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sincerelyjxyy · 6 months

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Gold Rush - Thirteen

Invisible String - Gold Rush

Chapter Thirteen - That Scars and Scalds

Song Of The Chapter - Gold Rush by Taylor Swift

✧ just now, i felt like i wanted to be alone for a long time, in a folding chair on the lawn with all my private agonies, but then i saw you. — ada limon, the great blue heron of dunbar road ✧

Summary: Ensue the drama, because Midsummer's is finally upon us, and Josie and JJ's differences are rearing their ugly heads.

Preface: Any dialogue that is accompanied by ASL will be underlined and italicized unless stated otherwise. such as when I say Naomi is interpreting everything being said, I wouldn't need to then underline the dialogue. Also, there is only a second of weight shaming by a parent that quickly passes, but I warn you just incase! Also just wanted to say comments are ALWAYS welcome! Love you!

Word Count: 20.8k (SHE'S A BIG ONE Y'ALL)

Gold Rush Masterlist

THE SIGHT BEFORE JOSIE NEVER GOT EASIER TO DIGEST, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES SHE'D BEEN FACED WITH IT. Josie stood unmoving in her position at the threshold between her bathroom and the bedroom. She stared wide-eyed at the boy on the other side of the glass while he observed his surroundings outside.

Just the sight of him almost made Josie want to turn back into her bathroom and empty her stomach.

Even from her view across the room, she could easily spot the obvious wounds sprouting across his angelic face. His jaw was clenched tightly, grimy and bruised as it sat in place.

Josie rushed towards the window, shoving it open and reaching out for the distressed boy. But she was unable to her arm or any words out before JJ was tumbling into her room and wrapping his arms around her waist. Josie was quick to reciprocate the desperate embrace and wrap her arms around his shoulders, resting them against the top of his backpack.

JJ's hat fell from his head as he dropped his head into Josie's neck, not caring as it dropped onto the white rug under their feet. She could feel the sparse drops of tears already dampening her skin, and she sniffled to keep her own quickly growing ones at bay.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it, I couldn't. He was right there, right fucking there, but I was too chicken shit to do it. I just couldn't." He repeated his cries, voice cracking as he shook his head.

And Josie, however clueless she made be, could do nothing but comfortingly shush him and cradle the back of his head as he sobbed into her neck.

"It's okay, Jay, it's okay. I'm right here, you're okay. You're with me, you're okay."

The weight of his body slumped into hers was enough to strain the girl, and she could feel herself struggling to keep the both of them standing. So, she made the decision to move them back towards the foot of her bed.

Once the back of her knees hit the mattress, she sat down and pulled him down with her. But while she expected him to move to sit beside her, the distraught boy instead dropped to his knees between her legs and pushed his face into her stomach. Josie ran her hands through the locks on his head and leaned down to kiss it softly.

She willed herself to continue to keep her tears at bay as she listened to his broken voice.

"Jay, look at me. C'mon, hey." Josie softly commanded him, gently scratching over his scalp to garner his attention.

JJ shook his head, denying her the right to check his injuries and face his puffy eyes as he gathered himself. Josie knew that there was a part of him that always felt embarrassed for coming to her like this, but she'd be damned if she did anything to validate it.

"JayJ." She pushed his head back, before sliding down the bed to meet him on the floor.

With her new position, JJ moved to sit to the right of her, their backs both pressed against her bed. He leaned his head back against the mattress, his jaw locked and eyes tightly shut.

And because of this, Josie was able to finally get a good look at the left side of his face. She couldn't help the tiny gasp that left her mouth when she surveyed her best friend's face, blood running cold as brief glimpses of what might've happened raced through her thoughts.

She reached out towards his face gently, and she refrained from being offended when he tilted his head away from her touch.

The cut on his lip from the kook fight had been reopened, and it had grown to spread to the corner of his mouth. He sported new cuts on his left cheek and brow bone, the blood painting down the cheek no doubt from a hand running over it. The entire left side of his face, around his mouth and jaw and up his cheek and temple, sported nastily formed purple and green bruising.

It made Josie physically ill once again, and she composed herself before any words could come out coherently.

"I'm gonna go get the first aid kit, 'kay?"

She suddenly realized that when she'd moved down from the bed, JJ had taken hold of her right hand and hadn't eased up his grip since. She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb, and she watched as he said nothing and refused to look at her.

"I'll be right back," she mumbled assuredly. Without another word, she was able to remove his hand and stand to make her way into the bathroom.

She was digging through the medicine cabinet when the adjoining door to the bathroom opened, and Josie hissed out a curse as Naomi made her way into the bathroom. Josie smiled as she tried to inconspicuously search for the kit, avoiding the questioning glance her sister sent her.

"What're you doing?"

The younger girl glanced up at the cabinet Josie rustled through, as the redhead grew frustrated at the lack of the medicinal box.

"Looking for the first aid kit, have you seen it?" The older teen tried to keep her sister's attention away from prying into her bedroom, where she could probably catch the top of JJ's head at the foot of her bed if she looked hard enough.

"What do you need the first aid kit for?" Josie glared at her suspicious tone, and she shrugged as her sister defiantly crossed her arms.

"Do you know where it is or not?"

"Not sure. Maybe you misplaced it the last time you had to bring it back from one of your delinquent excursions. Y'know, 'cause you like hanging out with those people," Naomi carelessly offered as her eyes flickered around the bathroom.

Josie scoffed as her sister quoted a favorite phrase of their mother's, and she moved down to shuffle through the cabinet below the sink.

"Hah!" Josie cheered as she found it behind the pipe, pulling it out and standing up. But her expression changed once she registered her sister's remark, and she turned to glare at the girl.

"Those people? Aren't you all about eat-the-rich?"

Josie was all for the idea that the top one percent should be required to ethically contribute, but it seemed a bit hypocritical for her sister to also be shaming people of less economic standing.

"Oh please, I don't hate your friends because they're poor." She moved to grab her eyeliner from where she'd previously left it on the sink. She blankly stared at the redhead, tilting her head to emphasize her point.

"I hate them because they're annoying and offer nothing other than smoking weed and stealing shit. I mean, JJ literally shot a gun in a crowded place; your friend's kind of psycho."

Josie furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head, ready to jump to JJ's defense, but her sister was already turning back into her room and shutting the door behind her. The older girl scoffed at the teen, but she also couldn't help but let Naomi's words sink into her brain.

It had always fascinated Josie how fast her little sister had grown up. It felt like in the span of a few months, Naomi Grey had gone from running around in her overalls and playing with bugs to going out by herself and telling everyone everything she hated about them.

Of course, she was still a thirteen-year-old, and had her own faults and times where she showed her age. And Josie couldn't help but point at this young naivety- which only saw the world as black and white- when she contemplated about why her sister would assume so little of people she didn't know.

It was something Josie also continuously struggled with.

She shifted the box in between her hands, before turning to reenter her room and shut the bathroom door behind her. She walked around her bed, and she sat on the ground beside JJ.

It seemed like he hadn't moved an inch since she'd left him.

The only thing that did move were his eyes, which scanned the room as he took in everything that had changed in the four years he hadn't been in it.

The walls were still that shade of crepe pink, and she still had displays of her Taylor albums up on her wall. But recent pictures of the pogues littered the walls, as opposed to the ones of young teens cheesing on the middle school playground. Framed pictures of Josie and her friends, as well as influential women throughout history, littered the surfaces through her room. Books from history and fake plants spoke a thousand words about Josie's life to any everyday observer.

There was a particular picture on her desk in front of the duo that Josie could see JJ's focus returning to. She had half a mind to stand up and place the picture face down on the wood once she caught the resentful look he sent the photo.

The picture sat in a beautifully golden, ornate old frame- decorated with artistic depictions of baby angels and flowers. The photo itself was of Josie and her family- her mother, Lily, and Naomi. It had been taken during their annual Christmas break Trip the year prior; one where they'd traveled to Rio De Janeiro for two weeks.

The four of them stood in front of Cristo Redentor, arms wrapped around each other and smiles wide. Josie remembered the moments fondly; at least the parts that didn't contain her overwhelming panic about how high up on the Corcovado Mountain they were. She'd very giddily spent a few minutes teaching their tour guide how to operate her camera, before racing to find the perfect looking spot. When they'd all posed for the photo, the two youngest in the middle, Naomi had vocalized, and signed, something about the irony of it when none of them were religious.

She'd earned hearty laughs from all of them, the beautiful Brazilian sun contributing to their pearly smiles and crinkled eyes. Her mother had squeezed Josie's side through her laugh, leaning in to almost press her temple to Josie's cheek in her laugh. Naomi grinned widely, obviously proud of her joke. And Lily had thrown her head back in a boisterous laugh, dark brown hair slightly blowing in the wind behind her.

Josie grinned down at the front of her feet, not wanting to stare out too long at their viewpoint, and leaned a bit in her mother's direction as she basked in the moment of womanhood joy. It'd been such a special moment for Josie- being that she almost never felt that close with most of her family.

It'd quickly become one of her favorite pictures, hence why she'd framed it on her desk. But she couldn't for the life of her figure out why it would draw JJ's attention as much as it seemed to be.

She glanced back at him, and she watched his stone expression take in the plethora of other things in her room. She withheld from asking him if he was okay, as she already knew the answer, and instead opted to place the kit on the ground and open it.

She removed some alcohol wipes and ripped open the package, before she gently reached up to grab his jaw. Tilting his face towards her, she started the process of wiping the smeared blood and dirt from his features.

The blond stayed silent throughout all of it, and Josie calmed herself with the sound of his low breaths. It was so silent she swore she could hear her heart cracking as she reminisced on how she'd been a cause for the pain he was feeling. She'd been the one to tell him her idea, and she'd been the one who refused to let him go when his father had commanded him.

She couldn't help the guilt that encompassed her as she thought about causing his hurt.

He barely winced when she rubbed the cream onto his cuts, and Josie immediately pulled back in fear that she'd hurt him. But he said nothing, keeping his words to a minimum as he leaned stoned once again.

No matter how much she went through this process, it was always a shock to not hear his voice for an extended period of time.

There were so many questions she had bouncing around her head, which wasn't unusual. But most of them were also questions she knew she'd never want the answer to.

How did it happen? What all did his dad do? How long did it last for? Did he come straight here? What was he thinking about? Why didn't he leave with her?

She felt as an uncomfortableness slowly began to radiate from JJ, only growing as she started to apply the bandage strips to his cuts. It was a foreign feeling, even if Josie could recognize it, and the teen quickly considered what the best way to ease the feeling away was.

"Let's go outside, get some fresh air."

She closed the med-kit, lifting to her feet and setting in on her bed. She offered her hand down towards the boy, but he ignored it as he got to his feet himself. She kept it out for him to clasp, but he avoided it by stuffing his hands into his pockets instead.

Josie tried to shake off the wounded feeling that bubbled in her chest at his rejection and wiped her hand off on her shorts. She leaned over her desk to open the window, when JJ's dejected voice finally drifted through her room.

"Why d'you have John B's bag?"

Josie furrowed her eyebrows as she finished opening the window, and she spun around to face the boy who had moved to stand by her bed. He'd also placed his hat back on his head.

He held up their friend's familiar camo backpack in his hands, and Josie huffed in realization and a bit of annoyance. Of course, John B had to be so air-headed that he forgot his bag in her bedroom, there for someone like her mother to easily spot had it not been on the other side of her bed.

"Oh, he was actually here right before you were. You missed him by like fifteen minutes." Josie shrugged, walking towards him to take the bag from his hands and throw it over her shoulder.

He let her do so with no resistance, simply watching as she directed her head towards the window.

"C'mon."

She let him climb over her desk and out the window, and she handed him the bag once he situated himself on the roof. "Meet me outside the gate."

JJ nodded soundlessly, and he turned to make his way down as Josie shut the glass behind him.

She rushed out of her bedroom and down the stairs, not bothering to search for the other parties of her household as she raced through the foyer. "I'm going out for some air! Be back in a bit!"

She briskly exited the front door and made her way down the steps and through the yard, practically sprinting through the front entrance.

And surprisingly, JJ had already found his way down as he leaned against the dark fence that surrounded the yard. John B's backpack hung from his hands, his own still hanging from his back.

She took the bag from his hands, smiling at his otherwise blank expression. But he seemed to be a bit more at ease now that they were out of her house. "Walk with me?"

He said nothing, but followed as she began her journey down the sidewalk.

After walking a short distance, JJ veered off to lead them into a small, wooded portion of the surrounding area, and Josie instantly noticed his dirt bike leaning against one of the trees near a walking trail.

"So..." Josie drawled as she peeked up at the boy walking to her right. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

"Y'know what happened." JJ shrugged, cargo shorts rustling as he stopped by his bike to set his backpack down on the seat. He removed his hat and ran his hands through his hair, causing Josie to pause and really take him in.

It was the first time since they'd reunited that Josie discerned he was actually freaking out.

"JJ, what did you mean when you said you couldn't do it? What couldn't you do?" Josie was hesitant and soft as she questioned the boy, and she immediately wanted to take it back when his shoulders tensed.

But she couldn't ignore the growing concern that filled her body, so desperately wanting to know and cure his troubles. She reflected back to the crack and shake of his voice when he'd come barreling through her window. The tears and red eyes he'd sported as he cried into her neck.

"I-" He paused, moving to look around in ambivalence.

He ran a hand over his blonde locks once again, huffing out as if he didn't want to admit whatever it was to Josie. Or as if he was ashamed he couldn't do whatever it was.

Josie couldn't tell which one it was.

She also didn't know if he was hesitant for her sake, or for his own. Either way, she approached him slowly. "JJ..."

"I was right there." He spoke through clenched teeth and a hard voice, staring out at the ground as he pointed at it bitterly. "I was right there, and I had the gun. And I was gonna do it. He was asleep, Jose, and all I wanted to do was put the goddamn bullet right between his eyes."

Josie's hand covered her mouth as it felt open, and she clutched her chest with the other as she registered what her best friend had admitted to her. Her heart filled with unfiltered sorrow for the boy right in front of her. Not only had he gone through the physical pain his father bestowed upon him, but the mental pain of loving him in spite of it.

"But I didn't." He let his hand fall to his side, tongue running over his teeth, His harsh stare never left the ground, and Josie knew he was replaying the scene over and over in his head.

"But it's not like you'd care, right? I mean, you probably think I'm a pussy for not shooting him, right?" His accusing voice was like whiplash, and it sent Josie rearing backwards in shock. She shook her head and stared at him in bewilderment, silently commanding him to meet her gaze.

But he never did.

"Are you serious right now?" She was getting a sense of Déjà vu, and she couldn't help the irritation that grew as she was brought back to how he'd treated her the morning before Pope's kook encounter. The accusation in her tone was crystal clear as she questioned him.

He'd never been mean to her after she'd cleaned him up, after she treated him with such gentle and kind hands. Quiet, maybe. Reserved, absolutely. There were even a few times where he'd left without any words to her, letting her willow him her own thoughts that would always remain unanswered.

But he'd never been so blatantly and outrightly cold towards her.

"C'mon, Josie. We both know how you feel about him. You probably hoped that I'd taken the gun and shot him when we found it."

Josie scoffed in indignance, crossing her arms over her chest as she marinated in his words. Was that really who he thought she was?

The boy refused to glance at her as he wandered over to lean against a tree, running his hands through his hair. But Josie practically nipped at his heels, following after him with heavy footfalls.

"Okay, I understand that you've just been through hell, so I'll give you a pass. But you're being an absolute jackass right now, Maybank." Josie locked her own jaw, and she chewed on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from shouting at him. It wouldn't resolve anything to get loud.

"I mean, yes, okay? We're all aware of how much I loathe Luke, and that it's something I'm never going to apologize for. But JJ," Josie stepped closer to where he leaned against the tree. "He's your father. And as much as I hate him, I know that someone in there, you love him. So no, I wouldn't ever expect you to be able to freakin' kill him."

But regardless of her assurance, JJ still shook his head. "You don't get it, Jo."

She flailed her arms up exasperatedly, shrugging in confusion. "Get what, JJ? The difficult relationship with your dad? Trust me, I get it. I get better than anyone." She scrutinized him matter-of-factly, flashes of her own childhood racing across her vision.

"You know I get it better than anyone! My dad hates my guts simply because I look like my mom, and my mom is the catalyst for every bad feeling I've ever had about myself! I know what it's like to loathe your parents and love them at the same time!"

"This isn't just about my dad, Jo! This is about me and how absolutely fucked I am! There's no gold! I'm on the hook for thirty grand, thirty! And those smugglers...Jesus." He finally peered up at Josie, gaze serious.

"Those smugglers that almost killed us? They were murked, slashed like some Freddy Krueger type shit. We're all fucked, and I can't do something as simple as putting a bullet through the head of the guy who did this?" He motioned towards the cut on his face.

As he shouted at her, Josie clutched at her stomach, feeling nauseous and trying to calm her breathing as she took in what he had claimed he knew about the people who'd shot at them in the boat. Dead. But not just dead, murdered.

Her head was spinning, thoughts and words flying across her vision as she tried to organize everything and process it accordingly. She could feel her temples pulsing with a headache as she swallowed the words JJ threw at her.

"JJ-" She watched as he pushed past her and made his way back towards his bike. He pulled his hat back over his dirty blond locks and threw his backpack over his shoulders, before climbing over it. He beckoned her with his head towards the empty area of the seat behind him.

"C'mon, we're gonna go find John B, and we're gonna get outta this place."

Josie looked at him perplexed, furrowing her eyebrows as she observed the fast pace this was accelerating towards. "And where exactly are you planning to go?"

JJ sighed as if the question was a nuisance, and Josie's heart stung a bit. "I don't know, Yucatan maybe."

Josie stared at him with wide eyes, and she scoffed incredulously at the boy's impulsive proposition. She ignored the expectant gaze he directed towards her and waved her hands around at their surroundings.

"You can't go to Yucatan, JJ. Are you insane? I mean, I get that it's a you thing, but come on. This is a new level of recklessness and impulsivity that is just unnecessary! We can figure this out, without you fleeing off to Mexico!"

JJ scoffed at the notion that his idea wasn't the only acceptable option, breaking away from her eyes and focusing down on the handles of his bike. Josie waited as she stared at him, and she silently hoped that he would smile and tell her he was kidding. That he wasn't actually considering running off to God-knows-where.

"We can go, Jo. We can live on the beach, catch our own food. It's perfect, and it's far away enough that we won't have to deal with any of this." He shrugged, and he spoke as if it was the simplest explanation he could provide.

"What about Pope and Kie? Huh?" Josie sternly asked, hands falling to her hips.

She took notice of the way his form bristled when she mentioned Pope, his gaze firm as a roll of irritation wafted from him and towards her. But despite his vexed feelings, he still answered her.

"They can take care of themselves. Pope's got the college thing, he's a big boy." JJ assured, and Josie huffed out in incredulity. "Kie's got her kook family, she'll be fine. They can come down and visit."

Josie couldn't help but wonder if he was actually hearing himself or if he was just speaking out of his ass.

She ran her tongue over her bottom gum, and took the boy in. His previously white shirt had been darkened severely from the dirt and sweat that had taken it over. And even though he seemed outwardly calmer than when he'd arrived, she could see the frenzy behind his eyes. The panic that came from the bloodline of someone from a long line of runners.

"What about me?" Josie solemnly asked. "I've got my kook family and have the college thing."

His shoulders tensed all the way up to his ears, and Josie watched as his hands gripped the handles of the bike so tight, they began to turn white. He took a moment to himself, before he shook away whatever notions were bouncing around his head. His jaw set as he turned to look over at her.

"Are you coming with me to John B's or what?"

"Midsummer's is only a couple of hours from now, JJ." She realized how bad that sounded, especially in the case of the boy in front of her. But the aggrievement that consumed her fought to rear its ugly head as her best friend basically commanded her to follow him.

She knew she'd follow him to the ends of the Earth, that she was sure of. But she didn't know if she could accept or be appreciative of the way he was expectant of it, like he was almost entitled to it.

JJ let out an ironic laugh through his nose, nodding as he cast his gaze back to the front of the bike. "Right. Can't say I'm surprised."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Josie loudly snapped, her jaw dropping as she gaped at the boy before her. She couldn't believe he was making her feel bad when all she wanted to do in the first place was offer him support.

"It means exactly what you think it does!" He retorted back in a matching tone, and he removed himself from the bike to face her fully. She glared up at him as he did so.

She could feel heat creeping up her neck and into her ears. Her lungs clenched, and the top of her spine felt tense as anger filled her entire body.

"I mean, think about it Jose, or Josephine, or whatever." JJ voiced her full name with so much malice that she had to take a step away from him.

"You were getting ready for your little extravagant party, when a poor lowlife from the Cut had to sneak into your window. And then you have to hide it from your sister, because God-forbid she finds out about the annoying psycho pogue with nothing to offer hiding out in your room- yeah, I heard that shit." He reminded Josie of the conversation she'd had with her sister in the bathroom, and her heart dreadfully skipped a beat.

She could only helplessly stare at him as he continued.

"You wanna know the difference between you and Kie? She may only have her kook family, but you?" He shook his head as he stared down at her.

"You'll always be a kook. With your big house, and your entitlement, and fancy trips, and thinkin' that you're better than all of us from the Cut. Your whole family are kooks, your first kiss was Rafe fuckin' Cameron, and your ex-boyfriend is just as bad as the rest of them."

His chest heaved as he stared at her, and it was almost as if he was looking through her. "Let's face it, Jose, you're not a pogue. You were born a kook, and you'll always be a kook. So stop lyin' to me, and stop lyin' to yourself."

He pulled John B's bag from her shoulder and turned away from the stunned girl. She was certain the whole island could hear the sound of her heart shattering against the ground, her biggest fears and insecurities being thrown in her face like a list labeled All of The Things You Were Right About.

She could feel the tears building in her waterline, she could see the cloudiness of her vision as they obscured her eyes. She could feel her chest contracting and then struggling for the air it needed.

It felt like someone had just pushed her into a vat of ice water, and her whole body was succumbing to hypothermia as she watched the sun that could warm her set over the horizon.

"JJ..." Josie's voice cracked as she took a baby step towards him, but he was already climbing back over his bike. He pulled John B's backpack on over his chest, carrying both bags since Josie would not be accompanying him.

"Accept it, Jose. Deep down, we both know where you're gonna end up. Better to just rip the Band-Aid off right now." His tone resembled stone as he revved the bike up, letting up the kickstand from its position on the ground.

"Enjoy your party."

Josie couldn't respond to the sarcastically spat comment before the blond was taking off on the bike. He left her in a cloud of dirt and silence as she watched him leave- seemingly for good. She had to clutch her chest, the loud thumping of the organ behind it threatening to break free from her chest.

No. There was no way that was it. He couldn't just leave her like that, he wouldn't. That wasn't how their almost nine-year friendship would end.

It was like her breath had been stolen from her, and she grabbed at her throat as she gasped for air. She felt light-headed, like someone had knocked her on the back of the head with a cinder block.

It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real.

She pinched her arm, gripping the skin tightly as she tried to wake herself from the nightmare happening in front of her. When that didn't work, she looked down to count her fingers. And when she counted to ten, she let it sink in that it was real.

The cry that escaped her mouth at the realization was watery and broken. She slapped her hand over her mouth to conceal it from the birds singing beautiful songs in the trees. If she couldn't protect herself from the pain, could she protect them from witnessing it?

The tears freely fell over the hand on her face as she backed into the tree, the same tree he had leaned against, and leaned her head back as the sobs came out continuously. She let herself slide down the tree, bark scraping into her shirt and back as she fell to the ground.

Her heart hurt.

That was the only thing she could think about. How her heart hurt so bad that it stopped all of the other functions of her body from working properly. But it was more than just pain.

She didn't know if there was any other word to describe the insufferable feeling simmering in her soul, but there had to be. She couldn't have been the only person to have ever felt that agonizing heartbreak.

She'd essentially lost her best friend. Her person. She'd watched him walk away from her two times that day; one time to his doom and one time to hers.

Did it not break him as much as it broke her? For him to say those things to her and then say goodbye. If he really did plan to go off to wherever with John B, she probably wouldn't ever see him again.

And even if he didn't; those things that he'd said? The things that he'd thought of her? It was clear he'd never want to be around her again. And Josie couldn't help the part of her that reciprocated the sentiment.

Because how dare he say those things to her? She spent more than half of their lives right by his side, so how could he look at her and spit those things at her in confidence?

Sure, she wasn't born on the Cut. But she'd spent so much time on that side of the island that she knew it like the back of her own hand. The Chateau sometimes felt like home more than her own house did.

Sure, she wasn't financially disparaged and didn't know what it was like living paycheck-to-paycheck. But she'd spent days and nights helping those who did make sure that they were able to feed their families and keep their businesses afloat.

The pogues were her family, her chosen family. The people who she wasn't expected to love, but who she chose to love in spite of everything else. These were the people she was sure would be there for her future children's births, and who would sit with her outside on old rocking chairs when their hair began to gray.

So how dare he say she wasn't a pogue, when she'd made the decision to become one the moment he gave her that stupid pink crayon.

She swiped at the tears falling down her cheeks, a mixture of both anger and anguish as she moved to run her hands over the back of her neck. She couldn't grasp what her day had become, and she thought back to that morning when she assumed the worst thing that could happen next was John B not answering their texts.

She tucked her knees up into her chest, and she let her head fall into them in an effort to feel something against her face. She let her tears dampen the skin of her legs and wrapped her arms around them, as if to hold herself together.

She couldn't let herself fall apart more than she already had.

The freeze she'd previously felt when he'd bit at her and left began to run hot, a raging heat that had Josie afraid she would pass out from heat exposure. It seared her mouth so much that Josie had to spit out a few times into the dirt.

And she silently pleaded for the melting hole in her chest to sew itself back up.

The sound of crunching leaves made Josie's head shoot up from its position. Snot and tears mixed on her face, but she couldn't find the embarrassment she should've held as she noticed her little sister approaching.

"What the fuck?"

Naomi stared at her sister wide-eyed, and she paused mid-step as she finally seemed to find whatever she'd been looking for. And despite the disgusted and confused tone in her question, she swiftly and wordlessly advanced towards her sister at the sight of distress.

Naomi planted herself down on Josie's right and wrapped her arms around the older girl's shoulders. And just like that, the pain consumed Josie again as she embraced her sister and cried into her shoulder. She audibly let all of her hurt escape her once again, this time cradled by the gentle hands of the unscathed.

Josie's entire body shook in anguish, and Naomi stayed silent as she let her sister do whatever she needed. And it was enough for the both of them to just be there.

Once Josie was able to compose herself, she pulled away from the younger Grey girl. And despite how much she cringed at it, the redhead lifted the bottom of her shirt to wipe the mess on her face.

Naomi grimaced at the sight, a slight eugh leaving her slips.

"What are you even doing out here?" Josie hiccupped as she sat up and leaned back against the tree. The response she received was a hand wave of their surroundings.

"Mom's looking for you, she said you went out for fresh air or something." She paused and gestured at Josie's face. "I just followed the sounds of a dying cat." She mimicked an abysmal impression of Josie crying to sound exactly as she described.

"Asshole," Josie muttered through a sniffle as she pushed her sister's shoulder. "Aren't you gonna ask what happened?"

"Nah, don't really care."

Naomi stood, holding a hand out towards her sister to help her up. Once they were both on their feet, she shrugged and sported what Josie was sure the teen assumed was an apologetic look. "No offense."

"None taken." Josie waved her off, wiping her hands across her face and then on her shorts.

Without another word, Naomi moved to walk back towards the house, and Josie stumbled to walk beside her.

There was silence all the way to the gate, when Naomi stopped and turned to Josie. "Can I, as the obviously more intelligent one between us two, offer you some advice?"

Josie raised an eyebrow in amusement but directed her to continue.

"No one should ever be able to get that sort of reaction out of you unless they're, like, dead or something. Like I said, I don't care what happened, but I do care about you being depressed. Because you can't do the dishes when you're depressed." Josie chuckled, impressed with how much emotion her sister seemed to be displaying.

A welcomed difference.

Because regardless of what stance Naomi maintained, Josie could read in between the lines. And she could see that deep down, Naomi only wanted to look out for her older sister.

"So, try not to act like Bella Swan, okay? 'Cause that back there was pretty bad." She once again obnoxiously mimicked her sister crying, and Josie rolled her eyes as swatted at the younger girl.

Naomi hit back at her hand, scoffing unamused.

They both made their way through the gate and up the front steps, when Naomi suddenly turned and reached up towards Josie's head. The redhead flinched away, but the younger girl simply pulled a leaf and a piece of bark from her hair and flung it somewhere on the front porch.

"You might want to straighten that one more time."

Josie nodded as the younger girl opened the front door, and the duo was immediately greeted by a frantic- yet very well dressed- Petunia Shoupe.

Their mother donned a beautiful emerald green, silk waterfall dress. There was an asymmetric cascading side panel attached to the left sleeve, with a scooped neck and folded draped neckline. The self-belt was tied neatly around her petite waist.

The entire dress was complemented by the silver diamonds that hung around her neck and from her ears.

She radiated fierce beauty.

And as the woman caught sight of her daughters, she almost screeched in distress. Because while she looked like that, her middle daughter stood in the threshold of their home in her day clothes; no makeup, puffy red eyes, and distressed hair.

"Josephine Margaret Grey, what on God's green earth have you been doing?" Their mother stomped towards the both of them, and Naomi rapidly ducked away from the stairs. Josie was subsequently left on her own.

"Mom, I-"

"No, we don't have time for excuses." She searched the foyer for the wall clock, and her eyes widened when she processed what it read. "You need to be ready, now. Come on, I'll touch up the hair and you'll do the makeup. Since you can't seem to do something as simple as getting ready on time."

Josie let her mother grab her by the elbow and drag her up the stairs and to her bedroom. She willed herself not to cry again as she thought about the last time she'd walked down the same stairs only minutes prior.

When she still had her best friend.

Naomi's statement about not letting people emotionally control her rang out repeatedly in her head, especially when Petunia opened the door of her bedroom. Josie could still smell the lingering scent of the reason for her broken heart- sweat, saltwater, and a bit of weed floated through the air.

And she had to grab her chest at the sight of the first-aid kit that sat neatly on her bed.

She followed her mother into the bathroom, and she tried to coach herself to take deep breaths as she controlled her emotions. Her mother then made her way into Naomi's room, dragging a chair from her desk right beside the door, and harshly shoved it in front of the mirror and sink.

Petunia frantically motioned towards the chair when Josie didn't immediately jump in it, and the teen promptly obliged her mother's silent commands. As Josie opened the bottom left cabinet to grab her makeup bag, her mother plugged in the flat iron that laid cold on the counter.

And they both got to work covering the mess that Josie exhibited.

Her mother surprisingly never asked for an explanation for Josie's appearance, which she assumed was due to her frantic thoughts worrying about fifty-thousand other things. The silent time in her mother's presence was nice, relaxing almost, and Josie had to allow herself to bask in the hour she felt at peace with her mother.

She also allowed herself to reminisce on the things that JJ had said to her. And while she understood that he was upset by everything that had happened, she couldn't help but hold on to the belief that she didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. It was wrong on so many levels for him to fling those things on her because he'd been having a rough time.

But she also knew him well enough to know that it wasn't unlike him. He was so used to absence that he often times tended to push people away; both purposefully and accidentally. But Josie couldn't let the things he'd said go in one ear and out the other.

He'd said she wasn't a pogue. He'd said that they'd better rip the Band-Aid that was their friendship off.

He'd said that she acted entitled, and he indirectly insinuated that she saw herself as better than him.

It hurt, and Josie had to tightly close her eyes to not start crying once again. She mentally promised herself that she would not let this absolutely wreck the rest of her day.

Tomorrow? That was a different story. She'd let it wreck her tomorrow.

By the time Josie had finished her makeup, her mother had already been steaming out the non-existent wrinkles of her daughter's dress. Josie made her way into the bedroom, and her mother tossed something out for her to catch.

Josie raised the item up in front of her, inwardly groaning as she realized what it was. It was high waisted shapewear, because of course it was.

"You've been putting on a bit around the tummy, and this will make sure that none of its rolling up or anything. Kennedy from the boutique made it specifically for your dress." Her mother explained, and Josie grimaced as she inspected the clothing that looked way too small to fit her comfortably.

Of course, her mother would get her something a size too small, because what better motivation than that, right?

"Mom, I'm not gonna be able to fit in this." Josie gazed between the article of clothing and the woman at the foot of her bed, voice defeated from everything she'd been given that day.

"Josephine, we don't have time to discuss this. Move it." Petunia approached Josie and directed her to get out of the clothes. Reluctantly and dejectedly, Josie lifted her shirt off of her head and slipped off her shorts and underwear.

"Alright, suck it in and tuck your belly." Her mother instructed as Josie pulled the spanx up her legs. The teen let in a loud breath, and she sucked into her stomach as tightly as she could muster.

Seeing as it was a couple of sizes too small, her mother tugged at the top as it fought against her. Her mother groaned and moved to tug at it from a different angle. "More, Josephine. Suck in," she tapped at the teen's stomach.

Josie let herself breathe, before taking in another big gulp and holding herself there. She could feel the light-headedness start to sink in, as she added the unnatural breathing to her lungs that were recovering from the meltdown she'd had outside. She knew it couldn't have been good for her lungs or her brain.

"Alright, stay here," her mother commanded after she finally got the fabric over Josie's stomach and up to sit under her chest. She exited the bedroom, and she took a left to make her way down the hall and towards her own room.

Josie immediately went to duck back into her bathroom, not comfortable with her door being completely wide open while she was in her underwear. She didn't know if Cory or anyone else would be poking their nose in other people's business.

She'd waited only a minute before her mother rushed back in and set some stuff down on her bed. One of things her mother immediately picked up was a roll of tape, and she ripped a piece off as she glanced up to find where her daughter had gone.

"Josephine." She motioned towards herself.

Josie approached her once again, and Petunia reached out to roll down the top of the spanx an inch. She then laid a piece of tape sideways under Josie's right breast, where the top would sit. She then did the same on her left side, and in the center. Her mother then tugged the material back up and pressed the top into place.

"The tape stops it from rolling down. Turn around."

Josie nodded and spun to face away from her mother. She repeated the process on her back, and Josie suddenly realized that the back of the bodysuit was almost nonexistent as it dipped down to right above her butt.

Instead of at the top, her mother was placing tape along the outline of the dip. And as she did so, Josie also noticed that her mother used the tape to mold her skin for a more toned appearance.

The teen sighed and closed her eyes, as she forced herself not to dwell on her mother's obsession with Josie's physique too much.

"Okay." Her mother spun the teen back around when she finished. Without looking at her daughter, she went to grab the other thing she'd put down on the bed. Another roll of tape.

"This is boob tape. You put it on- make sure to pull it upwards for lift- and use it on the dress to keep it in place." Her mother executed the action, and Josie nodded in understanding.

She'd used the tape before once; Sarah Cameron's friend Scarlet had taught her how to use it when they'd been friends. So, she understood the gist of what it was used for.

She handed the roll to Josie, before swiftly turning her focus to Josie's dress that still neatly laid on her bed. To keep her mother from shouting at her to hurry, Josie quickly unclipped her bra- rather ungracefully as she had to find the clip multiple times- and peeled off the protective film of the tape.

After five minutes of struggling to figure out the correct way to pull at her skin and have her boobs sit correctly, she managed what she considered a success. The tape may have hurt a little, but the girls were sitting, and her nipples were covered.

She could only wonder how long it would last.

She grabbed the dress from her mother's outstretched hands, tugging it over her mess of underwear, and let it fall over her form. As she began smoothing it out with her hands, the loud voice of her sister rang through the second floor of the Grey house.

"I need someone to clip this dang necklace before I jump off the landing!"

"I'll be right there baby!" Her mother called out to Naomi, smoothing down Josie's dress one more time. She stepped back to give her a couple of scans, shrugging in what Josie concluded was acceptance.

"Alright, please pick out some nice jewelry. Then come downstairs for pictures." She walked through Josie's door, stopping to add over her shoulder. "In a timely manner."

Josie threw her a thumbs up, and she watched her leave before making her way across her room. She approached the antique box that sat on her dress, and she lifted the lid to observe the plethora of jewelry.

She decided to go with a pair of golden pearl and crystal drop earrings. The embellishment in her ear was a squared golden crystal, and dropping from it were three different circular pearls before a final pearl shaped as a drop.

They radiated a level of antique that Josie gravitated towards.

She decided to match the earrings with some golden rings. One with a simple pearl embellishment, one golden with the family crest stamped into it, and a simple one with ships carved into the material.

She knew exactly what necklace she wanted to wear, luckily not having to think too much about it. She pulled the shiny golden necklace from its pocket of the box, and she admired the sun pendant that hung from the chain.

It felt right, considering that the party was for Midsummer's. A celebration of the summer solstice; it only seemed fitting that she then wore something to represent the warmth of summer.

As she struggled to get the clasp together, she looked around her room to find her backpack. She paused once the necklace fell against her chest, the thought of her mother throwing a fit at her choice of bag coming to mind.

She groaned out, marching over to the closet and flicking on the light to shuffle through the basket of bags stuffed under a wad of t-shirts. As she moved the shirts off the basket, she became acutely aware of the dark blue shirt at the top of the pile.

It was a stupid shirt she'd gotten for two dollars at a thrift store. But what was special about it were the drawings and words that littered the fabric in white and gold.

On her most recent birthday, JJ had surprised her with the exact activity she'd insisted she'd wanted to do with him. They'd gone to the local donation center and bought shirts, before completely going to town on decorating them for each other.

It was a fond memory that later had the pogues groaning in jealousy as the duo arrived at her birthday hangout in matching shirts.

Now, all she could do was stare at the fabric petulantly. And in a moment of spite, she threw the shirt in the bin labeled 'donations' at the other end of the closet.

She went back to sort through the bags, and she pulled a black hobo bag out of the basket. After she pressed it to her dress to see if it matched well enough, she figured it was as good as she was going to get on short notice.

While she was in the closet, she also pulled out the pair of black, strappy stiletto sandals that her mother had bought specifically for Midsummer's. Josie audibly groaned as she eyed the shoes, taking her time to sit on the ottoman in her closet and pull them on.

Once she was done, the redhead made her way back out of the closet and towards her backpack. She dumped out all of the contents onto her bed, and she then sorted through everything to pick out what she figured she'd need.

Her journal, gum, a stick of deodorant- which she quickly applied, shiny lip gloss, perfume- which she again applied, an extra bra for when the tape she had on inevitably failed her, and her camera.

"I think that's everything." Josie muttered to herself as she double checked everything around her room. She paused as her eyes caught sight of the med kit from earlier. Rather than lying on the bed like before, it sat on the bedside table her mother had moved it to.

It stared at her like a silent reminder of what had happened between her and JJ, and her chest ached longingly as a result.

Tomorrow. She could be sad tomorrow.

She pulled the bag over her shoulder and made her way towards the door, stuffing in her phone and air pods on the way out. She made her way through the upstairs landing and down the stairs, but she froze when her eyes met the sight at the bottom of the stairs.

Her mother stood tall in her heels, and she was suing a lint roller against the sheer black silk of Naomi's dress. Cory stood aside in a simple all-black suit and undershirt, his emerald green pocket square matching the color of the matriarch's dress.

But there were two things in particular that surprised Josie the most.

One, was the surprising appearance of her older sister, Lily.

For three years, Lily Grey had been residing in Philadelphia. She was attending UPenn, and she was one year away from advancing to medical school.

Lily Grey was also Petunia Shoupe's pride and joy.

But regardless of their close relationship, Lily had always made it very clear that she resented the Outer Banks (a concept she'd inherited from their mother.) So, it came as a massive shock to see her step even a toe back on Kildare Island.

She'd dyed her hair dirty blonde, a major change from the deep brunette she'd bore at birth. She was also much paler than the last time Josie had seen her- the teen's birthday back in March. She wore a gorgeous light blue, scoop neck, sleeveless midi dress.

She looked as beautiful as she'd always been.

The second thing, or person rather, that surprised Josie was the boy standing at the bottom of her stairs.

In his black suit jacket and pants, white button up, and deep green-blue bowtie that Josie had handpicked. At the bottom of her stairs, stood the boy she'd spent the last two months with.

Max Garcia stood, with his bright white smile, as he waited for her to walk down the last steps.

She narrowed her eyes at him, furrowing her brows to show how unorthodox his showing up was. No matter what her feelings towards JJ were at that moment, Max had helped him back and let Rafe take multiple punches at him. He'd put him in a chokehold and let his anger get the best of him.

"Oh Josephine, good!" Her mother breathed out in relief as she spoke and signed at the same time. She beckoned her daughter to join Max at the bottom of the stairs, and he held out his hand for her to take as she stepped down.

But Josie did no such thing, and instead brushed past the hand as she stepped onto the ground floor. "Mom-"

"Not now, please." The irritation was growing in her voice, and the finality of her tone made Josie huff in irritated acceptance.

She turned to where Max stood by the steps and settled in on his right side, placing her bag down out of sight. She let him wrap his arm around her back and rest his hand on her side.

And despite her best efforts to persuade herself not to, she habitually raised her right hand to rest on his stomach.

Her mother snapped a few photos and moved to show them to the others, with Lily giving a thumbs up when she thought a particular photo looked good and Naomi giving out a hum of indifference. After what felt like a hundred photos, her mother finally let the camera fall back around her neck.

Josie couldn't help but feel admiration towards her friends for always agreeing to be on this side of the camera.

"Alright, now let's get some of you girls."

Max maneuvered to stand beside Petunia, who squeezed his arm in a quick greeting.

Silently, the girls were able to navigate their way towards the correct poses with Josie calling the shots. Josie, who was the tallest and the middle child by birth, had always been put in the middle of sibling photos. Lily stood to her left, and Naomi stood on her right.

After a few more photos were taken, her mother then directed Josie to take photos of her and Cory, and then of her and Lily. By the time they'd finished, Josie was sure she'd scream at how much her mother had tried to tell Josie how to take the photos.

She was grateful when her mother declared that the pictures were done, handing the camera back and fetching her bag. She ignored when Max leaned down to grab the bag, quickening her haste to snatch it from the floor.

"Alright, is everyone good and ready to go? We need to make it there before Rose does!" Everyone gave their confirmations, and Petunia began to herd all of her sheep out of the door. But as everyone exited, Josie tugged at the sleeve of Max's back to stop him from following.

"What the hell are you doing?" She hissed through clenched teeth, watching her family from the corner of her eyes to make sure they weren't listening.

Max sighed and shuffled on his feet as he stuffed a hand into his pocket. "Trying to figure out how to apologize, and then beg you for a second chance."

Josie scoffed as she crossed her arms, and she noted the way his eyes fell towards her chest. She huffed again, smacking his chest in disbelief. His eyes snapped up, and he peered down at her apologetically.

"Josephine, I'm sorry, okay? Really sorry. What I did was so stupid, I get it, and you had every right to break up with me. I've been an absolute ass the past few days, about everything." He closed the distance between them, gently grabbing her hands in his as he sat down her purse.

And against her better judgment, she let him. Because she was a sucker for the soft tone of his voice.

"But Josephine, I like you. Like, I really really like you. I let Topper and Rafe get in my head and cloud that, and that was so stupid on my part. But I need you to know that I'll never let something like that come between us ever again." His hands moved to cradle her jaw, and she stared up at him admirably.

She wasn't sure what to say to that. It wasn't the I love you that she'd hoped for- that she'd been hoping for. And she wasn't expecting him to ask her for another chance so soon after they'd broken up. So soon after she'd experienced a different kind of heartbreak.

He was her first boyfriend, the first guy to outwardly show interest in her more than just the physical sense (even though almost no one even did that.) He was the sweet boy from the big city of Chicago that just so happened to also like pop and indie music and thought that Indiana Jones was one of the best franchises of all time.

He was the first boy she'd ever considered she could love. Like, really love.

"If I have to get down and grovel for you, I will." Max playfully threatened, already going to bend at his knee. But Josie grabbed his hands and let out a small chuckle, shaking her head gently as she bit her lip.

"Don't tempt me. It's just-" She let out a sigh, silently readying herself for whatever was going to come from forgiving him.

"I really really like you too. I think you're pretty awesome, and totally out of my league. And you're the first boy I've ever felt this way for-"

Max scoffed in disagreement and leaned his forehead down to rest against hers as he smiled good-naturedly.

"And I think that has a lot to do with why I was- I am- so upset at what happened. Because I love them, they're my family." Josie hastily reached up to wipe at a stray tear that escaped down her cheek, and she tried to pull her emotions back.

She didn't want her mascara to run.

"I know that, and I'm sorry. Just please, please try with me. Yeah?" Josie closed her eyes as she basked in the feeling of his breath fanning her face. She was sure this was the most he'd ever apologized. Hell, it was more than she'd ever heard him apologize combined.

But there were so many different thoughts running through her head.

What would the pogues say when they found out she'd taken him back after what he'd done? Was she ready to commit to what loving someone meant? Was she ready to take him back so quickly? Was it worth the possibility of getting her heart broken again?

Wasn't that what love was supposed to be? The willingness to do something, even if it hurt, because that love was worth anything that came with it.

The image of JJ flashed into her head. More specifically, the image of the biting words he'd shot towards her when he'd told her she didn't belong with the pogues. When he'd blamed her for her ex being a kook. And she couldn't help the spiteful concepts that responded to those bitter words.

You think it was bad my ex is a kook? Problem solved, he's not my ex anymore.

Josie nodded to herself, and she opened her eyes and planted a sweet smile on her face. She didn't want to make it obvious that a part of her was only agreeing to give him a chance out of spite, and she could only hope it would eventually grow into affection once again.

Once he returned the smile, she let herself pull away and grab his hand to lead him out the front door. She locked the house door behind her, pulling the door shut and double checking the lock.

"There you are! Hurry up, the both of you!" Her mother hurriedly hastened them, waving her hand down the stairs as she basically guided them down the porch.

Max wiggled his fingers to sit in between Josie's, intertwining them as he assisted her down the stairs.

Naomi and Lily chuckled as they watched the couple descend the front steps, and Josie glanced up from her focus on her steps to glare at her younger sister as Naomi spoke. "They were probably sucking face or something." After she finished signing, Naomi pointed back at Josie and mimicked making out with herself quite dramatically. Lily nodded through her own laugh.

"Fuck off, both of you." Josie was silent as she signed, and Max curiously stared at her when her sisters rolled their eyes.

"What'd you say?" He inquired, leading them both to his car parked at the end of the driveway. He gave Cory and Petunia a wave, and he opened the passenger door for her to look good in front of the parentals.

She stepped around the open door, turning to smirk at him. "I said that my boyfriend is an annoying prick who needs to finally kiss his girlfriend before she breaks up with him again."

She felt bad for bringing up something like a breakup so soon, but she couldn't help but selfishly hope that the more they acted like a couple- the more comfortable Josie could grow in the relationship again.

"What kind of boyfriend am I?" He gasped in astonishment, before he leaned down and closed the gap between them. Josie abstained from honestly answering his question.

Before he could let his hand wander to her waist, she sheepishly pulled away and patted his cheek. She motioned with her eyes towards her mother and Cory, the latter impatiently waiting for the both of them to move out of the way. She turned and leaned down to make her way into the car.

Josie watched as Max shut the door and jogged around the front, calling out something to Petunia and throwing a thumbs up. He made his way to the driver's side, letting himself slide in and settle before he turned the car on.

The car ride to the Island Club was silent for the most part, with Max having reached out and intertwined their hands over the console. And Josie spent most of her time reminiscing on the pain in her chest that remained from her argument with her best friend.

She couldn't help but wonder what he was up to at that very moment. Were he and John B already planning on how to cross the border in the Twinkie, or were they packing up the boat ready to sail down the coast?

Or had John B talked some sense into JJ the way Josie hadn't been able to, and instead of leaving they were chilling in the Chateau as JJ told him about how he'd kicked Josie out of his life.

As Max and Josie arrived at the Island Club, Josie felt the familiar feeling of dread building in the pit of her stomach. It was something she was used to, the despair right before a big get-together. But it didn't make it any easier, especially when she forgot to take her medication.

The anxious state of mind made her palms sweaty and her knees wobbly as she recounted all of the ways she could make a fool of herself that night.

The couple exited the car together, meeting at the passenger side to clasp their hands back together. They both greeted the Valet driver under the front entrance, and Max handed him the keys to park the car. Josie kept her eyes peeled for any sight of her parents- or Kiara.

To keep herself busy and her mind calm, Josie decided to run her hand down her dress.

"You look amazing, if it wasn't obvious." Max leaned down as he spoke to her, and Josie smiled up at him distractedly. She willed herself not to cause any more dramatics than she already had that day.

She couldn't wait to go back home and sleep the entire day off.

"I didn't know you knew sign language." Max spoke up, obviously trying to get some sort of conversation out of her as they waited. Josie sighed, deciding that the least she could do was indulge him. It would be a welcomed distraction.

"Yeah, since I was young. It comes with the whole deaf sister thing." Josie joked, and she gestured towards her ear as she stated the obvious.

"But I mean, she's not fully deaf, is she?"

Josie knew he wasn't trying to be offensive, but the way Max had asked his question had quite an air of ignorance to it. She tried not to take it personally, for her sister's sake. "I mean, yeah, she has a cochlear, but she doesn't really like to use it. Signing is just so much easier because it's what we've always done. I don't know."

Josie shrugged as she motioned out towards her mother's approaching car. Max waved out towards them as he plastered a grin on his features, and Josie chortled in amusement at how much he wanted to gain their favor.

"Y'know, I'm starting to believe my statement from the other day about you wanting my mom." She exaggeratedly imitated his excited wave, and she couldn't hide the boisterous laugh she let out when he playfully shoved her hand down.

"Maybe it's Cory I'm after." Max wiggled his eyebrows, and Josie huffed out in support of his statement.

"By all means, get him out of the house."

Max laughed at Josie's declaration, tugging her into his side and sliding his arm around her shoulders.

They watched her family exit their car at the front of the club. Petunia Grey handed the keys to the driver without a second glance, choosing instead to fix the strap of Lily's dress.

The sun was slowly diving over the horizon, an indication that the party was about to head into full swing. And Josie let Max and her family lead her through the doors and into the air conditioning of the Island Club.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Her mother reached into her purse as she stopped them, pulling out a blue and green flowered headpiece and moving to stand in front of Josie. The redhead put together that her sisters both wore similar ones, each matching the color of their dress of choice. She rolled her eyes as her mother fussed over placing it on her head.

"Okay, great."

Her mother backed away, and Max moved his hand down to squeeze at her waist. He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Perfect."

Josie scoffed and pursed her lips to hide her grin, but reluctantly embraced the redness that creeped up her neck at his compliment. She was thankful that her makeup could hide the flush she felt from his thumb barely skimming the skin of her back.

They made their way through the building and to the back, where people were already gathered in their pretty dresses and fancy blazers. Music was playing faintly in the background, and Josie mentally begrudged that Swedish religious groups definitely didn't listen to twenty-first century dance music during Midsummer's festivals.

"Oh Justine, how are you?"

Petunia cheered out in delight as she spotted a familiar face, putting on her sickeningly sweet voice as she tugged on the elbow of her boyfriend. She guided the party of six down the steps of the back and onto the grass.

Josie moved her boyfriend's arm so she could grip his elbow as she walked along the grass in her heels.

"Petunia, hello. How are you?" The boney blonde woman, Justine, welcomed Petunia in an equally sickening voice.

Her husband, who sported graying hair and a large beer belly, stayed silent behind her as he chowed down on a tray of hors d'oeuvres one of the staff had probably brought him. Her skinny ginger son was equally as silent, with his nose shoved into his phone.

Josie felt no blame towards him at all.

"I'm well, I'm well, thank you. This is my fiancé, Cory Schmidt. You remember him from the Easter Festival, right?" Josie went to sign for Lily's sake when her mother began speaking, but Naomi had beaten her to it.

Josie snorted when she observed a joke Naomi and Lily shared about her mother calling Cory her fiancé. It was a common move from her mother. Josie assumed it was her subtle way of telling Cory to put a rock on her finger soon.

She doubted that would happen anytime soon.

"I do, so nice to meet you again. This is my husband, Rick." Justine elbowed her husband in the stomach, causing him choke on whatever he'd shoved into his mouth. All four of the younger guests had to hide their laughs, and even the son had to tilt his head to hide his amused smile.

The way Rick eyed Naomi as she signed, his nose stuck up in the air as if he'd smelled something foul, made a lingering distaste make a home on Josie's tongue. She narrowed her eyes at him, gaze lingering as he continued to gawp at Naomi as if she'd just insulted his heritage.

"And are these your children?" Justine's voice pulled Josie's attention as the older woman also watched as Naomi signed the question back at Lily. Josie shot a glare back at Rick when an impolite grunt left his lips, and he rolled his eyes at her sister's actions.

"Yes, well the girls are. This is my Lily, she's the one heading to medical school at UPenn." Justine smiled and nodded as Lily waved at her. Josie could easily pick out her awkward glances that flittered between the Grey-Shoupe household.

"This is Naomi, my youngest." Her mother was interrupted by Justine's son's voice.

"Woah, wait, you're the chick who scored top four last year at Junior Nationals!"

Josie smirked as the boy acknowledged her sister's surfing achievements, but Naomi looked like she couldn't care less about his opinion. She kept her focus on translating for Lily, not even sparing the boy a glance. And Max let out a puff of laughter into the top of Josie's head as he leaned into her to hide his amused smile.

Petunia cleared her throat at the obviously strained encounter and moved to point at Josie. "And that is my Josephine. She'll be attending Yale after graduation and will be heading to law school afterwards. She'll also be valedictorian this year. And that is her boyfriend, Max Garcia."

"Oh yes," Justine pointed at Max and nodded, and Josie could see how much her peer's lack of attention towards her achievements bugged her mother. "Camila and Daniel's boy, right?"

Max laughed and nodded as he moved his arm to sit back around Josie's waist. The warmth of his skin was welcomed as opposed to the cool breeze. "Yes ma'am, that's Mom and Dad. Good to hear they're actually socializing."

He was his natural charismatic self, and Josie rolled her eyes as he earned laughs from all of the adults in the group. She smiled appreciatively when she saw Naomi make fun of the interaction, glad she wasn't the only one unimpressed. But undeterred by her younger sister's teasing, her older sister seemed to buy into it all the same.

It wasn't that Josie didn't enjoy how charismatic Max was. After all, it was one of the things that attracted her toward him at first. But Josie couldn't help but notice when it crossed the line into being a fake version of himself, the obvious need to be liked that most people shared jolting him into the persona he put on for adults.

She liked him either way.

Justine moved to wrap an arm around her son's shoulders, and she harshly tugged him towards the group to gain his attention. "This is my son, Marcus."

"Named after the richest man in all of Ancient Rome," Rick gruffly added as he stroked his protruding stomach and patted his son's back. Josie scoffed, and Petunia shot her a look to keep whatever she was going to say to herself.

But this guy had an obvious problem with her sister's disability, so she found it to be fair game.

"You mean the same guy who suppressed a slave revolt in Ancient Rome? The same guy who had molten gold poured into his mouth after he died, and whose head was later used as a prop head?" Josie raised a brow at the man, standing up straight as she challenged him.

"Or maybe you're getting him mixed up with Marcus Junius Brutus, you know, the main guy who betrayed and stabbed Caesar? The same one people compare to the likes of Judas. The guy who eventually took his own life when he was defeated by Octavian and Mark Antony. That one? I mean, they both lived at around the same time, so it makes sense that you might mix them up." She smiled up at him sarcastically.

"Such a great namesake."

An awkwardly hushed silence fell over the group, and Josie kept her glare set on the older man. Petunia stared at her daughter in shock, whilst Naomi and Max had to hold back their chuckles. When her gaze moved over to her mother's, she let the energy around her intimidate her to slide back into her turtle shell.

She stared down at her fingers, refusing to face the energy she'd created. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try to- yeah..." She pointed generally behind her, before squeezing Max's elbow and making herself scarce from the group.

"Well, at least she'll make a good lawyer." She overheard Max's lax statement that covered for her, and the laughter from the party allowed Josie to shrink her shoulder in relief. She scolded herself for her confrontational behavior, silently questioning where she got the audacity to speak like that towards a total stranger.

She smiled politely at people as she stumbled past them, trying to focus on finding something to drink as well as not falling on her face in heels. She saw the door of heaven open up when she caught sight of a waiter carrying a tray of lemonade in champagne flutes.

"Hi," Josie greeted him politely and snatched the drink from the tray. She downed the drink in one go, replacing it on the tray and grabbing another before he could walk away.

Before she could down the drink again, she heard a voice from behind her.

"Are you planning to save some for everyone else?"

It was like angels harmonizing from the clouds, or birds singing songs of affection in the brisk morning air. The beautiful notes of her best friend's voice drifted out towards Josie, and she turned to meet her wonderful Kiara.

"Kie," Josie sighed out in relief. She placed the drink and her bag down on a free surface, and immediately threw herself at the girl. Kiara chuckled in response, letting her arms fall around Josie's back in a greeting.

"You'd think you didn't just see me this morning." The reminder of their day had Josie's shoulders slumping, and Kie immediately made it her mission to fix it.

"But I mean, look at you." Kiara backed up and whistled as she grabbed Josie's left hand, motioning towards her appearance.

"You're a smoke show."

"Me?" Josie waved her hand and rolled her eyes at Kie's gawking. She gestured towards the girl herself, taking in just how great her best friend looked. "You're the most gorgeous person I've ever laid eyes on."

Kiara sported a lovely lavender silk cowl dress, simple and elegant. Her hair was done up, with strands falling around her face. And she also wore an elegant floral headpiece, one that seemingly matched Josie's well.

The redhead suspected some planning done by their moms behind the scenes.

"Please, I feel like I'm dressed up for Halloween." Kiara scoffed, letting her eyes scan out over the growing crowd. Josie moved back towards her bag to pull out her camera, and she grinned mischievously when Kiara shook her head through a laugh. Josie pouted her lips, shaking the camera enticingly at her.

"C'mon Kie, just one to prove how much you love me?" Josie dramatically batted her eyelashes at her, and Kiara shrugged in acceptance.

"Fine, but only if you're also in it."

"Deal." Josie nodded, and she moved to sit the camera on one of the free tables littered along the porch.

She peered through the viewfinder as she directed it towards the empty space of the stairs, overlooking the orange sky and water that spread behind the Club. She directed Kie to stand where they'd pose, getting it perfect before beginning the timer.

"Okay, okay, okay." Kie laughed as Josie quickly shuffled towards her, and the redhead playfully wrapped her arm around Kie's neck. She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as the sound of fast shutters became prominent, and she playfully pressed an obnoxious kiss to Kie's cheeks as the brunette laughed.

Once the shutters were finished, Josie rushed over to the camera through her grin. Kie played annoyed, crossing her arms as she stared at the giddy girl. "I thought you said just one?"

Josie shrugged, cheekily peeking up at her best friend as she clicked through the group of photos. "Maybe my thumb slipped and hit the burst button, we'll never know."

As Josie focus down on the screen of her camera, Kie took the time to once again survey the kooks that surrounded them. She watched as people greeted each other with fake smiles and kisses on the cheeks, talking about God-knows-what. "I can't believe we're here right now, surrounded by kooks."

Josie paused as JJ's words rang fresh in her brain. You were born a kook, and you'll always be a kook.

She wondered if somewhere in her, Kie thought that of her too. She immediately hated herself for thinking such a thing. But then again, she never thought JJ would've said something like that so blatantly to her. So, what's stopping any of the pogues from thinking the same thing?

The supposition left a sour taste on her tongue. Josie moved to place her camera back in her bag, and she picked up her lemonade glass from its position on the table. She didn't know if Kie could feel the energy shift, but Josie suddenly felt like she was drowning in it.

"Yeah, I-uh- I need to find Max." Josie stumbled as she tried to find an excuse to escape her thoughts. But it was obvious she hadn't settled for the right one when Kie's stare grew to astonishment.

"Max?"

Josie cringed as she sipped her lemonade, gaze cast down into the cloudy yellow liquid swirling in the glass. She could feel her pulse rising, and she grew concerned that the flute would slip from her grasp with how sweaty her hands felt. All she could do was nod in confirmation.

"We're back together." Despite it being a statement, her voice tilted in a question as she informed the girl of only a fraction of what had happened that day.

Kiara raised her brows in surprise, and she leaned back to take in what Josie had just told her.

It felt like the air was suffocating her, that she couldn't breathe in the essence of everyone surrounding her. It was too much- having to face even the slightest truth about the shitshow of her day.

Why couldn't she just be given a break to fake that she was fine? Why did all of her problems have to spearhead themselves into her one on top of the other?

She placed the flute back on the table, and she grabbed the bag to shove it up her arm and on her shoulder. She sent Kiara an apologetic look, trying to disguise the heavy falls of her chest. "I gotta go."

Without waiting for an answer, Josie swiftly spun and made her way through the back doors of the building. She sighed as she made her way inside, basking once again in the air conditioning that blew throughout the lobby. She tried to stop any of her overwhelmed tears from falling out, growing frustrated with her insistent emotions.

What she didn't anticipate was to open her eyes to an approaching bunch of Camerons, smiles adorning most of their faces as they spotted Josie. And despite her disdain for the entire family, she considered the fact that her mother's relationship with them kept the roof over their heads, and she smiled back at them.

"Josephine, how are you honey? You look amazing." Rose, with her large golden liberty-like headpiece, approached the girl with widened arms as she released her husband's elbow. Josie politely nodded her head, going in for a brief hug before she pulled back.

Any more touch from people before she could take a break may actually suffocate her.

"I'm doing good, Rose, thank you. I love your dress too, very elegant." Josie tried to channel her inner Petunia Shoupe as she put on her best fake voice, motioning down towards the dress that was actually quite pretty.

But Josie was just trying to make quick conversation.

"Thank you, thank you." She moved back beside Ward, who smiled down at the girl and pulled her in for a side hug. The teen noted the medallion that hung around his neck, no doubt an honor he was bestowed for Midsummer's.

What ever happened to the May Queen?

"Good to see you, Josephine. How's your mom?" Josie knew he was just being courteous, considering he and Petunia talked almost every day. That's what happens when your lawyer lives two houses down the road and is also best friends with your wife.

"Same old, same old. Congratulations by the way." She raised a hand towards the medal, and he amicably waved her off. Rose squeezed his elbow proudly, and they shared a brief loving glance. Josie, who felt like she was intruding, took the opportunity to glance around and plan her escape.

"Hi, Jose."

The smooth voice that called her nickname immediately drew her attention, and Josie turned to meet the brown eyes of Sarah Cameron. The girl stared at her as if they were old friends, grabbing lunch together and gossiping about what Sandra Clemonts wore to the party.

But with the parental figures right there, Josie refrained from outright rudeness. "Hey, Sarah. You look so stunning." It was true, she did. The white dress that flowed down her figure and the floral headpiece that wrapped around her hair made the blonde seem like an angel that walked the Earth.

"Thank you, so do you. I think that dress turned out to be the perfect choice."

Josie ran her hand along the fabric of her dress, suddenly embarrassed by the amount of effort she'd put into getting dolled up. She smiled mannerly, avoiding the obviously full gaze of the Cameron girl. Josie knew that Sarah was assuring her in contrast to her mother's comments that day at Tanneyhill, but the last thing she wanted was the pity of the kook-princess.

Josie veered her gaze over to the youngest of the bunch, who glanced around in boredom. "Hey Wheeze, long time no see."

The brunette smiled up at the redhead, and that was the extent of their interaction. They'd played together in Sarah's pool when Josie had been friends with her, and she'd bought the girl ice cream a few times. But they'd never really known each other by anything other than that.

And without even peeking at the expectant eldest Cameron, Josie smiled civilly at Rose again. "Well, you guys need to make your entrance and I need to find the restroom. So," she motioned behind her towards the bathrooms as she walked backwards. And with one last wave, she turned to make her way away from the group.

Josie shook her hands out as she rounded the corner, and immediately began to pace in front of the bathroom doors. She tried to calm her breathing, counting her breaths like she'd been taught to do time and time again.

Inhale, hold, exhale. Inhale, hold, exhale. Inhale, hold, exhale.

Everything felt hot, she felt like she was burning up. Like she was standing in the middle of a bonfire, bouncing around as if she didn't know how to step out of the pit.

The dress felt too tight, her hair felt stringy, and she felt like she was going to fall over in her shoes. She hated the way her clothes touched her skin, her lip-gloss was too sticky on her lips, and the sounds of the guests' voices made her want to scream in agony. It hurt, it all just hurt.

"Ro?"

That stupid nickname.

"Rafael, I am seriously not in the mood, okay? Just go find your posse of future senior-citizen club members and leave me alone." Josie swatted a hand in his general direction, not willing to glance at him.

Even just the one word he spoke was enough to make her skin crawl with discomfort.

"Woah, is it a chick thing? That time of the month or something?"

Josie gawked at him in disbelief, watching as he humoredly shoved his hands into the pockets of his baby blue slacks.

"Are you just naturally a dickhead, or is that something you practice every day in the mirror?" She stood to her full height and tried to subtly adjust her dress. But nothing worked to subside the nuisance of the fabric.

"Kind of comes with the territory. Seriously, are you good?" Josie scoffed sarcastically, glaring at the older boy as he approached her. She was sure somewhere inside him he believed he was helping, but all she wanted to do was take one of his precious golf clubs and punt him to the moon.

"No, genius, I'm not good. I forgot how much I hate social gatherings, and I have had the shittiest of shitty days. I'm in a dress that I can't tell if I love or hate, at a party that incorrectly depicts what Midsummer's actually is, surrounded by people I barely know, surrounded by food that has no doubt touched other food! Not to mention, I've had terrible whiplash the past few days from everything that has happened to me. And you," she pointed at the boy accusingly.

"Not only did you beat up my best friends, twice, but you also dragged my boyfriend into your stupid kook vs pogue shit!"

"Ex-boyfriend." Rafe interrupted, pulling out his right hand to smugly extend his hand. Josie had never wanted to smack him more than in that very moment.

"No, boyfriend, actually. We got back together, Asswhipe." She ignored the way his jaw and fist clenched as she relayed the news to him.

"My boyfriend, who's head you've been filling with a bunch of nonsense! I mean, Christ! I have had it up to here with thetwo sides of the island bullshit!" Josie's voice rose as she lifted her hand to Rafe's height, emphasizing how done she was with everything happening.

It kind of felt good to angrily get it all off her chest.

"I've been nearly killed, like, three times in the past week alone! My best friend, who I don't know is still my best friend or not, is angry with me, and I'm still unclear about how the others feel about me. My mother wants me to go to fucking law school, when I couldn't give two shits about it. And to top it all off, I'm pretty sure my father is lurking around the island somewhere!"

Josie gasped out in relief as she finished, almost chest to chest with Rafe as she heaved from her outburst. He smiled down at her in amusement and something else that Josie couldn't pinpoint. His blue eyes pierced her teasingly, and she raised her brow at him questioningly as she dared him to voice his thoughts.

"You're hot when you're all worked up like this." He waved his hand up and down her form as his shining eyes raked across her body, pausing to take in his view of her chest. He swiped the side of his nose with his thumb, licking the corner of his mouth as Josie scoffed in distaste.

She took a breath and composed herself, backing away from her proximity to the tall boy. "And you look like a trash can wearing lipstick. What are we doing here, pointing out the obvious?"

"Isn't the phrase a pig wearing lipstick?" Rafe joked, and Josie stared up at him blankly.

"Yes, but that would be an insult to pigs." The boy opened his mouth to retaliate, when he was interrupted by someone speaking behind him.

"What's going on here?"

Josie had never felt more grateful to Sarah Cameron than in that very moment. She would've taken any excuse to get away from the Cameron boy in front of her, even if that perfect escape was his younger sister.

"I was just telling your brother how much I despise him and wish he would leave me alone. But it's clear that I'm the one that always has to excuse myself, so, excuse me." Josie picked up the skirt of her dress with one hand and made her way away from the siblings.

Her ears could catch the sound of hushed bickering coming from them both, but she couldn't find it in herself to care about what they were saying.

"Wait, Jose!" She heard the girl from before call out from behind her, and Josie inwardly groaned as she threw her head back and slouched. She just wanted to escape all of the talking.

"Sarah." The girl sighed as she spun around, and the blonde stopped in surprise. As if she didn't expect the Grey girl to respond to her.

"All I want right now is ice cold water and a soft place to rest my head on, preferably somewhere silent. So please, allow me the space to find it." Her tone was harsh at the end of her statement, and she spun back around to find a back room where she could get some aforementioned space.

Josie was quite stunned when it seemed like the Cameron girl had listened to her, and she sighed in relief as she made her way through some of the hallways.

She found a quiet nook of a couch and a few chairs in between some of the hotel rooms, and groaned out happily as she beelined her way towards the couch and threw her bag on one of the chairs. Without another thought, she threw herself down on the cushions and let her head rest against the seat.

She closed her eyes and basked in the muffled sound of faint music. In the silence, Josie could clearly hear the ringing of her ears and the thumbing of her heart. Her throat closed as her brain reminded her of the day she'd experienced, and she miserably tried to push away her intrusive anxious thoughts.

Her attention was drawn to the sound of footfalls approaching, and she halfheartedly opened her eyes to once again meet the Cameron girl.

Well, she wasn't anything if not persistent.

In her hand was a regular glass, much larger than a champagne flute, and Josie could make out the clear liquid that sat in the cup. The ice clanked against the glass as Sarah approached her, and the blonde set the drink on the glass table in front of Josie before placing herself in one of the chairs.

"What are you doing, Sarah?" Josie asked, exasperation evident in her voice. But the aforementioned girl simply shrugged and gestured towards the glass.

"You said you wanted ice water, consider it a peace offering."

For a moment, Josie really considered accepting the olive branch Sarah extended towards her. Not only were the temptations of a cold glass of water and sweet words enough to make Josie melt on the spot, but it also chipped at the exterior that Kiara had taught her to build up for the Cameron girl. Because Josie knew she'd do the same thing if she was in Sarah's shoes.

Josie felt the part of herself that loved so deeply long to wrap the Cameron girl up in her arms and make a home there with her, not unlike she'd done sophomore year.

She stared at the glass in contemplation, and she listened to the sound of their mixed breathing.

But then Kiara came to mind. How distraught Kie had been when Sarah hadn't invited either of them to her annual Halloween bash after being best friends with her. How Kie had made Josie swear that they would never let another girl into their duo again.

She considered how betrayed Kie would feel if she made this type of decision, and it was enough to have Josie pulling back from the extended offering. Without another word, she flipped onto her side to face away from the girl and towards the back of the couch.

Sarah sighed out in frustration and defeat as she lifted herself from the seat, glaring daggers into the back of Josie's head. The sound of her feet turning on the carpet sounded, before she looked back at the redhead once again.

"You know, Jose, I really think it's a good idea for us to at least try to be civil with one another. I get that you and Kiara hate me, but our parents are best friends. We're always going to be around each other and-" she paused whatever she was about to say, deciding against it.

"I just think that life would go a lot smoother for the both of us if you learned to let go of grudges. That's all." With that, the girl completely turned away from Josie and made her way back towards the party.

Josie chose to ignore her comments, opting to shut her eyes and finally let herself surrender to the enticing world of slumber.

❁

Josie was woken from her dream of sunshine and ocean waves when the sound of a metal tray clanged through her ears. She jolted from her spot on the couch, frazzled gaze scanning the area for whatever had made the sound.

She breathed out in acceptances when the unfamiliar face of a curly-haired brunette waiter registered. He ogled at her apologetically, and he picked up the tray from where he'd stumbled and dropped it onto the carpeted floor. "My apologies, I didn't mean to bother you."

Josie waved her hand at him, sitting up and stretching out her arms. "It's all good, I needed to get up anyways."

Whilst not a hundred percent better, her body felt severely lighter after being able to rest her eyes. She had absolutely no idea how long she was asleep, but the absence of her headache indicated that it had to be more than an hour's worth.

She noticed the red tint that painted the waiter's face as he stared at her chest, and she glanced down to see that her still-covered right boob had fallen out of her dress and was peeking out from where the neckline fell at her chest.

She slapped an arm over the exposure, staring at him apologetically as she rose from the couch and grabbed her bag. "I'm so sorry!"

She hurriedly rushed past him, making her way down the halls and into a family bathroom, slamming the door locked behind her.

She hastily moved to the mirror and slapped her bag down on the sink.

Her left concoction had stayed in place throughout her sleep, but the right side of her dress had peeled from the tape that stayed stuck against her chest. She croaked out in distress, adjusting the mess and trying to push the dress back into place. Luckily, she was able to push the fabric back against the tape, with no major losses from how she'd re-stuck it.

Maybe she could've done with getting a fresh piece from her mother's bag.

After double checking that her dress wouldn't move on the way there, she exited the bathroom and began her journey back outside. But she'd only made it a few feet before she was met with a sight she'd never expected to see that night.

Warmth.

She no longer felt fire burning from her veins. Or the overwhelming sense of suffocation from the summer air of June. But there was also no freezing sensation, no feeling of being numbed from the inside out.

No, it was peaceful; a serene feeling as she basked in the light of the sun. And for the first time since she'd arrived at the Island club, she felt like nothing else mattered.

And there he stood, the sun. And even though he sported bruising all around his golden features, he'd never looked anything less than perfect. That beautiful sense of home.

But then the essence of the night air hit Josie like a brick, and she was suddenly reminded of why she felt so overwhelmed in the first place. She was reminded of the origin of all of her feelings of despair, and the sticky hot feeling slightly began to swarm her once again.

She crossed her arms to protect herself from the heat of the sun, but it was like he was staring into her soul. His eyes were wide, and his chest rose and fell quite heavily. His lips were slightly parted, mouth agape as he took in the appearance of the girl he'd known since they were kids running around in homemade pirate hats.

She noticed that he'd removed the bandage strips from his cuts, and it left an acidic feeling on her tongue.

"Jo." JJ breathed out in awe, eyes traveling up and down her form as if they were made to do nothing else. Josie had to move her arms down to her waist, suddenly longing for some form of protection against the unfamiliar gaze of her, best friend?

"Wow, I mean you- just- wow. You are...wow." He stuttered to find his words, only able to get out so many before he had to breathe out once again. Josie shuffled on her feet.

"Ridiculous? Stupid? Overdressed? Underdressed? Kook-like-" He was quick to interrupt her.

"Beautiful, Jose, you're...so beautiful. Actually, whatever's better than beautiful." Josie resented the flush that noticeably rose up her neck and along her face. She hopelessly tried to avoid his penetrative blue eyes, as a plethora of foreign feelings bubbled in the bottom of her stomach.

She subconsciously shoved them back down, holding them in their place by the neck to keep them from coming to the forefront of her mind.

She instead moved her gaze to scan over the outfit he was wearing, and her brows furrowed in confusion. "Are you, uhm." She cleared her throat of the waver that accompanied her words. "Are you a waiter?"

JJ, who wasn't focused on anything other than the way Josie looked standing right in front of him, was pulled from his daze when she directly addressed him. "Huh?"

Josie finally decided to bite the bullet, and she let herself lift her eyes to meet the crashing waves of his own. And if she didn't know any better, she'd say JJ's breath caught in his throat when she did so.

It was like a pull, the sense of familiarity that Josie was grasping for between the two of them. That comforting sense of the two of them being two parallel lines that chose to follow down that path of the other, always there for the other line.

The familiar tug of their cosmic energy, pulling them in the direction to eventually meet in the middle- the one thing that then ceased them from being parallel lines, as they chose to intertwine in the end.

Like the fastening of a bow on the end of a string.

But she let the feeling sink into her chest, and instead grabbed at her pride with shaking and spiteful hands. The words that he spat at her were still fresh in her mind; the sharpness of his voice sending a crawling sensation up her spine.

"The way you're dressed, I mean. What are you even doing here?" She motioned around at the hallway they stood in, and at the party going on down the walkway behind him.

"Oh, uh, top secret mission for John B, highly classified." JJ winked at her out of habit, and Josie chose to ignore it.

So much for Yucatan then, huh?

"No kook clearance, right?" She spat out the word like venom on her tongue, not dissimilar to how he'd done only hours prior. And he visibly tried not to cringe at the way she shot his words back at him.

"Jo-"

"Look, JJ. I'm here with my boyfriend, and you're here to do whatever. So just get it done, and leave us kooks to our extravagant parties." She bitterly quoted him once again, before she ultimately decided to leave and avoid causing herself anymore pain.

Despite the fact that all of her feelings of hurt simmered down in the passing moments she shared with the blond.

She hitched her purse further up her shoulder, before she picked up the skirt of her dress and tried to brush past his well-dressed figure. But the calming sense of his touch fell against her elbow and stopped her from moving any further past him.

And as he cradled her arm in his palm, she felt the shivers that sprouted from their connection move up her arm and spread over her entire body.

"Jose, please. I'm really sorry for what I said to you today. I would never ever want anything I say or do to hurt you. I was wrong, you're nothing like what I said. I was just mad at so many things today, and I flipped out by saying lies that I knew would hit a nerve. And just like always, you were right. I'm stupid, impulsive, and reckless." Josie withheld from telling him she didn't think he was stupid, letting him continue his rare expression of feelings.

"But you're my best friend- my favorite fucking person on this dumb spinnin' rock- and I need to know that we're gonna be okay. 'Cause God knows I can't function without you."

Josie let his words sink into her skin, marking it in golden ink like they always do. She processed the fact that of course he apologized. With his stupid loyalty, and his stupid sense of unwavering and dangerous love.

She was dumb to think it wouldn't end up this way.

But it still stung; the words he'd so carelessly thrown at her. Even if it was like he'd claimed, and they'd only come from a dark place, they still hurt. It still shattered her heart to watch him leave her like that.

"JJ," Josie turned her gaze to fall into his eyes, letting the waves wash over her, if only for the moment. "What you said today was so uncalled for, and unjustifiable in so many ways. All I will ever care about is your safety, and what's best for you-"

"I know-" He interrupted, and Josie glared at him to let her speak.

"And the way you talked to me today was all kinds of super shitty- not cool at all. And I love you JJ, more than anyone, but I do not deserve to be spoken to like that. And frankly, the words from your mouth sounded really honest. I don't know how honest they might have been, but a part of me doesn't want to even consider the truth. So no, I don't know if we're gonna be okay. When you left today, it tore me apart." Her voice cracked as she finished, and she looked away to wipe a tear with her free hand.

"Jose, please-"

"I gotta go, Max's probably wondering where I am. I've been back here for a bit." Josie gently removed JJ's hand from her elbow, running her hand down the length of his forearm and into his palm, where she gave a comforting squeeze.

JJ longingly watched her, and Josie avoided his gaze as she broke apart from the elasticity lingering between their touches. She made her way out towards the lobby and main back doors of the Club, sparing herself the pain of watching him make his own way towards what he was there to do.

Once she exited out of the doors and to the back porch, she was met with the cool breeze of night air. The sky was sprinkled in stars as nighttime washed over the island, and the party seemed to be in full swing. A live singer was busking away, and people all over the grass and porch were dancing to the music.

As she slowly made her way down the length of the porch, she could swear she saw the blonde locks of the boy she'd just encountered moving through the dance floor. But she shook it off, choosing not to involve herself as she searched the area for a familiar face.

Her survey around the yard was stopped when two hands gripped her biceps, and she was met with the wide-eyed gaze of Pope, whom she hadn't seen the entire time she'd been there. She stared up at him in surprise and shock, and he firmly gripped her arms in his gloved hands.

"JJ just told me what you planned; how could you think to do something like that? Have you seen his face? Did you know his dad beat him up today?"

"Pope," Josie scolded as she gripped onto his shoulders. She waited until he stopped his questions, gazing up sympathetically at her best friend. She raised her hand to playfully hold his cheeks.

"I love you, dude, and I couldn't let something like getting arrested ruin your chance at getting out of here. I've got the resources but you?" Josie raised her eyebrow matter-of-factly, and his shoulders shrunk. He continued to stare at her in disbelief.

"And yes, I have seen his face, I tried to bandage it up today. And yes," Josie let out a shaky breath. "I do know his dad hit him. But I don't really want to talk about JJ if I'm honest. I'm super tired, and kind of just want to go home and sleep for a whole day."

She leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek, patting them both good-naturedly as she leaned back. "Don't sweat it, I love you. Now, I'm gonna go find a drink with a kick to it, and then try to find wherever Kie disappeared to."

She moved her hands down to squeeze his shoulders, before backing away and making her way directly towards a waiter.

"Hi, hello. Could I please get a vodka diet coke? Thanks, I'll be over there." She pointed towards a beam on the porch, where she already began to make her way towards without so much as a mumble from the waiter.

It only took a couple of minutes before he was handing her the drink, and she instantly went to take down a gulp. She cringed at the sting as it ran down her throat, but sighed in relief at the feeling it gave as it sank to the pit of her stomach.

She'd barely eaten that day, so she was well aware that only one or two of those would get her smashed.

"There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you." While it wasn't the comforting voice of Kiara or the warming voice of JJ, the familiar sound of her boyfriend was welcomed, nevertheless. So, she moved to tiredly smile at him as he made his way towards her.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind, leaning against the beam and allowing her to lean back into him. She rested the back of her head in the junction of his collarbone and shoulder, closing her eyes as his skillful fingers rubbed soothing patterns in the front of the dress.

"Whatcha drinking?" He leaned over her shoulder to sniff at the drink, and fake gagged once he got a good whiff. Josie smacked his hand humoredly, taking another few sips from the drink as she giggled into the cup.

"Not my fault you have bad taste," she chided. She smirked as he slightly tightened his grip, deciding to finish her drink. Once it was empty, Max took it from her hand and placed it on the tray of a passing waiter.

He kissed the side of her head, smiling into it and whispering against the skin. "You look so pretty."

Josie squirmed as the grin grew on her face, keeping her eyes shut and basking in the moment they shared. She wished she had her camera, desperate for memorabilia of a calm moment in a sea of otherwise catastrophic moments.

"You're not so bad yourself" She mumbled back, feeling bumps prickle along her skin as she let herself fall into the embrace of her relationship. They could make it work; she could only hope.

"I wish we could stay like this forever. No island drama, no negative friends, no parents. Just you and me."

Josie couldn't help the pang in her chest as she thought about a life without the pogues. She felt awful that she didn't completely share the sentiment Max blew into her ear, guilt gnawing up her chest. She tried to hastily shove it away.

Max didn't have anyone the way Josie had the pogues, so of course he wouldn't feel that way about anyone else. She was sure they could make the exception for them in this scream scenario of his.

"You wanna dance with me?" Max hummed out in her ear, and Josie laughed as she shook her head. She pulled away to spin in his arms and rest her own around his neck, raising her brows at him humoredly. He returned the gesture, challenge swimming in his deep brown eyes.

"Me, dancing in these heels? You'd have better luck getting Mr. Giuseppe to order his last scotch for the night."

Max hummed out in acknowledgement, glancing out at the crowd on the grass. Said old man was trying to force him wife out on the dancefloor, with a scotch held tightly in his wrinkled hands.

"Oh, is that so?" He tilted his head to the side, and Josie nodded with a wide grin. She laughed as he gripped both of her hands, turning to walk backwards down the stairs.

"Well, that is a challenge I am willing to accept."

Without another word, he placed his hands on both of her hips and lifted her down the steps to meet him at the bottom. She squealed out in surprise and a little bit of fear, setting her hands on his shoulders as he moved her.

Once he sat her down on the grass, she glared up at him unamused. "Never do that again! What if you had dropped me or something?"

Max rolled his eyes, cradling the back of her head as he leaned down to connect their lips. She couldn't help but smile into the kiss, and he pulled away to whisper against her lips. "I'd never drop you."

He then turned from her and tugged her hand up and over his shoulder. He began dancing silly as he led her over to where her mother and Lily were dancing. The smiles on both of their faces were bright and pearly, and Josie couldn't help the one that grew on her own.

Her boyfriend spun her around under his arm, moving her in front of him as he placed her raised right hand on his shoulder. He grabbed her left one in his hand, and began what was a plethora of spins, twirls, and pulling her closer to dance around with him.

She couldn't help the laughs she let out against the music as he swayed her around so freely. She also couldn't miss the sparkle of her mother's eyes as Petunia watched the two teens happily dance themselves to the moon and back. Josie felt pride swell up in her stomach, clutching at her mother's ankles by the jaw.

"Tell Ro she looks pretty hot for a pogue!" Rage. White hot rage filled his bones as JJ lunged from the security's arms back towards Rafe. How dare he put her name in his mouth? Even if it was in the form of that stupid ass nickname he knew she hated. His body burned with fire and fury, hostility and bitterness filling his bones as he thought about Rafe regarding her like that. His mind also flashed images of her reciprocating those thoughts about the kook prince, and it almost made him sick right there in the lobby of the Club. He wanted Rafe's head on a stick. He wanted his brain removed from his head, and Josie's image erased from the kook's memory. Rafe had no right to even be given her presence, just like JJ knew he didn't either.

"Look, look, man, I can walk myself. I got legs. Can't you see that brother?" The familiar drawl of her best friend's voice echoed through the party air. And Josie's vision turned to watch a security guard dragging said boy out from the building.

"Aright, I really appreciate what you did back there, let me just walk out by myself." JJ spoke through the rough tussle the guard put him through as he led him down the porch. Josie quickly made her way towards the steps, stopping halfway up as she watched.

She could sense Max's presence right behind her.

"Oh, Mister Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that's really nice of you. I'm actually gonna down that." JJ briefly greeted the accountant, before grabbing his drink glass as pouring it down his throat in one go.

He cheered as the drink went down his throat, and the security guard escorted him down the stairs beside Josie. All she could do was watch as the man dragged him by the bicep, turning to allow her eyes to follow his form.

"I really, uh. I appreciate the discretion there, Daryl, you know?" JJ turned his attention to wave out at all of the party goers. "It's okay, everybody! Do not panic. Let's leave it to the men and women in uniform, huh?"

JJ continued to make a loud scene as the security guard pushed him through the crowd of dancers, clapping sarcastically. "Let's hear it for them. Rose! You look like Lady Liberty."

Josie caught sight of her mother approaching them on the stairs, glaring out at the blond as she crossed her arms over her chest. But Josie couldn't keep her eyes away from him for too long, worried that something might happen to him.

"It's good to see you again. Oh, hey buddy, can I have one of those?" He pointed out a random snack on a tray.

"Let go of him!" Kie's voice called from a bit down the porch, and Josie spun to observe what her best friend was doing. Her father went to quiet her down, but the girl continued to watch their friend get escorted out.

"You can't just boot him!"

"'Scuse me, ma'am?" The security guard questioned, and JJ stared up at their brunette friend intrigued. Kie's gaze moved over to Josie, whose eyes fluttered between her two best friends as they sat in a miniscule moment of questioning.

When Josie didn't speak up, a disappointed Kiara did it for her. "I invited him here. I'm a member of this club."

Kie spoke through the parents' pleas for her to be quiet, and Josie took a step up to join her. But a firm grip latched onto her wrist, and she turned to see her mother's strict glare burning holes in her face. A silent dare for the teen to disobey every mannerism she'd ever instilled in her.

Josie watched as JJ suddenly pushed the guard away from him, and it suddenly became clear to Josie that JJ was not nearly as wasted as he'd acted moments prior. She had to give him props, he was a good liar.

"Sorry 'bout that. Hey! Mandatory power hour at Rixon's, Kie. Pope, you as well, alright?" JJ pointed to the both of them as he addressed them, before turning to look up at Josie on the steps. "Jose, I know you're mad at me baby, but we gotta plan, okay? You gotta trust me, yeah? Rixon's Cove. Let's roll."

She watched her friends make their decisions to leave, staring out as time seemingly slowed to a freeze.

This was the moment. The point in her life where she finally had to make the decision of which side of the line she was going to put both feet down on. There was no more straddling the line, no more swaying back and forth. This was it; this was the testament.

If she stayed on this step, she was a kook. The pogues would probably never forgive her, and she'd spend her days at parties exactly like this one. She'd end up probably married to Max, going to law school, and settle into a rich and comfortable life. One where she'd never have to worry about her next meal or if they were going to be able to have hot water.

If she jumped down and followed the sunny embodiment of her soul, she was a pogue. Her mother would probably never forgive her, and Josie didn't put it past Petunia Shoupe to kick her daughter out of the house completely. But she'd be surrounded by the people most important to her.

She let her gaze linger over at her mother, who was watching the event unfold in shock and vexation. That cat was out of the bag, Josie concluded. There was no more hiding the pogues from her mother, because the woman was smart enough to put two and two together.

Josie hadn't been spending her time solely with Kiara, but with all of them.

As she stared back out to the blond boy, time seemed to zap back into motion. "C'mon, guys. Workers of the world unite. Throw off your chains!"

She watched as JJ approached John B, who Josie hadn't noticed had made his way into the party. Kiara ran from her parents and down the steps, squeezing at Josie's shoulder as she raced down. She motioned with her head towards the boys, where Pope also chose to join the group.

"Don't make me ask again, JoJo! I'll make it up to you, promise!" JJ smiled so brightly at her as he waited, and right there- Josie made her decision to step over the line.

Because despite how angry she got at him, he was forever worth forgiving if it meant watching him smile at her like he did.

She pushed away her mom's deathly grip, and completely ignored the stern calls that escaped her mother and boyfriend as she ran towards her people.

John B wrapped Pope and Kie in a group hug, and the three of them grinned at the fast approaching Josie.

She ran into the sun's outstretched embrace, letting him spin her around as they embraced in the only hug she could ever truly crave. She cheered happily, reaching out a hand for Kiara to grab as JJ set her down. He threw his left arm over her shoulder and tucked her into him, and Josie laughed as she squeezed the hand Kiara held.

As they walked away from the crowd of distraught patrons, John B moved to lift Josie's arm up and push himself under it, and he lifted her to spin her around.

"Okay, okay! Enough with lifting the acrophobe off of the ground!"

She pushed John B's shoulder as he sat her down, and melted into the arm that JJ threw around her again as they walked. He smiled down at her, grinning from ear to ear as the sides of his eyes crinkled up. "I knew you'd make the right decision, didn't even doubt you for a second."

"Is that right? How'd you know?" Josie asked unconvinced, forehead creased as she chuckled up at him.

But all he did was gently smile down at her; eyes full of an unspoken whisper as his hand moved up to cradle the sun pendant that hung from her neck.

The same one that hung from his own.

"'Cause I believe in you, more than anyone."

⋄ ⋟⋆ june 24, 2020

why is human nature to throw masks over our wilting faces and silky emotions? why do some people choose to hide their love away behind guarded walls and words built from stone lies? I know the world is cruel. I felt it as I navigated through the freezing arctic air. I felt it as I swam through the molten lava that swallowed me whole. the absence of reciprocated love is like stepping on a path of nails to safely guide someone else down the same path, only for them to turn back and walk somewhere different. but even then, if they walk down a different path, and even when the world leaves the nails in my feet, I could never hate it. I swear, I love this earth that scars and scalds, that burns my feet. And even hell is holy. I love because I am soft.

- josephine grey ⋄ ⋟⋆

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