#That just interesting to think about in the context of their characters and shared themes and I just-

[hellspawn-enjoyer]

Will always adore this line between them if you don't fix Karlach's engine. It shows such and important growth in their relationship even though they still can't touch. Plus it's cute how much Astarion wants to be closer to his fiery girlfriend of his own choosing without them having ever touched.

But also damn Astarion you are NOT helping, my poor girl is frustrated enough😭

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

fun fact: I actually have not 1, not 2, but 3 dedicated playlists of OST-style music for my various Guild Wars 2 AUs, and... that, of all ways, is the closest I get to "outlining" my stories. every sequence has a dedicated track that I picked out according to what I'd imagine playing in-game if it was an actual playable story arc in Guild Wars 2.

Regrowth's playlist has 59 songs and Flourish has 28.

then the Tideturners have one too, with a grand total of 22.

......... I don't have a problem,

[not-too-many-eyes]

A Study on Mesmer Jr.

(Also Known As: Nott is obsessed with the bigot autistic girl from the time travel gacha game and its her birthday tommorow so lets talk about her.)

(CWs: Ableism, racism, child abuse) I Love Mesmer Jr. Which isn't a secret to any of my friends who have had to listen to me talk about her at length. I cannot get her out of my head. I think she's fantastically written, fun to read about, and just an all around interesting character.

As such, I want to take a moment to pull apart Mesmer Jr, and consider her place in this story. To contemplate why she acts the way she does, and to connect to the themes relating to her character. I hope you enjoy reading this.

A Curious Impression

Mesmer Jr makes an interesting impression when you first meet her. For one, she immediately causes alarm bells to rings when she talks to Sonneto, one of her earliest conversations, who she says she enjoys talking to because of their "shared values" she feels the need to say that she would have liked talking to her more if she were a "full-blooded human."

Which is something that you see a lot whenever she's complimenting an arcanist, or considering arcanists in any positive light. Even if it's inappropriate in the context, she feels the need to assert her beliefs, to say that:

Mesmer Jr, Praise: As an arcanist, your performance really amazes me. Wish you were a pure-blood human.

Of course, as we know, Mesmer Jr is an arcanist. She's a full-blooded arcanist. Being noted to be from a very Important family, and even being implied to be more talented than most of her family in their line of work: (The Fallacy of Idealism)

Nobody is more talented in this than Mesmer Jr. Her bloodline gives her outstanding ability and keen senses, which makes everything clear and intelligible to her.

She's also startlingly obedient. She has no noticeable outward negativity towards what Constantine has ordered her to do to Vertin, despite it seeming to cause pain or stress. Insisting that this is the normal treatment given to patients despite Madam Z's opinion, and we learn Much Later that her boss had an ulterior motive to all this.

She's even noted before we meet her to seem like a:

(Open Sandwich)

???: It is the other one- the one with indifferent outlines that makes her look like a refined machine.

Evoking images of perfectly programmed robots and droids that do what they are ordered to perfectly without question.

Of course, in the same part this line is from, the game is already nudging us to be open-minded when it comes to interacting with her. As the first thing we learn about her isn't her personality, isn't her appearance, isn't even her Voice.

It's her abuse.

Dirtied Hands

Open Sandwich is one of my favorite bits of writing in this game. It creates this incredible tension where you just waiting for the bad thing to happen, the line about how the child labor laws were turned into paper to wrap the sandwich is wonderful, and I love it.

But it's also the first time we ever actually hear about her. It depicts her having a Sensory Meltdown. Caused by her family's uh- blatant disregard for children's rights, and exposing her to a patient at age 12 because her skill was useful for the treatment. The trauma of the event marking the start of her "nightmare."

Of course this isn't the Only Thing she has gone through at the age of 12. The entire events of Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien happened during when she was 12. She might of had even more traumatic experience before that, considering she went to SPDM, a school that we know Very Well for their child abuse, and she Certainly had traumatic experiences afterwards.

She Is a 16 year old therapist taking care of The Foundation's most "unstable" patients, after all:

Mesmer Jr, Suitcase Climate: Those insane people screamed and rushed out of the guardroom. They kept meaninglessly and repeatedly roaring. Then, their blood shed on the snowy ground. I've seen that a lot.

The Rights of Children Don't Matter when there is Scarcity. Her needs are secondary to The Company's. Her welfare simply isn't important for the Foundation's Beautiful Future. Only the skills and infromation she can provide.

Constantine even manipulated Mesmer Jr into telling her the plan. Purposefully traumatizing her so that she would become scared and anxious. She Asked her to help them, trusting that Constantine, an adult she trusted, would be able to help. Constantine just lied, and made her continue to treat these people even when the experience mind numbingly traumatic for even fully-grown adults.

As a result, Mesmer Jr has developed multiple mental illnesses. Most notable OCD, but she seems to hallucinate in her Monologue.

She's not exactly a healthy person, which really compounds how much you Don't want her to be a therapist.

Of course, it's not like she would ever seek actual proper treatment for it.

For many reasons.

For one, Reverse 1999 is not exactly a kind world to the mentally ill, and she herself is a good example as to why.

Proper Treatment

Let's go back to the first thing I mentioned about Mesmer Jr. She's a bigot, she's a certified racist to every arcanist she ever talks to. She thinks humans are the superior race that will overtake arcanists.

She's also ableist. Just horrible ableist. These two bigotries are intertwined in Very important ways. Her hatred of arcanists is informed by her hatred of the mentally ill, and is further informed by what she has been taught about arcanists.

Reverse has established that the way arcanists and humans are generally viewed is that arcanists are the more emotional, unstable, immature ones and humans are the more logical, stable, and mature ones.

Now, this is a stereotype, one that has been proven wrong time and time again. There is nothing logical, stable, or mature about being so upset at a 12 year old you think killing her friends is a good idea.

And similarly, there is nothing actually inherently wrong about being a weirdo, or mentally ill. For one, uh, everyone is a bit of a freak sometimes, and two, Mesmer Jr treats it as if for the world to get better arcanists need to fully disappear and be replaced with human rationality, but Madam Hoffman says it best:

(Chapter 6 Part 15: With Hope Rekindled)

Hofmann: We have all heard it, humans are more rational and arcanists are more emotional. Hofmann: Their sensitive to the darkness of the world, so they can easily become absorbed in their own emotions and ignore reality Hofmann: But, if we put a human child in the position of an arcanist, who always takes on the world because of his uniqueness, who is never understood for his talents... Hoffmann: Maybe he too will become impulsive, sensitive immature and unstable Hoffmann: And that's why it sometimes dawns on me that if we put an arcanist child in the position of a human being who receives enough love, education, and positive feedback... Hoffmann: These 'instabilities' might be controllable. At least enough to keep them from hurting themselves or others.

But Mesmer Jr really does believe wholeheartedly that being a "freak" is bad, and that being an arcanist is to blame for why she is one.

Mesmer Jr, Hat and Hair: Thanks to it, we are all freaks now. Haven't you ever blamed your brain? Haven't you for once vomited due to the sound or whisper in your brain? How naive and ignorant.

That being an arcanist is something inherently wrong, and as a result of that inherent wrongness, that inherent "insanity," they need to be controlled by humanity.

Mesmer Jr, Chitchat II: I can only stand those arcanists from the Foundation and the Laplace. After all, their insanity is contained by humans.

She believes that humans are destined to overtake arcanists like it's natural selection. That it's only inevitable that arcanists will be overtaken by a species that in her eyes, is logical and understandable.

Mesmer Jr, To the Future: Just like Homo sapiens wiped out Neanderthals, arcanists will be eliminated as well. This is not a prediction, but a predestined fate.

This is, of course, due to the systemic part of Reverse's world constantly pushing this idea that arcanists are Inherently more immature and chaotic.

Constantine and her family deeply traumatized Mesmer Jr and then told her it wasn't actually their fault but this Other Group that She is also apart of but Don't Worry it can Be Controlled.

Mesmer Jr: It's not just about age. It was never going to be suitable for me. Mesmer Jr: Unless one day all the arcanists are gone. Pandora Wilson: Then you and I will be gone, too. Mesmer Jr: Exactly, along with the source of my pain

However, Mesmer Jr's own mental illnesses and susceptibility towards being overwhelmed by others emotions does really mean that she finds being around highly emotional people Taxing. She also finds that the unpredictable of life and other people Tiresome.

She was friends with Vertin in the rest when she was younger sure, but even then she did find arcanists overwhelming and "scary," even when she wasn't in the full thick of it, she saw them being treated and found it unpleasant and painful.

(Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien)

Mesmer Jr: But I'm not interested in arcanists. They are all mad people, and we had to treat them after all...They looked scary.

Now, usually, you grow out of this. She's not Born To Be Racist Forever.

In a better world she very much could have, I dunno-

Be able to actually internalize that arcanists aren't actually inherently a harmful thing, but that her needs sometimes conflict with the needs of others and grew up with the tools necessary to understand that this is a fixable problem that doesn't actually need a whole group of people including herself to die to be solved.

Or, something like that.

However, this isn't that world, this world thinks Mesmer Jr is a good therapist, and that her treatment is humane.

So she's seeks to create stability in the world as a result of that lack of support.

Mesmer Jr, Hobby: What you see is the alignment and tidiness. What I adore is this orderly state.

As much as she understands that it's a sign of her own "franticness" that she does this, it gives her comfort knowing that she has things that she Can Control. That her life isn't actually dictated fully by things out of her understanding. That she has the ability to direct her life in a small, maybe even insignificant way.

Cause, she really just doesn't have much control over her life.

Press the Button

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: ...Achieve the function.

A lot of Mesmer Jr's idolization of humanity comes from this idea of efficiency and simplicity. She talks so much about rationality and "tidiness," but as I've already established Reverse is full of so many instances of "human insanity" so it's plain ignorant to ascribe this trait to humans.

Which, well one she is ignorant, and also racism isn't rational and Mesmer Jr was taught human supremacy of course it's not going to be aligned with actual reality.

Which is true.

However, I do think it's interesting these traits that she idolizes are not from humans but from:

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: Humans are like machinery, simple and efficient. Arcanists are quite the opposite.

That's who she's actually idolizing here, isn't it? She's not really idolizing humans, that's just the framework she was given. She's idolizing machines and going "Wow humans are so cool."

Her Udimo is a machine.

Not just any machine, but a machine invented in part By Her Workplace, and even when she was 12 the narrator describes her as a "refined machine." Indifferent and rigid.

This is the beautiful controlled being that she is seeking! The beautiful tidy, orderly, calm being that just proceeds with whatever order is given to it. One that has...completely no control over it's life, and what to do with it.

Because, traditionally speaking, Machines do not have the ability to self-determine. They don't exist as people with conscious thought and emotion, but as Things and Tools that can Achieve Functions.

I noted way back in the start that Mesmer Jr is startlingly obedient. She does what she is told, and encourages others to do the same.

She's glad that Vertin:

Mesmer Jr, 100% Bond Conversation: ...Anyway, I'm glad you gave up on those insane plans.

Before saying that she doesn't want to be forced to Lobotomize Her, and that she doesn't actually want anyone to end up in Artificial Somnambulism.

But she doesn't say she won't do it. Just that she's happy Vertin did "give up" because it means that she probably won't have to. This seems to be her general approach. Even if she's not happy, she'll do it, her wants don't matter.

She assumes that she has no other option and that her only path forward is following orders from her boss. That the only path forward is the one set for her. There's no point in fighting it so she's just gonna continue on that path, and others should do the same or else they'll get Hurt. Learned Helplessness.

Sonetto is similar to her in this sense (Mesmer Jr says so herself,) and Sonetto is shown to hold quite a lot of repressed emotions, and to deviate from the rules or what is logical when she feels something is at stake.

After all: (Is ABA Really “Dog Training for Children”? A Professional Dog Trainer Weighs In.)

We all know that we can feel angry without expressing anger. That we can smile when inside we are crying. You can stop someone from expressing an emotion, but that doesn’t make the emotion go away. A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.” When you read about a dog attack that came “out of nowhere” and “without warning,” it is because this sort of method was used to handle “problem behaviours.” Studies show that dogs trained with these sorts of methods actually have an increased rate of aggression, because punishing aggressive behaviour doesn’t deal with the underlying fear and anxiety that caused the aggression in the first place.

But Mesmer Jr, in contrast to Sonetto, who has an interest in poetry and curiosity in the outside world and has the aforementioned repressed emotions. Has no real distinct personal identity. She does not own anything that shows her interests, unlike her other coworkers who usually have at least Something on them. All of her items are stuff made by Laplace and exist unaltered. Even her cute little headband is a EM amplifier is part of the uniform.

She holds no control, no identity, no agency. She exists as a machine that someone can press the buttons of and achieve whatever function she needs to achieve at the given moment.

This is her current state of existence, and it's not something that's exactly sustainable. The cracks in this machine-living have been showing since she was 12. How many more do you think have been created now that she's 16?

The Foundation

Now, this is really depressing, but that's because Mesmer Jr is just a bit of a depressing character. She can't really get away from her job. For one, her parents are horrible, two The Storm means that the world is always on the verge of ending. Where else will she go?

But, as said previously:

A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.”

Similarly, a girl trained to not develop any sort of identity will crack Someday.

I have no knowledge of what could happen next in her story, nor am I interested in theorizing about it. But I do find it interesting to think about.

[violetasteracademic]

I feel like not enough people have actually sat down and read this article, in order, in its entirety, and fully comprehend the development of this (thoroughly planned and staged ) conversation:

Take a look at those paragraphs. Then read them again. One more time for posterity.

Often times with fated mates, the bonds are intense. Metaphorical. Poetic.

But other times- there are no metaphors. The connection seemingly random.

It's after this addressing that not all mating bonds are poetic, thematic, and some are lacking in literary metaphor and meaningful connection, Sarah explains that sometimes she plans for characters to be together and then she literally cannot force them to be together.

Right now there is actually only one mating bond that even remotely fits the category random, anti-thematic, and lacking literary metaphor connecting the two characters together. There is no power. There is no poetry. Only randomness. And Sarah admits sometimes her plans literally cannot be seen through because of chemistry issues. Lol. Guys.

People who say this could be about Azriel and Elain are completely missing the fact that this entire conversation is about mating bonds. And if you think Azriel and Elain are lacking in a connection of power (even though Azriel is the one who discovered her power while her mate couldn't) or theme (even though the amount of themes actually tying Elain and Azriel together in the books is insane) that is literally irrelevant- because this conversation is about some mating bonds being random and lacking literary theme and deep connection, not just any potential romantic pairings.

Read it again. Then again. Aaaaaaand once more, with feeling.

Leaving the photo of Josh and Sarah here so you can see I'm not cutting or rearranging the interview to create my own context- this is where the conversation develops from there:

It's magic in a way how the characters guide the story no matter how many years in advance she tries to plot. The characters (not the strict decisions of the mating bond) guide the story and wind up with the people that offer them the most growth and joy.

Lol. Guys.

Meanwhile, in Az and Elain land in the books following Elain and L/ucien's mating bond reveal:

Elain and L/ucien in the books following the mating bond reveal:

And now here is the next part of the interview- again I have not cut or rearranged or done anything but snap screenshots in order to show the progression of the conversation. We were talking about the use of mating bonds in Sarah's story in everything leading up until now, and we are still talking about it:

After revealing that sometimes her best laid plans don't work out the way she thought, and even she, the author, actually can't control who is right for whom no matter what her intentions were, she shares that her musings on "fated mates" are not set in stone. In fact, she finds the question and ideas interesting. This is all one continuous conversation about fated mates specifically, not about her relationships or love interests in general. The only idea that Az and Elain are relevant to is: What if I was put with the wrong person?

Let me tell you, if an author considers an idea interesting, something that offers a wealth of ideas to explore, and then rattles off about all of the implications and things she finds interesting about it... Babe. She is already writing about it.

SJM has not hidden in recent interviews (including her most recent), that the promise of a happily ever after is why she is a romance author:

She speaks openly about the reassurance of romance. We all love romance for this. We know that the characters are going to end up together, no matter how difficult their journey is along the way.

However, when it comes to mates, she did not confirm she is a "fated mates" author because of the comfort. She did not say that part of what she likes about fated mates is that you know fate can never be wrong and therefore there is trust and reassurance in the process. In fact, what she said was she finds the concept of agency and choice interesting. She muses on how much there is to be explored about agency and free-will after the interviewer said if God put her with the wrong person, that's none of her business. The conversation of an imperfect process is one that a lot of readers find interesting, and SJM has shut down wacky ideas (like Bryce and Hunt not really being mates) in the past. But here, she not only welcomes the conversation, but expands on everything that fascinates her about it.

This is not a woman who will only have her characters ending up with their mates. In fact, she's been building a massive question over it for years.

Meanwhile, in the books:

Free will. Agency. An imperfect system of matching.

Babes. This is all about Elain and L/ucien. Absolutely no one else.

If you cling to their relationship because SJM is a fated mates author and therefore they have to be together, I fear Sarah J. Maas may not be the author for you. She does not believe that the decisions made even by her about who will wind up together are set in stone. She is the one interested in exploring the concept of fate and free will. We did not invent this. She has never once described why she likes the fated mate trope and therefore exclusively uses it, only why she likes stories about romance and love conquering all.

I promise you, it's okay to subvert tropes. In fact, it's fun. It's hot. It's interesting.

The fact that Sarah still has a wealth of ideas to explore regarding mates and fate after years of telling the same story over and over is, frankly, so exciting. To us. To her. To journalists.

She has not come out here once and stood behind fated mates as a non-negotiable trope with her full chest, be it in the actual books that she writes or the conversations she has in interviews. We've been on this journey of questioning fate, Cauldrons, and learning the consequences of the mistakes made for years.

And it's gonna be sooo goooood.

[zaebucca]

About scale, process, palette and canvas: a few considerations on pixel art as a medium

User moredogproblems answered an interesting and legitimate question by another, DiscountEarly125, regarding my work and canvas size. He also perfectly isolated two central concepts of pixel art, which are scale and process. Canvas size, which was the theme of DiscountEarly125's specific request, is more of a dependent variable to those two aforementioned concepts, rather than a starting point. I hope the following considerations I shared may help or prompt some other ideas, but this is what I could come up with 15-ish years of experience with pixel art (and a few more years of art and media studies). I was quite in the mood of writing down these few thoughts that have been floating for a while. I apologize as this may also result in a confusing wall of text, but it is all part of a my work and research, and I would love to polish all the material, hopefully with some thoughts, insights from other colleagues, as well as pictures and materials!

A. Scale and canvas size It is true that the bigger the canvas, the more distance one may visually create from pixel art, but I personally think this is to be possibly considered a matter of perceiving pixels, rather than a fundative problem of the medium. In fact I concur with the idea of "process makes the medium" rather than identifying pixel art as how (evidently) pixeled the result feels. The general picture, or the sum of pixels, though, is a really important matter to the medium nonetheless! Pixels themselves work in relation one with another, so it's their overall result that gives context and makes the subject recognizable. This relationship between pixels links back to all the art fundamentals that each artist is taught, from color theory to shape and composition - and so on. So, the canvas size debate usually boils down to a matter of scale or necessity of your subjects. As long as the dimension (canvas) of your subject (as in: a drawing of an apple, a character sprite, a mockup environment) allows you to operate, control and keep an eye on the quantity (number/area of pixels together) and quality (color, shaping of multiple pixels, texturing obtained through color and shapes) of isolated single pixels or pixeled areas, you're in the pixel art universe. The other way around to define the matter of scaling: in order to be operating pixel art fundamentals and techniques, your subject has to be on a scale that allows you to apply principles of pixel art within the space of your canvas and your personal style. These very same principles, or basics, can be applied with different results and extent to bigger and smaller canvases alike, each with their own specific difficulties and variables. It is important to adapt your scale when learning, and trying classic canvases per subject like "16x16px" (standard tile or character sprite unit, tied to older consoles and screen ratios, it's a bit complicated there) is always a nice idea - they also tend to be industry benchmarks and necessities so in case you'd like to consider a professional output, that's very useful.

Scale also applies to the array of colors, and there lies the concept of palette: a number of single hexadecimal hues we are using for each single pixel. Any single pixel can have one hexadecimal color only.

Consequentially it is absolutely true that either a huge canvas or a palette too broad may prevent a viewer from perceiving immediately the "nature" of your medium, namely seeing square pixels, recognizing a certain amount of color - or more thoroughly recognizing that you made some choices for each subject on a pixel level. What could possibly happen on a huge canvas (without zooming in) is that you can't really grasp the pixels, but just the "overall picture" - and that may not differ too much from digital, raster art, which is of course also based on pixels. Therein appearently lies a sort of threshold that is really hard to pin down for us pixel artists, as it depends on screen size, visualization methods, distance, filters and lots of other inherently subjective parts.

This kinda is my case sometimes: I make big environments (possibly too big, and too detailed in each part I tell myself) that are a sum of many lesser parts: both tilesets and sprites that relate (but not strictly adhere) to a basic space unit that is 16x16pixels. You can indeed consider scale in a broader sense as a subdivision or magnification issue, much alike squinting your eyes to focus on a picture's overall contrast or, conversely, analyzing its fundamental parts with a magnifying glass, and then a microscope - an analogy as follows:

a. the picture as a whole is like a colorful rock that you can analyze by magnifying its grain. b. the characters, geographical elements and textures, works like the different substances that compose the rock and give its visible characteristics grain and complexity, c. single pixels constitute the very atoms of those previously recognized substances.

I mean "atom" in the traditional, classical meaning of indivisible, fundative object. That's a "quantized" part of information, which for pixel art is ultimately color (or a binary value, like yes/no black/white). If you were, for example, to crop some parts of my work - let's say 160x144 pixels (a gameboy screen resolution in pixels) you would see the substances that are characters and elements of nature, and when you zoom in again, every atom becomes visible as a single entity of color. There are 29 different type of "atoms" in Ruin Valley as in different, singularly hexadecimal colors that work together in different combinations and shapes to create different substances and characters. 18 of them are used for the different qualities of the environment, and 11 more for extra hues for characters and other elements to pop out a bit.

It's really interesting to see how many pixel artists push this "threshold" of pixel art canvases to the extremely small or the extremely big, whereas, notably, palettes are less open to growth: it is indeed my opinion that pixel art tends to quantize color (quality) over than dimension (quantity). Palettes, notably, do not grow exponentially, but tend to a lower, fixed, controlled amount of individual values instead. This usually gives the artist the true possibility and toolkit through which is possible to think about/with pixels. In other words: color (or its absence) is the founding unit and identity of pixel art as a digital medium.

B. Pixels as process or pixels as objective? Pixels themselves (as strange as that may sound!) are not to be considered an objective of pixel art, I think, but the founding matter of its research as a medium instead. I think that making pixel art is not just devoting oneself to show those jagged, squarey areas or blunt edges that we all know and love: this is just one of the possible aesthetics that pixel art conveys or adopts - especially on small canvases. Pixel art is not about denouncing itself as pixels, but, rather, embracing the square, atomic unit to build an ensemble that conveys a content or a style. That's the important part of the discourse that emancipated pixel art into being a medium, and not just an aesthetic choice or style of representation. Again: process makes this medium. Speaking of that, I consider pixel art as part of a broader family of "quantized art", namely media that operate on/with "indivisible, founding bricks and unities" that can assume a certain quality (color, mainly) within a certain quantity (palette, canvas size) and in relation to its surroundings to describe something. This puts pixel art, with its specifics and with a certain degree of semplification, among other mediums such as cross-stitch, bead art, construction sets, textile art (on a warp and weft basis), (micro-)mosaics and others.

A classic threshold example of process vs objective: oekaki art. Oekaki art - which I love and also happen to make from time to time - doesn't really work or "think" specifically on a pixel base: it doesn't place pixels per se, but uses pixel-based areas and textures on bigger canvases with a certain degree of freedom, like one would normally do with brushes on raster digital art programs (adobe ps, gimp, clip studio and so on) in order to convey an aesthetic with fewer colors and a certain line style and texturing. That way, oekaki uses and knows pixels in a deep way, but doesn't see them primarily in a quantized way. As a result the "overall picture" shows pixels to a certain extent, and it's possible to recognize distinct pixels for each part, but the objective is not an analysis and use of pixel and quantized information, but the use of an aesthetic based upon accessibility of resources, their control and a certain rendering style.

A huge part of pixel art is its absolute accessibility: everyone with a fairly outdated computer or screen and a basic drawing program can study the medium. To be fair, it's indeed considering accessiblity that I highly support an inclusive approach to the term "pixel art" and I think traditional oekaki is a close, beautiful relative that builds upon the rules and techniques of pixel art and pixel rendering, yet keeping its identity as its very own medium - somehow like a dress may be built around/upon textile design. Anyway, boundaries are meant to be crossed and I think there definitely are lots of oekaki and pixel-based art that meet traditional pixel art mid-way - or further. I also think the "is it pixel art?" discourse possibly ensuing - and generally speaking any media belonging purist ontology - is a treacherous, slippery terrain leading to excesses, and this is not my focus today, neither am I able to tackle that subject extensively at the moment.

C. Conclusions and a few good exercises Everything above may be farfetched or too complicated as a starting point. I tried to write all down as orderly as possible. The point of this (possibly discouraging) analysis and the reasoning between scale and process is that (pixel) art is about trying different canvases, and reasoning on one's subject and objective, rather than limiting oneself to presets sizes or styles. It's important to choose something that resonates with us and, in doing so, thinking about other, more interesting limitations: that's the discourse about quantity of space and quality in color. Limiting is the best possible exercise and one I wholeheartedly encourage: by doing so we are progressively delving deeper on the basics, as we learn the fundamental relationships between shapes and colors that we can achieve through pixels. A few good exercises that I too implemented in my own workflow come to mind: 1. Trying different canvases (or sizes) for the same subject (sprite, character art, illustration or so on). This helps a lot finding a comfortable size to apply pixel techniques, as well as getting a hold over fundamentals such as aliasing, linework, conventional representation and so on. 2. Trying different palettes for the same subject, both by varying colors themselves (therefore learning about values and contrast and readability, as well as atmosphere and mood!) or singular hues and their components, in order to discover possible relationship between them. Have fun! 3. Reducing the width of the palette progressively for the same subject: reducing the number of singular colors forces a reasoning on shapes, rapresentation. You may go from 1-bit art (just black/white) to 3 colors, 4, 8 and so on. We'll not talk about transparency as a singular color there, but if you happen to be interested in retro art, transparency counts to the palette size. This exercise is very useful in rendering, and possibly tricky. And definitely fun. :') 4. Choosing an objective and usage of our work: for example trying to learn about old pixel art limitations for games, in order to reason within specifics. Get inspired by traditional games (spriters-resource is your best friend here, in case you have a specific retrogame you're thinking of)! I will probably talk about limitations and style on another post. 5. Four eyes (and other multiples) are better than two: try to talk with people and friends and other artists you trust and feel comfortable with to get their point of view. This can be scary, I know, especially at the beginning. You're not forced to, of course, but if you do (in a safespace) there's lots you can learn about concepts such as readability, subject recognition, rendering and composition. Our eyes and brains get accustomed to something, and pixel art being a rather analytic medium made of synergies, subtle changes, limitations and conventions is especially tricky on the artist's eyes on the long term. Either way, the important thing about pixel art is understanding that this medium is about recognizing and enjoying the process rather than the eventual aesthetic and in order to do so the best choice is to start simple, small, with few colors and techniques at a time! Have fun and hit me up with your progress and considerations. :')

[themousefromfantasyland]

Was Star really supposed to be Asha's love interest in the beginning of the development of Disney's Wish?

I keep seeing this being brought up everywhere, appearing even on Trivia TikTok videos about the movie, but as far as I know this is coming from a deeply misunderstanding of the development process.

The main idea is that Star-boy was supposed to be Asha's love interest and that At All Costs was supposed to be their love song.

Seeing the concept arts of Star-boy I can see where most people are coming from. I'm also think that Asha and him are definitely shippable.

However, in the Art of Wish, Star-boy was just the third stage of the character development, and on that stage he was meant to be Asha's deceased grandfather reborn. On the first stage he was supposed to be a shapeshifter and on the final stage a ball of pure energy.

You can say they missed the opportunity of having Star stay as a magical boy like Peter Pan, but it's clear that on that stage his relationship with Asha was probably going to be platonic. No romance here.

Then why do At All Costs sound so much like a love song?

Luckily for us, Jennifer Lee, one of the writers for the film and chief creative officer of the Walt Disney Animation Studios, and Julia Michaels, the songwriter for the movie, gave an interview to Variety explaining their reasons.

The song “At All Costs,” sung by Asha and King Magnifico, was important to Lee. The song navigates the importance of the wishes to each of them, and the two are emotionally aligned here. Lee pushed for a song expressing this. “You had to understand what it felt like to hold someone’s wish in your hand. How do we viscerally understand that when you’re with them, you feel like you’re holding someone’s raison d’être?” she says. “You can’t do this in any other way but song.

Since there was no love song in the film, Michaels wanted to write a song that as a standalone sounded like a love song that could be played at weddings. Yet in the context of the film, it’s about the heroine and villain. Says Michaels, “How cool would it be if we wrote a song that if you listened to on its own, it sounds like a love song, it could be something you could play at your wedding, or be a lullaby to your kids, just something really beautiful, but when you watch the film, it’s the heroine and it’s the villain.” She continues, “You realize they’re coming about this both from various points, one from a very selfless standpoint and one from a selfish standpoint.”

Basically Jennifer Lee wanted a song about the importance of the the wishes for both Asha and Magnifico, but Julia Michaels wanted to write a love song. As there were no opportunities to write a love song, Michaels wrote At All Costs to sound like one.

But in the demo, they sing "Love you, as one does", instead of "Promise, as one does"?

Probably Julia Michaels wanted to write a love song, but had to tone it down so as to not confuse the audience. Clearly, it didn't work that well.

Disney is lying!

Why would Disney lie about the development of Wish? As far as I know, there's nothing to hide, no scandals, no controversies.

Jenifer Lee is literally the chief creative officer, the highest ranking position of the creative team within the Walt Disney Animation Studios. She along Allison Moore WROTE the screenplay and she is part of the team that came up with that story. Wish was her brainchild. Why would she need to lie?

Maybe higher ups like Bob Iger and Bob Chapek screwed with the project. That's completely possible. Maybe we learn later some big and super shady controversy in the development of the movie.

But, by the time being, with all the evidences available, Wish seems to be the story she and others of the studio wanted to tell, even if general audiences reacted badly.

And so far, no evidence of romance.

Unless someone comes out with some legitimate evidence of the contrary, Star was never supposed to be Asha's love interest, and everything else is consequence of fans being dissatisfied with the end product and wanting for something more Disney-like.

[commsroom]

as an extension of how hera reads as trans to me, hera/eiffel resonates with me specifically as a relationship between a trans woman and a cis man. loving hera requires eiffel to decentralize his own perspective in a way that ties into both his overall character arc and the themes of the show.

pop culture is baked into the dna of wolf 359, into eiffel’s worldview, and in how it builds off of a sci-fi savvy audience’s assumptions: common character types, plot beats, or dynamics, why would a real person behave this way? how would a real person react to that? eiffel is the “everyman” who assumes himself to be the default. hera is the “AI who is more human than a lot of humans,” but it doesn’t feel patronizing because it isn’t a learned or moral quality; she is a fundamentally human person who is routinely dehumanized and internalizes that.

eiffel/hera as a romance is compelling to me because there is a narrative precedent for some guy/AI or robot woman relationships in a way i think mirrors some attitudes about trans women: it’s a male power fantasy about a subclass of women, or it’s a cautionary tale, or it’s a deconstruction of a power fantasy that criticizes the way men treat women as subservient, as property. but what does that pop culture landscape mean in the context of desire? If you are a regular person, attracted to a regular person, who really does care for you and wants to do right by you, but is deeply saturated in these expectations? how do you navigate that?

I think that, in itself, is an aspect of communication worth exploring. sometimes you won’t get it. sometimes you can’t. and that’s not irreconcilable, either. it’s something wolf 359 is keenly aware of, and, crucially, always sides with hera on. eiffel screws up. he says insensitive things without meaning to. often, hera will call him out on it, and he will defer to her. in the one case where he notably doesn’t, the show calls attention to it and makes him reflect. it’s not a coincidence that the opening of shut up and listen has eiffel being particularly dismissive of hera - the microaggression of separating her from “men and women” and the insistence on using his preferred title over hers. there are things eiffel has just never considered before, and caring for hera the way he does means he has to consider them. he's never met someone like hera, but media has given him a lot of preconceptions about what people like her might be like.

there’s a whole other discussion to be had about the gender dynamics of wolf 359, even in the ways the show tries to avoid directly addressing them, and how sexual autonomy in particular can’t fully be disentangled from explorations of AI women. i don’t think eiffel fully recognizes what comments like “wind-up girl” imply, and the show is not prepared to reconcile with it, but it’s interesting to me. in the context of transness (and also considering hera’s disability, two things i think need to be discussed together), i think it’s worth discussing how hera’s self image is at odds with the way people perceive her, her disconnect from physicality, how she can’t be touched by conventional means, and the ways in which eiffel and hera manage to bridge that gap.

even the desire for embodiment, and the autonomy and type of intimacy that comes with it, means something different when it’s something she has to fight for, to acquire, to become accustomed to, rather than a circumstance of her birth. i suppose the reason i don’t care for half measures in discussions re: hera and embodiment is also because, to me, it is in many ways symbolically a discussion about medical transition, and the social fear of what’s “lost” in transition, whether or not those things were even desired in the first place.

hera’s relationship with eiffel is unquestionably the most supportive and equal one she has, but there are still privileges, freedoms, and abilities he has that she doesn’t, and he forgets that sometimes. he will never share her experiences, but he can choose to defer to her, to unlearn his pop culture biases and instead recognize the real person in front of him, and to use his own privilege as a shield to advocate for her. the point, to me - what’s meaningful about it - is that love isn’t about inherent understanding, it’s about willingness to listen, and to communicate. and that’s very much at the heart of the show.

[drill-teeth-art]

I have no idea how to ask but here goes…

How do you shape your characters and your designs so good??? The shapes of them are soo good! Big, slim, sharp, round, etc! They’re all so good, how do you design them so well??

I could write an entire book on character design and how it's changed over the years and how open ended it is and what I think are good principles and what commonly shared rules are honestly a bit too overly restricted because I'm crazy about character design but! Shape work. Let's stick to that for now.

Now of course for bodies and body types my number one recommendation is: For the love of god look at real people of different body types look at actual photos of fat people and skinny people with different bodies different distributions of their weight look at disabled bodies look at trans bodies look at people of all different races and draw them and learn PLEASE.

Additionally...

Here's a little design principle I like to work with that I find very helpful for spicing up my designs. I find the common character design advice of "simplify your design to ONE major shape motif! circles for friendly characters. squares for stubborn characters. and triangles for villains." to be overly restrictive. And of course the pros giving you that advice aren't trying to say you have to do every design in that framework every time. But they're not really going into detail on how you can use more shapes to add more layers and interest to your character design. Also tbh I think that the "circles for friendly characters and etc" piece of advice is stupid actually. You can easily make a villain character that is all circles and a hero that is all triangles. Plenty exist already in media.

I see a lot of people trying to diversify their body types fall into this trap of drawing all their fat characters with the same fat body type. And even if it is an accurate way fat distributes, it's still not representative of the diversity in fat bodies. Something that helped me (along with looking at references) was introducing secondary shapes. An additional shape motif. As you can see on Toxi here, he's mainly circles and round shapes. But I also added a crescent motif! To broaden his shoulders more and give a pointy and sharp edge to him.

Your primary shape for a fat character doesn't even need to be a circle. Tempos is square heavy with roundness as the supporting shape to emphasize how unassuming and soft he deliberately tries to look. And you can apply this to characters who are slimmer too. Conductus is composed of longer rectangles supported by triangles to emphasize its speed and electrical theme.

Viperos' major rounded shapes are supported by triangles to emphasize their flexibility and power. Gaz's square shapes are pushed with round shapes to make him look stronger and more agile. Mesmeris' crescent heavy design is supported with squares to help her look sturdy and imposing. And it's all about context too.

Squares can read as sturdy and trustworthy or rigid and intimidating. Circles can be soft and friendly or flexible and slippery. Triangles can be speed and cunning but also power and mystery. It's not about saying "circles are always friendly!". You can make villains who are round and imposing. It's more about "I want my character to come across as (blank)" and picking what major and minor shapes you want to use to support that. And (blank) shouldn't be just one word. "I want my character to come across as fast and agile while also being large and round" is a much more clear goal for your design than "I want my character to come across as fast".

And again as always please use references of real people too. You can study my art, and I highly encourage you to study the art of other artists you like and how they design characters. And I highly encourage you to get a solid foundation of "what different bodies look like irl" so you can also be respectful and accurate in your depictions. And remember that creativity doesn't occur in a vacuum. Please take the time to also sit down and watch movies or look at animals or read books or look at videos of machines working or whatever. Look at tons of media. Creative designs don't just spawn from my brain. Toxi's look is partially inspired by centipedes that crawl on ceilings I saw a video of. Viperos' look was inspired by snakes and also roadrunners. I was inspired by that Virus Ghost from Scooby Doo And The Cyberchase for Conductus' look. Please remember research is ALSO part of the design process. So I appreciate you asking me how I do things because asking questions is part of good research!

Anyway! Long ramble! Hope all this helps you in your design endeavors.

[xxscarletxrosexx]

Spy x Family Ch. 99 Thoughts + Analyses

God, this entire chapter has been an extreme roller coaster from feeling excitement to sobbing--I'm terribly emotional when it comes to reading war stories must be from all the times I was forced to read war stories throughout my English education program to anger to resignation.

... but this is why I love Spy x Family and the brilliant storywriting of Tatsuya Endo.

Ch. 99 Spoilers ahead.

There's a level of depth and care put into these characters that make them feel so real. If you have someone who has family serving in the army or if you are someone who has read countless accounts of war, then surely you are affected emotionally by the horrors of war. In my case, war stories are what made me look at life and identify the meaning of it. Although I won't go into too much detail about my findings, I did walk away having a deeper appreciation for literature and for humanity itself, in other words, I cry easily to war stories. Hence the case of this chapter.

I was already prepared that Ch. 99 would be a devastating chapter considering that Ch. 98 ends with a cliffhanger in which the alarms go off just as Martha was going to confess her feelings for Henry, and that this 'side mission' story is expected to conclude before Ch. 100. And it truly did not disappoint.

As mentioned earlier, this chapter is a jam-packed rollercoaster ride with previous expectations motivating my excitement as well as my dread for the inevitable.

First, I'd like to address a part that excited me: parallelism.

What quickly striked me was how similar Henry was drawn to Twilight after departing his jail cell. Even the context of the chapter leading up to this physical change indicates that sacrificing oneself for the best outcome/greater good was a theme echoed by these similar character designs.

There is also a third "similar character design" which has become a popularized theory in a possible relationship between the Captain and Twilight. However, I'm starting to see that these similar drawing styles don't identify relationships, but alignment in sacrificing oneself.

I see this as an alignment amongst the three because we now have two lores that shared the impact of war and the injuries sustained, whereas the Captain/First Lieutenant has yet to have his lore addressed. We can surmise based off Twilight and Henry's background that their experiences from war is what continues to drive them in their chosen field/occupation. I'm excited for the day that we learn the Lieutenant's real name and his POV from war. It is then that we will finally get three POV's:

The West / WISE - [Redacted]/Twilight/Loid

The Neutral Civilian - Henry

The Ostanian / SSS - Lieutenant

This is the perfect time to segway to my next excitement: symbolism.

Even though the lore on the unnamed First Lieutenant/Captain has not yet been addressed, his scars tell me that he's experienced a similar outcome. Tell me, have you guys noticed that all 3 men had experienced the same injury found on the left side of his face?

When I looked into the symbolism behind it, I found that the left side of our brain is responsible for processing emotions. The injury to the left side of the face signifies an emotional trauma in which their emotional side had to be silenced. Given what we've already learned about Twilight and Henry's backstories, their personalities and thinking are often stemming from an analytical/logical approach.

Of course, old wives' tales are not always scientifically supported, so I was prompted to research more, and I stumbled across an interesting one regarding emotions found in different parts of the brain:

Since this is a theory, it should not be taken as a fact without repeated research and evidence to support the claim. I, myself, do not claim to be an expert when it comes to neurology or psychology. But this information, when taken from a creative writing/literary analytical stance, can support that the left-face injuries had essentially damaged the positive facial expressions--which can support Twilight and Henry's experience. Thus, we can also surmise that the Captain had experienced a similar fate.

Another thing that we can learn from these injuries (at the time that they were present) is that the character is currently experiencing a time of vulnerability--[Redcated] after returning from battle and Henry, who is still in mourning, is still a bit withdrawn from his students.

Another symbolism that I got excited about is the dichotomy between Henry and his father in character design.

Notice Henry's hair is straight and tied up in contrast to his father who has his hair wavy and loose. Although subtle, I found this character design beautiful for its ability to show a dichotomy in their social/political views.

Wavy hair can be perceived as something flowy, as in going with the flow. Because it isn't tied up, I see that Henry's father doesn't need to hold himself back, and is free to express himself and his views. In contrast, Henry's hair is straight and tied back. Straight hair can be perceived to support Henry's straightforward nature (which is also one of his weaknesses as well as covered in the previous chapters). When his hair is tied up, he gives an air of elegance and looks like he's got everything together. However, his hair tied back could also illustrate imprisonment of the mind, where his views cannot be vocalized at a time when tensions were high during the first war. Furthermore, his "rebellious" behavior resulted in him ultimately being tied down to what was imposed on him (marrying the person his father picked).

I love the detail in which Henry is drawn with his hair untied and unshaven. He's broken at this point, and as we all witnessed at the assembly, he loses control of himself over this grief that he's taken into custody and slandered a traitor. The next time we do see him is when his long hair is chopped off and traded for an undercut--a telltale sign that he was starting anew, and looking awfully like Twilight.

During this social climate, Henry was perceived as the 'villain' in the Henderson family due to his 'bad' behavior. But let me, just say that Endo-san loves to remind us through character design just who is the true villain. Did you notice it, too? It's the nose. Henry's father has a pointy nose, reminiscent of a witch, whereas he inherited his mother's round nose. Another small detail, but it made me laugh. This is why I love Endo-san.

Above, I have addressed what made me happy. Now, I will address what brought me to tears, that being Martha and Henry.

I mean, it's no surprise that they wouldn't have a happy ending. I was well prepared with the knowledge I know about them from present-day story that mentions of Henry's daughter, cameos of his wedding ring, and Martha working with the Blackbells, and recently reveals that she had an old crush on Henry. The absence of their love being pursued led us to believe that Martha may have had a one-sided romance. But ch. 99 confirms that Henry reciprocated his feelings for her due to yearning her letters.

It wasn't until news of Martha's life-threatening decision did it impact Henry significantly, and then his breaking point to realization that he loved her too late was when Martha showed her vulnerable side in her letter with the following:

I practically balled right here. I was teary-eyed leading up to it because war stories are always so heartbreaking, especially to those who sacrifice or don't make it home alive.

We now learn why Henry ended up marrying someone else is due to Martha's "inevitable" death--unbeknownst that her decision not to volunteer would also result in death. From what we read, Martha was too emotional to vocalize her situation clearly, and even if she did, her message would be blacked out, unfortunately. So it is evident that Martha was trapped and had no way out other than choosing to volunteer and ultimately "die" in battle.

Henry, on the other hand, could not fight the system, despite that he became a History teacher just to do that. He failed because his countrymen and the system failed him. He lost his beloved and if he were to continue holding onto his belief, he'd lose his ability to teach. Essentially, he lost the fight (to change history/improve the situation through education during that social climate), but not the war (in which there is still hope for history to change). Heny, ultimately, shared a similar fate as Martha through self sacrifice of his livelihood.

I was and still am completely discombobulated by the war and its impact on Martha and Henry that, to be honest, I completely disregarded Donovan Desmond.

I know I won't be able to capture the importance of his lines as eloquently and moving as I did with Martha and Henry, the former pair leaving a moving impact on me during this chapter, so I'd like to recommend my dear friend, @yumeka-sxf 's, analysis which covers more of Endo's brilliant story writing and character development decisions.

After rereading the chapter as well as her analysis, I agree with her point that Donovan Desmond was made to be the antagonist of the story. I believe Donovan's view of liars and holding absolutely no hope for them is a necessity for readers to continue perceiving him as a villain in the series. This is because we cannot perceive good and evil as simply black and white in the series when we have both Yor and Loid dirtying their hands in the name of protecting their countries/loved ones. We hold love for the characters in this series because of their personalities, values, and moral compasses amidst taking life after life. In their social climate they must always choose to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, which is why their tainted actions can be perceived as forgiven. Donovan Desmond, on the other hand, cannot share that 'exception' because an action/drama story needs a villain.

If you made it to the end, thank you so much for your time! I hope you enjoyed my analyses and thoughts on Ch. 99! What do you guys think about the chapter and my analyses? I'd love to hear more from you! :3

[i-heart-hxh]

Hello! I hope AX is fun!

I have a question along the lines of some that you probably have already gotten before. If so, sorry. Mine is basically: do you think people who say there's queer/gay subtext in Gon and Killua's relationship are reading too much into it, or are otherwise biased to an extent that it's effecting objectivity?

The reason I ask is: usually people who say these sorts of things are the borderline homophobic sort that insist kids their age can't be gay or make fun of people who like to engage with anime fandoms, but I have come across someone (in private, friend of a friend, lol) with a couple of arguments which I think leave out all that, and I thought it would be valuable to ask, both just to have a discussion and because I don't quite trust my own skills.

One point was that the famous shinjuu line isn't as romantically charged as the English speaking fandom makes it out to be, and that the word contemporarily refers to multi-death tragedy or dedication resulting in death generally, especially in the context with which Killua said it (being that he was about to follow Gon into a fight with Pitou which he knew they'd lose without any prior mutual agreement). The argument was that a romantic reading of the line comes from bias and unfamiliarity, and as a result isn't as paid attention to in Japanese HxH communities as it is in English ones.

The other was that a lot of the moments showcasing the intensity of Gon and Killua's feelings (such as the dodgeball or "you are light" scenes) are very typical/standard of shounen anime, which often have central themes of friendship that are frequently "overestimated" by fandom to be intentional romantic undertones, and that these two characters are not unique in that respect. They said determining romance-establishing purposes to scenes like the ones Killua shares with Palm is projection that interferes with analysis for all the reasons mentioned above. Part of the argument was that a romantic interpretation ignores a subversion of 'the power of friendship' shounen trope, as Gon and Killua have a comparatively tragic "end" (in quotations because obviously the story isn't done), where Gon pushed Killua away, Killua could not stand up for himself, and Gon ended up defeating a powerful enemy without him; adding romance to it obscures and misses the point of this subversion. They also said it was very unlikely for Togashi, should he want to explore queer themes like this, to be so subtle about it, and to not ascribe intent to the author.

The way I see it is that reading romance between Killua and Gon is just one of many interpretations someone may get from a culmination of moments from the text, and that a lot of meta analysis will inevitably be biased by someone's own experiences. For example, a lot of people can relate to the experience of having a baby gay crush, and so see themselves in Killua and read the character with that background in mind. I think the arguments I see here (on tumblr, but also your blog) are well-substantiated and well-explained, which I think are all that's needed for a "valid" interpretation.

Anyway. I apologize for the long ask. Thank you for reading all that!

Hi! AX was fun, thank you!! I caught a cold so I've been slow to recover this week, but I'm starting to feel better.

So, I've answered similar questions with a lot of different reasons why I think the subtext is intentional, and I think it's worth reading that first because it helps when thinking about Togashi's mindset and interests in his works. While of course I can't put words in Togashi's mouth, there is validity in examining things he has actually said and included in prior works and deducing some of his tendencies and patterns based off of that. I do not think it's a stretch or leap at all to read queer themes into the work of someone who has stated an interest in creating queer works, expressed that he enjoys and is influenced by queer works, is married to someone who created a work known for its queer themes, and has previously included queer themes in his works as well. And I mean, KilluGon isn't even the only queer inclusion in HxH by far either.

The thing is, I can understand where this person is coming from...up to a point. If you take any one or even a small handful of these points in isolation, sure, it's not difficult to say that perhaps the romantic reading of those moments is incidental and not intended to be taken that seriously.

I think the real problem with this attitude is that when you start adding up the number of times something with a romantic implication is included between Gon and Killua and look at the picture as a whole, it does reach a point where it gets increasingly ridiculous to claim it isn't intentional or has no real weight. Why would someone like Togashi, who has such an eye for detail in his stories, bother including these implications over and over and over again if he didn't want it to be read this way? Especially when he is someone who has expressed interest in writing queer stories? I struggle to look at the full picture and accept that there isn't a strong degree of intention to the decisions he makes.

I've seen tons of other anime, including lots of shounen, and while I understand that person's perspective with the fever-pitch friendships that the fandom then takes and interprets as more (something I believe Jump intentionally fosters as a marketing tool), personally I do see HxH as being several notches above other shounen series with regards to both how much subtext exists and also how seriously the bond between the characters is portrayed. To me, it does feel distinct from even many other series where male characters are commonly shipped for these reasons, and I'm actually rather skeptical with regards to the majority of these ships being considered canon or even close to it even when there is some basis the fandom is going off of. But I do think HxH leans into this aspect even more than most other shounen do, both in the series itself and in related offshots like the musicals and marketing and even how both versions of the anime were approached.

Also, I will say that I follow the Japanese side of the fandom pretty closely and read tweets frequently, and I do see people bring up the shinjuu line with regards to Killua's feelings and especially what it says about the gravity of how he feels towards Gon. I would actually agree there is less emphasis on it in the Japanese side of the fandom because the word (including the subtext) is already familiar to Japanese audiences and so they just see it upfront and then either take it that way or not, while it has to be explained to a non-Japanese audience due to the lack of cultural familiarity and also the inadequacy of the English translations to capture the meaning.

Regardless of the fact that it technically can be taken either way, I do strongly feel like the word was used by Togashi with intention and knowledge of how it's normally used in a literary sense. I believe Togashi made a choice to use that word on purpose and let his audience take it as they will. It's also worth noting that Gon and Killua directly parallel another lovers' suicide--that of Meruem and Komugi, who do use romantic language towards one another. Komugi says "I may not be much, but please, let me accompany you," which is an old fashioned way for Japanese women to accept a marriage proposal. This echos Killua's "Gon, you are light. Sometimes you shine so brightly, I must look away. But even so, is it still okay if I stay at your side?”

I also think Gon and Killua's friendship can be and is still a subversion of shounen friendship tropes while at the same time being romantically coded. In fact, that it is so close to romantic is a bit of a subversion itself. I don't think the coding gets in the way of the shounen friendship subversion or takes away from it--both can exist at the same time. I still say that the way the Palm subplot is constructed doesn't fully make sense if you remove the intention of the exact nature of Killua's feelings being explored. Otherwise why bother to have so much emphasis on romance as a theme? Why not construct things differently? Why not have Gon make a platonic friend for Killua to get jealous over instead? Why essentially give Killua a romantic "rival"? Why have Killua "stalk" them on their date and point out that's what he's doing? Why have him freaking out at the thought of Gon going on dates and then saying he wants to be with Gon forever literally the next panel? Why make his jealousy come off as romantic in nature because of the way the whole situation is set up? These decisions matter! Togashi could have approached this entire subplot from any angle, and yet he chose to keep repeatedly referencing romantic love when the focus is on Killua's feelings for Gon.

Obviously as someone who ships Gon and Killua, I do have a certain degree of bias, though I like to think I am able to step away from that and look at the series more objectively as well. I do have moments where I go, "I am I being a little delusional here? Do I need to re-assess?" and think over all of what we've been provided again and...honestly I just come to the same conclusion every time no matter what angle I try to look at it from. I do believe that Togashi writes the KilluGon dynamic in such a way that people who would rather ignore the romantic subtext can do so. It's a perfectly beautiful and complex friendship regardless of whether you acknowledge the romantic subtext or not. I think Togashi enjoys playing with the ambiguity of it. But just because it's ambiguous doesn't mean the romantic subtext doesn't exist or have meaning/intent behind it, and to me, adding up all the different choices made in the series, it does reach a tipping point wherein I seriously believe Togashi includes it with full intention and knowledge of what he's doing. And for what it's worth, I don't think it's actually that subtle. A lot of people notice it and wonder about it and connect with it, even including some people who don't actually want to see it (think about all the dudebros who post online going, "Is it just me or does Killua seem kinda gay???").

I hope this response is helpful to you! I wish I could provide more concrete examples in this post, but I feel like it's getting awfully long as it is. I do sincerely believe that the romantic interpretation is a valid and meaningful one that has legitimate merit when looking at the series. If others would rather ignore that aspect, they're allowed to feel that way, and of course no one is obligated to ship Gon and Killua in a romantic way no matter how much subtext exists. But I don't think that perspective erases the existence of the romantic implications, which are fairly heavy in my opinion when you add them all together.

[wherevenusholdssomeofficespace]

Why the Llama Incident works

The noodle incident is a trope done in A LOT of shows (PNF has a whole TV tropes page dedicated to its noodle incidents). Technically getting disowned and raised by ocelots is a noodle incident in pnf... we never do know what gets him officially disowned and how he ends up in the care of the ocelots). The noodle incident is meant to just showcase that this character has a history of some sort.

Generally speaking, explaining a noodle incident is a bad idea because the unknown has infinite potential. The intrigue is part of what makes it interesting. People can come up with ideas that are absolutely out there themselves. Usually, coming up with something that will live up to the hype is impossible because the hype of the event has built it up to impossible levels.

Emphasis on the usually.

They literally called it a llama incident. They knew what a noodle incident was, and were purposefully playing with our expectations that it would be an unrevealed event. And, as I said before, PnF has already dealt with its fair share of noodle incidents that go unexplained.

And as a noodle incident it served its purpose. Generally a noodle incident will provide context on what the status quo is without spelling out the details. In Rollercoaster the Juggling Monkey's noodle incident tells us that this is not the first time Phineas and Ferb have had a Big Idea (in fact we never do get what Phineas and Ferb's first Big Idea was). In Milo Murphy's Law the Llama incident tells us that Milo and Melissa were getting into Murphy's Law shenanigans long before Zack came into the picture. Showing us that they're so familiar with each other that situations that might require more context to another person doesn't.

Now bear with me as I go on a bit of a tangent that I promise is related.

The main cast of Milo Murphy's Law is a trio, and one of its members is defined by being the new guy. Zack is kind of an audience surrogate. Melissa is Milo's childhood friend and Milo has lived with this all his life. Generally, they don't need to explain anything to each other, nor do they need to explain anything to their class who is already at least passingly familiar with Milo. But they do to Zack.

I don't necessarily think MML NEEDED the audience surrogate character per se. Quite frankly I think audience surrogate characters are rarely necessary. You can always just start with a group of friends and fill in context via implication. I think it's just significantly harder, because you run the risk of alienating your audience by not allowing them to get settled in what is going on or having your characters talk about things like they don't already know what is going on.

But I don't think its at all an inherently bad storytelling method. I personally find outsider POVs delightful, and a good audience surrogate character is an outsider POV, at least at the start. Zack being new to the whole Murphy's Law allowed him a story about choosing to engage with the hazardous kid, winning him loyal friends and a set of skills he never would have dreamed of before. We get to see him grow, and we wouldn't have seen that if he was Milo's friend the whole time.

On the other hand he also has a bit of a wild background, as the former lead singer of a locally famous lumberjack themed boy band. Which gives Milo and Melissa the chance to join a band. Or for Milo to have a real birthday party. A change in status quo provides opportunities for growth and change, for the whole cast, which is useful in more overarching stories... like MML. It's not NECESSARY of course. Zack could have been a classmate that had always kept his distance before he accidentally got tangled up with Milo and decided he was cool. But there's nothing wrong with him being straight up new either.

And at the most basic level, Zack's complete unfamiliarity provides a nice contrast to Melissa's familiarity and Milo's day to day life. Zack is starting from 0 while Milo has been dealing with this every single day of his life.

So Zack isn't going to know what the Llama Incident is. And while noodle incidents being unexplained is fun for the audience, it isn't going to be so fun for someone who is constantly living with people who know what this Llama Incident is. Of course they could have told Zack the noodle incident off screen, it would have made for a good gag to cut into the story with Melissa and Milo finishing telling Zack the story. But instead, we are treated to an episode that has Zack really beginning to slot into his life as Milo's friend.

Back to the main point.

MML is one of the only shows with enough sheer chaotic energy that it could actually pull off making a group of seemingly unrelated references into a cohesive genuinely interesting story. The whole show is things that could feasibly be noodle incidents, which makes it easy to get a baseline for what could have happened. Milo uses stuff in strange ways all the time, getting tangled up with weird animals and ending up in strange situations. There's no REAL reason to feel like we're missing out on too much. It sounds like a normal Milo situation, just with only him and Melissa... and the fact they keep bringing it up.

And really, if you think about it, its just Planned in Advance Meapless in Seattle. Meapless in Seattle was meant to be a bunch of unrelated clips meant to be a noodle incident of sorts. We wouldn't know what exactly would go down in that fake episode. But they managed to bring everything together into a really fun episode that made sense and honestly lived up to the hype. (At least for me). I mean. They somehow made it work. That's a feat in of itself.

The episode "Llama Incident" starts out implying a completely different noodle incident. We never learn how the kids end up on that branch. That's not important. That stuff happens all the time. Is the Llama Incident more interesting than the other stuff Milo gets into? Not particularly, but it DID involve him using more stuff he didn't normally use.

And the Llama Incident is told in the format of a story. Changing up the format of the episode is always a good way to make an episode feel fresh. I mean, look at The Remains of the Platypus. It's just an episode told backwards but its delightful chaotic fun. Or Delivery of Destiny. Really the only difference is the day follows the perspective of a delivery guy, but we get all our normal plot beats. But both are some of my favorite Phineas and Ferb episodes. If you remove their gimmicks they're pretty basic. Phineas and Ferb build a cheese themed amusement park, and Doofensmirtz's plan is only slightly more novel with brainwashing Perry. Phineas and Ferb building a ride and Doof juicing city hall are pretty typical of them, but Paul's semi-outsider POV (and being one of the closest characters we get to having the full picture of the story we the audience see), makes it feel fun and fresh. It makes the Llama Incident feel special. Even if it isn't my favorite unique episode format, it's still something fresh and fun.

So Milo and Melissa sort of tell the story a bit out of order, because they forget what pieces Zack would and wouldn't have context for or would or wouldn't find interesting. And, again, it's told as a story to Zack, so he asks questions. It's told while they are hanging from a branch, where they cut back to every once and a while to remind us that hey, the group is in the middle of a whole other Murphy's Law incident. We're getting two for one today.

But through the episode we get a bit of a Zack character arc. We've already established that Melissa and Milo are used to this, even if you weren't aware the way they were casually rating it at the beginning of the episode should tell you all you need to know. But Zack isn't completely used to this yet, so he's just nervous. He spends the episode using the story as a distraction, but being genuinely invested. In the end, the story acts as an inspiration to Zack, and he's able to help the group get out of the situation. AND for his trouble, he gets his own mysterious incident to reference. After half a season, he's truly part of the group now. He will continue to grow of course, trying to become braver and cleverer, and he's already made strides since the first episode. But even if Zack isn't really any less part of the group before or after its still a significant moment in Zack's character arc.

And then the Llama Incident comes back the next episode. The date was memorable to Milo, even throughout all of the other chaos in his life. And sometimes that's just how life is. And he uses his knowledge of the event, the way it stuck in his mind, to save him, Dakota and Cavendish from Pistachion's in Missing Milo. What we thought was going to just be a noodle incident, a running gag that functioned to establish just how used to this stuff Milo and Melissa were, turned out to be a plot point. To be fair we didn't NEED to know what the Llama incident was for Milo to choose to go there. We didn't need to know about the Llama Incident to know it was typical Murphy's Law shenanigans. It could have just been more out of context llama stuff. But now we the audience are in on the joke, so when Cavendish and Dakota express confusion, we can revel in the fact we know something they don't. Especially about two characters who themselves were slow revealing information about themselves to us... sure by that point we know their deal but at one point they were as mysterious and out of context to us as the Llama incident. And now we know what the Llama Incident is, and what their deal is.

The Woodpecker incident also is vaguely referred to later with the woodpecker whistle. We may not know the full story there, but it is still satisfying to see Milo's adventures giving him the skills and tools to deal with bigger, actually hostile, threats.

And at the end of the day, even if the Noodle Incidentness of the Llama Incident is ruined, it was immediately replaced with the Woodpecker incident. Which admittedly is never mentioned, but it doesn't need to be. The point of the Llama Incident was to draw attention to a specific incident to make a gag out of it. But they have incidents all the time. And we're privy to most of them. We sometimes get references to other incidents that we never fully get the context for. But we don't need context. We know how it'll go anyway because we have a whole show of effective noodle incidents.

[zenosanalytic]

I've been thinking about how to articulate a thought I had about a possible Doylist/non-diegetic reading(EDIT: I originally wrote "Watsonian" here, which is the opposite of what I meant X| X| Brain, you Tricksome Jester *shakes entirely metaphorical fist*) of Eridan's Trollian handle, caligulasAquarium, in response to a post of @mmmmalo's, and I think I've got it.

Ok So: the popular perception of Caligula is as a "Mad Emperor". One of the points used in this depiction is his "War on the Sea", which is taken as obvsl absurd and empty and irrational(and possibly hubristic). Eridan chooses to call himself "caligulasAquarium" and he lives in a wrecked ship(a feature commonly put in aquariums)... on the surface.

So like: maybe the title is meant to be taken by the audience as ironic. Eridan's claim to an "Aquarium" is as absurd and empty and irrational as Caligula's claim to have warred upon the sea(in the common understanding of those events; as a matter of history this seems to be a Telephone distortion, from the sources I can find).

A few more points that have occurred to me since I started writing this:

Caligula "Made War on the Sea"; Eridan wants to "Make War on the Surface" by Killing All Landwellers, carrying forward the themes of inversion btwn Alternia and Earth.

Also: "Kill All Landwellers", "Kill All Humans": he's lampshading common evil-alien-overlord tropes

...Which in itself is sort of dunking on HIM, since Eridan is nobody's overlord he's just some GUY. Like: Yes, he's "Nobility" due to blood-caste, but he has no influence, no power, no RESPECT from anyone we meet, no friendships let alone alliances with other socially powerful individuals(other than Feferi, who seems to have foresworn all that to monastically care for G'lybgolyb) that he could USE to have influence; he's just a loner with his grand-dad's gun and allot of pretension.

...which you could argue furthers his parody of USian internet white-supremacists? Like: He is THEM: a gun-humping loner who only feels comfortable talking to the people he claims to hate, with no idea how unpleasant he makes himself to interact with, and even less interest in introspection or self-awareness, fetishizing past genocides as a way to claim for himself a "Glorious Past" he had nothing to do with.

As Feferi(and possibly other characters I'm forgetting) point out, Eridan's ambition to Kill All Landwellers is more than a little absurd. He's never really DONE anything to plan or prepare for it, and aside from Fef he exclusively hangs out with and befriends Landwellers, as well as LIVING ON LAND(well: a sandbar or reef). This could be taken as furthering the Caligula "War on the Sea" parallel.

Expanding on the last: Caligula, THE EMPEROR OF ROME and Grandest of Nepo-babies, was rather notably disdainful of and hostile towards the Roman nobility and inherited wealth/rank. This connects to Eridan in two ways I can think of: 1) his avoidance of other seadwellers, and 2) his philosophical hostility to landdwellers while Being, in practice, A Landweller. Basically: both Hate things about themselves shared by others.

Reinforcing #3: the choice of Caligula, a Troll-Emperor. Again: Eridan is Just Some Guy; he does not command armies, he does not command society, he can't even command Equius, who GETS OFF ON being ordered around. This is Pretension.

...which, I guess, you could connect AGAIN back to Caligula via the popular memory of him wanting to be treated "As A God", but it should be noted that 1)everyone who wrote anything about him hated the guy and was explicitly dunking on him, so we don't know how accurate these charges are, and 2)in the Roman context, while legal apotheosis was reserved for after death, imperial Divinity was already de facto given that sacrifices and prayers to the Emperor's health and success were legally mandated civic religious duties, AND 3)that classical Greeks and Romans, contra the Abrahimic societies which would later create this popular memory, considered apotheosis a real possibility for notable individuals.

[that-ari-blogger]

"Eda, do you have kids?" (Eda's Requiem)

The Owl House is a series about identity and the freedom to express oneself the way they wish. It explores the ways in which that affects relationships with others and oneself. Self-image, mental health, love, all fall under this bracket. This is partly why I would refer to The Owl House as a queer story rather than just a story with a queer protagonist. It engages with the concept in a nuanced way that I think is interesting.

The Owl House is also about family. The theme was present at the beginning, but it was very much a background thought. However, season two examined this idea in a ton more detail, through the Golden Guard, through Amity, and even through the side characters.

But the single best part of The Owl House is its ability to weave themes together. Family and identity are parts of each other. A family is a group of people with a shared identity, and a persons sense of self is usually defined by their experiences with their family. That is why found family is a part of family, it’s not about blood, it’s about connection.

This duality is directly the cause of my two favourite episodes in the show, Reaching Out, and Eda’s Requiem, the latter of which deals with a crisis of identity and a juxtaposition of past and future.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (The Owl House)

How does Eda define herself?

That is a question that grows more complicated over time. She is the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles, which is a neat thing have while it remains true. However, she stops being that at the end of season one, and still clings to the moniker, why?

“How did you become the Owl Lady with your stage fright?”

It’s a persona, an act that she puts on to impress everyone, including herself. It is an identity that she wears like a mask, and who would know more about wearing masks than Raine Whispers.

I’m going to take a brief moment to talk about my favourite little detail in the series, and I give all credit to @Idlescreee’s video, Names in The Owl House: Breakdown and Analysis, which pointed this out to me.

I am one of those people for whom silence makes my skin crawl, and so I like to put on music or white noise while I work. One of my go to sounds is that of rain, I am literally listening to it as I write this post.

So Raine Whispers is a quiet name about the beauty of nature and the quietness of a natural sound. Perfect for a bard, right?

Well, not exactly. Context gives meaning more than anything else, and Raine’s context is the Boiling Isles, in which the rain is acid, making a hissing sound as it destroys everything in its path. Raine Whispers is a name that refers to the fury of nature. It is quaint at first glance but could destroy you if given the chance. A fitting name for a spy.

In any case, the purpose of Raine in this episode is to provide a contrast to Eda, they are someone from their past who has changed a lot since the two last met. Raine is unconditionally the wisest character in the series, and their ability to read people is unrivalled. So, they can see through any illusion she throws up.

They are also the first named non-binary character in the series, and it is a neat piece of storytelling that a character who’s sense of identity involves not being confined by binary gender would be against a villain who runs on categorising people. It’s not dwelled on, which is a strength of the show’s normalisation, but it’s cool, none the less.

The mirroring of Eda means that the audience can notice the two’s similarities more easily. Most importantly, Eda has also changed, although not as much as she thinks.

I am going to bring back the concept of a lowest common denominator style of character analysis. Essentially, a character can be boiled down to a single concept that cannot be changed for the character to stay the same person. The character can switch up their entire identity, allegiance, or even body in some cases, but it is this attribute that keeps them recognisable.

For example, Hunter is brave. He switches up characterisation almost entirely over the series, going from the Golden Guard to the most precious boi over the course of two seasons, but he keeps the fact that he is, at all times, bone numbingly terrified, and still able to persevere. Hunter is brave.

Eda, meanwhile, is complicated. She is an agent of chaos, but she brings stability to the lives of everyone she is close to. She is against authority, but that is an allegiance rather than a descriptor. So, with the full understanding that this is inaccurate, I will say that Eda is free.

Again, this is inaccurate, and oversimplifying, but it’s the best I can come up with. Eda is unabashedly herself, and the primary conflict of this episode is trying to work out who that is. So… Eda is Eda? That’s unhelpful but hold onto it for a moment.

The episode itself follows an opportunity to live the good old life with an old friend, and Eda jumps on it. She is growing distant from Luz and King, and she doesn’t quite understand why this upsets her as much as it does. She has become a parent without even realising it.

So, she takes the chance to go with Raine, chasing the high of connection and creating the persona of Mama Eda, although that is where the analysis gets weird.

Maternal and paternal behaviours are different across cultures, but they are usually not specifically necessarily reliant on gender. Yes, they are linked by association (it’s part of the words), but it’s not intrinsic.

Case and point, in the culture that I read this story from, Eda is absolutely terrible at being maternal. So she doesn’t try to be, instead, she fills a ton of paternal roles in the lives of those around her. But it’s also inaccurate to read her as entirely paternal. Instead, she fits both roles, leaning further into one, but not entirely.

Essentially, Eda parents in her own way, and struggles when trying to live up to “the right method” of doing things. Eda is Eda. She excels at doing her own thing. Trying to define her as one archetype is reductive and misses the nuance of her character.

What I think is really interesting, is that Eda realises she has become a parent when the story essentially threatens to take her family away, and she is surprised by how she feels.

While I have my opinions on the fake out, it is an effective way to see what the fear of loss does to a person, or rather, the fear of unimportance.

Being a parent is about guiding your children, but its also about letting go. Eventually, every bird will eventually leave the nest. However, that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. People still need guidance, even as adults.

Eda is willing to throw her life away as a last-ditch effort to help her family without having to say goodbye. She doesn’t think they need her anymore, so she is willing to go out with a bang. But she is wrong.

Eda clings to the instrument, even as it kills her. She thinks that love means dying for the people she cares about, but that's not entirely true. You have to live for them as well. I wonder who else in the series could learn that lesson.

A rhapsody is a musical piece associated with strong, enthusiastic emotions. A requiem is about remembrance. Raine’s song is about hope, and the joy of a future yet to be. Eda’s is about a past well lived, and the memory of that love. If you put the two together, you get a song that can bring down a mountain.

“Eda, do you have kids?” “Uh, they're not mine-mine. Well, it doesn't matter. They both have real families to return to.” “I don't know what you're running from, but a great witch once told me... something about punching fears in the face? What I'm trying to say is don't give up so easily. They probably need you more than you realize. We can find another way to stop Belos together.”

Remember what I said about Raine being wise? This is that.

Raine teaches Eda that she is still needed. She lets Eda know that her purpose isn’t gone, its just different. You are different people all throughout your life, you just need to remember what you have seen, and change with the times.

Why is the line read of this girl realising she's back in the conformatorium so heartbreaking?

I also want to point out the fear of insignificance from a found family perspective. Eda thinks that her relationship with Luz is less valuable than their blood relations, but I don’t really believe that. Eda has taught Luz magic and sheltered her from a literal dictator. She has raised King from childhood. I think those are pretty important things for a family member to do, whether through direct relation or not.

In the resolution of this episode, King changes his name to be an official part of Eda’s family, which, sure, that’s how things work in the Boiling Isles.

“Surprise, Eda! Now we're connected for life, and there's nothing you can do about it!”

She’s a parent now, and that relationship is as important to king as finding out who his biological father is. In other words, Eda still has a purpose, and the fact this surprises her means that she has a lot to learn, but she is better at it than she thinks.

One last thing I want to talk about before I go is that Raine is a unique rebel. Usually, in stories about fighting an authoritarian regime, the cost of rebellion comes up. This is the conceit of Andor, but also part of Wicked, and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. In these stories, the idea that one person must use the tools of their enemy. Not as bad as their opponents by any stretch of the imagination, but sacrificing their own morality in a small way for future generations.

Raine doesn’t do that. Raine is fighting for a better world, and at all times, they will sacrifice their plans to save the individual. Raine has plans in motion that can counteract any single “failure”, but crucially, preserving the world they want to protect is never a failure to them.

So, in summary, found family is just as important as blood family. More important in some cases. Eda has built her identity around being a parent without realising that is what she has been doing, this episode is her confronting that. Raine is cool. Defining people is difficult and takes away from who they are as people. The Owl House is a good show.

A Kikimora is a creature associated with sleep paralysis. So her ability to paralyse people is a neat thing, as well as that "night night" line.

Final Thoughts

This season has a string of episodes that are determined to break me, but I will stay strong. Through The Looking Glass Ruins, Hunting Palismen, and now this. But I’m fine, I’ve got this.

Eda’s Requiem is one of my two favourite episodes in the series. I can’t gush enough about the music, the pacing, the purpose seeking. This is so compelling, and it really works as a piece of storytelling.

The episode does have one flaw, in my opinion, and to me, this is an example of how one weird piece of direction can mess with my suspension of disbelief. The extended syllable whenever anyone says “legally” in this episode is so… off putting. It’s like King is expecting to be cut off, and it’s asking for Eda to misunderstand him. It’s such a small detail, but the episode is almost perfect otherwise, and this sticks out to me like a sore thumb.

The episode is still phenomenal though, and so to balance out my criticism, here’s a small detail I really liked. When Eda punches the guard, his head spins around 360 degrees. First up, the casual worldbuilding that this guy can do that but also the fact that the outfit doesn’t react that much to it means that it has been made especially to fit his anatomy. That’s a cool detail.

Anyway, next week I’ll be looking at Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door, which is a Hooty episode. Something fun, and entertaining. I’m sure nothing plot relevant will happen then, right? Right?

Stick around if you want to see my analysis of that chaos.

Previous - Next

[tenyearsoftrash]

Ten Years of HTP: A Celebration

Hi all, I (@eatingcroutons) set up this blog with all sorts of intentions about preparation and promotion and then Life Things Happened, but I'm still hoping to go forward with the idea of encouraging some nostalgia and memory-sharing about the last ten years of the HYDRA Trash Party.

The aim here is to be more of a celebration of community rather than your typical prompt fest - if you're looking for prompts for fanworks you might want to check out the @catws-anniversary that has just kicked off and will run until the 4th of April, or of course refer back to the Trash Meme itself!

So for this blog's purposes, feel free to post informal thoughts and musings and ramblings, and to comment on each other's memories - this is all about our shared history and nostalgia, and the idea is for it to be an open dialogue and celebration of community. A few points on logistics:

Anonymous asks and submission are open on this blog if you'd prefer not to participate under a named account. We all know how hostile certain corners of fandom have become to darkfic and adjacent content.

For all the themes below self-recs are also very welcome, if you want a chance to show off something you made years ago that hasn't gotten much attention in a while!

Go ahead and tag this blog at @tenyearsoftrash for a reblog of anything you post about the below themes!

All that said, here are some suggested themes and ideas to get you thinking and reminiscing:

April 4: Rewatch CA:TWS!

Take yourself right back to where it all began! With too many people across too many timezones we're not going to even try to organise a massive synchronised groupwatch, but maybe you could get a few of your old-school HTP buddies together to do a smaller one? In any case: fire up the movie, relive all the feels, and share any HTP-related thoughts that come (back) to mind after all these years!

April 5: Fanwork Recs

Go back and dig up some links to your favourite HTP fanworks - whether big or small, well-known or niche, what are the works that have really rewritten your brain chemistry, and stuck with you all this time? What was it about them that hit just the right spot? Feel free to share your thoughts on Tumblr - and to go back and drop a nostalgic comment on anything on AO3 😉

April 7: Meta Recs

Over the years there's been a lot of meta associated with HTP, from discussions of what CA:TWS and HYDRA represent in a broader social context, to endless back-and-forth about darkfic's place in fandom. Are there any posts that really made you think, or that remain relevant even now? Is there anything that came out of those meta discussions that has turned out to be particularly prescient, in hindsight?

April 8: HTP Fanon

What are your favourite bits of shared or personal fanon around HTP and its related concepts? Are there any Original Characters you're particularly fond of? Any particular tropes regarding characters or events that you will never get tired or bored of? Any ideas that might seem cracky on the surface but which you are totally into regardless?

April 8: Other Media/Fandoms

We've all had those moments where we've come across something in a new canon and immediately been like, "Oh, this is delicious trash bait," right? What other media has had a "Bucky Barnes Obediently Accepts The Bite Block" moment for you? What other characters might your fellow HTP friends enjoy as interesting targets for Trash Party Shenanigans? In what fandoms have you found yourself running into an awful lot of familiar HTP faces?

April 9: WIP Amnesty

Do you have any HTP fanworks that you never finished, or never got around to starting, for whatever reason? Now's your excuse to talk about them! Feel free to ramble about what your plans would have been, lament why they're never going to happen, or share some of those great ideas you never quite had time to plot out. Or, if you're feeling particularly inspired, go back and actually finish something off!

April 10: HTP Community Memories

To finish off the week let's talk about the community itself! What have been the good times, the interesting times, any times that have been personally significant to you, for any reason? What things have you experienced or shared or understood with or through or because of the HTP community? What new friends have you made over the years, and what old friends do you miss?

---

Apologies again for taking some time to getting around to making this post, but hopefully people will still be interested in doing some reminiscing!

[xjulixred45x]

Since you write for TOH and write for Character!readers too, can I request Luz, Amity and Hunter with an Angel dust reader? I saw the one you wrote for a Stolas reader and I was hoping if you could do this too.

Hello! Yes that's right! Thanks for the Request

(I JUST KEEP SOME TRAITS FORM ANGEL OF THE PULOT BC LETS BEING HONEST, THE CANON ANGEL SHOULDN'T BE LET NEAR CHILDREN)

Luz Noceda, Amity Blight and Hunter with a Angel Dust Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: male

Warnings: Reader has a horrible family life so acts like a jerk to cope, it's not a excuse thoug. References to toxic relationships on both sides, fluff-comfort.

Luz Noceda

Luz was probably the second to interact with the reader. just sharing a table in the beast handling class.

reader specializes in controlling small animals and insects, mainly arachnids.

so OBVIOUSLY Luz was VERY interested in it right away.

However, it was quite difficult to interact with the reader.

not because he distanced himself from people, at all, but rather that he used extreme...methods to get attention.

like using a giant spider creature to tie someone to the ceiling for example (and refusing to let them go for the rest of the week) or stealing things from other people's cabinets with small spiders.

and of course, there was the reader himself.

He acted extravagantly and exaggeratedly, but Luz could tell that he really just wanted attention, no matter if it was positive or negative. It made her sad.

so she decided to be his friend!

They're like Angel and Charlie fanon basically.

The reader goes to the owl house when he wants to get away from his own family, to the pleasure of Luz and the concern of Eda.

He is partly a bad influence friend, but more than anything because he doesn't know better (or rather his own family doesn't want him to improve no matter how screwed up he is).

Luz teaches him more about empathy and respect, so he tries to apply it to certain situations that he finds favorable. and to a certain extent it works, he no longer messes with the students like before.

READER.LOVES.A.KING. She tickles him, she holds him like a baby, she makes him spider-themed clothes, she finds him so adorable!

Luz sees this and KNOWS that there is something good with reader, it is a fact.

Luz is also very protective of the reader when it comes to her family or certain relationships that put her in trouble, she won't think twice before getting in front of the reader and taking out the glyphs.

and Luz also defends him from those who still hate him for his bad jokes or previous attitude. He is learning and improving, but really appreciates the extra help.

although he still needs help to know that it is not just a project for Luz and that they are still friends:'(

Imagine the reader speaking in Italian (context: Angel from the pilot is from the Italian mafia) and Luz speaking in Spanish together🥺some words are similar, so it would be fun if they spoke a strange mixture to tell inside jokes without anyone understanding(Eda is very proud).

Luz and reader have definitely pulled a few pranks on Hootie in retaliation for eating some of reader's pet spiders (may they rest in peace) and have a good time.

Hootie no but that's another story lol

reader is definitely the guy who makes Luz THIS FACE 😏 when he notices her crush on Amity and collects information about her as if he were the fucking CIA and the FBI TOGHETER.

he's a surprisingly good wingman lol.

Overall, it is a very healthy and sweet pair.

Amity Blight

oh boy...

probably the one who first met the reader.

and even A LOT OF POTENTIAL as he could.

since the reader's family is full of gangsters - I mean, BUSINESS MEN, so it wouldn't be strange to think that Odalia would be interested in their... services.

and thanks to this Amity has interacted with the reader since they were both children. both with their different demons to deal with.

On the one hand, Amity had her toxic mother and absent father, but at least she had her brothers as allies...sometimes.

That was the first thing she noticed as a reader.

He doesn't have ANYONE.

His brothers reject him, his father hates him and his mother does not even figure, he is alone against them, against the world.

He and Amity identify with each other and become "allies" from a young age.

not friends, just allies.

allies for when the other needs something, whether socially or...in other things.

I would say that while Amity is a bully, reader is a mean Girl. and who Amity genuinely likes, since they understand each other in more personal ways.

Thanks to this, the reader has more immunity to his practical jokes and even Amity finds some of them funny when they are directed at the right person.

but eventually Amity matures, and so does the reader, and they begin to see each other more closely, because if there is anyone who knows what they go through, it is the other.

Amity fears being rejected, yes, but it is something that the reader also feels, they both demonstrate it in different ways. one seeking approval, one seeking attention.

so Amity tries to make it clear to the reader that you don't have to be special or fall into a category to get attention, you just have to be genuine with it.

They both definitely go to the library to relax, I don't think the reader reads Azura but he listens to Amity rave about her.

Amity will also probably suggest that the reader get a job there so they can be away from their family. like her.

The reader, even with all her flaws, makes it clear to Amity that she doesn't have to be outstanding either, in fact he likes her more when she's a book nerd or when they're out of school, when it's THEM.

Amity definitely goes straight to violence when the reader's family tries to hurt him :)

They are definitely both divas when they are together.

I can see the reader being that friend who helps you choose an outfit, and does that with Amity constantly (or helps her dye her hair)

They both match lol.

The reader likes Amity's palisman, constantly putting it in a bag and walking it (much to Amity's concern).

When Amity goes through the situation with her family, you can bet that reader has an army of spiders after him as he breaks into Blight Industries😅

and he is also the one who cheers the loudest for Amity in the fighting tournament.

in general, two children from dysfunctional homes being functional with each other💜

Hunter

definitely the one who met the reader last.

and probably by the time he had already settled into the Hex squad group.

or else..

Let's say they met when the Flyer Derby happened. reader decided that he would give Willow a hand because he couldn't find Luz or Amity (and thanks to his familiarity with spiders, he can imitate several of their movements IN THE AIR very well).

and Hunter knows him like that, like a teammate.

Similar to Vainy, Reader relies primarily on defense, but uses something...peculiar.

"SPIDER SHOTS LOSERS HAHAHAHAHAH"

Yep, he can basically launch spiders like they were projectiles.

Hunter must have been like "look at that potential"

although in general everything was half ruined when he wanted to make them have the secret of the emperor's coven and all that...

The next time the reader saw Hunter was in Hollow Mind, because he was at Luz's house.

He definitely laughed at how Hunter was talking to Flipjack🤣

but when Luz and Hunter returned from Belos' mind, reader could SEE the trauma in Hunter's eyes, the PURE FEAR.

and he felt...bad for him...

Let's say that thanks to this he is one of the quickest to accept Hunter into the Hexquad, not only because of his genuine repentance, but because he reflects a little of himself in him.

and Hunter is no stranger to this.

When Hunter asks the reader why, he is honest, telling him how he used to do exactly the same thing as a defense mechanism, hurting others to feel better, to satisfy others...

...and they still hurt you and leave you behind...they make you feel worse about yourself...

Hunter can relate this to Belos, but realizes that the reader goes through this with his own family and also empathizes.

Both are a strange duo, Hunter alternates between being the most intimidating to being the one who protects the reader tooth and nail (for a change)

Hunter definitely has trouble understanding reader humor, but he thinks her spider-themed outfits are incredible.

low key, he envies her ability to sew, but eventually they both embroider things to pass the time and do bonding.

Without realizing it, Hunter begins to adopt some humor to joke with his reader😅 everyone fears for their lives.

The reader definitely teaches Hunter certain mechanisms that help him in a healthy way to manage trauma and panic attacks, whether it is mind fullness, breathing, physical exercises, lists, etc.

reader LOVES Flipjack and you can bet he makes him clothes (and he also makes clothes to honor him when what happens happens :')).

FOR GOD, READER HAS TO TEACH HUNTER FASHION SENSE.

I think they could even both do sparring or play flyer derby when they're very bored, or the old cabar un oyo, boy stuff.

In general, Hunter empathizes with the reader on another level, and both work based on that. a good pair of friends without a doubt :3

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[lxmelle]

Just some thoughts on the observable pairs we see - satosugu and itafushi. Not really an analysis or anything - just sharing my observations. Blabbing as usual. I’m sure I’ll miss something, so feel free to comment or reblog!

Word vomit under cut (please be warned: I did say I wanted to blab ;_;)

I shared a more concise version on X but I guess I wanted to elaborate in a stream of consciousness style.

So here I am. Here you are. Feel free to click away if you’re get bored 🤓

There are parallels between Gojo & Geto and Yuji & Megumi; however, they’re inherently different people. I came across some tweets rethinking the last words in jjk 0, saying things like: this is how stsg should’ve done it, etc.

Yeah, I do get it... just... I just think they’re different people within a different set of circumstances. Could it have been different? Sure. But if they could have a chance to re-do something - at what point would one pick? How would that even guarantee the best outcome? No Toji? Haibara doesn’t die? Gojo admits he is lonely? Or Geto admitting he is lonely?

Mind you, they learnt about love through their separation... How would those lessons have been learnt? There would be no guarantees of Teacher AU being a reality. It would be nice, but that would be straying from the story that has been masterfully - albeit painfully littered with ANGST - written by Gege Akutami.

It is enough for me that Gojo and Geto reconciled at the end of their lives. Salvation. Being together for what could be eternity (for as long as they chose to stay) in 236 is, for me, already a beautiful bittersweet love story. Especially after all they’d been through. Anyway. My point is... context matters. I don’t really enjoy discourse over who did it better. They had what they had. They made the most of what they had. And the tragedy is what is relatable and is beautiful too. So once again, they’re unique characters within a setting that is different.

Their bonds are therefore, by extension, also very different, although there are similarities. I don’t want to engage in debates over which is superior - that’s not my point, intention or interest. They’re different and appreciable within their own uniqueness.

Friendship is friendship, and love is love, after all. But even within the expression of affection and love, our individual needs and/or methods of expressing such emotions will differ.

I think to consider themes and what insights we can gain from these two… We have to look at their situations in its entirety. Gojo, Nanami, and others from that generation learned about the necessity to protect the youth.

So I think: compared to what Yuji and Megumi had, it seems as if what Gojo and Geto had (in terms of emotional safety and intimacy) were with each other - and it was somewhat lacking due to their own individual limitations. They had no other significant persons to speak of - at least, for certain, for Gojo. Since we don’t know Geto’s history aside from how he had human parents and he was scouted <- But more on this later.

What Yuji and Megumi had was by no means adequate, I don’t think, but at least from what we can infer from Gojo and Geto, it was more than what they had. Not only because the adults within the sorcery world like Yaga, Nanami, Gojo, Shoko (perhaps?), and Ino were more involved than whoever else were teachers during Gojo & Geto’s time - but Yuji had gramps and Megumi had Tsumiki who offered the a glimpse of what familial love is.

They had some form of a secure bond in another person to offer a sense of security and inherent worth. Megumi lesser than Yuji, but this is also why we see him as an avoidant-ambivalent kind of person who is also much like his father who grew up emotionally deprived and rejected. His sense of worth came from being independent and aloof despite being emotionally and psychologically deep (and parched for compassionate & authentic human connection).

The school itself seemed to have more teachers and fellow students. Possibly fewer curses due to Geto’s active efforts for 10 years to amass 6k for the Night Parade. Furthermore, more sorcerers may mean fewer student casualties (fewer deaths like Haibara’s) and improved manpower to counter curses. And when it came to Yuji’s time, not only was he personally rather resilient, he had companionship with Nobara, Megumi, Todo, Choso... that bordered on familial love and likely assisted with maintaining his sanity when faced with the gruesome cruelties he witnessed & endured.

And circling back to Geto: We don’t know what Geto had growing up, but for him to be that emotionally attached to Gojo, and that way inclined to immediately rise to fury (at the abuse of the girls + having been asked to kill them) and seek to avenge, protect and become a parent in his teens - can can assume he was somewhat parentified himself. Meaning, he likely learned the need to play this role during his formative years - likely him childhood.

He felt highly responsible for everyone and his personality was as such where he took things very seriously & earnestly. The parallel was drawn between him and Yuta - the original “parallel pairing” from jjk 0. The world he was shown was far too cruel; especially for someone who felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and didn’t know how to share it with someone who he probably saw Gojo as shouldering it in his own way. The perfectionist that was Geto who tried to live sincerely and be a role model ended up falling through a gap, leaving him with no choice but to force himself to keep living towards some kind of a redemptive goal, within a punishing life consuming vile curse after curse (his only source of stress), to either succeed a crazy dream, or die trying to Gojo’s hand. But he remained true to himself - Geto lived for others. He was only ever shown to be selfish with one thing: Gojo. (Don’t follow me: It won’t be bad to die by your hand. I’m envious.)

They had no capacity - knowledge, experience, or language to reconcile their differences. It wasn’t as if anyone showed them how to share the burden. Right? Throughout HI - did anyone offer comfort to Geto? That man was so very much like a “mum” who mops up shit and vomit without complaining. The emotional and mental burden. I wrote about this before - Gojo is masculine-coded (Yang energy). Geto is Yin. This is another parallel with Megumi and Yuji. Shadows - Yin. Yuji is kind of dazzling isn’t he? Light, heat, strength. Yang.

And Gojo? The “sheltered but forced to grow up too quickly” boy probably never knew what being nurturing love or unconditional love meant until Geto came along. Probably never thought he needed it. When touched by someone’s love and compassion like this - isn’t it natural to just react to it? To lean into it like a monkey separated from its mother, with only a warm furry surrogate to cling onto? Never thought he needed it until it was no longer there. Why? It would be enough to inflict some kind of an identity crisis for someone like Gojo Satoru. How could someone NOT want him for his strength?! For the first time Gojo Satoru probably felt a vulnerability he could not bring himself to eliminate.

With a background like theirs: It’s no wonder what they developed was a form of codependency. They complemented one another in so many ways - it was effortless and natural. Both strong, both intrigued by each other, could keep up with conversations, engage in mischievous cheekiness, etc.

They almost/probably(?) completed one another - but of course, what fulfils a person cannot just be one other person alone. Especially as a monster like Gojo Satoru with a thirst for fulfilment of his powers and someone like Geto Suguru who needed to have a deep meaning and purpose in life.

Think about a sportsperson and a philanthropist, respectively. Neither should be expected to concede to the other and be forced to be satisfied with the other alone. It doesn’t and shouldn’t work that way.

The respect and love they had for each other was profound. It was beyond themselves. So they did their best to support each other without an open conversation in the 10 years - just like a quiet love. Apart from each other. Despite the time and distance, their selfishness and possessiveness for each other was also telling of their twisted love - it’s crazy exclusivity. Geto calling Yuta a womaniser simply for healing/having a friend in Maki and then processing his love for Rika? That still makes me chuckle. As much as Gojo liking dogs (source GIGA character book) because Geto was once mistaken for Takeru the dog. 😂 unbelievable. Other examples: I’ll die to your hand. If you were there I’d be satisfied. Hm. Yeah. Crazy exclusivity. Almost at the expense of themselves...

Anyway. In terms of bonds: The codependency between Gojo & Geto is both a positive & negative. Maybe a byproduct of their generation & lack of emotional support within that time. The title as the strongest was a burden to Gojo & Geto (together and individually) that was different to that of what Yuji and Megumi carry respectively. So the context, era, setting, etc. would’ve shaped them differently too.

It’s also worth remembering that Megumi’s level of self importance, like Yuji, is not like that of Gojo or Geto who carried the weight of huge responsibility from a young age. Their bond was also therefore a little bit more twisted comparative to what Yuji and Megumi have.

And despite the short time together, we do see a the beginnings of preciousness between them with Yuji being determined to at least reach Megumi with a conversation in his fight with Sukuna - despite the insane power difference.

It’s absolutely mind-blowing when I think about this teenager going head to head with this old fart who is on the level of a calamity and has taken countless lives. And earlier on, soulful yet apprehensive Megumi not wanting someone compassionate like Yuji to die. Even making a request with Gojo to do something about it. Like a sense of inner knowing that the other was someone special and worth protecting. Yin is also associated with intuition.

They also underwent transformation where “if you die I’ll kill you” is now replaced by a different dialogue spurred on by Megumi’s honest narrative of the simple pleasures of living… and the devastation of his very down to earth/humble dreams being dashed and Yuji’s heartfelt response that showed acceptance and love beyond himself for Megumi’s plight. It was really moving. The power of such a love and the capacity of Yuji to grow as he did. Perhaps it was also because he was given the ingredients (love, faith, friendship, belief, resolve, etc.) to nourish him whenever he faced adversity. I mean, resilience is about growing from “trauma” and overcoming the tendency to hide which can result in becoming brittle (therefore weak).

Anyway. They’re like Gojo & Geto on a speedrun. But that is not the only difference… The forcible nature of having their bodies & wills violated - taken over as vessels for Sukuna- used to commit crimes against their desires - is something they share. A point of reference that can lend itself to relating to one another. It stimulates protectiveness. Compassion & connection.

Surely a common enemy changes things? Gojo & Geto could not see eye to eye when it came to it. Timing wasn’t on their side. Almost as it lateness was a theme. It was difficult to be vulnerable to one another. It almost mimics real life generational differences. They existed in a different world. When a common enemy is present, it is normal to rally together. Once again, their roles were different. Stronger than their sensei. Their expectations will be different as a result. Tengen requested their assistance.

Were the younger generation shielded from such burdens? I’d say so. Those on the frontlines within the school probably also changed (a little) after Geto defected, especially with Gojo using his influence to save and protect his students. We saw how Yaga reflected on his regrets as a teacher, relating to Gojo who opted to be a teacher too.

I think it was horrendous how nobody really noticed or anticipated that Geto would struggle the way he did. It was left to a peer (Gojo) we had no personal resources to support Geto in his own youth. It didn’t make sense. There was a lot lacking, as we know. It was a different time with someone to shield the young sorcerers to some degree. There was already a “strongest” (Gojo) when they were born.

Further, Gojo did his best to offer the kids something different - with Megumi having a different option to the Zenin & Nanami’s involvement with Yuji.

Their loneliness have subtle differences, so Gojo wasn’t lonely (in 236) with the companionship of others after being taught how to connect with people by Geto, but he still needed Geto to feel fully satisfied.

I think that’s why Geto said he was envious, because he assumed after hearing those words that Gojo was fully satisfied - eventhough his last words to Geto must have implied that Geto was important to him. Geto had a void that only Gojo could fill but he was, as ever, conceding enough in his love for Gojo to say “as long as you’re satisfied I’m relieved for you.”

Gojo corrected him by telling him he still needed him to feel fully satisfied. Implying it was something only Geto could fulfil. Gojo’s heart grew to accommodate his students and everyone but the shape in his heart of Geto was for Geto to fill.

Similarly for Geto, when he defected, he also wore the Gojo kesa like a lingering connection (longing/codependency). He did not feel he could smile as sincerely as he once could after he committed the crime and had to leave his best friend’s side to pursue the only option left.

Their love was somewhat twisted in nature, as it blessed/saved & cursed them equally. They needed other things to fulfil them but their bond was irreplaceable.

I’ll say it again: a partner’s place isn’t replaceable by students, children, friends, etc. Especially if it was someone you truly love. You can grow around the grief but the shape left behind by that person is still the same shape of that person.

Another way I conceptualise it is how they feel that the other completes them. On their own they feel incomplete. Lacking. Therefore to Gojo, Geto was a part of him. So he would feel incomplete (as a person) without Geto - within this kind of codependent bond.

It was noticed by others like Shoko who pictured them as a pair who seemed like nothing could come between them. A pair who she could never fall in love with individually, or offer to one what the other offered... (love, of course) but she was there. Shoko was never one to shoulder the burden of strength and the involvement it entails, but shouldered the entirety of having to witness passively (helplessly) from the sidelines. This was symbolic of their roles. Fighter versus medic. Gojo & Geto in a world of their own. They were the strongest. Somehow this role mattered to them. What a burden of responsibility that could erode their human nature. Don’t you think?

Back to parallels: With Yuji & Megumi, their relationship is younger. Despite the year between them the apprehensive Megumi already trusted Yuji so much that he considered him a brother on the same level as his sister. He’s a good judge of character. I always enjoyed how perceptive Megumi was.

With the loss of Tsumiki, I’m sure the bond will change / deepen as he realises his value as a person (not just observer standing behind Yuji & Tsumiki) with a new reason to live/fight. Adopting the same purpose as Yuji, perhaps, for each other. We do not know how much they rely on the other for fulfilment, but I’m encouraged that their bond will be unique and rich after these life experiences. How could it not be? How could Megumi not respond to such a kind & heartfelt expression of sincerity? Because Yuji isnt asking anything of Megumi : he was very simply saying: I’ll accept you, Megumi. What a demonstration of unconditional love and compassion. Incredible. It reminded me of how Gojo found the words to say to Geto to save his soul at the end of jjk 0. But once again, lateness seems to be a theme for the older generation.

As it stands, Megumi wished to see Tsumiki with Yuji and he observed from behind. Once again his level of self importance wasn’t high. Neither was Yuji who felt he was a cog in the wheel, a sacrificial vessel, etc. until recently. Gojo and Geto grew with the notion that had set roles to fulfil as the strongest. This was true of the time. And when we think of who they had around them… each other. Gojo and Geto were very codependent so they’d imagine themselves walking together. But in the end I can see how Geto felt like he was watching Gojo from behind. And Gojo felt he watched Geto leave - twice over; the final time to his own hand. Thank goodness for 236.

So I think the relationships have parallels but they are different… I don’t think this can translate into the last words in 0. Gojo admitting he will miss Geto or that he would be lonely - would sound too much like a curse. Thematically the only thing that fits is “I love you”. But the unsaid implications for the feelings (will we meet again, loneliness, my best friend, I love you, etc.) were all hinted at.

The similarities between them as individuals are many, for example : Geto and Yuji consume curses, and I think the intimate knowledge of this helped them have empathy. Geto and Megumi manipulate shadows/curses/creatures. Gojo and Yuji are strong in constitution and cope with adversity with resilience. Further, Gojo and Yuji suffered loss of someone important and witnessed their suffering, allowing them to let go out of compassionate mercy, despite the loneliness it created for themselves. Gojo and Megumi were blessed with historically revered Cursed Techniques. Being vessels also became a parallel: Yuji and Megumi to Sukuna & Geto to Kenjaku and Gojo to Kenjaku’s technique via Yuta. In this sense, Yuji and Gojo both became vessels upon their own volition.

For someone like Gojo he may not have struggled with the loss of comrades in the past and in the future. Geto did and this was also what broke him without the support to maintain his emotional wellbeing. Yuji saw far too much tragedy within a short space of time and the difference is not only in his personality but the availability of people around him who regarded him as family - Todo, Choso, etc. Megumi is like Geto in that sense where they were selective in who they wished to save, knowing their limitations maybe, or the wickedness within their flawed humanity. But the loss of the important ones also broke them. So I think in that way they respected and admired those who could remain objective like Yuji and Gojo.

Loneliness was a given. Gojo could not ask Geto to live, & at the end of 0 Geto must have thought that someone (strong & objective) like Gojo who raised such students & could cope with the deaths of others better than he, should be allowed to keep living on a righteous path after all - so he could die with a peaceful heart knowing he was loved by Gojo even after “leaving him behind” and urged to live righteously on a different path. He also didn’t kill any sorcerers which was the group he chose to protect.

They were both lonely in life, needed each other to feel complete (codependency), so in 236 they reunited as a form of salvation. As many others have said... 236 was also like a comfort for satosugu fans because without it, 261 would’ve been even more painful.

With just 5 chapters until the end... I’m not really ready for the series to end, but I’m so grateful Gege sees that he can can finish it as he envisions. Hopefully we get a satisfying conclusion to Yuji & Megumi (and end up getting some bonus side stories or backstories).

Ah I’ve rambled far too much. All this is just my opinion / observations of course. Parallels are parallels but they don’t necessarily overlap. I’m looking forward to seeing how the relationships of the new generation will unfold.

…and not forgetting about the fate of Yuta & Rika 😣 since they go back into 0 & have similar parallels with the pairs.

Hopefully curses can save people’s souls too...