Pst! Might be a fun lil challenge if you ever want to work on something like this....
Mike Schmidt adopts a stray cat but it's from the cats point of view.
Okay this one got me LMFAO. I won’t necessarily call this a “oneshot,” but I had to write something with this iconic request. Thank you so much for this anon, it made my day.
『••✎••』
You were a small thing, grey and white, with long fur and eyes that were almost unnaturally large. You sat there quietly, watching the people in the shelter walk past and occasionally licking your paw and brushing it against your face. You were not like the other cats, who were loud and energetic and climbed on everything. You were reserved and seemed almost disinterested.
That is until your eye caught Mike.
Then you sat up and watched him, not making a noise but staring at him. And when Mike stared back, you looked away, and then you looked back, and the look of pure joy spread across your little face...
"She likes you," the girl said.
"Yeah, sure," he replied, looking at the girl, who was beaming. "I'm not taking her.”
He took you home that night.
Mike set down the cat bed, the toys, and the food and then stared at the cat carrier for a moment before opening it. He heard you sniffing and meowing, and then your face poked out, and you looked around curiously.
Soon, you were out of the cage, walking around his apartment. Abby had grown a fondness for you and was currently chasing you around the living room, trying to get you to play. She had already caught you several times and was just playing with you now.
Mike wasn’t special enough to get that treatment. You were an asshole, a menace, and a demon. You peed in his shoes, stole his food, and once bit his arm for no reason.
He hated you.
You were curled up on his chest, purring as he read the newspaper. He was ignoring you and trying to get his mind off the fact that you were on him when you decided that he was going to pay attention to you.
Your paw found his cheek, smacking it lightly.
"What?" he said, lowering the paper.
"Mraow," You said, only looking up at him for a moment.
"What?"
Your paw hit his face again. When he ignored you for the second time, you decided to go in with claws. You didn’t scratch his face, but his paper now had holes in it, and a few lines of ink were smudged.
"Hey! Bad cat!"
He moved to set you on the couch, but you didn’t let go. He ended up holding you as you screamed in his face, clawing at his shirt.
"You little asshole," he grumbled, setting you down and getting up. You followed him, crying loudly. He didn't have any intention of feeding you, but he wanted you to shut up.
"Meow meow!" you shouted.
"Yes, yes, I'm getting it," he said, filling your food bowl. "Now eat it."
You did not eat it. Instead, you looked up at him and cried louder.
"Oh, I'm sorry, do you want to starve? Because that can be arranged."
He went back to reading his paper, trying his hardest to ignore you.
It didn't work. You sat by his foot, screaming until he picked you up and put you on his lap. He was going to keep his hands busy by petting you, but that didn't work because as soon as he stopped, you would start screaming again.
He had no idea that cats were so demanding. But then again, he'd never owned a cat. He had no idea what to expect.
He wondered why he had ever adopted you.
He didn't have to wonder long.
As soon as he was done giving you attention, you got off him and sat down next to him. Mike looked down, and you looked up, and then you put your paw on his leg and started kneading his pants, making small noises.
You were so happy and content, and it was obvious.
"You are an asshole," he said. "But at least you're an adorable asshole."
You have a content little purr and laid down next to him. Sure, Abby might be the one who appreciated you more and the one who wanted to play, but Mike was the one you had chosen.
And you were never going to leave him. No matter how many times he seriously considered sending you back to the shelter,
You were never letting him go. And, despite what he says, he was never letting you go, either.
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