#The idea of two people both being so opposed but still having that emotional connection between them

[tarmac-rat]

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[pippin-katz]

Thoughts About Potential Sex Scenes In RWRB 2

I have seen some comments about this, as well as comments from before, specifically relating to Taylor and Nicholas kissing "with tongue" and being more explicit in the sequel. I thought I would share what has been going through my head in regards to that.

If I am being entirely honest, I do not want them to put heavily explicit sex scenes in the sequel. I do not want them to do a bunch of unnecessary, raunchy sex scenes simply because they can. I do not want them shoving tongues down each others' throats.

I am aware that I am likely in the minority here. To me, the way they kissed whenever they were kissing with intensity was practically perfect. I personally do not find it in any way appealing to see two people practically eating each other's mouths.

Their lips were the focus, which considering what kissing is, makes sense. And I do not mean that they should only kiss with closed mouths, because those are different things, at least to me. Here is how I describe difference between the two.

Compare the kiss Henry gives Alex on the couch in Alex's bedroom to the kisses they have while having sex in Paris.

The first is a closed mouth kiss where their lips are pressing against each other. The seconds are an open mouth kiss where their lips connect.

It is not how it looks that determines the type of kiss. It is how they kiss, specifically how it is initiated. The lack of tongue does not make it a closed mouth kiss. Closed mouth kisses lead with puckered lips to touch lips. Open mouth kisses lead with open lips to touch open lips. Close mouth kisses are still, while open mouth kisses change.

Notice how their mouths their lips in these kisses in the Red Room stay connected at the same angle at first, but then they both break/breathe for a second before connecting at a different angle grows/closes.

To phrase it differently, open mouth kisses involve starting with open mouths and trying to close their lips around the other person's. That's why they move, if that makes sense.

The close mouth kiss pulls away with no almost no change in their lip shapes, because they are pulling directly apart. The open mouth kisses are closing in, so the point of contact has to be reconnected when they run out of space.

It has to be an open mouth kiss to be able to involve tongues. They both have to have open mouths when they meet, or open them while they are connected.

Does that make sense?

I really like their open mouth kisses, and you could probably add a small amount of tongue movement to them without changing anything. It is when a couples' mouths are both wide open against each other that I, personally, become disenchanted.

Not using this as an example out of spite, but purely because it visually showcases what I mean. Nicholas and Anne in The Idea Of You:

The second kiss in particular; that to me is barely "kissing" anymore, even though it is technically still a kiss by society's definition. I am super particular about the use of the term "making out" because that second kiss is what "making out" is in my head.

Like Christ, their lips are almost completely perpendicular to each other; to be clearer, the corners of their lips are where the center of the other's lips meet.

Pro Tip: If you ever read a fanfiction of mine, I will specifically avoid using the term "making out" unless there is explicitly stated use of tongues. All of these would count as "lips moving against each other", but only the one from TIOY is "making out".

This is absolutely a personal preference, but that amount of mouth opening and tongue is really unattractive to me. I really love the way the open mouth kisses are in RWRB because they do not do that. I am not opposed to the use of tongue entirely, but god, I do not want that.

As for the sex scenes, the level of explicit they had for the Paris scene was perfect. It showed you everything that was happening, without actually showing you anything, and maintaining the emotional intimacy.

There is something so fucking pure about Alex and Henry’s attraction to each other, even in the sexual nature. Their emotional connection is present the entire time.

In the Red Room/Alex’s bedroom/tack room, there is a hunger and lust between them, yet you can feel that they are not doing it purely for the actual physical pleasure sex brings. They do it because it is fun and makes them genuinely happy, emotionally.

Compare that to the way George pursues sex in Mary & George, and how almost every sexual encounter is driven purely by unsatiable lust for pleasure and power. That is felt in every scene through the acting and cinematography.

In Alex's bedroom and the tack room, before feelings are being recognized, there is still this sense of emotional connection. They are all over each other and want sex.

Examples:

That is not up for debate, but there feels like more. I do not know how they did it, but it is there. I hope above all else that no matter what they do in terms of sexual content in the sequel that it does not lose that feeling.

That is all I wanted to say. Hopefully this made sense!

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[cynicalmusings]

had some thoughts about empath!reader (and ‘empaths’ in general—though spoilers for boothill’s backstory, mentions of dead bodies, some angst, and the post is quite long)…

there’s a kind of poetry i realised in hindsight, in that boothill is one of the only people the reader can truly be ‘themselves’ around; he’s one of the only still-somewhat-humans (as opposed to, say, an intellitron) who won’t trigger their emotional transmission.

the idea i have for how an empath’s abilities work, in a crude and not very detailed way which i’d like to expand on in the future, is that they need skin-to-skin contact for the transmission of emotions across two organisms. this can be done through some degree of physical barrier, e.g. the reader’s gloves, but they still have to be touching living tissue (whether that be directly or not). the reason for this is that it’s cells which tell the stories of a person’s life: cells which live, and die, and heal, and contain imprints of the events in every living creature’s life: healed injuries, the neurotransmitters stimulating emotion which diffuse across synapses, all that stuff. through establishing contact with the cells, these ‘stories’ held within an organism can be transmitted through to the empath, which are interpreted as emotions (and occasionally memories).

furthermore, an empath doesn’t have control over ‘blocking’ this transmission. every time there’s contact, there’s a chance for that emotional spark to fire, meaning they’ll receive the emotions of the one they’re in contact with and transmit some of their own. an empath can train themselves to be less receptive to what they receive and more guarded to prevent their own emotions being read, but that doesn’t mean they can ever stifle either side completely.

that’s why the reader surrounds themselves with machines (in both their hobbies and their companions): it’s only with inorganic material, which has no ‘story’ to transmit, that they won’t be subconsciously influenced by foreign emotions. if a metal component scratches, it doesn’t heal. you replace it or it stays scratched: that’s it. there are no cells at work fighting to heal it. ergo, in the presence of machines, the reader is most like themselves. but of course, machinery is no real replacement for actual human company,

and boothill, who has the emotional capacity and experiences of a human but a body (mostly) of metal, marries the two concepts perfectly. the reader doesn’t have to worry about receiving or revealing their own feelings because of an accidental touch, but they can also interact with somebody who still has emotions in the same way they do. if they need some emotional transmission for whatever reason, they can touch his face. if they don’t, or don’t want to, the rest of him won’t trigger any of those effects.

around boothill, the reader can be themselves, too, but still maintain a human connection with somebody which won’t potentially backfire.

anyway, now onto the other, general empath lore…

after i came up with that ‘cells carry a story’ concept, i started to wonder: can an empath interpret the last emotions of a person shortly after death? the cells in the deceased’s body don’t immediately die; they’re still around for a while. macabre as it is, there’s a reason why bodies can twitch. so, hypothetically, what if there was an empath who runs a service for the loved ones of the recently deceased: somebody brings the body of their loved one, likely people lost suddenly to injury or disease, and the empath reads and shares with them the last feelings which the deceased never had the time to say.

often, the primary emotion they would receive from the body (if this whole concept is possible, which i think it could be) is fear. makes sense for somebody having a sudden death. but under that fear, maybe there’s an inkling of other feelings: confessions they couldn’t make (imagine finding out for sure that your loved one loved you back but never had the chance to tell you—or, for a more painful approach, that they never did love you back at all), secrets they were hiding, any lingering regrets or apologies or words left unsaid which they wanted but couldn’t share. it’s a service which would bring closure to those close to people taken too soon.

(and hell, maybe the reader does this at some point, if they ever get any recently-deceaseds in their clinic, or a patient passes during surgery and they pass any lingering sentiments onto loved ones. god… imagine if, hypothetically (because this would be impossible), the reader found boothill’s adopted daughter’s body shortly after her death and managed to tell boothill that she was thinking of him and loving him right up until the end… ouch.)

so yeah. there’s my brain splurge of empath worldbuilding which came to me in the shower, as all best thoughts do. i really want to work out more intricacies of what it means to be an empath and how they function in the future; it’s a really interesting concept to carry further forwards.

[butterflydm]

wot rewatch 1x4: the dragon reborn

spoilers for s1 of the show plus the s2 teasers and trailers, plus through The Dragon Reborn ish in the books. And one casting spoiler for S3.

I really do love the cold opens. This one tells us so much! We're introduced to Logain but we're also introduced to the corruption on saidin, to how much power can be wielded by users of the One Power, and to how the corruption can both influence someone but Logain still has the choice of whether or not to listen to the voices talking to him.

We see the madness in Logain but also his own strength of character and ability to show mercy even when he's hearing whispers that he should just kill those opposed to him. Great preview of the future for Rand. Especially since Moiraine is going to later on believe that Logain hearing the voices of 'the previous Dragon' to be a sign that he isn't the Dragon Reborn, but it's another thing that she's got her wishful thinking goggles on for.

"There's a place for anyone at my side, even my enemies." ; "The last Dragon broke the world; I plan to bind it." I feel like we're seeing the seeds of some of the choices that Rand will also make in the future here, already being set up (the benefits of being able to tell the story knowing the ending). Logain understands the assignment... he's just not the actual rebirth of the last Dragon.

So we go from Logain at the height of his strength to Nynaeve looking over the camp where he's captured. Having the Greens join the Reds on this hunt makes a lot of sense -- we know that this specific one was requested for by the White Tower, and we can see the difference between this approved hunt to take down a false Dragon (where he gets shielded and put in a cage to stand trial back in Tar Valon) vs the Red-only "gentle ASAP" approach from the cold open of the first episode. Authorized vs unauthorized hunts.

It makes a ton of logistical sense for them to scale down the number of people required to hold the shield on Logain. Just from a 'how many characters we're going to have in this scene' standpoint. Jordan could have as many characters in a scene as he wanted, because he didn't need to have any actors playing them. Plus, this way, we can focus more on the characters that do exist and really get to know them better.

So we already have two factions set up -- Kerene supporting the Amyrlin and Tower Law, and Liandrin arguing that they have the right to administer 'field justice'. Will the fault line of the coup fall along similar lines? I also think it was a good idea to have the Vileness currently happening rather than having happened in the past.

I love all the insights we get in these episodes about Warders, and Warders having their own subculture within the White Tower. And the fun confirmation that Moiraine and Lan are Just Like That and are closed off even to other Aes Sedai and Warders.

Also love all the Lan & Nynaeve build-up that we get as well. <3 a lot of good bonding time and banter and I love that she just clicks with the Warders.

The time that Egwene and Perrin spend with Aram & co is very lovely and charming. Removing Elyas from the equation and putting the hesitation on Perrin was a good move, because it lets the Tuatha'an explain themselves rather than having them explained by an outsider who disapproves of their ways.

Everything about Rand and Mat's roadtrip with Thom is so great. 10/10 would have loved another episode of it but since Amazon didn't let them have one, I do think they did a great job of boiling the trip down to both the narrative and emotional essentials. It really does make me curious about how Thom will be weaved back into the story because he only has connections to three characters now (I'm assuming the backstory with Elayne is intact), rather than knowing the whole troupe, so it feels like it needs to be Rand or Mat that bring him back into the story, but we'll have passed the canon moments when that happens.

There is so much useful lore information in Alanna and Moiraine's convo that show haters just flat-out ignored because it didn't fit their narratives - Alanna straight-up talks about not being able to see Logain's weaves!

Protective!Rand really begins to peek out in this episode, even here at the start with the farmer but more and more as Mat gets worse. Also poor Rand and Mat are covered in mud.

13. Mat and bonding with little girls! If we do get Olver, I hope we get a young girl instead of a boy, to keep on theme. And Birgitte namedrop, still exciting to hear.

14. Last episode, Thom bonded with Mat and, this episode, he bonds with Rand (over concern about Mat). Thom also helpfully puts the idea into Rand's head that Mat has 'all the signs' of being a male channeler, accidentally enabling Rand's massive case of denial that lasts until Moiraine heals Mat and tells them it was the dagger causing his issues. Oh, Thom's story is so heartbreaking here. And Thom promises here to try to keep the two of them safe, and away from Aes Sedai. Really really curious how this setup will play out when Thom returns in s3.

15. Nynaeve getting through her moment of poly confusion now is a great little moment of setup for the viewers too -- showing that this can be acknowledged as a valid relationship in this world. And we will maybe get a hint about Aiel culture next season as well.

16. Poor Moiraine and her pangs of uncertainty over Logain. Uncertainty that will only grow once Nynaeve's power is revealed.

17. Last episode, it was Rand's turn to remind us about his relationship with Egwene -- this episode, it's Egwene's turn, during her private conversation with Aram. I do love Egwene falling into a new culture and immediately finding things about it to love and appreciate. And Perrin is taking the Tuatha'an more seriously than in the books, because it's so much more grounded in the reality and the faith of their world and culture.

18. Rand trying to comfort and reassure Mat, I'm fine. Totally fine. Not emotional at all. And even before they know that the Fade is there in the farmhouse, Thom and Rand are just wanting to get Mat out and safe. Thom is ride or die for these kids after knowing them for a handful of days.

19. Nynaeve is SO curious about Lan and so hesitant to admit to it. You are not intruding! He already has a big crush on you! It's such a lovely moment between them.

20. Moiraine taking advantage of the attack to interrogate Logain... Lirandrin taking advantage of the battle as a reason to justify gentling Logain... they get to be shadows and mirrors of each other too. (Did Liandrin let her part of the shield drop to try to manufacture an excuse, once she realized that his army was attacking or was it just her genuinely taking advantage of an unexpected opportunity once she's able? If Liandrin is being sincere then that lends weight to the speculation that she isn't Black Ajah yet and we'll see her wooed into it over the early parts of S2)

21. I do think it was, again, very smart of the show to actually show us the effects of an Aes Sedai and Warder's bond being severed before it happens to any main characters. And we actually get to see Greens being the Battle Ajah here too.

22. Nynaeve's power burst here really creates another point of uncertainty for Moiraine about the identity of the Dragon Reborn. If Nynaeve is stronger than Egwene, then Egwene cannot be the Dragon. But Nynaeve is too old to fit the prophecy. So now Moiraine has some thinking to do.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

I love your writing.

if it's not too much trouble may i make a request? I'm thinking the Dimitrescu women meeting and/or courting a fellow immortal.

the circumstances of the immortal's powers and possession of immorality are entirely up to you. I just like the idea of them meeting someone they could literally spend forever with...because they deserve it ❤

I wasn't sure if you wanted a story or headcanons? I went with HCs, here, but if you wanted more of a drabble or whatever just lemme know and I'll write something like that.

Also, I got excited and carried away so this has the whole Dimitrescu family, plus shorter ones for both Mother Miranda and Donna. Admittedly Alcina's is also a little on the shorter side? I tried to write everything that came to mind, but I am kinda tired right now, sorry. Might reblog this and add some more later.

(Under read-more for length)

Cassandra:

Tries (and fails) to hide her excitement. Mortality is one of the bigger things that has made her keep her distance to others, at least in the past. Every Maiden she’s ever been the slightest bit smitten with, up until this point, has been incredibly fragile. Seeing as she’s not exactly the softest person, one can easily imagine why that would be a turn off for her. But now that’s no longer a problem!

On the other had… having an immortal partner gives Cassandra pause. Why? Because what if they breakup? Normally, she can just, ahem, “dispose” of any exes (regardless of how much it hurts) so she doesn’t have to see them/deal with them anymore. If that’s not an option, she’ll definitely take longer than usual to do anything about her feelings. She wants to be sure, 100%, before she gets in over her head. Chances are she won’t hold back for as long as she wants though.

Likely to have a loud, messy confession. She’ll have been avoiding you for a few days, always ducking out of whatever rooms you enter, leaving you both hurt and confused. After enlisting the help of her sisters, you’ll be able to corner her outside. She’ll tell you, under no uncertain circumstances, to leave her alone. But you’ll refuse, demanding an explanation.

“I thought we had something. I thought you cared,” you’ll snap, eyes watering. “If that’s changed… if I was wrong, just tell me. I’ll leave and I’ll never come back.” Cue thunder and raining (because tropes) and Cassandra dramatically pulling you into a kiss, holding you so tightly you think you might bruise. Then she’s demanding that you stay, refusing to apologize but making it clear just how much she does care.

Being immortal, you’re not as defenseless as some of Cassandra’s past interests. Naturally, she doesn’t get quite as protective as she normally would. She’ll still have your back no matter what, ready to fight by your side against any foe, and will probably consider doing so a “fun bonding activity”. Oh, some lycans are encroaching on Dimitrescu territory? Time to go destroy them, as a power couple!

Despite having all the time in the world, Cassandra won’t change much of her actual courting behavior, nor the rate at which things advance. She’s still gonna get handsy fairly early on, still gonna “rah!” at you in the hallways, and still going to struggle with her jealousy.

Immortality Compatibility: I can see Cassandra going for another vampire (or vampire adjacent) creature, or someone demonic. She likes her lovers a bit rough, with some nice bite to their personalities. If you’ve got sharp teeth, or claws, or glowing eyes? Oh boy, she’s gonna be making heart eyes at you all the time.

Bela:

If your immortality isn’t immediately obvious, Bela is over the moon with joy when she finds out. Her eyes will go wide for a moment, before she tries to seem calm (so as to not freak you out), but her heart is pounding. This is what she’s been hoping for. As much as Mother Miranda has done for her family, there’s no guarantee that she’d be willing to give more. Even if Miranda granted Bela’s lover her “gift”, there was no telling what the results would be, or if the lover would survive. Now that there’s no need for such a transformation, it’s far easier for Bela to imagine herself in love (and eventually be in love).

Slow-burn romance over a decade or longer, oops. Doesn’t even necessarily mean to take things so slowly, just doesn’t feel a need to rush things, preferring that they develop organically. With both of you having unlimited time, you’re both used to working on a very large timescale. Maidens watching the two of you probably place bets on how long it’ll take you to hold hands for the first time. Everyone knows it’s coming, but no matter how much Cassandra and Daniela complain, Bela refuses to jump into things. By the time the two of you are officially together, you’re probably madly in love with each other.

More protective than Cassandra, if only because she knows just how rare you are. Immortal or not, you likely still have a weakness, and Bela will do everything in her power to make sure no one else knows what it is. If applicable, she will also ensure she has a countermeasure readily available. For example: If you were weak to fire, she’d make sure that the castle keeps extinguishers handy, just in case. Though they should probably already do that. Not that the Dimitrescu family cares much for OSHA compliance.

Somehow grows more in love with you with every passing year, and makes sure that you know this. Whether you’ve been together for one year or one century (because in this house we ignore canon), she’s always performing little acts of love, giving constant reminders of how strongly she feels. Gifts, special dates, book recommendations, etc.

Immortality Compatibility: Bela seems like the type to go for someone with a calming presence, and perhaps somewhat of a contrast to herself. I can picture her with someone somewhat angelic, or druidic, someone very in tune with nature. She’d love to feed deer with you and relax in the forest! Or lay against a tree by your side, listening to you talk about various microorganisms for hours at a time.

Daniela:

Practically tackles you when she finds out/connects the dots. This is just like one of her romance novels, where a lonely (attractive as fuck) immortal spends years in isolation before finally meeting the love of their life, who they get to spend the rest of eternity with. Absolutely ecstatic about the whole situation. Won’t stop kissing you and pulling you close, rambling about how great it’s gonna be to spend your lives together. Honestly? Kind of overwhelming. You might have to remind her a few times that you don’t have to rush into things, considering you have all the time in the world.

Introduces you to people as her “super cool/rad immortal life partner”. Genuinely cannot bring herself to not brag about you. If her sisters haven’t found someone like you yet, you can bet that Daniela will tease them about it all the time (much to their annoyance). If Momma Alcina doesn’t, though? Dani will keep her thoughts to herself, thank you very much (being grounded at her age does not impress the s/o).

Tries not to show it, but she’s actually very nervous. You’re immortal! You’ve probably seen a lot of shit (she certainly has)! Worries about keeping you interested in her, though she would never admit it. This tends to lead to her performing ridiculous acts to showcase her affection, regardless of the cost or, like, whether or not you’d even enjoy whatever she has planned. In order to counter her anxiety, you’ll want to reassure her whenever you can, and give her plenty of “I love you”s.

Strikes a decent balance between Cassandra’s nonchalant attitude and Bela’s protectiveness. Will defend you if you need it, playing up the romantic aspect, but also entirely willing to hide behind you in a scary situation.

Immortality Compatibility: Having probably read Twilight… Dani would date a werewolf, as long as they weren’t the smelly kind. Also interested in a sort of “magical”/elemental type, especially if their powers are influenced by emotions. In other words, if someone flirts with her in front of you, and your response is to subconsciously light your hands/the other person on fire? She thinks that’s hot, pun intended.

Alcina:

“Oh? Interesting,” she’d say, smiling softly (and trying to ignore the heat rushing to her face). Similarly to Cassandra, she’d try to play it off, not wanting to seem too excited. And, well, she’s not as excited as any of her daughters are. After all, she’s had more time than them to “get used” to the idea of outliving any potential romantic interests. So, she’s not exactly desperate for a relationship, even with someone she could spend an eternity with.

That being said, if she is romantically interested in them, she’s very relieved. Outliving a loved one can be incredibly traumatizing (fuck you c*pcom, you know what you did), and knowing that you’re safe (or at least safer than most) brings her no small amount of comfort.

Also, just glad to have another person close to her age around. Her daughters are somewhat stuck as young adults, and I imagine Alcina would want someone who gained immortality a little later in life, such as herself, as opposed to, ya know, reminding her of her children. That probably goes without saying. Hopefully.

More so than her daughters, Alcina would change her level of protectiveness depending on her s/o’s power level. If you’re a shapeshifter who can also turn into a big ass dragon? Then she’s not going to coddle you. If you’re immortal but still vulnerable, then she’s going to do her best to keep you safe, even going so far as to enlist the assistance of her daughters. “If you see a single Maiden growing mistletoe, or bringing some in from the village, let me know immediately,” or something like that, depending on your weakness.

Immortality Compatibility: Definitely would want someone in a situation similar to herself, having once been truly human, only to be “elevated” by something. Bonus points if you’re another disciple of Miranda, double bonus points if Miranda specifically “made” you to be Alcina’s boo/honey/darling/dear.

Bonus! Mother Miranda:

Oh god finally someone who won’t leave her (can’t leave her). No one can take you away from her, and that’s a relief that she’s been craving for over a century. Even if romance isn’t high on her priority list, she welcomes it with open arms, glad to have someone by her side through all of life’s chaos.

Admittedly slow to trust at first, probably just using you as a tool at first. But prove yourself enough, show that your devotion is more than just misdirected self-interest, and she’ll start to warm up to you. Forming a real relationship would likely take a couple decades, similar to with Bela. Once you are together, however, the two of you are inseparable in all matters.

You’d be her #1 follower, most trusted adviser, and the only person allowed to understand 100% of her thoughts and motives. While Miranda wouldn’t allow you to be seen as the same level as her (sorry), you’d still be a legend among the villagers. To them, you’re Mother Miranda’s champion, the epitome of a devoted follower that they all aspire to emulate. Not that they know the two of you are a couple, though.

Immortality Compatibility: No gimmicks, no cheap tricks, she wants (and respects) a fellow scientist, someone who clawed their way through adversity and forged themselves into something indestructible. Double the interest if you did so for a similar cause to her own, as she would appreciate your ability to relate to her suffering.

Bonus! Donna:

Someone to play with! FOREVER! No more losing people she cares about, no more accidentally breaking people, no more people scrambling to leave. Now that she has you, she can finally spend some quality time with another (living?) person. Honestly her dolls (or at least Angie) are just as excited as she is. Regardless of her relations with the other three Lords, Donna much prefers the company of a lover.

For real though she’s shy as hell and you might not even realize who’s pulling the strings until you’ve been in her house for over a year. She’d probably use her powers to trap you inside, at least at first, though they’d be nice hallucinations. You’d have to treat the dolls nicely, especially Angie, before she’d let you interact with her.

Eventually you’d be allowed to leave, and you’d be given a key to return whenever you wanted to. Assuming that you do, in fact, come back, the two of you would have a very, very slow romance, if only because of Donna’s anxiety. Hand holding makes both of your faces turn beet red, seriously.

Immortality Compatibility: *chanting* GHOST GIRLFRIEND GHOST GIRLFRIEND POLTERGEIST PARTNER POLTERGEIST PARTNER WOOHOO! Something with a flexible, only-sometimes-tangible form, who absolutely could have left at any time but didn’t because they wanted to stay.

[dylanlila]

i think what confuses people about mike and rightfully so (and this is actually in the text, it's just painfully underdeveloped :) is that he's both extremely logical and extremely kind-hearted. and since he's so underwritten, it seems like these qualities are in contradiction and one of them shouldn't be there at all, when actually s4!mike would make a lot of sense if he was written with more nuance. because these qualities can crash under specific circumstances, but can also work extremely well having individual character logic in mind. (and for mike, his friends are a big part of that personal world and its mechanics) will has gone missing? mike HAS to keep looking for him until he finds him. dustin says you can't have more than one best friend? mike opposes dustin's logic specifically and claims the opposite not because he believes he's right, but because he knows he is based on evidence, the evidence being the time he's spent with these three people. he always tries to make sense out of things and he's always quick to find the pattern in everything based on what he's seen in the past which is why he's also quick to follow that same pattern and is unwilling to give up on it until the situation is led to a satisfying conclusion. (once that is done, he has to find a new challenge and a new problem to solve right away) waiting around for things to unfold is not an option to him, he has to take action 1) because he wants his friends to be safe 2) because it's rational and 3) the first two reasons are connected, painted one over the other, easily mixed up when and only when mike doesn't count himself into the equation. that's where these qualities crash. when mike is forced to make sense of himself. this is why that funny moment in s2 when he picks up a candlestick while everybody else is holding an actual weapon works not only as comic relief (and maybe i'm looking too much into this), but explains mike in a more profound sense. he eliminates himself, as in the person that he is, from the equation and functions on his default setting which is -> when there's a problem, that problem must be solved no matter the person's individual characteristics unless they can somehow lead to success (in doing that, in denying himself from these qualities he's taking away the puzzle pieces that would help his self-discovery. aren't the little things exactly what makes a life?) that is a common thread with him, especially if he's the person to be reduced to a chess piece which he finds weirdly comfortable. an example of these qualities crashing against each other is in s3, when el is the perfect solution to a problem, yes, but she's also putting herself in danger by solving that problem (note: which mike has seen happen, he's seen how her powers can affect her well-being, it's a rational concern which i feel like is an important observation to add) and mike is not only worried, but in complete distress. when he's explaining himself to max and the others he also sounds like he's explaining his reasoning to himself. he isn't just defensive of his viewpoint, he's also nervous and overwhelmed and overstimulated. that's why that monologue resulted in an emotional outburst. (which is still a love confession, no matter how you categorize mileven as a relationship) i really really wish all of this was taken into account during s4 because there could have been a perfect culmination of all of this with mike starting high school and being forced to reexamine himself and reevaluate the idea of normalcy he wants to fit into. (i love the first little hints of authenticity in mike's hair and wardrobe in s4 :") also that moment in s1 when he stands up for el to lucas? i see it as something mike struggled with understanding in retrospect. he can be quite impulsive, especially when his loved ones are involved, but the difference between s1 and s4 mike is that s4 mike is aware of that impulsivity and feels the need to tone it down because he doesn't understand where it comes from. conclusion: mike wheeler is the head, not the heart of the group.

afterthought: there's an interesting discussion to be had on dustin and mike and how dustin is logical in a way that mike wants to be, but he's also in touch with his emotions in a way that mike isn't. (it's like mike's moments of emotional intelligence are rooted in impulsivity or instinctive reactions and that's why they aren't as present after s2 for the reasons i listed above)

[themelodicenigma]

“Sora is unsure how to define his relationship with Riku”

??? I wonder where/when this became a thing? They're literally best friends, very close, there's like...so much content covering it—there's nothing in the story that has said or has prompted him to be confused on his relationship with Riku. The only thing I could think of that this idea came from is from an old misunderstanding about the Arendelle section in the KH3 Character Files:

“I wonder if the connection between sisters is kind of like what me and Riku have. Even if we fight or if we’re apart, somewhere in our hearts, we know that we’re still connected. I wonder if that’s what it’s like to be sisters.”

Some people took this (maybe still do) as Sora being unsure of the nature of his relationship with Riku, while others took it as him saying he and Riku are like siblings. The former is entirely incorrect based on probably misreading the line, while the latter is only more a possible implication based on the intention of the text.

Sora knows what his relationship with Riku is like—he literally just gave the example of knowing you're connected despite fighting or being apart. What Sora is wondering, is if what he and Riku share is what Elsa and Anna also share, that is, if his relationship with Riku is something similar to the relationship between sisters. The only thing he’s inquiring is the nature of sisters. He is indeed comparing his relationship with Riku to that of a sisterly relationship—he wouldn’t wonder about it himself unless he thought it could be applicable. This was obviously written because in the game, Sora makes a literal parallel between Elsa and Riku's actions. The short story furthers the train of thought, basically. As a writing tool, both of these examples can reasonably establish the sibling connotation onto Sora and Riku, but it's not as blatant as say what's been written for Terra and Aqua about Ven. It's not a hard boiled, established fact to be fair.

There definitely is an idea Sora using Riku as an example IS an indicator of knowing they're like siblings. Though, he isn't comparing relationship types, but the nature and functionality of the relationships. But, it does make sense, as most people wouldn't want to compare two conflicting relationship types with each other as a way to define the nature of either, which is different than comparing specific things that would apply to both. This quote does work in favor of the idea of implication of sibling connotation, but it also doesn't have to, without assuming so much of Sora's real, active reasoning of using Riku outside of the obvious pretense of the established parallel between Elsa and Riku. For me, it definitely is an establishment of the connotation, but that's from a writing purpose view as opposed to purposeful intent from Sora himself.

That is, it's really more an implication of application, but writing often takes the route of "confirmation through implication" in the many avenues you can place meaning contextually. Parallels in and of themselves are typically meant to have this function unless they're contextually refuted. Sometimes the objective is just to create the idea by simply placing a connotation to represent the actual relationship or some factor pertaining to it e.g. the "brother" usage from Vanitas to Ven and Sora—this is obviously significant of the existential connection as opposed to a conventionally positive, emotional relationship.

It definitely has nothing to do with him being confused about his relationship with Riku, but it's up to your own willingness to take it as a sibling connation being applied to Sora and Riku.

[13uswntimagines]

We’ve Got Your Back (Alpha!Christen x Reader)

Request: Alpha christen press fic😍 and does it make me a horrible person cuz I want to see what christen would do to Hinkle? (Not to mention broon, uncle, ash....) 

Pt. 1

Author’s Note: So this turned out a touch different than i had planned. Let me know what you think! 

It was strange being back here. Back in the city, the stadium, that had almost been the sight of your demise. At least they had stuck the team in the visitor’s locker room. You didn’t know if you could have handled being back in that room. 

You rolled your shoulders and tapped the ball back towards Lindsey, sending the alpha a tight smile and trying to drown out the sea of unpleasant emotions threatening to pull you under. 

It was a stupid idea for Us soccer to have the team face off against the NWSL Allstars. You were part of the NWSL for goodness sake, it wasn’t like you didn’t play against these people already. It also meant you had to play against Her in the stadium she tortured you in. 

“How you holding up?” Christen asked, suddenly coming up behind you. She grabbed your clenched hand, coaxing your fingers open and intertwining them with her own. She let out a wave of her calming scent, trying to soothe you as much as she could with minimal contact. 

Though the two of you had… consummated your matting, and despite your normal cocky flirting, the two of you really weren’t into public displays of affection and there were thousands of eyes on you right now. 

You hadn’t even realized you were digging your fingernails into your palms. 

“Great now that you’re here hot stuff,” You tried to smile convincingly back at your mate, squeezing her hand tightly. She let out another wave of her calming scent, her eyes flickering around your face. 

One of the first lessons she had learned from Rose was that you never said when you were uncomfortable, but your tells always gave you away. 

“Always the charmer,” Christen said, a light blush covering her cheeks. 

You smirked at the alpha, shrugging. “It’s hard not to be when you always come out here looking like that”

She rolled her eyes at you, entirely used to your flirting. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that it was a coping mechanism for you. Whenever you were stressed or uncomfortable, your flirting intensified. 

It was a way for you to avoid your true emotions. 

“I’m literally wearing the same outfit as the rest of the team,”

You pulled your blushing alpha closer to you by your connected hands. You ran your nose over her cheek  “Hmm, but the rest of the team doesn’t have the-,”

The comment died on your lips when you caught sight of a certain alpha. You tensed even though she was stuck on her half of the field, separated from you by nearly the entire squad and the team of “Allstars”. But none of that had mattered last time. It hadn’t mattered that you were in a room full of people (nearly half of which were your national team teammates) or that the coaching staff knew what she was doing. 

Christen’s eyes followed yours, and she couldn’t suppress her growl (both for the other player being included in this game and the unpleasant emotions fluttering through your bond). 

“Vlatko swapped us, so you can stay on the left today. I’ll take the right and Alex will stay center,”

“You guys don’t need to do that. I can handle it,” You mumbled, suddenly finding the way your cleats ran through the grass incredibly interesting. 

Christen sighed, running a finger under your chin, grazing your scent gland as she tilted your chin up. “We know you can, just let us be a little protective over you, alright?”

You nodded biting your lip. You weren’t a weak omega, and you knew that the second you hit the field whatever grand plan they had was going to go right out the window. 

Well, part of it at least. You were sure that a certain alpha’s very white uniform was about to be stained very very green. 

****

You launched yourself across the pitch towards your mate, barely stopping to watch as your shot sailed past Jane Campbells outstretched fingers. You were having a blast skirting past the all-star defender, and fielding through passes and crosses from the Mewis’ and The great Horan. 

“Good goal baby,” Christen said, smiling wildly as she scooped you up in her arms and pressed a kiss to your neck, just above your mating mark. 

You pulled back, smiling at the alpha and flicking her lightly on the nose. “Good? That was fucking amazing! Did you see me put Stanton on her ass?”

Christen nodded, setting you back on your feet with a wide smile. “Yeah, and Kling. But I think I’ve seen Tobin do the same footwork before. I call plagiarism,”

You pouted, flicking the side of your alphas head again. “That’s not fair, I deserve a reward,” 

Christen grabbed your wrist as it migrated down her waist with an eye roll. “Behave little one,” 

She growled playful at you, about to lean up and nip your neck again, but the presence behind her stopped her. You whined loudly, displeased that she had stopped. 

“Get your omega under control Press,” You tensed at the alpha’s voice, burying your face in Christen’s neck, afraid that even the scent of Hinkle would make you lose your composure altogether. 

Christen's growl turned low and dangerous and was echoed by several of the teammates beginning to crowd around you. When your alpha promised the team would have your back, she meant it. 

“Come on Y/n,” Mal said, cautiously breaking from the group to approach you. Her hand carefully touched your back, avoiding any skin. No one wanted to test your alpha's control any more than the asshat on the field was. 

Christen made eye contact with the omega inching towards you, tearing her gaze from Hinkle. She nodded at Mal, coaxing you out of her neck and kissing your cheek. “go babydoll,” raising her eyebrow when you wined, but still pushing you towards Mal. You poured as Mal dragged you across the field, away from the brewing storm. 

You didn’t need to be in the middle of an alpha battle. You wouldn’t tell anyone, but you were fragile and she didn’t want you to have to feel her dominance when she put Hinkle in her place. 

She didn’t want to risk accidentally forcing you to submit. She would die before she did that. 

“that one needs a firmer hand,” Hinkle scoffed, as Christen walked back towards her position, waiting for Sheridan to put the ball back into play. 

“Why don’t you mind your own business?” Christen growled lowly, her eyes following you as you grossed the field with Mal. Lindsey sent her a stiff not. The entire team was behind you. 

“Just saying that I could give you some pointers if you wanted them,” Hinkle shrugged as though she didn’t feel the insane tension on the pitch. Christen scoffed catching her arm, spinning the alpha to look at her. She didn’t need any advice on how to deal with you. You were a handful, but you were her handful, and she was glad you were comfortable enough with her to show her your playful side. 

“Don’t waste your breath,” Christen said, letting out her dominant scent. 

*****

The Women’s national team was known for its impeccable control. With so many strong alphas in one place, it was imperative for the team's functionality and their commitment to equality.

But tonight that control was nowhere to be found, and it wasn’t just the alphas that were going a little crazy. The pitch was total chaos and at the epicenter was Hinkle. 

From the crazy tackles Lindsey, Becky, and Christen herself were committing, to the lengths Rose, Mal, and Alex all went to keep you as far from the Alpha as possible while still letting you put balls on goal. Vlatko’s tactics had gone out the window and the team was operating like a disaster (a very successful disaster as you had already scored 4 times against the all-stars, but a disaster nonetheless). All teeth and growls. 

You were just thankful that the game was over, and that you could finally escape the place with so many bad memories. And the mix of dominant pheromones that hung in the air, putting you even more on edge. 

You headed back towards the tunnel, uncharacteristically ignoring the opposing team trying to approach you for handshakes, and the fans screaming for your attention. It was unnerving to have your typically dosel alpha acting so aggressive. 

It pulled your inner omega so close to the surface, and you weren’t sure how you felt about that. 

“You know it’s wrong to ignore your superiors little omega,” The voice stopped you in your tracks. Your shoulders hunched and you seemed to almost fold in on yourself. 

An arm wrapped around your waist, shielding you from Hinkle. You relaxed a little at the scent of your best friend's mate. “Just ignore her,” Mal said softly, pulling you into her. 

Hinkle snarled at the two of you, rushing forwards to stand right in your path. You took in a sharp breath, your nose twitching at the press of Hinkle’s pheromones. You fought the urge to submit, the urge she had drilled into your skull from the time you joined the Courage to the time you finally made your escape. 

“What, your alpha didn’t teach you any manners either,” 

Mal tensed around you. You squeezed your eyes shut tight, waiting for the next blast of her potent scent. The one that would bring both of you to your knees. The one from your memories. 

“You need to back the fuck off,” Ashlyn’s protective growls were suddenly separating you from Hinkle, shortly joined by Becky, Alex, Rose, and Lindsey. 

“Or what?” She challenged, stepping up so she was eye to eye with the much taller alpha. 

“Come on girlies, let’s get you to the back, they can handle this,” Ali said softly, trying to pull you and Mal around the wall of alphas and the dominant cloud of pheromones beginning to form. You let her pull you around the alphas, trying to keep your head down. 

“No, she stays,” Hinkle sneered, catching your wrist as you passed. 

The reaction of the team was instant, but none was more prominent than your own alpha’s (who had been caught up singing posters with Tobin). It was a big No-no to touch someone else’s mate. 

“Take your hand off of her. NOW,” Christen growled, sending a wave of very dominant and very terrifying pheromones directly towards Hinkle. Even the little edge that caught you made you freeze and sent a shiver down your spine. The alpha immediately released you and whimpered as she fell to her knees. 

Christen smirked viciously (her typical kind-hearted ness nowhere to be found). She was the stronger alpha, and she wanted Hinkle to know how it felt to be forced to submit. She wanted her to feel the humiliation of being surrounded by people who wouldn’t help her. She wanted her to know what she put you through. 

Mal and Ali both tucked you into them and started directing you towards the locker room. Emily stepped in behind you, shielding you from where your alpha was towering over the shaking Hinkle. 

They were right, you didn’t need to see this. 

*****

The walk back to the locker room was short, but it felt like forever. The omegas spent it emitting their soothing scents, trying to calm your frayed nerves (which were only amplified by the emotions fluttering down your bond with Christen). 

If the little edges of Christen's dominant pheromones were that strong, you could only imagine what it felt like to be caught in a full blast. That thought alone terrified you. She was always so careful with you, but what if she lost control. 

“Shh, kid you’re ok,” An arm wrapped around you and gentle hands guided your shaking form to sit on the bench. 

You shook your head rapidly. You were a lot of things right now, but ok wasn’t one of them. 

You opened and closed your mouth several times, but no sound would come out. What if you upset your alpha and made her lose control? You loved to push her buttons. 

“Hey, You gotta breath y/n,” Mal said, suddenly appearing crouched in front of you. She grabbed your hands, flattening out your palms to prevent your nails from digging further into your arms. She bit her lips at the stressful pheromones pouting off of you, she had only seen you like this once. A very long time ago (ironically in the same place you were now). 

“Em, go get Rose,” She said, not taking her eyes off of you. Your best friend was probably the only person who could help you. 

Emily’s eyes widened. There was a reason why most of the team’s omegas were in the locker room instead of hanging out in the field with their mates. It was one thing to put an arrogant alpha in their place, and another to risk accidentally forcing an omega to submit. 

The team was insanely protective, and going out there while their instincts were on edge wasn’t a good idea. 

“I think she’s got her-...” Emily started softly, lightly touching Mal’s shoulder. 

“Wasn’t a question,” Mal growled, cutting her off, and finally taking her eyes off of you. You whimpered at the tone, your head tilting slightly and Emily nodded rapidly. 

“Right, I’ll go right now,”  

She exited the room at a near run. She didn’t quite understand what was wrong, but she knew you desperately needed someone. 

****

Emily wasn’t sure what she expected when she exited the tunnel, but it wasn’t Rose and Christen standing over a shaking Hinkle (she would have pegged Ashlyn and Becky as way more likely to get themselves into this situation). 

As she approached the group (and the insane cloud of pheromones, seriously they were going to need to fumigate the place)she caught the tail end of Christen's deep rumble. “That’s a despicable excuse for-...”

“I’m sorry to interrupt this-...” Emily said slowly coming up behind her alpha. She kept her eyes down and her hands out, very careful not to provoke the angry hoard any further. 

Lindsey whipped around, gulping to try and restrain her instincts. She lightly grabbed her omega’s wrist to prevent her from getting closer to the scene. All hell would break loose if one of the omega’s accidentally got hurt. “Go back to the locker room. We’ll be there after we finish,”

Emily shook her head, finally looking into her alphas eyes. “No. You don’t-“ 

Lindsey’s eyes hardened as she cut her omega off. “I’m serious Em,”

Emily glared at her alpha, ripping her arm from her grasp. “So am I. I need Rose or Chris because y/n is like having a panic attack,” She practically spat. 

She hadn’t known you for as long as Mal had, but she still felt the omega bond with you. The overwhelming urge to protect one of their own when they were in distress. If they needed an alpha to help you, then an alpha she would get, come hell or high water. 

Christen and Rose both looked up at the mention of your name, as did the alpha on her knees.  The alphas seemed to blink back to themselves, letting up on their emission of pheromones. 

“Pathetic,” the woman on the ground mumbled.

The answering growl from the group was instant, low, and very dangerous. “Don’t you start,” Ashlyn said, her voice deadly soft before looking back up at the two struggling alphas. “Go, we can finish this,” 

Rose and Christen nodded, sending one last snarl towards Hinkle before following Emily down the tunnel. 

****

Christen took in a sharp breath at your distinct scent, freezing in the doorway. The locker room air was saturated with stressed and terrified pheromones. Any remaining anger she may have felt for the asshole out on the field disappeared and was replaced by worry for you. 

Rose moved first, pushing past your frozen mate and joining her omega on the floor in front of you, crouching down to your level. If you noticed newcomers to the room, you didn’t show it. You were stiffly sitting on the bench in the corner, staring off into space. 

Rose gently rubbed your knee, trying to bring you back to yourself. “Hey Kitkat, what’s going on?”

You blinked down at the alpha, your head tilting automatically. “Nothing. I’m fine,” you said robotically and Rose’s eyebrows furrowed. 

She had only seen you like this once, and that was after-... it was too horrible to even consider. 

“Yeah, no one believes that,” She mumbled, using a finger to stop you from showing off your neck. 

“I -...” you started, but the words got stuck in your throat, caught between an answer and a sob. 

“Did all the pheromones bring back bad memories?” Christen asked, finally taking a step inside the room. She had gotten very good at reading you since you had mated and she knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. 

You nodded, finally looking up at the alpha. Your alpha. You took her in, how she seemed more relaxed (minus the worried lines in her forehead) and her scent was its usual cinnamon and spice. 

The heavy dominance was gone. It wasn’t the terrifying figure that had confronted a monster from your past, no this was your Chris. 

She took another few slow steps towards you. Rose and Mal moved out of the way to give your alpha room in front of you. 

“You’re just so strong. What happens if I push too far?” You asked quietly. 

And finally, the pieces clicked in everyone’s heads. Christen shook her head and took your hands. “I would never baby. What you saw-. It’s different with other alphas,” 

It was embedded in the fabric of the team (and the countries) culture. You never ever forced an omega to submit, but submission had a different effect on alphas. It wasn’t uncommon for them to assert dominance over each other, and forcing full submission was a way to show an errant alpha bow off base they were. Alphas didn’t experience the emotional distress that came with full-blown submission. 

“Promise?” You asked, your voice small. 

“With everything I am. You can poke and prod and make me blush, but I will never do what she did to you,” Christen said, kissing the back of your hand and looking you in the eyes to show you just how serious she was. 

She waited for your shoulders to relax before releasing a wave of her soothing scent and pulling you into her. You trusted her, and you felt comfortable that she would keep her promise. 

If she didn’t you knew about 22 people who would have your back. 

[blakelywintersfield]

Minors

Okay so, I originally wrote this in response to this post (my friend's reblog is linked instead of the original because OP either deleted it from their blog I guess?), but I feel like this constitutes as its own post.

I know this may sound like an overbearing parent "don't trust strangers on the internet" talk, but like. I don't think a lot of you understand just how quickly a situation can escalate; it's scary. I mean that not in a condescending "you think you're untouchable you stupid little child, you don't really know what the world is like" way either, but as in, I don't think internet safety is being taught realistically, so those things you're told to watch out for are far-fetched or already seem suspect.

Predators don't work the way TV shows joke that they do -- most predators aren't going to try and message you at random posing as a teenage girl and attempt to strike up a friendship. A lot interact in community spaces like tumblr, where some level of anonymity is allowed, and it's not odd for there to be people of both minor and adult ages. They interact with a variety of people -- not just targets. They will have full-fledged social circles. Their blogs and social interactions will look like literally any other person's on here.

Then, of the different blogs they follow, they end up interacting a lot with a certain user. Maybe the kind of humor clicks, or similar opinions, or interests. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how people make friends. Maybe then they start by sending an ask, or a message, or whatever, and that continues for a bit until you two are kind of acclimated to one another, and then, as far as everyone is concerned, it's just a new friend! Neat! That's how you make friends on the internet. They most likely did this with their other friends on tumblr. Nothing weird. In this hypothetical, the minor party has their full name and city public.

But then this person you make friends with -- the way you would any other person on this website -- turns out to be 10+ years your senior. Which like. Honestly, you don't have to cut them out of your life and block them immediately, but you inform them you're 10 years younger than them. A responsible adult would respond to that knowledge with anything from the range of "oh holy shit you're baby uhh I feel a little weird interacting with you so personally" to "oh goodness you are a youngling I will now enter caregiver/parent-like mode". And there will be an established tone from there of "we may still interact but there is going to always be a set emotional distance". It'll have a different dynamic/feeling to the friendships you have with people your age. And it should. Both parties can still care about each other! But this isn't someone you would like. Hang out one on one with. You wouldn't hang out with your mom's friend one on one, or at your teacher's home alone. That'd be weird, right? That should be the same kind of vibe you get with any adult "friendship" you make online (I put friendship in quotes because I feel like... there's a better term for it, or should be one that establishes that adult/minor relationship, but if there is I can't for the life of me remember it).

But maybe that person doesn't go down that path. Maybe it comes off that way at first, but there's a subtle level of emotional manipulation that is subtle enough that you're not certain you can accuse them of being manipulative. "Oh wow, you're so much younger than me... do you still want to talk to me / be friends / etc.? I can leave you alone now if you want." Warning sign #1: they are pressuring you to make the decision; they are placing responsibility on you. And it might feel a little mean to just drop communication all of a sudden because of age -- you got along fine before. Why should that change anything? That's a rational thought process, but it's also the one that benefits them too.

So hypothetically, you say "no it's okay, we can still talk. we were talking just fine before we found out each other's ages so why should that change?" And then maybe the conversation continues normally from there. But then they continue interacting with you as your peers would. You guys talk about stuff that's been stressing you or your problems, just like you would with your peers. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Warning sign #2: That form of emotional connection isn't normal with an adult/minor relationship. I have minors that follow me. They have talked to me about their problems, and I've offered advice and wisdom; I don't condemn that because, well. As adults, we should help guide the younger if asked. But when it comes to my troubles, I limit how much I discuss with them. I don't bring them up myself (it's often brought up by the other party because I'll post about it on here, like a vent post or whatever). And while I don't brush them off with a short "don't worry about it", I make it clear -- I appreciate that you care enough to make sure I'm okay (because their sympathy / care is just as valuable as an adult's), but even if I'm not okay, the burdens and problems surrounding my troubles will be dealt with by me. I don't ask them for advice. I don't goad them for sympathetic words. And it's not that I believe they couldn't give good advice, or their sympathy means less, but an adult should not be relying on a minor for those levels of emotional labor. That established emotional connection where both parties exchange advice and comfort is how predators manipulate their victims because it's subtle and seemingly harmless, and difficult to paint them as a bad person when you have that level of emotional trust.

And once that emotional connection is established, that's when things can escalate, and get scary, quickly.

One day while talking they will probably bring it up -- the way one of your peers would. Something along the lines of "hey can I tell you something?" or "there's something I want to tell you but I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore if I do" etc. etc.; with that peer/peer dynamic, that'll make you anxious, sure. You'd probably get anxious if they were your own age and said that too. So then, it comes out in some form that "I like you, but like... as more than a friend" or "I think you're really cute; I have for a bit now actually" or something similar. Obviously then it's uncomfortable.

But then you realize -- this is an adult. This is someone who has access to transportation. This is someone that doesn't have to report to someone (i.e. a minor can't just say "I'm going out of town for a week bye!" like your parents would, or SHOULD, be like "uh okay where are you going, who are you going to be with, why, etc. etc. etc."). And they know your full name and a general idea of where you live. You could just block them then and there and remove that information from your blog. But what if they already saved it? What if they already used one of those websites where you can look up a person's address by name for $5? What if they already know where you live, and they had planned on asking to meet up? They might know where you live. And you can't confirm or deny that they know. You can't say for sure if you removed that information before they saved it and used it for that purpose. Suddenly, there's the very real possibility that a pedophile that admitted to being attracted to you knows where you live.

Then what do you do? You should tell your parents or a trusted authority figure. But you're also a teenager and there's the likelihood that your parents might brush it off, or get angry with you, and you might get your internet taken away, etc., which is stressful because that takes away a major social area. To build upon the anxiety with that, there's the risk of unknowing if this person does know where you live, and if they do, if they are just unstable enough to do something drastic, like, y'know. Kidnap you. Because they know where you live. And they may know your school schedule too. And if your parents or trusted authority figure doesn't know about this situation, you may end up a missing child never found at worst, or found with far more trauma (5 years of life being kidnapped as opposed to a few months) that could've been avoided had someone known the situation.

But to 100% ensure your safety, it would have to be reported to the police. Because your parents can't do anything about the fact that a pedophile on the internet might know where you live. They can't confirm or deny that they know, and if they did, there's not much they can do other than keep an eye out for someone that looks out of the ordinary. But if they're most likely not home at the same time you are all the time. So, having the police involved ensures your safety -- if you open a case. You can report it to the police, and they'll ask: do you want to press charges (because it could be considered a form of child endangerment). If you say no, then that guarantees if you are kidnapped, that person would be the first they'd look to as a suspect. But to avoid that kidnapping risk at all, you'd have to say yes. And you're a kid that's now having to get involved in court just to avoid any risk to your safety because a pedophile may or may not have your address and may or may not be someone that would abduct their target, and so even if they didn't have your address and wouldn't kidnap you, you are now in a legal situation, which is. extremely. stressful. As someone's who's dealt with the court system a lot it's stressful no matter what.

And sure, you could omit the last step. But then you'll have that looming anxiety for as long as you're a minor that there is a possibility this person may show up at your house at some point. And that anxiety is fucking torture. I know it firsthand, I know all of this up to the legal portion firsthand, because this is exactly how I got tangled up with a pedophile in high school. That anxiety can make you paranoid. It impacts your sleep, which impacts your emotional tolerance and your concentration. It looms and there's nothing you can do to get rid of it other than convince yourself "they probably don't have my address; they probably won't find me". And that logic becomes sounder as time passes. But it requires time to pass, and in the meantime, you sit in constant suffering suspense.

It's just not fucking worth it, okay? You might think "this would never happen to me" but like. I was the fat emo weirdo in high school, literally considered attractive by no one and told so by peers and I still had it happen to me. So don't think "I'm not appealing enough" or whatever. Put self-esteem issues aside here, because to them, you're underage and at a power dynamic disadvantage not just physically, but most likely emotionally too. They care that you're a certain (under)age and can be manipulated into sexual acts. They will target you no matter how ugly you think you are or how unattractive your peers have convinced you.

So please. As an adult, that went through this situation (and could've had it turn out a lot worse tbh) -- do not disclose your real name (especially last names), location more specific than country, phone number, or school publicly online or to anyone you cannot 100% trust. I practice half of these in adulthood just to err on the side of caution since a full name and phone number alone could be used to find my address, and there are some preeeeetty unstable people out there. As a minor, absolutely no one needs any information unless you plan on meeting them in person, which should only be done after you've gotten to know them extremely well and both parties' parents know and are involved. It doesn't need to be on your public profile, and it shouldn't be on your public profile. I want your social media experience to be as enjoyable as possible, I don't want you feeling like you have to constantly keep an eye out for predators. But to keep yourself as safe as possible, don't purposefully make that information public. It's simple, but it’ll help you avoid so much potential stress.

Please stay safe.

[tempenensis]

philosophy of “moving forward”

Human civilization as a whole is something that always changing. Culture as part of civilization construct adapts and evolves together with human who creates it. In the evolution of ancient to modern culture, believe in myth and words of mouth on the nature of unknown things changes gradually to studying them using science; in this science is the driving force of culture change and the old believe is the opposing force.   

A subtle theme that slowly surfacing is the clash of old tradition to the new, more progressive thinking. Old tradition and rules are opposed and changes are happening gradually - and while it’s been bubbling for long, it's now culminated in one controversial life of Itadori Yuuji. 

the old and rotting : the Great Three Families

One of main undertones during student fights in the Kyoto exchange goodwill arc is how old jujutsu tradition underlined to be contrasting with the more modern principles most Tokyo students follows. This especially prominent in the fights of Momo vs Kugisaki and Fushiguro vs Kamo, and secondary drive in Maki vs Mai.      

In one of elite jujutsushi bloodline, the Zen’in family, perfection is a must.  “Possessing inherited curse technique of Zen’in family”. Other than that, they are failure in starting life as jutsushi. Even among them, women are not allowed to stand in the starting line. 

Looking at these alone, it implies on how old tradition put manifesting inherited technique among anything else and especially the discrimination towards women. It reflects the view in our real history, where women used to be banned from doing works and jobs considered masculine -- a view that has largely abandoned since women rights to be in the same level with men gained approval worldwide. 

Momo’s saying this to Kugisaki is not wrong per se, since she herself probably experiences this; emphasizing Kugisaki’s naivety to old tradition that a lot of jujutsushi still largely follow. Kugisaki herself is also not in the wrong; she’s someone who puts her ego over everything - she has her own individualistic view that keeps her apart as her own person.

Another view of old tradition is the bloodline over everything else. It’s understandable if you consider the way they prized inherited technique over everything. To ensure that the inherited technique can manifest along the bloodline, one of the way is to keep the bloodline ‘pure’, to say. That’s why marriage among blood relation is probably the norm, even though the only clue of this is Naoya in the latest chapter, who considers which one of the twin is “good”, further emphasizing how little women is respected in this household. 

Ironically in bloodline with a lot of inbreeding, it’s not the strength that is accumulated, but rather the weakness. For example, in Habsburg dynasty who used to rule Europe in the past, their long history of inbreeding caused their offspring to manifest a lot of genetic disorder - one of which is a physical disability named as their own, Habsburg jaw. Charles II of Spain was the most famous example of this. As a result of inbreeding along the Habsburg bloodline, Charles II inherited a lot of genetic disorders including the Habsburg jaw. He was even know as “the Bewitched” because of his appearance. 

In line with this are Kamo Noritoshi and Fushiguro Megumi, who were born not out of inbreeding, but possessing the inherited technique of their respective clan. Noritoshi manifests Blood manipulation technique despite being a mistress’s son. While we don’t know Megumi’s mom, it is implied that she was a normal person since Touji had left the Zen’in and would be hard-pressed if he was to marry a woman from the same bloodline since he hated the clan. And I would not be surprised if Satoru is revealed actually to be a mistress son too in the future.

As if to condemn this believe, Heavenly Restriction sometimes manifest in these clan. Touji and Maki are bound with restriction of having reduced curse energy in exchange of superhuman strength. If you think about it, superhuman strength is actually way more effective weapon to be used in exorcising curse than innate curse technique that is usually simpler and weaker. All they need is some cursed tools to use. But of course, old tradition condemns them since barehanded, both Touji and Maki can’t exorcise curses.

Women being lesser than men, bloodline purity and inherited technique obsession, twins being bad omen, and the heavenly restriction being a viewed as a curse rather than a gift -- all of the believe that composed the old tradition is actually more harmful for the jujutsushi society as a whole. Theirs is an industry who is always chronically short-handed, so you would think that if there are more people available to do the job is better. But they don’t think so just because of outdated tradition. And Zenin Naoya is created as the poster child of it. He embodies everything old that Gojo Satoru discards and loathes. 

education as driving force : Kyoto vs Tokyo

Back in vol 0, Getou calls Kyoto to be holy land of jujutsu and Shinjuku, Tokyo to be crucible of curses, where large number of curses can be found.

If we look over the history of these two places, it’s quite reasonable. Kyoto used to be the old capital of Japan, used to be named Heian. As we know, Heian period when Kyoto was designated as Japan capital is known as jujutsu golden age, when jujutsu developed rapidly, curses ran amok, and Sukuna trumped over everyone as the King of curses. We still don’t know where each of Great Families (Osanke) designated locations, but as the remaining of old capital, it is actually not surprising if the Osanke is located mainly in Kyoto, especially the Zen’in and Kamo. This also implies in Naoya speaking Kansai dialect and how Kyoto school shaped.   

The influence of old tradition is prominent in Kyoto Jujutsu school. First, most of the students are somehow connected to jujutsu families. Noritoshi is Kamo clan’s heir. Mai is one of the Zen’in. Momo with her way of speaking seems also to be raised in a jujutsu family. Kokichi has Heavenly restriction which we know is inherited among children of jujutsu clan. Other than them, Toudou and Miwa seem to be not from jujutsu clan, but they are probably admitted because of influence of their mentors - and the two of them have different mindset compared to the rest of the students. 

Second, when the Kyoto principal asked the students to kill Yuuji during exchange meetings, the four agreed to it readily since that’s how their custom dictates. Todo did not like that idea and Miwa is reluctant, but she still goes along. However she then apologizes to Tokyo students via Maki.  

Contrasting to Kyoto school, the Tokyo school is a bit departed from old jujutsu custom. Most of the students are not affiliated with jujutsu families. Maki and Megumi does have Zen’in blood, but the two of them hate the clan and everything it represents. We still have not much information on Toge and Inumaki clan in general. This also applies to students in previous generation too. Nanami, Haibara, Getou; the three of them are not from jujutsu families. Gojou is from one of the Osanke, but he loathes their custom and tradition, which might  be his main motivation to go to Tokyo school. Other than them, we still don’t know about Mei Mei, Shoko, and Utahime.

If I have to name one main characteristics that drive Tokyo school foundation is that they learn. Different from Kyoto whose philosophy influenced largely by traditional value set in stone, Tokyo school learns from mistake, learns how the era changes, learns how jujutsu changes so that they can be more humane, then develops to be an unique entity. This is largely due to Yaga’s influence.

But because of him (Itadori), there are certainly lives that was saved. In fact this time he cooperates with Todo to drive away the special-grade (curse spirit). This is not limited on the students, but after this they will accumulate a lot of regrets. Aah, I should have done that, I wanted it to be like this. Aah, I should have said it, I wanted to say it. 

Whether the decision regarding Itadori is correct, truthfully I don’t know. But for now, how about we watch over him?

Yaga Masamichi is one great educator. Rather than binding them to the existing tradition, he let the students have their own view and act responsibly. This is the wisdom that build the foundation and general philosophy of Tokyo school. And his view influence Gojo, who used to be his student, in teaching the new generation. For example this; when he asks of  Megumi’s opinion of what they should do with Yuuji. And because of it, they bends an existing law to let Yuuji alive; a very blatant opposition to old custom. 

In addition, Gojo rather tends and teaches the new generation despite wants to kill the upper management; this might also largely because of Yaga’s influence. The two of them accumulate the same regret from the incident that makes Getou to stray and learn from it -- and that regret is what shapes the learning and teaching in Tokyo school in the current time.

While the two seemingly cut from the same clothes, Tokyo school can afford to be different from their Kyoto counterpart in their teaching because of several things. First is their location. As the capital was moved from Kyoto to Tokyo, Tokyo’s population grows. More human means more negative emotion, meaning the curses also evolved to be stronger. The reason why Getou called Shinjuku the crucible of curses is because Shinjuku is red-light district, where negative emotion is probably the strongest, making curses found there also stronger than any other place. As their enemy grows stronger, jujutsushi themselves also needs to be stronger than them to be able to exorcise them. In addition, the school is where Master Tengen planted his root so to speak, and they also need the strength to protect him too. They can’t afford old tradition to weaken and hold them back, so the Tokyo jujutsushi’s thinking start to depart from old custom. The second reason is because of Gojo; that in itself is self-explanatory. 

All in all, education as a whole system is not only designed to merely giving knowledge, but also to give the young the necessities so they can develop into a proper member of society. Good education system adapts to the current era and relevant view on the development of society. In the real world, modern society aligns largely with science, so science and its philosophy are integrated as fundamental parts of modern education system. And character building is also important as part of the system -- for example being critical, to be curious and question things, is an important traits to have because human curiosity is what makes us study things we don’t understand and makes science develops in the first place -- subsequently modernize human society as a whole. 

But of course, it’s all not without repercussion. Since old tradition still prevails and holds tightly by the authority, it’s no wonder that Tokyo school is now facing difficulty after the chaos that is Shibuya. 

[thevibraniumveterans]

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

Are you sure about that, Loki? Are you extra, extra sure about that?

Because you:

1. Joined a task force to look for Sylvie (even though you didn’t know her then) and entered the same tent she had just disappeared from mere seconds before;

2. Thought that she was you (which later she would disagree with and say “if anything, you’re me” but anyway) and therefore pretty darn easy to locate;

3. Wouldn’t at first accept the fact that she was superior to you (well, y’all are equals, and maybe she’s better than you, but we’ll get to that later);

4. Theorized with your new friend Mobius that she was hiding in apocalypses by stealing his salad and then proceeding to absolutely destroy it doing so;

5. Visited freakin’ POMPEII to prove said theory and then actually proved your theory correct;

6. Used a candy from the future as a clue to find out where she might’ve taken her next steps, and cross referenced it with the many apocalypses she might’ve been in;

7. Actually found an apocalypse that she ends up being in (Alabama 2050);

8. Went to said apocalypse to look for her (you seem pretty invested in looking for her at this point);

9. Found her first enchantment victim who then passed the enchantment onto her second victim (B-15, looking at you), whom you still thought was you;

10. Found her third enchantment victim who told you not to call her a Loki (which she’ll do again, don’t worry);

11. Acknowledged through her fourth enchantment victim that she was different than you for the first time (“I would never treat me like this,” you said);

12. Followed her through a Time Door back to the TVA after meeting her for the first time;

13. Somehow allowed her to get the best of you even though you probably didn’t mean for that to happen;

14. Grabbed her stolen TemPad and landed the both of y’all in yet another apocalypse, the worst one yet actually, one that she’s probably been to before;

15. Tried to shield her from a falling meteor, to which she said she didn’t need your help (I mean, did you have a reason to save her then?);

16. Called her weird (I mean, that’s funny as hell, I gotta give you that);

17. Opened a door for her and let her enter the mining shack first before you did;

18. Literally let down your guard around her (yes, you’re tired from all that running, but still);

19. Somehow didn’t even stop her from putting both her hands on your neck in an attempt to enchant you (it looked romantic as hell, dude, and how were you not even opposed to her doing that, given both of y’all’s antagonism toward each other?);

20. Told her mockingly “In my heart” when she asked you where you hid her stolen TemPad (I mean, you could have said literally anything else but you went for “in my heart”, okay, I see where this is going);

21. Kind of agreed with her when she said you needed her to get out of Lamentis, “you need me” being the key phrase;

22. Asked her where she was going, and followed her;

23. Acknowledged that she’s not a Loki (yay!), or at least the fact that she doesn’t want to be referred to as one;

24. Followed her into an abandoned mining town where you thought you could fool a resident who chose to stay (you couldn’t);

25. Let her get away with teasing you about your failed efforts;

26. Playfully grabbed her by the shoulders from behind as you used your magic to conjure up a guard’s outfit for yourself (which you looked absolutely hilarious in, by the way, that helmet did not help one bit);

27. Sat down with her at a booth on the train, just the two of you (I’m not calling this anything else other than a date, at this point, to be honest);

28. Told her a wistful story about your mother and how she taught you magic and how she believed in you;

29. Showed her a miniature version of the fireworks you said your mother once conjured up for you, in an attempt to make her happy (I mean, those are beautiful fireworks, and she likes them too!);

30. Playfully conjured up a feather and quill to tease her about saying “Love is hate” (she finds you funny, she just doesn’t want to admit it);

31. Asked her whether she’s got anyone waiting for her when her mission’s complete (well, she did give a sarcastic answer but that’s not my point);

32. Admitted to her that you courted both princes and princesses in the past as part and parcel of being royalty;

33. Disagreed on love being mischief (what does that even mean?!) and then told her that you might need a bit more of champagne to really get that line of thought going;

34. Sang (I’m sorry, serenaded is a better word) her a song about a fair maiden waiting for her beloved to return home (you’ll find out how prophetic that would be in due time, don’t worry);

35. Decided that a dagger was your best metaphor for love (what, does being inebriated make you better at metaphors now?)

36. Let her get mad at you for getting drunk on the train (tbh, that’s kinda your fault, but there was literally nothing else to do, so) and breaking her TemPad (honestly, how do you even break a TemPad when it’s hidden in one of your magic pockets?! How?!);

37. Asked her if she felt better after that frustration-fueled scream (I mean, that’s kinda the first time you’re looking out for her, because that’s about to get real routine);

38. Went along with her after she sarcastically suggested that y’all both should try to get the Ark off the moon, fully knowing the impossibility of doing so;

39. Bantered teasingly with her about enchantment;

40. Believed her on a dime’s drop when she said that everyone who worked that the TVA were Variants, just like the two of you;

41. Let her grab your hand before the both of you ran around the back of the Ark’s docking station in order to find another boarding point;

42. Asked her if she was okay after the both of you got knocked back by an explosion (aww, you do care for her, how sweet!);

43. Finally called her by her name just before the Ark exploded;

44. Apologized to her for ruining her mission and dooming the both of y’all to die on an exploding moon;

45. Sat and listened to her explain her motives for her mission, before telling her that though people like the both of you may lose in sometimes painful ways, y’all always survive one way or another;

46. Freakin’ COMPLIMENTED her (that’s a first), and while the both of you sat waiting for the explosion to wipe the both of you off the map, you took her hand for the first time after she put her hand on your forearm (lovely, by the way);

47. Looked longingly and sadly at her when the both of y’all were hauled back to the TVA for interrogation and then subsequently separated;

48. Denied, when interrogated (is questioned a better word?) by Mobius, that you and her are partners (ha, you’ll soon be, in more ways than one, if you weren’t already), with a look on your face that absolutely betrays your true feelings for her;

49. Couldn’t even sell your lie about meeting her to Mobius that he had to lie right back to you;

50. Thought she was dead and felt so worried for her (you should’ve seen your face!);

51. Asked if she was alive and then SIGHED IN RELIEF when you were assured that she’s still alive (oh, have you got it bad for her, and you know it);

52. Denied that she’s your girlfriend the first time Mobius teases you with that word;

53. Spilled your emotions and your feelings for her on the table when you told Mobius about how much you believe her about everyone at the TVA being Variants;

54. Didn’t even deny it the second time he called her your girlfriend;

55. When asked by Mobius if you cared about Sylvie, you didn’t know if “care” was the right word;

56. Straight-up told him, “I believe her” with such emotional conviction it’s hard to see it as anything else;

57. Nodded your head at her when the both of y’all were reunited at the very same elevators you met in front of (how poetic) and she asked you if you’re okay;

58. Literally had her back when the both of y’all fought the guards in the Timekeepers’ chambers;

59. Got distracted when she got knocked down to the floor by Judge Renslayer;

60. Were on the brink of telling her how you feel about her, telling her that revealing your emotions was kind of a new experience;

61. Decided the best option was to place your hands just by her shoulders for whatever reason;

62. Let go of her so that she wasn’t pruned like you were;

63. Admitted in a roundabout way in just three words that she was your glorious purpose (priorities shifted, eh?)

64. Proudly proclaimed that her being terrifying was the very thing that made her so brilliant;

65. Literally puffed out your chest when you said, “she needs me” (she will, much later, don’t worry);

66. Revealed that she’s the only one you do trust (oh, the way your voice just softens when you speak about her…);

67. Planned an unwise sneak attack (that would’ve involved stabbing a cloud, I mean…) on freakin’ ALIOTH because you believed that doing so would bring you back to her when you really had no idea whether it would or would not;

68. Ran down the hill you were on to reunite with her (classic reunion move, pity you didn’t complete it by hugging her, but I guess you’re not there yet) when she arrived by car and asked her if she’s okay (looks like it’s becoming a habit);

69. Hilariously tried to unsuccessfully argue, through telling her that you’ve been in the Void longer than she has (maybe for like, an hour or two? IDK) that stabbing a cloud with a dagger was your best line of defense;

70. Sat next to her and had a conversation with her, during which you…;

71. Said it was cold (whether it was or wasn’t, isn’t important), so you…;

72. Conjured up a blanket for yourself before asking if she wanted one as well and proceeded to deny that your budding romantic connection with her was the both of y’all’s nexus event;

73. Followed that up with revealing that your nexus event with her felt great, it was a nice moment (aww);

74. Proceed to deny it as another TVA lie (you really need to work on talking about your feelings!);

75. Reassured her that you don’t know what the both of y’all are doing with regards to this relationship you both have with each other;

76. Playfully wrapped part of your blanket around her shoulders (double aww, that’s the classic “I’m gonna fake yawn and drop my arm around her shoulders, y’all think she’ll notice” kind of move, and yes, she did, and she likes it) and smiled giddily like the lovesick puppy you are;

77. Acknowledged in a roundabout (and maybe not so subtle) way that she loves you;

78. Pledged to not betray her, to not let her down, because you’re not that kind of person anymore;

79. Adorably nudged her when you asked her what her plans were when all was said and done;

80. Suggested that the both of y’all could figure things out… “together”, you said (triple aww!);

81. Handed the TemPad she gave you to Mobius and told her, “You go, I go” (I mean…);

82. Let her take your hand before you went to attempt to enchant ALIOTH;

83. Interlocked both of y’all’s fingers while y’all were at it;

84. Walked hand in hand to the Citadel at the End of Time;

85. Asked her if everything’s okay after she becomes nervous before entering the Citadel;

86. Got really unimpressed when that creepy ghost clock offered the both of you a chance to rule the TVA together;

87. Stated that “We write our own destiny now”, cementing the fact that you and her are an item;

88. Warned her to not listen to He Who Remains;

89. Tried to stop her by warning her about the possible consequences of her actions;

90. Suggested that the best plan of action was to take a minute to think of whether allowing a multiversal war was better than the alternative both of y’all never wanted (unfortunate as it was to be a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t situation);

91. Got upset when she told you she felt like you betrayed her (don’t worry, you didn’t);

92. Clashed blades with her even though you clearly didn’t want to;

93. Told her “No” when she suggested that you kill her and take a throne you never wanted;

94. Let her blade fall to your neck to get her to stop and consider;

95. Said to her that this feeling of revenge, bloodlust isn’t worth it because you’d once been in her shoes;

96. Told her that you didn’t want to hurt her (after acknowledging that she’s been hurt by the TVA for a lifetime) and that all you wanted was for her to be okay;

97. Shared a kiss with her.

98. Deepened that kiss (you know you did…);

99. Grieved the misfortune of not just losing her but also the outcome of recent events, knowing that what she had to do was her life’s mission that you’d previously supported her on;

100. Went up to a changed Mobius and told him by referring to her, “We made a terrible mistake. We freed the Timeline. We found him beyond the storm.”

And if that doesn’t say “she’s become my girlfriend and I’m damn proud of her”, I don’t know what does.

-

Go get her, Loki. Go get Sylvie back. We’re betting on it.

[peninkwrites]

hey, so as someone who is very normally obsessed by tddd and possibly inspired, how do you go about writing a longfic as opposed to oneshots? how do you keep the momentum? I really admire your work :)

Thank you sm!!!

This is a very good question lol. I've had to think about it for a bit. I've written quite a few long fics over the years– some of them actually taking years lmao– so I should probably have an answer! I love this stuff so if you ever have questions/wanna talk about fic stuff my ask box is always open!

(this is probably much more than what you were expecting so I did put a tl:dr at the end!)

This is both true for something that motivates me and a warning: The cheap and dirty answer is positive feedback. It is a nice thing and one I value Very Much but there's a difference between enjoying it and depending on it. It's not good to depend on the support of others to write. It will always eventually stop being enough. (this is also a reminder for myself tbh.) I've been trying to teach myself that people reading my work is more like a nice bonus/side effect of me writing rather than the goal of it.

But some actual practical advice from me–

Write what you'd want to read. If that means throwing away what you originally had planned or writing something you don't know if people will enjoy reading, so be it! Write what's fun. That is always the goal. Give Yourself brainrot ! Write what occupies your mind and let what you write make you happy! I like writing horror, I like building tension and seeing how I can make suspense or surprise, so I write that!

That advice might feel useless when even though you're really passionate about a project, in the long slog sometimes it's just hard. If you're having writer's block, feel unmotivated to work on this project anymore, take a break, try writing something else. If you still find yourself not wanting to work on this project, change it up. Even if you don't want to make any drastic changes, writing a chapter from another perspective, writing a oneshot off of the same fic, talk about it with someone else, making a web weaving, stuff like that can help get you a new direction.

I set a loose goal for myself to post a chapter once a month. It's not set in stone bc y'know life gets in the way, but just having a vague idea of "oh I last posted 3 weeks ago I should sit down and see where I left off" can get me moving again. This may sound odd but I advise against strict update schedules. Those tend to psych me out and make me procrastinate on what's supposed to be a fun hobby! And another thing on the 'technical' side of it, chapter lengths are a balancing act for me between two things: I aim for over 4000 words, but if that is stopping me from moving forward, I finish when I like where I've left off!

And as for keeping momentum, I tend to have a Goal for each chapter. It doesn't have to even be a plot related event, it could just be a bit of dialogue I want to get to or an emotion to be had. Sometimes it's just something I want to try writing, like a chapter psychological horror that can almost be treated as its own thing. My chapters are distinct sections with something I want to have happen, not stepping stones to the grand finale or whatever that may be. That's especially helpful if you usually write oneshots, treating a longer fic like a bunch of oneshots that are connected type deal. If each chapter has A Goal, you have something short term to aim for.

That goes for overall stuff too. For me at least, if I know where I want a fic to end up I refuse to quit until I get there. I've never given up on a work that I know how it's going to end. It's easier to write horror than recovery for me, but I know where I want that recovery to lead so having short-term and long-term goals makes that easier to work on. I rarely have a proper outline (actually probably never do tbh) but if I Know that all of this is leading to the happy ending, revelation, moment of hope, moment of horror, etc that I want to get to, that paired with having fun with where I am in the story, it's easier to power through.

I hope that was somewhat helpful? If you have specific stuff that this didn't answer feel free to send an ask about it and I'll see if I have any ideas!

TL:DR

-write for yourself/write what you want to read/what you have fun writing

-when you get stuck work on something else

-have a general schedule (I suggest not a strict one) of when you'd like to update

-have a specific goal for each chapter and the overall fic.

[linkspooky]

Mahito and Todo

Gionshōja no kane no koe, Shogyōmujō no hibiki ari. Sarasōju no hana no iro, Jōshahissui no kotowari wo arawasu. Ogoreru mono mo hisashikarazu, tada haru no yo no yume no gotoshi. Takeki mono mo tsui ni wa horobin(u), hitoeni kaze no mae no chiri ni onaji.

The sound of the Gion Shōja bells echoes the impermanence of all things; the color of the sāla flowers reveals the truth that the prosperous must decline. The proud do not endure, they are like a dream on a spring night; the mighty fall at last, they are as dust before the wind.

Todo is quoting the Tale of the Heike, one of the most famous stories in japanese literature.  The central theme of the story is the Buddhist law of impermanence, specifically in the form of the fleeting nature of fortune. It’s remarking on the transitory nature of life. In other words, nothing is permanent. 

However, Todo only quotes the first part of the text. However, we are the exception! Is something Todo added. Not only is he altering a classical text which has implications of arrogance in a cultural context, Todo is also turning the quote around entirely to say that even if everything in the world is fading, his friendship with Yuji will never fade. 

All of this to say, that Todo and Mahito’s philosophies towards life are complete opposites. Mahito represents the inevitability of decay, which is why his touch destroys whereas Todo insists he is stronger than that decay, then that inevitability, and arrogant enough to fight against it. More on their character foiling under the cut. 

1. Life Circles

The 4-character expression (yojijukugo) "the prosperous must decline" (盛者必衰, jōshahissui) is a phrase from the Humane King Sutra, in full "The prosperous inevitably decline, the full inevitably empty" (盛者必衰、実者必虚, jōsha hissui, jissha hikkyo).

Mahito as a character is someone very observant of natural law, and the nature of the world around him. His closest friends are all literally made to be embodiments of nature as cursed spirits. 

The budhist law of impernanence is another natural law, remarking that with time everything fades. Eventually everything in this world will die. LIfe is fleeting, etc. etc. Mahito as a character has a special understanding of both the composition of the soul and the body. He can see through it in a way that others can’t. 

However, his ability to see the soul causes him to dismiss it as nothing special. It is just another part of life. Mahito as a character observes and compeltely obeys both natural law and his nature. He is a curse. He’s there to curse people. He does that to his fullest ability. To  Mahito life circles around. It cycles. Everything living must inevitably die, and because of that there’s really no point in attaching meaning to something imperanent. 

Mahito just sees it as something that goes in circles. He doesn’t see the soul as anything special. Humans and curses both have souls, so they’re completely equal in his eyes. Human awareness, reason, logic, emotions, values, connections, doesn’t add anything to it, because Mahito can’t see them therefore it’s all made up. Mahito’s argument towards life then becomes very nihilistic. 

Everything is the same in his eyes. Mahito can twist a human form to a fat, bulbous monster, but he still sees it as a human because there’s a human soul dwelling inside of it. Mahito rejects the idea that any of these things, human reason, human emotions, give any sort of value to life. 

Mahito is inherently nihilistic, at least in the sense of moral nihilism. There is no meaning to life, therefore it gives me liscense to do whatever I want. He doesn’t have any respect for life in the slightest. Everything is fleeted to Mahito, so he’s completely without respect, and without sentiment, because to Mahito there is no point in getting invested in something that is inevitably going to die anyway. 

Mahito is the embodiment of the fear of other human beings. Therefore it only makes sense, that he denies connection. Humans have no connection to one another, and no conenction to the world around them, they’re just there. It’s inherently nihilistic statement, because he’s arguing basically there’s no meaning to existence. 

Jogo even calls Mahito the embodiment of death because he reflects that idea so well, that everything dies. Even Mahito’s own curse ability is the embodiment of his inability to connect, if he reaches out and touches someone he only harms them with just a single touch of his hand. Hands are pretty basic symbols of human connections. 

However, even though Mahito’s nihilistic he’s not indifferent. He outright hates, and torments other humans. He encourages Junpei to hate life, exactly like he does. 

2. We Exist

If Mahito is a character that hates life, antagonizes life, then Todo is the complete opposite of that. Todo is someone who represents love and connection. Hence why even down to his curse energy takes the form of little hearts. 

Every detail we know about Aoi, centers around this idea of love, and particularly this love of life. The hearts are a repeating motif with him, they even appear on his volume cover. We know he has a crush on an idol named Takada. 

The first question he always asks people when he meets them is what kind of girl do they like, (but even if it’s a guy who is only into other guys he finds that answer acceptable as well). 

He dismisses Megumi from the moment he meets him, but immediately falls head over heels for Yuji. However, look at the difference between Yuji and Megumi. Megumi is someone who feigns indifference, and pretends not to be invested in the life around him. He’s always repressing his emotions and pretending he’s not interested. Yuji on the other hand, loves life, loves other people, and will react to save people’s lives without even thinking. Megumi is principled, but Yuji is unprincipled and acts on a simple love for the people around him, so therefore it makes sense why he’s more Todo’s type. 

The only other person Todo seems to respect on the level of Yuji is Okkotsu Yuta, who also said this. Whose cursed technique was converting the girl he loved into a cursed spirit to remain with him after her death. 

If Mahito’s character is built around the hatred humans have for each other, Todo is built around love. Even if it’s kind of in a weird way sometimes. He asks people what kind of girls they love. He respects people who are open about what they love. This isn’t even the first time that Love and curses have been connected thematically to each other in the series. 

Love and curses are presented as a complementary pair. That is rather than being binary opposites ,like life and death, fire and whater, they’re like yin and yang. Two ideas that seem like opposites but go together. Love can be like a curse. You can curse someone you love. Etc. etc. 

Love and hate, is much like love and cursing, seem like they’re opposite ideas. They’re traditionally held to be opposites. Mahito even comments on this. There’s Junpei who is apathetic. Mahito says the true opposite of love is hate, and saying apathy is the opposite is just japanese wordplay. He then encourages Junpei to hate people, to curse them. Mahito is a cursed spirit, hating people, cursing people is in his nature. 

Junpei even said, the hatred that the bullies constantly lobbed against him, the fact that his mother was killed, it all felt like he was being cursed by everyone around him. Cursing people, hating people, are presented as the same thing to Mahito. 

Mahito’s philosophy is basically that there’s no particular meaning to existence, therefore it’s okay to hate life. 

Both Mahito and Todo have a special insight to how cursed energy flows around him. Todo as weird as he is, seems like the wisest of all the students especially in regards to curse energy. 

Todo has a similiar perspective of the world as Todo. He too says that life, that cursed energy flows through the world. However, rather than using that argument for nihilism, he uses it for existentialism. Mahito says we don’t exist that there’s nothing special for existence. Todo says we do exist. Therefore it’s okay to love life. 

While Mahito encourages Junpei to hate and spite others, Todo does the opposite of that, telling Todo to repress his hatred for now, because he has to think of the feelings and well being of the people he loves and is trying to protect first. 

Todo is someone who fights against the natural order of things, for the sake of the love he feels for other people. He even literally fights Hanami, who is an embodiment of nature. 

Hanami, the practice of watching the blooming sakura flowers is also a symbol of transience. Todo fights against this transience, and declares himself the exception. Mahito is natural order, Todo opposes natural order. Therefore in both love and hate, and also in philosophy they are complete opposites. Todo fights for what he loves, and Mahito fights for the sake of hating others. 

Even in thie cursed techniques they are opposites. They both use their hands. However, Boogie Woogie is a cursed technique ideally suited for cooperation. When he claps his hands together he switches places with anything. Todo is like, the one sorcerer in the series whose cursed technique is far better for team fights than it is solo fights.

Mahito calls for them to curse each other. 

Todo, blows a little kiss when he’s fighting against Mahito, another symbol of love. 

(Mahito’s Let’s curse each other, is also a callback to Geto’s let’s curse each other. Geto is someone who after all, hates humans as well, at least the ones who aren’t jujutsu sorcerers). 

When Mahito shows Yuji he is all alone by killing two of his allies Nobara and Nanami (Nobara is fine though), Todo shows Yuji that they are still all together because he is carrying the feelings of his allies with him. Something Mahito would insist means nothing. Something Todo says means everything. 

Lastly, when Mahito moves to finish off Todo he’s distracted for a moment by Todo’s little locket. The symbol of his love for both Yuji and Takada. 

Which buys Todo enough time to clap Mahito’s hand and used his cursed technique even after one of his own hands is completely blown off. Hands are the symbol of connection, Todo connects to others and Mahito doesn’t. 

What’s ultimately ironic is the memories Todo has are completely fake. They are made up. Just like Mahito says, there is no meaning to life, any kind of meaning we try to make is just made up. However, even though Todo’s friendship with Yuji is completely imaginary, he obviously values it. His fake friendship with Yuji trumps Mahito who really only values his own individuality, and only thinks about himself. 

Mahito says I am the only thing that’s real, therefore it’s only natural I only care about myself.

Todo says, my friendship is Yuji is real, and our feelings will far outlast both of us. 

[gojology]

Job Benefits. (Part 4)

❝...𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑵, 𝑺𝑷𝑰𝑻 𝑰𝑻 𝑶𝑼𝑻.❞

CONSPIRING. - Chapter Four

you can find part three here :

part three : routines

pairing : ceo! gojo x female reader warnings : cursing, no proof reading, no editing wordcount : 2494 a/n :  this is so bad, i... i am so sorry. in my defense i haven’t written in a while, but i hope u guys still like this regardless </3

     Almost immediately after stepping foot into the room, you’re greeted with a minimalist, yet clean looking interior. Large window panes with Tokyo’s beautiful sunlight filtering into the already lively room.     There’s a few co-workers you can see sitting by the vending machines on plush arm-rest chairs, the cushions colored a beautiful tan alongside oak wood arm rests and chair legs. Others are on their phone, texting and furiously tapping and a feeling of anxiety immediately eats you up whole. You were seriously starting to regret coming down here, what was the point other then to make Gojo jealous? You could’ve very well eaten in your office- and what you were doing was childish anyways.      You stood in the entrance way of the room, nervously fidgeting, eyes scanning for Keto Sugaeru amongst the faces that were starting to blend in. You can only vaguely remember how he looks like from the few visits he had made to Gojo’s office, jet black hair, usually tied in a bun, always a kind, yet careless smirk on his face. He was handsome, which would be a definitive beacon amongst the rather disgruntled looking office workers.     “Hey, are you gonna move or what? Blocking the damn way.”     You hear a gruff impatient voice behind you, and you twist around, stumbling with the newfound height of your high heels as you did so. A man’s eyes bored into your own, glaring at you with a mix of hatred and annoyance. You gulp, finding yourself unable to respond, instead averting your gaze to the floor meekly.    “You gonna talk? We don’t have all day, sheesh, they’re hiring anyone into the workforce nowadays huh-”      “I’m sorry- I uh, I’m r-really new here so...” modestly giving the man a kind smile, but he seemed to have no patience for you.     As if a divine being heard his rude comment and immediately swept down with some karma, a firm, large hand is placed onto the man’s shoulder that you hadn’t seen prior. It gripped the flesh tightly, and the mysterious man glared directly down at the now squeaking rude one.      “Did I hear that right?” is all he says, a few co-workers are twisting their heads towards the altercation, now you’re sweating bullets. You grip onto your lunch so tightly you’re afraid it might burst, and those incredibly long fingers of his are inching towards the stout man’s collar.     Eventually, the perplexing man smiles kindly, retracting his hands to his sides, now lifeless and slack. “Please, Nishima, refrain from picking on people. We don’t tolerate this in the office, and don’t be dumb enough to do it in front of someone who has direct connections to the Gojo family. Run along now, I’ll leave you off at a warning. You’re lucky I’m in a good mood.”     The man grumbled a few times, kicking at the floor before heading out, you turn your head to thank the man, looking at him with an admirable gaze, but you realize something-      He has the jet black long hair you were searching for before any of this happened, it’s tied up in a bun, and it looked ridiculously smooth and soft. Something you’d pay to drag your hands through and play with. He has that carefree grin displayed on his handsome features, shamelessly showing off his good looks. Tall, and he definitely had a familiar voice that took you a while to put a finger on it.     This had to be him.      “You frozen girlie? I haven’t seen you around in the lunch room- here go sit there, that seat’s super comfy.” he gestures to one chair, and you snap out of your trance, nodding in response, yet still unable to fully register what just happened to you.      “Sugaeru?” you blurt out, your eyes wide while stumbling like a just born fawn towards the spotless table. How good was your luck today? He came to you.      “Suguru.” he corrects, looking back at you, a teasing curve to his lips. “Holy, you completely butchered my name, I think I know you from somewhere-” for a second, he looks like he’s seriously thinking before he beams. “You’re Gojo’s secretary, Y/N, aren’t you? What brings you down here? Gojo told me that you’re usually reserved in your own little world and you do everything in your office.”      You stammer, still unable to believe your luck, but your shoulders are relaxing and the tension has completely evaporated into thin air. “Uh, yeah I’m Satoru’s secretary. I- Um, I wanted to... Get some water?” that was a horrible lie, even for you.      “Rookie mistake.” Suguru pulls out the aforementioned chair for you before walking to the other side of the table to place his lunch on the tabletop carefully. “Water here is super overpriced. You should bring some from your own house if that’s the case! Colleague to colleague, just don’t tell anyone I said that, or else I’ll get in trouble.” winking at you, he twists the lid to his container presumably holding his food, instantaneously a cloud of steam emerges and a delicious scent wafts through the room.     After a moment of silence between the two of you as you both opened your lunches, you clear your throat, meaning to make conversation. “Thank you for saving me back there.” sheepishly, you smile at him. “It’s really appreciated, I just couldn’t believe how rude a person could be, especially since u-uh... You know, he could’ve, like, just walked around me?” stuttering, you grab your utensils in an effort to look relaxed and comfortable, even though you had no idea how to speak to him.     “Atta girl, no problem.” he responds warmly. You feel safe in his shadow. “Hey, if your Gojo’s friend, you’re my friend. Don’t worry about it. I heard you’re new to the office.” he pauses, looking around the now bustling room before covering the sides of his mouth and whispering towards you. “Secretary position was open for a while because no sane person in Tokyo wants to be Gojo’s secretary.” sitting back down while snickering, he takes a bite out of his lunch.      Giggling, you finally ease up. As opposed to Gojo, Suguru’s more sincere and straight to the point. He’s funny in his own way without being obnoxious.      You scoff. “Yeah, I can see how anyone could go insane from working with the guy. It was the only good secretary position open, though...” you muse aloud.      Suguru crosses his arm over his chest, your eyes carefully surveying his attractive figure as he does so, a thoughtful smile on his face. “Well, imagine being friends with him for more than 15 years. I’m sure I’ve gotten a few screws loose.” he says suggestively, wriggling his eyebrows.      You cover your mouth, trying not to laugh- but it just spills out of your lips, and you forget that you just met the guy, that’s just how friendly he was. “Don’t say that!”      “What? It’s true!”     You didn’t quite know it just that, but a seed was planted that day- you and Geto’s relationship, and it would only blossom from there.  ‧₊˚✩彡.     Gojo’s paranoid.     It seems like there’s a secret that he’s not in on, he realizes that Geto’s visits to his office are growing more and more frequent, yet he spends less time at his office, rather, spends all of his time at yours. Feeling left out was never a positive emotion. In response, Gojo would increase his visiting between the two of you, “accidentally” walking in on the both of you casually chatting, but it’s like he’s a ghost in the room. He’d get a few lukewarm stares and a few polite greetings, but that was that.     He’s not sure if it’s jealousy, or what.      He knows he should be supportive of his best friend potentially getting a girlfriend, and he tries to be- but something about Geto and you together really pissed him off, he just doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s the way the pairing between you two seemed so natural, it would be almost sure that a relationship would occur soon that angered him. Having dating co-workers was almost never a good thing.      Deep down he knows that’s not it.      As the weeks past by, the visiting grew almost unbearable, hearing your laughter- your giggles- from jokes that weren’t from him was infuriating. Listening to the repetitive clicking of your heels down the stairs into the break room was driving him insane, and eventually he can’t even open an email or do anything involved with work. You and Geto were constantly on his mind, and he’s morbidly curious as to when the friendship occurred- or if it was possibly more than that.    His first attempt at getting to the bottom of things was bringing it up between the two of them, him and Geto, just as casual chit-chat, but it didn’t go exactly as planned.      Geto would have a sympathetic, almost mocking grin on his lips, but those eyes of his were telling enough. It was a whole other book of lust and need, for you. Brushing the topic off with a wave of dismissal, he’d chuckle and put a mask of friendliness on, but Gojo’s known Geto enough to see where this was going.      He couldn’t have this, everything was brought to him on a silver platter, so it was only natural for him to feel like he needs you, even if he didn’t. Perhaps you were another trophy to his endless collection to him, he just didn’t know. He’d never felt so strongly of a woman, much less his secretary, something was brewing inside of him.    One thing he doesn’t understand is why Geto. He’s flawless in appearance, restless, impossibly good at sex, why weren’t you stroking his ego? Whatever, this was another topic of conversation, what he needed to do now was win you back.     He calculated in his office the average time in which Geto would visit, music drowning out the muffled talking, and finally he’s ready and absolutely certain that this would be a good time to chat you up. Having everything planned out, an aura of confidence radiated from him.      “Y/N!” you hear a chirp from the door, lifting your head up in excitement, you realize it’s not your beloved Suguru, rather, it’s Gojo. Gluing your eyes back on your computer screen, not even bothering to peel them away, you clear your throat in acknowledgement. “Sir?”      A smug grin flickers across his face for just a second before he pulls out one of the chairs across from your desk, scooching it a bit further away for some extra leg room before promptly sitting down. “Knew you’d remember to call me sir, I knew I hired well when you stepped into the interview room, so sharp.”     You don’t detect a shred of sarcasm in his compliment, and finally you turn your gaze upon his face. This was certainly out of the ordinary for you, as he hadn’t visited as often with Geto in the picture now. Gojo’s not wearing the iconic black shades that concealed his cerulean eyes, now, they’re out for you- his private audience.     His eyes are brimming with energy and mischief, almost like a child’s. They’re transfixing, like diamonds handpicked and placed into his eyes. You’re overwhelmed from your work once again- a direct consequence of Gojo neglecting his own, yet something about this greeting reminded you of one of the first few times he had visited you, when he stole your carrot pen. Thus, causing you to direct your undivided attention towards him, he seemed promising, after all, what was the worst that could happen?     “That’s besides the point, Mr. Satoru. Is there any reason why you came here? I’m actually finishing up a report right now and the deadline is in two days.” taking your coffee mug up from it’s usual spot on the tabletop, you sigh in relief as the warm liquid goes down your throat and set it back down, anticipating his answer.     In usual fashion, Gojo chuckles good-heartedly. “It’s your fourth month anniversary you’ve been working here, or third, or second, fuck like I remember. This is a cause for celebration and you’re worrying about finishing up a report?”    “You’d know better then to come to me with an offer of slacking off if you knew my fourth month anniversary of working here was coming up.” you respond coolly.     His eyes slightly widen, before he lets out a dry chuckle. “Ah, I missed my sassy secretary, say, why don’t we celebrate? We can go out for a staff dinner in celebration. I’ll pay, no need to worry. It’ll be confidential information between the two of us.” tugging at his collar, he quirks an eyebrow, you’re visibly thinking.      “Does this imply you want this dinner to only be between the two of us? Why’s that?” you pry, a tinge of hesitance in your pitch.     Ah, shit. This was going off the tracks.     Gojo taking a hand to his chest defensively, he loudly announced, “It’s important to build a positive connection between the two of us! We’ll be working together for years to come, of course. So skeptical of you, why do you look so down?” the retort was cheeky, and good at that, as it left you speechless.     “I’m not sad, or anything-” you pause, your mind had gone blank. “I- Um... I-” attempting to return to your work instead, you give him a dirty look, but he stares back with such intensity you don’t know how to feel. “I’m doing work, don’t screw up my train of thought, please?”    “You definitely weren’t saying that when I offered to take you out to eat, come on, spit it out.” he tsks. Utterly defeated, you sigh.     “I wanted to invite someone.” you spit out, obviously embarrassed.     Gojo pretends to act shocked, before excitedly inquiring, “And who might that be?”     “G-Geto.” there was no point in lying now.    He oohs, looking down at your shaking hands and back up at your face. “Ooooh, Y/N has a crush on my best bud? Who woulda thought!?”    Your cheeks going warm, you shake your head furiously. “No I don’t! I- Mr. S- Sir! This is so unprofessional of you!” stuttering, you drop your head on the desk, arms pillowing the sides of your head and groaning.     “How cute. Anyways, you accept that dinner date?”     You lift your head back up, sniffling. “It’s not a date!”    Giving you a shit-eating grin again, his eyes twinkle. “Oh, but it is.”    “I- Aghhhhh!” putting your head back down on the desk, this time without your arms, you don’t know how to respond, so instead you make a mockery of yourself.    Laughing, Gojo decides not to tease and you and instead says, “Meet me in Shibuya district, there’s a super nice restaurant, I’ll drive to your house, no need to worry about transportation. 9 PM, see you there!” his voice grew more distant down the hallway, you can still hear the clicking of his shoes and his deep humming.     So you had a date tonight,     Now how would that go?

[dutchdread]

women, but since Aerith died, Tifa is naturally the one he ended up with since he didn't have a choice. I honestly hate this stupid take, because even if Aerith lived, I still believe Cloti would be canon. But I couldn't really answer my friend, because I don't really know how Cloud feels about Aerith other than she's a precious comrade and he felt a lot of guilt. He loves her like all his friends but beyond that, idk. Maybe you have a better answer for her? Thanks!

I am not sure what the rest of your question was so I am gonna assume you had a friend who believes Cloud loves both women, but ended up with Tifa purely because Aerith died? As for an answer, you kinda gave it yourself. "I don't really know how Cloud feels about Aerith other than she's a precious comrade", that's correct, and why is that all you know? Because that's all that's ever been stated about it, which in itself says enough. How could I prove that Cloud doesn't love Aerith? You can't prove a negative. All I can say is that Cloud has never been stated to love Aerith in over 20 years, and that in itself says enough. Love isn't the default position until proven otherwise, until some evidence is forthcoming that Cloud loved Aerith, saying he does is no more reasonable than saying he loves Yuffie. That should be that, but since I know it isn't to some people, I'll give you an answer than might be more satisfying. There are, in broad terms, two ways of thinking about this. One is in terms of realism, the other is in terms of storytelling. You could argue that in real life, its' HIGHLY unlikely that Cloud would love Aerith, and you could argue that from a storytelling perspective its highly unlikely that Cloud loves Aerith. Realistically speaking, Tifa has been portrayed as being a girl Cloud has been in love with his entire life, someone who wanted to be with so badly that his desire for her to notice him defined his life. The idea that this man would, after spending a week together with said girl, and another girl, while he's both braindamaged and canonically unaware of either girls affections for him, suddenly be as interested in the new girl as in the girl he's longed for his entire life....is ludicrous. Add to that that both Cloud and Aerith are putting on an act during their time together, that Aerith dies before Cloud ever regains his normal persona, and that Cloud regains his normal persona through his shared history and feelings with Tifa, and the idea that Aerith somehow measures up in terms of romantic affections becomes downright insulting. When you are THAT into someone, you don't just suddenly snap out of it, love takes time, that's what makes it love as opposed to a crush, infatuation, or obsession. I would argue that the fact that it's ridiculous in real life also indicates it would be bad storytelling if it is nevertheless true in the story. But that's not what I will argue here. What I will argue is that Aerith loving Cloud makes no narrative sense, since nothing in the narrative relies on Cloud loving Aerith, which is why there is nothing confirming that he does, because the plot works perfectly well without it. If Cloud loved Aerith, it would have the plot relevance of a random bit of trivia; "did you know: in FFVII, Cloud actually had a crush on Aerith". If Cloud loved Aerith, then why isn't this reflected in the plot? And if it's not necessary for the plot, then why would it be there? Aerith having feelings for Cloud is important to the plot, because it directly ties into her backstory with Zack and the emotional struggles she's going through with seeing Zack again in Cloud. But for Cloud, whether he had a crush on Aerith is completely irrelevant to the actual events taking place.

In light of that, why would it be a part of the game if Clouds romantic connection with another woman IS a crucial aspect of the plot? There are a few answers, but all of them come down to the same thing, which is that it helps the story to make it look like there is a love-triangle, while there actually isn't. At the very best, adding in romantic feelings muddies the clarity of the story being told, which is something we're already witnessing, where people who are hellbent on thinking Cloud loves Aerith are completely misreading the themes and arcs of FFVII and advent children. That happens because adding in romantic connections also adds in motivations to our characters actions. Cleriths inherently know that IF Cloud loves Aerith, then that should matter in some way, so they have to take the events as they are, and assume it's because of romantic feelings, which then poisons the actual story being told. To add to that, it's not just that Cloud loving Aerith has no bearing on the story, it's even arguable that Cloud NOT loving Aerith is more relevant to the events taking place than the other way around. Both for Aeriths personal journey concerning Zack, as well as Clouds fake persona character arc. The story sets up the idea of there being a "true Cloud", one that is a true reflection of his character. And the story presents this concept of Clouds true self in relation to Tifa. It makes no sense to go "yes, while having a fake persona, we had Cloud waver, and now that he's discovered his true self alongside Tifa....he still wavers". Narratively, it makes sense that the fact that Clouds quest for his true self revolves around his feelings for Tifa, ties into the fact that his true selfs feelings revolve around Tifa. Because that's how storytelling works, scenes tie into eachother. Long story short, the reason Cloud loves Tifa, and not Aerith, is because in the story of FFVII, the feelings Cloud needs to have for Tifa in order to make the plot work, are romantic, while the feeling he needs to have in relation to Aerith, is guilt. Those are the prime emotions FFVIIs plot depends on. If you want to explain the plot of FFVII in the shortest "big picture" way you can think off, you have to mention Cloud loving Tifa when explaining that arc, you don't need the same for Aerith, you need to mention him feeling guilt, and even that arc, ultimately, traces its roots back to Clouds romantic interest in Tifa. Thanks for the question.

[bleufrost]

Guiding Light

Summary: Even though your team finally trusts Loki enough to give him a chance, you still have to help him realize he's not the monster he sometimes thinks he is.

a/n: this is within the same universe as There's Just Time but it can also be read as a standalone (: more notes at the end for anyone who wants to read them!

Words: 1,921

Warnings: angst, self doubt, theres also fluff so dont worry!

If we come back and we're broken Unworthy and ashamed Give us something to believe in And you know we'll go your way

You never really realize how loud everything is until Loki cuts you off from his energy. Now, that isn't to say that Loki leads a tranquil existence, it's actually quite the opposite. Loki's emotions are incredibly sporadic and loud; so loud in fact, that they have become nearly identical in nature to the crashing of waves against the shore. Deafening, yet with the promise of calm once you come to recognize it as home. Without the roar, everything you’d rather drown out comes back to the forefront of your mind. That is exactly what is happening right now.

Tony’s bubbling anxiety to get his hands on something new clashes with the forced control of Bruce’s psyche as you enter the lab. The opposing energies nearly incapacitate you. “Hey, have you guys seen Loki?” You sit next to Bruce, your focus on his hands as he moves some things around on a screen. It’s a lame attempt to center yourself, but it helps a bit when a drill sparks to life in Tony’s hands. Bruce smiles at you apologetically and you shake your head.

“What’s that, kiddo?” Tony’s voice barely registers over the monotonous sound of the drill and you try to signal for him to turn it off, but the attempt is in vain. Instead of continuing to scream, you wait it out until Tony finally seems to be finishing up. The drill powers down and he smiles at you in that way that only he can; as though he truly believes that the world can wait for him. You can’t exactly blame him, you did wait, didn’t you?

“Okay, what’s up?” He places the drill down and brushes his hands off on his pants.

“I was just wondering if you’ve seen Loki around?” He looks to Bruce and they both seem to mutually agree that they haven’t. Tony shrugs at you.

“Sorry, kid. No Reindeer Games around here.” You roll your eyes at the nickname and he lets out a loud laugh. “Okay, thanks.” Getting up, you exit the lab and head for the common room.

It takes a few more tries, and by the time someone finally tells you they spotted him, your head is racing. There are so many different emotions and waves of energy in so limited a space, it exhausts you. Often you found navigating it all to be a fun game, but that was only when you had an anchor. Unfortunately, your anchor seems to be a little lost at sea.

When you do find Loki, he’s staring out a large window on one of the top floors of the compound. There’s a book abandoned in his lap, his finger resting on the page as though he had drifted mid sentence. The bright sky reflects on his eyes in a beautiful show of light. Anchors and waves, you knew Loki was all of it to you.

“Hey.” It comes out as only a whisper as you approach him slowly. It’s so soft, you almost doubt he hears it at all. Of course, he does though. He’s a god and, with great pain, you also know that he’s very used to being on his guard.

Loki’s eyes move from the clouds above and over to you. You’re not sure if the lights are playing tricks on you, but you swear that there are small hints of unshed tears in his crystal eyes.

“Hello.” If you thought your voice was soft, Loki’s is hardly there at all. It shakes ever so slightly at the end of the word, and if his shielding emotions wasn’t a dead giveaway, his demeanor most definitely is. Something’s wrong.

Your feet take slow, tentative steps forward. Neither one of you breaks eye contact, and when you attempt to push your energy over to him as some form of comfort, it hits a wall. He’s using his own magic to deliberately block yours from reaching him. Your feet stop moving and you can see in the way that his eyes glint that he’s aware of how distanced he is keeping you.

“Loki, what’s hurting you?” It’s a simple question, but that’s all it takes. After over a thousand years spent dancing around problems and masking insecurities, your willingness to openly address such intimate pains was still so novel to him.

The first few times he had spoken to you, really spoken to you, all illusions set aside and with no intent to trick you, he had been struck hard by your lack of judgement. All Loki ever knew was how to hide the most vulnerable parts of himself because others would use them against him. WIth you though, the vulnerability was exclusively used as a bridge to growth. You had told him once that energy flowed toward energy. It was made to grow. Naturally, because he was composed of all different kinds of untamable energy, it was only inevitable that he would continue to evolve into a stronger version of himself if he chose to recognize the points that were draining him.

Energy moves toward energy, and so he allowed his to move to you.

“I don’t feel I belong here. I’m not worthy of forgiveness.” The confession twists your heart into a knot. It hurts to hear the insecurity lacing his voice, but the emotions that seep into you hurt even more. With his wall down, you can feel the nervousness, fear, anxiety, and overall sense of loathing that Loki has been carrying by himself. You understand why he blocked himself from you, but you’re so incredibly relieved to be sharing his burden.

It takes a second for you to acclimate to the new feeling, but your feet take you the rest of the way to him as soon as you do. You’d never run from him, no matter how intense it may be to stay.

“No, no. Even just your ability to share that with me proves that you’re more than worthy, Loki.” The unshed tears come to the surface, slipping past his eyes and running slowly down his cheek. Your hand instinctively comes up to rest against his face.

“There’s not one of us here who hasn’t done things that we regret. Things that have hurt people and that we wish we could take back, but we can’t.”

More tears fall from his eyes and he looks at you so lost and frightened that you fear your heart may break.

“How do you live with it?” His eyes search yours for answers, and you wish you could tell him something that could help right now. Unfortunately, all experience you have with this calls for an agonizing amount of time to pass before even a hint of relief begins to seep in. There’s so much to do before forgiveness can come; not from others, but from yourself. It does come, though.

An idea sparks to life then, as you recall everything you’d done to make amends for the lives you had damaged, Forgiveness, understanding, healing. You knew these feelings and, luckily, that was all you needed.

Your other hand raises slowly, a soft blue light wrapping around the edges of each finger as it hugs around your skin. You hold your hand out to Loki, knowing that he needs to be the one to initiate this. You can offer yourself, but he has to choose to accept.

His large hand comes up, nearly meeting yours before he stops mere centimeters away. He can feel a slight wave of the emotions that you hold in your hand, but that same fear of being unworthy holds him back. Does he even deserve this kindness that you show him? You know he deserves that and so much more, but the doubt still makes him struggle.

The back and forth pull is not lost on you. Your thumb strokes the sharp curve of his cheekbone, finding your own comfort in providing it to him. His eyes close at the motion, and when he opens them again, the fear is gone.

Loki slips his hand into yours, finding the empty spaces between your fingers to be a perfect fit for him. He clings to you like a lifeline, and you very well may be one to him. You know he is for you.

Your light engulfs him, flowing up his arm and straight into his chest, his mind, his heart. Anywhere he needs it, your light will find him and help him feel okay. Every memory you had, every emotion, and every tear was placed into that light. Relief. Forgiveness. For Loki, it was hope.

“You do whatever you can to make up for it. You can’t fix everything, but sometimes just trying is enough.” Loki takes in your words and continues to let your energy hug him like a warm blanket. Trying. He could do that.

When he’s ready, he lets your magic go. Immediately, some of the doubt returns, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. Not when you’re here.

“Thank you.” The air around you seems to spark to life and you find your energy starts to pull toward Loki. It was odd; unlike anything you’d felt before.

Of course, there were certain people that naturally caused your powers to want to be near them. Their energies were calming enough or provided with just the right amount of curiosity that stoked the childlike wonder in yourself. You always knew exactly why you were being drawn to them. This time, with Loki, it was different. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion of yearning that drew you to him. All you knew was that you felt connected.

Deciding that this moment held enough excitement for the two of you, you left it alone. Maybe you could ask about it some other time when things were a bit calmer. Right now, you just wanted Loki to relax. There were many things about your abilities that you were still yet to explore. This was probably nothing.

Loki’s hand guided you out of your thoughts and back to him. He brought you closer and smiled. “Sit with me?”

You immediately reciprocated his smile. Loki may think that his well crafted charm is the most endearing thing about him. You know that’s not true. By far the most compelling and radiant thing about Loki was the unfiltered appreciation he had for the smallest things in life. Sitting beneath a blue sky sounded like heaven when he offered it up with such a gorgeous smile.

“Of course.” You let go of his hand to lift yourself onto the cushioned bench he was sitting on. It’s long enough to provide you with enough room to place distance between yourself and Loki, but you don’t. When you’re settled, Loki finds your hand once more. He squeezes it gently and lifts the book with his other.

“Would you like me to read to you?” He raises the book a little higher so you can see the cover, but quite honestly you don’t care what he’s reading. You just like to hear his voice. You nod happily. “Yes, please.”

Loki offers you one more genuine grin and sets to work, reading the words on the page like a poet sharing their most prized work. You can feel him, deafening the world around you until you’re lulled back into a calm that only his noise can guide you to.

As he reads, your connected hands glow with an energy that neither of you intentionally brings forth; it just happens. Even without trying, some things just do.

a/n: I realized that I was making little references to moments/memories in the main story that I really wanted to write, so thats what these mini pieces will be! on that note, the second chapter should be up by saturday at the latest. i had some computer problems which sucks lol, but its getting done! after that, i'll be trying to get the new chapters up before the premiere of the next loki episode. have a lovely day yall!