#The planning process is so much more complicated than I had thought it'd be and while I don't regret it...

[the-paranomaly-hotline]

Woah, an update!!!

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY FRIENDS!!!! If you've stuck around this long, I thank you. Whether you're here because you're one of my friends and support me even when you may not be super interested in my work, or someone who stumbled across this project by chance, I am glad you're all here.

As you can tell, the once per month thing almost immediately fell apart. I've had little motivation to truly sit down and write story for this, but I haven't left it rotting! In fact, I've made many new additions behind the scenes, most unknown and with some even secret to my friends! I also have acquired a secondary writer on this so to speak, although they're more just for their character and stuff. I think I may still end up being the main writer in this.

Rest assured, I plan to continue the actual story line! I've just been focused on making the sillier and non-story relevant as I figure out how exactly this will all go down. I may run the concepts by my co-writer, see how it goes, but I am unfortunately still working around what I can do while keeping sane from my studies.

I also may want to mess around with the exact title, but I fear I did misspell the company name, which is supposed to be "The Paranomaly Hotline", my bad!

I also am cancelling my plans to post it to Webtoon. I may just keep it to tumblr and maybe make a Youtube channel to voice act it? Needs more thought.

I'll be honest, I'm unsure how well I can continue the Paranomaly Hotline as a story, but I know one thing, it will be made into something! I'm very happy you all have came along for this journey, and it is absolutely not over yet! No matter what it becomes, I'm glad some people on the internet have enjoyed it and want to see it brought to life.

Thank you, and we'll call in soon.

Small thing!

So, I do plan to post this story to Webtoon when I atleast have 10 or so chapters done. I just wanted to say, despite the name of the blog (also how I titled the introduction) the actual story name is still "Paranormal Callings (And How We Got You Out)" like the tag says!

Probably will just call it "The Paranominally Hotline" when I talk about it on tumblr or could just be a second name. I just was thinking about it so yeah.

OH ALSO FOR POSTING IT! I’m gonna try to do a chapter a month (the written ones I can do in a sitting, it's the drawn ones that take time), but I'm the only one working on this project (by choice) so do not expect this to remain as a for sure thing.

This is all for fun in the end, and I thank any who end up following this and/or enjoying it!

[qnbofficial]

biomechanical study

The initial reason why Quackity had any interest in biomechanics was because he was fascinated by the way natural processes could be augmented and improved by technology. How he could bring order to the chaos of nature's design. Techno's chest just made him want to chase that admiration even more.

words: ~2k tags: cyberpunk au, pining ao3 link

He just couldn't figure it out. It should work, he'd double and triple checked that the components were undamaged. He'd taken the engine apart and painstakingly reconstructed it just to make sure. All he had to show for his effort were oil covered hands and an engine that still didn't run.

Frustrated, Quackity backs away from the table. He wasn't getting anywhere with this project. He never thought it'd be easy, but making an engine small enough to fit on his back and powerful enough to let him fly was much harder than he thought it'd be. He didn't have much experience working with vehicles, so maybe that was why. He understood the mechanics of the individual parts, but figuring out the logistics of it was beyond him. If only he had a reference...

Quackity shakes his head and stands, feeling the soreness of his body for the first time in hours. He'd been working for a while, as he tends to do, but it probably hadn't been that long. Maybe a meal and quick nap would help. His permanent freeloader probably has had dinner by now, he could eat whatever was left over.

With a plan set in mind, Quackity finally leaves his workshop. It's only once he enters a room that actually has windows that he realizes just how long he was in there for, the rays of the rising sun shine clearly through the blinds. It's already morning. The workshop has no windows to keep his work from prying eyes, so he'd never noticed.

"Well fuck," Quackity mutters aloud to himself. No wonder he felt so worn out, he'd worked through the night without eating or drinking anything. The worst part is it's not even the first time. It's easy for him to forget, considering that it was almost a complete afterthought. He needed it to keep his body moving, it wasn't any more complicated than that. That being said, he'd have to take a longer break away from his project just to deal with his biological needs.

Quackity sulks his way up the stairs, unhappy with himself and the passage of time. He had an important prosthetic maintenance appointment scheduled that day as well. The idea of cancelling briefly crossed his mind, but that'd be a paying customer lost for no real reason. It wasn't as if he was flush with cash either.

As if to taunt him further, when he goes into his kitchen, there are no leftovers for him to scrounge. Techno wasn't asleep on his couch, so maybe he had left while Quackity was occupied. He was always coming and going as he pleased like he paid rent, eating Quackity's food and using his bathroom. The very least he could do is be a reliable source of fuel, but seemingly even that was out of reach today.

Now at a loss, Quackity turns to his fridge for answers. He hadn't gone shopping in... A while, but surely there was something he could eat in there still. Unfortunately once he opens it, all that's displayed to him is a few miscellaneous things. Milk, butter, mayo, and cheese. The freezer only yields old, grey-ish green frozen meat and ice. He can only marvel in wonder at the disappearance of the food he knows he bought only a couple weeks ago. Techno had to have eaten it, but how could he eat two or three months of food all on his own when he leaves a plate of leftovers behind every time he cooks? Why the fuck did he leave nearly exclusively dairy products behind?

He only spends a few moments considering the presence of dairy products in his nearly empty fridge before he's interrupted by a voice carrying into the kitchen. "I heard you stompin' your way up the stairs Q. Better not break 'em again," he yawns as he says it, walking into the entryway of the kitchen.

"Don't act like you give a shit when you won't even chip in to fix it," Quackity gripes, pulling the milk out of the fridge. It probably has enough calories to keep him going.

"Don't drink that, it's spoiled."

Sure enough, when Quackity looks again, the "Best by" date was a week ago. Needing to save face, Quackity sputters out "I wasn't going to drink it, I'm throwing it away like you should've done when you noticed it'd gone bad!" he quickly pours whats left of the spoiled milk down the sink and throws away the carton. Unfortunately for him, that draws his vision away from the fridge towards Techno.

He realizes three things simultaneously. Techno was shirtless. Even though he went without a shirt frighteningly often, Quackity was always blindsided by it while doing his usual routine. This time was no different. Like always, he found it extremely difficult to tear his focus away from the horrible, distracting sight. Second, Techno has clearly just woken up, but he wasn't on the couch.

"Not my job to clean your fridge. Try looking at what you're eating first, dumbass." Techno yawns again, walking over to him. "I couldn't even make any dinner because there's nothin' here t'eat. All that stuff is expired." He leans on the counter next to Quackity, leveling him with a slightly annoyed look.

Not that Quackity is looking at his face. His camera's field of view is large enough for him to see the entirety of his body, but he's focused in on Techno's chest. There was just... something about it that always made it impossible for him to focus on anything else. He'd been working as a mercenary or something close since they were kids, and his body certainly reflected it. Quackity wouldn't hesitate to say he was in peak condition, possibly the ultimate manifestation of the male physique.

The initial reason why Quackity had any interest in biomechanics was because he was fascinated by the way natural processes could be augmented and improved by technology. How he could bring order to the chaos of nature's design. Techno's chest just made him want to chase that admiration even more. He wanted to study him, to measure every part of him and make sure he understood exactly how every muscle flexed and moved until he could replicate it in his sleep.

"Sorry I didn't consider the needs of my freeloader instead of focusing on my shop," he says instead of any of those thoughts. Techno scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Alright. I guess we'll both starve then, since last time I checked, ya can't drink lubricant. I'm gettin' in the shower." Techno walks off, turning away from him. Quackity kicks himself for the slight disappointment that shoots through him. He can worry about the food later, if they don't have any there's nothing he can do about it now. It's too early for anywhere to even be open. He should probably just go to bed.

He's ready to just plop into his bed and pass out, but something gives him pause. There's stuff on the floor of his room that wasn't there before. He picks it up, realizing quickly that it's Techno's clothes. His shirt, pants, jacket, and socks, even his holsters are strewn about his floor. He's seen this before. Techno usually does this when he gets ready for bed, it's not like Quackity has anywhere for him to put his clothes. But there's only one thing this could mean.

Quackity looks at his bed. It's in complete disarray, pillows and blankets scattered like someone had been tossing and turning in it for hours. Techno had been in his bed. It was undeniable. He'd been sleeping in Quackity's bed, not on the couch like he did usually. Why? He could hardly even process it. He can feel the sensation picking at him, the temperature monitor he'd hooked up to help prevent catastrophic overheating. It barely processes under the confusion befalling Quackity as he stares at his bed.

Techno, sleeping in his bed. Techno, pressing his face against his pillows, his body against his sheets, sleeping. Laying in the same spot Quackity's been sleeping peacefully for years, like he just belonged there. He can hear his coolant starting to bubble in his head, and that's what finally gets him to do anything but stand still.

"T-Techno, I'm overheating, I'm-- !" he tries to shout so Techno can hear him. His camera is usually the first thing to go on the fritz when he starts malfunctioning, and this time is no different. His vision flickers and warps a bit, and he curses, shaking his head to try and get more airflow through. It doesn't help much.

"Oh shit," he hears Techno exclaim from the shower, "I'm comin' one sec!" Quackity can hear the water shut off, the curtain pull open. This is embarrassing every time, but he feels so especially now. It only makes it worse, the agitation from the alarm pushing him to rush over to his kitchen. He opens his freezer, pushes the random items in it aside to make a space and promptly shoves his head in.

This time it does actually help some, and Quackity relaxes a little as the agitation reduces. He still feels lightheaded, but the slight clarity is nice.

"Okay I'm here, where's the coolant?" Techno rushes into the kitchen, Quackity doesn't look up to see him. He can't handle it right now.

"Downstairs, in the workshop." Even his voicebox is failing, apparently. His voice is pitchy, static filtering over his words. He hears the padding of Techno's feet, then the stairs creaking. This has been happening more often lately, always because of that freeloader hanging around. He doesn't have the time, parts, or death wish required to try upgrading the cooling system in his head. It was a miracle he got it working at all. The only solution was to get rid of the cause.

Techno comes back with a bucket and the jug of coolant and puts them both on the counter. Quackity shakily steps back from the freezer, going over to the bucket. He opens the valve on the side of his head and lets the old coolant drain out.

"Any clue as to what caused it this time?" Quackity's camera focuses in on him. Techno's hair is still wet from the shower, clinging to his skin along with droplets of water traveling down his--

"No," Quackity lies, keeping it simple. He can hear the final drips of the old coolant leaking out of his head and closes the valve. Techno picks up the jug of coolant and starts pouring it in the intake valve on the top of Quackity's head. The movement puts his chest right in front of Quackity's camera.

"Right. Well, next time, can you at least try and avoid whatever it is that's causing it until I'm out of the shower?" It only takes a couple seconds of careful pouring to refresh his cooling system, and he can hear the quiet whirring to life of the pump. Just in time for him to take detailed, delicate notes on the goosebumps that raise on the swell of Techno's chest.

"I'll do my best."

"I can literally feel the heat risin' off your screen."

[nihilnovisubsole]

Gimme 18 and if it’s not an old man I’ll even applaud

hello!! sorry i'm a day or two late on this. it's hard to post at the same velocity when you're doing it on your breaks.

18. the character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

i've got some half-finished original short stories that are like getting blood from a stone, but they're difficult because of research and plot, not character. no, i got into a whole other character predicament this year. one that probably involved biting off more than i could chew.

i find the prevailing style in shipfic is to spend the majority of time with the main pair, and other characters take much more minor supporting roles. i heard it a long time ago, actually: somebody i knew told me that my laser focus on writing only my pairings was holding my character voice skills back. i wouldn't go that far. i think it's a common mode in romance because the development of the main relationship is what the story is about. that's just logic. i imagine that logic goes double for stories where the writer explores the physical side of the relationship. i mean, we joke about PWP, but i'd wager most erotica readers aren't showing up for debates about tea forks first, if you get my drift.

when i drafted ideas for ffxiv stories over the past few months, i thought, "hey, this isn't for money or a deadline. i can afford to experiment." i knew i couldn't resist writing about royce and raubahn eventually, but i wanted platonic stories that highlighted her with other characters as well. it wasn't some kind of snobbish "gen fic over shipfic" deal. i just thought it'd be a fun challenge to make stuff Like It Is In The Game. the main story is about all kinds of different interpersonal bonds, and it's such a huge cast, i felt like i'd be leaving a lot on the table.

there's one complication to that. when you plan for an ensemble cast, you have to learn a deluge of new character voices all at once. urianger's pretty straightforward if you've taken a shakespeare class, but where are you putting y'shtola on her spectrum of sarcasm and bookishness? how is your dialogue walking the precarious tightrope of antiquated and modern that ffxiv's localization falls into? not to sound corporate or anything, but there's an onboarding process! it sure was easier when you only had to worry about getting the love interest right.

"so, ak, are you actually going to follow through with that challenge? are you going to finish any of those WIP stories and post them?" uhhh... we'll see!!

[inkywyrm]

FreeCAD Basics (Entry 7)

At first I had tried following the second, more mathematical method. This, unfortunately didn't go as planned and it made things way more complicated funnily enough. I thought it'd be easier 'cause math = formulas/equations = quicker geometry results, in my head. This was the opposite and a friend suggested that I just go ahead and follow the first tutorial instead. I had a way smoother experience with that and I was able to complete the tutorial in an hour or less. The most confusing part might have been creating the rectangular shaped hole in the center of the object, and I am a bit confused as to why we had to make the one on the front instead of just immediately going to the back. Regardless, I completed the tutorial without much fuss. For my second object, I am not too proud of it. it is crude and I tried measuring the sides and underside of my desk to get accurate measurements for a sort of "hook"-like object. I honestly do not think it would work that well if implemented.

I'm not entirely sure how to make concretely connecting objects. I wanted to do something kind of like legos. I made sure that the holes were the tiniest bit larger on the secondary cube than the padded pegs on the first cube. The thought process was that if these two were put together, the measurements might be just tight enough to allow them to fit together snugly. Again, not sure if it'd work in practice but that was the working theory my mind went with.

I did not enjoy FreeCAD that sucked so hard I considered doing my projects in Blender instead LOL

[herrscherofmagic]

Thank you for your reply!

I'll admit that none of this is particularly new advice to me, but it still helps to hear it from someone else. I've also had a bit of time to distract myself and clear my head from earlier, so that helped a bit too.

Part of the problem is that I hold my self to a downright comically absurd standard, in both art and writing, to the point that it's taken me years to get to where I am w/ art where I can draw more freely and casually without obsessing over quality. It's a side-effect of a lifetime of programming— perfectionism is great in standardized testing education, not so much in the rest of life, lol

That being said, what you've shared with me has also made me realize that it might help to do some actual proper outlining to begin with. I think that's probably the best next step for me to take, since it's fairly low-stakes stuff and would help me sort out my thoughts a bit more.

The trouble I have is that I have a series of ideas that are inherently complicated, so it'd be difficult to distill the entire story down into a small package. But there's something else I can do instead, which is to simply write a small portion of that larger story and then use that as a stepping-stone into a bigger work.

Which, ironically, I've already done both with a couple of fics I already published on AO3, and with one that's WIP right now. New Moon and A Home Lost, A Home Found are both short one-shots that were easy to write, but essentially serve as a sort of "preview" of a larger story idea. The former could literally be a chapter within the larger story I have planned, and the latter is more like a poetic retelling of a story idea- rather than being an actual chapter.

Neither is quite at the level of quality I'd want for their respective planned stories, but they didn't have to be at a "high quality" within the context of some bigger story– they stood well on their own!

When it comes to art it's often easier for me to wrap my head around what I need to do for a large part, because there's usually clear and distinct parts of the process: you can do conceptual art for scenes, for characters, for objects; you can make a pile of thumbnail sketches, or a few polished illustrations; you can outline a comic, whether it's half a dozen pages or four panels total; etc.

So I can probably get away with something similar for writing; instead of thinking about writing as one big monolith per story, I can outline the gist of the story and then break it up into a series of writing exercises. If that makes any sense?

Also, ironically, I've kinda already done quite a bit of that "casual" research with Wikipedia dives and whatnot. So I think it'd be helpful to do as you say and break apart the larger story into smaller bits and then do deeper dives as-needed, because I'm definitely not totally ignorant about the things I want to write. I think this is less of a knowledge problem (like I originally framed it) and more of an organization problem, lol

i would like a bit of advice from fellow fanfic writers

What do you do when the idea you have for a fic far exceeds the writing knowledge you have at the present?

It's a bit of a weird question and it feels like it would be self-explanatory, like "okay just learn more stuff and then write". But I guess the problem I have is that I don't write as a profession, and the time I spend learning things for the sake of writing is time taken away from other things- both other interests like making art, as well as labor needed to afford rent + other expenses.

This is a bit of a long and rambly post, but i'm kinda tired and i want to get this out there even if it's a bit messy. i'd usually clean up a longer text post like this but i hardly have the energy to write it in the first place, so I hope y'all are okay w/ this mess lol

.

Just as an illustrative example, since this isn't something I'm specifically thinking about: imagine if you wanted to write a fanfic about a racing AU. not a one-shot short fic that's mostly about the general vibe/aesthetic of racing, but a long-form story that actually centers racing as a key story device.

That's fine if you already know about cars and racing and whatnot, but if you don't, then you need to take the time to actually learn about those things. You don't need to become a literal racing expert, but you'd still want to know basic things that would help you with telling the story. Like if you want to write a tense scene that takes place during a race, then you probably want to know what a typical race actually entails. and of course you can deviate from the norm, but you'd be doing it with intention, y'know?

A more common example would probably be if you wanted to write about a specific culture. like if you wanted to write a story that takes place in Sweden, but you've never set foot in Sweden. If you just go off whatever random vibes you feel, you might end up relying on your vague impression of what Sweden is supposed to be based on memes and Ikea and random news articles. but if your story relies on knowing about Swedish music or food or architecture or politics, then you'd kinda need to learn about that stuff.

The problem I have is that I understand that for the stories I want to write, I can and should learn about the subject matter. But the issue is that it takes that time and effort, and it's already so difficult to get started with writing even on topics I'm familiar with (like daily life in the modern world).

So if I want to do these story ideas justice, and actually write something compelling and accurate (especially when other cultures are concerned) then I'd need to expend that time + effort, which ends up serving as an extra barrier preventing me from ever writing in the first place.

But I feel like if I just jump into it and start writing then it's going to be difficult to actually get anywhere because there's so much that I don't know. And it feels like it's gonna take a long, long time before I actually "catch up" with the kind of knowledge I'd need to write the stories I want to write.

Again, the time itself wouldn't be much of a problem if I didn't also have to split my time with art and work. That's the crux of the issue- every hour I spend learning about stuff to prepare for good writing, that's time I can't spend on art (which is a much more developed skill I have, and more likely to help me make a living in the near- to mid-term). And when it comes to work, that's time I no longer have to spend on either art or writing.

It's such an uncomfortable situation for me to be in because I'm absolutely overwhelmed with ideas. I could probably start half a dozen different projects (some even interconnected) that all take place in different settings, based on different cultures, featuring different characters, etc.

I've been brainstorming these different ideas for ages; sometimes months, some of them it's even been a few years at this point. I've thought through some of the biggest plot points, and developed part of the setting in my mind, so the overarching macrostructure is already somewhat there. But to actually execute these ideas well, there's so much fine detail that I need to learn.

I could just pick one idea and stick with it (though that's incredibly hard for me to do with my scatterbrained focus and crippling executive dysfunction), and that would certainly help. But even in that case, each one of these project ideas entails so, so much that I still struggle to know where to begin.

I guess this is probably the #1 downside of having such broad interests? like there's so many incredible things I want explore in my stories, but the only way to do that without it feeling cluttered or chaotic is if these are long stories with large #s of lengthy chapters. and a long text is pretty obviously going to need way more work to write than a shorter text of similar quality.

Idk if any of this even makes sense T_T

i just wish I actually had a semi-functioning mind that would let me sit down and do things on a regular basis, so that I could've been gradually inching my way towards these ambitious goals over time instead of always being overwhelmed by everything all the time

[dystopiandilfs]

Dream's discord podcast. Basically him answering questions for 2.5 hours. This will sort of be in order but I fucked up my notes so it might not be in order completely. (From 13th May 2021)

For reference the photos at the end are: A prototype of fidget spinner merch as loads of people asked, a reference photo of his favourite merch and a photo he sent of his hair to prove he wasn't a brunette.

•He said his teeth are mostly straight but he's thought about getting Invisalign. He's never had braces. He has a tiny gap in the left side of his mouth and his canines are longer and sharper (vampire arc). He's never had teeth surgery so has his wisdom teeth still.

•He thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

•He likes seafood like lobster and crab. He had crab made in an air fryer last night. He like peas. He thinks quesadillas are good and likes most food.

•He hates Coffee and most drinks

•The Dream Shorts team is Ken who is his personal reminder (Ken's main job is to spam him with texts so he doesn't forget things as he's got a habit of reading texts and not replying) and also comes up with a list of sets for Dream shorts. The builder is a friend and munchymc builder "his talent gets wasted on Dream's shorts but we pay him so"

•His editors are currently Dizzy, Firesale and Mjcr. Willz doesn't edit for him anymore

•The mask animation isn't done but Mask should be released May 21st. He wants to release them together as "the whole song is a double meaning and the whole nuance will be lost without the animation" but no matter if the animation is done the song is getting released on the 21st.

•He and Sapnap eat together often.

•He and Sapnap prefer medium rare Steak

•He wants a home gym it's something he's willing to splurge on. They currently have a weight rack but they haven't even set it up.

•"Eat the rich? Shut up shut up" - Dream

•Talked about money basically saying "Most people don't understand how money works I don't have millions in my bank account it's in assets like merch, land and warehousing for that stuff" (He's not in his landlord arc)

•He's been debating Pride Merch because of Rainbow Capitalism. He doesn't want it too be seen as a money maker and if he does most proceeds would go to charity. He's currently super busy merch wise with Sapnap joining and George in the middle of joining. He did say "Only if the LGBTQ+ community in this community wants it" He thinks he's going to at least change the merch website to a pride one. Sapnap wants to make pride merch including a rainbow flame on his.

•He wants to create a charity that's centered around helping LGBTQ+ one day because he thinks that there's a lack of them. He mentioned that creating a charity was expensive and took a lot and was a complicated process including a board of directors but he wants to do it someday.

•He wanted to buy a bunch of houses in Florida which was a service to house mostly LGBTQ+ youth and people stuck in abusive households for free to get them out of bad home environments. But he didn't because he didn't want people thinking he was profiting of of abuse victims and LGBTQ+ community.

•He said he's terrible with time management and replying to people which is why Ken helps him (and also helps George and Sapnap). He mentioned how Sam messaged multiple times and Dream just forgot to answer but felt bad "I feel like people think I hate them..... Cause I'd be mad if people did that to me"

•He tries to reply to a few texts a day (community number). He also can't do birthday messages everyday because you can only reply at certain times so it's not abusing the system so if you get one it's special. He said he does try but it's got a weird time gap.

•Him and the manhunt winner are trying to come up with a good time to film

•He wants to stream this MCC on twitch and says his team is good.

•He talks about why he's not partnered with Twitch. Basically Twitch has a lock rate (in which you make money) and you legally can't stream on YouTube. So legally if Tommy wanted to stream on YouTube he couldn't. Someone then mentioned how Bad is a twitch partner but still streams on YouTube "Bad streams on YouTube but he has for a while and I don't think that he cares" - Dream

•He likes to reply to every donation he gets on stream and feels bad when he doesn't so he'll turn them off when he streams and wants a platform deal where he can be payed to stream (not twitch). If he gets a streaming partnership he will stream a couple of times a week. He looked in to Facebook but they don't have an alias system meaning you can see everyone's actual Facebook account and personal info, he doesn't like seeing real names on Facebook so it would require a lot of altering if he was to stream there so he's thinking it's probably going to be YouTube.

•He was asked about if his demographic was what he expected and he said he went in with no expectations, he didn't even know what stans were, wasn't really on social media so he wasn't aware of the fan culture. "You guys are a handful sometimes but it's worth it"

•He also mentioned how he and the DreamSMP changed the twitch audience demographic. It used to be male dominated in both streamers and audience and now it's almost split which is unheard on.

•He has 5 fidget spinners in his house. Two in his bedroom. Two in his office. One in the living room.

•He likes his Minecraft skin as he thinks the arm is cook and you never see the rest of his skin really. He says it's unique and different and "me". Dream: You can't even tell half the skins apart on MC.

•He's not lost the motivation to stream. Most of the times if he wants to stream he gets George or Sapnap to do it and he just turns up. It's more beneficial to them as they have donos and subs on. (Don't we fucking know it "can you say hi to")

•He has listened to Lovejoy. Says the ep was great and they're very talented and awesome. Doesn't know what his favourite song is but probably would pick One Day because the chorus slaps.

•RIP to acoustic Roadtrip. He said instead of acoustic Roadtrip we get Mask so no losses today for Dream stans.

•"With Roadtrip I went to Parker and I said Hey I have a story I want to tell through music. I have no experience with that can you help me" He said sure. He crafted the music and melodies and how things are formed where it's catchy. I have less comfort singing that. I love the song and it's my song, it's very representative of me and I'm sure I could sing it but it's a song I'd be kinds of scared to sing live, with Mask I basically did everything. I sat there the entire time and maybe an hour out if the 100 I wasn't in the call. Dream came up with the lyrics and main melody for Mask (First one he's ever come up with) "That was just notes in my fucking voice memos"

•The clip we heard of Mask was a prechorus not the actual chorus. He thinks he'd be more comfortable to do a mask acoustic and it's more melodic than Roadtrip. The chorus also has a lot of instruments similar to Roadtrip. Mask starts of slow and guitar with minimal reverb and is more raw.

• He doesn't want music to be his main thing. It's something fun to do and he's passionate about it as it's a way to express emotions. He wants to release mask then go from there. He wants to release at least one more song but has nothing on his mind currently. His two ideas were Roadtrip and Mask.

•He wouldn't quit his job to become a pizza delivery man.

•His favourite features on himself are eyes or freckles and he also confirmed that he does have eyebrows.

•He was told that Parkour warrior would be bought back some time in the near future and he got excited for it. "Even if I don't win, which I will, it'll be fun"

•Went on about his MCC team but I'm not going to put that in as we should be getting them today. He did say he wasn't on Pink but he did sound confused. (For reference he's always in Pink as it's the last team announced and keeps the hype up by announcing the biggest streamer last)

•Said he and his mum had the Mr Beast burger. He recommends because he likes the avacado. He mentioned how Mr Beast uses "Ghost Kitchens" which is basically where he gives restaurants permission to cook his food so it's restaurant quality food.

•His favourite piece of merch is the circle smile. (The pool photo on Instagram). He said the quality was bad (he worked with a different company and didn't have his own company) and it was elasticy feeling and he's planning on re-releasing it again but with good quality.

•He's started to send merch out in custom packaging. So his bags have the smile and will mostly be green. Sapnap's has the flame and is either black or white. He's also trying to make it so every order has the sticker packs for both him and Sapnap.

•He loves the coins as it's cheaper than a hoodie but still celebrates the milestones and will last a long time. He mentioned how the old coins are getting removed off the site and how if you have any of the coins your special because only a few thousand get made. He's kept around 100 of each coin that he wants to give away in person.

•He wanted to have a cool store where you could access computers that give you access to the DreamSMP in spectator mode. But it's too costly and would require too much time and isn't safe fight now. He doesn't think it'd be worth it financially.

•Most of the hoodie are black instead of multiple colours because of limited supply and covid. Getting the colours are harder because if the pandemic which hopefully won't be an issue soon.

•He wants to do a short meetup tour with Sapnap and George with a few locations in the US (and if others nearby want to join like Quackity or Karl they can). He also wants to visit Australia, UK, Canada, Mexico and Philippines and do something like that there but definitely at least visit with George and Sapnap.

•He's never been to the Philippines but his mum has. He wants to set up a place in the Philippines where he can ship merch in bulk and it would help to reduce shipping. However it would probably be big milestone merch.

•He's not got the vaccine yet but will get it when he needs to. He doesn't leave the house so he doesn't see the point.

•He's the ideas man. George's footcam video was Dream's idea. The T-shirt video was Dream's idea. Most if not all of the Dream Team's videos are Dream's ideas.

•Said he's got a similar/the same hair colour as Froy (Dream buddy at this point the only difference between you and Froy is that one of you is dating Richard Madden /lh)

[julyarchives]

Thicker Than Blood || (M) || Ch. 01

Growing up in a tough neighborhood had you learning to deal with hard situations, the occasion leads you to cooperate with the mafia organization that took care of your neighborhood - Pentagon. Looking after yourself and valuing your safety brought you to adapt to the moment, but the line between working for them and protecting yourself is very blurry when you are forced to live under their roof.

→ Pairing: Pentagon OT9 x Reader

→ Genre: Smut; Mafia AU.

→ Words:  2.2K

→ Contains: Mentions of Alcohol; Mentions of Violence.

→ A/n: So this is our Pentagon Mafia AU Series! This story will be multi-chaptered and we will add more tags as the story goes on, we have big plans for it! We hope you guys like it and it is worth the wait!

→ Index: 01 • 02 • 03

Chapter 01 - The Collectors

The cute jeans and red t-shirt you wore barely matched the bar you currently were on behind the counter. The place was quite nice but it was still too rustic for your liking, too brown and dark. Usually, the customers were rustic as well, and had a certain grumpiness to them, just like the place. You shrugged for the nth time while lost in thoughts. Working at a bar on a Tuesday night was the perfect situation for boredom, and bored you were.

Thinking back, you barely understood how you got the job anyway, walking in there one day to kick your friend's ass for drinking while you had a job to do with him and the owner liked your style. He needed someone behind the counter, you needed the money, it was perfect. You were rather young and sweet, you knew that often resolving some complicated shit and arguments in the bar but you also knew how to answer when needed and to take no one's shit home, you still stood up for yourself. Ok so maybe working at a bar was the perfect job for you.

Not wanting to dwell on how you wanted a better paid perfect job, you busied yourself by watching the entrance. It was Tuesday, so you've been kind of anxious the whole day waiting for them to show up. You almost gave your excitement away when two figures entered the bar and sat in front of you on the bar stools.

"Hello, boys. The usual?", you asked them with a bright smile.

"Please, Y/N".

"Right away", you chipped as you turned to get them their cold drinks. It'd be funny to see them drink a sweet cocktail instead of anything stronger if you didn't know them a bit better.

Wooseok and Yuto were young. Sweet and awkward boys that most older people liked and wanted to pamper. That's what you heard anyway whenever you spoke to the neighbors. You also knew they were attached to the hip, always together and always messing with each other. They had a third part to their best friend dynamic and you only saw him a few times at the bar, but you knew they clearly loved each other as brothers.

But that information didn't add up to the other information you had on the boys. The reason you expected them every Tuesday was because of their work. And that was what confused you. As every person in the region knew, there was only one force to respect and listen and that was the Pentagon gang. No, not a gang. It was straight down mafia business and these two cute young boys were their collectors. So every Tuesday they went out to collect the fee from every block and at the end, they'd crash at the bar to chat and drink something.

Seeing them every week made you realize how nice they were and quickly put the whole mafia business behind them. You, better than anyone, understood that you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Since then, Wooseok and Yuto became more open with you and always brought back gossip when they had a good day. After all, mafia men were still men. Well, boys.

"Here you go, guys", you placed the drinks down and smiled sweetly.

"Thanks, Y/N", Yuto had a deep voice and it always managed to startle you.

"So, any gossip?", you chuckled and the boys followed, lowering their heads as if to share a secret with you.

"Guy from the butcher shop was working alone", Wooseok said, "caught his employee with his girl".

"No way!", you truly were shocked at the irrelevant news.

"Yep", he said while Yuto nodded. "Oh, and someone's trying to get inside our territory. We saw a warning at a wall, directed at us and, well, at all of you".

"What?!", you shouted and they looked at you like you just offended their entire family. You were confused. One, why were they telling you information that may be confidential? Two, how could they speak about something dangerous so casually?

"We have orders to let you know, actually", Yuto said as if he was reading your mind. "We know who these people are but not their faces. We thought maybe they'd start by frequenting a place where they can get more intel on our people".

"Here then".

"Hm, yeah", Wooseok nodded. "The warning only said to be careful who is loyal to us or the community would show us. We guess they want to turn people against us"

"More people, more money. An entire neighborhood against us wouldn't be controlled by usual methods. So, that's when you come in".

"If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, then no way". You were bold enough to talk back and they only raised their eyebrows at you.

"We only need you to be on the lookout for someone different", Wooseok clarified, "if there's at least one person asking the wrong questions about the community, you gotta let us know".

"Helps if we can identify a face", Yuto shrugged.

"Do I have a say in this?", you already knew the answer.

"As much as you do about our fee, Y/N".

"Fine. But if they come for me, I won't wait for your boys to come to rescue me. I'll bolt", you said with a sigh in defeat.

"You won't be alone", Wooseok said as Yuto typed away on an old phone. "You'll be getting a visit from tomorrow on, he's our shapeshifter, blends in wherever".

"If you have a guy like that, why put me to watch anyone?"

"Y/N", Yuto sighed and looked straight into your eyes. "We could burst into any safe house right now and do whatever we pleased with whoever was in our way. But we do value our community, that's why we got hold of this business in the first place. The bar is where everyone comes for information and you know that. Don't forget why you're behind this counter, to begin with. We need the bartender to do her job and chat with her customers as she does. The info will come to you".

"I-", you were starstruck and kept glancing from Yuto to Wooseok, hands on the counter. "I- this is the most you have spoken to me since we met". It came out accidentally and you wanted to slap yourself.

Wooseok laughed and Yuto smiled at you. You could feel the heat on your cheeks but only nodded to yourself, still processing everything. They finished their drinks in one big gulp and got up, Yuto nodding at you still with a cute smile on his lips, one that didn't match his previous words. Wooseok watched as Yuto walked out of the bar and chuckled at your expression that slowly was turning grumpy.

"I know you'll do just fine. It's not like us to put people in our business but to protect people, we need you", he was leaning forward, as if to make you see him and only him. "So, congratulations, you got promoted!", he laughed.

"Yeah, I'm the lookout kid", you definitely were grumpy now. "You need me to protect people but who protects me?".

"Me", Wooseok said a bit too fast. "I mean, Pentagon does. And you'll have the right company for that, don't worry. He'll be here tomorrow night".

Wooseok smiled at you again and turned away from you, leaving you to your thoughts. Why the hell was this happening? You got why this way was safer to find out who was behind the threat but you still were unsure. Well, it's not like you could say no without a valid reason. And apparently, your safety wasn't one.

You watched Wooseok leave and sighed. Getting their glasses to clean up, you kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong but also all the things that could go right. Part of you wanted to impress them and come out as a hero, it'd give you something else to do instead of just being the bartender. You laughed at the absurdity of it all and quickly shoved it all in the back of your head, deciding to let the future self deal with the situation and this guy who'd meet you tomorrow, slipping back into the boredom of a Tuesday night at the bar once again.

Laying on your bed, your mind raced nonstop and you couldn't sleep no matter how much you tried. Yuto's words kept coming back and you felt even more deflated each time. "Don't forget why you're behind this counter, to begin with". You knew your upbringing was shitty and you had to fend for yourself a long time but you honestly thought that it didn't matter much until now.

Your parents fled when you were eight. They had some issues with themselves and suddenly having a family became too much of a cage for them and they fled. They left you with your grandmother and never came back. Your grandma was a saint, she was sweet and loving but she was sick enough to not be able to work, so you toughen up and started bringing money home by twelve years old.

You smiled thinking about how she raised you with such care and love that you managed to get that trait from her even if the streets treated you like shit. You discovered soon enough that all the love your grandma had was all the love you could get because no one liked a little girl who put her hands on whatever she could find to sell and get hers. You met a few people while you grew up and managed to turn out just fine even if it bruised you more than you liked to admit.

When you were around seventeen your grandma passed, you thankfully blocked whatever memory you had of her suffering and only focused on her happy memories. Since then you got her small and simple house and got more involved in the community, everyone who respected your grandma finally understanding why you were a kid like you were. Fast forward a few years and you got the job at the bar and things got a bit better.

You got up from the bed and scoffed at how things were mostly shoved on your face enough that you had to go with the flow every time. Fucking Pentagon taking over the neighborhood when you were a kid and now this. You heard more than participated in the whole protecting mafia business when you were younger, but the situation wasn't strange to you. Getting around in the streets you knew things and the most important one was to follow the organization's rules.

When you were twelve and started to hit the streets, you knew very well to not mess with the men from the org. But also soon enough you learned that the best way to earn anything good was to be on their good side. So you started to run a few errands for them and earned a good amount. Of course, you had nothing to do with them but still, it was a good connection. You didn't know much about the members in the hierarchy but you were sure that no one from the time you were a kid was still in their ranks.

You were sure mafia business was very harsh and violent but the boss was too violent once upon a time and things got out of hand. The neighborhood they swore to protect was being targeted and they brought the fight to all people. Fortunately, it ended after a few months of much fear and blood around the streets and you heard they all changed members. Rumor had it that it was their kids that took over when the parents died during the more violent times, at least in the high ranks. But you had stopped tending to them a few months before it went down so you had no idea for sure.

You only knew that Pentagon had a hard time getting people's trust again and started a more gentle approach with the community, hence why Wooseok and Yuto were dear to some people under their wings. They went over to everyone who had helped them directly and formally thanked and apologized for their trouble. Of course, they still terrified people who walked out of line and when the community respected them again, it was clear they were in charge. But now it seemed like they only cared about their own business and getting richer with their schemes instead of getting involved in a bloody gun war.

You realized you were standing in the middle of the corridor getting lost in thought and laughed to yourself before finishing the path to the kitchen to get water. The cold water helped you calm down and soon you were too busy sitting on the couch looking for any silly reality show to get lost into.

Halfway through the episode, you felt the sleep taking over you but being comfortable on the couch made you just pull a cover you kept there over you and stayed there, falling asleep in seconds. It was a very rough and long day, so you welcomed the slumber gratefully. Little did you know that while you succumbed to sleep in the living room, your phone buzzed in your bedroom, a small text that should be completely out of line appearing.

We trust you to do this safely but count on me to help. -WS.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 01 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.1 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

Next part (02) ->

{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Deceit

Life has a weird way of turning things around. Of putting people in the most unlikely scenarios, and leaving them on their own to try and figure out what to do next.

Keanu's mind has been restless since the moment he saw the bleeding, unconscious girl inside that wreck of a car, four days ago.

It was on the side of the empty road, and he was just about to drive pass it when something made him stop. Whoever caused it was gone, and there were no words to describe the sting on his chest when he saw her. The next moments happened in such a blur that he still has a hard time trying to put everything together. He remembers carefully lifting the girl's body off the wheel. He remembers checking her heartbeats, so faint and weak. And he surely remembers calling an ambulance and staying there, hoping, praying she wouldn't be just a corpse when they got there.

He couldn't quite see the extension of the damage since he was too scared to move her around. The girl wouldn't wake up, it didn't matter how many times he called, and as time passed, minutes passing by impossibly slow, he felt his heart sinking. Over and over again, he placed two fingers on her neck, just to make sure she was still alive. Her breathing was shallow and fast, and Keanu couldn't even notice in his agitation. There was way too much blood coming from a wound on her forehead, and more staining her light blue blouse. He couldn't believe he'd watch her die, right there before his eyes.

A wave of relief washed over him when the ambulance came, and he watched, helplessly, as they put her on the stretcher, pushing it to the back of the ambulance. A man had spoken to him, he's not sure what, but his legs carried him to the ambulance with her, and there, seated between two paramedics, he looked at the girl, once again praying she'd survive the ride.

She did. She was strong, the doctors said, and had successfully recovered from the two surgeries she had to go through. There was a lot of internal bleeding, they said, and now, the girl was in a coma. And nobody could tell how long it'd take for her to wake up.

But that was four days ago. Today, still at the hospital, Keanu tries to focus on whatever the council of doctors are saying. He had paid for everything, and he wouldn't have anything less than the best health care for the girl. (Y/N), he had found out. A beautiful name, that he thought suited the girl perfectly. Seated on the head of the table, Doctor Wright speaks of her condition, but Keanu's mind has drifted away a while ago.

“Mr. Reeves?” The woman, Alice Harris, gets his attention. She's the psychologist involved. The only reason why she's here is that there was damage on (Y/N)'s brain. There's a sixty percent chance that her memories were affected. They don't know how much yet, but they'll be ready to deal with whatever happens when she finally opens her eyes again. If she ever does. But Keanu won't give this possibility any thoughts. “Are you willing to do this?”

“Do what?” He didn't want to come out as not being interested in this. He was. But he can't pretend he knows what he would be agreeing with.

“Mr. Reeves, I know you're also affected by this. We all can see it. But we need you to have your mind clear.” The surgeon speaks, his hands cupped together, lying above (Y/N)'s papers. “If not, we'll place her under our care until we can contact her mother-in-law.”

“Mother-in-law?” How much of the conversation did Keanu lose?

“Let me.” Dr. Wright says. “Mr. Reeves, we have made some research on our patient's life. (Y/N) had just moved here, and unfortunately, she lost her husband only two weeks ago in a work-related accident.” This time, Keanu pays attention, his eyes focused on the man. “The only other person she has here is a friend named Laura Thompson, and her mother-in-law lives in Argentina, Lucia Davis. A few friends from her hometown, but nobody else. Nobody here who can help her through... Her condition.”

“There's still a chance she'll remember, right? Forty percent.” Keanu could only imagine what it'd be like. He'd never wished that on anyone, waking up one day with nothing inside. No record of who you were before. And he didn't want this for her. Not after what she's been through. “If she's alright then–”

“It wasn't about this condition I was talking about.” He cuts off, sighing and exchanging a glance with the neurologist. “Mr. Reeves, (Y/N) is three weeks pregnant.”

There's a sudden buzz on Keanu's ears, as his brain tries to process what he just heard. He's quick to make the math though. Three weeks pregnant, lost her husband two weeks ago... She was just starting to plan everything, probably just about to break the news to him or the family, and then, he died. That was probably the reason for her accident. Driving fast, tears clouding her sight, wondering what she'd do now, all alone, with a kid on the way. “Everything you need me to do, I will. I'll pay for anything she needs, it doesn't matter how much.” The words flow out, almost a living thing.

“Dr. Harris raises a hand to stop Dr. Wright, who was just about to say something. “Mr. Reeves, as we already said, we fear that our patient will have some kind of memory loss if she wakes up. And people on her position are always scared, and the feeling of being lost may drive them into self-destructive behaviors.” The woman speaks slow, and Keanu sighs. He's suddenly angry, wanting people to just spit everything out so he can understand what's going on and decide what to do with it. Bouncing his leg under the table, he nods, urging her to continue. “In that scenario, knowing about a pregnancy can make things take a bad turn, and even put the unborn child in danger.”

“What will you have me do?” He bursts out, impatiently. “If you need another specialist, or transfer her to some other hospital, do it.”

“What we need is far more complicated than that.” She continues. “A little unusual, but I believe it will work.” She takes a deep breath, fixing her glasses. “Mr. Reeves, we need you to introduce yourself as being (Y/N)'s husband.”

“What?” He inquires, unable to believe his ears.

“If she wakes up–”

“When.” Keanu is quick to correct her, his voice letting it show how anxious he is.

“When, forgive me.” Dr. Harris mutters. “It will be better if she has someone close. And a husband, since she's with child, will certainly give her peace of mind until... Until she remembers. If she remembers and if she does have a memory loss in the first place.”

Keanu looks down at his hands, resting on the wooden table before him. He should say no. This is way too much, too much of a crazy idea to follow up. But these are the best doctors money could pay for, and he did say he'd do anything that could help her. But he'd never thought this would be what she needed. There was no other option to him, that much was obvious, even if he didn't want to admit it right way. “Alright then.” He agrees, nodding.

“Good. We'll contact her friend and mother-in-law to let them know about this.” Dr. Wright says, getting up. “I'll need you to attend some meetings, Mr. Reeves, there will be some things we'll need to discuss.”

“Sure.” As if he hasn't been coming to the hospital every day to visit the girl.

The days start passing a little faster now, as Keanu meets up with the psychologist to make things ready in case she wakes up. They said there's no need to rush, that it may take several weeks, months even... But Keanu won't share their skepticism. He believes she's coming back soon, so he'll have everything in place for the biggest lie he'd ever tell. He has the excuses in place, the backstory, everything. He even has the fake ring already, and he never felt so bad as he did when buying it. But still, he carries it in his pocket every time he goes visit her, hoping she'll wake up.

Two weeks have passed, and today, as usual, Keanu looks through the open blinders, his eyes set on her sleeping figure. (Y/N) looks so peaceful in his eyes, as if she's simply sleeping. He can't help but admire her beauty, even in a simple hospital gown, with her hair a little messy, she looks pretty. His eyes drift a little, all the way to her stomach. It's still flat, but he knows there's life in there, growing. A life that will need their mother. “C'mon, (Y/N). Wake up.” Keanu mutters, his voice barely a whisper.

After a few more minutes, he leaves, walking slowly through the hospital, all the way to his car in the underground parking lot. On the drives seat, he looks at the wheel, the door still open, and he thinks. About everything at the same time. The wrecked car, the blood, the girl, the pregnancy, the lie... It all comes flooding his mind as he runs a hand through his dark hair. He's so drowned in his head that he almost doesn't hear the phone ring. But when he does, Keanu easily finds it in his pocket, not even looking at the screen before picking up. “Hello.” He mutters, ready to dismiss whoever it is. He needs to go home, to sleep, to put his mind in place.

“Mr. Reeves. She's awake.”

You still can't put things together. The woman has been talking you through it since yesterday morning when you crawled back into consciousness. She told you everything. How you ended up here, to begin with, but it doesn't matter how hard you try, you can't remember it. In fact, you can't remember anything. When you began to freak out yesterday, a nurse came and gave you something that now forced you to calm down. So you just lie there, staring at Dr. Harris as she tries to help you. But she's failing because your mind is completely empty. The tears keep rolling down, one after the other, and it doesn't matter how much you dry them, more come soon after.

How is it even possible? How can someone lose everything they were? Everything they had? Shaking your head no, you close your eyes shut, not wanting to listen anymore. Her questions remain unanswered because you just don't know the answer them. The only reason you know your name and age is because she told you. But all the rest... It's a mystery. It's gone.

“I can't.” You mutter, running a hand through your forehead. “I can't remember. You're not helping.” Crying again, you bite back a sob. “Please, just... Don't I have anyone? Parents? Friends? Anyone... I...” You can't be alone in the world. There has to be someone, a familiar face who will bring something back.

“You're parents passed away when you were young, sweetie.” She says, and another sob erupts from your mouth. “But you have a husband.”

You're not sure how you feel about it, with too many conflicted sentiments flooding your heart. But you do feel... Relieved? You're not alone. There's someone who could help you through, who knows you. “I-is he here?” You stutter. “Can I see him?”

“Sure.” She stands up from the armchair she positioned next to your bed. “I'll call him.”

Nodding, your eyes are on her back as she leaves. Using the bed's remote control, you move it up until you're in a seating position. The minutes go by and you're still alone. The blinders are closed, so you can only see shadows passing by. Maybe he got tired of waiting. Maybe he–.

“(Y/N).” The strong, deep voice calling your name gets your attention, and your eyes find the man standing some feet away from the bed. He's... Gorgeous. Tall, with long dark hair, which falls on his face, hiding his eyes a little. His beard gives him an atmosphere of mystery but makes him even more handsome.

Is that him? Are you really married to this man? “Are you...” The words fail you, and your voice fades.

“I'm Keanu Reeves. Your husband.”

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 10 (Bucky Barnes au)

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed,

You put me on  and said I was your favourite”

Word count : 1712

Going back to everyone wasn't even as awkward as you'd predicted ; what had just happened with Bucky was pretty obvious. Yet, all the guests decided to cheer you up and spend their night telling you jokes or just talking to you about random memories. When you went back to your  room for good, you made sure Bucky walked you there : you were silently thanking Steve for giving you a room this far away from the others, since it gave you the opportunity to speak freely.

"So, about earlier,"  you started, "I think..."

"Hum,  yeah. I get it must be complicated for you." He scratched the back of his head as you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

"It's not, actually." You looked him in the eyes. "I know exactly what I want."

Something gleamed in his eyes – a hint of hope, maybe.

"You do?" he asked. "I don't want you to be in this situation, so..."

"I swear," — you gently grabbed the front of his shirt  – "I promise I know you're who I want." You lowered your gaze. "I'd be a fool to pretend otherwise."

Bucky tilted his head down to see you better, breathing on the tip of your nose. "This makes me...really happy." He kissed your nose, making you feel an instant warmth in your chest. "Now go get some rest. You've had an eventful night."

"You're right." You let go of him to grab the doorknob and turned around. "Wait, before I go..." You span and placed your hands on his shoulders to help you reach his height and planted a kiss on his lips again. "I really wanted to do this again."

You chuckled and left him at the door, quickly closing it behind you so that he wouldn't see you smiling like a teenager. Changing into your pyjamas, you were still unable to think about anything else than the  first kiss you'd shared and the emotion it'd gifted you with. You chose not to go to sleep right away : you knew a knock on your door would come. Around twenty minutes afterwards, you were ready to open the door to your sister right after hearing her.

"So, that happened," she said when she sat on your bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Don't you already know that?" you teased. "I thought you were supposed to be a mind-reading enchantress or something. Your skills are getting rusty, sis."

Wanda couldn't help but laugh before asking her question  again. "Seriously, I want to hear it from you, not  from your thought process. It's too much of a mess anyway."

You rolled your eyes at the skies  before sitting next to her. "It was... I don't know how to describe it." You shrugged. "It felt right."

"And what are you going to do about Darren? I heard you saying you were over, but are you actually doing it?"

You stopped to think for a moment. What would divorcing Darren concretely mean? You'd have to go through a divorce procedure, and you didn't know how those were  supposed to go. Maybe you could  ask Tony if he knew any good lawyers who might you out. But there was another thing you'd need to do.

"I'll  go get my stuff tomorrow. I'm thinking  of asking Tony if I can stay here...permanently."

You wrapped your hands around your legs and rested your chin on your knees.

"I'll go with you. I don't trust him."

"Thanks, Wanda."

Your sister hugged you tight before lying down next to you.

"I'm here for you. We're family," she noted. "Now get some sleep ; you need it."

You lay next to her and as it turned out, you fell asleep pretty fast. Maybe soulmates had that effect on people.

---

"He's not even here," you remarked. "Even after our fight last night, he doesn't bother showing up at his own apartment."

Darren's behaviour was already heating up your anger, and you were once  again patting yourself on the shoulder for refusing both Steve and  Sam's help that day. They would not have handled this by calming you down. Maybe Steve would've tried, but well, even he had his limits. Messing with his family was one of them.

Your sister followed you to your bedroom, where you dragged a suitcase from under your bed. When you opened it, Wanda's eyes lingered for a second : it wasn't empty.

"Were you packing for a trip?" she asked.

You looked away and shrugged. "I don't know if I was planning for a honeymoon or a bad fight," you admitted. "Turns out it's the latter." You kept running around the place, packing everything from your most random flannel shirt to your favourite coffee mug.

"I think I'm ready to go," you ended up saying as you closed your suitcase. "I'm- wait. Did you hear the door too?"

"Y/n?"

"Fuck." You looked at Wanda, who'd recognised Darren's voice as well. You walked out of the bedroom, your suitcase rolling behind you. Your husband's eyes fell on your luggage before going back to you. You tried searching for any trace of sadness on his face ; all you found was anger and disappointment.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. "And what is she doing here?"

"Wanda's here because she wanted to help me get as far away from you as possible," you replied. "My whereabouts are none of your business anymore."

"You can't just leave like that. You're still my wife, as far as I know."

"Not for long."

Darren's face got bright red as he went in the kitchen. You knew he was about to start yelling, so you went for the door. His arm stopped you ; you hadn't seen him turn around. He grabbed your wrist, causing you to let out a faint scream. Wanda didn't need any more excuses to use her abilities.  She pinned him against the wall with a slight gesture of her hand.

"Don't you touch her again," she breathed. "You don't want me to use my full strength."

You could see Darren's nostrils flaring with anger and his fist clenching. You hated seeing him like this : some part of you still remembered the guy you'd fallen for several years earlier and you wished you could've made him stay like that.

"Don't blame  yourself for his behaviour, y/n," Wanda told you, not looking away from Darren. "Trust me, this man can't be changed. He'll always be a douchebag."

Your sister let go of him and opened the apartment's door for you. You were finally stepping out of that place, walking away from Darren.

"So what?" you heard him yell. "You're just gonna go back to that weird staring guy?"

You turned around and stared at him. You were done looking down and letting him hurt you. "Stop."

"What is it, huh?" – He walked closer to you and you gestured towards Wanda to let her know you were okay. "Is he better in better in bed than I am? Because I highly doubt that any man could make a good one out of you."

"Wow, you got to this level of insults. I shouldn't be surprised, coming from you." You paused, unsure of what his reaction would be to your next words. "I'll have divorce papers sent to you."

His jaw dropped, your words leaving him speechless. HIs insults still left a bitter taste in your mouth as you did your best to hide your pain. You didn't think such a long relationship could end like this, in a heartbeat, in the drop of a coffee cup.

Going back to the compound seemed to take less time than it took going to Darren's place. You were looking out of the window in silence, even though you knew your sister was holding back her remarks about Darren : you didn't need mind-reading powers to know that.

"Go ahead. Tell me I should've seen it coming."

"I'm not going to tell you that. Believe it or not, I wish I'd been wrong about him."

You gave Wanda a side glance : her grip on the stirring wheel was stern but her eyes were filled with sympathy.

"But I should've seen it coming. Damn, I despised his friends the moment I met them and he's just like them."

Wanda chuckled, which seemed inappropriate at first. "You didn't see that coming."

These words forced a smile out of you. "He would kick his ass, wouldn't he?"

"Absolutely. And he wouldn't be gentle about it."

You fiddled with your fingers. "Moments like these... I miss him the most."

"I know." Your sister's hand grabbed yours for a second before going back to the wheel. Her voice had gotten a little shaky from the emotion. "I also know he would've liked Bucky for you."

"Maybe. I shouldn't rush into this, though."

"Wait, what?" Wanda was confused, it seemed. How could she not be?

"Wanda, I just got out of a long relationship. I'm not even divorced yet. Bucky deserves better than this mess of a situation."

"Oh c'mon, he won't care about that. Have you seen how the man looks at you?"

A grin made its way to your lips as you remembered the numerous occasions Bucky  had laid his blue eyes on you, and yesterday, on your lips.

"I feel like I can't do this to him, you know? There are so many things I like about him, from the way he bothers pronouncing my name correctly, not the bland American way, to the habit he has of scratching his neck... You  know, dumb stuff. But what do I have to offer him? I'm not..."

"Stop. That's Darren speaking, not you," your sister softly reprimanded you. "You're worth so much more than you think you are. I also know that the guy who's going to rush to you to make sure you're okay is falling in love with you, if he hasn't already. His mind is almost as big a mess as yours."

"Wow, that's a first," you joked, the mention of love making you anxious. "The mess thing, I mean."

"Yeah, sure," — she snickered – "the mess thing."

--- They're getting serious, guys! I hope this part was good and that you liked it. Part 11 will come soon. :)

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3

[throwaway3844893]

Imagine: Newt proposes to Tina

Tina welcomed the warmth of the case with a sigh. Though it was nearly summertime, and New York continued to get hotter every week, Tina still enjoyed the homeliness of the case. She had grown used to it over the last two years. Tina caught a movement in the corner of her eye."Hello, Dougal," She said with a smile as she knelt down, watching as the supposedly concealed creature ran around with bundles of apples in his hands. It froze, allowed itself to be seen again, and ran up to her, dropping the apples in the process before enveloping her in a big hug. Tina laughed quietly, standing up to accommodate the added weight of the creature. She raised an eyebrow at the creature. "Do you have any idea where Newt might be?" She asked it before its eyes turned blue, predicting where he could be. The demiguise made a loud noise that resembled the screech of a phoenix and climbed down her body, pointing in the direction of the mooncalves and occamies. She set off in the way Dougal had pointed her. Tina walked through the case, the stress from the day easing off her back. She'd taken her jacket off up in Newt's apartment; he had given her a spare key, "in case I ever forget something," though there was a definite underlying meaning in those words. She walked through the green, rubbery vines that hung from the trees into the occamy exhibit, where many tiny, violet and indigo snake like creatures greeted her with a series of chirps. "Hello," Tina said softly, holding out her hands for one to slither on. They were awfully apprehensive of her at first, not doing anything she asked unless ordered by Newt, but gradually her kindness to them took its toll and they began to trust her. Though she suspected it also had to do with her and Newt's relationship status as well. Things had progressed smoothly over the last two years; they basically lived at each other's apartments now, though neither had made the motion of fully moving in. The occamy wrapped itself around Tina's shoulders as she exited its enclosure, her entourage of creatures providing a wonderful company. Dougal pulled gently at the hem of her blouse, inspiring her to look down and see what he pointed at. A large smile began to spread on her face as she spotted Newt, his hair shiny and golden in the artificial sunlight as he worked to feed a runespoor.

He looked beautiful. Tina reveled in the sight of him for more than her fair share of moments before he turned around and got a glimpse of her, flashing his toothy grin as he raised a hand. "Welcome home, darling!" He called, wiping his hands off with a rag before making his way toward her, arms spreading wide.

"Home?" Tina inquired, raising an eyebrow as Newt enveloped her in a hug. He kissed her for a moment: a short, no-nonsense kiss, and smiled at her comical look. "That's a new one."

Newt chuckled nervously, avoiding her eye. "Yes, well, you technically live down here now, don't you? There's rarely a time when we aren't together." At Tina's look, he continued. "That's not a bad thing! I thoroughly enjoy every moment we spend together. I love you, Tina."

"That's true, and I love you too," Tina responded, beginning to walk around the case. A slight breeze picked up, gently swirling her waves behind her face. The sun had begun to set, and a soft glow emitted from the artificial light in the case. Tina took a deep breath, enjoying the familiar sent of Newt's case. She could spend her entire life here, she thought to herself.

Not that she was going to.

Tina sighed, ridding herself of the thought. Those were nothing but intrusive, false lies she thought sometimes. She could never present these ideas to Newt, however, because he would most certainly take them to heart.

Newt noticed her change in demeanor and quickly came to action. "What's upsetting you, my love?" He asked, keeping enough open for the conversation but allowing Tina room to exit in case she didn't want to talk about it. He always was sure to do this, as Tina was a complicated figure. There were times she wanted to talk and times she wanted to be left completely alone. The timing varied on both her tone and the setting of the conversation.

Tina turned to face him, deciding that now was her only chance to finalize the thoughts she'd been suffering for awhile. "Newt..." she started, meeting his concerned gaze. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Do you see a future for us?"

Newt swallowed hardly, ignoring the lump in his jacket's pockets that had been there for days.

"Erm..." he started, unsure of what to say. Of course he saw a future for them, he was planning on proposing to her! He fidgeted with his hands while searching for an answer, his mind flicking back to the Ministry letter he had received the day before purchasing her ring.

The Ministry had offered him a position as a research lead and expert on an ancient beast that travelled through London once every few decades, a breed of creature nobody knew much about. Newt hesitantly accepted the offer, and was off on his way.

"It's okay if you don't," said an anxious Tina, biting her bottom lip. "I'm sorry I said it, just forget I ever aske-"

"Of course I see a future with you, Tina!" Newt started, desperate not to lose her in this time of need. He wouldn't— no, couldn't— let her get away. Not when he had their entire life together to look forward to. "I love you, and I want to build a life with you. I would be honored to have a future with you, in whichever capacity that could be. If only..."

Tina's face had fallen. "If only... what?"

Newt knew this was a pivotal moment. He thought carefully before speaking. "I got a letter from the Ministry. They want me to go back to London to research a magical creature they've just discovered," he said, avoiding Tina's eyes. Newt hesitated before saying the next sentence. "They want me to go back in four months."

He watched as Tina's face dropped, and a million different emotions seemed to take place at once. Anger, confusion, sadness, fear. All of those were accomplished in what felt like a millisecond before Tina began to stutter out a response.

"No, they can't, we- you have a life here, in New York. They can't just whisk you away whenever they please just because they want someone to research creatures that they could study perfectly fine themselves. It just... it isn't fair!" Tina said, her accent growing thicker as quickly as her voice did shrill. She threw her arms into the air before placing both of her hands on her temple, burying her face in them with a sigh. The occamy had long since slithered off of her shoulders, not wanting to endure listening to the two argue any longer than it had to. "It's not right. They can't force you."

Newt shuffled for a few moments, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watched the ground beneath his shoes. A stray piece of grass stumbled around the floor, and it took all of Newt's willpower not to scoop it up and finish his plan early. His plan that had gone horribly wrong. "Actually, Tina... I volunteered to do it," he admitted, avoiding her eye.

The silence that followed was deafening. Though she made no noise, Newt winced. Tina's refusal to speak was enough. She tensed up and turned around, busying herself with the feeding of a creature. She stared at it intently, willing herself not to cry. He'd volunteered to leave? After everything they'd built- a home, careers, a life, he'd decided to go back to London? Her mind raced, and Tina was unable to form a steady thought as panic after worry after anger rehashed in her mind. Newt stuttered behind her, trying to find the words to rectify his mistake. "I'm sorry, I know it was a rash decision, but it was an opportunity I've been waiting for for years-"

"Years?! What, have you just been waiting for a perfect time to up and leave?" Tina yelled, not believing what Newt was telling her. She knew she was being irrational, but the thought that he'd wanted to leave for so long absolutely tore her apart. It was one of her fleeting thoughts; sometimes he would mention how he missed London, but she knew she'd be the same if it were the other way around. But if he left for London, that would mean she'd lost him. For good. Tina couldn't stop the indomitable tears that began to fall from her eyes.

Newt stared back at Tina, who still faced away from him, flabbergasted that she would make such a claim. "No, Tina, no. If I could stay here and study the creatures here I would. But they only travel in packs throughout London once every few years, it could be a decade before they come again," He explained, taking a few cautious steps toward her before stopping. "I would never leave you on purpose. I don't want to leave you here. If there was a way I could take you to London with me, and you could live there with me, I'd have told you."

He began to realize that his plan was diminishing drastically, and the small box that resided in the pocket of his waistcoat seemed to weigh one thousand more pounds.

Tina was quiet for a long time, sitting down on a bench in the case to steady herself.

"How are we going to get through this?" Tina whispered, allowing a few tears to fall from her eyes before wiping them away and standing up. "How will we survive with an ocean between us?"

Newt held onto Tina's forearm, trying to comfort her. "We did it before, we can do it once more. It would be for just a few months and I'll be back. If I can find a way to get you to London with me I will, but I'm not sure how the laws work between MACUSA and the Ministry," he explained, and she nodded. It was difficult to accept, but this was the opportunity of Newt's lifetime. Tina knew she couldn't take that away from him.

"Is there any way you know of that I could go to London with you?"

Newt could feel it. It bubbled in his chest, his heart pumping the fastest it'd ever gone.

"Marry me," Newt said all of a sudden, and before he could stop himself he was reaching into the top pocket of his waistcoat. The black box showed itself, and the simple ring began to reveal itself. But when Newt realized Tina had stilled and wasn't speaking, instead staring at him, his hands stopped. "I-I'm sorry, it was out of place for me to say that, if I've upset you-"

"No," Tina said, walking toward him and shaking her head. Newt felt his entire world crashing down on him. She'd rejected him, and he couldn't help the tears that began to fill his eyes. "Don't apologize, I-" Tina stopped mid-sentence when she saw the state Newt was in, and everything seemed to click. "Oh, you stupid idiot, yes, yes, I'll marry you, of course I will!"

Tina crashed into him then, enveloping him in the most passionate embrace he'd ever felt. She kissed him once, twice, three times, before backing away. "Did you want to do it proper?" She asked. Newt nodded.

Tina smiled considerably as she watched him get on one knee. "Tina..." he started, opening the box and revealing the ring that was inside. "Porpentina... Goldstein, I have loved you ever since the day I met you. You have brought so much joy into my life; you accepted me when no one else would, cared for me when everyone else was as sick as I, and cared for my creatures as if they were your own. I'm in the hopes that someday they will be. Will you, Tina Goldstein, give me the pleasure of being your husband?"

[ma-gic-gay]

"Did you kill my brother?"

"What are you talking about, Jason?" Sonny asks his business partner who's clearly found out the truth.

"AJ. Did you kill him?"

"It's complicated-"

"No it's not. Either you pulled the trigger and let out the shot that killed my brother or you didn't, Sonny. I need to know what you did."

"Ava, she-"

"I didn't ask what Ava did, Sonny, I asked what you did. So just tell me already, did you shoot him with the bullet that killed him?"

"Yes. I did, I shot him because Ava made me think that he was the one who killed Connie. She told me that he'd killed her and I was mad. God, I was so mad that I killed him. Ava, she encouraged it, and I shot him because I thought I was avenging Connie's death."

"I can't believe you," Jason snarls at his mentor. "You thought I was dead! I died trying to protect you, and this is the thanks I get? You push my brother to drink again after my grieving mother calls him home because she needs one of her kids alive. He bonded with Michael! He was a part of my family again and you shot him. You killed AJ and didn't tell me for years. I found out about it because of Cyrus!"

"What the hell is Cyrus doing contacting you with that information?" Sonny asks, confused and upset. "And how the hell did he find out?"

"He sent me a tape with the audio of AJ's death, Sonny. I hate that man more than you could believe, trust me. But you hid this from me for years! I've been back so long and you hide from me that you're AJ's killer," Jason shouts, hands running through his hair.

"So did Carly!" Sonny weakly defends himself and he sees that the fire blazing in Jason's eyes softens slightly.

"This isn't about what Carly did! She didn't pull the trigger! She might not have told me that, but at least she didn't kill him. At least there's that. But you? I can't forgive you. You destroyed my mother. Monica, she needed to know one of her kids was okay and then the one that is, you just have to kill him too? Seems to be a pattern of yours, doesn't it?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You kill AJ and the reason everyone thought I was dead was because of you too, because I was trying to protect you. Kristina's been in a car bombing, Michael got shot, Avery was conceived on my brother's grave, Joss lives her life with bodyguards constantly around her, Dev died, Dante got shot- by you!- should I go on? That's just your kids and AJ, not even half of the stuff you've done. Should I go on?" Jason asks, shouting at him now.

"I know you're upset that Sam left you, Jason, but there are better ways to cope with it then by screaming at me," the shorter of the pair attempts to rationalize.

"Upset? Sonny, Sam left and she took my kids with her. Trust me, that doesn't cover the half of what I'm feeling right now. But I'm fine without Sam here, you know what I'm not fine with? You, who is supposed to be my friend, killing my brother and hiding that from me for so long." Jason fires back.

"Don't take this out on me, Jason," Sonny says, trying to impact this conversation somehow.

"What would you do if I'd done something like this to you, Sonny? I covered your ass so many times, I did everything you didn't want to do or couldn't do. Hell, you're only not still calling Carly a worthless slut because of me so don't you for a second act like my anger isn't justified. I raised your kids when you couldn't. When you were having a major life evaluation, I went to prison to protect your kid. While you were upset and angry, I was comforting your wife! I stood by you through everything, Sonny. Everything! I've got a right to anger, a right to being mad at you, and a right to downright hate you right now!" Jason shouts loudly.

"And I'm grateful for that!" Sonny shouts back. "But you're not listening and you're blaming everything on me when I'm not the only one to blame."

"You're the only one who pulled the trigger. Whatever Carly did, she would never do that to me or Michael," Jason reminds him.

"She helped me cover it up for months," Sonny tells him.

"To save your sorry ass so Michael wouldn't have to deal with more bad things! Her not telling the cops that you killed him, and lying to Michael about it, that was for him. Don't think for a minute it's because you're some amazing person because you're a killer of innocent men!"

"Don't you dare defend her and trash me in the same sentence! I did it to protect you, Jason!"

"Does she think I know?" Jason asks.

"Yes," Sonny admits. "I didn't want you to come back and get bombarded with bad news."

"I quit. I don't need your protection, I never have and I never will. You, on the other hand, might need some from me."

At that, Jason storms out of the office and drives over to the Corinthos home, where Carly is. He's got to find out why she did what she did.

He lets himself in and she smiles when she sees him at first, but quickly registers that he's emotionally conflicted. "What happened, Jason? Are you okay?" The blonde asks, rushing over to check him out. "You don't feel hot, so you're not sick. What's wrong?"

"Did you help hide it from me that Sonny killed AJ?" He asks her quickly when they're seated on the couch.

Confused, she says, "No. He said you knew, that he'd told you."

Jason sighs, his head in his hands. "I didn't. In fact, I just found out that he did that a few minutes ago when Cyrus sent me the recording of his death."

Frowning, Carly envelopes him in a hug. "Jason, I'm so sorry. If I had known, I would've made him tell you or told you myself. God, I'm so stupid! I should've known never to trust Sonny when it comes to this stuff."

"You thought I knew and I wouldn't have a reaction? For years, Carly, all I had for a family was you and Michael and Sonny. He killed my brother. You thought I'd just be fine with it?" Jason asks his best friend, hurt. "For someone who prides herself on knowing me, you really don't if that's what you think."

"He told me you were mad, told me you were processing! I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to watch you as your heart broke," Carly tells him, tears flooding her eyes but her far too stubborn to let them fall. "When we thought you were dead, I almost died, Jason. I was going to pull a Carly, I swear to God, and lose it at an inconvenient time. I know I should've been the one to tell you, I know, but I couldn't stand to watch you while you found out such terrible news. Sonny had me thinking you knew already so I thought there was no point to me telling you anyways."

"Believing what he says about me always seems to mess with you, doesn't it?" Jason asks, a small frown on his lips still.

"Yeah, it does," Carly agrees and the two sit there for a few moments in silence, reminiscing about the past. Before their lives were so complicated, when all that mattered was staying out of jail, each other, and Michael. "It always ends up fucking me over."

"That it does," he agrees, smiling softly.

"What are you smiling about? You just got terrible, earth shattering news, Sam and the kids left, and I ended up lying to you for two years. Why are you smiling?" Carly asks.

"Thinking about the what if's of life," he responds. "What it'd be like if not for that night."

"I made several offers for us to leave the country with Michael," Carly reminds him, chuckling. "Mainly after you came home, but still. You and I, we were in such a real life love and we had everything right. Except timing. When you were ready to confront your feelings for me, after an excruciatingly long period of time, I had slept with Sonny. When I had continually told you mine, you weren't ready to deal with it yet. Timing's a bitch."

"If we left the country, you wouldn't have Morgan, or Joss, or Donna," Jason reminds her.

"And you never would've met Sam, or had Danny, or Scout," she counters. "You think we would've worked out, had we done that, had I not slept with Sonny?"

"If I'd let us, probably," Jason admits after pondering it for a moment. "It would've been hard, but I think we would've. Provided, of course, neither of us backed out."

"You were the one who couldn't deal with it," Carly teases him.

"Yeah," Jason agrees, "I couldn't. Maybe what I felt was too strong or something, I don't know."

"Hey Jason?" She asks him a few minutes later, them both in their own worlds, thinking about what if's and their past.

"What?" He asks her, smiling slightly. His eyes give him away, blue and full of so much emotion in so many different forms.

She doesn't respond with words, just kisses him. Their lips intertwine and all feels right with the world for a moment as they're kissing.

But all good things must come to an end and they pull away. "That was-"

"Unexpected," Jason finishes, smiling at her. "Good unexpected."

"Glad we can agree. What's this mean for us?" She asks.

Instead of answering, he initiates a second kiss, a slightly more passionate one but roughly the same.

"Correction," Carly asks when they pull away, "what's that mean?"

"I don't know," he admits. "I don't know everything. I know that felt right, but you're married and I'm single."

"How do we keep ending up in this situation?" Carly asks, laughing. "First with AJ, then Sonny- our first marriage, when I was in love with you for half of it. And now, again."

"You get married too often," he smirks at her. "That's how."

"Well, maybe the third time of this is a charm," Carly smiles back. "It's an expression for a reason, after all."

Jason considers it for a minute. "God help me I'm going along with a Carly plan," he smiles.

"God help us both," Carly smiles before kissing him again.

I just watched you go through all the stages of grief. You ok???

[ma-gic-gay]

"I'm sorry, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Carly asks and he nods his agreement with the question, confused as well.

"His first allegiance has been you for the entire time I've known him! You call, the second he registers it's you he answers it. No matter what. We could be in a fight and he'd still pause it to answer that call from you. I don't know why, maybe there's something going on there I don't know about, but still. At least now I'm not competing for attention," Sam sadly smiles.

"Redo on the question: what the hell is that supposed to mean?" The blonde asks again, laughing when she figures out what it is she means. "Oh my god, you think we're having an affair! Oh my god! That's- oh my god."

Both of them burst into laughter at the thought of that. "You thought- us?" Jason asks, laughing still in a rare showing of emotion for him.

Confused, Sam takes that as a sign to say that. "Yeah, actually. I don't know, it just seemed like something that would happen between you two. Or that it was happening."

That stops their laughter promptly. "You do know we used to do that, right?" Jason asks her calmly. "Before Michael."

"And then I was in love with him for several years," Carly smiles at him, "and he wouldn't tell me his feelings until after Sonny and I had gotten together the first time. Stubborn goat. I practically told him everytime I saw him but he just smiled and gave me taxi money. Cruel, truly."

"Most of this took place when she was married to AJ," he finishes the version of the story Sam gets today, even though he could've sworn he'd told her before, "with a minor amount of her begging me to flee the country with her and Michael while she was married to Sonny the first time. But since I came back from my great world exploration, we've simply been friends."

"So you two were going to leave the country together, and you used to hook up, and you were in love at one point, and I never learned any of this?" Sam exclaims, angry and kinda hurt as well.

"I just assumed you knew. Honestly, Sam, I'm kinda surprised you didn't. Everyone knows it; we don't try to hide it or act like we weren't. People haven't just brought it up in... God it'd be years by now, but a long time. When you came to town, though, people were still talking about it pretty regularly. No clue why, maybe they found us fascinating or something, but how didn't you know?" A surprised Carly asks her former fellow mob wife.

"No one ever thought to tell me that his best friend was also someone he was in love with! Someone he considered not only leaving the business for, but someone he considered leaving everyone he cared about to protect," Sam exclaims.

"A million years ago," Carly defends him, "and besides, I doubt that ever would've actually happened."

"Mainly because I refused to let it happen," Jason smiles at her. "You were ready to leave the country on the next flight out and never look back, not for anyone or anything."

"Yeah, I guess I should've thought that out, but in my defense, we would've been happy in, say, Switzerland with Michael and very far away from Sonny," she quickly returns his smile, quipping back immediately.

"Switzerland has an extradition treaty," he reminds her. "Vietnam, on the other hand, does not."

"You were prepared to let me just take off to a country with an extradition treaty with my son and you?" Carly asks, mock offended. "That's just mean."

"Never. I would've made sure we went somewhere without one if we went, which we already established wasn't gonna happen," he smiles again, this time noticed by Sam exclusively, as Carly was busy fake pouting and he was trying to hold back a laugh. "Not once have I willingly gone along with a Carly plan and I plan on dying with that."

"Lies. My fake marriage to AJ so that Michael, me, and you could be a family again, legally," the blonde reminds him, smirking. "You went along with that one pretty easily. Granted, it was because you'd get everything back to how it'd been, your comfortable, no changing life."

"So you act like this, reminiscing about a past I found out about five minutes ago, and I'm expected to believe you truly, truly, aren't still feeling feelings for each other?" Sam asks, incredulous.

"Of course we have feelings! Joy, and anger, and fear and sadness and nostalgia all wrapped into one cozy blanket. But that doesn't mean we're cheaters in relationships, doesn't mean that he would cheat on you, that I'd do that to Sonny," Carly exclaims. "Jason is the most loyal man I have ever met. He's broken zero promises to me and believe me I've given him more than enough reason to. But still, he keeps his word. He would never, in a million years, cheat on you."

"Back the hell up, did you just say you've got feelings for him?" Sam asks, angry but unsurprised.

"We're friends, just friends!" Carly fights her.

"Tell me you're not still attracted to him, then, and I'll believe you!" Sam fires back. "Honestly, can you tell me that you have no feelings for him? Can you?'

There's a poignant pause and a shifted dynamic between the three when suddenly, everyone's eyes are on Carly. "I knew it," Sam scoffs. "I knew you were still in love with him, you slut! You say I'm bad, you've been friends with him for longer than I've known he existed and yet you love him, when you're married to someone else!"

Anger and confusion clouds his blue eyes before he says, "Sam! That is completely out of line! Don't you dare accuse her of this when you don't even know what she means yet, or start fighting with her in her restaurant!"

"So that's it? You're mad at me for getting upset with her for having feelings for you all this time? God, you're in love with her too, aren't you? Somewhere, some part of you is still in love with your best friend's wife. This is rich, maybe I should go tell Sonny about this, let him know his wife's a whore and her and you are in love," Sam angrily shouts. "After all, I'm just the baby mama now. Right?"

"Don't say that," he says softly. "I loved you, Sam, with every piece of me and you told me that we were over. That there was no chance of us reuniting. I love you and it kills me, to know you don't feel the same way back."

"You used the past tense. Loved. You corrected it when you noticed. If you're not in love with me, you're in love with her." Sam says calmly, disguising her anger.

"That's not how life works," Carly argues, interrupting whatever Sam's trying to say. "It's not black and white like that, it's covered in shades of grey as well. You, of all people, should know that. Love's complicated. Life's complicated. Don't expect me to be able to answer a question like that easily."

"If some part of your heart didn't belong to him-"

"Some part of it always will. He was my first love, and he's my best friend. He was the first person to show me unconditional love. The very first person to put up with me and treat me the way I never thought I deserved until I met him. So yes, of course I love him. Happy? Satisfied that now you can run back to Sonny and you two can try for baby number two?" Carly asks, the last part coming out as a sarcastic joke.

Jason stands there, stunned but processing it. She's in love with him? That's a shock. Definitely wasn't expecting that when he woke up today.

By the look on her face, Sam wasn't planning on hearing it either. "So you admit you're a whore who used Sonny because you couldn't be with Jason? Is that it? Or is it that you're somehow just coming to this realization now?"

"That's enough!" He says, pulling out of his thoughts. "Where the hell do you get off acting like this? You dumped me, and you're here now it pick a fight with a woman who's my best friend."

"A woman who's in love with you!" Sam says, hurt he's protecting her. "You protect her with everything in you and I can't even get half of your attention. God, I hope you two are happy together. I'm leaving."

No one tries to stop her as she storms off to the elevators.

A slightly embarrassed Carly looks at him. "Look, if I made this weird or anything, I'm sorry. I just- she asked for the truth and I think I needed to get it off my chest. I was planning on taking this to the grave, I swear. You and her are great together, truly, and so I don't want you to feel like you've got any burden to act on what I've told you. We can just forget this ever happened if you want."

"Can we?" He asks, contemplating. "I mean, yeah, I guess we could, but I know you and I know you don't ever give up or hide things. Once your feelings are out in the open, you leave it like that. You are incapable of hiding them."

"I have for this long," she smiles. "So, no pressure, but whatever we do with this knowledge is up to you."

"No pressure? What the hell has happened to you? Are you feeling alright?" He teases, a smirk playing on his lips despite his best attempts to hide it. "I, uh, I guess you're waiting on me to say something?"

"Kinda."

"You... It's complicated."

"No shit."

"Do I love you? Yes, of course I do. We're friends and you've been my family for a long time. When I woke up from the accident, you didn't know about it, didn't feel the need to be careful with me or treat me like I was marked fragile. Granted, we were just having no name sex, but still. And when you found out, you didn't care much. You had Michael, and remember how scared you were? That's why I agreed to take you both in, and it turned out to be both one of the best and worst things to happen to me. We fell into a solid friendship and eventually in love. You word blurted every feeling you had and I just didn't tell you how I felt. When I did, you fucked Sonny because of a misunderstanding. That hurt. But I survived. Came back to town and we were best friends again. The feelings never fully died, but I definitely loved Sam too, still love her to an extent. I just, I don't know anymore what to do to cause the least amount of pain."

"That was emotional, Mr. Morgan," the blonde smiles at his friend. "Maybe you're not stone cold anymore."

He just rolls his eyes and smiles at his friend who's distracting herself. "If you can hide a feeling, anything's possible."

"That felt personal," she jokes. "But where does this leave us? I mean, we both have feelings for each other, but I just so happen to be married to your boss and second closest friend. And you just got out of a long term relationship."

"Absolutely no clue. You're with Sonny, I'm single, and Sam's definitely about to tell him what happened here," Jason sighs. "God, our lives are complicated."

"Seems like my sneaking around plan won't work. Damn. How about my better plan, one where we figure out what we are to each other first," she smiles at him.

"That's somehow even more complicated," he sighs.

"Do you want to explain it to Sonny that we're unlabeled or something?" Carly raises an eyebrow at the man she knows so well. "Exactly. You don't. I don't either but I guess we've got to go with my plan."

"The plan that also involved Sam, the scorned woman, not telling him? Good luck with that," he chuckles, thinking deeply.

The only thing that pulls him out of his thoughts is the sudden feeling of her lips on his. They pull away when he registers what's happening and he looks at her, confused. "What the hell just happened?"

"I kissed you, genius," she smiles at him. "And you didn't kiss back."

"I was thinking," he defends himself. She cocks an eyebrow and he rolls his eyes. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

"No need to be so formal," she smirks and they kiss.

Conveniently, Sonny shows up right then.

To be continued

.-. whY-