#Thems bois smacks

[clownsuu]

Should I eat a whole lemon?

Eated lemon

[officious-seeing-eye-bitch]

So when Visenya schemes to get her son on the throne instead of a woman it's Chad and based but when Alicent does it suddenly it's a problem huh

[ramdotexe]

snork mimimimimi

[hatake]

love how after winning sanji goes back to his gfs and zoro also goes back to his gf

[theworstfangirl]

The fact that I can name three different near-apocalypses in Twisted Wonderland all caused by teenage mages says so much about these boys and their mental stability.

Why does no one ever consider therapy?

[fisheito]

@trainto1925 coincidentally i have just arrived

The soft ones ARE choosing violence 🥰

[fabuloustrash05]

“The 2012 turtles were abusive towards 2012 Mikey!!”

Tell me you’re an only child without tell me you’re an only child.

[hystericwaterbender]

Just finished rewatching howl's moving castle for the 646744 time and now i want a version of the story where instead of cursed-to-be-old sophie a real 70-year old grandma finds the castle and goes "hell naw" and starts cleaning.

[piranha-shan]

Theron is the kind of guy to learn how to play guitar to try to impress his crush.

[torra-and-the-toons]

B-Battle Ready Armor...

[pied-piper-pluto]

freiren sounds so up my alley and the one thing that's holding me back from watching it is that I hate the costume designs.... this is not a freiren-exclusive problem i feel that way about most fantasy anime these days it just bothers me with freiren because otherwise i Want to watch it

[sparring-spirals]

F.C.G and Chetney being stuck in mind realm with Otohan is extremely, supremely bad, but its also a little funny that she got the two members of the party with built in "killer berserk mode if too much damage taken" settings. Like its. Bad™. But it also had the slimmest potential of being. Kind of hilarious.

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Nina! What kind of movies do Ravenstan and Jerseykyle like to watch? ^^

OOOOOOOH! so as with everything, i Definitely think jersey is a snob. movies are no exception. also he does not call movies 'movies', he 100% is annoying and pretentious as fuck and uses 'film' or 'cinema'. also speaking of being pretentious, annoying and the word 'cinema', i think ravesey's dynamic is super funny for a lot of reasons but in this case, it's funny to me bc when style watches movies together, kyle says shit like 'y'know i like the plot progression of the film, but i'm not a big fan of the cinema topography."

— and stan trying to be big brain is like "ya! i also hate the cinnamontophography." <3 skdhsldsk bless him and kyle is abt to correct him bc ohhh my fucking god, but lowkey he tried his best and that was very cute, so kyle just kisses him on the cheek, squeezes his shoulder, stifles a laugh and is like "well, i guess you're the expert, cinnamon boy." <3 jersey stop being Sweet and Lovely!!!

anyways, jersey is giving me the energy of those kids in elementary school that adults say have an 'old soul' and likes really complex abstract movies, foreign films in black and white that play at some tiny theater for $5 on fridays, which, kyle is obviously a homebody and hates other people, but when he needs air or is feeling briefly zesty/willing to endure human beings enough to see a movie ( which, granted, it's def just him and the old ass man/annoying indie college student that run the place shooting the shit in there ), he will...make the trip out there and buy a pack of skittles and a sparkling ice ( okay, i had an anon say that kyle probably drinks those sparkling ice drinks and i fucking cried bc he DEFINETELY does and it's def the black cherry flavor bc kyle is cherry coded, however he will also accept the raspberry one or the fruit punch in a punch ) and ofc only eat the red skittles, smh.

i do think he still likes all the regular kyle scifi movies/high fantasy movies, stuff with dystopian societies/political uprisings ( him & stan have overlap there and obvi some high fantasy/scifi stuff but kyle has to explain a lot of it, kyle do be mansplaining shit but its okay because stan loves the sound of his voice <3 gay ) specifically things with deep complex lore, movies with puzzles/things that need to be solved, def watched interstellar a couple times and like, donnie darko bc of all the time lore ( that movie does freak him out btw, he was clenching hard the first time he watched it because he thought that the fucking rabbit dude was gonna kill everyone and it was gonna turn into a horror movie which...more on that subject l8r )

and i bet you he says his fav movie is some big brain movie in like swedish, black and white, is all philisophical and pretentious and deep but tbh...? i think jersey's favorite movies are specifically old romance movies like fkn casablanca, gone with the wind type stuff. yes, kyle being a secret romantic boy is very cute to me, i fucking love him so much, he is secretly v sentimental and warm.

if you've seen gossip girl, jersey is a blair waldorf variant

( which, okay sidebar for nina lore but i watched a fuck ton of gossip girl growing up and i had such a fat crush on serena van der woodsen, like not even blake lively, specifically serena van der woodsen like i have mental problems, i would not fumble her, fuck you so much, dan humphrey, serena please ONE CHANCE!!!!!! )

and i think he fucks very heavy with audrey hepburn and her movies, like roman holiday, sabrina, okay my fair lady is so jersey coded bc of his new jersey slaughterhouse accent/its a musical and he is a dork, he does like musicals so much buuuut i think his favorite movie is my favorite movie which is...breakfast at tiffany's. WHICH???

okay, if you think about it is super interesting given stan's previous line of work ( which okay, i know he wasn't really doing anything and just sort of enduring it to be able to sing, but being trapped in that uncomfortable, hypersexual environment and being constantly percieved & being constantly obsessed over. )

he do be skipping over the all the really insensitive shit w/ the overblown racist asian caricature of holly's neighbor ( that man is too loud anyways he's like please shut up, his ears are sensitive...both to sound and just in general, fml there's a nsfw headcannon abt that ) but idk all the romantic stuff is very cute, he likes the cinnamontophography, all of holly's stuff about getting over her fear of commitment, the fashion statements...chef's kiss to him.

i think he also fucks secretly with pride and prejudice like pep!kyle wHERE IS THE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE THEMED MARRIAGE PROPOSAL STAN I'M WAITING!!!! kyle can quote it line for line, i think he likes when they're set in victorian periods like omg i bet you he watched bridgerton and was obsessed lmaooo, all the adpations of emma jane austen movies, atonement...stuff like that. he does make stan watch them with him sometimes and stan is so hopeless his adhd is so bad he needs ACTION also all the shakespeare-y speak stresses him out so bad, he asks so many questions and can't sit still.

he does...sigh, strategically time makeout sessions In The Middle Of Movies when he gets bored, kyle is like stanley marsh that is not going to work...it does...work everytime skdhshds speaking of that nsfw hc, kyle's neck and ears are hella sensitive so if you like drag ur teeth along his ear or start trailing kisses down his neck, his mind goes completely blank, stan does it when kyle's yelling at him about stuff all the time, kyle gets so mad at him later...and i do mean later because he is like i have to do something first ( hint: it's stan, lmao )

SPEAKING OF STAN!!!!! in vein of them being opposites attract kings, stan is naught an old soul ( i mean, in terms of music, he is sorta vintage ) and fucks very heavy with new movies. he really likes actiony stuff, lots of explosions and shit, very loud, very fast-paced. i feel like he likes superhero movies, like part of the stan name is because he was like eight and thought stan lee was a GENIUS. he watched into the spiderverse like...40 times. he has mental problems. stan likes cars, he does like the fast and furious movies, smh.

i think he...Specifically likes horror movies, though? because he is a spooky ooky edgy boy halloween KING? they just scratch an itch in his brain and he is engaged the entire time because there is either constant suspense or crazy amounts of action and running around. KYLE HATES IT, BTW!!!! kyle is a scaredy cat. like he is the scariest motherfucker on planet earth in person, but the silences and shit freak him out so much, he is not good with jump scares, he is behind his hands, in stan's lap, swearing soooo much like stanstanstan what the fuck I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT WAS THE INVISIBLE MAN, I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF, HOLY SHIT DID THAT JUST mOVE??? stan is deeply amused and thinks it is adorable, so he does subject kyle to stan spooky scary movie hour sometimes just to hold him...gaaaaay! idk which one is his favorite i have to get back to you on that. if you have suggestions like me know haha i am also...a scaredy cat.

a couple last things on stan and horror movies though is, i feel like that might be a contreversial take because stan doesn't like blood, but i think the scenarios being fake and because he works with so much fake blood doing whore-ror crimson dawn music videos, he just knows what it looks like and can tell hella quick. if he knows it's not real, it does not freak him out. i think he only thing he doesn't like is animals being killed...like people are fine??? help??? oh my god??? but not dogs or anything. he will cry and cower.

i also think that...weirdly...it combats his ptsd? specfifically final girl type movies where someone lives and kills the antagonist in a horror movie because it's very...relevant to him and reminds him that you can survive something horrible and be okay. and again, even when it's a total wipeout and not a happy ending, the catharsis of being scared and surprised is relaxing to him and knowing scary things can happen and be fake/everyday is not war or hell is good for him. he does avoid specifically triggering things with farms or fire? unless there is something where setting something on fire as a final girl/boy saves the town or everyone because...again...relevant and healing.

idk...complicated, but we get my gist, yeah?

i think they do a movie night once a week or something and they alternate choosing...they also complain bc their movie tastes are so different but love conquers all lmao, and they can always watch lotr and star wars and stuff. I THINK WHEN THEY'RE BEING CUTE THEY WATCH STUDIO GHIBLI MOVIES AND STUFF??? SO CUTE OMG. speaking of cartoons and anime adjacent things...stan do be making kyle watch stanime...kyle is in hell...jersey is like why are there so many boobs, why are they screaming, why are there 1000 episodes, he does also strategically plan makeout sessions ( i am so sorry it doesn't always work, stans boyfail cringe energy is so strong it's so awful, kyle is like literally on top of him and is like ;) if you turn the tv off, i can turn something else on and stan is like baby, you are blocking the epic battle scene, he's about to charge up his attack!!! KHDLSK I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN KYLE IS GONNA KILL HIM )

they do watch a lot of tv shows together, kyle's comfort television shows are still say yes to the dress and masterchef/gordon ramsey food network cooking competition type stuff — bc i'm watching next level chef, they are also watching next level chef and they scream so much like bRO HE'S GONNA MISS THE PLATFORM WHAT THE FUCK WHAT IS HE DOING!!!! it's so funny

speaking of say yes to the dress tho and stuff like that when kyle comes in all busted up from his bar fight and stan's patching it up, towards the end of that interaction right before they get back together, kyle is like "did you watch the new one?" and stan's like "no. i couldn't watch it without you. & even if i could, i wouldn't bc i don't know, i just didn't want to think about people being in..."

and kyle just takes a deep, steep breath and is like...

"...love."

and stan nods.

fuck my life.

ANYWAYS! there you go!

-uncle nina, butcherer of headcannons

[qbert-curse]

I really should've guessed that a game about a fox family trying to survive the end of times and a game where your job is to make friends with spirits before they pass on were gonna get me real emotional

Anyways it's crying over video games hour

[howdoyousleep3]

tonight i can’t stop thinking about a ballsy, bratty, huffy baby bucky who damn near outright refuses to call steve Daddy and how much his baby’s defiance digs under steve’s skin, so much so he has to do something about it 😤😩🫣

[blackjackkent]

OK. So, obviously that was a pretty upsetting experience for Hector, but it does finish up (as near as I can tell) everything we can do on the main floor of Moonrise Towers, so it's time to go upstairs and see what Z'rell wants to talk to us about.

This is a bit nervewracking because we overheard some of the Absolute guards talking about how Z'rell has been summoning a lot of True Souls up to her office lately, and none of them have come back down. So there's reason to believe this might be a dangerous prospect.

(Amusingly - mechanically, Hector still has a dislocated shoulder; from a story perspective I assumed Shadowheart probably healed it up already but I can't figure out how to make it go away in-game without a long rest so it's just kind of there for right now.)

Going upstairs, we find Z'rell setting guards around the door to the roof, where apparently General Thorm is doing some meditative shit or other.

"Excellent timing, True Soul."

She meets Hector's gaze with a casual smirk. There's an air of cool violence about her that is quite unsettling; even more than many of the cultists here, she seems as if she would be happy to lash out at him given half a chance.

"The goblins," she goes on eagerly. "Tell me how they suffered - or better yet, show me."

Narrator: Her mind enters yours abruptly, flickering across your memories in a blaze of excitement. She sees the goblins walking free, and a burning rage fans across your mind like wildfire.

Inwardly, Hector braces himself. He knew this was coming. The prisoners he released - he'll have to account for them somehow. He somehow didn't fully expect, though, quite the extent to which Z'rell's expression has hardened with pure fury at being denied the moment of sadism.

"Explain yourself!" she snaps.

Hector is very tired and really not in the mood to deal with someone who takes pleasure in others' pain to that degree - but the cover must be maintained. So with an effort of will, he remains perfectly still and resists the urge to fidget under her stare. [PERSUASION] "They won't get far," he says, affecting an air of casual disinterest. "Let the curse take them, and save us the job of cleaning up their innards."

A pause. The disciple sneers. "Very pragmatic. But very boring."

Hector starts to relax, seeing that his story has been accepted, but the ordeal is not yet over. "Let's see if there's *anything* interesting in that brain of yours."

Before Hector can fully register what she means, she is inside his mind.

Narrator: She parts the folds of your mind again, touching your wants and hopes. Tasting them. Every emotion soaks into her mind's palate, but there is purpose to her exploration - she is searching for proof of your faith.

Hector shudders at the feeling of her slipping through his thoughts. It's a tremendous violation that these people do so casually, but he cannot show his distaste without giving away the flimsy disguise that is all that keeps them safe here.

And proof of his faith...she will find plenty of proof there, but not the faith she wants. If she is allowed to explore too long, she will find his faith in Selune, as bright as the moonlight that still exists somewhere beyond this dark and awful place.

Focus. Show her only what you want her to see.

[MONK] Empty your mind. Show her a perfect, harmonious soul.

No sign of Selune within him. But not quite deception - no sign of the Absolute either. Balance. Serenity. Peace.

"When you are in harmony, you need fear nothing at all," one of the other monks told him once, early in his training. "For then your path will be unburdened by those who would see you unbalanced."

Narrator: You feel her grasp within your thoughts for familiar, roiling zealotry. It finds no purchase.

Z'rell blinks, drawing back; he feels her grip withdraw from within his mind and allows himself to tremble inwardly with relief. He feels dirty, marred by this contact, and wishes he could express the disgust that he feels.

"Simply...void," she murmurs, and she sounds legitimately perplexed, the sadistic glee for a moment gone in favor of simple confusion. "Why would you not embrace her? Worship her?"

A pause, and then she goes on, with renewed energy, "I have already been blessed to stand in Her presence. It was bliss." She stabs a finger towards his chest. "She gave me *everything* I wanted."

It's almost accusing, the way she looks at him. The calm and serenity that he showed her was not enough. She wants to see him caught in the web and does not understand the purpose of resistance.

"Everything?" Hector asks carefully. "What exactly do you want?" All the better to keep the conversation off of him and on her as much as possible - both for information and to avoid those questing fingers through his mind again.

Her eyes brighten with eager, hungry zealotry. "To take without asking, to feel without doubting, and to kill without consequence. In a word - freedom."

Hector swallows uncomfortably. He had expected at least a veneer of some more palatable assertion - unity or something like that. Not this unbridled cruelty without measure, completely unmasked.

"That's a little abstract," he says vaguely, trying to maintain his sense of calm with a little more effort now. "Show me something real."

Her eyes light as if she has never received a happier request.

"Oh, why not? What's the point in power if you don't get to have a little fun every now and again?" There is a brief moment in which Hector has time to realize that he made a grave mistake by phrasing his comment the way he did. Then she claps her hands together and a flash of light flickers between them.

"She gave me the power to cut the thread of life with a thought..." she murmurs, rapturous - and without warning, without even a sound, the ogre standing behind her throws her head back...and dies, blood spurting from every orifice of her face.

Hector stares down at the corpse, then back up at Z'rell wordlessly. He hopes his stunned silence will be taken for awe, rather than the fact that he is feeling suddenly sick to his stomach.

Thorm invulnerable. This woman killing with a snap of her fingers. How do we fight a force like this? How is it possible?

To his muted relief, Z'rell smiles.

"But I can caress as well as cut," she murmurs with a horrible sort of sweetness. "That's why you should stay on my good side." She reaches out, taps a clawed finger against his cheek. "And the best way to do that is to serve General Thorm. I have a mission for you."

All Hector wants to do is run from the room and never see this woman, or Thorm, or any of these people ever again. But that choice is not on the table. He focuses for a moment on Karlach's presence at his side, his other companions behind him. The dream guardian whispers in his mind, "That's it - play along. The closer you can get to the General, the closer you'll be to the answers you seek."

Calm. Find the center, two beats to the breath. He inhales slowly, lets it out heavily. "I live to serve," he says evenly. "What do I need to do?"

"There is a relic that General Thorm requires," Z'rell says briskly, all business now. "He sent his most trusted advisor, Disciple Balthazar, to retrieve it. The relic is beneath the Thorm family mausoleum. That is where you will find Balthazar. But we have lost contact with him - go there, aid Balthazar if you can, and bring the relic home."

Ah. He feels on slightly firmer ground now; they know of Balthazar already - and, in fact, already agreed to help him. "What exactly was this relic he was sent to retrieve?" Hector asks curiously, hoping to draw from her some of the answers he was not able to get from the necromancer.

"It is something that General Thorm desires, and that he ordered us to retrieve," she says curtly. "That is all you need know."

Narrator: [INSIGHT] She's suddenly nervous - on edge. Talking about the relic makes her anxious.

Hector hesitates - then presses. There will never be a better time than this to ask. [PERSUASION] "Talking of this relic makes you anxious," he says carefully. "Why is that?"

She too hesitates - and when she speaks again it is with more sincerity than he has seen from her thus far. "I am in awe of the power the relic must hold to be of such importance," she admits. "General Thorm will not leave Moonrise without it."

Hector senses a stir of unease through his companions. He shares it. What lies unsaid in Z'rell's words is that when the relic is found, Thorm will have no reason to stay at Moonrise. And the only possible reason for that...is that he will be ready to move on Baldur's Gate.

"I already met Balthazar," Hector says.

Her eyes flash. "Then he must have failed to make the urgency of his mission clear. I do not want to see you again until the relic is secure at Moonrise."

Well, thinks Hector, I don't want to see you again ever, so we're at least agreed on that.