#That one time I was psychologically tortured

[altocat]

It’s been a long while since I have read the avatar comics, so I’m wondering why you don’t like Ursa? I’m very likely not as informed to form a fuller opinion of her so what’s your opinion?

Ohhhh god the Ursa thing...

They revealed that Ursa's disappearance wasn't caused by her being dead or held hostage or lying low and waiting for the right opportunity to reveal itself. Oh no. It's revealed that she selfishly decided to give herself amnesia and live out the rest of her days with a new husband and child while leaving her two kids with Ozai where they would no doubt be warped and abused for the rest of their lives. The Search expanded on her past and showed us point blank that Ozai was an abusive and toxic husband and father. So Ursa choosing to never go back for her kids or have any intention of even REMEMBERING them is really, really vile. Sure, she's in exile. But her choosing to sacrifice her memories of them solidifies that she never intended returning to them, much less think about them.

On one hand, I would be totally fine with Ursa starting a new life with a new family, albeit while still dwelling on the children she left behind. It would be really interesting and bittersweet, especially if she was biding her time waiting for the day when Zuko became Firelord and she could return home at last. But the fact that she had no intention of ever seeing or remembering Zuko and Azula again while KNOWING the kind of person Ozai was is pretty irredeemable. Zuko and especially Azula have huge hang-ups about their mom and Ursa legit not giving enough of a shit to ever come back unintentionally makes Azula look CORRECT when she says that her mother never cared. And worse still, the comic seems to brush Ursa's actions under the rug like it's nothing. Zuko immediately forgives her and--bonus--gets a shiny perfect supportive new baby sister to replace the problematic OTHER one. Azula is no angel by ANY means, but The Search is basically an excuse to torture her psychologically for three issues with no catharsis, with Ursa subsequently not bothering to look for her daughter in the comics to follow, even after regaining her memories.

Azula's big insecurity that drives her nasty behavior is centered on the internal fear that her mother saw her as a monster and never really loved her. Turns out, she was probably right. Or at least, her mom didn't love her enough to fight for her, allowing Ozai to corrupt and twist her. Ursa wasn't coming back to prove to Azula that she always loved her and wanted the best for her. In the flashbacks, she's only ever shown ignoring or scolding the child Azula, basically giving the reader no indication that she actually cares about her daughter. At least not anything that's especially solid. That's not even digging into stuff Zuko went through after she left. You'd think Ursa would take one look at Zuko's scar and apologize for not being there to protect him. But no. No mention at all. Sure, she left in order to save Zuko's life. But there was still never intention of rescuing her kids, no intention of ever wasting another thought on them now that she's found what she's looking for. They were an afterthought. The comic is all about her reclaiming autonomy with a new husband and family as a fuck you to Ozai, but it ignores the really messed up fact that Zuko and Azula NEEDED their mother more than she seemed to need them.

The Avatar Comics have honestly ruined Ursa beyond repair imo. There was a better way of writing this and they choked it. She is truly detestable and the fact that the comic never actually calls her out on it just makes it worse. Characters like Lucrecia are characterized as intentionally flawed and were FORCED away from their kids, with whom they had no prior relationship. But the difference between Ursa and Lucrecia is that while Ursa completely abandons all thought towards her kids in pursuit of a selfish happiness, Lucrecia does nothing BUT wallow in self-loathing and blame. Lucrecia was suicidal after losing her son, and sought to punish herself for eternity for it. Ursa fucked off and willingly chose to forget her responsibilities as a mother, all while her children suffered.

It really fires me up. Azula and Zuko deserved better. The READERS deserved better. This was a long-running mystery in the ATLA community and the answers we got were really disheartening and kind of fucked up. And without the narrative nuance to explore the grayness or negativity behind such actions. It's really just a shame.

Anyway, rant over lol

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Eyes and Eyefestation who actually do want their partner to look at them?

Eyes

"Don't look at me, don't look at me, don't look at me-" is what they used to say in the past in frantic undiscernible whispers, wishing they didn't cause hotel visitors physical (and psychological) pain.

Now that they have you as a partner--wearing special glasses/contacts to block 90% of the damage they'd normally cause--they are delighted that you could look at them and talk without being in agony!

You never really got to see their eyes before, and now that you could and also saw the blue flaming aura surrounding them...

You swear you're staring back at a literal angel.

Something truly ethereal.

Since then, they've kept you company throughout the hotel, hanging out near the key and the real door, lighting up dark rooms and warning you of Rush in the greenhouse.

When you're stuck in the mines, Eyes still keeps up with you via teleportation, making their presence known and trying to help where they can (ie blinding Giggles).

But they've grown rather needy since realizing you could look at them.....as now they want you to do nothing but that.

It's tough when you gotta hide, look for Screech, or avoid Figure, Seek, and the Grumbles. And often the tiniest distraction meant starting back at the broken elevator.

But your death isn't too concerning to Eyes, as you'll just come back and be able to look at them more and more.

Why would you ever wanna stop?

Eyefestation

After learning she stuck around the Hadal Blacksite specifically to spite humans, you thought she'd put you into that same category of awful people who tortured her with injections..

But after you found your own workaround her radiation beams, she's..actually grown quite fond of you, impressed with your ability to adapt and meet her one request:

Look

Look

Look.

And indeed you do...or at least whenever it's safe.

I hc she has object permamance so if you're just walking by an Abstractee, she'll get upset thinking it took you away from her..

Only to be content when you reappear a second later.

Unlike Eyes, she knows you have to prioritize avoiding Pandemonium, and Mr. Lopee certainly won't allow you to stay behind and chat with her if you're with a group.

Still, she's convinced Painter to lock you in more gauntlets with her, and he's surprised, thinking she utterly despised you.

But no, she wants to just look at you and be alone with you. Even for a short time.

And Painter still obliges, now believing you cared more about her than the crystal.

[backpackingspace]

You know that tiktok sound you would not hold up well under torture I DID well. No one holds up well under torture. No one walks away from being tortured not completely destroyed. That's the point of torture. So...I think I'm going to stop being ashamed for not holding up well under my torture experience. I was trapped In a bad situation and in the aftermath I reacted to that torture that's nothing to be ashamed about. That's nothing to blame myself for.

[dykealloy]

“we sent yuan away so his feelings could subside” you sent him to gay rizz bootcamp is what you did

[stuckinapril]

Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter

[royaltea000]

He’s like the worlds shittiest Madonna to me

[sapphorror]

You know, I think there was a real moment of clarity achieved here with the revelation that he's the thing most likely to get in his own way. That's like, the most self-awareness he's shown over the entire course of IZ canon, I'm almost proud. It's too bad about the brain damage, but,

[shadystranger]

this moment so fucked up💀

[ultfan]

me when tumblr recommends me someone defending dr3 in the tags and i read through the entire thing and get mad bc they don't understand what brainwashing really is.

[petrichormore]

I’m too lazy to analyze it someone do it for me but that part in the convo q!Bad had with q!Baghera where she says something like “The workers could have a family, they could be someone else’s egg” and q!Bad responds with “yeah I thought about it, that’s when I stopped uh…”

because that seems very important to me. it seems like a confirmation of the fact that q!Bad saw these workers as mindless drones and Walter Bob as an outlier, an mistake on the federation’s part. And then when Ron essentially confirmed that it wasn’t, that they all have feelings, he stopped.

Stopped what? Stopped seeing workers as nothing but extensions of the federation? Stopped psychologically torturing Ron? Stopped keeping him in a damp cage? Stopped resisting the urge to care?

Stopped what? No matter which option you pick, you learn that q!Bad thought about the workers in a certain light, learned information that potentially severely contradicted his belief, and then reflected and adjusted his own behavior accordingly. If the “that’s when I stopped…” was about to end in “torturing him” that feels like a huge… something… about q!Bad and his supposedly “unhinged” nature.

There are a couple natural conclusions to that sentence, almost all of them make q!Bad seem a lot more… something… than I’d originally given him credit for.

[doubledyke]

if we've ever spoken, please consider this a formal apology 🥴

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Another L for the Max hating Seb girlies, we love to see it! <3

[backpackingspace]

Terrified that my therapist actually followed through with her idea to watch hannibal after the fifth time I compared my experience to will graham's and that I will actually have to talk about that tomorrow

[hopetatic]

i had no clue i would draw him again. but well, what am i gonna do with 3 hours of newfound knowledge about this one arg? Nothing? AS IF

Close ups below

[brown-little-robin]

my last week, a visual demonstration

[1327-1]

just now finding out who jpegmafia is while my creativity is back like. he's joining my arsenal.... i'm so back