#The deeper messages are just so so lovely

[estrellayluna]

In another life

Nanami Kento

Synopsis : You promised yourself that you wouldn’t have the same unfortunate fate that your mother had gone through with love. Until your whole world comes crumbling down discovering your husband’s infidelity. Through tears and heartbreak you recall your mothers last words.

(We all know he would never!!) (please check out link once you see it for visuals!!!)

One text message from an unsaved number. One simple message was the reason your whole world came crumbling down in just seconds.

It was vile. The photo. It seemed as if whoever took the photo was in a rush to capture it. A little blurred in some spots but you could immediately make out what it depicted.

Your husband, Nanami having his arms wrapped around a waist of another woman just steps away from his desk. Whoever the woman was, her head was slightly tilted looking up at him with a smile on her face. Arms loosely wrapped around his shoulder blades.

At a loss for words and seemingly unaware the breaths you were holding in, the sudden ache you felt in your chest was growing deeper. Tears forming just before multiple escaping your eyes.

You didn’t want to believe it, but how could you not? The moment you felt the ache in your chest you knew.

-

4 months earlier

The sounds of monitors and footsteps were faint outside the door of your mothers hospital room. The room’s television on low volume as you peel a bright colored orange.

It has been a while coming but your mothers health has been declining since the last attempt of hope with needed surgery. But unfortunately to no avail.

And as much as you wished for your mother to keep fighting she finally made the decision to leave this world in peace. No more mustering up the little strength she had left to the annoyance of appointments or the continuous failed improvements.

So you devoted your time to spend as much time with your mother as you could.

“How is Nanami doing (Y/N),” your mother asks in a soft voice while looking over to you “he hasn’t come along with you for the past 3 weeks or so. Is everything alright?”

Finally finished with peeling the orange and setting it down you smiled at her, “he’s doing fine mom, just busy at work these days. He actually got promoted up at his office job a few days ago.” You tell her with a smile on your face.

Your mother slightly gasps with joy, clasping your hands with yours she beams.

“I’m so happy to hear that, I’m sure the both of you will continue to live a nice peaceful life together. He’s a good man darling, I’ll be able to leave this world in peace knowing you’ll be well taken care of.”

You smile at her words, a pang of joy and sadness.

Your mother was a single mother raising you all on her own. Your father was in the picture up until the age 11. From then on his visits were some and then eventually no more.

Though you didn’t hate him, you grew up more focused on the fact of trying your best to be a good daughter. Not causing too much stress to your mother.

Your father was your mothers first and only love. Only as time passed by, he became unfaithful. Your mother immediately took action into trying to become the best mother she can be with the so little she had. You grew up to promise yourself you refuse to let the same happen to you. To not let this curse that your father casted upon your mother trickle down to you.

“(Y/N), do you want to know why I always called you my little star,” you mother brings up. you can tell she was growing tired some.

8:30 pm

Visiting hours will end soon.

You hum in response, smoothing out the blanket that lays just between you two.

“Because moths always look for light in the darkness. You are my light and star (Y/N). I will forever be grateful to have had you as my daughter.”

Before visiting hours came to an end your head falls onto her lap, tears streaming down as her hands strokes your hair.

-

Moths look for the light in the darkness

Everything you had planned for, promised yourself and your mother was eradicated. You wanted to scream. To make a mess of everything in this home you two shared.

But you can only frown at the thought of your mother disapproving those actions.

You had no idea what to do.

More importantly, what to do with the hidden pregnancy test you tucked away inside your side of the dresser.

Wiping your tears away, headed towards your shared room you look for the test.

You tried to recall when it must have all changed. Was it when Nanami was promoted at work that he was moved to the upper level of the office building?

You recall the first couple of times you stopped by to deliver him lunch that he had forgotten.

The atmosphere was not as welcoming as his previous position. You had felt out of place when just simply asking for your husband at the front desk.

Rummaging through your belongings looking for the damn test you heard the front door open to your apartment.

8:45 pm

Though it was somewhat late, you hadn’t expect him to arrive just yet.

You froze, not sure of anything anymore.

A part of you wanted to confront him, and the other part of you just wanted to be comforted, to be told it was a fake. Absolutely anything else other than being told it was true.

Is this the end?

Finally spotting the pregnancy test you sat down in the corner of the king size bed. Holding the pregnancy test close to you, but hidden from anyone else’s view.

You hadn’t bothered to put all the clothing that fell from your frantic digging back inside.

So when Nanami walked in your shared bedroom, it was the first thing he saw.

“What the hell happened in here?” Nanami sighed placing his briefcase aside the room.

Nanami noticed your lack on response and the fact you weren’t facing him.

“I didn’t intend to have you find out like this (Y/N),” your eyes slightly widen in shock. Nanami brought his left hand to sooth the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know who must have sent that photo to you. And I don’t intend to let that person have the satisfaction of knowing it actually got to you. Though I do have a few people in mind.” Nanami headed towards the closet to find a more comfortable to change into.

If you didn’t think your heart was beating, his lack of empathy causes your heart to break into a million pieces.

How could he be so calm about this..

“Why Nanami,” your voice trembles, your heart beating faster than ever “what caused this to happen?”

Nanami now finally walked towards you, trying to clasp your hands into yours you refuse to budge. The test tightly protected in your hands unbeknownst to him.

Nanami sighs again with a tight stern look on his face. Knowing there’s no longer any chance you’ll be able to come back from it all.

“When your mother passed away you became a shell of yourself (Y/N). It was easy in the beginning to be there for you. But it eventually turned into mindless sex as an escape for you. I did not want to hurt your decisions into avoiding the reality of losing your mother. If you hadn’t ignored your grief,” Nanami continues while taking off his glasses and watch setting them aside, glancing at your reflection at the mirror in front of him. Your eyes finally met “perhaps I could have better helped you understand (Y/N).”

“Who is she? Is she a coworker of yours?” At Nanamis confession, you felt numb. All the anger and sadness you felt dissipated. You wanted nothing more now than to go to sleep and dream of your mom comforting you and feel her hand stroke your hair again even for a mere moment inside your unconscious mind.

“Her name is Kuina. She was employed just a month into when your mother passed,” Nanami turned around to face you, leaning against the drawer head turned slightly down, arms crossed “I didn’t think I would have ever been one to end up doing such a thing (Y/N). I’m sorry.”

‘I’m sorry’

Nanami walked out into the living room closing the door behind him.

-

6 years ago

“Mom are you alright?” Walking into your moms room seeing her working on paper work for your grandmother. Gathering information about her as needed for the funeral home to work on her death certificate.

Your mom looked frantic and tired. Noting the atmosphere felt different, “hey mom, where’s Karube?” Your mom looked up at you putting up a brave face.

“Karube and I are no longer together (Y/N). He and I just realized we weren’t a match really. No need to worry.”

-

Karube ended up cheating on my mother around the same time my grandmother passed away.

Not only did you fail in keeping that promise you made yourself all those years ago.

You failed your mom too.

Hearing the faint sounds of the television being turned on just outside the living room, you tried your best to muffle your cries as it all eventually settled inside of you.

‘You were my light in times of darkness’

Hugging yourself to sleep, it didn’t take long as your cries settled you down.

-

It’s been a week since everything was brought to light. And just 3 days ago you were met with a few documents settled on the main wooden table of the home.

Divorce papers

You sigh with stress laced within. You avoided even looking through everything until the night before your first appointment with your doctor.

Frantically filing everything down, deciding on stopping by Nanamis office before heading to your doctors to drop off the paperwork.

-

Your walk to Nanamis workplace wasn’t how it was before. Your gentle smiles while walking is now replaced by a neutral toned face. The warmth of the sun is no longer a lovely feeling but a sticky hot feeling all over your body.

You hated to be a burden at such a young age. That night, after Nanamis confession you held out on telling him.

Guilt swept over you as you realized how tragic it all is.

This baby wasn’t due to the love you both have for each other, at least not anymore. It’s due to your wanting to escape from your grief.

Oh how your mother would be saddened.

-

Walking up to Nanamis now private office, trying your best to keep your head held high. You noticed that some look over at you knowing the gossip that had gone around. And others who seem to not care at all. You were silently grateful for the few.

Reaching his office, you knocked twice. Looking over your shoulder to see few of his fellow colleagues quickly look away from you as if they weren’t popping their eyes at the front seat view they had.

You let yourself in once you heard an approval from the other side.

Whispers soon ensued as the door closed behind you.

Nanami was looking over paperwork at his desk, eyebrows furrowed in whatever god knows what he deals with nowadays.

“I came to drop off the divorce paper work Kento.” Stating as you walk up his desk, your soft footsteps and his quick writing with pen hitting his paper being the silence breaker between the two of you.

Nanami drops his pen on his desk and looks up at you.

The tall windows of his office gently illuminated your face, earrings softly shimmering and pieces of your hair fall front of your face framing a delicate balance to your face.

‘You became a shell of yourself’

You didn’t try to improve your appearance just for him. Matter of fact you did it for yourself. You refused to let his words eat your self conscious.

Plus, your mother always told you how important it is to be presentable to the public. Not for the approval of others but for your own self.

Handing him the folder, your hands softly brush against each others.

Keeping your calm composure, you stood straight ready to turn around and leave.

“(Y/N)-“ Nanami starts but you had cut him off.

“I plan to leave the apartment soon Kento. If approved in just days time, you need not worry about me being in that place anymore,” you ushered as to turn around once again “have a good day Kento.”

Pushing his office doors to open and leave this place once and for all, you open the doors to Kuina waiting just outside the doors.

You should have known his office colleagues were just as wanting to know what must have been discussed behind the closed doors.

As your eyes met Kuina’s, all you had left in you was a smile.

Just as the doors of his office completely closed, Nanami caught a glance at the exchange.

Deep down inside he knew he had caused enough pain when all you did was smile at her.

-

As the elevator descends to the lower floors of the building it stopped just below the floor that Nanami once was.

As people come in and go, a tall man with white hair and circular dark navy shades shuffled his way to your side as the elevator doors close descending back down once again.

Wood scents, with a note of eucalyptus

You’re familiar with this scent of the man standing next to you. It’s nothing new. Besides you’re fond of the scent. Nothing extreme from what you’ve come across before. Men and their obnoxious amount of sprays.

So you weren’t so sure as to why the man’s scent next to you caused you to almost gag out loud inside the cramp elevator.

Catching your action swiftly your hand goes up to cover your mouth, catching the attention of the tall white haired man.

Looking down at you he asks “you alright miss?”

The elevator finally opens to the first floor and you quickly nod as you try to quickly get out.

“Woah I’m sorry! Was it my doing? Do I smell bad today?” The man looks in disbelief and quite embarrassed.

“No no no,” you try to apologize for your actions “it was actually just me! Im sensitive to smells at the moment.” You tried to explain in embarrassment.

As people continue to pass by the man shyly smile at you, his cheeks turned slightly blushed.

“I apologize then Miss…” he trails off, smiling back once again you introduced yourself “(Y/N) (L/N).”

“Nice to meet you (L/N), I’m Gojo Satoru.”

12:44 pm

My appointment is soon, but almost gagging earlier has given me anxiety. What if I can’t make it in time?

It was like if the man you just met sense your urgency and asked if things are alright.

“Oh thank you for the offer, but I’m fine I can go on my own!” You exclaimed as you start to walk towards the front entrance.

The white haired man caught up to you once again before beaming at you with a flashy smile of his

“No worries (L/N), I don’t mind!”

Looking down at the time you realized perhaps it would be best. You were anxious all week once you made your appointment for the doctors.

Looking around your surroundings before finally agreeing, you smiled back up at him thanking him.

You thought you’d follow him to the parking structure but his car was pulled up by the valet.

As the valet driver approached to open your door, Gojo reassured him letting himself open the door for you. Thanking him before settling inside his car, he was walking over to the drivers side.

Gojo looked up feeling a stare burn behind him, before driving away.

-

Y’all idk where this one is going either y’all were supposed to die & be sad.

Part 2? Idk either

(Not proofread I’ve been typing 3 hours straight.)

[kenntolog]

𝝑𝝔 an: enter loner boyfriend choso x bubbly girlfriend reader series!! reblog if you enjoy and check out my masterlist heh.

loner choso with bubbly reader is such a sweet dynamic: :((

loner choso who can’t comprehend the fact that you, the literal embodiment of sunshine, are his pretty little girlfriend and he gets to call you this.

he questions why you chose him of all people so much, his mood seemingly getting gloomier with every passing thought as he spirals deeper and deeper… until you find a way to get to him, like the angel you are. whether it is that you somehow feel choso spiralling through the distance and send him a silly message whenever you’re not over at his place; or you notice the frown on his face deepen and place a quick kiss on his lips, wavering the ugly feelings building inside him away.

loner choso whose whole day automatically turns great as soon as he sees you running towards him with open arms and calling out his name sweetly with your beautiful voice. choso who always opens his arms for you to jump in and always catches you as you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, hugging him close as if you didn’t see him yesterday or the day before that.

“choso!” you’d say with the most adorable beam and loner choso is stripped of all of his seemingly well-built defence, forgetting about all of his problems and sorrow feelings, instead thinking he’s going to burst from how much love he feels for you.

you’d cradle his head close to your chest, embracing him with all of your limbs wrapped around him, and that makes choso wholeheartedly believe that heaven is a place on earth with you.

loner choso knows how you two look to the unknowing eye; polar opposites.

his face always tired, dark undereyes as prominent as ever, a tattoo over his nose that he impulsively did at 17, constant frown that only disappears when you’re the one looking at him and his hair resting just short of his shoulders, sometimes tied up in two freaky space buns(because you really love the way they suit him, choso himself only ever does them when he has time in the morning).

and you with the softest of smiles on your face at all times, your skin glowing and pretty, your curled up lips plump and pink, the colours you chose to wear gentle and pretty and fitting you, and the energy coming from you unmatched, making people around gravitate towards you. and choso loves that about you, how much you’re connected to humans in comparison to how distant he is.

but he’s fine with that. you’re enough, more than enough to make him the happiest man alive. your honeysweet voice calling out to him, your small hand that never wants to leave the hold of his bigger one, your bubbly energy that fuels him too, your affectionate nature that showers him with love he craves so much—

one things choso is sure of is that he is completely in love with you.

[bones4thecats]

Could I request Trey, Silver, and Malleus with a lover that likes to nap?

His S/O Loves To Take Naps

Type of Writing: Request Name: His S/O Loves To Take Naps Characters: Trey Clover, Silver Vanrouge, and Malleus Draconia Requester: Anonymous

A/N: This was fun to write, ngl. I can just see a hypersomniac sleeping in these ways unknowingly🤣 Anyways, enjoy!!

⚠️ TW: None ⚠️

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Sleepy! S/O ; Finds Them Napping - On the Countertop

🧁 Trey has known you since he was a young boy, and ever since you both were tots, you were found to sleep nearly everywhere

🧁 From the box at the end of your bed to a boulder you found during the graduation of one of your older relative's when you went out to take photographs of the lucky grad

🧁 Yep. You slept a lot

🧁 So, when you actually woke up and asked if you could help him with a new batch of sweets for the Unbirthday Party being celebrated later in his dorm, he asked if your housewarden, Vil Schoenheit, was alright with it

🧁 You just smiled and laughed nervously before pushing him into the kitchen. How mischievous could you be!

🧁 Trey had put his apron on and put a matching one on you, his read 'I Love You, Pho Real', while yours said, 'I Cannoli Have Eyes For You!'

🧁 You smiled gently as he grabbed out the things he needed as he hummed an old tune that your mother would sing to you every night. It was called 'In a World of My Own'

🧁 Hearing him sing the slow song, your eyes began to droop until you passed out cold as he began to pour milk into the bowl with the spices and flours to mix it

🧁 Trey heard a small thump and he turned around only to see you leaning your head against the cabinet, and he just chuckled and put his stuff down before picking you up and laying you at one of the tables, taking your apron off and laying underneath your head like a pillow of some kind

" I don't need a world of my own, you've made this one far superior to any I can imagine, love. "

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Sleepy! S/O ; Finds Them Napping - In A Tree

⚔️ Silver and you are almost always seen napping alongside one another, but not today for some reason

⚔️ Yuu Sei, the magicless student, had come up to you and asked if you could help him with some work that Crowley needed done while he dealt with other things probably vacation scheduling

⚔️ Because of this, you were far more tired than normal. So, when Silver messaged you and asked if you could meet at your favorite tree in Pomefiore's, your dorm's, mini-forest, you climbed and tree and waited

⚔️ Silver had just gotten to the forest's outline when a bird flew to him and chirped as it waved its wing, as if it was motioning him to follow

⚔️ Which he understood easily

⚔️ Gripping his magic pen as he went deeper, following the bird's chirps and song, he finally caught sight of the tree he began to worry; were you hurt?

⚔️ He then saw the bird land by your frame and brush it's feathers against your nose, making you fall from the tree after seeing the animal's face so close to yours

⚔️ Silver caught you with his magic as he chuckled and yawned himself

" You really are a sleepy person, aren't you? Now, I believe I need a reward for saving you like that, Y/N. "

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Sleepy! Reader ; Finds Them Napping - In The Lounge

🐉 Malleus was used to being around people who sleep a lot, due to Silver's issue, but you were almost matching his level, which worried your fae lover

🐉 Earlier, you had gotten busy helping Vil Schoenheit, your housewarden, out with finding Epel Felmier, one of your newest editions of potatoes, and you were tired from holding the male back without using your magic against him

🐉 You then messaged Malleus and said that you were going to come by and spend some time away from the abrasive celebrity and his adoring hunter

🐉 Malleus just agreed and told you to call or send a bit of magic to his room to notify him of your arrival, to which you agreed and sent kisses before hanging up

🐉 He has now been waiting for what felt like hours, but was truly around 30 minutes

🐉 Holding the small gift you had made for him for your one-year anniversary, which was a small dragon keychain that was fluffy like a plushie, close to his chest, Malleus sighed and stood up to walk to the Lounge

🐉 Maybe Lilia or Silver, maybe even Sebek, wanted to speak to you and it just carried on for a while longer than expected?

🐉 Nope. You were sitting on the couch asleep. The others must have just pushed past you and didn't want to interrupt your rest that you no doubt earned from the long day of smelling beauty products from Vil's collection

🐉 Malleus smiled gently and picked you up, tucking the tiny plush into your chest, which you hugged and tucked your face onto his chest, making him chuckle lightly before teleporting back to his room to lay you down correctly

🐉 As he crawled behind you and held you closely, he began to hum a lullaby that he remembered Lilia singing to baby Silver years ago

" But if I know you, I know what you'll do. You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream~ "

[queer-n-here]

back at it again at krispy kreme

so to start off, this request is very wild and specific and out of nowhere and will most likely be the only of its kind. I would suggest watching season 1 and 2 recap videos of Girl From Nowhere. NOW TO THE REQUEST

with a yandere reader (who is basically like nanno from the show i mentioned earlier) who stalks character of your choice 24/7, constantly tormenting them and their friends (who keep killing reader but reader just keeps coming back) until the character is worn down to where they are stockholm syndromed by reader, and reader finally claims what is his ♡

~🕷

Okay y'all, this is actually 🕸️ annon, bro wrote 🕷️ on accident again.

Also, bruv, this bomb ASS request has been sitting in my inbox for a while, and I must say, I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner. I was kind of running away from it without realising I was.

Q: Why were you running away?

A: Because I didn't wanna ruin it in a hurry 😭 I wanted to do it justice. Now, I will! (Hopefully)

Contents: Chuuya x Yandere!Stalker!Reader

Warnings: No smut, but has mentions of masturbation, stalking, obsessive tendencies, mentions of murder, blood, and more, Stockholm Syndrome.

You had been watching him for the longest time.

Chuuya Nakahara.

He was so fucking beautiful, you never wanted to take your eyes off of him. So you followed him around, setting your lackeys everywhere around him to report to you with even the minutest details of his days.

You followed him around yourself, too. Only you were allowed to watch from his bathroom ventilator as he showered or changed. Only you were permitted to peek through that one window in his bedroom and watch as he pushed a lucky dildo deeper and deeper into his ass, cock throbbing and twitching with want. Oh, the things you'd do to be that bit of silicon that slid in and out of his asshole as he trembled on the bed, huffing and panting.

Fuck, you were obsessed with him.

And you knew full well.

You were starting to get desperate, too. Just sneaking into his house when he wasn't there to wrap his boxers around your cock and jerk off wasn't enough anymore. So after hiding in the dark for a while, you decided to leave behinds hints.

The first one ever was the splatter of cum you'd left on his bed sheets. It had been a mistake, but even as you raised a hand to pull the sheets off the bed and hide the evidence, you couldn't help but pause.

Chuuya should know how much you loved him. He should know who owned him.

Thus, you left the stains right as they were.

That night, Chuuya returned from a hefty mission, tired and ready to collapse into bed. The sight of the half-dried cum stopped him.

"What the fuck?!"

You, watching from behind the bushes next to his bedroom window, smirked. Fuck yes.

Later, you became more and more bold. You starting leaving behind more proof of your presence, leaving behind sappy messages on his walls with spray paint, dropping photos of him that you'd taken in secret. You watched him break down from his window.

You chased him into a corner, forcing him to ask Mori for help. Even the Port Mafia had nothing on you, though. You continued leaving behind dirty underwear, condoms filled with your cum and stuff like that around his house.

Chuuya changed places, and you followed. He couldn't get rid of you no matter how much he tried, only running pathetically around with you right at his heels.

It was fun, but only for a few months.

At one point, only watching him from a distance had been enough for you. Now, you wanted him to see you, know you, fear you, want you. You were growing more and more greedy, you knew. And yet you couldn't stop yourself.

So one day, you showed Chuuya your face. You left behind a video clip for him, a video of you jerking off to his photos. Chuuya decided, enough is enough.

He decided to put his pride down and asked for Dazai to help. The latter might be a big piece of shit and a pain in the ass, but he was smart when it came to stuff like this. And so Dazai was involved.

You knew it, and Dazai knew that you knew you knew. It was a fun game of pretending to hide while both of you knew of each other's presence.

It wasn't long before Dazai caught you, though. You were pleasantly surprised by his wit. You two fought, and Dazai managed to kill you. As he turned around, thinking about teasing Chuuya about owing him for the rest of his life, he saw you standing beside him instead. His eyed widened, and he stepped back slightly.

"...How?" Was the only thing Dazai, the smartest man in the Port Mafia, could say.

You chuckled. "Pity you won't be able to find out."

And before he'd known it, he was on the ground, knocked out. You couldn't help but tread on his hands as you passed him a little. He got to be around Chuuya everyday, and here you were, working so hard every time you so much as wanted to see his face. Wasn't it unfair?

Either way, after that day, the Port Mafia increased security around Chuuya. If it had been anyone else, Mori would've just kicked them out, but this was Chuuya, one half of Twin Dark.

From then on, you had to be slightly more careful. But you couldn't control your greed either. You couldn't stop wanting him to see you in person, not just in the photos and videos that you left behind.

And so, one evening Chuuya came back home to find all the guards dead on his porch steps. His eyes widened, and he took a small step back.

The front door was open.

He wanted to run away, wanted to go back to the Port Mafia headquarters and report to Mori, but he thought he saw a shadow flash past the door in the house. He hesitated.

Was it rational for him to not run away? No. It was perhaps the craziest decision he'd ever made in his entire life. But he couldn't help but think internally, Fuck it, if he wanted to harm me, I wouldn't have been alive all this while.

And so Chuuya stepped over the corpses that decorated his front door, pushed open the door more, and stepped in.

You were sitting right there, on his couch, wiping your bloody hands with a handkerchief. You looked up when he entered.

And gods, he was even more gorgeous up close like this. You were used to watching him from afar, or through the cameras that you'd placed in his house, but never face-to-face. Fuck, you almost pounced on him right then.

As for Chuuya, he didn't know what to do. His heart was pounding so fast against his ribcage he was scared it'd stop for good. His palms were sweaty even as he fisted his hands, and his breathing was slightly laboured.

You stood up from the couch, walking closer to him. Somehow, he did not back away.

"Chuuya,"

The way you said his name, gods, what were you? Some sort of a siren? But sirens were supposed to sing, not stand in his house covered in blood and smile at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

"You're home." You raised a hand, caressing his cheek, leaving a smearing some of the blood on your hand against his pale skin. "Did you have dinner?"

"W-why are you doing this?" Chuuya managed to choke out, fuelled by his last dreg of rationality.

His eyes were red.

"Doing what, baby?" You cooed, smiling. "Chasing you? Because I love you, that's why."

Chuuya felt the back of his throat burning, and tried to fight back the tears that were already gathering in his eyes. "Why? Why, like this... Wha-"

He couldn't form coherent sentences, and stopped trying with a sniffle, tears starting to dribble down his face.

He looked pretty when crying, too.

You cupped his face with both your hands, tilting it upwards to make him look at you. "Because I can't help but want you so much, Chuuya. So much, that I'd have obliterated the Port Mafia if it hadn't been for the fact that you like those people."

Chuuya felt so tired, so exhausted. For almost half a year now he'd been running from you, running and running and running. He'd changed houses, gotten protection from the Mafia, even asked Dazai, for Christ's sake. And yet somehow you'd always gotten through it. He didn't want to run anymore. He wanted to sleep.

He wanted to rest.

He wanted to curl up and close his eyes and not have to worry about anything, not even the nightmares that had started because of you. He wanted to be carefree, the way he had been when he was a kid, poor but honest in the ugliest parts of Yokohama.

Chuuya didn't want to run anymore.

And so he collapsed, his knees buckling as more tears slid down his skin, onto his shirt. You caught him before he could hit the floor, and pulled him into an embrace. He was sobbing, his shoulders shaking and hands trembling.

"C'mere," You pushed his face into the crook of your neck.

Slowly, his hands rose, and for a moment you thought he would try to push you off. You braced for impact, preparing to restrain his hands if you had to. But then, all of a sudden, he wrapped his arms around your neck.

You froze for a moment, and then, a small smile climbed up your face. Chuuya was sobbing into your shoulder, clinging on to you as if for dear life. His fingers fisted in the material of your shirt as he muffled his whimpers against your skin.

He wouldn't run anymore.

That night, standing in the middle of Chuuya's eighth house that year, finally, you got what you wanted.

[fakesimp]

Hired? Or Claimed? , With Shu Yamino

Warning !

Mentions of Blood, Drugs ; Shanti! Shu ; Strangers— Acquaintence— Lovers? ; Lowkey Possessive! Shu ; Modern set timeline ; Unestablished Relationship

A/n !

IMEJFJENWIWJDFF—

before you guys say anything, Some beautiful, lovely followers, those who is kind enough to share, ..yes, I thank you personally for that 🙏🏻 I hope you have a great day.

And I wrote this, based on fanarts I've seen, and a theory I found about Shanti and Mafia being related. Whoop. Enjoy!

Also Happy birthday My Beloved Sorcerer.

➶◜◝➴

How did you ended up here?

Oh, right, it's because you have some debts to pay, but you have no money with you.

Weeks of you trying to find a decent job kept failing for some reason, it drives you insane. You never thought the day of you doing some type of dirty job will ever come.

You, who got no choice, decided to dive into the dark side of the internet, the world maybe, trying to see if there's anything, a job you can find with big earnings.

Your eyes scanned through the screen of your phone, and laptop, to see if there's any response to your post upon is there any job out there to get big amount of money without doing much, dirty work.

Hours have passed.

You were about to give up until you see a notification coming from your phone, an anonymous message, asking you, would you like some help to pay your debts?

You opened the message, to see there is more to their message. The anonymous message also included their location to meet up, you were skeptical on going to the location or not.

It could be a fraud. But you did say that any job would be fine as long as it gave you a big money in the end, you would take the risk.

After contemplating for awhile, you finally decided to check out the place tomorrow. Also, just in case, you also bought some taser, and other self protection things.

You will never know what's gonna happen when you're on your way there, the chances of you getting in danger is there. You are literally going to visit an unknown place, of course at least you need some, self protection right?

. . .

You are starting to regret you choice on coming over to the location that was sent by the anonymous person. You are walking down the dark alleyway despite the sun is high up in the sky, you looked at your phone once again to see where you're going.

And then you stopped by a building, that is quite, clean also, welcoming? Depsite other buildings that looks not so friendly for you.

You looked around one last time, and checked your phone. It says that you have arrived at the destination, you look around the door, and the walls to see if there's anything, you can press to let the person? Or people inside.

But you didn't find any, so you ended up knocking on the door. There was no response at the first 5 minutes, you knocked again. There is also no reponse, third time is a charm, right?

You were just about to knock again and the door swung open, revealing the person standing behind it. They tilt their head slightly, scanning you from head to toe. "You, .. You're the person who needs their debt to be paid?" You blinked, and slowly nod your head.

"I was, the person in [ ... ], asking for a job— you reached out to me in my dms—" "Oh, come in, I will escort you to his room."

You followed the person, looking around the place, it's very japanese vibe, you can see some of the furnitures, walls, doors are built like a Japanese old houses. Not to mention the sweet scent scattered around the place, you noticed that the person took you to the deeper side of the building.

And then they stopped, knocking by the door. Speaking something in Japanese? Not long after you heard a voice coming from behind the door, the person turned to you—

"Inside, he is waiting for you."

He said as he took a step to the side, and slowly opening the door for you. You see a figure inside, though vaguely, since there is a curtain separating you and the person inside.

You stepped into the room, and the door closes behind you. You bit your lower lip as you look at the person behind the curtains, it didn't really let you see exactly how the male looked like. All you can see is just his silhouette, and it's also vaguely too. You can see them because of the dim lighting from his side, you then heard footsteps behind the curtain.

"I heard from my underling you needed to find a job?" His honeyed voice echoed throughout the room, tickling your eardrums with his voice. "Y, Yes, I need to pay my debts— and, I couldn't get any decent job so—" Before you can finish your sentence, you heard a low chuckle from his side.

Made you who had been fiddling with your fingers, and looking on the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, finally looked up.

And then you noticed that the silhouette is standing so close to you, making you inhaled sharply upon the realization how close he is.

"I can give you a job, a simple one even, as long as you don't get caught. You are going to be fine." He said, making you sweat upon his statement, what does he mean caught? What job is he going to offer you? "I'm, I'm sorry but, what job am I working on—?"

"Delivering drugs." He casually said and then the next thing that happened, there is suddenly a gust of smoke slips through the curtains— making you instinctively stepped back, "Don't worry, for now it's just a simple delivery in town." He added.

Is he trying to convince you to deliver drugs for him right now? "Well? It's just a simple job after all," He walked away and you then heard some ruffling from his side. "About your debts, you don't need to worry, they will be paid entirely, guaranteed." He said, now you're contemplating even harder.

So in exchange of delivering drugs for him, you get your debt paid entirely. You stood there for a good minute, trying to think if you should take the risk or not. If you're caught then you'll end up behind bars, and that is something you wished that rather not happened if you actually decided to deliver drugs for this man.

"Okay, Y, you just want me to deliver drugs right? In town?" "Yes, so this means you're accepting the offer?" You bit your lips, you closed your eyes— "Yes.. I accept your offer, you will pay my debts, right?" "Yes, your debts will be paid, don't worry." You heard another low chuckle coming from his side.

"Well, then, I look forward for how you're doing," He hummed softly, you then smelled a sweet scent coming from his side. "You better don't do anything weird, reporting to the police or such, or you will get the consequences.

And I believe you wouldn't like it the slightest, well then, good luck, new recruit."

. . .

That was 6 months ago, a lot have happened in that 6 months, there was up and downs. But one thing for sure is that your boss, who's called as Shu Yamino. Kept his words, he paid your debts. Everything was paid after your 3 months of working with him, the drug package is getting bigger and bigger the longer you work for him. And the range of you sending the drugs had gone further from your first month working, it went outside the town. Even countries.

And right now, you're on your way back to meet with Shu, you just got back in town from going abroad to another country to send off some drugs, how did the drug manage to go pass the scan? Only God knows how. At least the drugs are sent away, and delivered safely.

The moment you arrive at the building you are greeted with blood trails, making you quite concerned. But then you remembered what Shu said—

"If you ever see blood in the building, anywhere. Ignore it, your job is simply delivering drugs, you don't need to get yourself involved into other things."

He said so on your first month working with him, and that got your heart skipped a beat thinking about it. That means there is some fighting also, killing? Maybe? Involved in this damn place.

Even after 6 months, you still getting goosebumps on thinking about the bloodbath happening. You took a deep breath as you continue stride forward, trying to ignore the blood trails. But you can no longer ignore them when you realized the blood trail leads to Shu's room.

Did he got hurt?

You pondered upon the thought, you slowly knocked on the door, you heard shuffling inside the room, and after awhile you heard a familiar voice coming from the other side.

"Who is it?" He asked, "It's me" You replied, he then went silent, you know that his silence meant that you can go inside. You slowly opened the door and stepped inside, the smell of iron strokes your nostrils as soon as you went inside.

You never really see how Shu looked like, only some of his underlings saw him, but most of his underlings never saw him personally. That is including you.

You took a deep breath, "The drugs have been delivered," you started off, you didn't hear anything from him for a good minute. "I see, good job. You can take a few days off, you've done well the past 2 months." He said and then you heard another soft shuffling from his side.

"... Um," You blinked, stared at his silhouette behind the curtain. "I, Know you said that I shouldn't get involved in other things other than delivering drugs—" You spat out, "But I can't help it— Are you, okay—"

He did not say anything for a good minute, making you start to regret asking how he's doing. But the next thing you knew you heard footsteps coming closer, and closer and closer.

Eventually you see his silhouette right before you, the one that separates you is just the curtain. "The blood, is the reason why you're worried, no?" He asked barely in a whisper, you hesitantly replied— "Y, Yes.."

You don't know how long this silence had been going, but then slowly you saw his hand go through the curtain, his slender fingers reached out to you from behind the curtain. Silently inviting you to go to his side, you stared at his hand, you don't know where the courage came from—

But you placed your hand on top of his, he then slowly pulled you through the curtains. And you finally can see who you're working for—

Shu Yamino, his raven hair, his piercing purple eyes staring down at you. "It is not my blood." He said, he didn't let your hand go, but you didn't even realize he' still holding your hand.

You couldn't get your eyes away from his eyes, it's so, beautiful, also, tantalizing. It made you feel like you're getting hypnotized, "Are you okay?" He chuckled softly as he dangerously leaned closer to you.

"Huh? O, oh!— I, yes- I'm, okay—" You felt embarrassed upon staring at the man oh so shamelessly, he is your boss! And you just shamelessly stared at him.

He is pretty, you can't really blame yourself upon seeing his, beauty. You looked away from him and took a step away, only to realize that his hold on your hand tightens. "Where are you going, hm?" He asked in a whisper, he then pulled you closer.

The next thing you knew, he blew out some smoke to the side, before he looked back at you. His eyes narrowed slightly, seemingly annoyed with how you stepped away from him.

"I— No where—? I, I should go back home—" You were about to pull your hand away from his hold, only for him to pull you even closer to him, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you in. "Are you scared?" He asked, his face is right beside your ear, whispering huskily at your ear.

"Why are you trying to run away from me?" He asked once more, making your whole body shiver. "I, I don't know—" You replied, you then felt his hand on your lower back, pulling you in even closer than before. Making your hips pressed against his, his other hand brushed against your hair, kissing the tip of your hair as he leaned closer to you.

"Sweet.." He whispered, you realized that his clothing is painted with red, not too much but you can smell the blood iron stroking your nostrils due to how close he is to you. "Sweet..?" You repeated—

"Your scent.." He hummed softly, the next thing you knew, his face buried at the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

You don't know what's happening. There is so much happening within a span of a minute, making you confused. Why does he act like this? You never really talked much to him, other than reporting. You two do have small talks before, but it's not much since he seemed to be so busy.

But from what you heard, Shu knew how his underlings looked like, despite them not knowing how he looked like. "I am curious, ..." He whispered, "how long you will last" he added, you then felt his lips brushing against your skin. Making your body shiver once more, "What, ..do you mean?" You asked shakily, trying to breathe properly.

"Not many of my underlings stayed, they either died or getting captured." He added, "But you at the other hand," he sighed. "You handled your job very well, you never underestimate the work that is given." He continued, his hand on your lower back gently moved up and down. As if he's trying to soothe you.

"... I'm sorry, You can leave now" He said, but before literally letting you go, he planted a soft kiss on your neck before stepping away from you.

"You can forget whatever happened just now,

Or..

You can stay. Your choice."

©fakesimp . 2024

A/n !

How are you feeling with the ending JWNSHHWHEHED, I don't know how to end it. But i feel content with it heheheh.

Also Shu Yamino.

How dare you be hotter. That is a crime.

[ruporas]

only human

[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.

The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]

[fictionadventurer]

Yes, President Snow tried to make the people of Panem focus on Katniss and Peeta's love story to keep them from focusing on the rebellion. But that doesn't mean the love story doesn't matter. The irony at the heart of the Hunger Games trilogy is that the Capitol thought the love story was pointless, but it was actually the entire point all along.

President Snow tried to frame Katniss and Peeta's act of love--trying to die for each other--as something irrational. No sensible person would do anything so stupid and rebellious! They only did it because love puts you out of your right mind! Emotions make you irrational and unpredictable, a danger to yourself and others! Falling in love turns you into a fool--only following the rational ideas of the Capitol will keep you and your families safe from the irrational effects of love.

Unfortunately for him, the audience begins to see that the foolishness of love is wiser than the Capitol's wisdom. A society where emotions can flourish, where people can act selflessly, where children are cared for, enemies are honored (or at least treated as people), and other people are worth dying for, might require more trust, might require you to risk yourself, but it makes for a much more beautiful world than the rational oppression of life under the Capitol's rule.

Snow thought that a love story would prove to the people how important their society was. He thought it could distract from revolution, because he couldn't see the deeper truth.

In a society built upon the principle of kill-or-be-killed, love is the revolution.

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

i’ll miss mentopolis…i love the vibe, the concept, the set is so gorgeous and creative and the prefrontal pi:s are SO funny together. amazing chemistry

[simplytolkien]

Wow, I’m getting a lot of aggressive messages about my opinion of Rings of Power. I knew there would be some push-back from our lovely modern internet society, but this is stupid. I never said the show was perfect, but I enjoy it, and I hate this snobby nit-picking. Why our society has come to believe that this sort of tiny-minded critical attitude shows how intelligent and sophisticated you are, I don’t know, but it’s frankly stupid. It just shows you up for being ignorant and lacking in grace. Especially since right at the beginning of the show it says ‘based on The Lord of the Rings and Appendices by J.R.R. Tolkien’ right on the screen in the intro. Based on means not 100% faithful. In any project. And the complaints I’m getting about changes to the story show that people haven’t actually paid attention to the original lore anyway, and all but two of the complaints are about things that actually are accurate. They just seem to be riding the seemingly ‘cool’ wave of hate for the show that started long before there ever even was a preview released. Some people made up their minds when it was announced that it was going to be bad, and they seem to be controlling the narrative about it, which is a shame, and people who have such a need to be ‘cool’ follow along without their own opinions as usual. But I think the show so far is strong enough to overcome such narrow bigots and stand firm in its own merits and be loved by people for time to come, and if some people want to watch it and be angry and miserable, that’s their loss. I do know some people are actually not going to like it, and hey, that’s okay too. Just give it a fair shake before you actually decide you don’t like it.

Yes, there are a few issues with Galadriel so far. They are changing her story and timeline, but that isn’t a deal breaker for me. I don't mind her taking a more active role in the wars, just like I've said before that Arwen riding Frodo to the Fords, while not at all accurate, is still one of my favourite scenes in the movies, and they had more scenes filmed with her along those lines that didn’t make it to the films. As a woman who loves Tolkien, I understand that he definitely wasn’t the misogynist he’s often accused of being. He wrote many beautifully strong women and wrote several who expressed dissatisfaction with the ‘traditional’ notion of womanhood, Éowyn being the most famous. And of course, Lúthien, based so lovingly on his wife, was anything but traditional. Another favourite of mine is this quote and conversation between Erendis and her daughter in Númenor. I like that these projects are portraying strong women, even if it isn’t in the exact same places where Tolkien did. Galadriel fighting isn’t far-fetched to how her character was written. Tolkien even had her mother-name (one of three names elves are given) mean man-maiden because she was such a tomboyish elf, always riding and hunting and doing it all better than most of the men (and also because she was taller than most women and had a deeper voice). So far she is somewhat tactless, grumpy, and hasty, but I think it’s simply a case of early-episode overcompensation. I’ve seen it over and over in shows where they come out of the gate really hard with a character’s attitude for the first few episodes to firmly establish a character in viewers’ minds, and then they begin to mellow or soften their approach. It isn’t my favourite approach, but it is commonly used in the industry. I am hoping they give her more grace soon. And it isn’t Morfydd Clark’s fault. I think she’s doing an amazing job with what they’re writing for her and how they’re directing her. The only things about her that aren’t exact for the role is that she isn’t tall or deep-voiced, but she can’t change those... Otherwise, perfect.

But you have to understand that Galadriel was a rebel. She was a rebel and a leader in the rebellion of the Ñoldor when they left Valinor because she strongly desired to rule her own kingdom. She was full of pride and ambition, and that was her driving force for many many years, which was why she was still tempted by the Ring in the Third Age and had to resist to be allowed to sail back into the West. No, she never would have sailed for Valinor (which I think was included to portray her rebellion against the Valar), and yes, she should have met Celeborn by this time, but again, this show has five seasons planned. It’s only been three episodes. Give it time. Yeesh. And I myself am not sorry that we potentially get to watch her love story happen. But she wasn’t a ruling elf from the beginning. Eventually for a time she and Celeborn ruled a small group of elves sort of like a fiefdom under Gil-Galad before moving into what becomes Lothlórien, so her being a commander under Gil-Galad isn’t ridiculously far-fetched.

When it comes to Elrond, the theme in the messages I’m getting is that he isn’t being treated right because he’s a lord and not a politician, like he’s being treated like a nobody. Again, people need to read more of Tolkien than Lord of the Rings to talk about these very aged characters. Lord of the Rings was the very end of Elrond’s life in Middle-Earth. Rings of Power has his earlier role spot on so far. He wasn't Ñoldorin, who were the ruling elves at this point, or even a High Elf since he was never in Valinor. And he wasn’t full elf. He had some human and Maia. (I’ll post a cool breakdown of Elrond’s genealogy that 5ummit created after this.) He wouldn't have naturally had a high position with the Ñoldorin at this point, but it goes a long way to showing how he was valued that he was Gil-Galad's herald and a captain, which is lore accurate. He wasn't the heir of all major houses as such. He wasn't even a prince while Galadriel was a princess in both the Ñoldor and the Teleri. Elrond’s line was respected and loved since he was Lúthien’s great-grandson, but it wasn’t a ruling line (ringofsecrets is right; he was royal through Lúthien, but they no longer had a kingdom). It was just that after the first war with Sauron, he was one of only two elf commanders who survived, Cirdan being the other, and so Elrond became a ruling elf because he was loved and wise. He was offered the title High-King, having been connected with Gil-Galad, but he turned it down since he wasn't of the bloodline of the High-Kings through a male ancestor (even though he was through a female ancestor) and because so few of the Ñoldorin were left that it didn’t matter. And actually, Galadriel had a far closer claim to that title herself, being niece or great-niece or something close like that of the first High-King. (I get all the F names in her family confused when I haven’t read The Silmarillion in a while.) But I don't think anyone wanted the title. The four Ñoldorin kings all came to bloody ends... I do like that they made Elrond and Galadriel friends since eventually Elrond marries Galadriel’s daughter.

And then there was the comment on the post about the hobbits and their age, but it was worded oddly, so I’m not sure exactly what you’re saying? I think you mean the culture is portrayed as too old, like hobbits didn’t exist for another 2300 years? But again, there’s nothing objectionable here. In Tolkien’s lore the hobbits came from more primitive ancestors, the same ones Gollum came from, and if you remember, Gollum had found the ring over 500 years before ‘The Hobbit’ happened, and he was in an established group in the east where Isildur would have dropped the ring when he died. It was in the same region that Beorn lived, east of the Misty Mountains near what became Mirkwood. There were three breeds: Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallohides. The Harfoots and Fallohides were the first who over time travelled north and west to finally settle in the Shire because of various unrest and dangers, especially those caused by Sauron moving into and settling in what became Mirkwood. The Stoors, the breed Gollum was, moved around in the east a lot longer and interacted with the Dunlendings some before finally moving west into the Shire. These hobbits aren’t early. They’re simply living primitively in the east, just like Tolkien said the three different breeds who were the hobbits’ ancestors did before they came to the Shire and intermingled until they were one people. And unlike every other race in Middle-Earth, Tolkien didn’t once write an origin story for hobbits. He never described their creation. The first record of interaction with the ‘Big Folk’ was with the Éothéod, the ancestors of the Rohirrim, in far-away times and in the east, so no one knows when and where they originated.

I never said I thought Rings of Power is 100% accurate to the books. That never happens in any project, especially one that says ‘based on’. But I love that it seems so far like they're staying true to more than people think. Really, so far they’ve just changed some of the timelines or minor events. The actors have interviews explaining some of the thinking behind decisions made, and the creators themselves said that some of it would be different to the commonly held versions of Tolkien's works because Tolkien was ALWAYS changing things. I mean, he worked on this world for decades, so he was always fiddling with timelines and lineages and so on. Even some of the main characters and events in the Silmarillion changed quite a few times after the Silmarillion was written, including Galadriel and her whole family of Finarfin and Fëanor and such, who were changed enough times that it's still not clear who Gildor Inglorien is. That's why the creators of Rings of Power consulted Tolkien's grandson Simon. They wanted his knowledge of some of the more obscure information since Tolkien was changing things until he died. I think that's cool. It feels like they're honoring Tolkien's whole approach to his world instead of just saying 'this is what it was period end of.'

No matter what they do, there will always be people who want to gripe and complain, and then there will be people who legitimately don’t like it, and that’s totally okay. I mean, I hate Game of Thrones, but I don’t go around the internet taking it out on people who like it. Let them enjoy what they enjoy. I’ve learned to just let people be themselves and enjoy the cool things that can come out of that, even if it’s not necessarily what I would do. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and if this is how the creators want to honor Tolkien, they’re the ones who had the courage to approach studios and say, ‘Hey, we know we’ve never made a tv show before, but we love Tolkien and have this great idea.’ And then they put in the hours and hours and hours of work. Don’t tear down the people that do things if you’re too scared, lazy, unmotivated, or unable to try yourself. I know I wouldn’t be interested in doing it. I think they’re doing a beautiful job with cosmetics and graphics and just creating a beautiful world for these characters to live in, and I’m going to enjoy my journey through it, along with the other people who choose to live with gratitude and enjoyment and sent lovely messages and comments. :)

[todayisafridaynight]

biggest fear for kiwami 3 is them retconning mines love for daigo (unlikely but it’s possible) or like something along the lines of that…. the minedai erasure would make me end it all

SUREST doubt of my life: even if you didn't want to interpret it as romantic, mine's love for daigo is an essential part to his character and motivation in y3. they coudnt erase mine's love without redoing his character

[definitelynotshouting]

OOH

first impression: saw a post in the wild about hunger au and any sort of worldbuilding gives me brain worms so ofc i immediately went through the whoke master doc and then reread the fic twice over in one sitting (i think at that point it had 4 chapters) AND THEN went through the tag with my head in my hands like "how does this person come up with such cool ideas oof ouch my heart"

Now: dude you are so cool 🥺 the amount of work you put into hunger au and the magic au AND YOUR POEMS ILOVE YOUR POETRY. I just have so much respect for you. Also fun fact your writing re-inspired me to continue my own projects so thank you 😭. And also thank you for going through my asks and responding to them!! i was so nervous sending in the first one but your response was so sweet i really appreciate it <3

-☀️

WAIT WAIT THIS IS SO SWEET WTF /POS IM SO,,,,,,, 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ im literally always so stunned when people say my writing inspires them, its like my favorite thing to hear and it never stops feeling like the most amazing thing in the world, truly. Sometimes its just so unfathomable like, the influence you can have on others, and being given even the briefest glimpse of that is truly so so humbling i love it

Also it means a lot to me that you like my poetry so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ive only shared the tiniest fraction of them so far, but its messages like these that help me build up the confidence to keep posting❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ i appreciate the kind words a ton, truly sun anon you always have the nicest things to say 🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ascendeddd]

Guys after the Fionna and Cake finale I will never be the same again help

[applestorms]

morality in the world of good omens

so i wrote another (admittedly very messy) essay on good omens not long ago right after watching season 2 but after finishing that, rewatching all of both seasons multiple times, and reading through the book, i have a couple more distinct ideas to get out...somewhere...if only for my own sanity. this is me throwing my thoughts into the internet before i pop, if you will. just 3 sections, below the cut.

1. environment, characters, & transformative fandom creations

to start this post off a bit more broadly, i've been thinking a lot recently about transformative fandom and the reasons why we write fanfiction/create semi-original works in the first place, as well as why certain aspects of fandom (writing, art, analysis, etc.) will be more appealing to me for certain shows/series than others. correct me if you have a totally different view of this, but in my experience i've found that i tend to naturally gravitate towards different parts of fandom depending on what the original medium of the story was- podcasts tend to lead to some of the most interesting art trends, for example, since there's more room for interpretation and character design tends to be more of an ongoing community project than something set in stone like for a tv show with live human actors.

in my own observation, i've noticed that a lot of the really big & excitable fandoms, the ones that generate tons & tons of fanworks more naturally (a.k.a. just because of the story itself & not other factors like a pre-existing franchise or hype about new great gay representation, etc.) tend to surround stories that fall into a kind of "sweet spot" that makes the creation of fanworks really appealing. if you've ever wondered why there are so many ravenous artists bending over backwards to draw gorgeous fanart for stuff like homestuck or south park or even minecraft youtubers, it's likely because those stories all fall into a sweet spot for drawing, with character designs that are recognizable at a glance and yet still simple enough that there is plenty of room for personal creative touches. (think also, if you're familiar with such kinds of homestuck terms: hyperflexible mythologies, A4:1524, and/or this archive link cause the official thing is down now for some reason)

the conclusion i've come to is thus that even something as basic as the original medium of a story can dictate a lot about what kinds of fan activities are more common or popular within said story's fandom.

so, back to good omens- for me, this all relates back because of a question i've been messing with in my head recently, about why i've been less interested in fanfiction for good omens than i have been for the last few fandoms i've been, almost all of which have basically broken my ao3 bookmarks.

this question has been fucking with me for a while now, largely because i'm not entirely sure what's motivating it. a lot of times i can figure out pretty easily why i might personally not be interested in some parts of fandom, but that's not really the case here. from what i've seen this fandom seems to be pretty mixed in terms of age, & the writing that i have read is certainly no worse than i've seen elsewhere, perhaps even better in some places- and yet, i can't seem to get entirely into it, even getting frustrated as i can't find something to my tastes for an ao3 bedtime story as i've grown so accustomed. what caught me off guard is that this was an issue that i ran into while watching season 1 as well, back when the series was still quite popular but not blowing up like it is right now.

a lot of this may seem like (and likely is, at least in part) basic overthinking, but i mentioned it all here because the answer i eventually came to is reminiscent of my previous reflections above on the nature of fandom & how/why fanworks are created.

a couple paragraphs above, i used the example of art as an example of how fandoms that generate a lot of original artwork will often do the most when the original story falls into a sweet spot of character design, but notably i think that this sentiment applies to a lot more than just art. if you've ever seen the copious amounts of kpop & hockey rpf fanfiction that lives on ao3, it should be clear that this applies to writing too.

i wrote this essay a while back responding to an observation about the lack of a more extensive symbolic language in fanfiction & i've toyed around with the idea more since, particularly in considering the question of why a lot of what we see as the staples of fanfiction exist in the first place. in that post, my response largely revolved around an argument of why we create fanfiction- namely, that fanfiction is created as in tandem with deeper analysis of the original story/series, as a way of trying to practically apply character analysis to a new context.

the key part of that last sentence to me is how a lot of this revolves around character analysis (and shipping, but really it's the characters that motivate the shipping in most cases so. same difference).

i tend to instinctively separate fanfiction into two separate categories: fanfiction that is based out of the original world/canon of the story (including but not limited to fix-its, deeper analysis fics that take a scene & extrapolate from it, continuations, etc.) and fanfiction that takes the characters from the original story & plops them in an alternate universe/AU. while i separate these out as two distinct categories of fanfiction, i should also clarify that i don't think these two groups are necessarily equal in terms of number of fics- rather, the vast majority of fanfiction tends to be AUs, keeping the original characters & changing any & all aspects of the world around them. again, this may vary depending on the story & Vibe of the fandom at the time, stories like game of thrones or harry potter or homestuck might have a lot more in the canon category by nature of any major dissatisfactions the fandom has with how the original story was told, but in most cases AUs are more popular. this was a lot of the basis behind my argument that fanfiction is created as character analysis in fact, since the characters are the most important part that carries over from original story to fanwork, as well as can end up being one of the most debated/scorned parts when it comes to fandom drift (i.e. "that's out of character"/"he wouldn't do that"/and all other such arguments about fanon vs. canon characterization).

basically, my conclusion in this case was that i was a lot less interested in gomens fic largely because i have a really hard time separating the characters from the world in the case of this particular story. aziraphale & crowley being an angel & a demon and dealing with all of the bullshit of their world when it comes to heaven & hell are such integral parts of their characters in my mind that i have a much harder time getting behind AU fanfiction that plops them in a totally different context. it's just a much harder sell for keeping the characters in character for me. (i also tend to not like s2 fix-its just cause, idk they're just not my style, which is where a lot of the recent blast of energy has led us.) to clarify, this is not a judgement, just a matter of personal preference and a reflection of why, even if a lot of fandoms will look the same from the outside/involve the same things like art, fic, etc., an individual's mileage can vary wildly when it comes to how they interact with different things online.

*additional note, also for clarification: i do want to acknowledge that a lot of this depends on pure popularity as well, popular fandoms will often end up with basically everything in terms of fanworks just by nature of how many people are interacting with & thinking deeply about the story. my point here is more along the lines of the fact that even within the more well-populated fandoms, certain types of fanwork will often Stick Out more to me than others, or even be visibly much more common than in other fandoms, due largely to the original medium/structure of how the story.

so, speaking of aziraphale & crowley in more depth now- why does the world of good omens feel like such an integral part of their personalities when it comes to characterization? up next, let's talk about morality within the context of good omens' perhaps surprisingly secular take on heaven & hell.

2. the amorality of heaven & hell (ft. the crowley quote apples you know the one)

(warning in advance that this section may be a bit limited since i'm not going to get super far (or very far at all, really) into the whole religious-analysis aspect of good omens.)

i've been binge-reading the original pterry & gaiman book for good omens over the last few days and it's been very fun seeing all the slight changes between the tv show & the original. you can really see the hand of the original creators in how the tv show was translated, even just by looking at which parts made it and which parts were deemed worth cutting out. i suppose having one of the original creators right there helping build everything really helps make a book -> show translation work, since the ASOUE tv series was also pretty well received- something about knowing what's the core of the series & truly important to keep in, and having more time to tell the story itself?

anyways, i have a short list of notes that i've been taking as i read, conversations that stand out to me or footnotes that particularly amused me, but i keep coming back to one line that stood out to me quite early on. in context, this line comes from crowley during the conversation where he is first attempting to fully convince aziraphale about stopping armageddon, specifically when they're talking about exerting equal forces on warlock to make him normal:

"You're saying the child isn't evil of itself?" [Aziraphale] said slowly. "Potentially evil. Potentially good, too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped," said Crowley. He shrugged. "Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that."

(pg. 67)

"They're just names for sides." if i had to pick one line to sum up the view on religious morality of this series, this would likely be it.

on the one hand, i tend to interpret a lot gomens' take on heaven & hell within the context of its political stance, something that is particularly obvious through a line from gabriel in s2e2 where he tries to clarify to aziraphale that heaven isn't trying to hurt job directly, but instead is just not stopping hell from doing horrible things to him. while there may be some additional nuance to add to this take within the context of british politics that i don't really know well enough to add about, i'm inclined to see this from the side of my own familiar american politics, which might hold some weight considering how long mr. gaiman's lived around here. point is, my current interpretation of that line is that it helps in more clearly establishing the analogy of heaven & hell as the story moves forward into newer seasons and thus more contemporary politics, equating heaven with mainstream liberal politics & politicians and hell with conservatives.

this stance seems to be emphasized even more in the tv show than the book which makes sense considering its been coming out more recently, and especially in season 2 which is still quite caught up in a lot of quarantine-based reflection. (the tv show puts a lot more emphasis on heaven & hell in general, actually, perhaps initially a byproduct of actually being able to see those environments in their entirety and all the angels & demons that populate them- but we'll get to that.)

the book takes a slightly different stance that, fittingly, seems more reflective of the time it came out. in particular, i was struck a lot more when reading the book by adam's rise (fall?) to power, and how much of it was motivated by a burgeoning nervousness/pessimism about climate change and the anxieties of younger generations that comes with inheriting an earth that feels so fucked up. honestly if anything it's only gotten more relevant in that respect, what with the current vibe on the internet & the hopelessness of the doomer gen z gang, but it also has a distinctly different flavor to me from the tv show, which i think is largely because it's less connected to Formal politics since again we see a whole lot less of heaven & hell as such distinct, bureaucratic entities.

instead, there is a very distinctly amoral aspect to heaven & hell that we get through lines like the one above and especially from characters like crowley. this is why i argue that good omens, despite having so many religious elements, is such a deeply secular take, especially when it comes to its ethics & morality- Good and Evil, notably with the capital letters in this case, has very little to do with actual actions and much more to do with the name that you stamp on top of said actions. heaven & hell and the angels & demons that we see directing and watching and generally fucking with aziraphale & crowley throughout the story are distinctly separate from humanity, and as we see even more as the story progresses, distinctly unaware about what it even means to be a human, in both a deeper philosophical & very basic and literal sense. Good and Evil is simply another name for the sides- and thus the true ethics is something separate, and based in a deeply human experience.

in my opinion this is also why aziraphale & crowley, lovers of humanity and also to some degree spokespersons of it from how much they've "gone native," tend to be so deeply at odds with both heaven & hell and always end up agreeing with each other over their own supposed sides. what makes aziraphale & crowley so distinctly different is that they ascribe to the same ethics & morality that humanity does, or at the very least are trying to figure out ethics & morality & How to Be a Good Person in the same horribly messy way that humans do, separating them from the black & white "this side Good & this side Bad," logic that the rest of heaven & hell instinctively ascribe to.

there's a lot of nuance here, which is also why i think there is such an emphasis on moral ambiguity (and love, but we'll get to that) throughout season 2. the story of job, grave robbing, & questionable attempts at matchmaking- aziraphale is working through a lot of Shit right now when it comes to trying to figure out what the Good thing actually fucking is, and i think it's key that a lot of that is motivated by crowley himself. crowley might'e been cast out of heaven for asking too many questions, but aziraphale is there & listening to them & giving them the serious thought they deserve, and that can't be overlooked.

sidenote: i couldn't figure out a place to shove this in, but i also wanna point out that a lot of this is tied to the idea of growing over time too. on the same page as the quote transcribed above is another line from crowley leading up to aziraphale's question that puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that warlock is going to be a product of nurture, not nature. again, this is an argument against basic black & white assigned-at-birth morality for the ability of humans to grow & change over time and be influenced by the people around them.

it's notable that despite adam's supposed origin as a Son of Satan, what really gets him to stop the apocalypse in the end is the fact that he doesn't really give a shit about all this big plans but instead just wants to hang around his friends. there's a lot of emphasis in the book placed on how beautiful & nice tadfield is as a place for a young kid to grow up, how well loved & fiercely protected it as as something beloved to adam. while he might be overwhelmed when faced with the full picture of how horrible the world can be, ultimately what he cares about is loving & taking care of the people & places that he grew up learning were precious, and the only way to do that is to keep growing & changing yourself within that world and trying to help it also grow into something better, not throw it all away just for the slightest chance that you could restart. a message worth taking the time to think about, at the absolute very least.

3. finding morality w/in humanity: crowley & aziraphale and speculation for s3

i have complicated feelings about both aziraphale & crowley throughout a lot of the show and especially in season 2. i think a lot of people, myself included, are inclined to see crowley as the voice of reason in this season, and for good reason- as i mentioned before, a lot of aziraphale's deeper questioning of the status quo and goodness (Goodness) as a whole is motivated by questions from crowley.

i kiiind of mentioned this in my previous essay, but to state it more clearly, my take on crowley is that he's arriving at the right answer for the wrong reasons, and, conversely, aziraphale is arriving at the wrong answer for... kind of also the wrong reasons but also slightly for the right reasons. let me explain.

crowley is clearly much more aware of the flaws in both heaven & hell than aziraphale is, which seems to be the basis behind a lot of his motivation in asking aziraphale so many questions in the first place. he's also, as maggie & nina point out in s2e6, deeply lonely, often running away or getting ready to fight literally anyone that isn't aziraphale (or humans, but that's a little more complicated). from his reaction to beelz & gabriel getting together, i think it's pretty clear that he still hasn't entirely given up on the whole alpha centauri idea, and it makes sense- as i said in that last essay, crowley basically won the argument at the end of the previous season when it comes to aziraphale & crowley, "making [their] own side," so he doesn't have much reason to face any of his personal fears until maggie & nina basically point out that they exist directly to his face. once they do point it out, however, he's very motivated to act & does so almost immediately, even after hearing what aziraphale has to tell him and being pretty thoroughly devastated by it.

my point here is that crowley is correct in seeing the toxicity of both heaven & hell, he's just flawed and largely motivated by fear (up for debate if that's all it is, but i certainly think it's a big part of it) in his desire to run away from it all. it's not quite armageddon, again he's going more flight > fight here, but he's still ultimately giving up and that's not a great conclusion.

on the other hand, as some others on this site have pointed out, aziraphale is certainly showing a lot of strength in his willingness to keep fighting & try to change things for the better, but it's not hard to see how that belief has been twisted. one of aziraphale's biggest flaw in motivation at this point imo is that he doesn't just believe in goodness but Goodness, the kind that's tied to heaven always being right & all actions being morally Good so long as they're done under the name of heaven, and that clearly also isn't great.

thus what i think the both of these two really need ultimately is that deeper connection to humanity, and the ethics born from humans interacting with humans. we can already see how strong these two are when they collaborate, even when they're doing their absolute best to be as subtle as possible, but what i think they need is to once again be grounded by humanity, not to get so caught up in the bullshittery of heaven & hell and Good & Evil, but once again find a goodness defined by the world that they mutually love so much and stick with it.

i keep tossing a question around in my head about whether or not aziraphale & crowley are going to end up human by the end of this series. it feels natural that they would, they're already so at home and in love with earth & around humanity, but i'm also not entirely sure if that would be a happy ending for them considering how long they've watched & loved the world as it's changed. perhaps taking this post into account is another push towards humanity as a happy ending, not running away to a cottage to get away from the world (i just can't see running away to a cottage to be together as as happy ending, sorry- it might work for beelz & gabriel but not for aziraphale & crowley), but choosing to settle down within that world that is so dear.

[britneyshakespeare]

a couple of girls on the playground today were asking me if i was married, if i was ever going to get married, and one of them said “do you want to be an old cat lady?” and i replied “well i wouldn’t mind it,” completely forgetting that old cat lady is a mocking trope of single women after a certain age, and then she said “don’t you wanna be a bae?” and i was like oh yeah sure. i thought you meant would i like to have cats. yes i would.

[mishkakagehishka]

I feel like i'm gonna post this fic and the author's note will be like. Three paragraphs long or something

[tojipie]

toji x crybaby reader <3

content: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, smut under the cut !

˚ ✧ ───────────

toji is a flawed man. 

short-tempered, married to his money, slow to show affection. but the one thing he does excel at is comforting you.

he knows you’re a sensitive girl, knows just how easy it is for you to get teary-eyed and red in the face over comments that otherwise seem like nothing to the untrained ear. 

you have a kind heart is all, too giving to a world that only knows how to take. he tells you that every time you break down in his arms, thick hands rubbing circles into the small of your back.

his father would have slapped him across the face for crying. called him soft, whiney like a girl. put him to work for the rest of the day to shape him into a man.

he wasn’t his father though, and you weren’t a zenin.

you were soft in the best way, tender-hearted and too trusting. a daisy among weeds, swaying idly in the too-strong wind. nothing like a zenin, nothing like him. 

he hadn’t the faintest clue what to do the first time he’d seen you get upset, standing there in the kitchen like a fool while you babbled on the phone with his bank.

it was a fraudulent charge, small, maybe only 10 dollars. probably dropped his card while paying for gas again, not the end of the world. the customer service rep assured you that much.

it was the principal, you sobbed. you’d lost his card and hadn’t even noticed. why wasn’t he upset with you?

he doesn’t know why he didn’t just tell you it was okay. that he didn’t have it in him to ever be cross with you, be it a ten-dollar charge or a thousand-dollar charge. 

instead he wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling your body flush with his to press soft kisses to the crown of your head.

you were warm there, warm everywhere really. the thrum of your blood heating your skin from the inside out. toji liked that about you, how you offset the perpetual cold of his much larger hands. 

physical touch was something he knew well. toji wasn’t—still isn’t good with words, opting to stay silent and just hold you while you sniffled into the receiver. he got the message across, he always does.

his methods are unorthodox for that very reason. he doesn’t comfort you with his tone, he does it with his body. whether it be thick arms squeezing you until you get your breathing under control, large hands tracing shapes into your tummy until you stop spluttering, or toned legs splaying wide to let you crawl into his lap, resting on him until your bodies reach the same temperature.

toji fucks you on your good days, likes to tease you, get you squirming. the key difference is that he makes sweet love to you on your bad ones. holding you flush to his chest while he rocks into you under the safety of your shared blankets.

you feel like a furnace under him every time, heat radiating off your body and into the deeper parts of his soul. 

he gets mouthy once the feeling of you wrapped around him flicks that little switch in his brain. turning off the mental barrier between him and his inability to use his words. 

“sweet girl,” is what he calls you, eyes never leaving yours. 

“gotta stay close to me, gotta keep you safe, huh?”

and keep you safe he does, tucking your face into the curve of his neck so you don’t have to look anywhere but him. letting you moan, and pant, and sigh into his skin while he rocks against that special spot situated deep in your core.

he goes harder when you ask him to. not faster, but harder—he knows the difference, letting the resistance in his hips subside so he can sink to the hilt over and over. 

the juxtaposition makes his head spin. how do you manage to sound so sweet while asking for something like that? able to melt his heart even on the brink of orgasm.

you kiss him when he fills you up, letting him sink on top of you with a huff and a shy laugh. he listens as you open up about the good parts of your day, his soft hums of agreement spurring you on.

toji wishes he was taught to articulate himself better. he’s trying, he really is. though the “i love you” he says into your skin seems like his best shot at a start.