eve, after the fall (auguste rodin; bronze, 1883)
Mark Twain, The Diaries of Adam and Eve // Hozier, From Eden // Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber // Frank Bidart, The War of Vaslav Nijinsky // Eagles, The Last Resort // Anne Sexton, Words for Dr. Y
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Maybe we don't bear the unbearable. Maybe
we die with it. And in our place some larger,
less impatient shape may then be granted space
but I don't want it. I want my mother.
Sometimes beside her in the bed while trying
to tell her I'm okay, I start to weep.
She watches me. Her eyes are distant now,
gone deep inside some gravely gentle place
where, with a stranger's curiosity, she seems to ask
What can I do with your sadness? She has no use for it.
We will lose what we love, and our suffering
is useless, and by dusk all the crickets will thrum
their one absence of warning. That trace of light
against the hills will spread through trees, undo
the ends of evergreen, then fall to fields. It will not hold.
As if it means to urge us, look. Love's body must
be manifold. Black cricket shell, new summer air,
late light. The landscape's all ablaze
with gentle strangers. Look. We're standing in a field.
-- From "On Joy", Taije Silverman
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What is lost stays lost by cavendishbutterfly
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: T
Word Count: 456
Sometimes Harry leaves the castle in the middle of the night, and Draco follows him.
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#febficaday2 - Day 12 (Angst)
Author: sarewolf
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 40,459
Type: Raising Harry AU
Summary: “What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry.
“Remus...” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.”
A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”
Warnings: discussion of child abuse, PTSD response, drug use, problematic coping mechanisms, gore, self harm, detailed character death (not a main character), discussion of war, past violence, past suicidal thoughts
Comments: It’s quite impressive when a fic is able to shatter me into a million sobbing pieces every single chapter and still have me yearning for more. A stunning, but almost excruciatingly raw, look at grief, trauma, and healing. If you like your angst with a heaping side of extra angst, plus a happy ending, this one’s for you.
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motherhood.
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Happy New Year! My yearly Davesprite is here to usher in 2024... it's been a quite the 2023! This also marks 10 years since I started this tradition... yippee!!!
I made the piece this year listening to @toontitsgoopbrain's davesprite tracks (give them a listen they're really good!)
2023 has been on the quieter side for me, nonetheless I'm overwhelmed by the support I've had during it anyways. Thanks to everyone who stuck around!
2023 | 2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014
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“Oberyn wanted vengeance for Elia. Now the three of you want vengeance for him. I have four daughters, I remind you. Your sisters. […] If you should die, must El and Obella seek vengeance for you, then Dorea and Loree for them? Is that how it goes, round and round forever? I ask again, where does it end?��� Ellaria Sand laid her hand on the Mountain’s head. “I saw your father die. Here is his killer. Can I take a skull to bed with me, to give me comfort in the night? Will it make me laugh, write me songs, care for me when I am old and sick?” - A Dance with Dragons, The Watcher
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one of the things i like most about tdp is how it situates all of its characters in the cycle, which is to say: suffering, trauma, grief, and flawed world views inform all of them, but that never justifies any of their actions that cause suffering. claudia can have good reasons for working to free aaravos and to hate rayla, particularly after s5, but that doesn't mean her tricking rayla about the coins wasn't cruel. callum can be working to free the man who murdered his father because he's rayla's father, and be eager/excited about helping her while also being angry with runaan. ezran can be a child king who is mature and doing his best to move on while also struggling when that grief seems insurmountable. runaan can be the cause of that pain and be held accountable but also given the chance to grow and learn and change, and he doesn't deserve to suffer even if he doesn't take that chance. soren can do the right thing in killing his father to save ezran and still feel conflicted and relieved and angry about it. they all have a point. they're all emotionally grounded. that's what makes the hurt real. that's why the cycle needs breaking
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"how did the guy with no friends win" is fucking me up because. that's the point. that's the truth that lies at the centre of the life series. if you want to win, you can't let yourself get too attached to anyone, because you'll just have to kill them anyway. that's the pact that was made in the very first season in a bloody circle on the sand. you can't bring anyone with you, not unless you want to look in their eyes and see the betrayal - or, perhaps worse, understanding - there when you kill them. nobody wins the life series with friends. nobody wins the life series.
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The trouble with you humans is that you are so concerned with staying afloat. Go ahead, be gouged open by love. Gulp that saltwater, sink beneath the waves. You’re not a boat, you can go under and come up again, with those big old lungs of yours, those hard kicking legs.
And your heart, she said, that gargantuan ark, that floating hotel. Call it Unsinkable, though it is sinkable. Embark, embark.
There are enough ballrooms in you to dance with everyone you’ll ever love.
That’s what the Titanic told me this morning, me, lying next to her on the ocean floor.
There are enough ballrooms in you.
-- From "On This the 100th Anniversary of the Sinking of the Titanic, We Reconsider the Buoyancy of the Human Heart", by Laura Lamb Brown-Lavolie
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