#WEARING OFF IN 4-5 HOURS WHICH IS TYPICAL FOR ME AND MY HEART RATE WAS LOW *WHEN I WOKE UP* 6 HOURS LATER

[halfd3af]

can Dr. House please be real and diagnose me, I’ll let him call me slurs if it means he figures out what’s wrong with me

[theparanormalperiodical]

Top 10 Controversial Horror Films That Are Famous For All The Wrong Reasons *gags* *cries*

At the beating heart of horror is offence.

From that undeniable sense of something not being quite right, to the CGI-blood-spurtin’-adrenaline-fuelled scenes that leave us shaking in our boots, horror pivots on the knife edge of controversy.

It’s used to drive plots. It’s used to drive hype. And at the end of the month, it drives studio executives to the bank.

Horror films can be traumatic enough. But there are some films that bear the cross of controversy more than others. There are some films that have been branded as so damaging to their potential viewers that merely circulating copies of the film is illegal.

And yet their infamy has forged cult viewership. What was once shielded from us has now become ‘must see’.

Today we are going to be counting down horror’s most controversial films and what made them quite so topical.

*I’m going to star the ones that you can actually watch without getting traumatised. Some are controversial not because of their content but because some religious or political groups disagreed with them*

#10 - The Blair Witch Project (1999)*

Let’s ease in with a classic - a classic you can watch without sleeping with the light on.

In this found-footage flick we see a team of film students as they explore a local urban legend. But what they find leads them to unknown and ungodly territory.

The problem with this film is that it was marketed as a true story. No, not based on a true story, a true story. Yep, they claimed what we were seeing was real, found footage of some teens going mad as they forage deeper into mysterious woods.

IMBd went so far as to report that the actors were dead. Then, the movie studio super-charged their efforts to confirm to the public that not only was this film 100% real, the three main actors were still missing. The parents of the actors then started receiving sympathy cards.

There’s even a mocked up website that perpetuates these claims. 

#9 - Night Of The Living Dead (1968)*

Time for another not-too-disturbing film.

This is the original zombie apocalypse film saw a group of Americans attempt to survive an incoming attack of the undead while trapped in a rural farmhouse.

But the Motion Picture Association of America wasn’t too happy about it. The film rating system was yet to be in place, allowing children to also show up for an afternoon screening and be greeted by a 97 minute montage of extreme violence.

“The kids in the audience were stunned. There was almost complete silence. The movie had stopped being delightfully scary about halfway through, and had become unexpectedly terrifying. There was a little girl across the aisle from me, maybe nine years old, who was sitting very still in her seat and crying”

#8 - Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

In this psychological film, we watch a random crime spree take place at the hands of a couple serial killers. Loosely based on real murderers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole, its controversial reputation was founded on the gore ‘n’ guts screened in the movie.

Whilst it didn’t receive much attention from the public, various classification boards across the world ensured new versions edited with certain scenes - often involving sexual assault and necrophilia - removed for viewers.

In 2003, the BBFC (the UK classification board) finally allowed the uncut version to be released and Australia followed suit in 2005.

#7 - I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

It’s the original rape-revenge flick. And it managed to piss everyone off.

Originally titled Day of the Woman, it tells the story of a fiction writer who exacts revenge on a group of four men who gang rape her.

Despite its pro-women claim-to-fame, the 30 minute rape scene begs to differ. Furious debate surrounds its feminist label as a film that forces the audience to endure rape from a female perspective and long-winded violence against men (something which is often reserved for women in horror). Regardless, the graphic violence earned it a steady ban in Ireland, Norway, Iceland, and West Germany.

#6 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)*

You don’t get many controversial Christmas films. They typically stick to a cookie-cutter plot ‘n’ purpose every holiday season. But there are no strong women who need to rediscover the meaning of Christmas here.

Instead, we see a child traumatised by seeing his parents murdered on Christmas Eve go on a seasonal rampage as an adult.

A week after its release in the early 80s, it was pulled from theatres due to backlash. Marketing was focused on a Santa Claus killer with adverts often airing during family-friendly TV programmes and meant numerous children developed a phobia of Father Christmas. Large crowds protested cinemas with one notable protest involving angry families singing carols at the Interboro Quad Theater in The Bronx.

It was only in 2009 - 25 years after its original release - that a DVD of the film was first made available for purchase in the UK.

#5 - Psycho (1960)*

This legendary film follows the disappearance of a young woman after her encounter with a strange man called Norman Bates, one of horror’s most iconic figures. The controversy that would engulf this fim lay not in the violent attack on an innocent woman or even the disturbing content of the film.

Oh, no. It was because of what the leading lady was wearing.

In the opening scene of the film, we see Janet Leigh wearing nothing but a bra.

*gasp*

This racy attire was emblazoned across promotional material, meeting Hitchcock’s high standards of creating controversy around the movie. There was a no late admission policy for movie theaters, and the posters told viewers “Do not reveal the surprises!” to maintain a mysterious aura around the plot twist.

#4 - The Human Centipede (2009) (all of ‘em)

I’ve watched a lot of horror films, in case you couldn’t tell.

I’m used to watching a scary movie, shaking off the anxiety, and moving on with my life. But there are some that stayed with me. I only watched the trailer for the first movie, and it legitimately traumatised me. It gave me quite a severe, sudden bout of a depression for a solid month when I was 13.

Throughout horror’s goriest franchise, we see an evil doctor and amateur mad scientist attempt to sow several people together into a centipede-like chain from mouth to anus.

*retches*

At the heart of promoting the franchise was controversy. Tom Six, the director, forced a narrative that claimed from the first film that this was "100% medically accurate". He even alleged a Dutch doctor helped inspire the film, confirming that with an IV drip, this was entirely possible.

Although it didn’t receive furore that amounted to serious censorship or long-term banning, it was infamous for having its viewers vomiting in the cinema aisles.

The second film, however, was subject to much more severe controversy and could not legally be supplied in the UK until 2011 due to its heavy focus on sexual abuse, more graphic violence than the original film, and it’s pretty vile depiction of a murderer that was intellectually disabled.

Audiences were used to the graphic nature of the franchise by the third and final release. As the least-controversial and least-enjoyable film according to critics, it barely made a dent in the horror community.

Good riddance, I guess?

#3 - Faces Of Death (1978)

I’m not sure I’d recommend this one per se - but I will give it credit for being an interesting project.

This documentary-style film is a montage of footage of people dying in different ways. As a result of its very graphic and very real content, it was banned and censored in many countries. Only in 2003 was it released on DVD in the UK after a scene was cut featuring dogs fighting and a monkey being beaten to death.

Germany, Australia, and New Zealand followed suit, reversing their bans and releasing edited versions.

However, 7 years after its release, the media revamped its interest in the film after a maths teacher showed it to his class at a Californian high school. Two of his students claimed they were so traumatised they received a costly settlement to reimburse their emotional distress. Things took a darker turn a year later, when a 14 year old bludgeoned a classmate to death with a baseball bat; he claimed he wanted to see what it would be like to actually kill someone after watching Faces of Death.

#2 - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

This Italian film’s title alone hints towards two frightening things: flesh-eating humans and genocide. In this found-footage movie we see an anthropologist lead a rescue team into the Amazon rainforest to find a group of filmmakers that went missing.

The rampant graphic content including sexual assault and animal cruelty showcased in the film (7 animals were killed during filming in some pretty horrific ways) led to it being banned in 50 countries.

Some also alleged that a handful of deaths seen in the film were real, as were the missing film crew. In fact, the actors portraying the documentarians signed contracts that stopped them appearing in motion pictures for an entire year to maintain the illusion of reality.

And only 10 days after its premiere, the director was charged with obscenity and the film confiscated. All copies were to be turned over to the authorities. There are currently a range of versions that have been edited to varying degrees and are allowed for circulation.

#1 - A Serbian Film (2010)

No.

Nope.

Don’t do it. Don’t watch this film.

A Serbian Film follows a retired porn star who agrees to feature in an “art film” for some cash. Little does he know this film will include rape, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia…

Just don’t watch it.

It is still banned in South Korea, New Zealand, Australia. It is supposedly a parody of politically correct films made in Serbia that are funded by foreign groups and allegedly speaks openly about post-war society and the struggle for survival.

*shakes head*

Off to have a 3 hour shower, brb.

If you, uhhh, liked this post please like and reblog.

And if you want to hear more about horror and the supernatural every week hit follow!

[peppersonironi]

Duke Thomas/The Signal Fic Recs

This is for @capttain-emo who saw me reblog this wonderful rec list by @stories-from-the-batcave , and asked if I knew any more. (I highly recommend those, btw, I love all the fics on that list! Yes, that includes the one I wrote in there) Duke Thomas is my favorite Batfam member, so I have a bunch! Unfortunately, there isn’t as much Duke content out there as I’d hope - people just don’t seem to like him as much for some reason? It’s sad. So, there are gonna be a couple here written by me. Rest assured, I have way more Duke content on the way - including a WIP coming out this week! (Ao3 linked out at the top of my blog)

I love recommending Fics, so hit me up in my inbox if there’s a trope or character or relationship (platonic or not) that you’d really love to read! I also write fan fiction, and my requests are always open!

1. Siblings: The Truth of the Matter by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & his siblings

Duke had a strange family. Two of his siblings had been raised from birth to be assassins. One was born in a circus. One had been a crime lord for a time. Yet another was the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company by the age of seventeen. All of them dressed up in spandex every night to punch bad guys.

So when he was woken up by icy water being splashed in his face, tied to a chair in nothing but his boxers, he wasn't surprised. Now, that's not to say he wasn't worried. Duke was definitely worried. Especially since it was these two.

AKA Duke gets tied up and questioned by his siblings, all while drugged with Truth Serum!

2. Bliss by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

Duke walks in on a sleeping assassin child in need of comfort, and takes a chance. Brotherly bonding ensues!

3. An ever growing family of birds and bats by alicecrow6

Rating: General Audiences/Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

a series of Batkids Age Reversal fics where Damian comes first, then Harper, then Duke and so on.

4. look at me, all the things I can do by Aelig  

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Bruce

"Duke took a bite of his toast, gaze still on Bruce. His foster father was sipping at his coffee, eyebrows frowning. To an outsider, you would think he was reading the morning news on his tablet, like always; Duke knew better. Bruce's look was a little away from the screen, his lips downward.

It was almost funny, to watch Bruce internally panic."

OR: It's the morning, and Duke is going back to school for the first time since his injury.

5. The Batchair(s) Issue by NightFlier

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen w/ background ships Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Steph, Steph/Cass Trio & Batfam

Duke Thomas feels like an outsider, and not just because he's part of the new Outsiders team roster. He's the newest member of the legendary Batclan and hasn't yet formed the close bonds that the others share. Not to mention, he's the only active Meta on the team. As if it wasn't hard enough to relate with people with such colorful, unique backgrounds.

But it's okay! Duke has a plan and it'll probably work for a while before crashing & burning. BatShenanigans ahead.

6. All That Glitters is Gold (Unfortunately) by IndefiniteIceCube

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Tim, Duke & Steph

The world is gold and Duke can't breathe.

He can't breathe.

He was sitting in AP World History just a minute ago.

Was it a minute ago? It seemed like a minute ago but it could have been hours because all he can focus on is that he can’t breathe. His lungs won’t fill and- and he’s trying he swears but he just. can’t. breathe.

And the gold—

-----

Duke's powers emerge.

It doesn't go well.

7. Be the Light that Helps Others See by Ace_Corvid @ace-corvid

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

Duke didn't really know what to expect from movie nights with the Bats.

He could only assume they approached this with the same determined intensity as they approached everything else. They were all so extra it was like their gauge for normal was completely broke. He wasn't really prepared for this.

And yet here he was. Surrounded.

(Alternatively; Batkid's have a movie night.)

8. I've Made a Million Mistakes by Sohotthateveryonedied

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

“Don’t worry,” Dick says, throwing his arm around Duke’s shoulders. “Everyone in this room has had their teeth knocked out at one point or another. It’s a rite of passage around here.”

“I don’t know how to tell you thith, but that doethn’t happen to normal people. We acthually prefer to keep our teeth, believe it or not.”

“Wait until you get your first major battle scar. Trust me, they’re cool.”

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

9. Children (All of Them) by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

In which Tim is not stupid but Jason might just be, Damian is furious, Dick kind of feels like he should be doing…something, Steph is ecstatic, and Duke wonders how long he can survive.

10. In the Dark of the Night by Aelig

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason, Batfam

"Duke was woken up by someone sliding into his bed. Someone big judging by how the mattress shifted.

Because Duke was a well-trained vigilante, his first reflex was obviously to kick whoever was being creepy right now and push them out of his bed.

It was only when the someone landed on the floor with a yelp that Duke realized that he was at Wayne Manor, which was incredibly secure – normally. He could recognize the voice, too."

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: none

OR: The Batfam and their way to deal with nightmares.

11. Welcome to the Family by angstyelephant

In which Duke Thomas goes back to the beginning.

12. Family-- by incorrectbatfam

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & batfam

“Your assignment over the weekend is to write a poem about your family.”

13. I'm Still Climbing(Even When the Rest Have Fallen) by anidear

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick, Duke & Damian

After his first exposure to the Fear Toxin, Dick checks in on Duke.

14. The cat and the newcomer by Fleur_de_Violette

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Alfred the Cat

Duke always found people talking to their pets about their problems silly. And yet here he was.

15. Duke-napped by NightOwl1600

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & batfam

The others don’t really bother Duke with his business. They all care about him, he knows, but outside of the vigilante business, they don’t really care to ask aside from the typical “How was school?” or “Can you buy me some chilidogs after you’re done with whatever you’re doing?” So he’s a bit concerned if they’ll even notice when he’s been kidnapped as Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne’s newest ward. But he’s not about to panic; as the others seem to be so determined that traumatizing new experiences are part of Bat-initiation.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family freaks out because “Did anyone go over the do’s and don’ts of getting kidnapped with Duke?!”

16. Nightmare/Hallucination by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason

Duke found himself staring at the ceiling again. His heart was no longer racing, but he wouldn’t exactly say that he was calm either. This is the moment after the end of a race you lost, when all of the adrenaline is starting to wear off and the hopelessness sets in. That’s it. You’re out of the competition, buddy.

Except that this isn’t a race, and Duke hasn’t just lost his spot for the finals. He had simply lost sleep.

17. Jason Todd, Big Brother Part 8792 by Gemini_00

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Jason, Duke & Damian

Robin and the Signal sneak along the Outlaws mission in order to steal a bazooka and hang out with Kori. Jason has to deal with two little brothers and feeding a team of outlaws. He's putting this on Bruce's credit

18. "What's wrong? What's happening?" By FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Tim

Duke runs into trouble during his daytime patrol, and ends up needing some back up. The resident over-productive insomniac bat picks up the call.

(A little bit of and Duke interaction for a nice tumblr Anon :) I hope you like it!)

19. Nightmares by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Dick

Filling the nightmare square on my bingo card with the help of an anon on tumblr who asked for a fic where Duke has a nightmare and asks for the help of one of the older batboys!

"Duke checked the time again. Two minutes had passed.

Time was ticking too slowly. He was tired, but sitting alone in the dark was definitely not a good idea right now.

He’d have to ask for help."

20. Brothers in Arms by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

...possibly against each other. Batkid prank wars are the worst.

Duke is learning. Tim is evil. So is Damian. Dick is embarrassing. Jason is dramatic. Steph is brave. Babs is all-knowing. Cass wants in. Alfred is a little amused, and Bruce is so. Tired.

21. First rule of Robin, right? By ALzzza

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian,Duke & Dick

"Nothing’s going to hurt you—you got that, nothing.”

Duke doesn’t have anything better to do but it’s not like that matters. Hell, he’d drop everything and run—always in time to catch this little bird.

Or, Damian’s Been Having Nightmares, Duke To The Rescue—Dick Always With The Reassurance

22. Duke's Diary by fiery_day

 Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Dick

This is a couple of journal entries by Duke as he learns to become Signal. He relates his thoughts on the batfamily and aspects of the vigilante life he now leads.

23. Significance of a Gala by nxttime

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Jason, Duke & Tim

This year’s Wayne Gala would be Duke’s first, and he had no clue how to feel about it.

 25. The cloud that looks after each other by Batmango

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Goliath

Duke wakes up the Bat cave after a fight with the Joker.

For MashpotatoeQueen5 as a thanks for using so many of my prompt in the excellent January Jot-Downs.

Prompt: a hurt comfort after an injury/illness? Or just cuddles. I love me some cuddles.

26. The One You’ll Know By by Redrikki

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Bruce & Alfred

After losing his memory, Bruce asked Alfred not to tell him about his vigilante life, but he's beginning to think his butler left a few other things out. Like, say, his kids.

27. Duke Thomas Hates Bullies by Gemini_00

Rating: Unrated Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Steph, Duke & Tim, Duke & Bruce, Duke & Damian

Everyone loves that Duke Thomas isn't like all those other crazy Waynes. Everyone loves that the Signal isn't trying to get himself killed. Duke may not see Bruce as his dad, but he is definitely part of the bat family. and nobody is going to bully his family. Or, Duke Thomas Kicks Ass.

28. batman is dancing to fortnight and this might as well happen because vigilante life is already so *Goddamn* weird (Duke Thomas: A Memoir) by MashpotatoeQueen5

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

You may not have time to unpack all that, but Duke Thomas does.

(He doesn't get it either.)

(He loves his new crazy family nonetheless.)

29. In a World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Kind by RedHoodie1723

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

Day Six of Batfam Week 2020: Take Your Child To Work Day

It was Duke's first time visiting Wayne Enterprises, and he couldn't help but be intrigued by the Martha Wayne Foundation.

30. You’re My Brother by blackpercy

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick

Duke's missing his parents a lot and Dick comes in to help his little brother.

And that’s it for the list! I hope you enjoy these thirty works! Once again, send me an ask if you have requests for fics, recs, or if you have general questions!

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 5

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - Expert

The subsequent calm was something Lin Yan wasn't expecting. The thing seemed to have decided it tortured him enough and nothing else happened the rest of the night. Lin Yan changed back into his clothes and unplugged his computer. Even though he knew that that probably wouldn't do anything, the screen actually powered off and didn't come back on at all in the night.

Perhaps a new storm was brewing in the silence, but Lin Yan was too exhausted to worry about it. The alcohol that was left in his system worked as a great tranquillizer, and he rolled over and fell asleep.

While he was deep in sleep, something cold pressed itself on his lips again, but Lin Yan was too much a heavy sleeper to realize it.

When he woke up, the entire room was clean. All the red paint had disappeared, the light gray printed wallpaper and the screen wall painted by the students of the Academy of Fine Arts were intact, and the glass was spotless. There was no other evidence to prove that the absurdity of last night had ever happened except for the shameful traces of liquid on Lin Yan's body and clothes. He took a bath and threw the red clothes into the washbowl. Compared with the power of the invisible thing, he was clearly at a disadvantage. Instead of running around without a plan, it was better to observe what happens as things unravel.

After he finished packing things up, Lin Yan took out his phone and texted Yin Zhou about the meeting place. Unexpectedly, he got a reply almost instantly: See you at the school gate in half an hour.

Lin Yan looked at himself in the mirror. Within just two nights, he looked like he had been doing drugs for years, he had a scruffy stubble growing, and his eyes were red. The mint scent of his shaving foam made Lin Yan feel for the first time that his typically monotonous life was actually so much more beautiful than that. The blade was thin and sharp. Just one long stroke across his neck and there would be nothing left.

Humans were such fragile creatures.

"Shit. . ." Lin Yan hissed, sighing at his unfortunate luck and put his fingers under the water. His hand had slipped and he sliced his fingertip on the blade, red blood seeping out. Lin Yan wrapped a bandaid around his finger, leaning against the wall and pondering about how unlucky it was to feel the pain.

He didn't know what kind of dye was used on the funeral clothes, but it had bled dramatically in the water. After a while, the whole basin of water had been dyed red. Lin Yan glanced at it in disgust as he left and slammed the door shut.

At 8 o'clock, Lin Yan saw Yin Zhou holding a Scallion pancake and some fruit in front of the school gate.

The two of them regretted trying to drive. The roads were clogged with morning rush hour traffic to the point that they couldn't even see the end of the lines of cars. What genius designed this kind of urban roundabout? Five ring roads surrounded the main road and they were forced to convene together every morning and night.

Lin Yan and Yin Zhou were nearing the third ring road and they still didn't have any temper, so all they could do was turn on the radio and eat the breakfast that Yin Zhou brought.

"A 13-year-old boy from a remote village in Sichuan was found hanged at home wearing a red coat. The locals suspected it was most likely cult-related. It is reported that the boy's time of birth and time of death are both extremely negative times and very suitable for. . ."

Lin Yan snapped the radio off.

It seemed that everything in the world had been messed up overnight. Even this kind of unreliable news could be relayed to the public.

Yin Zhou didn't care. He swallowed the last bite of his pancake and hiccuped. He said with satisfaction: "I spent the rest of the night in the library. I was starving and I couldn't buy anything. It's great to feel full."

"There was no exam recently, what were you doing at the library?"

"I was studying the enemy's intelligence. This enemy works in the dark. Can we defeat it if we understand how it operates? What do you think, buddy?"

Lin Yan turned his face to look at the crowded traffic outside the window. He stayed silent for a while before he said softly, "Do you really believe that there are ghosts in this world? I feel like something is wrong with me. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist first."

Yin Zhou's eyes widened in surprise: "Come on, even if something's up with you, I'm totally normal, yet we both saw those clothes yesterday."

". . . At your house the day before yesterday, I was the only one who thought it was cold, and I was the only one who could feel ‘it’ in the house."

Lin Yan sorted out his thoughts and told Yin Zhou his experience of being choked by someone last night.

Lin Yan wasn't expecting it but Yin Zhou exploded after hearing this, and blurted out: "Fuck, that ghost was a rabbit master* during his lifetime?" He scanned Lin Yan's face over and over again: "Little Brother Lin, don't tell me. . . you can be considered a nice-looking guy if you look closely. He's dead and maybe he's lonely and wants to recruit you as his wife."

*because they would kill the rabbit by snapping its neck

"Fuck you. If you aren't going to be serious, get out of my car and leave. Don't forget to burn two boxes of condoms for me when I croak." Lin Yan said quietly. The car behind him honked its horn twice, and Lin Yan realized that while he was talking, a 5-6 metre gap had cleared in front of him. He hurriedly followed the line of traffic.

"Furthermore, in the middle of the night, I obviously saw that the whole house was covered with red paint, but in the morning there was nothing. It was as if I had been dreaming."

Yin Zhou dragged the backpack out of the back seat and hugged it in his arms. He said, "Hey, let me show you the results of my brother's research." As he talked, he opened his bag and took out a dozen crumpled papers from it and spread them out on his knees. He flattened them with his hands and started going over them from top to bottom.

"You can't take care of shit. I feel uncomfortable just looking at those."

"See, the attributes of a wife. This ghost saw it perfectly."

A grass mud horse roared and ran across Lin Yan's heart.

Sure enough, these geeks are something else.

"Listen carefully." Yin Zhou pushed up his glasses with his long fingers: "There are generally two modern interpretations of ghosts. The first is due to the discovery of dark matter. You know the law of conservation of energy?"

". . . Go on." Lin Yan gave him a blank look.

"The universe expands at a certain rate every year. If the law of conservation of energy goes as normal, where does the energy that supports the expansion of the universe come from? According to this question, modern physics puts forward the concept of dark matter and dark energy. It does not generate electromagnetic waves, cannot be sensed, and cannot be measured. The law of gravity estimates that dark matter and energy account for 96% of the mass of the universe, and the remaining 4% is what humans can now recognize."

"Many unexplainable phenomena are therefore attributed to the results of dark matter, such as meridians in traditional Chinese medicine, the power of the mind, and ghosts. There are many discussions on this field abroad, but it is obviously blocked in China and difficult to find." Yin Zhou spread out his hands.

Lin Yan nodded. This was a bit like a science fiction novel he had read once.

"And the second one?"

"The second type is attributed to electromagnetic waves. The environment in which the deceased died is not conducive to electromagnetic wave attenuation. The powerful thoughts it had before death form a unique energy field. If a person's own frequency is similar to it, it will resonate when they come into contact. The waveform of the original ghost is greatly strengthened so then the two can sense each other."

Lin Yan was stunned: "You mean I. . . resonate with the ghost?"

Yin Zhou said indifferently that it was possible. He turned and smiled mysteriously: "Do you know how to explain love at first sight using electromagnetic fields?"

Lin Yan's heart stuttered.

"It's just resonating. It's the same with both men and women."

Yin Zhou sighed: "I don't want to fall in love for a while. It's boring, it's like a ghost."

The cars finally started moving again, and they finally got off the third road ring after being stuck for three hours. Lin Yan turned on the navigation and stepped on the accelerator to hurry towards the destination.

He always thinks that love was just like a ghost; he didn't believe in either. He only understood the panic and anxiety he felt when he encountered it, but he has never imagined that ghosts were also like love, triggered by a specific reason in a specific environment and dragged forcibly into the abyss, unable to escape.

"Have you been in touch with anything special recently, or have you been to anywhere special?"

Lin Yan thought about it for a moment and shook his head: "No. Every day I'm in the study room, tutor's office, library, home, cafeteria, there's nowhere else. But I have come into a lot of contact with lots of things from several dynasties."

Yin Zhou clumped the pile of information in his hand, and put it into back his backpack despite Lin Yan's contemptuous eyes, and clicked the buckle shut.

"Impossible. The electromagnetic waves would have decayed early in a small object, even if the Maoshan technique was used."

A thought suddenly flashed through Lin Yan's mind.

"There was this one place. . .Last month, my old man arranged an internship position for me on an archaeological team. It was a tomb with small specifications. I was there for less than a week."

Yin Zhou's eyes lit up all of a sudden: "There's this show, we should wait and check it. . . what the fuck!"

Lin Yan slammed on the brakes. Yin Zhou's head slammed into the windshield with a bang, and he wailed in pain.

"What are you doing?! Braking like that is going to kill you. What if we got rear-ended?!"

Lin Yan looked at the empty windshield in shock. He pulled the car over and, when he turned to Yin Zhou, his face changed.

"You. . . didn't see that just now?"

"What!" Yin Zhou took off the glasses that had been knocked off-kilter, trying to push them into their original spot, and couldn't help complaining in grief.

"There was a hand. . . stretching down from the roof of the car."

Yin Zhou was stunned and looked up at the window glass cautiously. A truck came up from behind, went around their car and drove on.

Lin Yan was too scared to speak for a while. He recalled the stiff white hand that had slapped on the windshield from the roof of the car just now, but it disappeared in a blink of an eye. There were speeding trucks or tankers everywhere on the sixth ring road. He opened his mouth and looked at Yin Zhou. The other party understood his thoughts immediately. Yin Zhou took a breath and hesitated: "Then this thing. . . it wants a human life."

Lin Yan shook his head. He always felt that there was some motive behind everything that had happened, but he couldn't say it out loud.

They drove out of the city in a blink of an eye. The endless rows of poplar trees and the green border fields in the suburbs relaxed the tension of the two people in the car a lot. Lin Yan rolled down the car window, and the car air mixed with the fragrance of flowers and plants that poured in. Inside the car, the stuffy scent of the pancakes was blown away.

After the twist and turns the GPS took them on, the car turned onto a rugged path paved with stones. The surrounding buildings were replaced with independent bungalows and small farmyards. A yellow dog squatted on the steps and stretched its neck. Some hens gathered in groups lazily together. Every now and again, they passed by a white goose on the side of the road. Lin Yan slowed down and stared at the map displayed on the GPS. He glanced at Yin Zhou distrustfully.

"If I keep going, I'll have to turn around to go back to the village. Did your mother send us to a reclusive expert?"

Yin Zhou leaned over to study the map, then turned his head in confusion and looked out the window. He happened to pass by a house, a yellow mud bungalow, with a faded couplet on the door. The old man in front of it only lost two front teeth, and he was leaning back to watch the excitement. . Yin Zhou scratched his scalp suspiciously: "The address my mother gave is at the end of the village, and she said it was amazing. Let me buy some tributes to bring with me. I can't do it alone."

So Lin Yan stopped the car when passing by the market, and bought two gifts according to Yin Zhou's suggestion. . . that bastard.

"Are you sure about all this?" Lin Yan looked embarrassedly left and right, carrying a live turtle in one hand and walking back, Yin Zhou happily pointed at the turtle's head and said, "What do you know? , These kinds of psychic masters rely on this stuff to keep up with their lifestyle. Trust me."

Lin Yan threw the two bastards into the trunk, took out a bottle of mineral water and handed it to Yin Zhou. He also opened a bottle for himself and took a few sips.

The country cicadas cried one after another, and the green wheat was headed; it was a wonderful scene of peace and prosperity.

Several children wearing red and green were squatting on the ground playing fan cards not far away. Lin Yan asked Yin Zhou: "What did your mother saw that name of the expert was? I'll ask around."

He couldn't help but imagine a scene of a bamboo hut with a mantle drooping in front of the porch. An old man in white with his hand stroked his beard and smiled slightly. He and Yin Zhou knelt forward on one knee, clasping their fists and begging, "Master, please guide me!"

Yin Zhou took a note from his pocket. He squinted at it, and said perplexedly: "Second Immortal Gu."

Before Lin Yan had enough time to swallow, all the water was spat back out.

"Ahem. . . is that so?"

In a small courtyard in the northeast corner of the village, Lin Yan and Yin Zhou found the legendary Second Immortal Gu’s house. When Lin Yan saw Second Immortal Gu's respectable face from outside the door, the regret in his heart was like torrential rapids. There was an enclave in an empty black room; he didn't know which god was being worshipped. An old woman in blue flower cloth sat cross-legged on the futon with her eyes closed and rests her mind. The red cloth strip that was tied to her forehead was quite imposing.

"This posture rivals some of the best dancers out there!" Yin Zhou pointed at the scene inside and couldn't help muttering softly.

"Come on, this is who your mother mentioned. Be respectful." Lin Yan said embarrassedly.

"What should we do?"

"Let's take a look first. Maybe the real person hasn't shown up."

Lin Yan and Yin Zhou walked through the door. Hearing the movement, the immortal woman lifted her eyelids slightly, and hummed from her nose aimlessly.

"Oh, ahem. . ." Yin Zhou couldn't hold back his grin and quickly concealed it with a cough.

What happened later was a farce. After receiving the turtle and two hundred yuan brought by Lin Yan, the woman suddenly became energetic. She worshipped the gods with incense and poured a bowl of clear water on Lin Yan while muttering words. After turning around Lin Yan more than ten times, she finally opened his eyes sharply. Lin Yan was so frightened by her that his body was shocked. The only thing she did was shout: "Aha! I saw it!"

"There is a little girl standing behind you!"

Lin Yan and Yin Zhou looked at each other, each holding their breaths.

"Oh, this baby girl died terribly. She said that she was locked up and could not be born. She didn't have money to buy clothes, and she didn't have money to pay her way through death. That's why she's gotten involved with you. . ."

"Wait, I'll ask her how to resolve this. . ."

The immortal woman closed her eyes and began to sing. Lin Yan pointed at the door to Yin Zhou and said: "Do you need someone to grease your feet, what are you waiting for?"

After reciting a long list of words, she opened her eyes and saw that there were no longer two other people in the room.

The immortal woman had no choice but to touch the newly collected two hundred yuan and shook her head, muttering that the young people nowadays are really impatient. Then she staggered around to pack her things up.

When she picked up the bastard turtle, she couldn't help but give a long sigh.

[helenofsimblr]

Things that simblrs get so wrong

(Please don’t take this too seriously, this is what we UK folks call “tongue in cheek”) 

1) Toddlers

This is such a pet peeve of mine, and you can make this into a multi faceted issue. But for speed, we can split it up into 3, hair, personality, and speech.

I can say, most of the toddlers that feature with some epic, big, stylised hair. Total bullshit. A real world toddlers hair has usually got food in it, can be a bit thin and or patchy in places, and it certainly won’t look as though it just came out of the fucking hair salon.

Speech is a tough one to criticise, as toddlers develop at different rates. Most simblrs I have seen with toddlers, generally portray their toddlers as completely conversational and able to easily talk with adult, this doesn’t happen till 4 or 5 year old generally, and they certainly won’t give a fuck how their single, supermodel mom’s date went!

Personality is next. If anybody here has ever looked after a toddler, most understand the concept of “terrible twos” for those who haven’t. In plain english; little shits. Toddlers can be ill tempered. Some are little angels, most though can and do lose their shit over something on a daily basis. They are hard work...! Which leads me to my next point...

2) Parents

The vast majority of parents look like shit, feel like shit, and just generally pray for school / daycare to get just a few hours of reprieve from their spawn. Mothers are particularly questionable in appearance, usually sporting bags under the eyes, comfy jogger trousers, and frumpy tops that they can easily lift up, push aside, etc... to enable fast breastfeeding. 

These glamourous perfect mothers, with amazing figures, yes they are possible, but they are not common place! So fuck off with your supermodel moms! Its not realistic, all you’re doing is making motherfuckers like me, feel REALLY bad! I have a fat ass, I cannot ever wear my hair nice, because a toddler will generally pull at it and mess it up. I have food in my hair. I found a piece of biscuit in there from the morning! 

Oh and nails... don’t even get me started on nails. You really think a typical mother has time to go to a nail bar!? You think bright red talons are a legit thing to have when you have a shitty backside to wipe? BITCH PLEASE!!

Dads, well, think a bit overweight. Hair being greying and or thinning, and usually equally tired looking, but less likely to find biscuit in their hair because they have less of it. They are too tired to go to the gym and look like Mr Universe because while they don’t work as hard as a mom does, they can certainly copy our level of tiredness nicely. Parent sims, should look like crap. Aim for that. 

3) Elders

OMG... this... 

ELDERS ARE NOT YOUNG ADULTS WITH GREY HAIR!

Go to a bingo hall, and check out the old women and men there... then compare them to how your Elder sims look. Do those old women and men look like they could do 50 pressups easily? Get my point? Fucking hell, I’ve seen elder sims on here that look better than I did in my early 20′s! Which given my rampant Acromegaly / gigantism, isn’t hard admittedly, but still! 

4) Childbirth

So I’ve seen a few birth stories over the year and noted a few things 

Firstly, the father if present, is portrayed as super helpful and really encouraging. Bullshit. Most fathers are bored senseless, they are literally counting the seconds down till its all over, and they can fuck off back home and enjoy one last night’s sleep especially if its not their first. I’m serious. Oh, and they will occasionally take a peek down at the business end to try and guess how much longer its going to take. if you’re lucky you may get the odd “you’re doing great honey”. 

Secondly, the mother. Oh my god, in my first delivery, I was covered in blood, shit, piss, amniotic fluid, mucus, and coffee that I spilled on myself. I was sweating as bad as Lee Evans on standup! In the second one, I also had blood, shit and piss, no coffee however... and I gave myself a heart attack. I don’t know what’s waiting for me in the third one.... Yes I want a third one. I don’t think ANY of the mothers there looked like they just strolled off the fucking catwalk straight into the delivery room. Again, bitch please!

5) Men 

Most of the mens on here are either portrayed as an effeminate btich with six packs and pouts, or a total bastard who does what they like and and tries to make everybody feel bad.  The truth is, men are simple creatures they have only three primary wants in life... food, sex and a third want which can change or be swapped out, usually multiple times over the course of their lives. Food and sex are set in stone.

That is all

[punchdrunkdoc]

Updated K-drama list (2)

4 more shows DONE. I’m seriously obsessed guys. 

I’ve also updated the list to include some ratings - mainly how many tissues you’ll need, and how amazing the architecture/interior design is in the houses. Seriously, some shows I could barely concentrate on the subtitles because the sets were so gorgeous!

FAVOURITES

1. Crash Landing on You

He’s from North Korea. She’s from South Korea. They never should have met, but they’ll change each other’s lives.

This was my first K-drama, and its still my favourite. The full cast of characters is great, the lead romance is ANGSTALICIOUS and its genuinely, laugh out loud funny (when its not making you cry or swoon).

Male lead: Officially the best boyfriend ever. With added dimples.

Tear-jerk factor: 4/5

ArchitecturePorn: 2/5  

2. Descendants of the Sun

A special forces Captain meets a capable and beautiful trauma surgeon. They feel an instant bond, but their jobs and philosophy on life get in the way, threatening to tear them apart.

Halfway through this show, I seriously thought this might overtake CLOY as my No. 1 fav. I absolutely LOVE watching competent people doing their jobs really, really well - and this had it in spades. I also ADORE the male lead character, and the romance was beautiful…but it didn’t quite nail the angst, and the last minute was a bit twee, which kept it in the No.2 spot.

Male lead: A cocky, charming, absolute BADASS...with the most adorable, cheeky smile.

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

ArchitecturePorn: 0/5 (mostly crumbling buildings and sterile hospitals!)

3. Healer

The lives, and pasts, of a hot shot reporter, a spunky young tabloid journalist and a mysterious thief-for-hire intersect.

This was so addictive - the plot was tight and engaging, and this is one of the few shows I’ve watched where there didn’t seem to be a lot of filler. I loved the central 3 characters, and the romance was amazing. I especially loved that the male lead started off such a brooding loner, but he became super-affectionate as soon as he admitted his feelings. So many good hugs and lots of face-cradling in this one.

Male lead: Effortlessly beats up 2 henchmen while comforting his girl over the phone. What’s more to add?

Tear-jerk factor: 1/5

ArchitecturePorn: 1/5

4. My Holo Love

A lonely woman falls for a holographic AI and then meets his creator...

I love the concept of this show (I’m a big sci-fi nerd), and it was beautifully shot. The lead relationship is well developed and it doesnt fall into a typical love triangle. I’ve come to realise it utilises a lot of K-drama tropes (face-blindness! shared childhood trauma!), but it does it really well, imho.

Male lead: Tortured loner genius. My catnip.

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

ArchitecturePorn: 2/5

5. Goblin

A 900yr old immortal guardian finally meets the ‘bride’ who will end his existence

Once I got over the slight ick-factor of the age difference between the two characters at the beginning, I really fell for this show and it’s world. It had me in tears. And I especially loved the secondary character of the Grim Reaper.

Male lead: Surprising innocent and funny for a 900 year old

Tear-Jerk factor: 5/5

ArchitecturePorn: 3/5

6. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

An personal assistant decides to quits her job in order to get a life. Her boss has other ideas.

I loved the female lead in this - as I said, I’m a sucker for uber-competent people, and the actress is STUNNING. Her boss is self-centred, entitled and vain...but over time, somehow that just becomes endearing! This show also has lots of very good kissing scenes...and when he started to unbutton her shirt during one encounter, I was SCANDALISED (did I mention these shows are usually very PG!!)

Male lead: Like I said, somehow makes vanity and narcissism endearing. Also not afraid to get his shirt off and flash his 6-pack. Bonus.

Tear-Jerk factor: 0/5

ArchitecturePorn: 4/5

7. Legend of the Blue Sea

A mermaid comes onto land to find the man she loves

The (literal) fish-out-of-water scenes in the first half of this show were hilarious - the actress is a comic genius! The romance was nicely done, and there wasn’t a lot of extraneous plot or too many characters. I couldn’t stop watching this one!

Male lead: Cocky, arrogant conman with a soft mushy centre

Tear-Jerk factor: 1/5

ArchitecturePorn: 3/5 (I want a hidden room!)

Notable mentions

These are shows which I completed and enjoyed but they didn’t set my world on fire. Usually because they were overly long, or the plot got in the way of the characters/love story.  If I have to fast forward large chunks of side-plot and endless tertiary character interactions, its not making my favourite list

1. Suspicious Partner

A young, hardworking lawyer has her life turned upside down when she is put on trial for murder.

This was overly long, but the serial killer plot had some nice twists and it was central to the story, so it didn’t feel extraneous like some of these types of plots do. I really enjoyed the central romance - the 2 characters sparked off each other well, and the female lead actually got to kick some ass in this!

2. My Love from the Star

Alien stranded on earth meets an actress soon before he’s due to be rescued.

I finally gave this another chance, and I’m glad I did. The female lead got a LOT less irritating, and I enjoyed the present-day romance and all the flashes back to the past. However, the ending was really abrupt and disappointing (which kept it out of my favourite list). There should have been 1 less filler episode in the middle, and a decent, fleshed out finale instead.

3. Strong Girl Bong-Soon

A woman with inherited super-strength gets a job as a bodyguard for an eccentric young CEO

The lead couple in this are AD-OR-ABLE and I loved their relationship. But there was a weird tone issue in this show. The romance is super cute...but there’s a whole dark sub plot involving multiple women being held captive by a psychopath. I ended up fast forwarding most of that, and just concentrated on the romance.

4. Touch Your Heart

Star actress rocked by scandal works at a law firm to prepare for her comeback role

This starred the secondary couple from Goblin and I really like them, even though they are playing very different characters in this (more opposites attract, than doomed lovers). At first I found this too ‘cutesy’, but I’ve since realised the sound effects/graphics are a K-drama thing and not unique to this show, so I’m not as down on it as I was. I still had to fast forward a lot of the secondary romances which I wasn’t invested in.

5. Hyde, Jekyll and Me

A woman becomes involved in the lives of 2 men, who share one body

This stars Hyun Bin from CLOY and he is sooo watchable, especially as the slick-haired, glasses-wearing, uptight Seo-Jin. And the show started well...but quickly went off the rails into a convoluted, dragged-out revenge plot.

6. Melting Me Softly

Two people are accidentally cryogenically frozen for 20 years. They have to navigate the modern world and their new lives together.

Another good concept, but it ultimately descended into little more than a light work-place romance. Had a couple of good kissing scenes, but it was overall a bit forgettable.

And the DNF:

1. My Secret Romance

I started watching this because I was looking for something a little less PG - the characters have a one night stand in the first episode! But I couldn’t get passed the bad acting and cheap production.2

2. Master’s Sun

I liked the premise but the 2 leads weren’t very attractive (at least in comparison to the insanely beautiful actors/actresses in the shows listed above). Call me superficial, but I couldn’t see myself spending 17 hours watching them and willing them to kiss.

[skzpoet]

soulmates

Hyunjin / AU

Summary: Everyone talks about it. Everyone talks about soulmates. Everyone talks about meeting their soulmate in the most romantic way and how them trusting the ways of fate, was easily the best decision they’ve ever made. But not me. I haven’t met my soulmate yet, and I don’t think I will.

Genre: soft, fluff

—

Everyone talks about it. Everyone talks about soulmates. Everyone talks about meeting their soulmate in the most romantic way and how them trusting the ways of fate, was easily the best decision they’ve ever made. But not me. I haven’t met my soulmate yet, and I don’t think I will.

Many people have met their soulmate by the age of 20. I turn 21 in a week. I have seen no sign of my soulmate in the 20 years I have existed. Some have their soulmates name on their wrist. Some have an outline of a puzzle piece somewhere on their body and their soulmate is the missing piece. Some even dream about them. But me? Nothing. I came to terms with not finding a soulmate a couple months ago. I stopped checking my body for clues a week ago.

My friends pity me. They already have their person. Anytime we hang out, they give me this sympathy look and i always roll my eyes at them. I’m fine being alone, because that’s all I’ve ever known. After all, how can i yearn for something that I never had?

-

I work at a small coffee shop right in the middle of San Francisco, California. You would expect it to be busy because of the location it is in, but it’s the opposite. Starbucks is right next to us so most of the business goes there, but I don’t mind it. People who come here, are mostly elderly people and some teens who are just looking for something cheap on the way to school.

It’s currently 5:30pm and the store closes in 30 minutes. Because of it being the weekend, we close an hour early. Today felt long so I was excited to go home. I took the mop out of the supply closet and got to cleaning the main lobby when the bell to the front door went off.

“I’ll be with you in a second!” I say loudly so the person could hear me. I hear a small “okay” in return. I finished mopping the section I was doing, and set the mop to the side. I walked to the register wiping my hands off on my apron. “What can I get you today?” I say still looking down to the register, pressing buttons to get the persons order ready.

“Umm..” I look up to see his fingers tugging his bottom lip as he stares at the menu, deep in thought. I take this chance to admire him. He wore a beanie that covered his hair. He was wearing a buttoned up coat, but underneath was a black and white striped turtleneck. I admired his style. Something about his style though, didn’t seem like the typical San Francisco style you see everyday. It makes me wonder if he’s from California.

“Did you catch that?” He said snapping me back to reality. Redness forms to my cheeks as I noticed him catching me starting at him for too long. “No, I didn’t. I’m sorry. Could you say it again?” I look down to the register, fearing I would stare too long if I looked at him again. He gave me a slight chuckle before saying his order again.

I immediately started on his drink as he stands by the counter browsing through his phone. I take this opportunity to look at him some more. He’s tall. Like, really tall. If I ever hugged him, his chin could fit perfectly on the top of my head.

Wait. What? Why am I thinking about this? Am I okay?

I blush again. Shaking my head to get rid of the thoughts. I finish making his drink.

“Here’s your Americano...” I trail off, not knowing his name. He looks up from his phone and then to me. “Hyunjin.” He says with a smile.

“Hyunjin.” I say. I return the smile. He grabs the drink from my hand and stands there for a little bit. It seemed like he wanted to ask a question.

“What’s your name?” He asks. I stumble with my words before I finally say, “Y/N.” I look at him more, studying his face.

“Y/N.” He says and smiles, repeating my actions from a few minutes ago. He walked backwards towards the door, still looking at my face. “Goodbye, Y/N.” He turns around and just like that, he’s out the door. I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding. I took a few minutes to collect myself again before returning to my duties.

Fifteen more minutes until I could close the shop and go home. My mind was full of Hyunjin and the interaction I just had with him. He was the prettiest boy I ever saw. His smile reminded me of honey. Sweet and golden. He had that type of smile that could be put into an art museum. He is art.

My thoughts get interrupted by a sneeze. “Bless you.” I say immediately. “Thank you!” The voice said back.

I finish my duties and close the shop. I turn the lights off in the back where only employees can go and then make my way to the front. I pick up the chairs that were in the lobby and placed them on the table. Afterwards, I got my keys and turned off the last light.

Wait.

I look around me and view the store. It was silent. Nothing was running. It was dark and the only thing you could hear was my keys dangling by my side.

I’m the only one here. I thought to myself. So who sneezed?

I drove home replaying the events from tonight. First meeting Hyunjin and now the sneeze which i’m positive I heard but now beginning to think i’m going crazy. I heard the sneeze and the response “thank you” so clearly and the voice sounded familiar. Was I going crazy? Probably. I sighed and continued on my drive home.

-

I unlocked the door that led into my home. I saw my mom and my brother sitting in the living room watching something on Netflix. I heard the all too familiar sound of paws on the hard floor meaning my dog knew I was home.

I set my stuff down near the door and leaned down to welcome my dog with open arms.

“Hi baby!” I was attacked with kisses all over my face and her head butted mine from excitement. My mom noticed what was happening and turned her head towards me. “Dinner is on the counter.” She said softly. I got up from kneeling and picked up my stuff. “I’m not really hungry, thank you though.” I walk towards the kitchen to get water.

“Y/N?” I stop. I turn around to see who was calling my name. My mom and brother were still sitting on the couch, their attention glued to the TV.

“Did you guys call my name?” I ask both of them. “No.” They both said in unison, not taking their eyes off the TV. I shake my head, ignoring the voice that I happened to have heard for the second time tonight. I grab water and quickly head up stairs.

I grabbed my laptop and sat on my bed. I opened my laptop and went to Google. Searching for something I swore to never look up anymore. Soulmates.

Don’t know if you found your soulmate? Here’s 10 common clues to look for!

I clicked on the link and scrolled through the article.

“Finding your soulmate is not only exhilarating but also scary if you don’t know the signs! In this article we found the top 10 telltale signs of finding your soulmate. According to data taken from all around the world, we gathered a list of things to look for on your body or your surroundings to see if you found your soulmate..”

I scroll further into the list, holding my breath.

There’s no way this can be real, right?

1. Their name is on your wrist.

2. You dream about their life.

3. You have a puzzle piece or an outline of a puzzle piece somewhere on your body.

4. You can decide their day to day life by making choices for them

5. You can taste what they’re eating

6. You can read their thoughts

7. Your eye color changes to theirs

8. You only can speak their name until you find them

9. Your world is in black and white until you find them

10. You can hear their voice when no one around you can

My breath hitched in my throat. My heart rate sped up. It can’t be, can it? Am I crazy? Did I actually hear someone’s voice?

It didn’t help that I couldn’t hear his voice right now. Whoever he is. He knew my name, so maybe I do know him. I clicked on number 10 to see if it can give me more information.

“Number ten is less common. It wasn’t discovered until 2 years ago, where someone thought they were going crazy because they heard someone’s voice. Don’t worry! That’s just your soulmate talking to you. How does it work though? Well, according to the now couple who discovered it 2 years ago, they said they couldn’t hear each other’s voices until they met in person. And after that, anything they spoke, the other person could hear. Meaning, if you can hear someone’s voice and no one else can, high chances are you recently met them!”

“Hyunjin.” I whispered. I closed my laptop and sat straight up. I pace around my room chewing on my thumb. “Hyunjin” I say again, but louder. “I think you’re my soulmate. But I could totally be wrong and be crazy and just be completely talking to myself. I don’t even know how this works or if I’m doing this right. But again, you could totally not be my soulmate and i’m just talking to mys—“ I get cut off from the familiar voice i’ve been hearing all night.

“Y/N” The voice you’ve been so desperate to hear for the past hour finally came through and you stopped pacing. “It is Hyunjin” he said slowly. I stopped breathing. How is he my soulmate? I have a soulmate? Hyunjin is my soulmate? My mind was running with thoughts. “I finally met you.” He sounded just as relieved as I was feeling right now. “I didn’t think I had a soulmate” I sit back on my bed, listening to Hyunjin. “I’ve waited so long and I just lost hope, you know? All of my friends have their people and they’re in love which is great, but i longed for that feeling for what felt like for an eternity so when I turned 21, I completely lost hope. That is, until I met you.” He was talking fast and I was still at a loss for words.

Everything felt like it was happening too fast, but in reality it couldn’t have been more perfect timing. I waited so long, I waited almost 21 years to have what everyone else had. I lost hope and just when I was fully accepting not having a soulmate, Hyunjin comes into my life.

“I cant believe you’re my soulmate” I whisper. My body longed for him. I want to hear his laugh and his voice. I now understand the love my friends have with their person. I yearn for something I never had. I yearn for Hyunjin. These feelings were consuming me to the point it was too hard to handle them. Without even thinking, I speak to Hyunjin. “We should meet up” I say quickly but hopeful. It was silent. “Hyunjin?” I hope i’m not scaring him.

I hear a knock from downstairs. My dog was barking and I got up from my bed. “Y/N! It’s for you” My mom yelled. My feet worked faster than my brain and I was basically running downstairs. I get to the door, and there stood Hyunjin. I was shocked.

“How do you know where I live?” I ask him going outside and shutting the door behind me. He smiled at me. “I think it’s a soulmate thing?” He laughed. “I don’t really know, I just knew to come here.” He’s beautiful. He’s glowing in the night and I wanted nothing more to kiss him. Is this what it’s like to be with your soulmate?

“You’re doing it again.” he snapped me out of my thoughts while laughing. His laugh was music to my ears. “Doing what?” I felt myself blushing again. “You keep looking at me” he whined, slightly punching my shoulder. It was my turn to laugh. “Look at you!” I pointed to him. “Could you blame me?” He shook his head. “Look at me? Look at you!” His voice matched the pitch of my voice that it was two seconds ago. I shook my head. He rolled his eyes. “Let’s just agree to disagree?” He asked. I nodded my head. We fell into a comfortable silence.

“You wanna go into the city? I’m not from around here, but i’d love to get to know the city.” Hyunjin said stuffing his hand into his pockets. “Yeah of course! Just let me slip into something more comfortable” I turn around to head into the house. “You can come in.” I say extending my hand out. He takes my hand and we walk up the driveway hand in hand.

And in that moment, I was at peace.

[dr-gloom]

A Post About Top Surgery From Someone Who’s Currently Recovering

Yo! I’m gonna make a Trans Survival Guide sometime soon but until then I’ve had some stuff on my mind I wanted to get out here for anyone thinking about/waiting for top surgery. I’ll try to keep it reader-friendly cause i totally understand how hard it can be to read large blocks of text

So, here we go.

Pre-Op

You’ll be asked to not drink or smoke for anywhere from a month to 2 weeks prior to surgery, depending on your surgeon’s preference.

They ask that you only use Tylenol if you need to take pain meds as ibuprofen is a blood thinner and can lead to surgical complications.

If you take vitamins or supplements of any kind, get it cleared with your surgeon or stop taking them as well.

You are absolutely allowed to ask a surgeon how many surgeries they’ve done, their success-to-revision rate, their style if they haven’t already told you, and anything else. 

You won’t offend them, and even if you do, making sure you’re going with the surgery you want is waaaay more important. Put your health and your chest above their feelings.

You’re also allowed to meet up with other surgeons to make sure you’re making the best choice. Consider this “shopping”. Just because you met a surgeon, doesn’t mean you have to go with them.

The Surgery

The specific details may vary, but from my own experience, this is how it goes. 

You’re given a time to check in, then you’re called in from the waiting room to go into Pre-Op. 

For me, this meant chillin for a couple hours under a heated blanket, IV in my arm and heart monitor on my finger. 

Until you’re taken into surgery, a lot of nothing happens, and the everything happens. You meet your surgeon so he can draw on you. You meet the anesthesiology team and presiding nurses etc. 

You can absolutely ask them any question you have, express any anxiety, no judgement. The more vocal you are, the more they can help you and by extension themselves. 

I told the anesthesiologist I’d never had surgery before so I was stressed about going under, and they put something in my IV to help me relax before I was wheeled into the OR. Then they put the mask thing over my mouth and I was out. 

You’ll be chillin naked under a hospital gown for a while lol. After you wake up, if it’s an outpatient procedure, they’ll keep you until they’re sure you’re stable - oriented, no vomiting, etc - before wheeling you out to go home. 

You’ll feel kind of slow, very tired, maybe loopy, and of course whatever you tend to feel from anesthesia. For anyone who’s never had surgery, affects range from nausea to coldness to sleepiness to Total Crap.

Incisions and Types of Surgery

There are of course the two main distinctions most people know: key-hole and double incision. What many don’t know is there are vast differences in surgeons’ styles when it comes to these. I’ve seen double incisions shaped like

smiles

a straight line across the chest

two straight lines

two slightly curved lines

incisions that meet in the middle (as mine did, but only to avoid “dog ears”)

incisions that follow the pectoral muscle

This doesn’t even include botched stitching

If you can, ask to see pictures. They may or may not be allowed to show you; if they have a prior patient’s permission, they can.

Just to cover my bases: key-hole is a small incision made near the nipple which can only really be done for those with small breasts (A cups or smaller ((apparently there are smaller ones???))). 

I still recommend double incision, because you have better results and are less likely to have excess skin. The only drawback is the scarring but I believe it’s worth it.

Pain and Pain Management

Typically, from my understanding, top surgeries are outpatient surgeries if you have to travel to get to your surgeon. 

This is cause they want you numb while you’re travelling back home. 

Of course, I’m speaking as someone from Sacramento who had to travel to San Francisco to see a top surgeon so of course you should check with your surgeon about these specifics.

You’ll get prescription meds. If you stay within the guidelines set for you on the dosage label, you won’t get addicted, so don’t put yourself through pain just cause you’re scared of addiction, trust me.  

It is completely possible and probable for you to swell if you don’t have drains. 

Your chest will feel swollen, maybe spongey ((BUT STOP TOUCHING IT)) and that’s normal. 

If the skin feels heated, you get a fever, you have a hard time breathing, it’s tender to the touch (more than it should be), or makes liquid sounds, CALL YOUR SURGEON/RN.

For me, it was like this:

The first day wasn’t too bad, neither was the second day. The third and fourth hurt the worst, but the pain you feel after the first check-up is different and worse. 

You get the gauze taken off your nipples, whatever compression device they have you use is taken off for the first time and you’re moving skin for the first time in at least a week. It hurts. 

It goes from “bad bruise” pain to “oh shit my chest was cut” pain. If you’ve got a little meat on your bones and your skin tends to fold a little, that can cause irritation too. It sucks.

After about Week 2, you can switch from prescription meds to Tylenol, but not Ibuprofen just to be safe.

Surgery Aftercare

Range of Motion:

They’ll tell you not to raise your hands above your head. 

They’ll say no heavy lifting or working out. 

You absolutely cannot use your arms to sit up. 

You should not go your full reach without doctor approval. 

Try to avoid reaching out to the side or behind you. 

Bending over is also something you wanna avoid cause as your midsection bunches up it can rub/crease your incisions and that hurts.

Ideal Outfit/Clothes:

Honestly if you can avoid wearing anything but underwear and the compression garment, go for it. 

If you can’t, button-ups or tank tops with big arm holes are your best friend. 

For the first few days at least have someone else help you dress. 

I’d suggest loose, non-button/zipper pants such as sweats or gym shorts.

 No shoes with laces/velcro since you can’t bend over - sandals/flipflops are best.

Medications:

As mentioned earlier, you’ll be given prescription pain meds. Take them as prescribed and you’ll be fine. 

If you feel any of the negative side effects like hives or fever or nausea, absolutely stop taking them and contact your doctor. 

You’ll also likely be given antibiotics to prevent infection. Take ALL OF THEM, as prescribed. 

Depending on how you react to anesthesia and who your surgeon is, you may also be given stool softener. 

Bottom line: take ALL of your meds AS DIRECTED. These people know what they’re doing.

If you’re doing everything safe and nothing has set you back, typically you’re good to drive around 3 weeks after, workout lightly about 4 or 5 weeks after, and everything else about 6-8 weeks after.

*****This post was made from things I have learned and my own current experience. If I haven’t mentioned something it’s because I don’t know about it and I’d prefer you have to find information elsewhere than risk spreading false information******

[perfeggso]

Noir (yutae)

Week I pt. 2

Tokyo – fall of 1983: Nakamoto Yuta is quickly rising in the ranks of one of Japan’s most notorious yakuza families, and he’s poised to climb even further if he can stop himself from being ruined by the pretty Korean boy who’s shown up out of nowhere.

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6  |  Chapter 7  |  Chapter 8  | Masterlist 

Glossary of Japanese words

Characters: Yuta x Taeyong + NCT ensemble, Twice J-line (for funsies)

Genres: Gang!AU, angst, smut, fluff, 1980s!AU

Warnings: graphic violence, swearing, minor character death, alcohol use, mentions of drugs, period-typical homophobia, xenophobia, BDSM

Rating: 18+

Length: 2k (will progressively get way longer)

They had beaten Taeyong when he had asked.  He had gotten on his knees before the leader of the Specters and implored him humbly to let him join.  He would be a model warrior, he had assured: would fight unquestioningly anyone who challenged the gang and never run away.  He could prove himself.  The Spectors’ leader had pointed to the full red circle on his white headband.  Don’t you know we don’t accept gaijin ?   I’m not a gaijin , Taeyong had argued, only to be met with a venomous cackle.  Taeyong was sure he had felt a thin rain of spit land on him from the force of the laugh.  What are you then, Zainichi?  That’s worse!  Then they beat him. That was seven years ago, but it still carried trauma for Taeyong.

Gassan-ya was not Taeyong’s favorite bar, but it was doing him good to laze there at the counter drinking alone, eating peanuts, and listening to a mixture of citypop hits from the jukebox behind him and a report on Mitsubishi’s rising stock values on the television hanging from the ceiling.  That’s what he had been doing, until the Specters came zooming on their souped-up bikes past the front windows, hooting and hollering in their white uniforms, and banging baseball bats and rusty pipes against the pavement as they went.  Taeyong cursed to himself upon seeing the group of boys speeding off to a battle, shoving a handful of peanuts in his mouth and swigging the rest of his beer before ordering another.

He could never figure out why he was always so enamored with the Bosozoku boys he saw; why he had felt a need to become one.  Was it his desire for a sense of identity and belonging?  A need to act out against his parents’ authority?  The terrifying thrill he got from imagining himself in battle, taking a bat to some poor young man’s head?  Was it self-hatred?  He figured the correct answer was probably all of the above.  Walking around for almost a quarter century in Japan with the name Lee Taeyong had naturally brought him nothing but rejection – professional, academic, romantic, you name it.  And those who had accepted him were often no better off in life than he was.  Two of his best friends were locked away for petty theft, after all.

So, Taeyong had tried to join a violent biker gang at the age of seventeen, learning to ride his dad’s old motorbike, style a pompadour, and roll his R’s in preparation to make his case.  He did it because if he was going to be an outcast he at least wanted to be an outcast that someone could give a damn about.  He liked the thought of letting off some steam in a grand way, of being a source of fear for prosperous average Japanese people, of claiming his own place in the warrior tradition.  And it would have pleased him to have one of those bikes too.

But it had gone horribly wrong when he did make his case, and now he was too old for the Bosozoku anyway.  He spent his days working at an autobody shop and his nights drinking and trying not to get too close to anyone.  You see, Taeyong was a sensitive boy, but he lived in a world where it didn’t pay to be sensitive.

The bartender slid Taeyong his Sapporo over the counter as the rumble of twenty Bosozoku bikes was finally fading into the night, and he downed the drink as quickly as he possibly could.  It was a nice night and he needed to get out into the fresh air.

Taeyong left the bar on the outskirts of Tokyo and rounded the corner to a sidewalk perpendicular to a small alleyway.  Taeyong noticed curiously the sound of what he could only assume was an interpersonal struggle coming from the alley behind Gassan-ya: feet scraping against asphalt, heavy breaths, and urgent growled arguing.  Against his better judgement, perhaps because he had exceeded his usual drink limit, Taeyong decided to investigate, clutching the switchblade he kept in his pocket and tiptoeing cautiously as if attempting to approach a spooked deer.  When he got close enough to see, he found two men in trench coats hovering over the man Taeyong recognized as managing the bar in some capacity.  In the dusky light it was hard to make out anything clearly, but Taeyong was pretty sure at least one of the men held a revolver.  Taeyong tightened his grip on the knife and peeked out from behind a stack of liquor crates since he didn’t know what else to do and his curiosity was getting the best of him.  As if that would save him.  

“I’m sorry, we’re just a little short!” The man on the ground was attempting to explain – his voice hoarse.

“Well we’re sorry, but we need 30,000 for this week.”

“Please!” protested the apparent victim. “We’ll get it to you soon. Just – just give us a couple days.  I’ll do anything you need and we won’t be late again!”

Taeyong assumed the assailants would respond with something, but instead, the man on the ground seemed to spot him spying, their eyes locking, and Taeyong’s heart plunged into his stomach as the men in trench coats turned around and aimed at him.

“Come out, whoever you are,” said the closer one, “hands above your head!”  Were they cops?

Hesitantly, Taeyong crept out from his hiding spot and raised his arms as his lips attempted to form something coherent to say.

“What are you doing here?” Asked the other one.

What was he doing there?    

“I – I heard something.  I thought it might be a mugging���I’m sorry, I’ll just go.”

“Don’t move,” said the first one.  He turned to his partner.  “Take him to the van.  Kid’s a liability.”

“Yes sir!”  The farther one approached Taeyong and all of a sudden, his mind was spinning not just from the alcohol but also from the battle raging in his mind between the urge to run and the knowledge that he could very well lose his life.  If he were a wild animal, he would be playing dead.

Evidently, Taeyong didn’t think quickly enough, because his kidnapper had already reached him and taken off his hat to cover Taeyong’s face with.  He was led to a van, then formally blindfolded and handcuffed and left to wait for the two men to finish doing whatever they planned to do to that poor bar-owner.

The next several hours were the most terrifying and disconcerting thing that Taeyong had ever experienced.  First, they took him into the city to somewhere in Aoyama, he was pretty sure, and proceeded to have a conversation about him as if he weren’t right there with a man named Gwang-suk (Taeyong noted the Korean name with a mixture of comfort and dread).  Should they kill him?  Please, no .  Should they let him go? That would be greatly appreciated .  Should they recruit him?  To do what exactly??? Taeyong had deduced at this point that he was being held by one or another yakuza syndicate, but beyond that he could not have been more lost.  Then, Gwang-suk suggested they take Taeyong to someone named Nakamoto and that was that: back in the car.

A twenty-minute drive and he was marched into another building and shoved into a chair at an oak desk and finally allowed to see his surroundings.  Taeyong heard a man and a woman talking muffled through a wooden door behind the desk which, when it slid open, revealed a handsome man with white hair and piercings wearing a snakeskin suit.  In fact, Taeyong was briefly distracted by just how handsome the man was.

“ Shategashira !” Taeyong’s kidnappers bellowed, saluting the younger man who was now seated at the desk facing Taeyong.

“At ease,” he said coolly in a rounded Osaka accent.

The man on Taeyong’s left spoke.  “We’re sorry to interrupt you and Ms. Hirai, sir!”

“That’s no problem,” said the man Taeyong could only assume was “Nakamoto.”  “Work is always my priority as you know.”

“Of course, sir!”

The two men recounted their version of events with great enthusiasm and Nakamoto listened.  When they were done, he looked at Taeyong straight-on and asked, “is this all accurate?”

The directness startled Taeyong.  “Um – yes, factually that’s more or less it.  But I was never trying to get into any trouble!  I promise I would never talk!”

“Yes,” said Nakamoto, seeming to search Taeyong’s face.  “I’m sure you wouldn’t.  But you see, the Inagawa-kai simply can’t afford any loose ends, as I hope you understand.”  So that’s whose custody he was in, Taeyong realized, only the third largest and second most powerful criminal organization in Japan – maybe in Asia.  No sweat.  

“If you don’t mind me asking, what is your name?” Nakamoto asked.

“Taeyong.  Lee Taeyong.”

Nakamoto nodded knowingly.  “Mm, I figured that’s why you ended up here.  I deal with all the zainichi .”  

Nakamoto was the first Japanese person Taeyong had heard say that word without even a hint of distaste and this fact only confused his fear even further.  Taeyong had never felt more helpless.  Here he was, with no idea how anything around him worked nor what it meant, his life so fully in the hands of this beautiful man across from him that it made his head pound.  

“So, Taeyong.  Let’s figure this out.  Where are you from?  What do you do?  Tell me a bit about yourself.”

What is this, a job interview?

“I…well…um, I grew up in Shin-Ōkubo and I uh, still live there.  I work in an auto shop fixing cars.  I’m 24?  What else do you need to know?”

“We’re the same age,” remarked Nakamoto with a slight smile, and Taeyong wasn’t sure if this was supposed to be a means of connection between the two men or a subtle jab at Taeyong’s relative lack of status.  Either way, the nervous shaking in Taeyong’s body was beginning to fade as he became more and more confident he was not in imminent danger of death.  However, he couldn’t completely rule out the possibility he was being toyed with.

Nakamoto spoke again.  “How about your family?”

“We’re not very close,” said Taeyong.  “We only speak very occasionally.”

“Well,” Nakamoto responded, “we’re similar in that regard as well.  Do you have a criminal record?”

Taeyong was a bit taken aback by the question, but he was speaking with a gangster, so it wasn’t too out of the blue.  “I’ve stolen some shit, but I don’t usually get caught.  Spent a couple nights in jail for property damage a while ago.  Things like that, I guess?  I was sort of in a gang with my close friends in high school, but we didn’t do much other than loiter.  When I tried to join more established gangs I was rejected.”

“I see,” said Nakamoto, “well you could still always join a gang, if you haven’t already outgrown that impulse.”

Was this the recruitment his kidnappers had mentioned?  How on earth to respond?  “Oh?”

Nakamoto laughed, a sharp sound.  He was apparently done dealing with his victim and turned to the larger of the men who had abducted Taeyong.  “Find someone to go back home with him and monitor him tonight.  I think we’ll make him a foot soldier.  It’s better than the alternatives.  Understood?”

“Yes, Shategashira !”

Yuta turned back to Taeyong, who had gone tense against his chair.  What’s a foot soldier?  For Inagawa-kai? Would he have a gun?  Could he even fire a gun?? What were those alternatives that would be unspeakably worse??? And what was he supposed to say to his boss????

Nakamoto addressed Taeyong one more time.  “I hope you understand that this is for your own good and that you won’t resent me. I'm confident that we can come to an understanding.  I’ll be seeing you soon.”  And with that, Nakamoto was back out the door and Taeyong was once more being hauled to his feet.       

[knifeshoeoreofight]

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Mr. Heinze shakes his head as he pours Sidney a glass of brandy. “His other lordship was difficult to persuade, my lord. It did take some managing to get him to admit a single sartorial preference.” He looks off into the middle distance, as close to perturbed as Sidney has ever seen him. “He has alarming taste in waistcoats, my lord.”

Sidney accepts the glass from him and laughs. Mr. Heinze had accompanied Evgeni to the tailor’s and had apparently had a trying afternoon.  “Let him get the most eye-searing waistcoat in the whole of Britain. I don’t care.”

“You may eventually care,” Mr. Heinze warns, and Sidney laughs again. He’s happy. Evgeni came to see him for a reading lesson and it had been a pleasant, if torturous hour of bending close and guiding Evgeni’s hand as he formed the letters. He’s very intelligent, and is picking written English up exceedingly quickly. Forming the letters himself is still proving difficult, however, hence the need for Sidney’s help.

It fascinates him, the glimpses he gets of Evgeni’s brilliant mind, sweeping emotions, and big, expansive heart. He wishes, more than almost anything, that he understood Russian. But Evgeni is surprisingly cagey about teaching him and Sidney has only been able to wrest the barest bits and pieces of vocabulary from him. Half of which are completely unsuitable for polite company. But nothing makes Evgeni snigger and grin his wide scoundrel’s grin like Sidney butchering Russian sailing profanity. And so he indulges him.

He would indulge almost anything that would make Evgeni happy, and it’s an almost frightening thing to learn about himself.

“At least teach me that thing you always call me lately,” Sidney had complained, and Evgeni had barrelled on as if he hadn’t heard, teaching Sidney instead how to thoroughly question the legitimacy or even humanity of someone’s parentage.

Now, he takes another sip of brandy and contemplates the fire, unable to keep the corners of his lips from curving upwards at Mr. Heinze’s long suffering tone.

“I had to manage him a little, my lord. Tell him you would be disappointed in my service if I did not extract his true wants in regards to his evening attire, and provide him with as much of it as was fitting for someone of his rank. He has a loyal heart. He would not hear of either disappointing you or allowing myself to fall in your bad graces.”

Sidney smiles, feeling wistful. “Yes, he is a good man.”

“With questionable taste in clothing.”

“Even so.”

***

Sidney eventually settles on attending a ball held by the Barrie-Landeskogs. He’s not close to them, but his friend Sir Nathan Mackinnon is and he supposes they’re tolerable enough. The Viscount and his husband typically put on a raucous but well-appointed event. They employ a talented kitchen staff, at any rate.

Two weeks before the ball, Sidney is in Truro on business when he pulls Cole up short outside the window of a jewelers, struck by a sudden whim.

Not all men or women are fond of jewels, but he has a feeling his husband might be, given the opportunity. He spends rather more than he is used to in one sitting, at least when not purchasing fine horses or the like. The thrilled jeweler cannot seem to bow deeply enough on Sidney’s way out.

***

When the day itself arrives, Sidney nervously slides the velvet case containing his gift across the table to Evgeni at breakfast.

Evgeni sets down his tea and blinks. “What’s this?”

Sidney clears his throat. “Something to wear for the ball tonight, if you wish.”

Evgeni’s eyes go wide and his mouth falls open when he sees the cravat pin. It’s an ostentatious thing- the Crosby family crest worked in bright enamel, inlaid with jet and citrine and bordered with glittering diamonds.

Evgeni’s eyes go to where the family crest is also carved into the marble mantlepiece. “This…”

“The family crest,” Sidney says, suddenly terribly nervous that he’s made the wrong decision here. “Gold inescutcheon on a white field.”

“Who’s him?” Evgeni asks, a smile beginning to bloom. He’s reverently cradling the pin as if he expects it to break, and Sidney breathes a sigh of relief.

“It’s a Great Auk,” Sidney explains. “A seabird. You rarely see them now but they used to live all along the coast here. The estate is named after them. Ydhyn Dhu means ‘black bird’ in Cornish.” It’s an unusual animal for a coat of arms, but his family has always been a little different.

“They can’t fly, but they can swim like fish,” Sidney continues. “Do you like it?”

“I’m love,” Evgeni says softly. “This is yours?”

“Oh, no, I had it made especially for you,” Sidney hastens to explain. “Consider it a late wedding present.”

Evgeni’s head is bowed, and he doesn’t look at Sidney, but he traces the auk with his thumb so gently that it makes Sidney want to saddle Cole this instant and go purchase every last bauble the jeweler has.

When Evgeni speaks again his voice is rough. “I’m also get you present. Not so fancy like this, but maybe, think you like simple?”

Sidney is not a child, the prospect of a gift has no business making him this giddy. “Oh! You didn’t have to-- yes, I do prefer fairly simple attire.”

“Should still have something nice for party,” Evgeni says, head still ducked shyly. “Maybe you already have. But I see and I think, maybe you like.”

He pulls from the pocket of his coat a box not dissimilar to the one Sidney had given him. Sidney accepts it from him with eager hands. Inside, on a bed of tissue paper, lies a delicate gold chain. It has a pendant on it, also gold, in the shape of a ship under sail.

“I see you have many ship things, in your study. Painting, compass, sextant. Think maybe you like.”

Sidney flushes, both from Evgeni noticing his alarming weakness for nautical objets d'art and from pleasure in being understood so well.

“It’s absolutely perfect,” Sidney says fervently. “I love it.”

“I know is mostly ladies wear necklace,” Evgeni goes on, looking pleased but still rambling a little nervously. “But I see some ladies wear cravat, some gentlemen wear necklace.”

Sidney unhooks the necklace clasp and drapes it around his neck. The pendant rests where a cravat pin typically would, and it looks very well. “As I said, perfect.” He fumbles with the delicate closure for a moment, and Evgeni stands, and goes behind him to do it for him.

Sidney closes his eyes at the brush of Evgeni’s hands on the nape of his neck. Evgeni fusses with it for a moment, running a finger along the chain to make it lie smooth and perfect. Sidney wants to lean back into the touch, but does not.

“Thank you,” he tells his husband.

“Thank you too,” Evgeni returns.

***

In the carriage, Evgeni cannot stop jouncing his leg up and down from nerves, and Sidney cannot stop noticing how fine a figure Evgeni cuts in evening dress. The coat of arms pin twinkles expensively from Evgeni’s cravat, and Sidney is a little ashamed of how much he likes seeing his crest worn on Evgeni’s person. Not to say that Evgeni belongs to him, but rather that Evgeni belongs with him.

He touches the ship necklace where it lies over his own cravat, and Evgeni’s eyes follow the movement. He smiles.

“Look so good, Sid,” Evgeni says, low, and it makes heat pool in Sid’s belly.

“It was a lovely gift,” he says, and Evgeni shakes his head and gestures vaguely at Sid’s entire body.

“Everything looks good,” he says, and Sid wills his face not to flush scarlet. He smooths a hand self-consciously down his waistcoat. He’d come to the conclusion that if he dressed as plainly as he was wont to do on his own, Evgeni in his resplendently embroidered waistcoat and fine lace cuffs might stand out a little too much. So he’d enlisted the help of Letang, who exhibited an ungentlemanly amount of glee in finally being allowed control of Sidney’s wardrobe.

He’d insisted on a russet velvet coat and a gold silk waistcoat. Sidney was intensely skeptical but Letang had only said some nonsense about his eyes and had insisted. At least he would approach Evgeni in spendor somewhat, this way. And it did go well with the necklace.

“You as well,” Sidney said, after perhaps too great a pause. “I mean, you look very well, also.”

Evgeni lifts his arm and turns his wrist to admire the gold embroidery on the wine-red velvet of his sleeves. “I’m like,” he says, pleased. “And Mr. Heinze say is fine to choose.”

“I’m glad you chose something you liked,” Sidney tells him, and Evgeni looks over at him. He has this way of looking sometimes, like his eyes are smiling even more than his mouth is. He’s looking at Sidney that way now. Sidney wishes--

Well. There is much Sidney wishes for.

He’s suddenly reminded, so clearly that he practically hear his voice, of his father gruffly intoning that “wishes have no practical use, son. What are you going to do to make them come about, instead?”

What indeed. Sidney has been assuming this entire time that, in effect, romancing his own husband would be an egregious abuse of power. But, would it? Under the thrall of Evgeni’s warm, dark-eyed gaze, Sidney begins to wonder.

***

The Barrie-Landeskog estate is ablaze with light when they arrive. Torches line the drive and gleaming carriages wait to disgorge thier dazzlingly dressed occupants. When their own carriage draws up before the wide marble front steps, Sidney meets his husband’s eyes.

“Ready?” he asks.

Evgeni looks a little green but Sidney watches him swallow, close his eyes, and open them with an expression of fierce resolve.

“Yes,” he says firmly.

Sidney steps out first, and turns to extend a hand to Evgeni and help him down. It’s a rather useless gesture, given how long Evgeni’s legs are and how little he needs the help. But Sidney is determined to let society observe him awarding his husband every courtesy.

Evgeni slides his hand into the crook of Sidney’s elbow, as smoothly as if he’d been escorted into ballrooms all his life.

He grins at Sidney. “I’m practice with Mr. Heinze. What you think?”

“Very elegant,” Sidney replies, helpless to do anything but grin back.

They ascend the steps, and are bowed inside by the footmen. It is a riot of color and sound: chandeliers glowing with hundred of candles that glint off gilt scrollwork amid a ceiling of painted cherubs and divinities. The guests below gleam in a rainbow of velvet and silk, jewels flashing, ostrich plumes fluttering from hair ornaments and fans. Strains of music rise above the murmur of voices.

Sidney glances at his husband to see him gazing about himself with an expression of dazzled wonder. He smiles at Sidney, joyous as a child.

“Sid!” he exclaims.

“You like it?” Sidney asks.

“Most beautiful thing I’m ever see,” Evgeni breathes, mouth dropped open. He glances down at Sidney for a fleeting instant. “Almost.”

“Well. if you like it so much, we should open up the ballroom at Ydhyn Dhu. Maybe hold a ball ourselves.”

“There’s ballroom at Ydhyn Dhu?” Evgeni goggles incredulously at Sid.

“Well. It’s shut up since it’s used so seldomly,” Sid explains.

Evgeni raises his free hand to pat Sidney’s arm, laughter in his eyes. “I know, I know. Sid doesn’t like big noisy party.”

“If you like them, we shall have them,” Sidney insists. He’s not completely stodgy.. He can throw his husband a ball, for god’s sake.

Evgeni’s gaze is fond, and he leans down and brushes a kiss across the back of Sidney’s hand. “Maybe. But now, first?” He cocks his head at where the hosts are greeting all of the new arrivals.

“Lord Crosby!” The Viscount exclaims, when they draw near. Heads all around turn with alarming alacrity at the words. “And your husband—”

“Lord Evgeni,” Sidney supplies. Evgeni takes and bows over the hands of the Viscount and his husband with careful politeness.

“We were all astonishment, I must say, to hear of the wedding. Our congratulations, however,” the Viscount continues, bright-eyed and merry. “Nate had precious little information, for all that you are close friends.”

“There is not much to tell,” Sidney replies, and the Viscount nods sagely.

“I understand, I understand.” He leans closer, with a conspiratorial air. “Tall, handsome, and foreign. An irresistible combination, I know.” He leers at his own husband, who rolls his eyes, but also looks a little smug.

“Well-” Sidney is sure he is blushing. “I daresay-- oh look, it’s Nate, I must say hello. Many thanks again for the invitation.”

He angles for where he caught a glimpse of Nate in the throng but before he gets there they are accosted. Inwardly, Sidney groans, for Sir McGuire is one of the most tedious men he has ever had the misfortune to know. Outwardly, he just smiles blandly at the man’s overly familiar greeting.

“And this, this is the husband? Well, it was certainly a surprise to us all when the news reached us,” Sir McGuire burbles. “Tell me, Lord Evgeni, what was your family name again? I do believe I forgot.”

Sidney’s stomach tightens in sympathy for Evgeni and he prepares to intervene, but Evgeni merely lifts his chin, gracing Sir McGuire with a look of such perfected aristocratic boredom that Sidney has to stifle a laugh.

“My name is Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin-Crosby,” Evgeni proclaims. “Of St. Petersburg and Moscow. But my family spend most of our time on our land in the Ural Mountains.”

Sidney knows for a fact that Evgeni’s family owns no land and that he’s only been to Moscow once in his life. He wants to smirk at the look of confusion on McGuire’s face as he tries to figure out a way to be snide about Evgeni’s origins without knowing the slightest thing about what he’s talking about.

“Ah. And was your family able to visit the royal court in St. Petersburg?” McGuire asks with an oily smile. Sidney wants to roll his eyes.

“Dear Katya would not hear of us staying away,” Evgeni replies, with a condescending smirk Sidney should not be finding attractive. Gratifyingly, Mcguire’s jaw drops.

“By Katya, of course you cannot mean--”

“So nice, English education must be better than I’m think, if you know of the Empress Yekaterina,” Evgeni says patronizingly. “Maybe hope for you all, yet.”

Sidney cannot stifle a snort, and bites his lip to try and keep his smile in check as McGuire takes his leave with gratifying alacrity.

“Rogue!” Sidney hisses delightedly. “You know he is a horrible gossip, the entire ballroom will be hearing about that in a matter of minutes.”

“Good,” Evgeni says contentedly, and Sidney bursts out laughing at the serene expression on his face.

Just then the music issuing from the ballroom changes to a minuet. It would probably be a good idea to start off with a couple’s dance, instead of the more complicated dances involving multiple sets of partners. Sidney inclines his head toward the open ballroom doors inquiringly and Evgeni nods. Sidney takes Evgeni’s from its place on his arm and holds it in his own, as correctly as his dancing master would have insisted upon, and leads Evgeni forth.

***

Sidney had not, perhaps, fully considered the ramifications of dancing with Evgeni. The minuet is slow, and stately, and there is nobody to watch for or pay attention to besides one’s partner.

The ballroom is lit up by more chandeliers and candles, and heady with the scent of hothouse flowers. Evgeni’s hands are enormous and strong in Sid’s, and his eyes never seem to leave Sidney’s face. Every time they meet after a pattern of separate steps, Evgeni seems to pull Sidney a little closer. Almost too close, for propriety’s sake. Sidney chalks it up, perhaps, to a lapse in Mr. Heinze’s deportment lessons.

The turns are a little amusing. Sidney can step easily enough under Evgeni’s arm, but they have to get a little creative when it comes to Evgeni getting under Sid’s. They laugh at themselves a little, and it strikes Sidney that he has never had such a pleasant time on a dance floor before. Dancing had always made him feel stilted and awkward, too busy trying to remember the steps to really enjoy himself.

Now, he has Evgeni, who he can laugh with if either of them make a mistake, smiling at Sid like there’s nowhere else he wants to be in the world. Sidney cannot help it-- every warm brush of his fingers to Sid’s own makes him want.

When the music ends and the ballroom breaks into applause, Sidney blinks as if awakening from a spell.

“That was--” he isn’t sure how he is going to finish that, because they are accosted by Letang and Catherine for a quadrille, and the dancing resumes once more.

***

They take a respite from dancing to refresh themselves with glasses of orgeat and negus. Sidney has the taste of rosewater and almonds on his tongue, and Evgeni near him, leaning close to joke about this dandy’s particularly elaborate cravat or that haughty woman’s peculiar hair arrangement. He cannot remember ever enjoying a ball so much.

They are interrupted by Nate, arriving to clap Sidney on the back and cheerfully complain about his inability to convince any young ladies to dance with him.

“It’s because you tread on their feet and are an unromantic lout,” Sidney says dryly. Nate throws his head back and laughs.

“Hilarious, coming from you. Although, I suppose, you do have the higher ground now that you have managed to convince someone to marry you!” Nate toasts Evgeni with his glass of negus and Evgeni frowns a little.

“Come on, Sid,” Nate continues, wheedling. “Don’t let me be utterly humiliated. Stand up for the next dance with me, just the one? I’m sure Evgeni wouldn’t mind, would you?”

Evgeni looks taken aback, perhaps by Nate’s jovial noisiness, but nods, and carefully takes Sidney’s glass when it is handed to him.

“I’ll be back soon,” Sidney promises, and leaves to line up with Nate and a bevy of others for a country dance.

The liveliness of the particular dance means that it is long minutes before he has a moment to stand still as he waits to take his turn in a series of steps, and look back to where he left Evgeni waiting.

He’s startled by the dark look he sees leveled at him, immediately smoothed out to blank nothingness as soon as Evgeni sees that Sidney is looking back. It shakes Sidney, and he can barely concentrate on the rest of the dance. He treads rather badly on poor Nate’s feet, and he knows he is in for an exceptional amount of ribbing from that quarter later.

“Well,” Nate says breathlessly, as the dance finally draws to a close. “I daresay marriage has only worsened your dancing. I would not have though it possible for you to get worse!”

Ordinarily, Sidney would have liked nothing better than to exchange friendly repartee with Nate- the friendship they have has always included a great deal of good-natured teasing. But he is distracted now. During the very last series of steps, he’d spent much of the time craning his neck to see if Evgeni was still staring at the dancers like a thundercloud, but he seems now to have vanished. He take his leave from Nate, and makes his way through the throng to find out where his husband has gone.

A man of Evgeni’s height is not easily missed, so Sidney need only make a few inquiries to find out he has gone outside,to the wide stone veranda running along the back of the house. Tall windows spill light from inside, and it is easy to make out Evgeni, leaning on the balustrade and staring moodily out onto the Barrie-Landeskogs’ extensive lily pond.

Sid comes up beside him, feeling once again wrong-footed and unsure of what to say. The night air holds the promise of spring. It smells of damp earth and green growing things, and there is a chorus of frogsong loud enough to be heard over the strains of music from inside.

“Hello,” Sidney says softly, and Evgeni turns, and gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Where you displeased, that I danced with Nate?” Sidney asks, a little conflicted as to how it makes him feel. Deep down, he fears he might actually...enjoy the idea of Evgeni being desirous of his time and person, at least when it comes to dancing. “Perhaps it was bad of me to leave you alone?” To face the gossips without Sidney at his side. The more he thinks about this the worse he feels. But Evgeni is shaking his head, and his expression has gone rueful and soft.

“No, Sid,” he says. “Is good, to dance with friends. I’m should not--” He doesn’t finish.

“I like it when you’re honest with me,” Sidney says. “Did you mind very much?”

Evgeni doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t look at Sid. Instead he asks: “You like him, Nate?”

“Our parents were good friends,” Sidney says, wondering what Evgeni is getting at. “I’ve known him since he was a snot-nosed infant. How he used to squall! He’s a good lad, if hopeless with the ladies. I fear it may be years before he finds a girl with the fortitude to become mistress of MacKinnon Hall.”

Evgeni looks intently at Sid, as though trying to gauge his emotions. So Sid continues. “And I hope you don’t take his teasing seriously; heaven knows I don’t. He’s just lively, is all. He means no harm.”

“He’s only like ladies?”

Sid shrugs. “As far as I know.”

“And you all right?”

Really, Sidney isn’t sure why Evgeni is looking at him with so much concern.

“Why should I care who Nate likes?” Sidney says, frowning. “He’s like a little brother to me, I’d just as rather not think about his romantic inclinations, at all.”

Evgeni’s shoulders slump and he shakes his head, laughing soundlessly, seemingly at himself.

“What is it?” Sidney says, concerned. “Did you think...did you think I had a tendre for Nate?”

Evgeni buries his face in his hands with a groan. “Don’t tease, Sid. I’m just be little bit foolish.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Sidney protests. “I don’t. Have a tendre for anyone, I mean.” A horrible thought strikes him. “Wait, do you?”

Evgeni shakes his head and sighs. “Only person here I’m want be married to, is you.”

“Oh good,” Sidney says, feeling relieved his anxiety was for naught. “Me too.”

Good god, he sounds a right fool. He wonders bitterly if, had the circumstances been different and he’d met Evgeni at a ball like this, he’d been able to get someone as naturally charming to look at him twice.

“Mean that, Sid?” Evgeni is saying, voice hushed. He is suddenly standing very, very close. Sid can smell his sandalwood shaving soap.

Sid has to clear his throat before he can speak. “I’m not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean.”

Evgeni’s lips are softly parted, as if he wants to say something, or even, perhaps, lean forward and press them to Sidney’s.

Sidney’s heart pounds, and he finds himself swaying ever so slightly forward into Evgeni’s space. Please, he wants to beg. Kiss me. Kiss me because you want to.  

“Sid,” Evgeni says huskily. He raises a hand and softly touches Sidney under the chin, tilting Sidney’s face up towards his own. Sidney cannot breathe. There is only Evgeni’s heavy lidded gaze, and the warmth of his touch. He slides his other hand down Sid’s side to rest at his waist, and--

There is a crash as one of the sets of French doors from the ballroom violently swings open, expelling a couple obviously in their cups, giggling and loudly shushing each other. Evgeni drops his hands and steps back. Sid wants to curse at the loss.

“Go back inside?” Evgeni inquires, tilting his head towards the lit-up windows. “Dance more?”

Sidney wants to protest, but one of the young ladies who’ve disturbed them sighs out “Oh, Annabelle” in tones that suggest vacating the premises with alacrity to grant the young lovers some privacy might be in order.

“Always a flurry of engagements after a ball,” Sidney mutters as they walk in, still a little miffed.

“Romantic,” Evgeni says indulgently. “Very sweet.”

“Yes, quite,” Sidney says, feeling considerably less charitable.

Inside, the musicians are playing something totally unfamiliar, and there is rather a lot more standing around and tittering going on than usual. Sidney has to crane his neck and practically stand on his toes to see past the crush of people standing around the dance floor. When he sees what the precious few couples dancing are doing, his eyes widen. It is one thing to have a genteel rendez-vous with a spouse or a betrothed on a darkened balcony away from prying eyes, but this?

“Good lord,” a woman says to his right, fluttering her fan vigorously. “How..Continental.”

“Very...daring,” says her companion.

“That’s one way to describe it,” huffs a portly older gentleman.

Sidney glances up to see what Evgeni is making of all of this but he looks completely unperturbed.  

“I’m know this one,” he says, pleased. “Waltz. They dance like this in Vienna. I’m have friend on ship who teach me.” He looks down at Sid and holds out his hand. “Dance?”

Had he asked earlier in the evening, Sidney would have most likely said no. The idea of taking such liberties, in full view of society? But he is still flushed and disappointed from the ruined moment outside, and he feels reckless. He wants Evgeni’s arms around him and if a scandalous dance in front of all their acquaintance is the only way to get it, then, well.

“Why not,” Sidney says, with a sangfroid he does not feel. “You will have to teach me, however, I do not know the steps.”

Evgeni lights up. “I’m best teacher, come.”

And then he leads Sidney into the open space on the floor, and tugs him close in front of all the staring eyes around them. He slides one arm close about Sid’s waist, and takes Sid’s hand and lays it on his shoulder. Their free hands he clasps together, not extended a careful distance like in a minuet, but pulled close.

“Watch feet,” he murmurs in Sidney’s ear. “It’s count of three.” Sidney shudders, heat blooming through his whole body. He is certain his face must be scarlet.

Evgeni counts softly under his breath for a moment, to show Sidney how, then begins to move.

Sidney is consumed for a short while with attempting to replicate the movements of Evgeni’s feet, and then Evgeni says “turn now,” and swoops them around to the music so quickly it makes Sidney’s head spin.

It is like no dancing Sidney has ever done. There is nothing stately or decorous about this. There is instead the warmth of Evgeni’s arms around him, pulling him so close that their bodies press together at times. There are twirls and turns that send them flying around the dance floor and turn the ballroom around them into a blur of light and color.

When the music stops, Sidney’s chest is heaving, both from exertion and from having Evgeni so close. He cannot look at Evgeni’s face, he cannot, for surely everything he wants will be clear in his expression, and he does not wish to share with the entire ballroom how desperately he wants to ravish his husband.

“Good?” Evgeni asks, and Sidney can only nod.

“You’re a magnificent dancer,” he says

Evgeni shrugs. “When I’m know dance better, I’m not so bad. You want more drink?”

“Please.” He could drink a gallon or orgeat, he really could.

On their way, they encounter the Letangs. Kris gapes at Sidney.

“Lord Sidney Patrick Crosby,” he exclaims with a smirk. “Did I just see you waltzing? In front of God and this entire assembly?”

Evgeni looks puzzled. “What’s wrong with waltz? It’s nice dance.”

“Ooh, I see now,” Letang drawls. Then smirks. “Godspeed, my lords.”

“Whatever do you mean,” Sidney says flatly, and practically drags his husband the rest of the way to the refreshment table.

***

Sidney stays well past the usual hour when he usually make his excuses and leaves. He’s never seen a ball to its end before, but he is actually enjoying himself immeasurably with Evgeni at his side.

He drinks rather a lot of negus, and the cook must have made it uncommonly strong. The drink and his exhaustion cause him to list sleepily into Evgeni’s side after they step wearily into their carriage for the ride home. Sidney had gone to sit in his previous position opposite his husband, but Evgeni had pouted and tugged him down next to himself, instead. Highly satisfactory arrangement.

The first blush of dawn is pinking the eastern sky and the morning chorus of birdsong serenades them as Sidney gives in to his tipsy weariness and lets his head rest on Evgeni’s shoulder. Evgeni hums and tilts his own head onto Sid’s.

All is peaceful quiet, save the birds, the jingling of the harnesses, and the creak of the wheels for quite some time.

Eventually, though, Evgeni sighs softly and tilts his face so that his nose brushes Sidney’s hair.

“Why you stop call me ‘Zhenya’?” he says, so quietly Sidney wonders if he was meant to hear it at all.

“It seemed...an impertinence,” he says sleepily into Evgeni’s lapel.

“Don’t know what’s mean, ‘impertinence,” Evgeni grumbles.

His accent is so much thicker when he’s this tired. It’s delicious.

“Do you want me to?” Sidney says, laboriously blinking his eyes open, because this seems important. He squints muzzily up at Evgeni.

“I’m want. It’s close name. Was want… we be like family.”

The soft hurt in his voice makes Sidney sit up to look at his face better. Evgeni’s expression makes Sidney feel like he’s swallowed a stone.

“Darling-- I’m so sorry,” he exclaims, drink and exhaustion wringing full honesty from his lips. “I never meant for you to-- I want that too, Zhenya, I want that too.”

Zhenya stares at him, eye wide and lit up rich wood-brown in the morning light. Sidney reaches up and cups Zhenya’s face in his hand. He tugs lightly, just enough for Evgeni to know what he wants.

Zhenya obliges, leaning down and brushing a kiss to Sidney’s cheek. Sidney makes a dissatisfied noise.

“No?” Oh, Zhenya’s voice just then. A deep caressing purr that Sidney feels in his very bones. “What you want, Sid?”

“More,” Sidney breathes. “You.”

Zhenya groans and leans down, his lips finally against Sidney’s own, warm and desperate. He groans into the kiss as Sidney yields to him, lips parting to let him take.

When Zhenya moves from Sidney’s mouth to his neck, Sidney makes a sound that’s almost a gasping sob. Zhenya stills. He presses a series of chaste, gentling kisses to Sidney’s throat, his jaw, the corner of his mouth.

“You drink a lot,” he says. His voice is hoarse, his tone regretful.

“Not-- so very much,” Sidney protests, when he can find his speech again. But Zhenya presses one last kiss to his forehead, and tugs Sidney back down onto his shoulder.

“Rest,” Zhenya insists.

Disappointment floods him, thick and stinging. “If you wish,” Sidney says.

Zhenya, however, makes no answer.

Part 9

[eldritchsurveys]

507.

1. are you more tolerant of hot or cold weather? describe a time when you were extremely cold? describe a time when you were extremely over-heated?: >> I really don’t know anymore. I mean, I run hot, so I think I physically fare better in colder weather. But I don’t enjoy cold weather, you see. I don’t necessarily enjoy hot weather all the time, either, but I feel like I have more freedom in warm seasons than I do in cold ones. A time when I was extremely cold is when I was still new in NYC and I couldn’t find the shelter I’d been referred to and it was eleven degrees and I wasn’t wearing proper winter clothing because I was eighteen and dumb. I nearly froze to death, no joke. I can’t remember a time I was extremely overheated. 2. what was something weird that you did as a child? did anyone make fun of you for it? were there any other children you knew who did the same thing?: >> I was a weird child to other people, but I can’t really see what I did that was so weird. From my point of view, I was pretty unremarkable, but others didn’t see it that way. The myopia of being unable to see myself from other people’s point of view, and all. But I guess being socially underdeveloped and preferring to live in my internal headspace is “weird”, so, that. 3. what has been the hardest thing about growing up? what was the easiest thing about it? was there ever a time when you wanted to stay young forever? was there ever a time when you wished that you could be older?: >> The hardest thing about growing up was dealing with traumatic events without proper assistance or support. (Which is why I’m so behind on dealing with them.) The easiest thing about growing up was just... the passage of time, I guess. That stops for no one. I don’t recall ever thinking I wanted to stay young forever, but of course when I was young I wanted to be an adult so I could start making my own decisions and running my own life. 4. which age milestone has been the most meaningful to you (ie. 16. 18. 21. etc.)? what did you do for that birthday?: >> I’ve never had much use for the standard age milestones. 5. do you use sarcasm on a daily basis? do you have any favorite sarcastic comebacks? how about a favorite sarcastic television-show character?: >> I don’t think I use sarcasm very often. I don’t know what my favourite sarcastic comeback would be, either. I can’t think of a sarcastic tv show character right now.

6. who was the last person you yelled at? do you often yell at this person? are you on good terms with them again, or are you still upset with them?: >> I don’t remember the last time I yelled at someone.

7. if you work, do you get along with your coworkers? which one of them have you known the longest? is your current place of work somewhere that you plan to stay for a long time?: >> --- 8. name three items that have much sentimental value to you. who gave you these items, and for what occasion? do you ever have a harder time throwing away things that people have given you?: >> My plushies have sentimental value, because they’re... plushies. I don’t know. Sometimes I’m not sure I know what sentimental value really is, because I’m ruthless when it comes to downsizing and getting rid of stuff I don’t need or use.

9. in general, would you rather spend the majority of the day at school or at work? what is the longest amount of time that you have spent at either of those places?: >> --- 1o. name some trends that you really enjoy. how did you find out about them? do you know anyone else who likes them as well?: >> I don’t really know what’s trendy. There’s stuff I like that a lot of other people like, too, obviously... but I don’t know if that makes them trends or not. I really just don’t pay attention to this sort of thing. 11. who do you speak with more often: your online friends, or those that you see face-to-face? of which type of friend do you have more? which of those friendships do you value the most?: >> --- 12. when was the last time you felt confused about something? is this a subject that often confuses you?: >> I don’t remember. 13. are you often misunderstood, or do you think that people can get where you are coming from pretty well? do you think that you have a good ability to understand others? if yes, explain?: >> I don’t know how often I’m misunderstood. I feel like I have a hard time making myself understood sometimes, but I don’t know if that’s true or not. I think I have a pretty decent ability to understand others, especially considering I had to really work at my cognitive empathy over time. It doesn’t always come easy. 14. when was the last time that you had a headache? what did you do, if anything, to help it feel better? which is worse for you: headaches or stomach aches?: >> Last night. I took an Aleve. I’d rather have a headache than a stomachache. 15. have you ever had a crush on someone you met online? if yes, what happened between you and that person? do you think that online relationships are legitimate relationships? explain your stance?: >> I’ve been interested (in whatever fashion) in people I knew online. One of those people is my most recent ex, for example. I do think online relationships are legitimate, because... I don’t think any form of relationship is illegitimate? It’s also less difficult for me to understand physically distant relationships because I... am a physically distant person, lmao. 16. out of all of your past friendships and romantic relationships, which one was the worst? if that person were to show up at your place, would you be willing to talk to them?: >> I don’t want to rank any as “the worst”. I don’t see that as helpful. Also, only one of those people knows where I live, and I don’t think they’d show up here anyway. 17. if any, how many friends have you made in the past year? how many have you lost? is making friends something at which you are good, or does it take you awhile to form friendships?: >> I don’t know if I’ve made any friends. I still don’t really know what a friend is right now. Could definitely use some external insight in this area. 18. if you are 18 or older, did reaching your 18th birthday make you feel like you were an adult? if not, what moment (or moments) made you feel like you were finally maturing?: >> I “felt” like an adult because everyone around me said I was. But I didn’t really understand what that meant, and the feeling was only superficial. Mostly I felt crazy, because I was pretty crazy back then. I needed more support, not to be thrown out into the world and left to my own devices, but I guess I made it through all right in the end. I’m alive, ain’t I. 19. would you say that you are typically more or less mature than people your own age? why do you think this is? do you ever look down on people who are less mature, or (if you are “immature”) do people look down on you?: >> I don’t know how to grok or compare maturity. I’m just wherever I am, and I don’t feel the need to measure that. I don’t look down on people for behaving immaturely, especially if they’re young. Like, it’s all part of the process, dude. Let people live and learn. 20. when was the last time that you felt paranoid, and why? do you often feel nervous, or are you more of the mellow type? do you know anyone who is nervous or worrying all the time?: >> The last time I felt paranoid was last night because my heart rate was elevated for about an hour, randomly. But I guess hearts just be like that sometimes. I don’t often feel nervous, I’d say I’m more mellow than anything else although I do have my high-strung moments. Most of the people I know are some level of anxious on a regular basis, so I guess I’m an anomaly. 21. if you have a formspring account, what do you think of it? do you think that you will keep using that site for a long while, or will you be giving it up soon? how many questions have people asked you so far?: >> I haven’t used Formspring since it was popular for that short burst of time. 22. when driving/or when riding in the car, do you ever get pissed off at other drivers? how often would you say this happens, if ever? do you know anyone who has some serious road-rage?: >> I’m the passenger, so other drivers have little to no effect on me. I don’t think I know anyone with actual road rage. 23. as a kid, did your parents force you to eat everything on your plate? if you had them, how did you feel about family meal times? if you were to have children, would you have structured meals with them?: >> I don’t remember, honestly. I don’t recall having any feelings about having to eat meals with my parent, either. It was just normalised. Regardless of whether I ever raise a child or not, I do sometimes miss structured meals, for the bonding aspect (I’m very interested in the connection between food and social bonds, you see), and for the routine/ritual aspect. But that’s just not the kind of household I live in, so. 24. what was the last new thing that you tried? what is something you did a long time ago that you might like to do again?: >> I tried this little snack I found at the Asian market earlier today. It was good as hell, as I’d expected. I don’t know about the second question. 25. do you like it when life falls into a routine, or does routine-ness tend to bother you? when was the last time you went out and did something on the spur of the moment? when was the last time you sat home all day?: >> I am naturally routine-averse; I need variety to stay interested and engaged. Even if I enjoy something, if I do it every day at the same time or whatever, I’ll get bored real fast. But I do sometimes seek out routine when I’m stressed, and I think that goes back to those multiple hospitalisations and the strict and bland routine they imposed. Weird shit becomes comforting when the brain is under pressure, lmao. 26. what kind of things are sold in the last store to which you went? did you make any purchases while you were there? is that some place that you will going back to soon?: >> Everything, it was a big-box store. I didn’t buy anything because they didn’t have what I wanted to buy. We shop there very often, yes. 27. what is your least favorite part about going to the doctor? what about going to the dentist? which of those people would you rather see?: >> Being touched is my least favourite part. I guess I’d rather go to the doctor, though, because that’s less invasive (most of the time). 28. do you ever take care of anyone younger than you (ie. babysitting, watching a younger sibling, etc)? do you like doing this, or does it get to be a hassle?: >> No. 29. is there anything that your parents do that you hope to do for your potential future children? is there something your parents do that you will not be repeating if you have kids of your own?: >> In the unlikely event, I’d say... I hope to inspire creativity by being a creative person, and I hope to not be so strict and standoffish that I give said child an attachment disorder.

[pentakillmaven]

The Nose Knows, Chapter 11 (NaNoWriMo 2018)

Here we are--the penultimate chapter! Once again, thank you so much for all the likes, reblogs, and new followers! I will be revising and posting this on Archive of our Own, along with a bonus sin chapter :) so please look out for that! Also, this chapter includes links to visual references for the outfits I have in mind for the characters if you want to check those out.

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Warnings: Mild language, canon-typical violence

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Chapter 11

The next week seemed to pass by in a blur; between school, Ladybug duties, and working on her dress for the fashion show, Marinette was lucky to get five hours of sleep a night. But unlike the week before, when the dread of the standardized testing had dragged her down, she felt light as a feather despite the relative lack of sleep.

When Saturday rolled around, Marinette was just putting the finishing touches on her dress, hand-stitching the green embroidery along the neckline. The dress itself was a fairly simple knee-length, one-shoulder black dress, with leather-edged horsehair ruffles giving the skirt some dimension. On the bodice, playful embroidery brought to mind one particular feline superhero. As always, Marinette stitched in her signature, letting it flow into the design running down the side of the bodice under the single shoulder strap. She tied off the thread, snipped the excess down, and stepped back to survey her handiwork. "Well, Alya, what do you think?" she asked, turning to her best friend.

"I think… it looks amazing! This has definitely got to be some of your best work yet!" Alya, on her part, was already dressed for the evening, opting for a burgundy-colored full-length jumpsuit with a tie waist that offset her hair beautifully. Said hair was up in curlers at the moment, while Marinette's was still unstyled, a messy topknot keeping it mostly out of the way. "And you finished just in time, too--we only have three hours to get ready before we have to leave."

"Oh, merde, is it really that late already?" Marinette whimpered as she looked at the clock, confirming that it was already after four. "All right, I'm going to jump in the shower really quick, and then we can finish your hair before we do mine."

"Sounds good, girl! See you in a few minutes."

Marinette slipped into her strappy pumps, wrapping one of her mom's black faux-fur stoles around her shoulders for warmth as the girls put on the finishing touches to their outfits. The choker Adrien gave her nestled right at her collarbone, the green stones in the pendant pairing beautifully with the embroidery just below. "I feel like that should be a bell instead of a pendant," Alya teased Marinette gently. "That way Adrien knows where you are at all times."

Marinette giggled, an embarrassed flush visible even through her makeup. "I don't think Adrien's really the collaring type… Now, if it was Chat Noir, I wouldn't be surprised."

Alya's eyes widened in shock at the innuendo, but she burst out into laughter a moment later. "Oh my god, Marinette! Since when do you have such a dirty mind?"

"I guess someone is rubbing off on me," Marinette said pointedly. "Or am I not the one you confide into regularly when it comes to your love life?"

"Touché. I'll give you that one." The two girls hustled downstairs, where Nino was waiting with his car. Being the oldest of their friend group, he was the first to get his license, and his side gigs as a DJ allowed him to afford to get a car. It wasn't a top-of-the-line model by any means, but it was better than public transportation or walking. "Ooh, don't you clean up nice?" Alya asked as she slid into the front seat alongside her boyfriend, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Thanks, babe--you look pretty foxy yourself." Nino gave Alya a wink. Marinette didn't miss the glare and subtle tilt of the head that Alya gave Nino in return, figuring that it was in response to the "foxy" comment.

For once in his life, Nino wasn't wearing his hat, though Marinette could see it tossed into the back seat alongside his pea-coat. He had on a nice button-down with a waistcoat and tie paired with dark-wash jeans and a leather belt. "You look very nice too, Marinette," Nino added as he pulled away from the bakery. "Adrien's going to have a heart attack when he sees you."

"That's the idea," Alya replied, turning up the heater and crossing her arms over her chest for warmth. The night was clear, but cold, temperatures already in the single digits Celsius now that it was past sunset.

"Okay, so I'm headed to the Paris Expo Porte de Versailles, right?"

"Yeah, that's it. Adrien said there will be people directing traffic, so we just have to show them these badges. Apparently we get special parking, too." She pulled the three VIP badges out of her clutch, handing one to each of her friends and keeping the third for herself. She slipped the lanyard over her head, nestling it under her wrap.

"Damn, I knew Adrien and his dad were, like, famous and all? But I had no idea that things were going to be this cushy tonight."

"Yeah, have you read these passes, Marinette?" Alya asked, looking down at the fine print on the back of the badge. "We get free VIP parking, special seating, free appetizers and drinks, the works! I bet this is what it feels like to be Jagged Stone."

"I heard a rumor that he might actually be here tonight, actually. Another DJ I see around sometimes has a cousin whose best friend is acquaintances with Jagged Stone's agent, and he said Jagged had some big party to go to."

"If he's there, I'll have to say hi," Marinette replied absently, staring out the window. She was starting to feel nervous, the butterflies building up in the pit of her stomach. Even though she didn't have any of her work on display in the fashion show, this was still a huge event, and she was wearing a dress of her own design. What if some famous designer said it was horrible? What if Audrey Bourgeois was there and she called it a failure? What if Adrien didn't like it?

"Hello! Earth to Marinette!" Marinette jumped as she snapped out of her thoughts, looking toward Alya, who had turned in her seat to look back at her friend.

"Sorry, Alya, what's up?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a bite before we go, since we have time, but you look like you're about to be sick. What's wrong?"

"Oh, you know… just nerves, that's all."

"Marinette, honey… you look banging, your dress is lit and you're just going as an guest, not as a designer. You have nothing to worry about. If Adrien doesn't declare his undying love for you tonight, the boy has way more serious problems in his future."

Marinette gave Alya a small, wan smile. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Alya. But I am kind of going as a designer. There's always someone there who asks the VIPs, 'Who are you wearing?' If I tell them I designed my dress myself and people don't like it, that could mean my design career is over before it even begins."

Alya reached out a hand toward Marinette, who took it; Alya squeezed her fingers comfortingly. "I highly doubt that. You're a talented designer! Even if this dress doesn't dazzle people--which I think it will--you still have a lot to offer in other departments. Your hats, your purses and bags? I mean, you designed Jagged Stone's glasses that one time, right?" When Marinette nodded in confirmation, Alya continued, "So if formal dresses aren't your thing, then you design what you do know that you do well!"

"That's true; thanks, Alya. I needed that." Marinette let go of Alya's hand and leaned back into her seat, tucking her arms back up under her wrap for warmth. She looked back out the window, watching the city lights go by, a quiet sigh escaping her lips. 

The trio decided to forgo a food stop for the sake of getting to the venue early; it ended up being a blessing, as traffic was absolutely snarled in the vicinity of the Paris Expo Porte de Versailles. It was already close to 8 when Nino pulled off of the road, spotting a sign for "VIP Parking." With a flash of their badges, the guard waved them on. "Pull up to the side of the building over there and a valet will take your car from there," the guard explained.

"Valet parking?" Nino glanced back at Marinette through the rear view mirror; the midnight-haired girl shrugged in confusion. "Damn, this really is fancy. I could get used to this." Pulling up to the building, a young man in a red vest approached them. The three teens all climbed out of the car, Nino passing the keys to the valet along with a five-Euro bill. "Merci beaucoup," the valet replied with a bow, hopping in the driver's seat and pulling away from the curb.

"Wow, this is kind of incredible," Alya said. Just ahead of them was a red carpet, paparazzi lining both sides snapping photos while Nadja Chamack interviewed a group of people for the local TV news station. "Oh, shit--isn't that Chloé and her parents?"

Marinette's head whipped around, spotting two familiar-looking blondes standing near an older man with a red, white and blue sash wrapped around his torso. "God damn it… I was really hoping not to run into them… I should have figured they would be here."

"Hey, Marinette, it's okay! Just keep your head up and don't let them see you sweat." Alya reached up and unhooked the clasp holding Marinette's wrap closed, revealing the embroidery on her dress. "No matter what, you created this. Your hard work deserves recognition. All right?"

Marinette couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Alya. I needed to hear that." Shaking her head and straightening her back, she led the group of three toward the red carpet.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng! What are you doing here?" Marinette clenched her teeth to maintain a smile at the sound of Chloé's voice.

"Hello, Chloé. We were invited by Adrien personally," she replied, gesturing to the VIP badge hanging from her neck.

Chloé looked at Marinette, Alya and Nino behind her, then turned away with a sniff as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Well.. I hope you have a good night, then," she muttered under her breath.

"Chloé, who are these children? Do you know them?" Audrey Bourgeois pulled her sunglasses down, peering at the teens over them. "Oh--you're that girl, the one who made the feather hat, aren't you?"

"Yes, Mme. Bourgeois." Marinette straightened up a bit more as Alya poked her in the back, tugging her wrap off of her shoulders to fully expose the embroidery.

"Your dress is… fantastic! That embroidery work is impeccable. Who is your designer?" Audrey asked.

"Mère! You can't be serious!" Chloé whined, stomping her foot. "Her dress is so, so... "

"It's inspired, is what it is! Tell me, did you design this yourself?" Audrey continued.

"Yes, madame. I was actually inspired by the necklace, you see." Marinette reached up and touched the pendant hanging from around her neck.

"Oh, yes, I can see the influence! The color selection is fantastic, and the texture of the ruffles is divine compared to the smooth embroidery. Well done!"

Marinette's whole face was flushed under Audrey's praise, though only a faint glow came through under her makeup. "Thank you, madame." She looked toward the door, realizing that Nino and Alya had gone ahead of them. "I need to be getting back to my friends, but thank you again."

Audrey nodded; with that signal, Marinette made her way around the rest of the people on the red carpet as politely as she could until she got to the door leading inside the building. Through the glass, she could see Alya and Nino talking to Adrien, who was dressed to the nines in an impeccably tailored black suit with patent leather shoes.

"Gee, thanks so much for having my back, guys," Marinette said as she walked up, shoving herself between Alya and Nino and giving them both a playful elbow.

"Why would you need us to have your back? Clearly you handled yourself out there just fine!" Alya replied. "Chloé looked like she was going to combust when her mom started praising your dress."

Marinette couldn't help but giggle at the mental image of Chloé exploding like a firework. Turning to Adrien, she smiled shyly, entangling her fingers behind her back. "So… what do you think, Adrien?"

The blond just started at Marinette dumbly for a long moment until Nino sidled over. "I think he might be broken," the bespectacled young man said, reaching out to poke his friend in the side of the ribs. Adrien jumped in surprise, shaking his head. "Are you with us now, dude?"

"Y-yeah, sorry… Marinette, you look… wow." Adrien seemed to be awestruck by Marinette's appearance.

Marinette's flush became even more pronounced at Adrien's praise. "I'm glad you like it."

"And you're wearing the necklace," Adrien said, his voice soft.

"Of course. It's part of the reason i designed this dress specifically."

"You designed that dress? And made it in a week? Marinette, that's incredible!"

"Thanks, Adrien. That means a lot, coming from you."

"Adrien? Adrien, where are--oh, there you are." Nathalie walked up to the group, her noticeably pregnant stomach covered with a soft empire-waisted dress in a navy blue color. "The show is about to start. You're needed in the back."

"Okay, Nathalie, I'll be right there." Adrien turned back to his friends. "You guys are going to be right up at the front; any of the ushers can lead you to your seats. I'll try to come out and sit with you guys if I get the chance."

"Are you modeling tonight, Adrien?" Alya asked.

Adrien shook his head. "Thankfully, no. I'll probably have to come out on stage with Father and M. Spadafora at some point, but I won't be wearing any of the designs."

"Oh, that's too bad. I know Marinette always likes to see you on the catwalk." Adrien's eyes widened for a split second before he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry to disappoint. Maybe next time. I'll see you guys later!" With that, Adrien turned and walked away, leaving the other three teens alone.

"Guess we should find our seats, if the show is about to start, huh?"

"Yeah, sounds like a plan," Nino replied. "Marinette, since this was all because of you, why don't you lead us?"

"Oh, all right." Marinette headed toward where the seating area was set up, creating a U-shape around a temporary raised stage with a catwalk jutting out of it. Around the perimeter of the seating area, more men in red vests waited to lead guests to their seats. "Hello, we're in the VIP Section?" Marinette said questioningly to the nearest usher.

"Of course, mademoiselle. Right this way." The usher led the three down to the very front on the left side, into a seating area marked off with red velvet ropes.

Rather than standard folding seats, this area was furnished with soft, cushy-looking couches, a handful of waiters holding trays of champagne glasses and hors d'oeuvres. Marinette could see the Bourgeois family sitting in a similarly-furnished area on the opposite side of the catwalk. "Oh, thank God we don't have to sit with them," Marinette whispered to Alya and Nino. "I think I would have had a heart attack."

"Yeah, I don't think I could handle an entire night of sitting with them, even if we didn't have to speak to one another." Alya glanced over to see Nino already stuffing his face, giving a heavy, long-suffering sigh. "Why don't you go find us a seat? I need to get my boyfriend before he makes a fool of himself."

"Sounds good." Some of the couches had already been claimed, but there was one couch right up at the front that was still empty. Marinette hurried over, using her wrap and Nino's coat to save seats for the other two. Glancing down the row of couches, she spotted some familiar faces--and a very familiar crocodile. "Jagged Stone! Penny! It's great to see you!"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng! It's wonderful to see you, doll," Jagged Stone said as Marinette made her way closer to their sofa. "What are you doing here? Do you have some designs in the show? Killer dress by the way. Very Rock and Roll. Made it yourself, I presume?"

Marinette couldn't help but laugh, unable to get a word in edgewise until Jagged stopped to take a sip of champagne. "I was invited by my friend Adrien; his father is the owner of the Agreste fashion design company, so they're hosting the show. No, I don't have any designs in the show itself, but yes, I did make this dress. I'm glad you like it!"

Penny smiled gratefully at Marinette for coming over, struggling to hold Fang's leash as he tried to climb up onto the sofa with them. "I'm glad you're here, Marinette. Jagged is working on a new album, and he actually wanted to ask if you'd be willing to design another album cover for him."

"Really? I'd love to!"

"Great! I believe I still have your email, so I'll send you some of the tracks we have recorded so far so you can get a feel for the album's sound. Do you think you can have the cover done in, say, two weeks?"

"I can definitely do my best! I look forward to getting the email from you."

"That's what I like to hear!" Jagged piped up, leaning over and scratching Fang on the head. "Who's a good boy, who's a good boy?" he baby-talked to the enormous crocodile.

Penny couldn't help but smile at the man, who was now sliding off the sofa to sit on his knees in front of his pet. "Thank you again, Marinette, and tell your parents thank you for hosting us last time.  Oh, and if you see Ladybug, will you thank her for me as well?"

"Wh-what makes you think I would see Ladybug?" Marinette asked quickly, tucking her hands behind her dress to hide the sudden shaking of nervousness.

"Well, because you live here, and we don't. We fly back to the States first thing in the morning for more recording."

"Oh--of course! That makes sense. I'll definitely let her know if I see her."

"Thanks, Marinette. It looks like your friends are back, so we won't keep you, but it was great seeing you!"

"Great seeing all of you too! Good-bye, Fang!" she specifically said to the crocodile, who turned its head and lolled its tongue out at Marinette almost like a dog. With a giggle, Marinette returned to the other end of the VIP section, where Alya and Nino had taken up station on the couch she'd reserved.

"Well, would you look at that?" Alya commented. "Nino's friend was actually right!" She took a sip of her glass of champagne.

"Yeah, I guess so. Honestly I thought his 'information' was pretty sketchy, but he was right for once," Nino added

"I'm not surprised," Marinette replied. "He is a celebrity, after all. Celebrities tend to get invited to these sort of events."

"True." Alya handed Marinette a glass of champagne, but the midnight-haired girl waved it off. Shrugging, Alya finished off her own and then started on the second. "So when is this thing supposed to start?"

"I think any minute now." As if on cue, the lights in the exhibition hall dimmed, twin projection screens rising on the back of the stage. A video started to play, showing drone footage of Paris on the left screen with footage of what Marinette presumed to be Milan on the right. A female voice started to speak in English:

"Paris and Milan. Two cities separated by over 600 kilometers, a mountain range between them--yet never before have they been closer than they are today."

The drone footage on the Paris side closed in on the Eiffel Tower, while the Milan side focused on a massive Gothic cathedral. With both landmarks on screen, the Agreste logo and Spadafora Leatherworks logos appeared, superimposed over their respective cities.

"With the collaboration between Milan's own Spadafora Leatherworks and Paris's crown jewel, Agreste Fashion, these two cities are coming together like never before."

Twin spotlights came up, focusing on either end of the stage. From the Paris side, Gabriel and Adrien stepped out; Gabriel was wearing a similar suit to Adrien's, both impeccably tailored, showing off the family resemblance between father and son. On the Milan side, Vincenzo Spadafora walked out with his own twin children, his bald head gleaming under the spotlight, contrasting with his blue-tinted sunglasses and dark goatee. Gabriel and Vincenzo approached the center of the stage, shaking hands and then embracing like old friends as if to show the closeness of the collaboration between their companies. The crowd erupted into cheers at the sight, the screens going black except for the combined logos for the new collection that would be premiering in France for the first time.

Gabriel began to speak, his voice amplified by the microphone clipped to his lapel. "Good evening everyone; thank you all for coming. It is my great honor and pleasure to introduce to you, for those who may not recognize him, the president and CEO of Spadafora Leatherworks, Vincenzo Spadafora." The bald man gave a wave at the introduction. "Like Agreste, Spadafora is a family brand. The Spadafora family has raised cattle in central Italy for over ten generations. When I first visited Vincenzo's family's cattle ranch in Tuscany, I knew they had something special going there. However, the Spadafora legacy has spread beyond the family ranch. The Spadafora Leatherworks global headquarters in Milan is where the real magic happens. Tuscan leather is turned into high-end accessories fit for any fashion-forward individual, and the company is spearheading the development of eco-conscious faux leathers that are truly indistinguishable by the naked eye. That was when I knew that the Spadafora and Agreste companies could create something truly special. And that is what we bring you tonight." The crowd broke into applause and cheers once again. "Please sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Thank you so much." The two families split off, heading backstage, while the spotlights reset for the start of the show.

"This is so cool!" Alya hissed in Marinette's ear as the music started, a deep thrumming bass practically shaking the floor. Marinette just nodded, her eyes trained on the stage, watching the first handful of models walk out to show off the collaborative designs.

"I wish I would have brought my notebook!" Marinette replied, more to herself than to Alya. Her fingers were itching to draw, to create, inspiration striking at the most inopportune time.

"What do you think, Nino?" Alya turned to her boyfriend.

"I think whoever is in charge of the sound needs to turn the bass down a bit, or they're going to blow out the subwoofers," the DJ replied, wrinkling his nose. "I can barely hear the treble over the shaking of the bass line."

"Well, you're no fun either." Alya took another sip of her champagne, tucking her other hand under her arm.

Marinette looked over at Alya apologetically. "Sorry, this really is awesome! I can see all of the little details from here. It's just making me want to draw!"

"That's fair!" Alya conceded. "So what makes this stuff so special anyway?"

"Well, from what I've been able to find out, Spadafora has been able to make a faux leather that feels and acts like real leather. The only way to tell the difference is under a microscope or with other scientific equipment."

"Oh, that's neat!" Marinette nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I'm actually kind of surprised there wasn't a crowd of protesters outside when we pulled up--stuff like this can sometimes draw those kinds of people, you know?"

"Yeah, I've seen stuff on TV before, especially around Fashion Week. Isn't that part of the reason why the locations of some of the events is kept private?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. Also the secrecy helps to protect the different fashion houses from having competitors rip off their designs."

"Oh right! That's, like, a big deal in the design world, isn't it?"

Marinette nodded again. "Yeah. All of the major fashion houses have their employees and models sign things like non-disclosure agreements, and some of them even require non-compete clauses."

"Wow. That's pretty serious. Is the fashion world really that cutthroat?"

"You have no idea."

All of a sudden, from behind the seating area, a loud crashing sound interrupted the show, a sudden chill coming into the exhibition hall from the blown-off front doors. Standing in the entryway was a villain whose outfit seemed to span myriad different fashions, ranging from a Renaissance-style neck ruffle to bell-bottom jeans. In one hand, she held a large, feather quill, which seemed to glow with dark magical essence. "Peasants! I am Villainista! Turn over Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculous to me at once, or suffer the consequences!"

Screams erupted at the sight of the villain, the mass of people in the exhibition hall running for the exit on the opposite side of the room. However, before some of them could get out of range, a beam of the dark energy shot out of the pointed end of the quill, striking the victims. At the moment of impact, they froze in place for a moment, before righting themselves and approaching the villain. "Is there anything we can do for you, Mme. Villainista? Anything at all! Just say the word!"

"Bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir at once!" Villainista ordered her simpering slaves.

"Yes, Mme. Villainista! At once!"

Marinette, Alya, and Nino watched the exchange with horror in their eyes, but before any of them could react, Adrien ran over and grabbed Marinette by the hand. "Come on! You need to get somewhere safe!"

"Adrien!" Marinette's eyes widened as she was dragged bodily away from the VIP area. "Forget about me, you need to get somewhere safe too!"

"Come on, I know a hiding spot. You can wait there for Ladybug and Chat Noir to get here and take care of the villain."

"What about Nino and Alya?" Marinette looked over her shoulder for her friends.

"I saw them running away too. Come on, this way." Marinette started running under her own power, following Adrien, his grip still firm on her hand. On the far end of the exhibition hall, Adrien opened the door to a supply closet, shoving Marinette inside. "Stay here until I come get you, all right?" Adrien said.

"But, Adrien," Marinette started, but the blond interrupted her with a quick kiss to her lips.

"Please. For me." Marinette nodded mutely as Adrien closed the door between them. As soon as she heard his footsteps running away, she opened her purse, Tikki flying out.

"I don't know what just happened, but there's an Akuma outside, and we need to take care of it. Tikki, spots on!" A flash of light filled the supply closet as Marinette transformed into Ladybug. She opened the door and darted outside without looking--only to run smack-dab into a solid chest. A very familiar chest.

Chat Noir stood in front of her, a knowing smile on his lips. "I was hoping it was you, My Lady."

[merciattire-blog]

12 Wardrobe Essentials You Shouldn’t Live Without

Let’s pause and take a second to look back and mentally picture the clothing items we had hanging in our closets ten years ago. Did you just cringe as much as I did? It’s likely that the most memorable items that came to mind were those short-lived trends that, if you are anything like me, you now choose to repress into your deepest, darkest memories. (If someone back then had just let me know that middle-school Paige was going overkill on the neon fad, the world would truly be a better place.) My point here is, you never know what the next hottest fashion trends will bring, nor what beloved pieces you have today will make you red in the face ten years down the road.

Nonetheless, there are some fashion staples that have stood the test of time and are here to stay. In today’s blog, I will elaborate on these basic, yet timeless pieces that every wardrobe should encompass to remain eternally stylish and chic.

1. White Tee

As a disclaimer, the listing of these wardrobe pieces has no rhyme or reason – except for this first item. This is the most important. You literally can never go wrong with a plain white tee (unless you’re a spiller). In my personal experience, I wear my simple white t-shirt about 80% of the time and I have absolutely no shame. To back up this fashion pick, let’s play a game. What goes well with some distressed jeans? A white tee. Some black high-waisted jeans? A white tee. Your favorite pair of shorts? A white tee. A pair of overalls? I think you see my point. Take my word that this is a timeless piece that should always hold a special place in one’s heart, or closet. Whatever.

2. Little Black Dress

No further explanation is really needed, right? It’s that one dress in your closet that all your other dresses wish they could be. One good-fitting LBD (little black dress) is your best friend when it comes to classy events without much notice. By simply switching out accessories, this piece can go from casual to elegant in seconds. To better ensure its versatility, aim for one with a modest length and high neckline.

3. Button-Up Shirt

As a business major, I would like to stress the importance that my white button-up serves in my closet. If you’re in need of a classy ensemble, there’s no going wrong with this piece. Throw this on tucked into some black pants or a pencil skirt and you’re good to go. Even if you’re going for an off-duty look, this classic top half-tucked into some high-rise jeans paired with some booties or heels is an effortless, yet totally chic look.

4. Jean Jacket

Ah, my trusty ol’ jean jacket. It truly holds a special place in my heart (and my closet). After becoming the hottest trend in the 80’s, it’s one that is sure to stick around for many years to come. Nothing spruces up an old t-shirt quite like a light-wash jean jacket, especially if you’re going for that 90’s grunge look. Even here in Wisconsin, where the weather is typically either 20 or 80 degrees, I find a way to sneak this classic in somewhere within the glimpses of spring. Pro tip: don’t make the same mistake I did; go for one that is a bit oversized so you can layer, layer, layer! Mine is a bit snug, but being a bit chilly sometimes is still 100% worth it.

5. Leather Jacket

The one piece of clothing that you can throw over any outfit and BAM! Instant badass. If you don’t own one yet, there’s plenty of styles to choose from. A faux leather moto jacket is the perfect starting point and you can find one pretty much anywhere. Coming from someone who looks for any reason to bring out my inner rebel (spoiler alert: it’s pretty much nonexistent), I guarantee you won’t regret it. Once you get a basic black one, you can even extend your collection by adding in some other colors. My closet consists of leather jackets in black, gray, white, brown, pink (for when I’m feeling more feminine vibes), and, my personal favorite, a floral embroidered one. Do I have an obsession? Probably. Am I ashamed of it? Not in the slightest.

6. Knit Sweater

Nothing says “cozy” quite like a big, soft sweater. As a college student that faces the true brutality of Wisconsin winters, chunky sweaters have been a lifesaving essential. This is probably the one item that I would vouch for as being most splurge-worthy. There are far too many itchy sweaters in the world that fall apart after two washes, so my advice to you is to seek out a comfortable, long lasting one. You deserve it. Now, say it with me: “I am better than itchy sweaters”.

7. Go-To Jeans

So, you had a plan to go over to meet a friend for lunch, but you overslept, you’re already running late and you have yet to get dressed... and do your hair… and makeup. We’ve all been there. There’s always the option to hit cancel on the hair and makeup; just bun it up and go for the au naturel makeup look that is so in. Alas, you probably still need to put on some clothes (I know what you’re thinking, but let’s just assume your just-slept-in yoga pants just won’t cut it this time). You don’t have the time to try on every pair of pants in your closet, not this time. So, what jeans are you thinking? If you have one specific pair in mind, your one true pantsmate, you are a lucky gal. If not, you owe it to yourself to go find that special pair. High-rise, low-rise, boot cut, skinny, whichever you fancy. Go find that pair that speaks to you. One you can always rely on, even around the holidays (i.e. stretchy fabric is your best friend). If you’re having trouble finding your pantsmate, here’s a helpful article on which jeans are best for your body type. Go on, get educated; become a jeanius.

8. Leggings

This is just a given, we all have ‘em. They’re truly amazing. Life-changing, even. Finding a sturdy, warm pair of black high-rise leggings will surely get you through any challenges life throws at you. Hence, why they make up half of the official finals week uniform, along with a greatly oversized sweatshirt that probably hasn’t been washed since syllabus week. On top of that, they serve an even greater purpose rather than wallowing in salty finals tears: working out. Who knew? I can’t be the only one who only works out 2% of the time when I wear these. Nonetheless, leggings are an essential for both everyday wear, or for the workout buffs (kudos to you, brave warriors). Also, I must add that leggings with pockets do exist and they are a total game-changer.

9. Pencil Skirt

The ultimate formal attire must-have. For any occasion where you just aren’t feeling a dress, a solid pencil skirt with a nice blouse or button-up is your best friend. This simple, timeless piece is one that will never not look classy and stylish. Plus, if you find a good quality one like I did, it may just last you for over 10 years. (I bet middle-school Paige didn’t see that coming.) My pencil skirt has gotten me through almost every single presentation in college thus far and I don’t plan on trading it in anytime soon.

10. Ankle Boots

Who doesn’t love a good pair of booties? They are the ultimate autumn fashion staple that you are guaranteed to fall in love with. I own two trusty pairs of booties: one in black faux leather, and the other in taupe suede. Both have been through countless lectures, business meetings, and crunched their way through the crisp fall leaves on the way there. They are the ultimate comfort shoes.

11. Black Pumps

Now, I’m going to assume here that no one likes walking in heels. We typically wear them to dress up an outfit, improve our posture, accentuate our legs, or to give us a little confidence boost. No matter what the reason, a pair of simple black pumps can really do it all. Whether you’re heading to a business meeting, happy hour, or a casual date night, they’re one accessory that won’t let you down (unless a heel breaks and in that case, they are quite literally letting you down). I suggest you invest in a pair that is somewhat comfortable. Believe it or not, there are some shoe makers aren’t out to kill your poor feet. Here are some top-rated heel brands based on their comfortability.

12. Basic Sneakers

If you were to see me any day during the week, odds are that I’d be wearing either my Slick Adidas or my Snappy Vans. That’s right, I even named them. Walking-friendly shoes are a necessity, especially for college students. I honestly have not realized the amount of walking I would face in my life until I entered college. However, with a nice pair of worn-in sneakers, the lack of car travel is no problem. I’d recommend either black or white; that way, they pair well with any outfit.

So, there you have it: the wardrobe pieces that have a lifetime membership to my closet. What is one timeless wardrobe piece you couldn’t live without?

[josephlrushing]

Powered by Wear OS, the OPPO Watch Is an Android User’s Answer to Smart Wrist-Wear

Complete with the World’s first dual-curved display, the OPPO Watch is a Google user’s answer to the Apple Watch. I’ve been trying it out for the last few months and have been absolutely amazed by its style and functionality. But is that because I’m so used to the form and functionality of the Apple Watch?

Available in 41 or 46mm, the OPPO Watch is designed for life; if it weren’t for its curves, you’d absolutely be forgiven for thinking that the Apple Watch heavily inspired it. The 41mm Wi-Fi-only version is available in Black, Pink Gold, or a Silver Mist color, while the 46mm comes in Black or Glossy Gold with a choice of a WiFi-only version or an LTE option. As someone familiar with black smartwatches, I opted for the Black, but it’s all about your personal preference. Not to be confused with the Apple Watch, I was actually confused about why the company, even with the name. OPPO decided to call their watch the OPPO Watch instead of opting for a unique name that doesn’t seem like the company is just copying and playing off of Apple. Outside of the US, OPPO is a huge smartphone brand, and I get that. However, maybe naming it something different, say “the Op Watch,” wouldn’t come off as someone who’s newly discovering the brand as “oh that just sounds like a knock off Apple Watch” just looking at the packaging.  

I received the 46 mm, LTE model for review.

Aside from the obvious style and name comparisons, the OPPO Watch holds its own as an everyday, all-terrain smartwatch that looks great whether you are dressing for business or casual. One thing I immediately noticed in my first two weeks with the OPPO was its battery life.

If you are an Android user, battery life is something you’ll truly appreciate in the OPPO as it will keep up with your lifestyle. I’ve been able to use the OPPO Watch for roughly a day and a half on a single charge, completing over 18K steps, two workouts, and overnight wear — all without turning it off or changing any settings. Your mileage may vary, but for a watch that boasts an always-on display and Tilt-to-Wake functionality, I was surprised that my constant tossing and turning in the middle of the night, as well as getting up periodically to change my baby daughter’s diapers, allowed enough battery for me to not only to wear it overnight but for the watch to survive without a charge until roughly 2:15 pm the following day. 

The 430 mAh battery allows for a quick charge, so if you have a low battery and need to top it off before heading out somewhere, that option is available. According to OPPO, you can get 16 hours of power with a 15-minute charge. While I’ll say that it does fast charge if you have every setting such as Always-On Display, GPS, Bluetooth, 4G, and Wi-Fi connected, the chances are that you might not get that 16 hours. If you also factor in alerts and notifications (which I don’t receive many of on my Pixel), this could also drain the battery.

I was surprised by the aluminum alloy build in terms of design, complete with the ceramic back. It’s wider than I’m used to, and for some reason, it reminded me a bit of the Casio Calculator watch of the ’90s, minus the buttons and dreadful wristband. I expected the watch to be heavy on the wrist, but I am delighted that it is comfortable to wear and doesn’t feel heavy after a long day at work or the gym. It has a 1.91″ long rectangular 3D flexible AMOLED screen with 402 x 476 pixels at 326 ppi. At about 1.6″ wide, it’s a bit wider than the Apple Watch, which I wasn’t too keen on because I don’t typically spend too much time looking at the information on my wrist, so the need for a large display while a good idea, reminded me a bit of a Dick Tracy-esque watch that sat too wide on my wrist.

My biggest complaint regarding the OPPO Watch isn’t about its design, but it’s connectivity. I connected the watch to my Verizon Wireless service, paired as a smartwatch for $10 a month with my Google Pixel 4XL. This not only allowed me to take calls-on-the-go but if I left my Pixel in the house while going on a run to the store, I could still be reached by my wife. While the 4G connectivity was comparable to that of the Apple Watch, the Bluetooth and GPS, unfortunately, were not.

Paired with the Jabra Elite 75ts, I would take my OPPO Watch on the go for runs; for some unknown reason, the Bluetooth would randomly drop. I wear my watch on my left wrist, and when running along the beach or even just taking a walk around the block, the audio in my headphones would cut in and out. I thought the issue might have been with the headphones first, so I swapped them out with a pair of Shure AONIC 4 Bluetooth earbuds, but I encountered the same issues. As of now, I still haven’t truly found a remedy for this other than simply bringing my phone with me on runs and allowing the audio to play directly from the Pixel. This is a huge problem that I hope that OPPO fixes it —hopefully soon, in an OTA update.

Despite this, the OPPO Watch is tailored for the active lifestyle. The company prides itself on the smartwatches five exercise sensors, including the GPS + GLONASS. Allowing you to track your heart rate and other physical stats accurately, you can get five-minute workouts with a tap of the screen, which is great on a busy day. This is something I’ve wanted Apple to include for years, so the fact the OPPO Watch has this built-in not only is great but has the potential to make Google’s Fit program even more robust to compete with Apple’s Fitness+ program that will come out later this year.

Another health highlight is the improved sleep tracking that gives you a detailed report about your sleep state if you’re into that. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t getting a consistent  7-8 hours of sleep without interruption until I tried this function on the OPPO. Compared to the Apple Watch’s sleep “apps,” which seem to be more miss-than-hit than the OPPO. I know that Apple has also included sleep tracking in their new OS. However, I haven’t yet fully tested that in comparison to OPPO’s built-in function.

As you can tell from my review, most of my likes and dislikes come from comparing the OPPO Watch to the Apple Watch. The OPPO Watch’s design looks better than Apple’s to me because of the curved display; however, where the watch falls behind is the internal OS. Wear OS, in my personal experience, tries too hard to be a mini-Android phone on your wrist, rather than being a smartwatch that complements your smartphone. Others have shared this sentiment about other Android watches, and the OPPO Watch falls into this trap as well — it felt like it was trying to take everything people love from Apple, including a play on its name, without focusing on the OS. The OS isn’t OPPO’s fault; it’s Google’s. Google seems to be sabotaging its smartwatch line with a lack of proper OS updates and a complete disregard for making the watch a watch first and a smartphone tool second.

In terms of Wear OS, my main gripe is that it feels like not much has changed about the software throughout the years. Compared to the likes of Samsung, Wear OS this year received its first true update since 2018, and even in the update, I’ve discovered constant freezing in the OPPO Watch when doing things like setting timers when cooking or even delayed ringing between answering a call from my phone on the OPPO Watch. At first, I believed this was isolated to the OPPO Watch, but after reading about other people’s problems with Wear OS, I discovered it wasn’t the smartwatch but the software. While I haven’t experienced this on a workout, it would be a huge deterrent if I’ve logged in many steps or miles and received inaccurate readings because the watch stutters to log appropriately. 

The upside to Wear OS, though, is that it is more useful than Apple’s Siri. With a quick “Hey Google,” I’m able to ask virtually anything I’d ask Google’s app on my phone and get similar results. No stutter or “I can’t find that” like the Apple Watch, and honestly, I fell in LOVE with that. Also, with Wear OS, I love the ability to see notifications CRYSTAL clear thanks to notifications being color-coordinated; this saves me a bunch of time knowing a glance at my watch that the Facebook notification that I received could wait to see what my Grandmother posted. 

So, it is the OPPO Watch one of the best Wear OS watches available? Yes. Is it better than the Apple Watch? Absolutely not, but again I’m attempting not to be biased. I enjoy the color coordination of notifications and the ability to turn off the Always On Display (the 2.19 update patched a bug that fixed the display showing up grey, causing more battery drain, which has resulted in steady battery life for me. For reference, my battery life on my Series 5 watch seems to have worsened with WatchOS 7, which is right on time for them to release series 6, which I will not be purchasing.) Is there room for improvement? For sure. In terms of improvement, I think the 41mm model should’ve had the same curved edge display as the 46mm. Feels like OPPO decided this would be more “premiere” for the 46mm version; however, not everyone likes large square watch faces. The 41mm looks like a sweet spot for both women and men alike and would look a bit more elegant with the curved display.

I have grown to love the two buttons on the right of the OPPO Watch. Both buttons are used to navigate the OPPO Watch; they can be readily identified, have enough raise that allows you to know when they are pressed — and do not snag on fabrics like the Apple Watch’s turn wheel. The watch is also water-resistant for up to 50 meters, which seems to be the industry standard these days; if only I lived in a warm enough climate to have enjoyed a day at the pool wearing this. So let me end the review by saying this: If I were ever completely to leave Apple, I’d have to leave the Apple Watch with it. And aside from Wear OS having its quirks, the OPPO Watch might be the only watch I’d consider for my Android device. The curved screen is obviously the highlight feature, but aside from that, the familiarity with the form factor means I can go out wearing it. Nobody would be able to tell the difference until a colorized notification popped up. I just really, really wish that Wear OS would fix the constant freezing in an update. 

If you’re interested in getting your hands on the OPPO Watch, I would say to get the LTE model so you can truly enjoy the ability to use cellular service on your carrier. I wish that OPPO would’ve included this in their 41MM version (it’s Wi-Fi only). You can learn more about the OPPO Watch by clicking here.

The OPPO Watch sells for $480 for the 46mm model and $299 for the 41mm model. Oppo is in the process of launching this watch globally; it will be coming to the US soon, and we will update with a link on where to buy once it does. 

Source: Manufacturer supplied review unit

What I Like: Innovative design & Curved Display; Ability to use with LTE data for $10 on Verizon; Colorized Notifications

What Needs Improvement: Wear OS has issues which are present in the OPPO Watch

The post Powered by Wear OS, the OPPO Watch Is an Android User's Answer to Smart Wrist-Wear first appeared on GearDiary.

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/11/12/powered-by-wear-os-the-oppo-watch-is-an-android-users-answer-to-smart-wrist-wear/

[u2shops]

The Laserless Tattoo Removal Guide

I KNOW: YOU WANT THAT TATTOO OFF YOUR BODY RIGHT NOW! You're tired of… People judging you based on what they think your tattoo means (and it's never a fair, balanced presumption, is it?) 

Tired of having to think of that old flame, or that old tribe that you put behind yourself every time you see your own flesh (Memories can fade – but only given the opportunity). 

Tired of having to hide all the time. Of having to think about what you're going to wear just based on your tattoo and whether it's going to be seen or not.

Well I have got news for you. Because no matter what reason you want to get your tattoo removed – you're about to find a whole new proven method for getting it off without even leaving your house (other than perhaps a quick trip to the grocery store!). WHY LASER TATTOO REMOVALS COST SO MUCH MORE THAN TATTOO ARTISTS It's all about image, my friend. Us artists – we spend YEARS detailing symbols of love, motivation, and spirit. From your heart and your mind onto your skin. I love my work and I think it pays well. I typically get between $50-$200 for my tattoos depending on the size and complexity. So then why is an artist doing a tattoo for $100 when tattoo removal "specialists" are charging $500 to thousands for removal? It doesn't make sense for such a wide difference in any LEGITIMATE industry. Here's where things get a bit dark, I'm afraid. LASER REMOVAL: NOTHING MORE THAN A PARASITIC MONEY-GRAB It works like this: A fresh-out-of-medical-school grad decides he'd rather go into an easy field rather than a difficult and thankless one (like emergency room surgery or primary care). Newly minted with a shiny white lab coat and a medical laser, this medical professional broadcasts on local radio, TV, and neighborhood handouts. His message? "QUICK, EASY, AND PAINLESS TATTOO REMOVAL!" THE AD STATES. Of course it's never quite that simple, is it? Despite a typical session taking minutes on average, the good doc charges an exorbitant amount for the luxury of beaming your skin with his special laser. The skin burns beat red… but it does seem to have faded… somewhat. Maybe after another 4 or 5 of these, everything will be back to normal? What's that… a patient speaks up out of concern? "Sorry, this is the only way to remove it" says the doc. Every year this American Medical Association endorsed money grab continues to rake millions upon millions of dollars out of people who want to get simple ink removed from their skin. Thousands of dollars raked in from every unsuspecting victim, who didn't know any better than to listen to overpriced, over-rated laser skincare ads. It sickens me. As both an artist, and natural removal advocate, something needs to be changed about the practice. THERE ARE BETTER OPTIONS OUT THERE THAT DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR Remove the tattoos painlessly and inexpensively. Without needing any overpriced "experts" hovering around over you, racking up a huge bill for a SIMPLE skin-deep change! 

You can finally stop being judged based on what's ON your skin. And start commanding respect based on WHO you are and WHAT you actually have to say! 

You can keep past memories where they should be – buried in the past. You can show new people in your life how much you CARE, with a fresh new tattoo.

You're allowed to CHANGE your mind. Finally. And redecorate (or not) as you wish!

Wear what you want, whenever you want, without having to plan your dress around your tattoos ever again! 

The Laserless Tattoo Removal Guide™ How to Get Rid of Unwanted Tattoos Naturally without Painful, Expensive and Harmful Procedures Because that's all it is. Ink under your skin. We're not talking about brain surgery here. So don't be willing to pay surgery prices to fix a simple skin decoration. That said, you can't just wipe the ink away either. It is under your skin after all. Which is why The Laserless Tattoo Removal Guide™ goes over exactly how to get it done safely and correctly. IN THIS ACTION ORIENTED – GET IT DONE IN LESS TIME/FOR LESS MONEY GUIDE, WE'RE GOING TO BE COVERING THE FOLLOWING TOPICS:

A detailed breakdown of your tattoo’s place in you. We’ll talk about your skin layers, the ink used, and where exactly the ink is located within those skin layers 

All natural herbs that break down ink pigments, slowly flushing them out of your system in mere weeks 

Methods that don't work – you may have read about some of these online. Here you'll read about why you should not use them, and why some methods are even dangerous

The harmful long term effects of skin laser treatment -- and why even a good treatment can bring problems far down the line!

A full ingredient list that you can pick up on your next outing to the local grocery store and alternative health market to flush the ink naturally using your body’s own waste removal process.

Step-by-step methods to take off tattoos of any size, complexity, color, or location on your body

Quick methods that yield fast results: when you have a job interview in days and don't have time to wait – these tactics will mask your tattoos by 80 to 90%, sometimes completely -- in HOURS Read the full article

[mayhemories]

Braids & War Paint (Part 6)

Note’s On:

Part 1: / Part 2: / Part 3: / Part 4: / Part 5: 

I’m sorry this took so long, hopefully the length of this chapter will make up for it x                                                                                                       I’d just like to start this off by saying thank you to everyone for 105 followers, I know that doesn’t seem like much but it means a lot to me. I just can’t believe it. Thank you. 

It had begun. The preparations for Beltane. Maypole’s had popped up all over the city, dancing and signing in the streets could be heard for miles, fire pits everywhere, gifts for the little folk had been left at the edge of the Oakwald, the training field had been emptied for the Thirteen Blackbeak Witches and their overgrown lizards with wings. They were the only witches Terrasen had anything to do with after their war against the Yellowlegs, Bluebloods and that ghastly Blackbeak matron and the rest of her clan. The Thirteen had fought with Terrasen those days. That’s what Aelin liked about Beltane, people from all over Erilea put their disagreements, put aside their hatred and disgust for other kingdoms just for the night. 

Right now Aelin was having her final dress fitting. Lysandra, Elide, Nesryn, Sorcha and Dorian all came to see. Usually Aelin would keep her gown under wraps until the final hour, but this year was different, she wanted more opinions than just her mother’s. 

It was one of the most gorgeous gowns Aelin had ever worn. She usually wore the typical princess dress, fluffy and girly and usually a pastel colour. This year was different, she was a woman now. It was red like the deepest flame, intricately beaded with jewels that were laid on sheer panels on the bust, bodice and sleeves. It had a cut on the chest, deep enough to catch your eye but covered enough for someone of her ranking. It brushed the floor, long enough that you could only see Aelin’s golden heels when she moved. 

She looked impressive. She was impressive. She just hoped that was enough. 

“Stunning, as per usual.” Lysandra smiled, twirling her finger in slow circles indicating for Aelin to spin around. She followed the command. Lysandra could wear a potato sack and still look stunning. Her dress was gold and figure hugging with a deep cut and a cape accent. Before Aelin had gotten her gown made she was going to fight Lysandra for her gown. But then Aedion ‘accidentally’ saw her in it and the game was over, she had to wear it. Aelin knew how independent Lysandra was but a small part of her thought Lysandra chose the golden hue to match Aedion’s eyes. 

“Your fae will certainly stumble when he see’s you like that.” Dorian mocked causing the rest of her party to giggle, except Nesryn. She just doesn’t laugh unless Chaol does something that gets him minor injuries. 

“It’s not like that,” Aelin said, turning around so her faint blush wouldn’t be seen. “We’re carranam, he’s my friend.” 

Aelin only heard Elide’s mumble of what sounded like a “Whatever” before she ducked behind the modesty curtain. 

Rowan was sweating bricks. 

He stood in the drawing room, leaning against one of the windows. The carriages pulled in one by one, asterion horses pulling every pompous nobility of Erilea to Aelin’s doorstep. Rowan only had his Doneralle uniform as his finery. He wondered how Galan was holding up, wondered if he packed something appropriate for tonight or if he had to beg the Wolf of the North. He wondered what dresses would flood the ball room, he wondered if Terrasen’s music was similar to Doneralle’s. He wondered a lot of things. 

“Prince Rowan?” A feminine voice sounded from the doorway, Lady Elide Lochan from Perranth stood in a blue ballgown that had crystals in a plaid pattern. Elegant and simple. “The ball is about to commence, would you like to walk me in?” She said kindly. Rowan wondered if there was a bad bone in her body. Aelin had told him a lot about her future court. Elide was blessed by Anneith, the Goddess of Wisdom and Wise Things. Rowan knew she was smart, by asking him to walk her in he wouldn’t have to go alone and face the stares of the whole of Erilea. It wasn’t because he was afraid, Rowan wasn’t afraid of much. He just knew that Aelin wanted to be the one to introduce him to her friends, he couldn’t steal that pleasure from her. 

“Of course.” Rowan extended his bent elbow to the young lady. Aelin told him of when they were children, how they had been riding their horses and Elide had fallen, how her ankle got caught under a tree root, how nothing could be done when the horse jumped onto her leg. They removed it from under the knee and another member of Aelin’s future court, Nox Owen an inventor had crafted her a knew limb from metal out of an old clock. It was incredible really. 

The ballroom was lit with the biggest collection of crystal chandeliers Rowan had ever seen. Three thrones sat against the wall, opposite the grand staircase, which thankfully Elide lead him away from, they came through a door that must be for castle staff. 

The music was was loud and upbeat. It was very different to Doneralle, it was more like the intense tunes he had heard at Mistward; harps, lutes, lyres, violins and a pianoforte played symphonies. 

Elide lead Rowan over to a small group near the base of the throne dais. Some faces he knew like: Galan, Lysandra, Aedion, Prince Dorian, Captain Westfall, Nesryn and Sorcha. But the rest were foreign to him. If Lysandra’s, Nesryn’s and Sorcha’s gowns were anything to go by, Aelin would look like a goddess from above. Though Rowan knew that already, he knew that Aelin knew that too. Nesryn’s gown was a thick navy fabric, with a thin cut down the centre and Sorcha’s was the complete opposite, more dainty and childlike- which was her personality personified in fabric. Innocent in a pale pink with green floral accents. Lysandra was just drenched in gold. But he didn’t expect much more than that. Navy must have been the colour of the season, two Blackbeak witches wore navy, one a dress with a cape and the other, the one with white hair, wore navy pants that were attached to a beaded bodice, a jumpsuit Aelin had said.

“Everybody, this is Prince Rowan Whitethorn of Doneralle, I’m sure some of you have met before.” Elide said sweetly, a few members of the party gave him curt nods, he received smiles from Lysandra and Prince Dorian. 

The night was going smoother that Rowan anticipated. 

A young red-headed girl with freckles and wine coloured eyes extended her hand out to Rowan, her smile reminded him of a wolf. 

“Lady Ansel of Briarcliff, a pleasure to meet you.” Rowan shook her hand and nodded. What caught his eye was the golden pummel of her sword, in the shape of a wolfs head. Rowan was fascinated by the human girl who wore a plain silver dress with patterns that reminded him of his cousin’s wallpaper. They were at a ball yet she deemed it necessary to strap a sword around her waist. No wonder she was a friend of Aelin’s. 

“An honour to meet you.” Rowan said, his voice empty, all the thoughts were whirring around in his head, they all centred around one existence that was not yet here. 

Another woman, maybe a few years older than Aelin with raven hair and fair skin extended her hand after Rowan retracted his from Ansel of Briarcliff’s scar flecked one. She was cunning, Rowan could see it by just looking at her. Her dress was black and matched her hair, with sheer panels and lace, a black cape protruded from her shoulders. 

“Lady Kaltain of Fenharrow, Aelin’s magic counterpart.” Rowan’s eyebrows quirked at her introduction, but took her hand anyway. “My flames used to be gold like Aelin’s when I was young but then I grew and they turned into shadows that burned any light they saw.” Lady Kaltain explained, Rowan saw Lysandra roll her eyes and the elbow to the ribs from Elide. 

“How interesting.” Rowan said politely, his patience was waring thin. 

Introduction after introduction: Lady Ansel of Briarcliff- military personnel, Lady Kaltain Rompier of Fenharrow- spy, Nehemia Ytger Crown Princess of Eyllwe- the wyrdmarker, Lord Ren Allsbrook- the diplomat, Manon Blackbeak- Leader of the thirteen aerial witches of The Wastes, Asterin Blackbeak- Manon’s second, the eleven other Blackbeaks: Sorrel, Vesta, Linnea, Ghislaine, Fallon, Faline, Imogen, Thea, Kaya, Eda and Briar, Nox Owen- the inventor and Illias of the Silent Assassins- Aelin’s trainer in the ways of the assassin. 

So much for Aelin introducing him. 

The room had gone silent, Rowan piveted at the sound of doors opening, a short man, an announcer, called out into the stone silent ballroom:

“Please make way for Terrasen’s royal family!” King Orlon came first, the clapping and cheering was deafening as soon as his boot passed the threshold. Rowan turned to Aedion,

“Shouldn’t you be up there?” He asked, the celebrating nearly drowning Rowan’s voice, Aedion shook his head.

“I’m technically a part of the Wendlyn Royal family.” 

Rowan’s eyes wandered back to the stairs, Prince Rhoe and Princess Evalin stood proud, the three of them walking down the stairs together before taking their spots on the dais, the three thrones made of gnarled wood and antlers. 

But where was Aelin? 

“And finally, Terrasen’s Heir, Princess Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.” 

Rowan’s jaw clenched when he saw her, his hands curled into tight fists- knuckles now white, his chest felt tight and his heart was pumping at an insane rate. Aelin was devastatingly beautiful at the worst of times, now when she had been done up in the red dress, her cosmetics dark and sultry, her hair was puled back in a sleek tail, her antler tiara keeping her wild streak. 

Rowan had never seen something so beautiful, she still looked the same as when he watched her watch the sunrise, she was just highlighted now.  She caught his eye during her descent, he swore she could hear the rhythm of his heart. As her heel touched the ballroom floor the music cranked back up again, as did the conversations around the room. 

Rowan walked for her, they met in the middle of the floor. For Rowan everything was happening so quickly but yet he felt like h’s movements were slow as he took her hand, bowed and rand his lips over her smooth knuckles. 

In that moment he could live forever. 

“You look beautiful.” Rowan said, it had become hard to swallow. His throat cutting off any words he might regret. But when she smiled at him from under her thick lashes he was gone. 

“You represent your kingdom well.” Aelin’s eyes sparkled as she traced the owl on his cuff.

Couples took the floor, dancing around the pair as if they were nothing but furniture. Dorian took Manon Blackbeak by the wrist and took her onto the floor, her navy pants flying around as he spun her. 

“Would you like to dance with me, Rowan Whitethorn?”

“It would be an honour, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.” 

Galan watched the couples take the floor from where he stood near the food tables. 

Aelin and Rowan had been dancing for nearly eight songs, Aedion and Lysandra nearly half that. The Prince of Adarlan and the Iron-toothed witch had been dancing as if their bodies were moulded for each other. Captain Westfall and Private Faliq had found good rhythm in talking rather than dancing, as did Lady Elide and the rest of the Blackbeak witches, Sorcha the healer girl was dancing with the inventor Galan had met that morning, Nox he thought the name was. The boy from the desert and the princess of Eyllwe were having a conversation but not with their mouths, signing to each other instead. 

Galan wanted to go home. 

He missed his father, he missed his horse, he missed his own godsdamned bed and he didn’t care if he was complaining like a child. Galan had never seen Terrasen before, he had never experienced the wild. The wild wasn’t his calling but he couldn’t believe that Rowan had somehow joined the flame in the middle of the forest. 

“Would you like to get some air?” Aelin asked Rowan as she lead him off the dance floor, he nodded and Aelin took him out the service door, towards the rose garden. 

The moon gave a pale cast onto all the flowers, their pigment suddenly gone. 

Aelin clung onto Rowan’s arm, her heart racing at the new found privacy. He was her carranam, she’d respect him but you couldn’t blame a girl for trying. 

“What did you think of them?” Asked Aelin. She had wanted to introduce her friends to him, but it seems he beat her to it.

“Who? Your friends?” Rowan asked, his accent thicker than she remembered, she wondered if he didn't try to hide it as much after she told him she liked the sound of it.

“Some are friends, some are allies.” Aelin said casually, her mind running to whether Dorian and Manon had found their own privacy yet. 

“They were…” Rowan wracked his brain for the right word, Aelin could see him searching for something of little offence before he settled with: “Unique.” 

Aelin nodded, he wasn’t wrong. 

A marble seat was before them, Aelin had lead Rowan into the middle of the rose garden where the hedges were the tallest and the guards were non-existent. She unlaced herself from Rowan’s muscled arm and sat on the seat, looking at the full moon, Rowan following her every move. He sat next to her and Aelin ran through all the probabilities in her head for what she was about to do. 

Aelin turned her body to face him, Rowan’s glance still trained on the moon. She didn’t know whether it was romantic, stupid or nïeve but she placed on of her hands on his. Rowan’s attention was locked on her, she could feel the burning of his gaze.

Rowan’s breathing hitched for a millisecond and that’s all it took for Aelin to lean in and brush her red lips onto his before kissing him fully. 

He didn’t kiss her back.

As Aelin started to pull away, ashamed and hurt, Rowan’s hand flew to her cheek, cupped it and kissed her back with such gentleness Aelin nearly melted into the ground. 

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but you could’ve told Aelin forever and she would’ve believed it. They pulled away breathless, Aelin missed the taste of him, missed the feeling of their lips together already. 

“Thank the gods I wasn’t the only one.” Was the only thing Rowan said before kissing her again. 

Aelin couldn’t sleep, not with the size of that smile on her face and that was when she realised. 

She sat up in her bed, Fleetfoot’s light snores were the only sound in the room as Aelin fished for the braid in her hair, she took out the band keeping the small braid in place and started to remove it, her hair was crinkled and wavy after having a braid in for so long.

She smiled at the leather band that had been woven in her hair seconds before, she placed it on her bedside table.

Her promise to Sam Cortland had been fulfilled, she had found true happiness in the form of a Fae warrior from Doneralle. 

AN: I hope you guys liked it and I’m so sorry it took so long :( 

This part was written for: @2-bookmaster-2 @aelin-and-feyre @rowanismybae @sparkleywonderful @cassiancalore @igniscorde7112 @illyrian-high-lord @daughterxofxnight @bigsis227 @crazybookladythings @gcarroll @sugarcoated44 @wolffrising @notjustanyoldfangirl  & @bluephoenix222

Thank you to everyone who read this! I love you all so much!

As always if you have any questions, ideas, prompts, requests or just want a good all chat jump into my inbox or ask me a question :) I always love hearing from you guys, don’t afraid to leave a comment.

Much love and many thanks!

-El.