#Truly this self confidence shit rules

[galaxseacreature]

Did you know? If you ask for things (more money) sometimes the answer is yes!

[rjunhuang]

how the harry potter boys would react to you hooking up with someone else. — part two.

featuring: cedric diggory, neville longbottom, blaise zabini, oliver wood, theodore nott.

warnings: lowercase intended. gender neutral reader. informal writing?? they're a bit toxic. bullying. boys are dumb. kissing. unhealthy coping mechanisms. my depiction/fanon!theo. mentions of weed, smoking & other substances. mentions of sex.

note: here's ur part two!! thank u for all the love and support for the first part. y'all had me smiling and shit. send in requests for more prompts if y'all would like that.

part one | comments & reblogs are appreciated! <3

cedric!  there's no doubt that cedric diggory is a people's pleaser. all in all, he has a heart of gold but he's blinded by naivety to realise the red flags of his friend group. unfortunately, their toxicity does sometimes have an affect on the said golden boy. thus how a heated and disheartened rant about how you chose roger davies over him to his friends would lead to gossip, tattletales, and undeniable amounts of insolent comments. the 'rumours' of you and davies would spread like wildfire with those chatterboxes, and especially not positive ones on the ravenclaw guy. you'd caught clear moments where cedric would be snickering along with his mates as their eyes followed the motions of your boytoy.

he'd been laying down on the fresh grass with the support of his elbow, a cheeky grin spread across his lips as his gaze switches back and forth between his friends and the couple. some goon would get the brilliant idea to throw a core of an apple at roger. cedric's cheery expression would immediately drain out of him and be replaced with one of regret — "wait, come on, you didn't have to do that." he'd even shoot you a sympathetic look when your gazes connect.

this would be a common occurrence as his friends only grew more confident with their obvious distaste towards your fling. almost every matter would result in an apology from cedric, whether verbal or not.

"my friend was being a dick so, uhm, sorry about him. truly." his voice soft and airy; it brings the same sensation as a sugar cookie.

on the other side of things, you'd begun receiving bouquets of flowers and hampers of your favourite foods — someone was definitely keeping an eye on what you sneakily snacked on during classes. it would always be signed with a beautiful doodle of a butterfly, and sometimes if you were lucky enough, a short sentence of a romantic affirmation. it would've been creepy had there not been cute attempts from your admirer to prove otherwise. every note addressed to you would always have some sort of psa in brackets like 'i'll totally stop if you want me to', 'i really hope i'm not coming off as creepy' or a silly self-deprecating joke to turn the intensity of it all down. it also couldn't be creepy given the time with cedric's friends and this secret admirer fiasco being so obviously correlated.

you knew for certain that these gifts weren't coming from roger. sure, the attention the ravenclaw gave you made you feel desired and attractive.. but he barely even cared to get to know you. dates with roger were so dang boring — it felt like an awkward, unwarranted staring contest. it was clear he was only attracted to you visually. roger would never know you the way this secret admirer (who was so obviously diggory) did. it made you feel giddy — the epitome of a high school student in love. it wouldn't be long before you dump davies.

entering his muggle studies classroom, cedric would find a note placed on the desk where he usually sits, along with a daffodil. it reads — 'i hope you like flowers, diggory, because our date's going to be at the greenhouse.' unlike him though, the note is signed with the clear letters of your name. it's safe to say cedric was having trouble focusing on the rest of his class, his head in the clouds at the thought of you returning feelings.

neville!  it's unspoken rule that you and neville longbottom were to be herbology partners no matter what. it became a habit after years of doing so. you two worked best in the partnership of each other, earning highest ranks in the subject throughout all your years. but.. that was it, really. the moment you stepped out of the greenhouse and entered to real world of hogwarts, all sense of familiarity between one another left your bodies. you always chalked it up as neville being too shy to interact with you outside of class, and vice versa. it didn't really bother you. something about those tender moments during class hours warmed you up like no other. it was special and vulnerable and if it could only be obtained between the confines of many plants and some jabbering students; so be it. 

to neville, it made sense that you guys were strangers outside of herbology. i mean, merlin, you were one of a kind. you brought a light into a room that no one could resist looking away from. like moths drawn to a flame, you gained sort of a status among popularity. there was no way a guy like neville should be seen near a person like you. or so he thought. 

it shouldn't have been a surprise that neville was one of the last to find out that you were going on dates with dean thomas of all wizards. aesthetically (and probably personally for all he knew too), dean and you were a match made in heaven. both popular enough, well-liked, and most certainly good-looking. yet despite it all, neville still couldn't help but feel so bummed. he didn't even want to think of what it meant for your upcoming lessons in herbology together. how you'd stop clutching onto his shoulder to laugh at whatever awkwardly funny thing he'd said or no longer timidly compliment his good work for the day before leaving the class. would you smile at him less? reserve them for dean instead? the thought was awful enough and neville was certain he didn't want to know the answer to these insecurities. 

when the next lesson of herbology rolled in, you were definitely surprised to see neville seated with hannah abbott instead. you tried to shrug it off, thinking of it as a one time occurrence. but, oh, were you so wrong. 

he was ignoring you. you knew by the way he'd purposefully avoided your eyes with a gulp as you'd try to catch his attention during class. he'd placed himself rows away from you, secretly admiring you with yearnful eyes. the thought of you and dean never left his mind. and if you tried to talk to him? he was straight out the door the minute class was dismissed, running away in his usual, clumsy manner.

the lack of neville's presence in your life saddened you a lot more than you expected. you found yourself drawn to the greenhouses even during odd hours, reminiscing over the memories you had spent there with the gryffindor boy among the years.

the dirt under your hands seems to ease your mind of any worries as you take it upon yourself to fix a broken potted plant. you'd be so preoccupied by the task, you fail to notice a certain boy walk in and get stunned by the sight of you in there. neville's arm flying up and almost knocking over an empty glass jar was what brings your attention to him. you have to resist the small smile creeping up the corner of your lips.  neville, on the other hand, straightens up after he gently places the jar where it supposed to be. his head is down as he mumbles, "right, sorry, i'l—" "stay." your gloved hand immediately flies over to grab his wrist, doing your best not to dirty him. "please." the pleading eyes of yours seem to work as neville makes no attempt to dash out as usual. he stays firm in his place, watching you with wide eyes. seeing that he doesn't speak up, you do the honours instead. "i've missed you. you don't seem to want to sit with me anymore." you gently start with a soft smile.  the words 'i've missed you' knock the wind right out of neville. his heart stutters and mind dizzies. "oh— i just— dean, you know? thought you wouldn't have wanted to talk to me anymore. i—i mean dean's great! perfect! you're super fit. obviously, great. who wouldn't like you? hah, i certainly do, but i didn't want to bother—" your lips are crashing against his the next second with burning cheeks. it shuts neville up from his rambling. he can only gawk at you when you pull away, his face beet red. "i think you're pretty fit yourself, nev." you manage giggle out.

blaise!  michael corner was great. those were the words you used to describe your recent date with him. those were also the words your friends, pansy parkinson and theodore nott, affirmed back to you. they, along with a silent blaise zabini, were the first to hear the news about your love life's new contender. 

sitting by the courtyard, you twiddle your thumbs nervously after revealing your budding romance with corner. pansy, the closest to you physically and personally, happens to notice your skittish demeanour — well, it's hard not to. "michael corner? the ravenclaw? that's great. he's great." her voice slightly strains and you don't know if this is her attempt to ease your nerves or if she's incapable of genuinely complimenting a man.  "oh, yeah — great." theodore adds, with a devillish grin, which earns a shove on the shoulder from the girl. they then share an odd look (well, more of a glare from pansy) together. there's a silent conversation happening which only confuses you. who knew nott and parkinson suddenly gained the ability of telepathy. dismissing their odd reactions, you take the opportunity to glance over to blaise — who has his head down, reading a potions textbook. you don't know why you yearn for blaise's approval but he remains silent, deeply entrenched in his reading. you chalk it up to him being in one of his nonverbal, introverted moods and don't try to take his lack of interest in the news too personally.

over the course of time, nothing much changed between your friend group. it still contained the dynamic of pansy and theodore bickering, whilst you and blaise mediated. though, once in a while, you jumped in on the banter yourself.

"oh, nothing better than ganging up on nott, yeah?" theodore would sarcastically chime in with the roll of his eyes.

things with michael had been going well enough, a little slow maybe. your time spent with your friends on some days got cut short due to your plans with him. sometimes, you swore you saw a twitch in blaise's jaw whenever you brought up your fling's name. but maybe that was your imagination — how could blaise be annoyed or upset if his expression remained completely neutral? had you not known him better, one might think he was bored in the company of his friends with that face of his. 

after weeks of slacking off, you decide to make this particular day a studious and productive one. given your big age, it was best to be responsible and get some extra reading done for your studies. you can't blame blaise for his similar habits — education at hogwarts seemed to be growing tougher day by day. it's why today you'd do your rare visit to the library. struggling to reach for a copy of 'magical drafts and potions', you feel yourself grow a little self-conscious by your foolish-looking predicament. however, a hand from behind startles you, saving you from the plight. you blink in surprise, craning your head to see who this mysterious helper is. blaise is looking down at you with a hint of a smirk. he's still hovering behind you, hand clutched onto the spine of your desired book. the ghost of his smirk is irresistible to look at. you feel a little shameless staring at his lips like this but, merlin, the intensity of this moment has you fully engulfed. you swear you see his smirk widen a little and blaise takes the opportunity to poke fun at your blatant staring. "still think you want corner?" blaise's voice is monotone to a deaf ear, but you can tell he's feeling a bit smug.  he gives you no chance to reply, handing the book over before walking out. you stand there baffled, bewildered and actually questioning if any other wizard could set your heart ablaze the way zabini just did.

oliver!  oliver wood loved his routines. he loved to wake up at dawn to train before the morning birds are even ready to sing. he, well, endured the classes he's forced to sit and progress through in order to keep quidditch in his life. he loved to charge back into the fields after lunch, ready for another day of practice. and surprisingly to most, he loved to hang out with you by the black lake afterwards, all sweaty and disheveled from the exhilarating sport. 

he's not oliver wood if he's breaking these habits.

so the one day he didn't show up to your cute little meeting point, you're stunned. you thought — oh godric, all those jokes you made about 'a bludger getting to him before you-know-who ever did' have finally come true. he must be dead if he's not living up to his schedule! 

but you're wrong. he's certainly not in the care of madam pomfrey or working overtime at the quidditch field as both places were definitely deserted when you came by to check. 

so where the hell was the captain? see, unbeknownst to you, oliver caught you snogging marcus flint right as he approached the lake. slytherin quidditch captain marcus flint. he found it crazy how out of all the students you could've picked to kiss, it was the one man oliver despised. they were practically enemies. and though you owed him no decision-making in your love life, oliver felt betrayed. hence, he turned his heels, making no effort to disturb the two of you as he stormed his way back to his dorm. 

the following silent treatment and petty attitude from him left you more or less disheartened. he was a close confidant, and the way he managed to drop you without a word shattered you. he'd stop talking to you overall. you even learned from a conversation with alicia spinnet that he'd started to become a lot more grumpy during practices — harder on his teammates, giving them lesser breaks, he'd brought forth a sort of 'no pain, no gain' attitude into the environment.

any time you glanced his way, you noticed the bags under his dark eyes. clearly, his nights were nothing but restless. if you thought he was obsessed with quidditch before? you'd hate to see him now. he'd never left the fields or his broom unless madam hooch or, worse, professor mcgonagall dragged him out of there by his ear themselves.

concerned would be an understatement. this man was tweaking out all because of you and flint. pretty sure he'd recovered from quidditch loses better than this. 

you're practically rushing to the hospital wing when you hear the news that wood collapsed in the middle of practice. that lack of sleep must've gotten to him because oliver is beyond exhausted. madam pomfrey has forced him into bedrest (she'd have him shackled to the beds had it not been illegal) — he can certainly lay off quidditch for a while. worry paints your features as you peer down at oliver, clutching onto the side of the bed. he can only (attempt to) glare at you as you flood him with questions about his health. "why haven't you been sleeping? have you been eating? why are you overworking yourself like this — interhouse isn't until next season." oliver scoffs, his throat a little croaky. "why do you care?" he grumbles, crossing his arms like an upset toddler in the process. "don't you have flint to fret over?"  and it hits you — after days of this trivial behaviour from wood — that this man was fucking jealous. you don't know if it's inconsiderate to laugh at this realisation, so you resist. "we ended things." is all you give him, holding back from any sort of expression. it's clear you really don't feel bummed by it. the reaction you get from him is beyond elated. he breaks out into a grin and you can practically see the confidence return to his system. he's looking at you like he wants to sweep you off your feet and kiss you. like he's just won the lottery. so bloody euphoric, all oliver can reply is "oh."

theodore!  he is a pretty codependent person in my eyes. especially since he's recovering from a weighted past. when you started hooking up with ernie macmillan, all his bad habits came crashing down. you were his anchor — he'd often vent to you about his problems with his father at home or whatever struggles he faced with his friends sometimes. he hated to know that any brewing feelings he had towards you were never going to be reciprocated. 

he started going to class high. it's so miserable to witness. he promised you before that he'd quit or at least lay off on his substance related habits a bit — that he'd only do it socially if he wanted. showing up to class with red eyes and a mind elsewhere was not smoking socially. it's a miracle professor snape had his biases towards slytherins because if another teacher as observant as the greasy haired twat were to catch theodore, he could kiss goodbye to hogwarts. thankfully, snape never noticed this change either, too busy shaming a gryffindor during his classes instead. 

soon, you were hearing rumours of nott breaking every girls heart out there. it's one game after another with them. which was all the more surprising because theodore was never really a player. most of the public saw him as one of those untouchable hot guys — he was much less likely to sleep around compared to his other slytherin companions. it was like theodore had done a full hundred and eighty. his mindset was; if you were going to be messy, why couldn't he?

your final straw would be at the news of his newfound habit of getting into fights. seeing him enter the great hall every morning with a black eye became an uncomfortably common occurrence. sporting and piling up this many wounds was a horrific sight. it seemed like even malfoy and his goons were growing concerned.

theodore had been on his way out after breakfast — probably ready to sneak into a hidden cranny or abandoned room to light himself a joint before classes were to start. only merlin knew whether he'd decide to skip a few of these classes or not today. his exit out the great hall was cut short when he passes by the hufflepuff table. in a matter out seconds, one of the boys from the house is pinned to the table, food scattered and other peers watching in horror. theodore's knuckles turn white from how hard he's clutching onto the guy's collar.  you can only helplessly shoot up from wherever you're seated. the expression theodore holds is too grim that you have no backbone to interfere. whatever he's sneering to the hufflepuff is inaudible to the rest of the students present. it's not long before one of the faculty pulls them apart — "it's far too early for such nonsense!" screeches mcgonagall in her distinguished scottish accent.

judging by whatever the hell you had witnessed earlier that morning, you knew you couldn't keep allowing theo to shut you out like this.

pacing around in circles, you wait in the moonlit courtyard for your close friend. without a doubt, he'd show up in need to escape the chaos of the slytherin dungeon. there'd been many nights where the two of you sat here together, hiding from patrolling teachers or mr. filch. the theodore with you then was boisterous, happy, healing. he felt far from the guy you were about to confront. a soft footstep against the gravel behind you is the signal that gets you to whip around. you face the dark haired man with a stern expression, walking over to him in a fierce manner. "what the fuck has been going on with you?!" you whisper-shout, frustration evident when you shove his chest back.  theo's reaction is to clench his jaw, his eyes not daring to meet yours as he looks away. he stumbles back a bit from your push. "i don't know what you're talking about." he attempts to brush you off. feigning nonchalance and disinterest, he keeps his hands stuffed into his pockets. this doesn't stop you from inquiring further. you bring up anything you can — "is it your father again?", "malfoy then?", "stress? merlin, theodore, just talk to me." the two of you bicker back and forth, each sentence spat growing more and more exasperated.  finally, theo fesses up, tired of your endless and awfully oblivious queries. "merlin— it's you!" he hisses out, running a desperate hand down his brown locks. "it's you and your loser loverboy and how my stupid heart can't fucking handle watching you be happy in the arms of another man who isn't me." you notice how the rim of his eyes begin to grow red. it startles you but you can't ignore the excitement in your heart either. "and you thought it was smarter to ignore me rather than confess?" for the first time in the argument, your tone is one of lighthearted humour with the corner of your lips itching to smile. 

[hyunjins3rdleg]

🍸 What’s Your Poison?🍸

Hi,I’m AJay! Nice to meet you,honey🩷

• Bbygirl of ‘01

• Pisces🌷Princess

• Somehow managing to work a big girl job in the real world of the USA

Just vibin’ & thrivin’ on my fun little blog sharing my cute little ideas with cutie patootie strangers.

(That’s you, babe. You’re the cutie patootie💋)

*Stray Kids🥟 (mainly writing for Hyunjin)

*Enhypen🦌

Join me for Happy Hour Gossip!

I’m open to request or a chat if you’d like to giggle,rant,or cry with me!

*Request🔒:fake text(predominately),drabbles,au prompts,etc(I have more time for shorter fics)

*I will not write member x member or poly(just not into that,sorry)incest/step siblings, taboo/hardcore themes, include the members’ real life family, and I will politely decline your request if it’s something I am not comfortable with writing or speaking on :)

*Stray Kids are real people & therefore everything below is completely fictional. This doesn’t reflect who they truly are in any way, shape, or form. I am not trying to misconstrue who they are in real life.

Don’t forget to touch grass,babe <3

✨Everyone’s welcome at Stay’s Bar✨

(especially my fellow Black stays🤎)

**MDNI & SFW Rules**

Minors(16+)are free to interact with my blog as long as you keep it cute & appropriate.

*SFW* Fics are safe for the younger stays and will usually only have profanity listed as the main warning.

*MDNI* Fics are self explanatory and should not be interacted with unless you are 18+

Keep it cute or get blocked <3

Angst⛈️/🌩️; Fluff🧸; Smut/Suggestive🔥

FWB!Hyunjin Text Series 🧸⛈️🔥 (MDNI)

A late night text accidentally sent to one of the artist you’re working with leads to a half a year long agreement and Hyunjin wants more…

(fwb to lovers)(IdolxMusic Producer!Reader)

Fix Your Face, Please! 🧸🌩️ (MDNI)

Hyunjin’s very vocal about how jealous & possessive he can get, and although it can get troublesome you find it kind of hot…

We Were On Break!! 🌩️🧸 (SFW)

Your ex boyfriend, Hyunjin, has a hard time accepting the end of your relationship and is very persistent on getting back together…

Corporate Gang 🧸 (MDNI)

JYP Co. gets a new IT-Agent and you can’t help but gush about him to your favorite coworkers…

(Nerdy,shy!Hyunjin Series)

Take Your Friends Out ⛈️🧸 (pt.1 ) (MDNI)

Your boyfriend has stood you up 3x this month and you decide that you’re done with being second place. Of course he disagrees…

Don’t Say That To Me ⛈️ (pt 2.) (MDNI)

Months after you took Hyunjin back you have to face the tough reality of falling out of love with him and end things for good…

Stress Induced Fever 🧸 (SFW)

Your job has decided to transfer you to their USA branch for a year and Hyunjin is failing miserably at holding himself together before you leave…

Sad Nudes? 🧸 (MDNI)

You’ve had a shit day and Hyunjin tries his best to cheer you up thousands of miles away…

I Love You. Now Date Me! 🧸🌩️ (SFW)

Your bestfriend has been jokingly telling you he’s in love with you for years only for you to find out it’s not a joke…and oh yeah, he HATES your boyfriend…

Babe, I Broke It 🧸 (SFW)

Hyunjin broke your brand new coffee mug and he’s taking it harder than you are (soft bbyboy)…

I Really Like You, Like Romantically 🔥🧸(MDNI)

Your best friend asks you for an insane favor of helping him lose his virginity and discovers his feelings in the process…

I Will Win! Fighting!🔥🧸 (MDNI)

You and Hyunjin make a friendly bet to survive No Nut November and despite his persistent confidence on winning, he eventually gives in…

Emergency Contact ⛈️ (SFW)

You and Hyunjin had a mutual breakup over a year ago, but apparently he forgot to remove you as his emergency contact and feelings are revisted…

Safe,Loved,& Accepted ⛈️ (SFW)

Bang Chan has been making light of the nasty comments you’ve been getting online until you are put in a sticky situation and he’s worried sick a thousand of miles away…

Have You Always Been This Hot?? 🔥🧸 (MDNI)

Attempting to survive No Nut November with your best friend Chan brings forth feelings neither of you knew existed…and really good sex…

I Just Want To Help ⛈️ (SFW)

Your ex Hyunjin takes it upon himself to help you with financial difficulties after months of no contact, but he never expected you to fight him every step of the way…

Wanna See It Up Close? 🔥🧸 (MDNI)

You always jokingly try to convince your best friend to get laid and he jokingly tells you to take his virginity (except it’s not a joke)…

I Hate You. All Of You. 🌩️ (SFW)

A sneaky picture brings your relationship and trust crashing down and he refuses to let it all go over a stupid misunderstanding….

Keeping Secrets 🌩️ (SFW)

Felix’s antics leaves Hyunjin an over dramatic mess and it takes an entire week before he confronts you about the secret you’ve been hiding…

Is This A Trick Question? 🌩️🧸 (SFW)

It’s not a secret that Hyunjin’s perusing you romantically, but despite returning his feelings your past relationship holds you back. Little did you know Hyunjin was just what you needed to try at love again…

Model!Hyunjin Text Series 🧸🔥(SFW/MDNI)

At the height of his career, Hwang Hyunjin goes down the road nearly every 24 year old with fame in the public eye does - sex, money, and rebellion. You accepted a job set up by his parents to get his reputation and career back on track, and you’ve known no peace since thanks to your very clingy (and unashamedly in love) client…

(ModelxAssistant!Reader)(grumpy gf,sunshine bf)

I’m Gonna Ride You. 🔥🧸 (MDNI)

Your friends thought it would be funny to hack into your phone to prank Hyunjin while you’re in the bathroom. Unfortunately, this little prank would lead to one of the most embarrassing (amazing?) nights of his life…

[ludolka]

More H&HAU thoughts !! Now regarding Grian/Xelqua and identity issues

H&HAU Grian is an interesting character when it comes to identity. He has three personas that he switches between

The first and “true” one is just Grian, the one he most sees as his authentic self, the one he identifies with the most. This is the one he only shows around people he feels the most comfortable with. He’s affectionate, very jokey, unhinged, blunt and honest to a fault. He’s also confident and kind of arrogant, but he doesn’t overestimate or oversell himself or his abilities. He’s very expressive and gets passionate very quickly. He also demands respect from anyone who expects to be respected by him and he doesn’t take anyone’s shit. He can easily stand up for himself or others

The second one is PR Grian. This is how the public sees him, he acts this way in all of the Bad Boys interviews and on camera. This version of him is very reserved, private and while he seems friendly enough, he’s also very unreadable and appears bored or uncaring most of the time. He also seems arrogant and confident, but kind of in an untouchable and admirable way

The third one is Xelqua, the one Grian swears is the least like how he views himself. Xelqua is the identity his cult gave him when he was a part of that as a teenager, so it makes sense that he’d dissociate this part of him from himself. Xelqua is unserious to a fault, he’s very eclectic and overall very all over the place. He’s arrogant and overconfident that is bordering on a god complex. He’s untouchable and unattainable, keeping everyone at an arm’s length, but at the same time keeping everyone hooked. He’s rather confrontational, he acts like he’s either above or on the same level as everyone, no matter their status

But the thing is that these three personalities aren’t as distinct as Grian would like to believe, there are a lot of similarities, especially between the “true and original” Grian and Xelqua. This is rather clear for everyone who knows him enough to have seen or known both sides of him for a longer time period. Xelqua is like an exaggerated version of his “true self”, the one where he feels safe enough to act however he wants without any real consequences because only a handful of trusted people know his civil identity and he’s clever enough not to get in too much trouble with the police to get him arrested. The one he feels most in power and control in, the one he feels he truly is safe from harm. The one where he can pretend he is someone completely different, without all the troubles and traumas of his actual life

So, piggybacking on that last sentence, Grian is very careful on keeping these personas (especially his civil vs vigilante identities) separate. They don’t mesh, they are in different worlds, they are different people. Because if they bleed into each other, he will break. All of these personas are their own respective safe spaces and escapisms from the others, keeping them so far from each other is self defense for him

Mumbo, Jimmy, Joel and Lizzie know that he’s Xelqua and no one else from his civil life does. Doc, from the hero/villain side also knows that he’s Grian as they have been working together pretty much ever since Grian started doing vigilante stuff. And Doc is clever enough to know how much of a taboo this is for him, that Grian is more than willing to go scorched earth and burn every bridge built between them if he is even threatened with his civil identity being revealed or leaked. This is also the biggest and pretty much only rule Xelqua has for working with Doc, respect his private life and don’t get any people he cares about involved. So Doc has the Bad Boys (+ their manager) and Mumbo on their protective/do not go after list that everyone in his guild is required to respect unless they want to be kicked out and handed to the police or killed

Xelqua is dangerous and deadly when he wants to be, but for the most part he doesn’t care enough or take this whole vigilante thing seriously enough to want to. But as soon as his “real” life is involved, he switches and no one is able to stop him from tearing everything and anything apart

[egg-emperor]

I can't believe people think making Eggman into a depressing pathetic failure and secretly insecure groveling woobie loser incel that's miserably desperate for love, with the only reasons he's evil being due to mommy and daddy issues and bullying, isn't even really evil or even enjoy being evil, and can be completely changed in a second by the power of love and family- is actually a good and preferable characterization for him

I'm so happy game canon Eggman isn't like that at all. That he really has immense genuine self love and confidence, that it's not "Woe is me why won't anyone love me", instead being like "YEAH I'm the fucking best smartest and sexiest person ever and I know I deserve the world and you WILL worship and serve and obey me if you want to live lol" His true self love and confidence and entitlement is his entire motivation instead of a sob story

^ His self praise and confident full of himself laughter and stride, this is a man who truly believes he's the best fucking thing on the planet and deserves it all (and he's so right lol)

You can always see his immense passion for his evil and ruling the world and deep belief in his self love and superiority, with his wide grin of absolute glee, jolly laughter, and energetic enthusiasm. He doesn't need validation, he KNOWS he's the best and DEMANDS everyone else to acknowledge what he already knows, it's why he wants to be worshipped and praised by the entire planet and rule and run it his way

It makes him so fucking charming because he's a major asshole and does super evil fucked up shit but he's so damn passionate about it and having such a blast you have to adore him for it. That's what makes him lovable and it's so much better than the scenario of if it was just because he's so pathetic and insecure and desperate and sad that have to feel sympathy and want to fix him. He has real qualities

I'm so happy that Eggman isn't going anywhere because he's the one true main Eggman in the games and that's never gonna change. The passionate evil genius who genuinely loves himself so much that he feels he deserves the world literally and loves trying to accomplish it with fun diabolical evil. And his passion, enthusiasm, and unshakable confidence keeps him dedicated to accomplishing it because he truly believes he can do it

That's my boy and I'm so happy that he'll always be here to stay 🥰💜

[kings-highway]

I apologise if this question has been asked before but- when did you get into writing and do you do it as a job? your writing is truly impeccable and I’d love to begin writing but I’m not very good lol

The true answer to this question is "as long as I can remember." I turned 25 just a few days ago, and would feel comfortable confidently saying I've been writing for 20 years. Not... Seriously of course, but some of my most early memories are of stapling paper together to make little books i wrote. I do remember, though, the actual moment in which I decided I wanted to write novels, and it was directly because my older brother had said he was going to write one. I was probably ten or eleven? Its hard to remember. I often credit him as being the reason I write, because I literally remember sitting down and starting a book that evening. He also taught me the rules for starting new paragraphs which I vehemently hated and swore I wouldnt bother doing ever but then immediately inputted into my work.

Alas, I do not get paid for writing. I am working on self publishing a novel of mine, but truthfully the publishing industry is so fucked up and so... Antithetical to things I (and I would bet on most writers) love about the craft. Did you know, that its industry standard to include 3-5 titles of published novels "similar to yours" in your cover letter to an agent to "prove you know the market/marketability of your book"? And most of the time they request you to only reference books published in the last 5 years. Basically codifying into their process that they're only ever gonna churn out copycats. Let me tell you this right now, i don't consider marketability for one goddamn second when I write. I write because it's who I am, it's like breathing for me, and I don't fucking know "similar recently published titles" because what real writer gives a shit about what anyone else is doing??? I'm writing MY stories, thank you. But evidently we're at that stage of society where publishing is just about money and if there's one thing thats true about me is that I would rather never make a dime off my writing than get sucked into a contract that forces me to churn out a YA series for mass market appeal.

Ahem. Uh. Rant over.

On that topic though I think I would greatly enjoy being an editor or working in the writing industry in other ways but I am probably never going to be a traditionally published author ✌️also I have no idea how to break into that industry and am terrible at networking so. Alas. i must fund myself other ways.

And you didn't ask for this, but you mentioned at the end of your ask that you want to begin writing but that you're not very good, and my true solemn genuine advice to that is to remind you that you have to be that way when you start. Like... Writing is something that you naturally improve over time. By reading and by physically writing, every time you do it, you get a little better. But there's no way to skip to the next level. So... You might not be great at writing. Im not gonna tell people "oh art is subjective im sure your writing is amazing" because the truth is, language is difficult and writing is a skill. And you have to practice it. But the moment you pick up a pen, you begin to improve. Before publishing any fanfiction online, I had completed five novel length stories, and the first one I ever completed sucked fucking ass. (Also I was 14 so... Sorry 14 year old me for saying your work sucks ass but it does) The fifth one was mediocre, not as embarassing. Im even proud of it. But the novel I'm trying to publish? The novel I wrote after committing a million words of fanfiction to the page over 3 years? That shit is good. Its well written. And those 3 years got me there because of constantly writing, because of the practice I put out. You HAVE to write your obligatory words of garbage before you get to write something great. Im so sorry about that. But if you love writing, and if you want to write, and if you have a story to tell, then there's no better time to start honing those skills. Every time you finish a work, the next one will start even better off. And I, personally, am so excited to see where I'll get to be in the next three years, because I'm sure it'll make my current works look mediocre.

I just don't want people to look at my work and think it's unachievable. I have those 2 decades of wanting this really badly. Of wanting to be this. But thats the only thing I have that you might not. Everything else you can learn. My skill is nothing but practice, and if you give yourself the time and space to learn the craft as well, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from being an absolutely phenomenal writer. But you do have to, you know, write.

[weiila]

About posturing in Helluva Boss

I made a joke post a few days ago about Satan being an angry crier and that's why he needs Yogirt, but I'm only half joking.

A very prominent theme in Helluva Boss is characters putting up a facade of toughness and strength when they're actually close to a meltdown or trying to fake it until they make it and being terrified of being found out.

Blitz is the prime example of course, because he's the main character - his anger and insults hide a very caring and desperately lonely interior.

Fizz is very much the same, a loudmouth who truly believed he could not be loved without earning it, and for years played the role of the sassy jester while in constant fear of losing everything he had worked so hard for.

Loona had to pretend to be a savage, violent beast in the pound to protect herself, but broke down the second she thought nobody was looking. She still has trouble showing Blitz she does care (until Mastermind).

Ozzie is very different when he's working - which is how he's introduced in Ozzie's - compared to how he is in private, which we see later on in Oops.

Millie is an unstoppable murder machine at work but a sweetheart as soon as she can clock out (and sometimes during work as well).

Bee MIGHT be the most honest character we've seen that has been on screen for more than one episode, but there are probably more layers to her as well. I'd say Striker too, BUT he tries so hard to be cool yet can't keep his head on straight when things go bad.

For a minor character, look at Crimson. He seems like this scary, imposing mob boss, but he buckles the second he's out of subordinates and Millie heads towards him. He manages to play it cool as he surrenders Moxxie, but there's zero resistance despite what he's painted himself as. Oh yes, Crimson has absolutely killed people, but if he was half the badass he pretends to be then he'd at least try do deal with Millie himself. But he doesn't. Most likely he can't fight for shit and has only managed to take out people weaker than him or with tricks. Without his underlings he's got nothing.

Now Hell as presented as very much a dog-eat-dog place, so them putting on this air is absolutely a way to survive.

And then there's Satan.

Satan created a whole species to specifically be obedient. Why? Because it makes him feel superior.

Satan flat out lies about being the first ruler of Hell, but Lucifer isn't around to correct him. Would he say that if Lucifer was? Probably not. But he says it because he knows nobody present dares to correct him. (This was vague in the episode with Ozzie and Bee just looking annoyed but confirmed by Viv in case you haven't seen that tweet being reposted.)

I have zero doubt that this dude has self-confidence as sturdy as a gnat. He can't handle being questioned or called out or worse of all, have his power being doubted.

And about Yogirt: Satan can't even keep his own Sin under control - he needs a support demon to do that. None of the other Sins we've spent time with, including Lucifer, are ruled by the Sin they represent - not even Mammon. Even if Mammon is absolutely greedy, he's enjoying himself and more importantly he can control himself and realize when to back off without needing outside help. Satan cannot do that. He needs a lil' dude to flutter up to talk about him about breathing and gemstones, or he loses it.

Every Sin, plus Charlie and Ars Goetia, transform when they get angry, and it seems like it's involuntary to a large degree (angels also seem to have this issue). I believe that the Satan we saw in Mastermind is actually his full demon rage form, BUT he desperately wants everyone to think that's his casual form (and that you wouldn't like him when he's angry!). If he lost his temper too much, it would become obvious that he doesn't change to become even scarier and then everyone would know that the imposing, godlike dragon man isn't what he really is.

My humble conclusion, dear reader:

Satan is nothing but a master fraudster, the ultimate faker-till-you-make-it and he's scared spitless of losing that image. Satan is the weakest Sin because he's controlled by his Sin instead of the other way around, but over millenia he's managed to con everyone into thinking he's the biggest badass in the land.

... except possibly Belphegor since she must have been the one to assign Yogirt to him. Keep a few eyes on that sheep, people. She knows things.

Anyway Satan is probably on the road to having a breakdown of epic proportions because Blitz is about to become his worst nightmare and it'll be glorious.

[astroyongie]

Riize February Reading 2024

Note: please take it lightly

Shotaro

Love: Shotaro is still dating the idol he was dating in the December reading. Things are going well, the relationship is healthy and there isnt much to say about it at the moment. Since December nothing changed 

Career: one thing I have noticed for every Riize member while shuffling is that the career for them are a meeting a set back. When it comes to Shotaro, he was very disappointed with the new rules the company gave them and he is rather upset with the change of plans for this year. 

Self: despite the chaotic moment of the career, he is okay. Shotaro have been talking more with people around him, he isnt isolating myself anymore and the support of his partner has been proven to be positive on his behavior 

Eunseok

Love: like you guys know, he came out of a relationship around October/November. Still now, things are complicated and his heart is aimlessly roaming without a clear path. I think he is still healing and trying to forget the feelings he had for that person

Career: he was probably the only member that was happy with the new schedules for Riize and the change of plans and concept. Eunseok’s sponsorship will also work to put him under the spotlight 

Self: he is a little upset because of the argument he had with one of the members. This was mostly due to career and the competition they have between them. Eunseok got really upset with the fact that he lost an opportunity to this other member

Sungchan

Love: the way he is coping with his love life is extremely unhealthy. Sungchan has been having behaviors that could be unhealthy and harm him. Although he does that because he just want to forget about his own heartache, he isnt doing things correctly. Some people could get hurt around him too

Career: needless to say, for him the companies choice for the group this year is shit. He feels like the group will go through stagnation because of it which makes him white annoyed. 

Self: currently he is going through a very complicated moment. Physically and emotionally he isnt okay (this is probably due to the behaviors mention above). Sungchan should be careful with his health or there will be a possible hiatus for him if he keeps this up.                    

Wonbin

Love: whatever relationship he had in December, they finished a couple of days before. The person took the decision to leave Wonbin after a mistake that he has made. He is very disappointed  on himself but also on this ex because he thought that they would fight for it 

Career: he is scared that the news schedules will but the group into a lighter spotlight. Wonbin truly believes that the company is stupid for making such marketing decisions for them 

Self: other than that, he is feeling very confident with himself. Despite the setbacks, Wonbin is someone that knows his worth and he acts like the “leader” when it comes to his own choices. 

Seunghan

Love: he is still single and he isnt seeking for any realtionsho at the moment, since he knows he can’t get someone of his “league” while he has an issue with his long term success that is currently limited 

Career: he is so exhausted and sad. Seunghan wants to come back but the company havent given him any green light for the moment. Seunghan feels overwhelmed with everything that has been happening around him and he is truly upset about it 

Self: as expected, his mood is rather low. I think he is rather on the sad side lately, mostly because he feels like he has worked hard for nothing. He needs to take care of his mental health

Sohee

Love: he is still dating, but lately he has been more focused on himself than on his partner. Sohee is been a little self centered and focused on his career. I dont know what his partner thinks about it

Career: like the others, he is pissed. Sohee is also kind of scared about the new concepts and the new turn the group needs to take for this year, because he doesnt know if people will take it well 

Self: focused on himself like I said and on his own well being. Everything that is happening around him and with other people, isnt of his concern at the moment 

Anton

Love: I believe that Anton is in a complicated situation where he got rejected by someone but where he also rejected someone who confessed to him. He is feeling a little overwhelmed when it comes to the heart 

Career: he thinks that the whole new concept is boring as hell and he doesnt like it at all. Although it is his work to do his best, Anton isnt doing the new schedules with joy 

Self: he has been dealing with some set backs. Emotionally he is scared of the future and he has been having some troubles to sleep as well due to anxiety 

[miradelletarot]

Trauma Dump Hours

Apologizing in advance. This is gonna be HEAVY FEELS. I just...need somewhere to put all of my thoughts down so feel free to scroll past this.

**This is HEAVY mental and emotional trauma with mentions of abortion within so please be mindful of the content below the cut**

I have made mentions of my parents before, but never really went into too much detail about my relationship with them because of everything else going on. But, in light of some things that have happened recently, I need to just get these thoughts out in some sort of order...which might not happen but here we are. So my relationship with my parents has been interesting to say the very least. i was raised in a very conservative catholic home. Silent gen dad, and a boomer mom. both very intolerant of anything they don't agree with. My dad is the epitome of hating everything that doesn't align with his beliefs...If you aren't white or straight especially, and do not live the traditional lifestyle that he feels one should abide by. (hopefully that paints a picture for you).

Anyway, I am the baby of my family. My brother is 50 and my sister is 49 (they are a year and 4 days apart). I arrived 12 years later. I was very well and truly an OOPS. My brother is the golden child, my sister, the problem child (former, anyway, but she was definitely more wild than they liked,) and I...well, I had to be the perfect one to do as my parents wanted 100% of the time.

my mom had no self-esteem and raised me to be the same way. never be too confident and sure of myself b/c it was unbecoming to do so. I had to always get good grades, and always follow the rules. If I ever did something wrong, i got the wrath of my father (that stern, military rage). So, as i got older, my mom would hide things from him on my behalf, but only if I did something for her. Things like keeping secrets from dad, hiding mail so she didn't get in trouble with the finances again. If i ever dared to stop doing that shit for her she would blackmail me...would threaten to tell my dad all the shit i did wrong if I stopped helping her. Basically, I was scared and brainwashed into having ZERO autonomy or individuality. If I showed any emotion other than happiness I always had "an attitude." But, I saw my mom's behavior as if she was the only one in my corner...my buddy who kept my secrets for me because no one else would.

I struggled in school, but almost always got As and Bs. I had to work my ass off for it too. Math was always a sore subject that made me and dad lock horns. He's a math wiz, and I'm not. I'm not well read because I HATE reading books. (thanks school for ruining that for me). history? forget it. i have a horrible memory. But, if i ever got a C? holy shit i was a failure in their eyes. I feel like I am so far behind everyone intellectually that it's hard for me to have conversations with people sometimes because I feel like I can't keep up. By the time I got to high school was when I finally started to see what they were doing to me, but I was too afraid to break free. Honestly? i didn't know I had a choice in the matter. When I was in college, I had to be in remedial math. When my dad found out (b/c he was paying for college,) he literally screamed at me in the financial aid office b/c he couldn't believe I was in such a low math class. His apology? "I just worry about you, and i want you to do well." What a fucking joke. Again, in college, I was big into choir. we had a huge spring performance that we NAILED and we wanted to celebrate. So, we carpooled and went to a nearby club. I was barely 20 so i had the wristbands of course. I CALLED my mom to ask if i could go. Told her who i would be with, where i was gonna be, and that it would be WAYYYY late before I get home. Said I would keep my phone in the car b/c I knew i wouldn't hear it or feel it vibrate, but i could call her when I leave even if it was like 3 am. She said no need, and let me go.

So, in I walk at 330 am to both my parents in the living room, and my dad SCREAMING at me that I am just like my sister. out partying at all hours doing "god knows what." I was dumbfounded. My mom didn't even look at me...just sat there as I got ripped into. Wanna know why that happened?? Because SHE PRETENDED SHE NEVER GAVE HER PERMISSION. She told me later that her and dad had to have a "united front" and I had "no right to be mad" at her. When I tell you I leveled my room into an absolute mess that night and cried myself to sleep. the betrayal I felt...as a 20 yr old, a legal fucking adult, and I had no voice. no independence. My relationship with them has gone south ever since.

Of course, several things have happened between now and then. Their relationship is very transactional, and always comes out with me needing to serve THEM for them to be happy. for them to see me as worthy. But, my mom likes to throw it in my face whenever she can about how great my brother is. How stable he is. that bitch is single and has no kids. fuck him. he's an incel anyway.

Mother's day this year was the last straw for me. I called my mom out of obligation. in that 15 minutes she gushed about my brother's financial stability knowing how hard i have been struggling since I left my husband. I told her how proud I was of myself, that I was doing all these things with very little help, and making so much progress in such a short time. her response? As deadpan as possible "Congratulations. You're finally adulting." Finally? FINALLY? Not like I had been trying FOR YEARS when my irresponsible idiot of a husband was the one who had the control. I left my childhood home and walked into another relationship with a person who was just like my parents. A transactional, mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. I was his shadow because i felt like i HAD to be. When he wanted to leave me in 2021 for that very reason i thought i would literally die. That's when I found my spiritual practice. when i started to really change and try to find myself. and yet, he STILL didn't like who I was. Hence, why i finally found the strength in me to leave him back in December. I got no support from my parents. They wanted me to move in with them....ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY EX...just so i could be close to my children. I'm only 15 mins away from them. I see them when I can with the 2 jobs I work for shit pay. I'm busting my ass to pay off my car. Have they ever called in the 6 months I have been gone to ask me how I am??? If I need help?? NO. And why would they?? Between my mom and dad both, I was told on three separate occasions that they wanted to abort me. But I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT THEY DIDN'T. Why would I? I have lived my life feeling like I was never good enough, that i was a worthless burden to the world. All because i was conditioned to believe as such. Thankfully for my sister, she saw through their shit a long time ago, and left home when she turned 18. i wish I understood why back then...but I was a kid. All i knew was how hurt my parents were, or how they seemed to be, and I believed that if I did anything to hurt them i was a bad person. I couldn't be like my sister. because that was a bad thing. But...nothing makes you feel more unloved and unwanted than your parents telling you they didn't want you. Then act surprised when you block them and don't want to speak to them. I can't go thru 38 years worth of shit they did, but this was some of the bigger/more recent stuff. It's amazing i never blocked them sooner (though, being across the street from them at the time was certainly a factor...)

It's why my identity means so fucking much to me. i felt like my name is not my own, my existence isn't my own. Why I want all the labels that I feel make up who I am so i can have some fucking semblance of understanding about what makes me "me."

Aside from spanking as a kid (which was normal back then sadly,) i was never physically abused. i had a roof over my head, I had food when i needed it, I was clean, had nice (not name brand) clothes...all the necessities, but I never *ever* had a healthy grasp on my mental health. never had healthy coping mechanisms for my emotions, and I never felt truly loved by my parents. better seen than heard, and if i was seen it was always to do something that made my parents proud so they could brag about me. I was a trophy. A puppet.

And today, as i sit here, wondering how tf to deal with my parents...I am anxious and scared. i feel like a child all over again, trembling like I am about to be scolded. All because i was conditioned to believe that my feelings were worthless and wrong. I have gotten 2 voicemails today from my dad, telling me I "need" to call them. To explain what's going on. Suddenly, they are worried. Suddenly, they care. But I know it's only for their satisfaction. part of me wants to pour my soul out and light it on fire so they can see how much they hurt me over the years. Part of me wants to pretend they are dead and forget they exist. I am not sure what to do.

So, if anyone ever wonders why Gale means so much to me...why i have such a mental and emotional attachment to his character. this is why. because aside from my 2 bffs, he was the only other entity that made me feel loved and worthy, and it breaks my heart that he isn't real. For now, though, he's a beautiful escape.

idk if I need anything rn...I'm not sure where to go from here. I have no idea what will make me feel better. getting some of it out helps. Being in therapy definitely helps. If you read this then you're a damn trooper...or a glutton for punishment, idk. Either way, thank you for listening to me.

I really don't expect anyone to say anything or even read this. It really isn't necessary. But please know that for the many of you whom I have befriend on here since I joined tumblr...I am grateful for you all. Just being in this space has been so healing for me. thank you.

[astrologanize]

april 2024 sun sign horoscope

aries sun: it's one of those months where whatever you have in mind...trash it! let life lead this month. there will be a lot happening so enjoy the ride

taurus sun: a big time for practical self-care as you slowly but surely get your shit together. don't get overly invested in anything this month because things will be redirected. you need to take any dissatisfaction in your life and let it inspire you to do what you need to so that you can improve your circumstances

gemini sun: some things are not going to go your way this month but they won't be too major, it'll be more like 'eh that sucks' and then you go about your day. there will be nostalgia happening and you will still be reminiscing on the things you're unwilling to let go of but ya gotta get out of the past and away from what you think something should be. try to have self-discipline and understand that new chapters happen when you're open to them

cancer sun: there will be setbacks and/or you will be voluntarily taking a step back this month and prioritizing emotional matters/close ones. there may be something you are entering into as a beginner this month or you may just be taking the backseat on something instead of feeling the need to steer. i'm seeing important conversations that have the potential to be healing, try to say what you truly want to say as considerately as possible - try to avoid mindlessly running off at the mouth

leo sun: aw, your month is pretty cute! you're going to need to lean on others this month, or you will be learning how important it is to have people in your life. your pride may try to get the better of you but don't let it, try to let your guard down and understand that you can't & shouldn't bear everything on your own. if life has been tough then know that you have people/can find people who are there for you. be a lil needy this month

virgo sun: hm you seem to be feeling like you're in the waiting area of something, it's like you are open to life and things are moving in a different direction for you but for whatever reason you aren't able or you feel like you aren't able to arrive at the destination yet. try to avoid feeling inhibited, allow yourself to indulge, take things softly, let things flow as they may

libra sun: ah, there will be opportunities for you to demonstrate lessons learned, so you will be catching yourself in situations where you're like 'hm i've been here before...what can i do this time so that i don't repeat a lesson'. have the confidence and assurance in your capabilities to adjust and choose better for yourself

scorpio sun: your head is down...mindin’ your business...no showboating here because there is a focus on job & work. there are insecurities and a low energy that you're going to be experiencing. you're in the process and unlearning something that wasn't serving you and that is hard for a scorpio to grapple with. seek out clarity, be comfortable with the feeling of unknowing-ness, and expect a mildly bumpy april

sagittarius sun: surprise, surprise, a sag is gonna have some luck and have a 'win' or 2 this month. there is a situation that is going to rule in your favor somehow and by the end of the month you're going to feel free of something. this is a time to ~stand on business~ so stay assured in your standards and plans

capricorn sun: i see you're feelin' yourself, there is a sense of preparedness, you're like 'okay yeah i got this'. you may be taking the lead on something this month and it seems that your plans are able to pan out but try not to get too ahead of yourself. you will definitely be getting things done but there is a need to take a step back & see the whole picture - step by step. you do got this! just pace yourself

aquarius sun: weird month...it's like you have awareness this month for what it is you want in your life and what works for you but you're going to be such a child about it tbh, like a demanding diva. you need to pay closer attention because you may overlook something(s), there are issues/feelings that you need to work through, you are going to have some keen expectations that may set you up for disappointment, you need to not dramatize situations and make things bigger than they are

pisces sun: i cannot emphasize enough how much discomfort this month holds for you - but that is where growth lies. you are not going to be thrilled, you are going to be out of your comfort zone in a very not fun way, it's like getting thrown out of the house and having to grow up real fast. whatever is going to be happening, you're going to want to have a breakdown and be erratic and just go balls to the wall about it, or just straight up flee and run away from it all - but let's not do that no matter how tempting. let it be, healthily detach and leave it alone. it could the inverse though, like getting rowdy at a bar and subsequently getting kicked out. either way you need to take a chill pill

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 28th April ✨

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! I started two new shows this week and fell in love with both of them!! 

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E8.5) ohhhhhh I’m so emotional. The end of this series is going to make me cry so many happy tears, I can just feel it. 

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (149) With the description this week, I think I truly realised just how scary-looking the pig man is 😰 Things are looking decidedly down for Shelby and Clem. Eek. God, Valerie!!! She’s such an interesting character because you can literally connect the dots of her trauma but still be slightly disappointed by the consequences on her behaviour! And the poor Mr Greenstreets ☹️ Raj is very Syrensyr coded?? Vincent as a grief counsellor makes me wonder… about who or what Voltaire is…. 

Also, I want the Auditor to be Polly so bad and I want Nikignik to get out of the interrogation by bargaining to reunite him with Yaretzi and Mort - PLEASE. 

🧳 Travelling Light by @monstrousproductions (19) I loved seeing our Traveller stand up for themself!! It’s always so fun to see characters who are usually soft gain a backbone of steel because their core values are tested. And the discussion of the nanobots was so interesting!! The laws on nanobots elsewhere when they are literally required for survival makes the entire person illegal. And we all know that’s not right!!! 

👁️ @malevolentcast (41) I’m thinking that maybe Rafters was an exception that proves the rule… Alexander the owl was creepy as anything and I hated the way he seemed to be guiding them towards the crack in the wall. Now we’re in a possible parallel universe, it feels like all bets are off and I’m scared to even consider what might happen to John and Arthur now! 

⚔️ @camlannpod (8) OUGH. Oh my god. Can’t they just have FIVE MINUTES to RELAX?? I actually snorted out loud at: ‘you’re good with an axe, right’. Pere is a little shit and I love that for them. Morgan!!! 🫨 And Dai!!! I’m so hopeful that starting down this path will lead to good (or, at least, a whole load of shenanigans for S2!) 

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (13) It’s very interesting to me that we were able to listen in on Sam and Cecilia’s date… how did that work? There’s something here about gambling and chance with this story and the previous one about the dice rolling?? I’m connecting the dots (I’m not connecting shit). 

🌞 Small Victories by @wgc-productions is so good, I wish I’d started listening years ago. I love the 90s sitcom vibe and the intro/outro are so unique. I absolutely love shows that centre around character studies. Marisol’s story is so gripping and I love how the writing takes us right inside her brain as she justifies every decision (good or bad). It’s so clear how loveable she is and how much people around her want her to be okay (mostly), but don’t know *how* to get her to that place given the shit they’re dealing with themselves! I got up to 1.09 so . . . bit of a cliffhanger there!! I’m very excited to see how the story progresses. I’m rooting for you, Tiny!! 

🧋 I started @hinaypod and it’s safe to say that I’m in love already! Listening has given me the same amazing feeling of listening to Desperado - the sensation that the creators have opened up a door to a brand new world and I’m so happy to be in it! I adore Mari. Even from episode one, she has this quiet self-confidence in herself and her skills which is so refreshing. I also really like the horror writing here and I’m really looking forward to delving deeper into this story! 

Hope everyone has a good week! 💙

[makorays]

why do you come off as so intelligent?

autism, 130 IQ (not that IQ matters for very much), two incredibly hands-off parents that basically left me to raise myself and learn all the skills i needed on my own which trained me to be better at learning and thinking for myself, a series of trial-by-fire social excursions that forced me to overcome my autistic social ineptitude until i actually started to know more about social rules than a lot of neurotypicals...

i've also taken a fair amount of psychedelics that have opened my mind to ways of thinking i hadn't previously considered. they literally allow your neurons to connect to each other more thoroughly, they can actually give you heightened intelligence when used properly (both in the moment and afterwards as a result of the lessons you learn). my first ever psychedelic experience allowed me to see the world in a truly objective light for the first time in my life, stripped of all the programming instilled in me in my development, and i realized so many things as a result.

i also have a lot of confidence for various reasons; one of which is the knowledge i have, one of which was a necessary development in self-esteem in order to disallow bullies from making me feel worse about myself, one of which is a result of me going through so much shit that i came out the other side in that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" way.

i'm not trying to be too hubristic here but i figured i'd answer the question in as much detail as i could muster just in case anyone else is wondering why this random catboy seems so wise sometimes, or if anyone reads this and takes something away from it. i still have a lot to learn, but i am a very learning-minded individual, and every mistake i make is seen not as a horrible self-hating fuckup on my part but as an opportunity to learn and improve.

[noodyl-blasstal]

Spoblins - Day 5 taznc

It's day 5 of @taznovembercelebration and my prompt card was "Modern with Magic AU" - this one gets mildly horny so be warned.

You can read yesterday's prompt here.

--

Kravitz loved his job, working with Barry on the development was great and he always enjoyed the puzzle of putting a game together. His favourite bit though, the very best bit, was magic resistance testing days. Only because it was important to make sure his product was robust, obviously. It would be terrible, truly terrible, if anyone were able to use magic to cheat the system. It was pure coincidence that Taako was also exactly his type... and smart... and funny... and handsome… and flirty.

"Hail and well met, bones." Taako salutes as he enters the room. The nickname started after Taako realised Kravitz’s tag was ‘the reaper.’ "I hear you've got another game for Taako to break."

"This one has space goblins." Says Kravitz, pulling out the chair for Taako.

"Spoblins." They say in tandem as Taako plunks down into it, sideways, of course. The man was incapable of following any rules, even the sitting ones, it was probably why he got a job that involves breaking them.

"Taako's been rubbing off on you."

Kravitz wishes more than anything he would. "Uh huh." He can't trust himself to say anything else, not after <i>The Incident</i> last time. Thankfully Taako had laughed it off when Kravitz asked him out and immediately backtracked to pretend it was a <i>work date</i> he was asking Taako on, a normal and regular thing that people do.

Taako settles in further, clicks a few buttons and begins to watch the opening sequence. "Are you just gonna watch, handsome? Leave poor Taako to play with himself?" Taako pouts and turns his big beautiful eyes to Kravitz.

"I can play with you if you'd like… I mean... Shit... Er..." Taako was going to call HR, Kravitz was going to have to go to so many meetings about this and ‘he’s really hot, just look at him’ is absolutely not a credible defence.

"I'd love it if you would." Taako winks and nudges the controller his way. "It's always more fun with a skilled partner."

Kravitz's cheeks are aflame, he's burning, he's simmering in his skin, maybe he should take his shirt off? Then he’d be cooler. He isn’t wearing anything else underneath, but that could help? Maybe Taako would appreciate it? Instead of frantically stripping, bearing his chest and hoping Taako thinks he’s handsome, he nods his head. Taako smiles and Kravitz manages not to propose, he grabs the controller instead of Taako's hand and fiddles with the joystick. It hadn't always been this bad, he swears that the first few times he was normal, but then Taako started flirting and Kravitz started flirting back, and then he panicked about it. Now they were stuck in a weird stalemate where Kravitz tried not to be inappropriate, tried to keep things colleague focused. It was hard. It was <i>so</i> hard. Especially when Taako was looking at him like this. <i> Really looking</i>.

Taako smiled wide and hungry. “You can fiddle with my joystick too, if you’d like.”

Kravitz definitely shouldn’t reach out and place his finger on Taako’s joystick. He definitely shouldn’t make intense eye contact. He really shouldn’t make slow circles and ask, “like this?”

“That’s pretty good… but try this.” Taako covers Kravitz’s hand with his own, and he’s so warm, so soft. Taako’s finger rests on Kravitz’s, presses down, light and insistent.

Gods. He’s going to get fired so fast. “Taako…” Is all the protest he manages to get out.

“That’s my name, stud.” How was he so calm? How was he so confident?

“We should…” 

“We sure should. Cha’boy’s been coming onto your for months, I was starting to think you weren’t interested.”

“Work.” Kravitz croaks. Self control hanging by a swiftly fraying thread.

“Taako can multi-task.”

Taako simply cannot be proposing that they get nasty at work while he tries to break Kravitz’s videogame.

“We’ll get fired."

“Worth it.” Taako doesn’t look even the slightest bit phased.

“No one else is going to pay me to make space goblins.”

“Counterpoint, you could be goblin’ these nu…”

“No. No! Taako! You absolutely cannot finish that sentence.”

“I’d like to finish on…”

“No!” 

“No?”

“Not right now!” Kravitz pauses. “Later?”

“My place?”

“I’d like to take you to dinner first.”

“I’d like you to take me to dinner after.”

“Deal.” This can’t be real.

“Excellent. Let’s murder some spoblins, we’ve got big plans tonight.” Taako grabs his controller back and hits a few buttons, there’s a shower of sparks on the screen and the main character turns into a two horned unicorn. “You left that one in on purpose!” Taako accuses.

“I know how much you love Garyl, and who else is going to try it?” Kravitz repositions his own controller and tries not to focus on the dopey smile on Taako’s face. 

This can’t be over fast enough.

Find the next prompt here.

[official-brennivin]

Living with other Yucky Queers™ is healing me. This household full of transcendent transexuals and we all love problematic and cringe shit unapologetically? We are powerful and strong.

We have one housemate who grew up sheltered and I'm letting her borrow from my personal library of disturbing and freaky queer books and she's thriving. I showed her Pink Flamingos and we watched John Waters' one man show together.

Living in a truly and unapologetically queer found family means allowing each other to love our freakish and "gross" interests and revelling in it as a team.

I love the scruffy dog person transexuals I live with and I love scrolling rule 34 with them and discussing our grimy, kinky little headcanons for our blorbos together. And teaching each other about fun niche fetishes. And teaching my early-transition adopted little sister type thing how to wear her heels comfortably and helping her heal from her past and all of it comes together and it's something beautiful.

And we're all getting more confident, more motivated, more healthy and self-loving one step at a time. Together. That's what I've always needed in community.

Freaks are here to stay and we protect each other. I'm so damn proud to be a freak mentor to less experienced freaks who feel nervous and afraid. And every little step they take makes me feel like a proud older sister or even parent sometimes.

I was a 17 year old alcoholic once who received death threats and was called slurs by millennial queers for being too much of a freak. And I'm thrilled that I've become the elder queer that 19-25 year old freaks in my city feel safe asking for advice and guidance. I want them to have it better than I did. I want them to not have to learn self love the hard way. And I'm so, so grateful to these little freaklings that see me as worthy of protecting them. They give me something to live for.

[algolagniaa]

awake at 3 am and have moved on from thinking about my relationship to thinking about an old friendship

it was with a straight woman and she was a very confident and capable person who knew a lot about a lot and lived by her own rules and answered to no one but herself. and that’s how I’ve always wanted to be, and I think it is how I appear to people but really I am not like that at all. really I am very insecure and quite disgustingly submissive it’s just disguised by the fact that I’m extremely smart and extremely weird and don’t do much to hide either. but my friend was also smart and weird (not nearly as weird as I am admittedly) and she was a force of nature and I admired and envied her so for it. and our friendship always had a weird dynamic because of that. and I wanted to be her equal but I could tell she never really saw me as one. it came through in little comments she made, or how if I agreed with her on something she’d assume I got that opinion from her even though I had reached it on my own. like I learned from her bc as I said she was very knowledgeable but I listen to and learn from everyone, that doesn’t mean I let them think for me. but that’s beside the point I just still have some resentment about that I guess. but one time she said something about how she always gets along so well with lesbians but doesn’t know why and I was like it’s because you’re so capable and self reliant and don’t take any shit and lesbians appreciate those qualities. and she seemed almost??? offended by that???? and said some shit about how she prefers other people to do things for her and ACTUALLY the reason lesbians like her is because she doesn’t want to have sex with us which made no sense to me personally bc a lot of straight women don’t want to have sex with me and I’m definitely not friends with all of them

and I am lying in bed thinking about our friendship bc 8th house synastry will do that to you (every time I have extreme trouble letting go of someone we ALWAYS have 8th house synastry. I have INTENSE 8th house AND 12th house synastry with Oscar too. (side note I don’t usually spend much time looking at Jess’ chart for Reasons but I just checked and my Venus is in her 12th house 👀 a soulmate placement if ever I saw one)) and I just had this realization that she was jealous of me for the exact opposite reason I was jealous of her. bc she had so much of herself invested in this like divine feminine/divine masculine gender roles persona. she actually WANTS to be this bendy receptive reflective person who gets led around. she had this whole ideal of being this soft princessy submissive person who gets wooed and claimed but also has a strong inner core and is sovereign in herself and i just am all that without ever once trying to be (wait maybe this is what i was talking about in that one other weird 4am post i made and forgot about). astrologically speaking she is a very VERY solar person whereas in my chart the moon is stronger. and everything about me that I view as a weakness I have to compensate for is something she wants for herself but doesn’t embody as naturally as I do. she made comments alluding to this too, many of which I didn’t notice at the time bc I thought she was the coolest and obviously SHE had no reason to be insecure so I took her comments as proof there was something wrong with me/proof she was the coolest and had things figured out

and there are 2 things I can take away from this:

1) the signs were there and in retrospect obvious that she felt this way but I never noticed until this moment. it’s not the first time I’ve realized in retrospect that other people are jealous of me either. it is baffling to me but it may be possible that I have many things within me that are special and I should not deny that or try to bend myself into a different shape. even if I think my idea for a shape is better

and 2) straight people are truly wild. there are benefits to being the way that I am for sure. but being this way as a straight woman??? I could never

[vro0m]

How do you think George would fit into your “Lewis breaks his teammates” essay? Do you reckon he still has the same power or do you think it is more likely that it would be the opposite this time? I am asking because we have seen many times how the young guy wears out the older one (Vettel-Leclerc dynamic for comparison) but I cannot quite my finger on Lewis yet in this situation (not necessarily race performance but mentally)

Anon, you're kinda throwing me in a minefield!

It's extremely difficult to make predictions, so many things can happen. The short answer is : I don't know. The long answer is under the cut.

I'm biased as fuck, because I want Lewis to win his 8th, finish on a high, and be able to retire with at least some level of peace of mind but I tried to be fair.

I know you said 'not necessarily race performance but mentally', but these two things go hand in hand. They're both good, although at very different points of their career, and they're both hungry. That's basically what I said about them in the Lewis breaks his teammates essay. That and the fact that it had obvious potential for drama. Their results are weirdly on par, excluding the rare mishaps they've each had these two seasons. When you look at the graph of their respective results, the curves are so similar! And that's admittedly throwing me a bit because despite knowing George is a good driver, I honestly didn't expect him to be able to keep up with Lewis that well, especially from the get-go. I know some people claim it's proof Lewis is past his prime but I think that's bullshit and also a bit insulting for George, tbh.

Ultimately, I think if one of them has to come out on top, it's gonna be the one who manages to not get devoured by his own hunger.

George needs to learn what Lewis has learnt in his own time, what all young drivers need to learn when they get into cars that allow them to at least somewhat race : self-control. Don't rush, wait for the gap. Don't get too greedy, remember the big picture. Don't overdo it, know when to push and when to lift. Don't let it get to your head, think before you talk. Where he can struggle if it comes down to it, is making too many mistakes in a row and losing confidence, on or off track. Especially if they manage to fix the stupid car, and he finds himself sparring with Lewis on the regular for good positions, he's gonna need to be able to stay calm and stand his ground without getting into trouble because Lewis has been doing it for a while, and he's not gonna spare him. I know we like to paint him as very kind — and he might be, off track — but on track he's ruthless. He is a mostly clean racer nowadays, I truly believe so, but that's because he's received so many penalties over the years that he knows exactly where the limit of what's allowed, or can be argued as allowed, is and he will drive right on that edge without even having to think about it. George is gonna have to figure out the rules of this game on his own, like they all do. Lewis is not gonna teach George the ropes. He's not gonna give him the answers. He's not gonna foster him. He might help the team but he's not gonna help him. He's not a mentor. He's a racer. And while George is figuring himself out, Lewis is gonna race.

Lewis has a lot of shit to prove, again. People have been saying he's too old, people have been claiming he's about to retire, people have been saying nobody's ever won a race after their 300th start, people don't want Schumacher's record to be beaten and especially not by him, and let me not get into AD21. On top of that, the car is bad. However hard it is for George, it's still an upgrade for him. It's a definite downgrade for Lewis. He needs to be patient but he's running out of time. He needs to adjust his expectations but he's barely ever known anything but the top. He needs to be a leader for the whole team but George is becoming a threat. He needs to stay calm, composed, and confident but he's always been a paranoid control-freak with a justified chip on his shoulder. As much as George might trip over himself, I believe Lewis' weakness is Mercedes. Just like George's struggle is currently showing here and there in his racecraft, Lewis' struggle is currently showing here and there in his relationship to the team. He's struggled with having to rely on other people doing their thing for him to do his thing forever. As long as it worked it worked, but now it's not working. First of all he has to grapple with the reality that his teammate is not a throwaway anymore. But I believe (tentatively) that as long as it's a fair fight, he won't get destabilised on track. However, if he feels like they keep fucking up the strategy or that they're favouring or being too lenient with George... As soon as he gets it into his head that they don't have his back, it's over for him. It might become a real test of his maturing and growth.

As for how it's gonna end, time will tell.