#Trans stuff

[stargazersasha]

soooo fucking tired of hearing the “gay guys arent into tits” “lesbians arent into dick” bullshit. during pride month. you bitches never rest.

EVERYONE has tits. EVERYONE has a dick. EVERYONE has a cunt. i know this is hard for yall because a lot of you are terminally cisgender but i really dont care, i’m done letting other people’s politics that they were served by heteropatriarchy stop me from telling the truth. sex and sexuality are both social constructs. sex is also EXTRAORDINARILY malleable. people can do whatever the fuck they want. lesbians and gay men are grown fucking adults, we are complicated human beings, we do and think and want a great many things. TONS of lesbians love sucking dick, and tons of lesbians like having their dick sucked. it doesnt fucking matter if that dick is a strap, it doesnt fucking matter if that dick used to be a clit, it doesnt fucking matter what anyone else thinks about that dick or about those lesbians. same goes for gayguys and tits. gender words are small things. body words are small things. fix your heart and grow the fuck up

[transsissyblog]

Say hi if youd date a trans girl

Reblogg if you'd bend over for one 😈

[lugarn]

The idea that all men are dangerous and all women are perfect angels destined to be future victims if they spend time around men is tied so deeply into fascist thinking and second-wave feminism. If you see somebody saying things that align with these ideas, even if they're not spouting transmisogynist shit at the moment, you can be assured that they believe these things because the ideas of men as predators and women as helpless.

Anybody who starts talking about inherent behaviors based on gender/sex, even good things, should be steered well clear of because they are already two-thirds of the way to the beliefs needed to support transmisogyny.

The most frustrating part of being trans is that you can't win.

My uni has quite a few all-gender washrooms. (Specifically all-gender, cis people are absolutely encouraged to use them). And despite the fact that there are womens washrooms everywhere on campus as well, I've had cis women treat me with borderline disgust when I use the all-gender bathroom. I've had people tell me that "sure, its all genders, but when a cis man uses it its just weird".

And like. Thats the point! Even IF a cishet man using a washroom he is specifically allowed in was weird. Even then. You have to understand that no trans or nonbinary person can safely use an all-genders washroom if using it means they are either trans or female.

Like to be very clear- I am a cis-passing trans man. There are so many reasons I feel more comfortable in a non-gendered washroom. Even if I was cis I woild likely want to, because I am gnc and don't always feel safe in purely male spaces. And even if I was the cissest, hetesst, most gender conforming man on the planet, I might still want to use it because its closer to my classes.

And really, this all comes back to this deeply transmisoginistic idea that Men Are A Threat to Women in Womens Washrooms,, which. If I have to explain to you why this is purely a propagandistic falsehood I really think you need to do a gender 101 course.

Gender neutral washrooms cannot be "women Lite washrooms". In order to protect trans people, at all stages of coming out and transition and of all presentations, for the love of god stop dictating who can use all-gender washrooms.

[transgwender616]

Autistic people are good trans allies because they'll just straight up forget what your dead name even was.

[lizardho]

Before I knew I was bisexual I was just insanely dramatic and weird around guys I liked. I had a crush on this guy in my ward - he was older than me, he played bagpipes and had a cheerful dog and an old Volkswagen bus that he worked on all the time. He also had nice scruff and unnaturally attractive hands and a good sense of humor, so I was like FULLY smitten.

I talked about him a lot and about how he was just so dang COOL, dang it, because he was so frickin’ cool. And I really liked him. I thought he was funny and smart and interesting and cool and fascinating and a bunch of other weird feelings I barely had the attention span to think about (I think my ADHD may have prevented me from coming out for a while tbh).

One day, I’m like 14-15, his dad is called to be my Sunday School teacher. His dad is this ex-military hardass with a chip on his shoulder for absolutely no reason and unattainable standards for his children. He spent most of Sunday School talking shit about his eldest boy and how he was rebellious and didn’t listen to him and how that was going to make him a bad adult and a bad son forever. How his son was too lazy and unmotivated to be successful because he didn’t listen to his advice on how to read the scriptures. He complained about how our generation was too weak to do things right and that our generation would surely be the one that brought the world’s downfall because of our laziness and sin.

And like, first of all, that guy can already go fuck himself for that. To clarify, that’s already stupid. BUT. He was talking about the man I had uncomfortable dreams about at least once a month. I couldn’t stand it. I’d get so mad I’d go home shaking sometimes because how fucking DARE he insult his hardworking stunning son by calling him lazy? For not reading the Bible the way his dad wants? When he’s already spending his time learning bagpipes? And fixing cars? And being cool? And cute? Who the fuck even cares if he uses the footnotes in the Book of Mormon? Who gives a rotten rat’s ass if he doesn’t use the scripture study manual his dad uses? He’s so cool he doesn’t even need it? So fuck off?

And eventually I got fucking Sick Of It and decided to mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean skip class. I’d just not go. And after a bit, adults started noticing and bugging me about it. At first, this was put off by small talk and excuses, but as my absence from Sunday School became more well-known, my excuses began to be rejected.

“Oh, Lizard, why aren’t you in class?” Uhm idk because my Sunday School teacher is mean to his kid and that makes me so mad wtf do you want from me? 🫠🤔

“Where’s your class, I’ll go with you!” Oh no ty I’d rather peel my own eyes than have my taste in men critiqued tyty 🩷

“Lizard, you should go to class, I’m sure they miss you!” And I miss the innocent days where my stomach didn’t hurt when a cool boy I knew was being belittled but unfortunately for us both those days are LONG gone and all that’s left is a budding psychosexual clusterfuck that will render me almost fully incapable of functioning for the better part of a decade so Bye Bye, sister Smith 🙂‍↕️

It had gotten to the point that ward leadership was involved. I was being approached by members of the Young Men’s presidency and the Bishopric to try and make me to back to class. They were telling me God had told them to find me and instruct me on my rebelliousness. This is where I implemented my secret weapon - women. Mormons are weird as hell about a lot of things, but especially about women. And I was GREAT with women. So to combat the leadership’s attention, I started helping women.

Our ward had a lot of new moms with babies who were, as babies tend to be, fussy. But for Mormon women the church is often their only social outlet, so they try to power through as long as they can even if it means enduring the exhausting ordeal of taking care of a fussy baby at church.

For what it’s worth, I have a lot of sway with babies. I got baby street cred. Me and babies have a rapport. I have always known this. I have always loved this. And in this crucial gay time in my faggot life my baby mind powers came in clutch - Every time I saw a member of the bishopric getting close, or a young men’s leader giving me side-eye, I’d start walking slowly towards class, passing by relief society. I’d wait until a mom’s baby had gotten too fussy and needed to leave the room, and I’d swoop in like a knight. “Oh, don’t you worry sister, I’ll bounce him a bit. You go back and hang out with your friends in class. You deserve a break.”

If it was a diaper change or something they’d tell me no. But if it was just some good old-fashioned baby fusses, I mean, they’d be moved almost to tears. They just got their social time back AND a free babysitter who is renowned as the Baby Whisperer. And because I was holding a baby as a favor for someone else, I of course could not reasonably be bothered to return to class.

So just like that, I was out of everyone’s sights. This went on for about a month before the straw that broke the camel’s back, which was that without my class participation the classes were quiet and awkward. I’d often take the brunt of Sunday school lectures by answering questions impulsively and over explaining myself enough that the clock could run out without anyone needing to do or say much. My absence meant everyone else was getting hit with the full unpleasantness of this guy’s bullshit. And so slowly, one-by-one, I had a group of about 8 kids on baby-holding duty. These new moms were so overjoyed, they and their husbands were both so actively in our corner that now chastising us was untenable. Now we had bargaining power. So the Bishopric approached us, confused beyond confused and uncomfortable beyond uncomfortable, and said,

“What’s it gonna take to get you back to class?”

The POWER I possessed in that moment was addictive. By being kind to the women of the ward and ignoring the Mormon de facto Rule of Law of following rules en-masse so the rule breakers feel left out, there were now so many people breaking ranks that we had effectively enacted a church boy labor strike. And they crumbled so fast it was almost like we had swayed God himself to our cause.

“I want brother assholedad gone. He sucks at teaching.”

I didn’t even have to say it. One of my rebels said it for me. I just nodded sagely and said “Yes, his class is not edifying. It’s better to not go and hold babies.”

And just like that, with a snap of my limp-wristed, Christ-wounding, bottom-brained fingers my faggot will was enacted. God’s revelation that brother shitdad was his chosen Sunday school teacher flipped on a dime. Suddenly brother shitdad was asked to be an usher and the fun dad of another one of my crushes was called in to teach us. I still stayed to hold babies a lot, but the rest of the class returned and all was well again.

Although I didn’t recognize it then, I think that was a formative moment for me in a lot of ways. I learned that being really persistently annoying will get me what I want from authority eventually. I learned that God’s will can be swayed by going in strike. I learned that ignoring men’s made up authority forces them to level with you as a person. I learned that caring for women, especially vulnerable women, can make a whole world happier. I learned that letting women rest can help them feel more love for the things that matter in their life. I learned that social bonds make everyone stronger and happier. And I learned that loving others in a gay way can change the world.

Be gayer. Read Terry Pratchett. I love y’all 💕

[earlgraytay]

So the "don't call trans women dude" discourse is back on my dash, and I just read something that might explain why it's such a frustrating argument for everyone involved.

TLDR: There's gender-cultural differences that explain why people are arguing about this- and a reason it hurts trans women more than you might think if you were raised on the other side of the cultural divide.

I'll admit, I used to be very much on team "I won't call you 'dude' if it feels like misgendering, but also I don't really grok why it feels like I'm misgendering you, especially if I'm not addressing you directly." But then I read an academic paper that really unpicked how people used the word 'dude' (it's Kiesling (2004) if you're curious) and I realized that the way I was taught to use the word was different from the way most trans women were taught.

... So the thing about the word 'dude' that's really interesting is that it's used differently a) by people of different genders and b) across gender lines. This study is, obviously, 20 years old, but a lot of the conclusions hold up. The gist is, there's ~5 different ways that people use the word "dude":

marking discourse structure- AKA separating thoughts. You can use the word 'dude' to signal that you're changing the subject or going on a different train of thought.

exclamation. You can use the word "dude" the way you'd use another interjection like "oh my god" or "god damn".

confrontational stance mitigation. When you're getting in an argument with someone, you can address them as 'dude' to de-escalate. If you're both the same gender, it's homosocial bonding. If you're different genders, it's an attempt to weaken the gender-related power dynamic.

marking affiliation and connection. Kiesling calls this 'cool solidarity'- the idea is, "I'm a dude, you're a dude. We're just guys being dudes." This is often a greeting or a form of address (aka directly calling someone dude).

signaling agreement. "Dude, you are soooo right", kind of deal.

Now, here's the important part.

When [cis] men use the word 'dude', they are overwhelmingly using it as a form of address to mark affiliation and connection- "hey, we're all bros here, dude"- to mitigate a confrontational stance, or to signal agreement.

When [cis] women use the word 'dude', they're often commiserating about something bad (and marking affiliation/connection), mitigating a confrontational stance, or giving someone a direct order. (Anecdotally, I'd guess cis women also use it as an exclamation - this is how I most often use it.)

Cis men use the word 'dude' to say 'we're all guys here'. It is a direct form of male bonding. If a cis man uses the word 'dude' in your presence, he is generally calling you one of the guys.

Cis women use the word 'dude' to say 'we're on the same level as you; we're peers'- especially to de-escalate an argument with a cis man. Between women, it's an expression of ~cool solidarity~; when a woman's addressing a man, it's a way to say 'I'm as good as you, knock it off'.

So you've got this cultural difference, depending on how you were raised and where you spent time in your formative years. If you were assigned female at birth, you're probably used to thinking of the word 'dude' as something that isn't a direct form of address- and, if you're addressing it to someone you see as a girl, you're probably thinking of it as 'cool solidarity'! You're not trying to tell the person you're talking to that they're a man- you're trying to convey that they're a cool person that you relate to as a peer.

Meanwhile, if you were assigned male at birth and spent your teens surrounded by cis guys, you're used to thinking of 'dude' as an expression of "we're all guys here", and specifically as homosocial male bonding. Someone using the word 'dude' extensively in your presence, even if they're not calling you 'dude' directly, feels like they're trying to put you in the Man Box, regardless of how they mean it.*

So what you get is this horrible, neverending argument, where everyone's lightly triggered and no one's happy.

The takeaway here: Obviously, don't call people things they don't want to be called, regardless of gender! But no one in this argument is coming to it in bad faith.

If you were raised as a cis woman and you're using the word the way a cis woman is, it is a gender-neutral term for you (with some subconscious gendered connotations you might not have realized). But if you were raised as a cis man and you're using the word the way a cis man uses it, the word dude is inherently gendered.

Don't pick this fight; it's as pointless as a French person and an American person arguing whether cheek kisses are an acceptable greeting. To one person, they might be. To another person, they aren't. Accept that your worldview is different, move on, and again, don't call people things they don't want to be called.

*(There is, of course, also the secret third thing, where someone who is trying to misgender a trans woman uses the word 'dude' to a trans woman the way they'd use it to a man. This absolutely happens. But I think the other dynamic is the reason we keep having this argument.)

[uwuppa]

[my-castles-crumbling]

Tbh my favorite part of pride month is saying “AND DURING PRIDE MONTH TOO?” at every slight inconvenience.

[crankydevon]

Also you'll run into a bunch of potential housemates, lovers, and employers who want you to quit. They don't want smoke around, even if it's from a vape. Smoking rates overall have dropped enough (in the US) that being a smoker is a BUG not a FEATURE. Modern workplaces are not structured around smoke breaks the way they were 50 years ago. People outside of bars really do not accomodate smoking.

The cost in actual dollars (or other currency) is HIGH, and it will get higher the more you get used to it. The stuff you need to help you quit is also expensive! Patches and gum are not cheap.

Do future-you a favor and just don't start. 5 years from now, you'll be glad. 20 years from now, you'll be so relieved you didn't smoke.

if you’re a baby trans and you haven’t started smoking cigarettes or vaping yet don’t. it’s actually not that hot or interesting. It will just cause you ungodly frustrations and suffering and cost you a bunch of money and be next to impossible to quit

[yournonbinarypal]

[comicallyqueer]

Old art :))

[assumptionprime]

I’m not yet used to the obstructed view (we made gingerbread houses today)

[pppeddler]

Reblogging because I decided I'd do a Pride Month sale on these. Going to give 10% off on each of the ones left until June 30! Please reblog if you can/want to so this can reach a wider audience. Thank you :]

Sooo I submitted this post to the packersale blog the other day and apparently it has now gone defunct? Anyway I’ll try to get this out there by myself then because I cannot for the life of me figure out livejournal.

I am selling some members of my herd of packers/STPs/peens in general that I’ve accumulated over the years.

1) Reelmagik STPPro 6” uncut, colour M2. Tried wearing this out two days total, used it maybe ten times overall; sadly, it’s too big for me as I have quite a small frame. Bought new for 699$, reselling for 500$.

2) Transthetics EZP Junior natural/uncut, colour light. Was worn occasionally for a while but is in very good condition. Bought new for 195$, reselling for 100$.

3) Transthetics Hot Rod, colour light. Trimmed the rim off of this one where it attaches to one’s anatomy to make it work better for me. Still barely used as it didn’t really work for me after that, either. Bought new for 195$, reselling for 50$ because of trim.

EDIT: sold 16/5/25

4) Banana Prosthetics STP3, colour T1. Only tried out once. Bought new for 95$, reselling for 80$.

EDIT: sold 27/5/25

5) Banana Prosthetics SP6 soft packer, colour T1. This one has a manually trimmed-off tab because I didn’t know you could ask them to send you one without tab. Otherwise unused. Bought new for 55$, reselling for 20$ because of trim.

EDIT: sold 27/5/25

6) New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 stroker/packer, colour caramel. Unused. Bought new for 70$, reselling for 50$.

7) Ackobom FTM 2 in 1 LX19 packer/STP, size S, colour fair. Unused. Fair warning with this: it’s extremely flimsy and unless you’ve got some supernatural STPing skills, probably only works if you’ve had meta with UL. Bought new for 95$, reselling for 70$.

Contact me via secretsideaccount@yahoo.com if you’re interested in any of these.

Can provide pics for all. Every single item will be thoroughly cleaned, boiled and disinfected before shipping. Most of these come with their original packaging/storage bags/pouches. Free shipping within EU, but willing to ship outside if wanted and if buyer pays for additional costs. Would be packaged and labelled very discreetly. All sales are final, no returns.

[thegoblinwitch]

scottish trans/the equality network have shared a how to and templates to email your mp/msp about the supreme court decision from april 16th if you're living in the uk. they have templates for both trans peeps and our allies.

if you live in the uk, please take a few minutes to do this (they even find who are your representatives so you don't have to do it yourself) and if you're from outside the uk, please take a moment to reblog for visibility. thank you.

[nikkiunicorn900]

Will you love me to unveil my magic wand on you?

Reblog trans lovers💦🍆 if you want me to unveil it on you🔞