#They're going to fight gabriel together

[kasienda]

A Miraculous Reveal - Representation

Spoilers for Representation (5x24) Link to Ao3

...

Chat Noir swings wildly at the akuma who is his father. Adrien is almost glad Ladybug has yet to show up. He doesn’t have a plan, he almost doesn’t want to fix this one. It just feels good to lash out, to hurt this man and send him crashing to the ground, for every blow to make solid contact against the man who seems bent on stealing every good thing in his life. 

As Chat Noir, he doesn’t have to listen to his father. He can resist, he can fight. He can cataclysm anything that stands in his way as many times as he needs to! 

He can do all the things he can’t do as Adrien. 

Why can’t he fight as Adrien?!

“I feel sorry for your son!” 

“Don’t be. He’s very happy,” Nightormentor replies.  

Adrien is thrown by the statement. Was his father referring to the fact that he’s in love with Marinette, or does he actually think Adrien is happy locked away in some tower with an arranged relationship not of his own choosing a five hundred kilometers away from the most important person in his life. 

The akuma broke past his defenses, knocking the wind from his chest. He coughs as he inhales the sparkling dust of his father’s power. The magic settles around him, clinging to his eyes and throat. Reality dissolves around him.

Everything is silent like his ears are clogged with cotton. He turns frantically in every direction. Everything is destroyed. The moon split in half, every building a crumbled skeleton of what it once was. Human-sized statues made of ash surround him as far as his eyes can see. 

He looks down, and Marinette is there in his arms, as black as his cataclysmic power. He jerks backwards and her form dissolves into ash and dust in his arms. 

“What happened?!” he demands, trying to push back his rising panic. Where’s the akuma? There had to be an akuma somewhere to have caused all of this. 

“The same thing that always happens when a child can’t control their anger.” It’s the same voice. The deep foreboding voice that Adrien can never block out, can never escape.  

He did this? No! 

“No! It’s not real!” he screams, clutching his head.

Next thing he knows, Kim’s hovering over him. “You okay, there buddy? Because we could really use your help right now.” 

But Adrien isn’t sure how much help he can be. He’s never stood up to his father and won.

He doesn’t include this time as an exception even when Nightormentor’s staff dissolves under his cataclysm because it was The Resistance that defeated this akuma. 

Not Chat Noir. 

He flies to Marinette’s balcony as soon as it’s safe to do so, letting his transformation fall the moment almost the moment he lands. He’s not sure what he wants to say to her, but he needs to see her. Just once if not every day.

He’s about to knock on her skylight when the nightmare strikes a second time. 

He clutches his head and falls onto his knees as the vision sweeps through him again.

“No,” he sobs. “It’s just a nightmare. It’s not real! I would never do this!” he insists.

Plagg purring at the crook of his neck brings him back to himself once again. 

“Plagg! I don’t know what to do. I miss Marinette so much even though it hasn’t even been a day. But I can’t disobey him. And I’m also scared of putting her in danger. I could—“ he clutches his hand into a fist, imagining the power of cataclysm crackling at his fingertips. “—destroy everything.” 

“Adrien, you've just come into your own as the holder of destruction!” Plagg says. “I know you will find a way to break free of your chains. All of them.” 

Adrien shakes his head. How can he do that when he can’t even say the word no to his father, let alone actually defy his orders? 

It all feels so impossible. 

The trapdoor window to Marinette’s room opens. 

He tenses, still uncertain what he wants to say. He shouldn’t have come here. As much as he wants to see her — needs to see her, he can’t protect her, he can’t explain how he’s there without putting her in danger. 

She startles when she sees him, then approaches him slowly. 

“Adrien?”

She’s wearing a flowing white dress with intricate pink flowered embroidery that he’s certain she hand-stitched herself. Her eyes are puffy, red, and underlined with dark streaks of mascara running down her cheeks. 

It kills him that she’s been crying. He knows it’s his fault because he couldn’t say no to his father. It’s just another example of his weakness, of his selfishness that he wants her love anyway even though she deserves someone who can stand up for her.

In spite of himself, he reaches out for her. She takes his hand, and he pulls her against him, feeling shaky. He buries his head into her shoulder.

“Is it really you?” she asks. 

“Who else would I be?” he asks absently. 

“Felix.” 

He tenses and pulls away, gripping her at the elbows tightly, searching her face for jest and finding none. “What did he do?”

She waves away his concern. “He led me on a wild goose chase through the city. But in the end he only told me a story.”

“A story?” he repeats, confused. “What story? Why?” 

Marinette put a hand on his chest. “Adrien, take a breath.” 

He does as she says, feeling some of the tension within him bleed out. It always does when he’s in her arms. An experience he’s had on precious few occasions. If only he realized his feelings for her sooner. 

“I’m really happy to see you,” he whispers.

“Me too,” she says back, leaning her head onto his chest. “I feel like I’ve been looking for you all night. How are you here?” 

He tenses all over again, unsure of how to answer that question. He knows what he wants to tell her. The truth, and all of it! But the vision of Marinette’s ashen form cradled in his arms flies through his head and he’s terrified.

It’s just a dream, a nightmare sent to him by an akuma. It wasn’t real. That wasn’t going to happen. He was careful. He would never hurt her. 

He would never hurt her.

“Are you okay?” she asks when he doesn’t answer her question. 

He shakes his head, tears falling down his face of their own volition. 

She squeezes his hand. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together,” she promises.

And some part of him melts. She really believes that, but he can’t see any way to win. 

Even Chat Noir couldn’t stand up to Nightormentor. Not on his own.  

“My father wants me to stay in London. He wants to control every aspect of my life. And I tried for so long to earn his admiration and approval, but it’s impossible. And what has it ever gotten me? It’s never enough and I can’t do it anymore. I can’t.” 

Her grip tightens around his hand. “Shhh, it’s okay.” 

“But I can’t get away. It’s like, the second he’s in the room, I can’t… I can’t disobey him, Marinette. I don’t know why. I try, I think I’m going to, and then I just do what he wants anyway. I’m sorry that I’m so weak.” 

Tears break past his battered defenses and he drops his head into his knees. He’s shaking so hard, but Marinette never lets go. If anything, she clings to him harder. 

“Adrien, does he… does he have a ring that he always wears?”

He glances up, completely thrown by the random question. “Uh, yes. He has his and my mother’s wedding ring. Nathalie has been wearing the other. Why?” 

“The story. The story Felix told me! He said that the two princesses gave birth to two boys who were as similar as their mothers. You and Felix. Felix – he was controlled by his father all his life through a ring, and he was only able to break free once his father died and he had the ring for himself. It sounds like it’s the same for you.”

Adrien blinks several times, his brain trying to understand what she’s saying. 

Then the tears come back full strength, and he’s trembling like an earthquake. 

“Adrien?”

But he’s crying in relief. He wasn’t weak and spineless. He was literally being controlled like a puppet on strings. 

And then he was angry. 

He looks up into Marinette’s concerned crystal blue eyes that seem to pierce straight through him. “I don’t understand. How?” 

Her hands tighten around his and his clings to the lifeline that she’s providing. He fears that he’s weighing her down, that he can never give her everything she deserves, especially if he literally can’t go against his father.

“Felix said his mother and yours were infertile. They tried and tried to have babies, and they never could.” 

Adrien stares at her. This was new information. Why had Felix told Marinette all of this? And not him? 

“So your parents found and used the peacock miraculous–” 

He hissed in a breath.

“--and their desire to have a child to create a pregnancy.” 

“So I’m… I’m… some kind of sentimonster?” 

She shakes her head violently. Her hands on either side of his face. “No, you are not a monster. You are the kindest, most beautiful person I have ever met.” 

He held her hands and wrists against his face, needing to feel her holding him as his stomach dropped. 

“But he can literally control me?” 

She nods. “I think so. Felix asked me for help. He has his ring, and Kagami has hers.” 

“Kagami too?” he whispers.

She nods again. 

Kagami - forceful, ever confident, and never-hesitate-Kagami who he looked up to - could be controlled with a ring.

He could be controlled with a ring, snapped out of existence with the peacock miraculous. 

No wonder Felix had been willing to trade all the other miraculouses for it. 

He can’t breathe. 

The vision of a shattered moon on a red sky, surrounded by destruction and decay flashes through his mind’s eye again. A new dark heavy presence stands behind him, controlling every movement, directing his miraculous powers against everything Chat Noir is supposed to protect, against everything that he loves.

The nightmare suddenly feels all too possible. 

If his father ever learns his identity, he can make Adrien destroy anything his father disapproves of. 

Like Marinette. 

He scuttles backward from her, his back crashing against the railing of her balcony. 

“Adrien! What’s wrong?” Marinette asks, standing over him like an avenging angel. She reaches out to hold him, but he holds a hand out and shakes his head. She stops, but tears are falling silently down her cheeks. Her dress is fluttering around her, and strands of her hair have fallen from her updo, framing her face. Her eyes are like shining lights in his darkness. 

God, she’s so amazing, so strong. 

And he can’t ever be what she deserves. Not when he isn’t his own person.

He buries his eyes under his fists. The rest of him crumples like tissue paper. She wraps around him like a warm blanket on the coldest of nights, and he lets himself fall into warmth and love. This might have to be the last time, so it will have to last him forever.

“I love you,” he says through his devastation. “So much.”

“I love you, too. Talk to me please.” 

He untangles himself from her embrace and struggles to collect himself. It shouldn’t be that hard. He’s done it so many times before. 

“Marinette,” he starts, slipping his miraculous from his finger with a broken sob. It feels like he’s tearing off a limb, but he would do anything for her. He opens her palm, places the ring in her grasp, and closes her fingers around it.  “You have to take this from me, keep it safe so I can’t ever hurt anyone, so I can never hurt you.”

She looks down into her hand, her eyes frozen on the now-black ring in her hand. Her gaze darts up to his face, and then back down to the ring.

“You’re Chat Noir,” she breathes. 

“I’m Chat Noir,” he confirms. “I was going to use it to come visit you, so we could stay together even if I was exiled to London. I figured I had to come back for akumas anyway, but… but if my father can literally control me, I can’t keep it. He could discover it, take it, and force me to betray Ladybug and everyone I love. I can’t go through that! Will you please keep it safe for me?.

“No!” she cries, trying to shove the ring back towards him. “You can’t give this up!” she insists. “You can’t!”

He caresses the side of her tear-streaked face, and smiles softly. “I need you to take this for me, Marinette. There’s no one I love or trust more than you.”

Her fist pounds on his chest. He grabs her arm and pulls her against him. 

“Please?”

She shakes her head. “No, you don’t understand. I need you.” 

“I’m sorry. I wish there was a way for us to be together, but if he ever found out–”

“He won’t!” 

“Marinette, he could literally just order me to reveal all my secrets and it’d be done. He could order me to give him my miraculous. He can’t have it. Not ever.”

Her eyes well with tears. He kisses the top of her head. 

“What about Ladybug?!” she demands. 

“I think I’m only a liability to her right now. I’m a sentimonster. You’ll–” 

“You’re not a monster!” Her voice is shrill. 

He smiles again, feeling strangely at peace. “You’ll be an amazing partner to Ladybug in my stead.” 

“No! I can’t take this from you. It’s yours! It’s your freedom! And I can’t be Ladybug’s partner anyway.”

“Of course you can!” he reassures. “I remember Multimouse. You had every miraculous in the box. You were amazing! You could use any of them.”

She shakes her head, tears pouring from her eyes.  

“Marinette,” he begs. “Please!” 

“I can’t be Ladybug’s partner,” she says again, her voice suddenly clear and firm. She looks up at him, and he can’t breathe at the depth in her swirling blue eyes. “She needs you. I need you.” 

His mind is swirling, on the precipice of something grand, he knows it, but he can’t grasp onto it. 

“Tikki, spots on,” she whispers. And in a sparkling wave of pink light, Marinette is gone, transformed and it’s his partner sitting before him with tears in her eyes. “Please Chaton,” she begs. “I have told you over and over, I can’t do this without you. You are irreplaceable. You are perfect. I will never ever abandon you. Please, please don’t abandon me.” 

He can’t move, he can’t speak. 

She takes up his hand, and holds up the ring, but she pauses her eyes on his, waiting for his permission. 

“I don’t want to be turned against you,” he says weakly. 

“Whatever he makes you do,” she snarls, “you will never actually be against me. You will fight him, I will fight for you. And neither of us will rest until you are free, truly and completely free. Please, please be my partner again.”

And he is already in love with her. He fell for Ladybug a long time ago, the day they met for a moment almost exactly like this one. He fell for Marinette more recently, slowly after another thousand instances of her standing her ground again and again. 

But in this moment, looking at her with determination and love shining from every pore, he falls in love with her all over again.

She can’t conceive of a battle that she can’t win no matter how much the deck is stacked against her. And really, he can’t conceive of a battle she can’t win either. Chat Noir has always had the front row seat to watching her come out on top again and again through creative genius, persistence, and a fierce determination to protect everyone she loves.

Her cause is right, and her sense of justice is stronger than her doubt, and her love is stronger than her fear.

And so he can’t deny her. With his lips stretched into a watery smile, he nods his permission. 

She slips the ring back onto his finger and it feels like coming home after being lost in a blizzard. 

Their arms are around each other in an instant, and he knows that as long as he has her, as long as she cares and believes in him, he will always fight anyone and everyone that stands against them. 

Even his father.  

And with her by his side, how can they ever lose? 

[inafever]

On how much Aziraphale has learned since season one:

This is about character development. Inside of a story, everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's meant to tell you something, to teach you or the character of your story, something.

So if the story continues and your character repeats the same mistakes again you know that they are bound to be doomed this time, and even worse the audience is going to certainly lose respect for them, cause they have made the same mistake twice, they haven't learned anything, they're gonna do it again another time, they don't deserve a happy ending. (yes I'm talking about good omens here) So you don't do that to a character that matters to you and you respect even the tiniest bit.

A Lot of us here are thinking that this is what has happened to Aziraphale's character at the end of season two, that he has done it again, repeated the same mistake again and has left Crowley to join heaven and it's been because of reasons like wanting to change Crowley (not true, see this post), still believing in heaven's goodness (not true at all), not being on the same page with Crowley (I'm gonna talk about this one especially in this post) and such likes. But these are the things he should've known better about after 6000 years and all the events that we've learnt about especially throughout season two. (It seems to be rather the whole point doesn't it?)

But we all seem to rather believe that he's made that mistake again nonetheless. so what we're doing here is trying to find reasons to justify the mistake and somehow make the reason behind the wrong actions something relatable to ourselves so we can forgive him when the time comes.

In fact I don't believe that he's made a mistake. for Aziraphale's character to be redeemable, what he has done, must be the only option that he's had for saving them both. I don't care what kind of situation could have resulted in him making this decision, but the only reason, the one and only reason, must be his love for Crowley. Otherwise it'll prove that he hasn't learnt his lessons or doesn't love Crowley enough to make a compromise, and in both cases, he's not worthy of love. He won't earn his happy ending by being tortured and feeling sorry and doing the apology dance for Crowley if he's hurt Crowley out of selfishness and stupidity again

But I'm sure he'll earn his happy ending and I'm sure he's learnt his lessons and it's too late for him to have unlearned them all in a matter of a few seconds. (He is an idiot but he's not stupid) and it's mostly because of this, that I believe the reason why he made that decision, must be very different from what it appears to be on the surface.

Anyway, this post is about what Aziraphale has learned and how he's changed.

I have made a post about their moments of conflict from both season one and two, it's here and you can look it up. This is where you begin to understand how Aziraphale has changed since season one because these are his dialogues after he's had a fight with Crowley in the bandstand, season one:

"even if I did know where the antichrist was I wouldn't tell you we're on opposite sides"

"friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you"

"there is no our side Crowley. Not anymore. It's over"

And then there's season two, when they disagree on what to do with Gabriel, Aziraphale is the one to point out that they both rely on the life they've built together

He's asking him to help him take care of Gabriel together and in response Crowley leaves

In the final scene he asks Crowley to come back to heaven

"work with me" "We can be together as Angels, Doing good" "I need you."

He says anything he can think of literally to convince him to stay with him and it doesn't work

We start from "we're not friends" and arrive at "work with me. we can be together"

Even if we don't know the reason why he's insisting on taking Crowley back to heaven with him, this is an Angel that has picked up the pace. That wants them to be an us. No matter what.

But these are only a few dialogues. I think there's more than that. I think the show in five and a half episodes (out of six) has tried its hardest to make the point quite clear about how Aziraphale feels about Crowley (or how strongly he feels those emotions). all through the way he looks at him and through his gestures and soft touches from time to time

I'm gonna make another post of those moments separately and I'm gonna link it to this when I do.

update: (here's the post. not just average moments of Aziraphale looking cute, it's something about the way he looks at him)

And I'd like to even compare those wishful glances to some of those from season one, but I can't, cause they are nonexistent in there.

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

Just been thinking about how when Aziraphale said that 'Nothing Lasts Forever' and Crowley immediately took that in a totally different way than Aziraphale intended.

The look of surprise and confusion that quickly becomes desperation that takes over Aziraphale face as Crowley walks away, he calls out to him, begs him to come back to him, and quickly covers it up with 'to heaven.'

he didn't mean them, he would never mean them.

(a lot more under the cut)

the places would change, the circumstances would change, the people and the play and the drama would change, they have always had different seasons of their relationship.

but them, together, as always been as constant as the tides and the phases of the moon, even if they get separated for a month or a decade or a century, they always come back together.

Also been thinking about how Crowley doesn't have faith in a lot of things (for obvious reasons), but the most heart breaking is how he has no faith that underneath it all, no matter what, Aziraphale loves him and wants to be with him, even though he has a mountain of evidence of it.

Its been pointed out that Aziraphale this whole season has seemed to be trying to get closer emotionally to Crowley, 'shooting his shot.'

'Its our car, its our bookshop, its our plan to save Gabriel, take my hand lets dance while you tell me what's wrong my dear boy.'

More than just an arrangement, more than fraternizing, more then just friendly banter over drinks and food, it always was more, but now they can act like it, Aziraphale is going for it in his own way.

and Aziraphale is so obviously frustrated during the fight that Crowley doesn't see that.

but come on, you can't blame Crowley at this point, Aziraphale is effectively asking Crowley to change literally everything about themselves and forget a millennia of trauma and anger and guilt and self-loathing.

It sure makes it seem like Aziraphales love is now suddenly conditional on them changing.

I don't think Aziraphale sees it that way though right?

He doesn't see it as 'I will love Crowley more if they are an angel.' he sees it as 'Crowley will be happier as an angel surely? They will also be safer with that designation.' and 'any sacrifice will be worth it if it means we'll finally be able to be safe and together.'

See, I don't think Aziraphale even wants Crowley to be an angel again.

I think he's trying to convince himself that he wants that, which is what makes the Metatron offering that in the first place so damn insidious.

I think in his heart of hearts, appointing Crowley to be an angel again is just as much of a sacrifice to him as leaving his beloved bookshop, leaving earth with all its wonderful music and color and life and stories and people, but what does that say about him as an angel?

Everyone can sneer and look down on him for having affections for a demon but there is some plausible deniability that its just bad circumstances, Crowley just happens to be a demon but he's really very lovely once you get to know him, in spite of it all.

But like...giving Aziraphale the opportunity to make Crowley an angel again and he doesn't want to take it because...he loves Crowley exactly the way he is? That he may have had a crush on the angel he was, but it was truly The Demon Crowley that he fell in love with.

I think Aziraphale is gonna need some time to get brave enough to say that with his whole chest (but dear lord will it be wonderful when he does.)

And the Metatron knows this, and he knows Crowley is exactly who he is supposed to be, and so The Metatron knows that Crowley could never ever say yes to going back, it goes against his very nature, he knew that Crowley would take it exactly the way he did.

(Ergo more evidence that splitting them up is the whole goal because they're just too powerful together.)

So, Aziraphale is stuck in the worst way I can imagine.

He's given the opportunity to have everything he should want, so he's trying to make the best of it even though it decidedly isn't what he wants, because its evident that the meddling from Heaven and Hell isn't going away, the Metatron is giving him the path of least resistance, isn't that going along with Heaven as far as he can?

Every word he says to Crowley about how wonderful it will be and how this is an amazing opportunity and we'll be together and we'll make better choices, we'll make a difference.

Its trying to convince himself just as much.

I think Aziraphale is terrified of going back to heaven by himself, but what other choice does he have? He's terrified about what will happen if he doesn't, and not because of any explicit threat by the Metatron, but what it would imply about him, if they knew exactly how he felt about Crowley, what might they do to them both?

and that's why the Kiss™ is so horrible and beautiful at the same time, its harsh and it looks like it hurts when their teeth bump together and it is so desperate, but Aziraphale still clings to Crowley, trembling and whimpering (jesus christ sheen...)

More than an expression of romantic love (because by God herself have they expressed it in so many ways for thousands of years,) its a plea to stay, choose this, choose us.

And Aziraphale wants to, but he can't, and its agony, but how could he explain that to Crowley when he barely understands it himself, he doesn't recognize what the Metatron has done.

That's why Aziraphale seems just as angry at the kiss as he is fucking devastated, its not a 'how dare you kiss me,' its an 'how dare you kiss me right now, in this moment, when if it had came earlier everything might have been different."

"How dare you kiss me now to just let me know everything I'm giving up, and not just because you wanted to."

"How dare you make this our first kiss."

Aziraphale doesn't see the Kiss™ as the Hail Mary that it is, he sees it as a spiteful bitter thing, something that he has been yearning for forever being twisted into something to hurt him, but I think he can see the sadness and fear in it too, so he forgives Crowley for it.

And of course, Crowley takes that to mean, "I forgive you for kissing me when you know that's not how I feel, for trying to manipulate me." or something to that effect, either way its enough for him to leave the conversation, nothing more to say.

I think Aziraphales next arc is going to be all about being open and honest and brave, which is in exact juxtaposition to the traits that made him grow closer to Crowley in the first place and that's what really fucking gets me.

From giving away the flaming sword, the entire damn arrangement, trying to thwart the apocalypse, to the very fact that he loves Crowley.

"I'm a fallen angel! I lied! To thwart the will of God!"

"Yeah, ya did, but I'm not gonna tell anybody, are you?"

"Then nothing has to change."

Except it did, and it does, if they are to get their happy ending in their cottage in the south downs.

anyway, yeah that's all i wanted to say i think, how was your guys week so far?

gif credit:

@starklystar @raggedy-spaceman @spooks-ez

(if i missed anyone or miscredited pls lmk!)

cont in reply (i like what i wrote here so i'm trying to keep track lol)

[shiplessoceans]

Good Omens S2 Episode 6 confession scene speculation:

Aziraphale didn't respond to the love confession from Crowley because he didn't realise it was one until Crowley mentioned the Nightingale and kissed him.

Allow me to explain.

---

Aziraphale interrupted Crowley to give him the news from Metatron, so when Crowley starts his spiel:

"We've been together a long time, I could always rely on you...we're a group....we've spent our existence pretending we aren't...if Gabriel and Beelzebub can go off together then we can...we don't need heaven/hell they're toxic...you and me whatya say?"

Aziraphale interprets everything Crowley is saying as his rebuttal to the 'good news', not a separate declaration of his feelings.

What Aziraphale just told him shaped Crowley's confession, instead of finally telling Aziraphale how he feels about him, he's now backed into a corner and trying to change Aziraphales mind. Offering to run off with him as the alternative to the Metatron's offer.

The repetition of the phrase: "go off together" from the bandstand fight in season one feels very intentional here. It would be easy for Aziraphale to think 'this is just Crowley's response when the divine plan interferes, he always wants to run away'.

Aziraphale believes that he just needs to make Crowley understand the situation and opportunity that this is and everything will be alright:

"Come with me! To heaven, I can run it, you can be my second in command. We can make a difference!"

Crowley is looking defeated already, in his mind he's bared his soul and Aziraphale is a brick wall. So if he can't tempt the angel into staying with the love he has for him (which Crowley thinks he's declared but he really hasn't), he'll get him to change his mind by evoking something else he loves:

"You can't leave this bookshop."

Aziraphale scoffs fondly. 'Silly demon, you were just suggesting we run off together and abandon it only a moment ago!' He thinks Crowley is trying to 'work' him here and the old serpent might even be selflessly trying to spare the angel the loss of his beloved bookshop in order to restore Crowley and help the world, which would be just like him to be so covertly protective. So Aziraphale reassures him, a bookshop doesn't matter to him as much as Crowley and the world. It's just a collection of objects really. Humanity is more important. Crowley is far more important.

"Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever."

Crowley is crushed. Nothing lasts forever. Not even the two of them. So he covers his sadness with his glasses, walls back up, and he tries to leave.

Aziraphale is baffled. He just reassured Crowley that he was alright with change if it means things could be better. Why is Crowley leaving? Is he worried that they won't spend time together anymore? That he won't have time for his friend as a supreme archangel?

"Crowley come back!....we can be together, angels!...I need you!"

Crowley can't even look at him in that moment. Why would Aziraphale say that? The two of them together only if he accepts heaven again? Conditional love? That's not fair. It hurts.

Aziraphale meanwhile is hurt by Crowley's turning away, his silence and a bit incensed at what he perceives as ingratitude. Aziraphale didn't really want to go back to heaven, but he'd do it if it meant Crowley could be happy and safe and Crowley doesn't seem to appreciate that:

"I don't think you understand what I'm offering you."

Crowley went through the fall. He asked the questions. Did his best to protect humanity and it has brought him nothing but suffering. He's well aware what's on offer. He's seen heavens cruelty and capriciousness firsthand and been burned by it repeatedly. How can Aziraphale choose them over him and still think everything will work out?

"I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

Crowley loves Aziraphale's big foolish optimism and kind heart and he thinks it's the very thing taking the angel away from him. This isn't how it was supposed to go. It's all slipping away from him.

"Listen. You hear that?"

Aziraphale can't even keep up at this point.

This is what comes of thousands of years of 'not talking about it' and living under threat of holy retribution if they are discovered. They're talking past each other, having two different conversations. Obfuscation and code has become their communication medium by necessity and it's failing them.

It's frustrating Aziraphale that he can't get a grip on this conversation:

"I don't hear anything!"

And Crowley drops the bomb.

"That's the point. No Nightingale's."

Oh. Suddenly we're on the same page. You can see from Aziraphale's face that he understands to what Crowley's referring. The Nightingale in Berkely square. Angels dining at the Ritz...

"You idiot! We could have been... us."

Crowley's talking about the big unspoken thing between them. Their relationship, thousands of years of dancing around each other like binary stars gravitationally and inexorably drawn together over and over. The thing Aziraphale was beginning to be bold about, (dancing notwithstanding) before Metatron came along and distracted him.

And it seems to Aziraphale that gut-wrenchingly, Crowley is finally acknowledging their mutual love only to point out that it's gone. Lost. They could have finally been together, an us, but Aziraphale ruined it because he's an 'idiot'.

After being quietly in love with Crowley for years, for Aziraphale to have his offer to return to heaven together and his unspoken love rejected in one fell swoop is devastating.

Overcome, he begins to cry and turns away, not wanting Crowley to see how hurt he is.

Crowley for his part is desperate. He has to do something. Maybe Aziraphale doesn't understand what Crowley is offering him! One fabulous kiss and va-voom right?

In a final desperate act, he kisses Aziraphale. Tries for passionate. Tries to show him that he loves him and show him what they could be because his words clearly aren't working.

Aziraphale is shocked and angry. He wants to kiss Crowley of course. But not like this. Not as a taunt. Crowley just told him their chance is over so what else could this be but a final insult. A kiss to punish the angel. It's a cruelty he didn't believe Crowley capable of.

And despite how mean it is. It's also what Aziraphale has wanted for so long he can't help but melt into it for a brief moment. Allow himself to feel what it would have been like to be that close before losing it forever.

Then Crowley lets go and Aziraphale breaks away on a sob, feeling wounded. Hurt beyond words that Crowley would use his feelings against him like this, gutted to be losing the man he loves and not understanding why.

The worst part is that Aziraphale doesn't have it in him to hate Crowley, even if he thinks the kiss was a cruel gesture. He still loves him. So he gathers himself and does what Aziraphale does when someone hurts him.

He forgives.

"I forgive you."

I forgive you for rejecting my attempt to restore you and make you happy, I forgive you for rejecting God and heaven yet again, I forgive you for acknowledging our love and then rejecting it. I forgive you for kissing me, giving me a fleeting glimpse of what we could have been to each other. I love you and I forgive you all that.

Crowley is done. Breath knocked out of him on a last sigh. He tried. And the Angel forgave him yet again for something he never asked or wanted forgiveness for. He doesn't want to be penitent for loving Aziraphale. Shouldn't have to apologise or regret wanting them to be together.

"Don't bother."

Aziraphale looks surprised Crowley is leaving because he genuinely is. He can't understand how it's all gone so horribly wrong. He gasps, shocked and can't even call out to him to stop, come back.

He cries, touches his lips where Crowley had kissed him. Tries to gather himself and barely has 10 seconds before Metatron is back.

At the end of that scene:

Crowley thinks he confessed his love and Aziraphale chose heaven over him because he didn't want to stop being a demon.

Aziraphale thinks Crowley rejected heaven, then rejected Aziraphale and threw their love back in his face as a final unkindness.

Aziraphale leaves and goes to heaven anyway because in his mind he's already lost Crowley and there is nothing left to stay for. If he doesn't have Crowley he needs a new purpose and it's going to be saving the world. He'll convince himself of it. And he'll push that broken heart down and the pain will fade if he just smiles through it. It will be enough, to make heaven better. It has to be. Maybe if he proves that he can make a difference Crowley might see the error of his ways and speak to him again? Surely. Hopefully.

---

Both of them are hurt and confused and lost and oh dear hell I really feel for them.

[teambyler]

The most heartbreaking way Byler can culminate (and how I predict it will)

(pic from 80smayfieldz)

Just cry me with today, okay? :')

We all know that when Mike and Will confess their love it has to be EPIC. Like, extreme circumstances need to happen to make these gay boys in an 80s small town confess their love. It's the only way a romance with THIS much build-up over years should pay off.

Bylers need to watch this scene from the Season 1 finale of Agents of SHIELD (Warning: spoilery if you plan to watch this old show... and you will cry!) It's two LONG-TIME BEST FRIENDS but only one can make it out alive. A secretly loves B and has avoided confessing his love because he thinks it's unrequited. He finally admits it, to explain why he's making the ultimate sacrifice.

Now think of Mike and Will on a dangerous mission that is KEY to saving Hawkins. Maybe they're in the church that Noah and Finn are shooting a scene in. Will realizes only one of them can make it out alive, and decides it'll be Mike:

Mike: "There's got to be another way, that's RIDICULOUS! You can't do this, you're my best friend!" Will: "You're more than that, Mike (can't believe he said it, fights back tears) ... Now, PLEASE..."

This is my best prediction of how it'll go. WILL confessing to MIKE makes more sense writing-wise. Mike probably figures out the Painting Lie early in s5, but how he feels for Will remains a mystery. So how MIKE responds to a love confession is uncertain.

This is a season where the Duffers have hinted they'll highlight Will's courage. So he can finish his coming-out arc by telling the person he loves. The Duffers have said Will, always the protected one, the rescued one, will come into his own in s5. I think this means he gets to be the hero this time. It will be a poetic way for Will to finally thank Mike for everything he did for him in s1 and s2; it gives symmetry to their relationship. And it would be a heroic send-off for Will.

(And NO I don't think Will will die. We gays have already had our Reddie and Destiel tragedies. Will dying would go against how the Duffers have set this show up.)

What will Mike do, when confronted with losing Will forever?

We know how he felt once before...

Mike offers himself but there'd be no point; only Will can do this. There's no way they both make it out.

Does Mike tell Will he loves him? We know the boy struggles with saying how he feels.

Mike begs Will not to die. He can't lose him AGAIN. He couldn't live if he did. When Will doesn't believe it, MIKE KISSES HIM.

Actions, not words. ("I didn't say it." "You didn't have to.")

Mike insists on staying. Will tries to make him leave, but he refuses.

"You've always been an idiot, Mike." Will doesn't know to laugh or cry. He's sad... not about dying, but regrets all the years they lost not being together.

They kiss again and hold each other tightly... And we again hear Peter Gabriel, as the church walls fall and the world is about to end:

And we kissed as though nothing could fall And the shame The shame was on the other side And we can be heroes just for one day.

-teambyler

[microclown]

Crowley and Aziraphale's communication in the final 15 is bad, but going back through the season I've realized it's even more prevalent than I thought…

not all of these miscommunications are a problem, but they barely have one interaction that doesn't include some form of lack of communication, so I thought it was worth highlighting the pattern

List under the cut, analysis at the end

Aziraphale doesn't tell Crowley about the naked man, Nina does

Aziraphale doesn't tell him it's Gabriel, he tell him it's Jim, Crowley sees it's Gabriel

"I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlys" (aka miscommunication- assuming they're on the same page when they're not)

Cowley doesn't tell Aziraphale the stakes, that he could be erased from the book of life for helping Gabriel

The Apology dance is literally dancing around the issue. He doesn't want to apologize because he doesn't believe he is in the wrong, but they never talk through it, they just move forward

"Ah, we're going to the pub!" As they're walking in the door. so Aziraphale didn't tell him where they were going, he just lead him there??

Aziraphale and Crowley don't agree on how to get Nina and Maggie together, but they go ahead and execute their own plans without discussing it further. Crowley does ask "I'm lost, am I doing a rainstorm?" but Aziraphale has already moved on and doesn't answer him. He's already decided the ball is the better option, but he doesn't communicate that. Later, Crowley tries to tell Aziraphale about his plan with the rainstorm, but Aziraphale ignores him. "You don't want to hear about my plan?" Then when Crowley tells him the rainstorm plan was a bust, Aziraphale has no idea what he's talking about.

After telling Crowley about the Clue, Aziraphle doesn't let them discuss it at all. He literally cuts Crowley off from asking any questions about it "no! not another word."

When Aziraphale asks to take the Bentley, he doesn't really ask, he's telling Crowley he's going to take it. Crowley says no indirectly "You can't drive my Bentley." Aziraphale explains that he can drive because he has a license. So Crowley says "No" plainly. Aziraphale ignores him. Crowley says "No" again, louder, clearer, slaps Aziraphale's hand away, but Aziraphale still ignores him.

When Aziraphale tells Crowley what he learned about Gabriel in Edinburgh, they never discuss it fully because Crowley cuts him off to execute his rainstorm that they've also never fully discussed.

Neither Aziraphale or Crowley tell the other that Shax confronted them. More importantly, Aziraphale doesn't tell Crowley that Shax tricked him into revealing that Gabriel is in the bookshop.

Aziraphale is very coy with Crowley while planning the ball "wait and see!" He never actually tells Crowley his plan.

When Aziraphale suggests "just talking" to Gabriel, he looks pleased when Crowley says "Actually, I will." He doesn't seems to read Crowley's tone. Crowley then proceeded to yell at Gabriel and tells him to jump out a window. Probably not what Aziraphale had in mind.

Of course, the whole scene in the ball. Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale about the demons straight away, he leads with a seemingly less urgent "somethings wrong". Aziraphale is barely listening anyway. He's too in his own world, too caught up in psyching himself up to ask Crowley to dance.

After the demons storm the ball, Aziraphale tells Crowley he's got a suggestion, but Crowley cuts him off "I've got it."

Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale what he learned in Heaven. He doesn't tell him about Armageddon part 2, or that Gabriel was fired for not wanting to go ahead with it. He doesn't even tell him this during their big fight at the end, when you would think it would be a convincing point towards Aziraphel staying.

Neil has revealed that Crowley never told Aziraphale that he was living in his car

And then their final argument is laden with miscommunication, (people have gone into great depths analyzing this already, but I’ll just sum it up so it’s included) - Aziraphale assumes Crowley would want to be an angel again, but they’ve clearly never discussed this. Crowley assumes Aziraphale is on the same page with why heaven is so bad, but they’ve clearly not fully discussed this either.  Crowley can barely look at Aziraphale when he’s confessing. He can’t get out the word “partner.” He can’t finish his sentence “I would like to spend…” Then there’s “nothing lasts forever” which Crowley interprets entirely differently from Aziraphale’s intention. “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you” “I understand, and I think I understand a whole lot better than you.” And then, when Crowley has given up on trying to communicate verbally, he kisses Aziraphale as a last “Hail Mary” to get him to understand. But of course he doesn’t. That’s not communication. 

So.

If you’re still with me, what’s the point of laying all this out? Well, a couple of things. I’ll try to organize my thoughts coherently. 

 _

Crowley and Aziraphale’s communication is beyond a simple fix

It is so much worse than I originally thought. What they need is couples therapy. They both need to become aware of the broken way they relate to each other, and they need to do a lot of work on listening to each other, giving each other space to talk, and being honest with what they know and how they are feeling. We needed someone to call them out, make them aware of this, but Nina and Maggie TRIED this season, and it was not enough. Unfortunately, I’m fairly confident season 3 will not just be six hour long couples therapy sessions. I’m not sure how much room for working on communication skills there will be at all. Neil has described season three as big, loud, and action packed. I have no idea how this issue will be resolved in that context. 

_

Something horrible I realized when making this list. Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale is beginning to mirror his toxic relationship with heaven. Aziraphale develops a plan- taking care of Gabriel, investigating the clue, organizing the ball. He wants things to go just the way he has in mind. He does not let Crowley say no. He does not let Crowley ask questions!!! And now Aziraphale is running heaven? What makes us think he would treat Crowley any differently in a real position of power? It would have been so. bad. if Crowley accepted Aziraphale’s offer. Yes, Aziraphale and Crowley are on the same page on preserving the world and humanity, and yes they love each other and want to be with each other, but when it comes to what to do about it, they don’t see eye to eye. And neither of them know how to properly collaborate or communicate. 

_

Finally, why do Aziraphale and Crowleyhide things from one another? Simply, they don’t really trust each other. I mean they do, sort of, but not entirely. They have a deeper trust. They trust that the other cares about them, and won't harm them intentionally, but they have so many deep rooted issues with trust from their past with heaven and hell that it overflows into their relationship. People have said Crowley keeps information from Aziraphale to protect him, but that also comes from a place of mistrust. He doesn’t trust Aziraphale to protect himself. He doesn’t trust him to do what he would do with that information. Similarly, Aziraphale doesn’t trust Crowley to let him do things his way. They don’t know how to collaborate! Not really. It's something they want, but were never taught. Collaboration was never encouraged in Heaven or hell.

[ineffablebookgirl]

I also haven't seen anyone talk about Aziraphale and Crowley's dance or routine of spats and breakups and reconciliations and second chances, which we talked about in season 1. There was always an offer from Crowley, a rejection by Aziraphale, time apart, and then a second outreach from Crowley which is then accepted. Even though they don't communicate, they have this pattern, this unspoken language, which they adhere to pretty well.

And we see it again with the smaller fight at the beginning of season 2, over how to handle naked amnesiac Gabriel showing up. Aziraphale says my way or the highway, Crowley storms off, Crowley storms back in, makes a ritualistic apology, Aziraphale accepts the apology, they move on together as a team.

(I actually really liked seeing the little moment where they're trying to figure out how to hide Gabe, where Aziraphale suggests the half miracle each, and Crowley considers this and then agrees, that could work, and falls into line, shoulder to shoulder with Aziraphale, let's do this together. It's this little glimpse into how they actually do work together as a team.)

With the big fight / love confession at the end, Aziraphale has zero time to process any of what's going on -- escaping the wrath of Heaven & Hell yet again, this bonkers offer out of left field from the Metatron, Crowley breaking *all* their rules and actually communicating? in words? about feelings? Like, this is A Lot, and we *know* Az needs time. He doesn't make decisions quickly, he can't handle when things go too fast. Even without the millennia of religious / family trauma, he would not have handled this situation well.

The pattern has been broken, and creating a new pattern of behavior is hard and requires intentionality and presence. Aziraphale does not have the opportunity to choose to be intentional and present, because it's thrown at him all at once, with the urgency to decide Right Now.

[carlsdarling]

okay, now i need a fic about carl's gigantic balls😔😔😔

Jingle balls, jingle balls

Y/N wonders if Carl really has gigantic balls... Bit more of a plot, then sex. Everyone is 18 or over.

WARNINGS: smut, nsfw, unprotected sex, oral (male receiving)

As so often, you watched Carl as he helped Olivia to carry groceries into the warehouse. To do this, he repeatedly climbed into the back of the pick-up truck parked outside the warehouse and the fabric of his jeans stretched over his crotch, leaving a visible bulge. You giggled furtively, because ever since a certain day, you'd been a little obsessed with Carl and what was going on under his belt.

That was when Negan had first come to Alexandria with his men to demand supplies, and when two of his men had gone to get medicine from Rick's house, Carl had angrily stood in their way and threatened them with his gun. You had heard the gunshot from the house and seen Rick, Negan and Gabriel rush to Rick's house, so you had followed them, curious and worried at the same time.

Inside the house was Carl, his one eye glinting with rage, his cheeks flushed delightfully as he pointed the gun at Negan's men and forbade them to take the drugs. The muscles on his arm and neck were tense, and he ignored Negan, who approached with amusement and began to admonish Carl. But Carl was not intimidated by Negan, so the latter finally got a little annoyed and said: "So, dude, at what point were we? Oh yes! At your gigantic balls down there!"

The blush had rushed to your face and you had struggled to suppress a giggle despite the dangerous situation, so Gabriel had looked at you in bewilderment and confusion. You had thought Carl was cute ever since he had come to Alexandria, but since that day, you kept trying to imagine him naked and wondered if Negan was right with his comment.

However, you and Carl didn't get close at first because he spent a lot of time with Enid, and eventually he and Enid became a couple, which made you jealous. But around the time of Carl's 19th birthday, things started to fall apart and a few months later they had a big fight and broke up, leaving Carl single again. Faced with this fact, you were all excited, but at first you just couldn't find a way to get closer to Carl.

Until the day you happened to be assigned to guard duty together. It was a few days before Christmas and Alexandria was already festively decorated; it was snowing lightly as you and Carl climbed the stairs to the wall.

You kept glancing stealthily at Carl from the side. He was wearing a parka against the cold, so you couldn't catch a glimpse of his crotch, but you were firmly convinced that Carl was well equipped, and Negan's words kept coming back to your mind.

It didn't take long for Carl to notice your strange behavior. "What's wrong?" he asked with a hint of irritation. "Why do you always stare at me like that?"

You immediately blushed. "What? Like what?" you tried to deny it.

Carl looked at you with raised eyebrows, snowflakes settling on his bandage. "I don't know. But you're always gaping at me like you're trying to figure something out." Your face grew even hotter, and Carl grinned knowingly. "You have the hots for me, haven't you?"

"No," you immediately denied it.

"No? Too bad," Carl said casually. "I mean, I'm single again, and we could have some fun." He pointed to a vacant house near the wall. "There don't seem to be any walkers out today anyway. No one will notice if we disappear for a while." He winked indecently at you. "But it's not like you're interested." He shrugged his shoulders.

You cleared your throat. "Umm, I wouldn't put it like that. It's just..."

"What?" Carl eyed you with amusement.

"Well, Negan made a remark about your balls back then." You giggled, embarrassed. "I've always wondered since then if it was true. Well, that they're gigantic."

Carl laughed out loud. "Okay, so they're not small," he let you know in a teasing tone. "Neither is the rest. But don't you want to find out for yourself?" He stepped closer so that his breath brushed hotly across your cheek.

The arousal swept over you like an electric shock. You could smell Carl's scent very clearly, his long hair tickled your face and his pheromones mesmerized you. You and Carl had never been this close before. His lips almost touched yours. "Yes," you breathed, your heart pounding wildly.

"Come on then," Carl said, taking your hand after looking around and realizing that no one was watching you. He pulled you down the stairs and over to the abandoned house. New residents were due to move in these days, so the heating was turned up and it was comfortably warm.

Apparently Carl had been pretty needy since breaking up with Enid, because he pulled you into a hug as soon as he closed the front door behind you both and kissed you fiercely, his hands sliding under your clothes and immediately fumbling with the clasp of your bra. "Bedroom," he murmured as he pushed you towards the stairs. On the way up, you were already stripping off some of your clothes. You admired Carl's naked torso, the finely chiseled muscles, the fair skin, and the soft line of dark hair that led down from his navel.

You fiddled eagerly with Carl's belt. "I want to see you," you said breathlessly, licking at his neck.

Carl groaned, shoved your hand aside and undid his belt and the buttons of his jeans himself before sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling down his jeans and boxers. His cock was standing straight up, the tip touching his stomach and leaving a wet trail. You grabbed Carl by the shoulders and made him lie on his back, then you took his cock in your hand and began to gently rub up and down and apply pressure. Carl whimpered and squirmed on the bed, his eye closed. You let go of his dick and turned your attention to his balls - indeed, they weren't gigantic, but they were big, one almost filling your entire hand. "Are they always this... full?" you teased him, caressing his balls, swirling your tongue around his red, precum-oozing tip.

Carl whimpered and grinned sheepishly. "Maybe not quite so full," he whispered, his voice hoarse with excitement. "It's just, uum, I've got a bit of blue balls, if you know what I mean, oh please, don't stop." He groaned lustfully and bucked his hips up as you playfully licked his balls.

You leaned over Carl to kiss him and he yanked impatiently at your panties, slipping them over your thighs and shoving his long fingers between your legs. "You're already so wet, baby," he gasped, gripping your hips. Very slowly, he pushed his dick in.

You trembled with pleasure, and he chuckled, while his cock sliding inside you, making naughty slippery noises. You clenched your muscles around him, and he started moaning loudly, arching his back. You leaned forward and touched his big balls at the same time, gently massaging them, and this almost drove Carl over the edge, he was so close to cumming, but he successfully held himself back.

The way his dick was stretching you out was amazing, and you whined loudly, which made Carl grin. "It's not just my balls that are big," he joked.

"Oh my god, Carl," you moaned and the movements of your hips became faster and more erratic as you felt the orgasm approaching. When you cum around his cock, Carl feverishly bucked his hips, he let out a little scream and his cum filled you up to he rim. You had to grip onto his shoulders for support. "Going wild, huh?" you panted. Carl lied back, exhausted, he tried to catch his breath.

You collapsed on top of him, your head resting in the crook of his neck, before you dismounted him to snuggle up to him.

Carl looked at you, his cheeks still flushed, his heart beating hard. "That was... beyond words," he whispered and kissed you. You touched his balls again, and Carl inhaled sharply.

"They're not so full anymore," you said, giggling.

Carl smiled a little bashfully. "You took care of them, didn't you? But you have to admit, they're really big," he hinted with a pout.

There was no denying it. "They are," you giggled. "So is your dick."

Carl suddenly pressed you into the mattress and lay on top of you, gently spreading your legs. You could clearly feel that he was ready for you again. "Since you liked it, can we do it again?" he suggested. "Again and again," you mumbled as Carl penetrated you a second time.

--

Tags: @knochentrocken0808 @xxcarlswifexx @taylormarieee @tessasweet

(Originally the fic was planned for X-mas time, but then my dad passed away, so it got delayed)

[alwaysgodownwiththeship]

"Got Any Better Ideas?" Aziraphale's Conviction and Crowley's Resignation

I was watching that scene in 1x06 again, and something clicked for me that never any sense to me before. In fact, it explained a couple things in season 2 .

See this scene is beautiful, heartbreaking, and hilarious all in one. We see yet another example of how much Crowley cares about Aziraphale... And we see Aziraphale making a bizarre move to (?) attack Crowley, then make a childish threat that won't matter given that they're both about die.

Before, I just assumed that he was just saying whatever thought ran through his head.

Now I get it.

Recap: Crowley realized that Gabriel and Beelzebub told on them Satan. Satan, who was now coming to kill them all. Crowley was this close to giving up, and then Aziraphale picked up his sword.

There's only one reason why: Aziraphale wasn't going to give up. In that moment, Aziraphale chose to fight Satan. He knew he would likely die trying.

(Psst! Past self: He's not giving Crowley some weird, friendship ultimatum!)

He's terrified. But resolved. And he knows this really will be their last conversation.

And Crowley gets it. He might not have believed that they were going to survive Satan's arrival, but he hadn't quite put together like this: If he isn't able to come up with another plan, Aziraphale will take up his sword against Satan and Crowley will have to watch him die.

So Crowley got a better idea, remembering Adam's power, he decided to give the human(s) the choice and protect it alongside Aziraphale.

Season 2

This is part of larger ongoing dynamic where (unless circumstances allow Crowley to give Aziraphale a better plan which actually addresses the problem) Aziraphale will act, like choosing to help Jim!Gabriel. If he thinks it's the right thing to do, he'll do it, regardless of the costs. It won't deter him at all.

Crowley learned that about him some time ago.

He saw Aziraphale lie to save Lot's children despite fully expecting to go hell for it.

(Plus Aziraphale straight up lied to God about the flaming sword that time, right? UMM... Why didn't he fall????)

So there Crowley is, apologizing(?), dancing, and lying about the full extent of the danger they're in.

I don't agree with Crowley's actions, with the lying especially. (Seriously, Crowley? Tell Aziraphale about the Extreme Sanctions!!) But Crowley is resigned to help at this point because he knows Aziraphale will be in danger anyways and he knows that when Aziraphale has made his mind up, he won't change it. Crowley can only offer his help or provide a different solution.

And since their communication problems are so big right now, their dynamic is to work around each other rather than with each other.

Right from the very beginning, their conception of the problem is very different.

Crowley: We're exposed to danger because of Gabriel, we have to find a way to hide Gabriel/ourselves from Heaven and Hell.

Aziraphale: Jim!Gabriel (innocent like Lot's children/rather childlike himself) is in danger, we have to find a way to hide Gabriel from Heaven and Hell.

TAKEAWAY

-Crowley wants them both to stay away from the toxic plans of Heaven/Hell so they can be safe together.

-Aziraphale wants to directly interfere with the plans of Heaven/Hell when he feels the responsibility to do good.

Takeaway on the ending of season 2:

When their perspective on the problem is so different to begin with, the breakup makes a little more sense to me. Though no less horrible.

(Wild Card: Heaven is the symbol of what is right and good? Aziraphale since when??? UGH, I have to meta more about this: Aziraphale's (and Crowley's) belief in the ineffable plan and how it affects his idea of reform/fixing the institutional problem of Heaven.)

[dee-morris]

Crowley's Effect on Reality

There is a headcanon that has been rattling around in my coconut for about a year, and now I've added to it. It's canon that Crowley has a reality-altering effect on his immediate surroundings; we see it in the cafe where he meets Shadwell and the TVs are showing The Witchfinder. Or when "You're My Best Friend" is playing in the Bentley and follows him into the burning bookshop to play on the gramophone. (Cinematography so seamless it actually took me several watches to notice, bless them all.)

So I've been wondering how far that extends, and I got to thinking about the baby swap. Crowley gives the baby to Sister Mary and tells her to take him to Room 3. Mary says this to Sister Grace, who tells her to get on with it, then. But Grace was the one who put the Youngs in Room 3! She of all the nuns should have been like, Wait a minute.

The obvious answer is obviously the nuns aren't bright and/or are too used to following orders to question it. But it would have made more sense to just have some random nun there, not the one most likely to catch a mix up before it happened. So this makes me wonder if it's not Crowley's ambient reality warp in action. Instead of playing a song reflecting his mood or a movie that reminds him of someone, the world is reflecting his deepest wish: he wants something to go wrong. Something that will give the world a fighting chance and ideally can't be traced directly back to him.

So that's what's been kicking around in my brain for about a year, and after watching season two and thinking about how RIDICULOUSLY OVERPOWERED these two idiots are, I'm starting to wonder how often this has happened before. A tiny little surreptitious half miracle set off alarms in heaven and works so well that it sends the most powerful angel in heaven racing to the scene to get control of the situation. That was a conscious effort; what have they gotten away with without even knowing what they were doing?

"I've been looking over your previous exploits" and what did you see, Metabitch? Did you see an angel and a demon hornswoggle the entire Host to save a couple of human children? Did you look more closely and wonder why even Michael (who is significantly sharper than Gabriel even on his best days) was taken in by their embarrassingly transparent magic act?

Then there's 1941, and I know there's a miracle blocker in the room when Aziraphale steals the photo, but does that work if it's unconscious? Bc it's not something they're trying to do, it's not a force of will being inflicted on reality; it's reality bending to reflect their wishes. Would a miracle blocker work? Genuinely do not know.

Season Two did NOT spend enough time talking about the power they can access together, we know almost nothing about it, and I think that's deliberate. I'm so fucking stoked for the next season, make it happen make it real.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi hi hi! I’m looking for some longer hurt/comfort fics. I love angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, anything dealing with mental illness or unwellness, things like that. Preferably over 50k! Sorry if this is super specific! Doesn’t matter if it’s an AU or canon compliant. Thank you 💗

Hello. We have #angst, #hurt/comfort, #emotional hurt/comfort, and #mental health tags so check those out. Here are some 50k+ fics, at least some of which we have recommended before. Mind the tags on these!...

Sharp Objects by ElderlySardine (M)

Back in the mid-nineties, Aziraphale and Crowley had it all. They were friends, lovers, soulmates. Life was hard, but as long as they were together it didn't matter. Then in one catastrophic fight caused by Aziraphale's cruel, coercive brother Gabriel, the whole thing came crashing down. The boys parted company for good. Now it's 2021. Life has spun Crowley and Aziraphale in very different directions before throwing them back together at their lowest ebb. Can they manage to hide their history from their new friends? Can they forgive each other, and themselves? Could there possibly still be something there between them? And with Gabriel still lurking on the horizon, will they be strong enough to do anything about it?

And There Will Be Great Lamentations by TheBobblehat (M)

It has been a month since Aziraphle has become the new Archangel of Heaven, and it's worse than he can possibly imagine. Due to Gabriel's poor management while he was in charge, Azirpahle has been playing catch-up with all the paperwork that Gabriel didn't bother to do. On top of that, while Aziraphale has a shiny new title, he still can't seem to garner the respect of his fellow Angels, and now without Crowley, is feeling more lonely than ever before. Meanwhile, on Earth, Crowley isn't doing much better. Depressed, he haunts the bookshop under the lame excuse that he's "supervising" Muriel in their new position as bookseller. That old, demonic spark has long gone, and all that's left is a very depressed, very heartbroken shell of his former self.

Hold Me Until The Morning by TheLinThing (E)

Anthony Crowley is a lot of things, but mostly single and very unhappy about it. His brain is not his best friend, and that makes it hard for him to find love. Until a certain handsome blonde walks into the gaybar he frequents, and Anthony can only hope he can keep his fears in control so they won't be interfering with his plans for this angelic man.

Tiny little fractures by Wildphoenix_ofthe80s (M)

In a human AU, Aziah Fell and Anthony Crowley meet while looking for distraction on a self harm help message board. Please pay close attention to tags, they're there to protect you.

Introduction to Philosophy – an Inter-Faculty Course by Black_Bentley (E)

Everyone who participates in the Introduction to Philosophy course regrets they chose it for an "easy credit" as one of the students is taking critical thinking to an absurd level that is going nowhere (...), while the other can’t be bothered to think for himself. It would be hilarious if they weren’t so damned annoying. As for those annoying students, Crowley falls deeply in love and Aziraphale... Aziraphale is prophesied by their fellow student Anathema to break Crowley's heart Initially started as a half-silly something inspired by this post on Tumblr*, but then it got angstier and more disturbing than the first chapters would suggest. Please, mind the tags, but I promise a happy ending! *If you ever had That Student in any Philosophy course, you know what this is about.

Free by imposterssyndrome (E)

Anthony J Crowley's been living rough since he was kicked out by his parents as a kid. Somehow he's made it to the age of 40 and he's still alive, but if you asked him, he's not really sure how the hell he's managed it. It's not been pretty. Alistair Zachariah (Az) Fell runs a bookshop, but is still under the strict yoke of his parents: their eternal disappointment. 40 years old and he's desperately unhappy and hit crisis point. They meet (again?) as inpatients in an acute mental health ward. They have nothing in common. Obviously. How could they? They're practically opposites. So why are they so drawn to one another?

- Mod D

[violenteconomics]

First year gang but it’s an au where they’re ghostbusters

anything 4 u, baby. (gonna be real with you, though, i have never seen a single ghostbusters movie, so some of this is just based off of preliminary research, lol)

okay, so it's a TWST event based on that one old mickey mouse short "the haunted house" and the actual "the haunted mansion" ride at disneyland. there's this old, decrepit house on school property that used to be its own dorm -- we're just gonna call it "skaladare". however, after an undisclosed accident nearly a century ago where all the dorm members died simultaneously, it shut down and is now the most dangerous place to be on all of campus. for this reason, demolition companies don't want to go anywhere NEAR this thing, so it's just been chilling in its pocket dimension for a while.

you can see where this is going.

the first-years originally think they're just going into skaladare to get the cinders cloak that used to belong to the old housewarden, which has great magical properties -- which is partially true, if nothing else. that idea degrades over time, though, as crowley gives them ghostbusting outfits, magestone equipment (proton packs, containment units, etc.), and even gives grim a funny pair of ecto goggles. ("you probably won't get in any real danger, but i'll give you all this stuff anyway because i'm just so darn kind---")

(the housewarden of skaladare, named gale roths (a pun on the term "gale rots"), is twisted from the grim reaper from the mickey mouse short, btw.)

as soon as they get there, the door closes in on them and they're locked inside. luckily, they're met with the ghost of a former skaladare first-year named gabriel hauntings (for... obvious reasons), twisted from the ghost host from the haunted mansion ride. he's pretty friendly as far as most undead go, though (if extremely sassy and sarcastic, but i guess being stuck with nothing to do but crossword puzzles will do that to you).

gabriel can't remember how he died, but everyone else does. and he can tell you that everyone has been extremely aggressive after they woke up as ghosts, so the first-years better watch their backs. after a bit of threatening by epel and manhandling by sebek (which everyone is deeply confused by, because he's supposed to incorporeal, sebek is there something you want to tell us--), gabriel agrees to guide them through the mansion to the housewarden's bedroom, where the cinders cloak is.

they fight through a bunch of skeletons and ghosts, and as they continue through the halls, talking to old paintings on the walls and random scraps of memories gabriel regains, they slowly piece together the story behind skaladare's mass extinction.

as it turns out, skaladare used to be the worst-ranked dorm in the whole school -- in grades, definitely, but also in the fact that the dorm was literally falling apart, and no matter how much housewarden roths begged for repairs, the headmage at the time (who i'm just going to assume isn't crowley) refused to spend money on what the entire school saw as a lost cause.

skaladare lost every spelldrive match they were ever apart of, they were cut out of school-wide field trips, the teachers looked down on skaladare first-years the moment they stepped into the classroom, and getting sorted into skaladare was basically a death sentence (*hint hint*, *wink wink*)

being the housewarden of this awful place was already bad. combine that with the housewarden's already ongoing issues (we're just going to assume they're similar to riddle's), and he overblotted in no time at all. except this time, there was nobody who could stop him -- and he wound up killing every single person in skaladare. the reason gabriel doesn't remember any of this is because he was sleeping when this happened, which is why he describes the process of becoming a ghost as "waking up".

blah blah blah, the first-years have to deal with another overblot, can you believe it? except this time, gabriel is going to battle with us after hanging back this whole time (yes, he can get a card, too). and at the end, gabriel and gale and everybody else can move on to the afterlife. gale gives the first-years the cinders cloak, the freshmen and gabriel have a tearful goodbye, and they leave up into the great unknown after one last twistune.

even if this is a twst event and those are usually pretty goofy, let's say that this ending has our freshmen thinking about how this school and their own dorms might actually kill them one day.

as for cards, i'm gonna give jack and sebek the ssr cards ('cause let's be real, they deserve it at this point), deuce and epel can get the sr cards, and (i'm so sorry) ace and ortho get the r cards. and since gabriel is our event guest, he also gets an ssr card.

[good-soupmens]

Ik the good omens fandom has different takes on God as a character, but I like the idea that she DOES have an ineffable plan, and Heaven is doing their absolute worst job carrying it out.

Most angels never talk to God, and they're usually selfish, they don't do the right thing (only what they're told), and it's even possible they're working under a corrupt power (like the Metatron). I like that theory because Metatron IS the barrier between God and the angels. He could easily lie to them and change plans, and we the audience know that "friendly old man metatron" swindling Aziraphale is not what he seems.

But from the beginning, we see inconsistency. Crowley falls from heaven after asking questions/hanging out with the wrong group while Aziraphale is allowed to lie about the flaming sword and change Heaven's plans. God can see how much he cares about humans and the earth by his actions (Crowley being the same), which makes me think that him getting away with it is intentional, not inconsistent or neglectful. ESPECIALLY if Aziraphale and Crowley run heaven and hell respectively in season 3. They have the power to change things, just like they stopped the world from ending the first time. I think Crowley and Aziraphale ARE the ineffable plan.

Their love could bridge the gap between opposing forces in a way that it couldn't if they were both angels. After all, both heaven and hell think they're doing the better thing while they're both not. Crowley and Aziraphale are the best of both sides.

If bringing them together was God's plan, it'd be a powerful story for queer Christians!! A lot of us have been hurt by the church, but we hold on to God's love, which doesn't fail us. We stay in a religion with a history of fighting queerness not because we're all brainwashed, but because we wholeheartedly believe in a God that loves us. Sometimes I see good omens' heaven as an analogy for toxic churches, and I'd love nothing more than for Aziraphale to realize heaven is working against God. Not to mention God using a gay couple to save the world/save heaven from corruption?? I'd kill for that storyline

Secondly, Aziraphale's devotion wouldn't have been for nothing. If God was awful the whole time, it defeats the times he and Crowley reached out, and the moment in the GOs1 finale where Crowley says, "what if you're going AGAINST God's ineffable plan?" to Gabriel and Beelzebub. (It'd almost defeat the purpose of her being the quirky narrator following their story, too.)

Even Crowley, never fooled by "heaven is all good" calls for God in his time of need ("God listening? Show me an ineffable plan.") (Possibly when he reaches to the sky in order to stop time) (Calling for God before Satan in the burning bookshop) (Looking up and muttering "God" after realizing Aziraphale is going to leave him in s2)

Lastly, after the trauma that both Crowley and Aziraphale went through, with Crowley falling and Aziraphale coming to terms with heaven's corruption (and both being mistreated by their side) it'd be nice to have been for a reason. They have every right to grieve and be angry for all that they went through, and the centuries that they weren't supposed to love each other, but I believe the series will end on a positive, sweet note, like the rainbow after a storm.

Like Job, they're losing almost everything (their relationship as it was, the bookshop, and the life they carved out), but they have each other. I think they'll lose everything to save EVERYONE, and in the end, the reward will top the pain. No holding back, no forces hunting them down, just them together after a PAINFULLY long time with everything they'd wanted.

We know that God doesn't get around to answering many questions, but her speech to Job was in part to say "trust me"

She laid the foundations of the earth. She made every living thing. Job couldn't see past the destruction of his life, but she has a plan. Job is a valuable human being, but he doesn't have the power and knowledge of God. God will share her plan when he can make a whale. Otherwise, he can trust that "Most things are fine in the end"

*Aziraphale voice* That's ineffable!

[candaru]

just gonna ramble about some Ultrakill/Portal crossover thoughts don't mind me

(considering The End of All Known Land canon for these thoughts, i.e. a world where Gabriel and V1 are the only ones to get out of Hell)

Chell hates robots with all her soul and would try to fucking annihilate V1 if she thought they posed even a sliver of a threat but V1 would be so fucking excited at the prospect of another human. like obviously if they were still in a situation where they needed blood, they'd kill her without a second thought, but now? they're just FASCINATED by the question of "how did a human SURVIVE" and they want to know everything

V1 inner monologue: oh boy a new sparring partner!!! wow they have a cool new kind of gun I've never seen before!! that would've been soooo helpful back in hell. I wonder if that's how they escaped? and they're quiet just like me! I wonder if their organic voicebox is broken? or do they just not have one? can humans not have one?

GLaDOS would fucking despise Gabriel because he's sooooo full of himself. She doesn't even need to hear him say anything robot-racist, She's already decided She hates him and wants him dead. an "angel?" yeah, right. sounds just like another human ripe for the picking. let's see how high-and-mighty you are when you're in my TESTING DOMAIN! DO MY PUZZLES, BOY!!!

Gabriel is like wow this robot is stuck up and has some serious issues but also I am uncomfortable with how much of myself I see reflected in her. hmmmm. yeah I'll try your puzzle, tell me more about your deep-seated hatred of organics and particularly this one that keeps ruining the facility you run and is the only one to ever beat you in a fight. mhm. yeah so quick question have you ever thought about trying to fuck—

(EXPLOSION AND GUNFIRE)

meanwhile if Chell ever met Gabriel on the surface it'd make for such a good tense encounter. bc she is hiding behind a tree in full fight-or-flight mode wondering "how did another human SURVIVE" and also second question "how did they get such sickass wings and where can I get a pair?"

and then Gabriel noticing her would ALSO send him into fight-or-flight mode but only for a moment because of the pure shock of, again, "HOW DID A HUMAN SURVIVE" before curiosity completely overtakes him and he tries to talk to her. trying to get her to talk and not attack or run is like trying to coax a wild injured animal out of a hiding spot. but he eventually manages to earn the barest, most minimal amount of trust by setting down all his weapons and leaving offerings of food in front of her.

...this gets harder when she sees Gabriel and V1 together and registers that they're allies. she's unsure if they're plotting against her or if V1 is manipulating Gabriel. eventually she leans towards the latter and thinks her fears are confirmed when she witnesses them drawing Gabriel's blood while he's sleeping.

she tries to communicate this to him by drawing crude pictures on the ground and is VERY FRUSTRATED when he's like "omg can you not talk? that's ok!! V1 also can't talk but we make it work, they're really incredibly kind and patient and—"

Chell, internally: I AM GOING TO KILL THAT FUCKING ROBOT AND SAVE YOU

I think it would be funny for V1 to try and go urban exploring in Aperture. GLaDOS is initially all excited because a new testing robot literally fell right into Her clutches but then V1 proceeds to be the most stubborn, impudent, tenacious piece of shit and they remind her WAY TOO MUCH OF CHELL so now She's trying to kill them but they have ACTUAL FUCKING GUNS and Aperture is being destroyed in the wake of their battle

meanwhile V1 has decided they don't like this robot but also She makes fun tests. so they do puzzles until they get bored and then they blast holes through the wall and try to kill Her

something something Ultrakill is just Portal for NBs (everyone knows Portal is for women) and I'm so fascinated by the similar dynamics of the toxic yuri/toxic yaoi robot-and-human pairs. and I think they would mostly hate each other and I love that for them.

(also something something GLaDOS is too far gone, too corrupted in Her immortality, and too deep in denial for any possible healthy ending with Chell—it's just not possible. so seeing Gabriel and V1 in a healthy and loving relationship would make Her SO FUCKING MAD for reasons She can't articulate)

[ladymarlin]

Desperate housewives au stuff (mostly Duncney) bc it's been on my mind latelyyy

So, Duncan and Courtney were on and off for awhile before splitting. Then a little after they split she meets a decent guy (possibly someone her parents set her up with) and their relationship moves pretty quickly "For the baby" they're having which is actually Duncan's but no one needs to know that.

The whole housewife thing really isn't for her though and it would be a reoccurring argument between her and her husband but she would stand her ground every time. She's too good a lawyer to quit and "become like the rest of the girls in the neighborhood" sooo...

Her and Duncan would reunite years later when he moves onto the street. Courtney would go over to welcome her new neighbor and nearly chokes when she sees it's Duncan.

Duncan has a hard time fitting in on the street. The neighborhood is pretty judgy and he's a total punk, so they're wary of him. And does he have some deep dark secret? Probably. But the neighbors definitely take things too far and assume the worst

Him and Courtney would reconnect and eventually it'd lead to an affair. Courtney would feel Super guilty about it since she was once cheated on, but rlly her and Duncan are falling in love. They'd sneak around a lot, there'd probly be some comical scenes abt it. Courtney would do everything to uphold her reputation. Really, it's the only reason she's married.

Idk how they'd get there but the main angst points would be Duncan finding out the kid is his and Courtney's husband eventually leaving. She'd probly have a s8 Bree Van De Kamp type arc. But some probably traumatic event would bring them back together and they live happy or smth

Aleheather would be the Carlos and Gaby equivalent. Without the cheating ofc. Alejandro wouldn't WANT anyone else and Heather tbh also wouldn't. No one likes her like Alejandro. Plus in desperate housewives Gabrielle's Gardner she has an affair with is UNDER AGE so yeah no.

But they'd definitely have similar fights and similar issues. Maybe they'd divorce for some petty reason, have a few days of trying to mess w each other before just getting back together. Instead of Alejandro going blind like Carlos does he would suffer similar injuries to the ones in the show (volcano robot suit incident) and sustain leg damage that would hinder him.

I don't have as much for them they just rlly remind me of Carlos and Gaby. Like yeah she'd push him out the window on impulse and then call 911

Also if u haven't seen desperate housewives (I highly recommend it's so good) a lot of this probly seems rlly dramatic n stuff but it is very much a drama mystery so it fits. Trust there have been some absolutely insane plots in that show.

Also if u wanna send asks pls do bc I kinda wanna explore this more. Or send ideas too could be cool :3

[crackers4jenn]

Fic Masterlist - Supernatural (Dean/Cas)

CANON-ADJACENT

TITLE: down the road (WIP)

SUMMARY: Set immediately after the s7 finale, when Dean and Cas get sucked into Purgatory. They stick together to fight their way back out, running into some old friends along the way... and some old enemies. (Or, Brokeback Purgatory 1.0. Dean and Cas work through their issues in monsterland.)

TITLE: every inch of my life

SUMMARY: Post-season 15, in a version where Dean doesn't die and Cas is back from the Empty. Gabriel shows up with some mischief in mind, hurtling them through classic porn tropes.

TITLE: one more time (WIP)

SUMMARY: Set during the s15 divorce arc. What if Cas got captured by a djinn. What if he experienced his moment of ‘true happiness’ while caught in its dream, and it summoned the Empty. What if Dean saved Cas from the djinn, only to have a portal of black goo open up in front of them?

TITLE: lapse and fall again

SUMMARY: A post-finale fix-it fic where Dean doesn't die. Instead, he pulls Cas out of the Empty. Eventually, after the reunion, there's romance and a road trip, but not specifically in that order.

TITLE: like a tidal wave I'll make a mess

SUMMARY: 5 Times Dean and Cas Get Mistaken for a Couple (and 1 Time They Actually Are)

TITLE: and I will pull my whole heart up to the surface

SUMMARY: 15x20 fix-it fic. Heaven feels perfect, until suddenly it doesn't.

TITLE: here's a map, here's a shovel, here's my achilles heel

SUMMARY: Post-15x19. Turns out, Dean doesn't have to ask to get Cas back.

TITLE: sink

SUMMARY: "Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

TITLE: dry and blown like dust

SUMMARY: They worry first about angel doings and once-dormant plagues and monster illnesses from cursed objects around the bunker, but Sam WebMD's Cas' symptoms and diagnoses him with: the flu. Set in s9.

TITLE: Mr & Mr Winchester

SUMMARY: "No pet names, I popped the damn question, and you're the girl." (Or, Dean and Castiel: fake-married. Set in a hypothetical s9.)

TITLE: lights down low

SUMMARY: When Dean comes to, it's with a fuzzy, head-pounding disorientation. He's on his back, on the ground, that much he immediately knows, where there's an overgrown lawn cushioning what must've been one hell of a landing. (Or, my excuse to do a canon-compliant Dean/Cas rom-com.)

TITLE: the morning when it's clear

SUMMARY: Post-8.02 Purgatory fic. When it all goes to shit, and obviously it does, it feels like the world is splintering open. That's probably because it is.

✨

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

TITLE: 99 problems (and a stitch ain't one) (WIP)

SUMMARY: Dean gets a job at a craft store to woo and date ladies, but his plans backfire because his boss is the v. annoying but v. dreamy Castiel, who might be the actual temptation.

TITLE: Wedding Guy

SUMMARY: Cas slips Dean his number at a wedding, and a friendship/relationship takes off from there.

TITLE: on higher grounds

SUMMARY: (based off a tumblr post) charity collector cas who has a spot outside dean’s favourite book store in town and who always looks so cold despite the huge scarf he wears so dean takes to bringing him hot chocolate every day and cas gets this little smile every time he sees dean coming down the street

TITLE: a way not steep

SUMMARY: Dean's twenty-six and his roommate's a guy who cries during E.T.

TITLE: like only a best friend could

SUMMARY: They're both 18 now and Cas is going off to college and Dean's. Well, Dean's probably headed for a fun future of 'would you like fries with that?' and sometimes it scares him so much he thinks about running away too. Like their dads.

✨

CROSSOVER/FUSION

TITLE: Filming Jesus

FANDOMS: Community, Supernatural

SUMMARY: God is not here, Dean. (Or, Jeff and Annie meet Dean and Castiel. Set during Community s3 and SPN s5.)

TITLE: 11 characters that never were the slayer

FANDOMS: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, The Office, Community, Glee, Parks & Rec, Gilmore Girls, etc etc.