#The Child Manuela translation

[christas-museum]

The Child Manuela: Mädchen in Uniform book (new translation)

CHAPTER 6: II (do not miss)

For more parts (updates are irregular, up to several times a week), click #The Child Manuela translation

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[gguk-n]

Renewed Passion (Lewis Hamilton x Reader)

Summary- What happens when you meet your right person, wrong time after 18 years of actively avoiding him? Will the love that stayed dormant bloom in full spring or stay dormant? Will you give your heart a chance or will you listen to your brain?

I wanted to make this as cohesive as possible. Sorry if it's not. Google translated Italian. Kinda fucking long lmao. Implied smut.

Part 2

mio dolce bambino- my sweet child

Amore- Love

Il moroso- Sweetheart

[Reader's POV]

I opened the door to my neighbours house and walked right into the kitchen. Manuela was making pasta. It was our traditional bi-annual movie night with the Antonelli's. Our families have been neighbours and friends for generations. Me and Manuela had grown closer after she married Marco, so close in fact, that she made me Andrea's god mother when he was born.

Speak of the devil, Andrea walked into the kitchen and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. Andrea was on track to becoming a F1 driver. He had the passion and drive in him. I've watched him race a couple times. But I try to keep my distance from race tracks. "I missed you, zia" Kimi exclaimed. I smiled at him patting his back, "aww, I missed you too" "I wouldn't have, if you came to the race." he pouted. "Everyone had come. It was literally the home race and you didn't" he sulked. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I just had a lot of work" I reasoned while giving him a hug. The real reason I didn't go to the race wasn't work and it made me feel like a shitty aunt for not being there for this kid, I considered my own.

"Toto and the Mercedes team met me, again." Kimi announced. I looked at him quizzically. "If you had been present in your nephew's life, you would know." he chided. I apologised and asked him to elaborate. "Well, Toto needs another driver on the grid for Mercedes." he said. "Oh, does Lewis need a new teammate." I asked. "For someone who's nephew is a F2 driver, you know nothing about the sport." he declared. "You know I don't enjoy sports." I reasoned. Actually I stopped watching F1 after 2007. "Actually, Lewis is moving to Ferrari next year, so Toto needs another driver next year with Russel." I was shocked. "Zia, are you listening?" Kimi asked. "Oh, yeah, sorry." I apologised. "You have to come to the Monaco race." he demanded. "You know I'm so busy and I don't even get the race, it'll be so annoying for you." I tried to convince him. He was having none of that. Sadly, I was emotionally black mailed into attending the race in Monaco.

The race weekend was in full swing, Manuela was busy and couldn't make it, so I had to be present for the whole weekend with Marco. Formula one were honouring Ayrton Senna. I was forced by Kimi on to the paddock. With my luck, I almost immediately ran into Sebastian as Kimi left me alone to greet his friends. "Y/N?" Sebastian squinted at me. I smiled and walked towards him, raising my hand with a smile, "Yeah, that's me, Sebastian." I said. He shook my hand. "It's been so long, when did I last see you?" he asked, getting lost in thought. "Macau Grand Prix, 2005" I said. His eyes widened. "I'm surprised, you even recognised me." I laughed. "I don't think I can forget, you and Lewis were insufferable. Both of you made sure we felt lonely." he reminisced. I faked a laugh, "Yeah, that was so long ago. How've you been?" I asked trying to change the topic. "I've been good. I retired." he said. "I heard. That was a good run." I nodded along to my words. "What brings you here?" he quizzed. "My god-son is a F2 racer. He dragged me here." I replied. "Really?? Who is it? Do I know him?" he questioned. "I'm not sure if you do, but Kimi Antonelli is my god-son." I explained. "The 17 year old Toto is after." he chuckled. "It was nice meeting you. See you around Y/N" Sebastian said while leaving after being summoned.

I walked around the paddock. This was my first time in Monaco. I had been able to avoid most of Kimi's races when he was younger since he would believe whatever I said. As he grew older, it kept getting even more difficult since he is quite persistent and tenacious when he wants something; traits you want in a racer not your nephew.

I enjoyed the cool wind blowing through the paddock until I heard Kimi, "Zia" he shouted out to me. I turned around to see Kimi running towards me, "I want you to meet someone." he said dragging me to where he came from. We stopped in front of the man I spent the past 18 years avoiding. "Zia, this is Lewis Hamilton. Lewis this is my god-mother, Y/N Y/L/N." he introduced us. Lewis was always and will always be the love of my life. I kept up with the sport enough to know what he did. Eventually, I stopped obsessing over it. He slowly faded into my memories. He was the reason I never paid any attention to F1. I avoided it as much as possible. He was my right person, wrong place. I never truly moved on from him, I mulled over my thoughts as I was snapped out of them to quickly raise my hand towards him. He shook my hand. It was still slightly rough from all the years of driving; tears pricked my eyes.

Kimi couldn't stop gushing about me to Lewis. His eyes seemed so familiar yet so unknown. The years had treated him well, having won the World Driver's Championship 7 times and ageing like fine wine; I thought. I had lost track of what the conversation in front of me was until Kimi excused himself and asked me to keep Lewis company till he returned. My mouth hung open to protest as Kimi walked away. "You'll catch a fly, darling." Lewis said while using his index finger to close my mouth. I moved back from the sudden touch. "Do you still hate me?" he asked with a pained expression. I could never hate you Lewis, those words remained in my throat. "No" I mumbled. "That's a relief. I hope you only remember the good times." he stated hopefully. I just smiled at him. "I should get going" I announced, turning around until I felt a hand wrapped around my wrists, "Aren't you supposed to be in the Mercedes hospitality" he asked softly. I hated it when he was right. I turned around with a forced smile; "It's my first time in Monaco, I gonna walk around for a bit." I said pulling my hand away from him. "Then I can walk with you, since I've been living here for years" he exclaimed. "If I wanted to walk around with my ex, I would've said so." I stated firmly; walking away swiftly. This was going to be a long weekend.

After walking around for a while and tiring myself out, I met up with Marco who was in deep conversation with Toto. Both of them greeted me and Marco introduced me to Toto. I was a casual spectator in on their conversation when Lewis joined in. Marco knew of the history me and Lewis shared, he would be on the receiving end of my pining. They must've ran into each other at some point; did he never mention me? or Ask about me to Lewis; I wondered. "You look bored" broke me out of my thought, Lewis's lips extremely close to my ear. I shifted to the side, almost falling from losing my balance.I braced my self for the impact that never came, strong arms enveloped me, pulling me close. Time slowed as I found myself locked in gaze with my saviour. I could feel his breath against my face; a sense of warmth spread though my stomach. "You okay" he murmured softly. It was like time had stopped. My eyes slowly darted to the two other men in front of; I quickly pushed Lewis away and straightened myself. "I'm fine. Thank you for catching me. I'm gonna go get some water" I rambled, excusing myself to the refreshments. I almost sprinted to the table, grabbing a bottle; when Lewis took it from me and handed me back an opened bottle. "Still as clumsy as I remember" Lewis chuckled. I gulped the water down. This was not how I imagined ever running into my ex. Let's hope the weekend ends without any more trouble.

I was ready to leave mid-way through the day, but Kimi had a tight hold on my arm as he took me along to introduce me to his friends. I had brought some cookies and treats as a present for the other boys. They all seemed quite well mannered, I must say, for a bunch of teenager. Even when me and Lewis dated, it was like we had magnets attached to us, we'd always be gravitating towards each other. My eyes met Lewis's for a split second before I brought my attention back to Oliver Bearmen, a good friend of Kimi's.

Flashback

"Come on, Y/N. I don't wanna go alone." Mia, my roommate moaned. "Then don't go" I chided. The look of shock on her face was priceless. "Those tickets were fucking expensive and you said you'd do anything for me." she pleaded. "yeah, anything means anything around the house. You know I don't even like racing, it's so" I stopped looking for a better word but none came to mind "boring" I continued. "You did not just say that" she replied in disbelief. That's how I ended up at a Formula Renault UK race in Silverstone in 2003.

Mia had gotten us good seats, I decided to find some snacks to entertain me during the race so I excused myself to the stands to grab something. On the way there, I ran into a man. I braced myself for the fall instead two arms wrapped themselves around my waist steading me and pulling me closer. I opened my eyes to be face to face with a pair of chocolate brown eyes. My heart lurched into my chest. "You okay" he asked. "I'm fine" I replied still in his arms. "As much as I would love to have you in my arms, I have some where to be" he stated. Embarrassed, I fixed myself up. "Thank you..." I looked at him expectantly to say his name. "Lewis, Lewis Hamilton" he replied extending his arm out. "Thank you, Lewis. Y/N" I said while shaking his hand. "You're here for the race, right?" he asked. "Sadly, yes" I responded. A playful smile played across lips at the answer, "well then, let's meet after it's done?" he asked hopefully. "Sure, at least I have something to look forward too" I smiled. "I'll try to make the race eventful" he called out as he ran away.

I didn't know the guy I ran into was a racer. Only found that out when he won the race and was called on the podium. I decided to return to the same place we had the collision, in hopes of running into him again. I waited around until I heard someone call out my name; there stood a very sweaty and wreaked of champaign Lewis. "Congratulations" I commented. "Thank you" he replied. "Didn't take you for a racer" I cocked my eyebrow at him. "Did you like the race?" he asked with a cocky grin on his face. "Not really" I chuckled. "Well I can make it up to you, if you would like me to" he questioned. "And how would you do that?" I asked. "Go on a date with me" he asked with the softest and brightest eyes. "You drive a hard bargain, Mr Hamilton" I replied. I acted like I was thinking before I agreed to go out with him.

Present time

"Earth to zia, you there?" Kimi asked. "Yeah, what were you boys saying, again?" I asked. "Do you have a crush on Lewis?" he whispered in my ear. "What?" I almost screamed. "You've been staring at him the whole time we were talking" he pointed out. Fuck, that's gonna be so embarrassing for me. "You know, he is single and your age. Do you want me to ask him for you?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "No no, I just got lost in thought." God, this is going to be tough. "Zia, look he's coming here. Act natural." Before I could comprehend what he meant, I was being greeted by Lewis for the third time today. Can this day end already? "You still find races boring?" he whispered in my ear. I pushed him away, Kimi was staring. "Yes, I hate races" I stated boldly. "Maybe I can change your mind." he teased. "No, thank you. If you will excuse me. Bambino" I tapped Kimi's shoulder, "I'm gonna go get something to eat. Would you like anything?" He said he didn't want anything so I left to get some food.

The day ended with me thankfully no longer running into Lewis anymore. But I did enjoy watching Kimi during free practise. He finished P8 and I consoled him by saying that they were just figuring stuff out and how everything worked. He seemed to cheer up and we ended up having dinner at a restaurant near by. The city was lit up with the hustle and bustle of the race. I saw a couple more racers and people asking for their autograph. I teased Kimi about forgetting me when he's a formula one driver and being too rich and famous for me. He looked appalled at the suggestion. The night came to a close with us back in our rooms and back in bed but sleep wasn't going to come to me this easy.

Flashback

Lewis was finally back from the races. Following him around was proving itself to be quite challenging while being a full time uni student. I decided to make the most of the little time we had together by dragging him around to an arcade, to the mall and lastly my couch so that we could watch Finding Nemo. Lewis was willing to entertain all my childish demands, I realised. We were cuddled up together, our legs intertwined, one of Lewis's hand was under my head and the other rubbing my hand. "You're distracting me, Amore" I muttered. "Pay attention to me them" he pouted. I turned my head around and pecked his lips, slowly turning my body around to face him. I cupped his cheeks; "I missed you" I mumbled against his lips, kissing him again. He pulled me closer by my waist, deepening the kiss. "I missed you too" he whispered against my neck as he left open mouth kisses down to my chest. His hand squeezed my ass, while his lips started suck on one spot. He pushed me against the sofa and took his shirt off in one swift motion.

Present Time

Okay, I need to stop thinking about Lewis, especially naked Lewis. This isn't helping my situation at all. Why am I acting like a teenager? This was starting to get humiliating for me.

After a troubled sleep, morning seem to come very late. I was pulled out of bed by Kimi who was very annoyed that I was still in bed. I quickly got dressed and met Kimi back at the paddock. I spent the whole day following Marco around like a lost puppy. I didn't even see Lewis the whole day. I guess the schedules don't match for F1 and F2. Part of me hoped to see him. I found myself searching the paddock for him. At the end of day I returned back to the hotel heartbroken.

Sunday was my last day in Monaco, Kimi did okay at the sprint. I congratulated him none the less. We decided to go out for dinner and it would be my treat. "I just wanted to do well, for you" Kimi sulked. "You did well, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you. You've come so far, mio dolce bambino" I said giving him a hug and pat on his back. I told him to rest and then we'll head out for dinner. I was looking for Marco to confirm the plan with him, when I saw Lewis, who looked visibly annoyed. "Hey" I waved at him. I saw him visibly relax and wave back at me. I found myself walking towards him, "Everything okay?" I asked. "Yeah, it's nothing. Just team issues" he huffed. "Sorry about that. I hope you can resolve it" I reassured. "Is this why you're moving to Ferrari, next year?" I questioned. "You know" he looked shocked. I laughed, "Kind of hard to miss, when Toto is actively pursuing my god-son." I chucked. "One of the reasons" he added. "Well, I hope you find success" I smiled at him. "Can I hug you?" he asked hopefully. I nodded and opened my arms for him, he found himself wrapping his arms around my waist. The sensation was so familiar, it didn't feel like we were hugging after 18 years. I started rubbing his back, whispering reassurances.

"How long are you here for?" he asked while pulling away from the hug. "I'll leave tomorrow morning." I replied. "You live in Italy?" he queried. I nodded. "Stay, for a few more days. I just, I've missed you" he announced. I bit my lip, "Do you remember why we broke up?" Lewis seemed to think for a moment.

Flashback

"Il moroso" I croaked, my voice hoarse from the screaming match we were having. "No, Y/N I don't get it. Why is it so hard for you to be there for me? It's the least I can ask for?" Lewis yelled. We had been going back and forth, I was in my third year of university and going to all his races while trying to pass the semester and doing an internship was proving to be difficult. It had put a strain on our relationship. He was only in the junior championships and required travelling a lot, I couldn't imagine how much he would be travelling once he was a formula one driver. I hadn't been to a race in a couple months and it was not something I was able to do as often as Lewis wished with the time and financial constraint. In all of this Lewis had seemed to forget that I had a life of my own that I was trying to build while in a foreign country trying to pursue my bachelors.

"Love, you know I can't make it to all the races" I reasoned. "Well, the others can. Some how you're the only one who is so fucking busy" he emphasised. I let out a sigh trying to calm myself down. "I really wanna be there for you Lew, but it's just not possible right now. I landed the best interning job for my degree. It'll help me with my future" I justified. "Your job is more important than me" he probed. I could feel the tears ready to fall, "No, it's not. But you're acting like yours is" I explained. He let out a strained laugh, "Just say it, you don't care about me" "You're putting words in my mouth" I argued. "There are no words to be put, when that's how you feel" he taunted. I ran a hand through my hair, almost pulling at my scalp; "Damn it, Lewis, I fucking love you and I want to be there for you. But you are behaving like a child" I called out. "If I am such a child, then break up with me" he snarled. We had fought before but never like this. We never even joked about breaking up. "I just want to support you and watch you succeed. But that doesn't mean I'll get to do that beside you at all time, I have a life of my own too, you know" I tried to reason with him. "I will succeed, whether I have you around or not. I can't be with someone who can't prioritise me" he said. I faked a laugh, "Ha, says the guy who can't see past his stupid cars, you know what Lewis, I hope you succeed, I truly do. But I also hope you miss me and yearn for the woman that supported you through so much every time you succeed." I declared. "Now, leave my fucking house. We're through" I shouted while pushing him out before my tears started to fall.

I spent the next few days crying, moping around, eating a shit ton of ice cream and having Marco console me. That man really heard me pine and crib for months. The only time I was truly happy during those sad months was Andrea's birth and being asked to be his god-mother. I took those duties very seriously. That kid helped me move on from my first adult relationship and heart break.

Present Day

I've dated multiple men after Lewis, but no one stuck. I never even settled down because deep down my heart was still stuck on him. I kept up with Lewis's life until I graduated and slowly lost the time to keep up with formula one. When I heard he had won his first world championship, I was in London, working at my 9-5 when my colleague ran to me to announce that a Brit was the latest world champion. I saw his face plastered on the news and felt some sort of relief, watching him succeed like he said he would. I had almost forgotten about it all, until Kimi joined the Mercedes drivers academy. I had kept my space from all his races after he transitioned to single seat racing.

"You know what you said, the day we broke up, came true" he uttered. I gazed inquisitively. "About me succeeding, but missing you" he stated. I looked at him in disbelief for a moment, before the words came back to me, I placed a hand on my chest in shock, "I didn't mean" I said before I was cut off by "I know you didn't. But I did miss you a lot whenever I won a race or for that matter my championships." he smiled at me, reminiscing all those moments. I smiled at him sadly. "I'm sorry for ruining your wins" I mumbled. "You didn't ruin them. But" he said with a glimmer in his eyes, "there's a way you can make it up to me" I peered at him with uncertainty. "Go on a date with me" he said. "Lewis" I responded. "Y/N" he replied. "You remember why we broke up, I still have a job that I love and my life has really worked out in my favour" I commented. "So do I. However, you can not" he stressed, "cannot hold what I said at 21 against me." he announced. I ruminated on that thought for a moment, "Ok, but this is your last chance." "Love, do you take me for a fool? I would never let this opportunity go. I'll never repeat the mistakes of my past, I promise" he said while holding both my hands in his. I leaned in and pecked his cheek. "I'll stay back in Monaco for a couple more days. This is your chance to convince me why I should date you?" I stated. "You'll know that you want me in a couple of hours." he grinned. "Don't get too cocky Mr Hamilton" I smirked. He just leaned in with his breath fanning my skin, "Can I kiss you, darling?" he requested. "You gotta earn it, Hamilton" I teased. "I've waited for so long for this" he mumbled. "Then you can wait a little longer" I giggled. I felt a pair of hands against my waist. "I could've if you weren't this close" he said with our lips almost touching, he intently eyed them. "Maybe one won't hurt" I thought loudly, my resolve breaking. "Thought so" he chuckled, while leaning in to kiss me.

I might do a part 2, but like if you guys want one. I know where I want to go with this, if i write another part. If you like this lemme know, it'll encourage me to write the next part then thank you for reading!! Hope you liked it!!

[slyrodriguez21bybentopeii]

The search for a better copy of The Child Manuela by Christa Winsloe continues! This is the only paperback copy of the English translation of the novel (which started out as a play under a different title) thus far with Romy Schneider as the titular Manuela and Lilli Palmer as Fraulein von Bernburg on the cover, taken from the 1958 remake of Mädchen in Uniform in 1931. Mädchen in Uniform (1931) starred Hertha Thiele as Manuela and Dorothea Wieck as EVB. It was released shortly before the Third Reich and thankfully (from what I've read) survived its many artistic and cultural purges because of how well it was received both in and outside of Germany. P.S. I'm hoping that there will be a restored version of the 1958 Mädchen in Uniform remake someday. So until then, we wait. #TheChildManuela x #MädcheninUniform (1958) - #ChristaWinsloe https://www.instagram.com/p/ClJeOD8vhQJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[briamichellewrites]

61

briamichelle: Day 2 – Lisbon, Portugal

Bria was not someone who complained. It didn’t matter if she was hungry, tired, or bored. She went along with what the boys were doing and she kept a positive attitude. They had to do interviews. She sat back listening while on her phone. That didn’t bother them because interviews could be quite lengthy and boring. They mostly answered questions about their new album. She wasn’t being distracting, so they let her be. The previous night, she had gone to bed early because she was exhausted.

Rob and Mike came in expecting to find her asleep. Instead, she was on her phone. They questioned her about what she was doing. She couldn’t sleep after getting ready for bed. They both got ready for bed themselves, taking turns in the bathroom.

When Rob came out in his pajamas, she was curled up in a ball underneath the covers. They laughed quietly because she was fast asleep. Just like a child who was insisting they weren’t tired. Could she be any more adorable? Every second Rob spent with her, he found more things to love. It had been a long day and it was going to be another long day tomorrow. Since she was asleep, he found the book he was reading after saying good night to Mike.

The band also learned she was not sociable until she had something to eat. She could answer basic yes and no questions, but she couldn’t handle a conversation. Phoenix joked that she was a teenager. That meant they usually didn’t get up until noon at the earliest. Brad reminded him that would be his girls before he knew it. Yeah, he wasn’t ready to have teenagers yet.

When she came back out, she was more cheerful. She had on a tank top, cargo pants that had elastic at the bottom, and a matching zip-up hoodie. Across her body was a handbag that cost thousands of dollars. Mike asked her about it. She chose it because it didn’t have a logo on it and it went across her body, even though it was expensive. It was the only handbag she had that didn’t have any logos on it. Rob had to approve it before she could pack it in her suitcase.

That was hours ago. Was she bored? Yes. That was why she was happy to have her phone with her. Before going on stage, they were fitted with microphones. A woman was hiding. She translated the questions and answers back and forth between English and Portuguese. It made things a lot easier since they were not fluent in Portuguese.

Sí, llegamos ayer. Estaba tan cansado que olvidé enviarte un mensaje. Lo siento. No recuerdo qué día estaremos en casa. Te prometo que te lo haré saber. – Bria

Thank you. Manuela appreciated that. She had wanted to know that she got to wherever she was going safely. It completely slipped her mind to text her when they got to the hotel because she was so tired. It took a follow-up text that made her remember. Yes, they got in the day before. She couldn’t remember when they were back home, but she promised to let her know.

Manuela looked after her like she was her daughter. That meant wanting to make sure she was okay and safe. After the interview was finished, they went to their next destination. It was around two in the afternoon, so they were hungry. When they got to the venue, they had lunch while the crew set everything up. Their tour rider made sure it included a vegan menu for Rob and Brad. It had never been an issue before.

They had a variety of catered food and drinks. While they ate, Joe asked her what she was doing during the interview. She did some shopping on Saks, though she didn’t buy anything; texted her housekeeper, Manuela; and scrolled through her Instagram. Was she paying attention? Not really. He and Rob laughed. She tuned in and out.

“It was kind of like you’re a little kid and your parents are talking to somebody you don’t know.”

“So, you were bored”, Rob joked.

“One-quarter interested.”

They laughed. They would not be offended if she had been bored. She adjusted the ponytail holders on her braids to make them tighter. During breakfast, their stuff was loaded onto a van, so they could immediately go to the airport after the show for a red-eye flight to St. Petersburg, Russia. Brad would highly recommend they slept during the twelve-and-a-half-hour flight.

Big Bad Bradford Delson was in charge. He kept everyone moving and he prevented them from being late, while also making sure they all got enough sleep. Mike was second in command. He kept Chester, Phoenix, Joe, and Rob in line. Phoenix was a positive energy.

He encouraged them when they needed it. Joe, Rob, and Chester were the Three Musketeers who did whatever Brad, Phoenix, and Mike told them to do. It was a very coordinated effort. Everyone played their roles and it worked out perfectly. Bria’s role was to be their piece of home. She was also their positive attitude and no-nonsense.

They would need her in November when they went to Paris because she was fluent in French. What other languages did she know? She could speak Chinese and Spanish.

“I thought you also spoke another language”, Phoenix said.

“I know very basic Arabic but not enough to have a conversation.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, now I remember. Arabic is a hard language to learn.”

“It’s one of the most difficult to learn. You have to be exposed to the language from birth and then grow up with it to be fluent. Or, you spend years studying it with a professional.”

“How hard is Chinese and Spanish?”

“Spanish is easier than Chinese because it’s similar to French. Chinese is character-based, like Korean and Japanese. Every character has different meanings and pronunciations. I guess Arabic is also character-based. Chinese have distinct characters, whereas Arabic has similar characters. ahlaan. asmi brya lafin.”

“What was that?”

“‘Hi. My name is Bria Lavigne’ in Arabic. That’s all I remember.”

What was it in French? Salut. Je m'appelle Bria Lavigne. Lavigne was already French, so it worked out perfectly with the translation. Was she related to Avril Lavigne? She had no idea but it would be cool if they were. Maybe she had French-Canadian relatives she didn’t know about. She would have to do a DNA ancestry test when they got home.

After they were done eating, they got ready for their sound check with a select group of fans. Brad asked her if she had her phone ready to take pictures. Always. She would have to charge her phone on the plane before she fell asleep, so the battery didn’t die. That was a good idea. As they walked backstage, she and Rob had their arms around each other. Mike got his phone out and took a picture as he walked behind them. He would send it to them later.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[sharyrazade]

Other people are way, WAY better at this than me, but-

To anyone who writes future fic involving two characters having (biological) children, how exactly do you come up with the names for said original child characters? Is it completely at random or theme-based?

I told you, I’m not good at this, so it’s usually the latter for me. A good example of this is my writing about Fire Emblem: Three Houses, a story with more than a few possible intercultural relationships/marriages.

Every now and again, I get a freebie like with Rhealeth. Who exactly is Rhea in Greek mythology? Exactly. I write their (eldest) daughter being named Hestia, since they’re literally the mother and father of the Olympians. It also works into my preference for writing M!Byleth and his fear of harming his children bordering on obsession because war and Cronus. Unfortunately for the old Witcher and Leonie for that matter, this would translate into young Byleth’s first instinct with his first training blade put in his hands being to hit Jeralt in the crotch.

Some are still easier than others: Like how I wrote Annette and Felix’s sons as named Glenn and Dimitri. Or Lorenz and Marianne’s children having German given names after their father. And since Seteth is kind of...a special case and Manuela (Spanish) is pretty obvious, so that one was a no-brainer too.

Others are kind of me being “clever,” like how I wrote Bernadetta’s (North Italian/Veronese) eldest son as being named Marius, so it doesn’t really matter that her man is a Dane with a mane of flowing red hair. With that in mind, it’s almost as much of a freebie as Edelgard’s son being named Rhaego!

The rest I have no fucking clue about honestly. Even the ones like Sylvain (Occitan or something?) and Ingrid (Norman maybe?) who you’d expect not to have an insurmountable cultural gap between them or those with a lot of historical contact between the IRL cultures like Petra (Scottish/Hebridian) and Ashe (French) or Hilda (Bavarian/south German) and Caspar (proto-Hungarian?). The one possible exception to these above examples I’d considered was Cyril and Lysithea- she’s a Greek mythological reference, so that can go any number of ways too. I’d considered them having a son named Cyrus, since Almyra is literally Persia/ancient Iran, but I honestly thought it would be kind of lazy on my part. It would flow one hell of a lot better in-universe than Xerxes would, that’s for sure.

Other times and other series are easier sometimes: I do seem to have a thing for eccentric-to-slightly-developmentally-disabled swordsmen naming their daughters for their late mothers.

[gascon-en-exil]

Do I even want to know about the Dorothea being a sex worker (and its offensive to imply that) thing? Doesnt Yuri say in their support he was used as a "replacement" for people that wanted Dorothea but couldn't afford her? Its far from subtle.

He does, and it's surprisingly unsubtle.

There's the argument to be made that FE dancers have generally been analogues to prostitutes or camp followers, with the exceptions (like the Tellius herons and - probably - Ninian and Nils) standing out precisely because they don't fit that mold, but then Three Houses adds to that by affiliating its canon dancer with the theatre. In the early modern Europe that FE loosely approximates when it's not going for pseudo-medieval, theatre performers were popularly associated with sex work with a lot of overlap between the two professions. Dorothea, Yuri, and Manuela making their allusions to wealthy patrons is firmly in line with this, and it seems like most of the people in my corner of the fandom caught onto that implication.

It does not however appear to sit very well elsewhere, either because some people think that just pointing this out is slutshaming Dorothea and the others but no one cares when you say it about those two or, going by one time when I specifically was criticized on the anon meme for this, because the (vague) timeline of events here means that Dorothea would have been not just a prostitute but a child prostitute. While that's absolutely in FE's wheelhouse - look into how old Silvia in FE4 might be, and how the game handles her, for an example of that - for a fandom that every so often chooses to wring its hands over child soldiers that's apparently a step too far.

It is all a bit absurd, especially to try to come after me for it. Obviously I don't expect the entire fandom to know my whole history, but I'm not shy about talking about my years in the demimonde, entertaining rich but otherwise unappealing older men in pretty much the same way that Dorothea and the rest talk about. I've never worked in the theatre, but I fully understand how the skillsets involved in singing, dancing, and acting can translate readily to sex work. I should think that a site that once referred to me as "the gay French hooker" ought to know better than to think I'm criticizing those characters for having engaged in sex work - that in fact I think it makes them all more interesting and relatable.

(That FE16's dancer class is then awarded by means of a school contest - and is for the first time in the mainline games open to men as well, with all sexual implications essentially removed - only adds to the confusion, but broad class availability does tend to cause problems like that.)

[dorothea-wieck]

The Child Manuela & Das Mädchen Manuela by Christa Winsloe: Mädchen in Uniform book version

The Child Manuela: new correct English translation READ

 original Das Mädchen Manuela https://www.projekt-gutenberg .org/winsloe/uniform/uniform.html (Delete space.)

Official 1930's translation (not worth to check out, but posting of whole correct version will have been finished later than Autumn, 2023.)

https://drive.google. com/file/d/1B0qiL4KNUktEV_akaxqjGorUEydqFI_w/view?usp=sharing (delete space to access; otherwise Tumblr will make money from the redirect.)

Note: the file was found via Google as a free share, so it's not my version.

Translation is sentence-by-sentence, but not exactly the same ("higher" level of langusge in a lot of cases, words unnecessarily deleted/added, censorship, past instead of present where it is used.)

[weirdletter]

The Big Book of Modern Fantasy: The Ultimate Collection, edited by Ann Vandermeer and Jeff VanderMeer, Vintage Books, 2020. Cover art by Leonora Carrington, info: penguinrandomhouse.com.

From Ann and Jeff VanderMeer comes The Big Book of Modern Fantasy: a true horde of tales sure to delight fans, scholars — even the greediest of dragons. A Vintage original. Step through a shimmering portal... a worn wardrobe door... a schism in sky... into a bold new age of fantasy. When worlds beyond worlds became a genre unto itself. From the swinging sixties to the strange, strange seventies, the over-the-top eighties to the gnarly nineties–and beyond, into the twenty-first century–the VanderMeers have found the stories and the writers from around the world that reinvented and revitalized the fantasy genre after World War II. The stories in this collection represent twenty-two different countries, including Russia, Argentina, Nigeria, Columbia, Pakistan, Turkey, Finland, Sweden, China, the Philippines, and the Czech Republic. Five have never before been translated into English. From Jorge Luis Borges to Ursula K. Le Guin, Michael Moorcock to Angela Carter, Terry Pratchett to Stephen King, the full range and glory of the fantastic are on display in these ninety-one stories in which dragons soar, giants stomp, and human children should still think twice about venturing alone into the dark forest. Completing Ann and Jeff VanderMeer’s definitive The Big Book of Classic Fantasy, this companion volume to takes the genre into the twenty-first century with ninety-one astonishing, mind-bending stories.

Contents: INTRODUCTION – Ann and Jeff VanderMeer TEN ROUNDS WITH GRANDFATHER CLOCK – Maurice Richardson THE CIRCULAR VALLEY – Paul Bowles SIGNS AND SYMBOLS – Vladimir Nabokov THE ZAHIR – Jorge Luis Borges LIANE THE WAYFARER – Jack Vance POOLWANA’S ORCHID – Edgar Mittelholzer THE MAN WHO SOLD ROPE TO THE GNOLES – Margaret St. Clair O UGLY BIRD! – Manly Wade Wellman THE GOPHERWOOD BOX – Abraham Sutzkever MY LIFE IN THE BUSH OF GHOSTS (EXCERPT) – Amos Tutuola A VERY OLD MAN WITH ENORMOUS WINGS – Gabriel García Márquez THE ANYTHING BOX – Zenna Henderson LEAN TIMES IN LANKHMAR – Fritz Leiber THE DREAMING CITY – Michael Moorcock CRONOPIOS AND FAMAS – Julio Cortázar KAYA-KALP (METAMORPHOSIS) – Intizar Husain THE LAST DRAGON IN THE WORLD – Tove Jansson THE DROWNED GIANT – J.G. Ballard THE MONSTER – Satu Waltari NARROW VALLEY – R.A. Lafferty THE SINISTER APARTMENT – Mikhail Bulgakov THE ORIGIN OF THE BIRDS – Italo Calvino THE PREY – Bilge Karasu THE TOPLESS TOWER – Silvina Ocampo THE BARBARIAN – Joanna Russ THE YOUNGEST DOLL – Rosario Ferré THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY FROM OMELAS – Ursula K. Le Guin ARK OF BONES – Henry Dumas WINGED CREATURES – Sylvia Townsend Warner LINNAEUS FORGETS – Fred Chappell THE ERL-KING – Angela Carter THE GREAT NIGHT OF THE TRAINS – Sara Gallardo THE TALE OF DRAGONS AND DREAMERS – Samuel R. Delany THE WHITE HORSE CHILD – Greg Bear THE DREAMSTONE – C.J. Cherryh FIVE LETTERS FROM AN EASTERN EMPIRE – Alasdair Gray THE ICE DRAGON – George R.R. Martin ONE TIME – Leslie Marmon Silko SISTER LIGHT, SISTER DARK – Jane Yolen THE LUCK IN THE HEAD – M. John Harrison WARLOCK AT THE WHEEL – Diana Wynne Jones MRS. TODD’S SHORTCUT – Stephen King ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE STATION WHERE THE TRAIN NEVER STOPS – Pat Murphy AFTER THE HURRICANE – Edgardo Sanabria Santaliz THE GIRL WHO WENT TO THE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD – Rachel Pollack THE BYSTANDER – Leena Krohn WILD BOYS: VARIATIONS ON A THEME – Karen Joy Fowler THE MOLE KING – Marie Hermanson WHAT THE TAPSTER SAW – Ben Okri THE FOOL – David Drake THE FLYING CREATURES OF FRA ANGELICO – Antonio Tabucchi A MEXICAN FAIRY TALE – Leonora Carrington THE BOY IN THE TREE – Elizabeth Hand TV PEOPLE – Haruki Murakami ALICE IN PRAGUE OR THE CURIOUS ROOM – Angela Carter MOON SONGS – Carol Emshwiller THE LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF SHED NUMBER XII – Victor Pelevin THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE DRAGON – Patricia McKillip TROLL BRIDGE – Terry Pratchett LONGING FOR BLOOD – Vilma Kadlečková A BRIEF VISIT TO BONNYVILLE – D.F. Lewis TRAVELS WITH THE SNOW QUEEN – Kelly Link THE NEUROSIS OF CONTAINMENT – Rikki Ducornet THE DARKTREE WHEEL – Rhys Hughes FŒTUS – Shelley Jackson TAN-TAN AND DRY BONE – Nalo Hopkinson WHERE DOES THE TOWN GO AT NIGHT? – Tanith Lee POP ART – Joe Hill STATE SECRETS OF APHASIA – Stepan Chapman THE WINDOW – Tatyana Tolstaya THE WEIGHT OF WORDS – Jeffrey Ford ALL THE WATER IN THE WORLD – Han Song THE KITE OF STARS – Dean Francis Alfar MOGO – Alberto Chimal THE MALADY OF GHOSTLY CITIES – Nathan Ballingrud END OF THE LINE – Aimee Bender I LEFT MY HEART IN SKAFTAFELL – Victor LaValle THE GRASSDREAMING TREE – Sheree Renée Thomas LA PEAU VERTE – Caitlín R. Kiernan A HARD TRUTH ABOUT WASTE MANAGEMENT – Sumanth Prabhaker BUFO REX – Erik Amundsen THE ARREST OF THE GREAT MIMILLE – Manuela Draeger AUNTS – Karin Tidbeck FOR LIFE – Marta Kisiel THE SPRING OF DONGKE TEMPLE – Qitongren THE WORDEATERS – Rochita Loenen-Ruiz CREATURE – Ramsey Shehadeh BEYOND THE SEA GATE OF THE SCHOLAR-PIRATES OF SARSKÖE – Garth Nix THE BEAR DRESSER’S SECRET – Richard Bowes TABLE WITH OCEAN – Alberto Chimal THE JINN DARAZGOSH – Musharraf Ali Farooqi Acknowledgments Permissions About the Translators About the Editors

[loyalflutist]

Night Crawling (F!Byleth x Edelgard)

Rating: General Audience Archive Warning: N/A Words: 1,481 Summary:  When Edelgard is plagued with nightmares, it's up to Byleth to calm her down. However, it seems like she needs to work on her social skills... or does she?

A/N: Based off on a fan art idea and the C Rank Support between Byleth and Edelgard from the JPN translations. Also, a belated birthday fiction for @rarzrin ! So Happy Belated Birthday, buddy! 

-----

“Uh… Agh… Fath… Save…”

“?!”

Exposed, thin hairs on her arms prickled upward, goosebumps having formed. It appears that a professor’s nightly patrol on all dormitory grounds was interrupted by a feminine outcry. Had it not been for Sothis, who hovered nearby, she would have lost her composure and fallen face-first on the stone flooring. Byleth rested a hand over her chest, a bit shaken. This still time of day and dense atmosphere amplified the distinct abnormality. How spooky!

“Who said that?”

Faint tremors wiggled its way into the older female’s whisper. From nearby, Sothis cupped her chin and tilted her head. She faintly hummed under her breath.

“A ghost, perhaps? No, that is surely not the case…”

She paused. When the green-haired glanced over at Byleth, she resisted the temptation to smack herself on the forehead. Though the ex-mercenary is well-known for her blank features, she is not immune to other forms of expressions… and those reactions mostly leaned towards a negative connotation. Sothis sharply exhaled and furrowed her brows.

“What is that look upon your face? I am no ghost, if that is what was on your mind!”

Byleth straightened her lips and, almost robotically, turned away from the floating female. This caused Sothis to fly in front of the teacher. She crossed her arms and shoved her face at the warrior. A red anger mark pulsated on the side of her head. As for the other woman, she simply stared at Sothis. Byleth blinked. There was no reaction— Wait a minute… Was that a smirk? Upon closer inspection… Yes! That is a smirk on her face! Subtle, but it’s there! Sothis tightened her grip on her arms.

“How dare you still think of me like one!”

Steam blew out of the short female’s ears as she lightly bumped their foreheads together. It’s time she teaches this child a lesson about respecting their elders! Before Sothis could give Byleth a piece of her mind, another round of agonized groaning intensified the tense air once more. That instantly cracked the tension that upheld the air; their attention diverted back to the source.

“No… Agh…”

It seems that the voice was projected from a bedroom next to them.

And it was a voice Byleth and Sothis knew so well.

They temporarily agreed to a truce to their productive discussion. Byleth reached over to the room’s door. She slowly pushed it open. At first, she was hit with a faint aroma resembling that of a carnation. Unlike Dorothea’s room, in which the numerous strong perfumes would slug just about anybody in the face, Edelgard’s bedroom gently eased the olfactory organs into a pleasant adaptation. Byleth exhaled.

From the wall, there lies the casual noble. Sweat was evident as she tossed and turned in her sleep; the blanket tangled themselves with her legs. The moment Byleth took a step inside of the private quarter, her eyes snapped open.

“Huh?! Who’s there?!”

She quickly sat up on the mattress with wide eyes, her hands scrambling on the soft surface; fingers frantically pat and grabbed the air as if she were searching for a weapon. Her breaths were quick. Dizziness clouded her logic skills as raw instincts took over her motor skills.

Edelgard was hyperventilating.

Dread clouded over the older female. Byleth immediately rushed to her side. She plopped her bottom on the furniture. Without thinking twice, the professor took one of the scarred hands and enveloped it within her own. Not a single peep came from the teal-haired as she gently squeezed Edelgard’s hand. Had she not kept an iron grip, the rising emperor would have torn away! Thankfully, the feeble tugs eventually came to a stop once her respiration rate dipped to normality. From beginning to end, Byleth dared not let go of the noble.

Fatigue settled into the house leader’s muscles and mental state. Head lowered, Edelgard slowly exhaled.

“Professor… What are you doing here?”

Direct and straight to the point. The tonality and strength in her delivery could fool most everyone about her state. Alas, the instructor could not be fooled by it. She had seen it all. A nightmare that had cursed the poor student bears itself before the teacher!

Byleth’s thumbs mindlessly rubbed on the rough skin, her hues still glued on the recovering girl. She had to be careful with her words. Although she is no therapist nor socially adept with people outside of Jeralt’s mercenary group and Sothis, the woman knew she had to tread cautiously with Edelgard currently. One wrong sentence, one wrong statement, one wrong word, and she would shatter the student. Even worse, she would obliterate the frail relationship built upon the day they first met. Byleth gulped. Time wasn’t going to patiently wait for her answer. She had to respond to her student now.

“Night crawling.”

“?!”

Edelgard raised her head faster than one could say “what.” She stared long and hard at her professor, her cheeks flaring up. The nightmare that she had been plagued with were immediately squashed by those two words.

That was quite the jest! Not even Dorothea or Sylvain could think of that on the spot! Was it because Byleth was an older woman? No… That cannot be it. Byleth was known to say ridiculous remark and tease her students. Is this one of them? Regardless, an additional layer of shock landed itself on top of the noble’s red face as she fumbled with her words.

“W-What are you— I don’t even— Do you even understand what you just said, Professor?!”

Byleth, still holding onto the 18-year-old’s hand, nodded.

“Yes.”

“Please do not joke like that, Professor!”

There was a mischievous glint in the teacher’s eye.

“It wasn’t a joke though.”

“&%$%#@!”

Incoherent language sputtered out of Edelgard’s lips as her body’s temperature increased by tenfold. This is getting dangerous! If Byleth truly wished for this, isn’t this going too soon?! They aren’t even dating yet! Wait— Why is she going after Edelgard anyway? Couldn’t she have done so with Manuela or Shamir? No… That wouldn’t be right, Edelgard would prefer she NOT do that to anyone other than to Edelgard alone— NO! The noble mentally flailed her arms at the corrupted thoughts. (Young adults always seem to have wild fantasies, don’t they?)

As Edelgard desperately shooed those naughty idealisms and settle the emotional conflict she has about her professor, Sothis leisurely floated by Byleth. She side-eyed the teacher with firm lips.

“So, you’ve stooped down to that level, huh.”

“…”

Sothis glanced over at the Black Eagle’s leader and shook her head. A small sigh left her lips as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“You are an interesting person… I would never imagine you to say such things. However, you did clear the heavy atmosphere, so I shall commend you for that.”

Heartbeat.

The green-haired flickered her gaze to Byleth. A powerful throb rammed into both of their figures. Divine Pulse. Byleth was going to use it. Before they knew it…

“Professor… What are you doing here?”

They were back to where Edelgard had recently calmed down from her hyperventilation. Patches of wetness stained the young girl’s red loungewear, Byleth’s hands protectively holding onto the student’s… It was all the same. Sothis crossed her arms and hovered next to her host.

“Are you going to retract your response from earlier? I suggest you do not make a jest like that anymore if you do so—”

“Night crawling.”

“…HUH?”

“?!”

Sothis and Edelgard’s reactions overlapped with one another. Their hues widen and pathetically pierced the unbreakable fortress that the sly professor had put up.

“Are you serious?!” the tiny female hollered as Edelgard began to stammer with the same sentence. “Why did you say the same answer again?!”

Her words were ignored! The entire conversation ran exactly as it had before! It was as if the two were following a script! And... And there is it again! That mischievous glint in the teacher’s eye! Now it would only be a matter of time until…

“&%$%#@!”

Yep, there’s the noble overheating to the point steam wafted from the top of her head. Sothis loudly exhaled as she audibly smacked the back of her hand against Byleth’s cheek.

“Oi, what was the purpose of using the Divine Pulse earlier?”

Heartbeat.

There was that throb again. The floating woman narrowed her eyes as she saw the event transpire all the way back to…

“Professor… What are you doing here?”

“THIS AGAIN?!”

Unlike earlier, in which Byleth completely ignored her existence, she finally mumbled,

“Edelgard is cute when she’s embarrassed.”

A loud smack echoed in the room. Sothis had just slapped her own forehead with great ferocity, it would be no surprise if a red mark was left on it! Frankly, if there was something she was grateful for, it was the fact that the Divine Pulse can only be used a certain number of times.

[esqreverblog]

A cut above: António Variações, Portugal's queer pop superstar

In 1984, national grief at Variações’s gruelling death was overpowered by scrutiny of Aids, which was still relatively mysterious. According to Couto Pinto: “It was hard to keep him alive when listeners buried him in stigma and only talked about him regarding the disease, as though the reason for his death was more important than the artist and the work he left behind.”His reappraisal began in 2004, when the supergroup Humanos was assembled to record his remaining demo tapes. The result was a multi-platinum album. Rarefied support followed through homages on TV talent shows and tributes from other artists, and in 2019, Variações dominated the public consciousness once again. His biopic, an art house Rocketman, garnered mixed reviews but became one of the highest-grossing Portuguese films of all time. Its lead actor went on a national tour with a Variações cover band.According to Cascais, this “appropriation as a cultural icon” comes at a cost of downplaying Variações’s sexuality and smoothing over the polarised response to him in his heyday and after his death. “In life, he was loved by some and disregarded by others”, says Couto Pinto. “Most important of all is he never generated indifference.”A hedonist loved by the people, a humble man behind a commanding posture, Variações injected colour into 1980s Portugal. “I feel like I was born before my time”, he said in 1983; one year later, he lamented “having to die”, dreading “the depressive ending”.It’s a good thing, then, that his verses continue to echo throughout his native country. From bathrooms in Lisbon to the greenery of Minho, the existential nomadism of Estou Além prevails as an anthem: “Because I only want whom I have never seen … Because I only want to go where I do not go.” António Variações is still going, still finding people he has never seen.n the midst of wild olive trees, a muscular man sporting pink hair and a woman’s swimming costume stares into a mirror. There, at the meeting point of pastoral and queer, is António Variações: Portugal’s first gay icon, who shook the country from its post-revolution torpor after fascism’s 41-year reign. A country boy, hairdresser and pop star, Variações silenced homophobia with free expression – and has been reborn as an icon 35 years after his death

‘I adore the sound of scissors, but nothing comes close to a guitar or a violin’ ... António Variações. Photograph: Teresa Couto Pinto

In the midst of wild olive trees, a muscular man sporting pink hair and a woman’s swimming costume stares into a mirror. There, at the meeting point of pastoral and queer, is António Variações: Portugal’s first gay icon, who shook the country from its post-revolution torpor after fascism’s 41-year reign.

These radical photographs provided the artwork for Variações’s final album, Dar & Receber (To Give & to Receive), released in May 1984. He would die the next month, on the feast day of Lisbon’s most beloved saint, António, marking what was widely believed to be the country’s first public Aids-related death. A gay man who had defined the zeitgeist, Variações was now the poster child for a taboo that threatened to consume his legacy. At his funeral the coffin was sealed because of safety concerns, and his remaining clothes were burnt.

Yet Variações’s spirit has survived, and become synonymous with Pride month celebrations each June in Portugal. Last year’s culminated with an António Variações sing-along; then in August, a long-awaited biopic, Variações, became the country’s highest-grossing film of the year. Thirty-five years after his death, he has regained his place in Portuguese culture. Variações had always sworn he would go down in history – “even if only the history of a bathroom wall”.

The quote dates back to 1983, when Variações was on the brink of his watershed moment. That moment was was 27 years in the making, starting when he left the province of Minho, aged 11, for Lisbon. Variações never lost connection with his rural home but even as a child, he knew it couldn’t nurture his ambition: to hone the melodies that flowed through his head into life-affirming music.

Born in 1944, he lived through the repressive Estado Novo regime for three decades. He worked in menial jobs, served in the Portuguese military and at one point moved to London. But it was his time in Amsterdam, in the mid-70s, that created Variações the icon, as the historian Manuela Gonzaga writes in her biography António Variações: Entre Braga e Nova Iorque. Life in the Dutch city afforded Variações a political and sexual freedom that was still embryonic in Portugal after the peaceful coup of 1974. The gay clubs and darkrooms in which he revelled were anathema in a nation where would take until 1982 for homosexual activity to be legalised.

When Variações returned to Portugal in 1976, he became a face of the progressive Príncipe Real neighbourhood, and later of Bairro Alto, where a dormant culture began to erupt. A new generation of musicians, journalists, architects and others met up in drag venues and alternative bars. “The arts were emerging after a ruthless censorship that had kept creatives clandestine,” his ex-manager and close friend Teresa Couto Pinto explains. “It sparked inside us a need to confront established values.”

Although Variações set up camp as a barber, music remained his ambition: “I adore the sound of scissors but nothing comes close to a guitar or a violin,” he said. At home, he eschewed strings for handclaps and a portable drum machine, recording demo tapes that earned him a record deal with Portugal’s top rock label, Valentim de Carvalho.

He introduced a fashion sense that was alien to Lisbon. Gonzaga describes it as a “gratuitous, fascinating display”: below his two-toned beard, he could wed tight trousers to bedroom slippers as easily as he mixed leather straps with knitted sweaters. Couto Pinto says she helped him wrap poultry netting around his torso, and sewed door locks and hinges to his arms and legs. “I have never dressed to provoke anyone”, he said, describing his camp style as “an act of freedom towards myself, out of pleasure”.

Variações was “at the dawn of a [gay] collective consciousness in Portugal,” says the queer studies academic António Fernando Cascais, “because he pioneered a counter-image of his own”. Any homophobic remarks – even though Variações never came out publicly – were forgotten as soon as he took the stage.

He made his TV debut in 1981, during the Sunday variety show on Portugal’s sole broadcaster. He sang a punk metaphor about pills while a dancer dressed as a giant aspirin threw Smarties at the dumbfounded audience. Nothing so transgressive had ever graced Portugal’s airwaves. Opposing the country’s deep-seated conservatism, “the audience adhered immediately, with no reservations”, to the surprise of the illustrious host Júlio Isidro, as he told a journalist. His “meteoric stardom”, Gonzaga says, pushed his label to take him off the backburner.

Variações overcame his lack of musicianship amid members of the rock elite, who helped him translate his inner world of sounds, fusing the pop vanguard and the traditional melodies of his childhood. His 1983 bestselling debut LP, Anjo da Guarda (Guardian Angel), set his fado inflections – a homage to the singer Amália Rodrigues, his idol and later his friend – to a new-wave backdrop, while the follow-up album Dar & Receber balanced disco-rock with melancholy synthpop.

His pen reconciled popular wisdom and queer identity. His songs O Corpo É Que Paga (The Body Pays the Price) and É P’ra Amanhã (Leave It ’Til Tomorrow), both pages in the great Portuguese songbook, reinvented proverbs to tell life lessons. Variações also made queer alienation feel universal: today you might hear supermarket shoppers humming along to the proto-Robyn desperation of Canção de Engate (Hookup Song), despite its bleak depiction of gay cruising (“You are alone and I am even more so”).

In 1984, national grief at Variações’s gruelling death was overpowered by scrutiny of Aids, which was still relatively mysterious. According to Couto Pinto: “It was hard to keep him alive when listeners buried him in stigma and only talked about him regarding the disease, as though the reason for his death was more important than the artist and the work he left behind.”

His reappraisal began in 2004, when the supergroup Humanos was assembled to record his remaining demo tapes. The result was a multi-platinum album. Rarefied support followed through homages on TV talent shows and tributes from other artists, and in 2019, Variações dominated the public consciousness once again. His biopic, an art house Rocketman, garnered mixed reviews but became one of the highest-grossing Portuguese films of all time. Its lead actor went on a national tour with a Variações cover band.

According to Cascais, this “appropriation as a cultural icon” comes at a cost of downplaying Variações’s sexuality and smoothing over the polarised response to him in his heyday and after his death. “In life, he was loved by some and disregarded by others”, says Couto Pinto. “Most important of all is he never generated indifference.”

A hedonist loved by the people, a humble man behind a commanding posture, Variações injected colour into 1980s Portugal. “I feel like I was born before my time”, he said in 1983; one year later, he lamented “having to die”, dreading “the depressive ending”.

It’s a good thing, then, that his verses continue to echo throughout his native country. From bathrooms in Lisbon to the greenery of Minho, the existential nomadism of Estou Além prevails as an anthem: “Because I only want whom I have never seen … Because I only want to go where I do not go.” António Variações is still going, still finding people he has never seen.

Source: [X]

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG151 /o/

- And Peter’s “friend” was, in the end, Simon Fairchild:

(MAG144) PETER: I’m absolutely delighted with your progress, and I feel you’ve earned some straight answers. MARTIN: But not from you. PETER: Oh, no. That sort of conversation makes me very uncomfortable. No, I’m owed a favour by a friend of mine. I’ve asked him to stop by, when he’s back in the country.

(MAG151) SIMON: Peter asked me to look in on you and… have a small chat. Well! A big chat, really. Answer all those… nagging questions. […] I lost a bet, and this is how the good captain chooses to use that. The second is… sort of?

Simon himself pointed out the compatibility between The Lonely and The Vast, but the Lukases had also collaborated with the Fairchilds on the Daedalus project (together with the Church of the Divine Host, although they were mostly invited into that project by Rayner to cough up the funding, according to Manuela). And Peter was indeed “owed a favour” because said friend had lost another bet. (So, amongst the gambling club, we got Salesa > Peter > Simon, so far. … Given how Peter had apparently betted on MAG066’s statement-giver’s death with Salesa, I’m… not sure I want to know what Simon and Peter had betted about, for Peter to win.)

Jon had kinda jinxed us that we would meet Simon this season, but Jon also avoided the Worst Of It:

(MAG124) ARCHIVIST: Simon Fairchild is one of the… recurrent figures that I think disquiets me the most. Not simply for what he does, the endless spaces of highs or depths to which he’s so quick to condemn his victims, but… the joy he seems to take in doing so. And I don’t think there is much to this tale beyond that: an evil man tormenting and killing simply for his own pleasure, and to feed the power that sustains him. […] I do not think I ever wish to meet him.

Congrats, Jon, you managed to not meet him although he came to the Institute! /o/ Staying holed up in the Archives has its perks. (… Especially considering how Jon had lost it in front of Breekon, I’m… not sure that he wouldn’t have thrown a fit in front of Simon. I mean. If Martin lost his cool so easily despite knowing how dangerous Simon is, Jon would have been a living nightmare about that guy.)

“Simon Fairchild” had been linked with a few “firsts” in the history of the series. He was one of Jon’s first cases at the Institute; he was in the first Vast statement we heard in the series, which had… been interrupted by Martin himself, as Martin was just returning from Prentiss’s entrapment and would give his statement in the very next episode:

(MAG051) ARCHIVIST: […] One of my first cases as a researcher for the Institute in 2012 was looking into the history of a jeweller in Hackney, that had reported cases becoming cracked in the night. Nothing was ever taken but, each morning it would be like a heavy weight had been dropped upon them. Looking into it, it turned out that the jewels had, in the 1930s, belonged to a con artist and fence, who had attracted the displeasure of the local population. When one particularly irate customer threw him out of a fourth-floor window into a crowded street at midday… no one claimed to have seen anything. A minor possible haunting with a decidedly pedestrian backstory, but notable because while I was never able to discover the original name of the con artist, one of his many, many aliases was Simon Fairchild, and it appeared on several business listings around the time. Whether it’s a coincidence or not is something of a moot point at this stage, however.

(MAG021) ARCHIVIST: […] It might just be a coincidence, but I recall the name “Simon Fairchild” was one of the ones used by– [DOOR OPENS, CHAIR TUMBLES] My god! Martin?! [SOMETHING SQUELCHES] What… What the hell is–? What are these things?! [CLICK.]

MAG124, “Left Hanging”, which featured Simon in the statement, also marked the first time that Jon had tried to interact with Martin since he had awakened from his ~coma~. So: it feels like “Simon” had been around for a while, surrounding important events but always escaping us a bit, before, finally, we met him in (what’s left of) the flesh.

- We had heard the name “Fairchild” since MAG021, and Gerry had mentioned that it wasn’t actually a family (MAG111: “Well, Fairchild’s just a name, they’re not really family.”) but we had heard of them as being… a clan of some sort (MAG089, Jude Perry: “Hangs around with the Fairchilds sometimes.”):

(MAG051) ARCHIVIST: […] A cursory bit of research reveals the Fairchilds in question to be an exceptionally wealthy family, based down in Cornwall. No real business to speak of, but it appears they’ve invested very wisely in aerospace technology, shipping logistics and underwater drilling and construction. Whatever their origin, I feel it’s worth keeping an eye on them.

… and turns out that HAHA:

(MAG151) SIMON: I’ve been “Simon Fairchild” about, um… eighty or ninety years, maybe? For business purposes, mainly – by which I mean I was bored of not being wealthy, so I made some arrangements and sent Mr. Fairchild on a very long fall. I could go into details, but without a certain amount of knowledge of 1930s tax practices, it wouldn’t mean very much to you.

It’s… not even a stolen name, it’s a stolen alias. And they all developed around it / kept Simon’s alias as a sign of respect / just used it for tax fraud and get rich, all along.

- Simon was a BLAST, rambly, jumpy, losing his breath here and there, living his best life of being terrible (only caring about the people he had traumatised/deprived of their closed ones when it came to introduce himself, casually threatening Martin, absolutely chill about the idea that yes, people are suffering and are meant to suffer or to disappear) – I’m especially fond of that moment:

(MAG151) SIMON: And honestly, the idea that this is all some… “grand cosmic joke”, thousands of us running around spreading horror and sabotaging each other pointlessly while these impossible, unknowable things just lurk out there, feeding off the misery we cause… [INHALE] I find that interpretation quite appealing…!

He just spat the whole sentence at full velocity, and we could hear the lack of oxygen towards the end, it was great and fitting for an avatar of The Vast! And he was an utter troll, to the point that Martin actually tried to threaten him?

(MAG151) SIMON: Peter said you’d have a lot of questions about that one. MARTIN: I do. [PAUSE] How are new powers born? SIMON: Hm… don’t know! MARTIN: How soon could it attempt its ritual? SIMON: No clue! MARTIN: How do we stop it? SIMON: Can’t help you! MARTIN: [THROUGH GRITTED TEETH] Could you, at least, try? SIMON: [FRANTIC] … No–no–no–no, you’re right, of course!

… TWICE:

(MAG151) MARTIN: I don’t see your point. SIMON: [INHALE] My point is… [PAUSE] … You know? I’ve quite forgotten! MARTIN: [EXASPERATED SIGH] SIMON: [PANICKED SOUNDS] I’ve just not been doing much recently, it’s not a good time for perspective, you see.

Martin meeting what is for us the oldest avatar around (… at least officially; what is Elias, etc.), even older than Rayner, somehow translated to “Martin on the verge of beating an old man, twice”. S2!Martin was bringing you tea; S4!Martin is done with each and every one of you and has gained so many levels in bossy from having to deal with Peter for excruciating months:

(MAG151) SIMON: [CHUCKLING] And this has been fun! [INHALE] Now. [CHAIR SCRAPING] If we’re about done– MARTIN: We’re not. Sit back down. SIMON: Boooold~ [CHUCKLE] [CHAIR SCRAPING] I like it.

(redusijnferd why did you sound so flirty, you pink skeleton of a man. Get in the queue to get a Power Claim on the boy.)

- We could perfectly feel that Simon was older than your regular avatar (if he worked under Tintoretto, it means he was born in the 16th century) through his way of looking at the Fears, the sheer… chillness? with the prospect of everyone dying/disappearing, but also more personally, in the portrait he was painting of Peter:

(MAG151) SIMON: Yes, well! You have to understand how it is with Peter. He finds talking to people directly very difficult, especially explaining the more, hum… esoteric side of things? MARTIN: Mm. SIMON: Charming chap, I’m sure you’ll agree, absolutely lovely, but… even if you can convince him to actually give you a straight answer, he’s just not that good at actually putting these things into words. Something to do with his upbringing, I think. [CONSPIRATORIALLY] I’m pretty sure he was home-schooled, you know! […] He is what he is, Martin. For a creature of The Lonely, the urge is always to isolate; never to communicate or connect. I suspect that’s why he’s so keen on wagers: it allows him a framework for cooperation that doesn’t risk any sort of intimacy.

… Simon was describing this awkward, kinda sweet guy who is trying his best to save the world but has a few disabilities and tries to manoeuvre around it. Meanwhile: we witnessed live Peter Lukas sending Brian Finlinson to The Lonely in MAG100 apparently Just Because He Could, and he whooshed two researchers who were only ignoring his directives while Jon was still unresponsive, and there is the whole Tundra deal; he also began to ramble in front of Martin about how he would have gone for Gertrude’s throat… I’m glad that Martin didn’t fall for it and was rightfully unimpressed (he also told Basira that Peter was “awful” right after). But it was telling that Simon would present Peter as this uwu sweet child uwu, when… really, absolutely nope.

(About the “home-school” bit: and how many Lukases children are “raised” in Moorland House, right now…?)

Simon was also… absolutely unsurprised by Little Institute Things:

(MAG151) SIMON: Ouuh! Hello? [CHAIR SCRAPING] Hmm~ […] Hm! No wonder I’m so sympathetic to The Lonely. You know: this really is a place for self-discovery, isn’t it? [CHUCKLE] “Statement ends”, I suppose! MARTIN: Uh… I’m sorry? SIMON: Oh! Nothing, just my own hubris. I should have known. When I came here, I said to myself: “Simon,” I said, “you’re going to answer this young man’s questions, but you’re not going to give The Watcher a statement. You’re better than that.” But it’s a hard one to resist, isn’t it? You get in the flow of talking about yourself, and it all just… tumbles out. MARTIN: Mm, does seem like it. SIMON: [CHUCKLING] And this has been fun!

(Oliver had also described Jon’s effect: “Be easier if you could talk back, right? Ask me questions and just have it tumble all out.” (MAG121)) Simon greeted the tape recorder (?), and knew about the “Statement ends” phrasing, and that one is… noteworthy, since it’s Jon’s trademark (later copied by Martin). Gertrude wasn’t using it, she immediately announced her “Final comments” after her readings - how did Simon know about Jon&Martin’s formulaic “Statement ends”? Did Peter describe it to him? (… Or Elias?)

- That episode was indeed a MAG111.2 (30th episode of season 3 / season 4!) – except it wasn’t Jon receiving the information, but Martin, and it was… less about categories and repartitions, more about how the Fears tend to operate in their irregularities. We didn’t even learn a lot about structures or terminology; technically, we… didn’t learn a lot, but mostly got a few confirmations for things that had been there for a while, although not fully assimilated, through an ~exterior~ point of view? The biggest information was probably that not all avatars are as afraid of The Extinction as Peter is:

(MAG151) SIMON: I’ve actually been toying with the idea of trying to do something with the scale of humanity itself; you know, emphasise all that “overpopulation” nonsense, but… honestly, it just… doesn’t ring true for me. We’re all just so tiny and pointless, you see; it’s hard to really get past it. Also, I worry it might be straying into territory that emboldens our potential new rival. MARTIN: … The Extinction. […] You don’t sound worried. SIMON: That’s because we disagree on exactly how bad it will be. Peter seems convinced that The Extinction is different. That its actual birth will be as bad or worse as another power fully manifesting. He believes its advent will be heralded by all sorts of disasters and catastrophes, and global upheavals, and whatnot. That kind of things. MARTIN: Sounds like a rich feeding ground. SIMON: Well, exactly! Peter, however, seems to think that it will upset the balance that we all have an awful lot invested in. And he’s not at all certain the world as we understand will come out the other side. MARTIN: And let me guess – you think he can’t see the “big picture”? […] You don’t think it will be the end of the world? SIMON: Oh! It very well might be, but… MARTIN: [EXPLOSIVE EXHALE] SIMON: Life has continued through dozens of apocalypses already. Ice ages; pandemics; calamities; extinctions… The only reason this one feels special is because, well… it’s happening to you. And that’s the sort of solipsism that tends to come with loneliness – in my experience. So. My feeling is that I’ll help out where I can; but ultimately, if this “Armageddon” comes off, then… so be it. Either billions suffer and life goes on; or billions suffer and life doesn’t. In the grand scheme of things, it’s all… much of a muchness.

(… That depiction of avatars as finance workers basically sharing the cake and eyeing cautiously the newcomer, not because of the positive or negative outcomes it could bring on clients/victims, but because it could steal some parts of their market…)

And it indeed fits: the one who had been doing all these researches about the new emergence is Adelard Dekker who, as far as we know, is human, and had explained in MAG113 how his own biggest fear had once been to die without realising it, such as in his sleep. It might have coloured how he researched and described The Extinction, how devastatingly annihilating he perceived it? And Peter has essentially based his own investigations on Adelard’s research, while Simon… tends to regard it as just another Fear – it’s bad, but then, they’re all bad and relying on people’s suffering (and coloured by his affiliation to The Vast – even if it’s worse than the others and supplants the other Fears, the universe will still be there, with or without humans).

So, at this point, it’s… possible that no, Peter and Martin won’t manage to stop The Extinction from being born, because it has already grown enough? But it doesn’t mean, either, that it would throw off the balance of the Fears game so much. However… it would probably be shattering for Martin, if his sacrificing his life for the Greater Good for almost a full year, not indulging in things he loved anymore (he stopped writing poetry, he turned away from Jon and contributed to his isolation, making him more susceptible to use his Powers thus going further into Beholding/monsterhood and increasing his victims count)… doesn’t lead to an achievement of any sort.

- In season 4’s own flavour: Simon also pursued the idea that nobody and nothing is exactly in control, that there is no Grand Scheme – but mostly things happening, an unidentified and anonymous system going around, in the frame of which avatars&monsters operate (and as Jon had put it in MAG145, run by the idea that “we’re all just… ‘groping about’. Trying desperately to find out what we’re actually meant to be doing.”). The Lightless Flame and The Dark respectively created Agnes and the Dark Sun mostly by believing strongly in their aims; and, overall, rituals are indeed attempts at putting a dream, a feeling into shape, and these translations are faillible on their own (if Jon&co hadn’t gone to The Unknowing, would it have stopped on its own…? Did Tim actually sacrifice himself stopping something that wouldn’t have worked anyway…?). Annabelle claimed to have a limited influence, and to not be aware of any greater plan from The Web. Elias (as much as we can trust what he wants to convey) is limited, erratic, and fallible – admitted that he had “overreacted” when he had killed Leitner, didn’t pay attention to the assistants’ plan to arrest him, claimed that he hadn’t seen that The Dark’s side had been too heavily damaged to even attempt a ritual. Martin got told that Peter in himself wasn’t such a big deal; that his promise to protect the Institute against unknown threats… had been mostly a smokescreen because he really wanted/needed Martin to work with him:

(MAG134) PETER: Martin, this is what we agreed. After The Flesh attacked, you came to me. MARTIN: [SIGH] PETER: And I’ve held up my end of the bargain, despite your continued hesitation. Your friends have been largely untroubled by the many – many – enemies that they have made. MARTIN: What about the delivery guy? Breekon. And the coffin?

(MAG151) MARTIN: How honest has he been with me? SIMON: About which part? MARTIN: Protecting the others. SIMON: I think he tried. I suspect he may have slightly exaggerated his abilities when you first made the deal, but he certainly expended a reasonable amount of influence and resources to follow through. MARTIN: But… [EXPLOSIVE SIGH] But that was never the endgame, was it? He just wanted me on side long enough to rope me into his… his plans for The Extinction. SIMON: Do you really need me to answer that one? […] I think… [INHALE] I think Peter is taking a rather large, but calculated gamble. Not just on you, but on a lot of things. If it works, he’ll be in a very strong position. And if he fails… it won’t be all that bad.

We had indeed never seen Peter actually doing anything regarding that “protection” bit: he found excuses for his inaction when Breekon breached in (Jon had been quicker), and blamed Jon’s decisions to get involved with spooks (back then, the coffin; and Martin had been unaware about the Svalbard trip until Daisy told him). Nothing about the spiders, either. And now: confirmation that Peter was actually useless but wanted to Sound Impressive to get Martin. It doesn’t mean that he can’t be damaging (Elias was absolutely awful on a one-on-one basis) but it paints him in a less threatening/all-controlling light, too.

(- Is Peter annoyed by analogies

(MAG151) SIMON: Alright. Let’s… try one of those analogies Peter finds so annoying.

… because they’re a way to connect and create links between what are essentially different ideas. That sounds like the nerdiest Lonely thing. (You want to kill a Lukas? Talk in *gasp* metaphors.))

- I loved how Martin wasn’t letting it go? Was pressing and cornering to get his answers? And was, at the same time, kinda poetic / very… sensible, in his approach?

(MAG151) MARTIN: It doesn’t scare you? SIMON: Martin. Taken on a cosmic scale, we’ve never even been alive…! Not in any way that might register, I mean, if this… dreadful little planet had a fractionally different orbit, and life had never even started here, then… ultimately, nothing of any real importance would have changed. [SILENCE] MARTIN: [POINTEDLY] I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever. SIMON: … What a Lonely way to look at things. Which makes sense, I suppose. […] MARTIN: And… and how did you get started with it all? Did you, did you, [SARCASTIC CHUCKLE] did you just look up at the sky one day, and fall head over heels in love?

1°) Of course, Martin would (even snarkily) describe the process of getting involved with a Fear as ~falling in love~.

2°) I… don’t have much to say about Simon and Martin’s opposition, but I like them both? I like how they’re both extremely valid, indeed, depending on the scale? (And it kind of resonates with Gertrude’s way of dealing with the Fears: she seemed to favour the “big picture” in her own way, sacrificing people if it means saving the world, multiple times; but every person she decided to sacrifice without their consent, or saw as a casualty to attain her goal… had value, too?)

- Interestingly, Martin still spontaneously identified the Distortion as “Michael” – not “Helen”?

(MAG151) MARTIN: Things like Mi– Hum, th– er, the Distortion. I thought they were part of the Entities themselves, ext– extensions. Surely, they know what’s going on? SIMON: Honestly, I think they have it a lot worse than we do. Imagine being a hand that can conceive of itself, having impulses shot through you, being moved and clenched by some unseen mind – but never knowing the reasoning behind your own actions, or even if you’re just some thoughtless reflex. Eww! Sounds horrid.

It sounds like Martin might have listened to the tape between Leitner and Jon, or that Jon kept them updated on that specific bit?

(MAG080) LEITNER: The books are, I think, their essences in a purer form. The other things that stalk us, from what I know of them, they have varying wills of their own. All in service of the thing they’re a part of, but not directly controlled by the mind beneath them. At least, inasmuch as these entities have something we could recognise as a mind. ARCHIVIST: Like a… a, a muscle, spasming on reflex? LEITNER: Yes, that’s actually rather good. ARCHIVIST: It would explain Michael’s identity issues. LEITNER: “Michael”? Oh… that, that’s what the Distortion calls itself these days, isn’t it?

(So… were Breekon&Hope in that category, too? And ;; it really doesn’t bode well regarding Helen’s looming presence around the Archives…)

- ………… I’m glad that Martin immediately thought about the Daedalus when it was about The Vast’s ritual attempt, and:

(MAG151) SIMON: … Do you know when the last ritual I attempted was? MARTIN: I… I don’t know, that space station? SIMON: Oh goodness no, that’s the future my boy! […] I’ve just not been doing much recently, it’s not a good time for perspective, you see. The world all feels too small, these days. I used to do a lot with religion, but it’s just not got the same conceptual scope that it used to. Honestly, I’m pinning most of my long-term hopes on space – but that’s at least a hundred years away.

Simon having Thoughts about the next one was mildly terrifying and atrociously funny: going “that’s the FUTURE” over your next planned apocalypse is…

- Updated list of rituals that aren’t a cause of concern (anymore):

* The Hunt: “The Everchase”, ongoing for at least the past two centuries, aggregating Hunters in America. Doesn’t have a culmination, revelling in the pursuit. (MAG133)

* The Vast: “The Awful Deep”, in 1853. Didn’t really work, and stopped by a Hunter. Simon Fairchild is banking on space for the next attempt. (MAG151)

* The Slaughter: “The Risen War”, should have happened centred around the Nemesis in late 1942, in the Pacific Ocean. It failed due to not meeting all the requirements – probably had a bomb planned that never came. Gertrude finally got confirmation in October 2014 that she didn’t need to worry about it; she threw out wild guesses that The Lonely or The Web could have been responsible for thwarting it. (MAG137)

* The Desolation: “The Scoured Earth”, relying on Agnes Montague, who was neutralised in the 70s when The Web tied her to Gertrude, and the chance got definitely destroyed in 2006 when Agnes began dating Jack Barnabas. Could take only a few decades before they get enough power again – or Agnes lied, and she successfully crashed their chance for this round herself. (MAG139, MAG145)

* The Buried: “The Sunken Sky”, 17th June 2008, in Bucoda, Washington (USA). Stopped by Gertrude by throwing pieces of Jan Kilbride’s Vast-touched body into the pit. (MAG097, MAG129)

* The Flesh: “The Last Feast”, October 2009, under an old Gnostic temple near Istanbul (Turkey). Stopped by Gertrude and Adelard Dekker thanks to a bunch of explosives. (MAG130)

* The Spiral: “The Great Twisting”, somewhere between October 2009 and 2011 (since Leitner told Jon that Gertrude has lost her last assistant “six years ago” in February 2017), in Sannikov Land, which does not exist somewhere in the Arctic. Stopped by Gertrude by sending Michael Shelley with a map inside of The Distortion, to fuse with it. (MAG101, MAG126)

* The Lonely: no name given, but a probable Story coming about that one. Gertrude took care of it, Peter is still cross about it. (MAG134, MAG151)

* The Dark: “The Extinguished Sun”, around the time a full solar eclipse was happening in Ny-Ålesund on 20th March 2015, three centuries after Edmond Halley was possessed by Dark water after Halley’s eclipse (which may have been a planned ritual attempt in itself). Didn’t work for unidentified reasons, might have been linked to Gertrude’s death or lack of faith, or not. (MAG025, MAG140, MAG143)

* The Stranger: “The Unknowing”, 7th August 2017, at the House of Wax in Great Yarmouth (UK). Gertrude had prepared the thwarting with Adelard’s help, stocking plastic explosives and understanding that it would take someone touched by Beholding in the middle of it, had thought of Gerry for that role though wasn’t sure he could pull it off (MAG137). The ritual was effectively stopped by Basira, Daisy, Tim and Jon using that plastic explosive (MAG118, MAG119): with a Beholding-touched person pulling the trigger in the middle of it – Tim. Previous attempt was in October 1787, at the Court Theatre of Buda, Hungary, and was interrupted by an agent of The Slaughter. (MAG116)

* The End: according to Peter, neither wants nor needs a ritual (MAG134: “it knows that it gets everything eventually, so why bother. The End manifesting would not be a new world of terror; it would be a lifeless world. Devoid of everything.”)

* The Web: according to Peter, has never tried to manifest or to get a ritual – though he didn’t sound absolutely sure about Her motives (MAG134: “The Web, I’ve never really been sure about: if I were to guess, I would say it actually prefers the world as is, playing everyone against each other, and so on.”)

We’re still lacking data about:

* ~The Corruption~, which is the Unloved Fear of this season. Gertrude’s laptop revealed that she had bought large amounts of pesticide (MAG066: “There’s also the matter of the products she was ordering. There were several online orders of petrol, lighter fluid, pesticides, and high-powered torches. They are sporadic, but notable, in that she did not drive, smoke or work in pest control.”) and there might have been something attempted during the Prentiss siege against the Magnus Institute on 29th July, 2016, with some of the worms forming a “ring” in the tunnels (MAG041: “Then I found the circle of worms. […] a few were still embedded in the wall providing the clear outline of a circle. The ceiling was higher here, and all told it must have been about… ten feet in diameter. Its size was not the most disconcerting thing though. Inside the circle, the stone was… wrong somehow.”)

* The Eye: “The Rite of the Watcher’s Crown”. According to Gerry Keay, it was the next one on Gertrude’s list together with “The Unknowing”, and she had already devised a plan to stop it (MAG111: “She didn’t tell me much about that one, just that she knew how to take care of it”), which might have involved reducing the Archives to ashes (MAG080: “I assume [Elias] discovered we were planning to destroy the Archives.”, “Planning a little light arson, are we Jurgen?” / MAG092: “So. For the avoidance of any doubt. I killed Gertrude Robinson because she intended to destroy the Archives.”). Robert Smirke feared that Jonah Magnus was trying to launch it in 1867 (MAG138). Might “have” to happen in 2018, as Jon noticed the two-hundred years anniversary of the Institute’s founding (MAG127) and is experiencing a feeling of urgency (MAG137: “I feel like I’m on a deadline, like I’m running out of time somehow”).

* + The Extinction’s own birth: incoming.

(… Now that I’m thinking again about it: if it turns out that Jonah had indeed tried to launch The Watcher’s Crown under the counter, and that Gertrude didn’t know about it, and that The Eye lost its chance 150 years ago…)

- With the casual reminder that Peter is originally a captain (MAG151, Simon: “The answer to the first is simple: I lost a bet, and this is how the good captain chooses to use that.”), a dimension which has been entirely absent throughout season 4 (Peter had made nautical puns in MAG120, though), and the mention that he was probably “home-schooled”, it feels like a Lukas statement could be (finally!) coming? We also got another confirmation that The Lonely has had its chance this round, and that it had been dealt with:

(MAG134) PETER: Martin… it’s going to be decades, if not centuries, before I get another chance to bring Forsaken into this world. Your last Archivist saw to that. Honestly, if Elias hadn’t killed that woman, I’d have been very tempted. I warned him she was a danger– MARTIN: Peter! PETER: –but he’s always– MARTIN: Peter. PETER: … Anyway. The point is that, yes, obviously, if I last that long, I’m going to try again. But I’m… rather keen for the world not to end, in the meantime?

(MAG151) MARTIN: Is Peter attempting a ritual? SIMON: Not in the sense that you’re used to. Him and his family made their play a few years ago and they failed. I’m sure he’d like me to explain it, but I think he can do that one himself.

So there is definitely a story behind this, and we might get lucky enough to get it directly from Peter’s mouth. Either with Peter telling Martin (on Martin’s request, as a guarantee?), either because Jon, starved and holding a Martin-shaped grudge, will jump at his throat and rip it out of him.

(- The “Great Twisting” happened after October 2009 and Peter had brought Gertrude and Michael Shelley there… so was that before or after Gertrude had crashed their ritual?

Probably before, but. Consider the following: Peter having lost a bet to Elias or to GERTRUDE HERSELF, and consequently being forced to escort Gertrude&Michael with the promise not to throw them overboard or to feed them to The Lonely. Would have been a lovely ride.)

- I’m specifically hysterical over the way Simon described how his last ritual attempt went:

(MAG151) SIMON: It’s all a matter of perspective, you see. My patron has gifted me with… quite frankly, an absurdly long life. An appropriate gift, and one that serves to provide a certain distance from things. Of course, a paltry few centuries is nothing, really, but it’s more than most get. And even in that brief time, I’ve seen all sorts of ebbs and flows to balance off things. … Do you know when the last ritual I attempted was? MARTIN: I… I don’t know, that space station? SIMON: Oh goodness no, that’s the future my boy! But no; it was 1853! The height of the aquarium mania! All over the Empire, people were starting to understand the depths of the terrible unknown below the ocean. And I thought that was a rich vein to be tapped. Even bothered old [Aullier?] into helping me design a special diving bell for the ritual. I called it “The Awful Deep” – and between you and me, I was rather proud of myself. MARTIN: … So why didn’t it work? SIMON: Because it… wasn’t a very good idea…? The Fear wasn’t out there, not like I hoped it was. It all sort of… fizzled. Also, a Hunter broke in and destroyed the mechanism, sent me and all my sacrifices plummeting to the bottom of the ocean.

(I still haven’t managed to catch the name of whoever helped him design the diving bell, but I discovered in the process of searching for it that Edmond Halley historically designed one, which, SCREAMS. But it didn’t sound like the way they have been pronouncing “Halley” until now so, relief.) (Welp no, apparently, it’s a possible pronunciation for “Halley”, so it was him. No wonder that the Fairchilds were invited to cough money for the space station, then, if they had already collaborated in the past.)

He sounds so excited over his failure, and just casually mentioned in passing how yeah, it still killed off a lot of people in the process. (… and it presumably ruined the chance of everyone feeling Vast-affiliated to get off their own ritual for a few centuries? And just because he got his fancy idea and ran with it? HE WAS SO PROUD OF “THE AWFUL DEEP” AND IT WAS SO UNINSPIRED, SIMON PLEASE……………)

- So, with the description of the failed ritual… What was “The Maria Fairchild”, wrecked off the coast of Nova Scotia?

(MAG051, Antonia Hayley) “The old man, Simon Fairchild, had come to us claiming that he had pinpointed the location he believed his great-grandfather’s sailing yacht had been sunk almost a hundred-and-twenty years ago, and he was keen to retrieve any heirlooms or curios he could from it. The only thing interesting or… unusual about his story, was the amount of money he was willing to throw around to back it up.”

1°) 120 years ago meant, at the time of the statement, around 1890s, which is not the aforementioned 1853.

2°) Simon hadn’t yet stolen the identity of “Simon Fairchild” in the 19th century, so the boat welcoming the ritual… couldn’t have been called “Fairchild” unless coincidence?

So, was it the boat from the ritual attempt but Jonny mixed up dates? Or, given that it’s Simon and, as far as I recall, no one else has mentioned the existence of “The Maria Fairchild” existence outside of him (no mention of whether the captain had corroborated Simon’s information, Jon hadn’t tried to fact-check because those events took place in Canada), did Simon just… bullshit that whole backstory in MAG051, just because he wanted new sacrifices and/or recruits and any boat would have done the trick? [Edit: the boat was named “Maria Fairchild” in MAG051, though, they read the plaque before diving.]

- Clock in the background during this episode, so… was it in Elias’s office? We had heard the clock in MAG067, MAG092, MAG102, MAG116, MAG120 (and for the last four, it was implied to indeed take place in Elias’s personal workplace); given how it was heard in MAG126 and MAG142, I had been assuming that Martin was in Elias’s old office, though it wasn’t the case in MAG134 and MAG144 (and MAG149… may have been the Archives’ other office?).

… so, if That Clock indeed means Elias’s office. Does it mean that I’m hearing everything right and have the correct assumptions for what these sounds mean:

(MAG151) [CLICK–] [CONSTANT CLOCK TICKING IN THE BACKGROUND] [FOOTSTEPS ECHOING IN THE BACKGROUND, COMING CLOSER] [CONSTANT STATIC BEGINS] SIMON: Ouuh! Hello? [CHAIR SCRAPING] Hmm~ [RUFFLING OF CLOTHES] Hm–mh! [CHAIR SCRAPING] [SELF-SATISFIED CHUCKLE] [DRAWERS OPENED?] [MORE CHUCKLING] MARTIN: [FAR] Ah! Uh, excuse me sir, you– [IN THE ROOM] Uh, sorry, you can’t actually be here… SIMON: Oh, not to worry! I seem to be doing alright so far. [PAPER SOUNDS] MARTIN: No, I– I mean, this area is actually off-limits to the public, so– SIMON: And quite~ right~ too~! Goodness! The things they could learn here…! Turn your hair white, eh? [CHUCKLE] Best to keep them out, I say! [TURNING A PAGE, HUMMING]

Was Simon just rummaging into Elias’s desk and looking through files like that, because sIMON AHAHAHAHAH.

- Aaaand we got a date for the statement: August 14th 2018!

Elias has been in prison for more than a year, YOUHOU!!!

… Which means precisely we’re past the one-year anniversary of The Unknowing (is it why Jon immediately thought about it in MAG150?), and precisely one year and one week since Tim’s death. SOB. (This season still feels so… strange to me, on the fact that: you don’t really feel like seasons 1 to 3 technically happened. There is virtually nothing left of Sasha (understandable: no certain memories of her) nor Tim, who has barely been mentioned. In the same way that this season has been physically more centred on the inside of the Institute compared to season 3 (the exceptions being four visits to Elias, a glimpse at Melanie’s therapist, MAG141 and MAG143 about the Svalbard trip, MAG147 at Hill Top Road), it’s like time… stopped a bit, too – there is barely any future except the prospect of The Extinction and the looming threat of The Watcher’s Crown, and the only relevant past has been about… spooks, rituals, Gertrude. Tim had worked in the Archives for almost two years, and yet, it doesn’t feel like… he ever existed there…? It’s as though, with Peter’s arrival, some of the relationship maps, present or past, have been broken, too. I still wonder if it’s just like that, if Tim&Sasha are just… not meant to be relevant ever again, or if feelings are meant to come out pouring, sticky and corrosive, at some point, when there would be an argument about self-sacrifice/dying/surviving. Same with Martin’s relationship to his mother.)

So, timeline time!

MAG121 (+MAG122?): February 15th 2018 MAG123: February 17th (“Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.”) MAG124: February 24th~ (“It’s been a week and… Melanie’s attitude towards me hasn’t softened.”) MAG125: ? MAG126: ? MAG127: ? MAG128: 3rd March [Jon extracting Breekon’s statement] MAG129: ? MAG130: 17th~ March (“It’s been two weeks since I heard from Basira”) [Gertrude recording] MAG131: 20th March [Jon taking Jared’s statement] MAG132: 24th March (given that Jon has been in the coffin for three days, either 21 to 24th, or 24 to 27th?) MAG133: ? MAG134: ? [Martin reading a statement] MAG135: ? MAG136: at the very least two weeks after MAG132 (since Jon hasn’t seen Daisy in his dreams “for the last couple of weeks”) MAG137: ? [Gertrude recording] MAG138: ? [Martin reading a statement] MAG139: ? MAG140: one day after MAG139; end of May 2018 (“Summer solstice is the 21st of June. So we leave in a fortnight, and should arrive about a week before.”) MAG141: June 11th 2018 (two days before arrival) MAG142: June 12th 2018 [Martin taking Jess Tyrell’s complaint] MAG143: June 16th 2018 [Jon taking Manuela’s statement] MAG144: ? (same day or shortly after MAG143, since Jon&Basira are “back”) [Martin reading a statement] MAG145: “just over a week” since Jon&Basira’s return [Gertrude recording] MAG146: (July 20th 2018 or the day prior?) MAG147: July 20th 2018 MAG148: ? MAG149: ? [Martin reading a statement] MAG150: ? MAG151: August 14th 2018 [Martin taking Simon’s statement]

* … I didn’t remember that gigantic gap between Jon’s return from Norway and the Hill Top Road expedition, wow.

* 2018 carries on. Jon is aware that it’s the 200th anniversary of the Institute, and the year… is not over yet, but only four months and a half remaining.

* Jon’s last live-statement was two months ago, and that’s when he also he destroyed the Dark Sun. (And he’s remained weak and hungry since then; we… still don’t know if the symptoms will fade with time, or if… they’ll just get worse.)

* When did Jon find Martin’s tapes?

(MAG151) BASIRA: I don’t think so. Three weeks I’ve been waiting to catch sight of you, and now I find you chatting with Simon Fairchild. No, you’re not pulling your little “vanishing act” on me. […] MARTIN: You–you know about that? BASIRA: Yeah. Jon found the tapes you made for him– MARTIN: SHH–SHH-SHH!! SHHHHH!!! BASIRA: [LOWER] Found a stash of them a while ago. I made sure he shared with the class. MARTIN: Oh, there you go, then!

Basira has been trying to get her hands on Martin for “three weeks”, which means since around July 25th, so… after the Annabelle expedition. So, looks like she followed the vein of paranoia and tried to check if something else was manipulating them / keeping an eye on them?

But it doesn’t mean that that was when Jon found the tapes: was it after Annabelle? Or after their return from Norway? Or even before the trip?

- Some tiny doubt regarding sound – was that static, or a ruffling of clothes?

(MAG151) MARTIN: [SIGH] BASIRA: Who was that? MARTIN: Basira, please, I don’t have time. BASIRA: Oh no, you don’t! [OUTBURST OF STATIC?] MARTIN: Basira, let. go. BASIRA: I don’t think so.

I thiiiiiiiiiink it was static given how it was “fading” when Martin spoke but I’m not sure about it (it lacked the faint distorted sounds that we could hear in MAG149, imitating Peter’s, but then, they were preceded with static at that time. Martin is just very faint compared to Jon or Peter). The way I understand it: Basira grabbed Martin before he could disappear like he had managed to do with Georgie? And Basira wasn’t surprised about it, so it maaaaybe indeed, when she had told Jon that Martin tended to “disappear”:

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: Do they? … W–w–who else– Did Martin say something? BASIRA: … It was a few months back. After the attack. He’d started spending time with Lukas. At least, he said he was. And I wanted answers. He kept telling me to trust him, to hear the guy out even though he still wouldn’t actually show his face. I told him he could… drop me an email or vanish me. ARCHIVIST: … Right. BASIRA: Honestly, I kind of regret not just… grabbing Martin and shaking an explanation out of him. But I didn’t want to push it. He was in a… bad place, what with the attack and his mom and everything, so I didn’t press it. Now, I try and bring it up, he just… disappears. Nothing to be done.

… she meant that in a spooky way already? It was unclear to me whether she meant that he was just leaving and refusing to talk and hiding for a while every time she tried to talk to him, or whether he was disappearing in the Peter way.

(- So, it took Basira three weeks to get her hands on Martin, which means he’s (getting?) inaccessible. Yet, Daisy had managed to find him in MAG142 (in a room with a clock in the background) and in MAG144 (… without any clock). Which means he wasn’t in the same place that second time.

… Had Daisy been Hunting him back then, to be able to find him so easily…?)

- It was minor but at the same time… I got Feelings over the fact that Basira, who had pointed out to Jon that she hadn’t managed to get a lot from Martin’s mouth, who told Jon she hadn’t wanted to “push” Martin given his circumstances, snapped this time and didn’t let it go. Wanted to hear, from Martin himself, that he wasn’t betraying them; asked/ordered him to talk to her:

(MAG151) BASIRA: That makes me worried. Makes me suspicious. [SILENCE] Tell me I’m wrong. MARTIN: [INSTANTLY] You’re wrong. BASIRA: So what’s going on, then? [SILENCE] Talk to me. MARTIN: It’s complicated.

It’s… probably worrisome from Basira – she’s been way too suspicious of everyone, she even used the same vocabulary with Martin as the one Melanie had used to depict her (… so Melanie wasn’t exaggerating):

(MAG131) MELANIE: [LONG EXHALE] Basira is, hum… Basira deals in “intel” these days, in “usable data”; assets, not “feelings”, not… “people”. Crying, shaking, nightmares, that is “better”. It doesn’t feel like it, but as far as Basira sees it, I’m not compromised anymore, and… that is “better”.

(MAG151) BASIRA: Jon may be going through a whole “we have to trust Martin” thing, but I’m not. As far as I can see, you’re either compromised, or you’re being played. And I want to know which.

But at the same time, she let him go and her “Don’t make me regret this.” was saying that she would let him do his thing. So. She finally (kind of) shook an explanation out of him, in the end, and… she knows what he’s heading for. Was it the self-sacrificing bit which convinced her of his good faith – since she… should guess that, indeed, if Jon knew about it, Jon would probably try to prevent it?

- On the other hand: Basira’s paranoia spiral is very reminiscent of Jon’s in season 2, mixed with her background as a police officer – is that… a Beholding effect at work? She was also very quick at pinpointing that the guy Martin had spoken with was Simon:

(MAG151) BASIRA: I don’t think so. Three weeks I’ve been waiting to catch sight of you, and now I find you chatting with Simon Fairchild. No, you’re not pulling your little “vanishing act” on me. MARTIN: How did you know about– BASIRA: Yeah, Jon’s not the only one who listens to statements.

We got a description of Simon in MAG051 (“He must have been pushing a hundred years old, just a tiny pink skeleton of a man”) so it could have been thanks to that… but randomly knowing stuff and claiming to have read it in a statement was also what happened with Jon:

(MAG102) ARCHIVIST: Is there anyone else who might know what it is, or– or where? Aside from Leitner, or Gerard. ELIAS: … Sorry? Gerard Keay? ARCHIVIST: Uh… yes…? ELIAS: How did you… Who, who told you he was working with Gertrude? ARCHIVIST: No-one, I–I–I just, I… I read it in one of the statements. ELIAS: I don’t think you did. ARCHIVIST: I… but… aaah… ELIAS: You just… knew it! ARCHIVIST: What, no, I, I… Th– that’s not a– ELIAS: No, no, no. No, Jon, this is good. It’s a promising development!

(Jon had already casually put Gerry in the list of people who had worked with Gertrude in MAG099; so he hadn’t noticed that he had Known about it… like that, for a while.)

So. Maybe Basira just guessed because “tiny pink skeleton of a man” + spook translates into Simon Fairchild (we listeners would also think about it), but… there is also the possibility that she’s going through a s2!Jon phase without realising, falling deeper into Beholding. ;;

- Though, AHAHAH, obviously, Basira would be extremely suspicious and cautious about the idea of “x is following a Spook’s leads (and it will end badly)”.

(MAG151) MARTIN: … It’s none of your business. BASIRA: No? ‘Cause it seems to me like you’re panning around two very dangerous people right around the time you’re cutting all of us out. […] MARTIN: Look, I don’t have time for this. I–I don’t like that I have to work with Peter any more than you do, and I didn’t know that Simon was involved until today. But I would hope that you and Jon understood the importance of preventing an apocalypse. BASIRA: [SIGH] I guess I’m just a bit burned out on the end of the world. MARTIN: Yeah, well… that’s your problem. […] BASIRA: You’re not expecting to come out of this, are you? MARTIN: … I’ll do what I have to. If I’m right… no one else needs to get hurt. [SILENCE] BASIRA: [SIGH] … Okay. You want to do whatever “grand sacrifice” you think is going to save everyone, go ahead. But you’d best be sure you’re not just playing their game. MARTIN: I know what I’m doing. BASIRA: We’ll see. [PAUSE] Don’t make me regret this.

From her perspective, Martin is… doing with Peter exactly what she had done with Elias: and when she planned to prevent an apocalypse by going to Norway with Jon, it only resulted in Jon attacking Floyd, and indeed neutralising the Dark Sun – but becoming weaker and hungry in the process. And even before that: The Unknowing had cost her Daisy a first time, and she had spent seven months trying to convince herself that, even though there was no body, Daisy was dead. I don’t think that Basira is trying to make amends of the fact that she had hidden that she was following Elias’s leads, however; it was a sore spot when Jon tried to reproach it in MAG148 and she had immediately bit back. She’s been grown quite dry and hypocritical since The Unknowing? Only able to trust herself, like she told Jon in MAG128? But, at the very least, she would know from experience that… no, following Peter/Elias’s leads only serves their plans.

- !! I had already squinted hard over Jon’s description of Martin’s situation last episode:

(MAG150) ARCHIVIST: And at least none of us is suffering alone. … Martin’s got it the worst, of course. But it still seems to be his choice. And I have to trust that he knows what he’s doing.

And INDEED, it makes a lot of sense that he had known for a while a bit More about Martin’s situation than we thought.

(MAG151) BASIRA: Yeah. Jon found the tapes you made for him– MARTIN: SHH–SHH-SHH!! SHHHHH!!! BASIRA: [LOWER] Found a stash of them a while ago. I made sure he shared with the class. MARTIN: Oh, there you go, then! BASIRA: Jon may be going through a whole “we have to trust Martin” thing, but I’m not.

So that’s why Jon knew that Martin had it bad with The Lonely, and how he knew that Martin had a plan and wasn’t just a victim or being held hostage by Peter! But that raises a few questions:

* How long has Jon known about it? Was it only recently (after Norway or after Hill Top Road) or for longer? In MAG139 already, Jon had wondered why they had been “chosen” and had asked the question about Martin specifically; he knew that Peter had plans, and was exceptionally worried about Martin, to the point of trying to use his powers to Know about Peter’s projects:

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Why were we chosen? Agnes was created – crafted with a specific purpose so finely tuned that even a grain of uncertainty threatened the entirety of her being. [CHORTLING] But I’m so full of doubt it feels like there’s no room for anything else, and… I’m sure Martin is the same…! […] [SIGH] I’m just worried about Martin. … Christ… Every other Avatar gets to have their feelings… burned right out of them, but me? I’ve… just got to sit in mine. … I know he said he had everything under control. I need… to trust him; whatever he’s doing with Peter, he’s… he knows what he’s doing. Probably. I just– … [VERY FAST] I need him to be okay. I just do. … If I… Knew… what his plan was; if I knew what Peter was doing; if I just– [WHISPERING] … Can I…?

… Had Jon already listened to one of the tapes, back then?

* … Which tapes has Jon listened to?

-> MAG149: Martin read a note from Gertrude (the statement-giver had been sent by Adelard, and Gertrude was aware that Adelard was calling what he suspected to be a new Fear “The Extinction”). Martin highlighted that Peter abandoning him was probably in order to increase his loneliness/Lonely-compatibity. … It………….. also contains Georgie and Martin’s exchange, and AOUCH AOUCH AOUCH if Jon heard that one……………………

-> MAG144: the other side of Martin pushing Daisy away – that he was fearing that Peter would go after her. The keyword “Extinction” mentioned multiple times, Martin exceptionally snappy at Peter and trying to get answers, Peter announcing that Martin would meet someone and get a few answers.

-> MAG142: Martin (?) had already got that one through to Basira&Melanie&Daisy by MAG146.

-> MAG138: was directly addressed to Jon at the end, though the statement mostly dealt with The Eye and Smirke’s Architecture (The Extinction was only namedropped by Martin once during the post-statement). Martin warned that Peter might be interested in the tunnels below the Institute. It also gave some information about Jonah Magnus / a potential Watcher’s Crown attempt, or project, and Jon, who had been exceptionally impatient on that subject in MAG137… just stopped mentioning it afterwards.

-> MAG134: was the one which talked in great length about The Extinction, with both Adelard’s and Peter’s inputs. It was also when Peter confirmed that The Lonely has already attempted its ritual during the current cycle, and that both The Web and The End were assumed to be uninterested in trying to pull one off. It… would make sense that Jon and the others listened to this one, given how Jon didn’t mention researching the rituals of the Web and the End (and, indeed, if he knew that they’re not a current concern… there’s no need to focus on them). Interestingly: it’s also during that post-statement that Peter and Martin discussed Jon’s journey in the coffin, and how Martin had put the tape recorders around it. So: Jon would know that Martin was still keen on protecting him.

Tl;dr Especially with MAG134 and MAG138, Jon would have had proof that, no, Martin was not abandoning them and was still… very much on their (Jon’s) side.

* And that’s also why the Team Archives seem to be on standby since Hill Top Road – they’re indeed waiting, because they’re aware that Martin is the one dealing with a current threat!

* Jon seems to be sticking to his decision from MAG117 to “trust” the assistants… but given how Tim died/sacrificed himself on him through that trust, I wonder if that’s his entire reason. Is Jon taking some comfort in the distance with Martin, because it means not having to face Martin after what Jon did to the five people he attacked in season 4…?

* Will Jon&co find another of Dekker’s statements (Peter had told Martin that he hadn’t found all of them as of MAG144) in the Archives? Or something about Dekker’s whereabouts? What happened to Dekker, why is he absolutely silent right now…

(My bets are on either “became one of the first Extinction avatars somehow”, either “got killed by Peter who ‘overreacted’ like Elias had done with Leitner”.)

* Heyheyheyhey, I was already wondering why Jon had read MAG150’s statement and if something had been influencing him – why reach the conclusion that he had to keep trusting Martin and not do anything, when the statement was demonstrating that affection and trying to reach could break through The Lonely?

1°) That’s because Jon doesn’t think, at the moment, that Martin needs to be “saved”, because he has proof (Martin’s tapes) that Martin is planning something – and not simply swallowed into something he doesn’t understand at all. (Though, yeah, we know, it will… likely backfire.)

2°) That’s also giving clues, as a safety net, to maybe manage to get Martin back in case everything goes to hell thanks to Peter.

3°) ……………………. DID JON

SPECIFICALLY

PICK

THAT STATEMENT

AS A SORT-OF-INDIRECT-MESSAGE TO MARTIN

BECAUSE IT WAS GIVING HIM AN OCCASION TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”……………

- We got Simon, absolutely chill and casually gleeful about sacrificing people and, Jon, at least in MAG146, wasn’t… fine with it (Helen’s “It would be better if you embraced it.” was telling: he currently isn’t).

That question has been at the back of my mind since we’ve begun to meet avatars: Jude quite easily butchered her first victim, Mike Crew explained that he had discovered he didn’t mind killing to reach his goal while on his quest to escape The Spiral, Simon said he “never looked back” since he embraced The Vast, Oliver said that he had understood what he had to do on the boat (meaning, shooting the captain and leading everyone to their deaths)… Did all of them rewrite their own history after the fact, presenting their pasts as more “coherent” with who they currently are, and was there a time they actually used to be more ashamed and desperate about their own actions and sacrifices; or were they already quite down with murder from the start? (Oliver is probably the most ambiguous case: he sounded absolutely hopeful and Trying His Best in MAG011, but present!Oliver talked of his past self as mostly naïve… and admitted that he had even lied through omission, back then.)

Jon mentioned a “bias of survivorship” in MAG129 regarding victims; is there one regarding avatars, too, because usually, the ones choosing these paths would already have been quite ruthless? Is that an ineluctable progression (through habit, desensitisation, repetition), or was Jon a bit of an… outlier, from the start, potentially by accident – although he had been giving the impression of being dry and cruel at the start of the series, we discovered that it… was mostly a façade, in his case, because he tends to Hide Himself quite efficiently?

- Simon’s and Arthur Nolan’s words about Rituals/Entities/their relationships to their patrons were… quite similar?

(MAG145) ARTHUR: You’ve never really had to bother with it, have you? You got him upstairs to point the way as often as not, and the rest of the time you’re just figuring out people – or things that used to be people. You never try to talk with that Eye of yours. You never had to second-guess a god. ‘Cause that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? We feel Its joy and Its… anger; It warps us, and changes us, and feeds on us, though not in the ways we expect. The one thing It never does is just… tell us what to do. It seeds us with this… aching, impossible desire to change the world, to bring It to us. Then, It leaves us to guess and bicker and fight over how the hell you can actually do it. … If it’s possible. Sometimes, I think They understand us as… little as we understand Them. We don’t think like They do. GERTRUDE: I’m not actually convinced they “think” at all. ARTHUR: You might be right. But Agnes did. That’s the thing about an… “incarnation”, isn’t it? […] Find me one so-called “expert” on all of this who didn’t end up regretting all of it! … That’s the trouble with overthinking any of this: you ignore your gut. And to my mind, that’s the only part any of Them Beyond… actually care about. They don’t give a toss about your “rules”, or “systems”. They only care about what feels right, what freezes your belly with terror.

(MAG151) SIMON: The thing you have to remember is that no one actually knows how these things work. Not really. There’s always been plenty of theories, of course, and over a century or two you do start to get an intuitive feel for it, but… there’s really no hard and fast “rules”. The Powers, or Entities, or Fears, or whatever you want to call them, are bound up in… emotion. In feeling. How they exist, what they can do, how they interact with the world, it… it all makes about as much logical sense as a nightmare. Which is to say, there is a certain sort of emotional logic to it all. Things feel like they flow together in a way that makes sense, but if you try to stop and… do the maths, then it all comes apart. At least, in my experience. “When is a new Power born?” Well; when does it feel like its birth would be right? When enough creatures suffer a terror of it that feels distinct, that feels truly its own… then it would probably feel right for it to emerge into its own. Or perhaps there’s a ritual, if it feels right to enact some sort of birthing ceremony, some… apocalyptic midwifery. […] MARTIN: You make it sound like the… the Entities don’t even know that they’re doing. SIMON: I have no idea if they’re doing anything at all – if they’re even capable of “doing” things. I know that most of their servants are simply doing their best to interpret and serve something that is almost definitively inconceivable. MARTIN: You can’t be serious…! SIMON: Alright. Let’s… try one of those analogies Peter finds so annoying. Hum… imagine you are deaf. But every night, you hear the most beautiful music in yours dreams. And your every waking thought is consumed by trying to reproduce that music. Oh! You’re mute, as well, in this analogy, or at least you can’t sing. And you need to invent the idea of a musical instrument from scratch. Everyone else is also deaf, and mute, and, hum… MARTIN: Yes, yes, I think I get it. SIMON: Yes, well, the point is, most of us are trying so desperately to recreate our own dream symphony that… we bring an awful lot of our own baggage into the mix. […] And honestly, the idea that this is all some… “grand cosmic joke”, thousands of us running around spreading horror and sabotaging each other pointlessly while these impossible, unknowable things just lurk out there, feeding off the misery we cause… [INHALE] I find that interpretation quite appealing…! MARTIN: … “But”? SIMON: I still hear the music in my dreams.

………………. but it raises, more and more, the question: Jon, what music do you hear in your own dreams? (Jon was especially worrisome in MAG145’s post-statement…)

At least, Jon is currently accepting the cold turkey (or at least, as far as we know, he hasn’t wrestled Basira&Daisy&Melanie to try to get out to go hunt) but… how long can it even go on…

- Reassuring point: Team Archives has actually been communicating in the tapes’ backs, since Jon shared his discoveries with the others and they all know about The Extinction. When Jon was describing their less-than-ideal-but-we’re-trying-to-face-Peter’s-effects in MAG150, it had sounded absolutely cold but… there is a bit more substance to it, then (they’re indeed sharing, and hiding from the tapes).

Good: Martin still Very Aware that Peter is bad, because the fact that he was growing accustomed to his presence / was desperate to the point of almost-missing-Peter-as-he-was-the-last-person-he-could-interact-with had me a bit worried.

(MAG142) MARTIN: [SIGH] Th–the worst part is I don’t even want to talk to him about it. I’m just… [SIGH] I suppose I’m just getting comfortable with the distance. [SIGH] Cut off. [DRY CHUCKLE] “Lonely”. [INHALE] Mind you, Peter’s not wrong. It really is easier than actually just trying to communicate with people.

(MAG149) MARTIN: Sort of… surprised Peter hasn’t rocked up with some more… “insights”? Haven’t seen him around for a while, actually. I mean… eh, it’s not like I miss him [CHUCKLING] but, at least he was someone to– [PAUSE] … Ah. [HUFF] [PAPER RUSTLING] Yeah, that makes sense. [EXHALE] A’ight, fine. Just… me on my lonesome for a while, then. … Could be worse. … Peaceful, at least. … I don’t miss all the shouting. [CHUCKLE]

(MAG151) MARTIN: Look, I don’t have time for this. I–I don’t like that I have to work with Peter any more than you do, and I didn’t know that Simon was involved until today. But I would hope that you and Jon understood the importance of preventing an apocalypse. […] Peter’s the one with the plan, and… it needs me to be alone. BASIRA: And you don’t see anything suspicious about that? MARTIN: Of course I do! But it… might be the only way and… [INHALE] So far, at least, he’s been honest with me. Awful, but… honest. I need to do this. For everyone.

Bad: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, super worried that Basira and Martin, although they (… naïvely?!) tried to keep quiet, explicitly discussed what Martin was doing behind Peter’s back……………….

(MAG151) MARTIN: It’s complicated. BASIRA: What? They’re just here out of the goodness of their hearts? Helping you save the world from Extinction? MARTIN: You–you know about that? BASIRA: Yeah. Jon found the tapes you made for him– MARTIN: SHH–SHH-SHH!! SHHHHH!!! BASIRA: [LOWER] Found a stash of them a while ago. I made sure he shared with the class. MARTIN: Oh, there you go, then!

mARTIN, BABE??? I don’t think that trying to keep your voices low helped in any way?! If Peter was there eavesdropping, then he’s still there and listening. If whatever-is-listening-through-the-tape-recorders didn’t already know already that Martin had a stash of tapes, and that Jon&co had listened to them already, then It knows now. If Elias was Watching you two and is planning to tell Peter… then he will be able to do it anyway.

And even: Elias called Martin out on being a manipulator back in MAG138; he… probably saw Martin stashing the tapes, Jon discovering them and sharing them with the others? So if he’s in this with Peter… he’ll probably tell him, or has told him already. Which. Shit. The fact that Martin is still trying to hide his double-agenda sounds more and more useless…?

I’m a bit afraid that Martin has been trying what worked with Elias with Peter: staying close, focusing on their shared goals (stopping The Unknowing / The Extinction), roughly following the path he’s assigned (reading statements, staying at the Institute while he “officially” wanted to go with the others / agreeing to cut ties with the others) while showing his discontentment for good measure… and planning to backstab when he’d find a weakness. But Peter is not Elias (and we’re not even sure that Elias wasn’t counting on the others to take him down and send him to prison, given how it had been “easy” for Melanie to find evidence against him…); Gerry had pointed out to Jon that the Lukases were “very good” at pushing people “in the right direction” amongst the family.

- Simon technically avoided to answer one of Martin’s Big Questions:

(MAG151) MARTIN: … Fine. So why me? What’s his plan? Why not get the others involved? SIMON: He is what he is, Martin. For a creature of The Lonely, the urge is always to isolate; never to communicate or connect. I suspect that’s why he’s so keen on wagers: it allows him a framework for cooperation that doesn’t risk any sort of intimacy. As for his plan… [INHALE] I don’t know the details. But I believe there’s something in the Institute that he thinks can help his cause. MARTIN: … And he needs me to use it. SIMON: Presumably – from what he said, it must be “powerfully aligned to The Watcher”. If he wishes to use it, it would need someone already touched by The Eye. And if he wants to control that someone… MARTIN: They need to serve The Lonely.

Why Martin? Peter had highlighted that Martin was already Lonely-compatible, and Elias acknowledged that he had basically given Martin to him:

(MAG134) MARTIN: Mm–okay. Okay, so, so let’s say, for now, that I believe you. Hypothetically. Wh–what does this have to do with me? PETER: [BREATHES] I’m still working out some of the kinks. But I believe I have a plan. However, it requires this place, and it requires someone touched by The Beholding. Elias was, perhaps unsurprisingly, unwilling to help. MARTIN: And you thought that since I’m so lonely already, I’d be ideal. PETER: Yes!

(MAG138) MARTIN: So why haven’t you helped him?! […] ELIAS: Anyway, I have helped him. I’ve given him control of the Institute, I’ve provided him with–   MARTIN: Me? ELIAS: –any manpower he might require.

Which, indeed, we saw happening in MAG108:

(MAG108) MARTIN: Oh. You’re… one of them, aren’t you. A… a Lukas. PETER: Yes, that’s– Peter. Pleased to meet you. Now, how did you know that? MARTIN: I, I was just reading? Jon left some notes, and… PETER: Ah, I see. I’m sorry to have disturbed you. It’s one of Elias’s little jokes. MARTIN: I don– What? PETER: Did he suggest you record a statement today? One that mentioned me? MARTIN: … yeah? Sssort of? I mean… not you specifically, but… PETER: I have a meeting with him today. He suggested… I’m sure he’s watching from his office, grinning from ear to ear. MARTIN: I… don’t… PETER: I almost thought he genuinely wanted me to meet the team! Oh well. MARTIN: I’m really sorry, I… I don’t actually…

So, Elias had orchestrated Martin’s and Peter’s meeting, knew that Martin would catch Peter’s interest, Peter is indeed all set on Martin helping/being used for his plan against The Extinction – but why Martin specifically? There was a large pool of Beholding-trapped assistants at the time of MAG108: Basira was around (though she was together with Daisy so that was probably making her lose Lonely points); Melanie had already read two statements and Elias had just pointed out how her life was “indeed shockingly absent of any meaningful connections. That’s actually one of the reasons I chose you for this job” (MAG106; though Elias also pulverised her in that episode and Martin&Basira witnessed how she was having a bad time afterwards); Tim… had been shown to be particularly impacted by Sasha’s death, had just described how his brother had died a few years ago, had been dangerously antagonising towards Elias (MAG104), and had decided to turn his back on everyone in the Archives to go it solo. Martin indeed sounded like a logical choice, but there were still other options – so what was the tipping argument to throw Martin at Peter? Was it because Elias had never been fond of Martin in the first place (he tended to treat him with casual contempt in MAG060 and MAG084)? Was it because Martin’s ~hopeless crush~ and situation with his mother made him especially isolated/lonely? Was it because Martin was the most “actively” Beholding amongst the assistants in the statements-reading area? That was the reason why Elias had jumped on the idea of keeping him at the Institute when the others were planning the trip for The Unknowing:

(MAG116) MARTIN: No, no, I can help, I’ve been reading the statements! ELIAS: … Quite right, er, probably best he does stay behind. BASIRA: What, so you have a backup if Jon doesn’t make it? ELIAS: I’m sure that won’t be necessary.

(-> Elias didn’t confirm that he was planning to use Martin as a back-up Archivist, but the fact that he had read statements was a Super Effective argument, so it… mattered, in one way or another.)

(I think it’s very likely, in canon, that Martin’s lineage is absolutely unspooky, and that his family story is a “normal” family drama, as painful and tragic and heart-breaking as it is already? But I’m also very very very onboard with the Lukas!Martin theory and won’t give up on it as long as I don’t have Martin’s birth certificate and a dozen blood-testing results from different labs to prove that his father wasn’t a runaway Lukas, so:

(MAG151) MARTIN: …. Who are you? Did Peter send you? SIMON: Ah, you must be Martin? Goodness! He was not exaggerating. MARTIN: What’s that supposed to mean? SIMON: Oh, come now, don’t be like that.

… What was that “He was not exaggerating” referring to? Was it to Martin’s behaviour (the fact he was a bit nagging, or trying to keep people away from dangerous areas, or quickly understanding that this old man could be acquainted with Peter)? Or was it about Martin’s physical appearance – Martin, who is apparently the spitting image of his father…?)

(Other possibility: Simon went “He was not exaggerating” because Martin, who wasn’t canonically “the hot one” in MAG052 (that was Tim.), is actually the “ASTOUNDINGLY AND INCREDIBLY hot one” in the team.)

- I’m impressed at how Martin has learned to navigate amongst the Fears architecture on his own? Even in season 3, he had a lot of trouble with the powers and recurring figures:

(MAG098) MARTIN: [SIGH] I wish John kept better organised notes because I know he’s mentioned someone called Maxwell Rayner, but I cannot find much in the way of any info–

Back then, “Maxwell Rayner” shouldn’t have been such a vague name for Martin, given how he had participated in the researches around Hither Green in MAG025 and the Montauk case in MAG052. But here, Martin immediately identified “Simon Fairchild” as The One:

(MAG151) SIMON: Oh, come now, don’t be like that. [INHALE] Let’s start over. Simon – Simon Fairchild. Peter asked me to look in on you and… have a small chat. Well! A big chat, really. Answer all those… nagging questions. MARTIN: Simon Fairchild. [PAUSE] [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] Wait, “Simon Fairchild” as in… SIMON: As in “all those people who said I did horrible things to them and their loved ones”? Yes. They have been in, haven’t they? I’d hate to think I’m underrepresented in here, not when Peter tells me that that… “bone” fellow has at least half a dozen. MARTIN: N–no, no, [NERVOUS CHUCKLE], not… not at all. Y–you’ve sent plenty of people our way.

(It’s still… something, that avatars are both looking down at The Eye for being a “bottom feeder” or for robbing part of the fear, but at the same time, are preoccupied by the amount of statements mentioning them, as if they were competing about it. (… why are they all looking down on Jared.)) Martin was able to be exceptionally diplomatic (mix of honesty and not-pissing-off-something-that-could-wreck-you), to immediately ask good and relevant questions although he hadn’t been warned that he would encounter Simon right now, cautious enough to check that there wouldn’t be any “trick” in the fact he was allowed to ask questions:

(MAG151) MARTIN: And you do it? Why? SIMON: Is that your first question? MARTIN: … Is there a limit? SIMON: Only until I get bored. And that does tend to come more quickly, these days. MARTIN: O–okay, okay, then sure, sure. First question, then: “why are you helping Peter?” D–don’t you serve different… you know… Fears? […] How are new powers born? SIMON: Hm… don’t know! MARTIN: How soon could it attempt its ritual? SIMON: No clue! MARTIN: How do we stop it? SIMON: Can’t help you! MARTIN: [THROUGH GRITTED TEETH] Could you, at least, try? […] And how close is it, do you think? […] You don’t sound worried. […] And let me guess – you think he can’t see the “big picture”? […] … So why didn’t it work? […] Assuming The Extinction doesn’t derail everything…! SIMON: Which is why… I’m happy helping Peter. But! If it does: then I’ll either be dead, which will be fine, or… I’ll adjust. MARTIN: It doesn’t scare you? […] So what do you do, then, if, if the world is pointless and your god is so weak right now? […] I thought you said that the maths doesn’t work. SIMON: Oh, you are a quick one! […] MARTIN: … What about the monsters? […] So– [EXHALE] So if no one’s ever actually communicated with their patron, how do you know they even want rituals? H–h–how does anyone know if they could ever even work?! SIMON: We don’t. MARTIN: [INCREDULOUS SCOFF] SIMON: And honestly, the idea that this is all some… “grand cosmic joke”, thousands of us running around spreading horror and sabotaging each other pointlessly while these impossible, unknowable things just lurk out there, feeding off the misery we cause… [INHALE] I find that interpretation quite appealing…! MARTIN: … “But”? SIMON: I still hear the music in my dreams. MARTIN: Hm. [SILENCE] Who are you? No, no: who were you? […] You said you were here to answer my questions for Peter, but so far you’ve told me basically nothing of any use. SIMON: The big answers are rarely helpful. MARTIN: Then let’s try some smaller ones. Is Peter attempting a ritual? SIMON: Not in the sense that you’re used to. Him and his family made their play a few years ago and they failed. I’m sure he’d like me to explain it, but I think he can do that one himself. MARTIN: How honest has he been with me? SIMON: About which part? MARTIN: Protecting the others. […] … How do you feel about this? SIMON: You might need to be a tad more specific. MARTIN: All of it. Peter’s plan, The Extinction, me…

All of his questions were excellent ones: he was able to keep in mind the data Simon was providing, he was extending questions to his current situation (outside of The Extinction itself), he was able to use his snark and sass to squeeze more answers and knowledge out of Simon, he was able to ask for contextualisation and keep in mind how Powers tend to oppose each other. Simon was absolutely willing to talk but Martin honestly made the best use of it – I found the way he led the interview even more impressive than the way Jon had dealt with Gerry? And asking questions is supposed to be Jon’s thing as The Archivist. (Well. Getting answers, whatever his questions are, technically, but.)

When pressed, Martin was also able to find the best possible answer to Simon’s jovial threat:

(MAG151) SIMON: And I never looked back. I tried to share it with others, not just as sacrifices; but they often find it difficult to keep up with the, hum… velocity I tend to live at. They tend to get left behind, and I suppose it doesn’t help that I can’t… bring myself to see any of them as anything other than trivial. […] I’d say “anytime”, but honestly, if you see me again… I may just throw you off something for a joke. How do you feel about… rollercoasters? MARTIN: Uh… Neutral. SIMON: Oh… [CHAIR SCRAPING] You’re no fun.

That was the only safe possible answer: if Martin was positive about it, it would mean being a potential recruit; if he was showing discomfort, that would make him a sacrifice. And Martin was able to improvise the it, although he had been known as The Assistant Of Many Fears:

(MAG015) ARCHIVIST: I sent Tim to check the details – Martin declined to help with this investigation as he’s “a bit claustrophobic” […].

(MAG022) MARTIN: The light from the window behind me cast it pretty clearly on the floor, and looking at it I swear the edges seemed to move. It was like a… like a, like an undulation, like, like they were being shifted by something. I mean… look, I know you hate the word, but it was really… spooky. […] I think I might have… lost my mind a bit, then. It all… feels very… strange, blurry. I–I remember stamping and stamping as-as more made their way under my doorway. I-I remember grabbing every towel, sock, bit of fabric scrap that I could find, stuffing them under the door, into the cracks around the window.

(MAG039) TIM: Martin’s gone. ARCHIVIST: I’m getting to that. Martin has disappeared. Tim was right about there being fewer worms down here, but they are much faster. More aggressive. None of us have been hit yet but… during one of the more alarming encounters, Martin ran off. TIM: He thought we were behind him, I think. ARCHIVIST: He didn’t think at all.

(MAG040) MARTIN: Sorry. ARCHIVIST: Ah, it’s fine. I just… I only need from when you got separated. From when you got lost in the tunnels. MARTIN: No, I mean… I’m sorry I left you. ARCHIVIST: … Oh Martin. MARTIN: [TEARFUL] It was an accident. I thought you two were with me! I mean, the worms came at us, and they were so much faster, and then there was the gas, and the running, and I just… I, I thought you were right behind me. But when I turned round, you were gone. You were both gone. It was an accident.

(MAG072) ARCHIVIST: I’ve had Martin looking into the case of John Haan, though it’s slow going as whenever there’s a picture he ends up needing to take a breath of fresh air.

(MAG108) MARTIN: I’m really sorry, I… I don't actually… PETER: Do I scare you Martin? MARTIN:  Yes…! PETER: Hm. Probably for the best.

(MAG117) MARTIN: I… I’m scared, I guess. No, wait– No! No, I mean– uh… Oh, I don’t want that to be my last message, the thing that defines me. “Martin Blackwood: he was always scared, then he died. The end.” I don’t want that. … But it’s true, isn’t it? I mean, if you’re right, if these things out there are eating our fears, then I’m a… a luxury smörgåsbord, I suppose. I’m just afraid all the time! I know, I know, I’m not gonna die, I’m not even going to be on the incredibly dangerous mission. Me and Melanie, well… Well, I don’t think “death” is really the worry, it’s just… [SIGH] It feels like an ending? Or… something. Like nothing can go back to normal after this. […] I need them to be safe. I need him to be okay. … So–sorry, hum. I–I’m not afraid for me, though. Isn’t that weird…? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be safe, like, my plan’s not dangerous but it’s… it’s mine? These last couple of years, I’ve always been... running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but… but now it’s my trap. And, well. I think it will work.

From Martin who was regularly presented as incompetent back in season 1 (to the point of surprising Jon when demonstrating otherwise during the worms crisis) and who was too honest for his own good when he met Peter, to Martin who is able to swim through the Fears politics, to ask good questions, to snap and squirm and get out of Simon’s grasp… He has learned to deal with the spooks quite efficiently, huh?

- In Jon’s tracks, Martin has been slowly moving forwards when it came to the Archival work. Pushed by Elias, he was the first one of the assistants to read statements aloud and “ritually” starting season 3, and, although he was aware that they were hard on him, he was the only one who kept reading them – Tim tried once and immediately gave up in MAG086; Melanie read two statements but stopped after MAG106’s (and, given her declaration that she would stop feeding The Eye in MAG150, she’s not planning to go back to it); Basira read one in MAG112 and never tried again (and her distaste of the tape recorders and her unwillingness to stay in the room while Jon is recording in season 4 seem to point out that she doesn’t plan on doing it again either).

(MAG084) MARTIN: [RAGGED BREATHING AS HE REGAINS HIS COMPOSURE] Well, I, er… I think that was okay. Er, yeah. To anyone listening, sorry about the change of tone. Jon, the, uh, Head Archivist is… absent, so I’ll be trying to fill in as best as I can. Um. Maybe Tim as well, if he… if he feels like it. It, it doesn’t matter, I suppose. Just as long as it gets done.

(MAG095) MARTIN: S–s–statement… done. [HEAVY BREATHING & TREMBLING AS MARTIN STEADIES HIMSELF] I don’t like recording these. There. I–I said it. I’m sorry whoever’s listening to this, I know it’s unprofessional, but they f… I don’t like it. I guess we’re past professionalism now. Probably. I don’t even know why I’m still doing them, since Jon’s back now.

(MAG098) MARTIN: I, um, I think I might need to sit down. Oh. Yeah, I am. Right. I don’t, uh, I’m not really sure if these are actually getting easier or harder. I mean I don’t feel–

(MAG108) MARTIN: Statement end. [LOW VOICE] That wasn’t so bad? [BREATHES] Hum, not sure there is anything to say about this one.

(Starting MAG108, it became easier for him: was it because it was a Lonely one, then a Web one? Was it because Jon told him he was okay with Martin continuing to read them in MAG102?)

I’m still eyeing the ways Jon is completing his own set of Fears through live-statements/nightmares/scars/encounters with direct manifestations of the Powers, but Martin, in his own way, has also been completing his own set of Fears through his written&live-statements:

* The Corruption (MAG084, Adrian Weiss) * The Buried (MAG088, Enrique MacMillan) * The Flesh (MAG090, Ross Davenport) * The Slaughter (MAG095, Luca Moretti) * The Dark (MAG098, Doctor Algernon Moss) * The Desolation (MAG100, Lynne Hammond’s (messy) live-statement) * The Stranger (MAG104, Tim Stocker’s live-statement) * The Lonely (MAG108, Adonis Biros) * The Web (MAG110, Alexia Crawley) * The Extinction (MAG134, Adelard Dekker; MAG144, Gary Boylan; MAG149, Judith O’Neill) * The Eye (MAG138, Robert Smirke; MAG142, Jess Tyrell’s live-statement/complaint) * The Vast (MAG151, Simon Fairchild’s live-statement)

He’s missing The End, The Hunt and The Spiral at the moment (although he experienced the latter when Tim and him were trapped in Michael’s corridor in MAG079-MAG080) but… he has already covered almost all of them…?

The previous time we had seen Martin (MAG149) highlighted that he was progressing with The Lonely, given how he disappeared on Georgie. Although Simon pointed out that Martin was fitting with his own conception of The Lonely in MAG151, we also got… clear indication that Martin is still very much aligned to Beholding:

(MAG151) MARTIN: Hm. [SILENCE] Who are you? No, no: who were you? SIMON: Originally? No one you would have heard of; no… great historical figure or atrocity-monger. I’ve been “Simon Fairchild” about, um… eighty or ninety years, maybe? […] Hm! No wonder I’m so sympathetic to The Lonely. You know: this really is a place for self-discovery, isn’t it? [CHUCKLE] “Statement ends”, I suppose! MARTIN: Uh… I’m sorry? SIMON: Oh! Nothing, just my own hubris. I should have known. When I came here, I said to myself: “Simon,” I said, “you’re going to answer this young man’s questions, but you’re not going to give The Watcher a statement. You’re better than that.” But it’s a hard one to resist, isn’t it? You get in the flow of talking about yourself, and it all just… tumbles out. MARTIN: Mm, does seem like it. SIMON: [CHUCKLING] And this has been fun! [INHALE] Now. [CHAIR SCRAPING] If we’re about done– MARTIN: We’re not. Sit back down. SIMON: Boooold~ [CHUCKLE] [CHAIR SCRAPING] I like it. MARTIN: You said you were here to answer my questions for Peter, but so far you’ve told me basically nothing of any use.

Martin’s shortness and impatience reminded me of Jon’s when he was trying to get answers from Jude Perry (MAG089: “You don’t even know what this is about, do you?” “So tell me!” “An Archivist pleading for knowledge. That, oh that is satisfying to see.” “Look, if you’re just… You’re just about my only lead, and if you’re… Just kill me, alright? If it’s so easy? If you’re not going to tell me anything worth my time.” “Now you’re sounding like an Archivist.”), but more importantly, it seems like Martin was used as a channel for the Institute to get Simon’s live-statement?

It’s certainly not going in-depths like Jon’s, but Simon still identified it as something he hadn’t been planning on giving and as, specifically, a statement. And that’s the third time something like this happens with Martin: he got Tim to tell him his story in MAG104, he managed to get Jess Tyrell’s complaint in MAG142 (although it was explicitly less complete than with Jon: “… And I start to tell him… everything. About the job, about the collapse, ab–about the hand… And more than I told you, even”). I’m guessing that it’s mostly thanks to the Institute’s effect, and I doubt that Martin could manage to get a statement outside like Jon did starting MAG089, but it has still happened thrice.

So. The Lonely got Martin, but he’s still very much Beholding? Peter’s goal relied on Martin becoming able to use two powers (MAG126: “The sort of power you’re going to need relies on your–” “Obedience.” “Isolation. It needs to be you, Martin. You’re the only one who could possibly balance between the two.”), and Simon confirmed that it required The Eye and The Lonely, so… Martin is getting there. Or is already there.

(- Obligatory Honorary Web-sounding Reminder (BECAUSE YES, I WON’T GIVE UP ON THAT EITHER AS LONG AS WE DON’T HOLLOW MARTIN OUT AND CONFIRM THAT HE’S NOT FULL OF SPIDERS) (… wait no, that’s a bad idea, no, don’t hollow Martin out, Jonny–) that:

(MAG138) MARTIN: … What? [HUFF] That’s it? No, no monologue, no mindgames? You love manipulating people! ELIAS: That makes two of us. MARTIN: [HUFF]

Which Martin masterfully demonstrated when he made Elias want to keep him at the Institute during The Unknowing, when he made Elias use his powers on him and lower his attention while Melanie was stealing stuff in his office, when he threw Elias in jail, and which Martin is demonstrating again by… finding loopholes in his agreement with Peter to still send information to the others. And Basira’s suspicion:

(MAG151) MARTIN: … I didn’t know Jon had listened to them already! BASIRA: Well, he has. He seems to think you’ll come to him when you need him. I think you’re feeding him what he needs to hear so he doesn’t bother you. MARTIN: Look, I don’t have time for this.

… sounded very very Web-y to me? So, is that paranoia or is that well-founded.

Also, it’s Aza’s pet-theory so, updating the list:

(MAG104) MARTIN: Elias seems to think that he’s the best chance that we have to stop them. TIM: And what? I’m supposed to just trust Elias now? MARTIN: Please. TIM: [EXHALE] Fine. Fine. I’ll tell him in person, when he gets back from… wherever it is that he’s vanished to.

(MAG118) MARTIN: Melanie. Melanie, please. MELANIE: … Alright. Let’s get these somewhere safe.

(MAG129) MARTIN: Stop. Stop, please, I–I shouldn’t know any of this, I… [PACKING UP] I–I–I really need to go, I–I’m… ARCHIVIST: Right. … right. MARTIN: Please, stop finding me.

(MAG142) MARTIN: Just… just tell me what happened. Hum, please. I–I won’t judge. [SILENCE] WOMAN: Alright.

(MAG151) MARTIN: Yeah… [PAUSE] Don’t… tell Jon. [SILENCE] Please. BASIRA: Fine.

… people’s tendency to do exactly what Martin Asked after he has said “Please”, although they were initially reluctant.

(Counterexamples: “just everyone please, make it back home…?” in MAG117 didn’t work, and neither did all his desperate “Please” to Jon in the season 4 trailer, but.))

- HEY MARTIN??

(MAG151) MARTIN: Look, I don’t have time for this. I–I don’t like that I have to work with Peter any more than you do, and I didn’t know that Simon was involved until today. But I would hope that you and Jon understood the importance of preventing an apocalypse.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU’RE SOUNDING LIKE ELIAS

(MAG102) ELIAS: I should have thought preventing the horrific transformation of our world is not solely my concern!

(MAG135) ELIAS: I rather feel the real shame would be letting the entire world fall into Darkness because of a single person’s wounded pride. Detective. The stakes are far too high for that kind of… indulgence.

BECAUSE YOU ARE.

- This season, we saw Jon fumbling around, and only getting “victories” through personal accomplishments: saving Melanie from the bullet, saving Daisy from the coffin – and even then, those were tainted with the reveal that they had been followed by Jon attacking people from their statements right after, to feed/heal/feel good. Whenever Jon tried to meddle with bigger spooks, it resulted in disaster: trying to Know Peter’s plan hurt him in MAG139 (and that’s probably why he was so “ravenous” against Jess Tyrell?); going to Norway made him encounter Floyd and take his statement; the journey didn’t even serve the expected purpose – sure, he destroyed the Dark Sun, but it wasn’t an active threat and the act was probably the origin of his current “hunger” (as Jon has since then mentioned multiple times having not fully recovered from it). Given how Elias made sure that Basira would leave Jon alone with the coffin because he wanted Jon to develop his powers, and then sent them to Norway (and then claimed that it had been a “miscalculation”), it’s more than likely that they’ve just… been playing his game all through this season. That, or Elias indeed didn’t have any plan and constantly improvised and only pretended to be in control. The end result is still: Jon managed to save both Melanie and Daisy from the spooks, but hurt (and is still hurting) five more people in the process – and we heard Jess Tyrell, Jon didn’t “just” plague them with a few bad dreams, he directly and personally shattered them and their lives.

In parallel, Martin has been cutting his own (lonely) path, is getting more personally involved with spooks, and might be becoming our “protagonist” of the season: getting the “big” picture, receiving the input of other avatars (Peter, Simon) about the Fears architecture and the way they work, getting involved in active and current threats… So, what will be the downside to his actions – who will he hurt, outside of himself…? What is Peter expecting regarding his “progress” if, at this point already, his presence is enough to get an old avatar to give his statement, and if he is able to disappear on someone as he did with Georgie, what more could he need? Is it to simply grow more powerful in the Lonely area? … Because, as we saw with all the avatars, Jon included: using powers or simply staying alive comes hand in hand with sacrificing people. Martin told Basira that his current actions were motivated by the idea that “no one else needs to get hurt”, and I’m really afraid that he hasn’t factored in the idea that no, if some power is required, it will be from other innocents. And I don’t trust Peter to not put Martin in front of that fact at the last moment, when he would have no time to duly consider whether to sacrifice people or let The Extinction emerge completely…?

(…………… That, or Peter already has leverage to crush Martin last minute? Timeline-wise, Martin began to work with Peter two months after his mother’s death but. I’m still a bit afraid that The Lonely may have been involved in that one, to further cut Martin off from anything or anyone…………………)

- One of our current new mysteries is the thing Peter is planning to use:

(MAG151) MARTIN: Is Peter attempting a ritual? SIMON: Not in the sense that you’re used to. Him and his family made their play a few years ago and they failed. I’m sure he’d like me to explain it, but I think he can do that one himself. […] As for his plan… [INHALE] I don’t know the details. But I believe there’s something in the Institute that he thinks can help his cause. MARTIN: … And he needs me to use it. SIMON: Presumably – from what he said, it must be “powerfully aligned to The Watcher”. If he wishes to use it, it would need someone already touched by The Eye. And if he wants to control that someone… MARTIN: They need to serve The Lonely.

That’s technically only confirming what Peter had said in MAG134 (and Elias confirmed in MAG138, regarding the part where he hadn’t been willing to help):

(MAG134) PETER: [BREATHES] I’m still working out some of the kinks. But I believe I have a plan. However, it requires this place, and it requires someone touched by The Beholding. Elias was, perhaps unsurprisingly, unwilling to help. MARTIN: And you thought that since I’m so lonely already, I’d be ideal. PETER: Yes! MARTIN: You see, the thing is, Peter, I’m still not all that keen on being part of any ritual you set up. You know, in fact, if I were to be blunt, I’d say that would be suicidally stupid. PETER: Martin… it’s going to be decades, if not centuries, before I get another chance to bring Forsaken into this world. Your last Archivist saw to that.

… except for the part where it’s presented as a “ritual”: Peter denied that it was one, or changed the subject to mention that it wasn’t The Lonely’s; Simon… is less categoric – it’s not The Lonely’s ritual, but it’s kind-of-a-ritual still, and it requires… something.

* The Watcher’s Crown? The way Robert Smirke had worded it, it sounded like a physical, tangible item (MAG138: “I warn you again that if you have any remaining ambitions to use our work, to try and wear The Watcher’s Crown, you must abandon them! Not simply for the sake of your own soul, but for that of the world!”).

* Barnabas Bennett’s bones? They’re technically a link between Beholding and The Lonely, Elias pointed out that they were in his office (“[Jonah Magnus] retrieved those bones sadly enough when the time came. Bones that you can still find in my office, if you know where to look.”, MAG092), and we haven’t heard anything more about them since.

* Jon himself…? As he has proven with the Dark Sun (and potentially Breekon): he can be lethal towards other powers, and The Hive had been very angry towards the Institute because of how the Eye was… weakening? it through its study (MAG032, Jane Prentiss: “You can see it and log it and note its every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.”). We’ve seen all through season 4 that Jon was affected by Martin’s absence – Martin has definitely grown to become a weak spot of his. But, aouch: if Martin was mostly meant to give Jon his Lonely scar, or to be used against Jon to stop The Extinction… it would be awfully nasty for Martin, who spent the last 8 months selling himself in the hope of protecting Basira&Melanie + now Jon (“… and Daisy I guess”). (Though: it would have required for Elias and/or Peter to know/guess that Jon’s weak spot would be Martin and… I have trouble picturing Elias going for it back in season 3 already? And from Peter, it would require taking into account the connections and affections of people; can he… even… do that…)

* The tunnels under the Institute? They’ve been thematically important since Jon&co discovered them at the end of season 1, they’re remnants of the Millbank prison (with the Panopticon sounding… very much like a Beholding project – maybe what powered the Institute in the first place? Was “the Fear/feeling of being watched” originally from the prisoners who couldn’t know when they were actually seen?), Robert Smirke was involved in their construction, even Jurgen Leitner (who had lived down there for years) wasn’t absolutely sure of the way they worked, Elias agreed to allow Jon to keep exploring them when he used… very Beholding-aligned arguments (“I need to know!”, MAG067); there is still the mystery of the “ring” of worms found by Tim and then Jon… and Martin was suspecting that Peter was mainly interested in them:

(MAG138) MARTIN: I don’t know what he’s talking about when he mentions Millbank. The old prison, I guess? Tim said the tunnels under the Institute were all that was left of it, but… Jon said he’d checked them pretty thoroughly. [SILENCE] [SIGH] I’m not the one who knows all about this stuff…! I wish– … No. No, it’s fine, I’m… fine, I… [EXHALE] I can do this. I don’t know what Peter’s planning, but my-my guess is that it might involve something below the Institute.

The tunnels have been… there, in season 4, too: it’s where Basira&Melanie took shelter, and Basira has been cautious about them (MAG125, Basira: “Got a camp bed at the other end, near the tunnels. I like to keep an eye on them.”); it’s where Jon and Basira operated on Melanie; judging from the sounds, it’s where Helen’s door has occasionally been (MAG131).

- Aaaaaaaaaand Martin is putting up his own death flags:

(MAG151) MARTIN: Look, I don’t have time for this. I–I don’t like that I have to work with Peter any more than you do, and I didn’t know that Simon was involved until today. But I would hope that you and Jon understood the importance of preventing an apocalypse. BASIRA: [SIGH] I guess I’m just a bit burned out on the end of the world. MARTIN: Yeah, well… that’s your problem. BASIRA: And if you really think this whole Extinction thing is it… why not come to us for help? MARTIN: I can’t. Peter’s the one with the plan, and… it needs me to be alone. […] I need to do this. For everyone. [SILENCE] BASIRA: You’re not expecting to come out of this, are you? MARTIN: … I’ll do what I have to. If I’m right… no one else needs to get hurt. [SILENCE] BASIRA: [SIGH] … Okay. You want to do whatever “grand sacrifice” you think is going to save everyone, go ahead. But you’d best be sure you’re not just playing their game. MARTIN: I know what I’m doing. BASIRA: We’ll see. [PAUSE] Don’t make me regret this. MARTIN: Yeah… [PAUSE] Don’t… tell Jon. [SILENCE] Please. BASIRA: Fine. I can’t promise you he won’t just know it, though.

… on the one hand: the fact that Martin is expecting it to happen, is getting ready to die… could mean that, precisely, it won’t happen, and he will come out of it somehow. On the other hand: Tim was spitting out his own death flags until the end (MAG116, MAG117, MAG118), was downright saying that he wasn’t expecting to come out of The Unknowing alive, even said that he wasn’t sure he wanted to survive it, and it didn’t prevent him from going out with a bang. On the third hand: it already happened with Tim, so rip Tim but Martin could be… different.

I have no idea. I think that for Martin, surviving while others die and/or surviving without having managed to achieve his goals is probably a worst outcome (meaning, more likely to happen) than sacrificing himself and reaching his objective in the process. He’s adopted the stance of sacrificing himself from a distance for a while: with his mother (she was refusing his visits), with Basira&Melanie (he accepted Peter’s deal to protect them and the Institute from external threats), plus now for Jon (he went to talk to Elias in MAG138, he has accepted to discuss with Daisy in MAG142, with Georgie in MAG149, now with Basira in MAG151… but Jon had been off-limits in MAG129). That, or… becoming something that would have hurt, or has to hurt innocents to survive.

(Does he even think that he matters for them? Basira had described to Jon that Martin had been in a very bad place after his mother’s death, and Elias had confronted him about the fact that she didn’t care about him two months prior. Begging Jon for help while he was in his coma in the trailer also didn’t result in anything; Martin had confirmation that he wouldn’t receive any help. But I… don’t think that Martin is aware of how much Jon has been impacted by his absence this season – would it make him reconsider/waver about the self-sacrificing bit…?)

- Basira agreed to not tell Jon but. She was the one staying behind with the tape at the end of the episode (Martin was the one to leave, while Basira was sighing).

The tape could disappear on its own but… so far… it means that it’s now in Basira’s possession. Would “giving the tape to Jon” count as “not telling him directly”.

- Currently: Jon is going cold turkey and still “hungry” and “weak”; Melanie is risking a slow death by Eye-deprivation, à la Tim in season 3 (his attempt to flee to Malaysia); Daisy has stopped Hunting as well (… although Jon’s “Daisy is… [PAUSE] [SIGH] Yeah. She’s managing.” from MAG148 makes me incredibly worried: was it to point out that their circumstances were different? Was it about a relapse that only Jon knows about? Was it about Daisy being actually slowly dying from the deprivation, like the people in MAG112?); Basira is deep into paranoia territory; and now, Martin… is going for a self-sacrifice.

That’s. Not a pretty picture right now, and the question goes back to “who will die first”.

(And I’m really not sure that Jon wouldn’t give up the “trusting Martin” trajectory and do something rash, if he learns about Martin’s plan to… not come back. Melanie already announced that she was ready to die: from Jon’s point of view, he’s been seeing the assistants disappear or going for their deaths. Sasha died because of the table that Jon wanted to keep. Screaming at Tim “I knew none of us might be coming back, and I’m not gonna let anyone get killed for nothing!” and “I am not losing you as well!!” (MAG118) still didn’t prevent Tim’s death. Martin is the last one of the original assistants and… so far, Martin’s plans had been based on the idea of everyone making it out alive at the end: imprisoning Elias was the way he had found to keep him away without risking to die with him. Right now, Jon&the others are apparently waiting for Martin to get on with his plan, but… probably on the assumption that Martin is planning to come back to them once he’s done. And it’s now officially not the case.)

MAG152’s title is a funny one considering that we’re bidding goodbye to the Kanto dex to head into the Johto region and it’s thus “the Chikorita episode” (the title is… quite fitting for Chikorita) /o/

I’d say End (nothing since Oliver; would Jon mention him in the post-statement…?), Corruption (so… unloved…) or Buried (… DIG/the tunnels?)? Or Lonely again?

[christas-museum]

The Child Manuela: Mädchen in Uniform book (new translation)

CHAPTER 5: XIII

For more parts (updates are irregular, up to several times a week), click #The Child Manuela translation

READ (external link)

[four-loose-screws]

Dorothea / Ferdinand A Support Translation

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations - Ko-fi

———————————

[フェルディナント]

おや、珍しいところで会ったな、ドロテア。

君は信仰に篤くなかった気がするが……▼

Ferdinand: Oh, it’s so rare to see you here, Dorothea. I didn’t think you were all that religious...

[ドロテア]

知ってたのねえ、フェルくん。

確かに私は、敬虔な信徒とは言えません。▼

貴族重視の不平等な社会を作った女神の

せいで、酷い目に遭ってきたんだから。▼

Dorothea: You guessed right, Ferdie. You certainly can’t call me a very devout follower. It’s all because of the unequal society favoring the nobles that the goddess created, that I’ve had such a hard life.

[フェルディナント]

神聖な大聖堂で主の悪口とは、

君は勇気があるにも程があるぞ、まったく。▼

しかし、酷い目とはいったい

何があったのだ？▼

Ferdinand: You are quite brave to speak ill of the goddess in a sacred cathedral...! But just what is this hard life you speak of?

[ドロテア]

うーん、貴��に教える必要ある？▼

ま、いいかしら。私が孤児だったのは、

どうせ知ってるでしょ？▼

貴族街の裏通りで施しを乞うたり、残飯を

漁ったりして飢えを凌ぐ毎日だった。▼

Dorothea: Hmmmm, do I really have to tell you? Oh well, it’s fine, I suppose. You at least know that I was an orphan, right? I begged for charity in the alleyways of a noble’s town, gathered scraps of food, and other such things, staving off starvation every day.

[フェルディナント]

やはりそうなのか……。

浮浪孤児、何度か見かけたが……。▼

Ferdinand: I had a feeling that was it… I happened to see orphaned children wandering around many times...

[ドロテア]

ふふっ、その後マヌエラ先輩に見出されて、

私は歌姫になったの。▼

歌姫の私に対する貴族たちの態度は、

それはそれは素晴らしいものだったわ。▼

私に唾を吐きかけた貴族たちが、

その口で私の歌と見目を褒めるの。▼

私を蹴り飛ばした貴族が、美しい

靴を私に贈るのよ。本当に滑稽だった。▼

Dorothea: Tee hee, after that, Manuela-sempai found me, and I became the Mystical Songstress. As the Mystical Songstress, the nobles treated me very well. Those who once spit on me, now spoke words of praise for my singing and looks. One noble who once kicked me, gifted me beautiful shoes. It was truly comical.

[フェルディナント]

……それで君は、貴族を嫌いになったのか。

だが……なぜ私を同類視した？▼

このフェルディナントが、

そのような男だと？▼

見た目に騙され、態度を翻すような……

貴族とも思えぬ輩と同じだと？▼

Ferdinand: ...And that is how you came to hate nobles? But… why do you view me as the same as them? Am I, Ferdinand, like those men? Am I the same as those nobles... who are deceived by appearances, and change their behavior accordingly?

[ドロテア]

ええ……？　違うと？ だって、私は覚えてます。▼

あれは、歌姫になることが決まった日……

私、浮かれてたわ。▼

少しでも汚れを落としておこうと、

街の噴水でこっそり水浴びして……▼

歌いながら、はしゃいでた。

そこに貴方が現れたのよ。▼

Dorothea: Eh...? You’re saying you’re different? I remember. On the day that it was decided that I would become the Mystical Songstress… I was so happy. Trying to wash at least a little of the dirt off me, I bathed secretly in the town water fountain… I sung and frollicked about. Then, you appeared there.

[フェルディナント]

わ、私が……！？

いや、まさか、それは……▼

Ferdinand: M-Me…?! No, could it be, that was...

[ドロテア]

やっぱり心当たりあるんでしょ。

貴方は、私を睨んで、すぐに走り去った。▼

次に学校で会った時には、貴方は別人の

ような笑顔で、私に話しかけてきた。▼

花に群がる、蜜蜂のようにね。

蕾の頃は見向きもしなかったくせに。▼

Dorothea: So my hunch was right, wasn’t it? You glared at me, and quickly ran away. The next time we met, at the academy, you were smiling as if you were a totally different person, and came up to talk to me. You were like a bee, that swarms to a flower. Even though you ignored me when I was still budding.

[フェルディナント]

……そうか、そうだったのか。

あの時の歌……君だったのだな。▼

ドロテア、聞いてくれ。

それは誤解だ。▼

私はあの時……

あの時、君に見とれていたんだ！▼

美しい声と、可憐な笑顔……陽光が水に

散りばめられ、水の精かと……。▼

Ferdinand: ...I see, so that’s what happened? That song… that was you singing it. Dorothea, listen. This is all a misunderstanding. At that time, I… I was captivated by you! Your beautiful voice, your cute smile… The sunlight glittered on the water, and I wondered if you were a water nymph...

[ドロテア]

う、うそ？▼

Dorothea: A-Are you lying?

[フェルディナント]

嘘じゃない。ただ、子供心に無性に

恥ずかしくて、逃げ出してしまった。▼

勇気を出して戻って来た時には、

もう誰もいなかった。夢だと思っていたよ。▼

Ferdinand: I’m not lying. I was still just a child, and very shy, so I ran away. When I mustered up the courage and came back, no one was there. I thought it was a dream.

[ドロテア]

………………。▼

……そうね、信じるわ。

お菓子を作ってた貴方を見て感じたの。▼

貴方は、私の嫌いな貴族とは違うって。

でも、なかなか受け入れられなくて……。▼

Dorothea: ……………… ...I see. I believe you. I felt it when I saw you make those sweets. That you are different from the nobles I hate. But I can’t accept it at all...

[フェルディナント]

いいんだ、誤解が解けたなら嬉しいよ。

それに私は、蜜蜂で構わない。▼

君という女王蜂のために飛び回る、

そういう役目も、素敵だと思うからね。▼

Ferdinand: That’s fine, since we’ve cleared up the misunderstanding, I’m happy. And I don’t mind it if I’m a bee. Flying around for a queen bee like you, is a role that I think is wonderful.

[ドロテア]

ふふふふ。なら、悪い虫がつかないように、

見張ってくれる？▼

Dorothea: Tee hee hee! Then, will you guard me, so that bad bugs can’t get close to me?

[crackimagines]

Flayn struggles to learn some basic dinner custom. Hilarity ensues.

Well hey, not often I see Flayn asks! This oughtta be fun!

Thanks for the ask anon, I hope you enjoy!

—–

Table Manners (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Upon learning Flayn has not the manners to eat properly at the dinner table, it is up to Mercedes, Annette, and Caspar to teach her how.

—–

Lunch hour

Caspar slammed his plate of food onto the table and immediately began stuffing his face. Lindhardt sighed in disappointment and disgust while Ferdinand facepalmed.

“I fail to comprehend why you stuff your face like a hog everytime we dine. At least show some manners!” Ferdinand said.

Caspar responded with his mouth full, and was barely able to translate into What? I’m hungry!

“Give it up Ferdinand. I have tried multiple times to tell this brute on how to eat properly!” Linhardt replied, shaking his head.

Mercedes and Annette sat across from them, their tables being filled with nothing but sweets.

All three of them did a double take, realizing that the sweets there was practically half the plates they saw from the counter.

“I-Is something wrong?” Annette asked them.

Caspar finally swallowed his food, and raised his eyebrow.

“Where’s the rest of your food? I know that sweets are important to the meal, but…”

“Oh, we simply wanted to treat ourselves! The chefs did not mind!” Mercedes said nodding. “And we made sure that no one else wanted anymore so we could-”

“Er, that’s not the issue here…” Ferdinand interjected. “Just looking at that is making my teeth rot.”

While they continued their conversation about basic manners and eating a balanced meal, they all saw Flayn walk in, pouting.

“Oh, it’s Flayn!” Annette said noticing her. “Have a seat!”

She sat down and sighed.

(Linhardt) “Is something wrong?”

(Flayn) “My brother said that I can’t get anymore sweets because of how I eat!”

(Mercedes) “Oh?”

(Flayn) “He says that I’m very rude at the dinner table! I don’t know what he means either! Now he asked the Professor to help me with it, and until then I’m prohibited from them!”

(Caspar) “Oh, I know! What if we help you, Flayn?”

Mercedes’ and Annette’s eyes lit up, while Linhardt and Ferdinand’s widened.

(Mercedes) “That’s a wonderful idea!”

(Annette) “I agree, we’ll help you out, Flayn! No one deserves to have sweets taken away from them!”

(Ferdinand) “…Linhardt?”

(Linhardt) “Yeah?”

(Ferdinand) “I think it’s time we use your signature technique when it comes to events that could lead to trouble.”

(Linhardt) “Ah, you now see the light! But, that’s a topic for another day, for you are right. Everyone, we are going to use my technique, and we wish you good luck on your endeavors!”

(Caspar) “Which is what?”

(Linhardt) “RUN AWAY.”

Ferdinand and Linhardt grabbed their plates and bolted away from the table.

(Caspar) “Tch, what a bunch of weirdos. Anyways Flayn, let’s help you out!”

Much Later, Byleth’s Classroom

Byleth sighed as he massaged his temple, not even knowing what to say.

(Byleth) “Alright, what did you guys do?”

(Annette) “W-What do you mean?”

(Byleth) “I was told by Ferdinand and Linhardt that you personally helped Flayn out, which while I appreciate the thought, was supposed to be my job.”

(Caspar) “Well, we thought to help her out! A child shouldn’t be denied sweets because of a mistake you can fix!”

(Mercedes) “And fixed it we did, Professor! Right?”

(Byleth) “…”

The two knights near the door began snickering, but immediately stopped as soon as Byleth glared daggers at them.

They awkwardly coughed and went back to standing still.

(Annette) “P-Professor?”

(Byleth) “Do you want to know how it went, children?”

——–

Flayn devoured her food so fast, one wouldn’t be faulted for thinking she inhaled her food and didn’t even chew. Seteth looked at her in horror, not because nothing was learned, it was because that was fish she practically inhaled. 

Manuela, Hanneman, and Byleth stared, eyes wide open as well.

Catherine was laughing her ass off, with Shamir pinching the ridge of her nose, knowing what was about to happen.

Jeralt and several other knights laughed, reminding themselves of their feasts as mercs, but quickly stopped once they saw Seteth’s face.

(Flayn) “Alright my dinner is finished in the cleanest way possible!”

She somehow pulled out several sweets of unknown origin, which made everyone concerned considering Seteth had instructed everyone that she was not to be given any sweets under any circumstances.

The one who said that she’d be taught better was none other than-

(Seteth) “BYLLEEEEEEEETTTTH!”

(Byleth) Sothis, can you-

(Sothis) Reverse time? Hah! No, this is far too entertaining to watch!

(Byleth) …Sometimes I REALLY hate you…

——–

(Annette) “…Oh.”

(Byleth) “You two gave her the sweets out of pity, right?”

(Mercedes) “Y-Yes…”

(Byleth) “And Caspar, you’re the one who told her to eat as fast as possible to avoid causing mistakes, right?”

(Caspar) “Yeah…”

(Byleth) “You all were-…No. It’s better to say that I was very lucky that the fish for her specifically was deboned. If her fish still had bones in it and she choked on it, I’m fairly sure Seteth would’ve choked the life out of me next.”

All three of them looked down, completely embarrassed that they had made so much trouble for their Professor.

(Byleth) “Know that this hurts me more than it hurts you. You three will stay after class for the next week after lectures and clean the classroom.”

(Mercedes Annette & Caspar) “Yes sir…”

[songcharme]

Another Long Ass Meta Time(tm):

I love how in Dorothea’s support with Sylvain, Dorothea calls Sylvain out for his attitude towards women, recognizing that his flirtatious tendencies are disingenuous and reveal a subtle hatred towards women, almost like its obvious to the discerning eye. But really, I can’t help but feel like this could also be a reflection of herself, (like hey, its fucked up how you treat these girls like their nothing yet you claim to love them, you’ve got some issues don’t you? Why aren’t you being honest with yourself? 

Just admit it: you hate them because you only view them as something that wants what you can offer but not the real you-- so you use them knowing it hurts them, and it hurts you in the end) like she also flirts with men with the purpose of finding a man to marry, leaning strictly towards noblemen or wealthy men because they hold financial stability and this translates to stability in living a comfortable life and while she claims to want to find an ideal partner, the men she dates never earns a second date (hm...........................almost like the list of traits she looks for in a man aren’t there.........almost like whenever she tries to date a man she’s immediately uninterested and inevitably disappointed.........hm............dunno lads, but Something about that doesn’t feel right...dang...can’t imagine why...). But Dorothea doesn’t pretend that her persute to marry into money is anything other than that, in face she never disguises her disgust with noblemen (I would reach out to say that she has own personal brand of hatred for men, which would mark her as a hypocrite but...y’know(tm) ) and in her various supports has made her distaste quite clear.

The parallel between Sylvain and Dorothea’s characters is so fascinating to me; like thinking about how in Part I, Dorothea establishes her intent to settle down with a man to marry while in the same breath denouncing Sylvain’s careless attitude in flitting from one woman to the next is hypocrisy, at least on the surface. She’s able to recognize he’s full of shit because its the same act she’s playing as well. No (sane, rational decidedly non-heterosexual) woman would want to marry any man they hated, and we’re not bringing politics in this sense Dorothea is a born commoner she’s free of the obligation of marrying for bringing stronger ties to her house. She’s blessed in that respect. But it doesn’t lessen her hatred any less, nor does it make it easier in dealing with her compulsive heterosexuality (more on that later).

Both of them have self-destructive tendencies when it comes to relationships: Sylvain’s carefree attitude is designed to disappoint people’s expectations over him because he finds it suffocating, while simultaneously seeking a true relationship that doesn’t stem from his bloodline or noble status. Meanwhile, Dorothea flirts and teases because that’s the tool she’s used to survive. In my last meta post I mentioned how she doesn’t know how to live her life, only to survive. Both of these characters have trauma that shaped them to cope in different ways, and it shapes their perception of the opposing gender, mostly in negative ways. 

(That’s not to say that they’re completely blameless. I feel like they are victims of the society’s failure to address certain structures regarding the classes & the crest system: meaning that if crests were removed from the equation, the suffering wrought upon them wouldn’t have happened. But that’s an entirely separate discussion that’s been debated into the ground countless times so I’ll leave this be.)

In Part II we see a drastic change in their attitude as not only a result of the war but in their development between them. With Dorothea its profound, her demeanor is somber from the battles fought and lives shes had to take in consequence to the path she chooses to walk along side the house she’s been recruited into. Here we see her as almost disinterested, almost abandoning the notion entirely (understandable because there’s no guarantee she’ll survive the next battle or even if she’ll live long enough to find someone to marry). 

The difference between Sylvain and Dorothea, I find at least, is that Sylvain actively avoids settling down to marry any woman (mostly noblewomen) because he is perceived as the gateway to his wealth & lineage. As much as he claims to ‘love’ women and how every woman he flirts with is the ‘love’ of his life, it’s a rehearsal composed to appeal to any girl (& boy) taken easily by his romanticism. While he never had an easy childhood and never wanted to be placed on a pillar that was afforded him because of his crest, he knows that eventually the woman he’s assigned to marry won’t love him genuinely for who he is, which in turn fosters resentment, and eventually hatred, towards women.

Dorothea, however, was cast out of her noble father’s home when her mother, a maid in waiting, bore a crestless child. Her mother would eventually fall ill and die, leaving Dorothea orphaned, homeless and destitute while struggling to survive. What saved her from the probably death she would have suffered was her gift of singing and natural beauty, which is polished through after she’s ‘cleaned’ of the filth that she carried while living on the streets. These natural attributes are the only thing that keep her off the streets, the same as Sylvain’s crest keeps him living a comfortable life. Unlike Sylvain, Dorothea worked hard to refine her beauty and singing ability to become a diva in a famous opera house, one that almost rivaled Manuela. She was able to establish connections and favors from nobles in order to become a student at the officers academy (before passing the entrance exam, check mate haters) while Sylvain likely gained entrance because of his family’s wealth, much like the rest of the nobles in Fodlan. 

Their class status and gender are all that separate them, otherwise they are similar in their circumstances and honestly they do have mutual respect for each other, after they have a conversation (or three) and recognize the suffering they endure and how its reflective of their own suffering.

[fireemblemtcg]

fecipher twitter, 25-9-2019:

The card lists for the Series 18 "Three Houses" starter deck and "Oratorio of Embarkation" booster pack have been published on the official site. #FEcipher ・Three Houses: https://fecipher.jp/cards_category/st0012/ ・Oratorio: https://fecipher.jp/cards_category/bt0018/

More Fire Emblem Cipher Series 18 translations!

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Starter Deck: Three Houses

S12-001ST(+) Byleth (F): The Creator's Entrusted (Mercenary) S12-002ST(+) Byleth (F): Young Mercenary Swordswoman (Commoner) S12-003ST Sothis: Girl Glimpsed in a Dream (Goddess) S12-004ST(+) Edelgard: Unshakable Will of Flames (Lord) S12-005ST(+) Dimitri: Noble Schooled in Pen and Sword (Lord) S12-006ST(+) Claude (Fódlan): Easygoing Schemer (Lord) S12-007ST Flayn: Monastery-Inhabiting Girl (Priest) B18-006ST(+) Edelgard: House Leader of the Black Eagles (Noble) B18-007ST Hubert: Officer Serving the Imperial Princess (Monk) B18-008ST Ferdinand: With Pride in His Great Noble Family (Paladin) B19-009ST Ferdinand: Lordling of House Aegir (Noble) B18-013ST Bernadetta: Reclusive Daughter of House Varley (Noble) B18-015ST Dorothea: Ex-Opera Company Songstress (Commoner) B18-020ST Dimitri: House Leader of the Blue Lions (Noble) B18-022ST Dedue: Intimidating Vassal (Commoner) B18-027ST Mercedes: Gentle-Auraed Holy Smile (Priest) B18-028ST Mercedes: Kind and Cheerful Schoolgirl (Commoner) B18-031ST Ingrid: The Hope of House Galatea (Noble) B18-034ST Claude (Fódlan): House Leader of the Golden Deer (Noble) B18-036ST Raphael: Youth With a Big Appetite (Commoner) B18-040ST Lysithea: Prodigy of House Ordelia (Noble) B18-043ST Hilda (Fódlan): Little Miss Pampersome (Brigand) B18-045ST Leonie: The Blade Breaker's Foremost Apprentice (Commoner)

Booster Pack: Oratorio of Embarkation

B18-001SR Byleth (M): He Who Bears the Flames Within (Hero) B18-002N Byleth (M): Ex-Mercenary Professor (Mercenary) B18-003HN Byleth (M): New Professor at the Officers Academy (Commoner) B18-004SR(+) Edelgard: Hegemony-Overthrowing Emperor (Armored Lord) B18-005N Edelgard: Uniter of the Black Eagles (Lord) B18-006HN Edelgard: House Leader of the Black Eagles (Noble) B18-007HN Hubert: Officer Serving the Imperial Princess (Monk) B18-008R Ferdinand: With Pride in His Great Noble Family (Paladin) B18-009N Ferdinand: Lordling of House Aegir (Noble) B18-010HN Caspar: Strength-Seeking Man of Righteousness (Brigand) B18-011N Caspar: Unruly Lad of House Bergliez (Noble) B18-012R Bernadetta: Expert at Seclusion (Archer) B18-013N Bernadetta: Reclusive Daughter of House Varley (Noble) B18-014R Dorothea: Captivating Mage (Mage) B18-015N Dorothea: Ex-Opera Company Songstress (Commoner) B18-016HN Petra: Foreign Hunting Princess (Thief) B18-017N Petra: Granddaughter of the King of Brigid (Commoner) B18-018SR(+) Dimitri: King of Vengeance and Delusion (High Lord) B18-019N Dimitri: Burden-Bearer of the Blue Lions (Lord) B18-020HN Dimitri: House Leader of the Blue Lions (Noble) B18-021HN Dedue: Grateful Armored Knight (Armored Knight) B18-022N Dedue: Intimidating Vassal (Commoner) B18-023R Felix: Blade Aiming High (Swordmaster) B18-024HN Felix: Strength-Seeking Swordsman (Mercenary) B18-025N Felix: Scion of House Fraldarius (Noble) B18-026N Ashe: Honest-Hearted Archer (Fighter) B18-027R Mercedes: Gentle-Auraed Holy Smile (Priest) B18-028N Mercedes: Kind and Cheerful Schoolgirl (Commoner) B18-029N Annette: Sunny Achiever (Noble) B18-030SR Ingrid: Aspiring Ideal Knight (Pegasus Knight) B18-031N Ingrid: The Hope of House Galatea (Noble) B18-032SR(+) Claude (Fódlan): The Master Tactician (Wyvern Master) B18-033N Claude (Fódlan): Rallier of the Golden Deer (Lord) B18-034HN Claude (Fódlan): House Leader of the Golden Deer (Noble) B18-035R Raphael: Cultivated Muscle (Brawler) B18-036N Raphael: Youth With a Big Appetite (Commoner) B18-037HN Ignatz: Beauty-Loving Archer (Archer) B18-038N Ignatz: Second Son of a Wealthy Merchant (Commoner) B18-039SR Lysithea: Little Wunderkind (Warlock) B18-040N Lysithea: Prodigy of House Ordelia (Noble) B18-041HN Marianne: Pious Maiden (Priest) B18-042N Marianne: Margrave Edmund's Foster Daughter (Noble) B18-043R Hilda (Fódlan): Little Miss Pampersome (Brigand) B18-044HN Leonie: Dreams of Being a Superlative Mercenary (Cavalier) B18-045N Leonie: The Blade Breaker's Foremost Apprentice (Commoner) B18-046HN Manuela: Beguiling Matron (Priest) B18-047HN Hanneman: Studious Crest Scholar (Mage) B18-048R Jeralt: Knight Dubbed the Blade Breaker (Paladin) B18-049HN Poe: Evil-Destroying Holy Lass (Priest) B18-050N Poe: Outlander of Flowers and Light (Noble)

B18-051SR Grima: Ruler of Despair (Fell Dragon) B18-052N Robin (F): Fell-Branded Tactician (Tactician) B18-053HN Chrom: Hope-Inheriting Exalted Sovereign (Great Lord) B18-054N Chrom: Exalt-Protecting Prince (Lord) B18-055N Lissa: Longs to Sleep in Her Bed at Home (Cleric) B18-056HN Panne: Proud Lady Rabbit (Taguel) B18-057N Panne: Indebted Beast Warrior (Taguel) B18-058R Gaius: A Reward for Shady Work (Assassin) B18-059N Gaius: Sweet-Toothed Thief (Thief) B18-060SR Cordelia: Prodigal Knight on Swooping Black Wings (Dark Flier) B18-061N Cordelia: Girl with Gods-Given Talent (Pegasus Knight) B18-062R Gregor: Dragon-Befriending Hero (Hero) B18-063N Gregor: Good-Natured Mercenary (Mercenary) B18-064R Nowi: Millennia-Enduring Child (Manakete) B18-065HN Libra: The Goddess Incarnate (War Monk) B18-066N Libra: Priest of the Ylissean Faith (Priest) B18-067SR(+) Tharja: Mistress of Curses (Sorcerer) B18-068N Tharja: Hexing from a Hiding Place (Dark Mage) B18-069N Henry: Empty Smile of the Dark Night (Dark Mage) B18-070HN Emmeryn: Kind Hope-Entrusting Exalt (Sage) B18-071HN Aversa: White Atoning One (Falcon Knight) B18-072R Kiria Kurono: Absolutely Cute!! (Mirage Master) B18-073H Kiria Kurono: Cool Top Artist (Top Artist) B18-074HN Tharja: Mirage Sorceress (Sorcerer) B18-075HN Alice: Dark Princess Striving to Be a Wise Ruler (Dark Knight)

B18-076SR Ephraim: Royal Heir to the Sacred Twin (Great Lord) B18-077N Ephraim: Brave Prince on a Mission (Lord) B18-078HN Franz: Faithful Paladin (Paladin) B18-079N Franz: Young Knight of Renais (Cavalier) B18-080N Gilliam: The Silent (Knight) B18-081R Tana: Skyfaring Wyvern Princess (Wyvern Knight) B18-082N Tana: Sororal Princess of Frelia (Pegasus Knight) B18-083HN Cormag: Spirited Dragon Fang (Wyvern Lord) B18-084N Cormag: Aloof Lanceman (Wyvern Rider) B18-085SR(+) L'Arachel: Emissary of Righteousness and Order (Valkyrie) B18-086N L'Arachel: Princess of Rausten (Troubadour) B18-087HN Ewan: Enthusiastic Student (Sage) B18-088N Ewan: Innocent Pupil (Pupil) B18-089SR(+) Marisa: Maiden Dubbed the Crimson Flash (Swordmaster) B18-090N Marisa: Masterful Swordswoman (Swordmaster) B18-091HN Marisa: Taciturn Mercenary (Myrmidon) B18-092HN Gerik: Almighty Mad Tiger (Hero) B18-093N Gerik: Desert Mercenary Warrior (Mercenary) B18-094R Tethys: Beloved Dancer (Dancer) B18-095R Innes: Strategic Bow Knight (Ranger) B18-096N Innes: Fraternal Prince of Frelia (Archer) B18-097HN Myrrh: Purehearted Dragon Girl (Manakete) B18-098HN Selena (Magvel): Faithful Fluourspar (Mage Knight) B18-099R Valter: Monstrous Moonstone (Wyvern Knight) B18-100HN Valjean: Future Ruler-Guarding Shield (General)

B18-101HR Lucina: To Change Fate (Great Lord) B18-102HR Eirika: Storm of Pure Kindness (Great Lord)