his gf wHILE he´s making you cum,,,,,best bf ever tho
love struck - fluffy, ex-fuckboy!satoru, he´s experiencing love for the first time :((((( IT´S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE
love dumb - fluff, blurb, you make him lose his composure, can´t even focus bc you´re over there existing, someone should make a longer version of this! so good
too much - ANGSTTTYYYY, fluff too, reader and gojo are in a situationship kinda thing where they live together and love each other but nothing has been said yet, they get into an argument bc gojo has a big mouth and says a lot of hurtful things, they´re both just so exhausted
i know you still think about the times we had - angst, fluff, rich bf!gojo, his father makes you break up with him, it´s so angsty omg, they get into this HUGE argument bc gojo´s dad is a controlling mf
sanctuary - fluff, lowkey angst, weak!reader, bully!gojo, nah he´s just in love but doesn´t know how to say it
the road to falling in love - fluff, strangers to lovers, it´s a collection o moments where keeps falling harder for you, I LOVE ITTTTT, sdkfjhskdjf it´s kinda slow burn but not boring at all
loving you - fluffy af, "youâre the apple of his eyes; the love of his life. the only one who matters" ME N WHO???? pls this made my want to cry my heart out
yuji finds out gojo has a family - fluff, lowkey angst, hubby!gojo, dad!gojo, so,,, this made me cry, i love yuji sm he deserves the world :( this is part two and it also made me crY MY MF EYES OUT :))))))))
i´ll meet you forever in this memory - fluff, college au, married life au, it´s so good, he lit has this big ass plan to make you fall for him, and i mean big, like planned way ahead lmao, 10 years later he´s still asking you to go out with him,,,,even if you´re already married sdlfkjkdfhlsdjh so so cute
can´t stop drinking - ANGST, death, blood, dad!gojo, husband!gojo, mentions of wanting to die, a curse kills you and your son allegedly but in reality the elders had lied to him all these years, part 2 made me fucking cry, PLEASEEE I NEED PART 3
hype man - crack, fluff, supportive bf!gojo, he´s such an amazing bf :(, âdamn, my girl ran you over with a bus, reversed, then got out and shot you twice in the foot? what did you do?? sounds like a you issue.â LMAOOOOO this is so cute and funny at the same time, i love it, such a gojo thing to say
flicker of flame - fluff, nervous soon to be dad!gojo, pregnant!reader, he´s going to be the best dad ever
nanami
when you break up and make up - nanami divorce au, angst
dorm room escapades - smut, dad´s bestfriend!nanami, age gap, GAWWDD DAMNNNN, daddy kink, this is some good stuff
you ask him to fuck you like a whore - its a short one but me likey
nanami drabbles - pwp, pls yall readdd part 2 and part 3
nanami is strong af - short blurb, smut, sdflksjd this got me giggling and shii
fifteen minutes - âSay that again. Louder. Canât hear shit with the sound of my dick slapping into your cunt.â that´s all I have to say, your honor
protective - headcanon, hubby!kento, i love thissss
swear it´s just right for you - smut, fluff, hubby!nanami, I´m weaaaak, he´s so husband material
stressed after work - boyfriend! kento, a cute lil drabble bc he loves your mere presence
labour of love - fluff, vanilla smut, lowkey angst if you´ve been keeping up with the manga/anime, loving hubby!kento, SO DOMESTIC, love making, :(
losing his mind - smut, dom!reader, hubby!kento, sub!kento, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW, 10000/10, now this is new
his protÊgÊ - fluff, slice of life, fiancÊ!kento, dinner time with yuuji, it´s so wholesome :´)
my future is with you - fluff, unexpected angst, this is SICKKKKKKK, the last senteces is fucking sickening, and NOT in a good way, so fucking wrong for that, I litteraly wanna dIE
tie my tie, marry me - fluff, slice of life, "the moment nanami knew he never wanted to tie his tie by himself ever again and wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side" please just do yourself a favor and READ THIS
putting you in your place - smut, reader is gojo´s brat little sister, mean!nanami, BRAT TAMER!NANAMI, HEAVY degradation, âMaybe this was your fucking goal all along. To have me ruin you on my cock and fuck the attitude out of you.â CALL 911
edging - smut, pwp, fluff, this,,,,this is one the BEST nanami smuts out there, i just know the description of the whole thing is 100% accurate, the details, the way this is written, the visuaLSsss ldskjfhjsalfh go read it pls
married man - fluff, work au, HE IS A PROUD HUSBAND OK, the man was just waiting for somebody to say sOMETHING sljsdhfl now he can´t stop bragging about his perfect wife
toji
toji x size kink
toji x pussy spanking ´till you´re squirting - the title says it all,,, he´s MEAN
toji doing push ups with you on his back - you´re basically a rag doll,,,bc wdym he puts you in a fULL NELSON??
toji gets embarrased - the man WHIMPERED bc the riding was gewdd so reader kinda teases him for it, how dare she right? so now he has to make her pAY bc he aint no bitch
silk sheets n sticky cum - toji can´t control himself when he sees you in a nightgown so he uses you as a cum dump,,, in a very romantic way flsjdflkssldfjlsdfh, breeding kink
toji x overstimulation - fINALLY he got what he deserved, reader got him WHIMPERING, body shaking eyes rolling to the back of his head and everythangggg, I'm here for it.
take it lil princess - toji got me fucked up, straight up size kink like FRRRR he wants to break, bend and basically snap you in half (i´ll let him tbh), daddy kink, he got a big dicc as aLWAYS, the degRADING DIRTY TALKKK???? yes. he talks and talks and tALKS. there´s a lot going on yall
mine - toji mixed with monster!porn,,, nothing else to say- HE´S A WEREWOLfff, mean asf, breeding kink, daddy kink, size kink, it´s nasty
jealous daddy - slice of life, dilf!toji, megumi is a baby, toji and megumi create a plan to keep you away from megumi´s kindergarden teacher lmaooo, its so cute
nyphomaniac - smut, nypho!reader, dom!toji, THERE´S A WHOLE LOTTA STUFF GOING ON HEREE, just read it omg
family man - fluff, soft dad!toji, baby megumi, husband!toji, he´s a softie for his son and his wife ;(
unprecedented reveal - smut, fluff, mma!toji, journalist!reader, lowkey angst, "photo leaks of toji going down on you in public is suddenly exposed for everyone to know about the infamous fighters girlfriend" wELL dssdfh that´ll do it
will always be yours - smut, fluff, so basically toji only does rough sex, doggy style being his fav, but when it comes to you he prefers the loving-face to face-intense eye contanct type of sex (more like love making) bc being with you makes him feel ten different emotions at once :) DĂFLJSLDFJ
unspoken memories - fluff, lowkey angst, dad!toji, baby!megumi, married life, my heart is so full after reading this, it´s so domestic, so adorable, such a happy read
make a mess on his face - smut, toji is a messy pussy eater, that´s it, that´s the tweet
geto
gimme, gimme more - rich!geto x stripper!reader, lots of plot and build up, he is misteriousssss and fucking filthy and so cuTE??????? wtf, the wating game is real, he knows how to play his cards very well, LAWDD HAVE MERCY i would have folded too
gripping the headboard with one hand - smut, âwhat a slut.â hELP
focus - suggestive, flirty!geto, tutor!geto, âyouâre doing so good for me⌠keep going.â I HATE ITTTTTTTT, i would fold like a mf lawn chair bitch OOF
dress shopping - very suggestive, WHY IS HE SO SMOOTH WITH IT ALL THE TIME??? got me blushing and sweating and shit
phoque - crack, teacher!suguru, twin girls dad!suguru, he accidentally curses in front of his daughters and now he´s gotta make up some bullshit story to save his ass, SLFHSLDKJHSLDH this is funny
choso
picture perfect - smut, photographer choso, he´s lowkey a perv, jacks off to oc´s pictures
suckig souls - smut, succubus oc, somnophilia, sub! choso, lil dacryphilia, love love love love it
meanie - smut, mean!choso, âWhy you actinâ like some dick-starved whore? I fucked you good this morning" THE WAY I SCREAMEDDDDDDDD âIs that what you needed, princess? Some good dick?" STOOOOOOOOOPPPP
your pleasure - smut, squirting, choso discovers the magic of eating pussy :))))) aND he´s a fucking natural too like ???? gTFO
it´s too much - smut, dom!reader, inexperienced!choso and sub!chose fics are like crack to me, i´m obsessed, this is so detailed, he is eager to please sdlfjls and wants to try it all at once
fingers in his hair - smut, chose loves having his hair pulled when he´s eating pussy,,,,,,,CALL A MF AMBULANCE a bitch just died
cherry blossoms - smut, virgin!choso, phone sex, it´s his first orgasm yall, not yuji talking about a "sloppy toppy" LSJFHLSJDFHLFDH he´s so outta pocket
sukuna
itadori
vivid fantasies - smut, sukuna wants to bone you and he makes it yujiâs problem sakfhkshfksfd poor yuji
poly / multiple versions
gojo and geto are rich besties and they coax you into a poly relationship - smut
you slap their ass - reaction. gojo, geto, sukuna, nanami, choso, toji, megumi, itadori, yuta
too much for them to handle - toji and gojo version. it´s a LOT going here as well. gojo is a whole swiTCH. toji is a bully in the sheets so you know he´s all abou that degrading teasing dirty talk, we love it
slut him out - gojo, geto, nanami and toji version. y'know what,,,idek what to say about thi- IT´S NASTY FILTHY JUST PORN, reader is a whOre (not my words), read at your own risk bc i was SHOOk
how jjk men like it - smut, the gojo and toji one,,, i HATe it hereee
bimbo bunny - smut, choso, toji and nanami version, the vISUALs I GOT FROM THE NANAMI ONE LAWDDDD
birthday boy - smut, birthday sex, dacryphilia, i just KNOWWWW this is geto
Could you please write a poly!ghostface X reader friends to lovers smut (w/ some fluff)
I had so much fun with this! Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy it! Please leave feedbackđŠˇ
(A/N: Header by me)
Warnings: SMUT! 18+, mdni. fem!reader. Oral both female and male recieving. Name calling, pet names, p in v sex. No use if condom(be responsible please, life isn't fanfiction). Drinking. Everyone in this fic is over 18. if I missed anything please let me know.
Pairing: Stu Macher x fem!reader x Billy Loomis
Word count: 6.7k
Just the three of us
You and Stu have been best friends since first grade. You were paired to sit together. Initially you thought he was pretty annoying. Always talking, not paying much attention and messing up your work. Little you was really ready to throw hands. Stu loved annoying you! He thought that was the best way to make friends. Taking away the pens you needed to finish your drawing in art class. Or copying your maths notes. Always asking you ridiculous questions that he knew you couldn't answer. He thought it funny how your little face scrunched up. Little Stu was a menace. But he didn't take too kindly to other kids picking on you. It almost never happened.
But when one of the older boys pushed you into the dirt one day, with your new dress, which he knew was new because he's never seen you wear it before and you told him so and were so happy about it, it was over. He didn't care that the boy was older than him, and slightly taller, he threw himself at the boy and a fight broke loose. The teacher pulled them apart. Stu was dirty but he didn't care. All he cared for was you. So once the teacher's were done with their chiding he ran to look for you. He didn't have to go very far as you were waiting for him. He thought you would snap at him but you gave him the biggest hug you could. Stu didn't know it yet but his heart skipped a beat and would do so ever since when you hugged him. Ever since then the two of you have been inseparable. He still annoyed you during classes but now you knew that he didn't mean bad by it and always had a smart comeback to his weird questions. No one could come between the two of you.Â
Or so you thought. Once you two entered middle school Stu met a new friend. His name was Billy. Suddenly Stu spent every minute with him. You hated it. You tried confronting Stu but he said that you made stuff up. Of course it hurt but maybe he was right? You gave him some space, which seemed to work in your favour as you made some other friends along the way. Girl friends, which you really didn't have before. Stu hated to see that. He was supposed to be your best friend. Suddenly he kept inviting you over again, so much so that you didn't spend so much time with your girl friends anymore. You tried to make time for them but it wasn't nearly enough. Most of them didn't want to hang out with you anymore. The only real girl friend you had was Tatum. She had a lot of friends so she never minded when you didn't have time, but she was also happy when you did.Â
The other down side with Stu inviting you over again was that Billy was there as well. You still didn't like him the first few times you came around. It wasn't like he was unfriendly or anything, just the fact that he stole your best friend. Stu must have talked to Billy cause the boy always made sure to be at his best behaviour around you. Making sure you started to like him. You don't really remember how it happened but suddenly it wasn't just you and Stu anymore but you, Stu and Billy. You really grew fond of Billy, you even developed a little crush on the boy at one point. Of course you never told him or Stu, for many reasons. One because you knew he didn't feel the same and two Stu would make fun of you. You also didn't want to ruin your little friend group. So you ignored it, which worked very well.
Until the summer before you guys started High School. You guys were 15 and at the Lake in the woods. You had bought a new bikini for the occasion. Stu's eyes widened as you took off your summer dress to reveal the new swimwear you bought. He was checking you out, and when he noticed his swim trunks getting tighter, he jumped into the lake immediately. He didn't care that it was cold as hell, on the contrary it helped him. When he came back up to the surface he heard your laugh and gave you his usual wide grin in return. He also noticed Billy checking you out, more subtle than him. He felt a little jealous but shook his head. That was silly.Â
You guys had an amazing day at the lake, several water fights and dunking each other, the previous thoughts all gone. It was late but the sun was still up. You were dry again and laughing with your boys. You don't know how it came up but they were telling you about their first kisses. To be honest you felt a little jealous but you thought that was because you didn't have your first kiss yet. It was a little embarrassing really, though you knew there was nothing wrong with it but you kind of felt left out of a secret club, that your best friends already joined without you. You had gotten really quiet as Stu tells the story of how he had "a real makeout session" with Stacy from your Math class. Billy noticed your lack of attention and nudged you softly, asking you what's wrong with you. That also got Stu's attention. Your face grew hot as now both Stu and Billy were looking at you. You averted your gaze and told them that you didn't have your first kiss yet. Billy shrugged his shoulders.
"That's not that bad. It's not like it's a big deal."Â
But that didn't really convince you.Â
"If it bothers you so much one of us could kiss ya." That got your attention and you looked at Stu.Â
"You are making fun of me!"Â
"Babes you know I would never!"
You just raise an eyebrow at that.Â
"Fine I do. But not right now. I am dead serious! Cross my heart!" He was doing the cross over his heart trying to look serious, but his eyes were full of mischief. You looked over to Billy.Â
"I mean⌠he is not wrong. If you really wanna."
That took you even more by surprise. You thought Billy would try to talk Stu out of it but you were wrong. He was also thinking this idea was great. You contemplated it. What would be the harm right? It's just a kiss. It's not like that would change anything. Right? Right.Â
"Alright."
"Really?" Stu asked, his face lit up like a childs on christmas.Â
"Yeah. I mean it's just a kiss right?"
"Yeah nothing special about it." Billy said.
"So who do you want to be your first?" Stu wiggled his eyebrows.Â
Your face grew hot again. Of course they were both attractive. And you had a crush on Billy once. But Stu was your best friend, you knew him longer. This gave you anxiety already. You didn't want it to be awkward with either one of them. But you also wanted this to be over. And who knows how much longer you'd have to go without kissing. You didn't want to be a bloody amateur when you got your first boyfriend.
So you decided. You stood up only to sit down right in front of Stu, who gave you a big smile. Little did you know that jealousy bubbled up in Billy at that. Though he didn't know who he was more jealous of, you or Stu. He shook his head.
"What do I do with my hands?"
"Whatever you want. You can put them around my neck or one on my face. Or you can just leave them at your side. Though that would be kinda awkward."
You nodded and so you shyly put your hands on Stu's shoulders, softly gripping them.
Your nerves were acting up as Stu slowly scooted a little closer and his face was inches from your own. You closed your eyes as you felt your lips connect. His lips were a little chapped but it didn't feel unpleasant. Then he started to move his lips, you tried to copy his movements. It wasn't perfect by any means, even a little sloppy, but you actually enjoyed yourself. You were clinging to Stu as he somehow managed to slip his tongue into your mouth and you let out a little squeak, feeling Stu grin against your lips. All too soon he broke the kiss. With your eyes still closed you tried to follow his lips. Stu let out a chuckle at that and you could hear Billy clear his throat. That snapped you out of your little trance, your face incredibly hot. You looked over to Billy.
"Wanna show me what you learned?"Â
Your eyes widened a little at that but you nodded nonetheless. He switched places with Stu real quick, Stu taking off his hands from your hips which you didn't even know were there. You already missed them. But they were replaced with Billy's. A little smaller than Stu's, but just as pleasantly warm. You wrapped your arms around his neck and Billy grinned, squeezing your hips a little.
"Ready?"
You nodded, smiling. Closing your eyes again as he closed the space between you two and his lips met yours. His lips were softer than Stu's, the kiss already feeling different than Stu's too. Less sloppy, as if Billy really knew what he was doing. He was easily dominating that kiss. You could really get used to kissing them. Scraping together every ounce of confidence you had you let your tongue slip inside his mouth, teasing his tongue with yours, just like you felt Stu do to you just moments ago. You could feel Billy letting out a soft sigh. Unbeknownst to you Stu was watching you two like a hawk. He wished he could join the two of you. You were getting a little lost in the feeling, your heart beating out of your chest. But Billy decided that this was long enough and broke the kiss. Your eyes fluttered open and you looked at Billy, his eyes never sucked you in more.
"I think you will be good now."
"Yeah, your future boyfriend will be really lucky." There was a slight edge to Stu's voice. But you couldn't figure out why.Â
After that, conversation resumed as normal and you were convinced that was the end of that. And it was. Nothing seemed to have changed and after the summer you guys went to highschool. Still the best of friends. Both Billy and Stu started dating a few girls here and there during that time. And even you went on a few dates but you were never really in love with them. They always seemed to have a problem with how close you were with Billy and Stu. More often than not they cheered you up after another guy dumped you. You were very grateful for that. You of course were there for them too. Stu being dumped by Casey Becker was really hard on him. You had a sleepover with him the whole weekend, with Billy showing up as well in the middle of the night. As much as Stu was upset it was one of the best weekends in a long time. You guys were watching movies all night, stuffing your face with Junk Food and sweets, and talking a lot. It felt like you grew closer to them again. While you guys were sleeping you were squished between them, Stu in front of you and Billy pressed against your back. It made you feel all warm inside and you realised that you might be feeling more for your best friends than you were supposed to. You knew nothing would happen so you were just happy with what you've got.
Now it was your 18th Birthday. Initially you just wanted a chill day, maybe going to eat some pizza with your boys but Stu had a different idea. And so you were at his house, which was full of people. You were convinced Stu invited the whole school. Both Billy's and Stu's 18th birthdays were a few months ago but they didn't have this big of a party, you think. You were making your way to the couch, people wishing you a happy birthday left and right. Finally you could join Tatum and Sydney on the sofa letting out a big sigh.
"Stu really went all out for you huh?"
"Yeah. I think it's a bit much but I couldn't say no to him when he looked at me with his big puppy eyes and his stupid grin."
"So when are you going to tell him you are in love with him?"
You choked on your own saliva at that.Â
"I am not in love with him."
"Sure, keep telling yourself that."
"You know I am pretty sure you are not supposed to tease the birthday girl on her birthday."
Tatum rolled her eyes playfully.Â
"Whatever."
You continued talking with the two girls when suddenly Stu plopped down next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder.
"You having fun, pretty girl?"
You gave him a soft smile.
"Yeah. Thanks again for the party. But you know I would have been fine with it just being a chill night with you guys and some drinks maybe and a cake. By the way, why is there no cake?" You were pouting a little. The cake was always the best thing about birthdays.
Stu laughed at that.
"Don't worry. Billy is bringing the cake. And no he didn't bake it. That would go horribly." You giggled and softly hit his chest.
"I think you are confusing his baking abilities with your own."
He looked at you in fake shock.
"I am a fantastic baker, just so you know."
"Mhmh yeah and that time you let the cookies burn that were supposed to be sold at the baking sale two years ago was totally intentional."
"Totally!" You two laughed again.
A few moments later Billy came in with the cake. They lit the candles and everyone began to sing Happy Birthday to you. You hated every second of it, not knowing what to do with yourself besides standing there. Both Billy and Stu grinning, they knew you hated this kind of attention on yourself. You were relieved when you finally could blow out the candle and everyone got a piece of cake, including you.Â
Billy came over to you, hugging you close.Â
"Happy Birthday sweetheart."
"Thanks Billy." You always enjoyed his hugs. Other than Stu, Billy wasn't much of a hugger, so his hugs were a tad more special. Not that you disliked Stu's hugs though. Speaking of Stu, he couldn't stand being left out and so he wrapped you and Billy in a big bear hug.
"I love you guys so much!"
"How much did you have to drink already?" You were giggling. Billy, not so amused, nudged Stu rather harshly with his elbow, so Stu let go of you.Â
After finishing your cake, and drinking another beer, you went dancing with your girl friends. You weren't much of a dancer usually but it's your birthday and maybe you should let a little loose here and there. So that's what you did. Soon after you felt a pair of hands on your hips, pulling you close to a hard chest. You were about to tell the person off but you recognised Stu's cologne instantly. Relaxing, you continued dancing. Getting bolder you started to dance more suggestively, swaying your hips more, going down almost to your knees and back up. When you were back up, Stu turned you around. Your arms flew around his neck, smiling up at him. You couldn't quite pin the look in his eyes but you didn't care. You craved his lips on yours. Your eyes flicked down to them and you could see them forming a lazy grin, his tongue poking out to wet them. You were mesmerised by the movement, your own lips parting slightly, making Stu's eyes flick down to then. His eyes became more hooded and his face inched closer. Your eyes were fluttering close, his breath fanning over your face, the smell of beer, which you would normally find disgusting was invading your senses paired with Stu's own intoxicating smell. The anticipation was slowly killing you. You could already feel his lips brush yours when suddenly Stu was janked back making you stumble.
You blinked your eyes open and saw him with a group of guys hollering and throwing shots back. You let out a huff, disappointment settling in. Without looking at him again you pushed past the group and went into the kitchen to get another drink. In the kitchen you found some people making out, blocking you from the counter with the drinks. Groaning, you took a bottle of water and went back to the living room. You could see Stu, he was still with the same group of guys, laughing and dancing. You just shook your head, plopping down on the couch. Your sour mood didn't last long as some Tatum pulled you up by the arms again and started dancing with you. The little incident between you and Stu soon forgotten
Some time around 1 o'clock in the morning when the last person left, you were helping Stu clean up. Billy was also there though really you were the only one cleaning up. The two boys were on the couch talking quietly amongst each other. After you finished the kitchen, you decided that the rest could be done tomorrow. Well technically today.Â
You plopped down between them, not noticing the look they shared.Â
"You had a great time today?" It was Billy asking you.
You nodded, smiling.
"I normally don't like big parties like that."
"But?" It was Stu's turn to ask.
"But ⌠this was amazing. Thank you again." You put your palm against Stu's cheek, smiling softly at him. Realising how close you were to him, it reminded you of the situation earlier, making your face heat up. You had to look away, opting to look over at Billy. Which was a mistake. He gave you the same intense look you had seen on Stu earlier. You cleared your throat a little, looking away. You felt two fingers softly gripping your chin, turning your face towards Billy again, who was so much closer to you now. Your breath got caught in your throat. You were about to ask him what's wrong but before you could even form one word, Billy's lips were on you, soft yet firm. You were shocked but not in a bad way. Your eyes fluttered close and you were melting against Billy. Completely forgetting that Stu was right behind you. Billy's lips moved against yours with determination, his tongue slipping inside your mouth soon after. You were so lost in the kiss that you at first didn't notice that Stu began to pepper your neck with kisses. Only when he started to suck a mark onto your soft skin did you realise, letting out a breathy moan, leaning against Stu now.
Billy parted from you, making you almost whine. He grinned at that, taking a quick look at you. Your eyes were closed, now biting your lip as Stu still worked on the one side of your neck. Your eyebrows were pulled together in pleasure. You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest, even more so when Billy began to kiss the other side of your neck. One of Stu's hands creeping you to one of your boobs, groping and squeezing the soft flesh. A breathy moan left you. The both of them were driving you wild. You were gripping at Billy's shirt, making him bite into your neck. One of his hands was working on your pants, slipping a hand inside of them once it was opened. His hand dipped into your panties and he let out a pleased hum.
"My my, already drenched and we barely did anything to you yet sweetheart. 'S that all for us?" Billy spoke against your neck, leaving goosebumps.Â
You quickly nodded your head, a breathy "Yes" left your lips. You could feel Stu grinning against your neck.Â
Billy slowly dragged a finger through your wet folds, making you squirm in Stu's grip. After a little more of this teasing, having coated his fingers in your juice, Billy slipped one of his fingers inside of your dripping hole. Your mouth opened in a silent moan, Stu's hand grabbing your boob harder. Billy began to slowly fuck you open with his finger. Your head fell against Stu, one arm behind you, around Stu's neck, gripping him at the nape of his neck, the other hand still fisting Billy's shirt. You tried to muffle your moans, which soon flew out of the window as Billy added a second finger soon after. You had sex before but those guys never fingered you. Heck even the sex with them was nothing compared to what Billy could do to you with his two fingers. You wondered, if this is how good his fingers could make you feel, how amazing must it feel to be really fucked by him.Â
Billy's intense gaze never left your face as he fucked you with his fingers, his pants were growing tighter by the minute, he knew Stu was in much the same position. Billy started scissoring his fingers, his thumb soon joining in to play with your clit. You started withering, but lucky for you and Billy, Stu had a tight grip on you. He had resumed sucking hickey's onto your neck.Â
"I always knew you were tight. But fuck this is even better than I imagined. Can't wait to stuff you full with my dick."Â
Billy's words only made you more wet, if that was even possible. Even with your pants still on you could hear the squelching sound your pussy made, feeling Stu's hard dick press into your lower back told you he liked what he was hearing too. Your skin felt so hot, one could think you had a fever, a soft sheen of sweat on your forehead and your cleavage formed. Stu wanted nothing more than to lick it off of the swell of your boobs.Â
Suddenly Billy removed his fingers, making you whine in protest. Both boys chuckled at that.Â
"What's the problem, pretty girl?" Stu's tone was mocking, but it only made you hornier. You didn't dare speak.
"Cat's got your tongue?" Billy's voice didn't sound any less taunting. You looked at them both pleadingly. Billy pulled his hand out of your pants, ready to lick his fingers clean, but Stu stopped him, gripping Billy's wrist. Stu leaned forward and closed his mouth around Billy's fingers, holding eye contact with the other one. Billy let out an audible breath through his nose. Your mouth dropped open as you watched the two. It made you realise that this was definitely not the first time these two have fooled around. You felt a bit honoured that they felt comfortable enough to show you this. Once Stu seemed satisfied he popped Billy's fingers out of his mouth, making a show of licking his lips.Â
"Delicious." He kept grinning. Billy gave you a quick glance, before his eyes locked back onto Stu. He gripped the boy's shirt and pulled him closer, making you fall a little to the side, as their lips connected. You could see that it was all tongues and teeth, both of them groaning. Billy could taste you on Stu's tongue and it was driving him crazy. They parted and you could see a string of saliva connecting them. They grinned at each other, then their gaze turned back to you, making you feel even hotter than before. Their look was almost predatory, making you gulp. In a matter of seconds they removed your clothes and you were back against Stu's chest, sitting almost at the edge of the couch. Billy was sitting in front of you, having a perfect view at your glistening folds.Â
"Damn, Stu wish you could see this. Most perfect little pussy I have ever seen." Billy couldn't take his eyes off of it. You were squirming under Billy's gaze.
"Please Billy."
"Did ya hear that Billy? I think our precious girl wants something." You looked up at Stu, pleading with your eyes.
"I did hear. Though I am not sure what exactly it is that you want. Tell us Princess. Don't be shy."
"Yeah, don't be shy now."
You swallowed, grabbing onto every ounce of confidence and self control you still owned.Â
"Could you please put your mouth on my pussy Billy?" Your voice came out weaker than anticipated. You were afraid he didn't hear you, making you repeat yourself. But he did.
"Aw, of course, pretty girl. Can't leave the birthday girl hanging now, can I?"
You shook your head fast. Billy gave you one last grin, before diving in. Your hands gripped onto his hair in seconds. You always knew his mouth was good but this exceeded your expectations. You didn't care if your moans sounded pathetic, you only knew how good it felt having Billy suck on your clit, having two of his fingers in your pussy again. You were basically grinding against him, one of his hands squeezing your thigh. That would definitely leave a bruise you were sure, but you didn't mind in the slightest. Stu turned your face to the side so he could kiss you. Moaning against his lips as you could feel Billy switching it up, his thumb now rubbing your clit as his tongue was deep inside of you.Â
Stu on the other hand was kissing you like his life depended on it. There was nothing of the uncertainty he had when you guys first shared your first kiss. But still sloppy, in a different kind of way. His tongue was massaging yours, one of his hands on your boobs again, toying with your nipples. He was biting your lip, almost drawing blood, making you squeal.Â
Billy was looking up, groaning at seeing the two of you kiss. Your grip on his hair getting tighter by the second and he could feel your gummy walls clamping around his tongue. He began to lick and suck at your harsher. He desperately wanted to see you fall apart for him and Stu. You had to part from Stu with a gasp, breathing in deep. Stu pulled at your bottom lip. Your eyebrows were creased together. You were so close. Looking down at Billy you swore his eyes were glinting. He knew you were going to come, you could tell. Your lips were swollen, from the kiss with Stu, who was still playing with your nipples. Pulling and squeezing and twisting, the pain of it so pleasurable. This, paired with Billy's relentless mouth on your dripping pussy, seriously you were sure you would be dripping on the floor, wouldn't it be for Billy sucking it all up, were enough to send you flying over the edge. A high pitched moan left your lips, your thighs clamping around Billy's head, your hips lifting off of the edge of the sofa as your orgasm crashed through you. It has never felt so intense before. Stu was holding you close as Billy helped you ride out every last drop of your pleasure.Â
Stu softly pecked the side of your head when you finally calmed down. Billy didn't waste a drop of your juice and you had to push his head away from you, releasing him from between your thighs. His chin and lips were wet from your arousal. His eyes almost black. He made a show of licking his lips and you could feel Stu shuffling behind you.Â
Billy was the first to speak. "You ok sweetheart?"
You nodded. "I'm fucking fantastic." He gave you a cheeky grin.Â
"Do you wanna continue orrrrrâŚ" Stu spoke up behind you.
You chuckled breathless. "Definitely continue."Â
Billy stood up helping you stand up on shaky legs. He gave you a cheeky grin at that, making you swat his chest, giggling.Â
When Stu stood up he didn't waste a second to throw you over his shoulder, giving your ass a slap, groping it right after. He made his way up the stars, Billy right behind the two of you.Â
Inside the room, Stu threw you onto the bed, making you bounce. Both of the boys looking at your boobs. You almost wanted to cover up from their intense staring. Stu was the first to snap out of it, removing his clothes, almost tripping as he took off his pants. His erection slapping against his lower stomach. You moaned quietly at the sight, biting your lip. The tip was a deep pink, already leaking precum, there was a slight curve upwards. He was definitely longer than your previous boyfriends and just a tad bit girthier.Â
"Like what ya seeing babe?" He gave you a grin, but you couldn't see any of his usual silliness shine through. All you could see in his eyes was hunger. And you were pretty sure you were his next meal. He came stalking over to you, taking both your ankles into his hand he pulled you closer to him, making you lie down on your back in the process. As he crawled over you, you wrapped your legs around him, making him feel your wet heat on his throbbing dick.Â
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." He was almost growling.
"Then let's not waste any more time, yeah?" Your voice was dripping with excitement. Stu gave you a quick but forceful peck before lining up with your heat. He was rubbing his tip between your folds. Both of you were mesmerising as he slowly pushed inside of you. The both of you are moaning in unison.Â
"Fuck Billy's right. 'S the most perfect little pussy. Shit you're grippn me so tight."
"Stu please move."
You were trying to rock against him but he was gripping your hips so hard there would definitely be handprint bruises. No chance of moving.Â
"Shit wait a sec babe, don't wanna bust too soon. You feel so good around me."
You could hear a scoff behind you. Craning your neck you could see Billy standing on the other side of the bed. Naked. Your eyes immediately go to his dick. He was definitely girthier than Stu, not as long tho. His tip also a bit darker than Stu's.Â
"What are you a fucking virgin Stu?" Billy was teasing.
"Shut up man, you wouldn't be able to control yourself either."Â
With that Stu began to almost pull out entirely making you whine, which soon turned into a loud moan as he snapped his hips back into yours, sending you moving along the bed. Your head getting closer to Billy's dick as he was still standing on the edge on the other side. Stu's pace was relentless, reaching so deep inside you, you swear you could almost feel him inside your throat. He didn't hold back with his moans either. Ever the vocal type no matter what. You didn't mind though, it let you know that he was enjoying himself. Billy shuffled a little closer, gripping his dick. You were already salivating at the thought of having him inside your mouth. He twirled his tip on your lips, coating them in his precum.Â
"Open up sweetheart."
You didn't need to be told twice, open your mouth eagerly. Billy gave an appreciative hum as he slowly slid into your mouth. You were gagging a little but still wanted more.Â
Stu was still snapping into you, watching as you swallowed Billy's cock.Â
"Damn you really are an eager little slut huh?"
Stu's speech was slightly slurred, completely drunk on your pussy. Billy was slowly fucking your mouth, tears were welling up in your eyes. You were loving every second of this. His hands gripped your boobs, squeezing them, using them as leverage too. They were making you see stars, especially when Billy pushed himself all the way in, holding you there for a few seconds. Stu groaned seeing your throat swell around Billy's dick. He couldn help but touch it. Then Billy pulled out, letting you take a breath. You were gagging, tears streaming out of your eyes. Once you inhaled enough air again you pulled Billy back in, eagerly taking him back into your mouth. Bobbing your head best you could in this position, sucking on the tip every time you came up. Stu started to rub circles on your clit, making you clamp down on him.
He let out a breathy "Fuck." You were growing closer by the second. You could tell by Stu's sloppy thrusts that he was nearing his end too. Billy started to throb inside your mouth. He was ready to pull out and came all over your tits but you had a different plan. Pulling him back in. Billy groaned at your eagerness, coming down your throat almost instantly. You swallowed everything eagerly. Then he pulled out, with a satisfied hum. He softly strokes your cheek, bending down to give you a peck. Then he left to go get everyone some water to drink.
Stu gripped your cheeks, squeezing them and kissing you hungrily, still drilling into you. You were whimpering, so close now. He was still rubbing your clit and your legs began to shake and you came, with a high pitched scream. With a loud groan Stu followed right behind you and came deep inside of you. Riding out both of your orgasms, your legs still shaking. He came to a halt, dropping on top of you, making all air leave your lungs. You had half a mind telling him to get off, but it was actually nice to have his weight on top of you. You wrapped your arms around him, softly scratching his back. He was letting out satisfied hums.
"Am I interrupting?"
You hadn't noticed Billy entering the room again. His voice had an edge to it.Â
"Don't be silly. Come here."
Your voice, a little scratchy, was still soft when saying this.Â
He let out a huff but still came over to the bed. Stu finally moved, pulling out of you and laying down beside you. Billy took his place on your other side, giving you an open water bottle that you could drink. You gave him a thankful kiss and you could swear he was actually blushing a little at this, like he hasn't just eaten you out like a starved man and fucked your throat moments ago. You were gulping down the water while Billy cleaned you up between your legs with a rag. Once he was done he threw it to the side not caring where it landed really.
You were snuggling up to him, Stu close behind you, enjoying the comfort of the post orgasmic bliss. You closed your eyes, very tired now. You guys should talk about what just happened and what it meant for your friendship but you were too tired.Â
You were almost asleep when suddenly Stu jolted upward. "Oh!"
"Shit! What?!"
You almost had a heart attack.Â
"We forgot to give you your birthday present!I'll be right back!"
With that he was out of the bed walking downstairs to get your present.Â
"Is he serious now? That could have waited till morning"
You dropped your head onto Billy's chest.
Billy just shrugged.Â
Stu came back in with a big smile on his face, jumping onto the bed.
You were sitting up, the blanket dropping into your lap. Revealing your chest, distracting Stu again. You giggled and gently lifted his head again.
"Concentrate Stu."
"Right, sorry. They are just -" He made a motion with his hands towards your boobs.
You rolled your eyes playfully.Â
"He is not wrong, you know?"
You giggled.
Stu gave you a little box adorned with a bow.
"You didn't have to get me anything you know that right?"
"Oh we know."
"Yeah but we wanted to. So just enjoy it and say thank you." Billy nudged you.Â
You gave them both a kiss. "Thank you."
Smiling softly you opened the box, revealing a delicate bracelet with two charms on it.Â
"Get it? The charms represent Billy and me!" Stu was so excited.Â
"That is so sweet!" You were touched.Â
"I knew you'd like it!" Stu threw an arm around your shoulder.Â
"See? This is me and this is Billy."
He pointed to the little headphones first. It was rare to see him without them and his cd player these days. Then he pointed at the little knife, with a drop of gemstone blood in it. Definitely Billy. He was obsessed with horror stuff.
"It is perfect. Thank you so much."
And you meant it. Billy put it on for you and you looked at it adoringly. You put your arm down and looked at them both happily.Â
"SooooooooâŚ"
"So?"
"I mean I guess I just wanna know what this means for our friendship?"
"Well we should upgrade it."
"To what?"
"A relationship. Duh." Stu said it like it was the most obvious thing.
"You sure?"
"Sweetheart, we've wanted you for ages."
You looked at Billy like he grew a second head.
"You did?!"
"Yeah. You never noticed?"
Shaking your head you looked at the both of them.Â
"Guess you are stuck with us now."
Stu grinned from ear to ear.
You rolled your eyes smiling.Â
"Like I wasn't before."
"Yeah but now it will be even harder for you to get rid of us."
"Good thing I wanna keep you both."
"Mh. You better." Billy was smiling but there was something else to his tone. You almost wouldn't notice. And you didn't but Stu did, keeps grinning.Â
"Of course. I would be lost without you!" You held the back of your hand against your forehead for dramatic effect, giggling.Â
Billy groaned playfully. "Damn what have I gotten myself into?"
You and Stu shoved him, laughing until a yawn interrupted you.Â
"Alright you two. It's time to get some sleep."
"Yes dad." Stu was rolling his eyes.Â
"Damn Stu I didn't know you were into that." You began laughing again.
"Oh you will be surprised about all the things I'm into."
He gave you a mischievous grin. Biting your lip you grinned as well.
"Can't wait to find out."
"Ok stop it you two horny fuckers."
" Pf. Just you wait until you find out what Billy's into. He actually loves it when he can ca-" Stu couldn't finish the sentence, as Billy hit him across the head.
"Ow!"
"Sleep. Now. We can get into kinks another time." With that Billy was laying down.
"I can't wait. You will be surprised what I'm into." You hummed and got comfy next to Billy, who put an arm around you.
Stu was bouncing next to you.
"Ohhh is it something freaky?"
"StuâŚ"
"No, now you got me curious!"
"Stu."
"I won't be able to sleep! Give me a hint! Please!" He was basically begging now.
You rolled your eyes.Â
"It might involve getting nicked with a knife. Now come here and sleep, I won't say more."
You could feel Billy tensing up a bit, not knowing that this little bit of information riled him up again. Stu's mouth had dropped open. Not believing what he heard. Now he was really intrigued. You could feel he was about to say something else so you stopped him before he could.
"Sleep. Now."Â
Stu cuddled close behind you. You were out like a light in seconds.
Stu and Billy looked at you.
"We really hit the jackpot with her."
"Totally!"
Billy was almost asleep when Stu spoke up again.
"You think she would let us carve an S and a B into her? Small ones of course. Maybe on her hip."
Billy groaned at that, now the idea will be stuck with him. But that was a conversation for another time.
summary: When you go to pick up Bob at the base the dagger squad finds out that Bob's been keeping a wife from them.
word count: 1k
A/N: Thanks for 3k followers!
Bob pulled his phone out of his locker as the guys all piled into the locker room behind him. There was a text from you awaiting Bob.Â
Iâm waiting in the lobby for you. Donât take too long. xoxo
âDid you guys see the hot girl in the lobby?â Coyote asked as he walked into the locker room. Bob smirked to himself as he started to take off his flight suit.Â
âWho do you think she is?â Fanboy pondered.Â
âI was gonna find out after we got changed,â Rooster said.Â
âDonât bother. Bet sheâs a recruitâs girlfriend,â Payback suggested.Â
âWho do you think?â Asked Hangman.Â
âI donât know,â Payback responded. âBut I know what a woman in love looks like.â
âSo you tell us, but weâve never seen your wife,â Rooster taunted.Â
âHer picture is on my dash,â Payback said.Â
âCould be anyone,â Fanboy joined in.Â
âYouâve met her, Fanboy,â Payback said.Â
âYou canât prove anything,â Fanboy teased. Bob was quietly enjoying the conversation as he grabbed the rest of his things. He slipped his bag over his shoulders and closed his locker.Â
âSee yâall tomorrow,â Bob said as he headed out to meet you in the lobby. When he rounded the corner his smile widened as you stood to greet him. You were wearing paint stained jeans and an old t-shirt that used to be Bobâs, but it had been years since that was true. It was yours now, just like he was.Â
âYou changed out of the flight suit,â you said forlornly when Bob walked up.Â
âIt was all sweaty, angel,â Bob told you.
âI wanted to take it off you though,â you whined. Bob gave you a cheeky grin.Â
âYou want me to put on the white uniform when I get home?â Bob offered. He leaned down and kissed you tenderly before you could answer.Â
âThe hot girl is your girlfriend?â Hangman practically shouted from behind Bob. He turned over his shoulder to see the whole squad watching the two of you.Â
âWife, actually,â Bob said. âBeen meaning to introduce ya.âÂ
âYou didnât say you have a wife!â Phoenix exclaimed.Â
âDidnât come up,â Bob said. âWeâve only known each other for a month.â Everyone gawked at Bob, thinking a month was plenty of time to let your friends know you have a wife.Â
âHe likes to keep me protected from his work,â you piped in when Bob failed to explain himself. Bob wound his fingers between yours. He lifted your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it.Â
âWhatâs your name?â Phoenix asked.Â
âY/N,â you told her.Â
âI canât believe you didnât tell me,â Phoenix murmured. You could hear in her voice that she felt betrayed by Bob. You knew he wouldnât notice though. You wanted to stop him from hurting her more.
âI keep my ring on my dog tags,â Bob said, pulling them up from his shirt to prove it.Â
âI thought it was your dadâs,â Phoenix told him. âYou always talk about him.âÂ
âBobbyâs told me a lot about you,â you interjected. âI was hoping you would have dinner with us. Iâd like to make the pilot who saved my Bobby a good meal.â Phoenix met your eye and you gave her a warm smile. She gave a tiny nod and smiled back.Â
âIâd love to, maâam,â Phoenix said.Â
âIâm her wingman,â Rooster called. âCould say that I kept Bobby safe too.â Bob blushed brightly.Â
âPayback and I were on the mission,â Fanboy said.
âI saved Bobâs wingman,â Hangman added. You looked up at Bob in question.Â
âThey know youâre the one who makes my lunches now,â Bob said. You giggled. You always made Bob his lunches. When he was deployed he didnât get good home cooked meals, so you made sure he had them three times a day when he was home with you.Â
âWell, some of you might have to sit on the couch, but Iâd be happy to cook for my husbandâs friends,â you said. Â
âI canât believe that baby on board has a wife and you donât even have a girlfriend,â Hangman teased Rooster.Â
âYou donât either,â Rooster spit back.Â
âNo woman can hold me down,â Hangman joked.Â
âHeâs the one your sister would like, right?â You asked, trying to keep your voice quiet.Â
âYouâve got a sister?â Hangman called out.Â
âYeah,â Bob said. âAnd Iâm quite sure she could hold you down if she wanted.â Hangmanâs eyes widened. You chuckled.Â
âYouâre going to set him up with your sister?â Rooster complained.Â
âThatâs y/nâs scheme. She wants my sister to live near us,â Bob explained.Â
âSheâs funnier than you, Bobby,â you said.Â
âYou do spend a lot of time laughing at me together,â Bob teased. He didnât really mind though. Everytime he had come home to find you and his sister in tears from laughing so hard it had made him even more sure that heâd chosen the right person to marry.Â
âWell, when do I get to meet her?â Hangman asked, a wide smirk on his face.Â
âIâll have her come over for dinner with all of you,â you said. âNext Sunday at 6:00. Donât be late,â you told them. Then you tugged on Bobâs hand, signaling you wanted to go home.Â
âBye, guys,â Bob said. âSee ya in the morning.â With that he slung his arm around your shoulders and led you out of the base.Â
âI canât believe Bob didnât tell us he has a wife,â Payback muttered.Â
âI canât believe Hangmanâs the first choice for his sister,â Fanboy said.Â
âWhy not? You think Bob wants to be related to any of you?â Hangman asked proudly. Rooster snorted.Â
âYes. I would have thought heâd want any of us before you.â Â
A/N: There is a part two of the dinner now available
Could I request something with James? Where reader lashes out at him and she had arguments with her ex a lot and expected this (her lash out) to get into a really big argument but heâs just like âokay notedâ and super kind about it (a little bit inspired by all my ghosts by lizzy)
(You can obviously change stuff to your liking and no pressure)
all hail lizzy mcalpine. i loved this request and i love james! thank you!
âIm serious, James!â You exclaim, a little louder than necessary. âI miss you! Youâre always at practice, or with the boys, and I love the boys! But I miss you!â
He pauses in the doorway, startled by your reaction.
Remus and Sirius miss me too, you expect him to say, or rather, I canât miss rugby cause you miss me a little more. You anticipate the sting of his words before they come, bracing yourself as you lean back against the kitchen countertop. They donât come.
âAnd I miss your hugs.â You tear up pitifully, trying again, rather weakly, as he walks over. You donât want an argument, but why isnât it coming? âYouâve been gone so much. You know I hate doing the dishes.â
He grabs ahold of your elbow, his thumb digging into the crease as he pulls you close. Your palms dig into your eyes as your forehead dips against his chest. The way your shoulders shake aches him. He should never be the reason for your tears.
Heâs been gone more recently, yes, and he feels terrible about it. If heâs not at rugby, the boys want to see him, and if heâs not with the boys, heâs at rugby. Heâs missed you so much recently, he just didnât know you mirrored his emotions.
âIâm the worst,â James says sincerely. âI didnât know I was making you feel like this.â
âIâm sorry,â you sniffle, stress evident in your choked voice. âIâm not trying to make you feel bad or guilty, by crying I mean.â
He rocks you back and forth, arms securely over your shoulders. His embrace is a little tight, but this is the longest hug youâve had this week and you canât bring yourself to say something.
âPlease donât say that, please donât feel bad for crying.â
âItâs totally manipulative though, I know, Iâm sorry.â
He pulls back, searching for something in your eyes. âWhat are you talking about?â
âItâs just-â
He looks so sad and confused as you pause midway. Helpless, like he doesnât know what to do with you. Quietly, you feel bad for giving him the crease between his brows.
âYouâre not mad?â
âMad?â James appalls. âIâm going mad knowing Iâm the dolt that made you feel like this.â
âJames-â
âIâd totally beat someone up if they treated you like this, I would hate them forever.â
âStop.â
âNo, seriously!â He doubles down. âI would never forgive them.â
Heâs so unapologetically him it aches you deeply. Heâs rosy, smiles and boyish giggles. Warm in the summer, and warm in the winter. Radiating a kind of glow that only very special people are able to emanate. Sometimes you secretly feel like youâll never be able to glow like him, but he always manages to bring it out of you when youâre around him.
You frown suddenly. âIâm so tired of missing you, Jamie.â
âI miss you too, lovely.â Heâs serious again. âHow can we get through this?â
You shrug, unused to this gentle treatment you so desperately deserve.
âShould we install weekly dates, hmm?â James asks. âWe should, shouldnât we?â
You shrug again feeling weak with emotion.
âOr tell the boys to bugger off,â he continues without giving you room to speak. âYouâre much too kind to say it but I know, my love.â
You laugh quietly, nudging your cheek against his shoulder. Heâs fond, smiling as he watches down to you.
âOh, my girl,â he croons, grabbing your warm face to cradle. âTotally not to pull the victim card, but I missed you so much more.â
âReally?â
âI moon over you while youâre away. The boys are sick of it.â
He leans down nuzzling his cheek against yours, pulling back to kiss the corner of your mouth, the side of your nose, the apple of your cheek. You donât know what to do with yourself, letting your wringing hands float up to hold his shoulders.
âThank you for telling me.â He says honestly.
You reel earnestly. Only James Potter could thank you for trying to start an argument.
a/n: it took me a bit longer as I have been quite busy this last week, but it's hereeee! I hope you like it, I have to say I love badass Y/N a lot, so thank you for the request! It's a bit shorter, but we need some variation in life, don't we? Let me know your thoughts! It's not proofread, so be aware for any minor mistakes, if there are some. Lots of loveeee. Don't forget to send in requests! I love all the requests I've gotten so far đŤśđź
ââWhat kind of snacks do you want?ââ You asked your boyfriend as you were preparing some somewhat healthy snacks before he would go live on Twitch. You were filling up a bowl with Maltesers because, letâs be honest, who doesnât like those? You then decided to grab a knife and cut the cheese and cucumber to make the tray snacks somewhat healthier.
ââCan you lay on the tray?ââ Lando wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, causing you to tilt your head when he planted soft kisses on your neck. ââYou already had that snack not too long ago, mister Norris.ââ You teased, keeping your eyes closed as you felt his hands making its way under your shirt, close to your bra.
ââNah, ah.ââ You put down the knife and took both his hands in yours, moving them down and placing them on your hips before reaching back for the knife. Your action caused him to groan, and you simply smirked as you felt how much he needed you, because letâs be honest here, it was impossible to not feel him through his jeans.
ââGrapes, mango?ââ You continued, focussing back on the tray of deliciousness in front of you. ââChocolate covered strawberries.ââ He replied, walking to the fridge. ââYeah, ehm, about thoseâŚââ You bite your lip as you looked over at the â way too perfect â McLaren driver, who happened to be your boyfriend.
ââNo, you ate them?ââ He asked, turning 45 degrees to look at you with puppy eyes. ââOh stop it! You ate my piece of cake the other day!ââ You laughed, feeling his hands on your body as he tickled you. ââLando! Stop!ââ You managed to breathe out in between your laughter.
ââYou ate my strawberries!ââ He exclaimed; his arms wrapped tightly around you as you tried to somehow escape his grasp. But he was strong, of course he was, he was a Formula One driver.
Talking about his job, you were proud of him. The two of you had been dating for a few years now, the world only finding out in your 3rd year of dating each other. You had no idea how because you never purposely tried to be secret about it. You never went out in public, never really posted about one another on your socials, either. You only really started doing that when people noticed your relationship.
You were almost done with your degree now, though. Meaning you had more time to come to some of his races. You loved going there, not only to support your boyfriend, but also to learn about all the behind the scenes of the sport. It was something that fascinated you ever since you started dating Lando.
However, you tried to stay out of the cameraâs as much as you could. You never held hands when you walked through the paddock with him; if you walked through the paddock with him. Most of the time you arrived after he did because you either had to finish some online work in the hotel room, or because you wanted to stay out of the spotlight.
You never really enjoyed being in front of the cameraâs, hence why you were so invested in all the behind-the-scenes stuff. It wasnât because you werenât confident enough, not at all, because you were, and thatâs something Lando always admired about you, especially when you started to receive hate. You just never thought being in front of the camera suited you, those cameras around you, people asking questions, it just annoyed you, and you decided you didnât want to take a part of it.
It didnât mean you never supported him, though. You were always there for him, and he knew. He never complained, he never told you you werenât supportive, no. He loved how your relationship was different than the ones from all the other WAGS, he felt like he wasnât sharing you with the entire world, that you were just his, and thatâs exactly how you felt, too.
ââGood evening chat! Long-time no see, ey?ââ You heard Landoâs smile through the words he just spoke, waving at the camera as he leaned back in his chair. He glanced over at you, his eyes gliding over you before quickly shooting you a wink. You laughed and rolled your eyes at his action, simply knowing the chat would comment on his wink.
ââIâm good, enjoying the off season as much as I can.ââ He smirked. ââArenât we, babe?ââ He asked and you got up, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. ââI for sure am.ââ You winked before walking to the kitchen to get your snacks.
You always were seated outside of the cameraâs view. As much as you loved staying out of the cameras at the track, you did the same whenever he streamed. You never did it purposely, though. You never hid away from the cameras; you simply never purposely were in front of them.
ââGrabbing snacks!ââ You yelled from the kitchen when you heard Lando read the comments. âWhatâs Y/N doing?â and âWhereâs your girlfriend going?â
ââSheâs getting snacks, chat. You wonât believe it, but we actually prepared those for tonight.ââ He smirked, sipping his water as he read through the comments. ââWe?ââ You asked, raising an eyebrow with a smile. ââRight, sorry chat, my lovely girlfriend Y/N prepared the snacks.ââ He said, watching you placing the tray of delicious food in front of him.
ââIâm just missing one snack on here, but sadly thereâs not enough room on the tray for that.ââ
âOMG HE DID NOT JUST SAY THATâ
âHAHAHAHA Lando naughty naughty boyâ
âDUUUUUUDE LANDO WHAT LMAOâ
You sat down next to him, your legs over his as you grabbed a Malteser from the tray. ââYouâre very original with your jokes tonight, Norris.ââ You smirked, reaching for your phone before you opened TikTok, keeping yourself entertained when Lando continued his stream.
He loved this about you, he loved the fact that even though he was live, streaming and being in front of cameras, you never backed down. You never changed when the cameras were there, you always stayed yourself. That was probably the thing he admired most about you, and things he definitely learned from you.
As the hours went by, the tray of food was nearly empty. You got up a few times to go to the bathroom, get something to drink, get some more snacks and so on. Lando got up to go to the bathroom for the second time this evening, leaving you alone with chat.
You kissed his lips before he left the room, you simply deciding to pop up in front of the camera this time. You read some messages, smiling as they told you you looked beautiful. ââAw, thanks guys, or girls, thatâs sweet.ââ You replied, leaning your chin on your hand as you continued reading a few more comments.
The second you heard him coming back in the room, you commented on a question in the chat, Lando sitting next to you with a smile on his face. He loved it when you interacted with his fans, which you sometimes did. Itâs not like you were completely offline when it came to the fame he carried with him, you just never really bothered to become an influencer like some others did.
ââNah, ah, Norris, they are asking me questions now.ââ You teased, holding your hand up when he started to talk again.
âHAHA Y/Nâs such a vibeâ
âYeah Lando, weâre chatting with your girl now!â
He simply chuckled, pecking your lips when you looked at him and he then enjoyed the scenery he saw in front of him.
After a while, you got up from your chair, going to the kitchen to refill your glass of water for the fourth time that evening, and made your way back to the room when you heard your boyfriend reading some comments out aloud.
âY/N doesnât love him, she never holds his hand in the paddock, what a supportive WAG.â
You furrowed your eyebrows at that comment, and just as Lando was about to say something to defend you, you put your glass of water on the table in front of you.
ââLast time I checked, my job title wasnât âWAGâ. Iâm an engineer, not a runway model.ââ
Lando looked at you, amazed, proud, and smiling like an idiot. ââYou heard her, chat.ââ He smirked. ââThatâs my girl.ââ He whispered happily.
The end of the stream was nearing, and you got up to head to bed. ââGoodnight, babe, Iâll see you in a bit.ââ You whispered before placing a kiss on his lips, smiling against them as he returned the favour. You glanced over at chat one last time, feeling Landoâs hand on the back of your upper leg.
ââNext time Iâll open the âWAGs Handbookâ to catch up on some of my duties.ââ You smirked at the chat. ââGoodnight chat, sleep tight.ââ You blew them a kiss before walking out of the room, heading straight to bed.
Not long after you positioned yourself in the king-size bed Lando had in his bedroom, you heard the door opening; your boyfriend making his way to you. ââYouâre amazing, please never change.ââ He whispered and pressed his lips on yours, firmly.
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk thatâs probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count:Â 14.8k
Series Masterlist
Status:Â Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isnât the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesnât smile, he doesnât appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesnât help that heâs incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. Youâve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist đś: on the way home
A/N: I've been thoroughly enjoying your asks and replies about this story (sorry I canât get to each one!) I see that a lot can relate to what OC's going through and I'm sending you hugs! đ¤ Again, I appreciate your love and excitement. And uh... Golden JK in that white tank. YUP. đ¤ Hoping you enjoy this one!
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight đĽ°
PS. If I canât tag you, pls fix your settings!
The spring in your step tightens the closer you get to Jungkookâs penthouse the next Monday. Walking here to start another week, thereâs a mix of emotions youâre carrying with you.Â
You got to spend a proper weekend. On Friday, you made yourself some cold noodles and then watched a movie with Jimin and Soomin on video call, whoâd said theyâll be visiting you in a week. You took the train to Daegu on Saturday, went to the park, then stayed in to enjoy Min-wooâs cooking and the girlsâ stories about school and their youth clubs. You then buried yourself in your motherâs embrace as you told her about your week. You didnât want to say too much, not wanting her to worry that her daughter isnât being treated well at her job, but you suppose you said enough.Â
âI wish I was strong enough to protect you from everything,â sheâd told you softly. âAll I can do is just give you hugs and say words of encouragement that might not even mean much.â
âAnd you still are, mom. I look forward to being with you because of those hugs. But more than that, you were strong enough to protect me from the bad guys,â youâd assured her. âJungkook is many things but heâs not a terrible person. I can handle him.â
And you meant it. He may be hot-tempered sometimes but heâs not evil. But just because he made you go home early last Friday, it also doesnât mean heâs suddenly redeemed in your mind. Sure, he didnât email you at all over the weekend unlike last time, but he also still didnât apologize to you nor show remorse.Â
Perhaps that small nod after he called you telling you that you could go home was his way of saying sorry, or maybe it just isnât in his vocabulary. You wonder if Hoseok had told him off but even then, itâs a pretty quick change, if you could call it that.Â
Regardless, you felt like a human being again these past few days; you just wish Jungkook woke up on the right side of the bed this morning and doesnât find a reason to complain about you.Â
Unlocking the door, youâre surprised to hear silence - there are no grunts and deep breaths nor the sound of leather hitting leather from his morning workout. You scan the floor before walking around - a habit youâve developed after finding that laced underwear last week - and then peep into the door on the right, only to find untouched equipment and no other traces of him.Â
Youâre in the living room when you hear another door close, prompting you to turn around and see a woman appearing from the hallway on the other side of the penthouse. Her hairâs a bit disheveled and sheâs wearing one of Jungkookâs coats that you saw in his closet.Â
âUh, who are you?â The woman scoffs, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised now.Â
Taken aback, you just stare at her, until you realize sheâs not wearing anything underneath so you look away.
You try to make sense of who she is and how you could get out of this situation. You know for a fact that Jungkook doesnât have a girlfriend, at least thatâs what Lucas had told you, but who knows what Jungkookâs been up to since he got back? There was that red laced underwear from last week after all. Maybe he does sleep around like what Do-hyun said. Maybe this woman just doesnât know Jungkook has a female assistant. Maybe heâsâ
âHey, Iâm talking to you,â she says, sounding more annoyed now.Â
âOh. Uh, Iâm Mr. Jeonâsââ
âSheâs my assistant,â Jungkook answers, catching you off guard, given that you hadnât noticed him walk in.Â
Heâs not in his usual workout attire, although him in a white tank top and gray sweatpants with mussed hair somehow seems more overwhelming than him in nothing but gym shorts. You glance at him as he stands next to the woman, whose face suddenly lights up. Not wanting to look at her, you shift your gaze towards the ceiling, trying hard not to look awkward as youâre rooted in place.Â
The woman looks at you from head to toe and you feel her judging you, assessing you, while Jungkook stands there, yawning and combing his hair with his fingers.
âJust your assistant?â She asks, sounding incredulous.Â
âYeah. What else would she be?â Jungkook answers nonchalantly. Looking at you, he nods ever so slightly that you almost miss it, another hint of acknowledgement youâd seen last Friday. âJust eggs on toast. And coffee.â
âYes, Mr. Jeon,â you say, exhaling the breath you were holding and then walking to the kitchen to start on his breakfast.Â
âI donât know, another one of your girls? I see you with a new one every time,â she huffs, sounding bitter, but Jungkook doesnât sound amused.
âWhat are you still doing here?â He asks, walking to where you are then taking the glass of water you prepare for him. âI called a service for you last night.â
âI was too tired,â she says, and you donât miss the sultry tone of her voice now. âYou tired me out, Jungkook. I could barely get off the bed.â
âAnd why are you still here?â He asks, clearly not having it with her teasing.Â
âBecause Iâm still tired,â she smirks, having followed him to the kitchen.Â
You feel tense once more; you definitely donât want to be part of this conversation in any way nor be privy to it, especially given what obviously happened between them last night. And especially not with Jungkook looking and sounding the way he does this early Monday morning.
âAnd I was thirsty,â she continues.Â
He sets his glass down and opens the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of water that he hands over to her.Â
âUgh, how romantic,â she rolls her eyes, finishing it in a few gulps.Â
âI have to go to work,â he tells her, frustrated that sheâs being stubborn about not leaving when he no longer seems to want her around.Â
âActual work, or, you know, work?â She says, gesturing towards you.
You make the mistake of looking at her smug face, the insinuation not lost on you. Itâs insane how she can just make claims like that, and you feel that just like you, Jungkookâs getting pissed.
âCan you just leave?â He says much more sternly now. âI canât start my day with you still here.â
âOoh, how rude,â she giggles. âShouldâve expected youâd be like that even outside of bed. I like that.â
She walks back to the room, leaving you and Jungkook on your own. You continue to work on his eggs while he stands by the counter, rubbing his temples. Youâre unsure if itâs because of her or from last nightâs alcohol, but you get aspirin and also a bottle of energy drink and set them in front of him before returning to preparing his meal.Â
The woman comes back shortly in last nightâs attire then walks towards Jungkook.
âIâm leaving,â she announces, tilting his chin so he would face her. âIâll see you again, yeah?â
Jungkook turns away and does not respond, leaving her to laugh as if thereâs a joke that only sheâs in on.
âGoing all quiet on me now, huh?â She says. âYou werenât like that last night. I can still hear your moans, actually. Fuck, they sounded so good and so loud.â
You almost hit your finger as you slice the apple, clearly not expecting for this stranger to say something so intimate, knowing thereâs another person in the room with them. You donât know if she wants to intimidate you for whatever reason or maybe just make you feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, itâs working, as youâre unable to focus on the task at hand now.Â
Jungkook still doesnât say anything, and itâs what prompts her to finally say goodbye.Â
âFine, Iâll leave now,â she whines. âBut that was an amazing first time. I hope it wonât be the last.â
Her giggle annoys you for some reason, even more when you mistakenly look her way. Her smug face unnerves you as she holds your gaze while she says, âIâll see you again, okay? Iâll make sure youâll scream my name next time,â the words obviously directed at Jungkook.Â
She finally exits the penthouse but she doesnât take the tension with her because in this large apartment with you and him, you feel a little too hot, a little too alert, yet somehow a little too curious.
Jungkook groans now as he finishes his energy drink, and he doesnât know what heâs more frustrated about - the fact that the woman whose name he doesnât remember didnât go home, or that youâd found out about it in the most embarrassing way and heâd done nothing to stop her attempts at making you feel uncomfortable because thatâs definitely what she was doing.Â
He doesnât know how it affected you but even he can tell that it wouldnât have been good. Not that heâs ashamed of his lifestyle but itâs different when you, of all people, get to see what that looks like. You did see the laced underwear on his kitchen floor last week, and he knows you definitely tried to pretend you hadnât. Perhaps the image of arrogant, playboy Jungkook just solidified in your head and the fact that maybe thatâs what you think of him is making him feel uneasy.Â
Not that he cares about what you think - he definitely does not - but he just doesnât want that to affect how you would treat him in a professional sense, as if heâs some reckless man who works too hard and parties much harder, even if thatâs kind of what he does.Â
The hangover doesnât help at all; he shouldnât have chugged that wine while the woman was giving him head, which was amazing, he reminds himself. He just knows he wonât be seeing her again after this morning because sheâd been stubborn and shameless, and definitely not because of how she spoke to you and the insinuations she made.
âMr. Jeon, your breakfast is ready,â you inform him, breaking him out of his thoughts.Â
He takes a seat on the table and you sit next to him, taking out your iPad to start your rundown of last Fridayâs meeting and this weekâs schedule.Â
âSoââ
âWait, give me a minute,â he stops you, and he realizes just how little sleep he actually got and heâs gonna have to push through todayâs busy schedule despite feeling physically out of it.Â
âOkay, sir,â you say softly.
He munches on his toast with his eyes closed, and when he opens them, his gaze falls on you, sitting upright on the chair looking clean and proper in your blush blouse and beige skirt. You seem to be reviewing the reports from last week, your eyebrows scrunched as you scribble on the screen. He knows you took the hours-long trip to and from Daegu over the weekend; the visit, just like any, must have been tiring. Yet you come to his place everyday without fail, ready to do what he needs you to do, and he doesnât even know if youâve had anything to eat yet.Â
âHave you had breakfast?â He asks.
âE-excuse me?â
âBreakfast. Have you had it?â
âO-oh. Yes, I had some crackers and fruit on the way. I ate on the bus,â you respond.
He remembers your address from your staff profile. You live about 40 minutes from him, almost double if you commute. You come at 6:30 everyday, so he can only imagine what itâs like for you every morning.Â
âWhy donât you drive?â
âI donât have a car, sir.â
âShouldnât that be part of your contract? Or a benefit of some sort?â
âIt isnât. I believe only the CEOâs assistant does,â you respond.Â
âBitna has a company car.â
âMs. Jung requested that when she was still President.â
âThen Iâll request one for you. It's⌠itâs too early. And you canât always be assured of public transportation. There could be delays. Or an emergency that would require you to drive.â
Of course, heâd want you to get a car so that youâre more accessible to him. Just when you thought thereâs actually a bit of his heart working this time, he reminds you why there isnât.
âThatâs true, but nothing has happened so far. And there are other options should there be,â you say. âI also donât know how to drive so there is no need, Mr. Jeon. I leave my apartment early enough to make sure I get here on time, and Iâll let you know if I will be late.â
Jungkook just hums, even if thereâs more he wants to know. What about late nights? What if thereâs a storm? Well, he does know - he did see you miss out on taxis and then just walk last Tuesday; he wonders how you got home then, and how many hours of sleep you had after all that.Â
He lets it go; itâs too early to think about this.
âGood. We can run through the minutes now,â he says.
So you do, stating the points and confirming your actions for each one and then noting down his as well. You try to focus, and youâre able to for the most part, but itâs not easy when he sits just a few feet away from you, with his bare arms propped on the table thatâs just hard to look away from.Â
Youâve always liked tattoos on other people, and the art on his right arm looks so delicate and personal; you wonder what someone like him would value enough to ink permanently on his skin. Even his untouched arm is mesmerizing, toned like every other part of him, with beauty marks that you spot as well. It doesnât help that his slightly long hair keeps falling over his eyes, prompting him to comb them with his fingers every time.Â
What also doesnât help are the womanâs words from earlier, as sheâd managed to make you think of Jungkook in a very different way, given her descriptions of how heâd been last night. You donât know what she intended by doing that, but you didnât miss her insinuations about your relations with him, which are definitely far from the truth. Learning that heâs rough and loud in bed is also knowledge that you couldâve done without. Somehow, he sounds like how he looks - expressive of negative emotions, and the type to drain the other person.Â
He also sounds like the guys youâve slept with.
The thought alarms you. These are things you shouldnât be thinking about your boss, about the man who pays you, about the one who makes you miss meals and buses and who makes you angry because of how he treats you.Â
You try to dispel these ideas by coughing - the loud sound helps, and you also want to distract yourself from how distracted you are at your task because somehow he keeps getting more and more attractive after every glance.Â
He stands up, and just when you thought heâd be angry after your disruption, he surprises you by placing a glass of water in front of you.
âYou can drink, you know? You can make yourself a cup of coffee. You can even cook yourself breakfast if itâs just crackers you eat in the morning,â he says.Â
Yes, you think to yourself. Youâve been wanting to try his coffee because of the fancy machine but breakfast sounds⌠too domestic.Â
âThank you, but Iâm okay. I mean, the snacks fill me up just fine.â
âItâs not proper breakfast, though,â he argues.Â
âWith all due respect, sir, eating takes time away from all the things I have to do. I manage just fine.â
Expecting an annoyed expression from him because you did just imply that you do too much, you instead see the tiniest hint of guilt on his face, as if he actually feels bad that youâre unable to take care of yourself because of him.Â
âYouâre not a servant, Ms. Cho. Youâre not disallowed to do basic things just because of your job.â
âYou have standards, Mr. Jeon,â you say, throwing his words back at him. You donât expect to see his face fall a little, and youâre surprised that you seem to care. âI need to meet them, and Iâm still familiarizing myself with how you want things done, and that takes time. I donât mean to imply that you treat me like a servant because you donât. I just⌠I want to be able to do things right and Iâm still learning.â
The words hit Jungkook. He knows heâd been too critical during these first weeks, and thatâs more because heâs unable to manage the initial attraction that heâs trying so hard to temper. He couldâve gone on correcting you constructively, with no need for harshness the way he did with Lucas when he started.Â
Youâve also been doing this for a few years. Youâve been working for the VPâs office longer than he has - you know the people and the processes more, yet youâre the one claiming you need to learn and do things right. Even he thinks his father, whom he never thought was the best at looking out for his people, wouldnât be angry at those below him for irrational reasons. Somehow he thinks heâs worse than his old man now.Â
But the word sorry isnât in his vocabulary. Heâd rarely ever said it, and the only reason heâd heard it a lot growing up was because people caused his inconvenience, and not because theyâd hurt his feelings. He doesnât know what thatâs like - forgiving and wanting to be forgiven. Theyâre foreign to him, but somehow those are what youâre making him want to know.Â
âIââ
âCan we move on, Mr. Jeon?â You interrupt him. âYou have a scheduled check-in with your father before the 8:30 team meeting.â
âRight, thatâs today,â Jungkook says, letting go of any form of apology he could muster.Â
He nods then stands up to head to his bathroom, and you follow shortly after to arrange his outfits for the week. You clean up in the kitchen after and wait for him to come out, with you reflexively walking up to him to fix his tie and make sure all the creases on his clothes are fixed.Â
Jungkook tries to remain still as you, like everyday, make sure he looks proper. It always took him a long time to get ready because he used to do all this on his own, but with you taking on the unofficial stylist role - which he admits you do a great job at - heâs relieved of that added stress of looking the part of a Vice President. It just also means that every morning, he has to look unaffected as you stand close to him like this, with you tightening his tie and your fingers grazing his clothed chest.
You smell like roses. It feels warm and nostalgic, like itâs familiar but also something new. Itâs refreshing on you, and it wafts through his nose and paralyzes him a little. He tries to hold his breath like always, only briefly glancing at your focused eyes as you make sure he looks impeccable.Â
Heâs caught off guard when you look up and meet his gaze. He doesnât react, but he does linger and surprisingly, so do you. He wants to apologize but he doesnât know how to. He just hopes you feel it somehow with how he looks at you; heâd like to think you do, as you gently bow and step back, taking your things to go down.Â
You go through his schedule while in the car, noting his dinner meetings and that the food tasting for next monthâs event with the art industry professionals that youâre both organizing has been moved to next week, freeing up his Thursday lunch hour.
âIâll schedule my visit at Taehyungâs tailor shop that day then,â Jungkook states. âIâll have a few suits done.â
âNoted, Mr. Jeon,â you reply, adjusting his calendar.Â
He doesnât say anything after. He takes his leather notebook and sketches like he often does, looking out his window only a few times as heâs engrossed in his drawings. Even with all that he is, you canât deny Jungkookâs talent. You only know he took an architecture course but you donât know if he actually practices it.Â
You start to wonder if Jungkook wanted that to be his profession but couldnât pursue it because heâs expected to manage the company with his cousin. You wonder if heâd always been into drawing and the arts, if it was an outlet the way reading picture books was for you; youâd wanted to become an illustrator but your mother couldnât afford drawing classes and that profession just didnât seem like it could sustain you financially. You wonder what Jungkook thinks when he sketches and what his subjects are, if he feels at peace the way he looks, if he hopes he could just spend his days doing this.Â
The seeming warmth in your thoughts about this man concerns you, prompting you to turn away from his direction and stare out the window instead. You remind yourself that this is the same person whoâd made the past two weeks miserable for you; he doesnât deserve warmth from you in any form, even if, for the briefest moment earlier after you fixed his tie, thatâs what you gave him. You learned that heâs quite mesmerizing when he doesnât talk or when he isnât scowling. You also learned youâre quite quick to fall into it when you let your guard down a little.Â
You groan internally. Thereâs a lot you donât know about him and you donât really care to know more; what you know is enough to put you off anyway. And so these moments of weakness - of curiosity, of concern -Â should not happen again.Â
Except, they do happen, over an hour later after Jungkook returns to his room from his check-in with his father. He sits on his chair, his eyes closed and jaws clenched, unmoving for a good few minutes, and you watch from your seat, wondering what transpired thatâs got him this disturbed.Â
It happens again an hour later. He moved the team meeting to the afternoon and heâs now furiously typing on his desktop, making calls, sketching, making calls again, then sitting still with his eyes closed once more. Hoseok walks in, merely nodding at you, then enters the room and speaks with the younger man. Jungkook closes the blinds, and youâre left to wonder whatâs going on behind closed doors and whatâs got him angry and frustrated.
You take your chance at finding out when Hoseok emerges, asking him if everythingâs okay, if Jungkook is okay.
âYeah, heâs fine,â Hoseok says, a half smile on display, something youâre only a tad familiar with. âHeâll manage.â
He rushes out, saying he has a meeting to get to, and you nod, glancing at the closed door and blocked window, wondering what troubles Jungkook is handling on his own. If itâs personal, itâs clearly not your business. But if itâs work-related, then it is. Youâre there to make things easier for him, after all. You also donât want to be surprised and be bombarded by new tasks just in case, so itâs better to know if thereâs something you can help in resolving things as well.
You walk in his room then place the ginger lemon tea on his desk, a common home remedy for hangovers, just in case last nightâs events are still affecting him. You inform him that youâve sent the reports already for his sign-off, and he responds that heâll get to them tomorrow.
Glancing at his drink, he halts his typing to look at you.Â
âDo I look hungover to you?â He asks pointedly.
Itâs clearly not what you meant, but you suppose the insinuation isnât what he needs right now. You want to be swallowed by the ground. He was already calm towards you, civil even, and now thereâs another reason for him to be upset at you. You wanted to avoid any possibility of that as much as possible, and now youâre here, at the verge of being told off again, just because your stupid brain decided to care the tiniest bit.
âI, uh, no, Mr. Jeon,â you stutter. âI justâŚâ
You donât have a reason. Clearly, you canât tell him that he hasnât seemed okay all morning - whatever that means - and that just in case itâs last nightâs alcohol affecting him, thereâs a cure. You stare back at him with worry, but instead of challenging or questioning you, he just sits back with his eyes closed again and dismisses you.Â
âYou may leave,â he instructs.Â
âWhat about lunch, sir?â You ask.Â
Youâd never cared before, why the change now?Â
âIâm fine,â he responds. âCall me when the meetingâs about to start.â
Your stubborn self takes the box of biscuits from the coffee table and places it in front of him. Youâre pushing it, you think, but thereâs a meeting heâll be leading and he canât be unfocused; when he is, itâs all the worse for you.Â
He doesnât react and you walk out. When you enter an hour later to call him, you spot the empty cup and the crumbs on the saucer, and you canât help the tiny smile that you make internally.
Itâs short-lived though, as that whole afternoon, he acts unusually - he barely makes comments at updates, he doesnât make eye contact, and doesnât ask further questions. He just nods when you say youâre heading out at 6PM, giving you no added tasks to keep you from leaving.
You enter his penthouse the next morning to the banging of leather hitting leather, prompting you to jerk from the loud sounds. Heâs grunting and panting heavily, and you just know that whatever it was that transpired yesterday, heâs releasing all his emotions right now, through this.Â
He exits the gym and walks to the counter where you are, finishing the water you laid for him in three gulps.Â
âDo you need that tended to?â You ask.Â
He looks surprised. You gesture towards his hands and he looks at his bruised knuckles; he really let it all out this morning, it seems.Â
âIâm fine,â he shrugs.Â
You didnât think those two words from him would ever make you feel discouraged, but one thing youâve come to learn about Jungkook is that he easily expresses his anger and frustration towards other people. Itâs when he keeps things in that they seem more serious, and you wonder what words he heard yesterday that might have made him this closed off, this quiet, this much more distant.
But fortunately, your feeling of worry fades with each day that passes, as he slowly returns to his normal self after - the focus, the perpetually serious look, the attention to detail, the sketching on his notebook. Perhaps Jungkook just needed a particular kind of release and heâs maybe handling things better now.Â
For his sake and yours, you wish the issue has been resolved, otherwise another blow up might happen and that wouldnât be good for your newfound dynamic thatâs a lot more civil than anything.Â
Itâs Thursday when you get a call at 5 in the morning, just as youâve woken up to get ready for work, and Mr. Riâs voice greets you on the other end.
âHi, ___. How are you this morning?â
âHi, Mr. Ri,â you yawn, curious as to why heâs checking up on you this early. âIs everything okay?â
âYes,â he hums. âI was instructed by Mr. Jeon to pick you up today.â
âWhy would CEO Jeon ask that?â You wonder, as you sleepily walk to the bathroom to wash up.
âHe didnât. Jungkook did.â
You stop on your tracks. You donât recall being informed about this, nor do you know of any particular reason why you should be at his place so soon.
âOh, uhm, okay. I should be ready inââ
âIâll be there in about 50 minutes,â Mr. Ri interjects. âSleep in a bit more and have some breakfast. Iâll see you shortly.â
You try not to think about what prompted Jungkook to have you picked up, so you focus on getting ready and then whipping yourself some fried rice using the leftover seafood from last night. You wonât lie, it tastes delicious. It might be that you just havenât had proper weekday breakfast in a while, but it could also be that youâre energized enough and not pressed for time that youâre able to make this as good as it is.Â
You decide to bring some to Jungkookâs place just in case you get there late. Sure, Mr. Ri will be driving you, but you donât know how the traffic is at this time, and this change in schedule is somewhat making you anxious. But then again, thereâs always bread or cereal for him to eat; you just think that a little act of thanks wouldnât be so bad.
Mr. Ri arrives exactly 50 minutes later and he assures you that heâll get you to the penthouse in half an hour. You trust him of course; heâs been with the Jeons for decades and he knows these streets like the back of his hand. Seated in the passenger seat, you try to figure out what about today has got your boss a little kinder than usual.Â
âI arrived five minutes late yesterday,â you wonder out loud. âIs that why? He has a meeting with a local artist in the morning and he doesnât want me to be late. That should be it. Ugh, stupid,â you groan. âI shouldâve taken the first bus I saw, but it was so full andââ
â___,â Mr. Ri stops you. âFive minutes isnât much. Plus, you always arrive 10 minutes before 6:30 and then just wait at the lobby. I donât know why you do, you could always just go up to the penthouse when you get there, you know?â
âNo, I donât. Mr. Jeon has boundaries and clearly likes keeping his distance. Going to his penthouse before Iâm supposed to be there feels like Iâm intruding,â you argue.
âYouâre literally his assistant, and you go to his bedroom and his closet, fix his things, prepare his meals⌠thereâs no intrusion happening,â Mr. Ri counters. âI know the man. Heâll probably just look at you curiously then go about his routine.â
âWell, since you know him so well, then why did he have me picked up this morning?â
Thereâs a brief silence before the man next to you responds.
âHe did note that you were late for the first time, but that wasnât his issue,â Mr. Ri says, appeasing you before you react negatively and think that your tardiness was a big deal. âHe asked if I knew how you got to Hoseokâs place before and I said you would just take the bus; it was closer to your place so it was fine. They have someone to make his breakfast, too, so you didnât need to come early; plus, you only went every Monday.â
âWhat a change, huh?â You attempt to poke fun at yourself and the new arrangement youâre in.Â
Not that youâre complaining; you know of other executive assistants who do much more for their bosses and what you have with Jungkook isnât even that bad. But it is quite the shift compared to what you did for Hoseok. Youâve figured out your own routine, though. And the commute isnât always terrible, for as long as youâre not one of the unlucky ones, given the recent incidents.Â
âItâs quite the change. I donât think he realized that until yesterday. He also asked me if I know if you eat properly in the morning. Maybe he thinks you donât?â
âIâve skipped mealsâŚâ you trail. âAnd well, I told him that I just eat crackers on the bus. Maybe he thinks Iâm losing focus some days.â
âMaybe heâs just concerned.â
You snort at the absurdity of the statement.Â
Mr. Ri sighs. He knows that Jungkook hasnât been his best self since he arrived in Seoul, and especially towards you. Heâs noticed the young manâs indifference, the occasional passive remark, the frustrated looks, and the tension every morning. Heâs noticed your faraway eyes, too, your constant anxiety, and unusual lack of confidence in your usual tasks, given that you look to be second-guessing everything you do.Â
As someone whoâs worked for the Jeons for so long and whoâd watched Jungkook grow up, heâs used to the detachment, but it was always because the young man often lived in his own head. There are always lots of thoughts and ideas, and lots of feelings he keeps bottled in.Â
But heâs also seen Jungkookâs kindness that he doesnât always show, the guilt and anger that restrain him from expressing his emotions, and the care that he seems to put a brake on when he shows too much of it to someone, and so it isnât much of a surprise to him to him when the young man gave this specific instruction to pick you up, not just today but everyday moving forward.
âThe news on the radio reported on the robberies and complaints of sexual harassment against female commuters last night,â Mr. Ri continues. âThey attack at any hour now. Iâm sure thatâs why. He wants me to drive you home everyday, too.â
âMr. Ri, thatâs too much,â you protest. âThatâs not part of my contract and it isnât his responsibility.â
âMaybe, precisely why I think heâs concerned. It isnât about making sure youâre not late to work or anything. Heâs worried that something might happen to you. And I agree. It isnât safe, ___.â
âItâs not safe for me anywhere. I just⌠itâs too much,â you sigh. âI donât need this kind of service. Iâm not entitled to it.â
âHeâll insist though. Will you argue with him over your own security? I mean, itâs either this or heâll pay for your driving lessons and then request for a car for you to use.â
You sigh, knowing he has a point. You donât think you deserve it but you also canât deny that the concern makes you feel a certain kind of way for him; gratitude, for one, and something else you canât exactly name.Â
âOkay,â you say softly.Â
âGood. Itâs about time he makes it up to you,â he chuckles. âBoyâs been a brat these past weeks. I wanted to just knock some sense into him.â
âHmm, not like I expected any less,â you huff. âHe just looked grumpy or disinterested during the times Iâve seen him before. Unhappy people like that arenât always the kindest. Has he always been that way?â
âI wouldnât say he has. I mean, he just wasnât joyful or expressive, not like his brother. Jungkook liked to keep to himself; Hoseok often tried to push him out of his comfort zone but the boy wouldnât really budge. I think as he grew up, that just amplified. People who prefer being alone have their reasons, donât they?â
They do. You know this just like anyone, perhaps as much as Jungkook. Itâs comfortable being alone; thereâs no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt. You wonder if his reason is the same, and if, like you, he feels the loneliness creep in every once in a while.Â
You nod in silence and the conversation doesnât continue until you arrive at Jungkookâs building. You have five minutes to get to his unit and you get there in three. When you enter, you hear grunting from the gym, and itâs shortly after when he exits and drinks the glass of water on the counter.
âWhatâs that?â He gestures at the plastic container next to you.
âItâs fried rice. I made it this morning because I had time to eat breakfast at home,â you say, softly smiling and then bowing at him to show your gratitude. Whatever his reason is, the act was appreciated.Â
âAnd youâre gonna eat again?â
âI was actuallyââ
You stop midway. You actually meant to serve it to him in case you arrived late, which you realize is pretty ridiculous.Â
âActually what?â He asks, leaning forward on the counter now, with his bare arms from his tank top blinding you a little.Â
âI didnât know what time I was gonna get here so I thought as a last resort, Iâll bring this to heat up and serve to you but then I realized that thatâs pretty stupid because itâs leftovers and definitely not high-quality ingredients and itâs⌠just silly. Plus, you donât eat rice in the morning.â
With his scrunched brows, he asks, âis it good?â
âItâs pretty delicious,â you say. âI mean, I liked it. I donât know how sophisticated your palate is⌠Mr. Jeon.â
You smack yourself internally for rambling.Â
âWhatâs that got to do with anything? If itâs good, then itâs good.â
âIâm an ordinary person, Mr. Jeon. I have normal peopleâs taste buds.â
âSo that makes me, what? Abnormal?â
âNo⌠Iââ you unknowingly pout. You shouldnât have brought this in the first place.Â
Jungkook is disarmed again at the sight of your pouty face. If this is your way of thanking him for this morning, heâll take it. The fact that youâd brought something you cooked from your own place to feed to him is already enough to make him feel hazy, which is why he needs to get away from you right away.
âJust heat it up. Iâll have that. Thereâs not much food in here anyway,â he says, walking away, leaving you no room to resist.
You do as youâre told, not wanting to overthink and change anything. You do check the cupboard and see a stashed pantry, and you wonder if heâd wanted to find something to criticize about your cooking, too.Â
He walks in and lets you fix his tie again, and for some reason, you feel more nervous than you normally do today. You sit and busy yourself with responding to emails as he eats his breakfast, careful not to look at him while he does.
âItâs good, a little better than how I do mine,â he says, surprising you.
âYou cook?â You ask too quickly.
âOf course,â he frowns, looking a little offended. âI lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?â
âHiring people to do it for you,â you shrug.Â
Peeking at him once again, you see that heâs almost finished with the dish, and you canât help the little smile on your face at the thought that he might actually enjoy it. Itâs just fried rice, but you let yourself feel the shallow happiness from this. Heâs at least not berating you or anything.
He finishes his meal as you go through yesterdayâs meetings. Thereâs not much about the Arts Center he says, just like yesterday and the day before, and you start to wonder if the issue with his father has anything to do with that.Â
You let it go, opting to just follow his pace and let him talk about it when heâs ready, if he ever will be.Â
The morning goes by smoothly. Jungkook meets with Yoongi in his office then reviews the reports youâd sent last Monday. He sends you an email, saying that theyâve been approved and for you to attach his signature for sign-off and dissemination, leaving you perplexed at the lack of any other comments again.Â
He goes for a quick lunch at the dining hall while you eat a sandwich at the pantry, and not long after, youâre back in the car to head to Jungkookâs appointment with his best friend.
Kim Taehyungâs tailor shop boasts of classic European design. Itâs elegant in all the ways that he is, as he stands by the desk in his working space, a smaller room on the mezzanine floor with an exquisite couch and displays of his work. Heâs donned in an orange suit that you think only he can pull off, while his brother, Seokjin, sits on a chair in an impeccable black 3-piece.Â
You know as much that Jungkook grew up with both men, but while the brothers are often a hot topic on the news because of their wealth, their successful businesses, and colorful dating lives, you now wonder how Jungkook managed to stay out of the spotlight despite being a lot of the things that they are.Â
You bow at them after Jungkook introduces you as his assistant, and youâre surprised when Seokjin reaches out his hand to shake yours, bowing as well and offering you a kind smile. Taehyung does the same, and you canât help but feel the warmth on your cheeks. Theyâre clearly incredibly handsome men with amazing styles, just like your boss, but theyâre obviously respectful and gentle, unlike him.Â
âNice to meet you, Ms. Cho,â Taehyung smiles. âSo, what events do I need to dress my best friend for?â
He looks warm, friendly, and you canât help but mirror his smile as he offers you a seat and some tea. You take out your calendar and enumerate at least three big events in the next months, which would require standout designs. Jungkook also wants four additional everyday classic suits, and Taehyung starts sketching on his pad as you speak.Â
âMake one for my event, too,â Seokjin says. âIâm launching my traditional alcohol brand in Singapore in September. Itâll be a big thing so Jungkook needs a fancy piece for that as well.â
âThat soon?â Jungkook asks.
âYeah, it got pushed early,â Seokjin replies.
Jungkook asks you to check his calendar for any activities in the Singapore office, and you state that thereâs nothing scheduled during that time.Â
âThereâs a landscape designer I want to meet while Iâm there. Schedule one with her later,â Jungkook instructs you, and you make a note to coordinate with Lucas, who will continue to serve as the assigned assistant for the Vice Presidentâs Southeast Asia trips.Â
Taehyung finishes the rough designs quickly, given that heâs already familiar with the style his client wants. Heâs done a lot of Jungkookâs suits, which you know from all the weeks of preparing his clothes, and you do admit that he looks best in these custom-made pieces.
As Taehyung takes Jungkookâs measurements - given that, as per his words, Jungkook has gotten wider since the last time - he asks if you have something to wear for those big events, too.Â
âUh, yes,â you say.Â
âAre they from company events from before?â Taehyung asks.
You nod shyly. Itâs not like youâre paid enough to afford a new one every time nor can you wear them anywhere else; there arenât exactly regular fancy dinners and social occasions you get invited to.
âHave new ones made, then,â Jungkook says, his back turned to you.
âUh, thereâs no need, Mr. Jeon. The gowns still look new and theyâre well-made,â you insist.
âStore-bought?â Taehyung asks, his eyebrow cocked.
âUh, yes, Mr. Kim.â
âNothing beats custom-designed ones though. And I must say, Iâm kinda good at them.â
âI, uh⌠itâs really not necessary,â you stutter, feeling a little too shy and definitely undeserving. Itâs Kim Taehyung; his name is the brand.
âI believe it is,â Jungkook says now, turning to you. âTheyâre big events and weâre organizing one with the arts professionals. Some dignitaries will be coming, too, including the culture minister. Iâd prefer if you looked the part of working for the Vice President, Ms. Cho. You represent me in that way.â
âI⌠uh, okay,â you sigh, knowing you donât seem to be in a position to turn him down.Â
âGreat. Start thinking of designs, then!â Taehyung beams.
Itâs some minutes later when Jungkookâs measurements have been taken and Taehyung calls for you. You sit on the chair facing his desk not far away while Jungkook and Seokjin talk about sports and this new club that opened in Gangnam.Â
Seated in front of you, Taehyung takes his sketch pad and starts asking what design you want.
âSomething simple and comfortable since Iâll be moving around,â you say softly. âAnd nothing form-fitting or revealing since, uhâŚâ
âI understand,â Taehyung smiles, revealing a gentle side of him that the paparazzi and tabloids clearly donât capture.Â
He starts drawing your silhouette, glancing at you then at Jungkook before speaking.
âSo, heâs been in this role for a few weeks now. Has he been nice?â
âDefine ânice,ââ you respond, earning you a chuckle.Â
âI guess thatâs my answer, then.â
âI donât mean to say he isnât,â you backtrack. âMr. Jeon just has a different leadership style as Mr. Jungâs, thatâs all.â
âI suppose thatâs quite a difficult adjustment for you, huh?â
You purse your lips and Taehyung laughs, the soft way he does it is something new and refreshing to you. You didnât realize how deprived you are of such gentleness, of such acts or sights as simple as a smile. Hoseok is no longer your source. Your team hasnât been as jolly these past weeks. The only other person you talk to regularly at work is Yoongi, and while heâs definitely been smiling more, itâs a lot more teasing than it is comforting. Youâve been missing your best friends more because of that, you think - Soominâs smile is blinding, Jiminâs is sweet and infectious. Perhaps itâs why you havenât been smiling much yourself.Â
âI wonât tell, donât worry,â Taehyung assures you. âI just wanted to check on him. This whole move has been tough but he doesnât say much. Iâm guessing he doesnât tell you, either, but heâll definitely show it.â
âHe has, actually,â you say softly, knowing now that even with his closest friends, Jungkook tends to keep things to himself. âHeâs pretty stressed most days, always working and stuff. Heâs been a little hard on me but I guess thatâs a natural reaction for some.â
âThatâs not an excuse though.â
âIt isnât, but⌠itâs okay. I can handle it.â
Itâs not as much of a lie anymore as it used to be. Jungkook hasnât been overly critical about things as he was just last week. He rarely makes comments on your minutes now, doesnât correct the reports you reviewed, doesnât talk over you or doesnât yell. Thereâs been a change, definitely, and you wonder what triggered it.Â
âHe doesnât really smile, does he?â You ask, your curiosity getting the better of you.
Taehyungâs laughter is one of disbelief and pure amusement, catching the attention of the other two men but he waves them off.Â
âHe still does, just not as much,â he responds. âIt kinda stopped after the breakup with Chaerin but I guess thatâs what heartbreak does, right?â
âI⌠wouldnât know. Iâve never experienced it,â you shrug.
âLucky,â he hums. âI donât wish it on anyone.â
You glance at Jungkook, briefly letting yourself imagine a version of him thatâs a lot more carefree, relaxed, perhaps happy. Maybe itâs the loneliness and that youâd understand; that, youâve experienced. Itâs both liberating and isolating. You wonder if thatâs how heâs been feeling all these years since then.
âIâm done,â Taehyung announces, showing you three designs that are exactly what you asked for.Â
âThese look nice. And way out of my price range,â you laugh.
âPerks of having a rich boss,â he winks. âI donât want you to worry about anything, okay? Youâre my client and I want you to wear these with confidence. Now, if youâre okay with all this, Iâll get one of my female assistants to get your measurements.â
You nod in response. Thereâs absolutely nothing you would change about those designs. And if youâre being honest, you now canât wait for those events just so you could wear them. Hoseok had obviously paid for the gowns you had to wear for the big events, but those were store-bought that A-yeong helped you choose. Some were your own purchases, but this is the first time that youâre getting measured for custom-made clothing designed by Kim Taehyung.Â
You walk towards the fitting room at the corner where one of his staff meets you. Sheâs meticulous, which is why it takes longer than usual just to get this done. With her silence, however, youâre able to hear the conversation happening outside, with the brothers now asking Jungkook about the same thing youâve been wondering about.
âBy the way, what was up with you last Monday?â Seokjin asks. âI thought that was gonna be night 4 of you going home with a new woman. But you passed out before you could even ask. And that was just 9PM.â
âFour nights isnât much, though,â Taehyung laughs. âDidnât he do that with seven women on seven straight nights when he was in Singapore? That was wild. Was it that stressful there? Or were there just so many to choose from?â
âShut up. Iâm not proud of that,â Jungkook groans. âAnd that was one time. It never happened again.â
âIt never happened seven times straight again,â Seokjin corrects. âYou were really living your life out there, huh? Stressful job, a rooftop bar in your apartment building, chauffeur and butler services 24/7, women from all over the world begging to sleep with youâŚâ
âItâs called the post-break up stage,â Taehyung says.Â
âFor six years?!â Seokjin asks incredulously. âItâs either you loved Chaerin that much, you blamed yourself too much, or you just really sucked at moving on.â
âI vote all of the above,â Taehyung states.
âMe, too,â Seokjin claims.
âFuck you both,â Jungkook groans again.Â
âI think he also just missed us too much,â Seokjin adds. âLucas was cleaning up your messes every time, not snapping you out of it. But weâre here now so I guess three straight nights is as far as youâll go.â
âTwo, if you stopped me last Sunday,â Jungkook points out. âYou both always insisted that Sundays are a no-no. You were too busy with your own women.â
âMay we remind you that you didnât even make it to our table. You stepped foot in the bar then left five minutes later,â Taehyung says. âBut really, what was it about Monday? You seemed angrier than usual.â
âJust⌠a bunch of things my father said,â Jungkook huffs.
âDid he tell you off again?â
âNot really, surprisingly. He just delivered a message basically, about what the board members were saying about me and my project. Bullshit stuff, you know? I just wanted to forget about it.â
âDid you?â
âSorta,â Jungkook says. âI still donât want to talk about it.â
âBut itâs still happening, right?â Taehyung asks worriedly. âThe Arts Center, I mean. Youâve been wanting to work on that since the building was abandoned five years ago.â
âI donât know,â Jungkook responds. âI guess. We already put money into it. Iâll just have to make concessions if my father doesnât side with me on this. I hate to think heâs buying into what those old folks are saying.â
âMs. Cho, weâre all done,â the staff member tells you, muffling the conversation outside that you couldnât help but hear.Â
It felt quite intrusive, hearing how life was like for Jungkook in Singapore, but then again, his personal life seemed to be the topic in the office comfort rooms, and you donât know how to feel about getting confirmation about those rumors. It felt sad more than anything though, living that kind of life away from friends and family. You wouldnât know what moving on from a breakup feels like, but you suppose people grieve a lost love in their own ways; you canât blame them for how they choose to repair the parts of them that broke.Â
But the bit about his conversation with his father is what bothers you. Youâd hate to think that thereâs a possibility that Jungkookâs plans wonât be fully realized, and whatever the reasons for that are, you hope they didnât break his spirit too much. You know the plans now like the back of your hand and the more you learn, the more you believe in it. You hope Jungkook continues to believe in it, too.
You exit the fitting room, catching the end of a conversation where Seokjin suggests a wholesome weekend for the three men of just dinner and drinks. The two other men agree, and they all turn to you once you make your presence felt.
âAll good?â Taehyung asks you.
âYes,â you bow in thanks.Â
âGreat. The gowns will be ready at the same time as Jungkookâs suits will be. Iâll just let you guys know, okay?
âSure,â Jungkook says. âBut anyway, we have to get back to work. Thanks again.â
The brothers bid you and Jungkook goodbye, and you head back to the office with not much words said. Jungkook seems less frustrated, but the worry you feel suddenly returns. Itâs the thought that maybe he doesnât feel supported, that maybe what heâs doing isnât enough, and that more than that, it's him choosing to deal with all this on his own, not even looking to his friends to comfort him.
Jimin and Soomin meet you for lunch at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon. The drive from Busan took longer than expected, they said, but you say you donât mind. Theyâre visiting you like they always do every month, regardless of how busy they are back in their hometown, which was your home for a few years, too.
You were in the same class; your mom worked at the school, which was the only reason why you were able to attend a prestigious one in the first place. Even when you moved back to Daegu, you remained in touch with them. Despite the distance, none of you wanted to just let the friendship fade, and even when they had to stay back and you made a life out here in Seoul, they made sure to visit you as much as they could.
Theyâre why you were excited for the weekend to come and now, youâll be enjoying a hearty meal, getting your nails done after, lounging at your apartment, and then heading to a club for a night out, which you only do whenever theyâre around.Â
âSo, has the boss situation improved?â Soomin asks, her eyes soft and laced with worry âOr should I storm the jerkâs house and give him a piece of my mind?â
âIt has,â you chuckle. âSo no need to call him names or fight anyone. Iâm okay.â
âWell, you did call him a grumpy old grinch with nice hair the other week,â Jimin points out. âSo⌠did he get a haircut?â
âNo,â you laugh again. âAnd that was in the heat of the moment. I⌠I mean, heâs still grumpy but heâs not⌠as grumpy or unbearable. Heâs beenââ
âOh hun, please donât say heâs been kind and then give him a pass for how heâs been to you,â Soomin reprimands. âMean people donât just become nice all of a sudden. And if they do, thatâs a controlling tactic - they want you to think theyâre capable of change so youâll soften up to them and then give them a pass every time they do asshole-y things again.â
âYou watch too many shows,â you frown, although knowing her statement isnât wrong; itâs just not something you can relate with Jungkook.
Sure, he hasnât been the nicest, but he also hasnât been the meanest. Heâs just been⌠him, you suppose - a bit in the middle; frustrated at worst, quiet at best, stoic on most days. He does seem to live in his head a lot, and while you wonât go so far as characterizing him as kind, he definitely hasnât been insufferable these past few days.Â
âIâve just dealt with too many assholes, ___,â Soomin corrects. âTheyâre all the same. Men are shit.â
âExcept for Jimin,â you correct.
âExcept for Jimin,â she concurs.Â
âI accept the honor,â he bows. âBut seriously, ___. How has it been? You⌠you seemed really sad last week and I wouldâve driven here then if we didnât have that work emergency.â
âIâm okay, I mean it. Iâve experienced worse,â you try to assure them.
âYou do know that having experienced something worse doesnât mean itâs fine for you to experience something bad again, right?â Soomin points out.
âI know, but it also means that I know my threshold for bad behavior,â you say. âJungkook was in a lot of stress and I did mess up. But I think heâs making up for that.â
âBy apologizing, you mean?â Soomin cocks an eyebrow.
Your sigh tells her thatâs definitely not what Jungkook has done.Â
âWell, he approves my minutes and reviewed reports much quicker,â you reason. âAnd he doesnât comment as much. But actually, I think he just pities me. And thatâs worse.â
âWhy would he pity you?â She asks.
âI donât know. Maybe because I said that a tree fell on our roof and that mom got injured the weekend before my mishap,â you explain. âAnd then he found out how early I start my day just so I can get to him on time. Heâs made adjustments after those and I⌠I think heâs guilty or something. And heâs just not being his usual angry self around me to make it up to me.â
âSo in short, heâs still kind of an asshole,â Soomin says, prompting Jimin to snort and you to pout. âHe could always just apologize if heâs guilty and realized he should treat you better.â
âSome things arenât easy for other people to say, you know?â You say softly.Â
âThatâs not an excuse,â she points out.
âItâs an explanation,â you counter. âOr one of them, I guess. I donât know him well enough, but itâs better to think that heâs a decent person who just struggles with emotions than someone who willingly makes peopleâs lives difficult. I mean, thatâs easier to manage and accept.â
âIf that helps you deal and heâs indeed improving, then maybe I wonât have to storm his place then,â she smiles, taking your hand and kissing it as she likes to do.Â
She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; sheâll give it if you canât give it to yourself.Â
The rest of the afternoon goes as you planned, with all the banter youâd expect from your best friends amid the pampering and then the chick flick in the background as you get ready in your tiny apartment.Â
You smile at your reflection in the mirror. The high-waist trousers and sleeveless top ensemble is a refreshing sight for you, as you only really dress up like this for a night out. Youâre in your usual pencil skirts and blouses otherwise, and in jeans and tops or oversized jumpers on a normal day.Â
Soominâs done your makeup and Jimin compliments you as he looks on, and soon enough, theyâre ready as well to head out.Â
âWhereâre we going?â You ask from the passenger seat as Jimin navigates the busy streets of Seoul on a Saturday night.Â
âSome new restaurant the guys discovered,â Soomin responds. âI think itâs not far from here.â
âOkay, good. Hajoonâs been texting, asking what time weâll get there,â you tell them.Â
âGeez, you were already with him last night. Tell him to be patient,â Jimin rolls his eyes.Â
Soomin laughs from the backseat as she teases that heâs just being jealous, to which he points out that he just hasnât seen you in a while so the man can wait. And you assure Jimin that youâd gladly skip a night with Hajoon to be with your best friends, no questions asked.Â
You get there eventually, and you immediately spot the group because of the laughter coming from their table. There are four men; the two women are Soominâs friends, which is how you got involved with Hajoon in the first place. You met some time last year and youâve been hanging out with him since then - among other things - and youâve been enjoying it, given the simplicity and lack of drama when heâs not being moody. Heâs a warm body who knows how to use it and youâre a good type of relief, as heâd said; thereâs really not much more you need as you just try to survive through life and make something out of yourself in however way you can.Â
Hajoon waves at you from his seat, gesturing to his left to say heâs saved that spot for you. You head there after greeting your other friends, with Jimin and Soomin following you.Â
Right as you sit down and greet the man next to you, youâre caught by surprise when he kisses your cheek and snakes his arm around your waist.Â
âHey, I missed you today,â Hajoon hums, smiling at you the way he did last night and this morning; it definitely wasnât this sweet when he left for a work trip last month. Â
âI⌠saw you today,â you frown, earning you a chuckle.Â
âI know; I was still thinking about you, though,â he says.Â
You give a smile - as genuine as you can make it - and then turn towards your friends to your left who are trying to hold in their laughter.Â
You order a beer after he offers you a glass of wine, and then go for the pork belly when he says the salmon here is good.Â
âJust craving for meat, thatâs all,â you tell him.Â
âIs there anything else you want? Just let me know, okay?â
You hum your yes and then turn back to your friends after Hajoon makes jokes with his.
âSince when was he this sweet to you?â Soomin whispers with wide, curious eyes.Â
âSince never,â you reply. âI mean, weâve never been affectionate outside of bedâŚâ
âIs anything else different?â Jimin wonders, careful not to bring attention to your conversation.
You look back at how things were before Hajoon left and how it was when he was away. Nothing seemed different. You hung out at his place before he flew out, then you messaged each other every now and then during the one month he was abroad. He was more interested to talk, but given the time difference and the pressure and stress youâve been under the past weeks, you didnât bother much, neither did he.Â
But you also think back to last night - how he picked you up from your apartment, which heâs never done before, and how he prepared a luxurious dinner. He made you breakfast this morning, too, whereas you both usually just sleep in in tangled limbs and then separate once you wake up.
âHe cooked me fancy stuff but I just thought he wanted to show off what he learned during his cooking masterclass,â you shrug. âAnd well⌠he seemed sweeter than normal.â
âMaybe he hooked up with someone while he was away and heâs guilty about it,â Jimin suggests.
âHe didnât say anything about it and he knows I wouldnât mind,â you say. âWeâre not exclusive, even if I donât hang out with other guys.â
âMaybe heâs over the fucking and wants to do the loving bit now,â Soomin offers. âI mean, he always seemed more into you than you were into him.â
âHeâs hot and decent when heâs in a good mood; thatâs all I need,â you admit.Â
âBut honestly, thatâs probably it,â Soomin continues. âI think heâs hinting that he wants to be more.â
âBut I donât want to,â you whine. âIâm not ready.â
âYouâre 30! When are you ever gonna be ready?â Soomin whisper-yells.
âNever!â You pout now. âI mean⌠Not with him.â
âWell, youâre gonna have to tell him soon, then,â Jimin sighs. âBefore it gets messy. And you hate messy.â
âWhat if men just donât have feelings?â Soomin wonders out loud. âThat way, you canât hurt them.â
âSo that way, they can hurt you?â Jimin points out. âNo. Iâm not letting any men hurt either one of you, okay? I love you both too much.â
âWe know,â you and Soomin say at the same time.Â
âBut I agree with Jimin, ___. Youâre gonna have to let that man next to you, whoâs thankfully deaf, go. And then just find another person who can give you what you need,â Soomin continues. âLike, uhâŚâÂ
She looks around the semi-packed restaurant to find some random man to just point to, her eyes widening in awe as she spots a table close by with the type of men she was just thinking about.Â
âLike them.âÂ
You laugh at her, not taking her seriously, but still, you look towards the direction of her cocked head, only to feel your throat dry up and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes widen in reflex as they meet the piercing gaze of the man whoâd given you a headache for weeks. He also happens to look unfairly handsome in his white top and slicked back hair.Â
âShit, I would totally go for them,â Soomin adds, âand I only even like men a quarter of the time.â
Your best friends look at you as they wait for a response, only to see a nervous look on your face, as if youâre seeing a ghost or something, and the way you turn to them and stutter almost seems like you are.
From the other table, Jungkook pants quietly. You finally looked his way, and he didnât know what to expect your reaction to be - maybe a bit of shock, but definitely not this worried. Granted, youâre out with your friends at a restaurant that he and his friends frequent. Itâs not the type of place theyâd normally go for - this is a lot simpler, less private, and more accommodating than the exclusive restaurants and hotels they go to for dinners before heading to a club. But Jungkook loves their pork belly; he orders it every week, and tonight, he was craving for this specifically before going to a private party of one of Taehyungâs clients.Â
Jungkook had seen you when you sat down, and heâd been taken aback when the guy to your right immediately kissed your cheek; it seems heâs barely let go of your waist since then, too. Perhaps the man is your boyfriend - and Jungkook doesnât know what made him think you wouldnât have one - but it also seems that the one to your left is into you, too, at least based on how he smiles at you sweetly but rolls his eyes at the affectionate guy to your other side.Â
But other than the embarrassing obvious affection that both of them are directing at you, what made him lose his senses is how you look, and youâre even more beautiful than he imagined. Your hair is styled, your makeup is bolder than usual, and he wonât even start with how youâre dressed. Itâs a lot more skin than heâs used to - youâre out, after all, and if heâll go by what your companions are wearing, he supposes this is your stop before heading to some club to party, too. Whereas when youâre at work, you have the skirt and long-sleeved blouse ensemble that you wear everyday - still pretty, perhaps just a lot more reserved than what heâs seeing now.Â
He canât take his eyes off you, even as you entertain your suppose-boyfriend, even when you engage in hushed conversation with the man and woman to your left, and even when you stare back at him, the initial shock now wearing down to a look of curiosity. Perhaps youâre wondering why he keeps glancing at you, too.
âI told you heâs got it bad,â Taehyung laughs from the other side of the table.Â
Heâs noticed how his friend hasnât said much in the last 10 minutes, his gaze directed at the loud table close by. One glance and Taehyung knew why.Â
âWell, we told him,â Seokjin corrects. âHe only ever acts out when heâs threatened and heâs apparently threatened by his pretty assistant.â
âIâm not acting out,â Jungkook scowls, finally breaking the staring contest with you.
âYouâve never been this much of a jerk,â Seokjin says. âSo yes, youâre acting out.â
Jungkook ignores them, his eyes turning back to you, and finds you downing two shots of tequila consecutively, then using the beer as your chaser. His knuckles unconsciously clench when your suppose-boyfriend scoots closer, whispering something in your ear, his lips grazing your skin.Â
Jungkook exhales deeply, trying to get a grip of himself. Heâs acting foolishly. You obviously have a life outside of work, and it obviously includes going out for dinner and drinks with friends, having a boyfriend, and enjoying your youth the way he is. Thereâs a world outside of the routine youâve both created, of the silence you both share, and the time you spend together, unknowingly learning about each other without meaning to, without wanting to.
â___,â Soomin calls your name one more time.Â
âHuh?â You answer, finally tearing your eyes away from Jungkook, whoâd unfortunately captured your attention after you noticed he was there.Â
Youâve been used to his impeccable looks in his fancy suits; youâve even gotten used to his tank top and sweatpants post-workout outfits every morning, and while youâre still not immune to that look, his night out wear fit for a party leaves you more choked up than normal.Â
Maybe itâs the black jeans that you spot as he sits on the edge of the couch, or the white button-up top with the rolled sleeves up to his elbow, or his haircut that makes him look a little more mature. Maybe itâs all that and the way heâs gazing at you, the look in his eyes something you canât quite read. Perhaps like you, heâs surprised to see you here the way youâre shocked that heâd chosen this place to eat; itâs not exactly a fancy restaurant you know he likes eating at.Â
But heâs here, and so are you, and suddenly you feel exposed, as if the world outside of work that youâve kept to yourself is baring open to the man who stands at the center of what you do everyday. And youâre not sure how you feel about that.
âI was just saying⌠those men are pretty hot and they look interested, too,â Soomin wiggles her eyebrows. â I mean, they keep looking here.â
âOne of them is my boss,â you finally say. âGuy on the right. Thatâs⌠uh, thatâs Jungkook.â
âHoly fuck, hun,â Soomin chokes on her drink. âWhy did you leave out the part about your rude boss being a fucking god?â
âDoes it matter?â Jimin scowls. âHeâs still rude.â
âItâs different when the guyâs hot. It makes the anger more intense, you know?â Soomin says. âAttractive people elicit more passionate feelings sometimes.â
âExcuse me, thatâs not why I was angry,â you pout. âHe was really being unfair.â
âWell, he was. But I think my point also applies,â Soomin argues. âIâd just like to warn you that workplace hotties are a menace. Except for Yoongi - he was heaven sent. â
âAh, the man who couldâve been,â Jimin sighs. âWe at least knew he wouldnât hurt you. He didnât seem like the type.â
âYeah, this dude over here is hot but heâs mean. And thatâs your type,â Soomin smirks.
âCan we⌠not talk about this while heâs there? And while this other dude is right next to me?â You glare at your friends, especially at Soomin whose insinuation wasnât lost on you. âItâs so⌠weird.â
âHey, weâre here for you, okay?â Jimin softens as he looks at you. âJust let us know if one of them makes you feel uncomfortable. We can always just stay at your place and watch horror movies until morning and you and Soomin can lose your voices from screaming and then Iâll lose my hearing because of it.â
His words make you laugh. Thereâs a tenderness in Jimin that youâve never heard from anyone else before. Even when heâs telling you to stop yelling because you live for the thrill of a jumpscare, he says it so tenderly while laughing before pulling you both in his embrace.Â
âIâm okay. Iâm just⌠I donât know, probably just not used to seeing him somewhere that isnât the office or his home,â you reason. âAnd I feel a bit exposed, I guess. This is my world and his is⌠right there.â
You wrap your arms around your body subconsciously, realizing only youâd done it when Jimin asks if youâre cold, offering his jacket then taking it back because Hajoon might smack him or something.
You turn it down, knowing you actually feel hot more than anything. Youâre dressed up and definitely dressed in less, and somehow having Jungkook see you like this is oddly making you shy, perhaps a little too conscious.
âJust donât mind him,â Soomin advises. âItâs a restaurant. You obviously have a social life and he canât fault you for it, nor make you feel weird about it. Just focus on us, okay? Or on Hajoon, if thatâll happen.â
You follow her words and try to block out Jungkook. You do slightly nod at him, as well as at Taehyung and Seokjin just to acknowledge their presence, but you continue on with your meal, as the dishes arrive soon after.Â
The pork belly is a winner; youâll probably come back here for that alone. You do manage to dodge Hajoonâs attempts at feeding you, and your other friends engage with the three of you at the other end of the table. Itâs going well for the most part, until Hajoon starts to act a little wary, a little tense.
âHey,â he says, leaning close to you. âThe guy on the other table has been looking at you all night. Itâs kinda annoying.â
You glance at Jungkookâs table and he looks away when you do. âOh, just donât mind him,â you wave Hajoon off. âMaybe I remind him of someone or something.â
Thereâs a beat of silence, and you feel him tense even more, as you look up and see that heâs staring down the man on the other side. Hajoonâs had a bit to drink, and you know he tends to be cocky and irrational when he is. You groan once he shakes his head, saying heâs gonna give âthat strangerâ a piece of his mind because âhe canât be looking at my girl like that.â
The initial annoyance you feel turns into panic once he stands from his seat and storms to the other table. You follow him, with your friends just looking in worry. His friends are more encouraging of what he wants to do though.Â
âWhat the fuck is your problem staring at my girl like that?â Hajoon mumbles, acting all tough when heâs never threatened nor confronted anyone like this, even when heâs drunk.Â
Jungkook seems taken aback. Perhaps itâs the aggression he didnât expect, or maybe itâs finally having to acknowledge your presence in the restaurant, just in an unfortunate way.Â
âYour girl?â He scoffs.Â
The way the man is speaking to him is quite annoying, but he also knows your boyfriend is slightly drunk, so he dismisses him because Jungkook doesnât need this drama tonight, especially not in front of you.Â
Hajoon hates the way this stranger is looking at him and not taking him seriously. Heâd seen how he kept glancing at you, perhaps trying to get your attention away from him, and heâs really had enough. His words are slurring but this is the courage he needs to stand up for you. Youâve said before how unwanted attention makes you uncomfortable, and heâs gonna do something about it before the man gets to try anything with you.Â
âYeah, my girl. You seem to have a problem with that, donât you?â Hajoon grunts.Â
âMy only problem is you making a scene right now,â Jungkook shakes his head. âYouâre drunk and insecure and youâre embarrassing yourself in front of your girl.â
Not that you expected him to back off, but you didnât actually think that Jungkook would further press Hajoonâs buttons. The man is drunk and insecure and indeed embarrassing, but getting told so is a blow to the ego, especially in your presence. And so youâre not surprised that this just makes him angrier, and since youâve never dealt with this version of him before, you donât know how to pacify him.
You didnât actually think that Hajoon had a daring bone in his body despite being the way he is, but when he attempts to lunge at Jungkook, youâre left in disbelief. Youâre quick enough to pull Hajoon back before he lands a fist on the other manâs face, but heâd been worked up enough that he hits the glass of wine on the table, knocking it over and causing the drink to spill on Jungkookâs thin white top.Â
âMr. Jeon!â You shriek, pulling Hajoon back more forcefully before pushing him to the side so you can get ahead.Â
You take the napkin from the table and wipe Jungkookâs wet clothed torso, slowing down immediately as you realize what exactly it is youâre doing.Â
âI⌠uh,â you stutter, standing straight up and mirroring his questioning eyes.Â
It was a reflex for you, considering that you constantly make sure that heâs dressed impeccably.Â
âYou know him?!â Hajoon asks in disbelief, tugging on your hand now so youâll turn to him.
âHeâs my boss, you idiot!â smacking him on the chest as you glare at him. âAnd you just put my job in jeopardy and for what?â
âWell, what can he do?â Hajoon challenges. âGet you fired because of me? Does he own the company and shit?â
âMy father does,â Jungkook responds. âAnd Iâm the Vice President.â
Hajoon just rolls his eyes but you arenât amused. You glance at your table and gesture for one of his friends to take him, so one of them does. He stands up and pulls Hajoon away before he can do or say anything else.
âIâm so, so sorry, Mr. Jeon,â you say, your head bowed down as you apologize. âIâŚâÂ
The mess on his outfit is too much; the red has stained the white top and you know he feels sticky. He looks like he has somewhere to go after this and that makes it worse.
âIâ I can call Mr. Ri to get the car in here. I can get extra clothes from your travel bag,â you say, knowing that Jungkook always has a bag filled with clothes for emergency flights or check-ins.Â
You get your phone and make a call, telling Jungkook that his chauffeur will be here soon. You glance towards your friends who are still pacifying a drunk Hajoon, and you decide that they can handle all that. Right now, your priority is Jungkook.
You walk out towards the car thatâs on hazard mode outside the restaurant and pick out the top thatâs most appropriate for a night out, which happens to be a semi-loose black button-up. You head back inside, with Taehyung and Seokjin informing you that Jungkook has gone to the washroom, so you scurry towards there and knock at the door.
âMr. Jeon, I have your black long sleeves here,â you say as your knuckles tap on the wood. âJust tell meââÂ
Youâre interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, the sight of Jungkook in his jeans hanging by his waist and his unbuttoned white top catching you by surprise. His hairâs a bit damp and so is his bare torso, as you see that heâs tried to clean the wine off his body.Â
You catch yourself looking longer than you should, and you immediately look away as you hand him over what he needs.Â
âPlease let me know what else you need, sir,â you say, your eyes glued to the pretty wallpaper as you awkwardly stand outside the washroom.Â
âJungkook,â he says, earning him a curious look. âI mean, you donât need to be formal. Weâre not at work.â
You nod, realizing it does sound weird to address him as such in a casual setting.Â
âOkay⌠Jungkook,â you mumble, but even the way it rolls off your tongue is a bit odd. Youâre not used to it, and you hope you wonât ever be.Â
He closes the door and you take this time to calm yourself down. Youâve been so worried since you saw the glass tip over and mess up his outfit, and given his hot-headedness, youâre a little surprised that he didnât fight back. He does have a reputation to uphold but even then, stopping himself from punching Hajoon mustâve taken a lot.Â
The door opens and you sigh in relief; his outfit still looks good and heâs fully clothed, so thereâs no lingering looks this time anymore. You take the top that he gives you, and you take the chance to apologize.
âIâm so sorry,â you start. âI donât know why heâ I mean, heâs a bit drunk and heâs not usually like this.â
âYouâre not the one who should apologize so donât,â he responds.Â
âWell, he wonât apologize so I will.â
âYou didnât spill the drink and you didnât come at me. That was him,â he counters.Â
You just shrug, choosing to just concede. âIâll just return this to Mr. Ri.â
He calls your name before you turn around to leave.Â
âI didnât mean to cause a rift between you and your boyfriend,â he says, much too low and too gentle than youâre used to. âI hope I didnât ruin anything.â
âHeâs not my boyfriend,â you answer softly. âWe just, uh, we just hang out.â
You donât know why you feel the need to correct this misinformation. Maybe you just want to remind yourself because youâre not anyoneâs anything; hearing Hajoon claim you as yours made you want to just create that distance even more.
Jungkook wants to push it, to ask more. The man clearly acts like heâs your lover, given the physical affection and the way he tried to stand up for you. But thereâs a bit of shame as you state that you and the man âjust hang out,â and thereâs that wonder he feels - how can you be with someone without being with them, and if turning away people who are clearly into you is a tendency you have. Thereâs Min Yoongi, after all, whoâd liked you enough to remain as your friend when you needed one despite how he felt. Â
âOkay then,â Jungkook nods. âAnd your jobâs not in jeopardy. Donât take responsibility for a stupid act you didnât do.â
You bow in thanks, not much used to this side of him thatâs understanding and even calm. You suppose heâd seen you worry about your job, had seen you look embarrassed over something that you didnât even do, and perhaps he saw the discomfort over how Hajoon was talking about you.Â
Youâre about to walk out of the hallway when his call of your name stops you again, prompting you to turn around.
âAbout earlier⌠did I⌠did I make you feel uncomfortable?â He asks, the worry in his voice surprising you.Â
You debate over playing it down or telling the truth, but you go with the latter.Â
âA⌠a little,â you admit, looking away.Â
You hear him sigh, and thereâs a look of guilt in his eyes as you turn to him.Â
âIâm soââ
The footsteps of another diner in the hallway disrupts him, and you both make way so he can use the washroom, too. Perhaps you and Jungkook had taken so long, and you donât want others to conspire about whatâs happening, so you walk out and tell him again that youâll just return his clothing to Mr. Ri.Â
From your table, Soomin and Jimin watch the awkwardness of your parting of ways, with you scurrying out the door and Jungkook returning to his seat with a deep sigh before glaring at Hajoon.
âHe does sound and look like an asshole, aside from being hot,â Soomin observes. âThatâs totally ___âs type.â
âAre you saying she likes her boss?â Jimin asks incredulously.Â
âIâm just saying thatâs her type, not that she likes him,â Soomin corrects. âThereâs a difference. I still hate him for making things hard for her. I wish he would stop treating her like that. You and I know she wonât quit anytime soon. Especially because heâs a Jeon.â
âI know,â Jimin sighs. âI wish we could protect her from all this, too. But sheâs always done what she wanted to do. And we wait for her to tell us when things are hard; we just hold her hand whenever it is.â
âThatâs all we can do, I guess,â Soomin responds. âSometimes though I wish sheâd just⌠let someone else do more than just hold her hand, you know? It couldâve been Yoongi, or even Hajoon before all this mess. It couldâve been you.â
âYou know thatâll never happen,â Jimin laughs bitterly, with Soomin knowing exactly what he means. âYouâre only ever just her friend or her lover; you canât be both.â
Soomin hums in agreement, as sheâd seen you draw the line with the men youâd come across with. Youâd make it clear if friendship is all you want; youâd be straightforward if itâs just sex youâre seeking. You give either just your heart or your body and youâre always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you donât want to share, that you donât want to expose to them; thereâs a kind of hurt that you donât want to experience.Â
They watch you walk back inside and then head to their table, where you sit next to a buzzed Hajoon who still has half a mind to look at you guiltily.Â
âI think Iâll head back home after this,â you tell the group. âKinda not in a partying mood anymore.â
Your other friends apologize on Hajoonâs behalf, proceeding to ask you if that was really your boss and if heâd threatened your job because of it, remarking that it would be such an asshole move of him to do that or to even get mad at you for something you didnât do.Â
You come to Jungkookâs defense; he didnât say anything to that effect at all. Perhaps youâd been the unfair one who assumed that he would - that heâd demand that you apologize, that heâd use this against you.Â
âHeâs⌠not like that,â you say, meaning it. You turn to your best friends who have disagreeing looks. âHe⌠he tried to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable,â you say softly. âNo oneâs ever done that before.â
âLook, ___,â Hajoon starts, but you cut him off.Â
âI donât really wanna talk about it,â you sigh. âIâll just pay my bill and head out.â
You, Soomin, and Jimin all pay accordingly and then leave the restaurant, with you turning to Jungkook and his friends, bowing as a form of goodbye.
âHey, why donât we buy desserts at a convenience store and have our own party at your place?â Jimin suggests as you all settle in his car.Â
âThat would be nice,â you hum. âThis outfit wouldnât be such a waste then.â
So thatâs what you do, as your best friends treat you to all the snacks you love - a usual occurrence, really, as they used to do that back in Busan to cheer you up during the days when you were feeling sad. Itâs one of the things that you allow them to spoil you with and they take advantage of that, as you go home with weeksâ worth of goods for you to enjoy.
You also picked up some drinks on the way, so you play some music and dance around with your wine glasses and take shots in between. Itâs too early to be drunk but 11PM might as well be 3AM. Youâre all seated snugly in your tiny couch as you watch some variety show on mute, laughing at the hosts' antics even if you canât hear anything.Â
âTonight wasnât so bad,â you huff, leaning on Soominâs shoulder as you doze off. âBoth of you are all I need. Thank you for never disappointing me.â
They know you donât always let yourself be this sentimental. They also know that when you do, all you want is for them to listen and to hold you. And thatâs what they do, as you eventually clean up and fall asleep on the mattress with them, the events from earlier slowly fading away.