#Tumblr continues to make it absolutely impossible to edit and post long posts

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 4 - Christmas Feelings. Episode 1.

Evan: *Over the next couple of days, it became harder and harder to deny I wanted to kiss him. I kept smiling goofily everytime I looked myself in the mirror. But at the same time, I had this stinging denial in the back of my head, trying its very best to cover up the butterflies in my stomach. I was afraid. I had so many questions racing my worried mind. Why was I longing for kisses from my best friend, a man? Why did I ask him to kiss me? Did this mean I was in love with him? Did this mean I was gay? Or at least bisexual? Was I gonna discover just like Andy did, that I had had a whole other sexuality all along, but had just been fooling myself? Or was this all just lusting? A craving to be touched by someone? Anyone… Furthermore a few other questions started poking my brain. Was he in love with me, and if so for how long? Or was this just Andy as always wanting to stick his dick into anything? Yes, I know that makes him sound bad, and most of hs one night stands might agree he is bad. But truth to be told, he isnt. At all. He is always fair and honest when it comes to sex, never leading anyone to belive they will get more than sex. He has just… been around a lot. But then again, he used to be the lead singer of a platinum selling band, the same band I was in.. well and Daniel too for that matter, including a 4th member Thomas, whom we havent been introduced to yet. Point is, when you are famous and travel a lot, offers tends to happen, a lot. Andy just took what was offered. As we got closer and closer to Christmas eve, things got more and more tense between us, specially when we were alone. The few times that is, cause I tried my best to only be "alone" with him when people were just in the next room. My security of nothing more happening between us, I guess, at least not more than the occasionaly kisses we shared. He would suddenly grab me from behind a closet, yank me into a shadow and kiss me passionately for a brief moment, then let me go before anyone could find us. Or once in a while he would simply plant a small butterfly kiss on my shoulder or one of my hands…. wrists… maybe even my cheek. I think it was his way of letting me know he was still there… available for me. He wanted me, no doubt about it. But I couldnt figure out in which way that was. And I wasnt going to be just another conquest for him. Just another nodge in his bed post so to speak. I wasnt available for a one night stand, specially not with my best friend. I wasnt going to ruin almost 15 years of relationship purely because of sexual needs. On the 23rd he dragged me aside and asked me to go for a walk with him. Alone. My heart was pounding so fast I thought it was going to explode, but I knew it was now or never. I had to tell him once and for all I wasnt up for any fling with him. There wasnt gonna be any one night stand. I think we had walked for about 15 minutes before he fnally stopped between some trees, turned to me and placed his hands on my cheeks. As we have the same height, we stood eyes to eyes, close, I could once again feel his hot breath as he spoke in a lowered soft voice.

[isa-ghost]

do you have hc's about how the Polycule would save q!Phil from EK's possession?? Would they work on their own or work together?? these hc's are so good btw!!

I didn't at first but now that I sat down and thought about it, I have exploded. Enjoy.

Edit: This exploded so hard I'm now planning a 5+ chapter fic about it. So everyone stay tuned I guess. If you see me post an ao3 link sometime in the next week or two, you'll know what it is. I might also post the chapters as Tumblr posts for easier access for anyone who doesn't have ao3.

Previous qPhil headcanons

Ender King possessed Phil headcanons

Since you specified polycule, these will be Missa/Fit/Etoiles centric. However, the fic I'm writing will have guest appearances from Chayanne, Tallulah, Pac, and potentially some others. We'll see where it goes.

It seems impossible at first. He's. So. Strong. So merciless. So overwhelming. They know Phil would never forgive himself if it was his hands that hurt any of them. They can't afford to get close. They can't afford to be poisoned by the clouds of dragon's breath. They can't afford to be struck by his scythe or sword. They can't afford to be sniped by those eagle eyes. Phil would never forgive himself, and he's already so hard on himself.

They don't know what to do, they don't know what they CAN do. They have no choice but to back off, and let EK escape with Phil's body off to wherever the hell it is he'll hide out while he readjusts to having a physical form again and continues to further wrestle Phil into submission. Missa's absolutely inconsolable over it, Fit & Etoiles have to restrain him while EK dips for the sake of making sure Missa doesn't get himself killed. Fit is LIVID. Etoiles is equally pissed, but it comes out more as distress rather than rage.

Missa is overwhelmed by the idea of caring for Chayanne & Tallulah alone. Chayanne comes in clutch, he somehow snagged the stock of cookies from Phil's bag before EK took full control of him. Fit offers to look after them too, he just can't feed them. Ramon is already pulling out all the stops in an effort to comfort the two & is more than willing to let them sleep in his house. They all know Phil will be mortified that the two witnessed any of what happened.

Phil is missing for at least a week, maybe more. No one knows what EK is doing with his body. Their only solace is that Cucurucho & presumably the higher ranking feds are strong enough to prevent him from leaving the island. At least they know he's findable.

That doesn't make it easier. Knowing he's out there somewhere, trapped in his own mind, living his greatest fear every second they aren't helping him claw his way back into control of himself, potentially hurting people he cares about or doing things he'd never do with his own hands. It's unbearable.

Whenever it is that they finally find Phil, he's a shell. Thinner, paler, as gaunt as a corpse. Eyes purple and cruel, dark circles under them. Features sharper, somewhere between skeletal and draconic. Patches of his skin have blackened like char, some spots have cracked and look like they're bleeding purple. He looks like he's slowly becoming corrupted by crying obsidian. His wings are raised at all times, threatening. But they shake, unmistakably and visibly so. It's clear they're in so much pain, under so much strain. Has the Ender King been flying with Phil's damaged wings? Missa, Fit and Etoiles feel like they're staring at a ghost of their long-dead friend.

Phil's body is weak but the Ender King isn't. The fight, while more feasible now, is still hellish to pull off. It takes more gapples, potions, rezzing each other, and enough sets of armor broken for Etoiles to lament for a month, but eventually, after near-constant bombardment from three people (& a little "help" from a handful of mobs as things go on into the night. Which EK gets stronger during btw), the trio finally downs Ender King. Fit and Etoiles keep him pinned on his stomach while Missa desperately shoves potions and gapples down his throat like you would to cure a zombie villager. They have no idea if that's actually helping let alone doing anything at all. But how the fuck do you exorcise an evil deity from a mortal body?? They're grasping at straws.

Somehow, after trying every last thing that comes to mind (which is. A lot of desperate half-baked ideas bc they're pretty sure they're on a time limit & this is not the time to be elaborately plotting a solution), it turns out that soaking Phil in water like a drowned rat & forcing him to drink more water than any crow could dream of via hydrochecks is enough to overwhelm Ender King into giving up control of Phil's body.

During their scrambling for solutions, Etoiles very smoothly quips about how if only they had "Potion of Purge Ender King" btw, it gets a laugh out of Fit. And Missa, even through his hysterical crying because he is So Scared And Guilty about potentially hurting Phil right now. They needed the palette cleanser while doing something so grim and stressful.

Phil goes limp like a noodle as soon as EK gives him up. Missa fully panics thinking his husband just fucking died in all their arms until Reaper Brain kicks in and he realizes Phil's soul is still working, it's just extremely weak. Another witty remark from Etoiles about getting his shit together re-centers his focus.

Surprise! Phil's not unconscious though, just Extremely weak. And Ender King still isn't going down without a fight. Water hurts like a bitch but it isn't deadly. Not unless they risk drowning Phil. But now EK has been weakened enough that Phil starts to fight for control of himself for the first time in ages. It gets ugly.

Fit, arguably the physically strongest of them all, holds Phil hostage by the underarms while Missa and Etoiles keep desperately trying everything they can think of to keep making Phil purge EK from his system like an illness. Whatever is coming up is a disgusting viscous purple. Phil won't stop screaming. They can tell it's simultaneously Phil's pain and Ender King's rage.

And god is the process a long, torturous ordeal for everyone involved. Phil is very palpably in agony, Missa is a wreck, all 3 of them feel horribly guilty they're subjecting him to so much but it Has to be done. Fit's seen so much after living in the 2b2t Wastelands and even he's finding it hard to watch this.

By the end of it all, blood, sweat, tears, and vomit have been shed, and not just by Phil, in an effort to bring him back to his senses. They're all miserable, exhausted, and overwhelmed. They're not even entirely sure that EK has been "exorcised" completely, nor do they know how the Fuck to confirm that. And purging EK from Phil's body isn't where this stops either, but none of them can even think about what the recovery from this will be like.

Getting this far is only possible because they put all their strength together. No one would have stood a chance against the Ender King alone. Despite barely being conscious and looking convincingly half-dead, Phil is terrified he's hurt or killed someone he cares about as it is. Honestly, Missa, Fit & Etoiles are shocked it seemingly only took 3 people to take on an apparent god. This very much doesn't feel legit, Etoiles doesn't feel right saying gf yet. It feels like the fight isn't over.

[the-travelling-witch]

Okay so I started writing, HOW DO YOU WRITE?!

I am trying to think of things to write but it is literally impossible to think of things to say. I know what I wanna write, but when it comes to typing it I'm completely lost

ah yes, the eternal question which strikes both reverence and absolute terror in creators far and wide

“where do i begin?”

[everything below this cut was written in a sarcastic 2am frenzy, read at your own risk]

i guess it depends on what you already have: is it a character, a setting, a plot or a dialogue prompt; sometimes you might only have ✨a vibe✨ but none of the formerly mentioned, which is, to put it lightly, the absolute worst in that case i pray upon thee good luck my friend

i mostly start off with a line of dialogue because that’s just what usually comes to me first, everyone’s a little different in that regard though and there’s absolutely no right or wrong answer to what motivates you

from what i have i try to fill in the rest of my blanks, mainly “who could say that?” and “in what context could this line be said?”, often enough i can imagine a scenery and a rough story line around that already; if not, it’s though luck and i procrastinate until the missing puzzle piece just comes to me, forcing it wouldn’t help anyway

it can also really help to bounce your ideas off of someone else; even if they don’t contribute anything new or helpful at all, voicing and describing your thoughts to someone else can help visualise what you’re working with and often enough inspiration strikes you in the process; also every now and then, others do have a sensible thought too jsjsh /lh (to everyone who’s ever had to listen to me ramble about me fics, you’re a god-sent, i love you, mwah mwah <3)

that’s when i usually sit down and prepare to meet my arch nemesis: the first sentence

my tip: just rip the band-aid off; you have to start somewhere and contemplating the first five words for hours on end does absolutely nothing but hold you back and you can come back and edit it later anyway (i almost never actually do that bc spoiler alert: the first sentence won’t make or break your fic; a “bad” first sentence won’t make it unreadable but a neat one also can’t save what is unsavable)

then i proceed to word vomit onto the page, have a couple mental breakdowns every now and then, finish about 95% and procrastinate the ending again (same tip as before: just get it over with, not writing it is not finishing your fic either; also, believe it or not, the end is changeable as well)

i continue by promising myself i will go over and rewrite the abomination again, then i throw it at my best friend so she can tell me that a) i’m in fact not delusional and people won’t think i’m completely weird for writing that and b) yes, i have in fact used the language known to most as “english”; although, deep down, i know i mainly do it so i can further procrastinate actually posting my fic and opening myself to potential criticism from people i do not know

if i’m feeling particularly motivated, i might actually start formatting my tumblr post, putting in the tags and writing the head of the fic (summary, pairing, warnings, author’s note etc)

i receive feedback from my friend, reread my fic a bajillion times just to miss a bunch of typos and grammatical errors, proceed to break my promise and not change my fic at all, paste it into tumblr, and hover over the post button for a disgustingly long time

once i’ve actually decided to press the damn thing, i immediately close tumblr and bring a safe distance between me and the app

now all that’s left to do is wait for validation from strangers on the internet in form of tags, comments or asks

those were a lot of very sarcastic words to basically say that you should just get started and not worry about it too much; every fic is different and sometimes the words seemingly don’t stop flowing and other times it feels like you’ve never seen a word before in your life; you can also flip-flop between these two stages within the same fic

at the end of the day, we write because we like torturing ourselves visualising our ideas on a page so we can share them with others; art is hard so this is the next best medium to share the headcanons and the brain worms and the rants and the incoherentscreaming the voice in your head does when you see your favourite character

we’re no professionals, we’re just silly little people on our silly little blogs sharing our silly little stories with other silly little people on their silly little blogs who in turn share their silly little stories with us

this is my guide to how i write 90% of my stories; why only 90% you ask? because every now and then a monster comes by, takes up all your brain space, ends up being 11k+ words and you just know you would’ve gone absolutely mental writing it without some form of planning before hand

if you don’t write anything like that, the dumpster fire above might help (mainly the beginning because it just got weirder and weirder with every added paragraph)

to close this off, i’ll leave you with some wise words

roses are red,

violets are blue,

don’t ask me for advice,

i ain’t got a clue

this is your sign to never let me write a writing guide, ever

[lesbianelsas]

So I tried Better Things 2 years ago, but the weird racism with the grandma and Lenny Kravitz’s character and the weirdness about poc in general was like. A lot. So I didn’t continue but your posts made me want to give it another try and I love Pamela Aldons voice sm lol. I’m on s3 and I’m really loving it. Shows about ‘nothing’ especially from women’s pov are so underrated. I’m a huge fan of just talking, just because and I love that so many episodes are just ‘ok we’re gonna talk in the car/bedroom/living room/beach now’ like hell yeah! Sam is my fave though like I get that her kids are Like That on purpose(also being a teenage girl is rough ik)and it’s all a bit extra for tv but they grate on my nerves; I am hoping for a little chills as they grow up. Anyway this show is so witty and clever and well acted(like actual acting not like over/under emoting CW shit yk) so thanks for pushing me to try it again :)

EDIT: I started writing this reply earlier and then I found myself growing more lyrical (just like the show!) every time I came back to it lol. I didn’t wanna bother with being concise because on tumblr We Are Free, so I’m sorry this got so long and that I made you wait that long too, lol! I was very happy to receive your message and I’m super pleased that you rediscovered the show and my 5 note gifsets! :)

EDIT 2: There might be slight “spoilers” in this, but then again it’s hardly a show that can be spoiled or relies on surprising twists. But I wanted to cover my bases regardless :p

But gosh you are right about the grandma racism etc - I have to admit I completely forgot about it before now, but your message vaguely makes me remember a plot like that indeed. That said, I still have absolutely zero recollection of Lenny Kravitz being ever on the show omg - my mind is a void! I suppose it has been 5 years, omg, time flies.

I looked up the description of the episodes to remember it further, and I assume you mean this specific episode?

Lol, I gotta say, it doesn't surprise me that that particular episode was one that was written by Louis CK, back when he was still involved. Of course that doesn't absolve the show or Pamela Adlon from any potential criticism about the way people of color are written or engaged with, especially further on, but, you know. He is a fucking weirdo. And I'm glad the series continued solely under her vision & supervision. Adlon has briefly talked about how massive the change has been, particularly from s2 to s3. I haven't quite watched the show with too much of a critical eye though, and of course my own whiteness hardly makes me the best judge. All that to say, I hope I haven't uncritically forgotten about any other weirdness!

But yeah I do love the show, and I love Adlon's voice. Better Things has such a kind approach when it comes to the ebb and flow of life and the infinite complexity of human beings. Maybe the good faith that inspires also influenced me to regard the show with that same good faith. Because when you watch it, you come away with this appreciation for life; life has good and bad, and life goes on, and life is funny. Part of that is due to how observational it is, I think. The pov is very grounded in Sam as a character, but her overall attitude is very laissez-faire, non-controlling. Going either "eh?" or "heh" as a coping mechanism for life's ups and downs. Sometimes wry, but in a caring way, never melodramatic, but also never cynical or dismissive. I've heard other people say that it contributes to making the show feel distinctly Jewish too, in tone - smarter people than me (more Jewish people than me :p) will be able to elaborate on that.

A while back, I described it as a cinematic gaze that is insistingly non-judgmental and patient. I think that also results in success when it comes to balancing the teenage kids' tantrums and their continuous growth. The kids get to be impossibly and painfully rude to their mom, like you said - but I felt that was more resonant than grating, precisely because the show portrays their lives in such a holistic way. What I mean is: there is a lot of love (or at least humanity) stored in seemingly random, but pointedly chosen uneventful moments, and that acts like a buffer for anything painful that happens, in a way. (Though, about the kids being rude - look forward to a show-stopping scene in season 5 that is gonna be incredibly satisfying.) There is a sort of love and connection that is formed just by being part of each other’s lives, right, even if a lot of what’s on the surface is conflict & miscommunication & strife. One might say that is a cynical view on family, but I also think it’s an inevitably loving one. So yeah, sometimes those kids behave like monsters and 3 minutes later they're hugging their mom and asking what's for dinner and there's just never any time to really have a resolution for any of it, because then the next day begins and people have to go to school or hang out with friends or go to work. “Life is what happens to you when you’re too busy to make any other plans". In that same regard, there is a bemused tranquility to the way agitation & frantic moments in the show just... fizzle out. Not because it’s unimportant, but because it is just part of the jazzy rhythm of daily life. Trading fondly between jarring imperfections and notes of harmony. And that approach genuinely neutralizes the pressure or shame that often feels like a constant companion when you're in the middle of life. There’s sometimes a lot of insight & connection buried under those attention-stealing emotions, and space for magical realism in the beyond. It all makes me look back on my own life, and think about my mom, and her mom, in a very soothed accepting way.

I feel like and "I want to elevate the mundane" are guiding lines for that directing & writing style. The scenes we see are almost always the hearty middles or in-betweens of a usual narrative, without introductions or feeling the need to explain what's going on, without wanting to put anything in a comprehensible arc. Life happens when you're in the middle of making chicken stock, too. But more on that later.

A lot of things happen, but the show resists the idea to assign /meaning/ to it, one way or another. Frankie can choose a dress at some point and a tux at another point and have sex with a boy at one point and flirt with a girl at another point and we won't be able to predict where that takes the character - it could mean anything or nothing but it matters all the same, it has value all the same - we'll just have to see what happens, and Sam lets it happen. Just like real life doesn’t have a "narrative" that retroactively makes a carefully curated series of experiences feel significant one way or the other. Some experiences will be evidence for a crucial revelation or decision later in life, and others were just dust in the wind - yet just as much part of life, and what makes a person whole, and a life rich. It’s not dead weight, it’s all alive, and that translates to how organic character “arcs” on the show feel. They make sense retroactively, but it rarely feels like it’s build up in a forward thinking way, which is unlike the way storytelling usually feels (for the record, that has its value and appeal too). It's just genius how this show has been able to capture that.

As for the acting & directing, it's incredible right? A friend of mine asked me a while back whether it was all improvised, because it felt so authentic and natural. And then I found this beautiful interview answer by Adlon:

DEADLINE: People saw so much of you in Sam Fox — and not just because you co-created the show, but from the parallels to your own career, your own family and more. But this was no reality show, it was tightly scripted …

ADLON: It is carefully scripted and down to the last detail, and everything is decided beforehand. But the thing that happens is, on the day, I will be in the restaurant or something shooting the scene, right, and I’ll look at the waiter. And I’ll be like, “Where are you from originally?” And he’ll be like, “Turkey.” And I’m like, “Did your mother ever sing you a lullaby when you were a little boy?” He says yes, and I say, “What was it?” and then he sings it for me. And then all of a sudden, I’ve upgraded this guy. My line producers are scratching their head, and we’ve just enhanced the scene. It’s a very fluid, organic, moving thing. It’s got a pulse. (via)

And yeah, while the variety of media is improving a lot, you still don't often see stories from the pov of menopause-age women (creatively & as the star) who also get to, you know, talk about menopause. Go /through/ it, “start” to “finish”, without it being an arc. Just, part of life. Casually, in between cooking, and driving around, and work, and children, and awkward moments, and connecting with friends, and life. Speaking of cooking, I liked this reflection on the importance of cooking in the show: 

“Whether she’s making borscht or chicken or a margarita, Sam’s attention to process and detail is sharp. She prepares sustenance and libations as an act of love, a form of comfort, a way to bring people together, an attention to self. And no matter what she’s making or who she’s making it for, the show lets us watch. What would seem unimportant on most shows becomes the focus. Her labor, her time, as a mom, as a person, is valued by her camera. It’s a cooking show where we’re all the winner because we get to witness something so simple and so human. [...] Sam’s relationship to food and to her children holds the same care, the same attention to detail, the same love of life, that she brings to all her interactions. It’s a sardonic tenderness. A feeling that this person is plenty aware of the fucked up-ness of the world and has decided to lead with pleasure and kindness anyway.” (via)

And like, you are right, that there's something about appreciating the "slice of life" of not just young people, or men. There is an intense humanizing power in the pov chosen for that, in the agency and interiority that comes with that. And while a lot of people would fairly argue that white women's pov is hardly underrepresented on tv these days, there is still a lot of taboo surrounding the concept of women... aging. And therefore imo there is a severe need to humanize that, but not in a pitying way, but in a way that exudes vitality, instead.

I'm reminded of this thread, a story told by actress Claudia Black, about how actor James McAvoy unexpectedly made her feel seen & appreciated, in her craft. She talked about how life can get awfully small for single moms - about feeling invisible, as a woman nearing 50. And it's interesting, because she said that while the "minutiae of life" can be adorable and parenthood fulfilling in its own way, the key point of her thread was that she also really struggled with... waning ambition & dreams & pride, as a consequence of aging, and perhaps the priorities demanded by motherhood - her life becoming "small". And that is often a distinctly female experience! Because we live in a society, lol, and work is still considered a male responsibility, while domesticity a female responsibility. I don't mean to romanticize work to contrast my point (because that can also be deafening and suffocating), but there is a specific... sacrificial smallness to domesticity that can make some women feel like their footprint in life /narrows/ gradually as life goes on, like their /value/ pales as they age. Or society treats them that way, even when they don’t think of it that way.

And it's interesting to think about how "Better Things" as a show... somehow... combined those two things. On the one hand, it is a show that embraces the ebb and flow of life, meandering mundanity, the beauty of the little things, from the pov of a near-50 woman. Smallness can feel very big when you highlight serendipitous moments of human connection. Not to mention, the show’s final season focuses a little bit on how empty-nest-syndrome might affect Sam, as her children grow into tiny adults - and that feels like it speaks specifically to the issue I mentioned above. That a lot of mothers’ lives inevitably become about their children and that a lot of these women are suddenly confronted with parenthood has impacted their existential footprint. The choice to end the show on Sam’s solo happiness, as her “village” sings in the background, is therefore really powerful, I think. On the other hand, the show is also a showcase of CRAFT, craft of storytelling, craft of directing, /by/ a woman of 50. Pamela Adlon created all this, turned her voice and life into art. So there is this dual layer of appreciation and admiration. It's like the summum of body of life and her body of work - for now. And the rest is a meteor shower.

TLDR;

"Meandering but structurally complex in deceptive ways; deeply tied to the singular point of view of its star and creator; willing to unflinchingly center aging women, invisibilities literal and figurative. Will there ever be another show so unburdened by plot and premise as Better Things?[...] Adlon’s writing and direction—she’s directed every episode since the second season of the show—are, as much as anything, an act of curation. Each character, each plot point, each set piece, each LA space are like beloved objects strewn about Sam’s home, and as the show accumulates them, they belong to us viewers as well. To shriek in delight when a bit character from seasons earlier walks through the frame, to audibly gasp when a statue at the top of Sam’s staircase breaks—to watch Better Things is to live with these people. The show has a hoarder’s sense of narrative value. Nothing is unimportant, everything matters." (via)

Lol, I think this answer must contain the word “life” like 500 times. If you made it this far, thank you, and thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble mwhahhahahaha. One of my fave shows of all timeeeeeee

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it. 

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now. 

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys. 

@sanssssastark  your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?! 

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Free Me (Series)

Characters: Chris Evans x Reader, Henry Cavill x Reader

Prompt: 1. "I never want to hear your name during my life anymore." 2. "Your lips used to be my sanctuary, but now I feel trapped." 3. "Isn't it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy?"

Summary: Y/N has been noticing how her husband was slowly slipping away, guessing that another woman was illegally involved and included in the marriage she was in. Deciding that what was best for the both of them is to finally let go.

Warnings: Cheating, some cuss words, No smut so you're good to go. 😉, ANGST. (Y/H/T means your hometown! 😊)

Words: 2,430

A/N: PLEASE DON’T FORGET TO COMMENT AND REBLOG! Thank you, Tater tots! This has a sequel! Just go find it in my masterlist blog located in my blog description. Heehee!

Disclaimer: PNG's used in edits are not mine even the GIF's too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi.

MY WORKS ARE NOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots 

The night sky was more wistful than you thought it would be. Stars were trying to partake in what you were feeling as it wasn't actively twinkling like it used to. That was always your problem, you get caught in the fantasy that you've been dying to live in. Imagining a perfect story without flaws and rabbit holes, with a prince who will stay by your side forever. Dreaming that something lasts forever. That even your love would last forever.

Yet, it didn't.

The clock striked twelve. It was time for Cinderella to come home before it was too late. There she went and ran, leaving a glass slipper behind for her prince to find and return.

The door knob rattled, you began to feel tense, sensing your heart beat in anxiety. Your emotions spinning round and round, only getting to feel two heightened emotions: pain and anger.

You heard the door creak, footsteps can be heard. Hearing the soft taps of his rubber shoes against the tiled floor. It would only take him ten steps before reaching the leaving room where you were sluggishly sitting cross legged.

In 5..4...3...2...........1. Cinderella was finally home at last.

You uncrossed your legs, sipping on your Absinthe, the harsh liquid leaving a fiery trail on your throat, now feeling his presence close as you glared at the man before you. Alas, there he was, standing tall, looking ragged and slovenly. Behold, the man that you once dreamt of and thought who would never break your heart.

Chris gave a smile, but it wasn't as bright as you remembered. He changed, his smile changed, everything changed. Even his heart did.

The glint in your eyes was full of spite, once he began walking towards you. He was going to give you a kiss. A fake kiss that you wanted to spit out, as you began over thinking how he shared saliva with the woman he was just with.

He held a hand on your chin, gently lifting it up as he entirely crouched down, nonchalantly giving you a kiss. A kiss without the love you once had. A kiss that you imagined to be loving and zealous. A kiss that would make you heart jump in utter affection and passion, a kiss that would make your legs weak, but it didn't. It was never the same way as it used to before, and it broke your heart and soul.

"Your lips used to be my sanctuary, but now I feel trapped." Those were the first words that came out of your mouth, his lips left yours with a faded sound. You began to feel your heart beat quicken in rage, feeling the alcohol start to kick in. Giving you the strength to finally burst out your feelings and hidden thoughts.

"That sounded like a line in one of my movies. Where'd you get that, Babe?" He quietly sat beside you, giving you a nervous chuckle before taking your hands in his which you quickly rejected with one hostile push of your hand.

You stood up, the transparent, fragile glass in your hands. Your emotions were starting to bubble up and it was beginning to burst into tears. You love him. You gave him your heart. You gave him everything. Yet, he chose to throw it away. You trusted him. You trusted him to fully give his heart to you. However, you didn't realize Mr. Cinderella left his shoe on his way home, and you didn't know..It wasn't just any shoe. It was already his heart. His heart that was once yours, but was now in the hands of another woman. A woman that was the complete opposite of you. A woman who was sexier, and hotter. A woman he probably ever dreamt of.

A woman who isn't you.

"Isn't it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy, Chris?" You aggravatingly spoke, biting your lower lip hard in anger. The pain was finally poisoning you alive, and it was time that it did.

"W-What? What are you saying?--" He stood up, daring to even walk close, his face looking so confused, a face that you wanted to slap a million times. His face that could lure you into believing him again with just one snap of his sad puppy eyes, and his beautiful lips that continued speaking words that were full of lies. "--You got to stop, Love. You're already drunk, I know you get emotional when you're drunk--"

"Do you really know me, Chris? Do you? Well, Mr. I-know-everything-about-my-wife..What does my face say right now?"

His baby blue eyes stared downright at you, deeply staring, his eyes turning scared and afraid. "It's the face that I never want to forget. The face that was once full of happiness but is now filled with sadness. A face that--" You cut him off, your eyes turning cloudy as you got the unknown watch from your pockets, your fingers trembling in absolute fury as you harshly pushed the watch on his muscly chest, hard enough to tell that you weren't in your usual state. Hard enough to show him that the woman in front of him wasn't the same anymore. "--A face that isn't hers. A face that isn't the woman you've been secretly dating, flirting and fucking with. This face I have right now? Isn't the face you ever want to see from me!" He grabbed the watch that you furiously pushed, examining it with utmost curiosity before his face fell, like his world fell apart. Pathetic. "That watch. It isn't mine, Chris. It's under our fuckin' bed. We don't have a daughter in this home for God's sake! where would that watch even come from?!" You began shouting hysterically, finally caught up in your inexplainable rage.

You thought you were the princess in your own fairy tale. Turns out you were the knight in shining armor who kept on fighting and protecting the pure love you both had. The love that was now ruined forever because of one unforgivable sin. His infidelity.

"Th-that was my sister's! You know how she loves her watches! I was about to give this back to her but--"

You heavily dropped the glass on your coffee table. Loud enough to startle his dog named 'Dodger' that was currently barking nonstop, however that didn't stop you. "I'M DONE WITH YOUR FUCKIN' LIES, EVANS!" You loudly screamed, glaring up at him with the most wrathful look you could ever give to anyone. Your tears threatening to fall, and one by one it did. They were traitors, just like the man in front of you. He was a traitor of your heart.

"I-I called your sister when I was back in (Y/H/T). That watch isn't the only evidence I have, You weren't being too discreet when you uploaded that fuckin' video of dodger singing because I damn sure heard your ex's voice laughing in the background, you fucking invited her in our damn house!" You sneered, your words coming out like venom. His broad, thewy shoulder fell in surrender. He finally lost because he was caught. The traitor was finally caught red handed.

"You've changed. We've changed. The sweetness turned into coldness, everything's starting to feel fake now.." You frankly said and paused, sniffing loudly. "Wh-what happened to us, Chris? What did I do wrong? Is it me? It has always been me, I know." You mumbled to yourself, tears falling like rain on the newly waxed floor.

Chris began pulling on the strands of his black hair in frustration. Never looking at you in the eye, hesitating to speak or not, "I-I loved you, I still do, (Y/N). I do, I loved you,"  He trailed off, seeming to be in a baffled state, his eyes shamefully having the courage to stare straight back at you. There, you saw him shedding tears, his blue eyes turning reddish from the cries.

"Loved? Funny how one letter can create a whole new meaning to the word," You gave a broken laugh, saying it with bitterness and with a broken heart. "L-Let's fix this, Babe. W-we can fix this.." Chris walked towards you, grabbing your face with his cold, large, calloused hands. His face turning paler as fear washed away the love it once had. He was scared, probably scared to be left alone and abandoned by the wife that promised to be with him by hook or by crook. You were starting to disappear in his life, slowly staring to fade away, you were ready to let him go and that made him scared for the life he decided to create. A life without you, a life without his wife that he shared vows with.

You angrily slapped his hands away, feeling grossed out because you imagined those hands had obviously just been held by his bitch. "We can't fix something that has already been broken. You broke my trust, and most importantly my heart, Christopher!"

He took a few long, fast strides before wrapping you in a desperate tight hug. One tight hug that wasn't impossible for you to breath in, you could sense his body shake from weeping. You could sense the fear that was wrapped inside of him, the fear of loosing you once and for all. "We-we can fix this..I-I can fix you again..W-we can make this work--"

"Don't try and fix me when all you need is to fix yourself!" You seethed, breath starting to come out deeper and more harsh. "I am not the man who cheated here! I wasn't the person who destroyed this marriage! It's all on you! You committed adultery! You remained unfaithful, yet you want to try and fix this?! What makes you think you would never try and do it again?!"

"Because I would never!! I'm never gonna do it again! I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry! Please!" Chris's cold hands caught your wrists, his hot tears falling from his eyes. He began to violently use your feeble hands to hit him. But, you could never. You just can't physically hurt the man that you used to love. "--Just hit me, slap me, kick me, I fucking deserve it, Babe! I deserve--"

"You deserve to fucking feel the pain I felt! You fucking deserve to feel the regret once I leave you for good!"

Chris fell hard on his knees, weeping so hard, hopelessly wrapping his muscly arms around your weak legs. He began begging when he knew you were ready to jump out of the house without any second thought. Appearing to find that begging can be the only way he could have you back. "N-NO! Please! Please, no! Don't leave me! I can make her leave! I'll leave her, (Y/N)! Just, p-please! Don't leave me! I beg you...I beg you...."

You forcefully untangled his arms that was wrapped around your body, but he was trying not to let you go, no matter how easy it is to leave..It was difficult especially having a heart that never wanted to lose hope in this marriage you were in. "Ch-Chris," You choked up in your own tears, hearing him plead in despair made you not want to leave. Nonetheless, your decision was final.

"It's time for you to let me go, Love. It's time for me to go,"

"N-No...I'm never letting you g-go, (Y/N)...N-Never." He cried, and you could hear him whimper. His arms deliberately loosened. How you did it was a complete miracle. But, now..now you were finally free.

"You began to let me go from the moment you secretly dated her behind my back," You stood in front of him, head held high with fresh tears falling from your eyes. Never planning on leaning down to give him his one last kiss because he didn't deserve it after all.

"I never want to hear your name during my life anymore." You whispered to him, "W-we could've been happy, if you just realized my love could fulfill you,"

"--but you didn't realize that, so you decided to become greedy and chose to find a different kind of love from someone else,"

You spun on your heels, turning your back away from him, you heard him cry more. It was louder this time, The realization began to hit him so hard, like a brick thrown on a wall, finally regretting every stupid decision he made. You turned your back away from the future that you thought you would have. A future with Chris. Things have turned the other way around as Chris was now a part of your past, he was once your future, nevertheless because of one sin, everything turned upside down. Turning everything worse for him, but becoming better for you.

The knight was finally free from the armor she was wearing, now she was a vulnerable knight without a job and her armor to protect the love that she thought was still there. A love that wasn't real and true.

You were finally free.

Now, Mr. Cinderella could finally marry the princess he deserved and wished for.

A princess that will never be you.

Follow moi blog and turn on the notification button every time I post updates, Tater tots! If you wanna be included in my taglists, just hit me up with an ask or DM! Or if ya’ wanna be friends, just hit me up! Heehee! 

[lesmismignon]

replying to anon messages

In this post I shall reply to the messages that have been sitting in my inbox for a regrettably long period of time. (It is loooooong. Please click “keep reading” at your own risk.)

I’m not a very good correspondent. I’m very sorry. I never know what to say right off the bat, and then during 2019 and 2020 when I was mostly on hiatus, I would just post a chapter or two and poof back out, and on Tumblr I would browse a few things and then poof back out. I do not have a good track record with social media and online presence in general. And with real life problems (mostly due to work), at worst it was impossible to muster even the strength to write. It was maddening.

But there is something about Hellsing and its fandom that reels me back in even when I am far away. Excuse me if this sounds cheesy, but for me fandoms are like the orbit of a comet. If it is something that you loved, and will continue to love even when you are not “active” on it, you will come back to it, someday, somehow. I’ll always be grateful to Hellsing, for being an inspiration to write, for being a bridge to some of my dearest relationships, for some of the kindest messages I’ve ever received in my life.

you freed yourself for a job that was not good for you and related to toxic people (Integra-like – demanding the respect you deserve). That is badass brave – and that doesn’t become less by that fact that maybe the next job you got is not the end of the journey but still part of the way. And you are brave by sharing your work, sharing your stories revealing parts of your emotional world to the outside – that is totally bad as too. I think you can be very proud of you, really. So maybe right now, you might be in situation that does not yet make you happy in way you deserve it. But you know- there is big chance that this is part of your journey to this place – imagine, in some time from now, you may be a successful (brilliant you are already) author and in an interview you say something like “yes, back there in 2016/17 I went through some tough times, that influenced the work very much I got this price for today”. So just in case you maybe cannot see it right now yourself – please allow me to tell you – you are brave and wonderful. And re. the brave decision you mentioned – I know I am not in the position to tell you anything – but please do not do any harm to you. So, thank you so much for your work you share with the world, my life is better with it. Take care for yourself, you deserve the best. (so sorry, I am really not good with words, hope you get my point….)

Anon, this was the kindest thing you could have ever done for little 2016/17 me. Oh God. Time does fly by so fast. I want you to know that I read this message a long time ago, and it gave me strength to go on, even though I’m not sure if I am so brave, to be compared to our lady Integra >< I hope you are happy and safe, wherever you are. I hope you know how brave and wonderful *you* are. Thank you so much.

just wanted to drop by and say I love all your fanfictions! You capture Integra and Alucard's characters so well; I LOVE it. Take all the time you need updating. You deserve it. And good luck at your job! <3

Ah, I probably changed jobs like twice since then. But they have been all good and meaningful in their own ways. I really did not mean to take THIS long in updating but I hope that you enjoyed the recent updates if you are still reading, thank you so much!

Why can I not write here? I just wanted you to know I am grateful for the reading joys that are 'Snow White' and 'Satis'...

Thank you Anon! I am so glad you enjoyed them!

I LOVE SATIS SO MUCH YOUR WRITING IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND FLOWY AND IT MAKES ME CRY PLEASE KEEP UP THE BRILLIANT WORK!!

Thank you Anon! You give me too much praise, but I shall indeed try to keep it up!

Hey so please don't take this as me pressuring you but I absolutely adore Satis! Is there any chance we might know when the next update is coming in? Totally understand if not- it sounds like work is taking a lot out of you and I understand that you're writing fan fiction purely for fun but DAMN IF I DON'T WANT TO READ MORE OF YOUR FIC OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!!!

I’m sorry it’s been ages! I’ll tell you my schedule(???) for this year instead! For this year of 2021 I really hope to average maybe at least 1 chapter a month but I don’t know how I’ll fare during the busy months. I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters if you are still reading!

@fierce-little-miana Can you believe that I have just noticed that I had given you any kudos for Snow White or Satis?! Sorry! Your stories are really worth all the praise we can give them. (so I corrected it) Have a nice day!

Thank you! I’m terribly sorry for this late reply. You’ve been so kind and sent so many lovely messages. Thank you again for each and every one of them!

@sinish-tem Hey sorryy for bothering you but. That ALutegra fic was AMAZING!!I LOVE IT!Amazing job sport<3

You’re not bothering me at all! Thank you old sport!

So I don't mean to rush you or be annoying or anything, but is Satis still happening? (plz plz say yes)

You’re not being annoying! I’m sorry it took so long! Yes :)

Hello! So, um, I have to ask... is Satis going to be updated? It’s just that it’s one of my absolute favorite stories by my absolute favorite author!

Thank you! I’m honored! I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters if you’re still reading!

Hi! Are you still around? Are you doing ok?

Yes, I am fine now, thank you :) I hope you are doing well, too!

@aniphine Hi! First off, I want to say that I absolutely love your writing style and am so looking forward to diving into all of your fics! I just finished Satis and it’s definitely in my Top 10 Fanfics ever, which is saying something! Thanks so much for writing it. On that note, I wanted to ask if you had plans to update it? If not, that’s totally cool - what you’ve written already is fantastic. But if so, I’d pledge my life to you in order to get a chance at reading more. 😆 Anyhoo, you’re awesome! 👋

Thank you so much! You are awesome too! I’m honored that Satis is in your top 10!!

@dontfuckingfollowmeifpornblog You still around?

I am now! Thank you!

@comixqueen Hello have I told you that I really love your Hellsing fics? ;u;/ They're among the best out there and I reread them often!

Thank you very much. That means a lot to me from you. Thank you for rereading, I’m always wary of my earlier writing but I’m glad if people still enjoy them.

I have never squealed higher than when I received the notification for the new chapter of Satis. You are a true blessing <3 thank you for your words

You are a blessing! Thank you so much!

Hello! I know you're not very active around here, but I just saw a trailer for a movie based on the letters of Vita and Virginia, and I was immediately reminded of Satis and the quotes you so expertly used in the narration, and I thought I might tell you in case you're interested in the movie (the title is literally Vita and Virginia) <3

Thank you Anon! I did see the trailer! I haven’t seen the movie yet though, but I will, eventually! I am so glad you think I did the quotes justice! It’s such a beautiful quote.

Not sure how to start this, might be a little bold, and yet; let me simply say that I am in love with your written works. In fact, so much so that I read it all again, and again. It never ceases to amaze. And as for you, the person behind it all, you do seem immensely precious as well. I hope that you have the most fantastic day, you deserve no less.

Anon, you are so very kind. Thank you so much for your lovely words. I am just an ordinary person unusually invested in a particular set of fictional characters xD and I am often late to things and a bad correspondent, but I must be doing something right if you’re sending me a message as lovely as this. Thank you again, I hope you are having fantastic days as well.

Honestly ive read your snow white fic years ago but I loved it insanely much and im about to read it again today ^.^

Thank you Anon! Ah, Snow White. I am very glad you still enjoy it. It is so old, and I wish I had the courage to edit it and spruce it up, or even update an extra or two...

Are you ever planning to continue Satis? I’m in love with that piece of work.

Thank you Anon! Yes! I hope you enjoyed the recent chapters!

My literal text to a friend of mine that's also a fan of Satis when I got the AO3 mail about the new chapter was: "NOW THEY'RE FINALLY STARTING TO BE *HAPPY* HOLIDAYS"

I am very glad I was able to bring you holiday cheer. Would it be bold of me if I say I aim to bring you non-holiday cheer as well, now? xD Thank you so much!

HEY JUST CAME HERE TO SAY I LOVE SATIS, OKAY BYYYYE

HELLO ANON! THANK YOUUUUU

[livesincerely]

I’m very sorry for all of the asks Madam Sincerely, but I’ve just recently gone on a binge of all of your fics, and I don’t think there’s any more questions on the ask game, so can I ask here: Do you have any ideas on future works that you haven’t started writing yet? If so, can we hear some? I was scrolling back through your tumblr to cheer myself up yesterday (my country’s gone back into lockdown) and saw you mentioned a few ideas, like the one in the SubDavey ask? Sorry, just curious <3

No need to be sorry, the asks are lovely! I’m sorry to hear that things have shut down where you are, I’m sure that’s incredibly difficult. Sending all the positivity your way 💕💜✨⭐️💕💜

The Domestic au is the QUEEN of inspiring random story ideas and dangling plot threads. There’s several floating around in the domestic au/ideas for later tags but if I was going to narrow it down to a handful of ideas that have a good chance of existing in the near-ish future, then I’d say 1) the Jack and Davey preparing for college fic 2) the Davey picking Race & Charlie up from the elementary school because Jack’s sick fic 3) the Race and Charlie needing a cuddle pile fic and 4) the bedsharing fic where Jack is struggling under the pressure of fighting for custody and needs some comfort.

I’m just in the mood for some stuff set in the high school/college era of that au, probably because ‘it’s beginning to look a lot like...’ has got me in the mindset. All of these would be one shots, just showing more landmarks in the boys’ history since ‘it’s so easy (too easy) to love you’ sort of just drops you right into the ocean as far as circumstances lol. And also, there’s a lot of family building that goes on before Jack and Davey get together that I’m very interested in exploring! I think Race describes it as ‘eight years of waiting for Jack and Davey to get their shit together?’ Yeah. So definitely lots of domestic au in the upcoming year.

I’ve talked the tiniest bit about ‘there’s you and me (and everyone else)’ and ‘a few letters off’ but after doing the first bits & bobs for each of them, I got distracted by other projects as I so often do, 😅 so I’ll talk about them here. Actually, I’m not even sure if these had working title ideas last time I mentioned them here, it’s been that long lol.

Anyway, these two fics are very similar, but just different enough to need separate fics. The first is a modern, high school au that features different examples of Jack and Davey being the accidental co-parents of their friend group while obliviously pining for each other. I’m thinking it will be individual scenes tied together by the theme; I’ll put the original idea post here and the bits & bobs here. Besides what I already talked about, I also think I want to include a scene where Albert and Crutchie are going on a first date (a pairing that is absolutely inspired by @agentsnickers, you’ve converted me) and they both separately approach Jack and Davey for advice on what to do/wear/etc. Like, a total ‘our-kids-on-their-first-date-get-the-camera’ type thing, plus Jack being an overprotective older brother and giving Charlie a curfew because he’s ridiculous.

“Be home by nine,” Jack says, a little surly. “Nine?” Davey asks, incredulous “They’re seventeen not seven. Eleven o’clock.” “I’m supposed to trust Albert with my baby brother at eleven o’clock?” Jack asks, scowling. “That’s just asking for trouble.” He says trouble in the sort of ominous tone other people reserve for imminent nuclear meltdown or battlefield heart surgery. “What do you think Albert’s gonna do, stick his hand down Crutchie’s pants the moment they walk out the door?” Davey says with a scoff. “It’s Albert.” “Ten-thirty,” Jack eventually offers. Davey nods, then looks back at Albert and Crutchie, who have been following this exchange like a tennis match and are both now a little pink in the face, and shrugs, trying to convey something like ‘pick your battles’. “Great!” Crutchie squeaks out, sounding absolutely mortified. “Great, ten-thirty it is, oh my god, Albert let’s go before theykeeptalking—“

Oh! And I want Davey to full name someone in the ultimate you-fucked-up-and-mom-is-pissed move. I even went and made full names for everyone just to be prepared 😊

Then, ‘a few letters off’ is the Jack-and-Davey’s-friends’-perspectives-on-the-nonsense-that-is-Javid fic. I’ve basically finished the Buttons scene, but I’m also hoping to include one each from the povs of Katherine, Crutchie, Racetrack, Spot, and Albert at minimum.

I’m thinking:

Katherine - catching Jack painting/drawing Davey while Jack tries to cover and deny

Spot - The aftermath of him and Jack getting into a fight with the DeLancey’s and him watching Davey fluttered worriedly around Jack, scolding him for being a reckless but still dabbing carefully at his injuries.

Racetrack - comes home to find Jack and Davey watching a movie, except that Jack’s fallen asleep halfway through, head in Davey’s lap, and Davey is adamant that Race doesn’t wake him.

Crutchie - watching Javid eating lunch together and noting how totally domestic it is: stealing food from each other’s plates, Jack gives Davey his extra fruit cup then swipes his milk carton and Davey doesn’t even say anything because it’s so routine, and how they’re able to move in and around each other effortlessly while eating and holding two separate conversations.

Albert - watching Jack and Davey flirt/bicker from the backseat on the drive to school.

And then some sort of culminating/getting together scene at the end.

There’s the infamous quarantine fic, which I waxed poetically about for all of two seconds and then never expanded on. (Here and here) The reason I haven’t done anything with it yet is because it will be a multi-chapter and between tie fic, take a shot fic, and now the domestic au holiday fic, I’m really at my limit for multi chapters at the mo’. But I do still want to do something with this once I finish tie fic and DAUHF, as take a shot knows no bounds and cannot be quantified by earthly means.

Then, as for the idea I mentioned in the sub!Davey post.... I think I’m going to be able to repurpose the general scenario/concept I was imagining for the final, E rated chapter of Tie Fic, so I don’t think the original idea will ever make it to a final cut. (I won’t say never because anything’s possible lol) But, I’m happy to put the bit I have here! Things don’t quite get E rated in this excerpt, but they’re definitely a solid M. This would’ve been an addition to the Tease series and I think this has been sitting in my drafts for almost as long as the letterman fic, and it hasn’t been edited in at least two years, so yeah 😅

00000

“I really wanted to work on my thesis proposal, that’s why I was in the library most of the day,” Davey says suddenly, pushing Jack down against the couch and straddling him, his voice light and conversational. “It was nice of you to check on me so often, though I’m sorry I wasn’t very good company. I was trying to stay focused, you know how it is.”

Davey looks at Jack expectantly, making it clear that he’s waiting for a response. Jack stares up at him, his expression equal parts confused, transfixed, and aroused. He swallows heavily, then nods.

“But I did warn you, didn’t I?” Davey continues, bracing himself with a hand on each of Jack’s shoulders, rolling their hips together as he presses closer. “That I had a lot of work to do? That this paper is really important to me and that I wanted to get a head start? That I really needed to focus and didn’t want to be distracted? I distinctly remember warning you about all of that.”

He nuzzles down the curve of Jack’s jaw, then nips at his neck. “But you didn’t listen,” he says against Jack’s pulse point. Davey smooths his hands down Jack’s chest, then back up to his throat, tugging at his collar. He unbuttons the first few buttons of his shirt.

“In fact, one could argue that you did the exact opposite of what I asked you to do,” Davey says, working his way slowly through the buttons on Jack’s shirt. “Trailing your fingers across my arm, rubbing a thumb across the nape of my neck, sneaking a hand up my shirt… I would call all of that distracting, wouldn’t you?” He finishes unbuttoning Jack’s shirt and pushes it off his shoulders, admiring his muscular chest.

Davey glances up sharply. “Answer me, Jack.”

Jack blinks himself out of his daze. “I-uh, what did you ask me?”

Davey leans forward. They’re so close that he can feel the warmth of Jack’s breath against his face. “I asked you,” he starts, wrapping his arms loosely around Jack’s neck, “whether you thought constantly caressing someone while they were trying to work would distract them.”

It takes Jack a long moment to respond. “Yeah.”

One of Davey’s hands trails up the back of Jack’s neck. “You agree that doing something like that would be impossibly flustering?” Davey asks in that same, unaffected voice—as if clarifying a statement for a news article—threading his fingers through Jack’s hair. “That it would thoroughly divert that person’s focus? That it would leave them feeling unbalanced, frustrated, and downright agitated?

He leans impossibly closer, so close that the barest tilt of his head would press their lips together. “That it would drive them so crazy that all they could think about was how desperately they needed to be fucked,” Davey growls out, and his voice low and rough.

“Christ, Davey,” Jack groans, his pupils blown wide. He leans up to kiss him, but Davey anticipates this and tugs sharply on his hair, holding him in place. “So, we’re in agreement?” Davey continues in his casual voice, letting go of the dark strands and pulling away slightly, ignoring Jack’s groan of disappointment, “that all of those actions would, in fact, be extremely distracting.”

He trails his hands lovingly across Jack’s shoulders and down his chest, his movements unhurried. He licks a hot stripe up Jack’s neck, then sucks hard at a spot just under his jaw.

“Considering both of these facts, I can only conclude that you were distracting me on purpose.” Davey presses a line of kisses along Jack’s collar bone, delighting in the moan that tears its way out of Jack’s throat. He scratches lightly at the tanned skin of Jack’s chest, then sucks a bruise just above his collarbone.

“Were you doing it on purpose, Jack?” he asks, then before Jack can answer, rolls his hips hard and slow against Jack’s, grinding their erections together. Jack’s hands spasm, then tighten, clenching hard against Davey’s sides. Davey continues his ministrations, circling his hips against Jack’s, teasing him with the friction. Then, just as Jack seems to catch on to Davey’s rhythm and starts to move with him, Davey stills. “Were you teasing me on purpose?”

Jack’s mouth opens and closes, his throat working furiously. “I-yeah.”

David hums in acknowledgment, then continues his slow perusal of his boyfriend’s chest. He nibbles lightly across his sternum, then draws the flat of his tongue across one of one Jack’s nipples. Jack arches into him but Davey pushes him back, using his leverage to hold Jack down against the couch cushions. He sits up, admiring the mess he’s made of Jack’s neck and torso.

Jack stares up at him, chest heaving, waiting for Davey’s next move.

....

Davey runs his hands down Jack’s stomach and between his hips, fingers brushing gently against the front of Jack’s jeans.

Jack lets out a guttural noise. “God, Davey, let me—“ he starts, one hand slipping back to kneed at Davey’s ass, the other inching towards Davey’s fly.

“No,” Davey says firmly, moving Jack’s hands back to his waist. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

00000

That’s all that comes to mind at the moment! Oh, and the Brooklyn Davey AU idea, but I got a different ask about that, so I’ll just link it. (Here)

@saysflora

[mittensmorgul]

The Tumblr Beta Version: an objective analysis

I was tempted to just type “it sucks.” And while that is an objective analysis, it’s not exactly helpful. I’ve sent several requests to @staff and @support to restore my account to the old tumblr dashboard format, and received the same automated reply twice now. I’ll copy/paste it here so everyone is on the same page:

(lol, I had to go back and edit this, because apparently the beta version doesn’t display block quotes on the dash. So I’ve also put the block quotes in italics... hopefully it’ll display properly... note after editing: nope, it doesn’t display italics either... how the heck am I supposed to differentiate quoted text? I’ll start each quoted bit with an asterisk, I guess...)

*Thanks for reaching out about the beta dashboard.

*We're currently testing it out, and your account seems to have been selected to take part in the test. Thanks for your patience while we work on it! At this time there is not a way to opt out of testing. You may see your Tumblr experience return to normal as we continue testing.

WE CAN ONLY HOPE.

*In the meantime, check out some of the new features available only in the beta dashboard:

OKAY TUMBLR, IF YOU INSIST, though I would MUCH rather have back all the functionality I personally invested into this website through xkit... you know... making the site ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL. Let’s see what this beta version has given me instead of functionality:

*Change Palettes: Go to the person icon, then click "Change Palette." You'll find the classic Tumblr blue, dark mode, and a few other color palettes for your dash.

So I tried out all the color palettes. In addition to the ones mentioned here, there’s one that’s trying to look like a green screen terminal that gives me flashbacks to the early 80′s. There’s a reason we stopped using green screen terminals... Another one is “canary yellow.” It’s very yellow. The “classic tumblr” isn’t actually classic tumblr... all the post boxes are dark blue with grey type, not white with black type. And all the other colors are the insanely bright fluorescent of the new Dark Blue standard tumblr scheme. Which means links are practically invisible unless I highlight them. It’s migraine inducing. The one theme with a light colored background is called “Concrete” or “Cement” or something like that and even that only works for about half an hour before the migraine aura really kicks in. I just want my Old Blue via xkit back. You know, what tumblr actually used to look like. I don’t want any of these horrible color palettes. None of them work for me.

*The new "meatballs" menu: This is where you can copy the post link, unfollow the Tumblr who made or reblogged the post, or report a violation to our Community Guidelines.

I could do all of this from the user menus with xkit, too. I don’t regularly report violations or have the urge to block people I have chosen to follow. Why on earth would I want to do any of this? And why would I want these features located directly beside the post link copy feature? 

You know what I do miss? I miss the xkit timestamps feature. I didn’t have to hover dangerously close to the KILL IT WITH FIRE meatballs menu in order to see when a post was made, and in this era of disinformation and misinformation spreading around this site faster than Covid-19, being able to see when a post was ORIGINALLY created is a far more useful feature than an easier way to block people. For reference: I currently have three blogs blocked. Two of them are pornbots. One is a nazi. If I don’t want someone’s content on my dash, I don’t follow them. This “feature” is entirely useless to me.

*A quick note: Pagination is not supported in this beta test, but we're collecting feedback to send to our engineers.

THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST. This beta test might actually be tolerable if I wasn’t trapped into endless scrolling. If I could page through my dash, refreshing it every ten posts or so. You know why? Because once I scroll about 30 posts down my dash, tumblr starts overheating my laptop under the load of ALL THOSE POSTS. Things start malfunctioning-- it takes longer and longer to load new posts the farther I scroll. And the keyboard navigation (both page down and hitting J to advance to the next post, and even just using the down arrow to scroll as I read a long post) freeze and stop functioning. One of my laptop fans has actually begun to malfunction.

You know why this wasn’t a problem on the old version? If the data load got to heavy, I could open a post in a new tab, click view on dash with xkit, and voila! Brand new tab! I could close the malfunctioning tab and everything would be refreshed to normal! But without pagination, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

Also, after reblogging a few posts, the beta version of this site breaks, and doesn’t open a post tab to add commentary or even tags. It just... reblogs the untagged post with no warning whatsoever. You know... that’s really really not cool. I tag EVERYTHING. Well, almost everything. The tags are the only way to keep track of the 40k+ posts on my blog. And warn people that I am posting potential spoilers, or other specific content. It’s REALLY inconvenient to have to either immediately go to my blog to edit the post and add tags, or even comments. The alternative is to scroll up to open individual posts I want to reblog in a new tab, and then reblog directly there. Ironically enough, THOSE pages actually open with xkit installed, and everything (surprise!) functions perfectly there.

It’s perfectly reasonable to understand why this specific issue has limited the number of posts I reblog. Reblogging content should not be this much of a hassle. Creators have been complaining for a while that reblogs have drastically slowed down, and I think making it even more annoying and difficult to reblog posts will not help this problem.

Also, with xkit enabled, there’s a function that auto-loads images as you scroll, so the images are always visible BEFORE they appear on screen. I don’t have to look at the colored boxes and wonder if this is a post I’ve already seen or something I should sit and wait for. Don’t even think about watching tumblr videos. Loading priority is given to the ads that you cannot pause or dismiss, so that video loads and plays in choppy two second bursts instead of being given priority. Since that’s the content I am actually here to consume, it kinda makes me want to do the opposite of patronizing anyone who advertises here with graphically intense ads. And then when you scroll away, with xkit, gifs and videos you’ve scrolled past STOP loading and playing, which I think might be contributing to the intensity of the resource hogging that’s literally melting down my laptop.

And for reference, I have a pretty decent little gaming laptop. A blogging platform shouldn’t be driving it to the brink of frying itself. I didn’t realize just how much xkit worked to streamline this and provide basic functionality to this site.

*And lastly, if you're an XKit user, know that the XKit team is working hard to update things on their end to make it compatible with the beta dashboard.

And this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what I’ve lost without xkit. And this is a really REALLY garbage response to user complaints. “Oh, yeah, sorry we made our site suck even worse, but those nice people who do our jobs for free will surely fix our garbage soon!”

Dear wonderful people at @new-xkit-extension, I love you, and I miss you, and while I wish xkit worked with this beta version I’ve been forced into living with, I truly feel for y’all who are trying to deal with this nonsense on behalf of all of us.

And to the folks at Tumblr... maybe try to just... make your site actually more like xkit. You know, actually functional. None of these special new features are useful or functional to me. I respectfully request for a fourth time to be removed from this inane beta test.

Give us OPTIONS. Let us display ALL THE TAGS without having to click a button. Let me have back my Activity+ that actually allowed me to interact with people from my dash! That showed me real-time inline notifications in a way that I could reply to with a single click! Bring me back to my column of open messaging conversation icons so I have easy access to the people I talk with throughout the day instead of closing them all every time I refresh the page. I already feel socially isolated in freaking quarantine, please stop shutting off all my avenues of communication!

Let us have pagination! I mean, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to force heavy users of this site into a beta version that doesn’t allow us to opt out until your engineers had actually figured out how to make it work in a very basic way.

*Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with!

YES. PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS BETA TEST NOW. I have let you know exactly what I want from this site. I just want it to ACTUALLY WORK. For someone who spends 12+ hours a day on this site, this beta test version is NONFUNCTIONAL. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT. I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU. I WILL ACTUALLY PAY YOU CASH MONEY TO ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT OF THIS AND GO BACK TO HAVING A FUNCTIONAL BLOG AGAIN. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

PLEASE! 

I AM OFFICIALLY AT THE END OF MY PATIENCE FOR ENDURING THIS NIGHTMARE.

(one final quick note... I’ve only been back on my dash long enough to make the parenthetical edits-- i.e. adding italics that don’t display and then adding the asterisks at the beginning of each section of quoted text, and already my laptop is overheating again. For reference, I originally typed this entire post from within my tumblr inbox page-- which still functions normally with xkit-- and spent over an hour on it. My laptop was fine the entire time. Clearly the issue is this beta version of the website. I will never forgive tumblr if y’all fry my literal only portal to the outside world at this time. PUT ME BACK TO NORMAL NOW. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING AND ENTIRELY UNACCEPTABLE. Thanks)

(oops apparently i lied... when the asterisks and the previous final note failed to display, I thought that seemed suspicious, and realized that I literally needed to refresh my entire dash in order to see edited changes. Funny how xkit enabled me to do that in real time, which is just another bit of functionality I’ve lost with this beta program. Please guys, this is really, really not working for me at all, just put it back.)

[the-goddessfighter]

Why Ship Batarou? (ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)

Cover made by @paperficwriter​!!

EDITED!!!

 This post is made in collaboration with @koeharu​ <3<3<3

--------------------

I'm tired of people outside heating a ship just to unload some personal anger on people they don't even know. 

All those people who have asked the questions:

¨Why you shipping them? ¨

¨Is it even posible? ¨

¨Where is the dynamics of this? ¨

 Well, well don’t worry... this is a post dedicated to answering those questions... and also in case someone wants to save energy against a hater.

 ------------------------

 1.- Personality QwQ

 ¨One of my favorite things about the ship that drew me to it in the first place is their personalities! My initial thought was that in different circumstances, these two would get along since they’re both quite wild characters.” -K

Yeah!, uwu let's see:

-Both are proud and stubborn.

-They don't give up on anything and nobody.

-They are the boys who pretend to be rude and dry but have a big heart (among those firm pectorals 7w7)

-Both are good with children; they would never hurt an innocent civilian.

 ----------

¨Which led my to my next thought, we don't know much about Badd's outside life but it seems he only has his sister and we KNOW Garou is completely alone so they would both need someone there for them which they can find in each other ¨ -K

 Exactly. The phrase "God makes them and they come together" would sound great. Sometime loneliness is a necessary feeling, but in a long time it will end up breaking you.

 ------------

¨And considering how they have both shown to be protective about things they care about they would be protective towards each other and that’s what really cemented the idea of ​​this ship to me. It’s just so pure hearted but also fun in the different ways it can be explored ^^ ¨ -K

 Garou did not have a good childhood, there was no one to share his thoughts even if he onley want to had a good conversation, he was always pointed with a finger and be recriminated.

Then we know that Badd is a protective guy and although many things will drive him out of his mind he is always willing to help, if he finds out about that sad past he would surely have a lot more empathy with Garou. Badd is not stupid (reckless maybe ... but not an idiot), he knew that Garou was lying when he said:

- "I have no time to lose with you".

He could not attack his sister because Garou possesses morality (much more than other heroes), he watched him go for a moment even naive of the situation. Something clearly did not fit and instead of being angry with, he simply let him go and continue with his work. (This point will be taken back later, remember *)

Assuming several things happen end up meeting again, and Badd gives him help, Garou would not forget that, many things have been denied to him but he would certainly be eternally grateful to found someone to give him a helping hand. Badd would then become his beginning, a way to start his life again. It’s that something that keeps us safe, that listens to us, that looks for us. If so, Garou would be under great care and esteem fort something that stays by his side and treats him as an equal: In this case Badd.

 Also: Garou saved Zenko, even though he did it "unconsciously"

 ... The image speaks for itself.

  2.- Design UwU

 There are people who accuse us by saying that the only reason we have for shipping them is that they are “attractive”…. I'm like ... WTF?! 

I mean, put the brain to work before the tongue in move.

Of course they are handsome! Of course they are attractive!! (I'm talking about the manga) to say otherwise would indicate that you need glasses!!! But that is not the point...

Another thing that we loved is the contrast of style baby :D. How saying it… it is as if they were the yin yang, the "perfect complement" for each other. Look in detail please:

  @donlemefo​ draw!

G: Black shoes -B: White shoes (canonically on the manga)

G: White pants -B: Black pants

G: Dark sweatshirt -B: Color sweater

G: White Hair -B: Black Hair

G: Golden eyes -B: Brown eyes

  U///U so akHKSASG yesss...

3.- Interactions

 (* Returning to the previous point)

I have also heard people say that it is "impossible" that B and G get along again, arguing this: - Why would Garou want to have something to do with the person who almost killed him? And why would Badd talk to someone who beat him up earlier? -

¬_¬ Seriously ... SERIOUSLY?!!! ufff...

Not to make it long I will give the easiest example in the history of anime:

More than 20 years ago nobody, ABSOLUTELY nobody would have imagined that Vegeta would become one of Goku's best friends and his training partner.

So don't come to tell me that it is "impossible" for Garou and Badd to reconcile in the future dude. U-U*

Even YM took the time to make this nice section: This is just for them because in a way Badd once again realized that G was not completely bad.

 --------------------- He.. Garou stays with the colored cat and Badd with the white ... coincidence?-------------

 .....But there is one more bit ... something that was not seen elsewhere. Badd is not the only one who endured a good fight, of course. But nevertheless it is the one that by default would have won ... or at least leave him very badly injured. What our heart says most for this couple is:

  4.- The teaching Badd left to Garou.

 Garou learns almost instantly as he fights, but are physical-teachings. I explain:

 + Tank top Master = Brute Force

+ Golden Ball = Predict projectiles

+ Spring Mustache = Tolerate Weapons

+ Watchdog man = Beastly / Wild Movements

+ Mumen Rider = ……. Dodge crazy bike attack? X’D

  But Badd is most acclaimed by us for his soul-teaching

  Fighting Spirit!  <3 HEART EYES MF! <3

  Although Garou is a prodigy in what he does, it takes him a long time to understand what Badd told him at the time. He not only understood; He felt it and took it out of one the biggest trouble he got into.

 Against a mental power you don't just have to be physically strong, if your spirit and thought is incorruptible… you are unstoppable. (Those who read the webcomic and manga understand what I say)

----------------------NEW EDITED!!!---------

This is the most recent that has come out. Is't not curious? That among all the fights that Garou has had; a "parallel" of his fight with Badd it's made again?

Here, explicitly Darkshine thinks the words that Garou said of Badd back time.

D: ¨His movements actually getting faster? ¨ G: "His swings are getting faster?"

Including a subtle reference to increased power, since Garou is not giving up... just like MB.

Or Murata is doing all this unconsciously ... or really knows perfectly what he does. Remember that what Murata draws has to be made aware from ONE, then ... I will continue waiting for wich will be his next move.

------------------------

 It is true that Garou interacted with more characters. But, like many of us, we focus on Badd for a ship. What our sense tells is that there is no other character that "fits" better with him that Badd. They are a good mix ... a good couple.

 Comment  what do you like about this ship, I would love to read your ideas!

@koeharu​ @dies-first​ @neko09oarmy​

Finally I want to clarify something very important ... this is for you. That's right ... FOR YOU person who loves to see the world burn. If you do not agree with a ship, there is a nice option to block everything you don't want to see on tumblr. Do not waste your strength to argue with someone, you just look worse than you try to make the ship and its derivatives look bad. -K & T

----------------- I apologize if I get to sound "upset" in the answers, but as people treat me I will treat them---------

[ckret2]

so DOES the food taste different in hell?

Yep, definitely.

(Edit: I apologize that this post isn’t cut, I tried to edit a word and when I saved it tumblr moved the "keep reading” cut to inside the ask itself????? I don’t know how it did that)

- Any normal Earth ingredients (fruits, veggies, animals, spices) are going to have diverged from the flavor of the same thing on Earth. Ingredients that are available in Hell are going to be there because somebody with a portal to Earth (like I.M.P.’s) smuggled some seeds or baby animals through a long time ago, which means that each one of these foods has been growing generation after generation for decades, centuries, or even millennia separately from the original food item on Earth.

And flavors diverging can happen fast. A well-known example: bananas used to come in two varieties, Gros Michel and Cavendish, and Gros Michel was all but wiped out by a fungus in the 1950s, so now the only commercially-available banana is Cavendish. What if Hell is still growing Gros Michels? They’re gonna taste weirdly sweet to anyone used to Cavendish.

Even if the humans producing food in Hell are trying to keep the taste similar—like, somebody cultivated a certain strain of peaches trying to get them to a specific flavor for years and years on Earth, died, and picked up the same project with Hell’s peaches—minor variations in flavor like that are going to be affected by tiny random mutations and random mixes of genes when the seeds are created, so it’s going to be next to impossible to start with a completely different strain of peaches and over the generations make them taste exactly like the strain of peaches you’re used to from somewhere else, especially if there’s no way to crossbreed those flavors. Particularly since, after a few decades in hell, the flavor they’re trying to replicate is now just a distant memory.

- The quality of ingredients in Hell probably sucks. Hell is a place for punishment, and we know from stream comments that this occasionally takes the form of things just being extremely inconvenient/annoying, like bad weather or allergies. It’s likely that “make things unnecessarily unpleasant just to inconvenience Hell’s residents” is going to extend to things like messing up the growing seasons, either parching or flooding the fields, etc. So you’re going to get, on average, worse quality ingredients than you do on Earth, and that’s going to affect the flavor of foods made with those ingredients.

- Lots of normal Earth ingredients are going to be unavailable, and thus substituted with Hellish ingredients. Either the original Earth ingredients were never smuggled in through a portal, or they were but they’re rare or expensive, being a foreign import that’s difficult to grow in local conditions. We know that hell has its own native flora & fauna, most of which is inimical to humanity; but humanity consists of a bunch of stubborn, determined sonsabitches so 100% chance they’ve been hunting & harvesting the things that grow in hell, attempting to eat them six hundred different ways until they find a way that isn’t poisonous, and then using them to cook.

So when normal ingredients aren’t available, sinners can absolutely go “Well, I don’t have any eggplants to make my eggplant parmesan... But after you boil it for five hours, this Thorny Toe-stinger Fruit tastes close enough, I can substitute it into the recipe.” And that works, you can substitute it into the recipe, and it’ll taste alright, maybe even good... but it doesn’t quite taste like eggplant.

- It’s going to be almost impossible to recreate mass-produced foods like Coca-Cola or Oreos. One of those things Said In A Stream At Some Point is that all of the things you can buy in hell are like slightly shitty off-brand knockoffs of the brand name thing you could get on Earth. This was implied to be part of the whole Hell Is A Punishment thing, but like it makes just as much sense from a logical standpoint.

Oreos exist and continue to exist because some corporation owns the exact recipe and the exact machines needed to cook them the exact same way every time. In order to recreate Oreos perfectly in Hell, you would need somebody who died with the exact Oreo recipe memorized—not just sorta remember it, but MEMORIZED, because you can’t go and look it up once you’re dead—and somebody who knows how to build each and every machine involved in the preparation, cooking, and assembly of Oreos. That just isn’t going to happen. There are likely dozens of machines that are maintained by dozens of people, and none of them need to memorize the exact layouts of the machines with every single part, they just need to have a pretty damn good idea of how the machines work and they can refer back to the blueprints for whatever they don’t remember. And the people who know how to wire the machines are gonna be different from the people who know how to cut and shape the metal to make the machines...

And even if people do exist in the world who have completely memorized every single step needed to create every single part of every machine involved in producing Oreos, no need for blueprints or written-down recipes... half of those people are going to Heaven, and then you’ve lost a couple stages in the process.

And also, again, the ingredients are going to be slightly different.

So you get to Hell, you want something familiar like Hershey’s chocolate or Twinkies or Honey Nut Cheerios or Doritos, what you’re going to find is the “grocery store brand knock-off” version of all of these foods, because replicating the exact recipe with the exact preparation process using the exact same ingredients is going to be impossible in Hell. Whatever you’re eating might be a perfectly okay food, but it’s going to be not quite the same as the familiar thing you’re used to.

- And then there’s the cultural factor to take into account: there’s different humans in Hell than on Earth. Everything from recipe books to restaurant offerings are going to be produced by the people in Hell, who are, of course, a different mix of people from the ones that are currently alive. If everyone liked to cook a certain recipe using XYZ process until 1850 when the last of those cooks died, then starting in 1850 the XYZ process became popular in Hell as new cooks arrived using that process.

Today, England is notorious for having “flavorless” food that uses much less spice than, say, Indian or Mexican food. England was actually about the opposite until around the 1600s: spice was loved and popular up until spice imported from colonies became extremely common, at which point the upper crust of society decided that spice was common and lower-class and it became trendy to cook food without it. If you’re used to English cuisine of the 2000s, die, end up in Hell’s equivalent of England, and go to a restaurant run by somebody who’s been down there since the 1600s, it’s going to taste very different.

And while flavors from centuries ago are going to gradually be forgotten on Earth as the people who used them die of old age, “modern” arrivals in Hell can always try the still-being-cooked foods from people who lived centuries earlier and build upon those recipes and experiment on them—meaning they can innovate on and experiment with flavors that nobody alive is using, and inventing new wholly localized food trends.

So yeah: everything in Hell tastes slightly different than it does on Earth.

[eloarei]

1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 13, 17, 23 (some of these are random and some aren't)

Thanks for the many questions, Socks! Sorry I didn’t answer them earlier; I decided answering asks on mobile sucks.  ALSO, this is going to be super long haha sorry.  1.  Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?       Well, my most current project is one I just started brainstorming. It’s (hopefully gonna be) a Fallout 3 series, with my latest fic being the starting point. LW/Fawkes is a ship I liked immediately when I played the series some years ago, but I never got around to writing for it, probably in part because there’s already a super good longfic about them, and I just didn’t think there was much else I could say. But my LW is different from Choco’s LW, and lately I wanted to start something self-indulgent. Although I have enough ideas for this to maybe be a single 30k fic, I’m choosing to do a series of shortfics instead, so that I’m not burdening myself with another long project. Fic series are great in that way, because it’s basically complete with every new fic.       On top of that, I have... probably 3 other things I want to make significant progress on this year. First is another Fallout fic: Same Heart. I’ve posted 8 chapters already and have almost 2 more done, but due to the slow-build nature of it (and my tagging) I don’t expect to have almost any readers until at least chapter 10 (when the ship characters finally meet). I’d like to at least get that far this year.       A project I’d love to finish by fall is the unreleased “The Wilderness”, a Venom zombie AU that I started for NaNoWriMo 2 years ago. It’s about 55% written, and my goal is to have as much of it done as possible before the sequel movie comes out. If it’s not done by then, I still plan to post whatever I have.       And lastly-ish, my novel... thing. Rogue. I’m in the process of editing it, although I’ve taken kind of a break lately. And as soon as I’m done with the edits and can get a couple of people to read it (just so they can tell me if certain parts are stupid and need changed) I plan to start the next book in the series... which will probably end up being book #1, actually, if I do them modern-era chronologically. It’s... gonna be a process. ^^;  2.  Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project.       In my upcoming FO3 fic series, I’m honestly just kind of weirdly looking forward to... how do I put this? Exploring my own vaguely-traumatic experiences through fic. I’ll always do a happy ending, if possible, but before we get there I really want to run these two through the ringer of... being given something they were led to believe was impossible, being judged for it, having it taken away, and then being told “well maybe it’s for the best”.       When it comes to future projects, I guess I’m really excited about writing the new Rogue book. “Reaper”, I guess, is its unimaginative working title. I’m anxious about it, because I thought Rogue had some really deeply emotional scenes, and I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to accomplish that as well with this new one, simply because the characters don’t have the same level of desperation about each other. I need to figure out what’s unique about their dynamic and push that. I guess I’m looking forward to the challenge.  3.  What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)       Hmm gosh. Technically there’s a scene in the later chapters of Mobius that I already wrote, but it wouldn’t take place until probably chapter 3 or later, and I just lost all steam on that fic, sadly. But every time I poke through my notes I make myself cry reading it. It’s a scene where one character knows it’s going to be the last time he sees the person he loves most, and he can’t explain his pain to anyone. I really just want to get there so I can see if it makes other people cry like babies haha.       But on a completely unrelated note, there’s also this ZADR fic I started writing in like 2009, and I absolutely didn’t want to do the work to get to the fun middle scenes, but basically it was an AU where young adult Dib went to live/work in the thriving multi-species space community, where he’s... I dunno, studying alien biology I think?, and he ends up with Zim as a roommate. The scenes I really wanted to write were about the two of them getting into like a bar fight with some tough types, and Zim gets his pak ripped off/damaged in the process, and Dib has to sort of take care of him through a horrible fever. But then it turns out that the pak was not a life-support system like they thought, but actually a growth inhibitor so they (the people in charge of the Irkens) could choose who became the Tallest (the leaders). (And also it hindered reproduction, etc.) So basically the two of them accidentally start to unravel a galactic conspiracy which also involves corruption in the Earth government, etc, and Zim gets taller but spoiler alert, he still doesn’t get tall enough to challenge the Tallest lol. Sadly, I doubt I’ll ever actually write that fic. Sounds like too much effort lol.  7.  What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?       That’s such a hard question. Ummm. How do I put any of that into words? ...I think one of the things about my writing is that a lot of the time nothing really happens in a scene, and the story mostly focuses on a character thinking. Like, enough happens so there’s something for them to think about, but I think I tend to put a lot of emphasis on POV character’s thoughts, to the point of sometimes seeming stream-of-consciousness. I’ve been told that this makes my stories feel alive though? So I think it appeals to some people, though I’m sure others would find such stories boring.       Oh also, somewhat along these lines, I like to add commentary that is only somewhat relevant, usually in parenthesis at the end of a sentence or paragraph. (Honestly, it’s not unusual to see one in every paragraph if I’m writing something slightly humorous.)  9.  Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?      I would LOVE to write primarily longfics! However, I just don’t have the time or energy for it, and I don’t write fast enough. So I end up with a lot of oneshots under 10k. I had to challenge myself to learn to write short things though, and then it’s really about writing something short, not about writing a specific story.       Generally, I’m both pantster and plotter. I tend to write the first chapter/few scenes/maybe as much as 10k, just by the seat of my pants. After that, I look at what I’ve got and write out a plot to continue from there. Plotting everything out before I start just doesn’t work for me, but if I try “pantsing” anything longer than 15k I know I’m gonna have an absolute torturous hell of a time.  13.  Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?      Lol I think anyone who’s reading this knows I share my stuff online. Primarily on my AO3, though there’s some other stuff floating around here on tumblr too.  Most of the time if I keep something to myself it’s only because it’s not finish enough to share. So, sure, there’s plenty of that, but the goal is always to share it eventually. If I ever get around to finishing a novel, those will probably be the only things I don’t just post online. (Though I do post most of my OC stuff currently.)  17.  Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?       I think that inevitably my readers will always perceive me and my writing a bit differently than I do. That’s just... interacting with people. Nobody knows you entirely. However, I am as open and honest in my writing as possible, and I actually think that reading my fic is the best way to get to know me. I like to hope that I am an open book to anyone who has read many of my words. =] While you may not know the details of my life, I think you would have a good insight into my personality.    23.  What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?       Like... my oldest fic/story that I’ve never written or posted? Not counting stuff I’ve consciously abandoned (things from middle school, mostly), my original fic series, “Damsel and Company in Distress” aka DamselCo. is definitely my oldest story. I think I started fiddling with it in 2006-- which makes it pretty disappointing that it’s gotten next to nowhere. XD; But the story is my baby, and it’s been my baby for so long that anyone who’s followed me ever is probably at least vaguely familiar with a few of the characters.  Now maybe one day I’ll actually give it the attention it deserves, though I’m sure it’ll need significant revamping. After all, a lot has changed in 14+ years. Ideas that were new and subversive then are probably already stale. 

[houseplant-central]

if John Green wrote me as a character in one of his novels

Quick trigger warning: this post includes spoilers for John Green's "Looking for Alaska", as well as discussion of writing that glorifies mental illness and suicide.  

My younger sister told me this morning that she had started reading a novel by John Green. No disrespect intended to the man, but I was concerned.

Among a variety of other media I consumed in my pre-teen years, it was likely the anthology of John Green's works I owned that contributed to my obsession with the collective "manic pixie dream girl" fetish of 2013. (An anthology of works that is still sitting on a bookshelf at my mother's house, hence where my sister must have found "An Abundance of Katherines"). Again, no disrespect to the man, but when all of your books (with the exception of "The Fault In Our Stars") have a "quirky" but "tragically mentally ill" teenage girl who is somehow also super fit and always looking attractive (despite afore mentioned mental illness she's supposedly dealing with), who will either pretend to die or actually die by the halfway point of the book to inspire your male lead to go on a soul searching journey-- something's going on.

Case in point, "Looking For Alaska", which (spoiler alert), I am going to spoil the plot of in the next few paragraphs. Alaska has the potential to be one of the most interesting female leads I've ever come across in teen literature. She's enigmatic, ridiculously quick-witted and undeniably beautiful. She's recovering from a complicated family trauma, and has moved out on her own to attend university, determined to carve out a meaningful life for herself, despite struggling with complex PTSD and manic depression.

Except the story is told from the point of view of a young boy named Miles, whose only real character trait is that he's hopelessly fascinated by Alaska. This could still work as a novel mostly about Alaska, but told through the eyes of her first love, Miles. Or as a chronicle of their friendship and love story. But for either of those to work, it would require Green to use Miles' point of view to flesh out both Miles' and Alaska's character. Instead, Miles remains a stand in for literally any teenage boy, with very little character qualities, and Alaska's "quirkiness" and attractive qualities elevate her to the most amazing person Miles has ever come across. Despite Miles and Alaska only being very briefly romantically involved, Miles spends the entirety of the book chronicling his attraction to Alaska and everyone else's love for her.

But it doesn't stop there.

All of Alaska's quirks are considered attractive, including her toxicity to her friends, her long disappearances, and jokes about her suicidal ideation and depression. Her mental illness is glorified as another thing that separates her from the "other girls" which hold no interest for Miles. Ultimately it's this glorification of her mental illness, especially her manic depression, that makes me comfortable labelling this work as one that falls into the "manic pixie dream girl" trope.

But it doesn't stop there.

Because Alaska kills herself. And this only creates more intrigue for Miles, who dedicates the rest of the novel to better understanding her, even when she is gone. Which again, could be quite a compelling, if depressing, narrative. But ultimately Green makes it so Alaska's death only makes Miles more in love with her. The friends who were once side characters express to Miles how much they miss her now that she's gone. The bully characters admit to Miles that they've realized they should have befriended her when she was alive, but could only realize that now that she's dead. Far from a warning that your loved ones will miss you when you're gone, "Looking for Alaska" was "13 Reasons Why" before "13 Reasons Why". It promised young readers that people who kill themselves teach their friends and their bullies their worth: the absolute last messaging any author should be sending to young readers.

This was indeed sub-par messaging for tiny, clinically depressed pre-teen me.

Back to the crux of the point, however. For a long time I was in love with this book, and the character of Alaska. I supposed I looked at her and her family trauma, similar to mine, and thought: "damn, my trauma just makes me cry whenever adults raise their voice, but this girl uses it to be smart, skinny, well-dressed, well-read, a little provocative, AND relatable. I must be doing something wrong." Thus, with Alaska and a collection of Tumblr posts and Arctic Monkey's lyrics in mind, I set about my several year long quest to become just that variety of manic pixie dream girl.

Enter: several problems. I did not struggle with mania, rather sluggishness and a loss of enthusiasm for life outside of novels and the internet; this meant I did not feel like running around in short skirts and knee socks being the life of the party in every situation like Alaska. I wasn't pixie sized; I struggled with my relationship to my body my entire teenage years, and I could never hop up on a table to give a drunken toast like Alaska, it might break. "Dream" is a little less quantifiable, but I never talked to anyone outside my handful of friends, so I had slim chances of becoming anyone's impossible dream. "Girl" I thought I at least fit, for the entirety of high school, but I came out as non-binary in my first year of university; so all together taking a look at "manic pixie dream girl" I was 0 for 4.

Nonetheless aspects of that romanticism of a broken childhood and that touch-and-go relationship with self-identity stuck with me through high school into college, and my greatest fear is either promoting that romanticization of real issues in real life, or in my writing. Because often I look at myself, or an aspect of my life and go "heh, that doesn't sound like a real personality trait, that sounds like something a female John Green novel character would do or say. Get over yourself."

So here, without further ado, is a look into that guilty pleasure of romanticization. John Green would start with something like: "they* liked used books that already had annotation in them." It's always a little detail with him, one that's considered a character "quirk". That's the one thing of his I picked up and is still in far too much in my writing today. A list of quirks instead of an actual character. (But that's a blogpost on writing for another time).

So: "They liked used books that already had annotation in them. They kept a collection of books on astrology, numerology, and tarot. They grew outdoor plants indoors under a lamp they bought from a weed dealer, though they didn't smoke. The plants were mostly herbs, and they used them in cooking. They had houseplants too. Their eyes were deep set. When they wore mascara it smudged near instantly underneath, but it still looked good. They had some sort of tragic backstory, that explained their oversized sweaters, and their late nights and their dark art, but the backstory was desperate and sweaty and felt like fingernails making bloody crescents in hands, and wasn't aesthetic, so it wasn't important. They owned a polaroid camera. They'd read the entirety of Beowulf for fun. They would somedays stare into nothingness for hours on end if uninterrupted, not thinking of anything at all, and be startled by the way time still continued to pass. But that wasn't terrifying, it was only quirky, somehow. They smelled like coffee. They couldn't seem to make themselves yell, even when they were angry or in danger, but that was also quirky, somehow, and cute, and not a huge safety issue. They liked the smell of pine trees."

I think it's important to romanticize some aspects of your own life. If it's important to you, then it's important to you. Liking your own quirks is much better than hating them. And romanticizing quirks like smelling of coffee is valid. But romanticizing your bad or difficult qualities as "quirky" is not good. (A note to fourteen year old me: "romanticize your love of already annotated books! But not your mental illness! Take that shit seriously instead, yo.") And thinking you're going to make your life better or more meaningful by copying Alaska is never a good idea; she didn't have a very good ending.

*they/them are my preferred pronouns!

Edit: I looked up "Looking for Alaska" and realized it's banned in some highschools in Canada and the states. I was about to redact some of my harsh standpoint that it's not a good read for younger teens, who might become too blindly attached to the negative messaging like I did, because I don't think banning books outright for heavy content is ever a good idea (banning books for hate speech is another debate for another time). But then I saw the suggested ban has nothing to do with the glorification of suicide and everything to do with the "offensive language, sexually explicit scenes, homosexuality and unsuitable religious viewpoints", which is ridiculous. I don't think it should be banned in any capacity-- I think reading it now (if I'd never read it before) would give me context for the manic pixie dream girl craze, and be somewhat of an enjoyable read. My hesitance about my sister reading it now is because she reminds me too much of myself at that age.

[crionsbelt]

This may or may not go up by the time midnight hits or slightly after for me, let’s see what happens! I’ve been working on this since 9:30 PM EST, I expect it’ll be done by 12:50 AM EST. Hopefully I’m right so it ain’t too late gjnhg

For starters: Happy New Year everyone! Hard to believe we lived in the decade where this beauty was created. Nonetheless, there are multiple people I want to thank -- along with a much needed personal note from me. Everything will be put into a read more, but trust me, it’s long. Thank you all for making the final days of this decade very welcoming for me!

@kiidreamu​ & @theabyssalmuses​

It’s rather silly for me to start with you two, because I’ve got quite a bit to say; so here goes! I’ve known you two for...quite a while huh? I can’t recall the exact time, but I know we’ve been mutuals since I went by Phantom -- which was a long while ago. Regardless, I’ve always enjoyed you two on my dash; and I’ve always really liked interacting with y’all OOC! I’ve always had a blast speaking with you two (specifically now w all this fuckin Bear Ass shit).  I really enjoy the way you two write your muses, I think you both should have a lot more faith in them because they’re very fun to see on the dash! It’s pretty clear y’all put a lot of effort into your writing, even if you say you don’t, I for sure notice it.  Hime, I know you said you admired me - but there’s nothing to admire! You and Kii are equally as good as me, but I’m definitely not much. However, I never posted it (because I had it in my drafts and still do) because it meant a lot to me. I’ve never been told something like that aside from Norgie, so it made me feel happy in a dark time.  Thank you both for continuing to be my friends, truly. 

@fantasyacrossworlds​

Awoo! You and I have known each other for a long time, too (most people tagged here I’ve known for 2 - 4 years hujhj)! I’m VERY happy that we’re mutuals again, I’ve truly missed interacting with you! I’m so glad that it seems Orion and Cass are going to have a chaotic friendship that will always end on Orion running to Artemis LMAO. I’m looking forward to more interactions! 

@sanzenxsekai​​ 

I already gave you a super long post explaining how much me and Norgie are thankful for you, so I’ll remind you in a tl;dr version. WE ALL LOVE YOUR STINKY GREMLIN + YOU!! Please keep writing Nobu in 2020! Thank you so much for being such a good friend to me. 

@mcphistcples​

You don’t even realize how much of a positive impact you’ve had on both me and my girlfriend. You’re absolutely hilarious and I’m incredibly happy you chose to start interacting with a disaster like me. As a Dies fan, I fucking love your Rein. You write him fantastically and it’s always fun to see your interactions with BB’s JAlter.  I am looking forward to the dramatic reading of My Immortal: Bear Ass Edition : ) 

@stxrdust-pxper​

We haven’t talked much OOC properly, but we’ve known each other just about the same time as me and Norgie have been dating - so almost 2 years! You’re a pretty cool person, I’m happy you joined my new server because it’s given myself and others a chance to chat with you more. Thank you for all the kindness you’ve given me throughout the time we’ve known each other, I’ve never said it until now, but it truly has stuck with me and helped me become happier.

@bloodsoakedsakura​ / @idoldragos​

There’s actually a lot I’d like to say, some I’ll leave out for now. For starters, thank you for having my back for three years straight. Seriously. You’ve been there for me through a whole lot, honestly surprised you’ve stuck with me for as long as you have.  You’ve stood up for me when the time came for it and I’m honestly so thankful you did. Every time you hop in call with us it’s usually always fun and stupid (in a good way), so thank you for being part of my band of misfits as long as you have Sades. Even though you’re a boomer who didn’t stop me rolling 200 of my Quartz, I forgive you... dontkillmepls

@yuichiroswife​

Speka, you’ve been a great help to me and Norgie a great amount of times as of late. Thank you so much, you’re an incredibly kind person and I’m glad we became friends!!

@muniificus​

I’ve known you for 3 years too I’m 90% certain, it’s insane how long I’ve known a lot of you - it feels like forever but it also feels like time has gone by so quickly! Much like Sades, I’m very thankful you’ve stuck around for as long as you have Icarus. Thank you for putting up with my dumb ass, and ultimately having fun in return! alsoihavethereplyforanastasiadraftedipromise

@fakepriest​

I’ve sent you an ask with a lot of what would’ve been said in here, but I want to let you know that I’m extremely grateful that you’ve kept being my friend to. I enjoy our conversations a lot, especially when we talk about things like Heaven’s Feel because they’re usually always such fun things to talk about. 

Much like the ask I’ve sent you, your Kirei is so scarily accurate it nearly simulates his actual personality flawlessly. That’s how scary good at writing this tofu loving fake priest. I’m so happy it’s you who’s writing him, not to play the pedestal game, but I genuinely can’t see anyone else (not even myself) coming close to how phenomenal your portrayal is.  #kireisquad

@arkdiia​

Though our first conversation first chatting again wasn’t expected, I’m super glad you came back to Tumblr and I’m thrilled to be friends w you again! Hopefully for 2020, you and I /both/ catch a break lmfao.

@saintguine​

Much like Anna, I’ve already told you what I wanted to here in the form of an ask a few hours ago - however, I do wish to say smth that I’m sure a lot of people feel. Regardless of how you think about yourself, you’re a very good person BB and we’re all very blessed to know you. You’re absolutely one of my best friends, and though there was a point where we lost communication for a bit, I’m very grateful our friendship is the exact same. 

We all care u BB, thank u for bein gud to all of us

Kayla & Sere

This post is incredibly long already, luckily I’m just about done -- but I’ve got three people to go starting with you two!

Sere, you’ve heard me vent a lot and you’ve known me (Kayla has known me this long too) for a pretty damn long time if you ask me, 3 years may not seem like a lot to people, but with all the stuff we’ve all gone through these 3 years? It’s been a LOT and I can’t say I’d be the person I am without you hearing my dumb ass vent and creating Cursed Night.  I appreciate all of your icons, thank you for giving us (Hell) special treatment with them. Seriously! While you are a best friend for sure, you’re also practically family to me. Thank you again for everything. 

Kayla, the same of what I said for Sere is said for you. You’re legit like my older sister, you’ve been there for me for just bout the same amount that Norgie has; you’re someone who means a lot to both me and Norgie, so thank you for giving talking to us a chance way back when you were shy (I think that’s what it was!). There have been a lot of ups and downs for all of us, but I’m glad the downs at least had the positive effect of giving me a second family who I love dearly. I actually teared up on this part, so god help me when I write for Norgie.

@letoborn​ / @uwuwrote​

I’m going to save a lot of what I want to say to you for our anniversary in June, but I will say a few things because I love you so very much.

When I met you, I was not expecting you’d turn out to be the woman of my dreams. You’re genuinely my better half, and I have never been as happy as I am than I am with you. You’ve truly had the biggest impact in my life Norgie, you’ve made me laugh, cheered me up when I’m sad, called me out when I was dumb and helped me better myself. 

I’m so incredibly happy I got to spend the rest of the last decade being your boyfriend, and now, going into 2020 - a whole new decade with you. Like I said, you’re my better half - I can’t see myself with anyone else but you. You’re the greatest treasure in my life, I’m so happy we’ve had all this fun with roleplaying.

Thank you so much Norgie, for giving me Orion/Artemiis, all of our other ships - being my soulmate (at least, I think so). I hope 2020 treats us both well, but I’m willing to go through whatever as long as it’s with you.

Now, that’s the end of that -- but I have a few extra things to say.

My 2019 has been...quite possibly the hardest year of my life, at least on the internet. For a very long time, I was fearful of interacting with others - I made mistakes that I wish I could take back, I got put through hell for nothing...man, I don’t wanna go back in and say what happened, what is and isn’t true -- the long story short is, shit happened, but it’s the past now. 

I want to go into 2020 just..as positive as I can be, I’m tired of the drama, I just want to have fun with my friends and my girlfriend you know? So, I’m finally choosing to move on and just...try having fun again. This choice would be impossible without the people mentioned in this post. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you who have stuck around through it all for me. I’m so incredibly thankful to be part of the friendgroup I’m in, to know everyone I’ve met who’s put up with me. I’ve had so many times where I wanted to leave this site, but I wanted to keep trying to write with everyone -- to have fun with everyone. You all have no idea how genuinely happy you’ve all made me, just by writing with my Orion and Norgie’s Artemis. 

Though I couldn’t think of anything to say specifically for the others tagged below here, thank you all for everything as well -- just following me makes me happy. I’m sure I’ve forgotten some people, but trust me, I’m so very happy to know all of you.

@dekirukoto @wisesteyed @lacobscur @akhilleuskcsmcs

[tonyglowheart]

so since I can’t stop obsessing over 无羁 (Wuji) I decided to pop open Microsoft Word and through the power of a random youtube commenter who transcribed it, a working knowledge of heritage Mandarin, and many translation sites, I can now absolutely lose my mind even more over the significance of the lyrics and who sings them.

more under the cut, a lot of it is unorganized emotion-fueled yelling

tumblr is kind of rough for long-form stuff, but I guess I’m just going to braindump:

Note: btw do I finally wised up to the fact that the uhh actual lyrics appear in some Tencent videos (and actually a lot of the verses show up with lyrics in the end themes) and also realized that the transcription I got - which was from a Youtube comment - was... wrong in places. And I ALSO realized “Yunshen” was probably referring to Cloud Recesses lol. And so yeah, I’ve edited it to update it.

first off: LAN ZHAN SINGING ABOUT HOW THE RIGHTS AND WRONGS ARE IN THE PAST, HOW CAN WE PRETEND IT’S A DREAM UPON WAKING? Like this is so sad and filled with like...honestly, righteous bitterness towards the world? but also so practical? This is of particular note because Wei Ying’s corresponding line in the second part/repeat. Just you wait

Wei Ying having the line about how can the [praises, blames, gains & losses] of the mortal world be measured is :( bc like. yeah... it’s so in character it makes me sad as heck. Because like. he’s done So Much for the world, and the world continues to denigrate and belittle and revile him, and it hurts him but ultimately he takes it with like.. a sad resignation. D8 babey,,,

*poetic stuff, poetic stuff, blah blah* (although I will add that the added layer of poetic imagery is the “feng liang” means something like cuttingly cold. “feng” refers to the sharp/cutting edge of a knife/sword, and then “liang” is cold. So it’s the imagery of someone getting cut or stabbed by a cold sword and their hot blood rustling down it (the first part is onomatopoeia)

okay the ZITHER LINE. I guess “wen” could be anything, BUT we know there’s a guqin spell Inquiry, so I’m! going to interpret it as more along that lines! I think the Tencent translation actually has it as “also” but it could be “again” I think? Implying that even when they’re far away from each other and Wei Ying is playing his flute all alone and melancholy, there’s an answering zither sound inquiring on him? (i’m going to take it as his well-being :’) )

Edit: so it turns out the “wen” was incorrectly transcribed in the first version of the lyrics I saw; it’s actually the same “wen” as the flute line, so more of it can also be heard, like the Tencent translation. ...but I Want to Believe....

edit: ALSO HOLD ON A MINUTE. I DIDN’T NOTICE, BUT I SAW A SCREENSHOT THAT SAID SOMETHING ABOUT HIM PLAYING INQUIRY LOOKING FOR WEI YING ONLY TO BE MET BY HOLLOW SILENCE? IS THAT FROM THE NOVEL? IS THAT MISTRANSLATED? OR DID I JUST NOT NOTICE. Guess I’ll have to find out

the last line/duet line: I can...kind of see where the “unrequited love” comes from? This is one of those lines where I wonder if it’s classical Chinese and therefore has layers of meaning that don’t convey through translation engines. I might need to actually search it and see but I’m scared to :’) my last brain cell is on Wuji I can’t deal with a wall of Chinese text right now :”)

so just going by the pinyin and what the translation engines tell me individual parts mean, the first part is something about a petition left open, which I can see as meaning unrequited (or more gently, “the story is not over” lol), but not sure what business Google has coming out of left field with a flat-out UNREQUITED LOVE for 8V bls my heart can only take so much

the last part of that line, NO clue at all, must be some kind of poetic thing... so I just gotta go with their translation and no other layers of understanding

Edit: ChenQing, interestingly, is the name of Wei Wuxian’s flute, and is also in the Chinese title of the series. so I think that first line is open to interpretation, it’s one of the lines I’d love to discuss with someone who knows Chinese and hear what they think.

the second part is mostly poetic imagery. it’s saying like low-laying silvergrass in the moonlight looks like frost (silvergrass being a common grass in parts of Asia. It’s that one with the fluffy fronds). When I googled the Chinese, it returned this specific species: Miscanthus sacchariflorus 

wOw the part about preparing a pot (metaphoric) of all of life & death’s ups and downs to memorialize/offer a sacrifice for a young man? hits me right in the heart and the feels and im going to sob over Wei Ying again

the other line that absolutely makes me lose my mind - and like the one above, it’s one that Wei Ying has a direct counterpart in part two - is Lan Zhan’s line here. Tackling the second part before I lose my mind over the first part, I sort of have an impression that second part is kind of a “go with the flow” (of life?) sort of deal, since to my understanding, it means something like... [traverse through time/through time/over history?][wind and waves]

okay but the part that makes me lose my mind is the “xiaoxiaosasa” part, which is a counterpart to the line sung by Wei later, “tantandangdang.” xiaoxiaosasa means like... in a natural/unrestrained/carefree manner. And at first I was like..Lan Zhan?? xiaosa?? but actually I kind of see it as like.... not a serious suggestion, but an impossible wish? Like this other post I think I where someone talked about them watching Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen wandering off, free of duties and clans, to hunt monsters etc. and I think that’s something that might be an impossible wish in Lan Zhan’s heart of hearts that he wouldn’t ever materialize because his sense of duty is so important to him. But maybe in a world where the two of them - or Lan Wangji especially - isn’t/aren’t bound by clans and sects and sundry, maybe they’re able to take a more carefree approach to life.

and then sharing the melodious song together at the ends of the earth is another one that has all of my ;A; ‘s

aaand here we are on the repeat, where Lan Zhan sings a line first, and Wei Ying has some sweet sweet counterpart lines that extra hit me straight in the heart:

okay so first off, first line. Unless that’s some Classical Chinese idiom, or honestly just flat-out idiom, I’m not sure where “I became lost after facing a dead end” comes from. Anyway.

HERE IT IS. HERE IT IS. okay so remember. the first verse, Wei Ying’s line is about a lonely and melancholy flute, and then Lan Zhan’s line is kind of tinged with a sort of world-weary bitterness but also resignation. But here!! Wei Ying’s line! is like sO magnanimous and accepting. Whatever the turmoils and rights and wrongs of the past, he’s already let it go. Granted I’m seeing this from a “the world wronged him” perspective so I’m like “D8 my generous-hearted boy... oH No my feelings...” Lan Zhan may move on but I think he can’t quite forgive the world for how it treated Wei Ying, but Wei Ying, like he said in the show, is ready to forgive and forget, it’s all in the past, and also I get the vibe of “yeah I’m used to it.” anyway gOD the contrast, and also I’m sad

[the rest of the intervening lines are the same, until]

okay the line is mostly the same, but one translation also gave me “fickle” instead of unpredictable or impermanent, and I feel that mood. It’s saying like “laughing over how fickle worldly matters can be”

aaand then here it is. Wei Ying’s counterpart to Lan Zhan’s carefree/unrestrained. why not go through life with a magnanimous heart. Which! is so in character for Wei Ying and honestly exactly what I think he does, like it HURTS him when ppl make shit So Personal about him which might have mitigating factors, or like... aren’t even his fault. But to some extent, he’s willing to bear it, for the sake of the world. Some of I think is out of misplaced sense of guilt trained into him (like when Madame Yu blamed him for bringing calamity to the Jiang Clan and he just accepts that :’) ) but I do think he’s also got a martyr’s heart.

Anyway, all of this taken together, and with the beautiful melody and the two singers switching lines and also dueting together, a b s o l u t e ly makes me go, as the kids say, feral

thanks for coming to my TED Talk

[spnfanficpond]

October 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting with @evansrogerskitten tonight! Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your wisdom!

Today, we got together and talked about writing smut! We discussed the legalities around sharing smut on the internet, vocabulary choices, created a spreadsheet of terms we can all share and use, and encouraged each other to not be afraid to just write. A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut. Due to the nature of the chat, there may be some parts of this recap that might be considered NSFW. 

To start us off, @mrswhozeewhatsiswrites shared some research into the legalities of posting erotica on the internet as it relates to minors. (We are not legal experts. This information was obtained through Google searches. If anyone can provide links to sources that contradict these, we will add them to this post to ensure the most correct information is provided here.)

Michelle: To try and keep it short and sweet, from everything I read, if a minor reads smut online, it's not the writer's, poster's, or web site's responsibility to keep it from them. It is the parent's, or the school's/library's responsibility. (Basically, whoever is providing the internet connection to the minor is responsible for filtering out content that might be harmful to that minor, not the parties creating or disseminating that content online.) Schools and libraries and other institutions that get government funds are usually required to have some sort of filter in place to prevent minors from accessing porn and erotica. 

What makes this so difficult to research is that written erotica is not mentioned very often in obscenity laws. Most laws focus on images or videos, not the written word. 

No matter what it is, though, to be prosecuted under obscenity laws, the material must first be ruled to be obscene. Legally, there is a difference between obscenity and erotica. Obscenity is generally illegal, and erotica is protected speech. There are many different sets of rules and guidelines that have been used to determine if something is considered obscene or not. The most widely used current set of guidelines is the Miller test. From my research, most (if not all) erotic fan fiction would not be considered obscene because of its ‘literary, artistic, political, or scientific value’.

Some interesting links in relation to this subject that go into detail:

Wikipedia - US Obscenity Law - About halfway down, there is a section on non image-based obscenity cases in the US. The first part of this section, which deals with the written word, is very enlightening about the differences between obscenity and erotica. Further down is a section about criticism of the laws which shows some of the gaps in the law where free speech lives. Continuing on, the section about censorship in schools and libraries explains the part CIPA (Children’s Internet Protection Act) plays in protecting minors from material that could be considered harmful to them.

Online Art Rights - Sexual Content - This site details the many attempts at limiting indecent material on the internet through the years. (Scroll down and click on the plus signs in the black bars to expand each section.) In each case cited, the court ruled that to ban all objectionable material would interfere with free speech because it would reduce all content to a level appropriate for children. They also concluded that since less restrictive means exist, such as user-controlled filters and the like, those tools can be used without reducing all discourse on the internet. The section on Child Pornography at the bottom might be of interest to anyone who writes Weecest smut, though.

The only possible exception that I think would affect the SPN fandom would be those who write Weecest smut. Child pornography seems to be the exception to every rule that protects free speech. Where every other depiction of a sex act might have a ‘but’ that makes it erotica (and therefore legal) instead of obscenity, child pornography in any medium is considered obscenity. Anything that even just looks like child porn is considered child porn, even if no children were a part of the making of it. This includes cartoons and CGI and adults made up to look like kids. If it’s advertised as children in a sexual situation, it’s child porn. So, I imagine it could extend to written erotica IF someone were to decide to push it.

Now, that’s a huge if. Someone would have to read it, object to it, and insist on prosecution for it. I think if that were going to happen, given 15 years of SPN fan fiction, it would have happened by now. But I would still keep my Weecest smut-free, or implied, or at least over the age of consent (which varies, so 18 is just easiest to use). 

Also, AO3 complies with the laws regarding filtering for minors. If you do not have an account, you are required to click through a step that tells you that you are about to view something explicit. That's really all that sites and such are required to do. Hence, Tumblr making you click through and view on dash blogs they mark as explicit.

@emilyshurley I think there might also be a sorta solution just to play it safe. I saw that people who make mods for games like Sims 4 and stuff have a page for terms of download. What that is is that if you click their masterlist it will take you to a post where they list their conditions and have the words "I agree" and link the actual masterlist to that. Now this might take a little effort but we could add something similar before our masterlists.

This is all legal stuff, not site-specific rules. Each site can implement their own decency rules and enforce them how they see fit. For example, Tumblr, as a company, can decide to delete your blog. (They’ve stopped doing this since The Purge, now just marking each blog explicit and making you click on a couple things to get to those blogs they deem explicit.) Should they choose to do this, it does not mean that you’re in trouble with the law.

Now, onto the fun stuff!

Q: What is the first thing you think of when someone asks you for advice about writing smut?

Ash: Word choice- don't make the reader cringe. It's easy to fall into that because smut can be graceful and tasteful if it's done right. And that starts with thinking through word choice and how the scene is flowing. It's not easy to write smut! I think a lot of non-writer readers do not realize that.

Note: During the chat, we created a Google Sheets spreadsheet, with two sheets in it, with lists of words to use to refer to different things when you’re writing smut. The first sheet is Good Words, and the second sheet is Bad Words. Everyone can enter words they like and don’t like on both sheets, and we’ll crowd-source this problem! Check it out and add your favorites!

Michelle: A smut scene takes ten times as long for me to write as anything else. Just keeping track of limbs is difficult! And clothing....sometimes, I just make them dry hump so I don't have to deal with removing all the clothing! Other times, it's just, "Somehow, you suddenly found yourself naked." Like, there's a million great ways to get characters naked, but if I'm tired, angels snap.

@fictionalabyss (Mel): I've read stuff where a position makes no sense and it ruins the whole thing for me. Michelle: I actually bought a couple of those posable dolls from IKEA. (IKEA - GESTALTA, Artist’s figure)  @babypieandwhiskey (Cam): I’ll have to use my daughter’s old Barbie dolls! I can keep track of both limbs and clothing!

Q: Ash, what are a few of the words that turn you off when you're reading smut?

Ash: It's usually words that sound so "romance novel"-ish to me. So "turgid member" is a good example. Please no one ever write that. Mel: Sometimes, keeping it simple is the safest and best bet. Ash: Absolutely, Mel! Sometimes we don't need all the extra words if we're showing the heat that's already there between them. 

[What followed was a long discussion of various terms you definitely should not use in serious smut. They’ve all been added to the spreadsheet linked above, so fee free to check it out.]

Michelle: EVERYONE has those words that squick them, and it's damn near impossible to write a smut scene that doesn't include a word that will squick someone out there. So, don't stress about what words you do or don't use, cuz there's always gonna be someone out there who doesn't like something. Just make sure YOU think what you're writing is hot. If you don't get warm under the collar from it, no one else will, either. Ash: I highly recommend everyone is reading their fics out loud to see how it all flows. You'll catch errors and weird words there too.

Q: Ash, how do you get in the frame of mind to write something you personally have never experienced? For example, certain kinks.

Ash: Whiskey? LOL No, I do a lot of research- google, porn, erotica. Trying something out in person helps too! But we're writing fiction. You can make a kink work for your scenario too.I mean, I've written a reader squirting after 5 minutes to move things along but we all know it takes longer usually. And that's the fun! I've never actually been with 2 dudes but I f-ing love writing it. @atc74 (Angelina): I've always said I don't need to kill someone to write a murder scene. Ash: Smut is all about having an open mind. It lets us and the readers be someone else. 

Question submitted earlier by @erins-culinary-service: I've wanted to try writing smut but never known exactly how to start and what words to use to describe everything. I've had sex so I know the sensations, positions, etc I'm just not sure how to write it all down any advice?

Ash: So sometimes I can't just start from "they kissed..." I start wherever I can see it best. So is it oral sex, or already doing it, I just jump in. And then I come back and fill it in. And I just write, no stopping once I get going. So the "cock into her hole" can be fixed later on my next edit. I just gotta get the idea out and then go back and make it hot. My smut is never hot in my first draft.  Michelle: I think that's what stops a lot of writers, is thinking they have to publish their first draft. Editing is totally a thing. Just get the ideas on paper, and then make them hot later. Ash: Oh yeah, I go through at least 3 drafts per fic. Plus my beta version. Yeah, no one is ever going to see your drafts so don't worry about starting somewhere, anywhere.  Michelle: And remember, practice practice practice - As with any writing, the more you write it, the easier it becomes. I wrote Third Wheel as a way to challenge myself with writing smut. Do a kink bingo or alphabet challenge. Just remember, you’re gonna write crap at the start, but crap makes good compost. Ash: Taking some time between edits is important too. It'll help you see different ways, AND you'll start having breakthroughs during the time away. Bingos are a great challenge that will help a writer grow.  Cam: Writing smut is like sex, you're first time is going to be awkward and things won't be perfect, but with practice it gets better. Mel: I have a series that shows even the millionth time having sex isn't perfect and can be all laughs 🤣. But yeah.

Question submitted earlier by @focusonspn: i wanted to know about ways and words to describe orgasms and how to approach the moment after it without being awkward or forced. some people say those are the easiest things to write, but somehow i always have a hard moment trying to write them.

Ash: Hmmmm, as for the moments after- that's understandable, it is hard because its a transition. I think it's doesn't have to be an extended part of it- unless they're about to have a talk or aftercare needs a scene, it can be as simple as "we drifted off to sleep." Michelle: As always, my advice is to read smut that other people write that you like, and take note of what they do. Mel: Someone can get up and get dressed and leave. They can play in the fluids. They can lay there catching their breaths for a moment. It can be simple. Sometimes it doesn't need a flourish and that flourish can make it seem forced. Michelle: I think it depends on what type of smut fic you're writing. Is it fluffy smut where they're all in LOVE and kissy and stuff? Or is it Soulless Sam and Demon Dean just getting down and dirty and claiming you for themselves? Or, Soulless Sam or Demon Dean just getting their rocks off and they don't give a shit? @emilyshurley (Emily): Also this might be my f*cked up brain but I think if someone is not comfortable with a lot of fluffy buildup to smut trying soulless!Sam or Demon!Dean could be a great start. You also have a little room to do a little out of character.  Michelle: We are blessed with a world that includes all types of characters and all types of situations, from curses (sex pollen, love potions, etc) to supernatural beings, to inspire and give us chances to write all kinds of smut. There are no limits to what you can do in Supernatural, so there are no limits to what we can write.  Ash: Yeah we can really make most kinks work in some way in the SPN worlds.  Emily: Also again with going out of character I read a captain America fic where it could have been a little out of character how he jumped straight to sex (someone commented that) but sex pollen made it work. So basically these tropes/kinks can also be good devices for writing NSFW fics to if you struggle to get the characters write in the beginning.

Other links mentioned:

Emily: I saw this advice list on Tumblr, so thought I should share it: List of Smut Writing Guides

Ash: This one, too: @smut-101′s Smut Tips Masterlist 

And last, but definitely not least...

Ash: Always, always, always write for you. Readers come and go but you have to be satisfied and proud of what you've written. And everyone should get so much credit for trying to write smut. It's difficult but its does get easier and more fun with practice!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to September’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We don’t have a topic or speaker set up for November’s event, yet, so if there’s something you want to talk about, or someone you want to talk to, LET US KNOW!