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trynafindbarbiee · 1 year

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A POWERFUL MEDITATION TECHNIQUE TO ENTER

THE VOID STATE INSTANTLY

Radiant One, this experience may dawn between two breaths

After breath comes in – that is, down – and just before turning out – that is, going up – The Beneficence. Be aware between these two points, and the happening. When your breath comes in, observe. For a single moment, there is no breathing – before it turns up, before it turns outward. One breath comes in; then there is a certain point and breathing stops. Then the breathing goes out. When the breath goes out, then again for a single moment, breathing stops. Then breathing comes in.

Before the breath is turning in or turning out, there is a moment when you are not breathing. In that moment the happening is possible, because when you are not breathing you are not in the world. Understand this: when you are not breathing you are dead; you ARE still, but dead. But the moment is of such a short duration that you never observe it.

Each outgoing breath is a death and each new breath is a rebirth. Breath coming in is rebirth; breath going out is death. The outgoing breath is synonymous with death; the incoming breath is synonymous with life. So with each breath you are dying and being reborn. The gap between the two is of a very short duration, but keen, sincere observation and attention will make you feel the gap. If you can feel the gap, Then nothing else is needed. You are blessed, you have known; the thing has happened.

Try it. Suddenly you will get the point – and you can get it; it is already there. Nothing is to be added to you or to your structure, it is already there. Everything is already there except a certain awareness.

SO HOW TO DO THIS ?

First, become aware of the breath coming in. Watch it. Forget everything, just watch breath coming in – the very passage.

When the breath touches your nostrils, feel it there. Then let the breath move in. Move with the breath fully consciously. When you are going down, down, down with the breath, do not miss the breath. Do not go ahead and do not follow behind, just go with it. Remember this: do not go ahead, do not follow it like a shadow; be simultaneous with it.

Breath and consciousness should become one. The breath goes in – you go in. Only then will it be possible to get the point which is between two breaths.

Be aware. When the breath is going in move with it, and when the breath is going out move with it. Do simply this: going in, going out, with the breath.

You will suddenly become aware that there is no breath, and the moment will come when you will feel that the breath is neither going out nor coming in. The breath has stopped completely. In that stopping, The Beneficence.

This one technique is enough for millions. The whole of Asia tried and lived with this technique for centuries. Tibet, China, Japan, Burma, Thailand, Ceylon – the whole of Asia except India has tried this technique. Only one technique and thousands and thousands have attained enlightenment through it.

-- From The Book of Secrets

NOW , HOW YOU CAN USE THIS TO ENTER THE VOID :

Sit or Lay down in a comfortable position

Now start Focusing on your breath Be aware. When the breath is going in move with it, and when the breath is going out move with it. Do simply this: going in, going out, with the breath.

You will suddenly become aware that there is no breath, and the moment will come when you will feel that the breath is neither going out nor coming in. The breath has stopped completely.

Whilst doing this you will notice that ur body is now completely numb , there r NO intrusive thoughts etc..and this is the time when u gotta affirm for void AND I KID YOU NOT U R GONNA ENTER THE VOID INSTANTLY , mark my words , INSTANTLY !

That's it ! This is the most easiest and yet the most powerful technique u can use to enter the void I SWEAR !! ♡

#void #void state #law of assumption #void success #void state success story #loassumption #void challenge

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fuck-hamas-go-israel · 10 months

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Hamas is a heinous, murderous, vile terrorist group that’s intent on killing Jews.

But you can’t say they haven’t been honest about their intentions. Their manifesto, the interviews they’ve given, and the way they try to brainwash children through schools and media content have all been quite blatant in showing their modus operandi.

However, despite their very brutal honesty, why do Hamas-sympathisers try so hard to make Hamas look like good guys by defending literal crimes in the most insane ways?

It’s worrying and also shocking as these hypocrisies are such common sentiments coming from college campuses, which were once institutions that honed critical thinking.

Do they think that “kill all Jews” is a code phrase for “we want our territory back”? How do you possibly interpret open calls for the annihilation of Jews in any other way than what it is?

Do they not think that kidnapping women, raping and torturing them, and parading their naked, mutilated bodies around town to sexually humiliate them while men cheer is sexual violence against women? Isn’t this a feminist issue, part of the MeToo movement?

“Think about the children!” Yes, but when babies are beheaded and burned, when 4 year olds are kidnapped and orphaned, is claiming that these are AI-generated images and ripping down the posters of the hostages thinking of the children?

They cry out about war crimes but ignore that raping women and taking hostages are literally war crimes.

They scream to boycott companies for their ties to Israel using devices with technology designed in Israel. Will they give up their life’s pleasures because of their ties to Israel? My money is on no, because it’ll affect them personally and heaven forbid they take up activism that actually would inconvenience them in the slightest.

They claim to be experts in geopolitics after watching one TikTok video and claim that this is about territory and not antisemitism while also saying that Israelis can just “go back to whichever other country they also have citizenship in”. While turning a blind eye to the multiple antisemitic attacks around the world, and calling Israelis “white colonisers”.

They also claim to be champions of mental health awareness, experts in the psychological mechanisms of mental illnesses and take cautions to avoid triggers and micro-aggressions so as to not offend those who have psychological conditions. “We should let those who actually have these conditions speak up about their experiences!!”

But then when it comes to actual psychologically stressing situations like being kidnapped and taken hostage, they suddenly can speak for the hostages and know exactly what went on based on the most vacuous, flimsy evidence? “Oh she’s in love with her captor, she’s smiling at him! They’re smiling and waving, they must have been treated nicely by Hamas!”

How do they sleep at night with these competing ideologies in their heads? What do they achieve by making all these seem like the actions of good people?

They’re like Hamas’ PR team and defence attorneys rolled into one.

No matter what crime Hamas commits, they’ll come up with justifications and make it look like some kind of beneficent act of humanitarianism.

It’s so exhausting trying to reason with people who don’t see reason.

#i stand with israel #israel #palestine #gaza #am yisrael chai #pro israel #stop hamas #hamas #stop antisemitism #jewish #judaism #i’m so tired #how can people still deny that hamas is a terrorist organisation #free palestine from hamas

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germiyahu · 4 months

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It is absolutely disgusting to frame Jews as "ungrateful brats" for daring to (correctly) say "nobody came to our aid in WWII" while you yourself are being an ungrateful brat stomping your feet and screaming and crying that over 400,000 Americans "gave their lives to save the Jews."

This patronizing and frankly victim blaming "community notes" on a speech made by Netanyahu is pretty damning! I smell some Hitler particles coming off of this, what about you? And we all know Netanyahu is a criminal clown but this quote:

Was not incorrect.

It says so much about how you view the Holocaust if you agree with the American (and other Allies') perspective on the Shoah. History says otherwise. The Allies only cared about the Shoah when it was politically beneficial and convenient to frame themselves as liberators and heroes.

They turned boats carrying Jewish refugees away, the USSR sank some of them, drowning hundreds. All these governments denied entry visas. The United States allowed Nazi sympathizers to hold rallies and stage protests, while normal Americans prided themselves on their neutrality (more Americans were sympathetic to Syrian refugees entering in the 2010s than Jewish refugees in the 1930s).

American (and British) forces entering "liberated" camps were often "shocked" by what they found. And yet the world knew for years about Hitler's antisemitism, the Nuremburg Laws, Kristallnacht. So not only were they aware of the danger posed to Jews, most people as well as their governments didn't care. And their "shocked" reaction to discovering evidence of genocide should tell you they certainly weren't motivated to join the war to stop a genocide!

To demand that a people be "grateful" to you for doing nothing and then helping defeat the Nazis (for your own benefit) which stopped the genocide they faced after only a paltry 6 million people were murdered... you are the real brats. Thankfully a few brave naïve Twitter people pointed out under the predictable comments things like the Yad Vashem... or the fact that so many people saying "I've never heard a Jew thank a goyim for anything!" were met with "you probably don't know any Jews lol."

The legacy of the Holocaust/Shoah to people like this is "Worship us, sanctify our names and deepthroat our cocks forever because we think we saved you." Like how dare you think Jews should forever be on their knees kissing your feet because you deigned to "end" a genocide after 80% of Europe's Jewry was gone. Your true colors show the moment any Jews ever question America's exceptionalism and beneficence. This happens a lot. If an Israeli ever says a single thing that does less than imply sunshine comes out of America's ass, a lot of the (right wing) American non Jewish Israel supporters immediately go off the fucking rails and "threaten" to stop their support.

This is the dangerous side of American Philosemitism. Because without fail, and I mean without fail, this jingoistic kneejerk temper tantrum instinct in Americans invites literal Holocaust deniers to come out of their toilets and start spewing their vile nonsense. And do you know what all of these people crying about their peepaw's sacrifice for those ungrateful Christ Killers say in response to these Nazis? Nothing.

Their support for Jews is entirely contingent on how much Jewish people kiss their asses, or how much they perceive Jewish people to be kissing their asses, and America's ass. Childish!

#holocaust #shoah #antisemitism #philosemitism

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generallypredisposedtoviolence · 1 year

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this was so hard to get out i started cooking and then i didnt for like. checks calendar. two weeks.

[ID: A back and white Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint comic with red accents for Kim Dokja's demon horns, blood, and some text. It starts with Kim Dokja in Demon King of Salvation form, faceless and with tattered wings as fog flows around him. Narration says, "It's hard not to be afraid of death". We see Lee Sookyung kneeling in front of young Dokja next to a pool of blood. He is bloody, and she takes a knife from him. "When it has been with you for most of your life (as meager as it is)."

Next, a scene of a crowd all facing away from an open window. A desk with feathers laying atop it is pulled up to the window, and more feathers float in the window. "You've tasted it before / (albeit fleetingly)." An upside-down younger Kim Dokja facing away from the viewer. "You're getting distracted."

We see DKOS Dokja again, wings full and black as he faces his company with his back to the viewer. Narration says, "Focus, Kim Dokja." Fog flows out of the panel. "Close your eyes." We see three Kim Dokja's, all with their faces cut out except for eyes: One with a bloody hole through his torso, one injured and on fire, and the center one seemingly whole except for cracks in his horns. The center Dokja spreads his hands with his eyes closed almost beneficently. "This won't hurt you." End ID]

thank you again to @princess-of-purple-prose for the ID!!!

#orv fanart #my art #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #if you squint #han sooyoung #also if you squint #orv #comic #here's a fun question: in the last panel is dokja talking to himself or his companions?#tw suicide #tw gore #tw blood

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dailyadventureprompts · 6 months

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Villain: Jysh'parun, Outergod of Unwelcoming Earth

As distant and ancient as a mountain, as scornful as an axebitten tree

Many philosophies debate and negotiate the relation of mortals to their environment. Some see nature as a thing to be tamed in the name of survival, domesticated, exploited. Others proffer a more symbiotic path, a holistic system to be protected and stewarded.

Beyond these there are the ravings of those claimed by Jysh'parun, who claim that mortals have no right to exist at all, and survive merely by the beneficence of the trees and stones. While all but the most foolish agree that heed must be paid to nature, none but those under the unwelcoming earths dominion would think that there is some geological-feudal hierarchy to which we must all submit.

This then is the paradox of the Unbowing Mountain: a god that claims the worship of things that do not traditionally think, but views nature through a distinctly mortal lens of domination and hierarchy. It's an absurdity bordering on being a joke, atleast until Jysh'parun's influence washes over the land and the forest marches off to war while the rivers start demanding tribute.

Adventure Hooks:

Having come into possession of a disused tract of land, a young farming couple were picking the stones from their new field in preparation for planting when they came across the petrified remains of some indescribable horror. Resembling nothing so much as a horse sized mandrake-root with teeth, they've reached out to neighbours, the sheriff, even the local wizard looking for advice about what to do... only to wake up one morning and find the thing gone. Theft or reanimation are both equally alarming possibilities, and the whole region has been on edge since.

Having been thought dead for years after being lost in a winter storm, a dwarven cartographer descends from the mountains claiming to be their mouthpiece and demanding sacrifices in their name. Her words at first go unheeded, at least until the glacial rivers begin to run with noxious acid, transforming back only when something living is thrown in. Farms and villages are drying out and grisly offerings of livestock now fail to meet her standards she claims the mountains will only be satisfied when the people of the realm throw their rulers in and swear fealty to the peaks on high.

The king's palace is in chaos after a coup took place in the royal gardens, specifically when the great tree that shaded his majesty's favourite thinking bench stabbed him in the back with one of it's branches and then skampered off to replant itself on the throne with the crown in tow. Before Anyone knew what was happening, greenery had overtaken the palace locking most outside while trapping certain vital hostages inside.

Inspirations: Something that's all too often lost in the "madness and tentacles" misinterpretation of eldritch horror is that much of the genre is spun off from the particular phobias of HP lovecraft. When we use the iconography without understanding the anxieties behind it, we risk creating a shallow B movie version of the horror we want our audience to feel.

To write good horror then, we need to draw off fears we understand, and with Jysh'parun I wanted to tap into climate anxiety in a way I don't think I've seen before. We've all resigned ourselves to the fact that climate change is happening, with the understanding that its being driven by the bullheaded egos and greed of people who are so powerful their perspective on life bears no resemblance to anything we could possibly conceive of. Translate their willingness to let us suffer for the sake of profit into a psudo historical fantasy context and you get the Unwelcoming Earth: widening sinkholes that demand tolls from passersby while an approaching tsunami proclaims the divine right of kings. It's not only absurd it's fundamentally idiotic but that it doesn't mean it won't destroy you and everyone you know.

Worshippers: Delusional druids and geomancers. Goliaths and dwarvenkind who get too into being "children of the mountain". Sentient trees, Living crystals, and other elemental entities who seek to put themselves "above" other forms of life. Corrupted primoridals.

Signs: Aberrations that resemble roots or stone spontaneously emerging from nature, acid flowing from normally clear running springs, statues of lordly alien figures carved from erosion, not tools. Proclimations in an unknowable script engraved deep under the earth or on monumental scale.

Symbols: A glyph resembling a mountain range or branches of a tree in the shape of a crown.

Titles: The Unbowing Mountain, The Insuperable, King of all Corners,

Artsource

#outergod #lovecraftian #deity #divinity: earth #divinity: disaster #disaster #field #mountain #highlands #encounter mountain #encounter highlands #Jysh'parun

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aquitainequeen · 3 months

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Dwelling on the theme of abundance in Furiosa, and how people are ready and willing to kill in order to protect their copious bounty - but they're severely lacking the resources to do so.

Mary Jabassa sets off after the bikers who kidnapped Furiosa, determined to rescue her daughter and protect the Green Place...armed only with a sniper rifle and a handful of bullets. That's it. And she sets off alone because she knows the Vuvalini can't spare anyone other than her; all the other warriors are needed to guard the Green Place. How many bullets and rifles do they have between them?

Immortan Joe has an army of nearly a thousand War Boys and is able to effectively defend the Citadel and all the abundance within, but their failure to prevent the capture and hijacking of a War Rig is what gives Dementus the key to Gas Town. The Black Thumbs of the Citadel constantly have to build bigger and better rigs to allow the three Wasteland fortresses to safely trade with each other, otherwise the whole system will collapse.

Dementus is granted control of Gas Town, loudly proclaiming what a beneficent ruler he will be...and then runs the place into the ground, whether by design or via incompetence. Lacking the mental resources to operate with such power and responsibility or the physical resources that Joe intentionally and deliberately withheld. He gains and loses the Bullet Farm in perhaps a day and the abundance of weaponry and producing those weapons is lost or destroyed, because he and his forces had no way of reckoning with the powerhouses of Furiosa and Jack.

Even during the 40 Days War Scrotus, one of the sons of Immortan Joe, is prevented from going out into the battlefield because his car has lost a wheel and a suitable replacement is elusive. Even one of the most important men in the Citadel, surrounded by an abundance of vehicles, must wait and stew while the War Boys desperately try to find a way to get his car moving again.

#some thoughts on abundance #furiosa #furiosa spoilers #furiosa a mad max saga #furiosa: a mad max saga #mary jabassa #dementus #immortan joe #scabrous scrotus #Did Mary Jabassa give her machete back to the Vuvalini General?#I forget

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brabblesblog · 3 months

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Without garlic I simply would not care to live, or

The vampire ascendant discovers the virtues of the humble garlic.

Here's a small AA/batstarion x reader fic that I wrote for a giveaway on Twitter!

Read on AO3

The slice was laid out before him, plated carefully by the chamberlain, accompanied by a small block of butter and a knife.

The smell was familiar, although it no longer had that acrid tang that made his lip curl. Instead it was… pleasant, in the way the smell of blood did - soft notes of toasted bread, accompanied with that scent, the one he’d avoided for centuries - it made his mouth water.

From your usual seat, you inclined your head at him.

“Are you going to keep staring at it, or are you going to take a bite?’

Astarion shot you a glare, scoffing. “I am savouring it.”

“You could savor it once you’ve actually tasted it.” You reached for your own slice and bit down, chewing aggressively at him. He pointedly ignored you in favor of lifting his piece between thumb and forefinger, staring at it as if it would suddenly strike him.

Pausing with bated breath, you waited.

He narrowed his eyes at you one last time, and sank his teeth in.

That was the last time you’ve had a meal that didn’t involve garlic in some major way. If you were honest, it was to be expected. Astarion was always a man who chose to indulge himself; it just so happened that garlic was his new vice.

Almost every meal now came with it, and slowly you began to… not hate it. If you were honest you never really could hate it-

Tire of it. Yes, that was the word.

You grumbled every meal as the mind link was opened, the taste of garlic suffusing your senses as he bit down and moaned.

Shaking your head, you grumbled. “How much longer, until this obsession fades, love?”

“Until I’ve at least tried every dish involving it, and even then, only perhaps.”

“Have you considered eating it raw?” The thought wasn’t purely out of simple beneficence; you figured the taste would be so bad it would snap him out of this obsession.

Gods. You had taken a sip from his wineglass the other day, and almost gagged - even the blood had been infused with it!

To any normal vampire that would have meant retching. To you, it seemed as if he had extended his immunity to garlic. There was that, at least. The mixture, however, still felt… unholy, and you bit back a snarl as you set his drink down.

“Astarion! Gods- what is this?”

He flicked his eyes over at you, a smirk toying at his lips. “It was an experiment. There are two things I love most in this world-” his eyes raked over you, “other than you, of course. Blood, and well…”

“Garlic,” you supplied for him. Unbelievable. He nodded.

“It didn’t take long for this idea to take hold. Were I to combine both, something no other vampire could do… would it taste heavenly, or…”

He waved his hand. You sensed hesitation there, and prodded.

“It tasted like shit, didn’t it?”

Astarion refused to answer, and you snorted. “I don’t need the mental link to know how rancid this mixture is, given how it smells.”

“Then I need not provide you with further answers, do I?”

You had tackled him with a kiss at that point, too annoyed and amused to do much else.

His voice brought you out of your thoughts. “Darling?”

“Sorry. Still thinking about that whole… garlic-infused monstrosity you had the other day. You were saying?”

“Raw,” he repeated. “It might be a tad too strong, considering the scent, but I would not mind trying.”

Before you could say much else he already waved a servant over, asking for one from the kitchens. You placed your chin on your palm, the smallest shake of the head the only thing you managed to say in response.

“Astarion… I was kidding.” At his raised eyebrow, you sighed. “Perhaps half-kidding, then.”

He hummed in assent. “And yet some places do ingest their garlic raw. Besides, what harm could it do?”

The answer, as it turned out, was a lot.

He ate a clove, commenting on how it burned on its way down - much like fine vintage, which made you groan - but the watering of his eyes told you everything you needed to know. That, and the way he put the rest of it aside, gingerly pushing the plate away with his index and middle finger, as though it were some caustic, poisonous thing.

A small well of satisfaction filled you. Perhaps the days of smelling garlic every meal would be over. Astarion ate the rest of his meal in relative silence, one you were all too happy to let stretch.

“I must be off,” came his voice, breaking the silence. He looked at you, eyes soft, hand reaching to cover your own. “A quick meeting, a survey of the new balustrade… you wouldn’t miss me too much, would you?”

You pushed your plate away and took a small sip from your goblet. “Probably not.”

You would, of course. But he and you both enjoyed this little game. Astarion huffed and stood, buttoning his suit jacket. Leaning in for a kiss, he whispered into your ear.

“Be a dear and await me in our bedchambers, my love. I assure you your… patience, if you do so, will be generously rewarded.”

As sweet as those words were, however, his breath was anything but. The tang of garlic filled your nostrils and you hissed, pushing him away with a playful swat of your hand.

“Gods, no. Maybe another day?”

He paused, sniffing his own breath, eyebrows raising in surprise and amusement. “Mm. Perhaps await me in the bathroom, then? I could always bathe and clean myself before coming to you.”

“Brush your teeth twice,” you held up a finger, “and I’ll consider letting you kiss me.”

The laugh that answered you as he left the dining room was nothing short of music to your ears.

When he finally came to the bedroom, it was as a white bat, flying in through the open windows. But he did so in such an ungainly manner, wings flapping as he fought to right himself, landing on the bed with a graceless thump.

You looked down at him, watching his ears lie flat against his skull. He had caught you by surprise - his usual schedule meant that you had not expected him to come back for another hour. A small, plaintive squeak answered your silent inquiry.

My stomach.

He folded his wings, curling into himself, resembling a small, rather fuzzy ball. Concern won out; you picked him up and set him on your belly, peering at him.

What happened?

Those large eyes refused to meet yours. Tucking his head under a wing, he burbled.

The garlic did not seem to agree with this… physiology.

Ah. You ran your index finger down his back, from the mop of fur resembling the usual swoop of his hair, down his spine. He shivered pleasantly, eyes peeking out at you from a velvety wing.

You must find this amusing. The eyes narrowed, and he chittered. Don’t you?

You shook your head, your hand continuing its slow, gentle strokes. He leaned against your touch, pressing his small body against your fingers. No- ow!

He had nipped you. Sighing, you shrugged. Okay. Perhaps a little. I do honestly think you’ve overdone this whole… garlic thing.

My love, came the response, decidedly exasperated even through the mental link, I have not had it in centuries. You can’t possibly blame me for indulging!

You reached towards his front, gently poking his belly. I think you indulge far too much for a little bat.

That was met by a squawk of surprise and offense; fangs sank into your finger again, and you allowed him to latch onto it. He sucked, eyes narrowed, as the blood no doubt soothed his upset stomach. You rubbed his back again, a gesture of atonement. That was rewarded by a much happier squeak. There was a flutter of wings as he shifted, getting a better angle to feed.

Better? The silence had been filled by the sounds of his feeding, and the feel of his downy fur. It was now sticking up everywhere, and as his fangs detached from your finger he shook himself, attempting to rearrange it.

Spreading his wings he looked down at himself, sighing dejectedly when the fur still looked mussed. Baleful eyes fixed on yours.

You ruined my hair.

At least your stomach doesn’t hurt anymore?

There was a small huff, one that amazed you - even in this form his penchant for dramatics was not lessened one bit. He flopped down against you. I suppose I can accept that compromise.

No one’s going to see you anyway, you retort.

The smallest tilt of his head was a sign of begrudging acquiescence. He shut his eyes, ears flicking lazily as he eased into your embrace. Running your hands down his back, you scratched behind his ears. A coo escaped him at this, his snout pressed against your body.

If there was one thing about this whole debacle that you liked, you thought, it was getting your little bat to come cuddle far earlier in the day than he usually would.

Between that, and the small, sleepy purr he just made as he nuzzled you, the endless days of tasting garlic were worth it.

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mitsuyaya · 3 months

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[ through the hallways ] ushijima wakatoshi

contains: 3k+ words (lmao don't even know I can write this long). no warnings for now except for: mentions of illness and death, classism, ushjima's pov

summary: Ushjima had a feeling that this would be, if not, one of the best days of his life, because he's finally going to ask the princess to finally quit being a knight. But soon enough, those came crumbling as the royal physician had news — you don't have much time to live.

end note: idfk how I manage to write 3k+ words of this supposed to be word dump from here but eh, knight ushi my beloved <3 also I posted this on ao3 as well if you prefer to read there

ao3 | in the garden where she roams masterlist | haikyuu masterlist

Becoming a knight was never Ushijima’s dream nor was it something he thoroughly enjoyed. Sure, serving the royal family and protecting the common folks had its benefices: hefty pay, the recognition and utmost respect but in truth, it doesn't hold a candle to what he actually dreamt of when he was younger.

To become a farmer faraway from the feuds of varying countries that happen almost every week, faraway from the gossips that sweeps the entire land, most importantly faraway from his relatives that would always degrade his entire being even now that he has became one of the respectable knight of the entire country.

Ushjima shakes off that thought, none of that would matter after this, they would no longer bother him and he would finally achieve his lifelong dream after his conversation with the princess. He stole a glance to the window on the side, various carriages entering the palace, shouts of guards and maids to check the cargos.

Ah, that's right, the spring festival is coming. In a few days, the grandest of events would be held in the capital: street performers would crowd the streets along with carts with various trinkets, foods and clothes, and of course the highlight of the event was the fireworks show, oh how he missed those festivities, a time when he wasn't a slave of the battlefield.

The festivities don't end there though, it's a week-long celebration that coincides with the founding of the country so naturally it'll be more grandeur than the common festival. And at the end of the week, a ball would be held at the palace of the king and queen for the nobilities.

Ushijima looks forward to the upcoming event, this time he'd finally got the chance to enjoy the events in the capital without being held up by another declaration of war from some country he isn't even aware of. Finally he could also enjoy the ball without being restricted to his armor and guarding the royal family, furthermore he would be free now to interact with the nobles his age that he had befriended over the years.

He would thoroughly enjoy the spring festival this year but for now he must make his way to your room to put his plan into action.

The walk towards the princess’ room was long since she lived in a completely different wing as the other members of the royal family (he doesn't know why though but that knowledge is completely beneath him).

His mind was suddenly bombarded with the thoughts of his journey when he was starting to become a knight. It truly wasn't a dream of his when he was still a child. Picking up a sword and decapitating the nation's enemy doesn't really thrill him as much as harvesting the wheat he worked so hard to grow, the wheat which he read books how to properly take care of.

Ushijima used to hear his relatives and the other kids call him strange, strange for wanting something simple, something only plebeians would enjoy, instead of aspiring greater things like his cousin who is on his way to become a professor in the royal academy. Strange for not using the authority he has, he isn't a common folk, he's the son of a count, therefore he should act like those prim and perfect nobles he always saw during the spring ball.

In all honesty, Ushijima thought about it once, while he was still studying in the royal academy. His friend, Tendou, had asked him before if he would want to assume his position as the count, rule his designated area and then get married to one of the daughters of the aristocrats.

It is a common occurrence, a cyclical outcome for sons and daughters born from nobility. Ushijima could say for certain that choosing that route would be the most stable out of the others. You'd never fear being starved or being one of those poor beggars in the street or worse, be subjected to discrimination because of your occupation or social status.

Yet, as fascinating as it sounds, Ushijima only answered that it wasn't a lifestyle he would see himself in the long run. Sure, nobility had it easy in terms of extravagance and respect but underneath it all, there is the unavoidable situation in which you must shake hands and bump shoulders with the other aristocrats.

And those nobles aren't opponents he would like to face, ever. In contrast to what he's used to during the war: clashes of swords upon swords, cannons from either side ringing in your ears and by the end of it the soldiers who remain standing upon the piles of dead bodies, will be declared the victor.

This battle however, is one where you would face death agonizingly slow, it's a battle of insults laced into sickeningly sweet smiles, selfish schemes in the guise of friendly companionship it's a tedious, methodological war that only leaves you something worse than death — public humiliation.

Being casted like an insignificant pebble on the side of the road, with death you can escape the contempt from a thousand of people but with this kind of punishment it strips you off your morale and wrings you dry of life from the inside out.

Aside from that, you would always be subjected to constantly watching your back — enemies from different sides of the country, threatening you to hand over all your possessions — and even if he was as strong as he is now, a person can only take so many threats before he breaks and will inevitably lead to his demise.

Tendou said he was being a pessimist, obviously he doesn't know much about the workings of nobilities as well as how awful socializing with them actually is, if that was his reply. Nothing is worth romanticizing the rich when they're just like the common folks: same people, different classes, same jewels, different sparkle.

Speaking of his friend, after he's been relieved from his post he would visit him, talk about the past, if Tendou had ever managed to court that lady he would so fondly tell him about or if his pastry business is doing well these days. Perhaps he could even tell him about what he's been doing since the last time they met, the nations he visited (if only for knightly duties), and he might as well share stories about the princess he's serving.

It felt ethically wrong to share information about your employer though, but it's not like Tendou would tell anyone, he's capable of keeping secrets and he's actually kind (if he wasn't teasing him most of the time). Besides, it's not like the princess has any private details that would ruin her reputation if leaked out and most especially, it's not like she has any respectable reputation to begin with.

Ah, why did that do something to his chest though?

Does he actually feel bad for thinking that?

Maybe.

It's not like the princess is a bad employer or a bad person overall.

So why does it seem like he dislikes her?

Well, Ushijima remembers the root of it very clearly. Before he became a knight and all, he always believed that royalties had this certain atmosphere surrounding them: the everlasting countenance of complete authorization, regal and graceful, a picture-perfect leader ruling his subjects. He admires the way they hold themselves, completely different from most nobles. Ushijima could even understand why most commoners perceive them as Gods and Goddesses, it's in the way they carry themselves truly.

But all of a sudden, when he finally acquired the position of becoming a royal member’s guard, the princess' personal knight, his beliefs had been crushed ever so cruelly by his employer nonetheless.

She's so unlike the king and queen he greeted a few hours prior. Here in her personal garden, the princess has her head hung low as if she's afraid of him, as if she's the one who has been recently knighted, cowering behind her-what seems to be-head maid. To make matters worse, he spotted dirt in the hem of his gown, dirt that looks like the soil from the garden, dirt that looks like you would only get that when you run through the field like some naive little child.

Oh, how unrefined, so undignified.

For that, for ruining his belief, Ushijima decides at that moment that he doesn't like you.

Then again, besides his perfect logic about royalty that was disintegrated by you, it's not like the princess is a bad employer or generally a bad person.

Contrary to rumors and accusations, the princess gave him full autonomy of her side of the palace, let him say or do what he wants to without having her status threatened to use on him. Unlike most of the nobility employers he heard from his fellow knight, the princess doesn't throw things towards him—throw expensive vases and cost them injury, even worse their life, she doesn't insult him and put him down because of his stature and by God, she doesn't use him for sexual purposes like most lady in power does.

She's…a rare gem honestly. Diamond in the rough sort of thing.

When her father is a cunning and calculating leader, she's an intelligent but still a bit naive princess.

When her mother is a strong-willed schemer, she's a timid, ‘can't-hurt-a-single-animal’ kind of soul.

When her brothers are active and strong fighters, she's a nonchalant mediator, the one who prefers a soothing cup of tea in solving national disputes.

If not for his initial beliefs about royalty and the disaster first meeting, he thinks that you are actually suited for your role as a princess. Despite thinking that you could solve battles with a submissive facade and hot tea, Ushjima admits that you actually make excellent plans and are able to twist the situation in your favor (which is a really great feat now that he thinks about it.)

Apart from that, he actually enjoys your company, if he's not letting his unfavorable opinion of you get the best of him, that is.

Ushijima remembered a time when the wheel of the carriage broke while you're on the way home after a visit from the boutique. He was actually having a mental conversation with himself about the purpose of this, because if he remembers correctly, there's a royal tailor that they can call to the palace so they don't have to go outside. But alas, he resigned to his fate, one of your childish whims he supposed.

The driver told you that it'll take a while, instead of threatening him to be removed from his position (just like your second brother did before) you just smiled and told him that you'll be fine, you can entertain yourself from the meantime.

It's strange and it's oddly admirable. So unbefitting of your title.

It never fails to make him curious if you really are your father's and mother's daughter when you don't even act remotely to them. Even more so when you're now headed to the field of flowers across the road, from your head maid, he learned that you love flowers and the garden where you receive your guests is what you tend to personally.

Again, strange but oddly admirable.

You, uncaring of your very expensive, very glamorous gown, sat on the ground with so much grace that it actually feels out of place. Ushijima offered you to stand up so he could take off his coat and you could sit on it instead but again, just like you did with the driver, you smiled and rejected his offer, then you turned your attention to the flower beside you and talk to it like it magically has the ability to converse with you.

If anyone can read his mind they would've imprisoned him for lese-majeste because all he's thinking about is why in the actual hell do you have to sit on a dirty field just to talk to some flowers who aren't even capable of replying to you?

Are you actually an imbecile pretending to be wise when there is someone who's in power in front of you?

This is honestly another reason why he doesn't like you, even if your second brother is rash and kind of childish sometimes, he wouldn't do stupid things like this. Your brother would much rather die than sit or lie in the ground full of dirt and things he doesn't even know where it came from.

And then all of a sudden his internal turmoil had halted, you were calling out to him, in that soft, silvery voice. He can practically remember the words you uttered clearly: “I know you are thinking that I am quite strange” quite is an understatement, he would like to tell you that in fact you are absolutely, without a doubt, strange.

“I get that a lot. To everyone else, when you are in a position such as mine, doing things like this…” you plucked the flower you were holding before, twisting it side by side “Is unbecoming and inappropriate. That is why most nobles tend to hide what they truly wanted” you lift the flower to your nose, closing your eyes to enjoy its scent.

Ushjima knew what you meant. It usually happens for most nobles. For instance, he remembered his old friend at the academy, Semi. He's a future viscount, sent to the academy to hopefully assume his father's position when he comes of age.

Semi admitted that he doesn't want to be a viscount, he wants to pursue his passion in music, he doesn't want to be caged in a life of farce pleasantries. He wants to be liberated, be like those musicians in the street who perform not out of money but because they want to share their passion for the art and to bring joy to the people who would stop to listen.

Although it was an absolutely excellent dream, Semi said that it wasn't realistic, his father and mother even put down his ambition like it's some type of taboo, even running away isn't an option because his family can still use their money to bring him back.

Ushijima admires Semi for that, and even if deep inside he knows that the advice he gave wasn't reassuring and even comforting, he hoped that eventually he could achieve his dream.

All of this to say is that nobles look down on you the more you act like the commoners, more like the people beneath their feet. They would scoff at you when you showed them even a hint of what you truly desire to do, they would tell you that ‘you're of power why waste yourself into something so insignificant?’ As he said before, socializing and breathing in the same air with the nobles is enduring a long-standing battle of toxicity.

You opened your eyes now, caressing the petals of the flower, smiling to yourself “But to me, it is even strange not doing what you want”

That hit Ushijima the most. He remembers being the odd one out from the rest of his family, their passion is gaining power and his was to be a simple farmer. Even if it's truly something he finds joy in doing, his relatives would always tell him it's a strange thing to dream of, because he's the son of a count. But now, he's trying to fulfill his lifelong dream even if he's one of the country's respected knights. It is very strange.

Huh. he realized, you're right.

For the first time since he met you, Ushijima might just understand your ways of acting and thinking.

His recollection of the past came to a screeching halt the moment he became face to face to the door of your room. There was a man's voice inside, a voice that doesn't belong to you or to the other knights that are under you, it was the voice of the royal physician.

What was he doing here?

As someone who's the knight of the very person who owns this room, he shouldn't be standing in front of the door and most importantly, he shouldn't be eavesdropping on your evidently private conversation. But the voice of the royal physician cut him off before he could even process how unethical this is.

“I’m really sorry princess, I will try my best to find a cure-”

Cure? What does that mean?

Why will he find a cure? Is the princess sick?

“Do not worry yourself about me, I am simply well aware that my time in this world wouldn't be for long…” he heard someone sniffle “...And please do not cry. I am very thankful that you are willing to go to such lengths but I do not want to burden you with piling work from my family.”

Ushijima can imagine the smile you usually wear when you are conversing with someone, the indifference in your voice and especially the way you still prioritize your family above your own well-being — it's making him mad, hands curling into a fist as he dig his nail deeper into his palm.

Why is he mad though?

Why would he be mad?

He doesn't even like you, why would he feel such things?

“I do not care if I'll die, no one wants me to live anyways” You said it quietly that the doctor wouldn't hear you but to him, to Ushijima he heard it loud and clear, so distinct that he wishes he didn't have to hear it in the first place.

He stumbled backwards, he understands now, perhaps the reason why he is feeling angry is because you can speak about your impending death without an ounce of emotion.

That it's like you had embraced the idea of succumbing to your illness, instead of threatening or breaking down or to beg them to find a cure, like a normal person would. And yet, you just speak so lightly of your situation, smiled and welcomed your miserable future.

And then there's this miniscule voice inside his head, one that flashes him the memory of you and him in the field of flowers, every now and then, it tells him that perhaps the real reason why Ushijima felt this way is because he can no longer serve and protect the lady who have stolen his heart without him even knowing.

#ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x you #ushijima wakatoshi imagine #ushijima wakatoshi fluff #ushijima wakatoshi angst #ushijima x reader #ushijima x you #ushijima fluff #ushijima angst #ushjima imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagine

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philosophicalconservatism · 3 months

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"Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding"

Louis Brandeis (1856-1941) U.S. Supreme Court justice

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precious-little-scoundrel · 6 months

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what's mr. cleven like...down there, yk? obv he's packing, but i want details

Oh Nonnie, I love how these asks are starting to feel like a naughty sleepover, come on in, I’ve got the peppermint tea ready and the fairy lights on and posters of the Major staring beneficently down at us from the wall…he might turn a little pink at what I’m about to say but he can’t contradict me, he’s an honest man after all, and won’t countenance a lie

nsfw (AF) below the cut:

He’s packing alright, but he’s not packing in the grower, holy shit that’s not kosher or legal have a medic on standby Donkey Dick way of Major Egan. Instead he’s pretty much the shape and length and girth of an averagely large sex toy: in plainer words, he’s proportioned like God wanted to really give us recipients a treat both for the feels and the visual. Because he’s quite long, deliciously substantial around but not to the point of toting around a can of Bushes Baked Beans sorta circumference. What lays on his thigh when he’s soft is what you’re gonna get for the most part, he just swells up a little bit when excited. He’s a shower over a grower for sure but hey, it’s an impressive show as is.

Made more-so by the way it juts from those lean hips…

We can’t forget the veins. The veins are gorgous and they ripple and intertwine in ivory skin so prettily the whole of it could be a prototype for a church pillar or the next phallic-coded national monument. But not all of it is ivory skin and blue veins, the tip, oh my dears- the fat tip of him! Blunt and large as anything, I’m deeply distressed to inform you it’s every bit as pretty a shade as his lips and every bit as pronounced as them, too.

And the sheer amount of sputtering dribble that comes from it long before his climax arrives makes for the prettiest glaze all over.

And in case you think I just pulled this out of thin air, enjoy some evidence on at least a few aspects:

#masters of the air #thinking Gale thots #Gale Cleven #austin butler #naughty sleepover #cock-versations

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sinisteryuri · 6 months

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NagiReo in Blue Lock and Episode Nagi through a BPD4BPD Lens

For this analysis we will be using the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder from the DSM-5, below, which was last updated in 2013.

We'll be taking a look at Nagi and Reo's behavior in both Blue Lock and Episode Nagi, as well as the trivia included in the Egoist Bible. We will be going through at least five different diagnostic criteria for each of them, before talking about BPD4BPD relationships and the way Nagi and Reo interact as each other's FP's.

Chronic Feelings of Emptiness

First, lets's take a look at Blue Lock.

From his very first appearance, Nagi displays a boredom with day to day tasks and relies on Reo heavily.

Here's a little collage of Nagi's apathy in early Blue Lock.

Meanwhile, Reo is shown to have been chronically bored with life since childhood. He is "easily bored, [] seek[ing] something to do," which he finds in his goal to win the world cup.

Now let's look into Episode Nagi.

Nagi demonstrates a persistent low energy/fatigue. He's bored by self-care activities and taking care of basic needs.

He originally doesn't want to join Blue Lock because of this chronic emptiness/boredom.

Now we move onto the Egoist Bible.

Nagi describes his weakness as "Tend[ing] to find many things bothersome," which is backed up by the panels we looked at earlier.

Reo considers his his weakness to be, "I can do anything and get bored easily." When he describes a day in his life at Blue Lock he says, "When I asked Nagi, "Let's play games," he refused. "Because if you improve quickly, you'll get bored easily," he said. You really know me, I thought, but that made me a bit sad." His boredom is a weakness for him, that both he and others, like Nagi, pick up on.

A Pattern of Unstable and Intense Interpersonal Relationships Characterized by Alternating Between Extremes of Idealization and Devaluation

Here, I'll note the DSM-5's notes from the Diagnostic Features section: "They may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, or is not “there” enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will “be there” in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternatively be seen as beneficent supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts often reflect disillusionment with a caregiver whose nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected."

Again, we first look at Blue Lock.

Nagi demonstrates a positive attitude towards Reo. He looks up to him and is often praising him and mentioning him even when Reo isn't around. However he ends up harshly speaking to Reo after their argument directly after their 3v3 match, showing a rapid switch in emotions triggered by feelings of Reo not caring about their promise.

Reo shows a lot of negative emotions easily. He feels rejected and spiteful because of Nagi leaving him during the second selection. This makes him think of plans to make Nagi take him back, experience the same pain, etc. He continues to describe Nagi as a treasure he found, however, as a person who made his life stop being boring.

Now let's move onto Episode Nagi.

Nagi and Reo share with each other the details of their personal lives very quickly after meeting each other, something mentioned in the DSM-5 as: "shar[ing] the most intimate details early in a relationship." Reo especially does this, but both do.

Reo is also stuck on the idealized idea of playing soccer with Nagi. He makes every effort to make this into a reality, even with the later devaluation he experiences during Blue Lock.

Identity Disturbance: Markedly and Persistently Unstable Self-Image or Sense of Self

The Diagnostic Criteria of the DSM-5 says this: "There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self-image, characterized by shifting goals, values, and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values, and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to that of a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a selfimage that is based on being bad or evil, individuals with this disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of a meaningful relationship, nurturing, and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations," in regards to this criteria.

First, we will take a look at Blue Lock, once again.

Nagi doesn't have a solid identity in football or a goal. He plays depending on Reo. His ego revolves around Reo's and he doesn't have a sense of his own. Nagi cares about Reo deeply and because he started playing football for Reo, he has a hard time developing an identity within football outside of Reo.

Reo has a conflicting set of ideals. He flickers between wanting to be independent and rely on no one and wanting to play with Nagi. This is partially because Nagi is the object of his affection and therefore the center of both his black and white thinking and fear of rejection.

Reo also experiences a disjointed sense of identity within his personal opinion of himself. When faced with Nagi's rejection, Reo's opinion of himself drops exponentially.

Moving on to Episode Nagi.

Nagi is unsure of his identity and stands on shaky ground regarding his worth.

Meanwhile Reo, in contrast to Blue Lock, is confident and happy because of his idealization of Nagi and his dream, showing the instability and fluctuation of his identity.

Finally, let's take a look at the Egoist Bible.

Reo answers that what makes him happy is "Due recognition" and what makes him sad is "preconceived views" showing the way he is influenced by others in his view of himself and his identity.

Frantic Efforts to Avoid Real or Imagined Abandonment

"The perception of impending separation or rejection, or the loss of external structure, can lead to profound changes in self-image, affect, cognition, and behavior. These individuals are very sensitive to environmental circumstances. They experience intense abandonment fears and inappropriate anger even when faced with a realistic time-limited separation or when there are unavoidable changes in plans (e.g., sudden despair in reaction to a clinician’s announcing the end of the hour; panic or fury when someone important to them is just a few minutes late or must cancel an appointment). They may believe that this “abandonment” implies they are “bad.” These abandonment fears are related to an intolerance of being alone and a need to have other people with them."

Let's look at Blue Lock.

Nagi does everything throughout Blue Lock to keep his promise to Reo. This promise is important because it represents their partnership and implies that Reo will stay with him. During the Neo Egoist League, Nagi struggles to convince Reo to play with him again, trying to avoid the rejection of losing Reo as a partner, which would make him feel purposeless.

Meanwhile, Reo often tries to avoid rejection. To him rejection is one of the worst things that could happen. He's always thinking about rejection, about being chosen, about what happens if he isn't chosen.

Now let's look at Episode Nagi.

In Episode Nagi, Nagi's fear of rejection is a little bit clearer. We can go back to the panels showing his sense of self to take a look at his thoughts of just being the tag along or a slacker to see this. He also is determined to stay with Reo in Blue Lock, despite his laziness and lack of motivation because of their promise. When he's insulted he instates himself as Reo's partner and part of a set.

Meanwhile, Reo notices rejection in small things like offhand comments. For example when Nagi passes to Zantetsu and comments on his dream being the same.

Inappropriate, Intense Anger or Difficulty Controlling Anger

The DSM-5 says: "They may display extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness, or verbal outbursts. The anger is often elicited when a caregiver or lover is seen as neglectful, withholding, uncaring, or abandoning. Such expressions of anger are often followed by shame and guilt and contribute to the feeling they have of being evil."

Let's look at Blue Lock for a final time.

Nagi expresses anger towards Isagi when he brings up Reo, because he recently experienced separation from him.

Reo resorts to physical violence on the field when Nagi is brought up in insults.

Now, for Episode Nagi.

Reo has to stop Nagi from getting into a verbal altercation with Barou that would most likely devolve into a physical fight. This started because of Reo being brought up in an insult.

BPD4BPD

This BPD4BPD flag was made by @gender-mailman

BPD4BPD is a label for pwBPD who want to date pwBPD. To me this is an incredibly interesting lens to view NagiReo through because I find that it makes them click as people who understand each other in this specific way of their BPD and yet, because of their clumsy teenage inexperience and because of their independent struggles with it, keep on hurting each other.

I feel like with NagiReo, the way their relationship has developed throughout Blue Lock up until the Neo Egoist League, it's lacking communication. They're both hurting each other in ways that are typical for how they react to rejection and they get stuck in cycles of miscommunication because of it. They both deeply care about each other and I think because they're teenagers who don't really know what they're doing with their friendship or tentative romance or whatever you choose to interpret their relationship as it is turning out exactly as one would expect. I think there's a positive outlook for them which is very exciting to see for two characters who fall so closely within the lines of BPD coding and have such a close and interesting relationship, a BPD4BPD relationship that's really rare to see in media.

In fandom, I see a lot of casual ableism towards Reo especially, perhaps because his coding is more overt, especially in the department of expressing feelings of rejection, which is bleak, but honestly that is something we can work on as a fandom.

Also, please feel free to add to this post if there's anything I missed, especially since my manga reading website is a little bit behind both on Episode Nagi and on Blue Lock, or if there's anything interesting you have to add!

Remember to be kind to your local pwBPD and just all pwPDs and I hope you enjoyed this little dive into NagiReo's theoretical psychology!

#seabirds.txt #blue lock #bllk #nagireo #nagi seishiro #mikage reo #blue lock analysis #blue lock theory #i dont really know if this is anything. i havent made a post with analysis like this before and i feel like its kind of. Bad. but we'll see #wild geese series.

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