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Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy- Patreon

Hello! We’ve been getting asks about what our series are about, and we wanted to show you guys a little piece of what we have on there 🫶 this is a series about rancher and cowboy h, and Y/N is very happy to be getting a job out on the infamous ranch with her passion for the horses and the beauty of the land.
WC- 1.6k
Here is our sneak peek! You can join us on Patreon for multiple exclusive series (100+ pieces) and early access to our writing.
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The place was fucking gorgeous… but that didn’t seem to compare to the cowboy showing her around. Jesus Christ, the man was something of a movie star quality man.
He was polite and charming. Holding his hand out to take hers when they’d have to move over a bit of rougher terrain, his calloused fingers gently caressing hers with a sly smile. The hat on his head shaded his eyes so he could look properly, giving her eye contact the entire time. Chillingly hot eye contact that had her feeling a bit weak in the knees. Soft green, greener than the grass in the fields that sprawled the ranch.
“I think you’d like workin’ here. It’s a family for sure.” He hummed, moving his hat off to brush his longer locks out of his face and adjusting the hat back on. He was bronzed and golden skinned from working outside, a light dusting of freckles just barely visible from her distance. Carved cheekbones and sharp jawline but dimples deeper than the valley, he was a god like being standing in front of her with a sweet disposition he probably hid a bit from others.
“I think so, yes. It’s my dream. You know? It’s a bit cheesy to some at the school… everyone’s always dreaming to run off to the city. But I love the place. The animals. The air.” She murmured, looking around the ranch. Y/N was hyper aware of the warm form of the man next to her, and the fact he was looking at her. Never had she experienced such an attentive man in terms of talking to her. No checking of his phone, no looking away.
She also was unaware of how Harry was genuinely a bit in awe of her. The starry eyed cowboy drinking in her essence and watching carefully as she spoke. Observing the details he hadn’t managed before. Beating himself up over not having known her before. Because, how? A girl in their area who wanted to stay? Who genuinely loved his land? That was a rarity. It wasn’t going to take much to have him be taken with her.
“I think that’s Amazin’.” He smiled, placing his hand on the small of her back and leading her towards the barn where their personal horses were kept. “You’re like me then. Content with home. Everyone says… they want wild adventures. Don’t even bother lookin’ in their own backyard. And that’s a damn shame, cause there’s plenty.” He spoke as they walked. Her eyes trailed his petal pink lips, the slight stubble left on the skin on his face, the radiance in his entire being. Harry was truly one of a kind. Even with dirt smudged on his jeans, clunky cowboy boots and the occasional scratch on his hand he managed to be graceful and smooth.
“Exactly.” She chirped, excited that he got it. “To me… there’s nothing like the festivals downtown. Learning to make new things. Finding a new watering hole or mapping out the land. I love the bonfires and cookouts. I don’t know. I find there’s a beauty in simplicity.” She turned to look at him, eyes squinted for a moment before they adjusted to the sun. It was beautiful outside despite the heat. The blue skies elevated her mood, but she did think that it was mostly attributed to the man guiding her around.
Harry felt his heart swell and a round of hopeful caterpillar‘s making their cocoons inside of his stomach. So many times he’s been hoping to find someone of a similar mindset. Someone he could get close to and not worry about them wanting to run off later down the line. It just felt… nice. Comforting. Knowing someone else felt the same as he did.
“You get me, Sweets.” He lightly flexed his hand on her back as his smile widened. Harry was a skeptic romantic. Meaning he held his cards close before he let them show. He’s flirt and tease but playfully. It wasn’t real unless he felt secure. Something he felt more and more of each time this pretty girl opened her mouth. A dangerous combination for him.
His approval made her giddy, having to stop herself from skipping as he opened the barn door up with a creaky slide. “We’re getting new doors on the barn so it doesn’t cause such a ruckus. But this barn is for our personal horses. I’ve got a few, but my soul partner is right over here.” He led her over to a large black stallion. A white star shaped mark right between his eyes. “His name is Perseus. Or Percy, for short.” He grinned widely at the giggle that left her mouth, his hand stroking over his nose with gentle affection.
“Percy, hm?” She looked at Harry for approval before stroking the side of the horse’s strong neck. “What a beautiful big boy.” A gentle coo had the hose sighing. A sign of relaxation, making her beam. “Yes, you are a strong, Handsome one. I can tell.” Her hands worked over the front of the horse with a cooed affection that had Harry- in simpler terms- about to act up.
He was far closer to his horses than people realized. He loved his animals and had a special connection to them, but especially Percy. His best friend. He’d gotten him for his 21st, and ever since they’d been attached at the hip. “Oh, he likes you.” His deep voice rumbled through her stomach and almost made her jump. “He doesn’t usually take to stranger so fast. Got ‘im begging for attention. He will eat it up when he like ‘ya.”
So would Harry. He felt a little pathetic being jealous for wanting the girl to be stroking at his face like that. She had smooth hands.
“Does he get that from his Daddy?”
The giggled tease had Harry caught of guard but sent him into a laugh, head thrown back at the gall. This woman was something else… and it was calling right to him. A bit of banter was sexy. Especially teasing.
“Maybe so. But it takes a special woman to get men like us to behave like mere pups.” He hummed, leaning his hip against the stall door.
“Mhm. I bet that’s true.” She looked at him from under her lashes with a coy smile before returning her attention to the stallion.
I’ll be damned. He thought. This was the fastest a woman had managed to tangle Harry up in a lasso, but it seemed like he was pulling it tighter than she had even meant to.
“How many personal horses are then?” Her question snapped him out of his fantasy in his mind. Not an appropriate one to be having about a staff member but Harry knew that in his gut, she would be far more than that.
“I have 3. Percy, here.” He nudged his chin towards him. “Then we’ve got Athena. And Cash.” He pointed towards a paint mare and a chestnut… what seemed to be thoroughbred stallion. “Those are mine. Over there are my fathers two, and my mothers one though she doesn’t ride often. Hers is used more for riding lessons and all that. Sister got some too. So… 8. We got room for two more personal. Staff and ranch hands, if they got ‘Em, keep them in the commercial barns. There’s a lot of ‘em here.” Though she knew that. “I’m assuming you’ll like to spend time with all of them.”
“Well… Percy is a favorite so far.” She grinned towards the horse. “But you’d be right. I adore all animals but horses.. they’re a soft spot for me. I want to have a few of my own one day.” She said it shyly. It was stupid to be shy and Y/N knew that. Harry got it more than anymore but there was still that residual shame she felt from peers when she said she was happy where she was and wanted to keep going. She didn’t have the same wanderlust as everyone else.
“Hey.” He took a risk, gently lifting her chin up with his thumb. “Nothin’ wrong with that. Don’t know why you’re embarrassed when m’the one who just gushed over lovin’ my horses.” He teased lightly, keeping those pretty eyes of hers locked with his. “I’m glad… I’ve met someone who’s like me. Everyone in a rush to leave and fail to see how much fun and how beautiful life can be when you enjoy what you’ve got. The horses, the nature, everything. Everyone at school has those big city dreams. That’s fine n’dandy for them, but you n’me? We get it. We like how we were raised and we are comfortable being here. Don’t let ‘em haunt you. You can be open here. In fact… I’d love to see more of you like that. It’s not every day you come across a pretty little thing with a good head on her shoulders. My momma will eat you up and be happy you’re around. Some sense, she’ll say.” He gently stroked her chin before letting his hand drop. It was pathetic for her to miss the rough pad of the finger on her smooth skin, but she did.
“Yeah?” She asked shyly, looking up at him while shifting back and forth from heel to toe. A childlike comfort that Harry found to be fucking adorable.
“Yeah, Darlin’. Don’t worry about any of ‘em here. You’ve got me… and a whole load of other folks who have pride in loving where they’re from. “ he paused, taking in the sparkly flint in her eyes though she was a bit shy. It made him feel all the more eager to protect her, to make her see she was one of them. “I think you’ll fit in here just fine.”
#sneak peek#cowboy!harry#harry styles cowboy#COWBOYRRY#save a horse ride a cowboy#jarofstyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry smut#harry angst#harry fluff#harry styles au#harry fanfic#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fic
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Skyrim VR is interesting because it's like the polar opposite of Half Life: Alyx. Skyrim VR is extremely bad stock, because they did the bare minimum required to make it work and threw it out the door, as a joke. Alyx is incredibly well designed to work well in VR, the levels are all perfectly designed around it, the interface is smooth and fluid and constrained specifically for this. Skyrim is a game where you spend 50% of your time in menus.
As a result, mods have sprung up to fix Skyrim VR but they can't do it by streamlining Skyrim because the fun of Skyrim is being able to do all that shit, so instead it's about trying to make interacting with menus turbo-efficient. Well it's also about correctly handling inverse kinematics and having weapons that deal damage proportional to speed and also the usual texture and bug fixes. But a lot of it is menus! How can you cram as many UI elements into things that you can do with your body.
Press these buttons and summon a huge floating menu of items in front of you. You can stash weapons on your back, on your hips, on your forearms, wherever. There's a few mods that run voice recognition on your mic which allows you to do everything from talking to NPC's to voice-selecting equipment to actually doing the dragon shouts in real life and having them register.
It's incredibly clunky but the tradeoff is that Skyrim was already made 15 years ago so unlike other VR games they don't have to make a profit on this one, they already have a game world the size of Manhattan that you can walk around in, and it feels like it! It's fucking huge! Solitude is like. A small city in the game, right, it's a comically small city, but when you actually have to stand in there and feel the stone walls tower over you and walk through the arches and step inside the buildings it feels enormous.
I think my wireless VR thing is giving me some bad rendering artifacts but it might just be LOD? Not sure. It looks really good in some places are really dated in others, even with mods. Might need to figure that out. I wasn't getting headache but this would probably be rough on other people, although I did turn off all the anti-motion-sickness vignettes. Anti motion sickness design is interesting because it makes a lot of sense but really constrains designers a lot, and I think that a lot of heavy VR users either have or gain a knack for just handling horribly mixed motion input. I never really suffered from motion sickness other than in one poorly programmed game (Fantastic Contraption) and you can just throw me around.
(This has, hmm, interesting interactions with VR pornography, which even more so than other VR video formats targets the lowest common denominator, it really limits the art form when your camera position has to sit in a fixed position and angle. You could do some very interesting things if you didn't have to worry about making half your audience throw up.)
Anyway I spent a couple hours in here with an alternate start just tooling around Solitude doing low level bounties.
Combat is so finicky if you don't have a ton of room, which I don't. You have to suppress your instinct to just jump aside, I whacked some chairs swinging my sword about. Aiming bows is very hard but that might just be practice, these mods make it so that it's more bow-like but it might be worth having a reticle. Magic is obviously the thing to do in VR, stand back and blast enemies with fire and ice, and it has aiming reticles. The mods here adjust the angle so that it comes out of your fingertips instead of your palm so that aiming is more natural. I mention all the tweaks to show just how much this has to be beaten into shape.
Skyrim's slow and unidirectional equipment progression works to your favour here. You simply aren't changing gear that often, so it doesn't matter that menus are kind of clunky. I have a few quick settings to handle basic gear and then weapon wheels on a key combo and that so far has handled it. Being a mage probably involves some horrible weapon wheels but they do theoretically support like 36 items per wheel.
The IK mods allow you to grab NPC's which is funny, not really viable unless you're in 1:1 but you can just pick a guy up and hit him. Comical. A lot of player retune melee combat way way down and I can see why, with a sword you can just wail on someone as fast as you can flick your wrist, it's so easy to score half a dozen hits on something as it runs past you. It would be interesting to make it so you have to swing at the right speed with haptic feedback or something for different weapons, it buzzes you if you're going at the right speed to land an attack.
Skyrim lacks a lot of the intentional sense of space that VR games use, but it trades off on just, scale and stuff. There are a lot of interactable items in any Skyrim location, tables of vegetables, shelves of armour, piles of books, even though they're not made for VR. With the addition of the very popular dimmer lighting mods, caves feel positively abyssal, I was going so slowly through those things.
I could see someone playing this from start to finish like this if they were really committed, with all the tweaks it is a pretty playable game, but it would be a hell of a commitment. I can see why you'd want to have a "sit down and play" mode.
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You’re So Pretty III (Remus x Reader)
A/n: Remus wants more than anything to kiss you, but he just cant. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but avoiding you is even worse. (Also, note that reader in this is shorter than Remus since he’s like 6’2 canonically. Im really sorry if you’re taller than him)
Word count: 6.2k
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Sirius had snatched her up from the couch and spun her around in so many circles she felt dizzy. The skirt to her dress swung back and forth. Music from the old, muggle record player rang out in the common room. Y/N couldn’t stop laughing. She moved so gleefully, barefooted on the carpet to keep her from falling over some clunky shoes.
James was dancing with Lily, and Y/N felt her chest inflate with a bit of pride. For James getting the girl he’s always been dreaming of, and for Lily finally facing her biggest fear of loving that mischievous boy.
She felt light as air. The spiked hot chocolate running through her veins, the smell of peppermint and pine needles in the air, and the flickering light from the fireplace behind her. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard, nor could she remember a time she felt this alive.
Remus sat on the couch, not a drop of liquor running through him. He preferred to stay sober anyway, just to make sure everyone made it out unharmed. He couldn’t help but stare at her though, Y/N L/N, with the most beautiful smile he’d ever laid eyes on. She was dancing with Sirius, as her friend twirled her around and dipped her backwards a bit, causing a squeal to leave her lips.
The two of them looked so incredibly happy to be with each other. Remus felt like he was intruding on their privacy just sitting there taking a peek. The way she smiled so brightly at Sirius, her cheeks flushed and her corners of her eyes crinkled from smiling so much. He could hear her laughter and the way she yelped and clung to him when he dipped her a bit too far back.
Remus was convinced that those two belonged together. They had such a strong friendship. It ruined his mood whenever he saw them so close with each other, not having come to terms with his eventual heartbreak no matter how hard he tried.
When Sirius let go so he could go pour himself another drink, Peter was quick to jump in his place, taking Y/N by the hands and dancing back and forth to the upbeat song. Peter was always quite shy around girls, but Y/N made him feel comfortable. She was just so soft and sweet, kind to a fault. Remus Lupin understood why everyone was so endeared by the girl.
Y/N didn’t mind his furry little problem. Despite all his fears and his doubts, she promised him time and time again that she didn’t mind that he was a werewolf. She would sit in the infirmary for hours just holding his hand and telling him jokes, trying to cheer him up the best she could given the circumstances.
Every time he looked at her, he felt a pang in his chest. Something so strong he thought he might be having a heart attack at times. She would gaze at him with that dreamy look in her eyes, and he would positively melt under her glance, under her smile. She was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.
She was too good for him. Y/N was pure and innocent, never one to get in trouble or hurt anyone else. He was a monster, that much was clear enough. He could harm her if she ever found a way to interfere with his transformation. She might be okay with things now, but if they got any closer, there was a good chance he might chase her away. Still, it was tempting to stand up and wrap his arms around her to dance just like his friends did.
Yet, he wasn’t them. He wasn’t a harmless flirt like Sirius Black, nor was he a quidditch star and hopeless romantic like James Potter, he wasn’t even friendly like Peter Pettigrew. He was just himself, the guy who turned into a beast every full moon and injured himself horribly every time. He was the guy who had scars all over his body, certainly too ugly in comparison with her smooth, soft skin.
So he buried his nose further into the novel he was reading and tried not to think about her. He tried to tune out her contagious laughter, and the beat of the songs. Godric, he tried.
She clutched at Peter’s hands and swung her hips to the music. Even through her slightly tipsy haze, she could feel tension running off Remus into the common room. His hesitation was palpable. Quietly, she excused herself from her dance with the short blond boy, saying she was just gonna get another shot before returning.
She made her way to the coffee table in front of Remus’ seat on the couch. She poured a bit of hot cocoa into her mug and just enough fire whisky for a kick.
“Remus,” she hummed, taking a seat beside him. He shivered at the touch of her thigh flush against his. She was so warm. Her fingers tapped at the edge of his novel, urging for him to shut it.
“Y/N,” he replied, watching as she took a sip of her drink and sighed, feeling that familiar burn in her throat. “Taking a break for a minute?”
“I suppose, but I came over to see you. You don’t seem like you’re having a good time,” the girl told him softly, “Don’t you want to dance with us? Or at least with me?”
His heart skipped a beat at her question. Yes, he would very much want to dance with the girl of his dreams, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. He was just so afraid of messing up.
“I’m just people watching.”
“Oh, come on now. I promise I won’t laugh if you step on my feet,” she giggled, poking him gently in the side. “I’d love to get at least one dance in with each one of you. I’ve already danced with Sirius, Peter, and Jamie. You’re the final piece of the puzzle.”
“Sweetheart, try as you might, I’m not getting up to dance around, even if it is with you.” She felt her heart skip a beat at the nickname. Sure, everyone had names for her, but coming from the dirty blond felt so much more enchanting. She loved when he called her sweetheart, darling, or love. Maybe he used the same terms with other girls, she didn’t know, but she still felt special regardless.
She grabbed the book from out of his hands and stuck the bookmark in between the pages to save his spot. Quickly she took another sip from her mug before extending a hand to him. “Please. For me, Remus,” she asked.
His heart couldn’t say no, even if his brain was begging him to. He took her hand in his, which normally he wouldn’t think so much about, only now he felt like his skin was burning up.
He just liked her so much. He was completely, madly in love with her.
Marlene stood by the record player, looking through Lily’s collection of vinyls, finally deciding on one. Her eyes found their way up to Y/N, where she winked with a little smirk on her lips. The expression confused her for a moment until the record started playing a much slower song than the previous one.
That snake. The betrayal she felt from her friend was too real.
She turned to peer up at Remus, giving him an awkward grin. “We can wait until the next song if you like. This one is more up James and Lily’s alley,” she said nervously, trying not to make it weirder than it already was. Her hand had slipped from his to fiddle with her other hand, picking at her chipping nail polish.
He knew she was right. Maybe they should wait until the next peppy song. Only, he really didn’t want to. He wanted to pull her close to his chest, hold her hands, and twirl her around. Remus shook his head, taking her hand back in his.
Her heart was racing. He wanted to dance with her. Even if it was awfully romantic, he still wanted to. For a moment, she felt hope building up in her chest that this crush she had on him wasn’t unrequited after all. She still smothered down the thought however, considering it more of a fever dream than the truth.
She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck, while his gentle hands sat on her waist. Everything around her was so overwhelming, the touch against her waist, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, the feeling of Marlene and Dorcas staring from their place at the record player. Her eyes couldn’t meet his, instead peering down at her feet.
He took that opportunity to gaze at her; how bashful she was, the way her cheeks were flushed and her nervous smile, her gaze focused down on the floor no doubt because she was embarrassed.
How could she be so comfortable around Sirius for dozens of songs, yet so nervous when it came to a single dance with him? Did she not want to dance with him? Was he too close? He didn’t know what was going through her mind, but naturally his brain went to the worst case scenarios before the positive ones.
“Did you have a fun time tonight?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah. It’s been great. Wish you’d joined the festivities a little earlier though,” she commented, “I know you’re not shy.”
“I just liked seeing everyone happy together. That’s more than enough.”
She nodded, agreeing with him. He was also so observant, watching everyone while they fooled around. He never instigated pranks, but you could bet he was there watching from the side. He was always there trying to make things better for everyone. There were so many things to appreciate about him, like how he offered her chocolate when she was hurt, or when he would sit in the Astronomy tower with her when she was crying.
“I want to see you happy, too,” she told him. “You’re always looking out for everyone else, but what about you?”
“Just being with you is enough,” he confessed, but quickly corrected himself, feeling a bit too awkward with that answer, “With all of you guys, of course.”
If only he’d have kept the first statement, she thought. Of course she wasn’t special like that. She didn’t brighten his day, not like the others did. She was the least beautiful of all the girls, not the smartest either. Remus liked smart girls. Ones that would sit and read with him, study together, talk about random things for hours. She wasn’t that smart, not like the Ravenclaw girls.
Lily was still dancing with James as she peered behind Remus, and Sirius was trying to get Marlene to slow dance despite her opposition to the idea. Peter sat at the table drinking another cup of hot cocoa, but his eyes would trail up every now and then to his group of friends, noticing things about everyone. No doubt the boy noticed the way Remus was staring down at her with puppy love in his eyes, or the way she was now stumbling a bit on her feet as the nerves got to her.
It was wonderful, she thought, as his hands held onto her waist a little tighter, as if she was going to blow away in the wind. Everything was so perfect. The twinkling of the lights around the room, the wreaths with mistletoe hanging from them, the big Christmas tree towards the center of the room lit up with enchanted candles. The windows were frosted over from the snow that day, and she could see the individual snowflakes sparkling when the light hit them just right. It was beautiful.
Y/N was beautiful.
He wanted to kiss her. He never wanted to kiss anyone more than he did right then as the girl pressed her body closer to his so they were rocking back and forth. His heart beat against her ear that rested on his chest, and he prayed it wasn’t racing.
He reached down, tilting her chin up with one hand, the other still wrapped tightly around her. Finally, she had to gaze up at him instead of wandering the room.
It felt like he was going to kiss her. She couldn’t think of anything else. By Godric, she wanted to be kissed by him. It would complete what she already thought was a perfect night. To finally get a kiss from the boy she’d come to fancy far more than she should.
“Rem, what is it?” She whispered. He felt himself leaning closer, but paused before he could go any further.
He opened his mouth to say something, anything really. Yet, no words came out. He just stared at her e/c eyes for a moment before a wave of guilt washed over him.
He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be holding her so close. He shouldn’t be falling in love with her. He didn’t deserve to. A monster, that’s all he was. A disgusting and dangerous beast. Even if she disagreed, it wasn’t fair to her. He hated that his friends helped him with his problem, and he hated even more the thought of Y/N getting swept up into it as well.
He dropped both his hands from her body and took a step back, his eyes now glued to the floor. “I don’t know what came over me, Y/N. I should go.”
As if she could keep him from leaving, the girl grabbed his hand. It broke her heart when he tore his hand from her grip, walking over to the table and grabbing his book for the night.
“Remus, I’m sorry. Whatever I did wrong, I’ll fix it. You don’t have to leave,” she tried to reason with him, practically begging for him not to go. She felt like she’d fucked everything up somehow, made him uncomfortable. She knew it was a wrong idea to dance to this song with him. To try and make something that was just friendly into something romantic.
He just sighed, shaking his head. “You didn’t do anything.”
She watched as he walked up the stairs to the dorm rooms, listening to the door shut and the handle click into place. Her shoulders slumped and she caught the eyes of Marlene and Dorcas by the record player, seeing their sympathetic expressions.
It was okay if Remus didn’t like her back. She wouldn’t have a problem with that. It just hurt to know he didn’t want to do something as simple as dance with her. It hurt to know that he grimaced when he looked down at her. That the sight of her made him want to run away.
She suddenly felt sick. With a thud, she plopped down on the couch beside Sirius and Peter, picking up her mug to take a long sip. “Mind pouring me another, Siri?” Y/N asked, holding out her cup to him.
“Y/N, Moony really didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just confused,” Sirius tried to reassure her, but she only shook her glass, waiting for her drink. At least she could get so drunk she forgot about everything that happened. The raven haired boy poured her another shot.
“It’s okay. I don’t even know why I’m disappointed. We’re only friends.”
Peter looked at Sirius knowingly. Everyone knew except for her and perhaps Remus, but he was good at picking up on things. She didn’t want to be friends, but she couldn’t just ask him out. It was too intimidating.
“Listen, you’re a great girl. Any guy would be lucky to have you, you know that, right?” Sirius asked her, and Peter was quick to nod in agreement.
“I don’t like Remus.” That was a blatant lie.
“Well, if you did, don’t give up on him. He’s rough around the edges, but he really is a good guy.”
She knew he was a good guy. That’s why she fell for him in the first place. He was so kind and charming. Remus was so smart too, leaving her swoon whenever he tutored her in something she struggled with.
She tried to hide her expression, looking off to the floor away from the boys. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, and she bit her lip to hide her quickened breaths. It was always hard accepting the fact that Remus didn’t like her, not in the way she liked him.
“Oh no, angel, please don’t cry,” Sirius pleaded, noticing the way her eyes had begun glistening with fresh tears. He raised his hand, one lifting her head softly while the other ran a thumb across her cheeks, brushing away the droplets that fell. “I promise, it’s going to be okay.”
“Then why does he do that?” She asked, quite pathetically. She appreciated Sirius for talking to her about this, and chose to keep her secret safe and sound. “He leads me on and then runs away. Does he not realize what he’s doing?” She wiped the tears from her eyes but they were quick to gather again. Remus had to make everything so difficult sometimes.
She was so confused in how she felt. On one hand, she absolutely, without a doubt, loved Remus Lupin with all her heart. On the other hand, she felt like giving up. Time and time again he made her feel special, made her feel loved and cared for, only for him to correct himself. He would leave her standing there, crestfallen and thinking she had done something wrong.
A sob escaped her lips, and she was quick to latch onto Sirius. Her hands clutched at the back of his shirt while she pressed her face into his collar. She just cried while he brushed down her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly. She could count on the Black to be there whenever something happened between her and his best mate.
“Y/N, you’re a catch if I’ve ever seen one. Don’t let ol’ Moony bring you down,” Peter tried to soothe her, reaching up to place a hand on her knee.
“He doesn’t deserve you, angel,” Sirius muttered against her head.
Despite his soothing, she kept crying until she’d run out of tears for the night. She bid Sirius a goodnight before heading into her dorm. She curled tightly into a ball once in the comfort of her own bed. In her hands was Remus’ sweater, which she hugged to her chest. She was such a dumbass for getting attached to an emotionally unavailable boy.
The worst part is, no matter what he did, she still loved him.
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“You absolute prat! You’ve got to stop fucking with her feelings,” Sirius scolded after entering their dorm room and shutting the door so anyone left lingering in the halls or the common room couldn’t eavesdrop. He glared at his friend who laid in his bed with a pillow covering his head.
“Leave me alone, Pads,” the boy groaned, refusing to move the pillow from his head, instead hugging it tighter to his face. A part of him wished he could smother himself and make all of this end.
Sirius rolled his eyes, walking over to his own bed and sitting back against the headboard while his feet stretched toward the end of the bed. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t have to make her cry.”
“She cried?”
“Yeah, not that you stuck around to see it. She thinks you hate her. That you’re disgusted by her,” Sirius told him with a scowl. He was awfully protective of the girl, finding her shyness adorable and her excitement for the little things in life to be admirable. It sucked seeing her chasing after someone and having her heart broken time and time again.
He’d never tell Remus that Y/N had a crush on him. That wasn’t his place. However, he wouldn’t let Remus get away with treating her like shit while they were “just friends”.
Remus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, finally tearing the pillow off his face and letting it drop to the floor. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Maybe bloody kiss her when you’re clearly thinking about it. Ever thought of that?”
“And if she doesn’t like me? Then what?”
Remus was still convinced Y/N had a thing for Sirius. She was always smiling when she was with him. She let him flirt with her all he wanted and he noticed the way her face flushed when he was particularly bold. He noticed them hanging out when no one else was around. He noticed all of it, and it hung over him like a storm cloud. Genuinely, it made him feel so isolated. His best mate and the only girl he’d ever really cared for like this, together doing Godric knows what.
“Then you go back to being friends. Does she seem like the judgemental type?”
“No, but it would be awkward.”
“Only if you make it awkward.”
Remus sighed deeply, rolling over on his side to face his friend, his head propped up in his palm. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t be with her.”
Sirius already knew all about what Remus was talking about. He had droned on about it before, how he was so afraid of him being a werewolf and being in a relationship with anyone, much less Y/N. “Don’t start with the self-deprecating shit, mate. You know she doesn’t care if you’re a werewolf or not.” It was a pretty lousy excuse if you asked him. “She loves you, Moony.”
“She does not love me,” Remus argued back, confident in his reply, more confident than he was in most anything in the world. She loves you, he wanted to say. The thought was headache inducing, making him sick to the stomach.
And that was the end of it. No matter what Sirius said, it all went right through Remus. He was determined to keep this girl at arms’ length, even if it tore him up inside to do so. She was just so lovely. She plagued his every waking thought when she was in the room, or even when someone simply mentioned her. Yet, she didn’t care for him that way. They just happened to be friends.
Not to mention the boy was far from blind when it came to love, like the ones he read about in his novels. The looks and touches he’d seen between Y/N and his friend were remarkably full of love and care, something she didn’t have with him. If only Sirius could see that, maybe then he could be the one to make her happy. Instead, he was here lecturing him on how to make Y/N happy. Perhaps if he wasn’t such a flirt, none of this would even be a problem.
He just groaned into his pillow and shut himself out from the world around him, no longer responding to what Sirius had to say to him. He was done. He was done with all this nonsense. All this romance bullshit, no matter how much it made his heart race or the gears turn in his mind. He was done.
______
Only, that was harder said than done when seeing her in person after that night.
She continued to be lovely, friendly, normal - only now he could sense the waves of sadness and discomfort that poured off her person when the group hung out together.
Her heart ached since Remus ran away from her. He had done similar before, but she always forgave him. He was complicated. He was secretive with his emotions. That was one of many things she’d come to respect about him after knowing him for so many years.
She cried that night, and when the other girls came to bed, they comforted her. She didn’t have to tell them what happened. They already knew. It seemed like everyone around her knew about her crush on him.
But life goes on, and she woke up the next morning to the rest of the girls getting ready for class. She pinched her cheeks to bring some life into them, and watched as her smile turned up in the mirror, making sure it was as genuine as it usually was. She was a strong girl, and one incredibly handsome and charming boy was not going to bring her crumbling down. She’d done enough crying.
Sitting next to Remus at the table was far from comfortable, but she was able to do it. She just leaned a little bit further into Sirius’ side than she normally would, something that made Remus feel more defeated than anything. He had given up on pursuing her, almost entirely, only the remnants of his heart still yearning for her. As he watched the way she cuddled up on him, it wasn’t hard to see she found comfort in the raven haired boy.
He could only sigh to himself, dipping his spoon into his porridge for another depressing bite.
She also talked a bit more with James than she ever would in one sitting, with the two of them having so little in common. She took the time to compliment all the girls on their hair and makeup that morning. She talked to Lily about their Potions class that afternoon, and the book she had propped up in front of her. Anything to keep herself from having to discuss with Remus what happened that night before. Anything to avoid talking to him in general, actually.
Breakfast went by slowly, as did their Transfiguration class where Y/N sat in her normal seat beside her friend, who she desperately wanted to be more-than-a-friend. She tried to think of a way she could find herself escaping this terribly unfortunate situation involving unrequited love. She could confess to the boy on the off chance he actually did reciprocate, but that seemed highly unlikely.
She could try and find someone else to fancy for the rest of their seventh year, but she doubted that would happen. He was just so perfect, no one else would compare. No one looked like him, nor did they sound like him or smell the same. There was no one as intelligent as him besides sweet Lily, and she certainly wasn’t going to fancy the red headed girl.
The only option seemed to be just living with her crush until it naturally went away. As miserable as that suggestion seemed, it was the most sound of all her ideas.
She found herself so distracted that she didn’t even notice when McGonagall called on her, “Miss L/N, please do answer the question.”
The seconds passed like minutes and she found her mouth growing dry from embarrassment. How could she be so careless? She almost never zoned out during class, much less found herself being challenged by a professor. She wasn’t lovestruck like James, was she?
Just as she was about to admit defeat, Remus tapped the edge of his notebook. Written down was the word, “avifors spell” which she quickly found herself repeating aloud.
“Thank you. Please pay attention, everyone.”
An exhale of relief left her lips, and she peered over at Remus with grateful eyes. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ and he just nodded with a small smile.
She tried to ignore how he made her feel the rest of their day together. When they studied in the library because it was a Thursday and they weren’t going to break their schedule, she tried smothering the butterflies that fluttered. She felt his soft gaze trained on her as she stared down at her homework. She tried her hardest to swallow her gasp when he leaned over her shoulder, his face dangerously close to hers, pointing out her mistakes on the worksheet. She desperately wished she could ignore the smell of parchment and chocolate wafting off his body as he spoke to her.
“Y/N? Are you alright?” he asked, breaking her from her daze. She nodded, quickly marking the paper where he had questioned one of her answers. “We can stop for the day, if you want-”
“You’re probably right. I feel like my brain is totally fried from all this studying,” she replied quickly, shutting her textbook and setting her quill on the table beside her worksheets. She was dying to finish up this study session so she could crawl back into her bed and pretend that she didn’t spend the first half of the day with her massive crush who definitely didn’t like her back.
He furrowed a brow, having thought the day’s session had gone by quite fast. He didn’t like it. Usually she sat with him for a good hour or two just discussing the day, talking about books and gossip and whatever else she had on her mind. Instead, it seemed she was running away from him. He should have expected that though, knowing what he had done the night before.
Regardless, he packed up his belongings right alongside her, making sure the last of his inkwells was thoughtfully tucked away before motioning for her to follow him out into the hallways. With a ducked head, she followed him, not wanting to seem weird going her own way when they normally would walk back to the common room together. She tried to ignore the shivers that went down her spine when their fingers skimmed against each other walking side by side.
If she were brave, or maybe stupid, she would have reached out to hold his hand. She itched to touch him. To feel him pressed against her again like the night before when they danced together. God, she just wanted to hold his hand. It wasn’t crude or vulgar at all, but she felt so inappropriate - so wrong for wanting him when he clearly wasn’t interested in her.
Perhaps he could sense her trepidation, or maybe she was just very obvious in how uncomfortable she felt, but he cautiously approached the topic, “Darling?” he asked quietly, with all the sincerity and care he normally displayed.
She couldn’t deny the skip of her heart at the sweet nickname, one of many that he used for her. Whether she was his dove, love, or darling, it made her heart jump. “Yes, Remus?” she replied, stopping and turning to look back at him, craning her neck up to meet his eyes, his gorgeous eyes that caught the sunlight coming in from the windows, honey brown and golden.
“I can tell something is wrong,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck and fluffing up his hair nervously.
“Really, it’s okay-”
“No, it’s really not,” he said firmly, Sirius’ lecture from the night before running through his mind. He thought of her crying when he ran off to his dormitory, feeling like shit after being abandoned like that. He thought of her that morning at breakfast doing her best to ignore him, biting her lip to keep the frown from reaching her lips. He continued, “I’m so stupid. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel unwanted.”
Unexpectedly, Remus reached out, taking one of her delicate hands in his own, running a thumb along her knuckles. She stood there as calmly as she could, but her heart was beating a mile a minute and she prayed to Godric that he couldn’t tell from her expression. He was too busy worrying about his own racing heart and sudden dry mouth to notice anyway. “I was scared.”
She asked, so quiet it was a wonder he even heard her, “Scared of what?”
He took a deep breath before explaining himself, drawing her towards the corner of the corridor, away from prying eyes. She felt herself grow even more flushed, knowing they were tucked in this secluded little corner while he held her hand so carefully in his own. She had that familiar feeling creep up and sink its fangs into her, daring her to act on thoughts she shouldn’t be having. Thoughts that entailed reaching up on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his lips, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Thoughts of grabbing his cheeks in her hands and pulling him down to meet her halfway.
The heavy grandfather clock at the end of the hall ticked as time slowly passed, and she waited with baited breath for him to reply.
“Scared of how much you mean to me. You’re my best friend, Y/N. I know you’re a smart girl, and you’re incredibly brave, but you know I have my problems…” he tried to say.
“Remus! Shush. You know that means nothing to me. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.”
“Which is exactly why you’re blind to the reality that I am dangerous, and I don’t want you getting into harm’s way,” he argued back as she stared at him, her eyes glazed over with something he didn’t quite recognize. “I’m worried about you. I care about you so fucking much, Y/N.”
“But-”
“But, the more time you spend with me, the closer you get to seeing the worst parts of me. That’s what I’m scared of.” He paused, his chest lifting heavily and falling back down. “I need you to understand that. I-I need you, and I can’t keep you if I scare you away.” His words shook, and she felt his hands begin to shake as they held onto her own. She clutched him a bit tighter, trying to calm him down.
She swore her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest at his words, those desperate words that fell from his lips. It was almost like he was telling her he loved her. Almost.
But they were only best friends. He’d made that clear.
“I care about you, too, Remus. I’ll do whatever is best for you. That’s what I want.”
“What’s best for me is that you’re happy and safe.”
She flushed at his words, finding herself growing hot in the face and lowering her head to hide her flustered expression. He had such a way with words, one that made her positively swoon. How did he not notice? He was awfully charming and romantic for someone who seemingly refused to even try and date.
The words hung off his lips, waiting to fall out in the open after all this time. I love you, he wanted to say. I love you so fucking much it hurts, he wanted to cry. Yet, he couldn’t do it.
He peered over her shoulder at the walkway, catching sight of James and Sirius walking down the corridor towards them. He motioned in their direction, and quickly he dropped her hand, taking a modest step away from her. With confusion and hurt in her eyes, she looked back to him as the blood drained from her cheeks. Was he embarrassed to be close to her around his guy friends? Was holding her hand that serious of a crime that it warranted such abruptness?
Much to her displeasure, she was caught off guard when Remus seemingly bumped her in Sirius’ direction, actually causing her to stumble into the dark-haired boy and latch onto his arms to steady herself.
She turned back to peer at him, questioning what he was doing, only to find his eyes glued elsewhere. He stared at the broom that James held in his hands, the one he was excitedly talking about. His eyes were clearly just there so he could avoid her gaze, one that flashed with heartache. That boy sure had a way with breaking hearts, she thought, feeling herself beginning to fall limp against her other friend.
“Why hello, angel,” Sirius laughed, helping her regain her footing. The laughter from his mouth, however, was awkward, and his eyes flashed nervously between Remus and Y/N as they had come to do so often recently. He sensed the tension, and he noticed the sadness that plagued Y/N like a rain cloud perpetually above her head. “Not interrupting, are we?” he asked cautiously.
“No, we were just talking.” But he knew that was a lie. James seemed to be the only one oblivious to the situation at hand. She frowned, her eyes leaving Remus and lifting to find those of her concerned friend. “Hey, Sirius, James.”
“Hey, guys. We were just heading to the dining hall for lunch. You coming with?”
“Sure,” Y/N said, but Remus had other plans.
“Actually, I have somewhere I’ve got to be. I’ll see you at dinner though,” Remus said, waving to his friends as he took a few steps backward. The three of them watched him go, and when he finally turned the corner, Y/N let her shoulders drop heavily, a sigh leaving her lips. So much for the little moment they were having before.
He certainly had a habit of running away when she needed him there the most, didn’t he?
Part Four is out. (Honestly, as I write this I’m finding myself rooting for Sirius a bit ngl. Should I do two endings, one for Sirius and one for Remus perhaps?)
#harry potter#harry potter x reader#remus lupin x reader#harry potter fanfic#remus lupin#marauders era#hp fanfic#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin x you
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Downton Abbey Fashion 89 - wedding gowns in 1925
We have three brides this season (well, Isobel marries Lord Merton at some point, but that happens offscreen, so, no dress to talk about): Mrs Hughes, Mary, and Edith, respectively warranting the comments nice and appropriate, underwhelming, and so pretty!

Mrs Hughes in Cora’s velvet coat. Making this a whole story arc was kind of not warranted when, y’know, we’ve never actually seen Cora wear this coat, so I don’t get the feeling that she would miss it. But alright. It harmonizes well with the lavender dress, although I would’ve liked it if the belt had a little trim or something that would make it pop more. As it is, the buckle looks a little random in the middle of nowhere. But let’s focus on the glorious applications instead! Purple flowers on a lot of white wavy leaves, and it’s paired with that charming lace-brimmed hat. I also cannot help my love for smooth, well-done box pleats.

I’m glad they took off the huge fur and the clunky hem trim before Mrs Hughes wore this. Honestly, I’m not sure why the fur was a part of this in the first place; usually, they wear separate fur stolas on top of their coats. Cora, what on earth were you keeping in your dust corner there? I’m wondering a little why Mrs Hughes, who’s presumably a virgin well into her 50s, won’t marry in white (whereas Mary, who is very officially not a virgin anymore, with a child in wedlock and all, does wear white, or at least champagne, even for the second go), but that’s more of an idle notion than a concern because this ensemble looks very nice on her and fits the down-to-earth vibe of her wedding. Although I find it ironic that, after all her insistence on the wedding being hers and not one of House Crawley, she does marry in the Crawleys’ signature dusty purple.
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Mary’s second wedding look is. Well, it is a second wedding, and a very quick one at that, but I’m still underwhelmed. Mary, you could at least repeat the flowers on the hat; there’s not much on it except a bit of ruffled tulle! I do like her hair for a change, at least in the front because she still refuses to even out that fur patch in the nape of her neck. But why is this so unspectacular? This is not a charity tea; this is her wedding! And she has prided herself from the start of the series as a fashion queen, and dares to show up in this bland outfit.

If I have to suffer, so do you: Frock Flicks pointed out that this dress has a giant V pointing at Mary’s vagina, and now I can’t unsee it. I suspect the deep cut down the front was supposed to bring in some drama, but the zigzag lace band is not not showy enough for that. I’ll say this: Overall, I think the lower part of the outfit is better than the boring upper half; it has a sweet knife-pleated skirt and kick pleats in the back of the coat. Still. Mary, for this coat to work, you should have filled out the front V at least with a shiny damask pattern.
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And Edith, mah gurl, gets her happy ending! And looks pretty damn glorious in the process. Fun fact, she wears not one, but two lovely tiaras for the occasion, the little curlicue number for her veiled look to church, and later for the party a more streamlined one with lots of pearls, including a fashionable tassel design at the side of her head that is, yep, more pearls. Which, instead of crushing the impression of the lace under it or being crushed by it, perfectly harmonizes with it. Thank Edith’s taste that the necklace is a very simple deal and she lets her tiaras be the only noteworthy jewelry.
The dress itself is a fairly simple deal in terms of shape, 1920s-typical length, sleeves a little more fitted than I would expect (and also pretty short for a winter wedding; Edith is the only woman in that church who’s not wearing fur), and then there is this lovely neckline. Who ever came up with that particular lace was a goddamn genius. It’s not only the neckline; some of the glory also goes to the skirt hem, layers of lightweight, translucent scallops. It doesn’t try to be all glam’n’glitz, and there have been more spectacular looks on the show, but this fits her character so well and she makes a lovely bride.
To be honest, I would make less of a fuss about this if it were only the outfit she wore to her party, the basic dress. But what she wears to church has, one, a very long lace cape down from the shoulders that I’m in love with, and two, a glorious cathedral veil. The cape and the veil are not easy to tell apart; they kind of fuse into each other, and imho they lift this outfit from quite pretty to stunning. The dress is fairly simple in and of itself, but the composition of the entire look? Gorgeous.
#Downton Abbey#historical fashion#Downton Abbey's costume fund#this would be the point where I start presenting the movies' dresses to top this off with a nice tidy bow#buuuut I still haven't really watched them and I'm currently ill and not in the mood for Downton#so that will just have to wait
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IM GOING TO. ramble about an uty headcanon/theory? now SPOILERS
SO THIS is a drawing in Kanako’s room of what appears to be Axis, its meant to be Axis right! (theres an obvious drawing of Dalv too so she’s drawing other characters and we are meant to assume she knows them)

BUT something that sticks out to me is that the heart on Axis’ chest is upside down! (and there are other slight differences too - no gear, lightbulb, or ear things?)
I love the sibling dynamic Axis and Kanako headcanons and drawings they are like my favourite thing, but if Kanako had met Axis 014, how would she get these details wrong?
These could just be errors in memory or artistic ability, she seems very young after all, BUT THAT ANSWER IS WAY LESS FUN THAN RANDOM SPECULATION!!!!!!!
SO. My little headcanon theory is that this drawing is a design that Kanako came up with for a guard robot that Chujin asked her to draw, then he modelled Axis (014 at the least) off of. Kanako is a young monster who wouldn’t know humans had upward facing souls, and only ever seen/known about monsters downward facing souls, so would draw a heart shape that way (then Chujin changed this when building Axis, for some reason)
There is no *proof* for this other than the idea that Kanako is “gifted like her father too” (which is most likely supposed to be referring to the fact they are boss monsters considering the trailed off “she’s a” following), but I like to imagine its also about a creating/art talent since the accompanying picture of Kanako has her painting the mask. Implying to me that Chujin and Kanako could have drawn/created things together and one day the idea of designing a robot (since it was on Chujin’s mind from the steamworks employee reports and letters) came up.

And THAT is where Axis’ (kind of clunky and strange compared to a more sleek and smooth looking robot like guardener that was being built and designed at the same time, showing the capabilities of robot designs) design comes from (this also could explain why the other robot parts in Chujin’s office look a good bit different to how Axis 014 looks).
There is Also nothing to my memory that strictly DISPROVES this, HOWEVER consider this fun value pillar, the fun value pillars in the dark ruins tell the story of the day the integrity human attacked Dalv, Kanako was there, and Chujin sent Axis (014 as we know from his geno route confession and giving exp) after them, killing them accidentally, right?

And it was Dalv (also known to draw, and was attacked by integrity, and is now in the dark ruins) who is the one who drew on these pillars right? So that implies that Dalv saw what happened (most unlikely because Axis followed integrity to Waterfall), heard what happened (unknown from who) or figured out/imagined what happened. In any case it implies that he saw Axis at least once, enough to draw him (even abstractly like this).
I’ve seen the assumption that Axis was there in Snowdin with Chujin, Kanako, and Dalv, (which is fun to think about i think AND matches dalv seeing/knowing axis) BUT in the first Chujin tape where he discusses the event he says no one was there to protect Kanako, which you'd think Axis would be doing if he was there in Snowdin with them.

But where Axis actually was is more ambiguous. In the secret secret tape Chujin says he “should’ve stayed” implying to me that he left the scene to go get Axis from the Steamworks/his office lab basement/wherever, meaning that Dalv couldn’t have seen Axis on that occasion. I also feel like if Axis was in Snowdin it would have been mentioned at some point by someone.

So this scenario doesn’t explain how Dalv saw Axis to be able to draw him. While if Axis WAS in Snowdin that doesnt explain how Kanako would get so many details wrong drawing him, especially if they spent a lot of time/more than one time together.
FURTHERMORE the pacifist route shows that Ceroba and Axis have never seen eachother before either (Chujin also didn’t add Ceroba to Axis’ authorised list by default, implying he didn’t think they’d ever come across eachother?) So if Chujin had Axis and Kanako meet this had to somehow be without Ceroba knowing At All.
(HOWEVER since Ceroba watched Chujin’s tapes she is lying in some way during the pacifist Steamworks because she would have heard the name “Axis” and found out how Chujin got the Integrity soul, so should know more than she lets on about his robotics projects.)
This also implies that Ceroba hasn’t been in Kanako’s room in a long time, maybe even before Kanako fell down, or she would have seen the Axis drawing on the floor. It makes sense that she would avoid Kanako’s room though.
FOR MY FINAL “HOWEVER” I will say that this raises the question of Why the Axis drawing is still on the floor with a pencil, this kind of implies that it might have been the last/most recent thing that Kanako drew, or had gotten out to look at/add too. If Axis 014 is based off the drawing it would be a long time between the Initial drawing -> Chujin builds and codes 014 -> The Snowdin event -> Chujin experiments and falls down -> Kanako falls down -> the events of the game
BUT even between the Snowdin event (the latest time Kanako could have seen Axis, since after that i imagine Chujin would have kept him fully confined to the Steamworks since he was “dangerous”) and the events of the game thats still quite a long time for the drawing to be sat there, so maybe that doesn’t mean much.
THE EXPLANATION I THOUGHT OF MADE ME SO SAD but i have to include this thought, that after the Snowdin event, and especially with Chujin getting very absorbed in his work then starting to fall down, Kanako would have stopped drawing and just left all of her work around her room, and had the Axis one out as it reminded her of Chujin.
ANYWAY i would LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, its very very possible im missing something obvious im a bit silly, if so please tell me haha. Also i love both possibilities of if Axis was in Snowdin or not AND the sibling Axis and Kanako headcanons… the LAST thing i want is to discourage those hc’s they are so cute.
In any case i just think the *concept* of a scientist who wants to perfect his (so far failed) guard robot to protect people, asking his daughter (the monster who he undoubtedly would want to protect most in the world) to design that robot, then getting so lost in his grand pursuit to protect monsterkind that he fails in nearly every way (leaving Kanako at the scene to try and get Axis to apprehend integrity, Axis’ programming messing up leading to him violently killing integrity, leading then to Chujin experimenting on himself and falling down, then the daughter he wanted to protect most falling down the same way because of the work he left behind) REALLY breaks my heart.
#undertale yellow spoilers#axis uty#undertale yellow axis#kanako ketsukane#chujin ketsukane#axis 014#uty headcanon#ceroba ketsukane#dalv uty#long post
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It's October! SPOOPY TIME ~ *throws ghost shaped confetti* ~ I am so excited to start this fun event! Reminder that this is a costume contest that YOU can vote in on October 29~ Vote for my mans, he worked really hard🥺
Character: Eustass "The Sexiest Captain" Kid Summary: Kid is going to steal the show away with his costume. He's a known murderer after all, and he's going to slay this contest as this villain everyone loves to hate. Word Count: 1,031
“OI! KILL! Get in here!” Eustass Kid angrily yelled from his room. He stared at his hulking form in the floor length mirror he had stolen from some place or another, eyeing the material laid over his body as he tried to piece together his idea.
The door pushed open as his best friend came through, hauling some pieces of metal behind him. Piling it next to Kid’s desk, Killer finally sized the redhead up, tilting his head as he inspected the idea Kid was toying with.
“When you said you wanted to be Sauron, I kind of assumed you’d go all in with an impressive armor -plated outfit. The helmet is coming out fine and I got the materials for the spikes but…what exactly are you trying to do here?”
Kid rolled his eyes, “It’s a costume CONTEST, Killer. I need to appeal to all of the judges.”
“I see. So you’re going for…skanky horror?”
“More like monstrously fuckable.”
“Well you’re on the right track. I’ll leave you to it.”
With a nod, Kid took the helmet prototype off his head, pulled the metal sheet plates from his body, and stepped out of the floor-length mesh skirt he pinned together.
His plan was to go as his favorite character. The baddest bastard in all of literature – Sauron Thee Lord of the Rings. He already knew the judges had personal tastes and preferences, and if he could hit all of them he knew he’d be the undisputed winner. Alvida liked to gawk, Buggy liked flashy, Mihawk liked weapons, and Crocodile just showed up for the party but had a soft spot for the classics.
The contest was in a few weeks so there was no time to fuck around. With a determined look on his face, Kid gathered his scraps and blueprints, spread his materials on the long work table, and grabbed his hammer to begin flattening the steel.
Strike upon strike echoed in his room as Kid worked. First, he flattened the metal sheets and used his body to shape the plates of his armor around his muscles, making sure to bend the metal to heavily emphasize the contours of his jagged edged form. When all the individual, scandalously modified armor components were formed, he welded the units together to create his costume – it consisted of: an extreme crop top plackart with connecting pieces for the pauldrons, couters, vambraces, spaulders, and rerebraces; tassets and extremely short cuisses that stopped mid-thigh for his groin; greaves for his legs; the helmet and bevor; the mace; and jagged additions to his sword.
Next was making the imposing spiky pieces that decorated the helmet, shoulder plates, thigh plates and shoes. Kid took thicker pieces of metal and manipulated their shapes to his design: long, wicked looking slats that could slice you up if you didn’t watch out. He also made spindly spikes in varying sizes, making much more than he would probably end up needing. Kid then soldered each addition to the base of the armor; the smell of iron, tin, and fire leaving a heavy odor in the air that lingered even with all the windows open.
The weeks passed as he worked on his project a little every day, determined to meet his deadline and take home the prize. Kid poured his sweat and blood into shaping, sanding, buffing, smoothing, shining, painting, and sealing each individual piece of his costume. The only time he asked for help was when he needed Heat to sew fabrics together. Kid might be able to bend metal to his will but not even he could thread something as small as string to needle with his thick, clunky fingers.
At long last the day of the costume contest arrived. The crew was pre-gaming and helping each other dress for the party. Kid didn’t want anyone to see him until he was fully dressed, locking himself in his room to shower and get ready.
With freshly dried hair that he didn’t bother to style, Kid placed his trusty welding goggles on his bed as he looked at his outfit. With a confident grin, the redhead dropped his towel to the floor.
Slipping on the first layer, Kid pulled tight black shorts over his underwear, the ends of the cotton spandex shorts had been sewn together with the mesh fabric to create leggings that he could tuck into his amor-plated sabatons. He pulled on a long-sleeved, extreme crop top made of the same cotton spandex and mesh, which did nothing to hide his nipples. Eyeing the way the mesh made his muscles look, Kid started the next layer.
Pulling up the tassets that were reminiscent of his belted war kilt, the cuisses sat comfortably over his thighs and looked menacing with the slats and spikes, as did his greaves. Over his torso he put on the customized plackart – it ran down to his forearms right over the mesh, covered his collarbones but stopped short just above his pecs. Stepping into the metal plated boots, Kid’s outfit was nearly complete.
With a quick hand, Kid swiped on burgundy lipstick and heavy, smoky black eyeshadow. From the closet he pulled out the new fur cloak he had Killer dye from maroon to black, snapping the clasp in place to hang from the backs of the pauldrons, between where the jagged spikes were soldered into the steel. Brushing his hair back he slid the helmet over his face, the generous gaps in the visor were just enough to show a passing glance of his makeup. Taking a step back, he pulled out a bottle of posing oil to make his exposed muscles gleam, rubbing it deeply into his skin.
For the final touch, Kid picked up 10 pointed claw rings he made with the extra metal he had, sliding each over his fingers where they sat snugly. Grabbing his sword and mace, he walked back to the mirror and gave himself a final verdict.
Frightening. Deadly. Slutty. Scary.
Perfect✨
With a grin and some badass poses, he took a few selfies with the cam-snail before he left the room. Roaring out to his crew, “Alright let’s crash this party Kid Pirates style!”
#Raven announces#eustass kid#buggy's spooktacular special#costume contest stories#writer collaboration#one piece fanfiction#one piece halloween#eustass captain kidd#swampstew bedtime stories#eustasscaptainkid
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My thoughts about Dragon Age: The Veilguard (Spoiler free)
After 67.5 hours of playtime, I have finished the fourth Dragon Age game. Overall, I give it a solid 7/10.
I loved
The performance. I have a good gaming laptop, but it is still a laptop. Veilguard runs buttery-smooth, never had any lag or framerate drop or anything. Didn't have any annoying glitches, some very minor graphics bugs two or three times. I know this SHOULD be the bare minimum, but considering it has become the norm to launch games that are basically unplayable because of the number of glitches, this is something to point out!
The overall story, tone and writing. Yes, these were criticised by many people, but I don't think that the dialogue was that clunky, and I certainly did not think that the tone was "not dark enough". Genuinely, people saying the game was too lighthearted and not "dark fantasy" anymore must have played a different game than me.
The look of the environments. Inquisitions landscapes were beautiful, and Veilguard manages to top that in certain areas. Arlathan Forest is absolutely beautiful, and other places you get to explore are horrifyingly, disgustingly vile and haunting and terrifying.
The Character Creator. So many details and so many hairstyles!!! And GOOD, long hairstyles, too!!!
I liked
The Companions. Rook's interactions with the companions is different than in Origins and Inquisition, most similar to DA2. You can't just always come talk to them. But they interact with each other far more than in previous games!! And I am glad there isn't a party banter glitch like in Inquisition - the banter triggers early and often. No hourlong running around in dead silence! And I also liked all the companions as characters, a lot!
The voice acting. Again, I don't really get the complaints so many people seem to have over the voice acting. Really solid imo!
The Combat. I did NOT think I would ever say that. It took a long while to get used to it because I am simply not used to playing action combat games. I only played on Keeper difficulty (2nd easiest), but that was ideal for me to figure everything out. I played a duelist rogue, haven't tried other classes. And I appreciated the uncomplicated respeccing. Especially because I was really intimidated by the complicated look of the skill tree. For rook and the companions, you can respec any skill at any time, so you can play around and try what works best for you.
Exploring. The game is not open-world and I think it was a good choice. But the relatively small areas are packed full with treasures to find. There are little puzzles everywhere. I am a sucker for that kind of stuff. Love puzzles and riddles. Only not putting this under "loved" because it kind of messed with the pacing for me in certain quests. ("Someone's in mortal peril? Sure, hang on, lemme get that treasure chest first")
Certain lore revelations. No spoilers! But we learn some big stuff. I think this was done well for the most part.
I was fine with
The look of the Characters. I was VERY worried about that at first because in general I am not a big fan of the cartoonish artstyle. What was odd is that not all characters seem equally cartoonish? Emmrich seems much more cartoonish than Davril, for example. That is an inconsistency that I found quite annoying. In general, could have been better, could have been worse. I really miss the DA2 look of the Qunari. That Arishok... still thinking about him.
The romance. So I have only romanced Neve, and it was nice. I know other romances are different, they might give you a bit... more. Again, don't want to spoil anything but.... There could have been more.
Cameos/tie-in of established characters. I want to keep this spoiled-free so I won't go into specifics. It was nice meeting some of them again, some of them were.... NOT done right. Yeah I'll reblog this post with a few spoilery thoughts on that. This could have been done a LOT better.
I did not like
Lore inconsitencies. I don't mean major, story-relevant stuff here, just some minor details. It's expected that they will get some stuff wrong but.... ugh. still annoying!!!
The villains are very black-and-white. When I think of Dragon Age Villains, I think of complex characters like Zathrian, Loghain, even the Arishok or Prince Bhelen. Characters you can empathize with, feel sorry for, even side with. The game is very lacking in that kind of complexity.
Lack of impactful, difficult choices. In previous installments, I AGONIZED over so many choices. Harrowmont or Bhelen? Celine or Gaspard? Kill or spare the Architect? Choices I took a long time to think about, choices where the game (and other media) gives you little snippets of information, not enough that you know what the right choice is for sure, but you have a lot to think about and to consider. This does not exist in this game. At all.
Rook can't be evil. I know Rook needs to be the hero. But so did the Warden, Hawke and the Herald. I personally don't like playing the "bad guy". But I like having the choice! If you have the choice to sacrifice Feynriel to the Sloth Demon, it makes the decision to do the right think just so much more meaningful.
And Rook's dialogue options are quite flat, too. The game uses tone indicators like in DA2 and Inquisition, but the tone barely even differs. The joking/sarcastic replies are not that funny (purple Hawke i miss you you will always be famous). The "aggressive" replies are really not that aggressive. Overall, that makes Rook feel quite flat.
I am VERY unhappy with
Okay. Deep breaths. No spoilers. But this game has... issues. For a game that has been in developement for such a long time, there are many aspects that are just unfinished. The Lords of Fortune for example. The entire faction makes barely any sense.
Ignoring most of the worldstate choices... This has been discussed at length before the release, so no need to get into it. But I have always admired Bioware for how they managed to tie in choices from previous games - even if they were just "throwaway oneliners". That was what made the world of Thedas feel real. That's what made Dragon Age special.
The lack of conflict and how slavery in Tevinter is just glossed over. Okay hear me out. I do NOT want more fantasy racism because I think it is cool or whatever. But we're in Tevinter for big parts of the game!! The dreaded empire that everyone in southern Thedas is scared of, where slavery is normal and they do blood magic for fun. All that worldbuilding and the setup is just... basically ignored. The venatori are throwaway enemies just like in inquisition, the politics of Tevinter are almost entirely ignored. And that is, I think, where Veilguard fails to be a proper Dragon Age game. DA was always about mirroring real life conflicts, adressing themes of prejudice, war, racism, homophobia and mental illness directly or through metaphors. Making you think about morality, both your PC's morality and your own as a player and a person. This game... this game doesn't challenge any sort of believes you might have as a person in that way. This is, in my opinion, the biggest failure of the game. The critical look at the real world, through the lense of a dark fantasy game. And if a Dragon Age game is missing that, then it just... misses it's heart and it's soul. Unfortunately, glitches can be fixed but there is no way to patch this.
Final thoughts
Okay, back to a bit more positivity. I enjoyed the game. I really, really had a lot of fun. I screamed, I cried real tears, I felt for the companions and I laughed at the funny moments. Dragon Age: The Veilguard is a good game. Not perfect. And it is perfectly understandable to be critcal of it, unfortunately a lot of criticism gets lost in either "it's too woke" or people who clearly have not played past the first act.
But in general, I think both Dragon Age fans and newcomers will enjoy it and have a good time.
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Today I beat Final Fantasy.


Not my first time, and not even my first time blogging about it here. But this time, it's the pixel remaster, as the bundle was on a hefty sale, and I didn't know if I'd ever get the chance to get them all for so cheap again.
My first time playing was the Gameboy Advance version. And I loved that version of the game, but it kind of made it into more of a traditional RPG, where spells cost MP instead of having the more traditional spell level with spell slots style from Dungeons and Dragons. It also was a lot more generous with EXP and Gil. So I didn't feel like I really experienced Final Fantasy... but it did influence me in many ways, including the creation of my current batch of OCs, after I had completely given up on having OCs.
Anyway, I played the original NES version since it came bundled with the NES Classic Edition. It was tough and clunky, but I loved it still, and it felt like I finally got the true FF experience.
This version is more faithful to the NES version, right down to essentially taking the NES sprites and adding more shading, like Super Mario All-Stars did with it's sprites. But it's smartly selective about what things to keep. It kept the backgrounds from the GBA version, and the new original music, it allowed you to buy multiple items, it was helpful on if your items were even beneficial or not, and it allowed you to buy items that weren't in the original such as phoenix down.
You also have the option to set exp and gill to normal, x2, and x4. I admit, I put it up to x2 at first, just so I could skip the tedious early game grind. But once I got to Elfheim, I set the exp back to normal. There's also an auto battle feature, but all it really does is make your party use the last action you used. So it's not overpowered like Dragon Quests auto battle.
One thing that maybe makes the game a little too easy is the map. You can just scout the whole map and avoid taking turns into dead ends, and you can see which rooms have treasure chests in them. I guess modern audiences can't really appreciate dungeon crawling with NES design, but I kinda thing dead ends is part of the experience, and maybe dungeon maps should fill out as you explore instead of just being given to you, unless it's an item like in Zelda. But it's no big deal, it just made the game more smooth.
Also, yes, I beat Warmech, but I was kind of overleveled when I went back for it, beat it in two turns.

Anyway, love this game, still my favorite FF so far, but as I always say, I haven't really experienced many FF games.
Will I play FFII next? Maybe. But I think that game kinda stinks, so if I do, i'm keeping x4 EXP and Gil on at all times because I just want to breeze through it. I'm more interested in experiencing 3-6.
However, I might not get to it for a while, Switch 2 is almost here and I need to get back to the Mario Marathon. I also want to finally finish the Dragon Quest 3 remaster, which i'm also very close to doing, so maybe i'll focus on that until Switch 2 is here.
( also I watched a story summary of Stranger of Paradise. Kind of a mind blow story but man, why did they make Garland like... just a guy in a t-shirt with airpods. Does not fit the vibe at all. )
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if you're still doing the spotify wrapped asks: 13?
tyyyy :D
So I'd already done 13, but, 31? I can do that! this is a section of a larger, bigger fic that I wrote when I was reaaally into rvb (still background love it :3) and I'm gonna post the full fic at the end of the week! for now, enjoy this snippet about simmons <3 (728 words) (also click here to read!)
Modern medicine was supposed to be good, right? Right? The year 25-whatever, and medicine was the best it had ever been. Supposedly. Regardless of this fact, he found himself here, in a canyon with no way in, and no way out, and the scraps of medicine the UNSC could offer, and Simmons could almost taste where his skin met metal.
It was kind of stupid. Simmons went his entire life devouring any science fiction he could get his hands on, no matter the flavor or quality, movies, magazines, books, games. It edged that border of reality and fantasy, more so than it probably ever did, leaning on the real world to support the flights of technology he never thought he would actually see. And now his body was half of something straight out of a novel he read when he was twelve. He should be happy, though. At least he's alive.
Hunched over his lap, unable to rise to a stand, Simmons tries to breathe. There's a dull, throbbing ache along the seams of metal against his left side, pulsing through the wiring like there were some muscles left to contract. It moves fine, he moves fine, regardless of the shoddy job they did. He presses the heel of his flesh and blood hand to the hollow of his chest. He can at least feel the thud of his heart under his fingers right before the lip of metal that should be seamless against his skin sits. It is, for all intents, seamless. There's isn't anything more than a fine line of scar tissue almost too faint to feel. But Simmons knows his own body, how it should blockishly line up with each joint, each square of his shoulder and neck and jaw. He knows he can feel the cold point of contact, no matter how phantom.
Simmons breathes through his nose, feeling his chest expand. His heart continues to beat, and the nausea of waking up disoriented fades for a moment. He blinks his eyes open. The room comes into focus, with the dim, desert sun trickling in through the slatted grate across the window, over the high of his bare, freckled shoulder. Hands on his knees, Simmons rises to a slow, shaky stand. He won't get anything done if he doesn't at least start to move, no matter how much the ache along his left side lingers. He tries to resettle into the weight of metal and wiring, rather than blood and bone, as he has for the past few days. It's better than being dead, that weight. And it's enough to walk steadily over to the closet, making careful, meticulous work of donning the black kevlar.
Simmons makes slow work of the kevlar, fitting it carefully over the metallic arm and wrist, human arm and wrist on the other side. He pulls the zipper up the flat of his back and smooths one hand over the crest of his shoulders, making sure the fabric lies flat. Kevlar was the slowest process of suit donning now that the arm was involved, and he wasn’t about to spend his morning in power armor if he didn’t need to. Too clunky, too hard to make eggs in. Sure it protected his hands from the oil splatter, but at what cost, really. Regardless, Simmons does a secondary trace of the joins of the kevlar, ensuring it lies flat and cool against his skin. He draws a hand over the back of his neck experimentally, testing for gaps. Finding none, he stretches, trying to throw feeling into both of his arms. It comes back as tingling feedback in the metal, and the proper stretch in the human. Sighing shortly, letting his eyes shut for a brief moment, Simmons swallows. Fine. He could deal with that for now. He turns back to the bedside, pulling the worn UNSC shirt back over his head with sweatpants following.
As he turns, he catches the briefest glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror, through the open door. In the dim light, his face looks long and pale, with a fine hollow to his cheeks. Simmons startles, tears his eyes away before they can find the noticeably growing dark corners to his eyes. Setting his jaw, Simmons opens the door to his room and steps out into the hallway. The door slides shut behind him.
#oh simmons i love you soooo much#red vs blue#rvb#rvb simmons#richard simmons#dick simmons#text#fics#rvb fic#spotify wrapped asks 2024#asks#UURGHUHRUGHFHUG#i know a lot of people probably dont know them. but i am obsessedddd with him. and them. and this#i love this fic very much with my whole heart im very proud of her#i hope you enjoy!!#kayfey
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When I came up to the apartment last night, I saw the light was on in the living room. That meant Fannie was on the other side of the door. I felt anxious—kind of sick to my stomach. I swallowed, held my key to the reader, waited for the beep, and let myself in.
I don't know how I expected to find her...but definitely not like this. She had headphones on, the big, clunky kind, and she was...dancing. Horrendously, I might add, but with joyful abandon: arms flailing, feet kicking. She had her back to me, and she must have had the music up pretty loud, because she didn't hear me come in.
I'd never seen her like that. A huge grin spread across my face, and anything else that I'd been feeling before melted away. I wondered how long it would take for her to notice me?
I spotted her datapad on the coffee table, which had her music on it (she was listening to Gaya, actually), so I tapped the screen to pause the song. She stopped mid-flail and poked her headphones, confused, then turned around to reach for the datapad—and practically had a heart attack when she saw me.
"Ben!" she cried, falling backwards onto the couch, her eyes huge. I was getting pretty used to seeing her eyes get all big like that by now. I dropped my bag on the ground and let my hands collapse onto my knees, laughing.
"Gee, I don't know why you're not a Twi'lek dancer," I teased.
"Ben, that is a disgusting joke to make," she snapped, flushed.
"Aw, come on, I spend all day being politically correct at work—"
She glared at me.
I put up my hands. "You're right. You're right. Sorry. Inappropriate."
She relaxed and smiled a little, seeming to accept the apology. "But you are right that I'm no good at dancing. Not like you."
It took me a moment to even understand what she was talking about. "What...that waltz I showed you? Oh, please. Decorative walking. I can't actually dance."
"Could've fooled me," she said, smiling sweetly, looking at me like I was someone special. The moment lingered, the chirping of nighttime insects filling the silence. My insides twisted.
I turned and cleared my throat, hanging up my keys and kicking off my shoes. "Hey, uh...listen, I wanted to apologize for something. I wasn't totally honest with you when I took off on Friday." I turned back to look at her and leaned against the wall. "I'm glad I ended up visiting my family—well, except for Rey being kind of a butt—though at least I had a decent conversation with my mom—okay, wait, I'm getting off-topic."
"Yes?" The unhinged dancer was gone, replaced by the girl sitting with polite attentiveness, ankles primly crossed, her hands clasped loosely in her lap.
"What I mean is..." I sighed. "I didn't already have plans to go home. I kind of...decided to go on the spot, to get out of talking with you on Friday. Yeah—I know—real mature. You're probably mad, and you should be, but—"
"Oh, I already knew," she said calmly. Her friendly smile had never left. "You're not exactly difficult to read."
My shoulders slumped and I stared at her, taken by surprise. "Well, uh. Okay then. Can you...forgive me?"
"Yes, I forgive you. But next time, you can just tell me you need a little bit of space." She smirked teasingly—if it could be called a smirk—then looked down and smoothed out her dress. "Actually...it was good for me too. I had a lovely, peaceful weekend, and a lot of time to think. Whenever you're ready, it would be really good for us to talk. But there's no rush, if you still need more time."
"Good," I said with an embarrassed laugh. "'Cause...yeah, I still need more time."
"Of course," she said gently. "Although...I'm thinking it may be best if we don't hang out as much, until we're able to have that conversation. We were already kind of doing that last week, but I just wanted to say it out loud.”
I felt a wave of relief. Then disappointment. Then anxiety. Then relief again. Then hunger. But that was just because it was 10pm and I hadn't eaten since 5.
"Yeah, uh...sure," I said, because it was something I could say. I made my way to the kitchen. "Yeah. Good idea."
"Oh, I made a snack for you," Fannie called. "It's on the counter. Though it might be a bit soggy by now—I didn't know when you were coming back."
I looked. There was a plate with a plum-tomato and sardine sandwich, and a glass of blue milk. Which was exactly what I had been about to make for myself. She must have seen me make my signature sandwich a dozen times, because it was just like how I made it—the plum-tomatoes sliced about a quarter-inch thick, the sandwich split diagonally from bottom-left to top-right. It was the same sandwich my mom had made for me as a kid, and that I'd made for myself on many midnights as a rapidly-growing teen (minus the sardines, which were a Ben Swolo's Pursuit of Protein addition).
I picked up one of the sandwich halves—and found a paper note underneath. “Welcome home!” it read in neat script, with a little smiley face that was only slightly dampened with watery-purple plum-tomato juice. My heart jumped a little.
I looked back at her (the back of her head, really) as she put her headphones back on and hummed quietly on the couch. And then at the sandwich. And then at the little note. And then back at her, her head bobbing side to side like a hologame character's idle animation, lekku swaying.
And then I felt things. Things that I don't have the words for.
Well...crap, I thought.
#askbensolo#written#fannie#ben tells a story#story event: an awkward situation 2#rip 2016 ask ben solo girlies who kept harassing ben about his love life when he was 15. you would have loved this
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Ass Respect 2
Saturday, myself and Ari (@freakpatrol) finished up Mass Effect 2, after less than a week of playing. We played for idk, a little bit.
My friend Dylan put it well: Mass Effect 1 is one of those games you'd see in a "learn to make video games at DeVry University" commercial. It's clunky, inaccessible, and a slog.
Mass Effect 2 is smooth, accessible, and fun. Genuinely one of my favorite games ever.
THE GOOD PART 1: GAME MECHANICS
So far, Mass Effect is iterative. Each game takes the last and builds upon it. I don't know the history of development, but it's clear that Bioware saw the issues in the first game and went "hey, let's make this better." For instance,
The game is more accessible. Menus are easier to navigate and much more comprehensive. Shit makes sense. Things are actually explained to you, you aren't just left to guess how things work, or where you're supposed to go.
Following the theme of iteration, stuff that was lacking in 1, has been improved upon:
In the first game, there was only one minigame that was used for everything. It was basically just frogger; get your little arrow to the center of a circle, avoiding the obstacles that send you back to the start. It got to be annoying after the 1,400th time you did it. In 2, there are two distinct minigames mostly used for hacking/accessing technology and areas. The first is a match-the-symbols game, pretty self explanatory, the second is a code-matching game, where you match blocks of text with what's shown in the legend. They're not perfect but they're SOOOOO much better than what we had before.
Next: the star map. The galaxy is a big, expansive place. Before, you kinda just clicked on a system, went there, scanned a couple of planets for collection quests/resource gathering, then went to whatever planet your mission was at. Now, you actually have to travel to different systems manually. You pilot your ship between systems, using up fuel to do so. I wasn't super keen about it at first, but it grew on me. The overview of the galaxy also shows you your active quests, which is super nice.
In the same vein, the resource gathering is much more in depth. Before you could click on planets and sometimes would have the option to scan them for stuff. It was very shallow. In the sequel, you can scan pretty much every planet; it's a minigame in itself. Right-click and drag along the globe to find pockets of resources, then click to send a probe down to collect them. You can find element zero, palladium, iridium, and platinum. Each can be used for different kinds of research, which is used to upgrade you, your gear, your squadmates, their gear, and the Normandy. It's much more fleshed out and actually pretty fun. To Ari's dismay, I would sit and suck those planets dry looking for shit.
Also extremely important to mention: the side missions. They're SO much better now. Rather than going to some prefab & shooting enemies, each one is actually fleshed out and substantial. THEY ALSO GOT RID OF THE MAKO!!!! NO MORE OF THAT STUPID ASS CAR!!!! NO MORE TRYING TO SHIMMY YOUR WAY UP A MOUNTAIN FOR 20 MINUTES!!! IT'S GREAT!!!!
One minor thing I appreciate is that you don't loot inventories for items anymore. You mostly just pick up credits, resources, and ammo, which is much preferable. The inventories full of crap back in 1 were jarring and really took you out of the game.
That reminds me: ammo. Before, you had infinite ammo, your gun would just heat up with each shot, and if you filled the meter, it would have to cool down. Well, they ditched that in favor of ammo pickups. Enemies drop ammo, or the pickups will just be placed around the map. Apparently this was a controversial change, but I like it a lot more than before, it introduces a new challenge.
Along with ammo are your powers. They really made biotics a viable thing here. They're fun, they're powerful, they can really kick some ass if you use them correctly. I didn't make much use of them, but I appreciate the work that was put into improving them.
Just a few more things. I promise I'm almost done.
Overall, the game felt a lot more difficult. I felt substantially weaker; shit would tear through my shields like they were nothing. Bioware also did away with medi-gel, kinda. You still have it, but it's exclusively for your teammates if they go down. To regain health, you have to take cover. This made it a lot more challenging, I couldn't just spam heal in the middle of a battle, I actually had to strategize and hold positions. I like it.
The last major improvement they made was to the squad AI. It was actually worth a damn now. Squadmates would actually get kills and it was glorious. It didn't leave me feeling like I was totally on my own like before.
Also they got rid of omni-gel, but I don't think anyone cared.
THE GOOD PART 2: THE WORLD
Ohhhhh my god the world. It really hit me just how much better the atmosphere and level design was when we got to Omega. It's in the terminus systems, which are systems that are ungoverned by the citadel and the council. Omega is basically the citadel for crime lords; it's a dirty, slummy neighborhood on an asteroid. If you know me, you know I'm a sucker for settings like that (read: see Dorohedoro), so I LOVED Omega. Anyways: the world. It's so much more alive!!! When you touch down on a new location, everything really hits you all at once. There's people to talk to, places to go, things to see, it was great. The ambience was so much more potent; there's always some conversation going on in the background. The levels themselves were much less linear feeling, you could really explore & go anywhere. It wasn't like the citadel in the first game, which was so annoying to traverse.
The most important part of any world is its characters and Mass Effect 2 did not disappoint. In terms of races, it was mostly the same with a few newcomers: like the Vorcha. They're cool gremlin-looking dudes that slum around Omega & work in merc groups. There's a lot of prejudice towards them unfortunately. They're regarded as dumb vermin by pretty much every other race. People hate them more than they hate Batarians. It sucks cause they're actually pretty cool!
Speaking of Batarians, we got to see them a lot more, too. Unfortunately not in better conditions than the previous game; still mostly depicted as mercs, terrorists, and slavers.
There was also the Drell: anthropomorphic lizard guys. We only saw.... 2? Your squadmate, Thane, and his son. They're apparently near extinction. :( Their home world was destroyed, somehow, and they were taken in by the Hanar. Their relationship with the Hanar was symbiotic, the Drell lived on their planet and in return, as put by Ari, they do anything for the Hanar that "required having bones."
Another cool race we saw ONLY ONE OF, were the Yahg. The only one we saw happened to be the Shadow Broker. He was cool & tough, not much to say about him, but I liked him a lot.
I also wanna briefly touch on the enemies in the game.
The big bads were the Collectors. A race of bug-like aliens that were very elusive. In reality, they're actually Protheans that've been cultivated and genetically modified by the Reapers. Much like the Keepers on the citadel. Cool dudes.
Besides the Collectors, you were blasting mercs, which I loved. There's three distinct groups: the Blood Pack, the Eclipse, and the Blue Suns. Each group comprised of different species, with their own gimmicks.
The Collectors also had some new creatures in their ranks. Among the Husk, there were Scions. Scions are cool, grotesque Husk-like abominations. I like them a lot, but don't get me wrong: they SUCK. I died SO MUCH TO THEM. They have this long-range shockwave attack that's nigh impossible to dodge. Absolute bastards.
As for your teammates, a lot of newcomers, but some friendly faces too. Most notably Garrus. I love Garrus, he's my boy. We fucked. Tali also came back, I'll talk about her more in a bit.
Anyway, among the ranks were:
Miranda - total cunt. The Ashley of Mass Effect 2. Absolutely miserable to be around. I didn't speak to her unless I had to.
Jacob - Polite soldier type. He was cool but I didn't really care about him.
Mordin - MY PROBLEMATIC FAVE. He's a crazy, fast-talking, oldhead Salarian. We found him on Omega working on a cure for a plague that was going around. First and foremost, he's a genius scientist, but he also has combat training & can hold his own. At one point he sang a Salarian sea shanty, and then another time he was like "hey Shepard I saw that you moved your eyes in a funny way, btw I don't wanna fuck." Totally awesome dude. The thing that makes him problematic is he, well, modified the Genophage to be more effective. He quite literally sterilized the Krogan further and committed genocide. As the story progresses, he shows some remorse for his actions. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Mordin.
Thane - the aforementioned Drell that you encounter. He's a master assassin- really cool dude. Very calm & collected; prays to different deities before every kill, I dig it. He's also dying, that sucks. Love my boy Thane.
Samara - an Asari Justicar, which are highly esteemed warriors in their culture. Almost like ninja monks. They pretty much have immunity from any legal repercussions. They live by the code, an ancient set of scriptures that basically tell them to kill anyone that sucks or tries to hurt them. Samara is, as Ari put it, "the most autistic woman in the galaxy." She's awesome, has a really tragic backstory. We killed her daughter.
Jack - Oh Jack. She's a high level biotic that was experimented on as a child by the terrorist group Cerberus. Tortured for most of her early life in a facility you go back to and blow up with her. She's a volatile bottle rocket of anger & angst, ready to explode at a moment's notice, and also the hottest woman in the galaxy. You can't romance her as fem Shepard, which is a fucking TRAVESTY. I love Jack so much.
Zaeed & Kasumi - not even worth talking about.
GRUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is your Krogan squadmate for the game. Bred in a tank by the late Dr. Okeer. He's grumpy and ready to kill anything that moves. He was born literally yesterday & I would die for him. For his loyalty mission you take him to TUCHANKA!!!! THE KROGAN HOME WORLD!!! It's a fucking disaster of a planet, it looks like every level from a late aughts military shooter. But guess who you can fucking see there??? WREX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you chose to save him on Virmire, he has since returned home & become the leader of his own clan: the Urdnot. The Urdnot are the dominant clan on Tuchanka and are trying to reunify the planet and its clans. My boy Wrex is delighted to see you. He's really thrived on Tuchanka, becoming a very stoic leader, but very visibly happy.
A lot of the Krogan you encounter on Tuchanka are mean to Grunt because he was tank-born. But not Wrex, the old merc sees right past this & welcomes Grunt to try his might in the rite: the ritual that Krogan perform as they enter adulthood. The rite is basically just a tower defense game, culminating in fighting a Thresher Maw. If you succeed, Grunt is welcomed into clan Urdnot. Grunt still chooses to tag along with you in your mission, as you are his Battlemaster. He really comes to respect you over the course of the game, I love to see it.
Tali'Zorah - It's Tali, baby. She's back. She's finished her Pilgrimage & is working for the Quarian fleet. I specifically wanted to mention her because her loyalty mission is actually really cool. After her recruitment, Tali is called back to the Quarian fleet, having been accused of treason. You see, after her mission on one of the former Quarian colony worlds (where you save and recruit her), she sends deactivated Geth parts back to the fleet for her father to do research on. Due to the research being done, this backfires, the Geth are reactivated, and kill the entire ship, including Tali's father. We learn this during the hearing, and everyone is shocked. As a way to clear her name, Tali & Shepard go to the ship the Geth are on and clear it out. I really like this mission because it adds a lot of depth to the Quarians & their culture. I loved seeing the Flotilla; the architecture of the old, second-hand ships they travel the galaxy with. Meeting more Quarians was a delight too. Easily one of my favorite races in the series; their conflict with the Geth is complicated & tragic, and I'm eager to see how it plays out.
AND FINALLY....
LAST BUT NOT LEAST....
THE MAN OF THE HOUR....
MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE COMPANION...
LEGION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - PERHAPS THE COOLEST COMPANION EVER, BESIDES WREX..... I didn't know of his existence until he was introduced. Ari was very careful not to tell me about him, and I'm thankful for it. I love him so much. Legion is a Geth. A true Geth. One that is not following the Reapers. It turns out, the Geth we've been fighting for the last few years are actually a faction of "heretics" that broke off from the main group. The main group are still peaceful & reclusive. I really, really, really love this twist because it adds so much more depth to the Geth. It gives them reason to be, more than just a fodder enemy for the Reapers. It makes them more complicated. The Geth are vilified across the galaxy & the reason AI have become illegal, but they're really just misunderstood. During Legion's loyalty mission, you are tasked with destroying the heretics. Except you have a choice; you can destroy them, or save them & rewrite the code that's made them submit to the Reapers. It's a morally ambiguous mission- I took the latter route, opting to save them and rewrite them. It feels wrong to do that, but it's better than genocide... Anyway, yeah, Legion: absolute favorite part about Mass Effect 2. Everyone is hesitant to have him aboard the Normandy, but he rocks & I would die for him.
THE BAD
That was a lot, if you've gotten this far, thanks. I have a lot less to say about the game from here on out, as it's a really fun and good experience. But as with anything, there's always some bad.
These aren't even necessarily super bad things, just stuff that irked me. Primarily:
Stability - the game's a lil buggy. There were weird animation errors & at one point I crashed entirely. Ari was also unable to play in windowed mode for some reason, which made watching me stream a pain, since they had to watch on their phone. They're gonna get a second monitor here soon, though. 👁️
UI & Controls - extremely nitpicky, but, a few times, dialogue options and weapons in my wheel would switch around. I don't really know why, but it got me a few times. The bigger thing was the controls on the galaxy map: if you pressed escape, it would kick you out of the map entirely. Very annoying.
The DLC - I'm not really sure what all was DLC, because it was included in the legendary edition of the games. But the DLC characters, Zaeed and Kasumi, were fucking nothing. Just empty husks of characters, lacking all depth & interesting story. I did their missions for completion's sake but they were fucking stupid.
The final boss - SUPER SUPER COOL CONCEPT!!! It's a fucking Reaper shaped like a skeletal human, it was so awesome looking, but the fight itself was underwhelming and lacking. I did it in a single try. Literally I had more trouble getting to it than fighting it. You basically just shot its weak spots until it died.
Weapon mods - they got rid of them!! I thought that was a bummer, I liked the customization they offered in the first game.
All in all...
Mass Effect 2 is a fantastic game. Easily a contender for one of my favorite of all time. The world, the characters, the story, it's all fantastic. It really took the basis the first game left & expanded upon it in such a cool way. We've since started 3, and I'm already thinking "oh this is not nearly as good as 2."
Thanks again to Ari for playing it w/ me. It's nice to actually experience and enjoy games again. Having a partner to go through it with has made it 10 times more enjoyable.
The one last thing I have to say about the game is that I really enjoy how everybody calls you Shepard exclusively. At one point, during a conversation with Liara, I thought to myself, "wait, what's Shepard's first name?" That's when I remembered, I named her Obama. Obama Shepard. Ari laughed at me.
Again, if you read this far, I appreciate it. I'm sure once we've finished 3, I'll have even more to say.
With Love,
Obama Shepard
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I might be in the minority here, but I gotta say, it's kind of disappointing to see so many negative reactions towards Silent Hill 2 Remake. I get that Konami doesn't exactly have the best track record with how they've handled the series in recent years. I understand that people have reservations about Bloober Team's involvement and why that is. I know that the original Silent Hill 2 is a very beloved game. And of course, people are entitled to their own opinions.
However, I feel like I see way too much of people just absolutely hating on something online these days, rather than waiting for it to come out and giving it a fair chance. I've lost track of all the times people have completely rallied against a game, show, movie, etc. based off just a few scenes or bits of dialogue. It takes more than that to truly experience and judge media for yourself.
In the case of Silent Hill 2 Remake, I've also already seen numerous rants about things like James having too much expression in certain scenes and being able to block/guard against attacks. I saw that first point floating around online after the teaser trailer released and that was literally the only information to go on. Now, people are complaining about how the combat looks. I feel like people are forgetting or neglecting that Silent Hill has never really had smooth combat. It's always been clunky and awkward to some extent. In my opinion, combat has consistently been the worst part of each Silent Hill game I've played. Story, characters, and atmosphere have been the much stronger parts for me. If anything, it looks like the combat in SH2R will still be an improvement from the original. Just from the brief clips shown in the gameplay trailer, it already appears to be much smoother and more modernized without being too action oriented.
Another thing that bothers me is the trailer even discloses the game is still in development. This isn't a finished product yet, and it's very possible the combat will be more polished once it's done. It could also have been changed quite a bit by then. I think people need to actually wait for the finished game to come out, then experience it for themselves. Like I said before, there's too much of bashing things without ever giving them a fair chance and instead assuming that they'll be terrible, awful, trash, and a myriad of other negative descriptors from the very beginning.
Maybe the game will turn out to be bad and I'll end up feeling disappointed by it. For now though, I'd rather give it the benefit of the doubt and believe it has the potential to be good. I'd rather wait to play the game myself and form my overall opinion on it then.
All this to say I'm frustrated by how quickly and easily people completely dismiss things without giving them a proper chance first. And specifically, it's frustrating to see how much of that type of sentiment has been directed towards Silent Hill 2 Remake, a game that's still in development and doesn't even have a release date yet. At this point, it honestly feels like some people are nitpicking every bit of information or footage that comes out and finding everything "wrong" with it that they possibly can.
#silent hill 2 remake#silent hill 2#video games#horror#survival horror#remake#sh2 remake#rant#sorry but the online discourse (at least the vast majority of it) around sh2 remake is so annoying
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The Hour, the Spot, the Look, the Words Chapter Commentary
Chapter 11: Love Language
It was but the morning after Elizabeth Darcy had admired a very pretty set of hair combs in a shop that she received them as a gift from her husband. She had not been hinting at anything, nor had she expected the gift, but her husband was a generous man and, surprised and grateful though she was, she did not dwell long on the event.
When it occurred a second time, after commenting on a lovely shawl, and a third, when speaking of a book she longed to read, she began to feel a little uneasy.
“I do not wish him to think that I am expecting presents,” she said to Georgiana, “or that I am making any demands.” My Elizabeth is sensitive about this, probably because Mrs. Bennet is, you know, Mrs. Bennet, and can't help talking about all of Elizabeth's new riches. She wants Darcy to be certain that his money is not at all a factor in her love for him.
“Oh, no,” said Georgiana, her eyes wide. “I am sure he thinks no such thing! Of course he doesn't. It's the same sort of thing as his feeling guilty over the events of the beginning of the novel even though Elizabeth has forgiven them completely. They are still newly married and they will both grow out of this silliness eventually. This is just his way. One cannot admire anything in Fitzwilliam’s hearing without him rushing out to procure it for them." Someone argued with me about this, but it is literally canon.
Elizabeth could well believe it. After all, her husband had refitted an entire sitting room for Georgiana just because she said she had taken a liking to it. His was a liberality born out of kindness, and he positively spoiled the people he loved.
Still, she was determined to speak with him.
***
“I have never thought that you expected anything,” he said, after she had done. “I buy you these things because I enjoy it.”
“But does it not look unseemly?” she asked. “Your family already think I am a fortune hunter.”
“I do not care what they believe,” he said dismissively. “They certainly never complain when they need me to lend them money. Headcanon is that the Fitzwilliams live well above their means. And,” he said, more heated now, “I should think that I am entitled to buy gifts for my own wife without it being commented on.”
“Fitzwilliam,” she said gently, taking his hand, “you are always very thoughtful and I love that about you. I hated this line for its clunkiness when I wrote it, and I still hate it now. But I never want you to think, even for a moment, that I married you for your money, the way so many people do.”
“I do not think that, and I care very little about what the rest of the world may say.”
“But it sometimes feels as though I do all of the receiving and you get nothing in return,” she said, exasperated.
He looked genuinely nonplussed. “I have you. I do not want anything else.” Darcy is canonically a smooth talker, when he finally decides to talk (there are exceptions, I grant you). People forget this because of the 2005 movie Elizabeth's reaction to things.
That was very sweet, but she would need to speak with Georgiana again.
***
“Fitzwilliam is rather impossible about presents,” said Georgiana. “He is embarrassed whenever people try to give him things.” I am famously squeamish about receiving gifts, and I'm much poorer than Darcy, so I'm sure it's agonizing for him.
“Well, that does not seem fair,” said Elizabeth, “as he is always giving himself.”
“You can imagine how relieved I am, that he must now divide his attention between the two of us!”
Elizabeth laughed. “And how have you managed, being on the receiving end of his generosity and discouraged against any reciprocation?”
“I have always made him things,” said Georgiana. “Drawings, usually.” She smiled at Elizabeth, a little ruefully. “It is hardly on the level of a pianoforte, but that is what he likes.” Also basically canon. He hangs her pictures in the gallery! That is so freaking cute!
“But I do not draw.”
“I could teach you,” said Georgiana hopefully. “I am sure Fitzwilliam would love anything that you made.” Can you even imagine? He'd probably try to surgically attach it to himself.
***
And so Elizabeth practiced.
Georgiana was an excellent teacher - patient and encouraging and skilled - but there was just no escaping the fact that Elizabeth had very little in the way of natural artistic talent. I had started to do a little recreational painting at the time that I wrote this. I was not impressive.
Georgiana refused to see it.
“You are doing very well!” she insisted. “You have never drawn before and all new pursuits take time.”
They tried crayons, and pencils, and watercolors, and Elizabeth was clumsy with them all.
“You just need better inspiration,” said Georgiana firmly.
They escaped out of doors, where Elizabeth tried to create something that was not objectively terrible. She had decided to paint a landscape, choosing for her subject a favorite spot of her husband’s (a shady and peaceful place by the stream), but she had rather overestimated her abilities.
Georgiana, meanwhile, had completed a miniature of Elizabeth, very prettily done but a touch too flattering. Georgiana, like her brother, thinks that Elizabeth is the loveliest woman in the world, so she will protest against this assessment.
“He will like that,” said Elizabeth, hot and frustrated and covered in paint. “But mine…”
She trailed off and looked with a critical eye at her own attempt. To call it inexpert would be too kind.
“Fitzwilliam will love it,” said Georgiana earnestly.
Elizabeth made a face.
“He will!” Georgiana pressed her hand. “Elizabeth, when Fitzwilliam buys you hair combs, or shawls, or whatever else you have taken a fancy to, it is never truly about any of those things. He is showing you that he cares about you, that he is thinking about you. He will see what an effort you have made to paint a place that is special to him. That is what makes it so meaningful.”
Elizabeth looked down at her painting.
It was a good thing that Fitzwilliam loved her so much. I am still very fond of this line. ;)
***
“You must not laugh.”
Fitzwilliam looked at her with some confusion.
“I have painted you a landscape and you must not laugh.”
The corners of his mouth began to curl upward.
“You must not smile, either.”
He hastily composed himself. Another favorite exchange.
She sighed and presented the painting to him. A look of mingled tenderness and amusement crossed his face.
“I shall hang it in the picture gallery at once,” he said.
“You will not,” said Elizabeth, “or I will have it back.”
“You cannot have it back, it was a gift.” And another. I had a lot of fun with this chapter in general, and this section of it in particular.
She continued to protest against his hanging it anywhere, and he continued to insist that he would. To Elizabeth’s relief, however, it never appeared in the gallery.
Instead, the landscape remained, in a place of prominence and importance, in the recipient's study, where it was cherished rather more highly than any other piece of great art in his collection. Fitzwilliam Darcy, big old sentimental softie.
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thank you so much @velvetcrowbar444 for tagging me to talk about 5 things im obsessed with at the moment!!
this got longer than i anticipated so im putting it under the cut, but for simplicity's sake i'll tag people up here: @nights-decay, @boycentriccplot, @flaming-tsunami, @sourgelatin no pressure though of course!
persona 5... ok i have to be honest ive been really reluctant to talk about this on here and its why ive been quiet the past at least week or so. no idea why. i guess cause its so different from the stuff i usually post about that i feel like, embarrassed? but i started playing persona 5 royal around may and really liked it but i didnt have the time to properly get into it until now and it has completely taken over my life entirely without me even realising. to be honest i could obsess over like a rock on the ground if i saw it at the right time in my life but hands down persona 5 is one the best if not the best game ive ever played in my life. the story is engaging, the characters are distinctive and realistic and i really really care about all of them, the gameplay is so much fun and combat is buttery fucking smooth like nothing ive ever played before, the music is top tier and what got me interested in the game in the first place, and the ART DIRECTION. it speaks for itself to be honest ESPECIALLY compared to the older games. i was shocked starting persona 4 because of how different it is to persona 5 like, persona 5 has SUCH a distinct visual identity as well as tone, themes, imagery etc it is all just so stunning and perfect and i want to live in it. but i think about it so often like literally 24/7 that i may as well be. i <3 persona 5 and i <3 YUSUKE KITAGAWA. he's definitely my favourite character and he came out of NOWHERE but hes actually everything in the world to me. one of the characters ever.
persona 4 is it a copout to say that? i did try and condense both games into one bullet point but 1. they're such a mainstay in my life right now i was struggling to think of more points and 2. it kind of lost its precision and didn't effectively convey just how personapilled i am right now. i originally wasn't gonna play 4, all i knew is that it was more difficult and less good so i thought i should stay away. but if you go anywhere persona-related on the internet (which i would warn against, the fandom is a fucking cesspit the likes of which i havent seen in a long time as an obscure-shit-enjoyer) you'll quickly run into adachi. and as a lover of men with high-pitched voices and sexypedia entries... i couldn't stay away. before even starting the game i had made a d6 and d20 with different adachis on each face so really it was just a matter of time. and you know what... it's not that bad. the graphics were a SHOCKING step down but i find the low(er) poly style really charming. the adachi model is too cute T_T whenever i see it in the game world i just wanna sit with it for ages. i wonder if i could get it like 3d printed so i could keep him on my desk with me at all times... its bad for me ! the combat is fucking clunky espeically compared to 5 and i kind of hate it but that just makes it more rewarding when i can finally stop LOL. some of the characters (especially the main few (yosuke, chie, yukiko)) took a bit to grow on me but its kind of sweet.. its like authentic.. our relationship is growing as i get to know them better... but dojima and nanako ive loved since i first set eyes on them. too cute. it makes me feel so fatherless. its like.. a lot more magnetic than i expected it to be. i love it even with all its flaws. i saw a meme about it being like twin peaks and thats kind of so real. and you know i love a murder mystery... so yeah tldr i like persona now. but its hard to talk about it on here because it is such a big fandom but not like an active one like spiderman or like good omens or whatever slightly more normal people are watching so its kind of intimidating. maybe ill get over myself, maybe ill go silent for 3 months until i get into something new. we'll see i guess LOL
my gender identity TUMBLR MOMENT I KNOW but i dont know.. ive had a lot of time to myself recently and its kind of brought things to the surface that i just didnt have time or space to think about before. turns out there was a LOT OF STUFF i was repressing without even knowing. like that tweet 'im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn'. i posted on instagram "gender around cis people: boy, gender around trans people: girlboy, gender by myself: computer program" and that kind of sums it up i think. can i coin like.. complicatedgender. where your answer to the question "whats your gender?" is "it's complicated..." cause thats me. its just COMPLICATED okay!!!! but my pronouns havent changed or anything so its chilllllll
going to bed at a reasonable time. i phrased that like a joke answer but its true. i downloaded pokemon sleep and now i go to bed at 11:30pm cause at 11 i get a notification saying my pokemon are sleepy and shit i gotta take care of my pokemon!! i dont even know if its doing me any good to be honest like i dont feel much better when i wake up but making myself get into bed and shut my eyes means more thinking time and to be honest my favourite activity is thinking. even if as silly as it sounds i never give myself time to do it. its playing a weirdly big role in my life rn so yeah id say im obsessed with it!!!
this asmr video. im secretly always posting about asmr so really i could just say that, but like, ASMR | The Mortician (No Talking – You're Dead) specifically is such a mainstay i can feel its influence seeping into my life like an infection. this video would actually show up in my recommended for YEARS but i never watched it. gave me a major ick for some reason. but then i got into this guys stuff and saw it again and thought id give it a go and now its like an extra limb. fuck my 3rd bullet point, this is my gender identity. i could not articulate in words what it is about the mortician that i love so much, but i really really do. i am certifiably obsessed. cant believe i made it through this whole thing without mentioning alex. but there you are. yay this was fun :D
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2023 Art Summary
Some of the many things I worked on over the past 365 days. More details below.
Happy New Year!
Just like last year, 2023 was full of even more character art, including a brand spanking new OC. You haven't seen much of the comic yet, because it's not done, but there's been progress on that in the background as well. I also started commissions last March. None are featured in this post so I could focus more on original art, but I wanted to give a special thank-you to all my past commissioners. Not a single one of you were a customer service nightmare, in fact it was quite the opposite. I appreciate everyone who's been kind enough to give me work and treat me well.
The rest of this post is going to be some of my favorite pieces by month, and a little about them. I usually spare my followers from most details in my posts, because there's often not much of interest to the public to say, so this is mostly self indulgent.
January
I decided to revisit Tom and Maudlin, as I hadn't drawn them much since creating them. Whenever I make a new character of importance, I try to go out of my way to put them in varied poses and expressions so that I am able to understand how their bodies work by the time I need them for a real project. It's also a great way to explore their personalities, although I feel that I'll have to push Tom's emotional side more in the future.
February
Props for the comic! It sucks to have to design things on the fly, so it helps to have notable objects designed beforehand. Especially if it's important to the plot. Some of these appear in more panels than others, but it smooths out the comic process nevertheless to have ample references on hand.
March
More character designs to spare me from designing mid-comic production. If they don't have lines in the comic, then I ask random people to assign names to them to make it fun, and because it's easier to keep straight who's who when they're not named Man 1 and Man 2. Left to right, they are Johnifer (you can already see why I name the ones with dialogue myself), Wanda, Jean Vincent, Booker, Charles, Maribelle, and Gertrude.
April
It'd be silly of me to pretend as if 90% of my output isn't shitposts. When you dedicate most of your art time to a project, then you're not going to end up making any other art unless you satisfy primitive monkey brain somehow. In my case, that's usually addressed by drawing funny shit. Early this year is when I discovered how easy it is to crack jokes with Scatterbrain. This goofiness is now embedded into her personality permanently. Expect more of this.
May
April-June is when I do my Art Fight preppin', which usually consists of me making a list of my most neglected OCs and giving them some attention. I also try to get around to eventually making all of them a reference sheet in this style, just so they have something standardized between them. This year, Walla Walla had her turn. She's a shitpost character, so I won't be drawing her much again, but she's a good excuse to draw some J-fashion doodles. My interests outside of cartoon stupidity don't really make it into my art often, so she's a minor outlet for some of it.
June
I've made even more character designs this year than last year, but they were all background characters, making Raoul the only new important one. He's been officially-unofficially written into the story since 2022, but it's very hard for me to make OCs that are written before they are designed. Everyone else was designed first and assigned a role in the plot later, so he got put off for a good while. I finally got around to it though, after I killed some darlings. He is now an all-new species, and I modified the chain design to something less clunky compared to what would be historically accurate.
July
July is, of course, Art Fight month. All other art is put on pause. This year, my favorite attack was a drawing of Enchanted Bones for my friend Bugles. I drew the character independently from the background, which is why the lighting situation is as unfortunate as it is, but we don't talk about that. Thank you to everyone who attacked me and made awesome art, I'll revenge you maybe in a few years. Sorry for the wait, but the backlog is mighty long.
August
Stanson got a slight redesign in the last year, so he can fit with the style of the comic better. He's actually the oldest character out of the bunch. I had no purpose for Scott when I made him and threw them together in the same folder. I had a few one-off designs that I figured I'd keep around in case I ever did an OCT, but these two got yoinked out of it when I started getting story ideas for the them. Stanson is a cowboy (not really), so it became a western setting to make sense of it. I plan on giving him the same sketchpage treatment the other characters have gotten, but I've been putting it off purposely for a while. You'll just have to wait.
September
And there it is, the inevitable page of Raoul getting into various mischief (and subsequently getting his ass beat half of the time). He has a very abrasive personality that gets him into trouble. I don't want the comic to be heavily action-based, but he naturally lands himself in these positions and it lets me draw characters in new situations. His introduction to the story is still a long way off at this point, but I can't wait to pit him against Scott in some slapstick shenanigans.
October
Spooky month is incredibly busy for me in real life, so there isn't as much time for art as I'd like there to be. That's why I dedicated all my time that month to trying to get Halloween art done in time. I've been a fan of Homestar Runner since childhood, and as soon as I thought that Raoul would pull off a Jigen Daisuke look, I knew I wanted to do a full Homestar-esque set of costumes. The other ideas quickly fell into place. My version came out way more detailed than theirs usually are though. The spirit of Halloween possessed me.
November
I started going full gear on the comic around this time (I think 28 hours in one week when I stayed home), so there's an absence of polished personal art here. Scatterbrain eating some spaghetti is my placeholder art for "I worked on a website a bunch instead". It's far from done, but I've made major strides since then.
December
A secret santa gift for my friend, Toby! I continued doing mostly comic work, but I also made room for a secret santa and scheduled a bunch of art trades to complete between December and March. The rest still have to be completed, so you'll see that throughout 2024. Anyway, Toby's OC, Thomas, is based on the state of Michigan. I plastered him on a postcard in front of a highway sign with some Robins because they're the state bird.
There were many more drawings of course, and you can find them scrolling through my Tumblr, or on my DeviantART (I switched to Tumblr as my main site in late August). I hope the new year brings many improvements and happiness for everyone. Last year my goal was simply to start on the comic, which I did, but it was also to get it uploadable, which I didn't. I'm gonna have to aim for the same goal again. Life things were largely fine but still tumultuous enough to throw me off-course, but now my most dangerous family member has moved out and it should be somewhat safer to live here. Not 100% safe though. It never will be. I generally avoid talking about the comic extensively as I won't have a solid release date for some time, so this is the last you'll hear of it for now outside of the rare WIP screenshot. Wish me luck and have a wonderful new year!
#art#artists on Tumblr#Happy New Year#long post#art summary#2023 summary#summary of art#summary of art 2023
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The Digidestined Guessing Game. Thanks to Firedragon1321 I’m going to continue doing this.
Let’s talk about Miyako now. She also really has to contend with the drama of a full household and siblings and really has to take advantage of vulnerable situations to get what she wants.
Whether this is fighting at the dinner table for a dessert orbasically stealing from her self employed mom’s store to ‘buy’ snacks (that poor mom losing all that revenue to the bottomless pits of in training Digimon!) she has to scratch and claw her way to get what she wants otherwise she was left with nothing but scraps.
I believe that this aggression is how she bonded with her family and in turn she saw aggression as respect in a familial way. That’s why when she has conflict but there is no anger she seems a bit lost at first emotionally. And for her to lose in essence is her pride and standing being lost.
I find her dynamic fascinating. She’s like a clunky Mimi who has to manipulate her way to get results but she is not as smooth or gentle about it so just kind of comes off as being too aggressive even when being nice. (Probably why she adores Mimi so much. She is the older sibling she always wanted).
I think her most iconic moment for me was when she was arguing with Hawkmon who was very politely trying to tell her to be careful climbing down a steep slope to get to the Digimon emperor’s base, and she is so psyched up like a manic bear starving for food she listens for a moment, gets offended and then starts ripping into him asserting her dominance as an independent young headstrong woman (if I remember that right).
It sums up her character nicely. It’s not a detriment to her, but it was a moment where she learned that being that headstrong and forcing her own way could bring pain for those she loves.
Back in the day I used to hate this character. I hated her design, her attitude, and even her relationships and how she gets jealous easily and is so dam flirtatious and outspoken about it. (But underneath it I was mad Hikari and Takeru were not DNA digivolving partners. I still am lol).
I came to realize over time that she is basically a mama bear grizzly. She learns from Hikari when to be gentle and Hikari learns from her when to be grizzly. They play off each others strengths quite well.
Although she is still my least favorite I can respect her character development and how she really has carved out a path for herself growing from an immature prideful pushy sister you would hate to have in any situation except when someone is trying to hurt you to a reliable friend who can recognize and act appropriately and quickly to any situation. She still has fits of anger but really that’s only when someone is making really stupid decisions.
I liked her character growth. I liked how I hated her before but then really saw her change and adapt and I am all the more impressed by just how cool a character she used to be now.
Sometimes I think we get the impression of a character as so unsettling we can’t see just how much they changed because their original traits just grate on the nerves.
So now let’s see if you can guess which Digidestined she is talking to based off of these situations.
Digidestined A: There is no way we can do that! We got to just rush in and get it over with!
Miyako. (Two Digidestined holds her back). Are you stupid or just dense?! Just think about it! If we don’t do this then x, y and z no thanks to your boneheaded mistake!
Digidestined B: I think we should consider the situation. There are a variety of factors we have not seen. And from my dark history it could benefit us in this battle.
Miyako: That’s our Ken! Always helping us see the other side. We should go over this at the coffee shop later. You’re buying, right?
Digidestined C: I wish I could be more headstrong as you Miyako. At least a little.
Miyako. Heh, you will. Trust me. I’ll show you the grrr in girl power.
Digidestined D: Assess the situation. Think calmly, rationally and then get everyone’s input. Then you can make your decisio-
Miyako: No. we were taking about dating advise not a general rule for every day living. You’ve got to make time to get out more.
Digidestined E: You’re right about being cautious, but from what I’ve gone through sometimes you have to make the hard decisions even if others may not like it. When things are just so murky and grey you have to be able to risk making a judgment and it may not always be the right call.
Miyako: Never quite thought about it like that, but yeah I agree! So let’s get going! I’ll handle this part.
#miyako inoue#digimon zero two#she’s my least favorite but she is still cool#how many times has she gotten jealous especially over a guy#ahe gets better fashion sense as she gets older#Digidestined quiz game!
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